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reiderwriter · 3 months

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♡ Forever Only ♡

Week 3 of my Playlist series

Summary: You thought you wouldn't see him again, at least for a while, but Spencer Reid finds you, and he has questions.

Warnings: smut, 18+ minors dni. Penetrative sex, voyeurism, fingering, multiple orgasms, semi-protected sex, creampie, almost breeding kink, like if you squint, slight angst, dom!Spencer Reid.

A/N: First smut of the series! This one is based on one of my top songs of 2023, everyone say thank you, Jaehyun, for releasing the closest K-pop is ever going to get to 00s R&B. I hope you all enjoy it 🥰

Masterlist || Spotify Playlist

Of all the places you'd been where you thought of Spencer Reid and your paths crossing again, you never expected it to actually happen here.

The club was lit so low, so you didn't really expect it to be him, your ex-something, not quite boyfriend, far from nothing, situationship maybe? But there he was.

Not just him, but all of them. The BAU, minus their bosses, were all dancing and drinking at various points around the club, having fun but still being vigilant.

You're surprised you notice him before he notices you, but you're not surprised that it doesn't take him much longer.

You're not exactly here to blend in with the crowd.

The low-cut dress with the lower-cut bust line is already getting as much attention as you'd expected it would, and that doesn't go unnoticed by Spencer as he finally drags his eyes over to the commotion you've made in the corner.

“I don't know you,” you tried to politely explain to the creep who'd blocked you in with one arm. “I'm just waiting for my friend, please leave me alone.”

“Let's have some fun, baby, you, me, that body you're hiding under those scraps of fabric. I'll make you scream, I promise.”

You'd scoffed the first few times he'd made similar remarks, but he was tenacious, and he didn't understand the word “no,” and was vaguely unfamiliar with “leave,” “me,” and “alone” too.

You'd scanned the room for a friendly face and had locked eyes with the man you'd been waiting six months to meet again. Perfect timing.

Of course, he'd picked up on your discomfort and walked your way, and of course, he'd bought back-up.

“Y/N, you should've sent me a text when you got here!” Emily Prentiss expertly grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a hug, as the man was forced to let you move.

“Sorry, I got a bit sidetracked,” you mumbled, still feeling the weight of the creeps gaze on you despite your newly inherited guard dogs.

“Come on over to the table, baby girl, we got bottle service. I'm going big tonight.” You tried to thank Morgan as well, but the smile you sent him didn't reach your eyes as you consciously avoided Spencer's gaze.

“You know these people, babe?” The stranger from behind you put a hand on your waist as he pulled you back a step, leaving you stumbling wide eyed until your back was to his chest, shoulders unconsciously rounding into a protective stance as you tried to shrug hum off.

“For the last time, let go of me. I don't know you, and I don't want to know you. This is your last warning.” You rounded on the man, turned your back to the other three agents, and tried to calm your thoughts to see his next reaction.

“Stuck-up bitch, I said you're coming home with me tonight.”

You made sure his last attempt to grab you was his last attempt to grab any woman as you flipped him onto his back, your fellow agents behind you pulling their guns and handcuffs to helpfully lead him out of his hunting grounds.

You'd hadn't wanted to see Spencer Reid again so soon, and you certainly hadn't wanted to enlist the entire teams help on a serial rape case, but it wasn't your final decision to make.

And honestly, you'd been glad for the help in the take down, with your office so understaffed.

After reading the creep his rights, seizing the date rape drug he'd planned to slip into your drink later that night, and the knives and rope in his card that he was planning to also use on you, you were just thankful that you had all the help you could get.

Now that you were back at the station at 4am, with nothing but aching muscles from handing the nearly 200 lbs man his ass to him on a platters and aching feet from doing it in heels, you wanted nothing else than for the last week to erase itself.

Six months absence from the BAU wasn't long enough to fall out of love with Spencer Reid, and you never thought it would be.

A year was all the time it had taken to fall head over heels for the man, and you'd assumed you could reverse that in the same time, so you'd left.

It wasn't a leave of absence but a strategic departure to a task force in Rapid City, where rape numbers were spiking. You were still doing your job, that was the important part.

You changed into your comfortable clothes in the locker room and grabbed your bag, ready to head out for the night, picking up your keys to head home. You only got two steps out of the room when you ran into him.

“Early start?” He joked, looking at you again with that hesitant half-smile he'd worn the entire week he'd been here.

“Late night.” You replied. It had been a joke you'd developed after so many unusual shifts, so many 3am run-ins where neither of you could find the effort to make actual polite conversation so you'd said the two sentences and sat in amicable silence, often rested against each other as you let exhaustion carry you through the night.

“Can we talk? We're leaving in the morning, and I…” he struggled to find the words, jaw clenching and releasing the way it always did when he couldn't put his emotions into words just yet.

“Sure. But not here. My apartment is a five minute drive.” He nodded and followed you out of the building as you primed your heart to shatter into pieces again.

The drive home was quiet and peaceful, too late for natural traffic, and too early for the morning commute to begin. You made it home in record time and led him inside the apartment you'd chosen.

You flipped the light switch and kept you back to him while you completed your daily routine, trying your best to ignore that he was standing in your doorway. You tried not to be curious about what he could tell about you from the doorway, what the lack of decoration meant, how different it was from that cosy box room three blocks from his apartment, how cold it seemed instead.

So you kept your eyes off him to not have to answer the questions he'd likely have.

“So what did you want to talk about, Spence?” You almost cursed yourself for how easily the nickname slipped from your tongue. You'd heard JJ call him that a few times your first week in the office and assumed it was something everyone used for him. The way he flushed red when you said it the first time was engraved in your head, those first heavy beats of your heart alerting you to oncoming danger.

You grabbed two bottles of water from your fridge and walked back to your living room, where he was still stood taking things in.

“Spencer?” You asked again, holding out the bottle.

He took it with a small smile of thanks, and you led him over to the sofa, urging him to talk again.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“You… you didn't say goodbye.”

You knew this was coming, but you hoped he wouldn't have the courage to ask you the questions you knew were about to arrive at your door.

“I'm coming back in six months, Spencer. I didn't say goodbye because it wasn't going to be goodbye.” You'd turned this excuse over in your brain enough to know it was a weak argument, but you hoped your friendly smile would reassure him.

“You didn't tell anyone you were leaving until you were gone. That hurt a lot.”

“I didn't want to hurt you. Everything was just so fast. I had to take the offer immediately, or they would've moved onto someone else. You understand, right, Spencer?” He sat back, resigned, and nodded again slightly.

But a silence built up as he stared at you, and your hands got all sweaty the way they always did when he paid attention to you. You couldn't just stare everywhere else until he broke the silence again.

“How is Rachel? I haven't heard from her in a while.” You blurted the words under the weight of his gaze.

And you knew you'd said too much in those two sentences.

You'd first introduced Spencer to your college roommate after you realised you were in love with him. You'd spent a year at the BAU, and you thought he felt the same way, too.

You hadn't said anything, but you ate together at his apartment weekly, and you went on outings - dates, you'd thought they were dates - to museums and movies. He'd slept over at your house once, and you'd never felt happier than waking up with his arms wrapped around you.

So, of course, you'd taken him along to a party your friend from college was throwing. You'd nearly introduced him as your boyfriend, and looking back, you were glad Rachel had cut you off before you could.

“Is this the famous Spencer Reid? You're cuter than I thought you'd be.” You saw the flirtatious spark in her eyes, heard her tone, and felt uncomfortable.

You felt even worse when she took his hand and led him off to introduce him to more of your friends without a glance back at you.

For the first hour, you were worried about him, knowing that he never did great in social settings. You contented yourself by catching up with old friends, nursing a glass of wine, and trying not to follow him around the room with your eyes.

You'd given up and sat miserably in the corner for the next hour before you'd decided you wanted to leave. This time you'd had to track him down.

It wasn't that you'd found him in any compromising situation. He was just sat on the couch, smiling and talking to her. But when you said you wanted to go home, and he'd agreed to drive you back, she'd grabbed his hand.

“So Tuesday, 8 pm, right? It's a date." He nodded and said his goodbyes, and you wiped all of the emotion off your face so you didn't break down right there.

He talked to you as he drove back, but you could only nod and hum in response.

You shrugged off his concern as you walked into your apartment alone and let your heart break.

You were in Rapid City the next week.

“Your friend from college? I'm….I'm not sure.” He looked genuinely confused down at you as your lungs capsized in on themselves.

“Oh, right.” You nodded again and forced out a yawn, desperate to get rid of him before he could climb back into your heart again and roost there.

“You didn't keep in touch with her after you moved?”

“We had… a disagreement.” It was a kind way to put what had happened. You'd sent her one text asking her what all of that was at her party, and she'd sent you a paragraph back the day of her date with Spencer calling you pathetic and lonely and jealous. And then she'd blocked your number.

“That sucks. She seemed nice.” You couldn't help but scoff at his words, completely forgetting your plan to ask him to leave. Of course, he thought Rachel was nice. He'd been half in love with her by the end of that party.

“What was that for?” He asked, the words spilling out quickly as his eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed.

“Nothing. It's late, Spencer.”

“I don't think it was nothing. Why are you asking me about your friend? Why would I know?” He was on the edge of his seat now, and you needed desperately to put some space between you. You stood up and stretched, moving to clean up a pile of papers you'd left on your coffee table that morning.

“You certainly seemed interested six months ago, Spence. I just assumed there was a second date after that first one. My bad.”

You moved to your kitchen, bit he followed you.

“What do you mean? Y/N?” You weren't listening though, instead organising and cleaning things at a quick pace so your brain didn't have to focus on his question.

“Y/N, look at me. Please.” He stepped closer his chest nearly against your back as his hand found your wrist.

It was involuntary, but you relaxed into his familiar grip, your body finally content, and now it was back in his arms.

“Or don't look at me and just listen to me. I don't know what you're talking about, but I never went on any date with Rachel. I wasn't interested in her like that, I was interested in-” He stopped short, frustration ebbing his voice off as the silent words hung between the two of you.

You finally turned around to look at him, and you could see the hurt in his eyes.

He whispered his question again.

“Why didn't you say goodbye?”

“Because my heart was broken, Spencer. Because I took you to meet my friends and I thought I was going to introduce you as my boyfriend, but instead I got ignored the whole night and then you arranged to meet with her and she called it a date. I loved you, I love you and I couldn't say goodbye because then I'd have to hear about it. About how you were happy without me, when I was lonely and broken without you.”

You didn't know you were crying until the tears his your lips. He wiped then away, but they still tasted salty as you licked your lips.

“I didn't come to work for a month,” he confessed. “After you left, I tried to give Hotch my resignation letter. He wouldn't tell me where you went. I came back but it wasn't the same without you.” His forehead rested against yours, noses touching as his words came out barely above a whisper.

“I can't come back, Spencer. Not until I don't feel this way anymore.”

He didn't miss a beat before pressing his lips against yours.

“Don't.” He said between kisses, pinning you against your kitchen counter as he gripped your waist in one hand. You didn't pull away, even as you felt your hot tears flow freely.

“Don't stop loving me. Please.” His voice broke as he pulled you in for a hug, wrapping his arms tight around your back, pinning your hands to his chest as sobs wracked through your body.

You'd held onto this pain for a year and it was all spilling out now.

He looked at you again and started kissing each tear away, lifting you up until your legs were wrapped around him, and he was as close you you as he could possibly be.

“Love me forever. Please.”

You pulled his head away to look at him again, searching for reassurance again that this wasn't going to be one-sided.

“What about you? If I love you forever, which I don't think I have a choice in, how-”

“I love you. I loved you then, I love you now, I will always love you. I don't know how it wasn't clear when I followed you around every second of the day.” He kissed you with each confession, looking angry at himself that he'd never said the words before.

“I asked your friend how I should ask you to be my girlfriend. She had a lot of ideas and said we should meet up and talk about it. I didn't know…” He cursed, not quite as quietly as he'd attempted to. The strangeness of it shocked a laugh out of you, the rumble of it vibrating through your chest. He still held you tightly, but he looked at you again, getting out of his head.

“What's funny?”

“You tried to quit your job to look for me.”

“You moved to South Dakota instead of asking what we were.”

“You kissed me before you told me how you felt.”

“You kissed me back and then you laughed at me.”

“You swore!” You laughed again, and you were sure that he was going to have to put you down this time. You were laughing so much.

Instead he pulled you tighter into his arms and walked out of the kitchen.

“Is this the bedroom?” He asked nodding towards the closed door.

Your laugh quieted at the charged question, until your eyes found his lips as you nodded.

“Good.”

You let him lay you down on the bed before you pulled him in for another kiss, this one more fiery than any you'd shared in the kitchen as he hovered over you on the bed.

“Spencer!” You gasped as his hands trailed under your shirt. You regretted changing out of that small dress now, regretting the amount of fabric between you and him as his hands glided up to your breasts, mouth pressing kiss after kiss into your neck and collarbone.

He nestled his knee between yours and climbed fully over you, pushing your legs open as he showed you where you were going next. You moaned as your back arched into his touch, rubbing yourself against him but still needing him closer.

“I love every sound you make.’ He whispered as his other hand worked its way under the sweatpants you'd thrown on earlier, silently pushing them down your legs as you lifted your hips to help him once again.

His mouth connected with yours again after he got them to your knees, hand pressing flat against your stomach as you finished off the job.

He laid next to you, pulling his lips off your own as you trailed after him. But his eyes weren't on you anymore. You followed his gaze to his hand and watched him slip his fingers under your panties as he began to tease your sensitive parts.

You whimpered slightly as the contact, as he gathered some of your wetness and ran his fingers up and down your sensitive parts.

His lips found your ears. “Just like that. I want to hear you just like that. Whimper for me, Y/N. Beg for me. Let me know how much you want this.”

You gasped as he started rubbing slow even circles around your clit, his body still rolled to the side so he could watch intently the pleasure on your face.

It was near voyeuristic, his eyes focused on your face, the pants of air escaping your lips, the way your nipples had hardened, and had become visible through your shirt.

You hadn't been able to wear a bra with your dress earlier, you wanted to explain, but you couldn't find the words.

“Look at your body reacting to me. You need me to make you feel like this.” He whispered, lowering his head to press a chaste kiss over your clothed nipple. “Right?”

“Yes, fuck, yes Spencer. I need you.”

“Here. Can you feel how much I need you, too?” He grabbed your hand in his free one and pulled it over his erection, instructing you silently on how to hold it and rub it.

“I can feel it, Spencer. Please, please fuck me.” Your voice felt alien to yourself. You'd never had that high of a sex drive before, so you'd never thought you'd ever have to beg for it. But there was something in the tender touch of Spencer's fingers that has you desperate to feel him inside you.

“Do you have condoms?”

“No.”

“Birth control?”

“Yes, yes, please, Spencer. Please, I don't care.” His pace had picked up, his fingers moving slightly rougher than before, but you knew you were close as he kept massaging your sensitive clit.

You knew you were going to cum before you felt him inside you, you knew you'd want to cum again. You were going to be forever insatiable because of this man.

He kissed his way across your skin as he peeled your shirt and his clothes off, leaving your panties for last as he watched you grind your cunt into his fingers.

“I love you,” he whispered In your ear as he stroked his cock, watching your body convulse as you came just at his touch.

He kept his lips close to your ear as he entered you during the throes of your first orgasm, whispering again when he had slid his entire length into you. “And you're mine.”

You were intoxicated by his touch, cum drunk as he began thrusting and you wrapped your legs around his waist.

He nipped and sucked at your neck, listening to you moan and whimper as he pulled out and entered you again and again, head thrown back into the sheets of the bed you'd been too eager to climb underneath.

A few minutes of thrusting and he gripped your waist and sat you up on his cock, moving his hands to your thighs as you wrapped your arms around his neck as he bounced you steadily on his cock.

“Shit, Spencer, you're…so…deep,” you pulled him in closer, burying your head in his neck as you deafened as embarrassing squeal.

You came again on his cock as he used you like a flashlight, his own pants and groans soundtracking your breathless orgasm.

“That's it, good job, Y/N,” he cooed at you, lowering you back onto your back and thrusting shallowly through your convulsions. When you'd recovered slightly again, he gently pushed your legs up, stretching you so your knees were as far back as they could go, splayed open so they were almost touching the bed.

His forehead rested against yours again as he held you in place, keeping his eyes locked on yours as he snapped his hips into you with long, quick thrusts that had you gasping again for the breath he was forcing out of your lungs.

“I love you. And you are mine.” He said. “I love you, and you are mine.” The words were a mantra to him as he worked himself to the edge.

“Yes, yes, I'm yours. I love you, I'm yours, Spencer.” He came with a whimper, releasing inside of you and collapsing gently into your arms as you readied yourself to hold one another for the rest of eternity.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #spencer reid smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid criminal minds #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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aperrywilliams · 1 month

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From Now On (Spencer Reid x Pregnant!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Pregnant!Reader.

Summary: After faking his death for seven months, Spencer is back just to find out you’re eight months pregnant. After the initial commotion and your denial, you both step into the apartment you used to share. Things have changed and you must talk about it.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort. Talking about gunshots, blood, hospitals, faking death, pregnancy symptoms, potential abortion. If I missed something, let me know.

A/N: I’m back! I don't know for how long, but I needed to do something to fight my writer's block. This story can be read independently, but it is the second part of Seven Months.

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The cab ride to your apartment is mainly silent. Your head is tucked into Spencer's shoulder as he rubs your back from time to time. His nose is buried in your hair, inhaling your scent. God, he had missed it so much. He had missed you so much.

And he missed so much of your life in the past seven months. And that scares the shit out of him.

How would he fit into your life now? Does he have any right after faking his death and not telling you anything?

Rossi and Morgan told him you would understand eventually. That you would forgive him for doing this to you.

And maybe you are really considering. Maybe that’s why you went for him to Derek’s in the middle of the night.

Spencer wants that more than anything, but he feels like he doesn't deserve your forgiveness.

Now you both are in front of your building complex. The one that used to be his too.

Spencer knows the concrete walls are the same, but they don't feel like they are.

It's a strange feeling. A feeling that gets stronger when you open the apartment door.

Stepping inside, he knows this is where he used to live, but it doesn't look the same.

The shelves are no longer full of his books. Gone is his globe and coins collection that usually laid over the desk. There are just a couple of pictures of him with you on the wall. The decoration is different. Did you paint the place? Spencer is almost sure of that because it looks brighter than he remembered.

He's silent, inspecting everything around him. The walls, the bookshelf, the furniture: all changed.

After you take off your coat and hang it on the rack, your eyes follow him.

You know what’s going on. You have known Spencer for so long. Even if you thought you lost him, you still can read him like a book.

“Hope isn’t look too bad. I needed to, you know, make some changes?” you explain, not sure how to put the last months in words. Spencer turns to look at you, guilt written over his face. He knows what your words imply and remorse eats him alive.

“I - I’m sorry,” he mumbles, sure it's not enough to erase the hell you have been through since he were gone. Since they told you he was dead.

“I know.” Your response is short but not because you don’t have things to say. It's because you don’t know how to start. “Uh. Would you like some tea?”

It's the safest path. The one you both usually have taken the times you had fought and then try to speak it off. It's different this time, though.

Spencer hesitates. In other circumstances, he would agree and sit on the couch to talk. But it's late, the day has been a rollercoaster and you are eight months pregnant. He knows you should be sleeping, or resting at the very least.

“Maybe it's better you go to bed? It's late and you must be tired,” he points, nervously fidgeting with his hands, his gaze shifts between your eyes and belly.

“Honestly? I don't think I could sleep tonight even if I try,” you confess, moving to the kitchen to put the kettle.

”I don't think I could sleep either,” he admits, following to the kitchen. He wants to help, but he doesn’t want to look like an intruder in your space. A space that it’s not his anymore. Noticing Spencer doesn't know what to do with himself, you invited him to take a seat on the barstool.

“It will be ready in no time, don’t worry.”

You are the one who endured months of grief from your fiancee, carrying his child, and you are the one comforting him. Spencer thinks it's not fair.

In silence, he looks with raptor fascination at the way you move around the kitchen. It's delicate and calm. You have a glow that captivates him. You don’t realize his gaze until you turn to put the mugs over the counter.

“What?” you question softly.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, eyes entranced in you. You laugh, shaking your head.

“Come on, Spencer. I look like a mess. This belly reaches everything minutes before I can. It's huge! I can barely walk decently. Look at my hair! And my skin. It's sticky all the time.”

As you ramble about why isn’t accurate to call you beautiful, Spencer stands from the stool and rounds the kitchen counter to step in front of you. He wants to reach for your hands that you’re waving in the air to emphasize your point, but refrains. He’s still unsure about initiating physical contact. He rests his hands on the counter and clears his throat.

“I can certainly say it's not the way you are used to feeling. But the way I see you right now? I see beauty, power, and life. It's light what I see on you.”

You don’t know when tears started to roll down your cheeks. But hearing the adoration in Spencer’s words only spurs you to let out your emotions.

“You know my hormones have been doing a number on me, right? You’re not helping,” you complain, chuckling. After handing Spencer his tea, you take yours and walk to the living room.

You carefully sit on the couch and reach for the blanket in the back to cover your lower half. Spencer mimics your actions, sitting as well on the couch, but at a safe distance from you.

A silence envelops the room. Your hand plays with the strands at the end of the blanket, and your eyes scrutiny Spencer’s face. He looks tired, with prominent circles under his eyes, and stubble for days of no shaving.

He is analyzing you too. Even if your eyes denote exhaustion, he can see the strength that makes you look put together despite everything that has been going on.

He can see the protectiveness too. Rubbing your belly in soothing motions, shielding your non-born child from the unknown, the uncertain.

How much he would have given to be the one who could have protected you and the baby from the first minute.

“I guess you have questions,” you prompt. “But I have mine too, so if you don’t mind,” you trail off and Spencer understands what you want. He nods, preparing himself to answer whatever question you have. After a pause to collect your thoughts, you start to speak again.

“What really happened in that warehouse? Why you didn't let me go inside with you?”

You are talking about the day Spencer was shot and beaten for the unsub. The day he ended up at the hospital just to be declared dead hours after.

“I thought if we didn't split we could lose him. We were so close so many times. I thought it was our last chance. It never occurred to me it was a trap. That he wanted me there alone. I just didn't see it,” Spencer swallowed hard, remembering that day. You stayed in silence, waiting for him to continue.

“I heard his voice telling me he had you, and I panicked. So I ran to him. I let my guard down. When I realized he was lying it was too late.”

“But you launched at him. Why didn't you try to stall him first?” You asked, leaving your mug on the coffee table, feeling the suddenly urge to protect yourself with your arms around you. You never talked about what really happened with anyone. Not even to Hotch when he questioned you during the FBI investigation of the incident.

The way Spencer reacted with the unsub is something you never understood. The profile said the unsub was a guy who liked to show off, so trying to incite him to do that while waiting for backup would have been reasonable.

“The way he laughed. Maybe sounds stupid, but- I saw the resolve of an end game, and not like the typical bragging-end game, it was an evil-end game. He had the upper hand and he knew it. If I didn't do something first, he would have gone after you. And I couldn't let that happen. I didn't count on the hidden gun, though. Another mistake,” he breaths out.

You remember like it was yesterday rushing to the warehouse after hearing two gunshots. Once inside you saw Spencer lying on the floor, in a pool of blood.

“You were there and I didn't know what to do,” you recount your side of the story. “It was the worst nightmare. I screamed for help and it felt like an eternity before someone came to us. And your eyes-” You stop for a second, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. “You - you were saying goodbye and I wasn’t ready.”

Your resolve from earlier seems to crumble as you revisit what happened in that warehouse. Tears are now rolling down your cheeks, and you bite your bottom lip to stop their quivering.

Spencer wants to hold you, but he’s afraid of how you would react, so tentatively rests his hand on your knee. You are shaking and he’s worried this conversation could do more harm than good.

“We can stop. You are not feeling okay,” he points out. But despite Spencer's apprehensions, this conversation must happen now.

“I need to get this out of my chest. Please, let me do this. I know you need it too.”

Spencer knows you are right. You both need this.

“Do you remember anything after the shots?” you ask, and Spencer thinks for a moment.

“I remember being there, the sharp pain in the chest and my ribs. But most of it is a blur. I remember seeing you there. Crying. God. I hated seeing you cry. I think you held my hand?”

You nodded. “I was so scared, but with you there, I wasn’t anymore. The last thing I remember it’s the guilt of not saying I love you for the last time. I really thought it was the end for me,” he admits, his own tears blurring his sight.

“It was for me, though,” you mumbled, a sad look in your eyes. “I mean, I still had hopes when you were moved to the hospital, but deep down I knew I shouldn’t have had them. And everything shattered when JJ came to the waiting room and told us you didn't make it.”

A heavy sigh escapes from Spencer’s lips. Neither JJ nor Hotch had told him how they let it know the team he was ‘gone.’

“I can’t even imagine - It was unfair to you. And I know no matter what I say it won’t make it better.”

Your thoughts wander to the moment after you heard JJ saying Spencer was dead.

Disbelief. Pain. Denial.

And then, days of numbness.

“You know. I just shut off. I have some flashbacks. Rossi hugging me; Hotch telling me to take all the time I needed; Morgan crying with me.”

It feels weird to recall those memories as yours, like an alternative universe that turned different at the end.

“Where did you go?” Spencer asks. The thought of you in the apartment alone after that breaks his heart.

“Emily took me to her place because I couldn't put a foot here. I stayed with her for a couple of days. She helped me a lot to get through this,” you recognize. And for that, you will always be grateful to her.

You also tell Spencer about how the whole team helped you to make it through the days. Some kind of relief washes over him knowing you didn't face it alone.

He can’t fathom how difficult it was for you, also knowing you were pregnant. And about that...

“When did you find out?” He asks, eyes darting to your belly. You follow his gaze trajectory and a little smile creps on your face.

“Almost a month later. I was feeling sick all the time. Emily pushed me to get checked. They took blood tests and stuff. When they told me I couldn't believe it. For me, it was a twisted joke,” you admit, hanging your head low.

Spencer dreads asking the next question but you already know what is, so you keep talking.

“Yes. I had thought about it. I didn't feel in a good place to be a mom, Spencer. I barely could make it through the days. And having a baby? Fuck, just thinking about it was too much.”

You tell him about how you cried your eyes out. How lost you felt for days. The doubts about the future, but above everything, the protectiveness that aroused in you once the idea settled. Yeah, you couldn’t keep Spencer safe, but you were determined to save the part of him growing in you.

“And seven months later, here I am. About to give birth to our baby,” you conclude, lovingly rubbing your belly.

“It’s weird, you know?” Spencer begins. “The last time I saw you and now. It feels like I lost time. And I know I lost it. It’s just - I never expected to see things so changed. I don’t know how I fit here. What I’m saying doesn’t make any sense right now-” he trails off, darting his gaze to the fidgeting hands on his lap.

He’s been holding back. You notice. Since you both crossed the threshold he has been afraid of invading your personal space, of touching you. Now it makes sense.

“That's why you have been keeping your distance from me?” you ask. Spencer’s eyes quickly flash to you. Guilt is written on his face.

“What?”

Your gaze soften seeing him so stressed by being caught. It's true the past months have been tough for you, but they have been tough for him too. And to see a before and an after so different probably has him reeling.

“Since we put a foot in this apartment you have kept a safe distance. I’m not judging you, I really don’t. I just want to know what’s on your mind right now,” you explain, shifting on the couch to change your position. With an eight-month belly is difficult to be comfy in any position.

Spencer sighs. There are so many things revolving inside his brain that it’s not easy to put them in words.

“When I woke up in a hospital bed in Bethesda, the first thing I looked for was if you were there. But I was alone. A strange feeling squeezed my chest. For a moment I thought -” he pauses to take a breath. “I thought everything had gone wrong and the unsub had hurt you or the team, or both. I was about to freak out when a marshal came and explained to me what happened.”

Spencer recounts how the agent told him about his new destination and how this assignment was for an undetermined time.

“Since then, not a single day passed without the urge to take a plane and come back. To you. But what if I messed up putting you at risk doing so? It was insane to know I was dead for you and I couldn't do anything to fix it.”

“That's why you wrote the letters?” Spencer nodded. In a notepad, he wrote a letter to you every single day since he landed in Paris. He handed you the notepad at the BAU this afternoon before you stormed out, completely shaken and confused.

“I needed to put in words each day without you. I needed to tell you I was there, even if you never could read it.”

His shaky breath forces him to take some seconds to compose himself. You took that as your cue. Shifting again, you scoot a bit closer to him and reach tentatively for his hand, and he clings to it as if his life depended on it.

“And I’m here right now. And so do you,” you squeeze his hand reassuringly. “I’m as scared as you are, but we need to do something to get through this. If it is something you want to do,” you add. Spencer's glassy eyes find yours.

“It's all I want. Maybe it's hard for me to understand I can’t fix something like this, but I want a chance to make us work again. I know I can’t get back time, but if you let me I want to gain back the place I lost the day I gone.”

Spencer’s free hand flies to your cheek to wipe with his thumb the tears you haven’t noticed are falling.

“We can start with something,” you prompt, reaching for a folder resting at the coffee table. After opening it, you produce a bunch of ultrasound pictures and hand them to him. From the first appointment you had, to the last one from a week ago.

Spencer’s eyes sparkle with excitement, seeing every detail and the way the baby has grown in the past months.

Tears fall freely and there is pure emotion that fills his heart.

So many nights you both spent talking about what it would be like to have a baby. How wonderful it would be to see them grow. About what traits they would inherit from each of you.

You smile at the scene unfolding in front of your eyes. It feels so good to see in him the same excitement you have. You both wanted this. And until today you thought only you would get the chance to experience it.

After inspecting and committing to memory each detail from each pic, Spencer’s eyes find yours again.

“Do you know the baby’s-” he trails off. He’s unsure, maybe you didn't want to know or want him to know.

You have known the baby’s gender for a while now but have not told to anyone. From the same folder, you extract an envelope you offer to him. With trembling hands, Spencer takes it and gets the paper from inside. Scanning the words he realizes it is the information of your baby’s gender.

“It's - it's a girl,” he reads aloud with a cracking voice and more tears in his eyes. You nod, your own tears clouding your vision.

“Yes. Do you remember when we talked about having a baby and you told me you wanted a girl? When I found out the gender, I thought about how happy you would have been,” you sniffle, and Spencer reaches for you, now wrapping you in a loving embrace.

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” he repeats over and over, kissing your temple. You close your eyes, losing yourself in his chest, inhaling his scent.

You stay like this for a moment. Contently in each other arms. Spencer still can’t believe he got the chance to hold you again, and you are still assimilating the day’s events. It's unbelievable how everything changed in less than twenty-four hours.

“I love you,” he mumbles in your hair, a hand moving to rub your belly. “And I love you,” he says now, talking to your baby.

“We love you too, Spencer,” you respond, voice thick with emotion. “I never stopped, and we will never stop.”

Parting from your embrace, you get lost in each other's eyes. Communicating without words what this moment means to both of you. Cupping your face, Spencer leans to find your lips with his in a loving kiss. You kiss him back, pouring all your feelings.

It's a new promise of love.

After breaking the kiss, he presses his forehead to yours.

“Will we be okay?” he asks, almost in a whisper.

“From now on, we will be,” you assure him. It feels like you are telling this to yourself too. Maybe you do. Everything still looks messy right now, but life is giving you a second chance, and neither Spencer nor you is willing to let it go.

-----

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid angt #spencer reid hurt/comfort #seven months #from now on #amanda perry williams #aperrywilliams

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babydollmarauders · 6 months

Text

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOLED GIRL — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n goes on a date with Jack and thinks she made a complete fool of herself

notes: obviously inspired by Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl by Olivia Rodrigo, not proofread and written on extreme sleepiness. (3.6k words)

third dates.

my mother always told me to have them in group settings.

she said the first date is to get to know each other; the second is to learn how he’d treat you in private; the third date is to learn how he’d treat you in front of his friends.

most guys seem to get intimidated when i ask about joining a hang out with his friends for the third date, but Jack was different. i had told Jack on our first about my rules.

first date in a public setting, but alone.

second date in private, his apartment or mine.

third date with a group of friends.

i hadn’t expected him to take it so well, nodding along as though even without context, it made sense. he didn’t ask for clarification, which was good because i had learned after my last relationship not to give any; lest they’ll act like a gentlemen in front of their friends until we start dating.

i honestly didn’t expect Jack to contact me again, fully awaiting the discovery that he’d ghosted me, possibly even blocked me to keep me from talking to him again. but then he texted me tonight.

“i know it’s last minute, but third date tonight? me and some guys from the team are going for drinks, would you wanna come?”

and now here i am, walking into a pretty secluded bar to meet Jack and about half a dozen other professional hockey players. to say i’m nervous would be a massive understatement.

i spent at least half an hour trying on various outfits, but nothing felt right. every article of clothing i tried on had something wrong with it; whether it be that it didn’t fit quite right, or it didn’t match the occasion, or i just deemed it didn’t look good on me, something was always wrong. so i finally settled on a nice sundress, despite the chilled air of the evening.

“y/n!” my head turns in search of the voice that called my name, locking eyes with Jack, where he sits at a high top table with five other guys. “i was starting to think you’d stood me up!”

my eyebrows furrow as i walk over to him, stopping at the end of the table. my stomach ties in knots at all of the eyes on me. i hate attention.

“why would i do that?” a few of the guys chuckle at my question, but i’m not sure i understand what’s so funny.

“i was joking.” Jack clarifies.

oh.

embarrassment washes over me and i can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, but Jack just smiles sweetly, rising to his feet and pulling out the chair beside him.

“oh, thank you.” i take a seat and he returns to his, his hand settling on my knee as one of the guys begin to speak.

“so, you’re y/n?” my eyes go wide, and i glance over at Jack but he’s looking over at the other guy. “i’m Luke.”

“nice to meet you, Luke.” i give the curly headed boy a tight smile, “so, you play with Jack?”

the boy grins, nodding his head, “i guess you could say that.”

everyone snickers, and i fear i’ve made a mistake of some sort. my blood runs cold; i hate feeling like i’m on the outside of some giant inside joke.

maybe this was a mistake.

Jack squeezes my knee, and i look over at him with subtly pleading eyes, silently begging for him to save me.

“Luke is my younger brother, but he does play on the team with me.” there it is. that’s where i messed up.

“oh, i’m sorry.” i’m not sure what i’m apologizing for, but it seems like the right thing to do. i glance back at Luke, “i knew Jack had mentioned your name before but, he’s mentioned so many names that at this point they all jumble together in my head.”

Luke just shakes his head, waving it off. “nah, don’t worry, it’s okay.”

after that, i decide it’s better to go quiet; only really speaking when spoken to. i can’t embarrass myself if i’m not saying anything.

“hey.” Jack’s voice is soft, and at first, i don’t even realize he’s talking to me, until i tear my eyes from who i now know as Dawson, who’s telling a story with wildly gesturing hands. “do you wanna go get a drink?”

he nods his head over towards the bar, and i nod, desperately in need of something to ease my nerves, “yes, please.”

Jack and i rise from our seats, his hand going to my lower back to stabilize me as i stumble. my cheeks go red, but i decide it’s better not to acknowledge my clumsiness.

“and i— where are you guys going?” Dawson cuts himself off, drawing attention to Jack and i’s retreating pair. “did i bore you, y/n?”

i stop in my tracks, freezing up as guilt takes over me.

“i- what? n-no! Jack-” i stumble over my words in a panic, attempting to reassure him, but apparently i didn’t help my case.

“see, Merc! poor y/n even finds your story stupid.” John laughs and i shake my head wildly.

“no! i found it interesting!” Nico snickers at my words, his hand coming up to cover his mouth.

“interesting. that’s one way of putting it.”

oh god, i made it worse.

“guys, leave her alone.” Jack speaks up, rolling his eyes at his friends before he turns back to me. “c’mon, ignore them, they’re just raggin’ on you.”

my brows thread together in confusion, but i nod nonetheless, allowing him to use his hand that still rests on my back to guide me over to the bar.

“i’m sorry about them.” he sighs as we reach the counter, waiting for a bartender. “they have a stupid sense of humor.”

“no! no, it’s fine!” i assure him.

it’s not them, it’s me.

i’ve never been great at picking up on social cues, perhaps due to my odd lifestyle as a child.

when the bartender reaches us, Jack orders another beer before looking over at me, “oh, can i just get an aperol spritz, please?”

Jack hands over his card and when he gets it back he turns to me.

“i gotta run to the bathroom, are you okay waiting for the drinks? i’ll be back in a second.” i nod and he takes off towards the restroom, leaving me alone.

“so, you like him?” apparently not alone for long.

i turn my head in surprise, only to find Luke standing beside me. he asks the bartender who arrives back with Jack and i’s drinks for another beer and the man nods.

“hmm? Jack?” Luke nods and i smile looking down into my glass. “yeah, i really like him.”

“see, i said so!” my face scrunched in confusion as i look back at him.

“you said so?” i question.

“yeah! Johnny was trying to say you must not like him because you aren’t being very flirty, but i told him- i said you obviously like him if you’re on a third date.”

flirting.

i’ve never been great at that. and i haven’t needed to be, Jack is the one who approached me first, he’s the one who asked me out and he hasn’t given any indication that i have any reason to have to flirt to keep his attention.

“oh.”

Luke pays for his beer before retreating back to the table with a low “see you in a few.”

i’m quick to tear my phone out of my pocket, glancing over towards the restrooms for a moment to make sure my date isn’t coming back before making a quick google search.

this seems impossible.

“hey.” Jack reappears beside me and i hastily lock my phone, looking up at him as i go to slide it back into my pocket. but the combination of my fidgety hands, quick movements, and not paying attention to my surroundings doesn’t end well.

before i can even blink, my hand is knocking into my glass, the drink sliding off the bar top and onto the floor, shattering upon impact.

“oh my god!” i squeal, jumping back from the broken shards. i glance down at the mess before looking back up at Jack. “i am so sorry!”

i turn to the waitress who comes rushing towards us with a broom and towels, apologizing profusely and offering to clean it up myself.

“it’s no problem, happens all the time.” she tells me with a smile, but i still bury my face in my hands.

i’m making a fool of myself.

“can we get another aperol spritz?” i peek through my eyes at the sound of Jack’s voice, watching as he hands the bartender his card again.

“i am so sorry, Jack.” my voice is low and whimpered, my shoulders rising as though to protect myself. “i just wasted your money and made a huge mess.”

Jack smiles softly, shaking his head as he chuckles, “don’t worry about it. it’s seriously okay, y/n. accidents happen, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

i nod, but i truly feel horrible now.

this was a mistake. i should’ve just stayed home; watched a cheesy romance or read a true crime novel and gone to bed early.

the bartender hands me the new drink, and i thank him before Jack leads me back to the table.

“everything okay?” Timo questions as we return and Jack just nods as we settle back in our seats.

“yeah, just a little accident. it’s all good.” the guys chuckle but all turn back to their previous conversation, somehow now on the topic of the wildest things they did in school.

i stay silent, hoping and praying to any higher power that they don’t involve me in this conversation, but my luck runs out pretty quickly. although i’m not sure i’ve had any tonight in the first place.

“what about you, y/n?” Nico is the one to rope me in, “what’s the wildest thing you did in school?”

“i- uh-” i internally cringe, mentally preparing myself for their jokes, “i was homeschooled. so, i didn’t really get to do anything crazy like you guys.”

“ohh, you’re a homeschool kid.” Luke nods as if it makes sense.

“did you know that statistically speaking, homeschoolers are more likely to graduate than public schoolers?” John pipes up, and i shake my head.

“really?” Jack questions, his nose scrunched cutely in disbelief.

“no, i- uh, i didn’t know that.” John nods at my words.

“yeah, look it up!” he points to my phone, which never actually made it to my pocket after the broken glass fiasco and now resides face down on the table.

i pick it up and Jack and Dawson, who both reside on either respective side of me, lean in to see my phone screen, eager to find out whether their teammate is correct.

but when i unlock my phone, my eyes grow wide and i’m eagerly attempting to swipe out of the current window, but it’s as if the world is against me because this is the exact moment that my phone screen decides to freeze.

“does that say ‘how to flirt?’” Dawson chuckles and i bite my lip, giving up and slamming my phone face down onto my lap as the table bursts into laughter.

i’m blushing like a mad woman, squeezing my eyes shut as i bury my face into my hands for the second time that night.

“aww y/n, you really let John get to you, huh?” Luke teases, and i feel like i could cry of embarrassment.

everything i do is tragic.

suddenly my seat is moving, scooting further to my right, before an arm is spindling around my waist. i let my hands lower just slightly to peer up at Jack, who wears a happy grin, his cheeks tinged pink.

he glances down at me, smiling even wider when he sees that i’m already looking at him.

it’s like a cat’s got my tongue, too stunned by the overwhelming mortification of the situation to even get a word out to explain or defend myself.

but Jack doesn’t seem to mind, pulling me into his body until my head is against his collarbone as he changes the subject; bringing up a story about he and his older brother trying to free an infant Luke from his crib when they were younger.

i’m quiet as the group speaks, most of them speaking over each other, which in turn makes others get louder to try and be heard. my head aches and i need a break.

“i’m gonna go to the bathroom.” i whisper, freeing myself from Jack’s hold as he nods in understanding.

“okay. are you okay?” i give him a small smile, reassuring him that i’m fine before i leave.

my hands rest upon the bathroom sink, my eyes glaring into my reflection in the wonky bar mirror.

“get it together.” i try and tell myself, but it comes out in more of a whine.

why am i like this?

i run my hands through my hair, making sure it’s volumized, and heave out a sigh before i make my way back out of the restroom to join the table again.

on my way back, i can’t help but smile at the sight of Jack laughing with his friends.

he seems so carefree.

but i should’ve been watching where i was going, because halfway to the table, i’m tripping over someone’s heeled foot, landing on my knee on the hard ground.

“oh shit!” Jack’s voice echoes over the loudness of the music and bar-goers, and i can hear multiple chairs screech across the floor. “y/n, are you okay?”

oh god, i wanna curl up and die.

“yeah, i’m fine.” my voice is wavering and weak, so over making an idiot of myself tonight.

Jack appears in front of me, holding his hands out to help me up. his skin is soft as i slide my hands into his, allowing him to pull me up to my feet.

his friends stand behind him, a couple biting back laughs, but the others wide eyed in concern.

i let Jack guide me back to the table, and when i sit down, he’s kneeling in front of me, inspecting my knee for any immediate bruising or marks.

i sigh and he looks up at me, worry settled into his expression.

“that was a hell of a tumble.” Timo snickers, but he sobers up quickly as his eyes meet Jack’s, “you’re okay though, right?”

“physically? yes. mentally? questionable.” the table laughs, but i didn’t mean to joke, which only makes me press my lips together.

Jack finally deems my knee okay, settling back into his seat and letting his arm rest over the back of my chair.

“what were we talking about?” Jack asks, effectively diverting the attention away from my fall and back to the conversation from while i was gone.

“cheating.” John states, taking a sip from his beer.

i let out a little laugh, thinking he was just joking, but i sober up as i realize nobody else is.

“oh, you were serious.” i bite my lip as he nods.

“right!” Luke exclaims, “so people are saying he cheated on her?”

“yeah,” Dawson nods, and i’m a bit lost, “which i don’t understand, because all he did was hold hands with the other girl. we don’t know anything other than that. holding hands could have so many different meanings.”

i take a big gulp of my drink, listening intently as the guys debate cheating and what counts as cheating.

“i think, if one of you guys cheated on your girlfriend, i might ‘accidentally’ knock your teeth out on the ice.” Nico tells them, making the guys and i laugh. “i’m serious, you’d be bag skating until you physically drop from exhaustion.”

and like word vomit, before i can stop myself, i’m speaking, “my friend recently cheated on her boyfriend, and i can’t tell if i should tell him or let him find out on his own.”

their heads turn to me and i shrink in my seat as i realize what just escaped my lips.

“oh my god, i’m not supposed to be telling that to anyone.” my hand covers my mouth, and a few of the guys laugh at my actions.

“you should definitely tell him.” John shrugs, “he deserves to know.”

“i thought so too, but if i do tell him, does that make me a horrible friend?” the guys all start shouting different things along the same lines.

some telling me it doesn’t make me a bad friend, while others telling me that i shouldn’t be friends with her anymore anyways.

“has she done anything else?” Luke asks, and i scrunch my nose.

“cheating wise, no: just one drunken kiss with some guy.” i start. “but she told him she was sick to get out of meeting his parents.”

i clap my hand over my mouth again, shocked that these secrets are just tumbling out of me.

“fuck, i shouldn’t be telling you guys these things.”

the guys cackle and Dawson changes the subject, apparently just remembering a story of something that happened to him back home over the summer.

i remain quiet for the next fifteen or so minutes, just listening as the guys go back and forth, telling stories of their summers, until i feel Jack’s hand on my shoulder.

“hey, i’m heading home, do you want me to drop you off at your house?”

i eagerly accept his offer, happily willing to leave now and avoid paying for an uber during surge pricing. the both of us bid goodbye to his teammates and his brother, who says he’ll hitch a ride back to the apartment with Dawson, before we head out to his car.

i smile as he opens the car door for me, allowing me to climb in before he shuts the door again and jogs around the front of the car, slipping into the drivers side.

i don’t need to give him my address, our second date having been at my apartment, so i just clasp my hands tightly together in my lap, both of his on his steering wheel.

“i had fun tonight.” he tells me as we pull up to my apartment building.

“yeah, your friends are nice.”

not a complete lie. they are nice, i’m just not sure i got along with them, or more so, that they liked me.

“can i walk you up?” i accept his request and he exits the car, running around it to open my door before i get the chance to.

i mentally prepare myself on the silent elevator up to my apartment, readying myself to have him tell me that he doesn’t think we fit.

i was awkward tonight, breaking a glass, stumbling over my words, tripping, googling things that should be common knowledge, and telling secrets i had no business telling.

i couldn’t think of any worse ways to ruin a potential relationship.

when we reach my apartment, Jack stops me in front of my door, and before he gets the chance to belittle my dignity any further than i, myself, already have, i’m speaking up.

“i completely understand if you don’t wanna continue this.” i sigh, finding sudden interest in my shoes. “i made a complete fool of myself tonight.”

“why would you think i don’t wanna see you again?” he sounds hurt, his finger hooking under my chin and pulling my head up to look at him.

i chuckle lowly, “you can’t take me anywhere. every time i go out, it’s social suicide.”

“so you’re a bit clumsy and you need time to click with my friends and their humor, so what?” he shrugs, “i think you’re cute. and i’m incredibly honored that you wanted to flirt with me.”

i groan, my face flushing, and i tip my head back to look up at the ceiling.

“oh god, that was so embarrassing.” i whine.

“it was sweet.” Jack chuckles, pulling me into his chest. his arms wrap around me and i melt into his embrace, his chin resting on top of my head.

“i really like you, y/n. and tonight may not have gone the way you would’ve liked, and i can respect that, you’re allowed to feel that way, but i really liked it. i got a chance to figure out more about you and what you’re like, and it only solidified that i’d really like to keep getting to know you, see where this could lead.”

my head snaps up to look him in the eyes, “you would?”

he giggles at my actions, nodding his head. “yeah, i would.”

his head dips down and i suck in a breath as his lips near mine.

“can i kiss you?” he questions, and i nod.

“yes, please.”

his lips slot against mine, moving in sync and pulling me even closer to him if it’s possible. his hands slide up to cup the back of my neck, his tongue tracing my bottom lip and i part my lips to allow him entrance.

what starts slow and passionate, turns into something hot and heavy. i huff as he pulls away, my lips chasing after his and making him smile.

“do you wanna come inside?” i ask him, my voice low and sultry, and his eyes darken almost instantly.

he smirks, answering only by taking my keys from my hands and unlocking my door, leading me into my own apartment.

“ya know, i don’t think you needed that google search. you’re pretty good at luring me in all on your own.”

#jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes fic #jack hughes blurb #nj devils #nhl imagine #nhl fic #faithlynn’s writings <3

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akystaracer22 · 3 months

Text

Maybe in Another Life We Would Hate Each Other a Little Less

A chance encounter sheds a little light on Adam that Lucifer couldn't have predicted, leading to a moment he thought he'd never have with the man.

Notes (Aka my thoughts while writing):

God is a dick and I wanna kill xem

Adam folds his wings like a bird because monkey see monkey do

Both these guys were traumatised by the same person and we don’t talk about it enough

Probably Guitarduck/Adamsapple but in a fledgeling platonic kinda way

Refer to my ref for what Adam looks like!

I listened to Rät while writing this and- it kind of fits Adam???

Jesus is God’s favourite child and it fucking shows

How tf did this become a sickfic????

Lucifer gets the experience of being me whenever I make the impulsive move to boot up Char.ai and talk to literally any of the AI’s, get aunt agonied bitch.

Oh my god Adam has middle child syndrome.

Can you tell I attended a Christian school when I was younger???

Adam was hiding just how fucked over he was from the wing rot but he’s not having a good time in this. Most of the latter half of the oneshot is him dazed from both the one set of wing rot and the feeling of someone touching his wing.

Shit emergency wing HC for Adam ig: His wings grow warmer corresponding to his mood, as in when he is in general happier his wings radiate warmth and when he’s in a foul mood they’re just normal or even a little cooler.

In saying that yes Lucifer’s wings glow when he’s happy

Word Count: 1902

Fic under cut!

“Fucking- Shit!”

Lucifer paused, looking behind him and backing up to peek through the crack in the door. This ought to be good.

Sure enough, he was right, this was entertaining.

Adam was ranting again.

Honestly it was a nearly daily thing by this point, probably the only good thing about his daughters decision to let Adam stay at the hotel. He loved his daughter, he really did, by Adam was… Adam.

Lucifer knew he was a lost cause.

But still, didn’t mean Lucifer couldn’t tease the hell out of the man since he was stuck down here with the rest of them.

Lucifer’s smirk at watching the first man rant quickly died as he took in the guys appearance, he looked…

“What is wrong with your wings.”

Adam jerked and twisted around, scowling at him and oops he said that out loud didn’t he.

“Piss off!”

Lucifer, in his typical fashion, did not piss off and instead entered the room, “No seriously what is wrong with your wings.”

Now that he was closer, the king was certain they didn’t look like that a week ago. The feathers, while already having looked like a wreck were duller and the colours seemed almost… muted. Ignoring the already horrific state Adam’s wing were in, they shouldn’t look THAT bad so why…

“Wait-”

“I said-!”

“Have you not been preening you wings?”

Adam went silent, staring wide eyed at Lucifer much to the kings confusion. A beat passed, then two.

“What the fuck is preening?”

Lucifer blinked, he wasn’t serious, was he?

Surely not.

“By the heavens you’re dead serious.”

“What the fuck are you talking about.”

Lucifer debated whether he should explain it or not. On one hand, it’s Adam. On the other, Wings were a serious thing. He’d even seen Husker cleaning his wings from time to time, for Adam to just not know…

“You know what? For once my hatred of you is outweighed by my need to show you what’s what,” The fallen seraphim huffed, closing the door behind him and summoning a chair to block it from the outside so Adam couldn’t escape. “Come on we’re fixing this travesty.”

“What part of fuck off you do you not understand?!” The first man snapped, his wings mantling as Lucifer rifled through the closet, dragging out one of the many jars of oil he’d had the foresight to put in most of the rooms, perks of being a guy with basic common sense.

“The part where you’re being stupid and my daughter started rubbing off on me,” Lucifer shot back, his own wings serving well to corral Adam towards the bed, “How you don’t know how to preen your wings is beyond me but that’s ending today.”

“Again- what are you blabbering about.”

Lucifer paused, hand hovering just over Adams feathers. Preening someone elses wings was… intimate. It was something reserved for friends, family, lovers, and stuff… not enemies. Was he really going to just go ahead and clean Adams wings for him?

The seraphim’s eyes flicked over to where the ruined wing was draped over the bed. The wing was already in bad enough shape as it was, if he didn’t do this then wing rot was bound to hit it at some point and-

He didn’t really have a choice, not if he didn’t want to watch someone die of wing rot again.

Adam went stiff under Lucifers touch as he started work on the mans functioning wing, it was the easiest to work with, not the mention the safest to start with. The injured wing would no doubt be sensitive to any interaction, so better to start small.

Ish.

Adam shuddered as Lucifer moved between feather’s, periodically reapplying preening oil as he went. He was right as usual, looking closer most of the barbules had been separated and needed to be locked together again. Grimacing, the seraphim gently scratched out what looked like dried blood from where it was hidden in the base of Adam’s Secondary coverts.

“What are you doing?” Adam whispered, his voice for once lacking it’s usual bite. Lucifer paused for a second in confusion before Adam’s wing flexed back into Lucifer’s hand, “Don’t stop!”

“Okay okay!” The king huffed, working on his primaries, “What I’m doing is called preening. It’s something beings with feathers do to clean them.”

“Like birds?”

“Yeah, like birds,” Lucifer agreed, “The oil helps take care of bacteria, but you got to realign the feathers, get rid of the ones ready to moult, and fix the feathers that are out of sorts, though you can just shake the feathers to do that part quicker.”

“Mhm”

Lucifer shifted over to finally tackle the ruined wing and froze, a chill slinking down his spine. As he took in the state of the tattered appendage.

“Shit.”

This close the seraphim could see the red pimples under the thinning layer of feathers surrounding the injury, it was wing rot in its early stages.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Lucifer dove his fingers into the scapulars to shut Adam up while he discreetly conjured up some disinfectant for the rot, if he’s lucky he can treat it now and just get Charlie or Vaggie to deal with it now, knock it over the head before it becomes so visible the others can notice. He ignored Adam’s breath hitching as the seraphim started, just as predicted, the wing was sensitive from the damage done to it.

“But seriously you need to do this more, this is just horrific,” Lucifer grumbled to himself, not really caring if Adam listened, “Honestly I’m surprised this hasn’t happened to you before!”

“Mmmm tried once… I think?”

Lucifer, glanced at Adam’s face, it was pointed away from him, but he could still sense Adam’s attention was on him, “Yeah?”

“Saw the birds doin’ it and tried to copy ‘em,” Adam continued at the prompt, spreading his other wing, “It hurt so I stopped, didn’ know there was a method to this shit or someth’n.”

“You… nobody even tried to teach you?”

“I think they thought I knew,” Adam chuckled sourly, “I think they thought I fu’kin knew how to just- do this. ‘Cause I was meant to right?!” Another laugh, “I bit the fu’kin apple so I shou’da known this kinda shit! Apple of knowl’dge or what’ver.”

Lucifer, wisely, didn’t say anything, he just kept working on Adam’s ruined wing, applying the disinfectant, and fixing what few feathers were still healthy and removing the rest. If it was anyone else in this situation he’s wrap the wing and tell them to rest but… it was still Adam that was in this mess.

“I- why didn’t they teach me? Luci why didn’t they teach me this shit?”

“I… don’t know,” Lucifer replied carefully, deliberately skipping over the butchering of his name that sounded way to close to a nickname for comfort, “Come on, up you get he still got the underside to finish then I’ll be out.”

Adam grumbled but complied, sitting up a little to turn around as Lucifer summoned a pillow for Adam to lean back on. Rolling his neck Lucifer got to work on the auxiliary feathers, the lighter feathers were definitely in better shape, but then again that wasn’t exactly a high bar, and they still were looking rough.

“Jesus was prob’bly taught how to preen himself.”

Lucifer’s shoulders hitched as his wings tucked in against his back abruptly. Jesus… was a rough topic. For all sinners talked about him, Lucifer never met him but from the sinners around that time… it was never a fun conversation. Pretentious once kings cursing his name while hopeless commoners lined up for the exorcists blade, faithful until the end that Jesus would let them into heaven if they just believed in him.

… there was a pattern in there, wasn’t there. Like father like son, he supposed.

“Jesus was made from me and yet he’s God’s favourite fukin kid, course he’d fucking know how to preen,” Adam continued unimpeded, “Doesn’t matter if I was Gods first- Jesus was always fucking better than me.”

Okay! Lucifer was in no way prepared for this conversation, but he highly doubted Adam was even going to remember this conversation, so he just focused on the wings.

“…Luci, do they all hate me?”

Lucifer sincerely wished Anthony, or just anyone really would bust down the door at this moment, at least then he could get himself out of this conversation.

“Why do you think that?” the seraphim deflected, moving onto Adam’s good wing and going through his coverts.

“Because none of them ever fucking did this,” Adam waved his hand haphazardly before letting it rest on his chest, “You’re my enemy but you’re fixin’ my fu’kin wings because I’m too stupid and useless to just figure it out myself.”

“Not useless,” The words left Lucifer’s lips without his input, damn himself to double hell, but it managed to shut up Adam, so he kept on the thought train, “You’re not useless you were just never taught, it’s not your fault heaven doesn’t think.”

“Jesus-”

“Is God’s prodigal son and shouldn’t be counted.”

Adam huffed and leaned back on the pillow, “Why’re you good at this?”

“I’ve had aeon’s to learn, and over a decade of putting it in practice,” Lucifer thought about his daughter, a small smile making it’s way into his expression, she really was the best thing to happen to him.

He finished up with Adams good wing and moved onto finishing off the wrecked one. Applying the disinfectant to the infected spots on the underside before reaching for the preening oil again.

“Y’know, maybe in another life we would’ve hated each other less.”

Lucifer just laughed and started preening the wing, yeah right, maybe in a reality where the apple incident never happened, “You’re sick Adam, feverish even.”

“And you’re a wife-stealer.”

“Should have been better in bed.”

“Fuck you,”

Lucifer stuck his tongue out at the first man, earning a tired chuckle. Then the seraphim blinked at the sudden warmth radiating out from the feathers. What in the-?

“Oh… they haven’t done that in a while.”

Lucifer blinked up at Adam who was staring at his feathers in amazement, “Ackde-whuh?”

Adam leaned back and closed his eyes, “Yeah… sometimes they just get warm all of a sudden it’s weird. Hasn’t happened in a while though. Apparently it sometimes happened when Lute was around? I dunno why.”

Lucifer blinked a couple of times before letting out a small “huh” and running a hand through the ruined wing, it was definitely warmer.

Sighing, Lucifer let his hand fall away despite the wing chasing it, “Alright well your wings are definitely cleaner now, so I’ll be out of your hair now.”

The seraphim stood up to leave through the balcony, opening the window and almost stepping out when Adam called after him, still sounding exhausted.

“I can see why they left me for you.”

Lucifer paused, before smiling sardonically and looking back at Adam, who looked like he might have just passed out.

“Tell me that when you’re not delusional from illness and I might believe you.”

With that, Lucifer stepped out and left for his own room… though, if Adam woke up to a small plush duck on his nightstand, that was between Lucifer and the god that cast him down.

But there is one thing Lucifer will admit.

Maybe Charlie wasn't wrong about thinking Adam could be redeemed.

Pings:

@sleepy-hijinx @whatataha @cyborg0109 @birbisanon @legogator @overlord-rey @luckyburgerz @spiny-dogfishes @justakidicarus

#adam hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel fandom #guitarduck #platonic #written by an asexual #fluff #fallen angel adam #fallen angel #wing fic #angst #tw swearing #tw mentions of wing rot #i wrote this #I wrote with on four hours of sleep powered by caffeine and a cold #adamsapple #ashes to ashes dust to dust

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nyx-is-missing · 4 months

Note

Could u write one for clarisse where she's impressed with femR bc of how good she is at fighting and all and clarisse finds her incredibly attractive bc no one has challenged her the way R does?

And like a bit of pining until the two confess

Thank you!!

Breathtaking or taken

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader

Summary: when Clarisse finds a opponent worth of her, she is breathtaken.

Warnings: none really, just fluff, not a descriptive fight scene on sight cause mama dont know how to write that, so just fluff fluff, and mutual pining fluff

(Do i need to say its not proofread? No? Thank you)

Here is one of the main benefits of being a daughter of Athena, you'll know.

DIfferent from other gods, Athena will let your parent know it is her who they are talking to.

And if letting them know beforehand isnt enough, she will let them know when the baby is brought to them, and if your parent is smart enough to live up to her choice, you'll have time to learn a thing or two before being thrown into this world.

If your parent cares enough about you, you'll have time.

And sure as hell my mom cared.

Always the intelectual woman, historian, researcher, writter, my mom knew many things about ancient greece, she knew all the stories by heart, and she, of all people, knew what she needed to do, to preserve her only daughter, her sacred gift.

She teached me all i needed to learn without compromising myself, stories, languages, art...and fight.

Little girls my age were doing dance classes, were trying to be good enough for drama club, were playing tea party with their dolls or making a mess with their mom's make up.

Well...i.. i was doing martial arts, i was fencing, i had my face in a book every free time i got.

I always asked her about it, why was she so strict about never missing a fight leasson, her answer always made sense, there and now.

"The world is cruel, especially for little girls, someday i might not be all the time with you, someday, you'll fight your own battles, you need to be ready"

Every word, every single word is true.

And that is how i ended up here, in a arena of camp half blood, sparring with Clarisse, and winnig, by two points, yes, but winning.

It is clear nobody expected that from me, neither did she actually, i can see in her eyes.

Understandable, they expect Athena kids to be calm, find a solution, not fight her way out.

Honestly their looks dont bother me, i dont even think much of it, but Clarisse's looks, they got something more to them, like a kid who finally got the dog she really wanted.

"Aaand break time Clarrise, we'll continue this tomorrow, id like to enjoy the rest of my afternoon thank you"

I dropped the sword down and started to undo my armor while walking close to the exit.

"Wait wait wait, now? Already? C'mon i didnt even had time to figure out how do you do that... all of that"

She stood next to me, still holding her sword and honestly.. she was beautiful, yes she was sweaty now and yes she was mean to everyone but.. now...right now, she was beautiful, shining, in her element really, flushed cheeks and a smile she only had when with a sword in hand.

"I practice, ever since i was a kid, everyday, well expect in weekends but yeah, almost everyday... how do you do all that? You are good...-want some water?"

I offered her my bottle also motioning for her to walk with me, both wich she gladly accepted.

"I practice too...and i never said this to anyone but, you are good, great even, and look breathtaking"

We stop walking, we stop all actually.

"I look what, Clarisse?"

"Breathtaken- you look out of breath, do you want the water back?"

Ah.

Weeks later i found myself in the same scenario, sparring with Clarisse again, actually that is all i do when it comes to training, be with Clarisse

"C'mon curls, thats the best you've got? No need to go easy on me"

"Im not going easy, i already told you, you caught me distracted thats all- GIRL WIll YOU SUSH?"

She tried to block you with her sword, thankfully for her, a succeded attempt.

"How could i? You're so fun to mess with, gets all red n all"

"Oh you want to talk about getting red?"

In a moment i was on the floor, Clarisse on top of me, and i couldnt speak, all i could do was stare into her big brown eyes, who looked right into my soul.

"Cant speak anymore huh? Oh if you could see the red im seeing-"

Now this my ladies and gentlemen, this is what i call a shot of faith.

I raised my head a little and just..i kissed her, it was quick but I did it, and her face went blank.

"Now you are breathtaken Curls, how about that?"

"And you are still breathtaking"

Still?

Oh.

"You...like me Clarisse?"

"You didnt knew?"

Oh.

"....no..?"

"Would you walk away if i kissed you this time?"

"....no."

#fanfic #lesbian #clarisse pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse x reader #clarisse la rue

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neptuneiris · 9 months

Text

cardigan (epilogue) (2/2)

and I knew you'd come back to me, you'd come back to me

pairing: modern!aemond × best friend reader!

summary: being in love with your best friend since high school becomes a strong and unavoidable feeling. until it starts to become more difficult when you get to college and the two of you, especially him, meet new people.

word count: 9.9k

previous part •

thank you so much to all those beautiful people who read this story, it meant a lot to me all those comments full of love and emotion to read each chapter. i'm so sad that it's over, but you will always have the story here to read it whenever you want to.

we'll see you in the next stories, for now we'll give a moment to the end of cardigan, where i'll be anxious to read your opinions. again, thanks for everything, you guys are amazing!

"Can you give me some time, please?"

You had asked him that day, that day with tears still in your eyes and still hugging him, to which he had lowered his gaze to look at you, his gaze soft and understanding, nodding at the instant you asked him.

And you had explained your reasons.

"I-I need to think, Aemond. I-I don't know if I can... do-this... right now. I-I just... "you bite your lips, nervous and embarrassed, "I need some time, I-I need....

"Yes, of course," he assures you softly, "You don't need to ask me, you take it. Do what you think you need to do, I won't pressure you. I will respect your space and each of the decisions you make when you are ready, whatever they are, all right?" he observes you honestly, "Don't worry about me. Take all the time you need."

You nodded in his direction, thanking him with your gaze, to which he had left a soft kiss on your forehead and finally separates from you.

After that, it doesn't take him long to leave your room, to which you had closed your door, watching him walk away down the hallway, feeling something in your chest, a feeling you didn't know exactly what it was.

And he had felt it too as he walked away.

And still surprised and with a bewildered expression in your gaze, that day you still hadn't processed one hundred percent of everything that had happened.

That day you lay on your bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time, thinking about everything and at the same time about nothing. Until eventually you fell asleep.

And now three months have passed.

Three months have passed since the time Aemond showed up by surprise in your room once you came back from Highgarden and you both confessed your true feelings for each other.

Three months since you asked him for time and to this day you haven't seen him or talked to him again.

You still have him blocked from all your social media, so neither of you know what each other is doing, however, you both know that you are either for Helaena or for Aegon.

And as he promised, he hasn't been looking for you again, hasn't pressured you, and has given you your space. And you have also complied with clarifying your ideas and your feelings, what you really want and what is best for you.

However, you are still not done with that matter of yours.

You still have some thoughts here and there, also some mixed feelings and indecisions.

But it's not the only thing you think about, sometimes you can't even think about it because of college, your internship here at King's Landing and also because of your job at the boutique.

Fortunately you've been hired at the boutique that Helaena told you about and everything has been more than fine in your life in those two fields of school and financially.

But you still think about Aemond and the current situation with him.

You thought about asking someone for advice, your friends and even Helaena, but honestly... you want to make this decision by yourself, without anyone else's opinions about what you should or shouldn't do.

You would ask for advice if you didn't know what to do, but you are considering all points, the before and the now.

Until an extended weekend arrives with Monday and Tuesday off for holidays, so you have more time to think about him and yourself.

Your friends invite you to go out partying considering there will be a lot of them at the frat houses for the long weekend but you're not in the mood, plus you know he'll probably be there.

But once talking to Helaena when you went for coffee together, she herself told you that Aemond has been going more on the weekends to his parents' house.

And you're not avoiding him, in fact you've seen him a few times on campus, obviously because that platinum hair is so easy to spot. He hasn't seen you but every time you see him... it disturbs your thoughts a little.

That's why you'd rather not see him.

When on a Saturday afternoon, you head to your room with a basket of clean clothes coming from the laundry, you open the door and Vhagar watches you comfortably between your pillows start to hang the clean clothes in your closet.

And once you're done, you sit on your bed, grab your phone and go to Facebook, when the first post you see is from the weather in King's Landing, warning that a horrible storm will hit tonight and will last until Sunday afternoon, so they ask for precautions to all the population.

You quickly pull aside the curtain of your window and in the distance you see some black and gray clouds approaching, causing you to shiver.

When just at that moment, you get a message and when you look at the screen, you see that it's Aegon.

Egg🥚: hey little demon

Egg🥚: tomorrow we're going to dinner, hel, daeron and jace

Egg🥚: you know who isn't coming so what do you say 👀?

You watch the messages for a few seconds without replying and doing nothing, just watching them and nothing else.

And you don't know why but reading the "you know who" made you feel something in your chest, something that you don't even know, but that makes you feel and makes you think more about him.

You look around your room, remembering just how everything happened here, the last time you saw each other and everything you talked about. His feelings and how you reacted.

Again that strange feeling gets stronger in your chest, a pleasant but sharp pain that runs through your whole body and is… inexplicable.

And suddenly… you feel a need.

You look again through your window at the horrible storm that will start in a couple more hours and let out a long breath, pursing your lips.

Afterwards, you don't really know what's wrong with you, but at half past seven in the evening and only with hope and Vhagar in your arms you get out of the Uber and head to quickly enter the huge building.

The wind has already reached the city, a strong one announcing that it will rain soon.

Your hair is flying in all directions, Vhagar is fidgeting in your arms and as you cross the doors of the building, you are finally okay but through the windows you see all that wind and some lightning reflecting.

The sky is already getting completely dark and you hear some thunder in the distance, all of it approaching.

You hug Vhagar and head for the elevator, again with that hope and longing.

Or otherwise… you'll have come all this way for nothing.

Soon enough you ring the bell, as you cuddle Vhagar and wait impatiently, worried that you'll probably stay out here since you can't go back to your dorm in this weather.

Uber fares go up considerably high because of the rain. And considering it's a storm… you'd have to stay here or at the reception of the building.

You let out a long breath, waiting. When at that moment a loud clap of thunder rumbles through the entire building, tensing you up and causing you to freeze in fear.

Vhagar stirs frightened in your arms and you hold her tighter against you, caressing her, swallowing hard and looking at the door with a hopeful and suffering face at the same time, beginning to despair.

You don't like to be alone when this kind of weather happens.

Then to your enormous good fortune, the door opens and again after a long three months you are face to face with Aemond.

The surprise is more than evident on his face when he sees you, clearly not expecting it to be you, now with the roles reversing as you are the one looking for him after months.

And you smile a little in his direction, though it's not entirely genuine because of the nervousness of being in front of him again and also because of the storm out there.

As Aemond watches you with his lips parted, his gaze lit up and wearing comfortable clothes, a white t-shirt and gray pants.

"Y/N?"

Vhagar stirs fully in your arms, watching Aemond intently, as you hold her tighter and swallow hard, watching him with some sorrow and also hope.

"I'm sorry," you stir nervously, lowering your gaze, "I-I had to come and….

You bite your lips, as Aemond takes a step towards you, hopeful, but still very surprised that you are here. And when you again raise your gaze to him, you both stare at each other for a few seconds without saying anything, with a look of hope.

His lilac eye watches you again with that glow while his beautiful sapphire shines and sparkles completely in your direction. That sapphire you love so much.

He doesn't seem to intend to send you away, not at all, not with the storm out there and if there wasn't, he still wouldn't have done it.

He wouldn't let you go a second time, not in his greatest madness.

That's why you light that spark of hope in him again, watching you intently and with complete adoration, even though he hasn't sung victory yet.

And you finally finish your sentence by watching him with a look of hope and affection at the same time.

"And I just hate storms."

Aemond places a small closed-mouth smile, one barely visible, then fully opens his door and allows you to pass through.

"I know."

Is what he says to you so that you then enter the apartment.

You set Vhagar down on the floor and realize that nothing has changed as everything remains exactly the same. As Aemond watches you behind you, cautious to take his distance as he doesn't want to ruin this, to then hold Vhagar in his arms.

And then it's as if you both go back in time.

"Would you like a cup of coffee or something to eat?"

He offers you in a soft voice, as your gaze focuses on the huge windows, watching as the rain hits the glass hard and lightning illuminates some parts inside the apartment.

And you turn to him.

"Yes," you nod, "Coffee would be nice."

Aemond nods to then go down to Vhagar, but first quickly goes to close the curtains, since he knows you don't even like to look when it rains so brutally.

Then he makes you comfortable in what used to be your home too.

You take a seat on the stool at the table while he starts getting everything ready and that's when you both again start catching up after the three months.

You thought it would be awkward and weird, but it's not.

He's clearly happy that you're here and you feel the same way about the two of you now being in each other's company.

The conversation makes you forget a bit about the weather, even though you hear some thunder, but Aemond distracts you by asking or telling you something, pouring you a cup of coffee and offering you some sweet bread as well.

There really isn't much to catch up on, but you have a very good and pleasant time, finally feeling at ease being with him.

As the night begins to grow late and Aemond takes you to your room, because for him it has never stopped being your room.

When you open the door, everything is just as you left it the last time. Everything is empty, there are only the unoccupied furniture, the lamps on each one, the empty desk and also the bed with the sheets and pillows that have not been used by anyone since you left.

"I'll get you a T-shirt and some socks, so you can sleep comfortably."

You look at him and nod, watching him gratefully.

"Yes, thank you. I-I know I should have brought my clothes, but…

"No, it's fine," he assures you instantly, "No problem."

And he walks away down the hallway toward the door to his room as you watch him then go inside, take a seat on the bed and look around the room for a few more moments.

You felt so strange when you left this room and saw it this empty last time. And now you feel the same way.

When he soon returns with his clothes and hands them to you.

"Here you go."

"Thank you, Aemond."

He nods to you and then scratches the back of his neck, which he does out of nervousness, watching you, suddenly having an impulse, wanting to say something to you.

But he controls himself, again telling himself that he mustn't fuck this up, that he mustn't scare you. So he starts to leave the room.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything."

"Yes," you murmur, "Thank you."

"It's nothing," he smiles softly at you, "good night."

"Good night."

And he closes the door.

It's only a matter of time before you're covered with the sheets, with Vhagar sleeping with you, watching the rain through part of the window with the curtain open, lowering your gaze to place your nose in the collar of Aemond's shirt you're wearing so you can breathe in more of the detergent and clean smell of him.

You can't sleep.

The sound of the rain doesn't leave you, neither does the lightning that reflects from time to time, much less some thunder that is not constant, but when you hear it, it makes you tense up and gives you chills.

You know you're not alone, but you still can't.

So you try one more time. But unconsciously your eyes stay open and you tremble with fear when the thunder is louder this time and the lightning longer and more constant.

Everything is like a horror movie for you.

You really hate and are terrified of storms.

Unable to stand it any longer, you stir to get up, to which Vhagar does so too, watching you intently, she too watching the window for the sound of the rain and the strong wind, probably just as terrified as you are.

Undecided, you go back to watching the window sitting on the bed and bite your lips, telling yourself that what you want to do is not bad and that it is just what you want after so long thinking about it.

When a huge, loud, horrible thunder rumbles throughout the building and probably all of Kings Landing.

You tense up and become completely paralyzed with fear, also the thunder makes Vhagar bark in fear, while you feel the uncontrollable urge to cry, because it terrifies you and does not let you sleep.

You get up with Vhagar in your arms, definitely not taking it anymore and as you try to move forward to get out of bed, your feet collide with something.

You lower your confused gaze, stopping, seeing how there is a medium sized box sticking out a bit from under the bed, as if it had been stored there.

Confused and curious, despite the horrible storm out there, you gently set Vhagar back down on the bed and bend down to pull the box out and pick it up.

Cautiously, you think to yourself that maybe it must be something of Aemond's, something he wanted to keep here and you know you shouldn't snoop around because it's his stuff and this is his room since you left.

But you ask yourself; why keep something right here? Why not in his room?

With everything he has told you and if he really felt bad about you leaving here, maybe he couldn't even bear to see this room without your stuff being here.

That's how you would have felt.

When you then look at the box, in the center of the lid you see how there is a white folded card. You frown, slowly open it and read:

For my best friend, the best of all.

Happy birthday my pretty one. Thank you for always being there for me, even though many times I don't deserve you. I love you, now and always.

You stand completely frozen, staring at the card in surprise and bewilderment, only to look at the box in your hands that is actually your birthday present.

The gift he was never able to give you.

Months have passed and yet it's like it happened yesterday. And you've moved on. But Aemond isn't.

Maybe in all this time remorse was eating him alive, knowing perfectly well that your present is under your bed, in the room that was once yours. Thinking that day must have been very special and that he must have been there for you.

However, nothing was like that.

That's why he placed it here, because he couldn't bear to see it, just the same way he couldn't even bear to see the door to this room every time he walked through the hallway.

You're surprised that he didn't get rid of your gift, but still, unable to cope with curiosity and with a strong, sharp feeling in your chest, you dare and open the box.

And the first thing you see are old photos of the two of you together.

You delicately take the first picture, a photo of you both in high school, where you smile with utmost happiness and he makes a funny face next to you.

You smile a little, remembering that day just as if it was yesterday.

This is the first picture you both took together after you both started spending more time together in school and then became best friends.

He didn't even want to take a picture with you, he said he didn't like them, but you convinced him and then over time he didn't deny you any picture you wanted to take of him or both of you together.

The next picture is both of you in his car, both eating ice cream, where earlier he had warned you that if you dropped ice cream on his baby, his car obviously, you would have to wash it yourself and everything, not just the inside.

Then the next picture is both of you at school with a bunch of friends from back then, friends of his more than anything, but he and you are in the middle of everyone, hugging and smiling.

And so continually there are more photos of the two of you, especially together on your relatives' birthdays, there's even one of the two of you with your parents.

You planned a little trip to visit your parents because you missed them so much and Aemond in an instant wanted to join you.

You didn't want to bother him, but he assured you that he was no bother at all and the moment your parents finally met him, they loved him completely and he loved them too.

Another photo is him at the amusement park, smiling at you, and then another one he took of you, also smiling with a cotton candy.

And at the end are the pictures you took together at his family's balls at Dragonstone, both of you smiling, him in his suit and you in your more than ideal and perfect dress for that night.

He has the color of his tie the same color as your dress in each photo, going through the years, both of you together and in different colors of ties and dresses.

There are also photos of the two of you here in the apartment, together, smiling and happy, to which you smile too, looking at the photos with a lot of feeling, tears starting to form in your eyes.

And you realize the different meaning these photos would have had, if the two of you had confessed your feelings to each other from the beginning.

And that's what gives you the most feeling… the time lost and how wrong the two of you were about each other.

You sniffle, not letting the tears run down your cheeks, realizing that there is something else in the background that was covered by the pictures.

You take another but smaller box in your hand, a small black and velvet box.

Not having the slightest idea what it could be, you swallow hard and open it, instantly the slight surprise reflecting in your gaze as you see what's inside.

A beautiful silver necklace with a drop-shaped pendant of a blue sapphire… a blue sapphire just the same color as the one he has in his eye.

Incredulous, starting to breathe a little faster, you look at it in complete surprise, realizing what he would have given you at the time as a gift.

But you don't even know if you would have accepted it. You know that this must have cost him a lot.

And even though you know that money is no issue for him, it still seems too much for you because it's a real sapphire, just like the one in his eye.

You tilt your head to the side, feeling like you really want to cry now, but then a few words on a small letter underneath the necklace catch your eye.

An important part of me for you,

A vulnerable part of me that has been placed in good hands with you, my soulmate. A part that I have learned to overcome and a pain that thanks to you, has turned into something beautiful. You are special to me.

You are pure magic, my beautiful pretty one.

That's when you lose it again completely. And you start to cry uncontrollably.

You try not to make your sobs so loud, especially since Aemond's room is right next door, but you doubt that he can hear you with all the horrible sound of the storm outside.

You gently run your index finger over the precious sapphire and read his words over and over again.

My soulmate.

He has written to you… but back then it would have meant soulmates in a friendship. But now considering the truth, he always thought differently and has always been that way.

You wonder what you would have done at that moment if he had spent your birthday with you, maybe in sorrow you would have refused this expensive gift, but in the end you know he would have convinced you one way or another.

When at that moment, again a huge, terrifying and loud thunder makes you terribly scared.

Vhagar again barks, frightened and trying to find your touch.

You wipe your tears and leave the gift on the bed, then take Vhagar in your arms and leave the room, heading towards Aemond's room.

At first you think about knocking, but again another clap of thunder, not so loud this time but still frightening, makes you simply open his door.

Instantly you think he is asleep, but the reality is that he has been as awake as you have been all this time.

And with his back to you, he turns to you as he hears the faint sound of his door opening and also draws your attention as the light from the hallway slowly enters his darkened room.

"Y/N?"

You are relieved to realize that he was not asleep, as he looks at you a little confused, beginning to sit up, watching you carefully.

In other circumstances he would not have understood you, but by the expression in your face in an instant he knows because of the horrible storm accompanied by the loud and terrifying thunder outside.

You are about to explain yourself, but as you stand there watching him, remembering all that he told you and explained, even though you are more than aware of the beautiful gift he was destined to give you, you realize that you can't find the words to speak.

Much less when out there the storm seems to intensify, increasing your anxiety and your fear, calling for your attention.

But he has his full attention on you.

So simply acting on impulse and that same need you felt hours earlier in your dorm, deciding to come here by finally making a decision, you head towards him.

You leave Vhagar on his bed, walk around the bed to get to the right side as he watches you intently without saying anything to you and you lie down next to him.

And the two of you simply say nothing.

Aemond settles back into the same position he was in before, while you cover yourself with the sheets that have that unique, clean, fresh smell of his.

Then you move closer to him, snuggling up next to him, draping one of your arms across his stomach and placing your head on his chest, as he gladly welcomes you and locks you in his arms.

And again neither of you say anything. Because there is no need to say anything.

Simply the actions speak for themselves, Aemond realizing that you have already made your decision, a decision that fills him completely and makes him a happy man, finally.

Because you are trusting him again completely, giving him your heart in his hands. And for that he feels privileged.

And in that moment he makes a promise to himself, and that is that he will not fuck this up again, he will not hurt you again, because this is all he has ever wanted.

And the first thing he will do is to prove everything to you with actions and not with words, words and promises that were worthless before, but now… now things are different.

Now they are without Alys in the middle and without his immaturity holding him back anymore.

And what you need from him is this, to feel his closeness, his presence, just the way you are now, hugging and now feeling so much better to get through this horrible storm.

Vhagar settles between both of your legs, to which Aemond smiles tight-mouthed, resting his head more against yours, running his fingers gently down your back, over his shirt, sending shivers but comfort throughout your body.

You move your face closer to him, hiding your face between his chest and neck, inhaling the comforting scent of his clothes and hair, making you smile a little softly.

You have never been in such an intimate position with him before, not even in your times of friendship, because you were afraid that if you started doing this, he would notice.

But now… you realize that this is all you've ever wanted.

When suddenly another huge thunderclap makes you startle in fright and hide your face further into his neck, but Aemond quickly pulls you tighter against him, covering you and protecting you from everything.

"Shh," he murmurs softly in your ear, stroking your back, "Easy, my pretty one. It's okay, I've got you."

And his words couldn't have comforted you more.

Especially since he then turns his face slightly towards yours and begins to leave soft, tender kisses all over your cheek, making butterflies appear in your stomach.

He doesn't go any further, fearing to scare you, when the reality is that you had long desired this. But you don't make him go any further either, this being enough and perfect.

"I love you so much," he murmurs sincerely and lovingly in your ear, "You don't know how much I had wanted this, Y/N."

You smile softly against her cheek and neck, gently stroking her hair with your right hand.

"Me too," you murmur," And I love you too, Aemond."

And there it is… finally. The first I love you from both of you.

Aemond had already told you, that's why you reacted the way you reacted, but now hearing those words come from you only makes him feel more alive and realize that this is real.

With you in his arms and Vhagar asleep in his legs, he knows this is real.

Inevitably, now he is the one who feels the urge to cry, your "I love you" filling him completely and making a tear escape from his eye, feeling very happy but at the same time very afraid of losing you again for a silly thing.

Only he knows how much he suffered when you left and their friendship ended, that now he doesn't even want to make the slightest mistake, because he doesn't want to and wouldn't bear to lose you again.

"I'm not going to fuck this up again, Y/N."

He tells you with a slight tremor in his voice, calling your attention, without ceasing to caress his hair, especially at the moment when you feel something wet fall on your shoulder, being his tear.

"I don't want to lose you again, not with more words and empty promises. No, I-I want to make this right, I want you to be with me, I want to deserve you, to be worth it to you. And I'm going to prove that to you."

You open your eyes slowly, not really being able to see anything, only the shape of his face covering half of your view, while the rest is the room, watching the lightning reflecting from time to time.

You let out a long breath, continuing to run your hand through his hair, then gently lift your face towards him, without pulling away from the embrace, wanting to look at him face to face.

And you are right the moment you see the wet path of his tear running down his cheek and his eye slightly red as he looks back at you.

And he lets you see it, lets you see his vulnerability and how terribly honest he's being with you right now. And you believe him. You really do.

You raise your hand and place your thumb on his cheek, wiping away the trace of moisture gently, watching him lovingly and in understanding, then nod, letting him know it's okay.

Then you are the one who starts stroking his hair back as you lean a little closer to him and start leaving soft kisses on his right cheek while caressing his left cheek with your hand.

He leans closer to you, closing his eye and letting himself be carried away by the feeling of your caresses, holding you tighter against him, not wanting to let you go and wanting to feel you as close as possible.

This is comforting for both you and him, but he has always wanted this, always longed for this and now that he is receiving it, it feels like a dream.

And he loves this. He loves that he has you and that everything is finally all right, despite the terrible storm out there.

But the storm was the main reason you're both here now so… he doesn't know whether to be grateful for that or hate the storm as much as you hate it for scaring you and keeping you awake at night.

Then again it's you who dares and leaves a soft kiss on his lips that takes him completely unaware and he opens his eye to watch you intently and slightly surprised.

But before the two of you, especially you, can process it, you watch him with some fear, hope, fondness and need.

"We won't go through the same thing again as before, will we?"

You ask him in fear and his gaze contracts in understanding and concern for your worry.

"We will talk and consult each other about anything that worries us. We won't be led by anything or anyone without asking each other first… right?" you look at him a little more serious, but still concerned, "There won't be anyone else in the way anymore."

Aemond watches you for a few seconds in silence, observing you or rather admiring you gently, completely understanding this concern of yours.

And if he were you, honestly he too would be worried about the same thing considering everything that happened between you.

"Right."

He assures you afterwards with a sigh, bringing one of his hands to a lock of your hair, placing it behind your ear, then caressing your cheek watching you with adoration and then placing his fingers on your chin.

"We're going to do this right," he assures you, "I'm going to do this right."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he assures you again in an instant, "I'll never get another chance with you if I screw up again, I know that and that's why…now that I finally have you, I don't intend to let you go. Not until you decide so."

You smile softly in his direction, your gaze full of affection and adoration, thinking about how much you love him and how perfect this feels, this thing you've wanted for years, being the same thing he wanted and feels too.

Your lips are almost touching and having no intention of separating because you want to feel the closeness of the two of you, his words filling you up.

"So this is official now?"

You ask him with some amusement in your gaze but equally excited, trying to keep yourself from smiling big and looking like a silly little girl in love.

"I've waited too long already, Y/N. I don't want to waste any more time. But I'll understand if you still don't want us to take this any further," he lets you know, "Just because you've already made up your mind and taken some time doesn't mean you can't take more to clear your head if that's what you need. I'll still keep waiting for you until you're ready."

He tells you so honestly and with such determination that your heart melts with affection.

And more so because he continues to look at you as the most precious thing to him in the whole world, really not wanting to scare you away from the matters of a relationship so soon, but he wants to be honest with you from the beginning.

And you appreciate that, because you know how terribly serious this is both for him and for you….. finally.

"No, I-I…" you nod slightly and smile a little, "I want this too."

He watches you intently and with all the fondness in his gaze.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… yes, I-I… this is all I've ever wanted" you sigh, "I don't want to waste any more time either. I just want everything to be okay now and for us not to go through what we went through last time. I want us to talk and be there for each other."

He nods slightly, understanding, smiling.

"That's how it will be my pretty one, you'll see."

So now it is he who makes with his fingers on your chin to bring your face closer to him and kisses you.

He really kisses you.

You let yourself be completely carried away by the movement of his lips and you move closer to him, letting all your weight fall on top of him, kissing him as softly and affectionately as he kisses you, it being a kiss not at all hurried but deep and full of feelings.

He kisses you so sweet and so soft, treating you as if you were made of glass.

He then places both of his hands on your waist, embracing you and pulling you tighter against him, while you place your hands on his cheeks, both kissing without separating an inch.

And now all you can hear is still the sound of rain and thunder outside, along with the sound of your mouths moving, both of you clinging to each other.

The two of you finally feeling complete as you share your first kiss.

"Fuck," he sighs into your lips, completely delighted by your lips and your closeness, "I love you…so much."

He tells you in between kisses to then caress his lips with yours again in a desperate, deep movement, making you smile and giggle a little, pulling you apart a little to again leave steady kisses down his cheeks, his nose and again kiss his lips.

"I love you too."

And again you resume the long, lingering kiss, not meaning anything else, just being about the first innocent kiss… for now.

All they both need now is to feel that closeness and affection for each other. And that's exactly what they do, until they eventually fall asleep.

The next morning, neither you nor Aemond get out of bed.

With the weather completely cloudy as a result of last night's storm, the mood is to stay in bed and stay there all day. And that's exactly what you both do.

It is Aemond who wakes up first, with you in his arms, your face buried in his neck and your arms around his body, while Vhagar sleeps in both of your legs more than comfortably.

He smiles at the sight, more than pleased and more than happy, not needing anything else for this day and definitely not needing more in his life than this… you.

You the person he wants to spend the rest of his days with if possible, with Vhagar accompanying you at every step, the mere thought making him smile and yearn like an idiot.

Then he carefully removes you from his body, which fortunately you don't wake up to because you are not used to going to sleep late and waking up early the next day like he is.

Vhagar doesn't wake up either, which he also appreciates and as soon as he gets out of bed, he quickly covers you with his sheets, making sure you're okay, and then leaves a kiss on your neck and forehead.

He also caresses and leaves kisses on Vhagar's head before heading to his bathroom to take a shower.

And by the time he finishes, you are still asleep, but Vhagar wakes up and he takes her in his arms to go together to the kitchen to make breakfast.

The whole time he's cooking he can't stop grinning like an idiot, thinking about last night and also happy with the thought that you're here with him, right now sleeping in his bed, the two of you finally together.

And he knows it's real as he paces back and forth in the kitchen with Vhagar lying on the floor, watching him, making him smile and feeding her every moment he sees her, not resisting.

As he is about to finish cooking, he feels small hands and arms wrap around his back completely, making him smile like an idiot again, more if possible, instantly placing his hands above yours on his chest.

He feels you drop your head on his back, needing his touch, just what he needs from you as well.

"Good morning, my pretty one."

"Good morning," you say back to him with your voice hoarser and still sleepy.

He laughs and turns to you, holding you in his arms, instantly embracing you as you cling completely to him. And he leaves kisses on your cheek and in your hair.

"How did you sleep?"

You let out a long breath.

"Very well until I woke up and you weren't next to me."

He smiles, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't worry, we'll have more mornings together where you'll wake up and I'll be right next to you, I promise," he leaves a kiss on your forehead, "Now… do you want breakfast? I made pancakes."

You raise your gaze to him, watching him with all the adoration in the world with a small smile, then nod.

"Okey," he leans in and leaves a soft kiss on your lips, "Give me a few minutes, I'll serve everything."

"I'll help you."

The two separate, at that moment the two realizing that they can't even keep their hands to themselves as they need to touch and be close to each other, turning out to be ridiculous but more than necessary at the same time.

Aemond thinks about how if Aegon could see them right now, he would call them in need of affection when literally the two of them are in the same place and even then it's not enough.

It's not like you're going to be stolen any second from his side or Aemond is going to be stolen from your side.

And the moment they start serving everything, after having breakfast together, in the place that was home to both of you and fortunately still is, everything went back to the way it used to be before.

Except this time… finally Aemond is yours and you are his.

And then pretty soon the people around you know it.

It's not as if you both wanted to hide your relationship, not at all, rather you wanted to shout to everyone that at last the two of you are together and happy.

Helaena was the first to find out after she showed up by surprise at the apartment and found you there with Aemond's clothes on, where the two of you were watching movies.

And you didn't even have to explain anything to her, she immediately deduced that something else was going on.

But when you confirmed to her that it was so, she could no longer control her huge smile and her excitement, hugging you tightly, telling you how very happy she was for both of you, then hugging Aemond as well.

But his happiness vanishes and in the blink of an eye she grabs him by the collar of his shirt in a furious grip and threatens him not to commit any of his foolishness with you again.

And as soon as she is done threatening him too, she returns to her happy state and keeps them company for a while, happy to see them both so comfortable, so happy and finally so at peace with each other.

Then the next to find out were Aegon, your friends and also apparently "the rumor" started to go around the campus, among the girls more than anything else, announcing that Aemond Targaryen has a new girlfriend.

And it was confirmed the moment you and Aemond are seen walking across campus towards your apartment, both holding hands and not really caring much about the stares of others.

And because of how extremely popular Aemond is, he didn't hesitate for a second to show off, just a little bit, his relationship with you also on social media, uploading pictures of you or both of you together.

You also started posting some pictures with him, it's not like you have the same amount of followers as him, but you know almost the whole psychology department and you only confirmed more your relationship with him.

And with only a few weeks left after you and Aemond finally formalized everything, neither you nor he talked about moving back in together.

There was nothing Aemond wanted more, but he didn't want to pressure you if you didn't feel ready.

Gradually though, staying at the apartment so late and deciding to sleep over started to become unconscious, also staying in the mornings to have breakfast together and also bringing some of your things or clothes with you.

Aemond only suggested Vhagar to stay with him now and you accepted, that's why going to the apartment started to be more frequent, also sleeping over.

Both of you didn't say anything, but little by little that fact started to happen even for both of you not to agree on something. Aemond was giving you time to adjust and you were doing it without pressure.

Until it got to the point of always staying with him and having to leave your room in the residence free for someone who really needed it. In the end you talked it over with him and he gladly agreed to let you go back to the apartment.

You also talked about your job. You were not willing to quit and he understood you, he didn't reproach you for it or anything, you even agreed that some days he could pick you up.

And so things finally, little by little, between the two of you began to take shape after making the relationship official.

And honestly… the two of you couldn't be any better off.

"Wait, no, so… you're telling me… you and your best friend have been in love for years and neither of you knew…" Sara looks at you serious and incredulous, "Until now."

You let out a small laugh, swinging your feet back and forth constantly.

"Yes, that's exactly how it happened."

But Sara is having none of it, she questions you in disbelief and stares at you in total disbelief.

"Are you kidding?"

"You can't blame them either, that's what usually happens when they're best friends," Aileen tells her with more understanding.

"But wow," Ryan says now, slightly surprised, "You being the Targaryen boy's girlfriend is like you're a celebrity girlfriend. All the girls will be all over you knowing his reputation from before."

"He already explained that to me, so I'm not worried," you assure him.

"And how has it been going?" asks Sara with a smile, taking a sip of her drink, "You didn't date any Highgarden boys but you're dating Aemond Targaryen, who…" she makes a thoughtful face, nodding, "Yes, it's true, he's like a celebrity."

"As far as I know, everything's fine," Hel suddenly appears from the kitchen with a smile, drawing everyone's attention, "And if it isn't, the first thing I'll do is go against Aemond."

You smile at the arrival of Hel, who looks as radiant and striking as ever in a beautiful red dress and her platinum hair in a simple but pretty updo.

"Guys, this is Helaena, Aemond's sister and my advisor… pretty much in everything."

"'Her sister-in-law,' Hel says with a proud smile, waving to your friends.

You laugh and so do your friends, as you can see Ryan fidget a little nervously at Hel's arrival who talks to Sara and Aileen as if they've known each other all their lives, watching her a bit embarrassed, making you smile, knowing full well that Hel also has many admirers all over campus.

But that doesn't make you smile as much as when Aemond crosses the kitchen doorstep as well, looking for something or someone, but when his gaze meets yours, that little smile appears on his lips and you smile back at him.

He makes his way through all the people at the party crossing between the main living room of the huge fraternity house and the kitchen to get to you.

And when he does, you immediately wrap your arms around his neck and he wraps his hands around your waist, leaving a chaste kiss on your lips that you reciprocate with a smile.

"Here's my pretty one," he murmurs against your lips.

You smile some more.

"I missed you."

"Me too," he leaves one more kiss on your lips, "But people came who I didn't even know were my family, all the way from Oldtown and mom wanted us to stay and meet everyone."

"And how did that go?"

"Hmm… fine, yeah," he shrugs, "Nothing interesting, really."

You laugh at his unconcern when you can imagine his mother going crazy having so many guests from Oldtown.

"And where is Aegon?"

"He met some girls at the entrance, one of them he must be sticking his tongue down her throat by now."

You laugh again as he settles between your legs and you hug him by the shoulders, then he turns and greets Ryan, who is right in front of you and they both start talking and catching up.

Also little by little Hel corroborates in the conversation of both of them and so on until also Sara and Aileen also talk to him, finally your friends and your boyfriend having a conversation and getting along well.

At all times Aemond doesn't move away from you and doesn't fail to feel your touch as he takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours, those simple actions filling you up and making you feel more than happy.

Until at one point you can see how a group of girls also in the kitchen are watching the two of you and whispering constantly to each other, but watching especially you.

Ryan's words come to your mind and you try to distract yourself from thinking about it, but with their gazes on you it becomes impossible, while Aemond doesn't even notice.

When Aemond catches your attention and makes you forget about them as he turns to you and watches you with all that affection and all that adoration.

"Wanna dance?"

"In a moment. I want to play something first," you point to the beer pong tables.

"Babe, at the last party with just one round of beer pong you were already feeling dizzy," he tells you amused.

"That's not true," you say instantly indignant, "It must have been the heat, the people or something."

He laughs.

"Yeah, right."

"Besides, who was the last one who had to take care of whom?"

"See? You don't even remember," he says amused, "I took care of you last time."

You look away from him and grimace a little, smiling.

"Fine, now I'm the one at this party who's taking care of you."

"Hmm… nope," he leaves a kiss on your cheek, "I don't plan on drinking. I have to take care of my girl."

"Are you serious? Because I am taking it serious," you warn him.

"Yeah, if you want to drink, I'll take care of you," he assures you.

"You sure?"

"Very sure."

You smile and again the two of you share a slightly longer kiss, neither of you really caring that you're among friends and lots of people.

You did care at first, but Aemond didn't and he started to slowly make you stop caring too.

"There are my two love birds!"

Aegon's voice makes both of you break off and look at him, also your friends, as he enters the kitchen already with a drink in hand and completely smiling, heading towards where you are.

"What's up man?"

He gives Ryan a friendly high-five and makes his way over to head towards your friends and Hel.

"Sis, I already told you, you look good, girls you too, beautiful," he says in a flirty tone and finally his gaze falls on the two of you, "Sister-in-law! First time we've seen each other since you've been with my brother and you don't know the satisfaction it gives me to call you that."

You laugh and Aegon wraps you in a hug.

"Also finally seeing you, again, Egg."

"Don't call me that if you want to continue to have my approval, you little demon."

"Oh come on, even if you didn't want to, we'd still still be approved by you."

"I hate you."

And even though Aemond doesn't have to feel jealous, he still has that instinct and also the protective one, so he interferes, wanting to feel close to you again, nor him bearing himself.

"Okay, that's enough."

Aemond interrupts their moment by pulling Aegon away from you and settling back between your legs, him being the barrier between his brother and you or anyone else actually.

"So soon we've already started with your jealousy, little brother?"

"Hands where I can see them."

"Okay, Officer Targaryen," he says with a pout, "Dude, this is a party, relax."

You smile and leave a kiss on Aemond's cheek, that being enough to make him content again.

"And mom already knows about this?" asks Aegon interested, "You know she'll go crazy, right?"

"Why?" asks Aemond.

"She'll go crazy and probably start crying from happiness, obviously," he says obviously, "And not just her, but Nyra, Daeron, Jace too, Baela, Rhaena, even Uncle Daemon-oh my god, I can already see what he'll say-you know what? I'll send him a picture of you two right now," he quickly grabs his cell phone and starts typing like crazy, "the fucker is going to love this."

You can't help but laugh loudly at this as Aemond also puts on a smile and not too soon after, the party really starts to get going.

Aegon is the one who starts to set the mood more and pretty soon you find yourself dancing with Aemond and your friends.

Or rather you are hugging him, with him having his hands on your waist, both of you moving from time to time to the rhythm of the music but kissing.

You also sing a few songs together, even Aegon joins in the fun in every person who is dancing, but you can't help but not kiss.

Drinks fly here and there, Aemond drinks too, but it is you who drinks too much and soon enough you find yourself dizzy, sitting on a couch with Aemond next to you with one of his arms around your shoulders and your head on his chest.

Your friends keep you company, also Hel. You don't talk as you are recovering because you don't want to get really drunk while Aemond laughs and talks to your friends, but still from time to time he talks to you and watches you to ask you if you are ok, leaving kisses on your forehead or cheek.

The minutes pass and you observe all the party around you, until your gaze meets again with a whole group of girls watching Aemond and you, but more you.

And it catches your attention that right in that group of girls is Alys, in the middle of all of them, murmuring and having a funny little smile on her lips, watching you.

You press your lips together, letting out a long breath, not wanting to make a big deal out of it but finding it impossible because of the mocking way you know she's talking about you.

Honestly, you didn't even remember Alys anymore. And you know Aemond doesn't even think about her anymore either.

But seeing her now, you teleport back in time to your high school days with the rich girls being mean to you.

And at that moment you try not to let Alys get to you.

You know you shouldn't be ashamed, rather she should be ashamed of what she did to Aemond and with that you feel at ease, knowing that you are not a disgusting person like her.

But being a little drunk and dizzy at the moment, it's a little hard for you not to care.

"Babe? Are you listening to me?"

Aemond's words snap you out of your trance returning to the party and you look at him a bit confused.

"Mmm?"

He smiles at you in amusement.

"I asked you if you need anything."

"Oh," you close your eyes, sighing, "No, I'm fine, thanks."

"Sure? Don't you need a glass of water, go to the bathroom or get some air?"

"Hmm…" you say thoughtfully, "No."

He chuckles a little at your behavior and leaves a soft kiss on your lips.

"You want to go home already don't you?"

"What? No, of course not," you quickly tell him confused.

" Babe, I know perfectly well when you lie to me and believe me when you're drunk, I know it even more."

You let out a sound of frustration, closing your eyes tighter, hiding your face in his neck.

"I'm not drunk and I don't want to ruin the party for you. We can stay a little longer," you tell him apologetically.

"No, babe, it's okay," he assures you, "Come on, can you get up by yourself?"

" Babe, no, it's okay, we can stay…".

"I want to go too. Right now I want to be home, with Vhagar and you, so come on, can you get up or not?"

Soon enough, the two of you say goodbye to your friends and his siblings, and Aemond helps you with your balance as you both head to your car, as yes you can walk but at any moment you can go more to the left or right than you need to.

"I love you," you murmur to him as he sits you in the passenger seat and buckles you in.

He smiles.

"I love you too, my pretty one," he says to leave a kiss on your forehead and close the door.

And again very soon you find yourselves arriving at the apartment, where a happy Vhagar greets you, while Aemond leaves you on one of the sofas and goes to the kitchen to get you some water and something sweet to make the dizziness go away faster.

"Here you go, love."

"Thanks."

He also takes a seat next to you and you start eating the sweet bread he brought you, while Vhagar climbs up on the couch with both of you as well.

"Do you want to watch a movie before we go to sleep?"

He asks you watching you carefully and you nod with your mouth full.

Aemond turns on the TV and starts searching for something on Netflix, while you're almost done eating and drinking water, honestly starting to feel better without noise and with some food in your stomach.

When Aemond switches from Netflix to HBO to put on your favorite movie, Harry Potter.

And it's not even ten minutes into the movie when you finish eating and all of a sudden you say:

"I want to hug you."

Aemond smiles beside you.

"You can hug me, babe. I'm right here."

And with that you don't need to hear any more, you quickly move towards him.

But Aemond thought you would want to lay your head on his chest and he would want to hug you around the waist so you could watch the movie, however, you sit right on his lap, your arms around his neck and your face hidden, your back to the TV.

That takes him by surprise but he doesn't complain, on the contrary, he pulls you tighter against him, slipping his arms around you to wrap his arms around your waist.

"I'm sorry we left the party so early," you murmur in his ear, apologetic.

"No, it's okay," he murmurs softly and lovingly in your ear too, " This is how I want to be with you. This is how I always want to be."

You let out a long breath, clinging a little tighter to him, leaving a soft kiss on his neck, feeling so loved.

Then, unable to help yourself, you again leave a kiss on his neck, then begin to leave more in a trail down to his cheek and lips, holding his face with one of your hands.

Aemond smiles all the time, especially when you kiss him with so much need and so much passion that you drive him crazy and he kisses you with just the same feeling.

He pulls away from you to catch his breath and you continue kissing his neck, stroking his hair and stirring in his lap, which makes Aemond alarmed hold you tightly by the waist, preventing you from moving too much.

But you continue with your kisses, on his neck, all over his face and finally on his lips, kissing him in a way you have never kissed him before and Aemond corresponds happily.

When your breathing and also his starts to get heavier and your kisses more… needy.

You again want to move on top of him, but Aemond again stops you by stopping you from kissing and watching you with some alertness and also warning.

"Y/N."

"What?"

Again you kiss him, clinging more towards him if possible and Aemond kisses you too.

But your need clearly starts to mean something else and Aemond stops you again the moment you slip one of your hands under his shirt to feel his body.

"No, wait," he murmurs, stopping you from kissing, breathing hard.

"What? What's wrong?"

You look at him confused and he lets out a long breath.

"You're drunk," he says softly, wanting to make you understand.

"Aemond, I'm not drunk," you insist, "I just felt dizzy, that's all."

You look at him with all honesty and clearly with all willingness, but Aemond continues to look at you with some sorrow and hesitation, also a little serious, because he is not quite sure about it.

"Aemond, please…" you plead, bringing one of your hands to his cheek, " I am thinking, I am conscious and believe me I have never been so sober in my life."

He lets out a long breath, pulling his gaze away from yours, that definitely catching your attention and now watching him with confusion and some disappointment.

"Or is it that you…" you are embarrassed in an instant, "you don't want to do it?"

And at this Aemond immediately looks at you again, worried.

"What? No, no, no, it's not that, babe, it's just that….".

He looks at you unsure, while you continue to watch him attentively, wanting to know, your lips parted and swollen, as well as your whole look willing and full of desire, your eyes more than anything else, just the same way he is.

But he can't do it, not this way without first talking it out and you being sure to take that big step.

"Yet you drink and I can't and won't do this if you're not sure."

"But I am," you insist, "I'm more than sure."

And even though you've said so and you're totally showing him how sure and willing you are, he still doesn't feel convinced, watching you carefully and with some regret.

"I promise, I'm very sure," you say again to kiss him again with the same need as before.

And Aemond reciprocates your kiss, but still continuing to hold you tightly around your waist, preventing you from moving and making him lose control completely.

Even he doesn't know why he keeps resisting nor does he know what else he needs to hear from you to do this, but your drinking earlier stops him completely.

He thinks you're telling him you're safe but you may still be influenced by alcohol and that's just what he doesn't want.

But you really are sober. You really want to do this.

You kiss him with such longing, passion and determination, to continue leaving wet kisses all over his neck, making him sigh and even more reason to control himself at that moment.

"Y/N," again he warns you.

"I want this, please," you beg, "I want this so badly," you murmur in his ear, leaving a few more kisses, caressing his abdomen over his shirt, "Let me show you how much."

His words alert you, but in an instant, you pull away just a little from him and remove your shirt, exposing your breasts covered by your black bra, watching him with desire and even with all that willingness.

Aemond holds his breath completely, surprised, watching you seriously, not being able to avoid looking at your breasts just for a second to look you in the eyes again.

"If you don't want to do this, say so now, Aemond," you ask him.

Then you, there in front of him, half naked, makes his gaze darken and his pupil grow larger, filling him completely with desire at the sight of you and definitely unable to resist any longer.

And now it is he who attacks your lips in a needy kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, while you respond in the same way, pleased.

You begin to move on top of him and this time he doesn't stop you, no longer able to control the notorious desire in his pants that begins to grow and that you begin to feel, only making you want more.

"You're so pretty," he murmurs against your lips, completely aroused, running his hands down your back, reaching for the clip of your bra.

"You're so beautiful too, Aemond," you reply between kisses, "I love you."

"I love you too."

You do the work for him and remove your bra in one motion, dropping it somewhere on the couch, not really caring.

Aemond grunts, definitely not being able to take it anymore and in an instant he places both of his hands on your ass and lifts you up to get up himself as well, carrying you towards his room, both of you without stopping kissing.

And that night, Aemond caressed every part of you and treated you like the petal of a flower, taking care not to hurt you and making you feel good at all times.

And you loved every moment, clinging to him, kissing his scar and repeating over and over again how much you love him, while he continued to make sure you were okay.

You took all the time in the world, there was nothing rushed and nothing forced, the two of you more than comfortable and letting yourselves be completely carried away by the moment, feeling so loved and so lucky.

That night… Aemond was yours and you were his, completely.

And in the end, you both couldn't have felt better, looking forward to what awaited you next, finally together.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond x reader #hotd aemond

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riririnnnn · 1 month

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I tried choking myself like this and oh boy it was such an awful experience—it felt as if someone had placed a really heavy stone over my head Don't try it, not worth it at all, I promise. 0/10, wouldn't recommend.

To choke yourself to the point where saliva is pooling out of your mouth and for you to cough like an asthmatic person, your airway passage must be blocked which means that this dude was really going at it.

So, let's talk about him:

What Kaiser has for Isagi now isn't rivalry anymore, it has become a near obsession and keeping their ship aside, they actually have a pretty unique kind of relation—they both want to get ahead in the path of their soccer career and un/fortunately, they both just happen to be the best stepping stone for eachother right now.

Since the very first time Kaiser was introduced, he had made it clear that Isagi was some sort of a pawn for him to get ahead in his soccer career and that's what Ness also said here:

And Kaiser's words seemed to match Ness' words too:

And I don't blame Kaiser for choosing Isagi to be his rival.

You see, it's tough to truly understand how much impact Isagi's goal had in the BLLK universe. The investors and club owners were literally putting pressure on Noa to make Isagi play—defeating such a boy and proving that you are better than him is a perfect way for literally anyone to increase their value; it fits even well for Kaiser since they both are in the same age group too.

But, the recent chapters, especially after BM Vs Ubers match ended, confused me more. Royale Madrid/Re Al is said to be the strongest/best soccer club in the whole world in BLLK universe, so it indirectly means that Kaiser's value increased—it actually did increase though, about ¥20 millions and Ness' reaction perfectly sums what I want to say:

Kaiser achieved what he had came for in NEL to achieve.

However, we all know what his reaction was: he didn't care, all he cared was that he was inferior to Isagi.

...why?

Like, it just doesn't make sense. He got what he wanted. Besides, Kaiser has a value of ¥320M meanwhile Isagi is still behind Rin and Rin is himself behind Kaiser by ¥100M+! Further, every team has man-marked Kaiser right away! He is already perceived as some kind of threat by every opponent team, what more he wants? Is it some pride thing of boys that I don't understand?

It just feels.. weird.

If Kaiser were to be a real narcissist, then I don't think that he would've accepted so easily that Noa is better than him and that he can't compete against him.

The above statement sends me back to this again:

Chris words can be considered as something said just to provoke Kaiser which worked a bit too perfectly well. I don't know why, but the above panel seems much more important to the story, especially to his character when we glance at this panel:

Just.. what the heck is this guy's backstory!?

I must say that he is very well written and honestly, when Blue Lock Manga ends, Kaneshiro-san can literally make a spin-off of him and the Fandom will inhale it instantly. I wish Itoshi brothers had one too.

When NEL starts in the anime, I hope an official BLLKTV/BLLKTWT app gets launch. Istg it'll be a massive hit.

#blue lock #bllk #michael kaiser #雪 ranting

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m1ssunderstanding · 2 months

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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.3

John having to get high out of his mind because he knows he's invited Paul to come play with him is so so sad. These are the same guys who used to sit facing each other on a bed playing guitars for hours, and now this is them?

Is John calling Paul “Jack Lemon” a reference to “some like it hot”? Because if so, I have questions. Anyway, when your estranged best friend shows up to hang out with you and a bunch of people, talking about being in love again and getting jizzed on is extremely normal and acceptable behavior.

This jam session is so fucking painful though. Paul's doing his best to just push through and get them to actually play something and John's just too far gone.

My theory: there's two reasons he did this. 1. He's avoidant and the last thing he's going to do is let on how bad he needs John in his life and how scared he is that if John gets back with Yoko that that'll be difficult. And 2. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't. If he'd kept it from John that Yoko wanted him back and later John cried to him about how much he missed Yoko or something? Paul can't have that.

John singing a snatch of Yesterday before a take of “Whatever gets you through the Night”??? Did either of them ever write a song where they weren't thinking about the other? Did they ever have a minute of peace without the other rattling the bars of the cage in his brain?

“Hold me Darling, come on, listen to me. I won't do you no harm.” Duh it's about Paul. Oh my gosh.

And with Bless You I'm always so torn. There are so many obvious references to Paul which the doc points out beautifully, but situationally it could also be about Yoko. Maybe it's about both of them in the same way that don't let me down is about both of them.

Anyway the cosmic visuals are gorgeous.

Why'd you have to phrase it like that though? Twice?

Hall of Fame moment. It's a high point for him career-wise and he chose to pull Paul into his spotlight. Not only to sing Paul's song, not only to name-drop him, but to publicly call him an official romantic title. Not “boyfriend” or “ex-wife” which both could've been much more mocking if that's what he was trying to do. But “fiance”. It's official and respected, but it's still got the lustful, unsettled, connotation that something like “husband” lacks.

Johann Weener, everyone. What a loser.

Everyone who still refers to Lennon Remembers like it's the fucking Bible listen to this. It doesn't go on for the next five years, let alone fifty.

John refusing to walk to blocks to sign the papers when George and Paul flew over the ocean. And only on the basis of astrology. He really didn't want the divorce. My heart aches for him. But he made his bed as they say.

I'm putting on my tinfoil hat again here, but I do just have to point out that one of John's first songs, “Hello, Little Girl,” has a line that goes, “you never seem to see me standing there”. And the earliest draft of WISHST, which was started soon after, answers that line. “I saw you standing there.” (Yes, it said you originally, not her). So maybe. Just maybe. That song wasn't just a Paul song, but a song that John knew Paul had put a message in for him. Okay, I apologize for the insanity. On another note, I do wonder if he ever found out what Paul thought of that.

Interviewer: ≈ at this point, do you like writing by yourself, or do you want to write with Paul again?≈ John: ≈well it's a bit of both. It's the same for Paul. We were talking about it a week ago. Okay, cool. So they definitely talked openly and honestly about potentially writing together again.

John, about their partnership, “There was always the feeling that someone was there if you needed it.” Paired with the gayest picture ever taken and then Paul singing “if I can do anything at all, let me help.” Thanks. I hate it.

John was so excited for New Orleans! What happened? I mean I have my theory based on May's book and the sudden shift in behavior. But it's pretty dark.

You know how crazy Paul is about John in interviews now? How he can't seem to keep John's name out of his mouth? John was worse in the seventies. He's promoting his Rock’n’Roll album, talking unprompted and romantically about how he met Paul, when the interviewer reminds him what relationship he's supposed to be romanticizing right now. So John remembers too and dedicates the album to Yoko who he's just got back together with.

Biconic quote.

Interviewer asks, after John's brought him up, if John's pleased with how well Paul's doing. John expresses his relief that Ringo has "found himself a niche" and then

I really do think that last bit sums up a big chunk of how John feels about Paul, and why he feels alright playing dirty against Paul or slagging Paul off. Why it would have been the furthest thing from his mind that Paul actually struggled or was insecure. Why Paul had to remind him, “I'm only a person like you, love.”

What an insane thing to think, let alone say. What if Julian had heard that? I'm pretty sure Julian and Paul weren't in contact, really at all, until the eighties, right? So John's doing better than he is at this point (I mean he's his dad, he should be). John is insecure about every possible thing and compares himself to Paul in every possible way.

Baby. He needed some serious help. The thing that sucks about being ahead of your time is that you also have to live in a world that's behind your needs.

And then. “There's always a friendly tv channel to turn to that's going to make you feel less alone.” I wonder if Paul “Call Me Back Again, John I know you're not that tired from the baby just let me in the fucking door” McCartney heard this? It's possible with how obsessive they were, but it's also impossible with how busy he kept himself.

Okay, here's the first story we've been missing about Paul experiencing negative emotions. And, of course, as always in this doc, it's paired perfectly with “Don't Let it Bring you Down” which is the musical mission statement of Paul's clenched-jawed smile philosophy.

"I tend to get a bit absolute in my statements." Yes, John. Yes you do. Another quote that Big Lennon fans should keep in mind.

John on the three weeks he took to decide if he wanted to continue the band after the first Hamburg trip: The others were mad because we could've been making money. Yeah, John, Paul suddenly had to work in a factory after he'd thrown away an educated, white-collar career (the first in his family) to be in your band. I'd be pissed too if you just didn't even bother to call. Anyway I just hate how casual John is about it. Someone who never had to worry about money is just never going to get that.

John doesn't even remember a ballpark number of how much they were making. Paul remembers exactly bragging to his professors that he was making fifteen a week in Hamburg. Sorry to go on and on about this right before Paris, but to me it's an important difference between them.

Anyway, the fact that Paris was more than just a vacation for them. The fact that – according to Stuart and John at least – they might not have come back. It's dizzying. They really thought about just running off together. I wonder what made them decide to come back and continue the band.

No offense if you do, but I don't personally believe in this stuff. What would the motivation have been for the tarot reader to tell him that? Either way, fuck him.

Gosh the live version of “Call Me Back Again”. You feel it, physically, how bad he wants this phonecall. And the desperation from such a successful man is fantastic. Literally, John, how did it feel to be the only man in the world that could get Paul McCartney to beg? “Pretty baby” “what can I do?” “Boohoohoo babe.” “I tried the operator, but I just can't get through.”

Reporter at the Wings over America tour: No John Lennon, no George Harrison, and no Ringo Starr, just Paul McCartney. And for everyone here tonight, that seemed to be plenty! Obviously he's loving this praise after all the negative press. Anyone would, and Paul needs it more than most people actually. But I bet part of him is like “stop. Don't say it like that, they already hate me enough as it is.”

How many times has John admitted that he finds Paul attractive? “It was no surprise, you know, when the kids – girls saw him, they go ‘ooh! Ooh!’ right away, you know?”

“I know it's true. It's all because of you.” Playing over this? Are you kidding me? Anyway I've never seen the picture version of this, so I thought I'd screenshot it.

But actually, in a way, the original written lyrics to Now and Then are less depressing than what he sang on the demo. “I know it's true, I'm still in love with you, and if I make it through, it's all because of you,” is obviously sad because they're both married to other people. But at least in that version, John's saying his own personal resilience to life's struggles comes from his relationship with Paul, which is nice. Whereas when John, who is sliding into a self-hating deep depression I'm comparing himself to Paul's phenomenal success, sings “it's all because of you” in a general sense, it almost feels like a callback to the ‘I'm shit and I couldn't do anything but be a Beatle (and ride Paul's boat)’ quote. Which is heartbreaking. I wish he could've recognized his own genius.

But yeah either way it's enough to make your heart heavy. If anyone needs a good cry, just go to the last five minutes of this. That should've been the now and then music video, but Paul's too scared of feelings. Which. You know. Considering how much it affects me, I can't even imagine how much it affects him. So he gets a pass.

“Why must we be alone? It's real love. It's real.”

#mclennon #paul mccartney #john lennon #the beatles #ringo starr #george harrison #understanding lennon mccartney #ulm

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snenbubs · 4 months

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I've been reading your work for a while now and the way you write for Mammon is amazing, you're definitely my favourite writer for him. So I was wondering if you aren't too busy if could you please write breakup headcanons for mammon

HELLO! Thank you so, so much!!! It means so much to me that you enjoy what I write! Most of it is my delerious train of thought at like 1am so im honestly shocked at the amount of support ive been getting!

ANYWAYS, ONTO THE HCS!

HB MAMMON X GN!READER, BREAKUP HCS

I'm assuming you meant like, if you broke up with Mammon? If thats not what u meant just send in another anon! I wont mind :3

- Okay, first of all, how dare you?

- He is, the Mammon. You don't just decide when things are over!

- You were smart enough to break it off with him over text, rather than in person, because he absolutely would throw a scene. No matter where you are, public or private. Think Sarah Lynn level shit.... like, literally stabbing himself, in public, to prove a point.

- What is the point? That he loves you!

- He's especially pissed off about the fact that you broke it off with him though. It bruised his ego, he would much, much prefer it if he had been the one to have broken up with you. He would have never done that though.

- He would go through the five stages of grief 100%

- For the first few days he's in DEEP denial about it. He'd go about life as though the two of you were still together, even though you weren't there.

- Pretending that you were on a work trip or something really helped. It gave him a sense of hope that one day you'd return to him, and he'd feel your warm body embraced against his once again.

- But you and Mammon were a big public thing, like, everyone knew about you. So, people started to notice your absence. Where you would always be by his side now bore an empty pocket of air. People started questioning it;

- From simple posts online to 666News interviews asking him invasive questions regarding your lack of publicity. It pissed him right off, because he couldn't pretend you were still with him whilst constantly being reminded that you weren't.

- And then you spoke up about the breakup.

- You made a Tweet regarding the status of your relationship. Que the next stage...

- With the world now aware of your distanced status Mammon was bombarded with crude comments and remarks, from your fans and haters, to his fans and haters. It'd range from "Wow Mammon fumbled the bag hard." to "Now that Mammon is single do you think he'll start letting groupies backstage ?"

- He actually refused to show up to a lot of interviews and talk-shows because every single time theu brought up the headline, he would get so, so angry. He's almost torn through an interviewer once or twice.

- His bargaining phase was the absolute worst phase though.

- Thousands of calls a day, and an equal level of voice messages followed by hundreds of texts. You'd block his number and then BAM, another number calls you. He manipulates the phone manufacturer of Hell to give him an unlimited free supply of phones so expect him to not let up in that department.

- You know that meme where the person is stood outside the door, crying, with an umbrella over their head and fake rain over them. That's him.

- He gets Beelzebub to provide the fake rain and probably prepared a whole speech to recite to you... its not that good though, most of it is deflective bullshit. He wont take his own problems into account at all.

- If you don't take him back after that then he may even resort to the old boombox by the window trick.

- I don't think he'd hit the depression or acceptance stages of grief, though. He's a tempermental character and he resorts to anger if something doesn't go his way. So the traits he shows through this whole ordeal is frustration and desperation.

- He has a strict victim complex too. So he's most likely never going to understand what he did wrong in the relationship.

- Even if he did realise what he did however, he isn't apologising. He expects you to understand and forgive him despite this.

-It would take him a long while to get over you.

-You were one of the only people who would put up with his shitty personality, who could make him feel so loved and adored. It had been a long, long time since someone had made him feel such a way. It was such a fleeting experience, and he will not be recovering from the loss of your love any time soon.

This is a little short, so I do apologise! I hope you enjoy it anon :)

#helluva boss x reader #mammon hb #mammon hb x reader #hb mammon #mammon helluva boss #hb mammon x reader #headcannons #breakup headcannons

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 3 months

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AITA for creating and running a gimmick blog?

A few months back, I was bored and decided to hop on the trend of gimmick blogs. Since I don't have any crazy skills like identifying cars or programming bots, I settled on something I thought was extremely simple: correcting typos. So I'll sometimes reblog posts that have typos in them and comment with corrections. I would only do this on posts that were already lighthearted or joking in tone; I would never derail a serious post with it. And I really haven't used it very often - maybe a couple times a week at most, just when I happen to notice a good candidate.

Well, recently I was inundated out of nowhere by a bunch of anons telling me this was a horribly offensive idea. According to them, I was insulting dyslexic people, non-native English speakers, people without access to education, and a whole bunch of other groups with these unwarranted corrections.

I had honestly never considered that angle, and I've paused using that blog so I can try and reflect on it. But when I replied to a couple of the asks asking for a better explanation of exactly how this was harmful - because I genuinely wanted to be informed - the vast majority of the replies, with few exceptions, were obscenely rude to me. I've been called classist, ableist, racist, and a lot of much worse words I don't care to repeat here. I blocked exactly two people because they were being extremely hateful in my notes, while still trying to engage with the more polite ones, but of course I still got accused of blocking and ignoring everyone I disagreed with.

The truth is, I'm still not sure whether or not I disagree with any of them on the actual subject at hand; I just can't deal with people being bitter and rude and assuming the worst of me. I tried to make it clear that I was more than willing to listen and have a conversation in good faith, but that has proved impossible.

So now I'm really hurt and really, really confused. I'm not going to just blindly trust a small group of hypocrites on the internet who claim they're worried about people's feelings while at the same time trying to completely villainize me as if I don't have feelings too. But I also understand that they might have a point. Sadly, politeness is not always correlated with correctness.

I absolutely do not want to continue running this gimmick blog if it's truly harmful and offensive to people. I've just never encountered this take before, and it was delivered with such vitriol that I had to take a break from tumblr entirely just to recover my sanity. So I'm hoping a much broader and less biased sample size will help to clear this up. I know an AITA poll isn't perfect, but it should do.

If I get a YTA verdict, I will delete the typo-correcting blog and stop immediately, no questions asked. If not, I'll know I just angered an extremely vocal minority that has no idea how to deal with conflict.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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beaker1636 · 5 months

Text

Tied Up - Noah Sebastian Smut

AN: Here we go, Noah bondage smut. Tied up with Christmas lights, not much of a plot, just straight up smut. Hope ya'll enjoyed this as much as I did writing it because I got into this one 🤣🤣🤣

“Why are you standing at my front door with several strands of Christmas lights?” You ask your boyfriend Noah, eyeing him suspiciously as you open the door.

He isn’t big on holidays, Christmas in particular so this is really out of character for him. In fact when you were putting up your decorations in your house last night he watched you, refusing to have any part in it and just sat there. It was a whole fight, you were upset feeling like you did it all yourself while he didn’t understand why you were upset. Ultimately it led to him storming out and going home, and you not feeling in the mood to finish your decorating and putting the tree up anymore so there it sits, nothing on it.

“Well I believe last night I told you to lighten up… and you told me to get into the holiday spirit so I come with a bit of a peace offering, and maybe some fun,” he gives you a sheepish grin when he steps into your house, hoping that you aren’t too angry with him from last night.

“Okay… and that is?” You question, eyeing him closely as you try to read his mind and figure out what he is getting at.

“Well you liked that one time when I tied you up right? So do you want to do it again? Only this time we would maybe use the string lights? Let me show you how sorry I am and that I am trying to get into the Christmas mood for you?”

At this point he has moved so he is standing over you, your back against the wall as he looks down at you, leaning in so close that his breath is ghosting over your ear and neck as he speaks.

“Let me make you feel good tonight baby, make up for last night.”

You swallow, suddenly more turned on than you probably should be at the thought of what he wants to do to you, and honestly you are unwilling to admit that to him.

“You think tying me up with Christmas lights will somehow make up for the fight you caused last night?” you question, trying to hide of for the obvious arousal you are feeling thanks to the man blocking you in.

“No, but the multiple orgasms I plan to give you might… and we both know how much you love it when I push you around, turn you into my little whore,” he whispers in your ear.

He brushes your hair off your shoulder on one side so that he can have access to your throat, leaving a light kiss before nibbling on the flesh there, causing you to let out a breathy moan as you press your legs together, telling him all he needs to know. That you want this even if you are trying to fight that you do.

“See, you want this just as much as I do. And think about how pretty you will look with nothing but these glowing against your skin as you fall apart on my tongue,” he slowly steps back from you, giving you the chance to turn him down but you don’t . Instead you find yourself nodding at him, giving in to what he wants.

“Good girl, let’s go to your room then,” he smirks at you as he begins leading you towards your bedroom, setting the bag down and then turning towards you.

He makes his way towards you, backing you against the wall before his lips find yours, much gentler than you are expecting them to be as they slowly draw you into the moment. Noah can tell that you are a little wound tight still, that he needs you to relax before he starts to bind you, so that is what he is currently working on. Kissing you gently as he slowly guides you towards your bed, slowly lifting the shirt you have on above his head, not missing that it is one of his own but choosing to ignore that fact for now. Your bra eventually follows, leaving you in only your panties in front of him as he continues.

He pulls away after he has you sit on the bed, that way he can plug the first strand in before sitting behind you, leaving kisses along your neck as he slowly brings your arms behind your back. Wrapping the cord around your wrists and gently binding them, making sure they aren’t so tight they’re digging into your skin.

“You look so pretty like this baby, the lights glowing against your skin,” he praises softly before moving to stand in front of you. Helping you to your knees in front of him before he kicks his sweatpants off, his erect cock now standing at full attention in front of your face as he strokes it, watching you.

“Open your mouth for me, fuck, that’s it,” he groans as you do, leaning forward slightly so you can take the head into your mouth.

You swirl your tongue around the head before leaving a couple teasing licks along the slit, wanting to drive him crazy with your mouth. He gladly lets you do it for a few moments, enjoying as he watches closely while your lips slowly lower on his dick, you bobbing your head as you begin to take more of him.

Fuck, he loves watching you when you blow him but it’s even better watching you do so while your hands are behind your back, knowing that you can’t pull yourself away from him even if you had wanted to.

He soon grows tired of this, of you barely taking him as, so he pulls your head down to make you take all of him at once, holding you there with a groan when he can feel your throat constrict around him. Tears building in your eyes as you choke around him before he lets you go, giving you a moment to catch your breath before giving an experimental roll of his hips to see if you accept it without complaint before he begins to do so.

“Can I fuck your pretty mouth tonight baby?” He asks, waiting for you to indicate it is okay.

When you nod your head he thrusts into your mouth again, starting slowly so you can get used to it before he begins going harder. Letting out low groans as he seeks his own pleasure, letting you know how good you are at taking him as he continues until he draws close.

Right before he finishes he pulls himself out of your mouth with a pop, moving so he can help you get back up off the floor and having you kick your panties off before laying down on the bed for him.

“Are you still fine with your hands being behind your back? I can move them if this is too uncomfortable while I am doing your ankles,” he asks, looking up at you from where he stands at the foot of the bed.

“I’m fine,” you answer, watching him closely as he takes your ankles, tying each one to one of your bed posts with more strands of the lights, you watching him as he does.

When you’re secure he looks up at you with a smirk, really enjoying the view of you all spread open, at his mercy to do as he pleases. He can edge you all night if he chose, or make you finish over and over if he chose to. He enjoys having this power over you, getting to do as he pleases while you just lay there and take it.

He leans over you, giving you a light kiss before he begins to trail his lips down your throat. Leaving little marks as he goes, loving the bruises he is leaving along your skin, reminders of who you belong to that’ll stay for the next few days. He knows you’ll probably be pissed when you realize that he left a couple in visible places, but that is a fight he is willing to deal with later.

You let out a gasp when his lips dip lower, taking one of your nipples in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around it, then lightly biting down as you let out a breathy moan, feeling yourself growing more and more wet with each pass of his tongue across the sensitive peak while his fingers roll the other one between his fingers. Building you up, teasing you relentlessly, wanting you aching for his touch between your thighs before he ever makes it there.

He slowly begins to trail his lips down your torso, but skips from your belly to your thighs, passing over the place that you currently want him most. Chuckling against your skin when you whine from the lack of contact.

“Patience, this will all be worth it,” he says softly before biting down on your thigh, leaving a mark where he was before he pulls away.

Looking up at your face from between your thighs as he runs a finger through your folds, gathering some of your arousal on it before circling your clit with it, you almost instantly whimper at the contact, at how great the simple act feels.

“Fuck, you’re this wet and all I’ve really done is play with you tits,” he says in amazement, but mostly to himself, almost blown away at how big of a mess he is currently making of you with barely any contact. “Do you want me to use my mouth or my fingers on you first?”

He continues to barely brush your clit as he asks, enjoying when you try to squirm from his movements but can’t. Enjoying when you realize that it is useless and he can see the frustration cross your face.

When you don’t respond you are met with a stinging slap to your thigh, making you gasp as you shift your hips slightly.

“I believe I asked you a question princess. How do you want me to make you cum the first time hmm?” He asks you again, now glaring at you from where he is, irritated that you aren’t responding like you are supposed to be.

“I, I want your mouth on me, please?” You ask, turning slightly red as you blush from the embarrassment of being forced to ask him for what you want. The two of you have done so many things like this but you still don’t like voicing what you want from him, and you are starting to think you never will be comfortable with dirty talk in any capacity.

“That’s better, thank you,” he says.

He leans down and dives right in, using his tongue to run it from your hole to your clit several times, making you impatient before he finally wraps his lips around your clit and sucks it harshly. Making you moan and attempt to shift your hips but finding you are unable to.

“Be good and stay still or I’ll stop,” he mumbles before smugly running his tongue across your clit again. He pulls away long enough to smirk when he sees how wet you are, watching as you begin to drip on your thighs, knowing that it is him and him alone that is turning you into an absolute mess.

His tongue traced the line of liquid up your thigh, loving the taste of you before he sucks on your clit again, his tongue running circles on it as his lips continue to stay wrapped around it, making you let out a gasp, finding yourself growing close at his actions. You try your hardest to stay still, to not move at all as your high hits you but you fail, arching your back when you cum against his lips without much warning. Instantly feeling guilty you broke the rule that he gave you.

“Shit, that was beautiful. Should I make you cum again princess? I think maybe I should make you with my fingers too, and then my cock. What do you think?” He asks you, smirking up at you as your breathing evens out after you finally come back down from the high he just gave you.

“Please?” you ask softly, not really having it in you to say much else but knowing that he won’t accept just a nod for an answer right now.

He dips his head back down, lightly running his tongue over your sensitive clit before abruptly slipping two of his fingers inside of you. You are so wet that he is met with almost no resistance as he sinks them inside of you. He pulls his hand back only to thrust his fingers back inside of you, rough, as he pulls his mouth away from you.

He wants to watch your face as you come undone for him again, to see how much pleasure he can bring you with just his hand.

He continues to thrust his fingers inside of you, rough and unforgiving as his thumb begins to rub your clit, adding to the building orgasm that you can feel creeping up on you. Loving the little sounds that keep dropping out of your mouth as you try to hold back the feeling you are currently experiencing. He gives you a particularly hard thrust out of nowhere, you moaning at the sensation, at the sting.

His thrusts of his fingers getting rougher and rougher as the pressure on your clit increases, you finding it hard to keep quiet this time as he pulls you closer and closer to the edge. He leans up to give you a kiss as he continues, you tasting yourself on his lips as he pulls you over the edge, your second orgasm of the night hitting you harshly. Him slowing down his movements as you ride it out before halting, giving you several light kisses as you come back down, telling you how amazing you are doing.

“Okay, are you ready for my cock?” He asks you, leaning down to untie your legs.

When you nod, giving him the okay, he flips you onto your stomach, your hands still tied as he pushes your face down into the mattress while your ass is up.

“I’m going to be rough with you, let me know if it is too much,” he says, pressing one last gentle kiss against your shoulder before he pulls back. Appreciating the view in front of him, how smooth your skin is under his hands.

He is able to see just how wet you are, coating your thighs and glistening in the light of the room. It pleases him to no end that he is the reason why you are this way, that it is him that you are craving so badly right now.

Without a warning he pushes inside of you, making you cry out both from surprise but also the slight sting of pain as his hard cock stretches you out. No matter how many times you have taken him it still feels so wonderful when he first enters you. Both of you groan at the feeling as he begins to thrust, deep but forceful dispute the fact that he is begging slowly.

One hand resting on your hips as he brings your body back into his as he pushes forward, each thrust getting harder and harder as he goes, watching how your body jolts and moves with each thrust of his hips against yours.

Your body feels amazing around him, how wet you are, the way that you are clenching around him, shit it has him close. He knows that he will not last long from this but judging how you are clenching around him and moaning, he doesn’t think that you are going to last too long either.

Snaking a hand down underneath you he begins to rub your clit again, wanting, no needing to make you finish one last time before he does. Wanting to stay true to his word about making you fall apart with his mouth, hand and cock like he threatened earlier. Wanting to feel you cum around him, milking him for his own release.

You are so overstimulated from already finishing twice that it doesn’t take much, you falling apart one last time within seconds of him finding your clit, collapsing down on the bed as he continues to ram his hips into yours chasing his own release now. He groans, slowing his movements down as he finishes inside of you before stilling. Watching closely at how his cum slowly leaks out of you as he pulls out, moving to untie your wrists for you.

Once you are untied you roll over, staring at the ceiling as your chest heaves, trying to catch your breath as he lays next to you, his head on your shoulder. You don’t say anything as you lay there, turning your head so that you could kiss him.

He whispers praises to you, telling you how good you did and how beautiful you looked all tied up before getting up and returning with a washcloth, cleaning the mess you both left on your thighs off before glancing at you.

“Why don’t you settle into a warm shower, help soothe your muscles that are probably aching at this point while I change your sheets. I’ll join you in a couple minutes baby,” he says softly, rubbing the red marks that are on your wrists as he helps you up off the bed.

“That sounds wonderful, I’ll see you in a few minutes, I love you” you say softly, giving him a kiss before you make your way to the bathroom. The fight from the night before is not forgotten, but figuring that it isn’t worth worrying about tonight.

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