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writing-for-life · 8 months

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Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads.

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions”

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions.

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think.

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters.

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message.

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out.

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans.

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

#fandom discourse #fandom blindspots #sandman meta #sandman spoilers #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #nada #morpheus #sandman

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sapph1cyearning · 3 months

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Wilhelm's Mental Health; Autism or Borderline Personality Disorder?

Wilhelm’s mental health status is a complex issue that has been heavily commentated on by the fandom, from what I've observed within the YR fandom, a large number of fans headcanon Wilhelm as having autism but I hope to explore autism and it's symptomology outside of the white male perspective that is defaulted upon in autistic representation by overviewing symptoms that contribute to the interpretations of Wilhelm having either Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). These two disorders can show up in similar forms, and often get misdiagnosed (especially women and non-white people are immediately pointed toward the BPD diagnosis rather than ASD due to assessor’s prejudice and society's higher expectations for minority groups to mask autistic traits while in public). A key difference between the two is that ASD is a genetic disorder while BPD is a disorder that develops due to childhood trauma. Both disorders have a high likelihood for comorbidity with other mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Content Warning: Frank commentary of symptoms associated with Borderline Personality Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder, including: self-harm, substance abuse, and emotional dysregulation.

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional but I am autistic, and I’ve known quite a number of people with either BPD or autism [In my teenage years, I stayed at a long-term DBT-based treatment center, a therapeutic specialty for created to address BPD that has been expanded to treat other mental health struggles and disorders that go hand-in-hand with BPD symptoms (Substance abuse, self-harm, OCD, etc.)]. This is also solely based on what is seen in the show, not actors' interpretations that are expressed through interviews.

Throughout the series Wilhelm (W) is seen engaging in a multitude of behaviors and experiences feelings that he expresses verbally that could be interpreted as fitting as symptoms of both.

Notably the scene where W is seen smacking his temple with his palm (1x05) can be interpreted as either: purposeful self-harm (a common self-destructive coping mechanism for overwhelming emotions in BPD; his alcohol and drug use could be described similarly) or a self-stimulatory behavior (stimming), a characteristic of ASD to aid in regulating or expressing intense emotions (while W is engaging in this with a “negative” emotion, stimming is used with all emotions), other example include his chest-rubbing, and frequent caressing of different textures.

Intense mood-swings, anger, and difficulties with emotion processing, this is quite evident in W's actions, emotional responses, and feelings he expresses verbally. Both disorders have been observed to have intense changes of emotions at a “drop of a hat.” ASD mood-swings are typically related to exposure to sensory input that is quite uncomfortable, overstimulation, and/or meltdowns (breakdowns due to a culmination of intense feelings, sensory input and/or overwhelming experiences). BPD mood-swings and impulsive actions are more related to triggers of trauma responses, and a lack of regulatory measures

Symptoms Specific to Each Disorder:

BPD:

Attachment to Favorite Person (FP), a symptom of BPD where one idolizes one person in their life to an extreme degree, wanting to spend all their time with their FP, and intense anger and despair with perceived betrayals/slights against them/mistakes. W goes through 2 FPs (Erik and Simon). He adores Erik, and feels betrayal when Erik leaves him at Hillerska. Simon quickly becomes a FP, seeing him as perfect and feeling betrayal when Simon messes up (drug dealing) and the utter despair and hopelessness when Simon needs space and starts dating Marcus; “It feels like I’m going to die” (2x04) (Could be a consequence of being utterly isolated due to being Royal and latching onto anyone who shows care to him)

Unstable / Ineffective Relationships (Simon, Kristina, Minou, and other hierarchy figures): BPD is often associated with people with the disorder lashing out against "completely innocent" people for "no reason", while this can be accurate, it does not account for the triggering of such episodes (See above)

Substance Abuse: People with BPD may utilize alcohol and/or other substances to "numb themselves" from BPD symptoms or distance themselves from harmful memories (autistic people also experience substance abuse and addiction at higher rates than the general allistic population but it is often seen as a crutch to cope with the constant stress of existing in an allistic world which is not implied in what pulls W to substance use throughout the show)

ASD:

Expansion on Sensory Issues: W seemingly wears the same sweater-button up combo often, just with different sweater colors — Grey, teal, and that god-awful bright orange — ensures safe textures when buying new items but he might just have a clothing stylist with horrid taste. W's struggles with the suffocating feel of the suit (2x05). He rarely utilized the overhead lights in his room, instead relied on his string lights, lamps or natural lighting (Florescent and LED lights can trigger light sensitivity and contribute to sensory processing difficulties in autistic people)

Preoccupation with the concept of normalcy (1x01), as a kid being autistic often ostracizes you from your peers, being deemed the “weird kid” is very damaging thus W may have been enticed by the prospect attending a regular high school to like "normal people" (this concept is intrinsically tied to social class throughout the show, W wants normalcy of a lower class while Sara wants conform to a higher class but that's a different spiel). This can lead to masking; the act of forcing oneself to hide their autistic traits in order to fit into Allistic norms. (My one dispute to this interpretation is he's seemingly more disgruntled by the pomp and circumstance of being Royal that "others" him rather than peers judging him)

Lack of social cues (Not even going to waste my time explaining this one, the man had no game, absolutely none, it’s a wonder that he pulled Simon)

This far from a full list of symptoms seen in W's characterization but it's a broad overview of the signs I saw from an autistic lens. I lean towards Wille having Borderline Personality Disorder based on the fact that significant aspects of Autism Spectrum Disorder can be correlated to his unfortunate circumstance of being royalty.

#young royals #young royals analysis #prince wilhelm #wilmon #Was this entire thing inspired by a Wille / BoJack Horseman edit I saw on tiktok? Yes yes it was

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wataksampingan · 1 year

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Spoilers for Ep 69 COZ OF COURSE I'M SCREAMING (as well as Ep 70 and beyond coz I apparently hate myself and spoiled myself on Naver Webtoon. Again.)

It's a SUPREMELY interesting choice of translation in that scene where Theo has to pretend he knows how to behave like a normal loving husband. The English line the translator chose is "Isn't that right, Pereshati?"

Which is fine, coz 1) he doesn't call her anything different, and 2) this is a far more subtle shift - Theo only says her name in highlighted moments (e.g. when he fell off the bed, when he noticed her a little unsettled by his ferocity in the last chapter). Otherwise, his dialogue doesn't use her name at all. So this is him trying to emphasise their closeness... by using her full name (Lord love you Therdeo Lapileon, you hopeless dork)

However. In the original hangul, he outright calls her 부인 (buin) - 'wife'. Just to hammer in the awkwardness of "HI YES HELLO WE ARE EXTREMELY MARRIED, YES THIS IS MY TRUE, LEGIT WIFE, NOTHING ELSE GOING ON HERE" (the Webtoon comment that called him "an underrated comedy king" should be one of the top comments of the YEAR coz it's truer than we could've ever hoped)

Anyway, in modern usage(?) apparently its considered impolite to refer to your own wife as "buin" (someone better versed in Korean, please enlighten me)? It's more appropriately used to refer to another person's wife. But technically speaking, MILAOWM is set in some... 18th-19th century world so I would argue it could be okay to use...?

It's possible that it could be an equivalent to the way "madam" was used in the Regency era when men would and did call their own wives "madam". It was considered a proper term of address back then so I can only suppose "부인" in this regard can act the same way. But, I also recognise it would be a pain in the ass to translate it as "isn't that right, madam?" and then have the entire fanbase go berserk over why he's calling her something we mostly recognise as a formal term for strangers these days.

The... unofficial, let's say, translation went with "isn't that right honey?" which, while it would have achieved the same effect as 부인on the readership, also isn't quite the most accurate read on the line.

Literally speaking, the translation would have been: "Right, wife?"

...which would have been hilarious, but also WAY too close to Borat and just... undermines his dignity as a ML, possibly to irreparable extents (maybe? I don't think I would have minded coz there is really no fooling us at this point: Theo can do cool things if he puts his mind to it, but his default is Socially Awkward)

But because I'm biased: just you wait, Perry. We're all waiting with you for the time he smiles at you with his whole heart and you MELT - JUST WAIT.

Anyway, I thought that was just interesting and just makes me determined to keep Google Translating my way through the Naver versions. Also reading it on Naver is how I found the April Fool's 4koma and let's not go there coz I'm already thoroughly distracted.

The hand holding is just icing on the cake. Theo shattered me into pieces for a variety of reasons, but the hand holding is just *chef's kiss*. At this point, this is all progress on Theo's part ("if it's Pereshati, it's okay also I'm in love but no one say anything about that yet") it'll be another long wait until she figures out that she's fallen for him (so we hope) We are all Vicountess Otiz at this point.

We are also all Gloria Lapileon. MADAM. YOUR GRACE, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING.

That determined LOOK on her face in Episode 70 after she sort of denies Daniel a chance to play Cupid since Theo clearly hasn't made any progress in wooing Perry. That is the expression of a Grandmother with A Plan to Help Her Awkward Grandson Win the Hand of the Fair Lady who Saved Her Great Grandson/Family. I know she's been given the idiot ball to hold this whole time with regards to her own family and their household, but I love this matriarch and I wish her every success.

Meanwhile, the other current love of my life, Pereshati - is so tired of shenanigans and having to worry about so many people. I'm crying. She literally mutters to herself, "Why am I surrounded by weak* men?" and the bodyguard nearby, in utter shock, thinks to himself 'd-does she mean even the Grand Duke?'

[*the 'weak' here can refer to physically weak in hangul]

Just to preempt the "PERESHATI DON'T BE MEAN" comments, look at this from her perspective:

Count Jahardt: been sickly most of her adult life

Theo Lapileon: has just recovered from seizures, severe blood loss and a 3 day coma, and is honestly more fragile than he lets on

Adeus Potson: has been hurt twice, looks like a puff of air could blow him over

Celphius Lapileon: probably not included in her list, but he's still a wee babby, also full of toxic blood, and must be protected at all times

She's just so tired, guys. Exhausted by everything. Men, essentially (the women are also exhausting but they're not as fragile).

Also she doesn't have the full picture of the kind of demons Theo has been fighting/Adeus' true motives (though that is about to come SHOOTING OUT THE LEFT GATE) so we'll see how this shakes out eventually if/when she finds everything out.

I am not ready for Ep 75 being the season 1 finale. Truly I am Not Ready, but it must be done of course. I don't know how seungu is doing but I hope they're able to rest and recuperate and take care of themselves so this series can continue fucking me up being lovely and the target of my current obsession.

Shout out to Islette and Phineas - please let this father-daughter side relationship be given a spin-off/side stories coz poor Islette has been subjected, undoubtedly, to Phineas' unceasing tutoring coz he's a well-meaning worrywart and probably wants her to get up to the level of literacy she should have at her age (regardless of the trauma) and I just want to see how Phineas learns and grows to become the most whipped papa in the world

Honestly: who run this world? Girls.

(Okay, girls AND Marvin and Celphi, coz that map foreshadowing is heavy; why is Schwartz not considered a vassal state of Castor, despite having been defeated recently? HMMM.)

#MILAOWM #my in laws are obsessed with me #my in-laws are obsessed with me #unhealthy rambling of a diseased mind #translation is a fascinating art #do your best Grand Duke #you're fighting some Tall odds #but you can get there #MILAOWM episode reactions #spoilers #MILAOWM spoilers

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adrift-in-thyme · 6 months

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any tips for writing? Just started and would rlly appreciate tip :)

First off it’s super cool that you’ve started writing!! Second off I took entirely too long to reply to this and I’m very sorry!!

Ok so tips…

My biggest suggestion would be to READ. Read all the genres and authors you can get your hands on. It helps more than anything else with figuring out how plots work, how descriptions and dialogue work (and what went wrong when they don’t), how long you want chapters to be, sentence structure…everything really. It can even help with grammar (I’m hopeless when it comes to grammar but looking at a published and edited book is much more helpful than reading from a grammar book or website). Plus, if an author does something you like you can kinda incorporate it into your own works. I have no doubt my writing style is a combo of all the different writers I’ve read and loved through the years with my own personality thrown in.

Also remember to make it fun. Once writing becomes another job it’s torture. Take breaks when you need it (a nice walk or just doing something else for a bit does wonders for creative burnout). Writing in a place that’s calm or pretty (if you can) and creating a writing playlist helps too. And remember to be gracious to yourself. Writing is fun but it’s also challenging. Take it at your own pace and try not to compare yourself to others (something I really need to stop doing myself lol).

Also if you find a specific genre or type of writing you really love, hone in on that! Like my niche is whump and hurt/comfort. I can write other stuff but this is what I always default to. I’ve read it for years and now I’ve been writing it for years. And even on my most insecure day I can’t deny writing it for this long has helped me improve. Exploring different writing is great and necessary for growth! But focusing on something can really help you figure out what works and what doesn’t. And in the end can help you figure out what works and doesn’t for other characters, fandoms, and genres.

#I think that’s it lol #sorry I couldn’t come up with more #hope that helps!#and sorry again for the delay!#best of luck with your writing endeavors!#asks #trin answers #lovely anon

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astromechs · 10 months

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hi!!! hope you’re having a good day <3

for the fanfic writer emoji ask:

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

💋 first kiss fics. love em or hate em?

i'm an absolute sucker for them. i'm very secretly a hopeless romantic, and i love the awkwardness of trying to express feelings and enter into/navigate a relationship. so, yeah, there's a LOT that a first kiss fic can accomplish, and i definitely have a lot more in me!

🥺 is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

i really love when people who have a lot of trauma are able to open themselves up to trusting another person, and those people being there for each other. just... little moments of emotional vulnerability and support like that. those are the types of things i feel like i base all my writing on, because that's just, that's where the good stuff is. trust and connection; learning you're not alone.

🤩 who is your favorite character to write?

this is hard, so i'll name a few! jyn erso, who's been one of my favorite characters to write for several years now. also my man cassian andor; i'm a little less confident in his voice than i am in jyn's, so i tend to default to her more often, but man, when i get into his headspace it's SO GOOD (by which i mean it's sad. but it's good). matt murdock also became an unexpected favorite for me last fall, but i just really love the way he processes through the world — and his abilities make for a really interesting exercise in using sensory imagery without using visuals at all that's just really rewarding. my guy rich rider goes without saying, of course. i always really love gamora's pov. and wanda maximoff has a really interesting perspective on the world, too.

fan fic writer emoji ask!

#asks #percyshotgirlsummer #thank you! i'm doing great <3 how are you?

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lesenbyan · 2 years

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A-D for Eve and Cyn

Uncommon Questions for OCs and their creators

you're gonna get a bonus Aki on some of these just bc they're a set by design and I sure you'll find aome way to deal with that horrible truth (that's sarcasm for anyone who can't tell)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

It's hard to put into words with OCs so old. Part of my love for both of them is both nostalgia and reclamation. As I'm sure I've told you before, the girls were created via back and forth character development with the person who then became my first ex (and my only Traumatic Breakup) so my development of them fizzled for a while, but Eve's always been my default go-to OC

And that is bc my thoughts in my own head aren't....clear? I think most in impressions and vibes with a Single conscious thought possible at a time, if I'm gonna remember it anyway, which makes character development without a sounding board really hard. So for years Eve was my only fleshed out OC bc 1) she's the more social one so I pull together her story easier and faster without having to pull teeth to get it from her and 2) she's got a lot more of. Who I used to be and wishfullfilment in her so it's easier to figure her out.

and, in contrast, I love Cyn (and Aki) bc they're difficult to figure out. Cyn's selective mutism is hard for me to write bc I'm not great at show don't tell so writing her when not through the lens of Eve who Knows Her can be very hard and when writing her as her is hard bc I'm also not great at nonverbal communication. But that's fun for me, and it requires me to understand other neurodivergences irl which is a big bonus

B) What inspired you to create them?

again, as mentioned above, they were being created with an ex. I'm not sure exactly if I had any real inspiration for them past the fact of "I'm friends with writers, I'm the [child] of a writer, my brother's a writer, and i write fanfics now, surely this means I have to make up characters" and like. Faulty logic, but I poured into Eve (and the story around her) everything I wanted for my future. I'm not quite certain why I created Cyn in all of it. Like in their original mostly scrapped story Aki and Eve's roles were clear but Cyn didn't have one. I invented a role for her but I could never think of a way for that to tie into what Eve was doing apart from the fact of Aki and Cyn being twins. She only really started getting development when I decided I wanted a "adorable and Bloodthirsty" character but even now I have issues trying to figure out exactly where and how Cyn fits sometimes, for all I love her and know she cannot be removed from Eve and Aki anymore.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

I- well I kinda went into this above, but to further expound the issue always was that Aki was a metaphor for depression (and possibly suicide coming to think on it) and Eve was her White Knight and I've never quite figured out where Cyn fits in that. Eve's always been easy, she's a protector and a lover and a martyr if she has to be, even if she's angry about her mission, she does it bc it's her mission, as you see with her attitude and mental state in recent events in XIV and Aki's hopeless despair romanticized and turned "beautiful" whereas Cyn's... Cyn was anger at one point but that doesn't fit her. Like don't get me wrong, you don't want to piss her off, but she's much more stable and self contained than that. I've recently ish come to realize she's also a protector but a different kind- Eve protects the world, Cyn protects her own. But I'm still not sure where that fits in with even the base original narrative with the other two girls.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

Cyn has! she's always been on the mid to short side of average, medium build, and adorably dressed. I would always imagine her in a right red empire waist knee length dress with a black under bust corset and matching bright red like 3-5" heels. And a giant axe. She and her sister (as you can likely guess somewhat from the names) were meant to be Fantasy East Asian looking and then. had none of the culture. bc i was a 13yo weeb (and if i ever revist them outside of fandoms I will either adjust them/their designs and/or their culture accordingly)

Whereas, as we kinda briefly touched on last night while talking about Eve's patron, she's actually slid around a lot. She was originally far more self insert so she was my skin tone and skinny, at a certain point I....in some weird ass logical leap, decided to make her vaguely middle eastern looking (bc of the skin tone??? despite being lived experience that tone =/= nationality or race????) but I didn't do much with her then and when i went to revisit her just went ".....having none of the culture here make this feel gross, she's back to self insert-ish." And one of her defining qualities has always been "attractive" so there was a years long war in my head bc I prefer women mid sized and up but society prefers skinny women and I was never sure how to marry the two so her weight was always inconsistent. Until recently. When I've just been loudly declaring that she is fat and she is gorgeous and she loves her size.

#Eve;#Evelynn;#Cyn;#Cynthia;#sezja;#asks;#ask meme;#this was wordier than I feel is expected from the meme #but there's A Lot behind characters that I've had for literally 14 yrs #and have thus also been effected massively by my teen years my DP/DR my need for validation and my understanding of society #IT IS WORTH NOTING: that while Eve was vaguely middle eastern I did MEAN to do research and incorporate it (bc a separation from identity #has always been part of her story) but I accepted later that I don't have the time energy or means to do that at the time #so if I was to keep playing her she needed to go back to her original design if I didn't wanna be approaching (if not actually at) racism

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rivetgoth · 2 years

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Sorry I didn’t read close enough before asking But damn I didn’t expect so much advice, but like one of my biggest problems is I’m monogamous. Based on talking to my friends and just my interactions in the LGBTQ+ community in general I’d say most gay men are not monogamous and even in committed relationships tend to have a third and participate in group situations that I’m not comfortable with and never will be comfortable with. I already have being trans against me but when you add the dating/hooking up with one person at a time to it it’s so fucked. I’ve been attracted to other transmen but generally I don’t know if my dysphoria could take being with one as well, I know I sound like a bastard but it’s just where I’m at. Not to get pathetic and stuff but while who I am inside has always been masculine and my body generally matches it now I’ve never opened up to polyamory or polycules and I feel like there’s something wrong with me as a man for being that way.

Look dude, I genuinely don't mean this rudely but I seriously am not sure where you are that you think that polyamory or nonmonogamy is like, a default expectation for men because it REALLY isn't. The idea that gay men aren't interested in monogamous committed relationships and are only thinking about sex and hooking up is sort of a stereotype, like obviously many ARE into hookups or just casual sex, as are plenty of women and straight people of both genders as well, but there are sooooo many men with the exact same feelings as you, who are looking to settle down with somebody that they love. If it helps at all I was looking for some statistics to back up my lived experiences and a study from last year suggested about 30% of gay men are in open relationships, which is obviously a minority -- higher than heterosexual couples, yes, but to be blunt, of course a community built from sexual oppression and subjugation meant to celebrate nonnormative sex is going to have a higher amount of people who are into these things, thinking about "relationship anarchy" and reframing the idea of sex and relationship as something meant for pleasure and exploration rather than for the cishetero nuclear family. But it's still not even 50:50. Put into perspective then that if you met 10 gay guys, roughly 3 of them would be into open relationships. And even amongst that 30% there's a wide variety of how that openness actually plays out.

Honestly unless you're in some really specific kinky spaces IRL or actually actively seeking out the gay hookup or cruising scene I would say that in basically all of general society (including the mainstream LGBT community) monogamy is still the standard expectation and anything outside of that is viewed as a deviation from the norm. I also think that the vast, vast majority of men would be kinda puzzled to hear the suggestion that being down with polyamory or polycules is some sort of expectation for masculinity, that's not even true in mainstream cishet society where a man being a good husband to his wife is wayyyy more prioritized than the kinda stereotypical frat guy sleeping around with girls, which stops being cute to like 99% of people the moment he's like, over the age of 21. Idk, man. I do not think you sound like a bastard or pathetic and I've been in spots pretty similar to yours I think, like I said in my last reply it's really fucking hard navigating relationships and self esteem and dysphoria and safety and risk taking as a trans person, and it can feel super hopeless if you haven't had much luck. I definitely have been in places in my life where I would not have been comfortable dating another trans person, because my own insecurities and dysphoria was just too bad and I KNOW I would have projected it onto them and either ended up insecure about myself or bitter towards them. Knowing yourself is important and knowing what would be unhealthy for both you and a potential partner is good. But I think I'd honestly suggest engaging more with IRL gay social spaces in general and talking to more gay men, both trans and cis. Or just engaging more and more with the LGBT community in general IRL. This sounds kinda mean maybe but I think the whole polyamory/multiple partners thing is actually more common to see amongst online gays in part because most people are long distance, so that can also sorta skew your view of these things. You would be surprised to realize how incredibly common it is to find men who are just looking for love and a connection and a committed relationship with someone who they care about, many of whom may even feel equally ostracized from certain LGBT spaces that are more kink or sex oriented.

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dailyrandomwriter · 2 months

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Day 563

Something in my brain clicked in the past two weeks.

A good portion of it was because of the ADHD medication, but not in the way most people would assume.

Here is the thing about taking ADHD medication, and having it work for you, after years of thinking you’re just kind of hopeless.

First, is that you realize that the long periods of time it had taken you to do fucking anything is not normal. Sitting like a bump on a log for 30 minutes, one hour… two hours… an ungodly amount of hours isn’t something most people do.

Second, this explains why my co-workers can have a job and have kids. I still think having both for myself is an overwhelming idea, but I now have a better idea of how they can manage it, because there is more time in the day than I realize.

Third, I am not as hopeless as I thought I was, and I’m slowly learning I am also not as lazy as I was led to believe.

Finally, having the medication work so starkly has given me permission to say, yes I have ADHD and I should email/text myself a reminder before I forget (you dumbass). Yes, I will call myself a dumbass, because for the past 20+ years I have unconsciously lived my life like I wouldn’t forget something the moment it left my brain matter.

To be fair, for the most part, my memory has always been relatively good even outside of my fixations. There is a reason why I can do my job, because I have a good recall memory, however, I have a bad short term memory. If I get interrupted in the middle of doing something or I get told to do something but cannot do it right away there is less than 50% chance I will remember to do the thing.

Which was why, coming back to work, after a second week of being on the medication I decided, fuck this, I am emailing myself so I won’t forget. At least a dozen of those emails in my work inbox are probably from me. Either because I got interrupted and wanted to remember where I was at, or because I said I would do a thing but not doing it right that second.

It took a load off my brain I didn’t know existed, and it’s a practice I really need to learn to do more in my personal life.

(I also should maybe warn my co-workers to stop messaging me with tasks and email me instead as a default.)

#adhd #why didn't I do this sooner?#also my journal is telling me I need to write a story #why did I put that as a thing to do?

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dialsdrnk · 3 months

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new muses added ! i also dropped a few who i hadn't done anything with. under the cut, there's some introductions. <;3 please like if you want me to come plot with you for any of them.

phillip "lip" fry. jeremy strong. 45. bisexual. he/him — coo of a multi-billion media company, divorced, absolute failure of a father and husband. few redeeming qualities, overall public menace. disclaimer: highly inspired off of kendall roy, not even gonna lie about it. he's like kendall but written by someone who's never seen succession. me, i've seen like 3 episodes. selective muse.

jeffrey love. timothy olyphant. 54. bisexual. he/him — starting out strong with another bad father, jeff. he's a sports agent who has been married once, young, had a son and promptly fucked off; however, he's now taking a turn and after years of partying and traveling the world, he's decided to get sober and try to get his life together. he's high energy, think chris traegar from parks and rec, a little wild, too charismatic for his own ( and your own ) good. semi-selective muse.

jack love. wolfgang novogratz. 25. gay. he/him — good boy poet, turned calculated lawyer. pretty much all of jack's problems can be traced to ^ that guy — at least, if you ask jack about it, that's the case. he's full of himself, just as sickeningly charismatic as his dad is and mad about it, and is quite honestly a nepo baby who's had everything handed to him. struggles with his sexuality due to some traumatic bullying that left him unable to do athletics anymore in high school. despite his hard shell, he is still very much a hopeless romantic, and has a deep love for literature.

aurora "rory" everett. kaylee bryant. 22. pansexual. she / they — comes from a deeply troubled family, the youngest half-sibling of my muse, axel. rory's studying to be a veterinarian and she's always operated with a dreamy kind of mellow demeanor — a stark contrast to her older brother. she's gentle, kind, patient, and a natural leader, but she also really struggles not to keep people at an arm's distance due to the nature of her upbringing.

dani lee. hwang yeji. 21. lesbian. she / they / he — youngest of a very prestigious, very toxic family. not much was ever expected of dani as the fifth and most averagely skilled of her siblings, so she gets away with a lot more than they do — they're also not particularly close, except for her and flynn. she's coasting by in college, keeps changing her major, skates, basically just does whatever because she can. nothing but good times with this one. you know, until things start getting real.

merlin aurelia. tom holland. 25. gay. he/him — i don't really know what to say about this guy. in human verses, which be the default unless requested otherwise, he hops from gig to gig and scams people he thinks are dumb. he's an every man for himself kind of guy, lost his mom young, and has no sentiment towards his dad that isn't vile. in supernatural/superhero verses, he's a bloodbender, caught up in crime, and extremely unpredictable. chaotic evil is probably the alignment here? mix of that and chaotic neutral.

august "auggie" guidry. jonathan daviss. 23. pansexual. he/him — auggie's a part of a big, loving family and he is the definition of just a dude. low expectations in life, low worries; put out good in the world and it'll come back to you, probably, guy. he's autistic ( like me! my baby for real ), a college student, and he signs every one of his texts with the frog emoji. he can do frog impressions like you wouldn't believe. nothing else though, he's not a voice actor. he actually has no idea what he wants to do with his life, and could probably stand to be a little more curious about that.

#; ➢ ( ooc ) — 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥; 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐝.

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prettyboykatsuki · 3 years

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»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — ««

sfw alphabet | k. tetsuro

➳ tags ;; fluff, angst, alcohol + sex mention but nothing explicit

➳ a/n ;; reupload from my old blog that an anon asked for <3

»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — ««

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

➳ Kuroo is a genuinely affectionate person towards his loved ones. Naturally, he does like to mess with you just a bit by withholding kisses or hugs - but truthfully he can’t push it too much because he really likes showing you attention.

➳ Also despite himself and his love for teasing you, Kuroo isn’t a big fan of PDA! He likes having a hand resting on your back, rubbing circles into your hand and squeezing, or a very quick kiss to the temple when no ones looking but he prefers to show his soft side when it’s the two of you alone. He can go from making fun of you to wrapping his strong arms around you and whispering sweet nothings to you in a matter of seconds

➳ Kuroos affection isn’t limited to touch, or is it even really dictated by touch. His love language is acts of service and quality time - so he more often than not shows his affection through gestures. Warm towels if you’re at his place, taking your car to get filled with gas, putting ice on your snowy sidewalk so you make it home safe. Kuroo’s nonchalance towards everything is genuinely funny contrast to how truly and utterly considerate he is towards you and your well-being.

➳ Maybe not conventionally affectionate but affectionate all the same.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

➳ Kuroo is the kind of best friend that you have for like..10+ years. If you two feel truly platonically towards one another - he’s the kind of best friend that makes other people in your life insecure because you simply know each other so well and love each other so much in the sense that you’re platonic soulmates.

➳ There’s probably no one in the world who knows you quite as well as Kuroo does and it goes the same for you. Neither of you can ever stop being friends because you two know too damn much about the other. Kuroo knows about the weird moles and pimples on your body and you know about his weird boner stories from when you two were in middle and highschool. You really can’t afford to stop being friends, so good luck trying to escape him.

So. Many. Inside Jokes. Y’all are terrible sometimes. I don’t think either of you ever realize how many you’ve got and you end up referring to them so normally sometimes people don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about and everyone just kinda sighs and lets you two talk on your own. AND yall wonder why no one wants to talk to you two… like you aren’t busy just talking to each other. Kenma is probably the only person who can decipher any of the shit you say, and let’s out a few breaths through his nose but that’s about it.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

➳ Kuroo doesn’t love full on cuddling, tbh. He’s more of a fan of like.. laying on top of each other or other smaller forms of affection. He also is pretty keen on liking hugs (loves backhugs.. giving and receiving. when he feels your body pressed against his back he literally melts) but he’s not big into spooning. He doesn’t mind it if you wanna do it though - if he knows you like cuddling, he’s down for you to do it but it’s not where he defaults.

➳ Kuroos cuddles are more like you laying your legs in his lap and him massaging your calves. You falling asleep holding his arms. You playing with his hair when he’s tucked under you. He likes casual cuddling as opposed to cuddling sessions.

➳ When he’s really exhausted though - he’ll give you a real worn out smile and pull you deadass on top of him. Like just your body weight on top of him (and no, he doesn’t care that you might be heavy. He knows that) and just stares up at your face. Bonus points if your hands come up and play with his face (LOVES THAT)

➳ “long day, tetsu?,” as you cradle his face in your palms. He’ll pin your wrist with his hand and kiss the inside of it before rubbing his face against it like a cat.

➳ “long day baby,”

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

➳ Kind of sad, but Kuroo knows how to take care of himself really well because of his parents divorce when he was a kid. He did a lot of cooking and cleaning really young because his older sister was out of the house but he was still young enough to be living there. She would do everything she could for Kuroo in other ways (i.e. helping pay for volleyball and shit like that) but Kuroo was a really independent kid and practically raised himself. Kenma’s mom took care of him too - but Kuroo was like 7 or 8 learning how to fold laundry. By the time he was in highschool, he pretty much did everything for himself.

➳ In terms of domesticity, at a certain point - Kuroo genuinely just accepts you as The One and from then on, you two are a pretty serious couple. You live together early on, and are the kind of relationship in which both of you are just very assured that the other person is the one. Kuroo gets his first nice apartment with you on the lease, and eventually you two buy a condo together in the long run. He enjoys being with you a lot. Home is wherever you are you know.

➳ Surprisingly, one of Kuroos favorite things to do with you is clean with you. You two have a playlist of music that you bump on your speakers as you do your spring/weekly cleaning. You take turns cleaning the bathroom each week. You’ll fold laundry while Kuroo fixes the bedsheets. It’s a team effort and genuinely one of his most beloved ways of spending time with you. When you both get tuckered out, you sit on the floor of your fresh apartment, and drink wine and watch sitcoms. Domestic bliss.

➳ On another note, Kuroo can’t cook for shit baby - but he helps. He can cut kinda efficiently but he’s a hovering boyfriend in the kitchen so normally you just kick him out. Always does the dishes afterwards though!

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

➳ Straightforward about it. Kuroo isn’t gonna beat around the bush when it comes down to a break-up, because the decision to break-up probably took him a long time to get too. Kuroo has a soft heart, and he’s a hopeless romantic. Similar to how his childhood influenced him in one way, Kuroo can’t help but want to fix and repair every relationship he’s in. Even at the cost of his sanity, if it helps keep him and his s/o together, he’ll do it in a heartbeat. Afterall, why would he want to start over with another person? Kuroo chases love, but when he finds it for the first time, he cannot think about loving anyone but you. If you’re breaking up, it’s not over something petty. It’s after hours of contemplating whether this is the right thing to do for the both of you. Hours and hours of holding back tears and wishing things would be different. I can’t see him doing it first to be honest, but if has too - he’s to the point.

➳ To your face it might not seem like he cares. He just says it, those dreaded words. He gives you closure, about how it just wasn’t working anymore and all of that and then he just.. leaves. He seems fine.

➳ As soon as he gets to the car, his head drops down onto the steering with a thud and his soft hiccuping cries turning into full blown sobs. His face is in his hands and he’s cursing under his breath. He feels like a part of him has been torn from his body and everything fucking hurts. It’s a pitiful sight.

➳ He really misses you, you know?

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

➳ Hesitant about marriage, naturally. I don’t think I need to repeat myself on why. He’s still incredibly loyal to you. You two are the kind of couple that date for years. Like.. at least 8+ years of dating but tbh, neither of you mind that much. I think to be with Kuroo, you need to be willing and open-minded about the structure of a relationship. Kuroo values independence and marriage as an institution puts a lot of pressure on a relationship in Kuroo’s mind. He would rather you two continue to love and cherish one another without the extra force of needing to get married.

➳ He does want too though, don’t get me wrong. Not at the cost of your emotional responsibilities being increased though, but as a way to show his loyalty. He’ll propose when the time is right for both of you - no pressure.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

➳ Kuroo isn’t particularly gentle in either way to be honest! It’s not bad though.

➳ Physically, he can be gentle when it’s appropriate. Mostly during the day, or when he’s comforting you and it calls for more gentle touches. However, Kuroo’s emotions around you aren’t very delicate and he expresses himself through physical touch. So his hugs are passionate, generally. All of his affection is an expression of his strong feelings towards you - the correlation is strong so Kuroo isn’t really all that gentle. His love and his touch are full of feeling and strong. A little overwhelming in a good way.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

➳ Hugs are his favorite forms of affection. Hugs that last super long, like longer than they need too where you melt into his tight embrace and he can bury his face in your shoulder or in your hair and take a deep breath. You smell like you and that’s so much more comforting than you know. Kuroo hugs long and just right - arms around your waist with just enough pressure, his hands on your lower back.

➳ He gives you hugs constantly. At home it’s back hugs, chin resting on your shoulder to peep at whatever you’re doing on your phone. In public, quick ones where he’s kissing your forehead before enveloping you in an over dramatic way to where you’re laughing. After a long day at the office, it’s a long, silent hug. Just gentle sighs and breaths, soft beating hearts. More like an embrace, you know.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

➳ Slow. If you’re hoping to verbally hear Kuroo say the words “I love you,” you’re in for a shit show and you’re gonna be waiting for a while. It’s not that Kuroo doesn’t want to say it, or even that he doesn’t know. He’s known for so long, probably way earlier than you did. The first time he almost said it, you two had been dating for only 3 weeks. It flustered him so much - he literally short circuited, stuttering trying to cover it up. The memory haunts him.

➳ He says it after you two have sex for the firs time or after your first really serious fight - depends tbh. It just happens when he’s heavy in his feelings, like so overwhelmed by something. For him - admitting to it is genuinely some kind of end all be all. He loves you - openly and saying that is hard. It’s vulnerable for him. Kuroo got used to dodging his feelings.

He shows you all the time how he feels. Saying it is just nerve-wracking and he needs a bit of push to do so.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

➳ Not super jealous! Sorry if that’s disappointing, but Kuroo is a really secure partner and he tries to dodge petty feelings of jealousy and rarely experiences them. Like.. if you just have close guy friends Kuroo really isn’t gonna throw a fit. However..

➳ Kuroo can always, always tells when someone is interested in you. It’s like a 6th, spidey sense he has. You, on the other hand, do not know when someone is interested in you. You just happen to think your co-worker of the opposite sex who always eats lunch with you and calls you his work-wife is being friendly and open with you but Kuroo can just sense it. Again, he isn’t a jealous boyfriend. Not at all. But seeing all the light drain from that guys eyes when you give him a kiss as he picks you up from work?

➳ That felt pretty good, he has to be honest.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?

➳ Forehead kisses! So many forehead kisses! When he was little, Kenmas mom would smother him in affection and always pulled back his super messy hair to kiss his forehead. Kuroo picked up on the habit plus he’s pretty tall so it’s easier to reach you that way. Also a fan of just kissing the top of your head if he can.

➳ He likes kissing your knuckles too, he’s traditional that way. His favorite is kissing your lips in little bursts. Kuroo likes the way your chapstick tastes so much, it’s actually kinda sweet.

➳ His kisses are so full of yearning. It feels like you’re melting together, it’s fluid and tends to be passionate. When he’s feeling playful, he kisses you then pulls back and brushes his lips against yours before kissing you again and again again until you’re giggling.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

➳ So good with kids, holy shit. You wouldn’t expect it but he’s just a natural at it. He always picks up the fake phone, drinks the imaginary tea with the most sincere review. Makes it look super easy and kids gravitate towards him because he’s just so friendly. He’s not afraid to look stupid and he’s confident and handsome so they like him.

➳ He loves talking to kids, too. Half the time they’re saying nothing and Kuroo is like fuck yeah you tell em, and he MEANS IT.

➳ Kid magnet at parties, ends up spending more time with them than with the adults but he doesn’t mind tbh. He jokes about playing mom and dad like you aren’t busy picturing it the whole time, smh.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

➳ Tend to be pretty face paced! You two normally wake up at different times, with Kuroos crazy work hours - your schedules are pretty mis-matched. Kuroo shows he’s thinking of you by making sure the shower has enough hot water, that the towels are folded and fresh, and that the water is on for when you inevitably go downstairs for coffee or tea. Those are the three things he pretty much always makes sure to do as a way to say love. If he has time to write a note, he will - but if not, he sends you a text when he gets to work and you do the same for work/uni.

➳ On Sundays, it’s a lot of sleeping in and making breakfast together and doing a shit-ton of nothing all day. Kuroo will pull you into him if you try to get up before him, cuddling into your back and whispering later in a gravelly morning voice. Sometimes you two shower together in an sfw way - Kuroo scrubs your back and you wash his hair. It’s fun and playful, but soft and intimate too. Kuroo always forgets to shave so sometimes you mess with the scruff on his chins.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

➳ You two always go to sleep together, at the same time if you can help it. If not, the other will stay up as long as they can or they sleep in the presence of each other. Neither of you are allowed to bring any work to bed, which is why there’s a desk in the corner of your bedroom. Work is work, sleep is sleep. Kuroo think’s it’s important to separate the two out, but sometimes if you two miss each other too much - you’ll just kinda hang around and sleep.

➳ Like Kuroo will let you just curl up on his lap and sleep on his chest while he works without a word of complain, soft smile on his face and eventually telling himself it can wait till tomorrow.

➳ Other than that, you two sort of talk yourselves to sleep? You do your small, independent routines and then come together and just sort of chat quietly until one of you falls asleep, normally you. Kuroo will kiss your forehead when you do, whisper night, and turn over to fall asleep himself. You two always end up tangled in each other though.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

➳ You and Kuroo have a lot of deep conversations before you ever start dating. It just kinda.. happens? Like many things in your relationship but you two talk A Lot. You never really run out of things to say to each other, because Kuroo genuinely values your insights and vice versa. It’s a core of your relationship and the both of you genuinely like discussion - though Kuroo can get kind of into debate territory when he has a strong opinion on something.

➳ When it comes to personal conversations, the words just.. come out of him. It’s slow for sure, but he can’t keep track of how much you know about him in the end. You always mention small details about himself and grin when you watch his face light up with a delighted surprise. It’s a gradual thing

➳ Kuroo has a lot of walls, so it takes a lot of time for him to really lay himself out in the open for you but he tells you eventually. In a way, he’s testing how long you can endure and be patient with his pacing for love.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

➳ Kuroo is rarely genuinely angry. He gets agitated over small things a lot but the moment is so fleeting, he forgets about the shit in like an hour. Really little things like getting cut off while driving or people who are rude to fast food workers. He gets a lil tick in his jaw and sighs, but gets over it really fast. Other than that, Kuroo is rarely ever mad. He doesn’t care enough about most things to be angry over it.

➳ The only times he’s mad, is when something is really outright wrong or stupid. Like if a close friend is making an openly poor decision, Kuroo will get pissed. It’s the same with you - he wants what’s best for you and if you do something he knows is bad for you, it upsets him. Even so, he wouldn’t get angry with you. He tries to cool down as best he can to avoid as much

➳ You do argue though sometimes, and damn they are nasty arguments. Neither of you goes unscathed but Kuroo isn’t too stubborn on apologizing and working things out. Too empathetic to your feelings to let it go on for a long time.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

➳ It’s more like what he doesn’t know about you. Kuroo remembers everything. He has a note in his phone of the way you like your food. He knows where you grew up, and about your childhood pets, and the way you used to play pretend. He knows how you do your hair, knows all your favorite things and things you hate and just the easiest way to get on your nerves and what makes your skin get hot. Kuroo keeps parts of you in his heart like memorabilia and finds it hard to forget things even if he wants too, attaching certain things to you in a way he hasn’t anyone else.

Sometimes though, he forgets really random things. Like small things you don’t talk any offense too that more just confuse you. He knows the name of your parents, but forgets whether you’re left or right handed.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

➳ Tough to pick just one but it sticks out as the first time Kuroo was really having a shit day. Normally he tries to swallow down his feelings in moments like that - forget, when he’s around you and show you the parts of him you like. He already knows he’s on thin ice with his general demeanor, kind of mean and assholey. He has this constant worry you’re gonna get tired of all of it someday, tire of having to read between the lines about his feelings. He tries really hard to be pleasant around you.

➳ But it wasn’t working that day, and he could just feel himself being unable to mask his feelings. You confront him about it, and he tells you - wholly expecting you to be.. well..annoyed with him maybe. He isn’t sure. But the way you handle it.. and handle him really sticks out in his mind. He tells you and instead of saying anything about it, you make him lean his head on your shoulder. Your cheek resting ontop of his hand, him holding your hand - you say “I’m sorry about your day. lets rest here and go get food,” and then just.. sit with him like that.

➳ It was like you read his mind, there was just something so stand out about the way you handled his feelings. Empathetic, and giving him an easy out for how to deal with them. He’s used to being relied on, not relying on others. It honestly made him want to cry.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

➳ So, so protective of you. He shields you from a lot, probably a lot more than you have any idea about. It’s really second nature to him.He doesn’t even know why all the way, it’s just that he wants you to be away from things that could harm you. Mentally or physically, he would do anything to keep you content and away from bad things. Still, you insist on sharing burdens with him and even though he understands why it has to be that way, if he could take everything on for himself - he would.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

➳ You two don’t get a lot of time to spend time together during the week, so Kuroo puts a lot of effort into things like date night and anniversaries where you can take the time to celebrate each other. Kuroo prefers going out for date night, and likes spoiling you to very expensive dinners and shit like that. He doesn’t mind domestic dates if that’s what you like, but he loves to show you off (a bad habit of his tbh) so anywhere you can get nice and dolled up and Kuroo gets to have you on his arm is ideal. Posting you on all his socials, gassing you up all night with a hand on your waist.

➳ In the everyday, it’s very little things he always does to make sure you know he’s thinking about you. Texting you, calling you on his breaks, sometimes he’ll have coffee and shit delivered to your apartment/office when he has some time. Small gestures and acts of love like that.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

➳ When he has a strong opinion, he gets really fucking arguementative. He is a BITCH to argue with because he really doesn’t like admitting he’s wrong, plus he’s petty with a sharp tongue. Don’t date him unless you’re at least a little tough because even if you’re getting hurt by his words, Kuroo finds it hard to snap out of his anger sometimes and can just be a real pain to talk too sometimes. Just very… debate? Sometimes feels like he just argues to argue.

➳ Other bad habits are small, but is forgetful about picking up after himself - mostly with clothes. If he’s tired from work especially, socks on the floor, pants in the hall-way like a trail. It slips his mind if he’s tired enough.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

➳ Not very! Kuroo is really hygienic but in terms of like.. making himself look good or better, eh. He still works-out because he finds the routine is good for him mentally, but he has this very natural good-looking aura to him and it’s genuinely effortless. If he put even a hair more effort into his looks, it’d be wild. That’s why he cleans up so good but he’s got this lived in kind of sexy look to him, a little scruffy, messy-ish hair but still really cleaned up. His looks just suit him so well.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

➳ Nah, but Kuroo doesn’t feel like he’s really himself with anyone but with you. He’d be devastated if something ever happened between the two of you, but in a way - Kuroo would feel like all good things come to an end just like you two did, so he’d move on. But there’s this lingering sense that he’s not himself anymore, like he doesn’t know who he really is unless you can pull out the authenticity from him. He always had his guard down around you so once you’re gone, they go right back up. He loses himself it almost feels like, like he doesn’t know exactly who he is anymore.

➳ He struggles with impostor syndrome all the time, so it just worsens when you leave. It’s almost dehumanizing.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

➳ Kuroo has a soothing singing voice. It’s just nice, kind of low and soft. It’s gravelly too, but still so soothing. When you’re tired and ask him to sing to you, he will. He sings very gold Japanese love songs that his mom would dance to him with in the house when he was little. But his favorite thing to sing is fly me to the moon, he knows the words by heart. He has a hand on the small of your back with you curled into your chest, smiling as he feels your breathing go even.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

➳ He hates anyone who isn’t open-minded! That’s one of the things he absolutely cannot put up with. Ignorance is incredibly unattractive to Kuroo, and that goes beyond obvious things like bigotry but generally, judgement of other people because of how they live instead of their character. Kuroo is incredibly respectful of people different from him, because he thinks it’s more important to understand someone's character than get caught up in other things. If he feels that vibe off of someone, he will generally steer away from there.

➳ He thinks if someone is overly concerned with how other people live, they’re bitter - that vibe turns Kuroo off.

➳ Also Kuroo understands if his partner is insecure or has self-esteem issues, but doesn’t like people who bait for his attention. He prefers you just be authentic with stuff like that so acting out in a negative way for his attention can be a turn off.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

➳ Snoring! Very soft snoring, but he most definitely snores. Sometimes, depending on what position he sleeps, it’s not so.. gentle? and he wakes himself and you up. He apologies everytime and ends up sleeping on his back so he isn’t too loud. He also likes cuddling in his sleep but he doesn’t realize it most of the time so you’ll be half-way awake with this 6’4 man curled around you like a cat, not realizing it.

»» — { ♡ } —— { ♡ } —— { ♡ } — ««

#kuroo x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #kuroo x you #kuroo x y/n #kuroo imagine #haikyuu imagine #writing tag #not me uploading this at 6am

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khoicesbyk · 2 years

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King Liam Appreciation Week Day 1!

Ohhh Boy! What a day this is! What a week it's gonna be! I knew I was gonna like today for a reason.

Meet His Majesty King Marquise Constantine Rys. Yes, yes I know his default name is Liam but to me Marquise just fits. It fits the King I fell in love with 2 1/2-3 years ago.

It was important for me to name him myself because essentially he's a Black Man. So I had to give him a Black representing name. He is also the reason why I began to believe in love again. He's also why I RP (role-play) as him and my TRR MC. It has been so much fun to bring him to life. Here are some my favorite things about him.

He's an amateur photographer. It was a hobby he picked up as a way to channel the grief he felt when his mother died.

He's actually a decent cook. I'm a foodie so it was important for me to highlight my love of a man that can cook.

He's an amazing singer. I mean he was the lead in The Cordonian Boys Choir.

He was destined for a life in the Cordonian Foreign Ministry. It was a dream of his to be Prime Minister more than it was to be King.

He loves American Football. He's a Patriots fan. He went to school at Harvard University and it just stuck. Even has box seats at Gillette Stadium that donates to local Boston foster homes every year.

He loves Sweet Potato Pie. It literally rivals his love of Baklava.

He's also the guy who watches RomComs and Chick Flicks with no shame whatsoever.

He's a hopeless romantic. And can speak over 20 languages (French being his absolute favorite).

And he's an avid golfer and gym rat.

Well, there you have it. My King.

Ohhhhh! And follow him on IG! @kingofcordonia86_

Tagging: @kingliamappreciationweek

#kingliamappreciationweek #KLAW #khoicesbyk #king marquise #king of cordonia #black king liam

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caffernnn · 3 years

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Haru’s hopelessness - an extensive rambling.

Watchers of Free! Eternal Summer - y’all remember this moment, right?

Throughout S2, as some of the boys now have to seriously think about their lives and paths after high school, Haru struggles to think past what he’s always known: swimming for his friends/himself, eating mackerel, and being free. Things arguably take a darker turn once Haru cannot run from the question anymore and breaks, lashing out at Rin and saying he doesn’t have a dream or a future.

There are so many things that can be unpacked from this quote alone, and my thoughts on the matter will probably be sporadic, but here are a few key things I’d like to try diving into in this post:

My interpretation of Haru’s, Makoto’s, and Rin’s characters’ mindsets

What Haru is likely trying to say

How Makoto and Rin interpret his words (based on their mindsets and experiences)

I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on it all as well, so please feel free to add on :)

DISCLAIMER: This post will reference material outside of S2 itself to explain my insight/interpretation of the characters (S1 episodes, High Speed novel), but I won’t be putting full links to all of those materials in this post. If you’d like a specific link to anything I’m referencing, let me know and I can try to dig one up.

When first hearing Haru say that he doesn’t have a dream or a future, it is shocking and concerning, especially to his friends. However, as broken as lost as Haru is in this moment, the weight of his words and what he’s verbally trying to convey is most likely different than what his friends hear. I feel as if a big reason for this comes down to the different ways the characters perceive time and approach general goal-setting.

Here is a video that can give a frame of reference for what I mean by “time perception,” but I’ll still try to explain my thinking ---> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJsdVUhu/

Rin and Haru butt heads on many occasions throughout the series due to having opposing characteristics and approaches to life. The big difference that comes into play during S2 is how they both approach goal-setting and time. As soon as we’re introduced to Rin, it becomes apparent that he is someone who is a visionary that has always set his sights on the future. From boldly proclaiming his Olympic goals in elementary school to encouraging their team to put their relay trophy into a time capsule, Rin establishes himself early on as a dreamer that puts his all into his long-term goals. Being someone who thinks about things in this manner isn’t inherently good or bad, but it does lend a hand to many of the issues we see Rin go through in S1 (having tunnel vision on his goal that isolates him from his friends, being prone to catastrophize when confronted with road blocks along the way [like when he breaks down after losing to Haru in middle school], etc.). However, all of that dreaming puts him at an advantage now when preparing to move forward into post-high-school life. He has a frame of reference for most of his next steps (winning races, talking to scouts), and now he just has to make it a reality.

Haru, in essence, lives his life in the moment. If he wants to swim, he’ll try to swim; if he wants mackerel, he’ll try to make mackerel. He lets the people around him (usually Makoto) worry about the possible consequences for his actions (swimming too early in spring might get him sick, swimming in a fish tank might get him kicked out of XYZ place, cooking mackerel after a long bath might make him late for school, etc.). The way he thinks about all of his “tomorrows” beyond acting freely on impulse is through having a consistent routine or norm to cling onto. When swimming, he’ll swim freestyle. When given a choice, he’ll default to eating mackerel. He’ll find a way to get in a swim or a bath most days because water is safe. He’ll walk with Makoto to and from school, sticking to the side of the path closest to the ocean and anticipating sharing the same split popsicle. This is about as much thought as he lends to the future, usually: he’ll keep doing the things that make him happy and comfortable, whatever that’ll mean to him in the moment. In opposition of Rin, this frame of mind based in immediacy and short-term goals helps him in S1 (teaching Rin to appreciate the moment, connecting with his friends, not getting lost in the overly analytical or competitive side of swimming), but it makes the challenges that come with his looming graduation in S2 much harder to cope with.

The reason that it’s important to understand how both Haru and Rin frame their perceptions of time is because it plays right into what Haru is saying during their argument. He is frustrated with Rin because Rin doesn’t understand the way Haru thinks/lives moment-to-moment (he yells as much in this fight) and he is tired of hearing people for years try and push him into long-term thinking about his future when he doesn’t naturally approach life that way. Think back to one of the first things Haru said in S1:

“When you're ten, they call you a prodigy. When you're fifteen, they call you a genius. Once you hit twenty, you're just an ordinary person. About three years until I'm ordinary. Man... I can't wait to be ordinary.”

Because of Haru’s swimming abilities, people have looked at him as a prodigy and have had their own visions about his potential or his future ever since he was young. Even if it seems like flattery, Haru feels boxed in by all of this. Being considered a prodigy comes with expectations that put him on a pedestal he never asked to be placed on -- if he’s going to swim, he’s expected to swim well; if he swims well, he’s expected to capitalize on his abilities in a competitive manner or expand his horizons to other forms of swimming; if he’s going to live his life tied to the water, people view him as a swimmer before they view him as anything/anyone else. Haru has been frustrated with all of this since he was younger (as expressed in S1), but it gets even worse as people close in on Haru from all sides with advice and sentiments that compound in Haru’s head as belonging to the echo chamber he hates so much.

So... what does this all mean in relevance to Haru saying he doesn’t have a dream or a future? Here’s my line of thinking: all of the internalized frustration Haru has with long-term thinkers (from his perspective) speaking over him and not taking time to understand his in-the-moment intuition-led mindset comes out in this line. What Haru is trying to say is that he doesn’t have a detailed long-term plan because he isn’t a romantic visionary like Rin. He wants to stick with his relatively free lifestyle (y’know, the one where he can do what he wants, but still ultimately sticks to a routine) because he sees no point in forcing himself to put effort into big changes if 1) he’s satisfied and 2) the system isn’t broken.*

*we learn later, especially through Haru and Makoto’s later fight, that these two points are up for debate, but this is what Haru has convinced himself to believe at the time of this specific confrontation.

However, with the way Haru vocalizes this frustration, it is vague enough that Rin and the others hear something much different. It’s written right on their faces. Like I mentioned earlier, being a long-term thinker prone to catastrophizing, Rin interprets (and possibly misconstrues) Haru’s words to mean that he doesn’t think he has the potential or abilities to strive for something. Rin feels Haru’s words like a punch to the gut because he relates Haru’s hopelessness to the times he has felt lost and hopeless, like when defeat after defeat led to him breaking down after his middle school race with Haru. It’s shocking and it stings for Rin to hear, because as much as he’s learned to believe in himself and his own future, he’s also held onto those dreams and hope for his friends. I’ll admit, his dedication and borderline obsession with swimming lends to him mostly vocalizing the dreams he has for his friends that are related to swimming (Makoto and Haru getting scouted, Sousuke returning to swimming), but the love is still there.

The idea of long-term vs short-term thinkers I’ve presented isn’t completely dichotomous or black-and-white, even though Haru and Rin tend to fall on the far opposite sides of the proposed spectrum. So, where does someone like Makoto fall?

Makoto is an interesting case. From how I’ve come to understand his character, I would say he also looks to the future, albeit in less idealistic or extreme ways than Rin. Makoto’s forward line of thinking presents itself through both his people-pleasing tendencies and his caring disposition. When Makoto interacts with people, he is often observant and calculating, trying to figure out how he can navigate a conversation in the most complimentary or polite manner. This ability and tendency to understand/empathize with others ties into a lot of the roles he takes on: team captain, big brother, part-time position as a swim coach, full-time position as Haru’s impulse control... he is inclined to think about the future and all of the possible consequences for his actions. This also ties into some of the other things we know Makoto’s character for, such as being a scaredy-cat (aka, someone who overthinks consequences in fear of the unknown) and a ray of sunshine (aka, someone who wants to see the best in people and holds onto optimism/hope for the people he loves, even if it sometimes means not saving enough for himself and his own abilities).

Despite being more of a forward-thinker, Makoto has definitely been influenced by his close relationship with Haru. Makoto has spent most of his life observing and learning how to read Haru, and it has been shown time and time again that Makoto is one of the people (if not, the person) that understands Haru best. He understands that Haru values the freedom of choice and harbors a desire for unconditional appreciation. He understands that Haru puts stock in consistency/reliability and needs time and space to process or reflect when life deviates from that carefully-crafted norm. Makoto’s actions towards Haru over the years all reflect him trying to be respectful of these observations. Even when he can tell something is bothering Haru, Makoto tries to let Haru work it out on his own first, not prodding him for information but letting his presence/support be known all the same. I digress, being best friends, their lives and routines are tightly woven together. Because of this, Makoto spends a lot of time also living in-the-moment with Haru -- he is a large proponent in Haru’s “free” lifestyle.

Since Makoto has a foot in both Haru and Rin’s respective worlds, how does he interpret Haru’s declaration that he doesn’t have a dream or a future? Surely, since he understands Haru and his position so well and has always been respectful of his mindset/wishes, he gets what Haru is trying to say... right?

Unfortunately for Haru (or fortunately, depending on who you ask), Makoto is immediately concerned by those words in a way similar to Rin. Like I mentioned earlier, Makoto holds deep optimism and hope in his chest for all of the people he cares about. Even though he never forced lofty expectations onto Haru to swim or be anything other than himself, he still holds so much care and hope for his best friend. For Makoto to hear that Haru might not have that faith in himself or the belief that he is worth a bright future, it breaks his heart. Similar to Rin, he is probably thinking back to his own moments of hopelessness, and I can’t help but think back to the lost and scared Makoto fighting with himself during the middle school days. When entering middle school, Makoto struggles with his identity, trying to figure out just how dependent he is on Haru’s friendship. One of his darkest moments in my mind comes from Chapter 8 of the High Speed! 2 novel, when Makoto is beating himself up especially hard after being frozen by his fear of the ocean yet again. Haru finds Makoto alone on a secluded part of the shore, where he says this:

“Will I be alright even if Haru isn’t here? …..I wanted to make sure of that.”

Raising his eyebrows, he shows a lonely smile. Makoto was fighting all along. He was suffering, all along. In a place where Haruka’s thoughts couldn’t possibly reach...

“Would Haru be alright even if I weren’t here?”

If Makoto’s internal struggles throughout their middle school days reveal anything, it is that Makoto has experienced a hopelessness that he wouldn’t ever wish on his friends. To think that Haru might now be at war with himself in a way that makes him question his own place in the world, his future... it is the ultimate catalyst for Makoto to step in and try to talk to Haru. Sadly, we all remember how that confrontation went...

ENTER: THE FIREWORKS FIGHT (S2E11)

(Since this post is already super long, I might go more into my thoughts on how this all plays into the misunderstandings about the fireworks fight in a separate post. We’ve talked about the fight at length on multiple occasions and you can definitely find my thoughts on the matter if you look under the “#fireworks angst night” or “#meta” tags on my profile.)

If you’ve made it this far into the post, thanks for sticking with me. I’d love to hear about how you interpreted Haru’s words or how you think the others took in his breakdown.

#long post #long long post #these poor complex boys with complex emotions #i just... care about them a whole bunch #meta #free! eternal summer #free! anime #ship neutral I think??#makoto tachibana #haruka nanase #rin matsuoka #fireworks angst night #(kinda but not really)#catherine wrote a thing!

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thehopefuljournalist · 4 years

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The List of Good Things

Hello everyone. I hope you’re all having a good day ❤️ I know many of you are feeling pretty helpless and hopeless right now, but you should know that not everything happening is bad. This is a list of good news stories that I have been gathering for months. I wouldn’t be able to write every single one of them its own post, but I will choose a few of them and write about them separately.

- Bees Are Thriving As Pollution Plummets and Environmental Conditions Improve: as the world goes on lockdown, the bees are thriving. More so, people have started taking notice and are becoming more aware of nature and what’s going on in it.

- Milan announces ambitious scheme to reduce car use after lockdown: Milan will introduce one of Europe’s most ambitious plans, changing street space from cars to cycling and walking, following corona-virus crisis.

- Humpback Whales Have Made a Remarkable Recovery, Giving Us Hope for the Planet: Many humpback whale populations, previously devastated by commercial whaling, are making a comeback, and it has nothing to do with the corona-virus.

- A global coalition of 42 faith institutions are divesting from fossil fuels, calling for a just recovery that puts people and planet at its heart. - Oxford University will be divesting from fossil fuels and align to net-zero strategies.

- Portugal is preparing several billion-dollar clean energy initiatives and projects for post-coronavirus future: Portugal is aiming to leap, rather than tip-toe, out of their lockdown initiatives by launching a series of clean energy projects that could generate 5.5 billion euro in European energy investment.

- Ecosia is planting trees for NHS hospitals: they teamed up with two tree-planting charities in the UK and launched #GrowYourLove, to plant trees around NHS hospitals up and down the country. (Haven’t heard about Ecosia? You should try it out!)

- Community-funded energy projects put power in the hands of the people and are helping transform the UK energy market. These are five of the Thrive Renewables projects going on right now.

- Revolutionary food waste app ‘Gander' is a huge success: award-winning Gander app, created to reduce food waste, has transformed the spending habits of Northern Ireland shoppers with a significant soar in downloads and increased sales of yellow stickered foods since its launch last August.

- White-tailed eagles, Britain’s largest bird of prey has returned to the English skies for the first time in 240 years.

- America’s renewable sources including solar, wind and hydropower generated more electricity than coal-based plants every single day for 40 days, a new report says.

- Trinity College‘s front lawns are set to be wild-flower meadow: after the public overwhelmingly supports bee-friendly proposal in an online vote.

- Court blocked oil drilling in Peruvian Amazon: A judge in Peru has blocked a proposed oil drilling project in the Peruvian Amazon that threatened to damage the ecosystem and the health of isolated Indigenous peoples.

- Solar and onshore wind power are now the cheapest new sources of electricity in at least two-thirds of the world’s population, further threatening the two fossil-fuel stalwarts -- coal and natural gas.

- Luxembourg is the first country to make all public transport free.

- 10 billion trees are to be planted in Pakistan with the help of 60,000 workers unemployed because of the Coronavirus.

- Solar power in India has just had a major boost. The country’s government has announced funding that will enable 2 million farmers to invest in irrigation pumps powered by solar photovoltaic arrays.

- Retired politician got 152 million mangrove trees planted in just 10 years: Ever since the scientific community began to encourage the planting of trees to ‘re-wild’ previously lost forest ecosystems to respond to climate change, some very determined members of the human race have rolled up their sleeves and produced remarkable results.

- Protecting trees, particularly old-growth trees in Alaska’s Tongass National Forest, is a win for local communities and for the climate: federal judge rejected a sweeping logging plan that would have spanned a project area of 1.8 million acres in the Tongass National Forest in Prince of Wales Island in southeast Alaska. Those trees are “key to combatting climate change” and have been protected.

- Consideration of the climate crisis will be front and center in all of New Zealand's major policy decisions. The new rule means that any new proposal before the government that aims either to reduce emissions or has a collateral damage effect of raising emissions will need to go through a climate-impact assessment before it can be considered, according to The Guardian.

- UK’s CO2 emissions have fallen 29% over the past decade.

- More and more academic institutions are setting Ecosia as the default search engine across campus computers: Ecosia on Campus first started as an idea between three students in September 2018. Since then, student internet searches have financed the planting of over 135,000 trees. There are now seven universities worldwide that have made Ecosia the primary search engine on campus – a number set to rise as more motivated students join the movement.

- Coal from Guaíba, Latin America’s largest open-pit mine, will stay in the ground: 166 million tons of coal and 4.5 gigatons of CO₂ will stay in the ground. This is thanks to a partnership between climate justice groups, a local Indigenous association, 350.org Brazil, Arayara Institute and the Coal Observatory.

- Seoul is putting solar panels on all public buildings and 1 million homes: By 2022, every public building and 1 million homes in the city are set to be powered by solar.

- Food waste falls by 7% per person in three years in UK: The UK is making significant steps in reducing its food waste, with total food waste levels falling by 480,000 tonnes between 2015 and 2018 – a 7% reduction per person and equivalent of filling London’s Royal Albert Hall ten times.

- Scotland is on track to move its energy sector to 100 percent renewables by t he end of this year.

- All new rooftops must be covered in plants or solar panels in France: Frances’s new “green roof” law is cooling city streets, cutting heating and air conditioning costs, reducing water and air pollution, providing local, organic food and ecosystems for birds, bees and hundreds of other species.

- Madacascar is planting 60 million trees in ambitious drive inspired by its president.

- Scientists find extremely rare blue bee that was feared to be extinct.

- 5 critically endangered Red Wolf pups were born at North Carolina Zoo.

- Deserted Thai beaches lure rare turtles to build most nests in 20 years.

- These 23 Organizations are eliminating food waste during COVID-19 crisis.

This is what I have for now :) If any of you hear about good news and/or have something you’d like to share with me or with my followers and others, feel free to submit, or send a dm or an ask, I’ll always get back to you as soon as I can. Similarly, if you want to talk, share, or ask anything, if there’s something I can do to help, please let me know. I’ll do what I can. I hope this list helped some of you at least feel happier, or made you smile.

Please stay safe and take care of yourselves. More stories and posts to come.

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overclocksaa · 2 years

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a breakdown of the two ways (main) blog canon here splits, because it comes in two flavors, determination for what you get (unless we plot first if you’d rather do something completely new) is determined by location because:

⭍ 001 // complicated, if a good bit canon compliant. tony and steve ( @avengerled ) have finally ended the approximately twenty year stalemate of will they won’t they, and somebody made a bundle of money on the communal betting pool. we hope it was peter and we hope he didn’t spend it all in one place. 890 fifth avenue has been redone (again) as a private home (again - though it’s suspiciously ready to be flipped as an avengers hq if the mountain should fall) because tony is a hopeless romantic who likes big romantic gestures and it’s still the only real home he and steve have ever known. starbrand baby (halley, because we do not let tony name things in this house and we probably shouldn’t let steve do it, either) has a real family instead of a bunch of come and go avengers raising her at the north pole, with no forced age ups. they are disgusting. they are obnoxious. they can say i love you and shoulder touch at the same time now, the avengers are truly suffering more than they thought they would. contributing to this asshattery is clint ( @hitsharder ), who occasionally has his security clearance revoked for crimes against pantries and good taste and occasionally actually being in trouble with the actual law. nat ( @shespy ) who refuses to crate train clint and does not perceive him being dumb, while also plotting running away with tony when clint and steve start world war iii between them. kate bishop ( @bowcarried ) who has basically wormed her way into this reluctant little family becoming another niece tony never asked for but got saddled with anyway. and a slew of other people occasionally making an appearance against their wills. all happening against the backdrop of current comic canon. used: general interactions where no plotting has taken place / as default main verse #1 / things taking place in new york without plotting

⭍ 002 // canon divergent post-winter soldier 2018. canonically tony and bucky ( @avengerled ) went on a fireworks date, and then...nothing, but this answers the question of what if tony just flat out didn’t realize it was a date. the answer is that tony will get blindsided by the knowledge that he and bucky have apparently been dating for a while and ends with tony being one half of a cat dad duo while still doing his avenger thing and occasionally helping out with bucky’s relocating people wanting out of bad situations gig on a need to know basis while adapting to life outside of the big cities and investing in off bug spray because seriously fuck mosquitos. outside of the occasional hydra drive-by and digging out hydra and aim and bad guy acronym of the week enclaves that have burrowed like ticks in flyover country, this is a story about two superheroes who love each other very much and how sometimes a family is a billionaire, a gremlin from wwii, an ai dottir, the cat matriarch, and five kittens someone stuffed in their free candy van and bought home. or also known as how i domesticated my feral superhero husband and made him learn to do laundry and take out the trash, a true story. used: general interactions where no plotting has taken place / as default main verse #2 / things taking place outside of new york without plotting

#. ooc #. psa #// i guess?#// but more #. earth 616 #// i love how everyone is like #// it depends on who has possession of the tony #// and honestly that's legit #// anyway here's mine #// you aren't obligated obviously to acknowledge these that's fine but #// at the same time #// what if...you did...#// continuity is important #// and i love it

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hale-13 · 3 years

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The Trouble with Tabloids

By Hale13 for @jenniboo311

“Oh look at this, this is a good one: ‘Some suggest that Parker’s powers include the male spider’s ability to hypnotize females.”

“Stop, c’mon,” Peter says back, slightly irritated at her teasing.

“Yes my Spider-Lord,” MJ says, dropping her voice in pitch and, against his will he starts chuckling. It makes him feel lighter and calmer and warm.

“Can we just like sit up here all day? It is so crazy down there.”

MJ hums and flicks over to the next page, still skimming. “I mean we could,” she says, neutral. “But would it really help anything?”

MJ reads the Daily Bugle and Peter is an nervous mess about returning to school after his identity is reveled to the world.

Words: 5313, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandom: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Relationships: Peter Parker/Michelle Jones, Peter & May, Peter & Ned

Read on AO3 or below line break

“Does any part of you feel relieved about all this?” Michelle is curled up on her side, the half priced Christmas twinkle lights she picked up off a dusty shelf when they went thrift shopping a few months ago hung up haphazardly behind her. They make the edges of her hair glow red and throw strange and beautiful shadows across her face. Peter is almost too distracted looking at her to register her question.

“What do you mean?” His voice quiet and questioning. His living room is completely dark – his face lit only by his phone screen where he holds is just above his chest.

MJ’s face scrunches a little and she readjusts her head on the pillow, a few stray fractals of light bouncing off the broken black dahlia necklace and painting rainbows onto the wall and ceiling. “Now that everybody knows you don’t really have to hide or lie to people.”

Peter feels his hackles rise just a little at that comment but he’s too tired and burnt out to really be upset. He feels like he’s been fighting for years even though its only been a few weeks since Beck outed him to the world. His head pulsates with the starts of a headache and he just sighs. “For the record,” despite his desire to sound neutral his voice has a bit of an edge, “I never wanted to lie to you. But how do you tell someone that you’re Spider-Man?”

MJ hums noncommittally, it’s the sound she makes when she disagrees or has strong feelings about something in particular but doesn’t feel like arguing – he’s sure it will come up later and that her opinion will probably be correct. It makes him feel thankful and pissed simultaneously but he takes a deep breath and tries to let it go. Anger seems to be his default emotion these days. Anger and frustration and a dash of hopelessness. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” MJ asks, changing the subject abruptly and Peter settles a little more firmly into the ancient couch that May picked up from one of their neighbors. It groans under him.

“Sure,” he replies with a bit of a crooked smile that he can tell doesn’t reach his eyes – the little image in the bottom of his screen that shows his reflection makes him look pale and washed out and so so tired. No wonder May had been hovering so much recently. “I’ve always wanted to try and balance being a well known vigilante while going to high school.”

MJ chuckles and gives him a fond smile. The school year technically started a few weeks ago but Peter has been on unofficial home arrest while the NYPD and FBI and the freaking UN sorted out what to do with him. The unaltered footage from EDITH along with the character witness statements and testimonials from Happy and the newly returned to Earth Nick Fury (shape-shifting aliens what the fuck?) made it clear quickly that he was innocent but just opened the door for a whole host of other problems.

Like a large portion of conspiracy theorists still saying he killed Beck and that the government was covering it up. Or the fact that his address had gotten leaked and people had camped outside with signs or support or hatred and he and May had needed to move somewhere new. Or how Ned had been accosted by a crazy Fox News journalist on his way home from school one day.

That had made Peter see red and it was only May and Happy taking his web-shooters and phone and nearly restraining him that kept him from leaving to do something he would probably (maybe) regret later.

Jimmy Woo, the FBI agent over his case, had advised him to just lay low while the local and worldwide organizations hashed everything out. Peter was still too young to sign the Sokovia Accords but they couldn’t have him running around and ‘causing untold destruction’ in other countries. And, well, the NYPD still wasn’t his biggest fan when it came to the low-to-the-ground and neighborhood problems he liked to deal with.

As it was, he was now allowed to continue being Spider-Man in New York City but he would need special permission from local governments to act anywhere else. This suited Peter just fine; he would rather not leave home anytime soon after his last ‘vacation’ and Spider-Man was a Queens hero anyway. The clock on his phone ticked over to one in the morning just as his battery bar turned red.

“Hey,” Michelle said, pulling his attention back to her. She gave him a tired smile and pulled her blanket up higher on her shoulder. “We’ll be there with you the whole time.”

“I know,” Peter whispered, fingering the stitching of the t-shirt he had stolen from his girlfriend and was wearing. It still had just a bit of her scent that he could probably only pick up due to his enhanced senses and it made his chest feel a little full. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You will,” MJ said, ending the call and leaving Peter alone. The shadows that stretched across the walls from his dim phone light looked foreboding and he stared at them until his screen went dim. He really should get up and go to bed. He should pack his book bag. He should definitely charge his phone.

Instead, Peter creeps to his room and shimmies into his suit, jumping out his window into the cool night. ———————————————

Peter crawled back through his window just before his alarm goes off at six, tired and sweaty and still freaking out a little but feeling marginally better now that some of his nervous energy was gone. May is sitting at their little kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee in her robe and looking just as exhausted as he feels. He can tell she knows that he’s been out all night but he’s thankful she chooses not to say anything as he makes his walk of shame to their cramped single bathroom to shower.

When he emerges about twenty minutes later with damp hair and layered up in his favorite flannel shirt and a plain white t-shirt May has brewed another pot of coffee and has a stack of toast and jam on the table and his heart clenches. Toast and jam has always been his go-to for mornings where his anxiety is at an all time high and his stomach is twisting and he wraps his arms around May’s shoulders from behind in a fierce hug and tucks his face into her neck like he’s a little kid again. May gives him a kiss on the temple and lets him soak in some comfort from her before she shoos him over to his seat to eat.

They both sit in silence; Peter munching on his toast and drinking black coffee full of sugar to perk him up and May nursing her own cup and staring at the wall. May’s knee bumps against his when she scoots a little closer and he can feel a little bit more of the tension leak out of him – as long as he still has her he’s okay. No matter what happens with school and Spider-Man and the Avengers he has May.

“I’m so proud of you,” May tells him a few minutes later as he’s chewing on his last piece of toast and Peter can feel the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes but he refuses to cry. He sniffs and coughs, choking on emotion and May scoots her chair over more to pull him into a hug and he just lets himself be held for a minute.

“I love you,” he tells her, leaning into the hug for just another second before pulling away. May smiles, her own eyes watery and she fidgets with his hair, smoothing out the wild curls and fixing his collar. He knows she hears everything else he’s trying to say: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t want this.

“I love you too,” she says; It’s okay, its not your fault. “I have the next week off so if you need me for anything – and I mean anything – I want you to call me okay? I’ll come get you.”

Peter nods even though he would never call her to come bail him out and goes to the sink to rinse his cup and brush the crumbs off his plate. “I know May and I will, I promise.” Liar. The knock at the door interrupts them and Peter glances at the clock; its later than he thought. May bites her lip like she’s waffling on saying more but relents and goes to answer it. He can hear her greeting MJ and Ned, can hear the brushing of clothes as she hugs them both and Peter takes just a moment for himself. He closes his eyes and takes a fortifying breath – in through his nose and out through his mouth – and straightens his spine, squares his shoulders.

He can do this.

And he’s does. He’s fine as he slinks out of his building (the first time leaving as Peter Parker since his arrest and meeting with multiple government organizations and moving) and down the steps to slide into Happy’s car with Ned and MJ on either side of him. Ned is wearing the ridiculous letterman jacket from Acadec that he spent way too much money on and MJ is wearing a dark blazer he’s never seen before but instantly loves. He would probably love everything she wore to be honest.

“Hey kid,” Happy says. He looks completely unruffled in his usual dark suit and tie but Peter can hear his heart beating faster than usual as he double and triple checks his mirrors before pulling away from the curb. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Peter says but his voice is all wrong and he clears his throat to try to get rid of the lump that’s formed there unsuccessfully. Michelle slips her hand in his and squeezes tightly and Ned presses their sides together in a quick moment of support on his other side.

Ned’s phone buzzes against Peter’s leg and he fishes it out, unlocking it and reading through the message before typing a short reply. “Flash is meeting us out front,” he says. And that, probably, had been the biggest surprise from this whole identity reveal mess but it probably shouldn’t have been. When they had come back from the blip, fifteen kids out of their class of forty-three, they had come to an understanding.

The apology and forgiveness had gone unsaid between them but, suddenly, Flash wasn’t as terrible to be around. There was still some ribbing and snarky commentary but nothing to the intensity of before. No more ‘Penis Parker’ no tripping him in the halls or pushing him into lockers like before.

If the Blip had done one thing it was reset everyone’s preconceived notions and priorities.

After Beck had released his heavily doctored video, Flash had practically beat down Ned’s door and asked how he could help. With his large Twitter, Instagram and TikTok following, he had been able to help get the word out about local protests and had been the person behind #NY❤️sSpidey and #PeterParkerisInnocent trending on twitter for multiple days.

Peter had uninstalled all social media from his phone weeks ago to protect his sanity and had basically only been texting May, MJ, Ned and Happy but he really appreciated the sentiment and had dropped in on Flash when he was in the park the other day as Spider-Man to say a quick ‘thank you’ as he patrolled. Flash had looked stunned and excited in equal measure but had offered a scoff and a fist bump that Peter gladly returned before swinging off.

“Well shit,” Happy muttered as he turned into Midtown drawing Peter out of his thoughts.

The school was a madhouse – news trucks were lining the perimeter, their cameras and newscasters being careful to not step onto school property and under close watch from the scattering of NYPD and SRO on the scene. That was fine, they had expected that.

What Peter had not expected, what no one had prepared for, was the literal mob of protestors with signs and banners and t-shirts screaming and chanting behind a series of guardrails that fringed the path up to the school. His classmates were walking up the path mostly unmolested and filming and taking pictures, some of them lingering around the front entrance or on the steps or surrounding lawn as they watched in fascination. A couple were enthusiastically talking to a cluster of cameras and reporters near the subway entrance.

“How did they know I was coming back to school today?” Peter asks, mouth and throat dry and making his voice croak.

“Someone must have slipped it,” MJ says, not sounding surprised. There had been a school wide assembly the Friday before where Principal Morita had announced Peter’s imminent return and had put some ground rules in place – don’t treat him like a zoo animal, no crowding the halls, no harassment – but Peter didn’t really expect anyone to listen. He’d had his own meeting with May and Morita via Zoom a couple weeks before to hammer out the details of his continued education at Midtown and his tardy and absence policy. The man has assured him that he would do everything he could to keep Peter’s school experience as normal as possible which had bolstered May’s confidence but Peter had known it was more of an empty promise than anything else.

“It’s fine Pete,” Ned said. “They can’t do anything to us.”

Happy met his eyes in the rear view mirror and raised a questioning brow and Peter gave a shake of his head. He wasn’t going to back out now, besides, the car had been spotted and multiple cameras were pointed in his direction and the mob was screaming and waving their signs even more aggressively now.

Happy pulled to a slow stop in front of the path and put the car in park. “I can have them removed if you want,” he offered. “Or find a back entrance? You don’t have to deal with them Pete.”

Peter looked at the crowd again and gnawed at his already ragged lip. “It’s okay. It’ll just make it worse if I try to avoid them.”

Happy muttered something about self-flagellation under his breath with a fond eye roll but didn’t fight him. “Just don’t say anything,” he advises. ��Don’t look at them and don’t say anything. Just keep walking until you’re in the school okay? I’ll be here right at four-thirty to pick you up after decathlon.”

“Thanks Happy,” Peter says, trading seats with Michelle so that he’ll be the first to emerge from the car and tightening his backpack straps. He wishes he had his red and black suit with him instead of the Iron Spider in its housing units on his wrists – the weight, minuscule as it is, is always comforting on his back. He wishes he was wearing his mask. He wishes he could just be plain Peter Parker again. He takes a deep, fortifying breath and opens the door.

The angry roar of the crowd when they see him nearly deafens him and he fights the urge to cover his ears and protect his sensitive hearing. Flash materializes out of nowhere to stand staunchly at his side as MJ slips out of the car, clearly nervous but ignoring the mass of people and grabbing his hand. “Nice hair Eugene,” she teases as Ned joins them and closes the door. Flash rolls his eyes at her and pushes his shockingly blonde fringe out of his eyes.

“You wish you could pull this off,” he offers in response and her smile becomes more genuine at the ribbing.

“Maybe red,” she muses, adjusting her own bag on her shoulder before she starts to walk up the sidewalk.

The path is only wide enough for them to walk two by two and MJ pulls him closer and holds his hand tighter as they face the school. Peter tries to ignore the signs and screams as he walks resolutely toward the door but he can’t completely block them out, especially after seeing a blown up copy of his year book photo with devil horns calling him a murderer. The woman holding it, wearing a t-shirt with a similar message and a button with Mysterio’s helmet on it, spews even more vitriol when she sees him look her direction. Her face is red and angry and Peter redirects his attention back to the school.

His classmates crowd the stairs and most of them have their phones out to livestream him coming to school. He feels like a bug pinned under glass and he can feel his breath speed up in his chest but he tries not to show it. Ben had always told him that he was an open book and that anyone could read his every thought on his face. It had been funny back then but now Peter just wishes that it was anything but true.

It, unfortunately, doesn’t get any better inside. The halls are lined with curious teenagers and teachers alike who all watch him walk down the hall and film him and get way too close for comfort. Morita had told him that he can’t, technically, enforce the no phone rule before school officially starts for the day and after it ends so Peter will have to deal with it.

His locker is also, unfortunately, down a completely different hall than Ned, MJ and Flash’s so they have to separate if they plan on being on time for home room. He’ll meet Ned there but he won’t see the other two until second period and he has first period, APUSH, completely alone. It’s almost enough to send him over the edge.

“I can walk with you,” Ned offers, adjusting his bag but Peter just shakes his head. He can do this. He has to do this.

The heckling gets worse once the others leave and his classmates get bolder – pushing into his space and taking selfies with him and asking invasive questions. He’s never been popular and he’s always been ignored and its just getting to be too much but at least he understands why some celebrities go off the deep end and straight up punch paparazzi now.

He makes quick work of getting his locker open and stowing his extra notebooks and gym bag before hassling in the direction of his home room. Ned meets up with him halfway there, a little out of breath from clearly rushing to meet him and pushing through the crowd, and the groupies back off a little once he’s around and forming a barrier between them and Peter. Ms. Warren glances at them from her desk when they enter and her eyes linger on Peter a little longer than normal but she otherwise ignores them and Peter feels honestly faint in relief.

“Dude,” Ned tells him as he slips into the seat to Peter’s right at the scratched up black lab table. Peter groans and drops his head onto his crossed arms, not really knowing how to respond. “At least you have Dell for APUSH – he won’t put up with any shit in his class.”

“Yeah,” Peter responds. “Lucky.”

Ned winces and goes to say something else but the bell rings and the school morning newscast starts playing on the TV. Ms. Warren turns it up just as Betty Brant says “This morning our very own Midtown Avenger joined us back in classes. In case you missed it, Jason and I were live on the scene for his-,”

Peter crammed his headphones in and turned on the white noise to drown out the sound of the newscast and pointedly ignored Ned’s sympathetic looks and Ms. Warren who looked at his headphones in blatant disapproval but didn’t ask him to take them out. Thank God.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he peeked at the message coming through – a single eye rolling emoji from MJ followed by Must be a slow news day. He smiled despite himself and tucked the phone back away just as the bell rang.

His first class alone was a nightmare – Mr. Dell had assigned them all seats and had put Peter front and center in what was, probably, an effort to keep his classmates for hassling him too much and keep everyone’s attention on what he was teaching and not on Peter. It didn’t really work since people kept taking sneaky Snapchat pictures and videos of him under their desks when Mr. Dell’s back was turned. Peter set his jaw and tried to ignore it but he knew he would have to borrow Ned’s notes if he even hoped at passing the class.

His AP English class was a little better since he had both Ned and MJ with him but Mr. Harrington who was, arguably, his favorite teacher and one that had, apparently, really gone to bat for him against the PTO and school board so that he could keep his scholarship and go to school, was a little oblivious. His classmates were even more bold and blatant and he was clenching his jaw so much he thought his teeth might break.

“Come with me,” MJ said, pulling him out of his desk right as the bell rang and rushing out the door.

“Where are we going?” Peter asked, stumbling after her as she pulled him toward one of the stock rooms, pushing him in and closing and locking the door behind them.

“To the roof,” she answered, standing on an overturned bucket to open up the small window. Peter blinked in surprise.

“But you have art this hour.”

“And you have a free period,” MJ said like it was obvious, hopping off the bucket and herding him to the window. “Ms. Goode loves me anyway so she won’t care if I miss a class. Hurry up and get sticky.”

Peter let out a bark of a laugh and climbed up the wall, pulling Michelle through the window after him and carefully avoiding the classrooms and front of the building until they reached the roof. The sun was bright and warm on his skin and he laid on his back just reveling in the silence. “This is nice,” he said, catching the book MJ dropped before it hit his stomach without opening his eyes and positioning it behind his head as a pillow. She settled in next to him, rustling with some paper and he cracked open one eye to glance at her. “What is that?”

“The Daily Bugle,” she answered, flicking through a couple pages and skimming the words, ignoring as Peter choked on his own saliva and fell into a coughing fit.

“You’re actually reading that garbage? You know what they’re saying about me right? Jameson keeps calling me a ‘Spider-Menace like that even makes sense-.”

“It’s actually pretty hilarious,” she said interrupting his tirade and stopping her flicking to read through a page. “Oh look at this, this is a good one: ‘Some suggest that Parker’s powers include the male spider’s ability to hypnotize females.”

“Stop, c’mon,” Peter says back, slightly irritated at her teasing.

“Yes my Spider-Lord,” MJ says, dropping her voice in pitch and, against his will he starts chuckling. It makes him feel lighter and calmer and warm.

“Can we just like sit up here all day? It is so crazy down there.”

MJ hums and flicks over to the next page, still skimming. “I mean we could,” she says, neutral. “But would it really help anything?”

Peter sighs and flops over on his stomach to beat his head gently into the book. “Probably not.” His stomach growls and he sighs – at least lunch is next. MJ’s hand skims down his neck to sit in the small of his back.

“I can think of something that could take your mind off it,” she says lightly and Peter feels his cheeks heat just a little but rolls his head over to smirk at her.

“Do tell.”

She gives him a little smile of her own before poking him until he moves enough for her to perch on his lap. He curls block out the sun and she’s at just the perfect height for him to lean forward and pull her into kiss.

They slip back into the window of the stock room just before the bell rings to end third period with their lips swollen and their hair a little more messy than it was before but with bright smiles and less tense muscles. Peter keeps his ear to the door and waits for the hallway to clear before they slip out and make their way to the lunch room.

Both of them had brought lunch so it was easier to creep in unnoticed through the side door and join Ned and Flash in the back corner of the cafeteria. It didn’t take too long before their classmates started murmuring and pointing and, despite the numerous warnings from various administrators and the fact that five of the sophomore level teachers were seated at their own table near the front of the room, many of the students took notice of their sudden appearance and were attempting to take surreptitious pictures and videos of them on phones hidden under tables and halfway in hoodie pockets. Peter felt his ears turn red as he ducked his head closer to the table and nearly into his sandwich. MJ glared at the table closest to them and the few girls seated there at least had the decency to look ashamed though they didn’t tuck their phones away.

“So this is fun,” Flash muttered as he picked at the flavorless and congealed school spaghetti on his tray. His normal table of friends and groupies were seated a few tables away and looking at him with jealously. Awkward silence followed his deadpan grumbling and Peter shifted uncomfortably.

Michelle rolled her eyes and snorted indelicately before glancing at Peter with clear mischief in her eyes and slapping her copy of the Daily Bugle on the table before flipping it open to a page she had earmarked. Peter groaned and dropped his head to thunk on the table dramatically as MJ said “ Did you know that Peter can hypnotize females with his spider powers?”

Ned snorted so abruptly some of the water he was drinking dribbled out his nose causing him to cough and gag and Flash to thump him on the back. “Oh my God,” Ned said reverently, touching the gossip rag and cradling it like it was special as his eyes darted across the page. “This is the best thing I’ve ever seen. I need to get this framed!”

Peter whined and thumped his head on the table a few more times. “Yo Parker, this says you lay eggs,” Flash pointed out, skimming the edge of the page where a bullet pointed lists of ‘Fun Facts!’ were.

“I don’t lay eggs!” Peter groaned out in dismay, giving MJ his best betrayed look. She ignored his misery as she gleefully looked at the paper upside down to read the other inaccurate facts listed about him. “This is abuse,” he muttered, trying to pull the paper away from Ned but failing as his friend dodged and Flash batted his hands away.

“Does your ability to hypnotize only work on females? What exactly is the process?” Ned teased, voice shaking in mirth. “Wait! Wait what do you make them call you? Master of the Spiders? Arachnid King?”

“Spider Lord,” MJ provided with a shit-eating grin that had Flash and Ned sputtering with laughter and drawing even more attention their way.

“Oh come on,” Peter begged. “Don’t let anyone hear you or they’ll believe it!”

“Of course Spider Lord,” Flash intoned with barely concealed glee causing Ned and MJ to cackle more.

“You’re all the worst,” Peter told them without heat. To be honest this was the best he had felt all day – he hardly noticed the extra stares and muttering anymore. The bell announcing the end of their lunch rang and he hurried to cram the rest of his sandwich in his mouth as quickly as possible; they all had to hurry since they had gym and had to change before the tardy bell rang in ten minutes.

The heckling continued up until they split off to enter different locker rooms and Peter abruptly clenched his jaw as he realized the majority of his class was not only early to class to change but also waiting in the locker room and looking busy while they waited for him. Ned shot him a wince as he ducked into one of the stalls to change. Peter could feel the eyes following him as he did the same.

“Come on Parker,” he told himself as he took a few moments to center himself. “It’s just gym. You’ve done it a hundred times. This time’s no different.” He took as much time as possible to change, only sneaking out just before the bell rang and the majority of the room emptied.

MJ had saved them seats a bit away from the rest of the class and Peter squeezed between her and Ned, taking her hand and giving it a soft squeeze. Coach Wilson, looking particularly bored, was lugging a couple bags of foam balls from the locked equipment closet and Peter felt his stomach turn with dread. He detested dodgeball.

“You know the drill,” Coach Wilson drowned from the middle of the court. “Split in half, game starts on my whistle. Not you Parker,” he called over the din of talking and scuffing tennis shoes. “New PTA rules – you can watch and do individual work but no more team or contact sports.”

Peter felt his face flush again as he lowered himself back into his seat as the class broke out into louder conversations around him. Ned clapped him on the shoulder and said “Don’t worry about it man,” and Peter opened his mouth with the intent to thank or reassure his friend that he was okay but Ned, taking advantage and wearing a smirk, loudly went directly for the kill. “Besides, its unbecoming of a Spider Lord to comport himself like one of us mere plebes.”

Flash promptly tripped down the stairs and barely caught himself from falling on his face and breaking his nose on the floor, MJ had to sit back down to get herself under control as the rest of their class just stared at them with confused looks on their faces.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this,” Peter told Ned seriously causing his friends to break out into laughter again. If you can’t beat ‘em right?

“You’ve been an awfully good sport about this,” MJ told him later, leaning against a neighboring locker as he packed his bag and grabbed his decathlon binder. He shot her a questioning glance as he zipped up his bag. “The Spider Lord thing. It doesn’t actually bother you right? Because Ned already changed your name in the group chat and I’d hate to hurt his feelings by changing it again.”

“No its fine,” Peter reassured her. “It’s a little funny.” He slammed his locker shut and took her hand, “We’re going to be late Captain,” he told her, walking in the direction of the library. And maybe it didn’t bother him but it didn’t stop the wheels from turning. The attention rankled and he just wanted to go back to being Peter Parker again, to be completely anonymous.

He may know a guy who could help with that – it would only take a quick trip to Bleeker Street.

#spiderman #identityrevealbingo2021 #no way home #nwh spoilers #writing prompt #spideychelle #spider lord #that feel when your friends roast you #but in a good way

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