#how I get myself killed by indigo de souza | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mossmurdock · 4 months

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mosss!!!!! do you have any songs that remind you of knight!sugu??? or maybe just knights overall?? i'm so curious heheheh

- @softgirlgonehaywire

oh my god mickey the can of worms uve just opened,,,this is such a goood question!!! ive had knight suguru in mind specifically for these along with butcher!reader in mind

divine loser by clem turner

tongue & teeth by the crane wives

sane by haley heynderickx

weak for your love by thee sacred souls

how i get myself killed by indigo de souza

i now realize nearly all of these are very angsty songs but i promise the fic itself wont be so awful!! (so far...) this is a very short list atm, but i am for sure going to update it eventually this was so fun to think about i cannot believe i hadnt before!

i didnt just want to list these so here r some specific lyrics that particularly hit for me while thinking about the au. (its taking everything in me not to include all the lyrics rn LMAO)

first up is divine loser by clem turner!!

dear god this song guys. this song. it is so suguru geto, it has his name written all over it!! i really do overuse it in any writing i have for him because this guy is so truly a divine loser. a wet ball of eurgh but in an almost religious way i hate him (lie)

here are some of the lyrics:

My bad habits don't heal They wear a different dress I'm coming down with something I lost my own respect

I bit my fingernails Until I tasted bone So my body remains But my purpose just stopped

DEAR GOD DO YOU GUYS SEE THE VISION??? he's so..he's so....i cant anymore yall. (spolier!! this is also such an amazing song for preist!suguru I MEAN COME ONNNN)

anyway next is tongue & teeth by the crane wives!

this one is angsty<33

And I know that you mean so well But I am not a vessel for your good intent

You gotta know that this won't last Desperation will erase the fact

I will only wring you dry of everything But if you're fine with that If you're fine with that

there are so many more lyrics i have in mind here but these are the ones that make me go "HURRAY HUZAH!!" for this one specifically, im seeing it as from the pov of the reader and addressed to suguru (i hope this doesnt spoil much LMAO)

next is sane by haley heynderickx!

another one where i had the reader in mind, though it was a bit more difficult somehow. im not sure how to explain it, but the significance of this one is a little more complex? hopefully that makes sense

Why am I frightened if it's all just a game But the look in your eyes Oh the look in your eyes Oh the look in your eyes kept me sane

Why am I childish, oh why can't I make sense If everything's certain, well I'm certainly offended

(this lyric in particular has me thinking of both of them!! themes of struggling to understand the world around you. DO YALL GET IT!??!)

next is weak for your love by thee sacred souls!

oh this one is so sweet, it is wonderful and warm and i love the sound of it i highly recommend it. the repetitiveness of the lyrics really get to me here because repetition is such a love struck thing isn't it? and that's a huge part of the beginnings of their relationship (at least what i have in my head so far<3)

Pretty lady, you have me so weak Pretty lady, you have me so weak

You have my heart inside your hands (you have my heart) Baby, be careful what you do with me (be careful, baby) You have control of all the strings (ooh) Baby, be careful what you do with me, me (be careful)

Oh, baby, I go crazy for your love Oh, baby, I go crazy for your love

TEARS THIS SONG APART LOVINGLY RAGGGHHHHHHH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH CRUNCH SNAP TEAR

here comes the very last one!! how i get myself killed by indigo de souza

oh and we r back to angst :'0 ++also this is by one of my very favorite artists pls check them out!!

on another note! this is a song i also used for my fic "more than living" which again, seems very redundant, but i can't help myself. reduce, reuse, recycle is my very best motto.

This is probably how I get myself killed This is probably how I get myself killed This is probably how I get myself killed This is probably how I get myself killed (more important repetition are we seeing a pattern here? LOL)

Oh, come when you're called If this all we've got to work with, then it's all we've got to blame

I'm lovin' your skin darlin', I'm lovin' this hot morning I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm in the way

the initial meaning of this song, if im correct, is based on a very toxic relationship. which still somewhat applies to this au, but ive sort of expanded on it another way. i had suguru's responsibilities and duties as a knight on the mind! the beckoning!! come dog, and heel while you're at it! <- that sort of thing if yall catch my draft and ofc the reader picks up on this,,,and is maybe a little mean about it :o

anyway WE ARE FINALLY AT THE END LETS GOOOO!!! this was soo much fun! thank you so much for the ask darling i loved it<33

BUT IM VERY CURIOUS NOW!! ur such an inspiration do have any fic playlists of your own, or any stray songs floating around reminding you of certain fics or characters or even interactions?? I WILL TAKE ANYTHING AND PLEASE DO TALK ABOUT IT (if u have the time ofc)

i unfortunately have yet to get through much of your longer writing but i would absolutely love to have something to listen to when i can!

#this got so unbelievably long i am so sorry mickey #but thank u again this was such a treat!!#moss answers #ch: geto suguru #the way i correlate songs gets very iffy btw so i completely understand if some of these make zero sense LMAO #i catch a vibe and half the time it will only make sense in my own head #there r probably so many mistakes in this post but im too excited to post it !!

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forestsxcieti · 1 year

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this is probably how i get myself killed . - indigo de souza

LOOSING MY MIND OVER JASON TODD ONCE AGAIN

#batman fanart #batman art #batman #batfam #batfamily #batfam fanart #jason todd #jason todd art #jason todd fanart #dc fanart #dc comics #dc #red hood #the red hood #red hood jason todd #under the red hood #death in the family #jason todd angst

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wutheringmights · 2 months

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hello I come bearing a ctb song recommendation: How I Get Myself Killed by Indigo de Souza. more Warriors pov but the second verse especially is giving me very "whatever tf is going on between Spirit and Warriors" vibes

I see that you are back to grace me with another fantastic song that I have never heard before in my life but will definitely be on repeat for the next year.

I am going to post that second verse because:

Ah, come when you're called If this is all we've got to work with then it's all we've got to blame Ah, come when you're called If this is all we've got to work with then it's all we've got to say I'm lovin' your skin darlin', I'm lovin' this hard morning I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm in the way I'm lovin' your skin darlin', I'm lovin' this kooky morning I need to be kicked, maybe fucked, maybe told I'm in the way

YEAH THAT SURE IS WHATEVER THE HELL IS GOING ON BETWEEN WARRIORS AND SPIRITS

#also just the sentiment of knowing you're being self destructive is just very warriors #like he's going to get himself killed. that's not an accident #me rambling #lu ctb #ask #linked universe #meanlesbean #ctb music

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francisforever2014 · 3 months

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ohhhh come when you’re called if this is all we’ve got to work with then it’s all we’ve got to blame ohhh come when you’re called if this is all we’ve got to work with then it’s all we’ve got to say i’m lovin your skin darling i’m lovin this hot morning i need to be kicked! maybe fucked! maybe told i’m in the wayyyy

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voltfruits · 11 months

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aubreycore playlist for auby enjoyers

paramore - "ignorance"

the beths - "whatever"

sonic youth - "catholic block"

neko case - "middle cyclone"

mitski - "townie"

car seat headrest - "something soon"

sleater-kinney - "dig me out"

green day - "having a blast"

fiona apple - "criminal"

liz phair - "crater lake"

guided by voices - "game of pricks"

beach bunny - "promises"

hop along - "waitress"

be your own pet - "black hole"

indigo de souza - "real pain"

EMA - "butterfly knife"

the new pornographers - "letter from an occupant"

phoebe bridgers - "graceland too"

bikini kill - "rebel girl"

i'm not expecting anyone to read this far but. explanations. lol

ignorance: i think the possible time frame for omori is situated a few years before paramore's popularity really took off, but they're the patron saints of bratty emotional 00s teens and it's easy to imagine aubrey being a fan. this particular song is just brimming with righteous fury, and the lyrics are pretty obviously relevant: "I'm not the same kid from your memory, well, now I can fend for myself / don't wanna hear your sad songs, don't wanna feel your pain when you swear it's all my fault, 'cause you know we're not the same"

whatever: this is an aubybasil anthem to me!! but it's an angsty one. it's about being let down by a friend over and over until you finally snap. i can imagine aubrey belting "we're blood and water but my back is blown, your shoulders slumped saying 'you should have known I'd let you down again'" as basil guiltily cowers/whimpers before her lol

catholic block: as aubrey grows up postgame i imagine she leaves behind pure teen-angst emo in favor of more sophisticated indie rock (maybe this is just me projecting my musical hyperfixations onto her lmao), and i headcanon sonic youth as one of her eventual fav bands. the exact lyrics here are hard to pin down, but it's clearly about having a bad relationship with catholicism, so it's fitting.

middle cyclone: a lovely, vulnerable, stripped-down ballad from one of the most badass vocalists in music today. acknowledging aubrey's softer side is just important as capturing her power and anger, and no lyric is better suited for that than "i can't give up acting tough, it's all that i'm made of / i choke it back, how much i need love."

townie: i know i'm not the first person to associate this song (or mitski in general) with aubrey. it's just. ugh. so good. "i'm holding my breath with a baseball bat, though I don't know what i'm waiting for / i am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be." fuck yeah man.

something soon: car seat headrest is my favorite band and i think aubrey would like them lots too, both for the rawness and explosiveness of their tunes and the insightful way their lyrics explore queerness, depression, and feeling trapped. "something soon" is one of the fiercest and gnarliest songs in their catalogue, and it it captures feelings of young adult desperation like nothing else. we've got lyrics that capture aubrey's more impulsive and violent tendencies ("i want to break something important / i want to kick my dad in the shins") along with a laundry list of poor, abandoned teenage grievances ("i can't talk to my folks / all my fingers are froze / only one change of clothes"). i mean, have we ever seen present day aubrey wear more than one outfit? (i am escorted off the premises for being too silly)

dig me out: sleater kinney is so aubreycore. they are THE girlboss indie punk band. my reasons for choosing this one are mostly based on vibes, it just sounds nasty and desperate and in terrible pain

having a blast: if you're a mentally unwell 16-year-old in a miserable US suburb there is a 100% chance discovering green day's dookie will change your life. i mean. "no one here is getting out alive, this time i've really lost my mind and i don't care / so close your eyes and kiss yourself goodbye, and think about the times we've spent and what they meant." church fight, anyone?

criminal: a photobomb anthem all the way through. just listen to it.

crater lake: underrated bop from the queen of 90s lofi. "and oh, all the tears in four tiny years / well, look at me, i'm frightening my friends." she even got the number of years right, bravo!

game of pricks: my favorite song right now, i've listened to it so much this week!!! it's like. the platonic ideal of a pop song. it's all melody. it's sounds so joyful and yet so melancholic. the lyrics capture a more subdued bitterness/disappointment that i think suits aubrey super well, since she isn't just a rage monster all the time. the one i really wanna draw attention to is: "i'll climb up on the house, weep to water the trees / and when you come calling me down, i'll put on my disease." idk i just. think it's touching how aubrey privately "weeps to water the trees" (uses her grief to elevate mari's memory and try to embody her after her death) but the moment she crosses paths with her past, she can't help being overtaken by the "disease" that is rage and disgust. she's trying so hard to put her pain to good use but she can't control the impulse to wreck everything instead. idk that's what that means to me

promises: beach bunny makes music that's cute and sunny but also rocks hard, which i think would appeal to aubrey. this is a song about being abandoned by an old friend/partner ("a minute you're there, a minute you cared, now you're gone / it's so unfair, keeping me from moving on") that i think functions especially well as an angsty sunburn song, knowing aubrey would confide in sunny when they were young.

waitress: this is a song about the crushing indignity of the service industry which isn't very aubreyesque LOL but i just fucking love hop along and i think aubrey would love them too. painted shut is an all time classic album and its combination of driving guitars, caterwauling vocals, and a vaguely haunted and musty atmosphere just sound the way aubrey's character feels. also i wanna single out the lyric "call you enemy 'cause i'm afraid of what you could call me" because DAMN. that is so her.

black hole: pretty self-explanatory rager about small town boredom. cheesy as hell, but it's what you need when you're 16.

real pain: this song, to me, is about aubrey trying in vain to convince herself that mari's death (and in certain endings, sunny and basil's deaths) are not her fault ("i don't believe the things i've done, i don't believe the weight i've been"). she clearly can't convince herself, though, because the song bottoms out in a storm of gut-wrenching screams like all a person's inner demons pouring out. sorry aubs :(

butterly knife: not really the closest match from a lyrical perspective, unless you count the line about pet rabbits, but i'm putting it on here because it's the best song from EMA's past life martyred saints, which is another album that sounds so much like aubrey to me. it's written from the absolute depths of mental fucked-upness, but it sounds so cool and subtle, almost ambient. it's the aural equivalent of aubrey's usual vibe; aloof, tense but subdued, keeping that storm of emotion just under the surface. just.

letter from an occupant: another all-time classic from one of my favorite bands, this is the perfect concoction of beautiful melodies, sugary guitars, and belt-your-heart-out vocal performances that i think does a good job capturing the cute-but-intimidating dichotomy of aubrey's vibe. the lyrics are mostly nonsense, but "with a shower of yeahs and whatevers, you trade me away long gone" is a wonderful line that captures aubrey's abandonment and her frustration with her old friends' apathy.

graceland too: oh god. this one. is based on my headcanon that aubrey moves out from her mother's house postgame and lives with polly and basil. i'm just gonna drop the whole first verse and try not to cry. "no longer a danger to herself or others, she made up her mind and laced up her shoes / yelled down the hall, but nobody answered, so she walked outside without an excuse / she could do anything she wants to, she could do whatever she wants to do."

rebel girl: during the time the game takes place, this is aubrey and kim's favorite song. they sing it to each other to hype themselves up. they know all the lyrics by heart. it's Their Song. listen to it and it's probably pretty clear why.

#i've been working on this for a while and today seems like a good day to finally share it!!#a lot of these songs deal with anger/grief/shame/gender stuff in a way that's very aubrey to me #others just have her vibe. or sound like something she would rock out to <3 #i hope u find a song or two that you like!!#aubrey omori #volt.txt

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glittergroovy · 5 months

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How I Get Myself Killed • Indigo De Souza

#indigo de souza #how i get myself killed #gif warning #glitter text #lyrics #bloggif.com #50px #georgia bold italic #georgia font #indigo de souza lyrics

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chopper-witch · 2 years

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Ritual 777 - Chapter 1: How I Get Myself Killed

Eddie Muson x female!reader; Jennifer’s Body!AU

Minors DNI. I will find and tell your parents or guardians.

Story title inspired by Ritual 777 by Temple Twins

Chapter title inspired by How I Get Myself Killed by Indigo De Souza

I will have a full playlist soon

WC: 3,500+

Warnings: underage alcohol consumption, drugging of drinks, sexual assault, literal usage of human sacrifice, no actual murder but there will be actual murder later; if you shouldn’t be watching HBO’s most popular shows you shouldn’t be reading my work. Like seriously.

This is like the only time I will use (y/n) I am so sorry.

A/N: This chapter has no Eddie in it at all, but it sets up the whole how did reader become tied to a demon thing. It deviates from Jennifer’s Body in several ways but it fits better to later plans. Also, I know some of the details are inaccurate concerning lining up with season 1 but frankly, I don’t care lmfao. Finally, I have like,,, mad bad dyslexia so please forgive all mistakes I put this through grammarly and like regular spell check and did all the other techniques I was taught. I can speak well, I cannot write for shit.

Masterlist

October 31, 1983

There is something about small towns in the middle of nearly nowhere and Halloween that mix just right. Every small town has its own verified monster, according to every citizen who lives there, and Halloween just brings something evil out of the ground that normally just lurks.

Some small towns refuse to participate. Too worried about that evil that lurks.

Others, it seems, openly invite it to dance.

Hawkins is definitely the latter.

Cherie, a friend since elementary who has a penchant for skirts that tend to get her sent to the principal's office and eyes so dark you’ve heard others wonder if she’s got something evil residing in her, slides an invitation on your desk.

Halloween Party at Tommy’s, apparently.

“It’s a Monday.” You toss the invitation back to her. “Should we really be going to a party?”

“Hell yeah. It’s Halloween. Come on.”

Behind her sits Ailise, not a hair out of place in her perfectly kept twists, as usual, popping her gum with wide eyes, awaiting your response.

“Alright, alright.” You shake your head. “Fine. You’ve convinced me.”

Cherie finally slides into her seat right as the bell rings but continues to speak as Mr. Jones begins asking for the weekend’s history homework.

“Yay! I’ll drive there, but there are like… no promises about driving back.”

“Yeah. I know.” You snatch her homework from her to send over to the left as always, and she rolls her eyes. How she stays in the honors classes is a miracle. “I know how parties work when we go together, Cher.”

“Pick you up at ten then.”

—

10 always means 10:30.

Always.

So you’re leaning against your front door, black jeans on, white v-neck with red dye dripped down the front, waiting for her. Nails have been painted black and red lipstick has been added as a little flourish.

Because vampires are always in style.

The familiar black Mustang that her brother restored for her after someone crashed it into a tree last year rolls up, blasting music far too loud for 10:30.

Cherie rolls down her window to her car and leans her head out. “Boo. That’s such a lame costume.”

“Vampires are never lame,” you insist, climbing into the car. “You’re just jealous. I look good in blood red, and you have to wear basically underwear.”

Cherie looks to Ailise for back up but she just shrugs.

“And turn it down. My neighbors will be on my ass again. You know it’s mostly old people here.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re leaving.”

For a small town, Hawkins has some of the largest parties, you’re convinced. Maybe it’s just a small town thing. When sent off to live with visiting a cousin in a Chicago suburb a few summers ago, the parties were large but not… Hawkins’ large. You suppose it’s because everyone holds them instead of just the few who actually can. People are spread out over ten or twenty instead of all gathered at the one or two that are happening.

Someone shoves a drink in your hand the second you cross into the house and you chug it without thought. Better to be drunk than sober at parties you learned long ago.

Cherie and Ailise are already gone in the crowd within seconds.

You follow the complaints about drinks to the kitchen, snatching an open bottle of vodka and filling the cup almost entirely.

Better drunk. Always better drunk.

The parties are all the same anyways. Someone cheats on someone. Someone is hooking up with someone else in the bathroom, the bedrooms, or the forest most of these houses have behind them. Two to five people are bound to get into a physical fight at some point.

Cherie will pass out on the couch. Ailise will probably walk home.

Some other junior saddles up next to you after a few minutes alone just drinking, some boy you vaguely know from a class last year, eyes trailing from your exposed ankles to the necklace dangling between your tits.

“No.”

And you walk out of the kitchen, deciding to wander through the crowd.

Steve Harrington, who hates you for some unknown reason, is dancing like a jackass with some poor sophomore who looks like she’d rather be anywhere else. He probably hates you because you let him fail on his half of a partner project instead of picking up the slack. Not your fault, really. You warned him. And given that normally you don’t follow through on such threats, he didn’t believe you.

But for the first time in his life, someone let him fail.

As you move into another room, you trip. The vodka that you haven’t had yet goes spilling down your shirt, turning the white shirt with red splotches entirely sheer. You aren’t a complete idiot, however, and it only ends up exposing the red bra you put on underneath, which doesn’t show through very much when it’s beneath sheer dyed red.

You move on. Somebody has to have some stupid party game set up somewhere. Something to do. It’s Halloween, after all.

The next room is boring. More dancing, making out, and a game of spin the fucking bottle.

Jesus Christ.

You trip again, but this time you can’t blame it on those dang strips of wood some houses have between rooms. Your eyes look down to find what the hell you could have possibly tripped on only to find your shoes doubling and blurring.

Strange.

When you look up, the heads of people begin tilting towards the right. Slowly but surely tilting. Your body follows.

Tilting, tilting, tilting…

Until you finally fall over.

A pair of arms catch you, strong and steady. A sharp contrast to the current cartwheels your head is deciding to do.

“You feeling okay there, madame president?”

Your eyes narrow to focus. But that voice… you know that voice. The senior who you’ve been sent to tutor for the test he has this Friday. Otherwise, he may fail out of school entirely despite it being only October. And a star athlete can’t be failing.

“Chase?”

“Yeah. You don’t look so good. You want to go get some air?”

“I should go find Cherie or - or Ailise. Tell… tell her…”

“Someone will let her know, yeah? Come on. Looks like you’re gonna be sick. The cold will help."

He hooks an arm around you and helps move you through the crowd of blurring colors. One person bleeds into another, costumes becoming nothing more than an abstraction of their original shapes.

Sexy zombies are Picasso's of brown and green; people’s faces becoming a surrealist’s wet dream as you near; the whole world spinning and twisting enough to make even Natalia Yurchenko sick.

A sharp wall of cold air burns your face as you finally make it out into the cold of an Indiana Halloween. Nothing gets clearer, but everything definitely gets colder.

Instead of stopping at the seats you know are set up in front of the fire someone started in the backyard, Chase keeps dragging you towards the tree line.

“Where are you taking me?” You ask through heavy lips, trying to turn your head back towards the party. But it’s growing dark and no longer are there shapes, just swirls of colors.

Your vision just jumped from Picasso’s Les femmes d’Alger to Benglis’s Baby Contraband.

Figured you’d at least have some more surrealism or another form of vaguely human abstraction before it became entire blobs of nonsense. But whatever hit your system hit it fast. Even the moon, a beautiful crescent, is nothing more than a giant blurry white blob hidden behind just as blurry scrawls of black.

“Don’t worry about it, madame president.”

You try to tell him something, something about wanting to be near the fire, by people, but all your lips do is open and close a few times like a damn goldfish.

“Her?” A second voice asks through the ever-growing buzzing in your head.

The crunching of leaves begins to grow distant, miles and miles away. Everything just seems so… so far. Like you are on the moon or maybe even Mars.

Chase has begun dragging you, your legs turned as heavy as lead but as weak as jelly.

You expect him to complain, joke about you being careful, but he doesn’t. He just keeps his grip on you tight and drags you through the forest.

“Dude, it’s not like anyone is going to miss her,” a third voice replies.

The top of your feet hit a root, a stretch shooting up the front of your legs. A gasp leaves your lips but it seems not to bother Chase and whoever else is with you.

“Isn’t she like student body president or whatever? People will notice.” Voice two.

“People won’t miss her though. No one even notices her most of the time and those who do are just annoyed. They voted for her to get her to shut up.” Voice three.

“I know I did.” Chase.

A barely audible scream rips from your throat before you even feel the electric burning up your spine and through your toes or the crack of your skull.

The sky clears a little. It’s still hazy, but the moon is a blurry crescent instead of just an out-of-focus light through a raindrop; the tree branches have some shape instead of all blending into each other; you can tell there are indeed four boys hovering over you.

“Sacrifice needs to be alive, dick.” A fourth voice.

Sacrifice?

Oh, fuck.

You thrash, the edges of the rock cruelly digging into your spine. While it would leave you terrified and scarred, you know you could crawl to that recluse and drunk of a police chief and explain what happened and something might happen to this group of dickheads if you get raped in these woods.

There will be no your side if you get fucking murdered.

Your body just twitches, however, and nothing more than a whimper leaves your lips. Limbs too heavy, face too numb.

“Shut her up and tie her down.” Chase.

Something is shoved into your already slightly gaped open mouth. Cottony, salty.

Hopefully not someone’s sock. Or underwear.

Just work to identify the voices. If you get out, you can identify them in court. Focus.

“Are we sure about this?” Voice two.

“We do this and it doesn’t work, someone who no one will even miss is gone. We do this and it works, we’re into our top choices with early admission, and full rides, we get it all boys. Come on.” Chase.

“Plus how easy will this be to blame on one of those freaks. Demonic sacrifice on Halloween?” Voice three.

“Are we sure about her though? What if she isn’t a virgin?” Voice two.

Virgin? No, you definitely aren’t one. But they don’t know that and there is no way to communicate that while gagged and drugged.

“Have you met her?” Voice four.

Sounds like they wouldn’t believe you anyway.

“Dude, just tie her down.” Chase.

One of them kneels by you, rope scratching against your right wrist first. It stings, burns, but you can’t even wince as your body refuses to react at all to anything. The best you can do is roll your head to where the body is beside you, making quick work of yanking your arms above your head to finish off tying them together.

Your eyes catch those of Greg, someone whose mom begged you to help him over the summer, as his face nears yours. Voice two you assume. He looks hesitant and you try to hold the gaze, beg him, but he looks away and focuses on finishing off the knots. Your head lolls back towards the sky.

Chase. Greg.

Which means voices three and four are probably Devin and Seth.

Who you assume must be Greg tries to pull your arms apart at the wrist as hard as he can. Another scream bubbles at your throat, rock clawing into your back and rope rubbing your skin raw as he does so.

Once again, nothing more than a moan comes out and it is muffled by the gag.

“All tied down.” Greg.

Ripping reaches your ears, ever so softly, through the growing haze you are falling back into. Shivers run along your front. It takes a few seconds, until after one of them has reached to grope your chest, to realize that your shirt and bra have been hacked off from the front.

Hands tied, body drugged, mind hazy.

All you can do is try to roll your head to see what they are trying to do.

But the world is becoming like that really shitty polaroid Cherie gave you of her eye, far too close and completely indistinguishable, all over again.

“Cute tits.” Voice four.

“Virgin, Seth.” Voice three.

The hand is withdrawn.

Not that it matters, considering how little you can feel.

Chase. Greg. Seth.

Definitely Devin too.

The four star-athletes on the verge of failing out of Hawkins.

“Alright, here we go.” Chase. “We come here tonight to sacrifice the body of (y/n), of Hawkins, Indiana. In return we ask for our desires to be returned in full - early admission into our choice colleges with full scholarships, perfect grades this final year of high school, for us to find and keep the loves of our lives, and to have rich and successful lives. With the deepest malice and most gracious thanks, we offer this virgin to thee.”

What? They’re sacrificing you to… to do well in school?

Dear god what the fuck.

There is a pause and the sound of leather rubbing against metal can be faintly heard. A knife, dagger, something sharp.

“Alright, how many times do I stab her again?” Chase.

“It says stab her seven times.” Seth.

“Seven times? Not six?” Chase.

“It says seven.” Devin.

“Seven deadly sins, seven kings, seven heads of the whore of a Babylon… seven makes sense.” Greg. “What? Revelation 17, one through eighteen. You know?”

“Oh, watch out boys, we got a biblical scholar over here.” Devin.

They laugh.

The four of the laugh as if they haven’t got you tied down to a rock, shirt torn open, god knows what shoved into your mouth, knife or whatever hovering over you.

As if they aren’t just about to murder a fellow student to try and make it big.

“Alright.” Chase. “I would say sorry but you’re about to make me very rich.”

It goes through so far that the blade clinks against the stone below you.

Heat like lava flows from your abdomen and cascades over you.

When did blood become this hot? It’s never felt this hot before. Never like fire leaving trails of desecration on your skin. Never like the devil choosing to dance on your skin in the cold of night, feet leaving a pattern of burns.

Never like burning alive.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

Somewhere else. Anywhere else. What else is there to focus on?

The moon? No. All you can see is one large white blur taking up nearly the entire sky.

The night noises? No. It seems all the critters scattered as soon as they realized what was going to happen.

The party in the distance? No. It’s like everyone left when you did.

All that’s left is you, the rock beneath you, the dagger they’ve now stabbed through you three times with, and the four boys who thought killing a fellow student was a genius idea.

Maybe Cherie and Ailise would at least miss you. That would be nice.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

It repeats over and over and over in your head with each stab, the unfamiliar voice soothing you and distracting you from the pain. An angel, you suppose, if they really do exist. Or just a final hallucination to get you through the horror of death.

The seventh goes right through your heart, your body tensing up one last time.

“I’ve got you.”

—

You wake vomiting.

On your hands and knees, rope burns on your wrist and mud matted to your head. It’s black and sludge-like and covers almost half the clearing.

When you finally stop heaving, you sit up and tilt your head to the night sky. The crescent moon tickles your skin awake. It feels gentler than a feather and warmer than a midsummer’s sun.

You cry.

Flashes of the night interrupt the clenching in your gut, in your chest, in your soul. A flash of a solo cup, the world tilting, Chase asking if you’re okay, colors swirling, Greg’s eyes as he ties you down, discussions of sacrifices,

“It says stab her seven times.”

Reflexively, your hands grab at your stomach.

No marks. No exposed muscle and fat. The blood is still smeared all over your stomach and even the rock you were left on when you glance back, the knife lazily tossed to the side, half-wrapped in strips of the shirt you had been wearing.

But no stab wounds.

Not even one.

Forget seven.

But… it happened. It had to have. The dagger is there; the blood is there; you’re here, not at the party.

You crawl and grab the dagger. The tip is dulled where it hit the stone seven times, just as you remembered. It has a few rope fibers from where they apparently decided to untie you once you were… dead?

No. You couldn’t have died. If you did you wouldn’t be here right now.

And that voice. That voice that spoke.

“I’ve got you,” it had said, getting louder with each one. Every time you were stabbed, it repeated the phrase.

“I’ve got you.

I’ve got you.

I’ve got you.”

The dagger cuts deep into your hand as you squeeze it tight in frustration. You hiss. Your fingers release their near-death grip to expose a long cut on both palms, running deeper than you expected.

In seconds, it seals shut as if it never existed in the first place.

“What the fuck,” you whisper.

A loud group of cheering echoes through the forest. It’s only 12:35 according to your watch.

It’s only been a little over an hour and a half.

You turn towards the party, where the music is loud and people are yelling in excitement still. Celebrating Halloween despite it now being November.

Were they right?

Did anyone even notice you were gone?

Did anyone even care that you were just murdered in the woods but a half-mile away?

You doubt it. Cherie would move on after holding some sort of dramatic vigil. Ailise would say she had dibs on your things. But then the sympathy would end and so would their care.

Instead of heading back to the house where your friends are bound to still be, you turn to the right, heading towards the major road nearby to begin the six-mile walk home, the dagger gripped tight in your hand.

The police chief wouldn’t believe this. Especially not without stab wounds.

No one will.

You’re just a dead girl walking with no proof but the knife and the rope burns.

Which proves nothing but being tied down and your clothes cut off.

Sexual assault, you could claim.

But not attempted murder. Not actual murder. No.

Someone compliments your costume on the way home. Another calls you a slut for having your tits out. A third asks if you’d suck them.

You just keep walking, dagger gripped tight in your hand.

“I’ve got you,” the voice says one more time as you fall asleep that night, buried beneath every blanket you could find after scrubbing your skin raw.

Only the scar above your heart remains, healed over already with skin so thick you aren’t sure anything could ever penetrate it again.

It’s a comfort. Whatever the voice is.

The last thing you see as your eyes close is the blade glinting on the night stand, blood still covering most of it.

—

You don’t go to school the next day. No one calls to ask if you’re okay.

Everything about you looks terrible, sick. Deathly even. Everything you eat turns into that sludge-like vomit. Everything hurts and everyone else seems inconsequential now.

The patch above your heart shrunk slightly. Like a top protective coat fading.

“Hey! She lives!” Cheri laughs when you do return to school on Wednesday.

“Like you would care,” you mumble, angrily switching your books.

“What was that?”

You tilt your head past your locker door, eyes staring deeply into Cherie’s.

You once thought them to be black. So, so dark. Now they don’t look as dark. There is more to them. A hint of sandy beach in one corner of her right eye and a sliver of burning fire in the left. They’re deep, full of volume. Not dark.

“I said like you would care. You didn’t see me leave the party. Didn’t even bother checking in on me yesterday. I could have been dead on the side of the road and you wouldn’t have cared.”

Cherie crosses her arms. “That’s not true and you know it.”

Ailise steps in between you and Cherie. Everything of hers looks different too. One or two gray hairs you never noticed. A stray hair that you would have never seen before.

“We’re sorry, okay?” She begins, the movement in her lips exposing tiny cracks you swore weren’t there before. “We were shitty to you. You know Cher has been way too into that dickhead track runner and I just wanted to hook up with anyone. We were distracted.”

“We swear to do better,” Cherie adds, voice having a slight quiver for the first time since her dog died when she was eight.

Your eyes carefully assess them.

For the first time in your life, you can actually tell if they are lying or not. It’s not just a gut feeling that is inevitably overridden by your need to be liked. It’s like a detector of some kind. An aura around them almost.

“Okay. But fuck up again, and I will kill you.”

You slam your locker so hard the lock bends.

You don’t notice until later, of course, when you return to switch out your books again and for the first time in years, following the first time in years you stayed home, you are late to class.

#ritual 777 #ritual 777 vibes #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female!reader #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #jennifers body au

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findusinaweek · 11 months

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Annotated Alexidas playlist, as inspired by @aeide and @ainulindaelynn. I don't organize or layout when writing or making art most of the time, but I do make playlists to keep myself on track. Beneath cut is explanations, headcanons, justifications. I finally got it to work.

Run Boy Run - Woodkid. Alexios leaving Sparta as a child, running for his life.

Show Him The Ground - Iron and Wine. Boys learning to fight. Rethinking whether learning to fight makes you a strong individual: “Would it make you feel much better to show him the ground?”

Wage Wars Get Rich Die Handsome - The Mountain Goats. My inner mantra while writing Alexios.

Korinth - The Flight. Because Korinth is lifechanging for them.

Ancient Kithera - Kalia Lyraki, Assasins Creed. I like to imagine things playing in the background while they go about their daily lives.

A Spartan Fight - The Flight, Assasin's Creed, Mike Georgiades. Just seems right. I am sure it is not what plays when they meet, but I cannot remember and title wise it makes sense in this order.

Blood Royal - The Mountain Goats. "I remembered you/ I remembered where you come from". Brasidas recognizing who Alexios is, as a Myrinne's son.

How I Get myself Killed - Indigo De Souza. "I need to be kicked/maybe fucked/maybe told I'm in the way./ This is probably how I get myself killed". Brasidas on meeting Alexios. He isn’t wrong.

Braid - Perfume Genius. "Secret is braided/ In between". What made me write Braid. I wanted to explore the intimacy I heard in this song.

Brasidas - The Flight, Assasin's Creed, Mike Georgiades. Ya know. I just picture him smiling at Alexios.

Ancient Celebration - Kalia Lyraki, Assasins Creed. More background music. I think they should drink together while this plays, share soft smiles at each other.

Epitrotos & Iambos - Petros Tabouris, Panos Stefos. More background music.

cherubim - serpentwithfeet. I like to think of love and devotion, how they can twine together to make something so strong that it is a bit off-putting (the song being in a minor key). "I get to devote my life to him/I get to sing like the cherubim./ Boy every time I worship you/ My mouth is full of honey". Sure, there is innuendo, I wanted that. But the song is tense, while the lyrics are full of longing and praise. I think that is how Alexios feels about Brasidas.Not me listening on repeat and learning to draw dick for Alexidas.

Procession of the Olympians - Michael Levy. Background music.

An Angry Blade - Iron & Wine. "Who left you so?" and "You're an angry blade and you're brave but you are alone". Brasidas understands what it is to be a soldier, but he sees something in Alexios that he does not often see in other fighting men. He wants Alexios to let it go. It reminds him of Deimos.

A Happy Family - The Flight, Assasins Creed, Mike Georgiades. This is my favorite song on the ost! I wrote about it before, but I love the shift at 2:51. It's like Myrinne's theme, but...wrong? I like to read it as Alexios being unsure if a happy family is possible (I do not play him as forgiving his father, and if I can stand to continue after Amphipolis, he will not spare his sister. I need to play that at least once. Catharsis?). Can also be read as hopeful, determined to make a happy family possible. But I like drama and being sad.

Die 4 You -Perfume Genius. Alexios' devotion, love as something that pushes you offbalance. This a song apparently about erotic asphyxiation , so sure, maybe it's that too. I don't know.

Safe with Me - Soap&Skin. "No love can be safe with me". Alexios worries about whether it is possible to be good for a partner in a relationship. Whether he, with his job as a mistios and the cult at his back, can be safe for Brasidas. If he had a therapist, he’d probably worry about being too traumatized or something of the sort. But unfortunately, he only has Barnabas (who tries his best).

My Boy (Twin Fantasy) - Car Seat Headrest. "My boy/we don't see each other that much/ It'll take some time/ But sometime down the line/ We won't be alone". Alexidas pining. You know. When you are gay and long distance. As one does.

Valley of the Two Kings - The Flight. Sparta stuff.

Alan - Perfume Genius. GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. This is it. THIS is what I think a good relationship looks like. This is everything I love about being in love. "Did you notice/ We sleep though the night./ Did you notice babe?/ Everything's all right". The joy and surprise of being queer and safe with someone you love. The utter shock at everything being ok. Feeling comfortable in your own skin. (Also I SAW Perfume Genius live and SAW Alan and hooo boy he has nice piano hands, good finger posture. I was entranced. I stared throught he strobe light at his fingers. It freaked out my ex. I do not have good finger posture. I get it, Mike Hadras. Your boyfriend is amazing. )

bless ur heart -serpentwithfeet. Arguably my favorite love song. Having a love that inspires others, that gives each other strength. Knowing you can be safe in that love? Alexios and Brasidas for each other. "Boy, whoever reads about how much I adore you/ I hope my words bring them something new". Being open about your love, having it become something that is passed on. Yeah. That’s some good shit.

Something to Cry About - Daniel Rogers, Ensemble de Organographia. Background music, somewhat unsettling. As Herodotos tells you constantly: There is much to do, and many unknowns on the horizon.

Two Men In Love - The Irrepressibles. "Will you lay down your armor/ and be with me forever?". Well? Is that something they can ask of each other? Is love stronger than duty? Can you put both together?

Forget About - Sibyelle Baiar. "You make me forget about/Past and pain". I think they are an island to each other. I think they are healing for each other. “You do me good”.

Sparta- The Flight. Background music again. Good stuff.

Wood Boy- serpentwithfeet. Alexios' thinking about bottoming. That’s it.

Coast - Shannon Lay. OH wow, I have many thoughts about this song. I listen to this and picture Alexios thinking about how Deimos fought Brasidas at Pylos. "She came for you/ But now you're gone and I'm afraid for you, my friend". Alexios (and I) get weird about the sea: "Darling I am telling you I belong by the sea" for some reason (this is a reoccurring theme in my headcanons). He did not belong by the sea, he belonged by Brasidas side, but here we are. We are stuck at the coast.

Bounty - Tiny Ruins. "Hey, I'm on the run/ Didn't I say I go where I want?" First verse is Alexios as a mistios. "Yeah, You're a wanted man/There's a bounty that keeps us/hand in hand". AU where Brasidas lives and also becomes a mistios.

Heal - Soap&Skin. I don't know, they talk out their traumas and get better together? "Do we heal?" And then they do get better! “Fear used to be near here/ But won’t be anymore/ I have no fear”.

Lost in the Dark Forest of Questioning- Michael Levy. Background music that makes me think they get lost in thought together. Laying with his head in his lap, playing with each other’s hair, eating together.

Age of Kings - The Mountain Goats. "Held you in my arms for the first time that day/ felt like god's anointed when you didn't push me away./Gold light shining on so many things/in the age of kings". Brasidas thinking of the first time he sleeps with Alexios. I think it means a lot to be mutually liked, to not have to portray Spartan ideals with a lover. Also Sparta has two kings, so...age of kings.

Historiography - The Mountain Goats. Loving despite everything going on. Cherishing time together. Not remembering all the details because you are together and you are in love and the world melts down into just the two of you.

The Woods - Daughter. Brasidas thinking about Alexios and his sister.

The Shores of Megaris- The Flight. Yup. Game music.

#Spotify #Alexidas playlist #Because I am so extra #This is a very late Brasideia 2023 post. It is also very late and I am so sleepy. I went over the limit this needs to be multiple posts.

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