#how Stan and Ollie got married

[tipsyleaf]

CHRIS STANS RISE!!! WE NEED TO GIVE THAT MAN MORE LOVE AND ATTENTION!!! 😤

Domestic Chris…Because that’s my specialty. 🥹

I see Chris having three kids, two boys, one girl. He’d be the type of dad to push his boys so hard, always expecting the best of the best from them. His daughter as well, but not as harsh. I see them all pretty close in age, maybe 1-2 years apart for each kid.

He’d have his boys do all sorts of sports and activities. Football, baseball, basketball, tennis, track, cross country, you name it, they do it. Chris would also help them practice, especially in football and baseball. His daughter would probably do ballet, tennis, and be in the Girl Scouts with Cecilia, and maybe do drama with Violet as well.

Also, it’s very much cannon that Chris spoils his daughter 10X more than his boys. His little girl wants to go on a Sephora shopping trip? Take his card and go crazy. His boys want to go out with their friends? Here’s $25 for the both of you.

Chris is also such a loving husband. He’d buy you gifts “Just because”. Or if you mention a new designer purse online, it would mysteriously show up on the dining table to greet you when you woke up…With a handwritten note of course. You were very much a spoiled wife, but he didn’t care, you gave him three beautiful kids for god sakes, of course he’d buy you whatever you want.

If there was ever a time any of your boys were disrespectful to you while he was gone, (Because they know better than to mess with their mother while dad’s around.) He’d give them the “You don’t disrespect MY wife.” Talk. Ugh, 😣 give me a chance Chris…☹️

- Anon! 🎀

🎀 ANON I FUCKING LOVE YOU I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT HIM BUT NO ONE REALLY DOES MUCH IN THE CHRIS TAG ANYMORE AND THAT PLUMMETS MY MOTIVATION!!!

But I'll scream with you anyday bb!!!

(I'm sorry this is so long I just couldn't help myself 😭)

Okay so I've had the idea that Chris met someone with a child from a previous relationship (Your first born son, Let's name him Oliver and call him Ollie for short! He's like 2 years older than Violet. He struggles a bit in school so they're in the same grade, along with his younger brother, after he was held back in 5th and 8th grade but that's okay! Everyone struggles!)

Ollie was like 2 when they first met. Your ex-husband was a HORRIBLE MAN, absolutely terrible to you and the only good thing he ever did was bless you with Ollie. That's it.

Chris and his wife met through work (let's be honest here, how tf else would he meet a woman? Chris is very much a workaholic.) His wife is basically the lead of the BSAA's dispatch response team (Basically what Hunnigan does at the FOS but the BSAA's version) and she's good at her job. Very strong willed and mouthy as a mf. Isn't scared to go back at anyone over the radio and definitely got into it with Chris once or twice before they officially met.

(catch me posting what happened when they met in person the first chance someone asks)

Anyway!!

After y'all start dating it doesn't take long before you introduce Chris to your son and Ollie is just OBSESSED with Chris. Like you've never seen this kid so excited to see another human being until Chris shows up. You two only started dating for a few months and Ollie already calls Chris dad. You try correcting him scared AF that Chris is gonna get freaked out but he's actually super chill with it. He's use to taking care of people, he basically raised Claire after their parents died but this little guy is much younger and a lot more fun and excitable than Claire was.

A few months into the relationship you find out you're pregnant. Chris is excited but also freaking out with how often he's gone. But everything works out and you end up having your second son, Christopher Jr but CJ for short.

You and Chris end up getting married not long after your first anniversary after the babies born. Not making a big deal out of anything just getting papers signed and having a little get together celebrating everything.

2 years go by, Ollie's in Kindergarten and CJ does daycare. You start getting horribly ill out of nowhere. So you go get checked out and oh God you're pregnant again...

(This would be the point in time where Leon starts bugging for another baby with his wife)

9 months of Chris being a nervous wreck fly by and the world meets your daughter, Talulla, Lulu for short.

Chris would be adamant on sticking the kids in after school activities once they're old enough. His boys would do sports and his baby girl in softball and girl scouts so she can hangout with her pseudo cousins. (Her being 2 years younger than Violet and 2 years older than Cecilia) Until her older cousin quits cause girl scouts are for babies (🙄)

Chris and his wife would be UBER COMPETITIVE when it came to cookie selling season. It's all out war between the Redfield's and Kennedy's every year.

I feel like Ollie would also really be musically gifted and play piano for the school choir and musicals. Lulu would Ed up wanting to do drama but be a stage hand or in the costume department. She's actually very shy.

CJ is basically Chris when he was a kid. Always doing stupid shit... Getting in trouble over the dumbest of things but looking out for others. (Definitely beat up that kid who was picking on Violet when they were 7.)

You're getting calls from the school at least once a month because CJ got in trouble for either getting into an argument with a teacher over rules or another kid tried something stupid.

#chris redfield x you #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield x y/n #chris redfield #chris redfeild x reader #🏘️ domestic life with chris redfield

[izzythefox]

aftg x barbie (hear me out)

in honor of the barbie 2023 movie i’ve been marathoning the early/mid 2000’s classics (swan lake, princess & the pauper, iykyk) and naturally i started thinking, what if we made it aftg? O_o

now i cannot write for the life of me so this is just a collection of ideas and headcanons - if there are any other early barbie turned aftg fans, this one's for you

Magic of Pegasus AU

MoP is such an underrated film, its one of the only ones where the main couple doesn’t immediately fall for each other so all the banter and the sass is -immaculate-

the hardest part in casting this one was figuring out who’s gonna be the horse… like someone’s gotta do it. first i thought andrew & aaron as annika & brietta for the twinyard solidarity but neil gives me such annika vibes - i will elaborate - so kevin, sweet prince, its time for u to sprout some wings

So we have Neil as the prince, master figure skater that i’ve now decided he is, goes into town where he’s propositioned by Riko, evil/bastard sorcerer, that if he doesn’t marry him in 3 days everyone in the kingdom is forever turned to stone. alas, he’s rescued by the mysterious stallion that is kevin (im so sorry to the kevin stans out there) to bring him to Cloud Kingdom as a refuge. like in the movie, we find out kevin was once offered the same deal from riko, only when he refused, he was turned into a horse :/

idk if allison or dan would be the cloud queen, they both could fit the role tbh, and maybe matt & renee are their knights? (i’m imagining renee as this valkyrie-type warrior, she’s just so cool)

Cloud Queen, let's say Allison, tells Neil about building the wand of light to break the spell and I can just imagine his face

Allison: Yeah, there’s this legend of a wand, we don’t know if it’s real, and you just have to find a measure of courage, ring of love, and gem of ice lit by hopes eternal flame :D

Neil: you want me to do what

but at his core, he wants to protect his people so ofc he’s gonna do it. Neil & Kevin set off for the Forbidden Forest where in comes Andrew as Aidan. when i tell you annika and aidan are so andreil-coded, like the script literally writes itself!!!

*for context, Neil & Kevin got caught in a rope trap*

Andrew: Tell me, who’s bright idea was it to come to here? Only fools come to the Forbidden Forest.

Neil: And yet, you’re here. :)))))

LIKE CMONNNN neil would absolutely antagonize the very person who clearly has the advantage, it just works.

the whole scene with neil in the giant’s hut outsmarting ollie by taunting him to chain himself to a tree and break free, it fits so well and just to see andrew’s reaction at the end, (”you’re braver than i thought…”) yessir

they recruit andrew, as he’s a blacksmith, to later put the wand together and the parallels in their relationship, the whole thing about needing a second chance to set things right - chef’s kiss.

we can skip over some of the middle plot, there’s a lot of traveling and banter that i could probably talk about all day but cut to the scene where they finally assemble the wand and reverse the spell on Kevin, can u picture for me:

Andrew: That looks good on you, Kevin.

Kevin: Shut up.

thank you.

it gets real juicy from here, once Neil & Kevin and Andrew dramatically part ways (he really doesn’t want to leave them on their own) Riko comes back around for the attack. they fall into the ravine, neil is fucking -pissed- bc no one hurts Kevin like that again and orders the wand to destroy Riko but, gasp, it doesnt work?? neil is desperate at this point, he says fine Riko i’ll marry you but Riko is all bitch you just tried to kill me, how about I just kill you…and buries him under an avalanche

the angst, the beautiful angst of Andrew coming back in on Kevin alone in the ravine because where is neil? this snarky prince who gets under his skin but is also so smart and understands him? they dig neil out from where riko trapped him under an avalanche and just.. “I never should’ve left you”. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

when they’re back in the cloud kingdom and neil is still unconscious:

Andrew, internally: Please wake up, please. I need you.

check me into the ward rn bc i am unheathily obsessed with this.

Neil wakes up, but lo and behold its sunset on the third day. Renee, matt, and dan try to prolong the sunset for neil bc now these are also his people and they’re not gonna let him suffer. We get a fun scene with neil and andrew ice skating their way through Riko’s big mountain, palace, thing.. even in the movie they just love one-upping each other.

we get to the climax where neil has recovered the ‘broken’ wand from Riko’s lair but the gem falls off the cliff (neil would never fumble like that but for the sake of plot, i digress). enter andrew with the second gem he secretly took earlier!! because he’s willing to give up his second chance to make sure neil gets his!!! they undo all of Riko’s spells and cue the very barbie-esque speech that the wand can only work out of love, never hate <3

Neil returns the wand to the Cloud Kingdom for safe keeping and u know, that blacksmith from earlier seems to be real fond of forever staying by his side~

This has gotten pretty long now that i go back thru it lol and this may be for a very niche audience- i’m not sure if i’ve seen any aftg MoP au’s but i just love the concept and merging my old hyperfixations with new ones has been super fun

i would share more of these with other barbie movies but i’m also kinda new to this so lmk which ones were ur favorite or what u think!

#aftg #aftg headcanon #andreil #aftg x barbie #part 1??

[glennk56]

This is a re-written post of my fictional account of Stan and Ollie coming home from their first European Tour in 1932. I re-wrote it after learning that the Georgia Military College was not as devastating to a young child as I thought and maybe was helpful in Ollie being the agile, athletic portly fellow he was. The school was the closest school for residents of Milledgeville. It had an elementary school and it was co-ed.I will be deleting the other soon. The only time Hardy did not attend this school was the short time after his mother married her last husband, CF Jackson. This man was mysterious and did seem to disappear. Pictured above is Laurel & Hardy, Larry Semon, Frank ‘Fatty” Alexander, Hughie Mack, Myrtle Reeves Hardy and Viola Morse.

Stan and Babe are in Stan’s suite on the S.S. Paris on the way home from their European Vacation/Tour. Babe’s wife Myrtle is having a spa treatment and Stan invited Babe over to have breakfast with him in his suite. Both are in underwear with silk robes on over them. They have finished breakfast and Babe is sipping on a Bloody Mary. Stan is lounging on the bed with an empty cup of coffee. Babe is sitting on the edge of a settee in the room with his robe opened and legs spread.

Stan: It’ll be nice to get home. That wasn’t exactly the vacation I had in mind.

Babe: Me neither. It was exhausting. But the people. All over. They love us. Could you ever imagine we’d            ever be this loved?

Stan: No I didn’t.  I don’t think Charlie Chaplin would ever get that kind of reception.

Babe: Are you still in competition with Chaplin? We’re Laurel and Hardy. Everybody loves Laurel and Hardy. I’m glad you thought to invite me over while Myrtle is having a spa day. We get so little time to be just you and me.

Stan: Isn’t it funny how so many people think we are a real couple? I mean they think we really live and sleep together.

Babe: (finishes his drink, stands up, removes his robe, and scoots over to Stan on the bed with a big grin.) And they’re so disappointed when we tell them we don’t. (and pokes Stan in the gut) That’s so funny. Scoot over. (Stan is propped up on some pillows and Babe lies down in front of him. Facing him.

Stan: I wish everybody thought that way. Maybe it’s just that way in Europe.

Babe: No, it’s in America too. A lot of the fan mail I get assumes we live together.

Stan: But if we were a couple, I’m sure some church groups would condemn us. You know Hal Roach and MGM make sure people know we are two married men.

Babe: Would two married men do this? (He grabs Stan by the head and starts kissing his face all over, finishing on the lips.)

Stan: Ha-Ha. (looking at Babe with familiar love) What has gotten into you? You’re so giddy today.

Babe: It’s you.  I think. I’m happy right now. Even Myrtle can’t get me down now.

Stan: You’ve shown me some of the greeting cards you give her. You write some very flowery prose. You’re very romantic.

Babe: I try. But I can’t please her in bed like most men could.

Stan: Why is that?

Babe: Well. My penis isn’t very big. I think you might even say it’s very small. Here look. (Babe pops off the bed and pulls down his boxers.)

Stan: Where is it?

Babe: It’s there. Just hiding in my fat. (Babe reaches down presses in the fat around the penis and it pops out.) There. Hello Stanley. (He waves it at Stan.)

Stan: Oh, you are small.

(Babe pulls his boxers back up and comes around the bed and gets in behind him and puts his arm around Stan’s waist.)

Babe: See? (pressing up against Stan’s backside).  Can you imagine me fucking her with that? You wonder why I’ve never had children?

Stan: If you try real hard. You might make it happen.

Babe: What’s funny is, that’s how Madelyn (Saloshin-first wife) got me to marry her.

Stan: How do you mean?

Babe: She told me she was pregnant, and the baby could only be mine.

Stan: And you believed her?

Babe: I was young and horny. It was the first time I had sex. I couldn’t stay in her and I basically came outside of her vagina. I pushed in again, so I thought maybe that’s what did it. I wasn’t sure so I asked my Mama if it could be.

Stan: You asked your Mother?

Babe: I had nobody else to ask. And my Mother knew my penis was small. Mama was sure Madelyn was lying. So I believed she was lying, but how could I be entirely sure. Madelyn said we had to be married before she started showing as to protect her reputation. She then said she could help me with my career. We could move to Jacksonville (from Atlanta) and I could find a job at one of the studios down there. And since she had ties in the entertainment world, she could get me in.

Stan: Is that how you got in the movies?

Babe: Kind of. It turns out she wasn’t pregnant and said she miscarried the baby soon after we married. Mama was livid. She called me a fool and a sucker for marrying her. I couldn’t even bring Madelyn home to meet her. It turned out Madelyn’s ties to entertainment didn’t help much in getting me a job. It was my constantly bugging the studios, my agility and Fatty Arbuckle getting popular that got me the job. I do credit her with getting me to Jacksonville and making me choose my own nickname, so the studios wouldn’t call me Fatty. Kids used to tease and taunt me with Fatty and I didn’t want to be known as Fatty Hardy for the rest of my life.

Stan: I thought an Italian barber gave you the nickname?

Babe: VIM or King Bee or Vitagraph. I can’t remember what stories came from which studio. I never attended College either. I’m not smart enough.

Stan: Were you angry that she tricked you?

Babe realized he is opening up about stuff he never told Stan before, maybe it was because he was holding him in his arms.

Babe: Of course. I was mad. But there was another reason I married her and it was probably the most important to me.

Stan: What was that?

Babe: She..I..

Babe didn’t believe he was going to tell Stan his big secret. But this is what he wanted to do, so he pressed on.

Babe: She caught me giving a blowjob to the stage manager of the theater in Atlanta in the dressing room.

Stan: What?

Stan, who was feeling very cozy and comfortable cuddling in Babe’s arms suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable. Only slightly though and he relaxed again, wondering where this was leading, excitedly.

Babe: You heard me right. But she never threatened to tell anyone about it. What she did do was let me continue seeing men sexually while we were married. I couldn’t see other women, but I could see men as long as she didn’t know about it. She didn’t consider men as threats. I couldn’t leave her for a man.

Stan: This wasn’t a one-time thing?

Babe: No. I like the company of men as well as women. She didn’t feel the men were a threat. Afterall in showbiz it’s fairly common. I wasn’t even a good catch back then. All I had was ambition and a good singing voice and that couldn’t help me get into pictures. She just wanted to get married before she got too old just so she wouldn’t be an old maid. She did make it hard for me to meet with men or other women. I worked during the day at Lubin and I worked at the Hotel Cabaret she worked at during the evenings.

Stan: She sounds a lot like Mae, my first wife. Was she trying to control you?

Babe: Looking back on it now. I’d say yes. But I had lots of opportunity with both men and women at the studio. I kept my bargain with the women, but fooled around with almost all the other actors.

Stan is wondering now. Why hasn’t he seen this side of Babe before?

Babe: It wasn’t until Lubin closed in Jacksonville and I was making pictures in New York that I started to see other women. I couldn’t hide that from her. She smelled perfume on me where she shouldn’t have. She seemed to know everything. She always guessed right when she saw me on screen with an actress I liked a lot. We fought a lot in New York. That ended when I came back to Jacksonville in 1916. Those were the best days for my young career. I co-starred as Plump in the Plump and Runt comedies.

Stan: Did you write those?

Babe: I contributed ideas when I thought I had a good one.

Stan: Everybody in this business wrote their own material back then. Nobody was helping me. Why were you special?

Babe: Because we were a Jacksonville studio and the VIM group was all about sharing ideas and putting out the best product we could so we could compete with Hollywood. And Louis Burstein liked me and was still trying to make me into Fatty Arbuckle. It didn’t hurt that I was willing to get on my knees. Now where was I? VIM failed after one year and Louis started King Bee. He gave up on the Fatty Arbuckle idea a told me that if I lost some weight, he would keep me as a foil to Billy West, the Charlie Chaplin imitator. He wanted me to be big, but not roly-poly.

Stan: You were fatter at one time?

Babe: I was fatter much of my life. I had to go on a strict diet and start exercising just to get down to a weight where I could look husky. Then we came to New York again as part of the King Bee company. Madelyn watched me like a hawk. Since I couldn’t see women, I got bold about finding men. I went to underground clubs the showbiz people would frequent and Madelyn would always come with me and sit with a miserable look on her face. I would chat with the guys and ignore the girls so she wouldn’t get upset. The problem was that guys saw me with my wife and thought I wasn’t interested in sex with them. One time I agreed to go back to a guy’s apartment to see his “artwork” and Madelyn would go home knowing what I was doing. He was very macho and I was a little bit afraid of him, but I was in lust. Once we got to his place, all he did was show me his art. It was a one room apartment, so we sat on the bed. I laid back, but he ignored me and continued talking about his art, show me his work and how he wanted to get into a Broadway play. Then I turned to my side and put my leg up on the baseboard of the bed and basically had my ass in his face.

Stan: That’s a hard ass to miss. He didn’t get the hint?

Babe: He got up and (incredulously) started cleaning his apartment. I never got fucked up til then, but with him, I was thinking about it. I would usually lay together naked with the guy, kiss and neck and exchange blowjobs.

Stan: Why didn’t you just tell him?

Babe: I wasn’t sure about him and like I said I was a bit afraid of him. I felt I was wasting my time at this point and got up to make my exit when he stops me and says that he was sorry, but he heard I was a top. I thought he was a top.

Stan: That’s funny. He didn’t give you any clues?

Babe: No. A guy like that needs to.

Stan: Hmm.

Babe: Well Hollywood was the place to be and King Bee eventually moved to Hollywood. Madelyn really resisted us moving to Hollywood, but she had no choice because my career was bringing in more money than hers now.

Stan: Go on. I’m very interested. (Stan was enjoying listening to Babe talk about himself)

Babe: Hollywood was very different from the East coast. I had a lot to learn. For one thing the Hollywood tabloids scared me. I was afraid my career would end if I misbehaved with men. I didn’t know who I could trust. So I swore off men. One thing I did realize was that it was time for me to split with Madelyn. But Madelyn refused to divorce me, so that was a long process. After King Bee closed, I freelanced for a while until 1919 when I signed on with Vitagraph to be the Heavy for Jimmy Aubrey.

Stan: Jimmy’s a friend of mine from Karno. (Comedy Troup from England)

Babe: I can imagine what he told you about me. If he mentioned me at all. I think he saw me as a threat.

Stan: He said you were very good, but you would steal scenes from him. You didn’t know when you shouldn’t be funny.

Babe: As he would tell me often.

Stan: When I came to Roach I saw that you were on the team and I was afraid they would put me with you. I was still trying to build a solo career. Hal said we would be perfect together. I wasn’t seeing it that way. I had some very funny pictures with Joe Rock. But Hal called them garbage and said I needed a fresh start.

Babe: (playfully nibbles at his ear) And I ruined your life for good. Anyway, I met Myrtle during this time. She was from back home in Georgia. I met her at a private party just before prohibition started and she and her sister were so much fun for me. It was like I was back home with my little girlfriends in Georgia. I told her everything about me. Everything. And she didn’t bat an eye. I told that I probably wouldn’t give her any children and I told her how frustrated I was with my marriage and the deal that I had with Madelyn. Myrtle offered the same deal to me. That is if I ever wanted to marry her. I even moved in with them before my divorce was final. That kind of scandal was good for my career. Anyway, at Vitagraph, I met Larry Semon.

Stan: Larry Semon. I worked with him.

Babe: Yes, it turns out he liked to fuck men.

Stan: That doesn’t surprise me. I swore he and Frank Alexander were doing something.

Babe: They were. He said he couldn’t come by masturbating or blowjobs. He could only come in an ass or a pussy. And I think he preferred the men’s asses, big men’s asses. I may have been a little small for him. He was fucking Hughie Mack. And when Hughie Mack left Vitagraph, it was Frank.

Stan: They were both a lot bigger than you.

Babe: Yeah, but he wanted me too. Larry was always horny and he was generously endowed. He was constantly fucking. Men and women.

Stan: And you let him?

It may have been his imagination but he thought he could feel Babe’s little penis get hard just talking about Larry Semon fucking him.

Babe: He definitely wasn’t my type, but he was smooth as a salesman. He knew who to trust and who not to and never had a scare with the tabloids. So he talked me into letting him fuck me.

Stan: How did you know you wanted to do that?

Babe: Well, the first time. I’ve never, ever told anybody this. The first time I was raped.

Stan: Oh my God.

Babe: Yes, my Mom worked hard running a hotel and she appreciated all the help she could get. I think I was 12 years old and this guy was always hanging around. He would do repairs around the hotel. He painted and sometimes I would help him. I didn’t pay much attention, but he was always bugging my sister Emmie. I think he may have raped her too. One night, there was a big fight going on between him and my Mama. Then all of a sudden my Mama was marrying him and my sister married and moved to Philadelphia. That left me and Henry in the house. He let Henry be because Henry could lick him for sure. But he was always picking on me. I don’t even know his name. Just initials, CF. We called him CF. Maybe it meant child fucker. Jackson was his last name. He insisted that I call him Dad. I never did and he beat me more than once for that. At night he would come to my room and jerk me off while I sucked him off. He made me promise not to tell Mama and I didn’t. I was confused. Getting jerked off felt good. Then one night he wanted to show me something new and got on top of me in the bed, pulled up my nightgown and forced himself in me. I yelled loud enough for Mama to hear and she came into the room screaming. CF pushed his way past her and she got me and held me and promised he would never hurt me again. Soon after, she sent me away to Young Harris Academy in the Georgia Mountains where I lived at the school. When I came home again, CF was gone. I never saw him again. I still think Mama killed him and buried him in the basement. I tried to find the body but found nothing. I asked Henry if he killed him, but he just laughed and said he wished he did.

Stan: Turn around. It’s my turn to hold you.

Babe was reluctant. But relented and let go of Stan and flipped over. Stan turned around and put his arm around Babe, who held Stan’s hand around him.

Stan: There. That’s better. Are you okay?

Babe: Oh yeah. I got over that a long time ago. I never did ask my Mama why she married the guy. I assume it was some sort of deal for him to let Emmie go and marry a man her age.

Stan: Where were we? Oh yes. So you let Larry bugger you?

Babe: Bugger he did. And I enjoyed it. Larry wasn’t afraid of the tabloids but he did urge me to get married as soon as my divorce went through. Eventually Larry signed me away from Jimmy and we continued on. Frank too. Sometimes the three of us would get in bed and Larry would fuck one of us and Frank and I would get each other off, while Larry built up another load for the other.

Stan: I’ve lead such a sheltered life. What about Myrtle? Does she know?

Babe: Oh heavens no. I can’t have regular sex with her. I imagine she doesn’t want to hear that I’m getting fucked. But the sex Myrtle and I have is great. I make up for it by being romantic. When we are intimate, that is, when I am home. I lower the lights and she puts on sexy lingerie that I get for her and I wear my silk robe and smoke a pipe. Then I ravage her body with my mouth a tongue. All over. I have become quite the expert at making her come with my tongue. I feel guilty that I’m not home often. I think she drinks because I am not and she fills her time with alcohol. Larry took up a lot of my time, introducing me to golf and the racetrack, as well as the sex. And when I went to Tijuana on weekends, I used Larry as an excuse.

Stan: What do you do now that Larry is no longer with us?

Babe: I was devastated when I heard the news. We were working and one of the guys let us know at lunchbreak. We were doing the picture where we were wearing each other’s pants and couldn’t switch them without getting caught.

Stan: Liberty

Babe: Is that it? Is that what it’s called? Anyway, I’m glad we weren’t doing the scenes up on that building that day. I might’ve fallen. I went home and I cried that night. Let me up, I’ve got to pee.

Stan: (Stan holds him down) Promise me you’ll come back in this position.

Babe: I want you back the other way.

Stan releases him and flips over as Babe runs to the bathroom and comes back shortly getting back in behind Stan.

Babe: Now where were we? Oh, Larry died. I was hoping and believing that the rumors about Larry faking his death to beat his debts were true. Can a person die of pneumonia because he had a nervous breakdown or was depressed? I don’t know. But I thought something was fishy. I couldn’t find anybody who saw the body other than his wife Dorothy and she stood to gain by his death too. He was shipped off to Philadelphia for the funeral. I really thought I’d get a message from him asking me to go to a spot in Mexico on a certain day at a certain time. But nothing like that ever happened.

Stan: That was a few years ago. Has anybody taken his place? (Stan asked, hoping he’d say no.)

Babe: That’s where Viola comes in. I’m sure you’ve heard about her from the tabloids. Myrtle waves those in my face every time I’m the latest news.

Stan: And she buggers you?

Babe: No, haha. Actually I met her through Larry at the track and she knew what went on with us and she reached out to me and told me she knew someone who could replace Larry for me.  So now Viola and I go to the track. People leave me alone with her, we have lunch, have fun then we go back to the hotel and meet up with Hernando. He’s a sexy, young Mexican. He’s got a big cock and knows how to use it. He will fuck both me and Viola. I just have to tip the both of them.

Stan: That must get expensive.

Babe: Yes, it does. I tell Myrtle I’m losing money through gambling on the ponies. But actually, I’m doing much less gambling now. I can’t afford it.

Stan: I have a confession to make too.

Babe: What’s that Stanley?

Stan: I like women. I like strong-willed women. Women who will fight with me. But I’ve entertained the thoughts of loving a man. But for me, I can’t do what you do. There has to be emotional attachment. I don’t even know what I would do sexually. But my time just lying in bed with you has been nice and I’ve been hard the whole time.

Babe: I thought I felt something poking me.

Stan: I used to dream about doing pictures with Mae. She would boss me around and I would be the hen-pecked husband, never good enough to make her happy. I never sorted it out. But when I teamed up with you, I used the same idea. You played Mae’s part. It worked a lot better with you. Babe, I’ve got that emotional attachment to you and I think I love you more than Lois (current wife).

Babe: Stanley, are you asking me to marry you?

Stan: (surprised and embarrassed) Oh no, nothing like that. I just want you to know that if we could, I would. Our careers would be ruined, but I think I’d be happy for the rest of my life.

Babe: I suspect you’re right about it ruining our careers. But if you want to play with me right now, I’m willing to teach you a few things..

PHONE RINGS

Babe: That must be Myrtle back to our room looking for me. That didn’t take as long as I’d hoped.

Stan thinks to himself, What awful timing.

Stan: Can you delay going. I’d be willing to learn.

Babe: I’ll try. But I can’t think of a reason that she’ll accept.

Stan: Don’t answer. Catch up to her later. Say we were exploring the ship.

Babe: Or exploring each other?

Stan turns around in the bed to face Babe, tears welling up.

Stan: Babe, I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. I just didn’t know. I didn’t know I could be with you.

Babe gives him a big hug and kisses him square on the lips.

Babe: I love you too Stan. I can act the way I do with you because you’re the only person since my mother that I can be natural around. I know you can accept me for who I am. We’ve just never been alone together long enough where I could gather my thoughts and tell you without just blurting it out.

Stan: I can’t be like Larry or Hernando though. I think I’m too small too. I think I’d be a bottom. I don’t know. I never tried it.

Babe: Alright then, let’s play around a little bit right now. (Babe stands and removes his boxers with flair and ends up kicking them across the room.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Myrtle: (from the other side of the door) I know you’re in there. I heard you talking.

Babe is standing, wearing only his undershirt and bare from the waist down. Stan is admiring his ass as Babe scans the floor looking for his boxers. Stan realizes he needs to help and grabs Babe’s robe and throws it to him. Babe catches it and slips it on and runs for the door and opens it while tying it. Meanwhile Stan looks around at the floor toward where Babe kicked his underwear.

Babe lets Myrtle in.

Babe: Oh, hello dear. Back so soon.

Myrtle: Didn’t that lady at the Spa call Stan’s room to let you know I was on my way up. We need to get ready for lunch. Come on. Hi Stanley.

Myrtle grabs his hand tugs on him and turns to leave. Then stops to look again at what she thought she saw. She looks again to see a large pair of boxers hanging from a floor lamp. Both Stan and Babe see what she sees too. And nobody says anything as she pulls Babe out of the room.

Myrtle: You too Stan. Get ready for lunch.

Myrtle didn’t leave Babe to be alone with Stan for too long for the rest of the voyage home. Stan spent his time working on their next picture, entitled Their First Mistake.

#Laurel & Hardy fiction #Oliver Hardy

[extremelyblackandwhite]

a year in the life | mob boss! s.s.

pairing: mob boss!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

main work: handmaid

season: winter ❄️

    - Elizabeth! - Sebastian sighed as he followed his two year old daughter who was running around the couch with her white dress stained in blue watercolours. Out of all the days in week of the year his daughter could’ve gotten her clothes dirty, it just had to be when his father-in-law was in the town. The same father-in-law who was still not very friendly with him. Turns out marrying and knocking up his actual daughter was where he drew the lines of niceties. The last thing he needed was to hear another snide remark “Doesn’t my daughter have enough money for you to buy my grandchildren some clothing or has your side of the business gone wrong already?”. Of course, Mr. Forrest seemed to forget children weren’t particularly known for keeping things tidy, specially when 2 of them were still very young.

  - Seb? - Y/N walked into the living room, dressed in a white tweed dress and low heeled shoes, holding Ollie against her. - Elizabeth, stop running away from your father and go change.

  - But mummy ...

  - No. - Y/N interrupted her daughter, one hand on her waist and the other one still holding Ollie. - You have five minutes to be here with some clean clothes or you’re not going to the Winter Fair.

  - Grandpa wouldn’t let that happen. - she pouted.

  - Wanna bet? - Y/N cocked her head slightly to the side.

Lizzie dropped her act and walked past her mum to go back inside her room. Sebastian sighed out of relief, walking over to his wife to kiss her forehead. He didn’t understand why she was so afraid of taking hold of her father’s spot in the family at some point considering she was very good at taking leadership in the home. Heck, if there was someone who couldn’t control her children without even trying it would be her. Forget the many years he had had controlling way more complicated and dangerous people, when it came to his children, he had as much authority as a soft pudding.

She settled Ollie back on the ground who immediately rushed to the toys on the ground, happy he could play without his siblings around. Y/N wrapped her arms around her husband, playfully swinging around as if they were dancing. The winter season was always incredibly romantic for the two of them, mostly because her family tended to come into town and want to spend more time with the children which meant the two of them had more time together. The door bell rang and chaos irrupted as Elizabeth and Nate rushed over to the door. Y/N rolled her eyes, following her children to the door. 

Ollie stepped forward, hugging his father’s leg as he always did whenever someone who wasn’t Y/N or Sebastian rang the door bell. There was no missing the extended family with the four year old, which Sebastian greatly appreciated as no one in her family, either it being her mother’s side, her father or her half-brother cared much for him either. Her father walked into the apartment, greeting the children before he started to inspect everything as he always did. Turns out if his daughter is not living in a gold palace which 10000 servants, it is not good enough. 

    - Oliver, you’ve gotten bigger. - Mr. Forrest said in the tone he sparred only for Y/N and his grandchildren. Ollie tightened his hold on Sebastian’s leg, slightly pushing on his trousers so he could be held up. Sebastian lowered down to pick him up. - Sebastian, I assume you’ve gotten the business deal with the Carranos. My family has a reputation to uphold.

    - Dad, no mob talk in the house. - Y/N crossed her arms, coming over to Sebastian’s side. - No mob talk in front of the children either. 

    - I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s important business, you know that. - she moved her attention to Ollie who had his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. - It’s okay, bubba. It’s just grandpa. Don’t you wanna go with Nate and Lizzie to the winter fair?

    - No. - he turned his face away from his mum, hiding in Sebastian’s shoulder.

    - Aw bud, what about Santa? Don’t you wanna see Santa?

    - Is Santa gonna be there, daddy?

    - Of course he is. - Sebastian bolstered. - You have to tell Santa what you want for Christmas. 

    - And make sure Lizzie doesn’t ask for a lot? - the four year old commented before being put on the ground. Sebastian chuckled, wrapping his arm around his wife as the three children were met by Dan. 

   - They need to be here before 9, dad. Not 10 or 11. - Y/N pointed out. - Lizzie is in a running phase so hold her hand at all times and Ollie gets overwhelmed with big crowds. Nate can calm him down but it always shakes him a bit. 

   - It’ll be fine, sweetheart.

Sebastian kept a tight hold on Y/N as they said goodbye to the kids who all left with her father and Dan, leaving the two alone in a now very silent penthouse. They didn’t like not having the children around, mostly out of overprotectiveness. The two of them hadn’t had particularly healthy relationships with their parents or idillic childhoods and Y/N had just started to have a relationship with her father and mother’s side of the family, so the two liked to spend their free time trying to make their children’s childhood as good as they could. 

   - They are going to be fine, angel. - Sebastian kissed her temple.

   - But Ollie ...

   - Ollie is gonna be fine. He’s like his mumma. - he pulled her away from the door and into an embrace. - Besides, when was the last time we spent some time just the two of us?

   - How old is Lizzie? - she teased. - You know my dad, he always talks about ... mob stuff.

   - Angel, it’s fine. He’s not exactly gonna give them a Ted talk on the mob. 

   - I know but you know how the kids are. Ollie doesn’t like big crowds and Lizzie is always running.

   - Nate is there. He’ll watch over them. I might be starting to think you just don’t want to spend alone time with me. 

   - It’s not that. I love you. - she leaned forward. - It’s just ... it’s gonna be my birthday soon which means it’s gonna be my mum’s ... you know the anniversary of it. I keep thinking about the kids and if they’re safe and if something was to happen to them, I just, I couldn’t bare it.

   - You think I’m gonna let anything happen to you or to my children? - he cocked his head to the side. - They’d be dead if they even thought it. They’d be dead if they even made one of my kids cry. You got nothing to worry about, okay? Besides, your dad would probably let people kill me first then touch you or the babies. 

   - Don’t say that. I don’t want anything to happen to you either. 

   - Angel as long as you’re married to me I’m not going anywhere. Even if you weren’t ... I’d probably not go anywhere either. 

   - Stalker, much? - she joked.

   - Oh, yes, I am obsessed with you. - he kissed her. - What should we do today?

   - Do you have any candles?

   - Are we going to summon the spirits? 

   - No but you could drip wax over me. 

   - Angel, you’re toying with me. 

   - Not really, I was hoping you’d toy with me.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n

[poodlejoonas]

Dad!BC AU - the moms

So wow-ihateithere and I (because for some reason Tumblr won’t let me directly @ you) have been tossing out so many amazing ideas for the BC dad AU lately that we’ve thought of pretty much every scenario under the sun. One idea I’d like to throw in here is the group that is the moms who make up their own personal wolfpack. Since they’ll be brought in as stand-alone characters soon, it would be better to have a basic introduction for each and how they know/interact with each other.

(Under the read-more for length)

Joel - Emilia (”Millie”) Hokka - The absolute baddest bitch you will meet on this planet. She's a 5′1″ sweetheart, but if you lay a single finger on her kid, her husband, her BC brothers and sisters, or any of her nieces and nephews, she will become the human embodiment of that one line from “Wolfpack.” You know the one. She’s gone viral before for Joel needing to hold her back from fighting the mom of a kid who’s bullying Enkka at school, and literally watching this tiny woman become a human hurricane at the drop of a hat was enough for this kid to immediately leave him alone. From then on, kids at school know not to come after Viktor Hokka because his mom doesn’t play around. Why would she? After all, she dedicated 18 months of her life to trying to become a mom, and anyone who dares to come after her baby needs a running start to get away from her.

Sometimes even Joel has to hold her back from doing something she probably should regret but wouldn’t if it involved her family. He knows better than to cross a line with her. Then there are other times when they work together to be the shadiest power couple on earth, like when Aleksi’s ex-girlfriend Laila slanders him in the media for talking about taking custody of their son from her. If Joel comes home pissed about something, she’s the first one to jump on board with whatever plan he has to get his point across. She would totally have a stan account on Instagram dedicated to her called “milliehokkasupremacy”. And Joel loves his wife so much that he would eat every bit of this shit up. When she tells someone off, he writes down what she says and turns it into the lyrics of Blind Channel’s next single.

In short, Millie Hokka is 100 percent That Bitch™.

Bonus bit because this idea made me laugh: (in the comments section of a post slandering BC) @milliehokka: Bitch you better take this shit down before I puncture your fucking tires @joelhokka: She's my better half ❤️

Joonas - Kirsten Porko - Kirsten’s one of the quiet BC moms, and a hell of a lot more tame than Millie. But she has her shining moments every now and then, like when she was wondering why Millie took Joel with her knowing that she could’ve easily beaten that bully’s mom’s ass without him. She has the patience of a saint, being married to Joonas and raising two (soon to be three) kids with him. But she adores every minute of their chaotic little family. Since Sohvi was the first of the BC kids, the guys were quick to show up in support of her and Joonas. She was also pretty lonely until the others started dating their wives, and she was more than happy to have more friends to bond with.

She does the most to mother the rest of the kids when they need it. They love to come to their house because Kirsten will have a fresh pan of cookies ready for them. They also like hanging out with Joonas, but Kirsten is a fun aunt on her own. She’s typically the first to show up when one of the other moms tosses out a cry for help in taking care of their kids, especially when they’re newborns and the guys are away on tour. Kirsten’s total aesthetic is the absolute opposite of Joonas’s: she’s bubbly and wears nothing but pastel dresses and soft fabrics. A lot of people wonder what a “nice girl” like her is doing with a punk rocker like Joonas, until you see them interact and know that they’re crazy in love with each other and their kids. She’s the unassuming type, but she loves pranks as much as her husband and kids; she’ll play along whenever there’s a really good one and sometimes she can totally outdo them.

Niko - Jenna Moilanen - Jenna is Millie’s co-conspirator and partner-in-crime. If Millie needs someone to back her up and Joel’s trying to talk her out of whatever she’s thinking about doing, Jenna is the first to show up on the scene. She’s very much Niko’s type - she has just as many tattoos as him, several piercings, and hair that changes color depending on her mood. She’s naturally a blonde but you almost never see her as one. A lot of people tend to pass judgement on her abilities as a mom based on her appearance, but both of her and Niko’s kids adore her (especially their daughter Lahja) and they grow up happy with their loving parents. She’s a fantastic cook and works as a head chef at a five-star steakhouse, and she’s always willing to come home and cook for her family as well. She and Millie are the two shortest of the group, and it’s hilarious because they are both absolute spitfires.

Jenna has the best intuition when it comes to deciding who is trustworthy and who isn’t. There’s no “leader” in the group, but most of the others trust Jenna when someone gives her a bad feeling. She would be the one to raise the alarm on Laila years before she and Aleksi ever break up, and Laila would find the absolute worst way to end up on Jenna’s shit list. In her time with the group, Laila does nothing to help take care of the rest of the kids or try to fit in with the group. One day, when Leevi cries because he needs something, Jenna spots an annoyed expression out of the corner of her eye coming from Laila. It takes an intervention from God to stop Jenna from ripping her apart on the scene. The most important thing to note about Jenna: she calls her closest friends “bitch” affectionately. The moment it stops being affectionate, there’s no turning back.

Olli - Kaarina Matela - The quietest and calmest of the BC moms. She perfectly matches her husband’s energies, which is why they parent their daughters so well. She was definitely more calm than him on the day they learned they were having twins, and still is to this day. When he was panicking about their pregnancy scare, she was still managing to stay collected somehow (but just as relieved as he was). She’s very much like a suburban soccer mom type, but far from being a Karen because she’s aggressively kind to everyone around her, including hardworking people. And Olli just adores her so much, sometimes he doubts if he even deserves her. She’s always the first to remind him that there’s no one else she would rather be with.

Kaarina is the arts and crafts kind of aunt. During the summer, she likes to have the kids come over for day camp style hangout sessions where they mix in time outside with craft activities. She’s the reason why Olli’s stage outfits have been so cool lately, because she’s got a perfect eye for colors and is super skilled at hand-stitching patches. If the kids need anything repaired, they’ll know to go to Aunt Rina first because she’ll either make it as good as new, or turn it into some sick artwork. All the moms get along but she and Kirsten vibe together the best. They get together and plan the summer activities for the kids, which involve Rina planning the crafts and Kirsten baking for, and with, them.

Tommi - Marja Lalli - Marja is unique in her position as a BC mom because she joined the group when her son Miikka from a previous relationship was already almost 4. For a brief time, she was worried about herself and Miikka feeling left out of the group dynamic that was already there, but they were so quick to invite her in as one of them. A lot of it had to do with her being friends with Jenna since elementary school, and Jenna knew that the sisterhood would be more than happy to accept her. She and Niko help set her up with Tommi because they both know he would love her and accept Miikka as his own. She’s chill and reserved, but she’s still a ton of fun to be around. Along with Kaarina and Kirsten, she’s one of the level-headed moms and is typically the voice of reason for a lot of things (especially when it comes to trying to contain Millie and Jenna’s tempers).

The rest of the moms were thrilled when she told them she was pregnant with Anna, but constantly concerned and fretting over her when she was on occasional bed rest. If Tommi couldn’t be with her, it was one of them coming over to help take care of her and Miikka. Marja’s health showed the caring side of the sisterhood of the BC moms, how they are willing to take care of each other in sickness as well as celebrating the good times and defending each other from drama. Even months after Anna is born, they still come over from time to time to see if there’s any way they can help.

Aleksi - Laila Pekkanen (later on, marries Hanna Kaunisvesi) - So this one is a bit complicated. For about three years, Aleksi was in a high-profile relationship with Laila Pekkanen, a producer who worked with him on a solo single before joining BC. They meet again a couple years later and begin a relationship that last for about three years. But it was far from loving, as they were just in general not good for each other. A few weeks after their break-up, Laila calls Aleksi while he’s in the studio to break the news to him that she’s pregnant, which sends Aleksi into total emotional turmoil because he thought they were being careful. Of all the guys, he’s the most careful with avoiding this kind of thing, but it was her who missed one too many days of her birth control. They’re barely on speaking terms, but they agree to try to stay cordial until Aleksi can take full custody of the child himself. She admits to having no maternal instinct and wants nothing to do with the baby.

Here’s where it gets messy. Aleksi finally decides to break his silence on the matter and announces via Instagram that he will be a father and raise his son on his own. He does his best to tell his side of the story without dragging Laila down. But she takes it personally and goes on the radio to try to attack Aleksi, feeling like she’s being treated like a villain and a bad person for giving up her child. She feels like she’s being “exposed” in thinking that Aleksi publicly acknowledging their son’s existence would ruin her career, because she’d been trying everything possible to cover it up. It becomes a major feud between her and her team, and Aleksi and the BC team, but more industry people can back him up as a stand-up guy than they can come to her defense. She nearly ends up having Noah prematurely, and yet Aleksi still shows up in support, more so for their son than for her. When Noah is born months later, she refuses to hold him and immediately cuts off all contact with Aleksi. 

Aleksi raises Noah alone and learns to support his son when he’s later diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Noah is semi-verbal and partially communicates with sign language. He uses sign in situations when he meets a stranger, and Aleksi respects his intuition when someone makes him uncomfortable. Noah has separation anxiety from losing his mom at a young age, so Aleksi refuses to date for years because he doesn’t want to bring a revolving door of strangers around him. But then he meets Hanna, who makes an almost instant connection with him. He’s hesitant to make a decision about a long-term relationship with her until he sees how well she works with Noah. She’s one of the first people he opens up to - mostly because of her experience as a child psychologist - but the moment that seals the deal is when Noah calls her “mom” for the first time (in sign to his cousins). Fans and people he works with can’t help but notice that Aleksi is so much happier with Hanna than Laila. And as much as he would like to have a baby with her, he’s happy having Noah and wants to invest his energy into ensuring his happiness. But Hanna understands, because she’s an angel and only wants the best for her family.

#blind channel #dad!blind channel #no idea what else to tag this as lol #this is a lot more fun than making them all reader inserts #i love writing reader inserts but it'll be nice to see them interacting with each other

[itcertainlyisl-n-h]

Just Plain Nuts...Part 2

She came trouncing out of the house onto the back porch...frying pan still in hand.  She was drunk.  She was always drunk.  Well then so was he.  He looked up from what he was doing...lost in a haze...lost in a daze...snapping himself out of some wild fantasy...some dark and scary place that his mind had gone to.  He had reached the final straw. The one that broke the camel’s back as it were.  He laughed...giddily actually.  It wasn’t a resigned laugh...it wasn’t a true laugh...it was actually one of his patented, couldn’t stop himself guffaws as he forcefully shoved the shovel into the pliant earth once more and tossed the mound of dirt to the side.  

He barely recognized her.  Her eyes filled with malice, scorn and madness...he had only met one other character like her before...in his mind...He had read the novel Jane Eyre countless times.  It was one of his favorite books to go to when he wanted to escape.  Sure it seemed more like a romance novel for lonely housewives...but then that’s what he felt like from time to time.  In it, the lord and master of the house, Edward Rochester had wanted to marry the governess of his ward, Jane Eyre but he had a terrible secret he was hiding.  His own wife locked up in the attic.  She was a lunatic and was forced on him through an arranged marriage. Rochester had wanted something pure...something wholesome...someone who loved him and he loved back with all of his heart...and that was Jane...not...Bertha Mason...Not the woman standing in front of him now.  

“Stanley....Stanley what are you doing there??!!”  She shouted at him angrily.  Her hand...permanently on her hip the other grasping the frying pan tightly.  She wasn’t afraid to use it again if he came close to her.  If he tried to touch her once more.  She was afraid of him.  She didn’t like it when he got that look in his eye...the one he was leveling her with now.  When they drank...things got unpredictably predictable, very fast.  Things got thrown. Things got broke.  Police were often called.  The cycle never ended.  She would scream at him...accuse him...call him every name she could think of and the minute he tried to defend himself in anyway she would flip on a dime, becoming hysterical, dramatical and the waterworks would flow.  She would lay the guilt on him so thickly he would run to her side, begging her to forgive him, promising he’d never leave her...he would always love her and that he would take care of her.  

She had a power over him that no other woman had.  She had him around her proverbial finger and he was, as always, helpless and too vulnerable to do anything about it.  This again was one of those times.  

He didn’t answer her and just kept staring at her as if he had just seen her for the first time in his life.  That his eyes were opened.  That he no longer saw the person he fell in love with.  That he no longer saw the person that he gave up Ruth for...that he ran away with...that he had often vowed she was “To his heart”  and that she was his baby...his sweetheart...he didn’t recognize her anymore. 

Panic was in her voice as she rushed down the stairs and into the yard.  He had been pulling up trees, chopping at bushes...basically turning his backyard into a scene right from “Big Business” When he and Babe completely obliterated Finn’s house...he actually smirked at the memory.  Illiana surveyed the damage to her roses...to her shade trees to her backyard sanctuary where she had spent a lot of her days lounging in celebrity luxury.  She took in the large gaping hole right in the middle of the yard, growing ever larger as Stan continued to attack it further with vicious stabs and grunts.  

“Stanley!!”  She yelled again... “Durak neschastnyi...Balvan!!” 

He paused.  Turning slowly he leveled her with his coldest look.  Today he knew would be his last on earth...if he had a say in it.  He had never felt the knot of burning anger...twisting and writhing inside of him.  The very core of his being loathed her at that moment...and couldn’t and didn’t want to stop himself.  He wanted it to be over.  He grit his teeth and bit his lip so hard it bled...She saw the monster in his eyes then.  The one she had been fearing all along.  

“Poshyel k chyertu...”  

“Why are you digging that hole...to get there?” She screeched at him.  Her voice trembling but deep down knowing the answer.  

“To bury you in, Shuvalova.”

..................

Oliver Hardy stepped quietly into the trailer that he and his partner Stan Laurel shared at the Hal Roach Studios.  He didn’t want to startle the man he knew was so easily rattled, more so than usual these days.  He sighed as he looked at his partner and friend of over thirteen years scribbling furiously on some papers and only pausing to clack away at his ever present typewriter.  By now he knew how to read the man better than he did himself.  He knew something was terribly wrong.  It had been wrong for a few months now.  He wasn’t going to let it go on much longer.  He knew when it was right to speak to Stan and he felt the time for a real heart to heart was coming to a head.  He remembered the time before.  The last time.  And the time before that.  Enough was enough.   

He had escorted Stan from the jail that night.  He looked pitiful...sad...scared...alone.  He knew he didn’t want to talk about it by the way he held his head when Ollie walked into the jailhouse.  He didn’t want to bring any further indignity to him.  He saw that he was only clad in boxers and an old army blanket that looked like a remnant from the first world war. If there was a camera he would have looked at it before going over to the dejected man and putting a hand on his shoulder.  They didn’t speak.  He cleared up the matter of getting Stan out of jail so that he wouldn’t have to spend the night there.  He made sure that one of Illiana’s friends was called and that she would come to collect her and take her back to their home and stay with her for a while.  Stan tried to protest but Ollie insisted that it was best for them if they were apart for now and that Stan stay with him until this all blew over.  

The ride to Ollie’s house was quiet.  Stan looked at him from time to time as the cab driver took them through the dark streets...dawn just creeping up over the Hollywood sign in the distance.  He reached out and put his hand over Babe’s covering it in a warm gesture and in that way, thanked him.  Ollie knew that was his way and nodded his head.  They were both tired to the bone.  They knew they were to start filming their new picture “Blockheads” soon and it was time to straighten up and fly right again.  Time to make more magic.  Ollie looked at Stan and saw that a lot of the magic had left his eyes.  He didn’t want to know the light that was replacing it now.  He was concerned but he would let Stan tell him...like always.  

They reached Oliver’s home and paid the driver.  Stan leaned into Ollie’s shoulder suddenly exhausted and barely able to stand.  He whimpered softly and Ollie finally put his arm around him.  He held him steady as they moved toward his front door.  

“She’s just so mean, Babe...” 

“I know, Stan...I know.” 

“I love her.”

“I know you do, Stanley...you’re a man consumed with it...always.” 

He lead Stan into the house and down the hall to the guest room, well really Stan and Lois’s room when they came to visit on the odd occasion.  Lois more often than not...she liked staying at Uncle Babe’s house.  

He pulled back the covers against the protests of not being tired, and that he needed a drink to take the edge off and the refusal of said drink and the struggling to get into some of his spare pajamas that he kept in the dresser drawer and the struggle of even more refusing to cooperate, Oliver finally got Stan to lie down and on his side to sleep. 

“Sleep with me, Babe...” 

“Stan.”

“You know what I mean...I don’t want to be alone.” 

“But you know what it leads to...what it always does.” 

“Is that wrong?”

“With my wife in the other room...yes.” 

A resigned sigh with only the slightest tinge of old jealousy. “Then just sleep...please.” 

Lord help him he knew better.  He knew better every time...but he could still never resist him.  Even now at 4:30 in the morning on some random night...after checking on his wife...seeing her sound asleep...he carefully climbed in on his side of the bed and wrapped his arms around his now snoring houseguest.  He pulled him closer to his chest and allowed himself to breathe in the intoxicating scent of Stan Laurel...all of him...as he turned out the light, pulling the covers over them.  There would be time to figure things out...tomorrow. 

Part 3 to come!

#laurel and hardy #stan laurel #oliver hardy #fanfiction

[kideternity]

For the ask game: Helena Bertinelli, Selina Kyle, Cassandra Cain, Harper Row, Dinah Lance, Diana Prince & Stephanie Brown

Oh god oh yea okay hold on op this will get long (under read more)

Helena Bertinelli

How I feel about this character: I adore her 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 literally my wife my muse my love

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Dinah, Karen, Renee

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Helena and Eel, John Henry and Zauriel ^_^ also think she and Vic Sage should have “LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO!” Energy together

My unpopular opinion about this character: I love Barbara dont get me wrong but shes an AWWFUUUUUULL friend to Helena 😭😭😭 like I LITERALLY CANNOT GET OVER HOW BABS CANONICALLY BEFRIENDED HELENA SOLELY TO MANIPULATE HER ORIGINALLY... not to mention all of that unnecessary beef over dick and like OTHER PEOPLE calling Helena batgirl.....

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish she stayed with the justice league for more time so much 😭😭😭 I have a soft spot for JLA (1997) always its my fav critically examined run but MAN helena getting fired when the first run was ending pissed me off!!!!

my OTP: Probably right now Dinahelena? Tie between Reneehelena and that one

my cross over ship: I don’t have a ton of non dc media I like but Liz sherman from hellboy maybe

a headcanon fact: She has a wine cooler in her car at all times for people to grab a drink from if needed, the only rule she has is to try not to spill it everywhere because it’s a bitch to get out of her leather seats

Selina Kyle

How I feel about this character: Admittedly idk a ton about Selina I need to haul ass on reading catwoman solos 😭 I've had a complicated relationship with her but as of right now I like her! I think she’s cool

All the people I ship romantically with this character: All i'm turning up is Zatanna bc my friend writes really good zee/selina fics wjwjajajwua stan randy!!!!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I am like OBSESSED w the small little friendship tidbits Helena B and Selina have....... its not suer amazing or anything but huntress year old Selina insta best friending helena made me 🥺

My unpopular opinion about this character: IM NOT REALLY SURE WHY SELINA IS CONSIDERED A GOTHAM CITY SIREN NGL.... like its most likely definitely me knowing nothing Abt popular characters but its just always struck me as kinda weird/the only thing ivy harley and selina have in common is like. The most well known bad women in gotham

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I WISH WE GOT TO SEE MORE OF HER MENTORING KITRINA FALCONE...... FUCKING CATGIRL..... LIKE SHE JUST FUCKING SHIPS HER OFF TO A BOARDING HOUSE AND THEN WE NEVER SEE KITRINA AGAIN LIKE I GET WHY BUT MAN MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!!!

my OTP: idk sry !

my cross over ship: Felicia hardy purely because its just really fucking funny to me

a headcanon fact: Selina fucking hates Gnort more then anything imaginable

Cassandra Cain

How I feel about this character: I like her!!!!! Definitely my second favourite batkid after Duke ^_^

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Steph

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Duke! Ultimate siblings. Also just like the idea of Lonnie and Cass getting along bc they tell old men they suck

My unpopular opinion about this character: Cass should not be able to beat everybody. She should not be able to beat people of unimaginable power such as Dr Fate. Like I think she could defeat normal fighters, or maybe enhanced fighters, but actual metas and magic casters etc I don’t think she would be able to, especially since iirc she almost fucking died fighting metahuman assassins??? So

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I know we all say it but let cass be batman v_v but also let her be batman and let carrie Kelly be her batwoman so that they can absolutely hate each other I wanna see that play out

my OTP: Stephcass im basic

my cross over ship: n/a

a headcanon fact: Duke introduced her to heavy metal now she cant get enough of it

Stephanie Brown

How I feel about this character: I like her! I still need to continue reading her batgirl solo and more but I like her! Good character!

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Cass

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Lonnie ^_^ Rebirth lonnie is literally so OOC and nasty I don’t wanna hear any bs abt how its ‘better’ but I did like the idea of Steph and Lonnie being friends and I think it'd work still with Lonnie’s good characterisation

My unpopular opinion about this character: Timsteph is a bad ship its objectively bad and I hate it a lot also Steph kissing Tim knowing he was dating Arianna was shitty writing/a dick move on her part i just hate all of it its comp het the ship

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: OKAY I NEED TO READ MORE STEPH COMICS FIRST but I am perpetually haunted by my idea of steph in the future becoming huntress.... I Ponder It

my OTP: Stephcass lol

my cross over ship: Gwen Stacy and Steph could be fun :O

a headcanon fact: She doesn’t like condiments unless it’s say, syrup for waffles

Harper Row

How I feel about this character: I used to be like obseeeeeeessed with harper used to think abt her 24/7 but ive mellowed down a lot.... havent read her comics in like literally ages...... still love her a lot tho

All the people I ship romantically with this character: nobody 😔

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Steph and Cass being Harper’s friends was always cute to me also I like when I think both or just Steph was Harper’s roommate it was fun

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mostly nobody seems to fucking care about her 🙄 you guys cry for gay batkids 24/7 but you wont even acknowledge harper existed........ smh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: that she stuck around more : ( i liked how her brother cullen sorta became this like oracle esque figure so I like the idea of her being a vigilante in some place like bludhaven maybe w Cullen giving tech support

my OTP: n/a :/

my cross over ship: not really a ship but maybe Miles and Harper teaming up one time?

a headcanon fact: Would really like to own a pet snake

Dinah Lance

How I feel about this character: I love women.... I love this woman.......

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Ollie, Helena

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Babs :] best friends 4ever !

My unpopular opinion about this character: Dinahs done a lot of fucked up things and like i dont even mean like in a “its bad writing way” i mean just like consistently dinah is not perfect and she shouldnt be regarded as such and i dont like when people do

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Wish she stayed with the JSA longer :[ I really liked her with the JSA it was fun!!!!

my OTP: Dinahelena 💜🖤🤍💛

my cross over ship: n/a

a headcanon fact: She's really bad at cooking most dishes

Diana Prince

How I feel about this character: I LOVE HER a very interesting character with a lot of interesting lore

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Zatanna, Natasha Teranova

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Clark and Bruce ^_^ they are her close friends and teammates and I want absolutely nothing to go on between them. Ever.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Not abt diana specifically But damn yall when the fuck you guys gonna actually.... talk about diana.... like when are you going to make metaposts about her and hot takes and so on as much as you do for ppl like bruce

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: She and Natasha should have gotten married whilst in space together period it was homophobia to have Natasha just go back to russia and never show up ever again

my OTP: Wondermagics

my cross over ship: not a ship again but LET HELLBOY TEAM UP W DIANA

a headcanon fact: She's really good at pottery! Especially during the sculpting stage

#helena bertinelli #diana prince #selina kyle #harper row #dc #ask meme #dinu yells in the void #chek's posts #oh my god tysm i know we literally have never interacted before but i appreciate this so much mx flamebirds #im sorry for a lot of my lacklustre answers i am literally only good for obscure characters >_< #feel free to continue sending asks or a dm to talk or w/e tho!!!

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 8x01 Brain Dump

So that was....awesome! I’m in shock! Obviously there was a gaping chasm where our precious cupcake used to be, but that’s gonna be the new normal for this last run, so I’m gonna try to not dwell on that too much in these last few reviews. And apparently these aren’t getting any shorter, even without Felicity...

Oliver Jonas Queen: Paragon and bestest hero everrrr (suck it, Larry)

Our beautiful boy 😭😭😭 kicking the episode off with stunning recreations of the very beginnings of the show, first on Lian Yu, then returning to Moira was just *chef kiss*. 

That Oliver is now able to relive these moments, really feeling the feelings and speaking the words that he was previously too broken to, upon his real return from the island, and expressing them to both himself and to those people he can no longer see in his reality, is just heart-breaking and tear-inducing and beautiful and satisfying and all of the feelings. He worked his arse of to get here and to experience it and he fucking well deserves it. Ugh I just made myself cry haha. 

More under the cut...

Stephen’s acting was a beautiful thing to watch in this episode. Oliver’s scenes with all the returning guests were just so perfect; his emotions over seeing Tommy and Moira again 😭, then not-Felicity 😍💔 then Adrian 😂 were all perfect. The scene where he was trying to seek advice or validation from Moira over leaving his family for this mission (even though he couldn’t reveal why) was just heart-breaking. Then when he breaks down (along with us!) and tells Moira he’s sorry, it’s almost like he’s doubly apologising; to Moira for not better understanding her, now that he is a parent himself, and to Felicity, William and Mia, for having to leave them behind.

It was so sad seeing Oliver doubting himself throughout the episode. He tells Diggle that Earth 2 has so many more people alive without him having been there, and then when Moira astutely observes that he is a better man now than before he went on the Gambit, he replies he’s not so sure. How can he still not see this yet?? He’s clearly been away from Felicity for too long! By the end of the episode he seems to be making some headway, at least in realising that he doesn’t need to face this crisis alone, when he delivers an EPIC SPEECH to Tommy “because were only as good as the people in our lives. Every one of those losses brings with it a choice between darkness and light. Make the right choice.” YES MY BOY!!!  I’m totally here for this whole season of Oliver going to other Earths, realising how awesome he is, then imparting this wisdom on everyone by delivering rousing speeches!! The Monitor said it himself in his voice-over, referring to Oliver “the highest [form of heroes] belong to those known as the paragons and they are the only hope of all creation.” YAAAASSSSS!!!! SUCK BALLS LARRY AND LARA!!!

Felicity/Olicity

Just because she’s not there, doesn’t mean she’ll be forgotten! I’m honestly so pleased that the show isn’t going to pretend Felicity doesn’t exist just because Emily left. Her absence is palpable, so the mentions and nods to her character throughout the episode (and the rest of the season, it seems) are very much welcomed!

The fake-out Felicity scene was beautifully done! From Oliver’s initially excited face and “it’s supposed to be red” 😭😭, his “good for her” when he found out that E2 Felicity is a badass mogul, to the OLICITY LOVE FERN on not-Felicity’s desk!!! Perfection!! 

Source: eloquence-of-felicities

Ugh and the scene with Oliver staring lovingly at Felicity and Mia’s photo...HFDSKGHFKJGHDSFKS NOT OK!!! 😭😭😭😭

Source: olicitygifs

Diggle

The Diggle ‘reveal’ was nostalgic perfection:

My live reaction 😂😂

Can I just say that I loved that he’d spoken with Felicity about Oliver, and gone after him. OTA for life!! I’d hoped that that would be the case, but you never can tell with these writers in recent seasons 😬 Dig is a master at advice-giving, and getting Oliver to see the big picture. Oliver needs a friend in this endeavour, and neither Felicity nor Dig would have him doing it alone. Dig’s purpose throughout the whole episode was pretty much to tell Oliver that he’s not alone, his death is not necessarily unavoidable, that he NEEDS TO ACCEPT FRACKING HELP (”that’s the thing about being brothers; you never, ever have to ask”😭😭), and that the whole reason that E2 has gone to crap was because Oliver was not there to protect it! 

In John Thomas Diggle we stan.  

FTA

Our FTA babies were back, and in the lair!! AHKASFHDSDAKF!!!  I loved the power struggle, with the team trying to find the right dynamic, before finally deciding to just make the Olicity baby the leader (duh), or moreover, Mia demanding that things be done her way from now on (apples, falling, tree?). 

Source: oliverxfelicity

William’s little comedic moments just popped. 

Source: olicitygifs

And then his delivery of a Felicity-worthy pep-talk to Mia had me falling infinitesimally more in love with him. This is the spin-off team we need to see!!

We finally met JJ Diggle who appears to be irredeemably (not likely) evil, and very handsome to boot, leading the Deathstroke Crew (baby Sara would have NEVER 😒😒). I was hoping for some Old Man Diggle, but alas we were not so lucky this week.  Much as I actually LOVE the flash-forwards, I did feel like they were a little shoehorned in in this episode. There was so much to unpack in the present story, that I kind of just wanted that to continue? 

Special Guests

From Moira’s first words I was crying.

Susanna Thompson continues to be outstanding as Moira, I love her! E2 Moira married Malcolm Merlyn, meaning we got John Barrowman back 😍😍, in a non-evil role (YAAASSSS!). Although there was no mention of Robert, given that we know on this Earth he returned from Lian Yu, and was later unmasked as the Green Arrow?? Anyway, this new Queen-Merlyn union officially made Oliver and Tommy brothers 😭😭 Oh btw.....TOOOOOMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! AGSHAGFKJSAGFJKAG!!! Back, alive and kicking (literally) and gorgeous as ever. Ugh I just adore my Merlyn men 😍😍😍😍

Source: feilcityqueen

Tommy turning out to be the Dark Archer on this earth is all we had ever wanted to see!! Evil!Tommy is a thing of beautiful fanfiction dreams!! (I also lolled at the OTT, campy, cowering Malcolm, as Oliver realised it wasn’t him!) Not to mention this scene, that re-lit our Toliver flames in the most perfect way 🔥🔥

This moment was so good that I can just about forgive Oliver’s historically inaccurate non-shirtless state 😒😒 (strike 1)

In trying to track down the dwarf star shizzle at Queen-Merlyn Enterprises👀 , Oliver stumbles across the E2 GA who turns out to be ADRIAN CHASE!!  YAAASSSS!!!! It was great to have him back, in the growly S1 Oliver-esque fashion! E2 GA also enjoys the salmon ladder....Stephen really played us all when he told us that we’d see the salmon ladder in episode 1 😡😡 (strike 2 Steve, you’re on your last warning!) I loved Oliver’s little inside joke with himself when he said to Adrian “maybe I’m just 10 steps ahead of you” lolololol!!

Thea OD’d on Vertigo and passed away on E2, which was sad, but meaningful, as it spear-headed Tommy’s war on The Glades, much like Rebecca’s murder did for Malcolm on Earth 1. (Psst, it’s ok though, our Speedy’s back in a few weeks).

Superfluous Cast

Rene and Dinah remain disloyal rats on this Earth, and with no Oliver to mentor them, they turn out evil as well as incompetent and we got to see them taken into custody at the end of the episode...wah-wah-wahhh!! I would definitely be happy with this nice small amount of relevance/screen time for them moving forwards, please and thank you. Let’s let our boys shine for the last few outings!

Black Siren’s presence in the episode was thankfully small, and although she was saved in the end, presumably to go on to help Oliver and Dig (she kinda owes them now), I’m hoping that we continue with this minimal exposure, because, as much as I enjoyed her last season, with no Felicity to make her likeable, I’m not feeling her. I also laughed for a disproportionately long amount of time that her ‘iconic’ Pretty Bird moment that we all heard about beforehand came from Adrian, not her ‘Ollie’ 😂😂

That ending

Following on from the press previews and interviews leading up to the episode, there were comments along the lines of Oliver suffering a devastating loss, and that the Arrowverse would never be the same etc etc, regarding the end of the episode. Well...I have to say I just wasn’t as ‘shooketh’ or as moved by the ending as the previews implied I would be 😬 I mean of course the ending was awful; a whole Earth was erased, and Oliver having to see Moira/Tommy die at the end (especially after managing to redeem Tommy) must have been devastating for him in the moment, but the thing is, I’m not all that invested in Earth 2, so the magnitude of it didn’t really affect me that much. Maybe I’m just a cold-hearted bitch my heart has simply been irrevocably broken by 7x22. Anyway, I’m sure Oliver will be back and fighting fit again next week 😂

When MG, Beth and even Stephen had been throwing around the dreaded term ‘love letter to the fans’ I was more than scared about this season 😬 but the episode really did play out that way in my eyes, something I’m hoping that they are able to continue over the few remaining episodes. So yes, I lost my shit and (begrudgingly) loved this episode 😂😂 It was easier to deal with the lack of Felicity when they had thrown the (brand new, super high-spec) kitchen sink of guest stars at the episode. So it will be interesting to see how we fare over the next few episodes, where the guest stars won’t be such scene-stealers.

Thank you to the amazing gif-makers 💗💗💗 It’s so wonderful to see beautiful new scenes again! Any uncredited gifs are mine.

#Arrow 8x01 #Arrow #Oliver Queen #Olicity #John Diggle #Tommy Merlyn #Arrow Season 8 #Arrow spoilers #beccie's brain

[softest-cinnamon-roll]

Au prompt for reddie #2 please ❤️❤️

Prompt taken from this list that I created! 

2. Road Trip AU

Also written for day 7 of the @itfandomprompts - Domestic AU 

AO3

warning: mentions of abuse and child neglect. 

* * * * * 

“Alright everyone! Get in the car or we’ll leave you behind!” Richie called through his megaphone as two eight year olds rushed out the house, backpacks in tow. They were grinning from ear to ear as they came to a stop next to Richie before climbing into the car.

Ollie was always first, as he was the oldest and often claimed that he had priority over everything. Grace, the youngest by one and a half minutes, didn’t mind too much about her brothers insistence to be first, as she much preferred to lag behind and enjoy things at a slower pace.

Richie loved his kids no matter what though, and this was one way to show it. They had never been on a family vacation before, at least not out of the state of California, as the kids were too young to remember anything. Now they were older though, and were able to retain memories, so after a long conversation, a road trip across the country to New York was planned.

“Ollie did you remember your spare inhaler?” Eddie asked as he walked out of the house last, locking the door to their three bedroom semi-detached home behind him. At first, when Ollie was diagnosed with asthma, Eddie had been scared, after all he had been told his whole life that he had asthma when he, in fact, didn’t.

Richie leaned in the car to see if his son had caught Eddie’s question to find him rummaging in his backpack and pulling out the two spare inhalers. “Yes, papa!” He called back and Richie gave Eddie the thumbs up before closing the car door.

When Eddie reached him, he wrapped his arms around Richie’s neck and pecked him on the lips, laughing as the sounds of ‘ewww’ echoed from the back seat of their car. “We’re really doing this huh?” Eddie asked and Richie nodded his head.

“Come on, Eds. It’ll be fun. Where’s your sense of adventure?” Richie teased, flicking his nose and pulling back, making his way around to the drivers side. “Anyway, the kids are desperate to see their Grandpa Went and Grandma Maggie, as well as all their aunts and uncles.”

Eddie sighed, a smile still on his face as he checked over everything for the upteenth time before sliding into the passenger side. They had decided that they would take turns driving, six hours each until they reached their final destination. Which was Derry, Maine.

They hadn’t been back to their childhood hometown since they graduated High School. The day after graduation, Eddie had packed a bag and jumped into Richie’s old truck and they were out of there, heading straight for California. On their way, they stopped at Vegas and in a very cliche manner, had gotten married in a gunshot wedding.

Now twelve years later they were still going strong, still as much in love with each other and with two eight year old twins that they adored with everything they had. Their life was pretty perfect.

Of course, Maggie and Went flew out to visit their family every year, but flight prices were increasing and Richie’s parents were getting older. Therefore this year the two of them decided that they would take the plunge and visit them in Derry, as well as stopping by to visit Stan and Mike, Ben and Bev and Bill and Audra in New York on their way home.

It was a whole month planned vacation, as they wanted to take their time on the way, to stop by at some landmarks and spend some quality family time with their children. Of course they were sure Maggie and Went had a whole itinerary planned for them when they arrived in Derry but it was rare that they got to do things just the four of them.

“Daddy?” Grace asked about twenty minutes into the car ride and Richie looked into his rear-view mirror at his daughter, who was colouring in her Disney Princess book Uncle Bill had bought her for her birthday. It was her most prized possession and she couldn’t wait to show him all the pictures she had completed.

“Yes, princess?” Richie asked, smiling at her as she sat her pencil down. He glanced over to Ollie, who was tapping away on his Nintendo Switch, happily quiet.

Grace bit her lip and looked at both her parents. Her silence also made Eddie turn around to see if she was okay, giving her his warmest smile. “What is it, Gracie?” Eddie asked.

“You know how we’re going to see Grandpa Went and Grandma Maggie?” She asked and both Eddie and Richie nodded. “Well…those are Daddy’s parents and I was talking to Lizzie at school and she said she had two sets of grandparents. Her mommy’s and her daddy’s and I was wondering if we were going to meet papa’s parents too?”

This made Eddie freeze up in his seat and Richie tensed, gripping firmer on the steering wheel. Eddie hadn’t spoken to his mother since the night before he left Derry, when he wished her goodnight. He had gone total radio silent, cutting her out of his life completely. She had tried to initiate contact many times, through letters and even through Maggie and Went, but Eddie had refused to give in.

It wasn’t as though the thought hadn’t crossed his mind now that they were heading back to Derry. It was a small town after all and news travels fast. It probably wouldn’t take long for Sonia to find out about Eddie’s return to Derry from someone at her Bingo group. However, Eddie didn’t want his babies to be exposed to her toxic ways and had decided that he would not be introducing her to them.

“Well, Gracie…” Eddie started, swallowing thickly. “My mommy…she’s not very well.” He closed his eyes and tried to find the right words to explain the situation. “She wasn’t very kind to papa when I was your age and because of that, I don’t think it would be a very good idea to meet her. Do you understand?”

By this point, Ollie was now listening in and staring at Eddie with wide eyes. “Was your mommy like Alfie’s mommy?” He asked and Eddie winced. Alfie was one of Ollie’s closest friends, and less than four months ago his mother was arrested for child abuse and he was put into sole custody of his father.

“Something like that buddy,” Richie piped up, smiling in the mirror at the kids. “It’s complicated and papa and I will tell you all the details when you are old enough to understand. For now though, just focus on this amazing holiday we’re going on, and think of all the late birthday presents Grandpa Went and Grandma Mags have waiting for you.”

At the mention of presents, both Ollie and Grace jumped into conversation with each other, happily forgetting all about the intense conversation that had just taken place, just like children do. Eddie let out an exhale and Richie reached over, taking his hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles, all whilst focusing on the road ahead.

“You okay, love?” He asked and Eddie nodded his head, squeezing Richie’s hand back.

Eddie really was fine. He had his husband beside him, his babies in the car behind him and his family waiting for him in Maine. His real family. He didn’t need his mother, or anyone else to make him happy. He had his family.

“Honestly, Rich?” Eddie smiled. “I’ve never been better.”

* * * * *

@richietoaster @tozier-boy @eds-kas @eds-trashmouth @strange-reddie-loser @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tinyarmedtrex @liliemm @inthebreadbinwrites @lo-v-ers @studpuffin @aizeninlefox @reddie-for-anything @richietoizer @girasol-eddie @bi-bi-richie @honeybeehanlon @hawkinsbabe @mrs-vh

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #writing tag

[throwmyheartawayagain]

I Wan’na Be Like You

This is my entry for @this-kitten-is-smitten​ ‘s 200 Drabble Challenge. Clearly, I don’t know the meaning of “drabble” since this exceed 2k words. Oh well. I hope you like this Kate! 

Any and all mistakes are mine. My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission- that’s just fucking rude. Thanks!

Title: I Wan’na Be Like You

Characters: MCU Sebastian Stan, Cora(OFC), Oliver/Ollie (OMC)

Pairing: MCU Sebastian Stan/Cora

Prompt: I Wan’na Be Like You from Disney's The Jungle Book 

Warnings: Fluff, swearing

Word Count: 2,077

“Ghostbusters, whadya want?”

“Are you always going to answer your phone like that?”

“Yes, I am, Mr. Stan,” she laughed. “Especially when you are calling.”

“What am I going to do with you, lubirea mea?” Sebastian chuckled.

“Dunno, you’re the one that married me.”

“I see, well, I only asked you to marry me. You agreed to it.”

Cora laughed. “Is that how it is?”

“That’s how it is.” There was a beat of silence until Sebastian whispered, “Oh, fuck. Not again.”

“What’s going on?” Cora asked. She knew Sebastian was back in New York City, having arrived earlier that morning, but he had a meeting with his manager, and an interview for a magazine after that.

“Hold on.”

She could hear some excited chatter from Sebastian’s end of the call. “Sweetheart?”

“Look, I’m not Bucky Barnes or the Winter Soldier, so there’s no need to call the police.”

“See, I told you he doesn’t have a real metal arm. It’s all a marketing ploy for the Avengers!” someone exclaimed.

Cora giggled at her husband’s current misfortune. Ever since 2014 when the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarriers crashed into the Potomac River and Bucky Barnes escaped the clutches of H.Y.D.R.A., Sebastian has been mistaken for the former Winter Soldier on a weekly basis. The first couple of times it happened, the police were called and Sebastian was taken to Avengers Tower in Manhattan. Each time after the first, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson greeted Sebastian with huge smiles and big laughs as soon as he was brought in through the lobby doors. 

After the nth time in one week, Steve finally had Stark create a special identification card for Sebastian that verified he was actually Sebastian Stan, the actor, and not James Buchanan Barnes. 

Four years later, he was still being mistaken as Bucky Barnes. During that time, Sebastian and Cora struck up an odd friendship with Steve, Sam and eventually the real Bucky Barnes, even inviting all three to their wedding.

“Sorry about that, baby,” Sebastian apologized, then grumbled, “that is never going to stop.”

“It’s alright. How’d the interview go this morning?” Cora asked.

“Interview went well, I was asked about you, Ollie, and Nacho.”

Cora’s giggle was music to Sebastian’s ears. “Nacho, is that really what you’re calling our unborn child?” she continued to giggle.

“Well, that’s better than ‘It;’ or ‘The Unborn,’” he reasoned. “Besides, what else would you call the baby?”

“Devil Spawn.”

“Cora, no.”

“Cora, yes! If you had this thing growing inside you and using your internal organs as their very own personal punching and kicking bags, then you would call them ‘Devil Spawn,’ too.”

“I guess you got me there,” he laughed. “Have you heard from my mom about Ollie?”

“Nothing since the picture she sent of him by the board with the arm span of the primates. I’m sure they’re having lunch at the zoo right now.” 

Sebastian sighed, “I know I shouldn’t be worried and it’s not like she’s going to lose him anywhere, but sometimes I can’t help thinking that some crazy person would do something to Ollie or my mom. There’s even a chance someone obsessed with Barnes could do something, too. You three, soon to be four, are my entire world.”

“Nothing has happened so far to us, sweetheart,” Cora started. “I know how much you worry and how much you do to keep us safe.”

“I love you, too.” 

“Oh, shit,” she moaned, then mumbled, “Devil Spawn.”

“Are you okay, baby?” Sebastian asked full of worry.

After a few grunts and groans, Cora stood up. “Yeah, just got a big kick to the bladder and now I have to pee. Any idea if you’ll be home tonight?”

“Bietul meu bebeluș. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Seb, I swear to god if you ask me that again, I will steal Bucky’s arm and shove it so far up your ass.”

A hearty laugh was heard, and followed by, “I don’t think Bucky would let you have his arm, even as fond of you he is,” Sebastian laughed. “I guess I should let you go so you can pee. I’m hoping to be back home early this evening.”

“Okay, I will see you then. I love you,” Cora said.

“I’ll send a text when I’m on my way home. I love you too,” he said before disconnecting the call.

Just as Cora was finishing in the bathroom, Georgetta had let Ollie and herself into the apartment. “Hello? Anyone home?”

“Mama!” Ollie called out.

“Be right there!” Cora answered while drying her hands.

A couple of hours later, Cora was curled up on the couch reading a book when she heard the tell tale pitter patter of Ollie’s feet coming down the hallway after his nap. “Mama?”

“Hey, Bubby, did you have a good nap?” she asked her three-year-old while placing a bookmark in her book before closing it to set on the side table.

“Yeah,” Ollie responded as he climbed on the couch and curled into her side.

“Did you have fun at the zoo with Grandma?”

Ollie nodded his head before his eyes lit up and he excitedly talked about seeing the primates. “Mama! King Louie was there!”

“Oh yeah? Who else did you see?”

“Bears, no Baloo. I saw Simba, and Khan, and owls, and penwins, and famingos,” Ollie beamed at her.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to see Baloo, I’m sure he’s still in the jungle with Bagheera and Colonel Hathi,” Cora smiled as she brushed Ollie’s unruly hair out of his eyes. “Do you know what tonight is?”

Ollie shook his little head and said, “No.”

“Daddy comes home!” Cora leaned over and scooped her little boy into her arms and tickled his sides as he squealed and giggled in delight. Of all the sounds that Ollie made, she wished she could bottle his laugh to keep forever.

“Yay! Daddy!”

After Cora stopped tickling Ollie, she held him close with her arms under him to support his bum that was perched against her pregnant belly. He rested his head on her clavicle and pressed his face into her skin. “I miss daddy,” Ollie said as he wrapped his little arms around Cora as best as he could.

“I know, Bubby, I miss him too. But you know what? You have been so good for me while he’s gone and I’m so proud of you! I know daddy’s proud of you too.” She pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. “He’s coming home and you’ll be able to tell him about your day when you see him. You can tell him what you and Grandma saw at the zoo.”

“Okay,” he mumbled into her skin.

“How about we get a snack and you can pick out a movie to watch until dinner?”

Ollie nodded his head, rolled off of Cora, fell off the couch onto the floor and jumped up like nothing was wrong. Instead he was giggling. “You are my silly little monkey.” Cora shook her head as she scooted forward to the edge of the couch cushion to get up.

“Not a monkey, mama, I’m a rang-o-tang, like King Louie!” he huffed.

“Oh, I am so sorry, your highness, King Louie!” Cora bowed with a laugh. “What kind of snack would the VIP of the Jungle like?”

“Cheese and crackers!”

After eating their snack, Cora and Ollie were back on the couch watching Ollie’s favorite movie. Baloo and Mowgli just finished singing about the Bare Necessities and were floating down the river. Cora’s phone dinged, alerting her of a text and when she looked who it was, she smiled and responded right away.

Once the monkeys appeared and kidnapped Mowgli, Ollie scooted away from Cora as he got wiggly, knowing what was coming up.

“Hey, Mowgli, how about you flickin’ that ol’ mean fly off your papa bear’s nose?” Baloo said in the movie. The monkey sitting on the sloth bear’s tummy whacks him on the nose with a stick. “OUCH!”

Ollie burst out in the brightest giggles and Cora loved every minute of it. While Mowgli was being carried away by the monkeys, then Baloo talking to Bagheera, Cora heard the door open to the apartment and shut quietly. 

Sebastian was home.

Sebastian was finally home after weeks away filming, and instead of kissing his wife hello first, he set his stuff down and crawled from the kitchen to hide behind the sofa. Cora looked over and saw him creeping into the family room and raised an eyebrow at her ridiculous husband. He smiled wide as he put his finger up to his lips telling her to be quiet. She shook her head as she looked over at Ollie.

The little boy was enthralled in the movie, even after watching it about a bazillion times. Sebastian and Cora damn near have that movie memorized line for line, but they would always sit down and watch it if that’s what Ollie wanted. That little turkey had his parents wrapped around his finger, whether he knew it or not. 

In the movie, Louie had just finished squeezing two bananas out of their peels and right into Mowgli’s mouth, and was making a deal with the man cub. “Well, then,” Louie started before he jumped off his throne and scrambled to Mowgli’s left. “I’ll lay it on the line for you. A-baba-beep-boop Boop-ee-doop.”

As Louie slapped the floor of the ancient ruins, Sebastian placed his hands on the back of the couch while getting himself ready. Jumping up from his position behind the couch, Sebastian sang along with Louie in the movie.

“Now I’m the king of the swingers, oh, the jungle VIP, I’ve reached the top and had to stop, and that’s what’s botherin’ me!”

As soon as Sebastian made himself known, Ollie turned around and laughed at his dad. “Daddy!” he squealed.

Sebastian kept singing with a huge smile on his handsome face. He was dancing his way around the couch to be in front of his little family. “I wanna be a man, Man Cub, and stroll right into town, and be just like the other men, I’m tired of monkeyin’ around.”

He held his hand out to Ollie, who launched himself right into his dad’s arms. Sebastian danced around with Ollie, spinning around and dipping his giggling son while Louie started the next part. Soon Sebastian joined in when there were words again in the song.

“I wanna be like you-hoo-hoo, I wanna walk like you, talk like you too-oo-o! You’ll see it’s true, shoo-be-dee-doo, an ape like me-e-e, can learn to be human too-oo-oo!”

Sebastian set Ollie down on the floor as Cora stood up from the couch. All three pranced around the couch making trumpet noises until the monkey started whistling in the movie. Sebastian scooped Ollie, who has not stopped squealing and giggling from all the excitement since Sebastian popped up from behind the couch, up in his arms and pulled Cora close so all three were dancing together as the music played on.

Now it was Cora’s turn to quote lines from the movie as it played on. “Gee, Cousin Louie, you’re doin’ real good.”

“Now here’s your part of the deal, cuz,” Sebastian quoted along. “Lay the secret on me of man’s red fire.”

“But I don’t know how to make fire,” Cora said with Mowgli.

Sebastian winked as he held onto Ollie as he stepped away from his wife. “Now, don’t try to kid me, Man Cub, I made a deal with you. What I desire is man’s red fire to make my dream come true.” Sebastian had a good hold on Ollie as he swung him around and held him upside down, as Louie was doing to Mowgli in the movie and Ollie lost it. The little boy was laughing so hard, it was that true deep from the belly laugh.

Righting his son, Sebastian set him on the couch and continued to sing with Louie. “Now gimme the secret, Man Cub, come on, clue me what to do. Give me the power of man’s red flower, so I can be like you.”

Sebastian sat on the couch and Ollie scrambled into his father’s lap facing him.

“Daddy,” the little boy said as he grabbed Sebastian’s face with his little pudgy hands. “Daddy, someday I wanna be just like you.”

#this-kitten-is-smitten-challenge #mcu sebastian stan #mcu seb stan fanfiction #steve rogers #sam wilson #fanfiction #the jungle book #baloo #mowgli #bagheera #king louie #sebastian stan

[themcuhasruinedme]

Vintage Film Fest (Pt. 3)

[Summary]: You and Steve have been dating for a while and you surprise him with a pair of tickets to a vintage film festival as an anniversary date

[Pairing]: Steve x reader

[Word Count]: 2,806

Tagging: @theashhole @dividedwecantfall @peterman-parker @avengerofyourheart @nataliarxmanxva @metalarmproblems @mcuimxgine @accio-rogers @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @that-sokovian-bastard @hellomissmabel @abovethesmokestacks @peculiar-persephone @bellameys @beccaanne814 @hymnofthevalkyrie @buckys-shield @callamint @redgillan @lancefvcker @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @iwillbeinmynest @theassetseyeliner @lilasiannerd @aubzylynn @sgtbxckybxrnes @iamwarrenspeace @marvelrevival @httpmcrvel @avengersnthings @feelmyroarrrr @girl-next-door-writes @honey-bee-holly @patzammit

A/N: Harold Lloyd gif was made by yours truly! So, since Tumblr links no longer work you can find the other parts of this short series in my masterlist. And again, I encourage you guys to watch the movies and shorts I mention in this as they are all wonderful and amazing (heads up though: some of them are silent!) and all can be found on YouTube.

Day three seemed to go by kinda slow and you kept watching the clock throughout the day, waiting for the time to hit when Steve and you were to drive over to the theater.

You had went out shopping a little earlier that day, going to your favorite vintage clothing shop - a place that had everything from 1920′s to 1950′s inspired clothes and dresses and found a really cute day dress that looked like it could be from the 1930′s.

Steve liked when you wore clothes like that. He would say that they look much better on you than any “modern day” style. But then again, he said anything looked good on you. You also believed that he liked it mostly because it brought him back to that period in time. And you were happy to have anything spark those memories, cuz it meant that you were in for a walk down memory lane with him and it was the best feeling both of you could have.

When it was finally time to go to the theater, Steve couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Wow, [Y/N]. You look gorgeous,” he said as he took you by the hand and turned you around to look over the dress.

“Thank you. I found it at that vintage clothes shop, the one I told you about.”

“Oh, you mean the one that you always go to?” he asked as he locked the front door behind you and escorted you to the car.

You nodded. “That’s the one. I’ll have to take you there some time. They have clothes for men there as well.”

Opening the door and gently letting you sit down in the passenger seat, Steve placed a kiss on the top of your hand. “We’ll make that our next date,” he said giving you a wink.

When you got to the theater, Steve helped you out of the car and held your hand as the two of you walked in and stood in line to get the popcorn and drinks. And when you got all your snacks for the movies, the two of you walked in to a quarter-filled theater.

“Not as bad as last night, huh?”

“Hush up,” he said and playfully nudged your arm.

Finding seats around the same area as the two previous nights, you both settled down and waited for he movie night to begin. As the night before, there was plenty of time to wait before the movies and shorts actually started which again made you need to pull out your phone and play some games on. This time you brought your earbuds with to also watch some videos on YouTube, mostly other shorts of Charlie, Buster and Harold that weren’t being played on the big screen.

When you felt Steve tap your arm then point to his ear, you removed your earbuds to hear that there was going to be a five minute delay which then you heard moans and groans from all parts of the theater, mostly from the kids. But that five minutes went by quickly.

When the lights went dark and the first film started up, you had a smile appear on your face as it was one of Laurel and Hardy’s famous silent shorts called Liberty.

The theater made have started out quiet but laughter rang out seeing Stan and Ollie in prisoner outfits being chased by a cop, getting in a get-away car and trying to change into normal clothes. Even more laughter happened when a cop started chasing the car which sent Stan and Ollie into panic mode and made them quickly get out of the car, only to find out they had each other’s pants on.

The laughter was practically non stop through out the rest of the short as Stan and Ollie keep trying to find places to change pants but had no luck and had even worse luck while they were behind a seafood restaurant with Stan having a crab fall into his pants and begin to have problems with the crab nipping his butt.

A lot of gasps and ooo’s came from the kids all over the theater as they watched Stan and Ollie somehow get stuck at the top of an unfinished building and almost fall off of it several times, due to the crab still being stuck in the pants which were now properly on Ollie.

And squeaks of joy scattered throughout the place when Stan and Ollie were finally able to safely get back down on the ground.

When the lights came on for the first break to start, Steve looked over at you and smiled. You smiled back and placed your head on his shoulder, the two of you waiting quietly for the next one to start. And quickly start it did.

Your smile got even bigger seeing that it was one of your favorite Buster talking shorts called The Timid Young Man. You remembered that when you had started really getting into watching everything Buster had did, you were very hesitant with watching his talking stuff because you weren’t entirely sure if you were going to like the way he sounded. But when you heard his beautiful low, Midwestern, gruff, flat baritone voice, all your worries went out the door because hearing it made you melt into a puddle.

The audience sat in silence and watched as a girl ran out of her wedding ceremony, saying how she didn’t want to marry the man then watched the scene change as another girl gets a key to Milton’s, Buster’s character, room and wakes him up to tell him that their wedding was that day.

“Last night you said you couldn’t live without me,” the woman told him.

“Oh, I must’ve been drunk,” he replied, which made the audience burst out laughing.

The audience then watched as his butler told him to leave and go up to the mountains so he wouldn’t have to marry her. It then turned into him picking up the runaway bride on his drive out, getting into a heated standoff with another driver and finally getting to camp where the woman set everything up while Milton went fishing, which in turn had the whole theater laughing over.

Plenty of laughter came and went throughout the short, especially when the driver they had met earlier wandered on to their camp and Milton tried to get rid of him by doing several different things including pouring gasoline into the man’s salad. And when the short ended and the lights came on, you could see smiles on so many faces in the theater.

Another break happened and as you and Steve sat quietly waiting for the next one to start, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Looking behind you, you saw the couple you and Steve talked to the night before. Your excitement caught Steve’s attention and he turned around also getting excited to see them. The four of you talked for a bit during the break and got quiet when the lights dimmed down.

The title card of one of Charlie’s famous silent short’s called A Dog’s Life flashed across the screen and you were in a moment of quietude. It may not have been one of his laughter filled comedies but it did have some laughs here and there.

As soon as the dog appeared on the screen, you heard so many awww’s from every corner of the theater and most of it was from the kids. But you couldn’t help but smile too as the screen stayed on the for for a bit.

But laughter started when The Tramp got busted by a cop for trying to steal a hot dog and when the cop tried to get him, The Tramp evaded him by rolling out from under the fence, untying the cop’s shoes and kicking him when the cop got stuck under the fence.

It became quiet while the audience watched The Tramp wander around looking for a job and then finding that there was one but several others wanted it as well, the laughter broke out again seeing the poor Tramp get out smarted by the others.

But when the scene came of The Tramp saving the little dog from a bunch of other dogs, all the kids in the audience whooped and cheered which then turned to more aww’s when The Tramp took care of the little dog by giving it some milk that was left over in a bottle on someone’s doorstep to drink.

Laughs came when The Tramp came across a street food vendor who had a plate of sliced bread on the counter and he started stuffing them in his mouth, only stopping when the owner turned around to suspect The Tramp of something. And laughs came again when The Tramp snuck the dog into a pub by hiding it in his oversized pants.

You nestled your head on Steve’s chest as you watched The Tramp meet a girl in the pub, quickly fall for her but then get tossed out because he had no money to pay for his tab. Steve looked down at you and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head which made you smile and sigh contently.

Watching The Tramp go back to his outdoor sleeping spot with the dog, who he named Scraps, was the most adorable thing you could ever see.

But soon the movie was over with laughs happening throughout the rest of the short and it was time for a longer break.

You and Steve took turns to go to the restroom and Steve got a couple boxes of candy from the concession stand as well. Coming back, he handed you a box of Reese’s Pieces, your absolute favorite. Eyeing it like a vulture, you snatched it out of his hand and as you started to open it, all he could do was laugh.

“What’s so funny?” you asked, shoveling a handful in your mouth.

“You,” he said. “It’s almost like you’ve never had candy in your life before.” “Well, excuse me if you bring over my favorite kind. I can’t help how my mind tells my body to react upon seeing my favorite candy.”

Steve just chuckled and shook his head. Another several minutes and the lights dimmed down once again for the next movie to start.

A talking Harold Lloyd movie called Feet First started and this was another one of your favorites from Harold. After all, how could you not love how hard he tries to be the best shoe salesman possible along with his sweet and boyish voice.

The audience watched as he helped a girl who got in a bad scrap with a man after her car hit his from behind then seeing Harold and the girl both instantly fall for each other.

Steve joked that that’s not how things worked in real life which made you jab your finger in his side.

“Ow,” he whispered while flinching a bit.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby,” you whispered back and linked your arms around Steve’s arm, adjusting the way you were sitting in your seat.

Laughter came and went as the audience watched Harold meet the girl again and believe her to be the boss’s daughter, which made him want to impress her even more. And then watching as he accidentally gets stuck on a ship eventually meeting the girl again along with his boss and his wife.

Gasps from the kids throughout the theater happened when Harold escaped from the ships crew by hiding in a mailbag which then got picked up and brought ashore to New York but fell off a delivery cart onto a window cleaner's cradle, which was then hoisted upwards.

More gasps and ooo’s followed as the audience watched the bag get caught on the side of the building as Harold struggled to get out of it. But laughter soon followed as everyone watched him get out of the bag after landing on the cradle and going into panic mode, clinging tightly to it and yelling for help while the two window washers at the top of the building hoisting it up were totally oblivious to then fact that Harold was on it.

Soon it was a mix of gasps and laughter as you all watched Harold try to get into the building while also trying to not fall off, along with the cradle going up and down only causing problems for him.

When the happy ending came and the movie finished, the lights came on and the last break of the night started. You decided to pull out your phone and scroll  through your social media for a bit while Steve did the same, which made the two of you show each other several different posts which made you both laugh until the final movie started.

It was another talking Buster movie, which this one also happened to be one of your top three favorites called Speak Easily. Even though most fans considered his talking movies to not be good at all, mostly due to how MGM treated him, making a character for him that acted like a total buffoon, there were still a few decent ones and this was one of them.

The audience watched as the timid and shy Professor Post, Buster’s character, was told by his assistant to get out and see the world because the Professor was such a lonely person. He told his assistant that even though he wanted to, he couldn’t afford to spend his money to indulge on “a whim”.

Giggles from all the kids throughout the theater came when the assistant gave the Professor a letter saying that he inherited $750,000 which made the Professor excited and that he decided he was going to go out and “buy companionship”. Laughter happened while you all watched the Professor pack his trunk with anything he grabbed, including his own bed.

Quietness came while the screen showed the Professor board the train, meet the manager of a dancing troupe that was on the same train and immediately fall head over heels for one of the dancers named Pansy. Aww’s filled the theater while watching the Professor take care of a baby from someone that was part of the troupe but laughter rang out when the Professor noticed his trunk wasn’t on the train and stopped it, causing an argument with the luggage man.

Gasps came from the kids as you all found out that the letter the Professor got was actually written by his assistant only to help get him out and see the world because the assistant couldn’t stand seeing the Professor be so lonely from day to day.

Laughter came and went throughout the rest of the movie as the audience watched the Professor miss his train, meet back up with the dancing troupe at the opera house and quietness fell upon the theater when the sheriff came to take the troupes things but then the Professor paid the man which then made the manager decide to let the Professor take over the show and manage it to repay him for his kindness.

More laughter came with seeing the Professor trying to direct the show so they could get it on Broadway, get somewhat flustered and tongue-tied with a spoiled actress who joined the production, incorporating new dance moves into the show, the actress “buttering up” the Professor and then seeing the two of them get drunk at her apartment. 

Even more laughter happened when both of them fell asleep in her apartment and the Professor not realizing what happened until he woke up the next morning and tried to sneak out quietly but didn’t even manage to make it out of the bedroom without waking her.

As more laughs came and went through the last bit of the movie with the show being put on, the manager finding out the Professor didn’t have all that money, the show crew trying to keep the Professor away from the stage and Buster causing chaos that only he would know how to do, it was sure a delight to end the night with.

When the screen went black and the lights came on to say that night number three was over, you and Steve waited until almost everyone was gone to walk back to the car. Linking your arm to Steve’s as you slowly walked through the parking lot, you placed your head on his shoulder.

“So, can I ask you yet if you’ve been having fun with this?”

You looked up at him and giggled. “And I’ll say again, do you really have to ask? This has been one of the greatest dates we’ve done.”

He smiled at you and kissed the top of your head. “You’re exactly right.”

#avengers imagine #marvel imagine #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader

[stormbornspawn]

Winterfell - Season 8, Episode 1 Review

My thoughts on every (I think every? let me know if I missed any) scene from the Season 8 premiere episode.

Arrival - there was nothing wrong with this scene at all. Everything about it was expected. The northerners being apprehensive is exactly what I anticipated. Give it up for Jon and Dany looking regal AF in this scene. Good lord. Arya watching this whole scene play out was really great as a call back to season 1. Love the proud mama look from Dany as her babies fly overhead and scare the living shit out of everyone below. And did you notice her hair is in the shape of a heart? Tyrion and Varys banter is always welcomed and encouraged.

Winterfell courtyard - frosty is the only word that really feels right here. Dany’s trying to make a good impression and doesn’t get pressed when nobody kneels. Jon bent the knee - they should be on their knees, but no worries. She’s gonna overlook that cuz it’s her boo-thang’s family. All in good time. Bran coming up with the - we have no time for this - and dropping the Viserion bomb was way too rushed. This is the first issue I have with this episode. Dany’s dragons are often referred to as her children, yet hearing that one of them has been enslaved is completely glossed over and cut to next scene. This should have been a much bigger deal. Not just for Dany, but for everyone. Jon should have needed to take her somewhere to console her...you know, somewhere private...

The Great Hall - how many times does JOn have to remind these people that they are going to die without Dany’s help? Do they not believe him? I realize there are only a few people that have actually seen the army of the dead, but come on. I don’t expect anyone to be swearing fealty to Dany at this point, but a modicum of appreciation would be nice. She abandoned her campaign for this war and lost a dragon. Why did nobody bring this up? Lyanna Mormont needs to sit down - she almost called Jon a bastard and I was about to come up out of my chair. Sansa whinging about food - like, you knew they were coming and you are just now concerned about this? Dany holding her composure through that took some serious control. Her little clap back was good - whatever they want - that’s right, because they’re goddam dragons. I did like that Jon and Dany seemed to inch closer and closer to each other throughout the scene and the little look while Tyrion was talking was cute. Tyrion was well-intentioned, but they still won’t listen.

Sansa and Tyrion - I was waiting for this reunion and it did not disappoint. I would have liked to see Tyrion quell some of Sansa’s concerns as it relates to Dany. I was a tad concerned about the side eye that Bran was giving Tyrion at the end. Bran knows some things, so I’m curious what goods he has on Tyrion.

Jon & Arya - LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I was prepared to be underwhelmed here, but her jumping into Jon’s arms was everything I needed. The talk about family and Sansa being the smartest person Arya knows - yeah, didn’t see Arya siding with Sansa over Jon, but I get it. How is that dynamic of supporting family going to play out when it’s public knowledge that Jon is not their brother, but a cousin? I was also a little miffed that nobody brought up Littlefinger and that Dany and Arya were not formally introduced.

Euron/Yara/Cersei/Theon/GC - This whole segment of the show was just okay for me. I didn’t care for the dialogue. I love Pilou as an actor, but some of his lines were just cringe - I’m gonna put a prince in your belly. Like, wtf? I kind of felt a little bad for Cersei (well, not really) that she had to sleep with him and Lena brought the power in the after math of that scene. She’s brilliant and it will be the travesty of the year if she doesn’t finally get her Emmy. Theon finally rescuing Yara and making the decision to go and fight for the Starks - let’s get that ball rolling...even though I really enjoy Yara, I don’t think we will see her until way later in the season. The GC - and no elephants - wtf? Well, whatever...I would have rather had Ghost - and that’s the second big thing wrong with this episode. There was plenty of time.

Bronn - why? Completely unnecessary to have all the tits and ass in this episode. I know it’s classic GOT, but we are all over that element, I think, and it could have easily been him in a brothel and Qyburn comes to see him without all that sexposition. I don’t like the crossbow thing especially with all the talk about Dany getting hit with an arrow or a well-placed bolt.

Davos/Tyrion/Varys - can we give it up for Davos finally speaking the truth - Dany is a just woman and Jon is an honorable man - yes, please. Get married, make babies, and save the realm. Why Varys and Tyrion weren’t all over that - I don’t know. Tyrion wasn’t completely opposed to it, but Varys seemed rather extra cynical just then.

Jon & Dany - a lot to break down in this scene. Dany knows Sansa hates her and is really concerned that if she can’t even get her to respect her than the north is not going to fall in line either - that’s my interpretation of the scene. Jon saying that Sansa didn’t like them when they were growing up either was cute. Now, why in the hell are my baby dragons not eating? They hate the north? Or maybe, just maybe, they can sense that their momma isnt quite welcome there and they are feeling that emotion. I am shook that Jon got to ride the dragon (well, another one ;)) before learning about his Targ history. I saw this scene as Dany really letting him know, babe, I love you and I am willing to let you babysit my kids if needed. That 1000 years comment is coming back around again for sure. That waterfall and smooching scene was not for me - I ship them and know they are in love - that scene was for anyone that didn’t really pay attention in season 7 or read any interviews from anyone ever to just solidify that they are truly in love. Okay - it was for me too - I’m on my 3,487th rewatch. My prediction for why the dragons are acting funny - they know momma is carrying that man’s baby and they are overprotective. @me

Jon & Sansa - Sansa, why? All these two do is argue and it’s starting to piss me off. She says she trusts Jon and has faith in him, but then doesn’t trust Jon and has no faith in his decisions. They needed Dany and her armies and dragons and he got her to come there. This is why he left in the first place. She does have a valid question though - did you bend the knee for the north or because you love her? It’s a legit question, JON!! Answer. It’s both. That is the big theme of this season - love versus duty - and Jon can do both and will need to balance them both.

Arya/Gendry/Hound - the Hound and Arya was hysterical and I love the banter between Arya and Gendry. It’s like they picked up right where they left off. Can’t wait to see where this goes.

Dany/Sam/Jorah - This is tough for me. I am a Dany stan through and through, but I did not agree with her decision to burn the Tarly’s. At least not both of them. I do find it hypocritical when people chastise her for something that men have done for ages and hold her to a different standard though. I didn’t care for what she did, but I understand it. Sam’s reaction was expected and I do feel very sorry for him. I wish Dany had exhibited a little bit of remorse. Even if she wasn’t sorry, knowing he is JOn’s best friend, should have made her say - I’m so sorry. Just something.

The Reveal - I hated everything about this. Sam didn’t tell Jon as a friend. He told him in a fit of rage to try and turn Jon against Dany. I’m not okay with this. Jon wasn’t having it either. Jon executed Janos Slynt for much less. And Sam is the same person who told Jon they needed Roose BOlton’s help after the Red Wedding and told Olly to forget about his family being slaughtered by the Wildings. It’s a bit different when it’s your own family, but double standards much? Jon wasn’t having it, so I’m good with that - he’s still gonna have some words with his queen later. The reveal pissed me off because I think Sam should have come at it from a place of tenderness and instead it was bitterness about Dany and this news is gonna fuck her up. He doesn’t know they are together and he doesn’t really know her. I was pissed AF with the line - you gave up your crown for your people - would she do the same? Okay - when is someone going to bring up the fact that Jon bent the knee AFTER she agreed to fight for the north? And, please - she abandoned her fight for King’s Landing to turn her armies north and help fight. So, yeah, she would. This was the scene I was most disappointed with. John and Kit did a great job, but the writing was atrocious. All I can see is that they are setting this episode up to carry all the angst forward until the Night King is knocking on their door and then - just as Jon said - it won’t matter.

Umber - what the actual fuck? But I’m glad to see Tormund, Beric, and Edd.

Jaime/Bran - he’s waiting for an old friend!! GAAAHHHH!! I can’t wait to see the shit storm that his presence is going to bring in episode 2. That preview got my dragon momma heated.

Overall, I’d give the episode a 7/10. It was definitely not the strongest episode in the series and I blame that on choppy transitions and weird almost campy dialogue. Episode two better bring a little more grounding to the show, because I was not overly impressed with those 54 minutes. There were some great things that happened - dragon date, arrival, reunions, and how much was my girl Dany smiling this episode?? I’ve never seen her smile this much in seven seasons. Guess a good dicking down and falling in love will do that to you. The dialogue and lack of timeline really killed it for me though. As well as the glossing over of what I thought were really important storylines.

Let me know if you want to discuss.

#season 8 spoilers #game of thrones #jon x dany #daenerys targaryen #jon x daenerys #jon snow #episode 1

[sweetshadcw]

i’m  angry  as  HECK  because  my  laptop  decided  to  shutdown  halfway  through  me  writing  this  so  i  gotta  write  it  all  over  again  but  hello  it’s  your  local  garbage  can  e  back  with  another  muse  —  a  mans  this  time  because  i  really  needed  to  channel  my  overwhelming  love  for  sebastian  stan  into  something  sjhsjg  ANYWAY  u  know  what  to  do,  hit  the  like  or  dm  me  for  all  the  plots  !

[   MUSE   85   ]   ●●   is  that  SEBASTIAN  STAN  ?  no,  that’s  just  OLIVER  SINCLAIR,  the  38  year  old  CISMALE  who  is  a  HIGH  SCHOOL  PHYSICS  TEACHER.  some  say  they’re  FICKLE  AND  SELF - INDULGENT,  but  their  family  and  friends  will  swear  they’re  CHARMING  AND  ADROIT.  when  i  think  of  them,  i  think  of  blasting  music  on  full  volume,  leather  bomber  jackets,  getting  drunk  on  a  friday  night,  glow  in  the  dark  stars,  making  bad  decisions.  i  wonder  if  HIS  family  knows  that  HE  HAD  AN  AFFAIR  WITH  HIS  BROTHER’S  EX - WIFE.   ●●

QUICK   STATS   !

full name: oliver henry sinclair

nickname(s): ollie (but don’t call him that if you’re not family)

age: thirty-eight

date of birth: june 18th

zodiac sign: gemini

place of birth: ashcroft, ma

gender: cismale

sexual orientation:  bisexual

romantic orientation: biromantic

occupation: high school physics teacher

hogwarts house: slytherin

ABOUT   OLIVER   !

okie dokie, so oliver henry sinclair is the younger of the two sinclairs (actually.... idk how many siblings there are but for now let’s just say they’re two. he’s still the youngest tho) being born into a wealthy family, it’s no surprise that he grew up to be a little bit spoiled.

as a teenager (and even throughout his college years) he was quite the delinquent, constantly getting into and causing trouble with his friends. despite that, he excelled in his academics, especially in stem subjects. he wasn’t a genius, but he’s up there in terms of intelligence.

he !! loves space !! this boy is a literal space nerd ok he actually screamed when he saw the black hole photo but won’t admit it to anyone jskjd he DEFINITELY wanted to be an astronaut when he was younger and if his was ambitious enough, he could’ve been an astrophysicist.

unlike the rest of his family, he was never interested in business. so instead of working with his family, he decided to teach physics at ashcroft high school. he didn’t expect to love it so much, but he just gets along with his students so well ?? oliver is literally a 17 y/o boy in a 38 y/o man’s body.

AIGHT time for the spiciest part of intros: the secret. so around 17/18ish years ago, oliver had an affair with ariana sinclair bryson oakley who, at the time, was married to her older brother. definitely not one of his proudest moments, but you can’t really turn back time, can you? especially not when you end up conceiving a child (that to this day you’re not even sure is yours)

tbh oliver just wants to be in a committed relationship with someone he actually loves but he won’t even let himself have that considering the amount of ppl he’s hooked up with since college. lmao help him.

WANTED   CONNECTIONS   !

( 1/1 ) best friend: bonus points if they’re childhood friends, but this person is basically oliver’s ride or die. they’d do anything for each other and they just !! love each other a lot !! they’re probably each other’s platonic soulmate ok give me this connection thanks

( 0/?? ) past hookups: oliver,,,,, gets around ok. any gender because he doesn’t care but tbh this could go so many ways !! is it angsty ?? akward ?? are they somehow still friends ?? who knows ??

( 0/?? ) fwb: i mean ?? come on what else can you expect from Mr I Can’t Commit srjsg it’s just a suggestion tho bc *luna ward-lowell vc* i’m a child and i can’t do nsfw threads sgfng

( 0/?? ) exes: he’s got a lot, i’ll tell you that akjrsg i mean it’s probably because he was a horrible boyfriend throughout high school and college but whether it’s angsty or they’re still friends or there are some lingering feelings on either end i will take them ALL

( 0/?? ) friends: generic but like,,,, pls. my boy needs friends. he grew up in ashcroft so maybe childhood friends ?? pals from high school/college ?? he’s a teacher too so maybe teacher friends ?? anything goes my dudes

( 0/?? ) students: at this point i’m just spitballing ok ?? but oliver is a p chill teacher and i kind of want that to reflect in his relationships with his students ?? just them being close n shit ?? or maybe they’re annoyed with him for some reason ?? i’ve typed so many question marks in this whole intro am i ok

literally anything pls love me and my baby !!

#╰ OLIVER ↷ about. #in memoriam

[miusiu]

my got 8x03 thoughts here so i don’t spam twit again.....

Things i liked about this ep:

- Sansa (as always) -- “I’m not abandoning my people”, her being a witty queen whilst telling tyrion his witty comments wouldn’t be helpful in the battle above, her leaving her place of relative safety, having to battle with her terror to go and defend her people, even if it was futile and just buying them a few minutes (cue sobbing)

- sansa doing all that in front of dany’s Advisory Team, varys specifically, and letting them see that on top of all the practical planning for war and for her people, she’s genuinely here every step of the way to defend the north and anyone in it

- arya. every goddamn scene of her

- all of arya’s s1 callbacks, not today to the god of death and then running of to destroy the walking embodiment of death.... who else could ever!!!!!!! and her passing on the true stark knowledge of stick em with the pointy end

- arya’s video game stealth mission in the library... we love the last of us

- on that note, arya and sansa working together and trusting each other in every moment of their season 7 and 8 lives yas queens

- arya and the hound  best surrogate father/daughtership, and that including sandor working thru his fire thing for her

- mel being a badass with all her fire magicksz and the #tension she always brings to any scene she’s in... 

- mel getting that lovely peaceful end, on her own terms, after fighting and winning a battle for all humanity

- the dragonriders being almost totally useless, dragonfire being useless against Mx Night King... u can’t have all that power and just have everything go ur way

- beric’s T pose as he got stabbed to death... we love you jesus

- lyanna mormont being the absolute legend that she is and always will be she is living and well and she’s going to continue house mormont’s name :) 

- dani truly did nothing i have to laugh...

- grey worm surviving bc we WILL get that GW/missandei honeymoon in naath so help me god

- jorah completing his journey and dying in time for dani to lose any kind of moral compass that she had if she ever listened to him

- i just realised when the hound/mel leave the room they’d been in with arya.... they just had to kill wight!beric... it hurts........ 

- the fact that they had barely a chance to speak bc the dialogue from these writers is so extremely hit and miss lmao

- jon being a dumbass as usual and trying to fight the NK one on one without considering the field of corpses he’s running into... also the plot hole of dragonfire not burning said corpses before that. yes i liked it

- drogon just ollying outtie from dani once again... loyal son

- the night king being a bad bitch at hand to hand combat bc he’s like 8000 years old

we know for sure there’s gonna be a dance of dragons 2.0 because all that sfx money is being put into another, better-lit, sequence of dragons fighting mid-air and not ghost

things i didn’t like:

- killing lyanna............ a tween gal with the world at her toiny feet..... and in such a violent way lol it was jsutksljflsdf like they can make her badass without putting the viewer thru watching a child get brutalised

- how only two characters you could truly class as Main characters died.... the no-stakes battle of LIFE AND DEATH isn’t rly being sold to us as viewers when u only see brienne/jaime/tormund/gendry fighting in the courtyard of winterfel like.... it’s beyond the wall 2.0 and this time the other half of old married couple beric and thoros died

- they reanimate the fuckin dead in winterfell and we don’t get a single #memory come back to undead life from the crypts? not explicitly? u don’t have to retraumatise the characters but put SOME stakes in, emotional or physical, please.... 

- the crypts were never gonna be safe, but the amount of times it was emphasised how safe it was in 8x02... really they didn’t do anything with those scenes, they didn’t have the shireen stand-in come to the forefront....

- also they coulda focused on sansa actually fighting the wights but ok... it’s like all of her scenes in this were 90% complete without real payoff and i just have to infer it, being a sansa stan 4 lyf

- dani’s two foreign armies, being moc, just uhhhh being brought over to die..... en masse.... just one single named character that gets to magically survive against all odds

- ik that theon was supposed to be best at archery but the fact that he just magically was the last ironborn defender around bran to go......im glad he got his redemption n shit but omg i once again must laugh

- genuinely couldn’t tell u if rhaegal is alive but seeing as every other main character is here i’m sure he’s fine

- the reawightening, the second round of troops of the dead, was all nice and dramatic but did they really not have a strategy for this? reallly?  after hardhome?

- i feel like edd’s death was death number 40029 where sam Isn’t Moving and someone Needs to Save him and they Die Because Of It and i’m not about this... man’s killed a white walker let him live without guilt for three seconds

-jon just avoiding the dead dragon fire by the skin of his teeth fifty times... a good diversion from miss arya’s mad dash across winterfell but omg was ex-king in the north rly gonna FIGHT A WIGHT DRAGON WITH NOWT BUT A VALYRIAN STEEL SWORDDDDD

tldr

arya is that bitch. im happy for mel, witch queen

#gots8 spoilers #blesase talk to me about this it's all i think about x

[teejaydeetrip]

Is It Impossible To Be Happy?

On Saturday I sat around. I watched The Equalizer on Stan. It’s a Denzel Washington movie where he kills people. It was pretty good. I don’t know why they needed to splurge out on Chloe Grace Moretz. She is in the movie for 5 minutes at the start and 2 minutes at the end. It was also extremely predictable. But Denzel killing people was pretty fun. My hangover was immense. I’ve already written about this so I’ll just skip to the part where I went to a birthday. 4 birthdays actually. Dan, Ollie, Hannah, and I don’t know who else. I seem to remember feeling not so sad, but when I got to the party and spent 80 dollars in 2 hours on random cocktails and then realised I promised I would go see Alex tonight, I felt awkward and anxious. I have a moment or two when I’m not so sad. I thank Peta for lending me those books. One of them, a book called EEE EEEEE EEEE By Tao Lin, had a passage that was something like “Andrew remembers thinking things like I should drink soy milk because then my brain will be healthier and I will work better during the day and maybe one day I will finish my novel. Now Andrew thinks Is it impossible to be happy?” That passage resonated with me. It reflects perfectly my three years with Clara and the subsequent rut I have been in ever since, bar my time in Osaka. 

Peta says that she will lend me his next book. Peta also tells me she is checking herself into rehab in April for alcoholism and we buy each other cocktails and clink them into each other, cheers. 

I decided on the walk home that I would cancel going to see Alex. I have no money left on my card. I had cash in my room, but I don’t know how I feel about going to the Bald Faced Stag to see his friends band. I just don’t feel right. Queasy. Panicky. When I got home, I realised I had already spent my cash. I don’t know when. At least I had an excuse. I call Alex and he offers to pay my entry and buy me a couple drinks. I promise in return to shout him some of the stuff I had leftover from last week. The kind of stuff you keep in a little plastic snaplock bag in your wallet or underpants. 

At the Stag Alex is already drunk. I hang nervously onto the ATM while attempting to make small talk as he withdraws cash to fund my night out. I am sweating. There are timetables on the wall for the bands playing. Flaming Wreckage are the headliner, and they have that thorny sharp dagger metal band font. They are a thrash metal band. Why am I here?

Luckily for me, Alex doesn’t care about the other acts, so we go to the smoking area and scab cigarettes off an older married couple and their extremely cute blonde friend who thinks I’m morbid when I make a joke about smoking because I want to die. I laugh her off, saying we are at a thrash metal show and I’m just sticking to the theme. Her eye makeup is beautiful. I want to know her.

We show each other pictures of our cats and when they go back inside to watch some bands, that is the last I see of her. Alex buys me more beer. Gen shows up and gives me cigarettes and we walk about Till Lindemann from Rammstein, as is tradition. Gen travelled Europe to follow Rammstein on tour. Gen can speak german because she knows all of Rammstein’s lyrics and their translations. Gen has her eyebrows painted on like Amanda Palmer from the Dresden Dolls. It is good to see her outside of the Townie. 

Me and Alex do bumps of K in the smoking area and get legless. Later on I meet his friend Dave who seems nice enough but leaves almost immediately after I meet him to set up. They are good fun. A fan keeps pushing into me walking in circles. His own solitary death pit. He reminds me of an ant who has lost his colony. 

For a thrash metal band, these guys are pretty tight. I excuse myself to have a smoke and go into the bathroom and hit a huge bump of K and talk to a guy in the smoking area called Vo bout how music evolves through the generations and how some bands are still rad, even when key members leave. I even mention Crystal Castles and he doesn’t mind. These are the kinds of metalheads I enjoy. Ones who don’t mind interlopers from other music scenes. Me with my plain black shirt and sunglasses at night. I don’t fit in with the patches and jagged dagger-like text. 

I only catch the last 3 songs by the band because I spend so much time outside. Afterwards, I see Gen getting ready to leave and mean to say goodbye but by the time I’m done buying a beer she is gone. We drink our beers in the smoking area and I try to scab a cigarette off another guy but he says I can only have one if he lets me let him punch me in the dick. When I tell him I don’t want to let him punch me in the dick he is really insistent. He practically begs. It is intensely creepy. He seems like the kind of guy who follows a girl home because she kissed him at a party.

Alex gets punched in the dick for a free cigarette and I scab a durry off a middle-aged bald guy in an Iron Maiden T shirt and Alex asks what’s next and I tell him we’re gonna go back to Ollie and Dan and Hannah’s birthday. I do a bump in the cab and we arrive at Dan’s place and Peta has already left and everyone is munted. 10 more people arrive to Dan’s apartment and he kicks everyone out because the neighbours complain so we walk to Scott’s place about 10 minutes later. Erica and Shannon and I walk with me and I have no concept of where we are for a good 5 minutes. Erica and Shannon flip car handles the whole way and two cars actually open. Erica puts lighters on the seats as gifts and we keep walking. At Scott’s place I drink another beer and catch up with Dave, but I don’t remember what about. I get so dizzy I think I might die so I stop drinking and later I feel fine so I do another bump and then I feel shit again.

I catch up with Erica for about two hours then call it quits and everyone is sad to see me go and I don’t know why. When I arrive home I find a bag of Dorito’s on my bed and start grating cheese over it. I hallucinate voices in the backyard. When I check the back window it turns out I am not hallucinating. My neighbours are in the back drinking. I put the Doritos back in the bag and join them for a beer and someone is passing around lines. I don’t go to sleep until 4.30am and I am so bent out of shape I need to drop a temazapam to finally rest. 

#friends #party #beer #painkillers #depression #sadness #anxiety #metal

[makeitquietly]

A quick recap of what criticism I remember reading about this Blu-ray set: nobody agrees about the picture quality, or on which films it’s best/worst, but it’s on the waxy/soft side mostly because of too much digital cleaning or whatever, the sound is said to be good, some hissing, out of sync in the 1936 version of Berth Marks, extras are good too, no Blu-ray logo on the case, no booklet, awkward menu always reverts back to beginning, no play-all possibility, the films are not in the order of making/release.

But a lot of people worked very hard for a long time to make this set available. Which is why nothing negative should be said about it? Eh. Next time go for quality instead. Or don’t sell your product. Make it a fanwork.

Anyhow, if I was all powerful and had commissioned someone to restore these films, I’d make them go back and do it again if this set was presented to my ruling eyes.

OTOH, I paid 99 euros for this package and have had lots of fun with it and if there’d been Stan’s scrapbook (pages) amongst the galleries, I’d happily paid double. It’s not about the money spent except when people imply that negative reviews aren’t allowed. I’d paid 99 euros for the galleries alone.

It’s about the fact that the films aren’t as well restored as they should/could be. Beyond me, why it’s so difficult to admit. And it’s clearly not only an issue of getting waxified during some final cleanup or somehow being ruined when transferred to Blu-ray disks.

Any idiot (me) knowing nothing about the processes involved can easily confirm this by watching how different films on the same disk have different quality, likewise first reel can be almost okay, the second much worse, scenes and cuts have often annoyingly varying quality, even single frames look like they came from different prints and nothing was done to make them fit more seamlessly in their surroundings. And I’m not talking about that one wandering frame in Scram!, which must be some person’s idea of a joke, how else could it be so out of place?

Or didn’t anyone watch these that one last important time since it wasn’t removed, nor were the countless spots still there in most of the films? I know, when things get cleaned up that one remaining crumb is much easier to spot... er... see my point?

There are also jumpy frames, which I imagine would’ve been easy to adjust, and to prevent those ubiquitous flashy cuts, you’d only needed to adjust the brightness of that single frame causing the flashing. Even I have done that on GIMP when making gifs. I’m guessing too much contrast on, say, Me and My Pal isn’t a problem created by the wax people either.

The ridiculously softly glowing Brats might be, there’s an awful lot of glowing in One Good Turn too, and in parts of Sons of the Desert, for example, where faces are dangerously close to have that overly scrubbed look, which is a big problem in The Chimp and Come Clean.

When it comes to wax, Helpmates and County Hospital are the most hideous, the latter must be the worst looking of all the films in this set, being also awfully spotty as well as too dark. It’s got other faults too, like wonky frames. The Music Box has a pretty decent first reel (except for the opening scene), and despite not being able to see the stripes on Stan’s and Ollie’s pants because of too much contrast, Me and My Pal is also clearly better wax-wise in the first reel.

It’s interesting to watch some of these films for the first time, thinking that this is crap quality picture, but then the second reel is even worse and suddenly there’s a whole new level of crappiness.

I think the sound is ever so slightly out of sync for a bit in Way Out West and One Good Turn. At least it is compared to those same films on my 21 DVD set. In addition to being very clearly out of sync in that Berth Marks reissue like others have noticed. Berth Marks also has a weird stripey “cover” over the actual film. I suppose it was impossible to remove.

Even with some sync problems, if I had to choose the best restorations from this new collection, Way Out West would be on my list, together with Busy Bodies, Hog Wild and Towed in a Hole. Some parts of Sons of the Desert look gorgeous. With grain and all. Pretty much like Atoll K but unfortunately not as consistently. (Atoll K was restored by different people, I gather.)

The much anticipated but already online for free since 2019 The Battle of the Century then? Well, the first reel is quite good, or would be if it wasn’t a weird blend of an ugly greenish yellow or yellowish green. Sepia isn’t what it used to be. And I would’ve thought they’d made sure to get all those black spots removed at least from this one what with it being one of the “new” things on this set. The second reel is worse except colour-wise. But at least it’s there complete with Charlie Hall and the “what pie fight” ending.

Haven’t mentioned The Midnight Patrol, Their First Mistake or Twice Two yet. The last two are pretty evenly waxy, and comparing The Midnight Patrol to Come Clean and The Chimp makes it not that bad. There’s no actual need to bleach faces or an excuse for Billy Gilbert’s patternless shirt, is there?

For me the treasures from this set can be found on each disk under galleries. Even for those not interested in scripts, press material, posters and assorted documents, there are circa 1,400 photos, many of which really are rare, or at least I’d never seen them before. One of the gems are the about 140 photos from Babe’s Vim days. Awesome! Nothing as gemmy from Stan’s past before Laurel and Hardy, and someone put wrong names on the photos where he appears with the Hurleys, not the Cookes. Yes, there’s a short, handy description for most of the photos. 

So many of them and I must peruse more, of course, but I’m going give a special mention to Stan with both Loises on the set of Brats for adorableness and likewise to Thelma Todd for previously unseen (by me) variations from her photoshoot on that bathroom set. Love the six new-to-me photos of Stan and Babe together on the 1932 British tour especially. Great stuff. Oh, and Mae Busch, Dorothy Christy and Charley Chase in their Sons of the Desert portraits look fabulous.

Another treasure are the interviews with only a couple of slightly dubious moments. Joe Rock made me grin. George Marshall made me cry. Walter Woolf King made me laugh. Most wonderful. Short introduction by Randy Skretvedt for each interview. He’s the one who did the interviewing too. There’s 15 of them altogether. Plus a chance to hear composer Marvin Hatley perform Honolulu Baby and Will You Be My Lovey-Dovey. The audio only interviews come with some more great photos.

I kind of adore how Richard W. Bann casually debunks Anita Garvin’s The Battle of the Century story with one dry line during his commentary of the film. Hurts so good. Let’s have more debunking!

Speaking of the commentaries, and maybe more about them on some other occasion, Bann only comments The Battle and The Music Box, all the rest, including That’s That and The Tree in a Test Tube have commentaries by Randy Skretvedt.

I was expecting Bann to tell the whole story of why it took so long to get The Battle on video but he didn’t; fair enough, I thought, but then in his other commentary he goes on about his grudge with a dead guy, so I guess it was not his, um, politeness that stopped him from dishing on the much more recent and therefore interesting stuff. What then?

Perhaps a third person sharing the commentary duties would’ve been a good idea. That was my thought when Skretvedt obsessed over Stan’s smoking for the third time. By obsessed I mean he listed all the films where, according to him, Stan smokes. What for, you may wonder. I did. No answer. I remember reading somewhere that Stan not smoking in the movies means he’s a child. (Yes, some Laurel and Hardy fans are somewhat weird sometimes. Aren’t we all?) Maybe Skretvedt was trying to debunk that theory? Hehe, okay, I know he wasn’t, because he did the “they’re children, Hal Roach said so” routine in his Their First Mistake commentary, complete with Charles Barr quotes to prove there’s nothing gay about Ollie liking Stan more than his own wife. Made me fume. I don’t know why. Nothing new.

I don’t know why it doesn’t occur to him that if Ollie didn’t spend so much time with Stan, Mae wouldn’t be the lonely, disappointed wife who ends up wanting a divorce after one too many lies from Ollie and accuses Stan of alienation of Ollie’s affections. But no, apparently it’s no wonder that Ollie likes Stan more than his wife because she hits him with the broom. So the hitting came first and then too much time spent with Stan? I don’t think so.

Anyhow, third person, more variety, something newer, or at least an explanation for Stan’s smoking being of particular importance. Ollie’s smoking isn’t mentioned. Also, to digress even more, I always found the claim that Stan doesn’t smoke because he is a child odd, not only because he does, but also because he drinks alcohol too and manages to be married in several films. But the Laurel & Hardy child squad of course thinks the wives are actually their mothers. (Yes & again, weird.)

I did and do also wonder if there would’ve been anyone available and even if there had been, if these old school fans had accepted someone with different views. Probably not.

Still waiting for Skretvedt to notice Stan’s camera looks. Maybe he just hasn’t been a fan for long enough yet... 😛

I’m out of steam now. Need to rehydrate.

One more thing: No booklet, so maybe nobody involved wanted to spread about their name more than absolutely necessary knowing the restoration work was, shall we say, uneven?

Tl;dr: Uneven restoration work. Great extras. Mostly interesting commentaries.

#Stan Laurel #Oliver Hardy #Laurel and Hardy #the definitive restorations #2020 #2020s