#i also think two of the main themes (letting go of the past; what it means to die) are Majorly helped by some incredible emotional beats | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kwanisms · 10 months

Text

The Library of Illusion — The Temple Guardian

«« previous | masterlist | next »»

➮ naga!Mingi × fem!Reader wc: 6.2k summary: In the adventure section, Y/N finds herself in a dark ancient temple where she runs into a treasure hunter but soon the two run into trouble when they awaken the guardian of the temple. genres/themes/au: smut; fantasy, adventure, supernatural; non idol au, naga au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, minor character death, mention of blood, decapitation, and a headless corpse, also implied human consumption (mingi isn't human so keep that in mind lol), sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings below the cut!

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby @thesolarplanetarysystem @salty-for-suga @devilsmatches @dmnspiit @simeonswhore @yangracha @seonghwalover @atinypurr @aikyubi @labyrinthonmymind @bintificreads @toxic-babexe

ateez taglist: @2hodefender @cixrosie @pyeonghongrie-main @flowerboykun @sanjoongie @anyamaris @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @mlysalt @cinnamoon-belle @briannabk22 @is4b3ll3s @hyukssunflower @vampiirose @0325tiny @ateezstanforever @justiny @jeongwangjessmina @lacie220900 @aaaaajonghooooo @dementedaly @confusedmoonchild777 @burnsmepls @nebulousbookshelf

special tags: @thelargefrye @hwasangelbaby

join my taglists! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED.

a/n: I really enjoyed writing this one. I'm a huge slvt for double penetration so this was right up my alley. I'm also a major monster fvcker enthusiast so there's that as well. Thank you so much for reading! We have two more parts before the event ends and I'm looking forward to writing both of them so I hope you're looking forward to reading them! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. Header and banner made by me. Adult content and reblog banners made by me with a template made by @cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All my writings are ©️ kwanisms.

smut warnings: unprotected sex (wrap it), sex with a supernatural creature, naga!Mingi, two dicks, double penetration (f receiving), anal (f receiving), oral (f receiving), rimming (f receiving), slight dubcon (Mingi doesn't listen one time but that's it), creampie, hint at multiple rounds (unrealistic sex but Mingi isn't human so 🤷🏻‍♀️ lol), I think I got everything but of course if I missed any let me know!

═══════════════════════════════════════════

“Just open the door,” you ordered, ignoring the way Seonghwa narrowed his eyes at you.

“As you wish,” he answered, pulling open the heavy wooden door. You started forward, stopping when he grabbed your arm firmly. Glancing down, you noticed how his grip was firm but still gentle at the same time. You look up from his fingers to meet his gaze.

“Be careful,” he said softly, eyes darting between yours. “Be on your toes at all times here. Some of the people you may meet here aren’t what they seem,” he added.

You narrowed your eyes. “What does that mean?”

Seonghwa said nothing, still holding your gaze. “Can…” your voice trailed off.

“Can you see the future?”

Seonghwa let go of your arm. “No,” he answered. “It’s just a feeling.”

“But you see everything?”

Seonghwa nodded once. “Everything.”

Your stomach churned. He’d said this before but it didn’t really dawn on you what he meant by everything. Deciding not to dwell on it, you turned to look into the black void of the hallway before you.

“I mean it,” Seonghwa said, holding up his hand as you tried to step forward. “Be careful.”

You nodded silently, letting him know you heard him.

Seonghwa reluctantly lowered his hand and watched as you stepped past the door frame. The door shut behind you and he turned away from the wood, making his way back over to the desk in the middle of the room.

“Just a little while longer,” he murmured before lifting his head and turning to look at the door with the orange sign that read ‘Restricted Section.’

“Just be a little more patient.”

Inside the hallway was just as the others had been and as you walked down the aisle, flashlight in hand, you wondered what you might find in this section. The last section.

‘The last section.’

The thought hadn’t registered when you first walked into the door but now that you were heading down this dark corridor, it finally hit you that this was the last section before you could finally find freedom.

With a newfound pep in your step, you hurried along, shining the light ahead, determination flooding your body.

The wood of the library gave way to stone and you glanced down to see the stone was not unlike the stone of the Library. A type of sandstone. You continued to walk and looked up, noticing a light in the distance.

Picking up the pace, you hurried down the hall towards the light, noticing how the walls were now covered in green vines with leafy greenery.

As you approached the light, you discovered it was sunlight filtering through the ceiling. You kept your flashlight on, glancing up to peer through a slot in the ceiling that led to the outside. You could see green vines, blue skies, and hear the sounds of the jungle outside.

You felt relief for a moment before you remembered this wasn’t home. This was the adventure section. You couldn’t let your guard down like that.

Lowering your gaze, you continued on, walking through the hall until you reached a large room. Glancing around, you noticed that this seemed to be some sort of ceremonial chamber.

Across from where you stood was another open doorway. You walked forward, ignoring the massive bugs that scurried across your path. You made your way over to one of the staircases against the wall that led up to the platform where the doorway stood.

Once on the landing, you glanced behind you and noticed how the room seemed to remind you of something out of an Indiana Jones movie or one of the Tomb Raider games.

‘Focus, Y/N,’ you told yourself as you turned back to the doorway and entered it carefully. You needed to stay on your toes, like Seonghwa said.

As you walked, you kept a close eye on the floor and taking it slow. The last thing you wanted to do was set off some sort of ancient booby trap.

The hall turned left at the end and you peered around the corner, making sure the coast was clear before you continued forward. At the end of this new hallway you found yourself at a crossroad. You could take the left tunnel which turned at the end or you could take the right tunnel which continued further than your eyes could tell.

Deciding the endless tunnel wasn’t a good idea, you turned left and headed down to the turn. Each step was carefully calculated and you kept your head on a swivel to make sure you didn’t run into any traps.

As you neared the end of the hall, you could hear the sound of someone mumbling to themselves and the sound of stone and metal scraping. You could only imagine what you’d find when you rounded this corner.

Once you reached the end of the hall, you peered around the corner and saw a man standing at what looked to be another door. He was inspecting a hole in the wall next to the door.

He wasn’t exactly tall but he wasn’t short. Maybe just a bit taller than yourself.

He wore similar clothes to you, tan shorts and button up shirt. He wore crew socks and thick brown hiking boots. He had a backpack that was resting against the wall beside him. He wore a wide brim hat and had a large machete strapped to his belt.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” you heard him grumble as he pushed his hat back, letting it fall behind him, the string that hung down keeping it from falling to the floor. “There’s no mechanism here,” he continued, speaking to himself.

You watched him for a couple more minutes as he inspected the cut out. Finally you cleared your throat.

If this were any other situation, the way he jumped nearly a foot and struggled to unsheathe his machete would have been comical. His eyes were wide, expression shocked as he held the machete aloft.

When his eyes landed on you, his expression relaxed as did his posture. “Who are you?” he asked cautiously. “An adventurer, much like yourself,” you answered, stepping out from behind the corner.

The man’s eyes looked over you quickly before replacing his machete in its sheath.

“What are you doing here?”

You watched as he returned to the square cut out in the wall, bending over to peer inside it. “I’m looking for something,” you answered, watching him.

“Oh yeah? Treasure?” he asked, turning his head to look at you.

He scoffed when you shook your head. “No one comes out this far in the jungle if they aren’t looking for treasure,” he replied. “Maybe I’m looking for knowledge,” you replied. The man looked at you again, giving you another once over.

“What did you say your name was?” he asked. You shook your head. “I never said it,” you answered. “I’m Y/N,” you finally introduced yourself.

The man nodded once. “Nice to meet you Y/N,” he replied. “I’m Charlie.”

“So what are you looking for, Charlie?” you asked as you walked over. He nodded towards the door. “According to the texts and maps, this door leads into a special chamber,” he explained. “There’s supposed to be something special behind this door. I’m assuming treasure,” he continued.

“But I can’t seem to figure out how to open the door,” he explained, looking back at the cut out. “Usually these doors have mechanisms that have to be switched to open them but there doesn’t seem to be anything in here,” he added, gesturing to the square hole.

You glanced around, inspecting the carvings in the walls. It was extremely detailed and intricate. “Maybe it’s a bogey,” you offered, looking at Charlie as he glanced up. “A bogey? You mean like a decoy?”

You nodded. “Exactly. Maybe this is a diversion and the real switch is somewhere else,” you explained, turning to look around again. Charlie joined you in looking around.

“Then I guess we better get looking.”

Looking around the hall proved to be a task in itself. Everything that looked remotely like a switch didn’t budge and not only Charlie but you also found yourself getting impatient. That key was the only thing standing between you and your freedom and you were running out of time.

Charlie let out a groan of frustration, leaning against the wall. “This is impossible!” he grumbled. “The switch may not even be in this hallway!”

You pulled out your canteen and took a sip, pondering his words. You glanced over to a small opening about ten feet from the door. “Have you looked in there?” you asked, nodding towards it. Charlie looked up and back at you.

“No,” he answered. “I figured it was just an indentation. Nothing special,” he added. You replaced your canteen in your bag and got up, walking over carefully. Turning on your flashlight you peered into the opening and found it led to a room.

Pulling back, you glanced at Charlie. “There’s a room here,” you announced.

Charlie got up quickly and hurried over. “Do you want to go first or shall I?” he asked. Your grip on your flashlight tightened. “You seem more experienced,” you answered, looking back at him. “Maybe you should go first?”

Charlie nodded and moved to grab his bag. He pulled out his own flashlight and peered into the room, looking beside the opening, above and below before carefully shimmying into the gap and into the room.

You waited for him to give the all clear before you stepped into the room with him. “Stay there,” he warned. “Actually, it might be better if you stay outside,” he added. “Just in case something in here closes a door or something.”

You nodded and backed up, peering into the room from the hall.

Charlie made his way carefully around the room, shining his light over the walls, floor, and ceiling. Upon reaching the wall in the corner where the wall separating the hall from the room stood, he murmured something. “What was that?” you asked. Charlie turned to look back at you.

“I think I found the switch, stand back just in case,” he explained. You pulled back, standing a good foot away from the gap in the wall. Charlie counted to three before activating the switch and your ears caught the sound of stone grinding. You turned your head as the door at the end of the hall slowly started to open.

“You did it!” you called out. “It’s opening!”

Charlie appeared a moment later, a triumphant smile on his face as he joined you. “Let’s go,” he said, leading the way. You followed closely behind, keeping an eye out for any traps.

The room behind the door was huge.

Half the room was lit from the sunlight filtering in from a square cut in the ceiling which stood probably a good thirty feet above your heads. The side walls of the chamber were covered in intricate carvings like the hall.

The back wall facing you was a massive carved face with a split down the middle. Under the face was a dark empty space.

On either side of the face were large black spaces where light couldn’t seem to penetrate. Large stone pillars held up the ceiling and disappeared into the darkness.

On the floor in the middle of the chamber was a large stone structure with carvings on the sides and a flat top. At each corner of the structure on the floor were what looked like pressure plates.

You inspected the carvings on the plates as Charlie looked at the stone bed.

“What is this chamber?” you wondered aloud. Charlie shook his head. “I don’t know,” he answered softly.

“Maybe a funerary chamber?”

You looked up. “A funerary chamber?” He nodded as he looked from the carvings to you. “Some ancient civilizations held funerals in special chambers,” he explained as you stood up to walk closer to the stone bed.

You noticed four loops which had chains attached to them. “This is where they’d lay the body being buried,” Charlie continued to explain as he moved to look at the pressure plates.

“Why would they need chains to hold down the body?” you asked, drawing his attention as you carefully picked up an old chain. “Maybe it’s symbolic?” he offered, standing up and walking over to you, taking the chain from your hands.

You glanced around, noticing a section in one of the side walls where the wall was carved into large stone blocks at the base. You walked closer to inspect, eyes widening as you realized the blocks were not carved into the wall. They were carved out of the wall. “Charlie, over here!”

He hurried over to see what you’d found.

When you showed him the blocks and how they had handles, he shrugged his bag off and handed it to you.

“Stand back,” he warned before taking hold of the handles and pulling.

The block, despite looking like it weighed tons, actually moved as he pulled it from the wall. “Do you think these are to weigh down the pressure plates?” you asked, turning to look at the stone bed and plates.

“What do the pressure plates open?” Charlie wondered as he let go of the block and peered around the chamber.

Your eyes fell on the face in the wall and you tilted your head curiously as you thought about the Tomb Raider games you’d played in your youth. “Maybe that’s a door?” you offered, pointing to the face and the split in the middle.

Charlie looked up at the face in the wall. “You think two of these plates open one half and the other plates open the other side?” he asked, looking at you. “Let’s find out,” you offered, looking back with a smile, one that Charlie returned.

Setting his bag down and shrugging your own off, you moved to grab the handles of the block next to the one Charlie started pulling.

It was heavy but it wasn’t impossible for you to move, surprisingly.

Together you guided the blocks to the pressure plates and pushed them onto them carefully. The blocks weighed down the plates and they sank a few inches into the floor.

The two of you headed to the opposite side and repeated the same thing, pulling the blocks from the walls and pushing them one at a time onto the plates.

“When we get this one on the last plate, stand back behind the stone bed and be ready to run,” Charlie said as you stopped at the last plate. You nodded to show you understood before the two of you pushed the last block in place, backing up as the pressure plate sank into the floor.

You looked up as a loud mechanism in the floor started moving, shaking the floor as the two halves of the face opened slowly, swinging out to reveal another carved face with much more detail.

Your eyes widened as you realized something.

“It was a mask!” you said excitedly, drawing Charlie’s attention. “The doors were two halves of a mask!” He looked back at the face as the doors stopped. “That’s really creepy,” Charlie noted, nodding towards the eyes which were black holes.

You pointed at the base where the mouth was. “Look,” you whispered.

Inside the mouth was a small chamber full of glittering gold and sparkling gems.

You watched as Charlie let out a whoop and hurried over to inspect the treasure trove. You hung back with a smile on your face as he looked over the loot.

A breeze blew through the room, seemingly pulling you towards the face and you felt the hairs on your body stand on end. ‘What the fuck is this feeling?’ you wondered as you looked around.

Sensing you were no longer alone, you tried to get Charlie’s attention. “Hey,” you said softly, glancing around. “Something doesn’t feel right,” you called over to him.

“I think we should hurry up and get out of here.”

Charlie nodded as he picked up several gems and inspected them.

You heard a slithering against the stone floor seemingly coming from the darkness.

“Charlie!” you hissed, drawing his attention finally. “Something’s here,” you explained, looking at the darkness, eyes wide. Charlie rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, Y/N,” he said, shaking his head. “This isn’t a movie,” he continued.

“There aren’t any monsters.”

Quick as a flash, something from the darkness grabbed Charlie’s legs and pulled him under the head. “WHAT THE FUCK!” he screamed, flailing as he tried to free himself. “Y/N!” he yelled.

Without thinking, you ran forward and grabbed his hands, trying to pull him free.

“Fuck,” he screamed. “I don’t want to die!”

Your grip slipped as he was pulled from you and under the head into the darkness, screaming. You fell back onto the stone floor, scrambling back as Charlie continued to scream until his screaming was cut short and a gurgling sound came from the darkness.

You watched in horror as something was thrown and rolled into the light.

You let out a scream as Charlie’s severed head came to a stop, a look of pure terror etched on his face. Looking up into the dark void you could see small rivers of blood flowing from what you assumed was Charlie’s headless body.

Trying to scramble backwards, you could hear slithering and you braced yourself for whatever it was to appear and grab you as well.

The slithering moved from the space under the head to the side. Before you could gather yourself to stand, something large was thrown from the darkness and landed beside you. It was Charlie’s body.

You looked away, trying not to vomit as you looked back into the darkness to see a pair of bright blue eyes glowing and watching you.

A hissing voice sounded from the darkness. “What are you doing here?”

You stared at the eyes in fear, frozen to the spot. “I assssssked you a quessssstion,” the voice said.

You glanced to the side where Charlie's bloodied and headless body lay and then back up to the creature before you.

“Tell me, mortal,” the creature hissed as it advanced slowly, bright blue eyes almost glowing in the shadows.

“Why sssshouldn't I kill you?”

You held up your hands non threateningly. “I'm not here for the treasure.”

The creature hissed, moving quickly and darting to the next pillar, only to peer around it at you, eyes still shining.

“Liessss,” it hissed. You shook your head. “I swear,” you answered. “I'm here for something else.” The creature then raised itself up, standing much higher than before and you felt your stomach sink. “And what would that be?”

You watched as the dark shadow curled itself around the pillar.

This creature had to be massive, judging by how you could still hear its body move against the stone floor despite its eyes being a good ten feet in the air.

“A k-key,” you stammered. “I'm here for a key.”

The creature stopped, turning to look down at you. You could see its head tilt, looking at you curiously. “A keeeeyyy?” It echoed.

You nodded vigorously. “Yes, that's right!”

The creature slowly lowered itself down to the stone floor and moved closer little by little, eyes swaying back and forth until it finally emerged from the shadows.

You held in a gasp as the creature moved into the light. It had the upper body of a man. A very handsome man with dark brown, almost black hair with light blue streaks. His eyes were that same aquamarine that glowed in the shadows.

The lower half of his body was that of a snake.

Bright blue scales with lighter blue ventral scales. He towered over you as he moved forward. You watched the snake portion of his body slither forward as he started to circle you. If you had to estimate his size, he was probably nearly 20 feet long, standing up at about 9 feet. You turned, eyes following his scales until you were met face to face.

Up close, you could see the reptilian vertical slit pupils as he studied you carefully. “You're looking for a key?” he asked again, tilting his head ever so slightly as his aqua blue eyes studied you.

You nodded again, keeping his gaze, apprehension filling your body.

“But not for treassssssure?” he asked in a hiss. Shaking your head, you couldn't help but tremble under his piercing stare, knowing at any moment, he could sink those sharp teeth into your skin and wrap his muscular scaly body around you, squeezing the life from you until you went cold.

‘What does he even eat?’ You wondered suddenly but quickly shook that thought from your mind.

“I don't even know what treasure you're talking about,” you lied as the creature stopped circling you.

“I know you’re lying,” he said. You nodded, holding your hands up.

“Okay, you’re right. I know what treasure you’re taking about but I swear,” you explained. “I don’t want it. I’m only looking for the key.”

The creature looked you over before glancing at the treasure and then back.

“Are you looking for thisssssss key?” he asked, reaching to his side and pulling up a key from a small pack that rested against his hip. It was indeed the key you were looking for, the same metal and the special insignia.

You nodded. “Yes,” you answered. “That’s the key!”

The creature pulled the key back. “What do you want it for?”

You pouted at him. “I need it to get back to my own world,” you answered. “Your own world?” the creature asked. You were getting sick of this mimicking game.

“Yes, I need the key so I can leave this place and go home. I just want to get on with my life.”

The snake creature tilted his head. “What’ssssss your name?” he asked suddenly. You hesitated. ‘Why is he asking my name? What could he possibly want.’

“Y-Y/N,” you answered, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Y/NNNNNNN? That’sssssss a pretty name,” he said, making your cheeks and ears grow warm. “What’s your name?” you asked, trying to divert attention from yourself. “Mingiiiiiii,” he answered. “Mingi?” you asked, tilting your head.

He nodded, a small smile spreading across his face before he licked his lips, displaying his forked blue tongue. “And what exactly are you?” you asked, looking him over. Mingi tilted his head again. “I am a naga,” he explained.

“And the guardian of this temple.”

You nodded wordlessly. ‘A naga? Okay, I think I can work with this.’

“Okay, Mingi the Naga,” you said, placing your hands on your hips. “Let’s make a trade.”

Mingi narrowed his eyes, the slitted pupils staring you down. “A traaaade?”

You nodded. “For the key.”

Mingi let out a breathless laugh.

“And what could you possssssibly offer me?!” he asked, narrowing his bright blue eyes at you. You’d expected this question and figured you’d already fucked the other guardians for the key, not to mention an alien and a spider creature, a naga might be a little fun.

Without a word, you glanced down to the button of your shorts and back up. Mingi didn't seem to follow so instead of explaining, you decided to show him.

Taking a deep breath, your hands moved to undo your button and zipper, Mingi's eyes darted from your hands to your face. “I ssssssee,” he hissed, lips stretching into a wide smirk as the implications of your actions dawned on him.

“You would give yourssssself to me for the key?”

You nodded, your hands pausing to gauge whether he would take the bait or not. After a moment of silence, during which you had a mini stare down with the serpent guardian.

“Proccceeed.”

You continued, maintaining eye contact as you pushed your shorts down, leaving your lower half completely bare. Mingi's eyes raked over your form as you discarded your shorts on the stone floor. Quick as a flash, he coiled himself around your body, not squeezing, merely keeping you in place.

“Keep going,” he urged, seemingly enjoying this charade.

You slowly started to undo the buttons of your blouse under his watchful stare until you shimmied out of it altogether, dropping it on the floor with your shorts and leaving you in only your black lace bra.

Mingi's serpentine body tightened around you, his hands moving to take yours and carefully guide you up until you were at eye level with him.

“Thisss issss not a game,” he said as soon as you were level.

“Do not toy with me, mortal.” You shook your head in response.

“No, not a game,” you repeated.

Mingi nodded. “I'm not like your human loverssss,” he continued. You nodded your head once. “I know,” you answered but he cut you off. "No," he said in a deep tone. “You don't.”

Now it was your turn to tilt your head curiously.

“What do you mean?”

Mingi's hand wandered from yours, moving up your arm to your neck before down your chest, grazing over your hardened nipple and down between your thighs, cupping your heat.

“Why don't I just ssssshow you inssstead?” You nodded, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat as Mingi removed your bra with a firm tug, the material pulling from your body with a nasty rrrrrip.

You gasped as he tossed your torn undergarment to the side while part of his tail wrapped around your midsection, holding you in place while he leaned back.

Your eyes traveled from his face and down his toned torso down until the golden flesh met the cyan scales. It was then you noticed the slit. You hadn't seen it before because you'd been too preoccupied with Mingi’s handsome face and bright blue eyes.

Right where you expected a human phallus to be was a slit in the ventricular scales that ran down the front of his snake-like lower half. You watched, enthralled, as the slit slowly spread open.

Your curiosity was satiated as not only one but two phallus emerged from the slit. Hemipenes. Of course. Most reptiles had hemipenes, so why wouldn't a mythical snake human hybrid have them?

The twin clocks stood erect, the heads curving towards Mingi's body. They were both quite large. The very tip of both were flared with small spiny glands. The shafts were covered in rows of these same spines until the top of the bulbous bases.

Both cocks had bulbous, almost knot-like bases that were dark blue, lightening up to a bright, almost neon, aqua blue at the head.

Your lips parted as a small “oh” left your mouth.

“You definitely aren't like any of my previous lovers,” you confirmed.

Mingi smirked proudly, wondering if he had managed to frighten you off but when you looked up at him, a mischievous grin of your own present, he knew he was in for an interesting ride.

Carefully, he brought you up level to him again, eyes darting between yours. “I asssssume you need no… persssssuasion?” His voice held a hint of amusement, prompting you to shake your head. “No,” you answered. “Not at all. In fact…”

You patted his scaly skin. “Set me down for a moment, please.”

Curiously, Mingi did just that and watched with a mixture of amusement and animalistic arousal as you turned away, climbing onto the stone bed and showing him your dripping cunt.

You were presenting yourself to him.

“Go right ahead.”

Just as quickly as he set you down, Mingi had you wrapped up in his coils again, the end of his tail wrapping twice around your waist and picking you up, bringing your cunt to his face. “Oh, this isn't exactly what I- AH!” you whimpered as you felt his tongue lick a slow long stripe from your clit back to your ass.

“Your body isssssn't prepared to accommodate me,” Mingi whispered, giving you another lick and groaning at the taste. “What do you mean it's not prepared? I'm practically dripping!” you groaned, squirming in his hold as you felt his hands on your backside, spreading your cheeks.

“Yessss, one hole isssss ready but thissss one,” he said, eyeing your puckered hole. “Thissss one isssss not.” Your eyes widened as you tried to free yourself from his coils but to no avail.

You'd never had anyone in your… backdoor.

“Whoa, whoa, time out!” you said, clawing at his scales as you felt his hot breath fan over your asshole. “Wait just a goddamn second!”

You shuddered, let out a squeak as you felt the tip of his forked tongue swirl around your hole before prodding at it. “S-shit!” you gasped, your walls clenching around nothing as you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter as he tongue at the puckered entrance.

“Wait, just wait!”

Again, he didn't listen and you squealed as he forced the tip of his forked tongue into your asshole. “Whoa, okay wait,” you gasped. “Fucking hell, Mingi! Give me a second!” you hissed, swatting at his scales, hoping he might give you a moment to accommodate and thankfully he did, giving you a couple of minutes to adjust to the intrusion.

After a few minutes, you gave him the ‘okay’ to continue, letting out a squeal as he continued to toy with your hole, teasing and licking and making your walls clench around nothing.

You had hoped by now, he'd be buried deep in your cunt but here he was, tonguing your ass, making it wetter and wetter with his saliva. “Mingi!” you hissed, relief filling your core as his tongue finally withdrew from your rear. “Finally!”

Somewhere between the big reveal and Mingi's tongue being in your ass, you'd forgotten that he had two dicks and as you were lowered, your sopping cunt now in line with one, you remembered at the most inopportune moment that he was preparing your ass to take the other one. ‘Fu-’

“OH SHIT!” you gasped as the tip of one of the two cocks pushed into your wet pussy. The small protrusions you'd dubbed spines felt more like bumps as the head of the cock slid further and further into your warmth. Mingi let out a shuddering gasp as he bottomed out, the top of the bulbous base pressed firmly against your lips.

You could feel the weight of his other cock resting against your slick asshole. There was no way it was going to fit and if he tried, you knew it was gonna hurt like hell.

Slowly, Mingi retracted his cock from your cunt before tilting your body slightly so you felt the head of his cocks at both holes.

‘It's not gonna fit. It's not gonna fit!’

You shut your eyes as you felt Mingi's coils tighten, pulling you down. You felt a firm pressure against your ass as the other head slid into your cunt again. “Relaxxxxxx,” you heard Mingi whisper in your ear.

As you listened to his voice, you felt your muscles unclench and slowly, the head of the other cock breached your hole, slipping inside with relative ease thanks to his saliva.

With both heads breached, Mingi slowly pulled you down, pushing both cocks into your holes, stretching both simultaneously. You'd never experienced such a sensation before. It was unlike anything you'd ever felt, having both holes filled at the same time.

“Oh f-fuck,” you cursed as you felt one tip press against your cervix.

“You like that,” you heard him chuckle. It wasn't a question.

“Y-yes,” you stammered, let out a moan as you felt him thrust lightly. “Oh god yes!”

Mingi chuckled again. “You mortal women are so intriguing.”

“Just shut up and fuck me,” you growled.

Without another word, Mingi did just that, his scaly skin hitting your soft flesh with each snap of his hips, the end of his tail squeezing your body just enough to keep you firmly in place but not enough to hurt.

“Oh fuuuuuuck,” you moaned as your walls clenched around both cocks. “So f-full,” you whimpered. “Feel s-so good!”

You heard Mingi snicker but said nothing, focusing more on the feeling of being stuffed so full with both cocks twitching inside you.

His pace didn’t falter and you knew you were in for a wild ride.

Each thrust drove you closer and closer to the edge. "Fuuuuck me," you groaned, eyes rolling back as Mingi kept your legs spread, tail still coiled firmly around your waist, holding you stomach down as his hips pounded into you. "I already am," he said cheekily.

His thrusts were so powerful, quick, his hips snapping against your ass with each stroke. Your lips parted as moan after moan tumbled from your lips, small dribbles of spit falling as the temple guardian almost fucked you dumb.

"Almosssssst," he hissed, his hips moving more erratically as he chased his own orgasm, yours just within your reach. "So close," you gasped, walls fluttering around his cock as you teetered on the edge. "Ch-choke me!" You cried out suddenly.

Mingi tilted his head curiously, his hips not stalling for one moment. "Damn it, just do it!" You growled.

Mingi rolled his eyes but obliged, the end of his tail moving from just under your breast to wrap snugly around your throat, squeezing just enough.

"F-fuck! I'm gonna cum," you groaned, the muscles in your thighs twitching as you finally tumbled over the edge, white hot heat searing through your body like a warm liquid spreading to your fingers and toes.

Stars blinded you as your vision went dark and fuzzy for a moment. Mingi removed his coils from around your throat as he helped you ride out your high just as he hit his own, letting out a sharp hiss, his teeth sank into your bare shoulder, causing you to cry out in pain.

At the same time, you felt him explode inside your walls, thick spurts of his hot load filling both holes until they spilled around his cocks and fell to the stone floor below you.

From the bite wound in your shoulder, you felt a tingling sensation that turned into an intense burning but it wasn't painful. Your walls clenched around him as the sensation spread, a whimper leaving your lips as his teeth pulled from your flesh.

The burning sensation stayed, coursing through your veins until it settled in your belly as you felt both of Mingi's cocks stiffen inside you.

"What're you doing?" you mumbled, crying out as he thrust into you, more of his cum spilling out of your abused holes.

"Again," he hissed in your ear. "Again?" you asked, turning your head to glance back at him, meeting those bright blue eyes in a heated stare. He nodded quickly.

"Yessss," he answered. "I told you I'm not like any of your previous loversssss."

You shook your head. "But I'm so tired."

Mingi chuckled but shook his head this time. "But you don't have to do anything," he replied. You groaned as his cocks moved inside your walls. "Fine. You do all the work," you replied. "But make it quick."

Mingi let out another chuckle.

"Oh no. Y/N," he said with a devilish grin.

"We're not even clossssssse to being done yet."

You lost count of how many rounds Mingi lasted but when he finally laid you gently on the stone bed, you were more than exhausted. “As promissssssed,” he hissed, pulling the key from his hip. “The key.”

You sat up quickly and looked up as he handed you the key. “You better hurry and get out of here,” he added, giving you a mischievous grin. “Before I change my mind and keep you here forever.”

You quickly grabbed your clothes, lamenting silently over your ripped bra as you pulled your clothes on before grabbing your pack and leaving Charlie’s against the stone bed.

You glanced back as Mingi retreated into the shadows with Charlie’s corpse and you shuddered, remembering earlier you’d wondered what he ate.

You hurried back the way you came, keeping a firm hold on the key. As you ran down the steps in the main chamber you heard a clap of thunder overhead and continued to run as rain started to pour, water falling from the cutouts in the ceiling.

You finally found the hallway back to the adventure section and rushed down it, feet thudding against the stone and soon against the wood as the door came into view.

You threw the door open, slamming it behind you as your heart pounded. ‘Finally.’

You glanced up to the desk, eyes widening to find Seonghwa not sitting there. You hurried up the steps to the desk where the box sat on the top. Opening it you saw all the keys were still there. Carefully, you placed the other key beside them and looked around.

You saw no sign of the Keeper. ‘Where is he?’ you wondered as you looked around. You descended the steps, starting to walk around the room, looking between the shelves and even trying the doors but they wouldn’t budge.

Your eyes widened as you checked your watch. How much time had passed?

‘Has it been three days already?’

You let out a soft gasp.

‘Am I too late?’

#cultofdionysusnet #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez angst #ateez smut #ateez x reader #mingi scenarios #mingi imagines #mingi fanfic #mingi angst #mingi smut #mingi x reader #series: library of illusion

458 notes · View notes

cacoetheswriting · 1 year

Text

celebrity skin. (part two)

pairing: rockstar!eddie munson x popstar!fem!reader word count: 6.5k summary: your night with eddie continues to haunt you. and now you have to work together — what could go wrong?

content warnings: 18+, minors dni: smut with a plot, oral (fem receiving), aftercare, suggestive & mature themes, other mentions of sex (nothing graphic), adult language, use of pet names, mutual pining, emotional hurt / comfort, topics of guilt / regret — if i missed anything, pls let me know!

psa: images used in the header don’t depict readers physical attributes! these are also described vaguely in the story, only that she’s a little shorter than eddie.

celebrity skin. masterlist

Eddie Munson hurt your feelings.

Granted, you were just as much to blame. Rockstars are always nothing but trouble and you knew that when you jumped into bed with him.

‘Cause why would Eddie Munson be any different from all the other musicians you’d slept with in the past? He gave you no reason to think otherwise. He never promised you anything.

Letting him occupy your heart and mind after only one night together was your own damn fault, though it was easier to blame him. And you could make a list of excuses, reasons as to why you did what you did, but it really came down to one simple thing: Eddie seemed… different. Almost as if he also wanted to continue this past some single fling.

You asked to stay over. He immediately agreed.

Why? If he was only going to say the night meant nothing to him, why did he agree? Why did he pull you under the silk covers and wrap his arm around your bare shoulder, placing a gentle kiss to your crown? Why did he hold your hand close to his heart, allowing you to feel his heartbeat as he opened up about his past? Why did he let you trace your fingers along his scars?

If it was just about having sex with you, why did Eddie act like he cared what you thought of him? He could have kicked you out the second you came down to earth following your orgasm, not kiss you again with a feverness that made you believe he was silently begging for more — which foolishly, you gave him.

Then you didn’t call immediately, like you said you would. Again, only you were to blame here, but in your own defence, you didn’t think he’d act so coldly towards you. It was just one delayed phone call and he knew better than anyone how plans often change when you’re in the limelight.

Proof was in the pudding. Eddie didn’t like you nearly as much as he led you to believe he did — as much as you liked him.

And it was fucking foolish of you to fall for him the way you did. Holly thought so too. She actually had a lot of opinions after you told her why you bailed on her at the party.

“Boys are all the same,” she stated while applying the finishing touches to your makeup. “They have one thing on their mind and when they get it, no matter how sweet they act towards you, you’re unfortunately disposable.”

“Eddie doesn’t seem like that,” you defended, which only caused Holly to roll her eyes.

“Hate to be the one to break this to you, but Eddie Munson is exactly that type of guy.”

The cherry on top of this godforsaken mess was your Nana who somehow caught wind of your salacious activities with the Corroded Coffin frontman. She confronted you at her charity luncheon of all places and was actually the main reason you had called him with such a delay, meaning she was also partially to blame for how things turned out in the end.

“You’re not to go anywhere near that boy again,” it almost sounded like a threat. “He’s no good for you or your image. Can you imagine the news? America’s sweetheart canoodling with a devil worshipper. You would be ruined.”

“He’s not a devil worshipper—”

“I don’t want to hear you defending him,” your Nana interjected and looked around, probably to make sure no one was listening in on the conversation. “Honey, I’m just trying to protect you. You’re still a little young to understand just how long our mistakes can follow us around for.”

“Right,” you scoffed, “But I guess you have experience in this area.” And with that you walked away. She didn’t follow.

A few days later, after your brief conversation with Eddie, you showed up at her apartment with tears in your eyes, repeating how she was right — not necessarily the devil worship stuff, just the “not being good for you” piece.

Mid-September 1992, Eddie was supposed to be in New York with his band to perform on Saturday Night Live. He told you that in between trailing kisses down your jawline: “Just in case it’s hard for us to find time to see together,” where his exact words, “This one is a guarantee.”.

You half-debated going to the after party. It wouldn’t be hard to get your name on the guest list, just one simple call from your management team. You even knew what you could wear. Chanel had sent you this gorgeous little black blazer-dress from their Fall 1991 collection, gold buttons at the front creating a v-neck that perfectly accentuated your chest. It was tame enough to keep in style with your image, but bold enough to hail the attention of the Corroded Coffin frontman.

As you stared at the dress however, you knew going would be a mistake. He’d likely view it as an act of despair and the last thing you wanted to do is give him any more power in this situation. So you opted to watch the show from the comfort of your own sofa. Your younger sister Valentine, named after the most romantic day of the year (according to your parents), Val for short, came over to watch with you.

Turns out Val is a big Corroded Coffin fan. Luckily, she remains blissfully unaware of what had gone down between you and the lead singer of her favourite band.

Val ended up being the person who pushed you to do the feature on Corroded Coffin’s upcoming single. She is the person who actually got you to listen to the demo in the first place.

The opportunity first presented itself around January of 1993. After weeks of trying to forget about Eddie Munson, and the way his touch made you feel, your team flushed all that hard work down the toilet in one short meeting. They presented an idea you really wanted no part of — a quick feature that was gonna cost nothing, but make you (and them) five times as much, if not more.

Your initial reaction was a plain and simple no. You had brushed it off as their music not being within your wheelhouse and for a second, they agreed. Only Val had come to the meeting with you. She was only supposed to be a silent observer and take notes for her Business Management module. Of course, she didn’t listen.

“Oh my god! Your voice blended with Eddie Munson’s would make for an automatic hit,” she exclaimed and you swore then you were going to kill her.

“Their sound is just not my thing,” you explained calmly.

“At least listen to the demo before you make any final decisions,” Val reasoned, earning herself nods and yeses from your management team.

Losing the battle, you made your way to the nearest empty recording room with the CD in hand. Knowing this was already hard enough, you asked to go alone. Val was the only one to put up any sort of fight, but older sister rules and she quickly changed her tune.

When the first few notes began to play through the speakers, you felt gratified because the song was totally opposite of what your fanbase enjoyed — just like you rationalised. However, then the melody slowed down. The heavy guitar from the intro was instead replaced by a more acoustic sound, and the loud drums, reduced to a simple beat. They were a mere decoration to the main event. Eddie and his hypnotic vocals.

“Honestly, you got me fallin’ to my knees It’s like ecstasy, this feelin’ inside of me Let’s call it honesty

You’re a devil in disguise No, that’s what I want you to be ‘Cause in reality, hon’, you’re a hypnotic dream An angel for sure To a non-believer like me Oh honesty, what have you done to me, honestly”

You’re not sure at which point of listening to the demo you started to cry, but you did. The tears are slow, trailing down your cheeks as you clutch the empty CD case tight to your chest.

Was it egotistical to think he’d written this song about you? Most definitely. Yet the sheer emotion in Eddie’s voice, not to even mention the lyrics themselves, made it quite hard to say otherwise.

“Why do they want me?” You asked once you had returned to the room, after listening to the demo three times in a row and taking an additional ten minutes to compose yourself. “They can have any female singer on this, why me?”

“The request came from someone above the band.”

It wasn’t the answer you had secretly hoped for, but you agreed to do the feature nonetheless. There was no denying, the track had huge hit potential, especially as a duet. And Val was right, your vocals mixed with Eddie’s were going to make history. Your reasons for saying yes, however, were a little different. You really just needed to be a hundred percent sure Eddie wrote this song about you.

March 1993 and the day you’d been stressing about since you agreed to do the song had finally arrived.

You had put on the most comfortable yet sexy outfit you could find and done your makeup differently to what Eddie would have seen you in. sprayed on some rose-scented perfume and plastered on a big smile, the fakest sincere shit you had become quite the expert at over the years — your trademark.

The band's manager, Marianne, greeted you on arrival. Holly and your bodyguard, Hank, had come with you to the recording session. You asked Holly to be there as emotional support and Hank was there just to get his paycheck. Either way, you were quite glad not to be facing this alone.

Everything’s fine, you told yourself as you followed Marianne across the building and to a studio where the producer and a handful of sound technicians were waiting for you. Finn, Jane, Kit, and Gavin — in no particular order of importance, their own words. Happy to be working with you, can’t wait to make some magic, big fans of your work, etc. You just smiled. Then Marianne opened the door to the room behind the sound-proof glass and a shiver ran down your spine once you walked through.

Although you did your best to not look his way, Eddie’s presence was instantly known to your senses. As though no one else was ever here, all you could feel was his eyes on you and it caused your heart to rattle inside your ribcage. The sheer fact of being in the same room as him again, after all this time apart, was infuriating yet exciting at the same time. You wondered what he was thinking, was he happy to see you? Surprised? Annoyed?

Holly was on your heels, saying her charming hello’s to everyone you had just introduced yourself to. She actually met Jeff at Eddie’s party so the two of them hugged like old pals and within a split-second, they were off to the side, catching up. You lost your protector quite possibly at the worst time.

“And our frontman, Eddie Munson.” Marianne introduced, one hand hovering over your back while the other extended in the direction of the curly-haired man,

You focused your attention on her arm, refusing to look up and meet Eddie’s chocolate gaze. From the corner of your eyes, you could see as he wiped his palms on the pleather of his pants and held out his right hand in your direction. You glanced at it briefly, the smile on your face faltering.

Suddenly, he was right there. Right at your fingertips. Just take his hand, you thought to yourself, it’s not that big a deal, just take his hand and look at him.

“We’ve met before,” you said with little to no emotion, and without meeting his gaze, then quickly turned to Marianne. “Should we just get started? I listened to the song, I have no notes, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

Marianne seemed to be taken aback by your abrupt change in attitude. She glanced at Eddie then back at you. “Uhm, yeah, sure. Of course. Right this way.”

The two of you silently left Eddie’s side, though you continued to feel his eyes burning into your frame. This whole situation was honestly nauseating. Not only were you forced to face the memories of this one magical night you shared with the famous rockstar, you were also about to sing a duet together, a song he most likely wrote about said night. All while pretending you don’t care about him or the night in question.

Marianne propped you in front of a microphone and handed you a set of headphones and shortly after the band had taken their places. You glanced across the room at Holly who gave you an encouraging thumbs up before hurrying out to re-join Finn, Jane, Kit, Gavin, and your bodyguard, Hank.

Your heart was hammering inside your chest. This was so beyond fucked, you almost wished it wasn’t too late to back out. The only thing making this just a little bit worth it was Eddie’s clear discomfort. He was the last to take his place at the microphone placed only a feet away from yours, his movements reluctant. You still refused to look at him, focusing instead on the carpet between your feet, hands now on your hips.

“You know what I’m gonna say,” Marianne’s voice echoed through the room, “The day I don’t say it though is gonna be the day we make a shit piece of art so, here goes, good luck and have fun.”

An unsettling silence filled the air as soon as she closed the door behind her.

You weren’t sure how their band sessions really went, who took the lead and who followed. You hoped someone would speak so you wouldn’t be the first, but no one did. Eddie’s eyes were burning into the side of your head. At this point you were starting to think the universe was playing some sick joke on you. So you glanced upwards, first behind the glass to where you located Holly who gave you another thumbs up, and then you tilted your head in the direction of the man next to you.

You exhaled softly and leaned in closer to the microphone before saying, “Honesty, take one.”

Eddie had thought about you every single day since that fateful night in August. The memory of you, your smile, the colour of your eyes, how you felt to the touch, the pretty sounds you made just for him, it had occupied his mind permanently. And he tried to get over you, really, but nothing seemed to do the trick. Not the drinking, not the weed, not losing himself in music, not even hooking up with strangers after the bands’ shows.

He was a goner, yet too fucking stubborn to call or try contact you in any way.

But now here you are, a mere arms-length away, and you’re singing the song he wrote about you, harmonising with little to no effort as you stare right into his big eyes. Eddie is staring back at you, holding your gaze ‘cause he’s afraid if he’d look away, you’d never look at him again. He wants to know what you’re thinking. He’s trying to decipher the angry sadness behind your eyes. Not like he deserves anything from you, but he wants to know how you’ve been. Most importantly, he wants to know if you even like the song?

“Okay,” Marianne pops her head in as the track ends, “Let’s break for lunch.”

Everyone starts to gather whatever they might need for the next hour — bag, bottled water, smokes — before following Marianne out of the recording studio. You’re still staring at Eddie and he’s thinking now’s his chance to talk to you. However, just as he’s about to open his mouth to start perhaps the most awkward conversation, you drop his gaze and hurry out the door.

“Shit,” the curly-haired rockstar curses under his breath then proceeds to follow you down the long hallway until you disappear into the ladies toilets. “Shit,” Eddie swears again as the door closes in front of his face. He runs a hand through his locks, debating whether he should continue his chase, though, eventually, he decides going inside would be a total breach of privacy. Instead, he leans across from the entrance, lights a cigarette, and waits. You’re bound to return at some point and when you do, he’s going to be here and you would have to talk to him.

Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait long.

The door opens slowly and you emerge, wiping your hands on your denim skirt. Attention solely on fixing your outfit, it takes you a second to realise Eddie’s there ‘cause honestly you didn’t even know he followed you. As you take a step forward and his worn-out converse sneakers come into view, you swallow.

Closing your eyes momentarily, a desperate attempt at some kind of composure in this situation. Ultimately, there’s no use in continuing this childish game of cat and mouse so you gaze upon him.

“Hi Eddie,” you say with all the confidence you can muster.

He exhales a puff of smoke, then replies, “Hey, sweetheart.”

Your heart aches at the moniker and you can’t help but wonder if it’s a nickname solely reserved for you, or if he goes around calling everybody he sleeps with. After all, with the way things turned out to be, you were simply a number on his undoubtedly long list of conquests. You weren’t special.

“It’s nice to see you,” Eddie admits, though his words only twist the imaginary dagger he had jabbed into your heart. “You look… great.”

This makes you roll your eyes. Truthfully, you didn’t have high expectations for your first conversation with the Corroded Coffin frontman, but there was something about him casually flirting as if nothing had happened, that made your blood boil.

“Fuck you, Eddie.”

He’s taken aback by your words and the harshness behind them. Obviously he messed up, treated you with an indifference no one deserves to experience, especially someone with a heart as pure as yours. To hear you say that though, mixed with the pure agony behind your eyes, it makes him feel sick.

About to walk away, you turn on your heel. Eddie puts out the half-finished cigarette against the wall, letting the bud drop to the floor, and reaches out to grab your arm. Surprisingly, you don’t flinch at his touch, not at first anyway, which gives him enough time to step in front of you and lift his hands to cup your cheeks.

“Sweetheart…” Eddie begins in a whisper, thumbs caressing along your cheekbones. Your skin is softer than he remembers and it only makes his heart ache more, mournful for the time lost.

“Let me go,” you plead quietly and shake your head, fingers attaching themselves to his wrists, digging at the dips in his knuckles and the valleys of space where his hold met yours, in an attempt to separate the two of you.

Eddie doesn’t budge. He’s stood firm as you claw at him, trying to break free from his grasp. If anything, he inclines closer and in the space of a single heartbeat, you can feel his hot breath as he dips his head to your level, forcing you to meet his gaze. There’s a sense of despair behind his brown eyes and you almost stop fighting.

Almost.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Okay? Is that what you wanna hear?”

His words, although an apology, didn’t sound like one. To you, it seemed like Eddie wasn’t actually sorry for his actions, he just hated the fact that you were giving him the cold shoulder. He wanted to be in your good graces not ‘cause your night meant something to him, but because he had a bruised ego. A cruel joke really.

So you clear your throat and call on the only person guaranteed to get you away from his situation.

“Hank,” there’s very little power behind your voice and Eddie furrows his brows a little confused at first, but then you move your head to the best of your current ability past Eddie’s shoulder and say his name louder, “Hank!”

“Please—”

“Hank!”

Eddie drops his hold on you then and runs a hand down his face as you take a single step forward, arm brushing against his a little too steadily to be called an accident. Seconds pass and neither of you moves, each staring in a separate direction while your bodies continue to press together. Eddie extends his fingers. You feel the metal of his rings and the air hitches in your throat.

How come one second you cannot wait to get away from him and the next you’re aching for his touch? One second you’re pushing him away and the next your fingers are intertwining themselves with his. It was fucking messed up, hating him yet caring for him at the same time, and you didn’t want to feel this way anymore.

When your army-veteran bodyguard appears at the end of the hall, you snatch your hand away from Eddie’s grasp and plaster a fake smile on your face.

“Everything okay, miss?” Hank asks, glancing between the two of you.

“Can you call the car? I’m not feeling well.”

He nods. “Right away.” Then disappears just as fast as he rushed to your aid.

You’re once again left alone with Eddie. Only this time, the Corroded Coffin frontman makes no attempt to reach out for you. Instead, he slides his hands in the pocket of his jacket and tilts his head in your direction. You can see him from the corner of your eyes and it takes all the strength you have to not look his way.

“I am sorry,” he says in a defeated tone, “Whether you choose to believe me or not.”

With that, he walks away.

The world hadn’t stopped spinning since your earlier interaction with the Corroded Coffin frontman.

You felt sick while recounting the moment on loop. The sad look in his eyes, the defeated sound of his voice. His body language was screaming I wanna be closer to you, unfortunately, you couldn’t figure out if he was being sincere, if this whole situation really weighed on him as deeply as it did you.

Holly had berated you for even indulging in a conversation with him, to which you huffed and puffed ‘cause she’s the one who left you alone in the first place for “not-a-date” lunch with Jeff.

“Hope you at least got some,” you tease, rummaging through your half-unpacked suitcase for the box of smokes you carefully hid in there, for emergency situations only.

Holly laughs from her spot on the sofa. You can’t see her face, but you can tell she’s smiling. “Shut the fuck up,” she deflects with a giggle, “We went for some friendly burgers. I wasn’t looking for anything else.”

“Was Jeff?” You quip, placing a cigarette between your lips and reaching for the ashtray. You carry the item towards one of the hotel windows before lighting the tip, slowly inhaling.

“You’re unbearable, you know that?” Holly jests, shifting in her spot to look at you. “Just ‘cause you’re sexually frustrated.”

You smirk, exhaling some smoke. “What gave you that idea?”

Holly raises a brow, an amused look spread across her face, and points to the cigarette you’re holding onto. Before she can make her point of you only smoking when you’re stressed or craving some action — and in this instance, it’s clearly both — there’s a knock on the door. The two of you glance in its direction then back at each other.

“Where you expecting—”

“No,” you answer before Holly can finish her question, “You?”

She shakes her head in response. There’s another knock, louder this time. You quickly put the cigarette out and waved the curtain around, your best attempt to somewhat ventilate just in case this was a surprise visit from your Nana who, despite being a heavy smoker herself, would kill you for indulging in the cancer sticks.

While you spray some perfume on, Holly walks towards the door. She shoots you one last glance, making sure you were presentable for whoever was on the other side of that door, then opens to reveal someone you both were least expecting.

Eddie fucking Munson.

“Oh,” he breathes, brows up, “I didn’t think—”

“What are you doing here, Munson?” Holly interrupts, holding onto the door so he knew he wasn’t welcome inside.

“Shit, if you just let me finish.” Eddie grumbles back. “I didn’t think anyone else would be here. I came to see her.” He looks at you then and your heart twists the second your eyes meet his.

Holly tilts her head in your direction and a sigh escapes her lips. There’s a reason she’s your closest friend. She can read you like a book and the expression on your face right now, gaze not leaving Eddie’s even for a second, is telling her to let the rockstar in — whether she agrees with that or not.

So she drops her arm and pushes the door wider before stepping to the side. Eddie looks at her then back at you. He walks inside, not wanting to waste this opportunity since he didn’t know how long it would last, as Holly approaches you. The girl places her hands on your cheeks, forcing you to focus on her just for a moment.

“If you need me, I’m right next door, ‘kay?” Holly whispers and you nod. “Shout, scream, do whatever. I’ll come runnin’. I’m here for you, this time.”

“Thanks, honey.”

“Always,” Holly affirms then lets go of you. She straightens her top before turning around and walking back to where Eddie stood with his hands in his pockets. She sizes up the curly-haired man, but doesn’t say anything. Instead, she shuts the door with a timid bang.

Silence settles in the air. Once again, it’s just you and Eddie staring at one another with immense longing yet sadness. Only, unlike earlier today, you don’t want to run away.

There are approximately three pieces of furniture between the two of you and the longer he continues to look at you with his doe-eyes, you’re calculating how exactly to manoeuvre around them to hug him, putting an end to this entire charade.

Something is still holding you back, however.

“What are you doing here, Eddie?”

He swallows and proceeds to hesitantly walk towards you, past the sofas you were debating jumping over mere seconds ago. He stops about an arms-length away, careful not to totally invade your personal space in fear of you pulling away again. Instead, he leans against the back of one of the couches and tilts his head to the side.

“What do you think of my song?”

You furrow your brows. “What?”

“Do you like it?” Eddie asks, but doesn’t give you enough time to answer, “I’m thinking you do since you agreed to be on it, but then again maybe you don’t and your reason for doing the feature is to mess with my fucking head.” His fingers are at his temple, pointing to emphasise his words.

There’s an ache in your chest. “You really think that low of me?”

Eddie’s face falls at the deflated tone of your voice and he’s cursing himself for hurting your feelings again. He didn’t mean to. Word vomit, is how his uncle Wayne described it back when Eddie was still living in Hawkins, it’s as though Eddie’s mouth and brain didn’t connect.

He sighs, running a hand through his locks. “I gotta get something off my chest, just in case you kick me out and we never get a chance another to talk alone,” he says then takes in a deep breath, “You probably don’t wanna hear this, and you probably won’t even believe me, but I genuinely cannot stop thinking about you.”

Your face softens at his confession, though you remain in place, arms crossed.

Eddie continues. “And I’ve never experienced that with anyone. I certainly didn’t expect to feel these things for you, especially after spending only one night together. Which is why I acted like a dick when you called. I was hurt that you hadn’t reached out sooner considering how near perfect that night was.”

A timid smile circles your features. Briefly, you’re cursing yourself for giving in to his charm so easily. Very briefly.

“Mr. Rock ‘n’ Roll isn’t used to having someone else’s life take priority over his, huh?”

That’s when Eddie laughs, and the second the melodic chuckle falls from his lips, you drop your arms and take a step towards him. Your fingers reach for his instinctively and he takes your hand gladly, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Totally not, no.” He admits. “But I am willing to change.”

“Hmm,” you hum, lifting your other hand to brush a loose strand of his brown locks away from his face. “Hope you’re a man of your word ‘cause I’m booked and busy. Can’t have you throw a fit every time I don’t call you.”

The smile on Eddie’s face widens. His right arm makes its way around your waist and he pulls you in, effectively closing the gap between you. His gaze drops to your lips, if only for a split second as he licks his own, then meets your eyes once again.

“I wanna do this right,” he mutters, his grip on you tightening. “I don’t want us to just jump the gun again and leave things lost in translation, so before we do anything else, I’d like to take you on a date, sweetheart.”

Your heart skips a beat ‘cause who knew Eddie Munson was such a damn romantic — definitely not you.

“And where would we go on this date?” You muse, “Since we can’t really blend in with a crowd.”

Eddie purses his lips together, pondering your question. He lets go of you and places his hands on his hips as he walks around the room. You’re following him with your gaze, the smile ever-present. Then his eyes twinkle.

“Well, how about right here, baby? We can order some room service and watch MTV in bed.” The rockstar announces, pointing to the California King and wiggling his brows.

So that’s exactly what the two of you do.

With a tray of overpriced hotel food between you and the current top tracks blasting through the television speakers, the evening was perhaps the most normal you both have felt in a really long time. Eddie, of course, gave his opinion on every song that played in the countdown while stuffing his face with french fries. Most were unsurprising, like Whitney Houston’s I WIll Always Love You, well Dolly Parton’s is miles better in his humble opinion, or Bon Jovi’s Bed of Roses, the guitar makes the song. Then came number three on the list.

You visibly grimace while moving the now empty tray to the floor beside the bed and Eddie chuckles lightly.

“Not a fan of your own music?”

Shaking your head, you sit back although closer to him since there was no longer anything between you. “Just not my best song, is all.”

Eddie nods, resting his hand on your thigh and turns his attention back to the TV. Suddenly, you’re feeling nervous. For one, he’s touching you, thumb gently rubbing circles into your bare flesh. Then there was the music video which, as you glanced at him from the corner of your eye, Eddie seemed to be totally hypnotised by.

And full transparency, he was. How could he not be? It was a one-shot type video of you singing while walking down the street as it poured rain. The outfit you had on was sticking to your skin as a result, hair wet and makeup smudged. Raw, is the first word that came to Eddie’s mind. Not to mention completely different from your usual vibe.

“You gotta give yourself more credit, sweetheart.” Eddie says after a minute and tilts his head to look at you. “Personally, I like this a lot more than your other shit.”

You meet his gaze. “You don’t think it’s too… desperate? Like yeah, the song is making rounds and charting in all sorts of places, but it’s so—”

“It’s about me, isn’t it?” He interrupts, scanning your eyes for the answer he already knows.

“Yeah…” You exhale. “Like I said, desperate.”

He squeezes your thigh before effortlessly throwing your legs across his lap and pulling you in even closer. One hand remains in your lap while the other makes way around your lower back, settling on the curve of your ass — all without breaking eye contact.

“There’s nothing desperate about you, sweetheart.” He mutters, face now inches away from yours. “I wrote a song too, remember? One we’re actually performing together, which is arguably way worse.”

That makes you chuckle lightheartedly as Eddie continues, “Plus, you look fucking hot in that music video. Anybody that says differently is stupid and/or blind. If anything, I’m glad I inspired all that.” His voice fizzles into something darker for the end of that sentence while his eyes snap to your mouth.

You can feel him under your legs as he presses his forehead to yours, all of him. It doesn’t help that he’s so pretty from this angle. The curve of his jawline. The dips in his cheeks. His doe-eyes focused solely on yours, dimming by the second with longing. And just like that, almost as if no time had passed, you’re back where you both started. Hearts beating in tandem. Eagerly waiting with anticipation for the other to make the first move.

“I really wanna do this right, baby.” He repeats his earlier statement, but the way he brushes his thumb across your bottom lip, dragging it down till it bounces back gently in place, betrays his words.

“We don’t have to do anything right now.” And although you mean it, you hope he doesn’t give up too easily.

Eddie exhales. Eyes closing momentarily. He’s fighting every urge ‘cause he doesn’t want to fuck this up again. For once in his life, he wants to see where things can go. But the feeling of your skin, the smell of your perfume, and the memory of you moaning his name so sweetly, well it’s got his heart racing and his dick harder.

The hand on your thigh tightening in grip, causing you to whimper delicately. And that’s when he loses the internal battle.

“Fuck it.”

He wastes no more time, slamming his lips to yours in an eager sloppy kiss. You immediately kiss him back, hands settling on his neck, nails digging into the sensitive skin. He’s groaning against your mouth at the contact, pushing into you further so that you can feel his cock twitch against your leg. And you’re convinced that if you were standing, it would make your knees buckle.

Heads rotating side to side, nose grazing against one another with each wet kiss, Eddie adjusts your positions so that you were now fully resting on your back as he lingered over you. One of his hands was now on your waist, holding you firmly in place as he starts to grind his hips into yours.

“Eddie…” You moan against his puffy lips.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good, pretty girl.” Eddie affirms quietly, trailing hot kisses from the dip of your lips down your jaw. And he desperately wants to stay true to his word so before you get a chance to react, he’s removing your underwear then slides down until his head is between your thighs.

You let out a tender giggle as his facial hair grazes against your skin. Eddie shushes you and after adjusting your skirt for easier access, he begins to place kisses along your inner thigh, drawing closer and closer to his desired destination. Aching for his touch, you tangle your fingers in his hair and tug at his curls. He smirks against your flesh and proceeds to spread your lips with his fingertips, revealing how wet you truly are, then blows several cool breaths over your hot clit.

He proceeds to gently slide his tongue up and down your pussy, so slowly, you feel every moment of pleasure. Then he flicks his tongue over your clit, sucking and licking the sensitive area until you’re a panting mess. And when you moan his name, Eddie works a little faster. Then continues to increase his speed as his tongue darts in and out of your dripping cunt.

Just when you think you’re on cloud nine, he forces two fingers into you, his lips focusing on your clit. They arch up to reach that sweet spot he didn’t have a hard time finding the last time and you clasp your hand across your mouth, muffling a scream. He’s relentless in his movements and you find yourself grinding into his face, meeting the pace he’s set with overwhelming frenzy.

Faster and faster, his tongue licks up and down, spreading your pussy lips further as his fingers dig deep within your cunt, sending you over the edge with every thrust. Your legs start to shake and thighs clasp hard against his head, trapping him in place, while he continues to sucking till you go limp.

It takes you a moment to recover and Eddie’s feeling mighty proud as he places a tender kiss to your cheekbone before moving to your mouth. You can taste yourself on his lips and it’s enough to drive you crazy all over again.

But Eddie’s got other plans. He’s decided this night is all about you, so despite the desperate hard-on currently concealed by his trousers, he cleans you up before asking where you keep your pyjamas. Your heart soars as he helps you get changed and eventually settled under the covers.

“Stay with me.” It’s a request he’s happy to oblige. Throwing off his t-shirt and jeans, he joins you in bed briskly. The two of you fall asleep shortly after that, MTV still playing in the background. As first dates go, this one was pretty perfect and you were starting to feel like everything with Eddie was going to be this way.

Unfortunately, the serene moment was short lived, which, in hindsight, you should’ve known people of yours and Eddie’s stature weren’t privy to normality.

The following morning, you were both abruptly woken up by a frantic Holly. She doesn’t say anything about Eddie being in your bed, for which you’re grateful, just chucks a newspaper into your lap while you wipe the sleep from your eyes.

Slowly, you sit up then reach for the paper. Glancing between your friend and the guy in your bed, you unfold it. Eddie rests his chin on your shoulder and you both focus on the front page.

“Shit,” he expresses exactly how you’re feeling at that moment ‘cause gracing the front page, with a rather raunchy headline, is a photo, taken yesterday, of the Corroded Coffin frontman towering over you, his hands cupping your face.

#celebrity skin.#rockstar!eddie #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson story #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x female!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut

696 notes · View notes

lucabyte · 6 days

Note

obligatory ramble about postcanon loop ask

also your art is amazing

Hiiiiiiiii :D thank you :)!!

and thank you for the excuse to post the. just absolute wall of text that i truncated down to form the tags of that post. (i did,,, hit the tag limit. i forgot tumblr had one of those...) so let me just paste that and tidy it up a bit...

I am putting this under a readmore because it's a bit long. but:

This is like. The General Context for all* of my postcanon doodles? (Except AUs obviously) Like this is the base idea I've been drawing them all in. So, feel free to backread with this in mind. I've basically had this 'postcanon' timeline set in my brain since finishing the game...

My general thoughts are that I like the idea of Loop (even if through dubiously ethical means) being able to slowly reintegrate with the party as a whole new person, because they are, in fact, their own person.

It's a muddle of thematic threads im pulling on and "wouldn't it be fucked up if", but. (at its core, it's powered by the fact that like, while narratively isat's theme of 'the only person who can truly take the first step to help you is yourself'. (wrt: loop helping the party help siffrin in act 5) which i LOVE AND IS GREAT NARRATIVELY…. would be super fucked up irl to learn that your friend 'learned as a lesson' while you stood by kinda uselessly. I know i'd be upset about it. but thats mostly background here. doesn't really come up. at least not until loop has to explain who they are and the party realises they had to fall back on literally themselves again for help, but i digress,)

The real core concept is: Occam's razor. It is like, inherently, a buckwild thing to accuse a person of being somehow a clone or copy of your friend. Even if they start vaguely alluding to a backstory it's far more likely they were some other person before all that. (I still think Odile has that theory in the back pocket but she's rational enough to know it's a really long shot without a solid explanation. and i think Loop deep down knows this, and would, if cornered into confessing, turn the situation around to go J'ACCUSE and make HER explain it instead. Ever longer dodging being direct with their emotions...)

And the party are nice! And if someone has changed and wants to keep stuff secret it's kind of not their business? (Though it's hard not to speculate… see: the main joke of the doodles) And they seem important to Siffrin so they just try to accept them abrasive quirks and all. And eventually the question of their prior identity just fades away since, well, they're Loop. Their friend Loop.

but yeah. personal headcanon is that a few months/weeks after picking up and getting aquainted with Nille** (since that was presumably the IMMEDIATE TASK postgame), Loop reappears (either after a literal period of nonexistance, or just spending a few months wandering the french countryside alone being attacked by wild dogs). Since Siffrin has had a while to be therapised by the party they're doing mostly okay, but Loop showing up and still being agitated/aggressive pulls them both into a bit of a backslide behaviourally and puts the party on the back foot again.

Hooowever, I do think that due to no longer being literally stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time together, the two do mostly actually sort themselves out with productive conversation. (Via a cycle of: genuinely distressing argument -> weeeird lovebombing -> ok we're good -> repeat, that gets less intense over time)

Thus, allowing the party to just. Integrate loop as a new person. They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches (Loop taking over stuff Siffrin is now too squeamish for, etc (see: hunting, mostly)), and while it's not exactly what Loop wanted they generally get that beggars can't be choosers and it's a pretty good deal. And the rest of the party does straight up just like them as a friend, especially when Loop quits trying to actively antagonise them after a few weeks of being around them, since they just can't keep up being mean to people they like forever.

As for how I think the truth eventually drags itself out. This is where I invoke The Isabeau Torment Nexus™. So its gonna get shippy here for a bit hold on.

Which is, I think giving them time before Loop reappears long enough that Siffrin and Iseabeau actually manage to become established, Isabeau has to be the one to nudge the pair of them and go. "Hey. You know we're in Vaugarde right. I'm okay with polyamory if we all communicate." Before Loop and Siffrin actually even acknowledge that whatever the fuck they have going on kinda looks a lot like a relationship of some kind. (or have already been agonising about that via fighting and arguing, depending) (Obviously this comes after Isa "Emotionally intelligent enough to keep a lid on the jealousy" Beau has managed to use that big brain of his to Not just go Scream somewhere on the daily because oh godddd they keep talking like theyre suicide-baiting each other jesus chriiist. is it overstepping his boundaries to bring that up?? god)

This, taking a bunch of the tension out of Loop and Isabeau's relationship (Since I imagine Loop is a. being weird for the obvious reasons and b. feeling kinda guilty about 'getting in the way of' Siffrin and Iseabeau), allows them to actually get close in a normal friend way. (I think an interesting turning point could be Isabeau actually taking Loop's side in an argument vs Siffrin, which would absolutely break Loop's brain. Especially if it's an argument that matters. Like what do you mean he isn't just going to play favourites. What?)

Then Isabeau, just actually open minded and charmed by Loop (and maybe even somewhat at Siffrin's suggestion?) tries to close the final open side on the polyamory triangle here and that's the final straw for Loop on "This lie by omission is too unethical to keep up, this is just actually sick and wrong. I can't do this while he doesn't know who I am." Though. Obviously it probably goes. Very poorly with emotions high like that. And the added element of several months of deceit. Getting dark here for a second but that dagger is going MISSING and so are THEY for a hot minute.

Then yaaay everything works out in the end 👍 yippieee!! all it took was maybe a lot of harrowed recontextualisation of all the weird shit your new friend said and did when it turns out they're your old friend. It's fine.

But yeah. this is basically the context all of my postcanon doodles have existed within? And those exist to give other people something to chew on. So this does too.

I suppose TL;DR: Imagine if sloopis almost fucking happens before isabeau knows who loop is. can you fucking imagine. can you imagine having to navigate that. nightmare.

*Yes this includes the implied cannibalism comic. Uhh. Comes part and parcel with headcanoning that Loop went way off the deep end similar to A5 Sif But Maybe Worse before giving in. Add weepy half-asleep confessions to murder wherever you see fit in your mind palace. 👍👍👍

**Re: Nille footnote. I don't have anywhere to put this besides here! I have some thoughts on Loop and Nille having an odd dynamic. I don't imagine Nille to be super gung-ho on trusting a bunch of adults (even if they are majority around her age) given their implied backstory. It's probably a big shock to the system, especially since Bambouche is a good couple hundred Kilometers up north from Dormont and these guys don't seem to have trains. She would've been unfrozen and without Bonnie for some time....

Which is to say: I think she's suspicious of them. I think she may be looking for excuses to distance herself, keep Bonnie safe. SO.... A new guy showing up? And antagonising the party? What do they know that I don't...? I should find out.

And since... Loop didn't ever know Nille, they have no ammunition or real reason to be cruel. Plus, if they're trying to stay on Bonnie's good side (SINCE... if Bonnie thought Loop was cringe they may as well kill themselves. In their mind.) they SUPER have no reason to antagonise Nille.

Mostly, they might be able to open up to each other easier than they can the rest of the party?

I feel like this resolves with Loop feeling compelled to apologise for what they and Siffrin let happen to Bonnie, though... Hmm... Depends on how you interpret Nille that they'd be glad nobody else had been told about that yet, or furious it had been secret this long. I lean toward the former.

#PHEW THIS IS LONG. i wrote some extra footnotes and tidied it up a bit. but uh. here you go! my personal headcanon baseline for postcanon.#i could probably elaborate more but that would get unwieldy. like i have opinions on loop's dynamics w each party member but. LONG POST...#lucabytetalks #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #isat loop #isiloop #sloopis #WONT be tagging everyone thats absurd. loop centric post though with a chunk about nille at the end #isat act 6 spoilers

114 notes · View notes

mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 5 months

Text

Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 27

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo X OFC

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Warnings: Discussions about intimate partner violence, suicidal ideation, mental health struggles, drug abuse, and alcohol abuse.

Chapter Quote: "I got to snuggle some baby goats."

It took everything in me to hold back the sob that threatened to escape the instant I heard Dieter’s voice. I momentarily placed my hand over my mouth to hold it in and compose myself. I let out a shaky breath as I tried to find my voice.

“Dieter?”

I could hear his stuttered breathing on the other end of the line. He sounded like he was battling with his emotions too.

He cleared his throat, “Yeah… it’s me.”

I sighed loudly into the phone as the tears started to slide down my face. I felt like my brain had completely shut down on me, unsure of what to say but also feeling the urge to say everything all at once. It was so overwhelming but also awkward since we had not talked in so long. There were still so many things up in the air between us.

“How’ve you been?” He asked, sounding unsure of himself. I felt like he didn’t know what to say either.

I sniffed loudly as I wiped at my face, “Umm, I’ve been ok. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling good. Normal, I think…then again…I’m not sure I really know what normal is,” we both laughed nervously.

“I’m feeling better than I have in a long time. I can confidently say that at least,” he added.

I smiled. It was nice to know that he was feeling better. It helped dampen some of the worry I had been feeling.

“How are things going, otherwise?”

“Well, I got to snuggle some baby goats during group therapy this morning. I kinda want one now.” He sounded unabashed about this revelation.

“Of course you do,” I said in response, shaking my head and chuckling at the thought.

“I gotta new roommate two weeks ago…Gordon is his name. He’s an interesting guy…he uhhh…” he stifled a laugh before continuing. “He said he came here because the wall outlets were talking to him. Like, full conversations. They finally stopped after he got his meds sorted out. Made me feel a little better about my issues.”

I was a little dumbfounded, “Ummm, I’m not sure if I should laugh about that or not…” Dieter snickered, “He jokes about it now, so I think it’s ok.”

It felt good to hear him laughing again. I had missed that sound more than I realized. I really missed his voice in general. He sounded different. Better, lighter almost. It was a sound I wanted to commit to memory.

“Umm…so Gabby said you didn’t take that job offer?” His nervousness had returned with that question.

“No, I turned it down.” I started rubbing at my shoulder with my free hand as I moved to sit down at the kitchen table.

“Why? It sounded like an amazing opportunity”

I sighed, now rubbing at the crease between my brows, “It was, but it’s not where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. I would’ve had to give up too much and I don’t feel like I’m in the right headspace to do that.”

“I hope it wasn’t because of me…”

“No. I mean, I guess I can’t say no. You’re part of it…but my life is here. I can’t leave Lauren or even Gabby and Alex at this point. We’ve all gotten so close. And like I said, I’m not in the right headspace for that. I would’ve been spending a lotta time alone and I don’t wanna do that right now. It just wasn’t where I felt like I should be. I didn’t feel any kind of excitement over it at all, so I turned it down”

I suddenly felt vulnerable revealing that to him, questioning if I should have. I didn’t want him to worry about me when he needed to be focusing on himself.

“Are you sure you’re doing ok?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me, I promise. I’m just…I-” I huffed, shaking my head. I wasn’t sure if it was ok to finish that thought. I didn’t want to make any assumptions about how he was feeling or make an ass of myself.

I heard him chuckle quietly over my flustered response, “I miss you too.”

I was instantly calmed by his words, my anxiety about where we stood easing some. I let out a shy laugh at his declaration, tears still running down my face as I sniffled out, “You do?”

“Of course, I do, so fucking much… I - I’m sorry I haven't called you. I wanted to make sure I had a clear head when I did, and then I didn’t really know what to say after everything that happened.”

I heard him inhale sharply before he spoke up again, there was a tapping noise, like he was drumming his fingers against something.

“Listen, I’ve only got a few minutes left before they cut me off for today, but the reason I called…”

He paused, clearing his throat nervously, “Umm, so I wanted to see if you would be willing to come here and do a session with my psychiatrist and me…”

“Of course, when?”

“Whenever you can. Just uhh, call my case worker and she’ll get it scheduled.”

I could hear him shuffle around before he started cursing under his breath.

“Well, I was gonna give you the number but now I can’t find it...Gabby should have it.”

I couldn’t help but to snigger at him. He was still a little bit of a hot mess, which I loved about him.

He followed up with an exasperated “sorry” about not being able to find the number before he let out a quiet laugh at himself. It felt like part of it was his nervousness too.

“I’ll text her to get it as soon as we hang up and I’ll call immediately.”

I could hear him sigh in relief before a beeping noise broke into our conversation with an automated message giving a one minute warning.

“I’ll be there tomorrow if they’ll let me…or at least as soon as they’ll let me,” I said in a rush. Suddenly feeling the pressure of our limited time. I still felt like I had so many things to say to him.

“I would like that. I…I really can’t wait to see you…”

His words trailed off, shaking slightly as he was hit with another wave of emotions.

“I can’t wait to see you either,” I replied with a quivering voice.

After a moment of silence, there was a clicking sound as the line disconnected. I held the phone against my forehead, trying to get my breathing back to normal. Once I was able to focus my thoughts, I sent a quick text to Gabby to let her know that Dieter had called and that I needed the number for his case worker. I half expected her to call me, but thankfully she didn’t. She replied back quickly with the number and that she was happy he finally reached out. She followed that message up with another asking me if I was ok and if I needed to talk about it. I appreciated her offer, but I was good for now and let her know as much. Once I finished texting with Gabby, I dialed the number for the case worker, suddenly feeling nervousness forming in the pit of my stomach.

“Sanctuary Hills, this is Sharon,” the polite, yet comforting voice answered.

“Hi Sharon, this is Natalia Cohen…” She cut in before I could continue.

“Oh, Talia, hi. I’ve been expecting your call. Dieter told me he was going to be calling you.”

I let out a nervous laugh, slightly taken aback by the familiarity in which she said my name. It made me wonder how much he had talked about me.

“I assume you’re calling about an appointment for a family session?”

I didn’t know why, but it stirred something in me when she called it a family session. Technically, I wasn’t his family, but they were treating me as if I were. I could feel the tears prickling at my eyes again as I exhaled out a breathy “yes” in response.

“That’s wonderful news, I know he’ll be overjoyed to see you.” I could hear the smile in her voice

“I can’t wait to see him either,” I replied, still trying to keep the emotions out of my words.

“Alright, let me have a look at the schedule. Dr. Rosenberg did ask that you be prepared to be available for at least a week for additional sessions, if possible.”

“Additional sessions?” I was confused. I couldn’t recall if the same thing had been asked of Gabby, which caused my anxiety to flare.

“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal for that to happen. It’s mostly educational sessions for family members if they’re willing to participate.”

“Oh, ok. That doesn’t sound so bad.” I laughed nervously.

“When would you like to come in?” she asked with a calming tone.

“As soon as you can get me in is preferable.” I started tapping on the table as I waited for options, listening to the clicking of a keyboard on her end.

“How about 10 AM the day after tomorrow?”

“I’ll take it,” I said a little too eagerly. The anticipation of seeing Dieter again was starting to get to me.

“I have it scheduled. In case you do end up staying for additional sessions, we have apartments on site for patient families. So, you won’t have to worry about lodging. We don’t want you stressing about that while you’re here.”

“Oh, that’s…nice. Thanks for letting me know.”

“When you arrive for your session, come in the north entrance with the blue awning and they'll get you checked in. It’s a different entrance than where you would have come in before.”

I thanked her and our conversation ended soon after that. Afterwards, I sat staring out the kitchen window, feeling the anxiousness settle into my gut. Not knowing what to expect was always the worst for me. It was like that call had started a countdown, to what, I wasn’t sure. I could only hope the end result would be something positive.

The morning of our session, I had a ridiculously early flight so that I could be there in time. I decided to keep things simple with minimal makeup, a messy bun, sunglasses, sneakers, skinny jeans, and one of Dieter’s button up dress shirts with the sleeves rolled up. I had raided his closet while I was at his house cleaning up. It was something small, but being wrapped in his scent or wearing something that belonged to him brought me some comfort during my time without him. His clothing quickly became a staple in my casual attire.

I was so anxious about seeing Dieter again that the flight didn’t faze me like it normally would have. Though it was an hour and a half, it seemed much quicker as the minutes continued to count down and the distance between us shortened. I could feel myself getting more worked up the closer I got. By the time I acquired the rental car and was on the road to the facility, my chest was heavy. Breathing was getting harder with each mile that passed.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I could feel my heart pounding in my ears. I sat gripping the steering wheel tightly in both hands and taking deep breaths. I wasn’t even sure why I was so nervous, it’s not like I knew what Dieter was planning to talk to me about. However, deep down I had a fear, though most likely irrational, that he was going to realize he didn’t really want to be with me after this. I wasn’t sure if I could handle that a second time if it were to happen. Without permission, the tears started to streak down my cheeks, and I felt like I was going to be sick.

After a few more deep breaths, I slammed my fist down on the stop of the steering wheel out of frustration, “Fucking hell, get it together Talia.”

My head dropped back onto the headrest as I squeezed my eyes shut, still taking deep controlled breaths. After several minutes passed, I let out a slow exhale before opening my eyes. Feeling more relaxed, I did a quick check in the mirror to make sure I didn’t look like a complete mess before exiting the vehicle to go inside.

I was starting to have an out of body feeling as I went through the check in process. I couldn’t really remember walking to the building or anything the lady behind the desk had just said to me as I sat down in the lobby to wait. After a few minutes, one of the receptionists called my name and led me through a secure door down a long hallway. We passed several offices that had glass inserts in the doors with shades. Most of the shades were pulled closed, however, I noticed one was open. As I approached, I glanced inside and was met with a familiar figure sitting in a high backed desk chair in the middle of the room with his head leaned back and eyes closed as he spun back and forth, his legs bouncing ever so often. He was sitting on the opposite side of a desk from a woman who was possibly in her fifties, with graying hair and a kind face. Though, she did have a slightly overwhelmed look about her as her eyes met mine through the glass.

I stopped briefly, watching him wave his hands animatedly as he talked incessantly, never raising his head or opening his eyes. I felt a small smirk sneak across my face. He was nervous too. I could tell. My eyes flicked back to the woman, who was watching me watch him with a soft smile on her face.

My attention was pulled away by the receptionist, who was now at my side waiting for me to continue following her.

“He’s been driving us all crazy this morning. I think poor Sharon is getting the worst of it. He’s beyond excited that you’re here today.”

I chuckled at the thought before continuing down the hallway. I was led into a spacious office. It was modern and white with floor to ceiling windows on one side with nothing in sight but nature. All the furnishings were earth tones of brown and deep reds and oranges. I noticed there were a lot of plants filling the space, which added a homey feeling, in a strange sort of way. It also struck me how there were different seating areas on either side of the room. One had a small couch and cushy chair positioned in front of it, while the other had four cushy chairs sitting closely together in a circle. Each of the seats were adorned with soft looking pillows in various shades matching the space. There was a traditional desk setup in the center of the room with two chairs placed in front of it. Each area felt carefully designed to meet specific needs.

Moments after entering the room, I was greeted by Dr. Rosenberg who first shook my hand, then pulled me in for a loose hug.

“Talia, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you the last couple of months.”

It took me by surprise, though I felt like it shouldn’t have. There was a certain familiarity and kindness that everyone seemed to have toward me. Everyone had been very warm and welcoming thus far. It was comforting to know this was the type of environment that Dieter had been in.

I gave her a tight lipped smile as she led me over to sit in one of the four chairs in a circle. To my surprise, the chair spun slightly as I sat in it. Dr. Rosenberg turned hers to face me directly, so I did the same with mine. I had managed to stay composed thus far, but my nervousness was starting to show as I reached up and rubbed at my shoulder. The psychiatrist was silent for a moment as she watched my movements. I stopped, sat up straight and placed both hands on top of my crossed legs to keep from fidgeting.

I’m not sure why, but I felt the need to appear like I had my shit together. I took a minute to study her as she gave me a soft smile while she continued to get settled, grabbing a notepad, file folder, pen, and glasses from the small table next to her seat. She was probably in her early fifties, maybe late forties. Her long blonde hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and she was dressed in business casual attire. I could tell she wanted to appear professional, but not uninviting. She was also definitely looking at my body language very closely, which was making me feel antsy. My therapist used to do that, and I hated it. I mentally smacked myself over my thoughts. I was already putting up walls and we hadn’t even started talking yet.

“Well, it’s been an exciting morning around here. Dieter is definitely happy you’re here. He was asked to leave his group session this morning because he couldn't focus. He’s been bugging poor Sharon ever since.” She laughed and smiled affectionately at her words.

She was trying to get me to relax. I knew that I looked too tense. I let out a breathy laugh as I sat back further in the seat, trying to appear less uptight, but I didn't think it was working. She gave me a sympathetic look suddenly, “You’re nervous to see him.”

It wasn’t a question. Looking down at my hands, I chuckled to myself briefly before clearing my throat to speak, “Yeah, I guess I am. I just…don’t know what to expect.”

“That’s a perfectly normal feeling. It’s not unusual for family members to worry if their loved one is going to be different after treatment. Is that some of what you’re feeling?”

Her question took me by surprise, “Ummm, maybe. Sort of...maybe not so much about him being different…more about him feeling differently.”

She nodded, “I understand. I can’t say that he won’t be different. His personality may present differently, more calm, less emotional or moody. He will feel differently in that he won’t be cycling from one extreme to the other, emotionally. As far as how he feels ABOUT things, that isn’t going to change just because he’s stabilized. Does that make sense?”

I gave a tight nod, “Yeah, it does.” It didn’t do anything to ease my anxiety though because I still didn’t know how he really felt about us. She eyed me for a second before continuing.

“So, I’ll fill you in on my plan for today. First, you and I are going to chat about Dieter’s diagnosis. Once we’re done, I’m going to bring him in for the session. After that, you and I will have a follow-up meeting to discuss the path forward. Does that sound ok to you?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I started to chew on my bottom lip while she flipped through the file in her hand.

“Great. Just so you’re aware, Dieter signed release forms for you to have access to his medical and treatment information. Nothing is off the table, so if you have questions, ask. He made it clear to me that he wants you to know everything and wants you involved as much as you want to be.”

I paused briefly, shocked by that information. I exhaled the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, “Ok...I wasn’t expecting that.”

She smiled before continuing, “Alright, let’s get to it then?” She raised her brows at me, asking permission to proceed. I motioned with my hand to continue.

“So, he’s been formally diagnosed with mixed episode Bipolar I Disorder (BD). In simple terms, bipolar disorder is when someone experiences extreme behavioral or mood changes. The extreme highs are called manic episodes, and lows are episodes of depression. Most people with BD go through highs and lows over an extended period of time. Someone with mixed episodes, like Dieter has, tend to experience both highs and lows simultaneously or in a rapid sequence with no recovery time.”

She paused, giving me a minute to digest her words. I couldn’t say I was surprised by the diagnosis, it actually made a lot of his behavior make sense. When I didn’t speak up, she continued.

“I think what happened with Dieter…he was put on a lot of medication. Antidepressants in particular can be very tricky for someone with BD. It can cause an increased risk of mood destabilization when the antidepressants are not taken with a mood stabilizer. He was on pretty much everything but a mood stabilizer. You add that in with not sleeping, not eating, drinking, anxiety, and episode triggers…it’s a recipe for disaster. Sometimes being improperly medicated like that can trigger suicidal ideation and even psychosis. Honestly, he was fighting a losing battle.”

I leaned forward in my seat, placing my elbows on my knees while I rubbed at my face. I felt anger bubbling in my chest.

“Why didn’t his therapists or doctors catch what was happening?”

“One reason…lack of experience. BD is also incredibly hard to diagnose because it shares symptoms with so many other more common disorders like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and ADHD, which is what he was being treated for. That’s not to say he doesn’t have those things as well, but if he does, we need to take a different treatment approach.”

I sighed, shaking my head in disbelief. “Wow, that actually kind of blows my mind.”

“I know… and I’m surprised that no one thought to look into it, given his family history. It can be hereditary, and BD does have a high suicide rate. Given what happened with his mother, it should’ve been considered. Also, the fact that he experienced trauma in dealing with that incident...trauma often causes the onset of symptoms.”

I sighed heavily as the tears started to pool in my eyes, “This actually…kind of pisses me off that he had to go through all of this needlessly. He fucking hated taking that stuff because of the way it made him feel.”

“That brings me to my next topic...It's been hard to get a baseline with him. I feel like a lot of the things he was experiencing were side effects from all the medications he was on. I can’t really rely on his history before he started the medication because he was using recreational and prescription drugs and drinking heavily to self medicate, which could have been making things worse for him during that time as well.” She paused briefly to gauge my reaction, “I assume you knew about his past substance abuse issues?”

“Yeah, he’s mentioned it…What does all that mean?”

“Well, it’s hard to know exactly what his actual symptoms are right now. So, to start, I’m doing the bare minimum. I’ve started him out on a low dose mood stabilizer called divalproex sodium. It’s actually…an anticonvulsant that’s normally used to treat seizures rather than a typical mood stabilizer like lithium.”

I drew my brows down together in confusion, “Why a seizure medication?”

“That medication increases the amount of a chemical called gamma-aminobutyric acid in the brain. It works to block certain transmissions across the nerves in the brain and creates sort of an overall calming effect. That particular medication often works best for patients that have mixed or rapid cycling episodes. Lithium typically doesn’t get the job done in those instances. He seems to be doing well on it so far. We’ll give it a few more months to make sure everything else is out of his system and reevaluate.”

“So, he went from taking half the pharmacy…to one thing?”

“He did. He seems pretty set on limiting the medications as much as possible. He’s been spending a lot of his time doing cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal and social rhythm therapy, and psychoeducation to help him manage his symptoms and learn about triggers and that sort of thing. He’s been very invested in it, and it seems to be helping.”

I sighed, starting to feel overwhelmed, “I don’t know what all of that is. I mean, I know cognitive behavioral therapy but…” I shook my head in confusion.

“No worries, if you decide to continue with the family education sessions you’ll learn about that stuff. I know it’s a lot to take in...”

“Yeah, it is, but I’m happy that he’s hopefully on the right track now.” I took a couple of deep breaths to try and relax some as I continued to process things.

“One last thing before I bring Dieter in...I know you two were no longer together before his hospitalization and you haven’t really had a chance to work things out. His preference is to stay with you when he leaves treatment. I do want to be able to manage his expectations if that isn’t going to be the case. I don’t want you to feel like you have to allow that if you aren’t ready to take all this on. I want you to know that you can say no.”

I was taken aback at her directness, but also appreciated it. I actually felt like I was warming up to her some and feeling more comfortable with opening up to her. I didn’t hesitate with my response, if anything, I said it with conviction, looking directly into her eyes as I spoke.

“There’s no question in my mind about him coming home with me so long as he wants to. I’ve known from the start that he was struggling with his mental health, and I promised to support him through it. A new diagnosis doesn’t change anything for me. I’m all in for this.”

Dr. Rosenberg gave me a warm smile, clearly satisfied with my response. “Now I see why he says you can be a force to be reckoned with.”

My eyebrows shot up at her words as she again took me by surprise, “Dieter said that?” I chuckled at the thought as I leaned back in my seat, surprised that was the wording he chose.

“He’s said a lot of things about you, all positive, of course.” She laughed quietly to herself as she set her glasses on the table. As she stood, she announced she was going to go get him for our joint sessions.

After Dr. Rosenberg disappeared out the door, I could feel my anxiety returning. My chest was starting to tighten again as my heart beat a mile a minute. Instinctively, my right hand moved to rub at my shoulder. Was he going to be upset about how easily I gave up on us? I didn’t know how he couldn’t be. It didn’t sound like he was planning to end things for good even though that thought kept crossing my mind. It was clearly my pessimism and self-doubt seeping in. The thought of being completely open and vulnerable in this setting was making things worse too. I wasn’t a fan of having an audience, but I needed to get over that and not build up my walls right now. I propped my arm on the rest of the chair and started to rub at my forehead as my leg began to bounce. I couldn’t make myself stop the fidgeting no matter how hard I tried.

After several minutes passed, Dr. Rosenberg returned with Dieter following behind her. His head was down, clenching and unclenching his hands as he walked. As he approached me, he finally looked my way through his lashes. He gave me a small smile that widened as his eyes dropped down to my shirt, obviously noticing I was wearing one of his. I gave him a shy smile in return. He sat down in the chair directly in front of me as Dr. Rosenberg returned to her earlier spot.

It was clear he was nervous by the way he couldn’t keep his hands still and how the heel of his croc kept bouncing off the tiled floor. He would only occasionally glance in my direction as we waited for Dr. Rosenberg to get settled again. I took the opportunity to study his appearance. He looked so much better compared to the last time I had seen him. His light gray t-shirt was no longer loose looking around his fit torso. His pale skin had been replaced with a golden tan. His hair was longer and as wild as ever, framing his scruffy and patchy beard. His chocolate brown eyes looked clearer than I had ever seen them and were filled with nervousness and anticipation.

Once Dr. Rosenberg was ready to start, she filled Dieter in on what she had discussed with me about his diagnosis. She then encouraged him to take the lead going forward and discuss the things he wanted to speak with me about. He rubbed his hands together nervously, briefly chewing on his bottom lip before he met my gaze to speak.

“So, you’re…ok with that diagnosis?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. I wasn’t sure what he meant and gave him a confused look. “Like, it doesn’t freak you out or anything? I know it’s a lot to deal with.”

“Dieter, the diagnosis doesn’t change anything. You’re still you. Why would it bother me?”

“I dunno, I’m just afraid that at some point you’re gonna realize how big of a mess I am and run away from it all,” he said sheepishly.

I chuckled, leaning forward in the seat with a teasing smile, “I realized how big of a mess you were a long time ago.” He scratched at his chin as a smirk formed on his lips.

“Besides, I’m pretty sure I’ve already seen the worst of it and I’m still here. My feelings for you haven’t changed. You don’t have to worry about that from me.”

His eyes turned glassy at my words as he pinched his brows together, looking downward at his hands in his lap.

“I don’t deserve you, not after the way I treated you…the things I said. I was such an asshole to you.”

I bit at my bottom lip, shaking my head before speaking, “None of that matters to me. I know you weren’t completely yourself when you said those things.”

“No, I wasn’t but I still knew what I was doing and saying. I apparently tend to self-sabotage things. Some of the things I said, using your past against you, I knew it would hurt you. I wanted the words to hurt so you would let me go. I knew you wouldn’t otherwise.”

“Why though? I don’t understand why you felt the need to end things to begin with. Why was I a burden to you?”

His eyes widened at my question, brows shooting upward as he shook his head from side to side, “No, no you weren’t the burden…I was. I’m sorry I made you think that. I know the night I called, I wasn’t making a lot of sense. I…I hadn’t slept in days, and I was such a fucking mess.”

He licked his bottom lip and chewed at it for a second before continuing, “I could see how you were having to completely change everything about your life to accommodate me and my work just for us to be together. I knew it was eventually gonna be a problem and cause you stress because it was affecting your job. I didn’t wanna ruin your life that way. You shouldn’t have to cater your life to mine, it’s not fair. I love you too much to do that to you.”

“Dieter, it wasn’t always gonna be like that. It just happened to be shitty circumstances caused by the remote location. If we hadn't been in the middle of nowhere, I could’ve worked without issue. We just weren’t prepared for the challenges that came up. This is a learning experience for both of us. We’ll know better for next time so I can plan accordingly…and it wasn’t like you weren’t making changes to meet me halfway.”

He couldn’t argue with that. He sighed as he leaned back in his seat, nodding in agreement.

“I know that now, I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly…obviously. It all made sense at the time.” He rolled his eyes, frustrated with his behavior. He took a deep breath before continuing.

“It was more than that though, I knew I was spiraling out of control. I could fucking feel it happening and didn’t know how to make it stop. I didn’t wanna tell you what was going on because I didn’t want you to worry. I knew you would drop everything and fly back to Canada to be with me.”

“You’re damn right I would’ve… and I should’ve done that anyway.” I could feel my emotions catching up to me, my eyes filling with tears as I looked down away from him.

“I fucking knew it…in my gut that something was wrong, and I did nothing. If I had just done it…came up there anyway, this probably would’ve gone differently. I could’ve helped you through it, but no…I was a fucking coward. I gave up because I was selfish and wanted to protect myself. I didn’t even try because I was too afraid that I would end up in a dark place again if you didn’t want me to be there with you.”

The tears were streaking down my cheeks by this point. I couldn’t hold them back anymore. I had so much anger for myself that it was making me feel sick. Dieter stood from his seat, closing the few feet between us, then got down on his knees on the floor in front of me. He moved to grab my hands in my lap, but hesitated. I reached up and grabbed his in response.

“I’m sorry I put you in the position to even have to think that. It should’ve never happened. I should’ve been communicating everything with you instead of pushing you away. This whole fucking mess is my fault…I wanted to reach out so many times after that… to try and fix it, but you seemed like you were doing ok so I didn’t want to upset you again.”

The tears were streaming down his face now as he took a minute to try and compose himself.

“I thought I could move on and just deal with things the way I used to…by numbing the pain. That’s when I started drinking heavily again. Then I saw you at the restaurant, and you looked so fucking amazing…and I was such a dick. I was so angry with myself for that. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I had everything and fucked it up. My behavior after that night was reckless. There are days I can’t even remember because I was drinking so much. I just wanted to not think about it anymore.”

He pulled his hands away, looking down at the floor before wiping at his face. When he raised his head again, the pain in his eyes nearly made my heart stop. I reached out to cup his cheek, but he leaned away, seeming to need space.

“The night that video of you was posted online…several people sent it to me. I didn’t watch it at first because I didn’t think it would mean anything…but when I finally did…”

He put his hand over his mouth, letting out a quiet sob, before continuing.

“I could see how bad you were hurting…how bad I hurt you. What I did to you…I hated myself for it because you didn’t deserve that. It also reminded me of what I was missing out on because of how beautiful you sounded and looked…and that fucking song.”

He paused for a minute, shaking his head. He sniffled and wiped at his face again before continuing.

“I stayed up all night, watching it on a loop on the tv. I almost called you then, but stopped myself. I drank until I had nothing left instead. Then, when I ran into you the next morning, I could see how fucking broken you were. The way you looked at me…it fucking crushed me. I bought more alcohol and went back to the house. I don’t really remember much after that.”

He shook his head for a moment, pausing to take a few deep breaths, wiping at his face again.

“I don’t even remember calling you…and…even after everything I did, you still came to me. You could’ve easily told me to fuck off and I would’ve deserved it, but you didn’t. I know I wouldn’t be here right now if you hadn’t. You saved my life…I feel like you’ve been doing that ever since New York. When I say you’re my light in the darkness, I fucking mean it.”

I started sobbing into my hands. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist, pulling my hands around his neck as he moved to hug me. We sat there in an embrace for some time before I started mumbling into his shoulder.

“I was so afraid you were gonna hate me for giving up on you so easily. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. Just know that it had nothing to do with you…I clearly still need to work on my own shit.”

He hugged me a little tighter as he buried his fingers in the back of my hair, “That thought never crossed my mind. Don’t even worry about it anymore.”

He finally pulled back, wiping the tears away from my cheeks with his thumbs as he did so. We gave each other tight smiles as we locked eyes. He turned away, toward Dr. Rosenberg, who I had completely forgotten was in the room, and asked for some tissues. She picked up the box from her small table and handed it to him as he stood. He handed me several and took some for himself before handing the box back to her. She motioned for him to have a seat. As she turned to set the box back on the table, I noticed she was looking a little glassy eyed too.

We all sat in silence as her eyes shifted between us. Dieter and I glanced at each other, confusion on our faces as we looked back toward her. She chuckled before she spoke.

“I’m not even sure why I’m here. This is literally the first family session ever where I didn’t have to intervene or lead a conversation. You two don’t seem to have any problems communicating, so I’m not sure how you ended up where you were.”

We both smiled widely at her, surprised and appreciative of her honesty. Dieter spoke up with a chuckle.

“I think between my fucked up brain and the distance…it didn’t do us any favors. We’re always at our best when we’re physically together, I think. Everything goes to hell when we aren’t. Clearly that is something I need to work on.”

Dr. Rosenberg nodded in agreement, “Well, I hate to separate you two again, but we are running short on time, and I want to have a chat with Talia about the plans going forward. Dieter, I’m pretty sure you have another group session coming up so you better head that way. You think you can focus enough for this one?”

She raised an eyebrow in his direction as he laughed and nodded. He stood, quickly shuffling over to lean down and give me a hug before exiting the room.

Dr. Rosenberg wasted no time getting back to business, “Talia, part of his treatment is making sure he has the support he needs when he gets home. That’s why we offer support to caretakers as well, because technically, you will be his caretaker as the only other person in the household with him.”

I knitted my brows together, confused about where this conversation was going.

“I’m not going to pretend that I don’t know you have a traumatic history because Dieter has mentioned a few things. I don’t know the details, and I get the sense he doesn’t know it all either. I feel like whatever happened with your ex-husband is still affecting you. Is the dark place you mentioned something that you would be willing to talk to me about? Anything you tell me about yourself is confidential, just so you know.”

I sighed heavily as I ran both hands over my face, “So you picked up on that, huh?” I laughed nervously under her gaze.

“You’re right, I haven’t told him everything. I keep telling myself I’ve moved past it, but after the last few months, I’ve realized that I just locked it away and pretended it didn’t exist. I tend to do that with a lot of things.” She gave me an encouraging smile, clearly picking up on my hesitation as I paused to gather my thoughts.

“So, the last few years of my marriage, I started drinking heavily after finding no way out of the hell I was living in. The constant mental and psychological abuse was wearing me down, especially after I realized what was happening. When I tried to talk to Justin about a divorce, he would just tell me there was no way out because he wasn’t ready to give me up.” I paused briefly… focusing on something outside through the window. “I uhh, came home early from work one day and found him with another woman that he worked with. He of course said it was my fault, because I wasn’t giving him what he needed in the marriage. I knew what he was doing…and I was determined not to let it go because I felt I had a legitimate reason to end things at that point. I TOLD him I was leaving. I was done asking. When I started packing a bag, he hit me. The first time ever. I mean, he had shoved me around some, but never hit me across the face like that. He told me there was no leaving… that he would just find me and bring me home. Said no one would believe me or help because all of OUR friends knew how I was.”

“Talia, what did saying that out loud just now make you feel?”

My eyes drifted over to meet hers, “I don’t really feel anything.”

She arched a brow, “That’s because you're dissociating. I want you to focus on me as you speak and feel what you’re saying.”

Fuck. She wasn’t going to let me cheat my way through this like my therapist did. I pinched my brows together as my eyes teared up again. I had to face this. I closed my eyes briefly, exhaling slowly. When I opened them and met her gaze, she nodded for me to continue.

“He wasn’t wrong. I didn’t really have anyone to turn to. He made sure of that. He left after our argument, said he was going out with the guys. I doubt that’s where he went though. As soon as he left, I started drinking. I remember…feeling lost and pretty fucking hopeless after that. I couldn’t believe he hit me, and I was scared it would happen again. I never saw myself as someone who lets their husband abuse them…I felt disgusted over it. I must have drank a lot…because I can’t remember the rest of that night. I - I woke up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. I guess when he came home, he found me passed out in my own vomit.”

I started tapping on the arm of the chair as the tightness in my chest returned. The tears trickled out again.

“When Justin finally came to see me, I told him that I was done. If he didn’t let me go, I was gonna find a way out…one way or another and I would make sure everyone knew it was his fault. Given that I had just put myself in the hospital, he took me at my word and agreed on a divorce. I guess he was afraid of what I would do.”

“What did you mean by that?”

I gave a half smile, “I honestly don’t know. I wonder that myself…what I was capable of. If I could’ve done anything.”

“What happened after you both agreed to the divorce?”

“Well, when I was still in the hospital, I reached out to one of my best friends that I grew up with, Lauren. We had kept in touch, even though I actively worked to put up a wall between us so she wouldn’t know what was really going on in my life because I was so embarrassed over it. She didn’t hesitate…she was at the hospital within the hour, and I told her everything. I stayed with her for a few weeks until I got my life sorted out. I don’t think I would have been able to do it without her. Of course, Justin continued to torment me by dragging out the divorce for over a year. It got pretty nasty.”

“What effects do you feel like that experience had on you?” She asked quietly.

“Experience.” I chuckled. “I didn’t realize twelve years of hell could be considered an experience.”

She gave me a sympathetic look before I continued, “I mean, I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was. I was who he wanted me to be. After I left him, he was still in my head with everything I did. What I was wearing, how I fixed my hair and makeup, things I said. I couldn’t do some of the simplest things without hearing his voice telling me I was doing something wrong and having a fucking panic attack over it. I couldn’t make decisions…and yes, I would still drink to numb my feelings and calm myself down. Only this time, I knew exactly how much I could drink without taking it too far.”

“Are those things still an issue for you now?”

I shook my head, “No, I mean, I did all the cognitive behavioral therapy and the sessions. I eventually got to a point where the negative thoughts stopped. I think Dieter had a lot to do with that…he kind of helped me see myself in a different light…but I do still have anxiety sometimes and I think I’ve reverted back to ignoring my feelings… compartmentalizing everything and pretending it’s not there. Throwing myself into work and staying busy to keep my mind occupied. I’ve been doing that instead of drinking the feelings away.”

Dr. Rosenberg leaned forward, placing her elbow on her knee with a pensive look on her face.

“Talia…would you be willing to stay for the next three weeks to work through some of this with me? It would be outpatient treatment…a couple hours a day. You can stay in one of our apartments.”

I sucked in a quick breath. I certainly wasn’t expecting this, but at the same time, I almost felt relieved. My gut told me I needed it and I knew I couldn’t go on the way I had been because I was eventually going to self-destruct if I didn’t take better care of myself. I knew I couldn’t fully be there for Dieter if I was still battling with myself. I sat staring at my hands as I thought through the offer. I could still work remotely, so that wouldn’t be an issue. I raised my head to meet her eyes, “Will Dieter know what I’m doing?”

“Only if you want him to.”

“I don’t want to saddle him with my shit right now…I don’t wanna mess him up.”

“Honestly, I think he’s stable at this point. I think he could handle whatever you wanted to share with him. If you wanted, we could even do some more joint sessions, or he can just be there for support if you want him to be. It’s all up to you really.”

“What would you do?” I asked, letting out a stuttered breath with my question. She took a minute to consider her response, biting on the inside of her cheek as she did so.

“I don’t think it would be bad if you shared everything with him. The more open you are with one another, the better. Communication is going to be a huge factor in keeping your relationship healthy and happy. At least if he knows what’s going on he can support you, just like you support him. Also, if he needs help processing through things, we can help him with that while he’s here…but again, it’s your decision.”

“Yeah, I mean he knows most of it anyway…Alright, I’ll do it. I’ll stay and I want him involved.”

She gave me a bright smile, “I’m actually really happy to hear that. I think this will allow you to build a solid foundation going forward. I’m excited for your future together. I can tell that you both care deeply for each other and I really want your time here to be successful.”

I gave her thanks for the opportunity she was giving me. I’ve known for a while that I had things that I needed to work on but didn't really know where to start. The fact that Dieter seemed so at ease with her and was doing so well gave me some comfort and the courage to jump in head first.

The next three weeks were a whirlwind of educational sessions to help me learn about bipolar disorder; the triggers, coping strategies, and lifestyle changes to minimize stress. I even had an opportunity to learn more about Dieter’s medication and possible interactions and side effects so I would be able to spot them. He had asked that I be involved with his Interpersonal and Social Rhythm therapy, which was designed to help him build a daily routine of healthy habits to manage his moods. Given his job, sometimes a routine was almost impossible for him to keep, but we learned strategies to deal with that when confronted with it. It was all very helpful for the both of us.

I had my sessions too of course. He sometimes set in on them if we were doing something particularly hard that day. His presence helped keep me grounded and got me through a lot. He was taking time to learn about ways to help me cope better and we worked together on effective communication skills.

Dr. Rosenberg recommended that I start keeping a journal to help me work through my emotions. I was iffy about it at first, but Dieter was also doing it and he loved it. He was very encouraging about it. It was something that I had come to enjoy doing after a few days. We had even taken to having a shared journal between us to better communicate our feelings, which Dr. Rosenberg loved the idea of and encouraged.

Even though Dieter and I weren’t able to spend a whole lot of time together during those three weeks, I could always feel his presence and support. It’s what kept me going through it all. I don’t think I would have had the strength to do it without him. By the time my last day of treatment came around, he was given the all clear for discharge. It was both nerve wracking and exciting to know that we would be going home…together.

A/N: How excited are we that these two are finally back together? How badly did this chapter hit the feels? Did you cry? If you did, hopefully this will be the last time...unless you are a happy crier. There may be happy tears later. 😉 How are we feeling about Dieter's diagnosis? Does it change how you view some of his past behavior? What about that revelation from Talia? I mean, are we really surprised though; the girl has had a complicated relationship with alcohol throughout the whole story. How do you think things are going to go when they get back home? Do you think they will pick up where they left off or have some growing pains? We will find out in the next chapter. 😁 I am 100% failing at life and did not get the Deconstructing Dieter Bravo post done. I need to do a little fact checking and didn't have the brain power for it. However, once I get that ready, it will be posted HERE. The topic for Deconstructing Dieter Bravo Part 3 will be his diagnosis. I will tag all the usuals in the posts once it is ready. Hopefully you will find it to be educational. 💜 👉 I do want to share some details on upcoming projects that will be released for the holidays. I am participating in the @pedrostories Secret Santa event. I have received my gift prompt, and you may be excited to know that you will be getting a Dieter Bravo one shot from me by Christmas. I already have some ideas swirling around for it and it's not related to any current fics. It should be fun. Be sure to follow the #pedrostoriesgift23 hashtag to check out all the awesome work that will be included for the event. 👉 I will also be participating in the Pickled Peña event for the new year. I am going to try my hand at writing a little Javi P. for you. Follow @pickled-pena for updates and the hashtag #pickledpeña to see all madness (and I'm sure debauchery) that comes from this fun challenge. I also invite you all to join us! There is still time! It's going to be a blast! If you would like to be tagged on either of these one shots, let me know in the comments. 💜 As usual, I have included the chapter mood board below in case you missed it.😘

Next Chapter

Tag List: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @wannab-urs @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love @themonadiaries-blog @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @avastrasposts @weho2kcmo @harriedandharassed @tkchaos @girlofchaos @yghuibt @musings-of-a-rose @annieispunk @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat @pedrostories

Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo x ofc #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #Pedro Pascal Fanfic #dieter bravo fluff #dieter bravo fanfiction #the bubble #the bubble fanfiction #Destiny & Deliverance Series #friends of juice collective

137 notes · View notes

mtkay13 · 2 months

Text

The peach blossoms are blooming

Lol @the fancy title, haha. Yesterday I promised "two hoboxu's today!" but I'm an inconsistant liar so the second is today and not yesterday, HAH.

Anyway, another painting of my very beloved; more about this piece below!

So aside of the obvious joke, what I really wanted to work on and represent on this picture is, as the title makes it clearer, grief, and what it looks like for ZZS.

The idea came from imagining ZZS setting off, happy with his disguise, and passing by a peach tree orchards and seeing all the peach blossoms blooming, and what it would entail.

...So let's talk about what TYK is about again, shall we?

(usual caveat: those are my thoughts and interpretations etc etc)

Little is known of the four years that separate the end of QY and the beginning of TYK. Even less is obviously stated when it comes to the reasons why ZZS has put in the nails, besides the obvious "requirement to leave Tian Chuang" part.

So, trying to leave all headcanons and other suppositions aside, and looking at what the text gives us, one of the main "storylines" of ZZS' personal journey across both books seems to be: dealing with the loss of LJX, first of their relationship, and later, of LJX entirely.

>I'm going to boldly announce that (I think) TYK is in great parts a story about getting over grief, or rather, properly living with grief.

Needless to say that it is clear that ZZS has a bunch of issues he's dealing with, including "the void after meeting your goals; what's next?" and some form of burnout from completely over-exerting himself and going way beyond what he thought he could sustain mentally; but also. Four years after he lost LJX, ZZS is still deeply grieving. Still seeing him in crowds, still thinking about him frequently, still hallucinating him, dreaming of him. He couldn't resist taking in ZCL because ZCL reminded him of LJX. Nearly every single thought of his own past ends up rooting back to LJX.

The first time he mentions LJX's name out loud in TYK, chapter 41, is the first time he mentions it at all in four years, and to quote the text:

Speaking out his name hadn't been that big of a deal, in the end; it had only felt like something had been pulled out of his chest—like he was now missing a piece, like it left behind an empty void.

(TYK ch41, TL by me)

The next scene is when it hits ZZS that he's going to die; from that moment on, ZZS starts feeling stupid, ZZS slowly starts wanting to find a solution, influenced by WKX... and the story culminates with ZZS making the opposite decision that he made in QY: instead of risking never seeing WKX alive again, and against WKX's decision, he goes to meet him, unlike LJX whom he was too scared to go meet, and lost forever without even saying goodbye.

>I think that ZZS essentially took the nails because he couldn't manage to live with that grief, basically. (I know, I KNOW there are other reasons, but for the sake of analyzing this theme, I find interesting to look at it from this angle; how the narrative shifts towards ZZS putting in the efforts to stay alive at the exact same times he starts letting go of LJX literally.) And then, as he learns, as he rediscovers life differently, the story becomes about getting free from the nails, about actially living with that grief rather than dying because of it.

*coughs* so, hum, yes. This is what I wanted to represent. What grief looks like, at this stage of melancholic, happy, self-deprecating acceptance of freedom through death—freedom of the burden of grief and guilt. It's a bittersweet feeling, but the way I see it, he smiles out of what he thinks is inner peace, resignation, and once again, self-deprecation.

I would go even deeper, in that ZZS' relationship to death with regards to LJX is quite complex and difficult, given how he was told by LJX himself that he ought to die for what he's done (or misunderstood LJX saying so), but that's a whole other can of worms and I don't have the brain juice to go there again (since it wouldn't even be the first time iirc). SO YEAH, again, grief, but ZZS style: turned into a bit of a melancholic, silly, but gentle joke, and with a smile on the face. On brand with TYK as well.

Cheers!

#tian ya ke #zhou zishu #liang jiuxiao #tyk #zzs #meta #qi ye

127 notes · View notes

raining-dreams · 7 months

Text

Best Underrated Shows

Saving Me

Saving Me is about a lonely old guy who invents a time machine so he can go back to his child self and fix all his past mistakes. I learned about this show from this video titled Watch THIS instead of Hailey's On It by M!n!mal M!ss Art. Despite this video, I was still very excited to watch Hailey's On It. It seemed like a story with a cool premise and cute art style (and ultimately I do really like the show) But Hailey's On It wasn't gonna be out for weeks when I came across this video and this video really sold me on giving Saving Me a try. I never would have even heard of this show without that youtube video which would have been a real shame because Saving Me is fantastic! I hope this show reaches more people and I'm dying for a season 3!!!!!

House of Anubis

Mystery is my favorite genre and House of Anubis is chuck full of it. I used to be obsessed with this show back in high school. I had so much fun coming up with theories and live-blogging my thoughts and opinions about each new episode. Some of the acting & dialogue could be a little cringe sometimes but the story is just so good that it doesn't matter. I've heard that Het Huis Anubis (the Dutch version of the show that House of Anubis is based on) is even better, though I haven't gotten around to watching it yet.

Over the Garden Wall

Those of us who have seen Over the Garden Wall seem to agree that this show is amazing! Which makes it feel a little weird to call it underrated. But it seems like so few people have actually seen it. Maybe because it was a mini series, it couldn't reach the same level of popularity as other shows of similar quality. If you like Gravity Falls, you'll likely enjoy Over the Garden Wall as well. (Wirt is even voiced by the same guy who voiced Dipper!) I would highly recommend anyone that hasn't seen it already.

Dead End: Paranormal Park

I feel like it's pretty rare for animated series to exist in the horror genre for some reason. It truly is an untapped market. But if you love horror and animation, Dead End is the show for you! (Of course it's kid friendly horror since the target audience is children) The two main characters, Barney and Norma get jobs at a haunted park and work together to fight ghosts and demons. Dead End has a super cute animation style, in my opinion, and a very diverse set of characters. I encourage everyone to watch it!

Just Add Magic

Just Add Magic is based on a children's book by the same name. It's a show about three girls who love to cook and basically discover that they can use cooking to do magic. It's a pretty interesting take on how magic works in their universe. It's very fun to watch. All of the actors are also so talented! And one of those actors is Zach Callison (the voice of Steven Universe)!

The friendship between the trio is awe-inspiring! They have so much chemistry. It's a pretty fun watch.

The Last Kids On Earth

Based on a comic of the same name, this show is about a group of kids who have to survive on their own when a zombie apocalypse breaks out. And other various creatures start to threaten them (or even become their allies) It's basically a cute found family story. The premise is pretty simplistic but that's what I love about it. The animation style of The Last Kids On Earth is so beautiful as well!

I'm still waiting for a season 3!!!!!

Code Lyoko

I remember as a kid being aware of this show and thinking it looked kind of interesting (and I always loved the theme song!!) but I never ended up watching it back then because I let peer pressure get the better of me. I remember I met someone who brought up how much they loved the show. When I heard them express that interest, I was at first excited to ask them more but before I had the chance, everyone else started making fun of him for liking Code Lyoko.

I guess it was like the nerd show or something? I don't really know why it was considered cringe to like Code Lyoko but upon seeing my peers act this way, I decided I can't like Code Lyoko if I want to fit in. So, I avoided watching it. But earlier this year, when I was flipping through channels, they were showing old episodes of Code Lyoko! I was intrigued since I remembered it from childhood and thought I'd actually give it a chance this time. And it's actually a pretty good show! It can be slow at times but overall I enjoy it.

If you're like me and avoided watching this back then due to peer pressure, I highly recommend leaving that in the past and just letting yourself enjoy this show!!

Slugterra

Slugterra is honestly pretty similar to Pokemon, except it's slugs! And the entire series takes place underground. Basically, there's a whole underground world called Slugterra, home to slugs, trolls, moles, etc. And all the slugs have cool powers so the people collect & befriend slugs so they can use them as weapons ("slugslinging"). If you like Pokemon, you're sure to like Slugterra!

Detentionaire

I discovered Detentionaire randomly while I was searching through Amazon's library of cartoons. I was looking for a new show to watch and just stumbled upon this one. It looked pretty interesting and I was surprised to see it was a show from 2011. I don't know how I missed this show back then. Idk if maybe it only aired in Canada or something? (cuz it's a Canadian show) But anyways, Detentionaire is such an intriguing show where the main character, Lee, discovers some grand conspiracy and has to try to expose it to prove his innocence so he can get out of detention. It's such an interesting concept. And, as I mentioned earlier, mystery is my favor genre, so I had a lot of fun with this one.

The only problem though is, of course, it ends on a cliffhanger. The show got canceled before they had the chance to conclude the story in a satisfying way (or any type of way) so watch at your own risk.

Catscratch

I honestly don't even remember what this show was about but I do remember enjoying this show and being excited when I saw a new episode was out. I remember thinking it was so funny. I just don't think enough people know about this show.

174 notes · View notes

startrekfangirl2233-writes · 2 months

Text

He Fell First (She Fell Harder)

A You Play Stupid Games, You Win Stupid Prizes (I'm Not a Game You Want to Lose) Oneshot

Past!Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader

Description: The Five times Bitsie couldn't keep her eyes (and thoughts) off Jake and the One time Jake couldn't keep his eyes off Bitsie.

Disclaimer: Female!Reader

Warnings: This fic encompasses the entire timeline of the events happening in You Play Stupid Games, You Win Stupid Prizes. As such, there are mentions of cheating, some cursing, sex, sexual themes, as well as a look into Bitsie's mental state during the rough non-consensual sex mentioned in Love Has No Limits, Part Two of the main story.

The content presented in this story is for audiences age 18 and over only. MINORS DNI. I will not be accepting taglist requests from Blank or Ageless Blogs for this story. I do my best to portray adult relationships in this fic. Please do not interact with this story if you feel you are not ready to read about these themes.

Word Count: 7202

A/N: Hi All! So remember when I mentioned I wasn't ready to let Jake and Bitsie go when I ended the main series? Here we are! I'm so happy to share this new installment in their story with you all! It's also my first time writing a 5 plus 1 style fic, so I hope you all love it.

A lot of this story will not make sense if you've not read the main part of the series linked below.

Thanks to @horseshoegirl and @desert-fern for reading over this oneshot as I was trying to figure out how to write a 5 plus 1 style fic!

AO3: Cross-posted here!

Wattpad: Cross-posted here!

My Masterlist

Series Masterlist

1. Before Bradley Bradshaw

You're not sure why the blond on the other side of the aisle at the Commissary is staring at you. He's beautiful. You know that for a fact because you have eyes, and you're a little weak at the knees at the sight of how he fills out his khaki uniform. He’s probably only staring because you're a mess, with your hair in a messy bun, standing in the commissary wearing a ratty, holey T-shirt and ripped-stained jeans. Moving sucks. It feels like your spine is just stretching out again after hours in the car. Honestly, you’re not sure why you decided to have all your things shipped to Lemoore instead of directly to North Island. Three trips in your car later, and you’ve got everything you need with you, but you now have an avalanche of boxes waiting in your living room to unpack.

Your entire life in boxes is another reason you’d retreated to the commissary. It’s already 6 in the evening, and you want nothing more than to eat something and flop onto the sofa for the night. You’re hoping, at the very least, to pick up a few important groceries, such as milk, bread, eggs, and cheese, to tide you over until you can run to Whole Foods or Wegmans off base. It’s as you’re debating what type of cereal you should buy that the blond first catches your attention. It’s a Wednesday, and there are a surprisingly large number of khaki-clad navy personnel walking up and down the aisles collecting items they need. You’re probably one of the few in casual clothing, but that doesn’t warrant his staring.

It takes far too much effort to turn your attention back to the two cereal boxes in your hands. You can still feel the prickle of his gaze against the back of your neck.

“Y’know, if you’re deciding between Honey Bunches of Oats and Frosted Mini Wheats, I have to tell you that you’re probably thinking too hard.”

You startle, fumbling with the boxes, and stumble back into a broad, firm chest. His laughter is warm and musical as he steadies you with big, warm hands.

“I’m sorry.” You’re flushed and hoping that you’re not as sweaty and disgusting as you feel with this Adonis of a man so close to you.

“I startled you, huh?” His grin is crooked and wicked, making you grin sheepishly.

“Yeah, you kind of did.” You turn and gesture at the cereal boxes. “So, what makes you think you know the best cereal?”

“Well, I've been eating it my whole life, you know?” His eyes seem to twinkle as he responds.

“So have I. I happen to like Honey Bunches of Oats, you know?”

“All that tells me, gorgeous, is that you haven't put something truly delicious in that pretty little mouth before today.”

You squeak a little because you're not sure you've ever been so close to a man before.

“So, I would suggest Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It's sweet and spicy, just like you are.”

You can feel yourself flush, even as he reaches past you, pulls the correct cereal box from the shelf, and places it in your cart.

“See you around, beautiful. I hope you enjoy your time on North Island.”

You’re a flustered mess as you checkout at the counter several moments later. You think about this flirty stranger as you unpack your house and put everything away for the rest of the week and most of the weekend. A part of you isn’t sure how to handle such casual flirting. Could that stranger have been serious? Did he actually want to see you around North Island? Or was that just something he was saying to be kind?

2. Befriending the Daggers

As silly as it seems, you feel like you can taste cinnamon sugar on your tongue when you and your team are introduced to the Dagger Squad in one of the hangars at North Island.

The reason why is simple. The blond who had been haunting your thoughts all weekend is standing at attention in the front row. His cocky smirk makes your knees weak, and you’re sure that his eyes on you make you stutter as you introduce yourself. Throughout that first briefing, you can feel his gaze track across your form as you take notes in your spiky hand. You think you see him smirk when your hand cramps, and you need to shake your fingers out. Still, it catches your attention in a fleeting moment, not keeping it for longer than a few seconds before the briefing grabs you again.

What follows is a day full of briefings, the problem with the laser targeting system setting your mind ticking into overdrive. Looking at the faces of the others on your team, you can see hints of the same curiosity and the same drive to solve this problem. Of course, it would be asking a bit much to be able to view the plane telemetry data and hardware logs and hear the comms recordings so soon after your introduction to the team. Something tells you you’ll have to wait for that.

“So, you’re joining us for drinks, right?” It’s one of the female lieutenants, Trace, you think her name is, who invites you out. “We go to this little place on the beach called The Hard Deck. Penny’s amazing!”

“You should join us, Bitsie!” His voice sounds just as good in the hangar as at the commissary, if a bit less worn and tired. The nickname is new, but coupled with the grin he’s leveling in your direction, you’re willing to accept it. You smile sweetly at the blond as he walks up behind Lieutenant Trace.

“I’m Jake, Jake Seresin. How’d you like the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?”

Before you can respond, though, Trace muscles her way back into the conversation. “Stop making her feel awkward, Bagman.”

You smile gently over her shoulder at Jake as Natasha walks you away, talking a mile a minute. The Hard Deck is a surprisingly homey place. It’s warm and brightly lit, smelling of lemon polish and faintly of yeasty beer. It bothers you a little bit how Natasha doesn’t seem to want to let you go. Jake’s been waiting, sweetly, this whole time. You want to thank him for his cereal recommendations. But she’s introducing you to the others, and you're actually having fun.

Before long, you find yourself in a circle of women, and you’re surprised by how nice it feels. Mara, you've known and worked with for years, but you've never been close. Callie and Natasha are like two sides of the same coin. Both of them are whip-smart and take no shit. They’re the perfect counterparts to you and Mara.

Looking back, you've never really had many female friends. Most of your colleagues are males, males who don't want anything to do with you outside of seeing you every day and inevitably getting shown up by you. So it’s nice standing at one of the bar’s high-top tables while getting to know your new colleagues and hopefully your new friends.

You’re laughing and smiling, vacantly swaying to the song's beat pouring out of the jukebox when the song cuts out. You startle, then hum as you hear the plunking of keys from the piano on the other side of the bar. When you’d walked in, talking to Natasha, you’d thought the piano was just an ornament, something defunct and unplayable. The tune leaves the wooden instrument echoing with age.

Natasha crows with glee at the sound; all the Daggers roused into a festive mood in moments. “C’mon, you two! You’re in for a real treat tonight!”

The raspy voice that starts singing melds beautifully with the old instrument, lustily belting the words of an old song into the air. It seems to be a normal occurrence. As Natasha dances and pulls you into the fray surrounding the piano, you feel relaxed enough to dance along awkwardly in her wake. The other Daggers are arrayed in a half-moon around the back of the piano, facing a man with auburn curls wearing a cheerful printed shirt. You recognize him as one of the Daggers you haven’t been introduced to yet. He’s feeling the jazzy beat of the song as his fingers dance across the yellowed ivory keys.

When he peers over the rims of his RayBans, his eyes meet yours. In that instance, the world stops because his smile takes your breath away. You’ve never felt this seen, this beautiful. His eyes sparkle, the color of the whiskey in the glass atop the glossy wood of the piano. You’ve never heard this song before, but damn, if you don’t want to learn the lyrics via osmosis just to see him smile at you for singing along. You’re not sure when the song ends, or even that it does, notes echoing in the suddenly quiet expanse of your mind. You swallow when he stands up from the bench and downs the watered-down whiskey, tracking a droplet of the amber liquid as it drips down his neck. You have to remind yourself to be cool, to avoid glancing at his mouth as he swaggers up to you.

“Hi,” His voice is like woodsmoke, dark and gorgeous as it drips into your ears. “I’m Bradley Bradshaw, but you can call me Rooster. I’m one of the Daggers, but if I’d met you before now, I’m not sure I would forget.”

“Bradley…. Bradshaw?” You’re not sure when Natasha, Callie, and Mara moved away, but when you look, you’re all alone in the corner of the bar with just Bradley Bradshaw for company.

“It’s a family name.” He drags one of his big hands through glistening curls, his bicep bunching alluringly in the frankly silly shirt he’s wearing. “My dad wanted the alliteration. My mom loved him too much to say no. So here I am.”

“It sounds like you love them a lot.”

His smile falters at your earnest words, a frown dipping his lips down for a few seconds before the smirk rises back into place. “Yeah, I did.”

Your mind churns, because you feel like you’ve pressed unwittingly onto a still un-healed old wound. You feel like you should apologize, like you have to apologize, but he doesn’t let you. The play of emotions on his face is lightning-fast. Before you can think, he’s already leading you to the next conversation topic: you.

“But that’s enough about me. Tell me about you.”

You flush and let your life story, a highly edited version, drip off your tongue. You’ve never felt like this before. You feel seen and inexplicably gorgeous, faced with a six-foot-tall man whose eyes seem to see right through you. He makes you feel giddy.

“What’re you doing tucked away in this corner with Bradshaw, Bitsie?” Jake’s voice makes you smile in a completely different way than when Bradley was making you giggle earlier.

“We were just chatting, Jake.”

“Yeah, Bagman.” It surprises you to see the nearly cruel look on Bradley’s kind-looking face. “We were just chatting. Piss off.”

Jake lifts his hands as he backs away, though you don’t miss how he mouths, “Later, pretty girl” to you over Bradley’s shoulder. You don’t miss the frown creasing on his handsome face, either.

“Does he call you Bitsie often?” Bradley sounds surprisingly concerned as he curls one of his big hands around your waist.

“He just started today.”

Bradley’s face makes you bite your lips. “I’m pretty sure he’s just teasing me, Bradley. It’s okay.”

“No, no, it’s not.” You can hear the rumble of his voice in your chest as he leans closer. “Sweetheart, he’s making fun of you. He doesn’t take you or your job seriously. He took your cute, little introductory speech and turned it into a mockery!”

“He isn’t making fun of me, Bradley.”

“Yeah, he is, sweetheart.” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ears. “Bagman makes fun of everyone and everything. He doesn’t know how to give a compliment seriously if he tries.”

“He’s just going to hurt you, gorgeous.”

“No, he’s not.” You scoff.

“Turn around, sweetheart.”

You turn as bidden, expecting to see Jake looking at you with that same sweet look on his face. Instead, what you see is Jake smirking down at a gorgeous willowy blonde with big boobs and sweet, dainty features.

You, in your frumpy little business casual pants set, look terrible in comparison. When his eyes rise to meet yours, the smile falls a little, but it grows into something smarmy and ingenuine as his eyes meet the man standing behind your shoulder.

“See, sweetheart? The man flirts just to flirt. That’s all he means when he calls you Bitsie. He’ll flirt and then go home with someone else. You’re not his type. But luckily, you’re mine.”

His words make you smile, and you devote the brunt of your attention to Bradley Bradshaw again. You can feel the itch of eyes on you all night long. But when you sneak furtive glances over your shoulders at where Jake is standing with that blonde bimbo draped all over him, his attention always seems to be on her. But you can still feel the itch of his gaze in between your shoulders.

3. Dating Bradley Bradshaw

After that first night, you keep a close eye on the Daggers, especially how they interact with each other. Jake Seresin always seems to be on the outskirts of the group. Only Coyote goes out of his way to include Jake. Even when he is a central part of the conversation, Hangman seems to prefer biting commands and witty repartee, which doesn’t endear him to his squadron. You hear them all, though, noting the jokes that are so sly and cerebral that they pass the others by. You notice his concern, the tightly wound worry in every muscle as he tries his best to ensure everyone comes back home safe and sound, even in the midst of training.

Something about his attitude still bothers you, though. Or maybe it’s how he always insists on calling you Bitsie instead of your name. He can’t seem to bring himself to give you any respect, either, and it’s starting to piss you off. If you didn’t know differently, you’d assume Jake Seresin didn’t believe you belonged here, working on this team and completing vital work for the Pentagon and the US Navy. So, you dread walking into the pilot’s ready room on base for coffee. You’ve been dragging all day, and you have it on good authority that the pilot’s ready room has the best coffee on base.

Well, your thermos from home is empty, and you could use the pick-me-up, so you head over there, hoping you can avoid Jake Seresin. All you want is a decent cup of coffee before you’re back to staring at flight diagnostics until your eyes bleed.

The ready room is quiet, barring the ever-present roaring hum of jet engines in flight, and to your satisfaction, there is a pot of coffee waiting for you. You sniff at its contents, a little disappointed because there’s only enough for half a mug once you’ve assured yourself of its relative freshness. You make your mug happily, doctoring it to your satisfaction and taking the time to look around. Bradley and Nat have told you about the days they've spent here between hops while training for the Uranium Mission. The walls are covered in pictures, and you take the time to examine them as you sip your coffee.

When the radio flickers on with an echoey buzz as it connects to the comms of the jets in flight, you startle and whirl around.

“If you’re looking for the Chicken, he’s up in the air.” You have to fight to keep your dismay from showing on your face. You must be at least a little unsuccessful since there is an imperceptible smirk growing on Hangman’s face as he looks at you from one of the sofas. “At least you’ve found the coffee.”

“It’s the best coffee on base, after all.”

You refill your mug and try your best to ignore Hangman. But when you go to take another sip, you’re met with only the dregs at the bottom of your mug. There’s silence between you as you scramble into the cupboards, looking for the fresh coffee. When you measure the beans into the grinder and fire the grinder up, you deliberately avoid looking for the aviator lying supine on the sofa. You find a modicum of your composure as you measure the grinds into a new filter and fill the carafe of the coffee maker with fresh water. You hit the buttons decisively and hum appreciatively as the scent of fresh bitter coffee wafts from the pot. From the radio set, you can hear Phoenix and Bob on the comms, mostly Bob, as he clues his pilot onto unseen perils in the sky. On occasion, you can hear Phoenix’s measured tone and Bradley’s rough rasp, too.

“So, Bitsie, how do you take your coffee?”

You startle, sending crystals of sugar skittering across the countertop as Hangman’s voice gets even closer to you than it was before. You’re always impatiently waiting for the coffee to brew, so you always add the creamer and sugar to the bottom of your mug before pouring in the coffee. Hangman chuckles when he sees the sugar dripping lazily out of the torn open packet in a glittering stream.

“Sugar, huh?” He pushes you away and begins to wipe the sticky substance away but stops once he sees the bottom of your mug. “Fuck, Bitsie, do you pour any coffee into your mug at all?”

“Oh, trust me,” you snap, on the defensive at the sound of his voice so close to you, “I desperately need the caffeine to put up with you, after all.”

Something about the joking look on his face fades away at your tone, though the smile doesn’t.

“I drink my coffee black, you know?” He chuckles, leaning against the counter as he holds your mug hostage on the other side of him. “I like my coffee hot and full-bodied, a little bitter, but oh, so smooth on my tongue.”

He takes two measured steps into your space. With how close he is, you’re inundated with the scent of his cologne and the bitter tang of jet fuel. “Coincidentally, I like my women like that too.”

“And how do they like you?” One of his eyebrows rises at your statement. “Your women, Bagman. How do they like you?”

“Oh, honey.” He grins as he fills the mug up and turns around. “I promise they don’t have any complaints.”

He sips insolently out of your mug, tongue lapping at the traces of coffee left on the spoon he used to stir the steaming beverage before handing the mug filled with hot liquid back to you. Your mind stutters as Jake Seresin stares you down like you’re the best thing he’s ever seen. “Your coffee isn’t half bad either, Bitsie.” You can feel the warmth of his touch where his fingers brush against yours. “A little sweet, but it figures when the drinker is as sweet as you are.”

When you sip from the mug with your face on fire, it tastes even better than when you make it for yourself. You slip out of the room when a crackle of feedback attracts Jake’s attention. It doesn’t occur to you until you’re sitting in your chair and staring at the after-action reports of the Uranium Mission that you’re placing your mouth exactly where his was in an indirect kiss.

For the rest of the afternoon, you find your mind tracking to green eyes and a sweet smile bared genuinely in your direction. Your brain feels like a stuck record, trapped futilely in the crosshairs of his gaze from when he’d been teasing you about your coffee preferences.

Worse than the bonfire lighting up in your stomach, there’s the guilt swarming in your belly after what happened. What happened with Jake in the ready room could classify as cheating, right? You’re not exactly sure because you’re not the most experienced. You also don’t want to tell Bradley because what if you have been unfaithful to him? You can’t confide in Natasha either, because she’s Bradley’s best friend.

Suddenly, your coffee goes from tasting like god’s ichor to tasting like ash on your tongue. Fucking Jake Seresin. Why did he have to go out of his way to make your life miserable?

4. A North Island Night Out

The more time you spent around Bradley Bradshaw, the more it felt like you could fall in love. Bradley’s sweet and kind, and he never once makes you feel bad about your career choice. Sometimes, in those long afternoons stuffed inside a hangar with ceiling fans barely pushing at stagnant air, you wish you could say the same about Jake Seresin. The worst part is how he has reasons to be as cocky and arrogant as he is. He flies his jet like a man possessed, or maybe like a man with nothing to lose. Some of you can’t help but wonder what you would have faced if you'd been going out with Jake instead of Bradley. You're not sure you would have been enough to change his ways.

Bradley, on the other hand? He's like your knight in shining armor. He never minds your rambling or how you babble when you get sucked into a conversation. In fact, you'd argue that Bradley Bradshaw is the first person who has ever taken you seriously. He makes you feel superhuman, like there is never any problem you can't solve. His smile still has butterflies taking flight in thick, cloying swarms in your stomach. He makes you laugh, and god when he kisses you? You feel radiant, like one word will have you taking off faster than an F-18.

A part of you can’t believe him, even now. He hadn't laughed when you'd told him how inexperienced you were, in truth, what you wanted him to give you for your first time.

“Fuck, sweetheart.” He'd groaned into your ear, “Just let me make you feel good, on your terms, as fast or slow as you want me to be.”

You know what he's offering. As fast or slow as you want me to be is his way of telling you to take your time. But you're sure you will explode if you have to make out with Bradley Bradshaw again while rubbing a wet patch into the thigh of his jeans, while his fingers massage over your nipples and his tongue tangles languidly with yours.

You’ve had sex with him before, the sweet, gentle missionary kind. In fact, you’d argue that it was the perfect way to lose your virginity. But you can’t help but wonder if there isn’t more to sex with a man you love than a few slow moments in bed. You’re not even sure you orgasmed that night, or at least, it never felt like how you’ve made yourself climax. But ever since then, he’s kept you at arm's length. Sex was supposed to be the last step before all of the walls came down between the two of you. Maybe you can finally get Bradley to give you what you want, then? If only this date weren’t starting at The Hard Deck, though if you think back, most of yours do. It’s not like the Hard Deck isn’t a nice bar - it is. But The Hard Deck isn’t the most romantic of venues.

When you drive up to the Hard Deck in your little car at promptly six in the evening, you’re dressed to the nines, wearing a cute little sundress with a flared skirt and fitted bodice. It pushes your tits up and is nearly completely backless. You’re not wearing much under the dress, just a little lace-edged thong and strappy heels elevating you a few inches. Stepping through the door, it seems like the entire bar falls silent. For several long moments, all you can hear is the tapping of your heels against the floor. People seem to float out of your way as you greet Penny, grabbing your drink from her, a soda in a glass bottle dripping condensation, and walk towards the pool tables in the back of the bar.

Heads turn as you walk past, and you can feel a smug smile curl your lips. On any other night, the arrangement of the Daggers around the pool table would have been normal. You’d be joining them by now, taking your place next to Bradley to hang besottedly on his every word. You’d be the only one not in uniform.

Tonight, there isn’t a uniform in sight. Tonight, you’re dressed to impress. But you’re not dressed to impress the other Daggers, only Bradley. You hope your sexy little dress will be enough to have the romantic moment you’ve been longing for, finally. All your boyfriend needs to do is turn around and see you.

Nat and Bob confer in hushed tones as Bradley racks up against the pool table with the cue in his hand. He’s wearing those jeans that you adore, the pair that fits like a glove and with fabric so worn that it’s soft against your hands. Hangman and Coyote are on the other side of the pool table, identical frowns on their faces as they strategize over the configuration of the balls on the worn felt emblazoned with jets.

But it’s Hangman who sees you first with a clattering of his cue as it impacts the floor. His eyes bug out, mouth parting as his eyes rake over you from head to toe. His reaction causes silence to ripple outwards with him at its epicenter. Dagger after Dagger pauses to stare at you. It’s a gratifying feeling. Nat and Callie wink at you, and Nat carefully prods a pink-cheeked Bob into resuming their conversation. The only person arrayed around the pool tables who doesn’t seem to know you’re there is the man you dressed up for. Jake is nearly mute as you clack forward, sipping on your drink greedily because something about his gaze has you feeling hot and flushed. The only time he backs off is when Bradley seems to realize you’re right there.

“Fuck, baby.” Your boyfriend groans in your ears. His voice makes your skin flare hot, and a desperate ache starts between your legs. “Look at you all pretty and gorgeous for me. Let me finish this last round, and then I’m all yours.”

One round turns to two, and then three, and before long, you’re left all alone in a corner of the bar while the Daggers, including Bradley, party like you don’t exist. All of that effort to make it a romantic night, and you’re sitting here like you don’t exist. If you have to watch another badge bunny drape herself all over your boyfriend, you are going to scream or do something drastic. Maybe making out with Jake will get his attention.

“It’s a shame, you know?” You nearly topple off of your stool at the words emanating from next to you. “You look so pretty, Bitsie, and Bradshaw can’t even open his eyes to see his girl waiting for him.”

Hangman sounds so sure of you, so sure that you’re better than Bradley Bradshaw deserves.

“He just wanted to grab another drink.”

“That was three hours ago, Bits.” When Jake chuckles, you can feel your hackles raise. “Didn’t you have dinner reservations or something like that?”

Before you can respond, because yeah, you did, Bradley’s standing there.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Bagman?” Bradley is slurring his words, listing from side to side as he stares the other man down.

“She’s mine, Bagman. Don’t you forget it!”

“If she’s yours, why are you ignoring her and walking around with badge bunnies draped all over ya?”

You can tell by how red Bradley’s face gets that he is one more word from launching himself at Jake. You’re unsure what prompts you to step in, but you do, sliding your hand up to the sweaty curls at the base of your boyfriend’s neck and whispering into his ear. You breathe your need, your want for him, into his ears. You have to ignore the scent of alcohol and sweat wafting sour from his skin, but you succeed in grabbing his attention.

But a part of you wishes your seductive ploy hadn’t.

You got your wish; your need to have sex with your boyfriend granted. But it’s not anything like you expected it to be. Bradley left bruises on your skin and bruises on your heart. He’d been rough with his touch and his words. But more than that, you can’t help but wonder if this would have happened with Jake. If he’d make you feel better than Bradley ever could. Isn’t sex supposed to feel good?

Faced with Bradley’s fumbling, you’d been anything but wet between your legs. You’d only started to get there when you thought, selfishly, of Jake. There was no foreplay, no making sure you’re alright. No kissing, no touching. There were no hallmarks of any of the care and gentleness Bradley usually treats you with. The whole experience has you feeling worse than you did in the car as he called you a slut for talking to a colleague and friend. Slut. It’s a word he’d used often with you in bed that night, too. A word that makes you feel guilty, dirty, and disgusting all at once.

What does it say about you that you had to think of a colleague and friend to get wet instead of your boyfriend?

Whether you realize it or not, that’s the first crack in the shaky, perhaps already crumbling, foundations of your relationship with Bradley Bradshaw.

5. After Bradley Bradshaw

You have work to do; you know you do. But it’s been under a day since you told Jake Seresin how your relationship with Bradley Bradshaw imploded easier than if it had been bombed. Realizing Nat had known, known what he did and condoned the betrayal, his cheating, is another stab to the back that you weren’t expecting. You can't believe how Bradley could harbor less remorse and guilt over having sex with Britney than you did over some harmless, practically meaningless flirting.

What happened to ‘sisters before misters’ and all sentiments to that effect? You’re thankful, truly thankful, that Jake didn’t know and that Mickey and Mara were unaware as well. Being so far away from North Island has given you a sense of clarity you never thought you were missing.

You’d be lying if you said Jake Seresin doesn’t have something to do with your newfound clarity, too.

One night, a bushel-load of tears and an unburdening of your heart, and he’s already raised himself in your esteems. It’s in how he’d listened to you, which has your thoughts spinning. Back when your relationship with Bradley was still rock solid, you'd thought Bradley was the only man who could make you feel like the most important person in the world. But you didn't realize how often Bradley’s eyes would glaze over when you got excited. You’re not sure you’ve ever been able actually to talk to your ex.

Jake let you cry, cry like you’d lost your reason for living. He’d held you while your suppressed grief had unleashed. He’d heard you spill your heart out to him and release all of your pain into the squalling storm winds. Then there was the rage in his face, in his voice, the rage he’d held tightly coiled in the corded muscles of his arm, in the jut of his proud jaw, when he found out Bradley had broken you, dominated your spirit, for a bet.

You’re not sure why he’s been so nice. He has nothing to gain by being kind to you. He didn’t when he wanted to get you off deck in the middle of the storm last night. Though uncharitably, you’re sure he’d likely wanted you off deck so he could get off deck himself. He didn’t have to make you a cup of coffee or raid his own special stash of granola bars, either. But more than anything, you’d love to know why he let you cry snot and tears all over his uniform when it was well past lights out. You keep thinking back to how it felt to be in his arms, how good it felt.

Unbidden, you pull out the paper Jake had handed you while you were eating lunch in the commissary with Mara and Mickey. It’s nothing special, just a note written in ballpoint pen on run-of-the-mill lined notebook paper. The paper is silky smooth against the pads of your fingers, the edges ragged like he’d ripped the page out of a notebook he had lying around. You can feel the indentations the pen had left on the other side of the page. You can see how the letters slur across the page as he’d written, the ink smudging imperceptibly as he wrote hastily. They’re just lyrics transcribed on the page, and they shouldn’t be thought-provoking.

It’s from a song you’ve heard a thousand times before, played ad nauseam on the radio with a catchy tune getting stuck in your head. More than the song lyrics, it’s the thought behind those lyrics. Honestly, you’re not sure how he got them for you. He called his sister in the middle of the night when he likely had to get special permission to do so just so he could get some stupid lyrics for you.

You can still see the twinkle in his eyes as he blushed crimson. He’d seemed proud, proud he was the reason for your laughter, proud that he’d pulled the wool from your eyes and showed you how ill Bradley had actually treated you. That look on his face made you feel like levitating.

You can’t deny it anymore. Bradley Bradshaw may have made butterflies swarm in your stomach, but Jake Seresin made you feel like lightning arcing through the air. He makes you feel wild and free.

+1. The Day Easton is Born

A part of you feels like you should be angry that it took only four years before you stopped being the sole item of your husband’s attention. But you’d be lying if you didn’t feel the same way that Jake did, especially because the cute little thing that’s caught his attention has caught yours, too.

He’s about four hours old with squishy cheeks, a red face, and a voice that would make his daddy proud. You’re sure that his voice is just like his dad’s, but you can’t say you’ve ever heard Jake’s voice ever hit the octaves this adorable sweetheart hits. It hurts a little bit that you’ve been ordered not to move, too, because everything in you is itching to pick your baby up and hold him in your arms. But Jake’s on baby duty at the moment. If it’s a poopy diaper, you’re more than ready to let him take that burden on.

You tilt the bed up until you’re reclining and tip your head gently to the side until you see the heart rate monitor reassuringly blinking your vital signs at you. When you turn your head to the other side, Jake's standing over the small changing table in your room, leaning down and looking into it. His face looks gentler than you've ever seen it, soft, like a man stripped bare to his basest parts. He has no walls up, no fears, just wonder as he stares down at the little bed. Well, maybe he’s looking a little less awestruck and a little more disgusted because your newborn son does, indeed, have a soiled diaper.

He’s not wearing a shirt. This fact doesn't surprise you because Jake wanders around your house half-naked all the time. At the same time, you’re both in a hospital, and it’s at least 10 degrees colder than it should be. You’re wrapped up in a soft pajama set and wearing a thick cardigan, but you’re still cold. When Jake hefts the small wriggling body of your son into his arms and settles him against his chest, now clean, your heart swells. The baby coos, a little snuffling exhale of breath that squeaks a little as he settles into Jake’s arms. Jake doesn’t seem to realize that you’re awake, either.

“Awww, hey, Buddy.” His voice is a tender rumble, big hands cradling precious cargo with the same surety he flies his jet. “Let’s not wake up Mama, huh? She’s so tired.”

“You took us by surprise, our sweet boy. We weren’t expecting you to show up in the middle of a Longhorns game, for sure. I will say that your arrival was a little more exciting than a game-winning touchdown. I wonder if your Uncle Javy will let Daddy watch the game on his DVR when you’re home? In any case, I do not look forward to replacing my Longhorns rug. You had to pick that rug to make your appearance on, didn’t you? Say, East, what’s the likelihood that your Mama would let me keep it if I wash it off?”

You have to stifle your snickers because the baby chirps and half burps in response. You can vaguely see the dark blue of the baby’s eyes as he blinks in Jake’s firm hold. East’s lips purse and part, and you know it’s only a matter of time before you’ll be in need again. But you’re so in love, and hearing Jake talk to your son might be your newest favorite thing.

“Yeah, I had that feeling. You’ll learn sooner or later that your Mama’s words are law. She’s going to be the disciplinarian between the two of us, for sure. You’re already wrapped around my fingers. I’m not sure I could tell you no for anything.”

He sighs, sounding choked up as he trails a finger down the baby’s soft cheek. “I’ve got so much I want to teach you. How to smile and utilize those perfect Seresin dimples. How to talk your way out of any problem you face. How to make your Mama smile (and maybe cry) every Mother’s Day as we show her how amazing she is.”

He presses a soft kiss to the top of the baby’s head and rocks slightly back and forth on his heels, an action that doesn’t soothe your son even a little. East is squalling already, and you have a feeling he will ratchet up a bit higher in volume if he doesn’t get what he wants.

“Hey, Cowboy.” Your voice is soft as you get Jake’s attention.

“Morning, Bitsie-baby.” His smile is wide as he stares down at you.

“There’s no way it’s morning, Jake.” He shrugs and rocks back and forth a little more as the baby objects a little louder with each sway. “And gimme my son.”

Jake smirked as he transferred the baby, eyes softening as you situated East against your chest, snickering as the baby latched hungrily onto your breast for his midnight snack.

“So he’s your son when you want him, but he’s mine when he’s got a nasty diaper?”

“Sounds about right, Seresin.”

“Well, he’s a Seresin, alright.” Jake snickers when you swat at his abs. “Made right for your tits, and aren’t they a pretty sight.”

“Not in front of the baby, Jacob.”

“Well, I dunno when I’m going to see them again one on one!”

“Try me when East’s two years old. Because I’m going to need that long to recover from having your big-headed child.” Your voice is as dry as the Sahara Desert as you laugh at your husband.

“Fair enough.” He tucks a wild strand of hair behind your ear and settles on the edge of the hospital bed. You snuggle into his side as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Have I told you how beautiful you look today?”

“I’ll take beautiful over the complete mess I probably am.”

“You look gorgeous, Bitsie!”

You snort. “Jake, I haven’t showered in 48 hours, I was in labor for most of it, and I just had a baby. So what about me looks beautiful to you at this moment?”

“Everything.” He presses a gentle kiss to your temple. “You’ve given me the best things in my life. You gave me your heart and a second chance with you. You gave me a family in you and our little Easton. You’ve changed my life.”

“If I didn’t find you gorgeous because of all of our relationship, then I’d definitely argue it is the memory of the lingerie you were wearing under your dress at last year's Navy Gala.”

“I think that lingerie was pretty life-changing for both of us, Cowboy.” You cradle Easton close and gesture for one of the many burp cloths arrayed on the table on Jake’s other side. “I’m about 90% sure that was the night we made East.” You pat the baby’s bottom gently, grimacing when he lets loose a surprisingly loud belch before cooing angelically. “Well, you certainly burp like your dad, don’t you?”

“Hey!” Jake tugs the baby out of your arms, swaying side to side as the baby’s eyes droop closed. He snuggles East close before laying him into the crib. You watch approvingly as he pulls the crib closer, the same worries about your newborn son in his mind as yours. “I’ll have you know, kiddo, that your mama loves my burps.”

“Don’t lie to our son. He’s not even a day old, Seresin, and you’re already lying to him!”

“Am I lying if I’m telling him the truth? His mama does love me.” You wrap your arms around his waist as he settles back into the hospital bed next to you.

“Yeah, she does.” You kiss his torso, nuzzling in close as he holds you close.

“I love you so much, Jake. I fell in love with you a long time ago, and I’m not likely to stop now. Having this,” you gesture to the hospital room at large, “is better than my best dreams. Though, I would prefer it if you could convince your mom and sister to let us have some time with East alone before they descend on us.”

“You got it, beautiful.” He runs his hands gently up and down your back. God, you're not sure you can give him up, not anymore. Right now, you're pretty sure that if Jake gets out of the hospital bed, you'll freeze solid.

“You were always my dream, Bitsie baby. Forever and always.” You barely hear the words, sleep pulling you under riptide-fast. But a part of you knows Jake doesn't mind. It's always been a not-so-secret fantasy of his, having his family at arm's reach.

Honestly, you could get used to it too. Your Jake Seresin pillow is the best of the best, after all.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN ON AO3, ON WATTPAD, OR ON TUMBLR BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN AO3, ON WATTPAD, OR TUMBLR, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

Taglist:

@greenbaby12 @eli2447 @the-romanian-is-bae @luckyladycreator2 @lunamoonbby @angeliccks @daisydaisygoose @inky-sun @fighterpilothoe @pulisvertz @wildxwidow @angelbabyange @chaoticassidy @kmc1989 @dempy @shanimallina87 @abaker74 @desert-fern @horseshoegirl @dakotakazansky @sarahsmi13s @teacupsandtopgun @callsignspitfire @roosterforme @mak-32 @beyondthesefourwalls @thedroneranger @cherrycola27

#star writes #you play stupid games you win stupid prizes #top gun fanfic #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfic #top gun maverick fanfiction #hangman x reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #past rooster x reader #past bradley bradshaw x reader #past bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster is a dick #he's not the greatest in this #top gun imagine #top gun angst

113 notes · View notes

pikahlua · 5 months

Note

OK, I'm someone who's been gunning for the "Katsuki's villain foil is All For One" probably longer than anyone, been theorising this for over a year, and I have dozens of drafts abt it (I just turned on anon, my MHA account isn't my main anyway so...) and I never posted because it was getting too long. I think I had these since Bakugo died? If I had posted them with me saying "Bakugo will fight AFO at the end of this!", y'all would've called me crazy. Y'all could've called me a madlad, but noooo, it happened LOL

I think a few people have already noticed parallels, as there are some parallels in Yoichi and AFO's interactions Bakudeku in Ch 193. I noticed them too, and there were a few posts going around abt it, never realising the implications (since it would mean that AFO is the villain foil as he's the only one who had such similarities to Bakugo).

I mean chapter kept putting Yoichi and Midoriya together, obviously connecting the two. But where does that put AFO?

Bakudeku can be considered "siblings" since they knew each other for as long as they can remember. One was gifted and strong, while the other was quirkless. The gifted one telling the other that since they're quirkless, they can't achieve their dreams (Compare Ch 1 Bakugo to AFO's statement about Yoichi).

Yes, people are saying that AFO is terrible and Bakugo shouldn't be compared. But I think that's exactly what makes them foils. Horikoshi described Bakugo as the "light that would never surrenders to the dark", and AFO is the complete opposite, someone I would describe as "the darkness that never comes to the light".

They're the ultimate representation of "good vs evil", and that's why Horikoshi had pitted them against each other.

And AFO being Bakugo's foil makes sense as it goes in line with something Best Jeanist has said in the past. "What makes the difference between Heroes and Villains?" The villain foil theme actually started with Bakugo.

What makes AFO and Bakugo mirror each other? Look at how AFO looks down on the weak, calling them all "extras", the way he called Bakugo a "pebble in his path" the same way Bakugo did.

Rather than motivations and origins, it's through their behaviour especially towards others. AFO is more extreme, but he calls and views others that are "weaker" as "extras", he looked down on the person "closest" to him for his weakness. He once believed that "might makes right" and acts upon it. He view himself as "God". (Remember how Bakugo's hero name has "God" in it??? Hehe..)

And I feel that there would be more parallels between them once we get to see more of how AFO views Kudou, because he seems to be angered or even "threatened" by him in a similar sense to how Bakugo was to Midoriya. He is the extreme representation of Bakugo's past.

Katsuki means "victory over the self". Of course, the best way to finish your character arc is to beat up a character that represents your past LMAO

All through his arc, he had to see his weakness, and even through foils like Endeavor to face his mistakes. All For One is the final step.

Of course, for Bakugo to fight unwaveringly, he had to get his "rising" moment and also apologize to Midoriya. So that he can truly become the light that opposes the dark. To truly distinguish himself from the villain, like what Best Jeanist told him.

(Sorry if I got anything wrong, I was inactive around MHA for a while, so I could be misremembering, but hell yeahhh, this is what I've been waiting for lets gooooo!!!!)

I think you've got a lot of good stuff here, and yet... My apologies, anon, normally I wouldn't lead with this point I'm about to address, but I must address it first or else no one will read past this point and instead run to dogpile me in my askbox.

While I understand where you're coming from, it's just not tenable to argue the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki is akin to that of siblings.

Some people would make this argument from what may seem like a shipping standpoint, but I'm going to make it from a cultural one. At no point in the manga are Izuku and Katsuki ever referred to as nor behave as nor speak like they're family. There are important hierarchical and social expectations present in Japan for siblings that are different from what's expected of friends (note that even twins are still distinguished as the older and younger brother). Izuku and Katsuki treat each other as peers, social equals, NOT as a big brother-little brother dynamic. Their dynamic is best described as that of childhood friends. Childhood friends is an important trope in Japan, and one can't just gloss over it and pretend like siblings and childhood friends are equivalent or that they work the same as with western story dynamics. They're not and they don't.

And the social distance between Izuku and Katsuki is VITAL to the way their characters and relationship work. Izuku has to be unrelated to Katsuki--a "pebble in his path," some random extra--for Izuku's heart to shake Katsuki so badly, for the "meddling where you don't need to" theme to apply to Izuku rescuing Katsuki, for Izuku reaching out to be so offensive to Katsuki. So for reference, you can accurately describe this relationship parallel with Yoichi and AFO as "they knew each other since childhood," "they don't remember ever not knowing each other," "they have always been a part of each other's lives," etc. But I must stress the trope you're invoking here is childhood friends. It's okay, you don't NEED BakuDeku to be "like siblings" to make these parallels work. They grew up together, and that's sufficient.

Sorry to nitpick on that.

Anyways, I do think that there is something intentional on Horikoshi's part about Katsuki "Self-Victory" Bakugou facing off against All For One as if AFO is implied to be one of Katsuki's "selves" for him to defeat, particularly his old self he's already basically defeated in every sense except somehow fighting it out physically.

Can I tell you a secret though?

I'm not convinced MHA ends after Katsuki vs AFO and Izuku vs Tomura.

No, I don't mean like a falling action epilogue. I just mean...

Heroes Rising didn't end when Izuku and Katsuki sucker-punched Nine. It didn't end when Nine had been bested in fair combat. It ended after Nine employed a desperate gambit to win no matter the cost and became a giant purple butterfly rage monster.

What I'm saying is...I kinda think AFO will successfully transplant his quirk into Tomura or something.

#ask pika #anon ask #my hero academia manga spoilers #final arc spoilers #katsuki bakugou #all for one #sorry to use you as an opportunity to belabor the point anon #i needed to get this message out there for quite some time #<3 #my hero academia heroes rising

67 notes · View notes

mimicha-arts · 8 months

Text

Qian Jin

Hello and sorry. I’m here again with my “catch the details faster than the frame changes.” Let's talk about Qian Jin! I'm pretty sure we'll learn new information in the next episode because of the flashback, so I want to get ahead of things a little and play bingo ;)

SPOILERS FOR S2

1. Romeo and Juliet Many have discussed this, but we will go deeper. One of the main key points in the s2 is the Romeo and Juliet theme and poster, which we now know is related to Qian Jin's story.

In my opinion, his whole scene with the poster looked very personal, hardly just "symbolism" of his feelings after losing his wife or something like that. And here I will try to explain why. Because, most likely, the actress on the poster is Qian Jin's wife. Her name was shown for such a brief moment that I actually nearly lost my mind while trying to capture the frame. So, her name is probably Chen Nan (陈楠). And I really don't think it was necessary to include such details if they are minor.

Well. Pure speculations. We all remember that initially everything was wrong with the case, the suspect in the murder of Qian Jin‘s wife after some time committed suicide and left a note with a confession. Although I can read some words, I can't rely on my eyes, so I can't string them together into complete sentences. But what I can guess is that there are two characters in the signature, and the surname kinda looks like Zhuang (庄).

So. Which character also has the surname Zhuang, who has already been "shown" in the series… On the same poster of "Romeo and Juliet", where the actress, theoretically, was Qian Jin's wife… Yeah. Zhuang Shuai (庄帅)

Okay, this could all be a coincidence, my imagination, speculation. But is these details actually connected, for now, until this has been refuted, I suspect that the story of the murder of Qian Jin's wife was much more personal and deep. Like, now we are convinced that after he found out about Cheng Xiaoshi's ability, his motivation is obviously to capture Cheng Xiaoshi in order to rewrite the past. Likely to save his wife (?). But I'm not sure how much more complex it will be?

If any of this is confirmed, I rather think that Qian Jin's wife was killed by Zhuang Shuai out of jealousy. I also need to say, for now I don't think that 戴绿帽子 is a possible situation here, seems TOO cruel for me, but who knows.

2. Qian Jin and details Eyes. We were all confused because Qian Jin's eyes were not common, but icy yellow. In fact, his eyes can be said to have three states. I also note that sometimes pupils are not drawn or too small because of 2D graphics, so I take into account only obvious close-ups. First type: present, yellow eyes with a vertical pupil. We see that kind of his eyes in most of his scenes. The same type of eyes are in his character design pictures and intro.

Second type: present, yellow with a round pupil. This type of eyes appears specifically in episode 4.

(Technically) third type: the past, yellow eyes with a round pupil. In all the close-up scenes in flashbacks, his pupils are round.

Abilities: It's hard to guess, but at the moment I don't think he personally has any special abilities. It seems to me, given his one line, that Qian Jin relies more on his skills, plans and his people, treating abilities (at least in this situation) in a rather lenient way. Also, his real words sound more special and poetic - If there is a way to reach the sky, it will be difficult to fly away even with wings (friendly reminder, I'm not a translator or native speaker)

But there is one dubious detail. OK. Speaking of gloves, he probably uses gloves to avoid accidentally touching Li Tianchen and getting controlled, which is a pretty logical conclusion after episode 8. But. At some point, while talking to Li Tianchen, when the frame points to Qian Jin, there is a rather small movement of the hand and the sound of either the rustle of clothes, or the sound of something being handed over (ep 7, 1:22-1:28). This was weird.

This may be a trick, but at some point, when it gets to 7pm, Qian Jin claps his hands. And given to Cheng Xiaoshi's abilities, we know that clapping can be a means of activating/disabling an ability.

Speculation: Since we can't fully rely on changing the shape of the eyes, pupil, eye color, due to the change in visual "rules" compared to season 1 + animation errors, but for now I'll make assumptions.

In fact, in some of these scenes, Qian Jin may be possessed by Cheng Xiaoshi (which is trite, but possible)

Someone uses their abilities on Qian Jin, they are in cooperation. This person either possess him either they watches events through Qian Jin's eyes from time to time, as if through a camera.

Qian Jin gave something to Li Tianchen in the car, and that will play a role in the plot.

The change of eyes is an attempt to show the change in his personality, but I don't think it's that simple.

3. Something beyond my understanding

The man with a hat. They are obviously connected, and I already wrote a big theory about this, if the man in the hat turns out to be Liu Xiao, let's not dwell on this, if you want to read, click on - Person in the shadows.

Dates In his intro, although there is some information, as always, the year is not indicated. Obviously, the current year is still 2021 (according to s1). But in the second season, we are not shown specific dates anywhere (even with the twins, although we can find out their year of birth by literally subtracting 19), and here. There is an event, there is a blurry date. Not specified. I guess something is wrong with time already or is this a hint that it doesn’t matter, because the events are looped / will be erased.

Player and music And probably the most ??????? thing. When Qian Jin is in the car, there is a VERY short frame before he takes the call. If you catch it... here is a player on the screen. The music is Symphony of Fate (生命交响乐). And the player does not have a "back" button, only forward.

Time is like music, yeah. Thank you for reading once again ~ I hope episode 9 gives us more information and answers some questions though… *cries*. Feel free to discuss!

#link click #link click s2 #link click spoilers #shiguang dailiren #qian jin #mimicha.lc #my moment of insanity

145 notes · View notes

strangerquinns · 10 months

Text

Deadly Reunion| Chapter 14

Eddie Munson x female!reader // a stranger things apocalypse au

summary: You and Eddie have been best friends since childhood. But when the outbreak happened five years ago, you were torn from one another in the chaos. but now you’re left alone, after your group was killed by another radical crew, leaving you to seek out what was once home. // zombie apocalypse Hawkins set in 1993

warnings: angst + adult themes w/ descriptions of violence, blood, torture + other zombie apocalypse related issues (no use of y/n)

word count: 3.6k+

⪻ previous chapter | next chapter ⪼ | stranger things masterlist

The entire group stayed on top of the apartment building a few blocks from downtown till the security of nightfall washed over the town. Steve and Eddie stood together toward the front of the building with a pair of binoculars as they spoke to each other. You watched the two of them interact and could see they were obviously good friends.

Though Steve was the leader of the team, Eddie was obviously his right-hand man.

“Alright,” Steve spoke as the two turned toward the rest of you. “They are camped toward the North side of the town, with a small patrol group headed toward the south side. South is where we need to leave to head back to Camp.”

“There are a few on rooftops, but if we’re quick and silent we can make it past them. We’re going to move in groups of three. Make it easier and less likely to be spotted.” Eddie finished, his face cast in deep seriousness. Then you could see more of the man Eddie had become and less of the boy you remembered. “Steve is going to head out first with Steph and Patrick. Argyle you’re going to lead the group with Denise and Fowler.” Eddie’s eyes moved to you, and you saw the slight turn of his lips, before speaking your name, “…Robin and Nancy are going to come with me. We’re moving second since we’re the larger group.”

“We’re going to need to be vigilant, and make sure we’re looking out for these people and each other. There are also flayed down there, not many, but some that are moving through back parts of the town.” Steve sighed heavily. “Try and only use your knives if needed, gunfire is only going to draw attention where we don’t want it.”

You looked around and saw that everyone seemed to be in the same somber mood that you were feeling. A part of you was scared, you weren’t going to lie to yourself about that. Since the last time you had a run-in with these people, those you cared about most were taken away.

Everyone moved from the place they’d been resting for the moment and started to split off into their groups. You wanted over to Eddie with both Nancy and Robin at your side. You could read the anxiousness all over Robin’s face and body language. You couldn’t help but reach over and give her hand a gentle squeeze. Her blue eyes shot toward you quickly, before a half smile spread over her lips.

“We’re going to be ok,” You spoke softly, seeing her shoulders relax slightly. “I’m not going to let anything happen to us, ok? We’ve got each other’s backs.”

“I know, I know.” Robin sighed deeply. “I’m a naturally anxious person, not gonna fully relax till we’re out of the clear.”

The sound of footsteps coming closer caught both of your attention, you turned away from Robin to see Eddie walking closer to you. He’d moved his bandana back around the lower part of his face and tied his hair back. His dark eyes stared down at you, and you even saw a bit of worry swimming around in them.

“Robin, gonna have you with Nancy. You two will have each other’s backs.” Eddie looked at you, “That’s gonna leave you with me, sweetheart. We’re gonna move together still, but I think having a partner also works in case we’re separated. If we do, meet at the main street where we came in.”

Robin nodded her head, “Got it, Munson.”

Each group returned down the fire escape at the side of the building. Steve’s group leaves first, with you and your group following closely. You gripped tightly to the knife you held in your hand with your other hovering over the handle of the gun you had tucked in your waist. Eddie stepped forward first, leading the three of you, with you close behind him.

From a distance, you could hear the noise of the radical group that was more up north like Steve said. You moved quickly, and as quietly as you could, down the street with your bodies pressed tightly against the buildings.

Even with the night falling over the town and casting it in darkness, you used the darker shadows of the abandoned buildings for more cover. When the four of you turned around the corner down the alley you, Robin, and Eddie had come up earlier, you all paused for a moment. Your eyes scanned over seeing the bodies of Flayed lying across the back alley, and the further forward you looked, the more you saw.

“Jesus fuck,” You whispered with a groan, your face screwing up with disgust. The smell of the bodies hits you almost instantly. You pulled up the collar of your shirt to try and mask the smell, but it was useless against the pungent stench.

“They destroyed through the pack,” Robin spoke, her voice tight with her face matching yours. “With the amount dead, this group has to be bigger than we thought.”

“More reason for us to get the fuck out of here,” Nancy spoke from behind Robin.

Eddie nodded his head before moving forward more toward the main street. But it wasn’t long till the sound of gunfire caused the four of you to freeze. Everything around you felt like it froze for a moment as ice seemed to rush through your veins.

“Steve,” Nancy whimpered.

Eddie scrambled and reached through his pack for his walkie, before pressing down on it and calling out. “Munson reaching out, anyone?”

“Argyle here, man, gunfire coming from further forward, copy.”

“Harrington?” Eddie called out, but there was a response. “Fuck,”

More gunfire rang out from the direction you all needed to go, in the same direction Steve and his group were leading.

“We need to go and help them,” Robin spoke with her voice straining.

“We need to come up with a plan.”

You reached quickly for your gun, checking the barrel before closing it, “The plan is to fucking get out of here alive, and not leave our friends to fend for themselves.”

Eddie called your name as you quickly turned the corner, gun raised as you headed toward the noise. It wasn’t too far ahead you saw the parks of bullets hitting against the side of buildings and breaking glass joining in with the noise. Your gaze moved up and you saw someone sitting on top of a building, gun pointed down the street.

You didn’t think.

You didn’t hesitate.

Not caring what they were shooting at, cause in your mind, it was made up it was your people.

So, you aimed and fired.

The first bullet was missed. You saw the person rise up slightly and turn in your direction. You took that as your chance, your target becoming clearer, before firing again.

Their head was knocked back by the force before their body disappeared.

“Are you fucking insane!” Eddie’s voice came up from behind you.

You just glared at him before moving forward more, now with the three others beside you. The clear emotion of him being pissed at you was all over Eddie’s face, the bit you could see from the moonlight. But you didn’t care. He could lecture you later after you all were able to get out of here.

“Argyle speaking, moving further forward, coming from west.”

“Harrington, we’re taking cover, we’ve been spotted. Patrick’s been shot in the shoulder.”

“Munson moving forward, coming through the main street, where are you located Harrington,” Eddie spoke back through the walkie.

“Some hardware store, we got spotted by four,” Steve replied.

“Make that three, one was taken out,” Eddie responded.

The three of you came up along where the side alley met with the main street. You saw where the gunfire was coming from and could see the three others Steve was speaking of, and it looked like they were returning fire. Again, you moved with instinct and checked the opposite side and saw no one was approaching. So you pushed forward, with Robin moving with you. Her shotgun was raised as she pointed and shot forward. Now the attention was on you.

“Foreigners!” One of them shouted out before the bullets were headed in your direction. "Call for backup!"

You ducked behind a mailbox and could hear the bullet hitting against the rusted metal before you popped back up and returned fire. Another dropped.

“We need to push toward the warehouse,” Eddie spoke, moving swiftly along the fronts of the buildings, ducking behind what he could.

Your heart felt like it was going to rip from your ribcage with how hard it was pounding with the adrenaline rushing through your veins. A part of you knew, deep down, you were being reckless with how you were moving. But you didn’t care, because these people killed your family – and were not trying to take your new one from you.

One of the men came up beside you causing you to act fast, driving your knife into his neck and pulling his body down with yours. The gurgling sound of blood rushing through his airwave, causing him to choke on it, didn’t deter you. You didn’t feel anything, instead moving again as the backup of the radical group fell upon you.

Eddie was the first to make it to the warehouse with Nancy close behind them. You followed close behind Robin and stood within the doorway, trying to stay hidden as you saw another group sweeping through the street.

“We gotta go, man,” Eddie spoke, watching as Nancy patched up Patrick’s arm, “We don’t stand a chance getting out of here if we fucking hesitate. This group is huge.”

“I fuckin’ know!” Steve spoke, the stress and realization of the situation clearly getting to him, “But our only way forward is going to give us less and less coverage. We can’t risk it; we could lose people.”

“We don’t really have a fuckin’ choice!” Eddie spoke.

A gunshot rang through the store causing everyone to duck down further than you all already were.

“Argyle reachin’ out man, we lost Fowler. Fowler is down, we’re pushin’ forward,” came through the walkies.

“We need to move now!” You called out, shooting back, but unable to see if you were even meeting your target. “I spot about fifteen.”

“This gunfire is going to cause Flayed to rush through this town again, we have to fuckin’ move,” Eddie spoke.

“Ok, ok!” Steve shouted before moving to help Patrick off the floor, “We head out first, you guys cover us, and we fuckin’ book it.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, that fear from before seemed to loom over everyone. Knowing, deep down, the chances of you all making it out of this was low.”

“We’ll cove you,” Robin spoke, shotgun already aimed forward as Steve moved closer toward the door.

You stepped out first and returned fire as you knew Steve was moving behind you down the street, his arm tight around Patrick’s waist as he helped the wounded man. From the other side of you, you saw Nancy step up beside you, giving more cover as the other exited the hardware store.

“Shit!” Robin screamed, her eyes wide as she looked to the other side of you, catching your attention and distracting you.

You whipped your head around to see a few Flayed stumbling and moving onto the main street, with one dragging its decayed leg behind him as he moved quickly toward Nancy. You screamed out her name as you fired toward the monster, the shot hitting its shoulder, causing it to slow. Nancy moved and set a shot through its head causing it to drop to the ground.

“We gotta move!” Nancy cried out.

Chaos erupted as the remainder of the Flayed stumbled out onto the streets with the draw of the gunfire pulling them. You didn’t make it far, maybe another block or so, till you felt a burning ripping feeling through your shoulder. It was enough to cause you to scream out in pain as it sent you to your knees. You heard someone call out your name as you fell against the asphalt and reached to grab for your shoulder. Quickly the familiar, sticky, feeling of blood coated your fingers.

“Fuck! Fuck!” Robin shouted as she moved beside you, bending down to grab your hand and move your fingers away. “Gunshot to the shoulder, but we gotta move, ok? We can’t stay here!”

“Robin!” Nancy yelled out.

Robin ignored your screams as she hauled you off the ground and back onto your feet. But neither of you made it far as the few flayed from before had caught up to you. You swallowed down the nauseous pain and tried to raise your other hand to fire, but every shot was missing.

“Run to catch the others,” Robin instructed.

“I’m not leaving you guys,” You whimpered out, crying out again as you sheathed your gun into your waist and grabbed your knife once more.

You bit down into your lower lip as the pain in your left shoulder moved through your body, as you drove your knife into the skull of the one coming toward you. The weight of it caused you to stumble slightly, as you ripped your knife out.

“Alright, let’s go!” Robin spoke as she took care of the last one, “I’m running low on ammo, we gotta get out of here.”

You and Robin watched as Nancy turned to follow the two of you, and then watched with horror, as a bullet split through the back of her skull. Her body dropped quickly with a sickening thud.

“Nancy!” Robin screamed, you stood there frozen for a moment.

Your eyes were fixated on the way her blood spilled and painted across the streets. Robin rushed toward her friend and bent down to move her onto her back. It was like Robin’s brain was allowing her to process what was happening. Her hands frantically moved over her friend's face.

Half of Nancy’s face was gone with a gunshot coming from the left side, where her eye once was.

“No, no…Nance! Oh, god.” Robin sobbed.

You looked to either side of you seeing the group moving closer with the flayed starting to take over the streets, while the other end showed that your group was ahead of you two. You seemed to move on autopilot with your brain only focusing on the survival aspect.

“Robin, Robin…we have to leave.”

Hearing your own voice had you thinking for a moment it wasn’t your own. Forgotten was the gunshot in your shoulder causing blood to drip down your arm and onto the ground.

“Robin.”

You grabbed her shoulder with your good hand, and she pushed back on you, crying harder.

“Robin! Come on!” You screamed, grabbing her harder and pulling her away from Nancy.

Robin worked quickly and grabbed up Nancy’s pack and her weapon, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stumbled away from Nancy’s dead body. You held Robin tightly against you as you moved down the street, keeping your bodies as close to the buildings as possible.

You shot one final look of your shoulder seeing Nancy’s fallen body once more, before turning the block.

“Holy shit!” Argyle spoke the moment you and Robin came into view.

Eddie raced toward you, “Fuck, sweetheart, fuckin’ scared me. I thought you were right behind me.”

His words quickly stopped the moment she saw the blood covering half your body, before seeing the distraught state that Robin was in.

“Guys, where’s Nance?” Steve’s voice spoke from behind Eddie.

You held onto Robin tighter as she seemed to cry a little harder. It made Eddie’s stomach twist to see your face nearly void of any emotion. Your blank gaze moves over his shoulder to Steve.

“She’s not with us anymore,” You spoke softly.

“They shot her, Steve! Fuckin’ shot her!” Robin spoke through broken tears.

“Fuck,” Argyle spoke, everyone else falling silent.

Steve seemed to swallow down his emotions for a moment, turning his gaze away as he stared down toward the ground.

“What the fuck happened to you, sweetheart,” Eddie spoke, his tone frantic and worried, as he stepped closer to you. His hand caressed over your shoulder causing you to hiss and cry with pain. “Shit…I-I should’ve checked that you were with me,” Sorrow filled his eyes as he stared down at you.

“I-I’ll be ok,” You spoke, pulling away from Robin, she stumbled toward Steve. The two of them held tightly to each other. You watched on and your heart broke for them.

“Come ‘ere,” Eddie spoke, grabbing off your jacket and exposing the gunshot more. You watched as he dug through his pack and grabbed some gauze, before grabbing a nearly empty bottle of alcohol. “This is gonna burn, but we gotta stop the bleeding.”

You nodded your head and braced yourself, as he poured over the wound. It burned for a moment before turning into a dull ache. He placed down a cotton pad over either side of the shot, before wrapping it over your shoulder with the gauze.

“We gotta head out,” Steve spoke, reaching up and wiping away the tears falling down his cheeks, keeping an arm around Robin. “W-We need to go before we spotted again.”

Everyone somberly nodded their heads before gathering close together heading away. Eddie kept you close to his side, reaching down and grabbing your hand on the other side of your wound. His eyes were heavy with sadness as he stared down at you. In his mind, he felt selfish to be grateful that it was Nancy and not you.

“You gonna be ok?” You asked, looking up to him.

Eddie nodded his head slightly, “Are you?”

Flashes of Nancy’s body dropping played through your mind again and it caused your chest to tighten slightly.

“I-I think so.” You whispered, moving closer to Eddie with your hand pulling from his so you could wrap an arm around his waist.

As you walked you could hear both Robin and Steve speaking to one another.

“We can’t leave her there, Steve,” Robin spoke softly, her voice cracking as she continued to cry. “We have to give her a burial.”

“I know, but we are outnumbered, once we get back to camp, we’ll see what the Chief says.”

You knew better than to speak up, knowing and witnessing yourself what others did with the death of those that weren’t their own. If Nancy wasn’t going to be eaten by the Flayed, she was most likely to be burned with any other dead. But you didn’t want to speak and take away the last bit from the two of them.

Death wasn’t something that was unheard of, especially in the state of the world now. But that didn’t mean it got easier.

It took four days for the rest of you to make it back to the camp. The moment you walked through the gates it seemed that the entire camp was there to greet you. The first thing you spotted when your eyes scanned over the crowd, was Mike. He stood off to the side toward the front, with his amputated arm wrapped up. He looked better, healthier than the last time that you’d seen him.

The reality of what had happened only hit harder as you saw the hopeful look in his eyes.

Chief stepped toward Steve and Eddie the further you all walked into the camp. You watched with saddened eyes as they talked with the Chief in hushed tones. You could see on the older man’s face the moment Steve broke the news of the loss of Fowler and Nancy.

“Nancy? Where is Nancy?” an older woman’s voice spoke up.

Looking over you saw an older woman step toward Hopper, her blonde hair was pulled back from her face, but even with the different colored hair, you saw the resemblance. This must’ve been Mrs. Wheeler. Soon enough Jonathan joined Mike with another boy. He was roughly the same height as Mike and stepped up to grab onto Mike’s hand tightly. Between the resemblance between him and Jonathan, this must’ve been his brother that you had not met yet.

“Where is my Nancy!” Mrs. Wheeler screamed more, the Chief gently guiding her away from everyone else.

Your eyes squeezed tightly as you heard the horrid, heartbreaking scream of a mother that just learned that her child was gone.

It brought tears to your eyes as you walked away.

You didn’t feel it was right of you to mourn with the others.

The pain in your shoulder became a dull ache and knew you needed to get to the medical wing. You stumbled past the crowd and through the main doors of the old Lab, heading in the direction of the Medic.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie called out as he rushed to follow after you. You stopped for a moment for him to catch up. “Turned around and you were gone, where are you goin’?”

“I-I thought I should get my shoulder checked out,” You spoke, clearing your throat a little. “I-It didn’t feel right…watching the Wheelers and everyone getting the news.”

Eddie nodded his head, “Come on, let’s get you taken care of.”

He reached down and grabbed your hand and pulled you down the hall. You fell to his side as the two of you walked, nuzzling your face into his t-shirt. With each step the two of you took the fatigue of the last week or so started to weigh heavy on your shoulder.

As you rested against him the tears came again, your heart aching for a girl you barely knew. Memories you thought you’d buried deep only ripping back up to the surface.

Well, that was...that. I realized my mistake in the last chapter of mentioning Nancy was with the group when previously I sent her home with Mike. But I changed that and now she's dead. I hoped you enjoyed it...next chapter is gonna be Reader and Eddie focused. Lots of comfort and cuteness I promise. Please leave your thoughts or come and chat! I love speaking with you guys about this and seeing your predictions/thoughts and such!

@mopeymopeymouse / @aris-house / @brxkenartt /@akiratoro420 /@stylesxmunson / @aactuaaltraash / @fandomgirl17 / @ches-86/ @chaoticcancer / @munsonology / @bellamy-barnes / @theonlyh3artbreaker / @idkidknemore / @familyvideowithsteve / @eddiesdingus / @thefemininemystiquee / @the-world-is-a-mess-and-so-am-i / @xdarkcreaturex / @lunr-flwr / @cherry-omi/ @im-emma22@munson-enthusiast / @munsonmecrazy / @jupitar-jul / @katiemrty/ @maddie-luvs-eddie /@eddiemusworld/ @ih3artdanielle / @eddiesguitarskills / @hargrovesswifee /@chaoticcancer / @rh1nestonecowg1rl / @atombombbibunny /@munson-enthusiast / @hellf-1-re / @fangirling-4-ever / @corrcdedcoffin /@sidthedollface2 / @emma77645 / @eddiiiieeee /@beep-beep-sherlock

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson au #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst #stranger things fic #stranger things au #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn x reader

143 notes · View notes