#i am also at the same time very sad we wont get a super tall abby | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jazajas · 4 years

Text

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

131 notes · View notes

mollydollyjournals · 3 years

Text

Everything feels so quiet again. I hate this about being nocturnal. At least during the day more people are around and online and I might have a little interaction. I wonder if I'll ever get my body clock to function on a 24hr schedule. Even as a child and teenager I've always had sleeping problems though. My body clock has always fought against regular timing. I definitely find it easiest when I'm actually excited to get up for something in particular, but that's not all there is to it. Besides that feels like a tall ask right now.

I've been crying a lot recently. I dont usually cry that much at all but the past month maybe, in increasing frequency, and the majority of the past few days, I'm always on the verge of or in tears. I'm on so much prozac I can sometimes feel it pushing me to just smile through it and do something, but I think my mind wins over it when it sees that my 5 minutes of positivity didnt bring luck like everyone says it will. I'm tempted to lower my dose just so I can at least be consistently sad. Part of me hopes I'd get bad enough to SH and do more noticeable stuff so someone will realise how I feel, but part of me knows that's not how itll work and I'll just do those things and feel even worse because I'm still by myself. Most of me feels guilty because that's the dramatic stereotype and nobody likes an attention seeker, but most of me also knows it's not socially acceptable to directly ask for help and support. The times I've said a thing about how bad I feel, very obviously in need of support, i havent got it. So if i did something more, i still wouldnt get it, but I'd just be bothering people even more by letting them see. But then maybe I'd actually get the balls to just end it properly and get it over with. But I also know I'm not someone who'd do something so final without exhausting all options first, which means I'd also say that more directly, and then the same issue applies.

I'm so sick of feeling like this. I feel like such a waste of space and it's the same problem where I need x to do y but I need y to get z and I need z to get x. Whenever I try to force myself to break that cycle alone, I burn out. I feel worse for the fact that I'm doing it alone. I feel like theres no point in achieving any of it if I'm still alone. I did so much growing up by myself and doing way too much and all it got me was a bit more time alive so I could watch everyone else actually live and realise how cut off i was. Last time i had a major breakdown i came out of it over time but i felt worse afterwards than before because of the fact that I'd had to deal with it alone. I felt resentful of all the people who saw me say outright on my social media 'I feel really terrible and I need support/dont think I can deal with this alone/etc' and either said nothing or just briefly acknowledged it then continued on. I didnt really get over it, I just stopped in the same way a baby learns to stop crying eventually if nobody comes. So i came out of the breakdown with the resentful and anxious feeling that i cant really rely on anyone and am truly alone.

Now I'm so much more sensitive. Of course I'm more sensitive. I'm scared this is more permanent mental shit that I wont be able to get rid of. I cant stay like this forever. I never used to be this bad. But I had some outlets at least, and some hope that it might be different at some point. Now it feels like I'm just so worn out and I need to rest and be protected but the longer I go without it the more I need and the more impossible it gets and then I feel like theres no point in trying because theres no way to fix the cycle. Not without some anime-level miracle.

All I can do is drink and hope I get distracted by something else for a while. Hope I get chatty and confident enough to send the first messages and make the first posts, hope the audience happens to be responsive. Hope I come up with some kind of idea that'll keep me busy and entertained.

There was a day a few months ago where I drank a lot over the course of a day, and I started getting really bad palpitations where my heart was stopping for a few seconds at a time and restarting painfully. It especially stopped whenever I lay down and kept still, ie when I was trying to sleep. I thought I was probably going to die in the night so I wrote out a little note on my phone just in case. But I was kind of happy about it. For whatever reason, a few friends had been online and we'd all talked a lot, and I'd had things to do, and we talked about what we were doing throughout that day, and we all screwed around and shitposted, and it was just nice. It didnt feel so much like quarantine as just long distance friends and I felt like if that was gonna be my last day then so be it.

Of course, I didnt die. It turned out my meds needed adjusting so I did that and the palpitations lessened. I kind of wish I did just die. I guess it's morose. But it would have taken the guesswork and worrying out of all this. I'm just so tired. Its not that I dont want to get better and enjoy life. I just dont know if I can. I dont know if theres too much damage been done. I was already a difficult case before the pandemic but it's really fucked me over a lot and brought up a lot of old and new insecurities and I dont know if I'm really able to make the transition to something normal and okay.

My heart palpitations are bad again right now. Today it's because of restricting food. Theres some kind of weak heart trait in my family so I've always had the occasional palpitation, but they get bad sometimes. It's not painful right now, just weak. If I breathe too deeply it loses rhythm. I keep beginning to hyperventilate from anxiety and my heart gets irregular and weird. Of course as I say that I get some pain.

I dont feel like I can eat more though. I did have a meal for dinner. Low calorie, but a meal. So my calories for today weren't super low. One thing that's always consistent about my thing with food etc is the control element. That when everything is bad, I need something to go my way, and this is all I can do. I dont know.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. Probably not. But I really want to. I really need to. It only takes small things, small distractions to keep me going. If I can just survive long enough to keep at some things to change my situation, maybe I can get out of this. But if I crack, I drink and binge and do other things that make me feel worse. I dont know. I'm trying to drag myself along but I guess it doesn't look like I'm doing anything at all.

3 notes · View notes

the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see · 3 years

Note

it’s been like forever since i’ve been to india and now all my cousins have children. yikes, i might have to invest in that rope hairband thing lol or maybe those child harnesses.

ahh you’re so right! like there’s so many family secrets that i didn’t know of until my grandma spilled the tea lmao.

ooh I’ve heard of aru shah, it was like published by rick riordan! I haven’t read it, but it seems super cool. the artwork for the books is so pretty though 🥺

i don’t think I’ve read the actual text but I’ve heard the stories growing up. i really want to read it on my own so i can get my own perspective on things.

i can’t believe you’re telugu and haven’t heard of dhee!! it’s a dance show and it’s been like running for 13 years?? i used to love it as kid, but the jokes are repetitive and kind of homophobic so yeah...

but dancee sounds cool and kind of similar to dhee lol

same!! i remember as a kid I always wanted a pen pal. handwritten letters make me soft cause like you took time of your day :)to write :) to me:))

also i can’t believe you like shadowhunters too. like stop, you’re stealing my identity. i do respectfully disagree malec in the books is so much better (even though i didn’t rlly watch the show, i just have a lot of opinions lmao)

completely unrelated, i am fully surprised that you’re 5’2 you give off tall person energy and i can say that cause i’m 5’8

mwah mwah (sorry this is so long and ily for putting up with my shit)

indi <3

actually. the summer we were planning to go was when the pandemic hit, and we cant go this summer either, so its been over three years (which i know isnt a lot compared to others, but due to covid and other things, there've been a lot of deaths in the family and i wont be able to go to their funerals and i need to stop talking about this or itll make me sad) and a lot of my friends got married 😔 some of them im okay with, but i have a few friends who are young and their husbands are iffy, and one friend im terrified for bc she just graduated seventh class and her dad married her off to a 40 year old and he does not seem like a good person, but i wasnt there to help and phone calls can only do so much. okay this is way too dark way too fast

lmao forget the grandmas, weddings are when the uncles open their mouths and spill every little secret their wives told them, i could make ten tv shows after spending half an hour with one uncle 😭

mhm, its by Roshani Chokshi but it was written under Rick Riordan Presents instead of her usual label, and you are soo right!! the covers are stunning, especially the one for the fourth book? could cry from the beauty (but maybe its bc John Rocco's interpretations of Rick's characters were ugly as fuck) (sorry John, your art style is cool but literally everyone hates how you drew nico)

no exactly, i do remember reading it but not any part of the stories that i havent heard from other people, so i want to read it on my own someday

i think i have vague memories of dhee, but i only recently started watching telugu shows lol. i watched this one called Nagini for a little while and that was cool but i lost interest when i came back to the us bc it was just too hard to find it. dancee+ is a bit homophobic, but there was one group who did vacking and one of the judges went on to explain the lgbtq+ origin of it and another judge joined in and no one was outright hostile about it, bare minimum i know, but it made me very happy

i knowww, i used to write letters to the universe when i was younger, mostly like "did you think i wouldnt notice. i just learned that word and now its everywhere. shut the fuck up universe." and did that up until seventh grade actually. you know, that was kind of cathartic, maybe i should start doing that again. listen here you little shit-

we literally... are the same person. i am having... a crisis

and idk i kind of swing back and forth between which one is better, but i usually say the show version is better bc alec never had that whole thing of trying to take away magnus' immortality after finding out how many people he'd been with like sir 😭✋🏽 he literally has been around since "the Dead Sea was a little pool of water feeling a bit poorly" (love that line). but also in the books theres a lot more development bc of that, plus we get to see their kids (max 🥺 and rafael that little bastard 🥺 aw remember when max said bapak for the first time 😭) and their wedding (idk if their wedding was in the show) so again, its back and forth. i havent actually seen the show either, so im probably not a valid person to have an opinion on this.

tall person energy just reminds me of finn and that whole "i know you" fiasco 😭 idk if you were there for that, i'll look back and see if i can link them in the next letter/ask/whatever this is *resists making a "what are we" joke*

you're 5'8??? *resists "hows the weather up there" joke* im trying my best to grow but im stuck i dont think ill be getting much taller than this 😔 im too old

mwah mwah mwah (three kisses bc i love talking to you and its not putting up with your shit, its a fun conversation and i wouldnt dream of doing anything else right now)

i love you indi <3

#asks #also i literally double everything you say and ramble on and on so dw im much worse #the tree speaks #indiphannon

1 note · View note

starryace · 5 years

Text

my personal introduction to vav

so i have a few friends who’ve been wanting to get into vav but dunno where to start so... i’ll just do this lil thing. obviously there’s gonna be my own opinions so don’t take everything i say to heart but like... here we go

vav (very awesome voice -- pronounced vee-ay-vee but i say vav bc im lazy) debuted in 2015, but when they debuted they had a different lineup. zehan, xiao, and gyeoul all left to pursue other activities. ziu, lou, and ayno joined the group in 2017! the fandom is called vampz because of the groups original concept but we don’t talk about that

* = pre-line up switch! | ** = without jacob (due to his participation in a chinese program)

more about the members under the cut!

st van (lee geumhyuk)

note: during updating i ended up having to redo this entire section bc my computer deleted it all... sigh.

everyone’s dad

kinda gives off party vibes, like a cool club dad, you know?

super duper soft :(( he laughs at everything and he loves gentle things and he may be the oldest but he’s babie

gets really embarrassed really easily and blushes and laughs it off

oh! he also laughs with like... his entire body ekhrbgj

tattoos! on his shoulder and right arm

full sleeve completed

self composed the track “im sorry” off of the thrilla killa album

he lived in china for 13+ years and can speak fluent (if not, almost fluent) chinese

he’s super good cook and he wanted to be a chef before becoming an idol

loves jacob :(( with all his heart

weird but he can drink a lot of water really quickly, that’s his special talent

got a dog with the group! her name is cash and she’s super cute

im sure there’s more but i got mad after my computer deleted everything so i’ll get back to updating this part when things dawn on me

baron (choi chunghyeop)

dancer extraordinaire! he actually used to be in a dance team before vav

smiley boy ;;;; literally he has the prettiest smile and the nicest teeth

he can play the piano and a lil guitar im p sure!

he’s honestly a lil shit but we love him anyway

he’s very mom like, and loves taking care of the members, but i spy with my lil eye someone a lil more mom-like but that comes later

he choreographed a cover of shape of you!

unfortunately, his mom passed away early this year (may she rest in peace).

his nickname is baby prince (from his mom) and it was because of his mom that he was able to become and idol

baron singing??? yes,,, yeS!! his voice is godsent istg

he loves loves loves music and dance

wont shut up about millennium dance studio

was the pizza delivery boy in minx’s why did you come to my home

has a very intensive skin care routine

he!! loves!! food!! constantly nomming

ace (jang wooyoung)

remember how i said how i thought there was someone more mom like? meet ace.

literally babies everyone

eSPECIALLY ayno + ziu (sometimes lou, when lou will let him)

sassy, diva, can also be a lil shit -- esp with baron... 92 line is just lil shit line

lil fucking tease, too--

he has an oral fixation-- licks his lips a lot no bueno for me

teal hair? god tier. senorita? also god tier. everything about him? god tier.

plays the guitar... see senorita

“you’re doing wonderful sweetie” but like... a living version of that

abs... abs for days..........

works out with jacob

dimples!! but it’s more prominent on the right cheek.

god he’s??? literally ethereal. like i can’t put into words how pretty he is

he ;;;; has the purest, most sweetest heart

they need to start letting ace have more lines bc omg his voice ;;;;;

really good with kids ;;;;; they love him

he’s a BIG flirt, it’s like when he opens his mouth the only thing he thinks to do is say “i love you” or “you’re mine” or smthn

Prince Wooyoung™

ayno (noh yoonho)

was on no.mercy -- still kinda keeps in contact with monsta x now (hims was lil babie minhyuk)

yknow how baron is dancer? so is ayno -- aYNO IS GOD TIER DANCER ok he ;;;;; ugh he’s literally so talented

he raps too! also god tier

hims a soundcloud rapper -- dropped zero coke (mixtape) and god that boy is talented

self composed their song touch you (aka one of my fave vav songs)

ace’s baby... really, he’s vav’s baby, but still

fake maknae to the max. it still baffles me that he’s older than the others ima list

hims also pretty shy, but it’s real cute ;;;;

lou has such a big fat crush on him and he’s always embarrassed by it

he zones out a lot and is very mellow & quiet until something inside him switches and then he’s like BAM loud and crackhead

ziu.... brings out... the crackhead in him lbr

former happyface ent trainee w/ ziu

puppy!

also really good with kids!! prolly bc he is a big kid himself erhbjeg

often writes his own raps for songs

jacob (zhang peng)

resting bitch face to the max

800% done with everyone’s shit

chinese member!

he was performing in a chinese show called all for one -- his team got eliminated (sad) but that means he’ll be returning to the group (happy!)

that’s why he wasn’t in so in love/thrilla killa/im sorry

hims loves his st van

he also eats... a lot.

ok but like... he works out with ace, right? boy has such chiseled and nicely defined abs, it pains me

he’s a happy lil sunshine boy

savage as fuck

his smile literally adds 5 years to your lifespan

all of the members miss him so much ;;;; its honestly super wholesome and every once in a while they’ll be like “omg cobi would love this” or “jacob....... we miss you”

but then you have shithead lou being like “i mean... its nice having the room to myself” wrehbjehg

he dance too! idk what type of dancing it is but he does it!!!

he was in the chinese movie “the dreamer on the catwalk”

BRING HIM BACK ATEAM PLS I MISS HIMS

HE HAS RETURNED AND HE’S STRONGER THAN EVER

lou (kim hosung)

my #1, my one and only, my precious sweetheart

tall as fUCK

has a deep ass motherfucking voice

grew up in georgia as a kid (can speak fluent english) and then the philippines when he was a teen!

kinda the more quiet & reserved member

but dont let that fool you......

he too is a lil shit

AND A CHAOTIC GAY -- ziu bothers him a lot but he has a big ol’ crush on ayno and he never shuts up about how pretty he is and how much he loves him

he can be a grouchy lil bitch too tho hkerbjeg

in this interview baron and st van were being cute and he’s just in the corner like “youuuu shouuuld daaaate” -- gay. in the same interview thats one instance where he wouldn’t shut up about ayno

hims a rapper too!! he often writes his own raps for songs (much like ayno)

his own mixtape (goodnight) literally is so nice i listen to it all the time

he has a vlive thing he does called lou-dio and it’s real cute

big ears = the cutest thing ever ehkrbgjeh

he collects a bunch of stuff!! like pop figures and toys, like souvenirs from everywhere they go

he was in the youtube webdrama “lemon car video” (eps 1, 3, 7, and 8)

his stage name is lou (pronounced “low” but i refuse to say that) because his voice is so low

ziu (park heejun)

chaotic. just chaotic. chaotic gay, chaotic maknae, chaotic man.

he’s the real maknae tho... doesn’t look it, huh?

manly af

literally so charismatic and funny as hell

wants kisses + love + attention from everyone

goes in for a kiss -- everyone else usually backs away but he’s always disappointed that no one gives into him

kisses kisses kisses

did i mention kisses?

he makes a lot of random ass noises all the time

screm... lots of screm. like you know opossums?? think that kinda screm.

his vocals ;;;;; his singing voice is so, so nice ;;; i adore it.

his room is dirty af i could NEVER

he does some really questionable things sometimes... see here.

like i said, i cannot express this enough... he’s so charismatic. so charming. so handsome.

also!! super hyper fluff ball. hims cute.

aegyo up the wazoo too

former happyface ent trainee with ayno

was in the fri.sat.sun teasers by dalshabet

can get p loud & annoying but that doesnt change how much we love him

idk if any of that made sense... but there you go! there’s so much more to vav and everything they do and who they are, so i hope this just kinda gets more people to look into them? it’s a stepping stone, not everything possible to learn.

+ keep in mind, a lot of this stuff comes from both kprofiles, what i’ve seen in videos, and my own personal opinions & inputs. so... yeah. don’t use what i say as truth/fact unless you see stuff to back it up (or you adopt it as your own opinion idk).

thank you for taking your time to read this!!

#vav #*intro #god what do i even tag all of this #idk #n e ways!!!#lmk what you think #also im not 100% well versed with vav #im kinda a newer stan #but i also did a ton of research #and they're like my 2nd/3rd ults now idek

81 notes · View notes

some-bitch-named-destyni · 6 years

Text

his name....is not finn.

at like 2:40 a.m. i meet a guy on grindr. this guy hits on me in the typically angry and abrasive fashion i have designed my profile to solicit from men of a certain variety, and so we get to talking then wind up on camera, me expecting the same shit as usual....in between midnight meeting with strange men in unknown and unsafe places, i get my need to self destruct and overcome the mind numbing boredom of sociopathic lack of fear satisfied by getting even more men off over the internet on camera... and then, last night happened.

his name, is not finn.

its robert. but he gies by finn. finn has four les pauls, recording machines...the works an entire worling fucking studio. lives in middle tennesse but has been to atlanta many times bc HE ACTUALLY PLAYS MUSIC MIDTOWN EVERY YEAR SINCE 2013 im watching the shit behind him on camera, the house hes in, the guitars on the walls, the records hanging around the cords and amps and pedals... and hes alone. he lives alone, its his place. FINN IS 23. thats all. 23. he got into it all, along with a little band that came from Knoxville tennessee in 2009 named 10 Years...who if u follow rock, u have to know. this is a massivelt succsesfull mainstream alternative rock act. one of my favorite bands.

so here we are.

its five a.m. were still talking, not fucking.

about music and art and finns ideas on sexuality not being real.

odd for someone whos telling me they wanna grudge fuck me bc i have extintential philosophers words tattoos up my arm, and then jump from a well worded rape fanatasy back to intellectual artistic expresssionary approach debate and metjod, use, deploymwnt methods and how they more prolifically provide correct walls of sound they assail the sensations of emotions in pattern sufficient to stimulate a response.

and were talking, then its almost six.

finn has to leave for "work" soon.

hes recording one of the three bands he plays in this a.m.

here i am, on cam talking like were actually getting to know, and enjoy knowing who each other are, with this man

a sound engineer for 10 Years touring company.

Actually. what the actual fuck is happening right now.

he looks like youd expect, having seen these guys on t.v and all, hes tall...6'1 not super tall but taller.

hes stocky and has bushy curly short hair and a clean face, complete with black shirts, wrist bands, leather vest/whatever material that is... the typical rock guy look. and youngish. p young looking yeah.

and i could see it all his house was fucking unreal the shit in that house, the music, drum sets . bass processors, computers studio monitors mic stands... and just i forgot about itnall speaking to him for three and a half hours bc he thinks so fucking different from anyone ive met before him. completely challanges every basic assumption of society that he can.

but then has the self discipline to make this all happen by his age. has the real world common sence, the extraverted thinking to handle the nessesary tedium that makes it possible for this creative energy to become something, and be used and marketed and produce a way to live for himself.

he confounds me sideways. these two opposite people, one part myself, one part my opposite???

i almost tell myself he wants it worse then i do, but thats not it, it cant be it. id die for it.

i would do anything. id give anything, go anywhere, crawl to china. id lose anything, live anything, repeat this entire awful miserable unbearable horrific life ive had three times for it.

id do anything anything id go to the ends of the earth id forsake anyone, id suffer any loss to get just a moment of chance

a moment a single opportunity is all id need and i would light a fucking fire so large it would blind everyone involved.

so yeah i want this sound in my head out, and onto an album just as bad as him or anyone so its not that he wants it worse.

so what then? why is this kid able to be me, and then some...and also not be me enough to actually be living the life he is already?

is it bc its not real? is that it? make me feel better. tell me that i am valid since im tragic enough to

have this incredible talent and yet at the same time have it come from something inside so FUCKED that having it means never being known, never heard, never shine bright like the fact of my creative passion could, and be unlived, then die never having spoken to the world like i should have could have would have

bc im valid so. bc im better. make me feel better. tell me its bc i am REALLY fucked. not pretend fucked for the sake of fashion in rock. not forced or mimiced or copied. and thats what he is right bc if not he wouldnt be well enough to make this happen.

but then, i know its a lie.

i wanna believe it, but i know its a lie. a beautiful, perfect lie. bc i know if i got the part out of the way that cripples me, id still have the rest to write from and create from. and still be capable of what i have been since birth.

so...im lazy? am i lazy? internally, mentally lazy? like or just for aomeone who loves to take pride in their pain, am unable to take the pain of change inside that facilitates the construction of a life like finns... what is it? do i just watch finn now and wait for a secret thats never coming?

I HAVE A DREAM. A NIGHTMARE. ALL MY LIFE I HAVE HAD IT OVER AND OVER. IN IT I AM 70 YEARS OLD , THO ILL NEVER REALLY MAKE IT TO THAT AGE, THE IDEA REMAINS THAT MY LIFE HAS COME AND GONE AND IM GREY AND WRINKLED AND LIEING DOWN AS I GASP FOR BREATH AND THEN I SEE AROUND MY BODY FROM ABOVE

im alone. poor. broke. in beggars clothes. in the gutter, in the filthy city streets, in the cold in winter. im that homeless decay you pass for the smell and then i die there. and thats it. thats what i let happen. i let this go on unti, i ran out of time to change it, and i never did a rhing. never made it, never finally got the shit insode out, never began to burn bright, never started playing live, never recorded, never anything. the thing inside i have that i alone see the magnitude of, and would only have ever really shown to anyone through true sucsess, it never MEANT A F U C K I N G T H I N G A T A L L

now in this mornings call with finn, i begin to see that dream take shape in my reality. soon. its creeping with an slythe above its shoulder just behind me. im here alone like this. deluding myself that this little computer screen is somehow a substitute for a real relationship, delluding myself that i actually am this sad imaginary projection i want to be lercieved as in this fake little digital world. making due with this as if its even happening for real . as of anyone or any idea on this small machine in my lap is life, or love, or me, or actual.

but here where my body is, where i cant take a good picture of me to hide my age, where my personality disorders are, where i am weird and different , where i am an addict, where i am unconventional and do things others wont want near them bcmof the risk i bring to myself, where my body is. my real body .... here there is not a fucking person with or like me. i have some temporary help as i stumble foolishly through my fucked circumstamce from my family, that ofc is going aay everyday, as that nightmare i mentioned begins to take shape. bc they gonna die before me unless i take my death into my oen hands and then that nightmare i have will have shaped fully and begin looking me in the eyes.

so, here i am. 10 a.m.

fuck this guy.

hes sexy, he wants me, and hes my type as in in another life serious boyfriend material . no kids, no phobics, trans or homo, no issues seeing me as who i am, and then also my creative and intellectual counterpart. and hes not very far like a w hour drive. and alllllllll so it makes it feel odd bc he seems like the worst thing for me, that only this situation would develope the addition of feelings have no room for amidst my chaos... i need to be LESS in romance with ppl not fucking MORE... or have someone else establish those feelings for me either just either way..bad idea. and so fuck him

mean it fuck this guy.

fuck this finn, robert whatever and fuck his life

fuck his guitars.

like i needed this shit? i needed to see this? needed to know him? or to have him that, weird weird convo for that long ...the longest ive spoken to someone new in years at once , and not even wind up wanting me for a nut before he got off the vam etc... just fuck this shit.

but not that it seems like that with him, im a combo of not romantic at all, and already emotionally spoken for HARDCORE by aomeone i am trying and fightimg with all i can to stop, STOP being romantically attached to.. so.. no new fucked romance crap for me please. i mention it bc it seems like what happens to me usially, and for no other reason then that.

but as for what i am SURE OF WITH FINN..for tnat... F U C K him

reminding me that im more then shit, reminding me that im throwing away things thousands of people never get to have or would kil, to be able to do like i can. remininding me that im more then this 4 a.m. methamphetamine induced desperate attempt to distract myself from throwing myself away, and relive the pain again, once more, one ,ore gimme one more time always...always need one more sex session where i live out how my father never loved or accepted or appreciated me in my own head again, and keep that defining pain in Clear FUCKING FOCUS FOREVER. KEEP IT HERE. KEEP THAT PAIN HERE. RIGHT IN MY ARMS, CRADLE IT, CLOSE TO MY CHEST, CLOSE TO MY HEART , EMBRACE FEED NURTURE IT GROW IT, LET ITS POISON VINES GROW INTO MY SKIN AND FEED ME FILTH HAPPILY, always one more man, one more moment of disrespect, one more instamce of debasing myself to remind me why i ket myself almost die in a hospital last winter, why ill be sleeping in the cold wind again before spring, and why ill never walk right again or run at all. why im this old and sti,, here, remind me why im trapped by my that talent im so thoughtlessly wasting daily, and...

finn reminds me. fuck him.

he reminds me im doing it , in at least part, by choice.

he takes my excuse away. takes away my escape.

lies, inside lies, inside lies..... finn shows up at 3 a.m. when ur only awake to do things like throw away potential of this magnitude and destroy your human body.

invades my momemt of distraction from the truth of how responsible i really am for this now, and reminds me that

its still out there. the chance i wanted, the opportunity to get the music out and realize that potential ratner then become that 25 year nightmare i have in my future currently...

tne hope, the possibility, the chance to burn finally

burn bright like a star, and shine so hard i can be seen for miles and miles by millions of people

its stil, out there.

fuck finn. i didnt need to remember that.

bc i am what i predict, i am what i know i will do. i am what i will and i dont have that other thing he does. common sense, extraverted thinking, strength to rid myself the demons so i can at least get it going. i dont have it, and im to terrified to let go the crutch ive found that gets me by with the maniac mind i carry and endure. i am not him, and i can not gather the strength to face the world without my crutch so i can then rise to the talent i toss in the trash more each day. i wont even consider it. its all ive got here. its all ive found through all this bullshit life thats made it even half way tolerable. and weather for my own better, weather i be to weak to sacrafice, weather i be to cowardice to dare to even attempt, or be to patnetic to for once FOR ONE TIME TAKE SOME PAIN FOR MY BENEFIT RATHER THEN MY DESTRUCTION.... even if its all true and i am very very responsible for how this hapoens here...

its ok.

bc that just makes me real right? and ive got that. and ill have it now, the rest of the way, to finish the ride,

all of the ride. ill have it. the truth, il. have that i was so cursed and gifted by the same thing that it overcame itself in me

and il. have that genuine authenticity, il. have that close as i finish this ride. the rest of the way.

all of the way.

all the

FuCkINg wAy DOWN

down down down down the only place im gonna go

and il. see finn from underneath, and everyone else who heard of or knew me from below

where i will burn in hell

8 notes · View notes

btshogwarts · 7 years

Text

Commentator

Members: J-Hope Centric, Suga, Jin Word Count: 2,457 Year: 2008 Note: *J-Hope’s joke explanation - A Wronski Feint is a move Quidditch players use. Neville Longbottom fainted when he heard a mandrake scream. Feint. Faint. Get it? I’ve been listening to Jin’s dad jokes too much I recon.

More on McGonagall’s interactions with Yoongi to come? Who do you guys wanna see more of? Also which ships do you guys love the most?

Pleeeeeease Jin!” Hoseok practically begged to his older friend as they sat across from each other at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall. Jin continued to read the Daily Prophet, munching down on his fifth piece of toast as he ignored his younger friend.

“Why can’t you just ask her for me?” He continued.

“Why can’t you just ask her yourself?” Jin asked, placing his newspaper down from directly in front of his face to give Hoseok a good look at his questioning eyes.

“Because she’s older than me and so are you. And she’s a Slytherin, I don’t know any Slytherin’s it would...just be...weird.” Hoseok attempted to explain.

Jin sighed, “Well firstly that’s a lie because you know Yoongi and he’s a Slytherin. Ask him.”

“I already did and he launched a screaming yo-yo at my head!… I can still hear their shrieks now.” Hoseok replied dramatically, letting his head fall into his hands. “Come on! Auditions are being held tomorrow I don’t have much time.”

Seokjin chuckled in reply, “You’re just scared to talk to a girl.”

“I am NOT! I talk to girls all the time.”

“Name one and when we go to Hogsmeade next I’ll buy you whatever dumb quidditch book you want.” Yoongi interrupted, coming to sit down next to Jin.

“...umm well there is this girl in my year...who umm, well she umm she sits next to me in one of my classes...umm, in err in Herbology, yeah Herbology and-”

“I thought you sat next to that weird Gryffindor Eddie kid for Herbology?” Yoongi replied causing Seokjin to smirk.

“...the lesson in question doesn’t matter!” Hoseok blew up bright red.

“Have a little bit of courage Hobi, you’re normally super sociable, what’s the worst that could happen?” Seokjin comforted.

“He could embarrass himself in front of a pretty fifth year and not be allowed to try out this year or any other year for that matter.” Yoongi replied. Seokjin looked at Yoongi. Yoongi looked nervously at Seokjin. Yoongi laughed awkwardly and quickly excused himself before Seokjin could beat his ass up.

“I just really want to be able to commentate. It’s not fair that first years aren’t allowed to audition. Whoever gets it this year probably wont give up the position until I’ve already left Hogwarts.”

“Mathematically that’s impossible but I understand your dilemma.” Seokjin smiled warmly, “If you really want this Hoseok, you have to fight for it. Don’t let someone else win just because they’re a year older.”

Timidness was replaced with determination as Hoseok strode up towards were the auditions were being held, his boots heavy on the mushy ground of the Quidditch Pitch. His robes were too big for his first year body and so they trailed lowly in the freshly soaked ground, dirtying the edge of his cloak and making the inside of his socks wet to his skin. He could see a large line of people waiting. Some looked nervous, others looked confident, some looked like they didn’t even want to be there; non held the absolute dire need in their eyes as Hoseok did.

“Are you here to audition?” A pretty soft spoken Gryffindor girl asked Hoseok with a polite smile as he stood nervously, eyeing the rest of the students.

“E-Erm, yes! Yes I am!”

“And what year are you in?” Another seemingly bossier girl who Hoseok recognised as Alice Lambert piped in.

“Um I’m a first year.” Hoseok replied quietly.

“No.” Alice said firmly.

“Alice! Surely you could at least hear him ou-” The Gryffindor girl tried to reason, only to be cut off by Alice’s sigh and a roll of her eyes.

“I-I know I’m only a first year but I know EVERYTHING there is to know about Quidditch!” Hoseok attempted to defend himself, “I know every team and every player and every move. I’ve listened to every podcast former commentator Lee Jordan has taken part in. And I’ve got a good eye too! So I can see whats going on at all times and I-”

“Maybe next year.” Alice said with a softer voice than before. Hoseok’s booming determination shattered with the mere three words.

“You won’t even give me a chance?” Hoseok fell extremely sad to which the pretty Gryffindor looked heartbroken at.

“Oh come on Alice, team spirit remember?” She attempted to persuade her.

“We aren’t on the same team,” Alice began, “and if we accept one first year we’ll have to accept them all, its unfair to everyone else we’ve turned away. I’m really sorry but we just don’t want to stress any new students out with the role of commentator.”

“I don’t think it would be stressful, and even if it is I’ll push through it and work hard, I promise!”

“Look,” Alice said firmly, “I get you really want this but a first year is just not what we’re looking for. I’m sorry. You can try out next year.”

Hoseok gave a sad yet thankful smile towards the elder Gryffindor girl. He looked gloomily at the floor beneath his long bangs as a few drops of rain fell onto his dark hair from the cloudy grey skies above, finally leaving the pitch to find his friends.

“It’s not the end of the world Hoseok, you can always try out next year like she said.” Jin attempted to soothe the younger boy who was lying flat out on the damp grass next to the Courtyard; Jin sitting up next to him and Yoongi perched up on the moss covered Courtyard wall above them.

“The person who gets in this year isn’t going to give up the position so quickly Seokjin.”

“I suppose not.” Jin replied, saddened that they wouldn’t even give his younger friend a chance.

“I could always sabotage them into leaving their position.” Yoongi mumbled more to himself than anyone else, contemplating his options as he looked up at the grey sky.

“No,” Jin said sternly, “because when you say ‘sabotage’ you usually mean ‘scare’, ‘inflict pain’ or ’cause some kind of damage’, and when you say ‘I’ you usually mean ‘we’, and we don’t need anymore complaints on your behalf really, do we?” He complained, causing a gummy smirk from Yoongi to seemingly light up the dim courtyard.

“I appreciate you wanting to cause chaos on my behalf but I want to do this by myself,” Hoseok sighed loudly, “My dreams are DEAD!”

“Yah, be quiet! You know we’re not meant to be out here right now, do you wanna get caught?” Yoongi retaliated without any sympathy.

“Yes.” Yoongi simply huffed out a laugh at the younger boys cheek.

“Your dreams aren’t dead you fool,” Seokjin poked Hoseok in the stomach causing him to laugh, “There’s always hope Hobi! Sure, Quidditch games would be far more enjoyable with your comentation but you still have us to listen to you and we still appreciate your knowledge and humour, don’t we Yoongi?”

Yoongi hummed in response, “Who gives a fuck what they think, you have us as your audience.”

The elder boys’ support, whether more obviously heartfelt or not, seemed to boost Hoseok’s self esteem because he was up and running round the courtyard in no time. He had his hand next to his mouth - acting as a fake microphone - screaming his little lungs out about the last game he watched and how the Seekers feinted faster than Professor Longbottom upon hearing a Mandrake scream.* In that moment they had all forgotten about the fact they were skipping lesson. They were lost within their own laughter, completely oblivious to the fact Professer McGonagall was eyeing them the entire time.

“Mr Kim, Mr Min, Mr Jung,” The voice shocked them, halting the younger boys silly actions and quieting down the elder boys hysterical laughs, “I was hoping that this skipping of lessons would stop after last year Min.” Hoseok and Jin seemed to shy away at McGonagall’s words, but Yoongi put up a good show of looking completely unaffected. “Mr Kim, Mr Jung, I have to say I’m surprised to find you two here. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?”

“Sorry Professor.” The three boys chimed simultaneously, Hoseok’s voice being a lot quieter and shakier than that of his elder friends considering this was his first run in with breaking school rules.

“I don’t like to assume that one of you influenced the others but its becoming quite hard not to,” McGonagall sighed, “Mr Min, wait in my office for me please. Do you remember the password?”

“I sure do.” Yoongi sent a smile to the two boys, obviously not at all phased by being sent to the Head’s Office.

McGonagall sighed, “Mr Kim, I’ll be deducting 5 housepoints from Hufflepuff, now please get back to the lesson to which you should be attending. Mr Jung, if you would like to follow me please.” Once McGonagall turned her back to walk away, Hoseok sent a worried glance towards the tall Hufflepuff left behind him. Hoseok had been told numerous times that McGonagall was a kind and fair Professor, but he couldn’t help but worry about what impending doom could be waiting for him as he followed the Headmistress throughout the castle corridors. He was a worrier.

As Hoseok followed behind McGonagall, her tall frame towering over his very petite one, he twirled his fingers around one another, desperately looking along the castle walls for something to preoccupy his worrying mind. McGonagall stopped in front of a classroom, a teacher was busy with writing out pronunciations on a board up front whilst students took notes and sent paper swans elegantly through the air to one another. McGonagall instructed Hoseok to wait outside for her, hearing a faint request of, “Excuse me Professer, do mind my intrusion, may I borrow Victoria for a moment,” before returning with a Seventh Year Slytherin who looked just as worried as Hoseok did. Hoseok felt almost star struck seeing Victoria, the current Commentator, in person.

“Victoria, this is Hoseok, I think I may have found you a perfect commentator!” McGonagall’s eyes lit up as the familiar scene with different faces played out before her.

Victoria’s eyes opened in shock, “Oh yeah, Hoseok!” She said with familiarity causing confusion to bubble within Hoseok’s mind. Hoseok had never been so red in all his life. ‘She knows who I am?’

“You mean, I’m not being punished?” Hoseok asked, confusion and questions blaring his already overly emotional mind.

McGonagall smiled warmly, “You’re a good student Mr Jung, just don’t let me find you skipping lesson again. Victoria, I assume you can take it from here?”

“Of course Professor,” The tall Slytherin replied as McGonagall hurried off down the nearest corridor corner, “Must be dealing with that Yoongi boy again, she’s always in a rush when speaking to him.”

“Yoongi isn’t a bad kid y’know.” Hoseok replied defensively.

“Oh I know, I didn’t say he was, he seems like a good friend to have.” Victoria replied, motioning Hoseok to follow her, “He attempted to talk to me yesterday about you but I was studying. My friends passed a message on to me though. I didn’t think he was being serious.”

“He wanted to talk about me?” Hoseok was visibly confused causing the Seventh year to laugh.

“Don’t worry, nothing bad. It was about this whole you being commentator, I didn’t think he was serious. He plays a lot of jokes in dorm so…” Hoseok nodded in understanding, “Sorry I didn’t take it seriously.”

“It’s no problem. Where are we going?” Hoseok questioned.

“Quidditch Pitch.” Victoria was straightforward enough and Hoseok felt awfully comfortable despite all of the feelings he felt earlier on.

Hoseok followed the tall Slytherin out onto the Quidditch Pitch, the rain falling a little more now but the Autumn air was still warm and not uncomfortable to be out in without a robe. As they approached the still auditioning group of students Hoseok became worried, “So do you think I could actually be commentator? I tried to audition today but was turned down because I’m a first year.”

“You’re a first year?” Victoria stopped abruptly sounding shocked, “You speak so confidently for someone so young! That’s really good!”

She continued to walk, slipping past the group of students waiting to audition and the group of girls, including Alice Lambert, who were judging them.

“Who told you you couldn’t audition?”

“That Alice girl.”

Victoria rolled her eyes, beginning to step up the long wooden staircases of the Slytherin Quidditch Tower, “Ignore her. She’s just angry she didn’t get to try out her first year.” Hoseok laughed in response, desperately trying to keep up with her as she almost flew to the top of the tower.

This was the first time Hoseok had stood amongst the stands. The yearly Quidditch games had not yet begun and due to this being his first year he had not had the chance to be in the stands. He’d been to live Quidditch matches of course, but this experience was different and was special to him. Although he stood peering out amongst the greens and silvers of Slytherin, he did not care to focus on house rivalry at this particular moment. The view of the old castle, to which he called his home, paired with the shimmering black lake, the almost alive forest surrounding them and the now pale orange sky sent whatever question he was going to ask next into his next lifetime. It was like he could feel the history of this pitch and Hogwarts within him, a history that he wanted to be a part of, a history that contained so much pain and joy simultaneously that the overly emotional first year shook with excitement and held back a tear threatening to escape.

“I’ve been here for seven year and I’ve never seen someone react so fondly to this view, especially on a gloomy evening like right now.” Victoria vocalised her thoughts upon seeing Hoseok’s genuine joy at being present there.

Hoseok was positive that he wanted nothing more from life than to be up here as long as possible. His determination had again set in. The kind words and the constant encouragement from his friends and teachers replayed through his mind as he looked out from the Commentating stand.

“What do I have to do?”

- “B-But he’s a first year!” “I get the final decision on who succeeds me so shut up Alice.” - “Hyung, you do love me though admit it!” “Will you be quiet!” “You wouldn’t have gone out of your way to try to help me if you didnnnn’t” “I’m not getting you a Quidditch book at all if you continue this attack Hoseok.”

76 notes · View notes

r-o-se · 7 years

Photo

Produce 101 Season 2 Ep 7 lit lit lit 92 point running commentary

hey whats up squad fam id link where I watched it but it was like 4 different sources so I’m sorryyyyy message me and ask for them later

1. They’re jumping right into it and its BTS Spring Day stage all are pastely beige pink and its cute af this is the youngest group on average and has the small Woojin, Kim Youngjin, Kenta, Seonho and Bae Jinyoung

2. Younjin wants to be center/main vocal eventho hes originally a rapper and I understannd WHY he wants it but to have a rapper as main vocal is…… not clever

3. Holy shit he actually gets to be the main vocal wow I’m shook as hell

4. Seokhoon is making angry eyes at him tho and now Woojin is a shitton better at this checkup and gets to be the new center

5. He has problems hitting the high note though poor baby

6. Baejy gets praised by BoA and he gets cute and smiley as fuck its adorableeeeee

7. SEONHO IS PLAYING PIANO IM PROUD OF MY LIL BABY BIRD

8. Baby Woojin didn’t fully hit the note but he didn’t fully miss ti either so its okkkk

9. Kenta got literally 0 personal screentime though mnet fucking hates him this boy is a GEM you could make so much clips out of him but nooooooooo

10. Seonho made kissy faces at the camera and Guanlin cringed so hard it was beautiful

11. Seonho got first aaaahahahha it’s the piano and the visuals but can we just remember the fact that the kid is only what 15? 16? He’s fuckin SMALL

12. Now the next stage is N Sync-Pop aka the group with one dancer and a bunch of other professions since they got filled also………… WOODAM IS HERE IM SO FUCKING EMO POOR KID

13. They also got Sangbin, Jung Jung, Insoo, Kiwon, Jaechan and Woodam obviously. Jung Jung is the only og dancer there

14. I’m very sad about Woodam but I wanna see others too like please…… I miss Sangbin and Insoo… Show them too they literally choreographed the whole thing and GOT PRAISED FOR IT…. And their teamwork was called the best they had seen IM SO GLAD

15. But their team is all very low numbers it makes me really really sad ugh

16. Their clothes are so 90s I LOVE IT HOW CUTE

17. They all dance so well especially for a group of people who aren’t actually dancers

18. SANGBINI IS SO GOOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH FUCK

19. Junghung unzipped his sweater and flipped around OBVIOUSLY

20. Everyone are clapping in circles aaahahahahah round of applause LITERALLY

21. Oh my gooooosh WOODAM HAS ASTHMA POOR BABY KID

22. If Woodam won’t make it I’m going to riot

23. SANGBIN IS LAST AGAIN LAST HERE AND LAST IN THE GROUP EVALUATION WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT JUSTICE FOR SANGBIN HES A RANK AND INDIVIDUAL TRAINEE AND AN EXCELLENT RAPPER FUCKING VOTE FOR HIM ASSES

24. NOW ITS TIME FOR A-TOM, EUIWOONG AND MY PINK RAPPER FLUFF WOO JINYOUNGGGGGGGGG THEY ARE DOING

25. Ajlahlskadf they asked Jinyoung ‘whos the best’ and hes like ahh everyone are good in their own way and they they asked again from Sanggyun and he’s like ‘I’m the best lol’

26. Wait is this the stage where Ha Minho was…….. because lmao they really did a good job editing him out I’m dead ‘they can’t edit better evil editing isn’t a thing’ MY GUY THEY DELETED A GUY WHO WON A BATTLE!! WITHOUT IT EVEN BEBING NOTICED IF WE DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS THERE!! GODDAMN

27. Jinyoung is the centerrrrrrrr love my babe but obvi I’m sad for Sanggyun

28. Also yall Minho won this battle with an Mnet diss

29. Sanggyun has problems coming up with lyrics poor babe I hope he’s alright OH NO BABY MESSED UP HIS WORDS TWICE

30. KAKLKFNAWKNN MINHO IS BLURRED OUT ON STAGE WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

31. SANGGYUN AND EUIWOONG GOT PRAISEDDDDDDD AND OBVI WOOJY TOO IM SO PROUDDDDD

32. THEIR STAGE IS SO GOOD THE ENERGY IS SO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK THEY ALL ON FIRE AS FUCK

33. Cheetah is feeling herself big time

34. Euiwoong looks so much better here than with the BIL team he looked like a fetus there but rn HES FUCKIN AMAZING

35. Imagine ranking 4th out of 3 people wow that seems like something that would happen to me lmao poor Euiwoong

36. A group with no first place how tragic

37. ITS TIMEEEEEE OFR RHYTHM TA ok but why choose the same song for two years in a row lol

38. This team is Gwanghyun, Yoojin and Taewoo

39. Yoojin hated being a leader back in Be Mine days and now he’s stuck again because Gwanghyun and are submissive fucks

40. GWANGHYUN IS NERVOUS AND WENT TO ASK JINYOUNG FOR HELP THIS IS SO CUTE AND JINYOUNG BABE GAVE HIM ADVICE INSTEAD OF SENDGIN A RIVAL AWAY

41. This groups teamwork is seriously amazing I love it so much their dynamic is so amazing

42. Their energy is so good they sereiously seemed to just fuckin get such a high out of being on stage

43. Poor Baby Yoojin is last, Taewoo is second and Gwanghyun got first poor baby is crying and the others are cheering him up this is so sweet

44. BoA Amazing kiss is up next with Dongsu, JELLY HEESEOK WHO I HAVENT SEEN IN WEEKS LOVE YOU BABE DO WELL, Seunghyuk and Gunhee. Gunhee is the leader yet they have problems choosing the center

45. THEIR VOCALS ARE ALL SO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK GUNHEE IS AMAZING

46. Heeseok really wants to be center and is being kind of pushy but in the end Gunhee got the center part too

47. THEIR HARMONIES ARE SO GOOD

48. AND VOCALS SO STRONG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

49. Gunhee looks………. So good…….. I cant take it…… with the choker and everything just fuck me upppp

50. Jahldfhaan gunhee shook his ass on stage while appealing time

51. Gunhee is bringing up Hyunwoo too goddamn im weakhearted don’t do this to me

52. Heeseok got last place….. I’m emo as fuck…… fuckin stab me…… My Jellyfish son…. Seunghyuk is third, Dongsu second and Gunheeeeeeeeee is FIRST!!! Proud of my kid

53. Now its I.O.I Downpour team, Hyunbin, Jisung, Minhyun, Jaehwan and Sungwoon aka ALL THE KIDS I LOVE!!!!

54. They chose Jisung as leader my babe looks so good with purple hair GOD BLESS

55. Sungwoon is so pretty godddamnit ‘I’ve heard it often I’m not good enough for main vocal’ I’ll beat up whoever said it

56. HE IS GIVING UP MAIN VOCAL TO JAEHWAN!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! WHAT AN ANGEL!!!!!!! I’M SHOOK!!!!!

57. Hyunbin got a lot of hate and I’m very salty over it I love my tall boy very much SAME GOES TO JISUNG!!!! THAT KID HASN’T DONE A SINGLE THING WRONG HE IS SO SWEET AND SO INSPIRING AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MMO BETTER FUCKING DEBUT HIM WITH THE MMO SQUAD ONCE ITS DONE!!!!!!

58. Hyunbin messed up a bit and Jisung comforted him poor lil baby I’m so sorry for my tall child and thank you so much Jisung for taking care of my baby kid

59. Anyways they asked if they can change and having Jaehwan play guitar instead of having the teachers play piano

60. Minhyun looks so fine in pastel pink fuck me up

61. Cut to Baekho and Jonghyun lookin like ‘damn right’

62. JAEHWANS VOICE DOES THINGS TO ME I DIDN’T EVEN SEE ITS HIM BUT WHEN HIS VOICE STARTED I GOT SHIVERS SAME WITH SUNGWOON I LOVE MY POWER VOCAL CHILDREN

63. Oh my fucking god everyone in the crowd and the other trainees AND HYUNBIN are all bawling

64. JAEHWANS VOCALS SAVED MY LIFE! FUCKING G O S H THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL I DON’T EVEN KNOW THE LYRICS BUT I FEEL LIKE CRYING

65. Sakjfbakjsablkfjn Hyunbin and Jisung are holding hands

66. Hyunbin is 5th and Jisung takes his hand and comforts him a lot and tells him it’s okay this is too precious and Jisung himself is 4th and Sungwoon third, Minhyun second and JAEHWAN FIRST HE DESERVED IT BEST FUCKING VOCALS IN THIS ENTIRE SHOW IF HE WONT MAKE IT I AM RIOTING!!!!!!

67. Jinwoo ranked super low in vocals……. I’m so fucking sad when will people learn to appreaciate true talent…..

68. Gunhees mouth can open so wide its amazing honestly also HE GOT OVERALL VOCAL FIRST PLACE IM SO PROUD!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!! BABE!!!!!!!!!! U DESERVED IT U WERE A GREAT CENTER AND LEADER

69. Now its only the dance teams left starting with Gete Ugly. The subber seems to love him and tbh same bless Danik

70. Ong is so fuckin funny I love him lmao

71. It’s Daniels team and he’s like ‘I’m sorry I was a bad leader’ and Ong is like nah fam ALSO FUN FACT REVEALED BY ONG Jonghyun inspired him to be the leader this is so fuckin cuteeeeee

72. Afnhlna what is going on why are they showing them in the result room before the stage I’m????

73. This team has all of the alpha bitches like seriously Jihoon, Samuel, Ong, Daniel, Hyungseob are 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th and 6th and then poor baby Park Woojin is 24th.

74. Awwwwwwwwww the populars are all thinking that Woojin could kill it this is so cute

75. Danik is the MMO maknae apparently and volunteered and FUCK SUNGWOO JUST SAID JONGHYUN INSPIRED HIM TO BE THE LEADER MY SORRY SORRY AND ONGNIEL HEART CANT TAKE IT

76. Samuel keeps being eaten up by Jihoon save my boy those two want center and WOOJIN WANTS TOO!!!!!!! I LOVE WOOJIN!!!!!! PICK HIM!!!!!

77. AAAAAAHAHAH FUCK SAMUEL JUST SAID THAT HES LIKE A SKINNY DEER NEXT TO JIHOONS TIGER THIS IS THE CUTEST

78. Jihoon?? Recommended Sameuel now?? FUCK CUTE!!! Poor Woojin tho aw

79. They are a bit lacking in the dance section though which makes me a bit sad and Danik egets a bit flamed from Kahi since he is the only one who has problems with the choreo

80. Samuel, Danik and Woojin are all choreographing it but they all have very different styles so it’s a bit hard to learn

81. Anyways Danik is so cute and he has NICE ASS FUCKIN THIGHS HOLY SHIT LOOK AT HIM B-BOYING

82. The whip sound effects are so funny idk why but THEY ARE

83. Ong and Jihoon are poppingggggggg and its GREATT

84. Dabbing fuckers I stg

85. Samuels legs are so thin OH MY GOD DANIEL TWIRLING ON HIS HANDS HOLY SHIT

86. WHO DID THAT HALF SPLIT WAS IT ONG??? THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL

87. Hey yall I love Kang Daniel and Park Woojin and I’m not gonna waste my fingers typing out all of the members here BUT I LOVE THEM ALL FUCK

88. Jihoon did goddamn aegyo on that goddamn stage and Samuel gave half of a heart miss me w that cuteness

89. Everyone think Samuel won it but goddamn?? No?? He ranked last? How the fuck did that happen I’m literally…… what?? Why on earth? Anyways yall remember when Samuel called his mom and she called him a puppy

90. DANIK GOT 5TH IM ANGRY!!! AND HE SAID ITS WHAT HE DESERVES!! NO!!!!!

91. Hyungseob is 4th, Ong is 3rd and Woojin is SUPER NERVOUS AND NOW THEY CUT IT OFF!! FUCK YOU MNET!!

92. If Taehyun isn’t getting the best dancer I’m going to scream right here right now

93. Pop got really low votes I’m emo

94. TAEHYUN WRECKED IT HE IS FIRST!! HE DESERVES IT FUCKIN HELLL HE DOESSSS

95. Ok cut back to get ugly votes WOOJIN GOT FIRST HE REALLY DID IM SO PROUD HE REALLY DID IY MY FOX BABY HE DESERVED THAT FIRST CENTER PLACE FROM A RANKS AS WELL BUT NOW HES HERE AND BEAT UP!!!!! THE ENTIRE TOP TEN!!! FUCKIN GOD IM PROUD

96. TAEHYUN STAYED THERE HE REALLY DID WOOOJIN IS 5TH BUT TAEHYUN MADE IT HE IS FIRST HE BEAT ALL OF THE AVENGERS F U C K

97. Samuel and Daniel are ranking really low…… this is…. This is really sad wow holy shit….Poor children…. To drop from second to second to last??? Poor kid

98. Anyways the golden trio is now Gunhee, Jonghyun and Taehyun I am satisfied and have no objections to that

Good night yall buy nuest albums theyyre good for your health also happy debut to ace and merry comebacks to map6, ikon, got7, knk, b.i.g,, 24k and anyone else that I forgot

87 notes · View notes

sunshineonamission-blog · 5 years

Photo

January 30th Wednesday 1:38AM

So basically Tuesday

Do i even remember this morning

This morning I woke up and I was just so. Tired. So tired. Like hard to move in a literal way.

It was either this morning or yesterday - I think yesterday but when I went to open my blinds to let the light in it was like blue. Maybe that was Monday. Anyway.

Last night I slept in the dark with the door completely closed and the kitchen light off. I guess there was nothing scary to me about the dark anymore.

This morning I took a painful shower and I got dressed in my lined mom jeans that I’ve been avoiding and my grey turtleneck, and my denim jacket. I knew I’d sweat through the turtleneck. I was in denial. I packed a bag. I made some tea. I put my last lara bar in my pocket. I walked to Ryder.

Meeting with Jesse at 8:45. Was amazing.

I blabbed and he actually made sense of it.

So. Sounds like you like to make shit.

Yeah.

If you wanna do the new york thing and pound the pavement for a while you can. If you want to stay in boston... you can.

“I’m not fuckin corporate Northeastern. I want what’s best for you”

“You have permission to act. To be a theatre artist.”

“I give you permission to not know what you’re doing right now.”

- Summer. Berkshire Theatre Co. or Shakespeare & Co. or work and make money and “make a bunch of shit. get your friends. --> his best man runs Shakes, he used to run Berkshire: “it’s... grueling. if you wanna kinda pay your dues and train...”

- Fall. As many studio classes as possible. Acting 2.

- Playwriting, Directing, movement at some point, voice& speech, viewpoints

- He said I could get into movement right now. Ugh. Yesterday was the last day to drop a class without “withdrew” on transcript.

- If I wanna do a BFA program and just grind it out and wear black every day and be in a conservatory setting I can- probably not gonna be this year. That’s okay.

- MFA is an option. Maybe not recommended unless you have a trust fund or a strong desire to teach

- “Your makeup as a human being seems right. To be an actor. You have a seriousness but also a goofiness. You need both.”

“For the sake of your health, just maybe breathe...”

“You have time.”

“I know a lotta actors who direct. My wife does. I know directors who act sometimes.”

It’s weird right. You’re here for theatre and surrounded by like. STEM majors. They’re robots.

Keep the conversation going when I need to.

Advice for acting & life: don’t wait for someone to teach you. don’t wait to be instructed. If the opportunity arises to learn and do, do something.

Kick ass in acting tomorrow.

“you’re okay. You’re in the right place. in terms of like. mindset”

I was really just beaming walking outta there. I was excited. I changed into the acid wash jeans and too tight flowery converse and acadia sweatshirt and made my way to curry while i scarfed down the lara bar

Had like 15 minutes so I sat and researched summer programs a little. Obviously he said berkshire was grueling sooo that’s where I wanna go. - must do more research and maybe a second more soul searching and then just start prepping

Okay shop for 4 hours. Climbed scaffolding. Super grateful Julia Chase a normal human being was there. Mätthew’s nice and it’s fine. I hate Jenny. Jeanie. Whatever her name is. And that other kid whose name I don’t remember but he has an absurdly low voice and a beard and he’s tall and he’s stupid. I apologize for the strong language. Ultimately I don’t hate them I just like can hardly stand being around them because they’re just so cringey and rude and like the combo makes me want to go off. It makes me wanna be like yo. Jennie. I know. And stop holding the screw while you drill. That’s why you keep bleeding. But we got a lot done and especially when it was just me julia and matthew i really did like save the day with my ideas several times. fun! draining though and hadnt eaten in like a while besides the lara bar

Home. Was gonna research summer while eating my ubereats smoothie bowl because Jugos closed at 5 and it was like 3 and i wanted to sit and eat and research. No thank u Bgood u are a heartbreak at the moment.

Accidentally didnt put in my address for ubereats. What was in there was Park Plaza. Mhm. Ow. I called to fix my mistake but it was already on the way. 3 miles away. via bike. Angry ubereats biker.

I went to atm at MARINO and got money out, crying, came back, waited. Called mom weeping. He got here. He was biking away. What? I said hey excuse me he said “it dropped. It fuckin dropped. Im sorry okay you wont get charged it dropped.” I made him take $10 and apologized for the mistake and he said he was sorry for freakin out, sorry for making me cry. He made me think of Maddie Dinsmore. SO, MUCH. He said you’re a female I’m sorry I hate making girls cry and I said oh no trust me you didnt. I said the address I sent it to by accident was just a place I was at with my boyfriend like a month ago and we just broke up and I never order ubereats but i was really hungry so it made me cry.

And he said youre obviously hungry and you didnt even get your food and offered to go get me something from nearer by. He said he was moving to california on friday. I gave him the $10 and said no no that’s fine but good luck in California.

I don’t know why I felt the need to overshare to this stranger. I think it was two things. One was that I saw someone who felt very badly and who’d just biked 3 miles and who wasnt getting paid for it. I am a decent liar sometimes. When it seems like the right thing to do. Or at least I have been. But I’m so fuckin done with that. Not a bone in my body had the capacity in that moment to say oh no it’s not you I totally just bombed a test I literally just didn’t have it in me. But I didn’t want this person to have any guilt or sadness from today. So I just told the truth. Because yeah he was mad and it made me cry but ultimately it wouldn’t have if not for the circumstances. Because the circumstances made me feel stupid and like essentially I started feeling well enough to eat and okay enough not to be scared to eat or to at least be brave enough to leap that hurdle and the universe said fuck you. You should be hurting. And you tried to eat and this is what happens. I don’t believe that to be true. It’s just how it felt in the moment.

And I’m also just so heartbroken and it couldnt hurt to tell this person that I’ll never see again, who could judge me if he wanted but whose judgment would ultimately have no bearing on my life

Back inside. Back in bed. Talked to mom.

Made eggs.

Ew.

Felt super anxious

In bed totally checking daniel’s snap map and thinking he was auditioning.

I’m so glad he’s auditioning.

I wonder if he knew that he could’ve auditioned last week.

I texted him when he was out and asked. He did. I’m glad.

We talked for a while. I said more than usual. I dont put the screenshots of texts here because we don’t need to torture ourselves.

I told him I just wanted him to be happy. He asked if id gone to any parties which blew me away because of course not.

I told him about miss you like hell

I told him about my ubereats experience

I told him I was scared

I asked if it had to be til we were 25 to come back around

I said I wanna take it back

He said he was gonna marry me

He asked if I was okay

He knows.

He told the boys it’s only me he’s dating ever

I miss him like hell

My heart doesnt beat the same without you

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in)

Ryder. Piano and singing and writing a song. Curry. HW with mia, my creative dna

Library w max ben maddie riana

ava had stopped at max’s lobby cause she was scared of a sketchy van so when i left i walked with max to ava so that we could walk home together.

Ava thinks she gets it but she doesn’t. I appreciate it but she doesn’t.

I’m in bed. This is a no teeth no face wash night but it’s okay because no makeup today

I’m very tired and it’s 2:16 now and time to go to sleep

Goodnight

0 notes

minecraftgender · 7 years

Text

current list of all alters

oh lord here we go: Luna: Hello! Im Luna! Normally I talk with a semicolon (;) before what I say. I'm 37 years old (my birthday is April 8) and I've really been around for about four years. I formed in the summer of 2014. I pretended to be an imaginary friend for the longest time up until late February. I'm the mother of our system along with a few others. I really don't have much to say about myself other than that. Oh also I'm pregnant and due in October. Jason: hey im jason im a protector or some shit. idk i like popcorn and homestuck. im 17 i guess my birthday is december 6 because im a fucking homestuck. i formed in late february by being an asshole and yelling at jade because he hates himself. im married to john egbert. woo. oh and addie (theyll be mentioned a lot) is my moirail. i type with a comma (,) before i say anything Lily: HI IM LILY!!!!! im 11 so shut the fuck up!!!!!! i can move up ages if i want. i formed in early march i think but i dont remember exactly when. i like cake and cats and jade and i wanna be just like him!! sometimes i draw!!! oh and my birthday is july 20 just like jade!!!!! im gonna be 12 soon!!!!!!!!! jades best friend addie is my mama and luna is my mom and other people are more moms!!L i have a lot of moms!!!!!!! I TYPE WITH A CLOSING PARENTHISIS LIKE THIS ) Jake: hi im jake. im 14. ill be 15 next march 18th, which is the day i formed. i think i have autism and my special interest is dogs. jades best friend addie is my mom too. i like the color purple, slime and rivers. i have 25 dogs. i really dont know what else to say about myself. i use an equal sign before i say stuff (=). im one of the tallest people in the system because im 6'4" tall. Ruby: hey im ruby im jades old imaginary friend. im 17, ill be 18 on halloween. i just kina appeared in here, its cool. i like minecraft and my little pony. idk im kinda just here and i sleep a lot and i use a question mark (?) Grey: hi there im Grey. i dont really do much in here, just play board games with aradia. i can also tell the future somewhat. really only if it pertains to jade. im 15 and i dont have a birthday since i dont really care about it. i type with an underscore (_). im really not that interesting. uhhhhh i got vored once and it wasnt fun. Emily: we really dont know much about her since she sleeps a lot. we do know that shes 20 years old. she only ever wakes up if im highly anxious. we think shes a survial alter if the rest of us are gone shell be there. shes super sweet tho. Becquerel: Hello, I'm Becquerel, yes the dog from Homestuck. I dont really do much except cuddle with those that want it and protect everyone. I have my old powers, so I can teleport our headspace out of technical existence and such. And still fetch bullets hehe. I was pulled out of a successful timeline though I don't think it was the alpha one. I use a carat (^) to type. I was given a collar that allows me to speak. I like it a lot! [you know, like Up] Rose: Hello, I'm Rose Lalonde-Maryam. I tend to not care about capitalization anymore, I have completely given up on it with this damned device. I'm married to and having a child with Kanaya. She and I are both dating the host Jade. I'm the other mother of this system. I also deal with children when the body has to. I and the others are 22 this year. I have vague memories of the game and all that but Jade needs to hurry up and finish the comic so I can remember the rest. I type using the rose emoji (🌹). John: hey! its your local tricky boy john egbert! i got tossed in here from the same timeline as rose and the others. i am just regular old john! i hang out in here and fight if i need to. i married jason a fee months ago. i type with a hammer emoji (🔨) Dave: its ya boi. anyway im the local fucking rap god. fergalicious, my neck my back, and deepthroat are my theme songs. im dating karkat, hes cute as fuck. i man the tunes in here [he plays fergalicious on repeat]. its lit fuckers. anyway i type with the sunglasses emoji (🕶) that doesnt show up on android. peace. Jade: hi im jade!!!! i used to be jadesprite but i was sad soooooo i got changed to normal dog tier me! i come from a tl where i still have bec powers after i finish the game too which is cool!!! i hang out with Bec and garden by the river! i type with a dog emoji before my sentences (🐶)!!! Roxy: heeeeeyyy its rosxy. i give up on soelling snd shit so yeah. i give out food if u ask and i pretend 2 b a wizurd sometimez. its fun in hrre i can fo nothing all fay. obvs i still drink (i give u some if u ask nice). i thpe with a glass (🍸) n shit. s fun. i dont remember rly anything from my tl. Jane: Hey! I just formed so I dont know or do much in here. I bake for the kids if they ask nicely! I mostly spend my time with Rox. I type with a spoon emoji (🥄) Aradia: Hell0! I've caught up with a l0t of mem0ries and I'm getting m0re with time. I spend my time playing b0ard games with Grey. I'm dating S0llux and Feferi. I have been t0ld that I give nice hugs. I type with my symb0l first (♈️) Tavros: hEY,, ITS UH,,, tAVROS. i SIT IN HERE AND PLAY WITH ALL THE DOGS. iF ANYONE NEEDS ME TO PROTECT THE SYSTEM I DO. i KINDA STAY AWAY FROM VRISKA BUT,,, uH,, sHE SEEMS OK. i DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY. i USE MY SYMBOL BEFORE I TYPE (♉️) Sollux: what2 up. the local pun ma2ter ii2 iin bu2iine22 over here. ii 2pend my tiime relaxiing and enjoyiing not haviing anythiing two really do. playiing that fuckiing game take2 a lot out of you. ii protect the 2y2tem iif ii need two. iim datiing aa and ff. ii al2o type wiith my 2ymbol (♊️) Karkat: I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKERS WANT FROM ME. IM LITERALLY THE FUCKING SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE, RELAXING WITH NOTHING TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DO FOR ONCE. MY GREATEST FUCKING ACCOMPLISHMENT IS EATING 49 PIZZAS WITHOUT PUKING. I PUKED ON THE 50TH. I TYPE WITH MY FUCKING SYMBOL SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE (♋️) Nepeta: :33 < hey! i sit in here and spend looots of time with my meowrail Equius and my rp partner Terezi! its so purrfect to not have all the responsibilities of the game anymore. aaaaand im not dead! i type with my symbol (♌️) but sometimes i furget. 833 wats this Kanaya: Hello Children. I Am Married To Rose Lalonde-Maryam And I Am Dating The Host Jade. I Spend My Time Being Gay And Sleeping. I Unironically Like Vore I Am Not Ashamed To Admit It. I Also Discovered Memes And I Enjoy Them Very Much. Ben Is A Hoe. Bitches Like Yellow. I Type With My Symbol As Well (♍️) Terezi: H3Y. 1 H4T3 TYP1NG ON TH1S SO 1 W1LL M4K3 TH1S SHORT. 4H3M. 1 DONT DO MUCH H3R3 HOST J4D3 1S MY QPP 4ND TH4TS 4BOUT 1T. 1 US3 MY SYMBOL TOO (♎️) Vriska: idk im here for some dum8ass reason. i pro8a8ly wont quirk. im too tired to do anything. jade said i have depression and hes probably right. i spend all my time laying on the floor doing nothing 8ut think about eeeeeeeeverything that went wrong back then. anyway i use my sym8ol to 8e different from everyone else (♏️) Equius: D --> um. i am not sure what i am supposed to say. jason told me to say that i sniff e%haust fumes, which is not a lie. i mostly spend time with nepeta to keep her out of trouble. i am attempting to get over my "obsessiveness with the highb100ds. i use my symbol before speech (♐️) Gamzee: WhAtS uP mOtHeRfUcKeRs YoUr LoCaL cLoWn Is HeRe. I DuNnO I lIkE wEeD aNd HoNkInG oMinOuSlY aT iNcOnVeNiEnT tImEs. I jUsT hAnG oUt WiTh My BrO kArKat. MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS bRo. (♑️) Eridan: i dont understand the point of wwritin all this. i spend my time "sulkin" accordin to everyone else. im just relaxin and thinkin about wwhen i didnt have to remember all the bad shit. i also practice magic behind kanayas back. i used the Aquarius symbol before typin (♒️) Feferi: )(ey! I also really dont do much in here. I spend time wit)( Sollux and Aradia thoug)(! We like to talk about life back before the game. ot)(er than that i dont do muc)(. i use my symbol before i say anything (♓️) Her Imperious Condesension: she doesnt want to talk about herself since she doesnt remember much. she didnt know anything when she first arrived so Lily screamed at her to get her into submission. she wont hurt anyone. she uses (🐠) Jack Noir: he wont write anything because hes an asshole. he doesnt really talk anyway unless hes being fucking rude. he uses (⬛️) before he talks. he just generally hates everyone. Steven: Hi! I'm Steven Quartz Universe! I just showed up one day! I hang around and play with the dogs and the others. I'm 14 and I'll be 15 in two months!! I cant wait to talk!!! I use an upside down exclamation point before talking (¡). It's nice to meet you! Wildfang: she never talks, shes super shy but shes 9 year old me. idk how she got here or why. i think its a stable time loop. Rainbow Dash: yo its rainbow dash! im 16! im from host jades sunset shimmer canon!! i just got here yesterday! im agender so i use they/them pronouns and aro/ace. stay cool bitches. go punch a transphobe or smth idk. i use a rainboy emoji before i talk (wow so creative (🌈)) there are also four clones of my best friend and i think a clone of my datemate that disappeared. so 36 countable people including me.

#my head is chaos

4 notes · View notes