#i am. not joking

[the-casbah-way]

99% sure i lost my ring today but i can’t actually remember if i was wearing it in the first place i swear if i have lost it i will kill myself my grandad made it for me

#i am. not joking #how the fuck would i lose it though. GOD

[casiavium]

I'm drunk and sorted all my friends HP cah by marauder someone help I'm reverting back to who I was in middle school

#tw alcohol #i am. not joking #today I was doing 8th grade algebra as text prep for the GRE #I had a very normal very serious conversation about werewolves animagi and metamorphmagi having children together #my hair is short again #s c r e a m i n g

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuk tims #senshi #Somewhat of an unofficial sequel to the Dragon Comic. I promise I have more versatility in my jokes. I just had to take this opportunity. #Senshi is pretty much a recluse. I think he would know a few of these 'gottems' but not all. #Chilchuck would know gottems that are nearly lost to time. The deep cuts. The ones that you fall for because they are that obscure. #I would also like to take a moment to confess that after the last comic in which I posed a gottem - #I fell victim to a Mind Goblin Attack. I was thoroughly got. I will be on higher alert this time. #So NOBODY be funny in the tags. I am gullible and I like to share things with my friends. Who are *ruthless*. #I have a mild resistance to Vicious Mockery at this point but I can only take so much. #Happy Thistle Thursday Everyone! See you next week!

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

#ra speaks #it’s a silly joke/pun dw #we stay silly :3 #edit: #woahg. that’s a lot of notes. hi everybody o/ #10k. stop clenching your jaw and drink some water. #15k. eat some fresh fruit this week! I’m having kiwis tonight :] #20k. quit sitting like a shrimp it’s bad for your neck! sit up straight and do a little stretch every now and then #25k. I’m up at 2 AM but I’ll get to see the sunrise today :] if you can’t see that I hope you admire the sunset later today #30k. do something fun you haven’t done in a while. I haven’t drawn in months - I think I’ll paint a cat tomorrow :3

[mrkanman]

kaufmo funny clown moments

#the amazing digital circus #tadc #gooseworx #ragatha #gangle #kaufmo #kant art #clowns cw #kaufmo vc *am i a hyucking joke to you*

[fallout-lou-begas]

who wants to tell her

#kristen stewart #hey baby want to get damaged irreversibly #<- this is a joke. i am trans fyi

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for lying to my dog about food being 'spicy?'

A while back I taught my dog what spicy foods are (by letting her sniff them and saying "Uh oh! Spicy!") and she figured out that it means it'll smell/taste bad and she immediately loses interest. It was initially an accident but it became really handy in getting her to leave food alone if it might hurt her.

Recently though I've started saying "Uh oh! Spicy!" about any food I don't want her to eat. If she's sitting and staring at me eating a regular non-spicy snack and I don't want to share, I'll tell her it's spicy so she'll stop begging for it. She believes me 100% of the time. She does have a 'leave it' command that she obeys as well, but she always acts so sad whenever I tell her to 'leave it' and it's something she wants.

I feel a little bad because she's an older dog (10y/o) and maybe I SHOULD be sharing my snacks with her, but sometimes a man's gotta enjoy his food in peace without a little creature gazing longingly at him the entire time and crying like the world's soggiest beast.

Included is a picture of her making her very best begging face so that everyone can accurately judge how evil I am for lying to her.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #joke aita #pet tax #thank you op i will now be repeating uh oh! spicy! to myself for days #(in a delighted way)

[z-mizcellaneous-z]

Fucking CRYING IM USING THAT PHRASE FOR EVERYTHING NOW

#My brother in ra what the fuck am I supposed to do with this????? #*gestures to all my trauma* #memes #meme #funny #haha #joke #jokes #mizismiz

[brookheimer]

awards shows are ridiculous and asinine and are everything wrong with the entertainment industry. that is unless my favorites win in which case awards shows are wonderful and objective and are arbiters of merit and justice in a world devoid of true talent recognition

#this is a joke i still hate awards shows. but i am eating well tonight i must admit!!!! #golden globes #succession #kieran culkin #sarah snook #<— speaking it into existence #edit: SHE WON ! #not like there was any other possible outcome #sister sweep!!! #100 #500 #this time on posts i didn’t expect to get notes #1000 #lolol #5000 #damn y’all

[reactionimagesdaily]

#I'd make a joke about making an AU that could probably function as original fiction but I think I did that in a caption already #reaction image #reaction meme #daily reaction images #image mood: I am so great

[arowrath]

REBLOG if you think they FUCKED RAW !!!!!

#text #sui joke #sry 2 the innocent bystanders (random ppl clicking tbe post to see the original) #im not even really a frerardie but one guy in my notes got mad abt it so i was like WELL I AM WHEN ITS FUNNY ! #so srry abt this post U understand

[fluffsnake]

based on this

#spn fanart #deancas #my art #cas #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #supernatural fanart #joking #or am i #:^) #look I can't help that I read it in Cas' voice ok #destiel #spn #destiel fanart

[loveofastarvingdog]

castiel loves you guys. thanks cas

#timothy's txts. #sometimes being nice is so so hard #and i do not like being talked to condescendingly!!!! and i do not like mean stupid comments!!! #but i am. not. going. to. be. an. asshole. #tw swearing #edit: this post is about me but i am fine with y’all tagging blorbos as you see fit and so wish #also this is not a joke

[eugeniedanglars]

buck: i’m so nervous

dean winchester: don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay

*3 hours later*

doctor: your surgery was a success

buck: wait, where’s dean?

doctor: who do you think gave you the bisexuality?

#911 abc #supernatural #911 spoilers #I CAN'T TELL YOU ALL HOW GLAD I AM I GET TO POST THIS STUPID JOKE #over 1k

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

#good omens #good omens memes #jokes #funny #:) #pie charts #what am I thinking of