#i didn't apologise to the well

[torgawl]

i keep thinking about how “is this what justice means to you, answer me neuvillette”, despite having been used in a case all those hundred of years ago, was probably a question that haunted - and still haunts - neuvilette during the entire time he has been chief of justice. i keep thinking about how they highlighted his struggles through time with both carole and wriothesley's trials. how guilty and powerless neuvillette must have felt for not being able to support and save those he recognised as vulnerable and victims before a system that corrupted their fates but that he wasn't able to change despite his position. the theme of being a casualty of a system no matter if you're the victim or the perpetrator in its eyes. the way neuvillette took, in both cases, things into his own hands. even if it was too late to fix the hurting carole and those who cared for her went through, even if it was too late to save her life; even if it was impossible to change wriothesley's past, his verdict and subsequent imprisonment; neuvillette went above and beyond, making use of his influence, to allow both melusines and wriothesley the opportunity of a better future - to melusines by making sure they weren't discriminated, to wriothesley by supporting his attempt at a second chance in life. i think part of the reason he's so intriguing is our awareness that this internal conflict he's bound to have is so complex. you have a chief of justice, or a judge, that is supposed to be imparcial and follow the law stictly confronted with situations of social injustice, unable to protect those who rely on him. you have someone who understands better than anyone what it means to be an outcast, being able to relate to those who are ostracised and have their pain weaponise against them. you have, in vautrin's case, a friend who cannot even showcase his own pain and is still expected to fullfil his juridical duties despite being personally related with those involved in the case. someone who people constantly turn to but whom he feels like he has no right to turn to himself. it's about the conflict between his feelings and his duty, between what's expected of him and what he can actually do. i think that's why the end of his story quest is so emotional and why it's so heartwarming to have him realise he isn't an outcast anymore, that he has a community there for him too. because a system is a system and he will probably never be able to save everyone, because yes he isn't human, but it doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to belong or that an active demonstration of love towards individuals and people he can relate to rather than the theoretical concept of humanity isn't meaningful. in fact, i'd it's a lot about that, about finding ways to be kind and how community gives meaning to life; how personal relationships and targeted kindness can shape society, or at least i think so

#i don't know if this makes sense but i like how character's stories in fontaine are interconnected in the perfect way that they're used to #give depth to each other while also existing perfectly independently #i forgot to add navia's story to the post but that's also another scenario used to characterise neuvillette #the same way wriothesley's backstory exists independently but it's also used to give depth into neuvillette's character and his motivations #the same way navia and clorinde's probably will as well #i always headcanoned (is that a verb 😂) neuvillette and wrio's friendship stemming from neuvillette trying to atone to his silence during #wrio's trial. i think it makes sense. i think it probably meant a lot to wrio too to have someone be so trustworthy after everything he #went through the betrayal from his adoptive family and his only aid through his life being the melusines who aren't human #and neuvillette being that sort of comforting older figure especially probably feels familiar to wrio #i have no idea what i'm trying to say actually i have a big headache at the moment and i feel almost delirious but i just love the concept #of neuvillette as a character and i think a lot about his friendship with wriothesley how it began and the grief and guilt neuvillette #probably still carries #but also about how he also gets the chance to a brighter future and how he achieves it so naturally without even realising #how he never expected anything from his compassion even if he saw it as duty and didn't interpret his own kindness as anything other than #his own responsabilty towards others #like idk am i making sense??? #he's just so cool 😂 #like yeah there's a layer of there's no reason he would have any animotisity towards humans because they're not at fault for the primordial #one's actions but from that to actually actively being so empathetic and compassionate goes a bit of a long way?! #okay i'm over i'll shut up this is probably si confusing i apologise if anyone read this mess shsjhs #this is also influenced by my tbk brainrot because loving others actively is a big theme and i just think that's beautiful actually #genshin thoughts #genshin impact #my post

[bougiebutchbitch]

wow I've sure blocked or unfollowed a lot of people I used to really like and respect over their absolutely abominable opinions recently

#this is about people being horrifically pro-!sra3l by the way #not fandom stuff #though it also could be lmaoooooo I've unfollowed some people I used to think were cool over that too #but obviously that's not comparable #just #'I think p@l3stinians deserved it because they voted in h@mas' is certainly A Take. And not a good one #as is 'well if you're j3wish and you haven't explicitly said you're pro-p@l3stine I think we can be a bit anti-s3mitic actually' #like holy shit do you people hear yourselves #folks in gaza are being slaughtered and will be slaughtered again #it's a LITERAL genocide by any metric. #that is ATROCIOUS #like pro-Isr@el people: you cannot make it any clearer that you think their lives are worth less than yours (white people's...) #But. to a certain subset of the pro-P@lestine folks. #it is also atrocious for you to demand that every jewish person in the entire world genuflect and apologise for something they didn't do #especially when jewish people across the world are actually often among the foremost critics of Isr@el #like... your antisemitism is SHOWING #yes I have been using the annoying tiktok word censoring thing because I don't wanna put this in the tags

[anophelei]

The people unashamedly trying to take advantage of the thousands of innocent Palestinian people murdered in Israeli war crimes, twisting the knife in the back of Palestine for an opportunity to remind you that you still have to vote for Joe Biden, undoubtedly counting among the people with the most blood on their hands, have already made it clear they do not care about anyone but themselves, and have gone out of their way to prove it.

Somehow they've managed to sink even lower, and are genuinely, in all earnesty, justifying their continued support for Biden in the wake of him pledging his unconditional support of genocide, with the exact same fucking line they used almost 3 fucking years ago to pressure people into voting him into power in the first place. It was already obvious they had no intention of "Pushing Biden to the Left", that they didn't give a single shit about any of the people they were so ardently claiming to be protecting from Trump, and that they would go to the ends of the earth to justify anything and everything he could possibly do.

And now that he's chomping at the bit about aiding and abetting Israel in raining down hell and phosphorous and napalm on innocent people, now that thousands of people have lost their loved ones to such irreverent cruelty, they've decided it's time for an important reminder; Genocide doesn't change anything, and not only do you have to get out and vote for someone complicit in every single atrocity, every single casualty, you have to do it for the same pathetic excuse we made last time, "because we can push Biden to the "left"", even though there hasn't been a single shred of progress, or even any attempt to do so in the three years since we said this last time. You could say that participation in actual, ongoing genocide, is a catastrophic failure in that metric; that we might as well have been pulling this whole fucking time; and right this very moment is the most unbelievably selfish, entitled, petulant and self interested, and abhorrent, manipulative, cruel, spiteful, bitter and fucking disgusting time anyone could have possibly chosen to say this, when people are entirely cut off from their loved ones with no way to know if they are okay, it's important to remember that you're the bad person here due to your belief that supporting genocide in any capacity is an unforgivable crime. The real crime is NOT voting in support of genocide, when the other option is Literal Fascists !!

I'm not even fucking joking, this entire thing started because this piece of shit thought a Palestinian calling people out for supporting Biden was akin to "thinking the entirety of one side is bad", which due to a complex reasoning and nuanced understanding of "this conflict", he was able to realise that was far too simplistic, and now enlightened, knew that attacking enemy toddlers was wrong. So too did he share his nuanced and complex understanding with OP, since they were understanding things too simplistically. "American politics is not that simple either"

Just like killing babies is wrong even if they're on the enemy team, American politics is not as simple as you thinking I am disgusting and selfish for supporting genocide. #nuance

#genocide #Gaza #Palestine #joe biden #free palestine #biden thinks people will cool down come electon. biden supporters think people are stupid enough that they're just going to forget what #“we can push him to the left AFTER the election is over” looked like #it looks like genocide. it sounds like bombs you can hear from 80km away. it smells like pulverised concrete and blood. #it tastes like it smells made worse by parched throats and thirst. #i cannot even begin to imagine what it must feel like. #if you for some reason read the whole mess and are sus about the “biden may not be a fascist” etc it's half just saying that and half for #ambiguity being useful rhetorically. of course they were too oblivious to anything I'd said that they didn't even realise i hadnt said it #idk what i would categorise biden as though. the müller comparison is apt to some extent at least. #also please let me know if any of the phrasing is inappropriate ? I don't really know to what capacity “martyred” n “martyrs” are used #and idk how to use them appropriately therefore didn't use them. the same goes for anything else and i apologise for my ignorance of #Palestinian culture and language and ... in general. it's #unfortunate but I only know the occupation - the Resistance - and their histories - as things I know well. I will do my best to fix that #but for now if I may ask for your help with letting me know. Feel like a yt person for having to ask lol. #from the river to the sea palestine will be free

[jakeperalta]

spent weeks psyching myself up to stand up to my mum and then immediately got shot down by her 😃👍

#vent incoming i apologise in advance for the long tags #we've lived together just the two of us since dec 2021 (although her boyfriend is here like 2/3 of the time as well) #and since i got my job in march 2022 i have been paying half of all the bills (literally down to like tv license when i barely watch the tv) #which is £300 a month #plus i buy all my own food + pay for the amazon prime she uses + contribute to various household things like toilet roll etc #and she doesn't have a mortgage so i am paying the same amount as her to live in her house #(and it is very much her house not our house) #and I've never been very happy with any of that but never complained either #but then recently it turned out she never set up the water bill when we moved in (it's one of the only bills i didn't sort for us) #so we have a huge backdated bill from dec 2021 and i knew she was going to tell me to pay half #so for the past month or so I've been preparing myself for this conversation and sure enough today she came and said 'we owe £700' #so i was like 'oh i thought maybe it would've been covered by my £300/month' which is the biggest stand I've been able to work myself up to #and she immediately started going on about how i live here too and use water too so it's just as much my responsibility to pay #and how when we're both earning i should be paying my share and i was like yeah i know that's why i never complained about paying before #but also i already pay more than most people would to live with their parents #and she went off about how actually most people charge their grown up kids rent on top of the bills so really i'm lucky i don't have to #(when she got the original £300 figure it was actually rounded up from like £240 to include 'rent' but i wasn't gonna bring that up now) #and in conclusion she doesn't see why she should be subsidising my bills #like i don't know maybe because you're my MOTHER and i am your CHILD who is just starting out in the adult world #and maybe that entitles me to being treated better than some lodger???!!!!! #anyway i paid the bill and now i'm trying and failing at not crying at my desk 😃 #talking

[batfamfucker]

I will now be personally headcanoning that Bruce pulled Tim aside one day to ask his opinion on if Tim would ever consider changing or adding Alfred to his middle name(s). I've always interpreted Jack Drake as having been abusive towards Tim, due to some of the comics where he's been violent and such (Like the time he destroyed some of Tim's belongings and such when he was angry at him, or the straight up neglect when Jack and Janet went to explore the world regularly and leave Tim behind, forgot his birthday, etc), and so I feel like sometimes Tim would feel icky about keeping his middle name as 'Jackson' after his biological father (I'm surprised he ever kept 'Drake' and didn't just fully move to 'Wayne', but alas). I feel like Bruce would also be aware that Tim sometimes feels left out of the family, especially due to the early years of him and Damian's dynamic and constantly being told he was never Bruce's 'real son'. It doesn't take a lot of common sense to realise those kind of words will linger, even after the brothers have improved their relationship. I had originally thought to consider this with Damian, but he's already named after Thomas, so I feel as though Bruce would choose Tim so that he gets to both honour his second father, and let Tim know that he will always be Bruce's son and a part of the family, regardless of DNA. Tim accepts, and so his middle name becomes Alfred, instead of Jackson.

Alfred doesn't find out until he's going over some family legal documents and sees it. He cries when he does.

#I feel as though Bruce would have also considered Jason especially when Jason adores Alfred #And he knows Jason can also feel estranged from the family for obvious reasons #So I feel he would've discussed it with him too as well as Dick to let them know that he isn't trying to leave either of them out #Or make them feel like they're not his sons. But he thinks it would really help Tim's ongoing doubts whilst ensuring he wasn't named #After his abuser (Again I'm ignoring the Drake thing) #And I think Jason and Dick would be understand of it. Dick is named after his biological dad who he loves so he's all good. And Jason is #Aware that Bruce loves him after some therapy and family counselling sessions that Bruce took them to to improve their relationship #Which worked. So Jason knows Bruce is always going to cherish him as his son despite their history. And also both #Brothers are very aware of Tim's feelings (Jason and Tim have bonded over it. He knows how bad Tim can get mentally when he thinks about it #too much) so Jason is completely fine letting his baby brother have the name. Makes up for those bad early days between them a little #Which Jason does still feel guilty about and has talked over with Tim during some of their deep talks where he apologised for it. #Either way I feel like it's the classic Big BrotherTM who also wants his Baby BrotherTM to be okay even if he doesn't admit it #I'm also headcanoning that Cass who didn't have a middle name was approached by Bruce who asked if she liked Martha as a contender #She definitely did #Anyway- I won't tag everyone because I've used half the tag limit already so just the ones in the post #Tim Drake #Bruce Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #Robin #Red Robin #Batman #Agent A #Tim Drake Wayne #Tim Wayne #Batfamily #Abuse mention tw #Headcanon

[avatarofwar]

i saw you talk about wolf a few times from sekiro and was wondering if you'd want to share more of your thoughts on him or sekiro as a whole, the game really interests me compared to other dark souls games so i wanted to ask

sorry for the late reply but oh boy do I have thoughts abt wolf. trying not to spoil the game, so I'm gonna refrain from talking about the story. might go into just restating known things about the game, but I'd much rather play it safe and not spoil the story

before going to that. the game is very much different from dark souls (setting wise, while taking place in a fictional country it is in a historical setting. I cannot comment on the setting properly bc I don't know much about the time period, however), most notably in the combat (primarily shifting from a dodge-centric playstyle to a parry-centric playstyle (significantly easier than dark souls/elden ring parrying, however), with dodges having significantly shorter i-frames and being very unreliable for dodging attacks). it's very different but something I really enjoy, even if I'm not as good as I am at typical soulsborne combat. it's really fun when you get the hang of it, and while I might not be The Best at it (which is mostly bc of how different it is from soulsborne games, so ofc I'm not as good at is as I am at the other fromsoft games I've played), it's something I can still enjoy

a huge thing about sekiro is the difference in how the story is told. in soulsborne games the story is something you have to figure out; progressing through the main path doesn't give you enough to piece everything together if you don't read any lore. with sekiro, however, the story is significantly more obvious, on account of the playable character having unique ties to the world and its characters, rather than going the soulsborne route of being one of many people (wording hard, but the chosen undead for example is no one special, just one of many undead trying to link the flame). it's a very different method of storytelling, but is still something really good. for as much as I adore having to actively hunt down lore and story in soulsborne games, it's also great experiencing story through natural game progression

wolf is also canonically disabled (loses his left arm at the start of the game) and has a really fucking cool prosthetic that is a whole part of the combat system (even though I personally keep forgetting to use it). so good for him. he deserves a prosthetic that can have deadly weaponry attached to it. like a mini-flamethrower. he deserves a mini-flamethrower, as a treat.

putting the wolf thoughts beneath a read more because this is getting long and I might spoil some stuff (mostly relationship with another character, I'll try to refrain from story spoilers. also spoilers in general, but there might be some), and he has definitely become a blorbo (additionally, content warning for abuse)

first of all. wolf makes me want to throw myself off a cliff and I mean this in the most positive way ever. he is great and I love him but man he needs so much fucking therapy and he doesn't even realise it (therapy probably doesn't exist in that time period, but besides the point). he is very much traumatised and has been heavily shaped by it and doesn't even know it.

prior to the events of the game (I forgot how long ago it was) he was orphaned by war and got taken in by owl, a shinobi and also a piece of fucking garbage. owl raises wolf to be a shinobi under the iron code, with the number one rule being loyalty to his father (owl), with his master (kuro, the divine heir) a close second (and also to give his life for his master if necessary. which is also a whole other thing to get into).

owl is very explicitly abusive. he raises wolf as a tool rather than a person, and that upbringing severely affects wolf as a character - he is an incredibly capable shinobi, but lacks any skills other than that; he does not know how to be a proper person, he is a loyal wolf, but he does not know how to be anything other than that. hell, without spoiling too much about the context, there is a cutscene in which owl actively attempts to guilt trip wolf, going as far as using fake tears (saying anything specific is very spoilery. this isn't even the only horrid thing he's done, but I'm trying to refrain from too many spoilers).

wolf canonically does not value himself without anyone to serve (we see this at the beginning of the game, as events prior to the start of the game not yet known about leads him to believe he has no one to serve, and thus no purpose, so he isolates himself from the world in a well for 3 years). while he does have compassion for others (most notable example being concern over victims of dragonrot), he starts off the game driven primarily by duty. he is loyal to a fault, willing to do anything for kuro, but also valuing his service to kuro more than himself (cannot remember the exact wording, but when kuro expresses concern for how many times wolf has died for him, wolf states that it does not matter as it was in service to him).

there's also the fact that wolf canonically eats uncooked rice and genuinely doesn't know - as a fully grown adult - you are supposed to cook it, which is... genuinely something awful if you truly think about it and what more it implies about his upbringing especially considering it's one of the most basic things you could learn how to make (just... says a lot about owl if you seriously think about it).

he is a loyal wolf, but he doesn't know how to be more than that. he doesn't know how to just... exist for himself, to be his own person separate of his duty and he doesn't even recognise just how fucked up it is, because how could he, when he was shaped into this as a child, when his own father wanted him to be nothing more than a tool to use.

I could say a lot more about his relationships with other characters (that are actually good people) and how it just. makes me lose my mind, but this post is almost 1k words. so, simply put, kuro genuinely caring about him makes me so fucking emotional, especially bc of owl; his father might be horrible and an abuser, he might not know how to be more than he was raised, but at the very least he can serve someone who actively cares about him and his wellbeing.

#THERE IS SO MUCH TO DISSECT ABT HIS CHARACTER AND HOW HEAVILY IT WAS AFFECTED BY HIS UPBRINGING #I've seen a handful of people call him boring bc he doesn't say much and isn't that expressive emotionally and none of them are valid #I'm gonna explode those people with my mind powers. he isn't boring you just don't understand how to analyse characters #I need need need to get this man to some fucking therapy he so desperately needs it and doesn't even know it #if there ever was a fromsoft character most in need of therapy poll he would sweep and if he didn't I'd explode people with my mind powers #also I realise now a lot of my thoughts abt the game are just. restating known parts abt the game. I apologise for not being more specific #if you wanted to know my thoughts abt the story specifically. oops. I AM sorry but I do want to play it safe #I also do really appreciate how it was like. the (or at least one of?) first game in this time period made by a japanese company #which is part of why there are some things I do not know how to comment on bc I am very much a white canadian #also has a small poison swamp location. might be a plus for some people. I personally don't mind most poison swamps too much though #and ngl I kinda miss the iconic large poison swamp you have to traverse. it could be really fun being able to grapple #did I mention his prosthetic has a fucking grapple built in? well it does and it's really fun for movement.

[insignificantfailure]

Can I please just stop inconveniencing everyone?

#just gonna vent agaim #so I was making some traditional salad with my partner's mom (they're my parents as well at this point) #and I'm vegetarian right? so we were making two separate bowls of it #and my partner came to help and I switched the bowls to help and put the one with meat closer to her #and by instinct her mom put meat in my salad #and she panicked really bad but then it was safe because they managed to save like half of it that the meat didn't touch #we thought it was all good in the end #oh well until I got to eating my salad and I stop in horror realising that there. was. meat. in my mouth #and I didn't talk about it before but for me being vegetarian is like 20% for the animals and the rest because of the texture #+ I studied biology in detail in university and knowing what's in there disgusts me to the core #so there you have me gagging and running to the bathroom #and his mom felt terrible and she apologised to me so many times #I feel terrible because it wasn't even her fault #it's mine because I moved the bowls #I feel terrible because everytime I'm meeting with family I'm such an inconvenience because I don't eat meat #her mom and also my mom cook two separate meals everytime #of course I always tell them to let me cook for myself but they insist #I'm actually very grateful but I feel so bad #personal #vent #venting

[mental-jhinstability]

JhinThresh server encourages my High Noon obsession, more at noon

Another ramble by a gay cowboy, about gay cowboys, for my gay (cowboys in spirit) friends.

Some NSFW, nothing directly explicit but there's some level of detail. OOC as always but I've been informed I'm based so... hopefully it's based this time, too?

This specifically is about them being drunk. To start, I headcanon Jhin as an emotional drunk (imagine him getting all emotional about his horse loving him too and practically crying in front of a probably sober Thresh who finds this adorable and jealousy-inducing, because Jhin should giving HIM all that attention) and Thresh as a more relaxed drunk--as in he gets a little more loose-lipped. This will also involve my bartender High Noon Jax, because why shouldn't it. We all know these idiots cannot do anything about their feelings without being beaten over the head with a lamp.

More of another "things I wanna write but probably won't" than a headcanon ramble, but whatever. Jhin comes in to the bar, and Jax already has his first drink (of four) ready by the time he's even at the bar. And, of course, being the weirdo bartender; Jax is already asking him if he's asked out Thresh yet. Giving advice, teasing him. Jhin doesn't respond much, just finishes his drinks and gets out as quick as possible. But now there's an issue; he's a bit drunk and now he has Thresh on his mind. Given that I said he's a more emotional drunk earlier, this is a much bigger issue than he thinks it is. He just heads to the barn, because really what else is there to do when you're a drunk cowboy (aside from fucking and/or killing)?

Thresh is there. He watches as Jhin cries over his horse, talks to it. He's jealous for a few minutes. The horse is getting all this attention, and not him? And then Jhin asks his horse what he should do about his “weird feelings” for a certain man. He doesn't mention Thresh's name, but now Thresh is even MORE jealous. Who's this other guy stealing his victim slash weird crush? Unforgivable. I haven't really imagined much past this, and I'm no good with smut, but Thresh probably gets a little drunk himself, reveals himself to Jhin, who is now cagey and cold to Thresh due to not wanting to admit the guy he loves was him, and then Thresh fucks him because he's jealous. Maybe involving a riding crop. And Thresh's chain/rope/thing. And possible admission of feelings. Who knows.

And a second part… flirting. Their flirting is really weird, because they don’t. They just do a LOT of homoerotic touches and things for each other. Both of them realise this, but neither rationalise it correctly and think the other doesn’t think it’s homoerotic. They think they’re enemies/rivals/begrudging friends, despite both of them feeling attached to the other. I went over the physical homoerotic touch aspects in both of my previous rambles, but I guess I’ll go for other ways here.

Thresh tends to braid Jhin’s horse’s hair the same way he always does it. He doesn’t do a particularly good job and Jhin always scolds him and says “that’s not how you do it, you fool” etc etc until he’s giving Thresh a lecture on how to braid hair. This goes on until Jhin ends up just grabbing Thresh’s hands and “guiding him” (aka just doing the whole thing for him) through it. Thresh knows full well how to braid hair after the first time; but he continues to do it just so he has Jhin’s full attention. As I’ve mentioned he cannot rationalise this in a normal way (“This is torture because I’m taking his time and energy away from more important things, to make him easier to break”) and neither can Jhin. He likes teaching Thresh but he’s not sure why (it’s because he likes feeling in control, as well as the feeling of having Thresh as a captive audience) and instead chooses to think it’s just because he likes being correct. It’s flirting, just nonverbally.

On the same note, Jhin tends to make an effort to argue with Thresh over things. Anything, regardless of how monotonous or how pointless the argument is. He likes getting an anger reaction out of Thresh. He finds it hot (which he mistakes for just being an adrenaline addict; they’re not all buddy-buddy so he figures it’s only natural to get worked up by your enemy/rival getting angry at you). He gets genuinely upset when Thresh doesn’t react or argue back or even concede. He wants something other than constant teasing or silence, and when he doesn’t get that something, he gets a bit fussy and usually ends up touching Thresh in some way to rile him up. Sexually or non-sexually, it doesn’t matter. It gets a reaction and he gets to touch Thresh, so it’s a win-win.

If we combine the two, drunk flirting. Jhin gets emotional, so with enough provoking from Thresh usually you can get a flirty comment—albeit vague and a bit unorthodox—from him. He still tries to maintain a mask of indifference or hatred towards him when drunk but he falls on his face and ends up letting a few things, whether they be emotions or words, slip. Thresh, being loose-lipped, is usually the one to end up very explicitly flirting with Jhin when drunk. Compliments his body, calls him cute and pathetic, says he wants to hear him scream. He, of course, has some level of plausible deniability with these comments when sober, but when drunk he doesn’t tend to defend himself. He never admits it’s flirting, but he’ll not say no. Oh also they both get horny when drunk so if they’re later in to their homoerotic rivalry they probably fuck. Up to you.

Also… please read the tags of this post. There’s a few little related side tangents in there, if you’re interested.

#jhinthresh #i feel like they also flirt thru doing things for eachother without saying anything #jhin cleaning thresh's stuff. thresh making sure jhin's riding helmet is somewhere very visible (usually on the floor just to piss him off) #just to serve as a little reminder to be safe. though i mentioned how he rationalises that last ramble post #he's worried about his little bf </3 #i have no idea how alcohol works if you can't tell. i have gotten tipsy about once and i've been able to drink for... how many years now #well over a decade #just not in to it. so if anyone who Does drink alcohol wants to correct something please do #i'd also like to apologise for any spelling errors/weird mistakes i didn't catch #i nearly died today so i'm a little shaken LOL #anyway shoutout to jamie (can i call you that) for encouraging the High Noon Virus #he was the one who got me in to jhinthresh albeit indirectly so to me he's a bit like a celebrity #well. all of you are kinda like that to me. you are so cool #but every time someone says they like my little headcanon rambles it's like !!!!!?????!!! #so thanks y'all <3

[disaster-vampire]

i love when doctors that work in the mental health field assure you they have "experience" with gender dysphoria and then they don't even ask you how you'd prefer they refer to you

#latest one has been that lady who was weird abt me being very well spoken/self aware in terms of my own mental health #when i said the person i'm seeing for my gender therapy is one of the few that does it on the island she looked offended #and then she literally wished me happy women's day when we had an apptmt on march 8th #i literally replied no. my mom got all fussy abt it and the lady didn't even apologise #sure you totally have experience with gender dysphoria

[tonya-the-chicken]

I fucking love family drama because everyone is calling you talking about it and I am just sitting here like do you think I give a shit. I don't care about you. Sorry for keeping an appearance, I just don't want to be mean to you when you're old and refuse to grow in any direction but backward

#mom is like well I apologised already what else am i supposed to do kill myself????? #like if that is the attitude you put into your apology than yeah I get why she didn't forgive #idk man I am kind of on the side of the person that doesn't involve me into the drama I don't want to be in #personal

[robotslenderman]

have you ever blocked a long term friend and like. not missed them. at all.

#I guess feeling like they hadn't even liked me for YEARS helps with that huh #I feel a bit wistful but I don't regret it at all? #there's been one time where I did block someone and missed them like crazy and ended up apologising bc I flew off the handle there #for a dumbass reason #another person I unfollowed and missed but knew it was better not to go back so I didn't #but I don't miss this one #even after knowing them most of my life #oh well. we were never close anyway #and for years I felt like they didn't even like me #I guess I got tired of not knowing why they just kept me around #especially after their fame got to their head #it's been over six months and after I blocked them absolutely nothing changed #which kind of makes me feel sad now

[goddevouringserpent]

Do you have any celebrity crushes?

HMMM I do have many celebrities I find attractive but I don't know if those count as celebrity crushes, per se? Because I think that for it to count as a crush there has to be a certain degree of... proactivity to it, or at least be a little be more involved than just looking at a person who happens to be a celebrity and think "wow, you're hot, Nice" lol

THAT BEING SAID. I have a well-known, well-documented weakness for women of metal & rock, such as Alissa White-Gluz (this picture explains it all), Cristina Scabbia, Floor Jansen, Melissa Bonny, Taylor Momsen, Lzzy Hale—the list goes on and on lol. Also Ethel Cain gets a special mention despite not making that kind of music simply because of her vibes.

Then, because the bisexuality will not let me rest: VV, but specifically 2000s era VV (not to say he isn't hot now, he very much is, I just fucked heavily with the gender vibes he had going on then). Also Brian Molko, for the aforementioned gender vibe reasons. And Hozier.

Then, stepping away from musicians, we've got Rhea Ripley—which, disclaimer: I do not watch wrestling at all, I just saw gifs of her on tumblr and immediately went 😳 Um Hello Ma'am What Can I Do For You—and Michael Mando and Rhea Seehorn and, and. And actually let's stop here. I've got to keep a measure of dignity don't I. (also I forgor all the other people I've ever seen. I'm lucky I managed to squeeze this much information out of my brain honestly so I'm taking it as a win.)

#Maia speaks #this was going to be a short answer and then—what's that? it's THE BISEXUALITY coming in with a steel chair! #and THEN it was going to be even longer than this until the ADHD forgetfulness hit. 😔 oh well. #if this shows up in any tags I do apologise & promise I didn't mean to spam or anything!

[lonelier-version-of-you]

S15E04 "If Not For You"

#Holby City #Henrik Hanssen #Karol Nowak #my edits #my gifs #gif warning #ep: s15e04 If Not For You #this gifset was meant for the day before yesterday for this episode's 10th anniversary #obviously i didn't have it done for then but i wanted to get it up eventually anyway #i wish jamie crichton had written more for henrik he got him so well #this is one of my absolute favourite henrik episodes and i love this scene #i don't think people realise just how significant it is for early henrik #henrik is incredibly vulnerable here in a way he barely ever had been before #and the whole 'i thought that i could save him... imperfect symmetry' #i have EMOTIONS about this scene okay #i also love karol but you all know that #also i didn't realise just how long this gifset would be lol #i do apologise to you all for that

[monster-noises]

HFNGKFKEKF just saw my ex on tinder...

(My good ex not my bad ex.)

I don't think we will match again based on our profiles now but it's Tempting to try and match and just say Hi.....

#monster noises #he just moved it seems and it looking for connection in-area and very casually #and i've cast about as wide a net as tinder will let me and am seeking something more serious #so i don't think my profile will even show up for him given the distance #and also i have him on twitter i believe so i could just say Hi there #our break up wasn't on bad terms but i Do have some stuff to apologise for from the aftermath.. #(there was an incident with his roomate post-break up where I didn't stand up for what I Knew was right/wrong and let them lie to him #and tell him we went on a date just to be petty.. I we were both upset with him at the time but i knew it was wrong in the moment and #acted like a coward and I shouldn't have trusted his roommate given their history and have doubts the situation was exactly as they said) #regardless it looks like he's happy and doing well which is much better than were I left him and I'm really happy for him/proud of him

[eklipxe]

The way your mother will traumatise to no end and then act like u can't be mad at them and never recognise their mistakesl

#abuse tw #mother mention #i may sound like a bitch because my mother actually still cares about me #but shell attack me for supposedly breaking or losing smth #and when actually i didn't even do anything.. #and then never apologise knowing damn well how much im afraid of #breaking/losing stuff (BECAUSE OF THEM)

[ailendolin]

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" is all about the ephemeral nature of life and beauty and the poet's desire to make the beloved immortal through his poetry, I can't link it here but please look it up, it's really emotional when you realise these are the words Thomas is whispering to Alison in episode 2. I also find it really emotional that the first reasonable thing he asks of her is to help him read. He can't hold a book, he's been starved for words for 200 years.

I must admit I'm not well acquainted with Shakespeare's works in general but Sonnet 18 is one of the few poems I do know and there's just something about it that really tugs at my heartstrings. Because comparing someone to something as lovely as a summer's day is already beautifully touching, but then immediately saying they are even lovelier than that and making sure that's how people are going to remember them no matter how much time passes is just ... 🥺

I think it's very telling that this is the poem Thomas chooses as the first thing to read because in a way, he and the other ghosts are just like the 'fair youth' Shakespeare addresses in his poem: forever immortalised in one specific way. They stay how they die, meaning their eternal summer will never fade, just like the 'fair youth's' won't.

But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;

Except now that Alison has come into their lives, the ghosts are slowly beginning to experience change again and the end of episode 1x02 shows that beautifully. There are suddenly things they can look forward to (Kitty's sleepover with Alison), new things they can learn and discover (the Captain's documentaries, or the internet in Julian's case) as well as challenges that make old things feel fresh and new (Robin getting a new chess partner in Alison). They can take a little control back over their lives (Fanny and the painting) and even get to experience something once beloved again (Thomas and the Sonnets). To keep in line with Shakespeare's words: their summer might still be eternal but it has now gone back to being an ordinary summer, one that adheres to nature's changing course once again.

Thomas, the one character who arguably changes the least over the three series, even voices that. He's the one constantly insisting, "You stay how you die," except in 1x06 when Alison wants to sell the house he's telling her, "We can change!" Which makes him reading that specific poem that is all about change and staying the same even more poignant. While everyone else is more interested in the present (or in the Captain's case, in utilising modern ('present') tools to gain knowledge he had been denied when he was alive), Thomas is asking Alison for a book from the past. He could have asked for any of the hundreds of books in Button House he never had a chance to read. But he doesn't. He's asking for one he probably read a thousand times before and knows by heart. This symbolises in a subtle but very beautiful way how hard it is for him to change and let go of the Thomas who died 200 years ago and has been stuck ever since.

So yes, anon, I agree: it is emotional. Thank you so much for sending me this ask and giving me the opportunity to talk about Thomas and his (in)ability to change.

#you probably didn't expect a whole essay on this but once I started I couldn't stop #I've been wanting to talk about Thomas and change for ages but couldn't really figure out how to put my thoughts together #him reading this poem to Alison was the missing key #also like I said I'm not well versed when it comes to Shakespeare's works so I apologise if I got something wrong #I'm also not a native English speaker so analyses like this one are quite hard for me to write #thomas thorne #bbc ghosts #mp bbc ghosts