#i don't control the google doc

[elderwisp]

The Creative Process ‧₊˚✩彡 

Because I love to be distracted

Hi! Ok, I wanted to share wif everyone my process in which I create a story post from conception to the final post. I would say I'm a very structured person when it comes to projects like these however, I've learned a lot and maybe someone could find something useful! We'll be referencing this scene. Oke, let's start!

✩ Rough Drafts

So, of course everything starts off with a vision. While I always say, write what feels authentic to you, I also know it makes things much more difficult if you don't have a solid ground to build from. I think I've scrapped this particular story about twice already and even reshot the first chunk of Tessellate so there was a better foundation. I like to start off with understanding a character before moving onto creating a plot, otherwise people start bleed into another. Greta Gerwig makes a really awesome statement about how characters come first to her before plot. OKE with that in mind, this particular scene, I wrote it well over a year ago, however there wasn't much flow in the initial draft. In fact, the two look nothing alike. This conversation was supposed to occur during France's concert, but I moved it to to this particular scene and I'm so glad. I felt like their current relationship was strong enough to have this conversation but also it allowed me to really focus in on the two. I am a huge advocate for jotting down dialogue even if things change because you can always expand on an idea. And if things don't work, scrapping is okay, but at least you gave it a shot! After that change, I didn't revisit that scene up until about a month and a half ago. I like to let things sit for a good while. In the initial draft, Taryn was reserved throughout a majority of the conversation. There was limitations in which how I wanted her to express things but things change in a year. When I looked at her as a character and how she's progressed throughout the story, the draft no longer aligned with her lack of response. And then that created the question of what the heck does one say? Because people aren't typically very graceful or eloquent when it comes to confrontation but also we're telling a story so how do I balance the two out? Since, I've followed these little blorbos for a while, knowing their characters and motives allowed me to flesh everything out. Atlas is much more cunning than he lets on and is excellent at painting a pretty picture for those around him if it means getting what he wants. Taryn on the other hand is perceptive and unwavering so being around someone like him, someone that she finds herself slowly falling for, is a complete, well, mind fuck. We can also see from this interaction that there's a hint of feeling inadequate and the lack of confidence to know that maybe he does like her. We also see that Atlas maybe isn't the most mature when it comes to developing something real so the two have plenty to work on just from this scene alone. Like Greta Gerwig says, writing is listening.

I also wanted to mention LocalScriptMan and this video all the time because it just about changed how I viewed dialogue in general. I think it's such a great tool! I've probably shared it a billion times.

✩ Blender & Posemaking

So I would like to preface this by saying, you do not need to use blender to achieve a vision. There are still scenes that I still use poses/animations from other creators! I wanted to list a few references! Rebouks, Rascgal and Simmireen have an amazing variety of poses to use! I literally use Becca's bumper packs RELIGOUSLY! However, if you need any suggestions, SurelySim's has an excellent breakdown on getting started with posemaking from tiny details, to SimRipper and using accessories! She also talks about Vyxated's Pose Helper which is a god send! For this scene I wanted to fully pose it. In my script, I italicize anything I want to pose, I'm such a sucker for the mannerisms that people have. When words fail, body language speaks. Are they fidget-y, or do I imagine them to be more composed? Taryn's stance is grounded, she doesn't move at all in the scene except for when she leaves and I think it's a great representation of her stubbornness. Whereas Atlas is watching every single move, up until he makes his incredibly bold (ridiculous!) statement. As for emotion when he made that statement, I wanted to go with shame but then I felt like his expression radiated ruthlessness. I personally enjoyed that 10x more because it represented two things for me, his character and that he felt comfortable enough to show that part of himself. When posing a scene from start to finish, it takes me about 1-3 days depending on how complex it is. I'm a huge advocate for using references! I love referencing hands, posture, how to grab a book ANYTHING! Because this was a conversation and not much action happened, it took me about a day.

✩ Taking Screenshots and Composition

I began taking photos for this scene on March 6th. I use to use this reshade preset by growfruit however, after tinkering with some settings I use like a mish-mash blorbo of a preset. Amobae and Sforz have some cool LUT's for download (I think of it like a filter? That's probably not what it is but MEH) and I love the qUINT's lightroom shader as well. Huge advocate of relight, I was today years old when I learn that you should load it at the top of your shaders order so you don't get like a weird whitecast. These spotlights though are super fun too if you don't use reshade! There are some photographers on instagram that even go over how to use lightroom and it can translate to game as well! For the most part, I try to keep screenshots pretty simple, editing-wise but there are moments when I doodle in little hairs, add in some texture and include shadows for, uh, DRAMAAA. Lately, I've been incorporating intricate fonts because idk sometimes my brain enjoys a little graphic design moment. Sometimes shooting conversation heavy scenes can get so repetitive so I like to look at film stills on pinterest or pay close attention to a film and how they present the camera work in a conversation. Rule of thirds is a great reference tool to use, I believe GShade has a shader for that. However it's okay to experiment, it's not an end all be all. I love looking at animators and how each frame is incredibly intentional, whether it's a shot from above or a really close frame. The beginning of this scene, I honestly didn't have a clue as to how I wanted to open it up since they were walking down a hall. Then I noticed the detail in the fencing and how the tiles were opposite. Using the TOOL mod, I was able to get them both in the center and it created a strong opening shot of how different these two are.

✩ Editing

My god, I love editing but also this is usually the moment where I get so freaking distracted. This process takes me a day if I am focused.... But realistically it takes three days.... That's why I try to keep things to a minimum. I do use Photoshop. I like to use this sharpening action (the other actions are awesome too!) for story posts, I crop each photo (I use a 9:5 ratio and a 16:6 ratio if I need to focus on something specific idk why i picked those numbers yo), and add in text. Dafont has a lot of different free fonts. I like to use these little guidelines if sentences needs to be centered.

For adding umph to text, I like to use two things: The warped text option when using the type tool or just going to the distort panel and using the wave option!

Also bottom right of your layers channel is an fx layer. I like to use stroke and drop shadow on all text so it doesn't get lost within a photo!

✩ Finalization and My Schedule

That story post was uploaded on March 29th. As of right now, I like to stay three weeks ahead so I have three weeks worth of story posts marinating in my queue LMAO. I always reread things like a bajillion times, sometimes I'll go back and tweak conversations if they feel a bit stiff. Having that three week buffer also gives me time to really dedicate myself to details and focus on being present with a future scene. Another perk is, it allows me to work on cleaning up the script, plotting for future arcs, and having fun with edits. When I used to upload story videos on youtube, I didn't really plan ahead and it was so chaotic for me. Sometimes I didn't have enough time to actually create a solid episode so things felt rushed because on top of that I had a schedule I committed to. This isn't necessary but structure and patterns is something my little brain needs.

I hope this maybe provided some tips for people wanting to start out or it was just a fun little thing to read! One final OP tip is to write about something that you enjoy, something that matters to you. I'm one mf that loves a fleshed out character arc, that doesn't like linear plots and for fucks sake I love a good slow burn and I think all of that reflects a lot which helps me be engaged.

#damn me really talking about my hyperfixation with the fellow gamers #there might be hella run ons sorry my brain is a run on i don't control dat #u get one sneak peak too in the film roll #i wish i had rough drafts of dialogue but bc i use google docs i don't have any prior copies >.< #idk wtf to tag this #tessellate: extras #sims 4 story #sims 4 story tips

[running-in-the-dark]

something is just. wrong with me lol

#... I just looked at the google doc for my dumb story thing. and it's 30 pages rn. #dude I couldn't manage to write 35 pages for my thesis in 8 weeks. #but I have no problem writing 30 pages of insane shit about this stupid fictional guy that I wanna make out with or whatever. in two days. #yeah I'm. a serious adult doing serious things etc. #man if only I could control this. I'd be so fucking powerful. like just. have a crush on sustainability reporting next time dude. #hyperfixate on that shit instead. get obsessed with literally anything but some stupid idiot man's stupid idiot face (and body. ← not an #idiot. his body is fine.) #I hope this phase (the writing that shit down thing) is over soon. because how do you care about anything else when you could instead spend #hours doing that? I don't understand. so. pleeeeaaase lose interest in that soon I'm begging you. 😔 #personal

[storybook-souls]

the thing is. the thing is. everything on my to do list is either something that i wanted (even if i don’t want it anymore i did want it at some point i chose this) or it’s things that i still want soooo badly or it’s the things that are steps on the way to what i really want or even the mundane chore things are what let me be an independent adult living on my own which is also something that i love and want! all of this is either part of the life i chose or it’s steps on the way to the life i want! but i’m so tired....

#*clenching fists until they bleed* i chose this i want this i chose this i want this-- #i want it in the ABSTRACT i want it in the big picture of COURSE i do of COURSE i care #but why doesn't caring make it EASY.... #why doesn't Wanting in the big picture make me also want the hard parts.... #i don't WANT to open my google doc and work on my novel i want to go to bed.... #but it's one thing to bitch about your lot in life when it's something you Have to do through circumstances outside your control #or something that you have to do to survive #it's something else when it's literally just all your own agency...i WANTED this why is it HARD.... #personal

[renthony]

I am begging people to use LibreOffice and personal storage devices like hard drives or USB sticks instead of relying 100% on Google Docs. LibreOffice is free and open-source, it saves files to your own computer, and it lets you save as many different file types. You can write in it, format ebooks in it, and do everything you might possibly need to do as a writer.

"Oh, but I'll lose my USB stick--" Fine, back things up in whatever cloud you use as a form of extra protection, but you should also try your absolute damnedest to also put them on some form of storage that isn't a cloud.

I know it's not accessible to everyone, but if you at all have the ability, don't rely on shit that lives on other people's computers. Especially with everything going on with AI theft and aggressive censorship of adult media. If you don't store your files on your own personal computer that you have control over, your files aren't fully yours, and they're at the whims of whoever owns the cloud.

Learn where your files are stored and how to access them. Get into the habit of backing up your files to your own personal storage. Even if you're not up for intense tech research and you don't care about how the computer actually works, please stop letting your art live in corporate clouds.

#every time I see another writer post that they only use Google Docs #part of me dies inside #original post

[bluastro-yellow]

sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, how the hell do people learn things on their own??? I've bern trying to understand how Internet and the World Wide Web work but there's so much stuff and at every step more stuff pops out. ACK!

#mdn web docs ILY but I'm slow and forgetful </3 #just understanding how DNS works is hard for me lol #what's a server port why don't I know what a server port does #and like how is it physically connected. I know there's optic/copper wires under the sea but how do those reach my puter and the server #just through routers? where are they? do only private companies own them? #I know I can google all of this it's the sheer quantity of information that's too much to take #it's too much and it takes me time to understand it #pointless microblogging #how does my computer know what dns server to contact? who controls them? #and there are servers for every top level domain like .com .org right? but what do they store just a list of websites with that tld right #I should sleep it's late

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Checking In

Good day my fellow exhausted creatives, it sure does be A Time we're going through. There is certainly a lot of things happening at once, and like many of you I'm struggling to stay afloat while desperately playing catch-up. I'll be honest, shit's pretty damn fucked up. Sometimes it helps to take a step back and reflect on some reminders.

Don't panic.

People are facing a lot of hard choices when it comes to what platforms to use, and I know it's pretty tempting to burn everything down. Take a deep breath and think about your options. Nightshade and Glaze aren't perfect, true, but they're open about their limitations and are still tools you can use. Look into alternative word processors beyond Google Docs that won't have AI-scraping. Take your time deciding what to do with your creative output and where to share it. I am Old, and I have seen several social media websites crash and burn. You will always have more options.

Take care of yourself first.

I've seen a lot of people burning themselves out hard over things they can't control. Gaza, anti-LGBTQ issues, American politics, it's a whole lot and it's all overwhelming. You cannot accomplish anything if you don't take the time to put your oxygen mask first. Eat, sleep, turn your phone off when you feel yourself being sucked in. This seems obvious, but it's often the hardest thing to do, believe me I know. You gotta keep yourself going before you can help others.

Small things still matter.

There's a lot of things you can still do even when you feel like you can't. You can sign petitions, you can promote the activism of others. Vote in local elections. Keep yourself informed without drowning - check your news sources once a day rather than all the time. Talk to your friends, spend time with your pets, find ways to help in your local community (a great place to find resources is your library!). Go for a walk with a trash picking tool and a garbage bag. A small difference is still a difference.

Recharge Creatively.

It can be hard to do creative things when you feel like there's so many other important things to do. But being creative - creating art, writing a story, doing a hobby - IS important to yourself and others. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do so - I have to put "watch a movie" on my to do list, or I'll never make time for it. Go to a coffee shop and make art. Play that new video game. Write that silly coffee shop AU. These things are important to you, and they will carry through with what you want to do for others.

Do what you can when you can and you will make it through.

#gentle suggestions for trying times

[everlastlady]

Vampire Miguel HCS

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✰- Author's Note: Hello! My little spiders welcome back to another Miguel story. I decided to write some Miguel content before I rest up. I'm writing this from inside the Tumblr app. Since I usually write on google doc from my phone or laptop. Which I think/believe that Tumblr should add a word count for the app, I think it will really help writers. Anyway this is vampire Miguel hcs with a female reader, don't worry I'll make a separate one soon for male readers because I really need to also cater to my male followers if y'all want I could also make one for my non binary followers as well. So for now remember to eat a meal or snack, drink some water, get fresh air, take your medicine and vitamins, and especially remember that you are loved. If you enjoyed these hcs then please consider commenting, tapping or clicking on the heart, reblogging with tags, or blaze this post if you can. Remember to always support your local writers! ♡♡♡♡♡

✰- Story Contains Blood, Biting, Fem reader, Violence, Fluff, Smut so minors dni, stalking ,Protective Miguel, & author giggling like a bitch over smut.

✰- Posted: Sunday, October 8th 2023 at 1:21 a.m

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Vampire Miguel who has been watching you for a while. Ever since he stopped that guy from robbing you in that alley when you were coming home from working. Miguel couldn't get you out of his mind especially the scent of your blood from when the man had cut you when you refused to hand over your bag and fought with him. Good thing Miguel showed up to save you. But the scent of your blood was so strong that he had to control himself and hurry up and leave. He let you call the police, you were happy the mask man saved you but was confused at his behavior.

Vampire Miguel who continues to watch. He found out that you live in the same apartment building that isn't to far from his. He likes how well you keep your house clean. But hates how rude your neighbors are, he wishes he could get rid of them so that you sleep better at night. He thinks that you look adorable when you are asleep at night. Still having to himself back from opening your window and crawling on top of you to stick his fangs into your neck, he wanted to know what sweet sounds you would make. Thinking about this so much, he goes home and strokes his cock to the image of you underneath him as he's pounding into you while his fangs are buried into your neck like his cock would be in your sweetness.

Vampire Miguel who finally gathers up the courage to talk with you. So he pretends to introduce himself at the coffee shop you go to before work. The two of you talk and get to know each other, exchanging phone numbers, and waving goodbye. He did it! Now he has to act cool because he has scored a date with you. At his place he makes you dinner and can't wait for you to come. He thinks you look beautiful in the dress you were wearing, your hair, make-up, and jewelry looked beautiful. Miguel's dinner looked and smelled great. The two of you ate, drank, and dance.

Vampire Miguel who goes on more dates with you and eventually becomes your boyfriend. You find it stranges how he always sleeps during the day but is active as a cat at night. He seems to always be gone at night. Sometimes he won't talk when he sees you and it worries you. Also he smells metallic. He eventually tells you that he's a vampire and is spiderman, now he's scared that you'll run out screaming and tell someone. But you don't you still love him and stay by his side. Though you wished he told you earlier but you understand he was scared.

Vampire Miguel who loves to stuff you with his fingers as you unravel underneath him. When he's pumping his fingers in and out of you trying to prepare you for his length. He absolutely loves to praise you, calling you his good girl or sweet little thing. And when you are finally ready he slides himself into your pussy pushing his hips into yours while feeling how you squeeze around his cock. You feel so damn good. You could hear him grunt and see how his fangs scrap across his lips, as he's thrusting. He bites your neck, breasts, ass, thighs, and stomach. He wants people to know that you are his.

Vampire Miguel who has beat people to a bloody plump for messing with you that sometimes you have to grab onto him and yell for him to stop. His red rage filled eyes would stare at you before fading back to those beautiful brown chocolate orbs. He would apologize and pick you up, leaving quickly. You would patch up Miguel and remind him that he needs to work on keeping control so he makes a promise to keep his anger in check for the both of you.

Vampire Miguel who shits on other vampire movies and shows calling them dramatic, misinformed, or stupid. Though he's very fond of the movie Dark Shadows the old version and Tim Burton's version. He also questions your taste in vampire stories whether it's books you read online or books you buy.

Vampire Miguel who when he bites you for a quick snack especially when he's seriously injured and needs blood. Is gentle, even though he didn't want to bite you at first but you reassured him that it's fine. He's gentle when he bites you and never takes too much from you. But will make sure you get you some water and snack to eat after he drinks from you.

Vampire Miguel thinks about turning you into a vampire but it's your choice to make. Miguel will love you no matter what if you grow older and older he will still be by your side especially when you become an old lady he will still protect and love you, no one will mess with you at bingo night or when you are knitting away in your cozy chair. When you die he will visit your grave everyday and leave a rose there on your birthday or your guys anniversary.

Vampire Miguel that If you do choose to become a vampire, Miguel has a lot to teach you and is glad to have someone by his side. He brings home a lot of donated blood, but sometimes you aren't afraid to get your hands dirty and help him fight crime. Miguel thinks it's hot whenever you have blood on your mouth that it leads to a steamy make out session on the floor and then leads to sex on the floor. Thanks to the abilities from you both now, y'all be fucking on the ceiling but it's not like he wasn't pounding into you on the ceiling when you were human.

Vampire Miguel who thinks it's cute whenever you dress up as vampire for Halloween and get those fake fangs. He will also dress up like a vampire to match with you at parties. All your friends and people at the party tell him that the blood on him and his fangs on him look so real. Miguel chuckled as your just let out a nervous laugh hoping no one gains the third eye or a new brain cell.

Vampire Miguel who tells you that garlic doesn't really kill vampires that it just makes them sick but to the point they die. So when Miguel accidentally ate a dish that had garlic in it. You took care of him but he did say that silver makes vampires break so you replaced your silverware with fake silverware. Miguel was in a awe he saw how much you listened to him about vampires and sacrificed a lot to keep him safe so he did the same by keeping his hunger in check, anger in check, and keeping you away from greedy and corrupted vampires that could hurt you or his enemies from whenever he's being spiderman.

Vampire Miguel who will love you until the end of time whether you choose to stay human or become a vampire like him. Because no matter what you choose Miguel will love you for a thousand years and thousand more.

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📖Taglist/Miguel's Simps: @sukioyakio @quechulitaaa @miguelcvmslvt @homewreckingwreck @tayleighuh @lauraolar14

『 Let me know if you wanna be added or removed from the tag list! 』

#miguel fanfic #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #miguel o hara #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel atsv #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel ohara smut #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel smut #miguel spiderverse #miguel x you #miguel x fem!reader #everlasting writes🪻 #vampire #vampires #vampire miguel o’hara

[elementroar]

This is the "Why ABA and Paracelsus can feel horny" lore/theory post

The main Paracelsus deepdive post is a monster that I'm building in Google docs cos Tumblr can't handle it while it's WIP. This is a separate lore/theory monster I want to get out of my system first.

Here's my theory why ABA is consistently portrayed as being horny for Paracelsus from the start.

Translated excerpt from the Night of Knives Vol.2 audio drama CD, released in 2004 (20 IRL years ago):

Her being horny wasn't so much portrayed in-game in XX/AC+R really, prolly engine/sprite limitations and all; but then STRIVE happens and we get:

It's not just her being horny, and knowing exactly how to rizz Paracelsus up, and clearly has been doing this in her pocket dimension for a while now. PARACELSUS CAN FEEL HORNY NOW TOO!

And I stg I'm not joking...I think there's a legit lore reason for this.

Cos by the end of her arcade mode's flawless ending and according to the latest interviews with Daisuke-san and the game directors, it's explained that Paracelsus' form depends on what ABA thinks of Paracelsus, as well as her general mental stability.

ABA thought Paracelsus looked like a key, and he morphed into a key as part of his nature, which naturally makes him always fit to his wielder's preferences. In my deepdive I'll explain in more detail, but in addition to that, Slayer figured out that since ABA also saw Para as her hopeful "key to the future", Para's heart also began to change to basically fit her ideal of what he is.

So if ABA finds Paracelsus sexually attractive, and has made very obvious physical advances on him for years, then it follows that if she's horny for him, she can make Paras horny for her over time too, just like how Para is getting more key-like subconsciously just by being with her all this time.

I don't think this is entirely involuntary on Paracelsus end. I believe how much he wants to react to his wielder's emotions is still in his control...unless they become truly insane like with ABA's Jealous Rage being emotionally powerful enough to override Paras' ability to maintain his key form.

Also he reverts to his 'sharp teeth' design when he gets rizzed up, so he's losing his composure again and prolly holding back most of his...response. It's actually kinda telling cos Para used to just disassociate, ignore, scold ABA when she tries to make advances on him, so him actually responding now and to this degree is...interesting. And ABA seems very aware of this.

And for the bigger question of why ABA, an artificially created human would be created with the ability to feel horny...

Ok, crack theory time, it might be linked to why she apparently can summon an actual alchemical gate just whenever she wants, and even use it as her private pad. ABA doesn't just wanna rizz Paracelsus up as a key, she wants him in a human body since the start too.

Y'all remember Ghostbusters, and what the Gatekeeper and the Keymaster have to do to open the gate...?

#guilty gear strive #paracelsus guilty gear #my theory #I needed a quick diversion #my post #long post #surprise ghostbusters #nothing really alchemy related but the whole Gatekeeper and Keymaster 'joining' thing is just...right...there #a.b.a guilty gear #aba guilty gear #half-crack theory

[scarrletmoon]

About Powder Blue

This is going to be long. There are going to be discussions of suicide and trauma. This is going to be a bit of a jumbled mess because I can't tell a linear story to save my life. Don't feel like you need to read this, now or ever.

If you're wondering what the issues with PB were, and looking for what's next, read the indented text and skip the rest if you want!

I've had a bit of a...tumultuous relationship with the OFMD fandom. I've made close friends and lost them, made even closer friends who've very patiently reminded me of my worth when I needed that. I'm at a point where I'm still struggling, but I'm getting better. I'm still working on not being afraid. It's a bit of an uphill battle, but I'm still pushing my little boulder. I'm not alone this time, which is nice.

I entered the fandom as a nobody. I had almost 50 fics on AO3 and two had mildly popped off while I wasn't looking, but I wasn't really known for anything. I was a fandom ghost, posting my little fanfics and sharing them with the world because I just enjoyed the characters so much. Like a lot of people, I dreamed of being known for something. I thought that'd be neat.

I'm still in a state of shock and confusion that I've written anything in the past 2 years that people remember and even love. It's weird to be in a place where I never imagined myself to be. I can't stress enough how much I did not write explicit fic before this fandom; in high school, I would've welcomed a porn ban. I was afraid of my own sexuality, convinced it was some sort of monster I had to control. Convinced I was dirty. To other people my age, I was a prude, naive and childish for not being comfortable with it. So I feel for people who lash out now, who insist that attraction is actually fetishization, that if we set enough rules, maybe if we resist temptation, we'll be saved. I see you, and I feel for you. I personally don't think that's a healthy way to live, but if you'd told me that 2 years ago, I would've cussed you out. It's really a realization you have to come to (or not) on your own terms.

Anyway.

I know it's tacky to talk about your own success but it doesn't feel real. I go back and forth, reading other people's work -- and my god, there's some unbelievable talent in this fandom -- and thinking "shit, why would anyone read anything I've written? My stories are kindergarten finger paintings next to museum masterpieces". I am learning, slowly -- very slowly -- that I can't bully myself into a shape I like better. I'll never abuse myself into the kind of writer I think I want to be.

The first chapter of Powder Blue was written on a random day of the week after work. I was in a server -- the first fandom server I'd properly joined and talked in, watching a convo about how funnyt it would be for Ed to be a middle aged sugar baby -- when I pulled out my laptop and wrote for an hour and then posted that chapter to the server. I hadn't written for five years before OFMD. I had never finished a multi chapter fic. I posted that chapter and went to make dinner, and assumed the Google Docs link would get lost in that channel after a few likes.

That's not what happened.

The next few months were...a lot. My 7 year old Twitter account blew up from about 200 followers to 1000 in a matter of months. I was misinterpreted half a dozen times. Suddenly, people knew who I was and had Opinions. Some of those Opinions were Not Nice. I was told to grow a thick skin and get over it. So I figured my extreme reactions -- physical shaking, intense fear, a spiking heart rate, like I was being chased -- were just me being weak. I thought if I just sucked it up and laughed it off, it'd stop affecting me.

Turns out RSD is real and not an excuse I was using to be a baby, and it literally didn't get better until I was medicated! Wild

(This -- "I'm just overreacting and everyone else is secretly handling it better" -- has been a pretty consistent pattern my entire life, so figuring out I'm actually AuDHD has been mindblowing. If you've been wondering why you're so weak your whole life, I've got some screening tests you might be interested in).

Anyway my point is, a few things happened over the course of 2023 that brought me to a level of emotional pain I've never experienced.

At the start of the year, I was taking a self imposed internet break, after being forced to apologize for a tweet thread about Izzy, where I'd made the mistake of suggesting that fans of his should consider thinking about why they enjoy his character, but to only do this if they wanted to and ignore me if they didn't. This was taken as me being a hypocrite, and accusing Izzy fans of being terrible people. I apologized, vowed to never mention him again, and left Twitter for a month. Around the same time, a few things in a very close friend group went very wrong. I assumed it was entirely my fault for misbehaving, picked myself up, and tried to punish myself into a shape that would be acceptable for other people.

It didn't work.

Since I was now marked as an anti-Izzy bully, I couldn't say anything -- either on Twitter or in private -- that wouldn't be interpreted as me trying to start fights, as me being passive aggressive, as me trying to send covert messages for others to decipher so they could come and grovel for my forgiveness. Some of this is my fault -- it took a long time to learn than my private locked Twitter account isn't a diary. it took even longer for me to learn that maybe the people I was hanging out with weren't my people.

During all of this, I was posting Powder Blue after months of tears, pain, heartbreak, frustration and stress. I still don't understand why people write books for work or FUN. It was the most horrific experience of my life. It was valuable and so rewarding but jesus christ did writing PB take a lot out of me.

So as I felt less connected to my friends, as I was trying to hide how I felt because I thought I didn't deserve to be upset about anything (everything is always my fault, you see, and if I just behaved better, these things wouldn't happen to me), someone came to me and said they'd noticed some issues with Powder Blue. I'll refer to this person as the reader.

I was more than happy to hear them out. And it's true that I made some mistakes. The environment that I published PB in was not the one that I wrote it in. I didn't read any other sugar daddy/sex work fics as I was working on PB. PB was never a reaction to those fics. But because of those stories, which had handled things is harmful ways, there was suddenly a responsibility I'd never expected to have. I've never done sex work, I've just spent a lot of time listening to sex workers and trying to understand the legislation and environment as much as I can as a lay person. And since I don't have a personal experience with sex work, I shared my finished but rough draft with the reader, who did.

The problem, ultimately, is not something I could ever have fixed to their satisfaction. The fic doesn't involve dubious consent on a level that I think warrants an archive warning tag -- I tried to make it explicitly clear that Ed never does anything he doesn't want to, and that he's never coerced. The issue is that the nature of Ed and Stede's relationship is inherently uneven -- Stede is rich, and although he gives Ed money that's his to keep, Ed still isn't as obscenely wealthy as Stede is. Ed is poor and has been for a while. He's good at whatever he chooses to do, but he's struggling. That's a very uncomfortable spot to put Ed in. I also put Ed through some things that I've personally been through, as a way to work through my feelings and to try and better understand myself. If I was acting like Ed in real life, the reader is right that it would be concerning. But, importantly, Ed's not real. Nothing in this story is happening to a real person. Nothing in this story is an endorsement of any of his behaviours or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I still believe the reader had good intentions -- the amount of effort they put into coming to me would be utterly bizarre for someone who was just looking to be cruel for no reason. But that also doesn't change the fact that being told I was having a trauma response and needed to stop working on the fic immediately, pushed me into the most suicidal period I've ever experienced.

That's not their fault. I'm sure that wasn't their intention. I've chosen to not try and find out who they are, or try to contact them again to respect their privacy. Some of the things people said to me, publicly dismissing the reader's pain, were so harrowing to read that it made me feel worse for ever writing PB in the first place. They were right to stay anonymous.

I'm sure the reader never meant for me to have such a massive breakdown that I took down the entire fic and left Twitter (and a few friend groups). It's been difficult to understand that just because someone didn't mean to hurt me, doesn't change the fact that I was hurt.

One silver lining is that I did go and find a new therapist. She's great! And she also thinks that how the reader tried to bring things up to me was wrong. As the reader obviously saw, I have a lot of Trauma, so I'm still not entirely convinced that I didn't deserve what happened to me. I'm not angry at them. I appreciate their concern. I just can't do what they asked of me. In the end, Powder Blue was not a story that was right for them. And that's okay.

My point in detailing all of this, is that I stayed quiet for a long time because I didn't think I deserved to tell my part of the story. I was scared that when people said they respected my choice to take down the fic, that they agreed I'd some something impossibly harmful. People trusted my judgement but I didn't trust myself. But people didn't know that I didn't trust myself.

Additionally, reader can't speak on this without revealing themself in some way. I'm terrified that they might read this and say something anyway. My biggest fear is becoming the kind of writer who sees negative criticism and pushes on anyway, or even blocks people who disagree with me. I don't want to hurt anyone the way I've been hurt.

BUT I've been holding onto this for months. I cannot write a perfect fic that will never trigger anyone. I will never write a meaningful story that won't hurt someone, no matter my intentions. There IS a way to admit you fucked up, or a way to listen and disagree, without turning into a raging asshole. I'm struggling to find that line. I'm hoping I'm making the right choice here.

And honestly, I'm just soft. I am so fucking soft. I talk a big game but I am so soft that a single person poking at my trauma caused me to break down so severely that my partner was legitimately afraid for me. I am learning that this softness doesn't mean I should become a crueler person to cope. But it's hard. There are going to be people who see this post and think I'm being a whiny crybaby looking for attention and pity. And I just have to deal with that.

Anyway. All previous chapters of PB will be up soon. Read them or don't. I will do my best to add more detailed trigger warnings. And I would personally suggest that if you're worried about any of the content in the fic, to run these worries past a friend who's read the fic, because they'll know you better than I ever will. Please don't read Powder Blue if you think it'll harm you. I would rather have fewer readers than triggered ones.

If there's anything I've missed that you think I need to address, know that my inbox is open, that anon is on, and that I'm not in the business of retaliating against people who come to me with an issue, even if they're a dick to me while they're doing it. I'm not going to dismiss someone because they weren't nice to me while they were upset. I'm a bitch but I'm not that kind of bitch.

So. Thank you for waiting for this fic. Thank you for waiting for me. We've got something like 16 chapters to go, and I can't tell you when they'll be up, or if they'll be up soon. But thank you for loving this story. I can't tell you how much that means to me, especially now.

Love,

Scarr

#scarrlet rambles #powder blue #about powder blue #this is also just a really long about me

[bamsara]

Alright! With the DDOS attacks on AO3, I got most of my fics still on my laptop together on google docs just in case. If you'd like to read them, please consider using these or downloading the fics from here instead of refreshing AO3 until they get everything under control!

Note: Some of these fics are from the DRAFT versions I had on my laptop, and may contain different scenes before revisions and/or spelling and grammatical errors.

FNAF:

Solar Lunacy. (Wordcount: 225k. Completely uploaded current chapters. Indexed)

3 Days, 3 Nights, 1 Eclipse (One-shot. Wordcount 6.1K)

Wireless Behavior (One-shot. Wordcount: 6.3K)

Simply, A Head Cold (One-shot. Wordcount 7.5k)

Bytes of Lunacy (Working on adding)

Saturday Insomnia (Working on adding)

Invader Zim:

Cryptids, Emotions, And The Possible End of the World. (The Entire Series. Over 200k words.) (Indexed finished.)

In Which Shenanigans Happen. (Complete Drabble Prompt Series. Wordcount: 13.7K)

Blook Pak (Working on adding)

A Moment (Two-shot. Wordcount: 16.1k)

Fight Me! (Working on adding)

Don't Starve

(Currently working on adding these fics)

Experimentation, Embers, and Everything Else

Nightly Shenanigans

Ghosts Are Real and So Is Hope

Matchsticks and Scalpels

Strike a Match, and Sparks Fly

You Are Not Ophelia

Burned For You

21 Drabble Prompts

Jealousy

I will periodically reblog this page as I update and index everything.

#writings #ill index SL tonight and add this page to my fanfic index page on tumblr so its an alternative to ao3

[simp4nott]

⤹𓍢ִ໋ THE ROOMATES

Summary: You and Ellie didn't exactly get along, yeah you hung around each other but it was only for your friends sake. One of you always found a way to annoy one another until you both were pissed at one another. So when it came to the apartments in Jackson, Maria had full control of roommates. So when you and Ellie find out who you’ve been paired with... let's say neither of you are excited.

pairing: Ellie Williams x f!reader

Word count: 414!

Warnings: (no warning for the sneak peek but here are the warnings that will be in the fic) Smut!, kissing (obviously), Strap on sex (r receiving), dirty talk, hot lesbian sex, and fingering (r receiving).

A/N: if you see this and are like 'I've seen something exactly like this' is because you properly have, because I deleted it after posting it because I didn't know how to write the rest , BUT I have been rewriting it (kinda) and finally figured out how I'm gonna finish this fic.

Maria had been assigning roommates since they had cleared the apartment building.

The one thing Maria didn't tell her or anyone, is who they'd be roommates with. She had only given the number of the apartment they'd be staying at.

So when Ellie found her apartment and unlocked it, expecting it to be a bit louder in her shared space, she was surprised to find it quiet, which could only mean her roommate wasn't here yet.

The apartment was nice, had a cozy little living room, great kitchen & nice bathroom even after going through an outbreak and years of infected and raiders.

Elie had finally made it to the area where she assumed the bedrooms were, and since she was the first one there, she went to see which room was bigger.

So it was a surprise to Ellie when she opened the first door to find you laying on your pink zebra striped bedding, white stringed headphones in your ear as you watch something on your phone.

"Great, you're the one Maria put me with." she scoffed, obviously annoyed that she'd have to share a living space with you.

"God, don't act so disappointed, you know deep down you were hoping for this." you said, taking the headphones out of your ears, and a smile on your face.

"Oh, you fucking wish." she spoke, rolling her eyes and walking to the door across from yours, leaving your door open to irritate you.

"In your dreams babe!" Ellie heard you yell from across the hall.

And the way Ellie's eyes went wide, she couldn't think fast enough to say something back.

"Cat got your tongue Williams? " You spoke resting against the door frame, arms crossed and smirk on your face.

"You're such a pain in the ass." Ellie said, her back to you as she started to unpack desk supplies onto her desk.

You found yourself wandering into her room, finding a box on the floor near the closet door.

"Damn Williams, that all you got, you goin easy on me?" you said bending down to go through the box on the ground.

“What are you doing?” she asked, turning to stand behind you to see what the fuck you where doing. 

She tries to pretend not to see your hot pink thong peeking out of your jeans calling her name and luring her into a trap.

 Once Ellie saw that you were going through her stuff, she put an end to that very fucking quickly.

Moving from behind you to the side of you to snatch the box away from you.

"Can you fuck completely off."she snapped at you; aggravated for too many damn reasons, her body and mind betraying her, and you almost finding something very important to her lifestyle . 

Ellie was ready to take a long nap and completely forget who she was living with. 

“God, you’re no fun williams.” you roll your eyes before you sway your hips out of her room.

Ellie watched you leave the doorway of her bedroom.

                   God, what the fuck is happening??

A/n: As I'm posting this right now, I'm actively switching tabs between google docs and Tumblr.

I'm thinking that this fic will be posted either this upcoming Friday or that weekend , and this time I WON'T delete this and also not post the fic .

feedback would be appreciated, I did not proofread because I'm running on cherry Coke Zero and few hours asleep + school.

#lesbian #wlw post #ellie williams x reader #tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie the last of us #the last of us #simp4nott

[faeriemarie]

introducing my lifa app!!

so if you don't know what the lifa app is... here is my extremely confusing explanation. if you can't understand it, i don't blame you

the basics of my app:

The app is for pc, phone, ipad, and other electronic devices (or on paper in drs without smartphones)

It will automatically appear and it can not be deleted. I know everything there is to know about Lifa and I control the app with absolute ease.

If someone were to go on a device where the Lifa app is on, they wouldn’t be able to see it or tap on it at all. Only I can see it or use it and it is 100% real and 100% effective

The lifa app doesn’t take up ANY storage

Lifa knows exactly what I mean because it is connected to my subconscious mind. It knows what I mean exactly, and all intrusive thoughts are ignored

The lifa app doesn’t need wifi

I can do ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING with Lifa, no restrictions, and nobody ever suspects that I’m using it

Nothing I search or watch on my lifa app is traceable by anyone but me (not even cell or wifi companies)

There are ZERO CONSEQUENCES to using Lifa and what decisions I make. Nothing goes wrong, everything happens how I expect it to, excluding the intrusive thoughts which are always ignored

No one is ever suspicious of the things I manifest and it’s like I’ve always had them (clothes, food, talents, etc. has always been there)

okay now for the features!!

lifa closet

Any item of clothing I choose from the catalog, script, or import a picture of will be sent to my closet, suitcase, or wherever I want

reality shifting

I can set a time and pick a reality to shift to. I will then shift during that exact time

reality check

I can check which reality I am in with the click of a button

scripter

I can script and write anything. Inserted images are HD, and PNG images remain transparent. I can insert infinite images and change the font’s color and style itself (same features as notes/notion/google docs but neater)

desired scenario

I can specifically script to describe my desired scenario. I can set the time and date to when the scenario happens. The scenario is exactly like how I want and even 1 trillion times better

manifestor

I can insert a picture or describe what I want to manifest. I can also manifest people by typing their name and Lifa will automatically recognize who they are. I can set the time and date to when you want that thing to manifest, and it will happen 100%.

skill increaser

Choose any skill I desire to have (I can also insert it by typing “cooking”). I can choose to master any skill and it will show up immediately. I can search any skill and increase on a scale of 1-100% mastery

motherlode (sims reference lol)

I can deliver/spawn money of any currency in my chosen form. (gift cards, bank acc, cash, etc.) I can choose from coins to bills. There is no limit amount of money or times to deliver it. I can deliver it how much and how many times I want. The money is 100% legal and valid, and passes all money detectors. The money has valid and legal coding, as if it had been made in factories. It still remains perfectly legal. I can choose to spawn the money in my purse, bottom of backpack, pockets, amazon, wallet, etc. The money spawns in 5 seconds. I can deliver/spawn as much money as I desire, there is no limit (even 50 million is 100% possible). There is 0% risk of money inflation

lifa credit card

The Lifa credit card has an infinite amount of money and can never go in debt. There is an infinite amount of money in all international currencies. The card is universal and 100% valid and legal. It can be used in any ATM and online store/game (could be recognized as any official credit card like eg. visa or ae). The money has no money or usage limit, and it can be used for anything, anytime. In ATM machines it appears that the card only has 1000€/$, but in the Lifa app it will be ∞ €/$. If the card gets lost, it will automatically disappear. The same happens if the card breaks, and Lifa will spawn a new card with the same exact info.  It will come inside a little gift box (that matches the app’s color scheme I desire) wherever I want. The card’s number and code (and other infos) are up to me or the universe but it's always 100% valid. The card lasts forever. There is 0% risk of money inflation

lifa bank account

The bank account feature is connected to the credit card feature. It’s almost like a normal bank acc. I can see all mytransactions. The amount of money never changes because it stays 100% infinite. I can change my money’s currency. I can also take money out of the card in my desired currency. I can customize the card’s design and I can spawn more cards. I can easily create more bank accounts too, they will all have infinite money. There is 0% risk of money inflation

lifa paypal/venmo/cashapp/etc.

It is 100% legal anywhere. It is exactly like the real paypal, but my Lifa bank account/card is registered. I can use it in all purchases that require paypal. I can login on the real paypal website with the Lifa paypal acc. When I first use the app I get to create a Lifa paypal account. The balance shows 1000€ / $ / £ but the money amount is infinite. There is 0% risk of money inflation

food delivery

If I insert a picture of a food item or search the catalog, Lifa will recognize. When I confirm, it will be sent to my ideal location. (i can pick the location). The food will be 100% fresh and new

boredom cure

Instantly provides me with inspiration to do something that is productive and beneficial to my overall well-being

create-a-person

I can design a person’s hair, body, face, etc., script their personality and choose their traits. It is set up like scripting and has different templates I can use. I can change skin tone, skin type, undertone, hair color, hair texture, eye color, etc. I can insert any pictures and they’ll be exactly how I want. When I insert a script of the person’s personality and behaviour, Lifa will recognize it. I can also script traits and the person’s backstory. I have to fill in each’s birth info (name, age, birthday, sign, blood type, etc) to my desire.  I can also choose the relationship between the people when I’m done creating them. Then I confirm and once I shift to my dr it will all be exactly like how I wanted and even 1 trillion times better. If I’m feeling lazy, I can select to let the universe fill in the gaps, and the universe will fill them like I wanted and even better

lifa messenger

I can text with anyone in the universe that I want. It feels completely real and all conversations are remembered. It’s like having online bestie because the people I text always get along with me, always respond, and actually care about me. We can also call and video chat. I am not actually communicating with someone from my reality and instead with the universe since everyone is part of the universe. It works exactly how I want it to

natal chart

I can select which life/reality’s natal chart I want to see. Lifa offers a personalized detailed description of my chart and personality. The chart is 100% accurate. I can also select to look at anyone’s natal chart. Lifa will show a list of everyone I know. It is divided in 5 categories (friends, family, acquaintances, classmates/coworkers, celebrities). The natal chart can also show compatibility

grade changer

Automatically makes me have good grades and changed all my past grades to A. My wrong test answers morph into correct test answers

ask-me-anything

I can ask anything and get the complete and 100% right answer. The questions can vary from asking where my lost tennis shoes are to what’s the answer to number 4 on my math homework. There is no limit to what can be asked and the answer given is always exactly what I need

feature adder

I can visualize and script more features and add them to Lifa with the feature adder. Lifa will add these features in 1 second and they will be 100% effective. Lifa also knows exactly what I mean, even if I script something wrong, so there are no surprises

lifaflix

A streaming site where I can watch shows that only exist in my dr (most of the time used for fame drs so i can see all the great acting projects i have been a part of). I can also watch my drs like tv shows.

lifatube

A video site set up like YouTube where I can watch anything from my dr. Things like fan edits, compilations of dr moments, my dr tiktoks, youtube videos made by my dr self and more. I can also watch memories/anything that happens from either a 3rd person point of view or 1st person

lifa socials

My lifa app has social media accounts from all my different realities that i can flip through, post from, dm with people from those realities, and go live (i can post anything i want on these social media sites and i’m immune to anything bad happening like leaking nudes, screenshots, hacking, or any other cybercrimes/bad things). My wr self even has their own account

#reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting #subliminals #desired reality #manifesting #manifestation #reality shift #shifting realities #shifting community #my scripts ♫ #shifter #shift #shifters #scripting #shifting script #desired life #lifa app

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!human!reader/female!dreamwalker!reader

Chapter 7

CW: a good amount of angst, reader finally is letting neteyam in and realizing how she does truly love him too, physical contact, neteyam suffering while holding back from mating w/ reader, mentions of sex, yearning, sexual language, reader and neteyam acting like a cute couple, playful flirting, reader is more vulnerable with neteyam, a lot of fluff, reader feels guilty about the way she's been treating neteyam. Tell me if I'm missing something important!

Sorry for taking long to update, my angels 🥺🤍 unfortunately I'm going through a tough path in my personal life rn and bc of that I fell on a horrible depressive episode that I'm still on. So, my motivation to do stuff is very low at the moment and as I have to deal with my adult responsibilities that I can't run from bc nobody can, rn the best I'm able to do is focus the tiny bit of energy I have onto getting them done. I won't be able to update my fanfics as fast as I used to for some time. Can't say how long, it's not under my control currently, sorry :( But I LOVE writing, it's a great escape for me, from life problems and stuff, so, I really do not plan on stop writing fanfiction. I promise! Don't worry too much. Some of the upcoming chapters of this fanfiction, for example, are already saved on my Google Docs. I'll take longer but I won't stop updating. Anyway, I'm a tiny bit (ok maybe much more than that lol) insecure about this chapter but I hope y'all like it. Seeing your comments about the fic would make me incredibly happy. I'm needing some serotonin right now 🥲 Thanks for reading my writings ♡

Not proofread. Sorry if some parts are a bit messed up. I'll proofread it as soon as I can <3

Chapter 6

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowin' my pride

Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night

(...)

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you

Back to December (Taylor Swift)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You inclined yourself slowly and sheepishly in Neteyam's direction, still feeling guilty for the way you had been treating him before. Neteyam sensed your self doubt and quickly swept you off your feet, taking you inside his arms, so he could finally get the hug he had been dying for, so he could finally feel your small body against his bigger one. His big hands were now under your thighs, securing you in place against his warm body. That closeness, his touch… it all felt incredibly good. You cursed yourself for pushing him away and postponing that moment. To think you could have felt that before and you didn't… "Stupid girl" you thought.

You were now really far from the ground but you felt safe. Now you knew Neteyam would always protect you. He would not let you fall and get hurt. He was not and had never been a threat to you. There was not and there never was any reason for you to be afraid of him.

"Oeyä yawne…" (my beloved) "You feel so soft and tiny… Eywa… Nga yawne lu oer" (I love you) His voice was choked with emotion as he held back tears of joy while he hugged you as tight as he was able to - without hurting you - and you rested your head upon his shoulder. Your nose was hovering over his neck and you sniffed his skin, smelling his natural, cozy scent. It was intoxicating, drawing you in, making you wanna stay like that forever. 

You breathed in deep and relaxed inside his huge arms that held you for the first time but still strangely felt like home, like you had felt them around you a thousand times already. If you believed in past lives - which you didn't - you'd explain this odd but amazing feeling as you having found your soulmate again, in this current life. There was no fear of Neteyam inside of you anymore. You only yearned for more and more of him, only a burning affection kept your whole being warm, just like his massive body did too.

"There's still something I need to ask of you, if this is gonna work out between us." You said, breaking the hug for a while to look him in the eye

"Say it, yawne."

Neteyam was still so utterly happy that he did not even seem to be shaken by that, which he could have been

"You know why I pushed you away. First of all, finding out an alien double your size has been stalking you is freaking unnerving." You still gazed into his eyes, wanting him to pay attention to your words "Second, you acted like a creep. At least compared to the way human guys act around girls they're interested in. I don't really have any experience dating na'vi boys, you know?" You choked a little as you were trying hard to hold back laughter

"Ouch…" Neteyam playfully pretended to be extremely hurt by your previous statements. He chuckled "In my defense, I'd say my instincts are to blame, not me, exactly." You gave him a death stare, but in a playful manner too "When I saw you, I knew you would be the perfect mate for me and I had to make you mine. Everything about you rubbed me just the right way."

You smiled. He was being silly and so sweet. You just could not resist it.

"By the way, when did you see me for the first time?" 

Neteyam seemed to get shy after that question. You wondered why.

"I fell in love with you while you were in your Avatar body, yawntu. That's when I first saw you." Neteyam looked up at you again, smiling but showing no teeth

"You what?" You questioned him, a bit shocked but you could not bring yourself to be mad at him, though. Imagining him hiding behind trees and up in branches to watch you silently seemed adorable in your eyes, now. 

And yes, you knew it sounded crazy, to find someone who used to literally stalk you adorable, but nobody said that anything that was happening to you right now made any sense. Not even you would try to.

"How did I never notice you were around?" You shook your head in disapproval of your distraction back in the forest.

What if it had been a na'vi who did not trust you a single bit to even let you Dreamwalk freely, without grabbing you by the arm and taking you to the Olo'eyktan and the Tsahìk? Some na'vi hated humans to that point. And, as you always said and always would say, you had a great empathy towards them and could imagine yourself feeling the same way if you were na'vi. You could never bring yourself to judge them as harshly as way too many humans did. You knew they were not the villains of the story. But still, what if that na'vi tried to hurt you? You felt tense at the thought.

Neteyam noticed your uneasiness and tried to calm you.

"Don't worry, yawne. I'm a great warrior. A big part of being a good warrior is being really focused on one's mission and knowing how to get by as unnoticed as possible. So many other humans in their Avatars and even many, many na'vi wouldn't notice me, either."

Neteyam still wanted to call those other humans "demons in false bodies" but he was not going to. He knew it would hurt you and make you feel like he was talking about you too. But he was not. Whenever he had called you "demon", it never meant the same thing as it would mean if he was talking about any other human. But he knew it would be hard for you to understand. So he promised himself that he would never call you "demon" again. After that eclipse night when the both of you were talking in front of your bedroom window, he realized how much it hurt you when he called you that. He hated himself for bringing you pain. And his heart hurt so badly when he thought about the possibility of you pushing him away again. It made him want to hold onto your small, frail body tightly and say "Please, don't leave me! I can't be without you again… Please…"

"If you say so… I still think I should've been more careful, though." You say, still feeling a little nervous and thinking that maybe you had not been the best student when attending to your classes about na'vi behavior and that maybe you didn't pay enough attention to warnings they may have given about being mindful of your surroundings when Dreamwalking 

"I promise it's okay. It was not your fault, yawntu. I'm just good at what I do." His smile clearly showed he was proud of being a good warrior

"Ok, then." You smiled back at him and the both of you laughed a bit.

Suddenly, he stopped smiling and his gaze dropped to your lips, that were not that far from his own lips, if it wasn't for that damn oxygen mask. You felt like he wanted to kiss you. The moment was awkward but in a good way. He could not kiss you with the mask on, so, instead, he smiled at you once again and looked down at the floor, bashful.

You touched his huge, gorgeous face and he looked up at you again "So, about what we were talking about before… Just try to be a little less… upfront about what you feel for me. I mean… sexually. I love that you want me this much because I want you too, Neteyam. A lot, actually. You're… really freaking hot." He smiled, blissful, and his cat-like eyes sparkled as he heard that, his ears perking up. "But you're a bit too much, at times. If you could just tone it down a bit…" Neteyam looked a little ashamed and insecure, so, you rubbed your thumb on his soft skin, to reassure him you still longed for him too "At least while I get used to your na'vi nature, it would be great. Please, try to understand me… It's a whole new world I'm just now discovering. But it doesn't mean I don't love you and don't want you and it doesn't mean you should feel insecure." You smiled gently, showing no teeth. 

Neteyam looked a bit sad again after you finished your sentence and you totally understood why. In his na'vi mind, you were practically rejecting him. That was who he truly was, animalistic and a bit too much to your human standards. He must feel like who he is was not enough or good in your eyes.

"Hey" You cupped his face again "I wanna do something. Just let me take this mask off, first." You wanted to reassure Neteyam of your feelings for him by giving him a kiss.

"Yawne, no! You can't breathe without it. You could die really fast! I'm not gonna let you do it."

"So you don't want a kiss, Neteyam Suli? I thought you'd want it, judging by the way you have been stalking me and by our interaction that night, outside my bedroom's window." You teased him and his face lit up

Neteyam gave you an excited smile. The way his full lips curled up as he quickly pondered about the pros and cons of your offer was so beautiful, almost hypnotizing.

God, you really were in love with that na'vi boy, weren't you? There's no going back now. He's holding your heart in his big, weird but cute, alien hands.

"I guess if we make it quick-"

"Shut up, Neteyam." You interrupted, chuckling playfully "I know you're dying to feel my lips on yours. Just help me take this mask off already." It was a bit hard for you to take the mask off while holding onto his shoulders. You knew he would not let you fall but still you wanted to still feel a bit of control and keep holding onto him too.

Neteyam got surprised by your boldness, since he did not see it coming, and he could only think about how freaking amazing it would feel to finally taste your lips, so, he did as you asked - leaving the mask hanging on your neck by the strap it had - and you rapidly held his big pretty, blue face, brought your lips to his and placed the most tender of kisses there, pressing your mouth against his mouth softly but with so much care, trying to let him feel how much you desired him too. His lips were velvety, warm and so incredibly good to kiss. God, you did not care that you were risking dying from lack of oxygen. You wanted that alien boy so badly.

Neteyam's still tense demeanor soon turned into a calmer one as he kissed you back. His hold on you got tighter as he felt your sweet soft lips on his. He felt so incredibly hungry for you. How could he not be? Your kiss was the most delicious thing he had ever felt in his whole life. You both shared saliva and wet each other's lips with each time your lips parted only slightly and came together again. Your soft skin made him want to squeeze you and never let you go again. Neteyam wanted to cuddle with you, wanted to wrap his tail around your small body in a possessive way to let you know you're his and that he would take care of you, hunt food to feed you and protect you from anything that could ever hurt you.

It was getting harder and harder for him not to lay you on the ground and press his body against your tiny one and make love to you right there but he knew that, thinking rationally, that was not a good idea at all, as the both of you were just outside a laboratory full of humans and you two could easily get caught and be in danger.

Even though Neteyam craved your body insanely, now even more than before, as he was finally feeling you close and tasting your lips, he was trying to take it as slow and gentle as he could because he wanted to respect your limits instead of scaring you away again. He understood you were human and your race acted in a very different way when it came to relationships. He still thought it to be a dumb way to lead things but it was you who was asking him to act differently and he loved you with his whole being. He could not bring himself to say "no" to that request. He knew it would be temporary and you soon would give into the na'vi that lives inside of you when it came to mating too. For you, Neteyam could wait. He knew things would soon change for the better. You were now in his arms, as the two of you kissed. You were no longer afraid of him. That was everything he needed at that moment. Things were already so much better.

Neteyam noticed you were having more and more trouble breathing, so he got worried and quickly put your oxygen mask back on.

You gasped for air and breathed in so much oxygen once you had your mask on that it might have been funny to watch, though Neteyam did not laugh. On the contrary, he seemed way too serious, way too worried about your safety. You wanted him to relax a bit.

"See how much I love you? I risked dying just to give you a kiss." You tried to speak normally but what came out of your mouth was a hoarse whisper instead, as your lungs were still in need of more air. A weak smile was adorning your lips as you struggled but still managed to let out a frail chuckle

"Don't say that, oeyä tawtute, please." Neteyam told you, trying to stay serious but still letting out a chuckle as well

"See the sacrifices I make for you, Neteyam?" You tried to seem mad at him at the beginning, only to start laughing shortly after, now that you finally had enough oxygen in your system to be able to let out an actual laugh, even if it still sounded weaker than your laughing would sound in another situation

He smiled big and teased you "Skxawng." (moron)

"But you love me." You closed your eyes while smiling, full of yourself

"I do." You opened your eyes to look at his face "More than you think, yawntu."

Your heartbeat accelerated intensely and you blushed. Neteyam found your blushed cheeks adorable. He looked at you so intensely, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world in his arms.

Neteyam knew he had just fallen even harder for you now that you both had kissed. He could not wait until he could be alone with you in a safe place and get to explore your body with his hands and kiss you all over. He almost got hard just thinking about that but he tried his hardest to whoosh that away. Neteyam was scared that feeling his bulge would be too much for you at that moment, specially since he knew he was much bigger than the human males you were used to. You might feel uncomfortable because of that difference and the sudden intimate feeling of his hard big cock against you and want to get out of his arms. Neteyam did not want that to happen. He needed you there a bit more, he was not ready to let you stand on your feet yet. And he was so afraid of you not wanting him close anymore, he was so afraid of perhaps ruining what you both had now. It was far too special for him. He could not let his sexual instincts ruin that. The time would come when you would let him in completely, when you would grant him permission to be inside of you and show you how much he craved your pussy, how much you messed with his head and awakened his most intense desires. Until then, he would wait and take baby steps. For you, he was capable of waiting for ages, though he hoped so strongly it would not take long.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

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#neteyam x you #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x reader #neteyam angst #neteyam sully #avatar neteyam #neteyam x female reader #neteyam x na'vi!reader #neteyam sully x human reader #neteyam sully x na’vi!reader #neteyam sully x y/n #neteyam sully x you #neteyam sully x reader #atwow neteyam #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam fluff #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam suli #✎ victória writes ▢✧࿐

[ask-dbd-wh-au]

DBD AU Welcome Home Reference Sheets + Facts

Wally and Y/N are the only two currently trapped in the Entity's realm!

The Neighborhood! Currently Unaware of Wally's whereabouts and is assumed missing/dead, they have no idea about the entity at all nor know who Y/N is.

Fun Facts About DBD (Dead by Daylight) AU Wally:

He was captured by the entity and is one of the many made to kill to feed the entity unwillingly

He obeys the entity in hopes of one day returning home/to his friends

The further the match goes on the more his hair starts to fall down out of his pompadour

Whenever he's seen crying black ink its majority of the time him mourning what he's lost and/or missing his friends/Home

Sometimes when he's alone he mutters to himself either about his friends, echoing convos he used to have w/ them, or is talkin to 'them' despite no one bein there

He hums Beautiful Dreamer to himself, almost like a comfort to distract himself from the reality of things

His hums work a lot like the Huntress

His eyes are always wide open, rarely lidded/relaxed

The entity absorbed itself partially into Wally's body and only bursts out in the back to make the claws to travel

The claws Wally can mostly control, the tendrils/tentacles is entirely the entity and he has absolute no control over them

The claws are entirely inspired by the same ones that covers gens and forms on hooks so think of them as relatively the same

Whenever Wally resists the Entity he feels intense pain throughout his whole body bc of the entity

Wally has only most control in the claws bc if he stays still/refuse to chase the Entity will take control and force Wally to go after survivors again; In a way the Entity is like a puppeteer if Wally disobeys, it takes control of his movements until he does what it wants again

Wally isn't willingly killing anyone, he does so because of the entity and the empty promise that obeying means he'll return home one day

Wally disassociates often bc of having to kill and sometimes hallucinates audio and visually

There's no true way for Wally to see/reunite with his friends unless he finally escapes the entity or the entity kidnaps them to become a survivor

The others don't know where Wally has gone, Home is the most distressed about this with Barnaby being a close second

The AU works with the theory/concept that WH exists in like a pocket universe where all the puppets are actually alive however Wally is the only one with a puppet in the real world/human world that he can actually control and such + is the only one aware of the real world outside of Home who only knows because Wally confided to him about it

DBD! Wally's Mori:

FAQ About the DBD AU

Q: What is DBD? A: Its an abbreviation for dead by daylight, what's dead by daylight? Its a game, google can go more in depth about it more than I can!

Q: Will any of your aus be made into ai chat bots? A: No. My boundaries have been breached a million times over on this so anyone mentioning anything about ai bots will get blocked.

Q: Is DBD Wally a spider? A: No, he had no bug like influence. Wally was inspired by the Entity claws from the actual game and Doc Oc from Spiderman/Spiderverse.I have a huge bug/arachnophobia so no, he is not a spider

#welcome home dbd au #wally darling dbd au #wally darling #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #dbd au #dead by daylight WH au #barnaby b beagle #howdy pillar #poppy partridge #sally starlet #frank frankly #eddie dear #julie joyful #welcome home home #Demi's art

[miraluking-respectfully]

How Tall are the SWTOR Boyfriends?

This was written some months ago, but the Theron Height Poll has inspired me to actually post it.

Basing my metrics around 1) the average male height in the USA where I live (5'9" or 1.75m, according to google) 2) what would be funniest or cutest when matched to their personalities and dynamics with the player character. Bear in mind: I am not operating under the assumption that being a short man is something to be ashamed of (it isn't in the real world and it isn't in Star Wars), but some of the husbands in this video game have personalities that are...enhanced by engaging in a little playful stereotyping. You'll see what I mean.

Jorgan: 5'11-6'/~1.8m, hovering somewhere in the above average range. It makes him more intimidating to the average private who makes the mistake of getting his attention, but by the same token, more charming when he warms up to the Trooper and proves himself just a big fuzzy kitty. With a big fuzzy sniper rifle

Andronikos: 5'6ish, 5'7ish (~1.7m), hard to tell because he slouches. He only really stands up straight when he's trying to be a big tough guy

Quinn: 5'7"/1.7018m. No ambiguity because his posture is perfect. Alternate Interpretation: However tall your SW is, he is exactly 6 centimeters shorter. Come Here Elbow Rest

Doc: 5'4"/1.6m. No, not because I think his womanizing personality is him "overcompensating"; in fact Doc's height is only ever an advantage in his romantic conquests. He comes on so strong that him being particularly tall might be intimidating. But nah, he's just a little birthday boy, so the hot people in his orbit let their guard down, allowing him to get in close and hit 'em with a pickup line related to his medical expertise. Being small also means he's harder to hit when helping retrieve wounded resistance fighters from the battlefield #BalmorraForever

Felix: 5'11"/~1.8m, he gets an ABOVE AVERAGE height bc he is an ABOVE AVERAGE husband can I get an AMEN

Torian: You ever met a high school freshman and been fucking shocked that children are allowed to be so enormous? The kid's like, 14 years old and shot up like two feet over the summer, and it feels illegal? That's Torian. He's 19 and he's been 6'2"/~1.87m for the past five and a half years, but he's still a little gangly and the only reason he knows how to control his extremely long limbs is he's literally a trained fighter. Alternate Interpretation: If your BH is taller than 5'10, he's 5'10 exactly

Corso: 6'/1.82m. I know I just said negative associations around short men don't exist in The Galaxy Far Far Away, but Corso seems like the kind of guy who would somehow independently develop a complex about his height, if he was short. The fact he doesn't means he must be tall

Vector: God, I really wanted to make him on the shorter side of average to pair with his mild-mannered personality and contrast the more unusual elements of his speech and his eyes, but his sleek character design makes him feel tall when I'm looking at him. He's also the only LI I've drawn beside one of my characters, and I just sort of unconsciously made him tall because my agent is kind of short, and it looked appealing. Results inconclusive; some boyfriends can grow as tall as starships while others can be as small as mites

Arcann: 5'8"/1.72m. (Thexan was 5'9")

Theron: No taller than 5'9"/1.75m. Theron seems like a pretty normal guy when you meet him, until he reveals himself to be an insane little freak (affectionate), so giving him the most Average Height Possible feels correct.

Koth: However tall Lana is, Koth is exactly 2 cm shorter.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk. I encourage spirited debate in the replies. Girl LI Height Opinions still percolating

#swtor #aric jorgan #andronikos revel #malavai quinn #doc swtor #archiban frodrick kimble #felix iresso #torian cadera #corso riggs #vectory hyllus #arcann tirall #theron shan #koth vortena

[inklore]

—🍊. 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀𝐔'𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓

this is not a writing challenge, this is just a list of summer au's that have been collecting dust in my google docs that i'm both sick of looking at, and also feel like for those who also really enjoy writing summery fics, could always use more inspiration or ideas for au's or scenario's (even if it's just smutty or fluffy blurbs).

please make note that anyone can use these for any fandom or character. it's literally for everyone, for whatever ship, gender, or verse. no one owns au's and everyone makes them their own and writes differently. so please do with the content below as you wish!!

you don't gotta tag me if you use one but would i love to read your beautiful work? hell yeah so feel free to if ya feel like it.

i separated each into categories + some might have added context or prompts because i have zero self control and like to be extra and add ideas onto things lmao.

hopefully someone finds these fun and helpful, happy writing my loves <3

LOCATION.

beach

ocean

ice cream parlor

lake town

ranch

summer camp

summer school

island

boat

fishing town

resort

the woods

national park

public pool

destination wedding

renaissance fair

lake house

bar

theme park

capecod

italy

winery / vinyards

country club

cruise ship

concert

RELATIONSHIP BASED.

brothers best friend ('unfortunately' spending the summer with your family)

neighbors au

exes back for the summer

bodyguard au (character a has to follow around reader whose some princess/rich girl on a vacation, bonus points if she's supposed to be on lockdown but refuses to stay at the hotel, even more bonus points if her parents sent her on this vacation as a rehabilitation for her bad habits)

best friends dad (you're spending the summer with your bestie and god her dads hot as hell)

mermaid x human

frat boy x good girl (last minute studying together before summer break, or maybe the frat is throwing a big grad party and reader decides to let loose for the first time in forever)

frat boy x sorority girl (it's giving rich hoes who can't stand each other who get caught doing something and have to do community service with each other alllll summerrrrr long, can you think of anything worse?!)

sitcom stars (they're both on some summer love show but fall for each other instead, or you're two celebs supposed to be fake dating on some mtv drama show in palm springs but you actually fall for each other)

park ranger x someone who thought going camping alone would be fun but oh shit i know nothing about the wilderness au

ex-best friends ex (a summer love but put revenge and 'we're only fucking because this friend screwed me over and it'll really show them' au anyone??)

lifeguard x parent au (or you saved my life let me repay you wink wink)

dads best friend

house sitter x house owner (or neighbor, or family member who came home early and wtf are you doing here and who are you?? or even the old i asked the neighbor to watch our house but also my wife wink wink)

babysitter who tags along on vacation with the family au

fake dating (for the summer)

friends to lovers was made for summer au's!!!

superhero x vigilante (nightly meet ups to keep the streets safe)

friends with benefits but only for the summer au

painter x muse

body found on beach x person who found them (+ the added bonus of the two of them working together to figure out wtf happened and how they got there)

sugar baby x sugar whathaveyou (free vacation? hell yeah)

roommates (renting a room for summer what could go wrong)

tour guide / local x tourist

camp counselor x parent of camper

friend group on a drama filled vacay au

the only single people at this resort for couples au

sad housewife x pool boy

DARK THEMED.

cult au

slasher au

hitchhiking gone wrong (or right)

monster au (summer is the perfect time to go exploring for the monster in the woods or the lake, ocean even, obviously)

haunted house au

ghost hunting au

hunter x prey (bonus points if they don't know they're being hunted until it's too late)

safe house au (gone wrong)

kidnapping au (it's giving 365 days but less shitty ok)

stranded au (on an island, in a creepy town, etc)

bestie's trip gone wrong au (the innocent looking guys at the pool who are gorgeous are actually super shitty and deadly omg, or the couple in the hotel room next to us are insane wow, or someone is killing us off...but it's someone within the friend group)

stuck in an abandoned amusement park au

INSPIRED BY.

grease au

dirty dancing au

x au (70s-80s pornstars au + added slasher element if ya wanna make it dark)

daisy jones & the six / rocker au (summer tour anyone?)

the white lotus (cheating au?? a couple hoping a vacation will fix their marriage, maybe even the whole shitty husband leaves you there and you fall for one of the resort workers)

50 first dates au (but make it 'i bet i can make you fall in love with me by the end of summer)

jurassic park au

i know what you did last summer au

friday the 13th au

the final girls au (aka you end up in your favorite movie and have to find your way out with a side of 'oh shit there's my fav character what if i stayed and made them fall in love with me instead', or go full final girls au and you're stuck in a cult horror movie and have to survive the night to get out of it)

outer banks / goonies au

schitt's creek au

romeo and juliet (1996) au

mama mia au (the prequeal tho aka boning a bunch of people and omg i'm pregnant who is the baby daddy tho??)

overboard au

OCCUPATIONS.

naturalist

farmers market vender

dog walker / dog sitter

dive bar singer

surfer

swim instructor

vet

journalist

camp counselor

author

cowboy

undercover pi

contractor

car wash attendant

lifeguard

gardener / landscaper

summer intern

tour guide

tutor

nanny

theme park owner

bartender

house sitter

summer farmhand

golf course caddy

sign-holder

movie theatre worker

uber driver

wedding photographer

hotel receptionist

RANDOM.

heatwave (how ever will we stay cool?)

shipwreck / stranded on an island au

rainstorm / hurricane au (stuck inside oh no what will we do??)

love triangle that shit

matchmaking au

love letters in a bottle au

drunken karaoke

kissing in the rain is top tier

workaholic letting loose au

(illegal) car racing au

road trip au

#feel free to add to this list if you wish #writing prompts #writer resources #fic au's #prompts #fic resources #au's #writing reference #fic help #resources !