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dfortrafalgar · 8 days

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I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem. But sometimes, you just need a little bit of love... and a little bit of science.

Warnings: read chapter 1 for warnings

(also it's far too late in the game for me to be asking this but can someone help me figure out why everyone's blogs outside of the first five people in the tag list dont show up. ive been on tumblr since like 2014 and still cannot figure this stuff out im sobbing)

Chapter 28

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Your maternity leave had started early, not helped by how active one of your babies was at the crack of dawn. Every morning when you woke up to the sound of your alarm and rolled over to hoist yourself out of bed, you felt a kick against your abdomen. When you stood up, you felt that familiar fluttering sensation. One morning, you slept in only a few minutes longer than you normally did, and were punished with a small shove against your bladder that had you involuntarily unloading your urine into your pajama bottoms.

That one made you cry, Law keeping his chuckles to himself as he helped you clean up in the bathroom.

“Stop berating them through my stomach,” you sobbed. “I just pissed my pants.”

Your husband had answered you with a soft kiss to your swollen skin as he bent down to pick up your soiled clothing and bring them to your washing machine. “It happens, darling. It wasn’t your fault.”

Needless to say, it had been an emotional third trimester thus far.

On a Friday evening, you were sitting reclined against the arm of your couch, a book resting on your belly as you munched on some apple slices when Law came bursting through the door. He was frantic to kick off his shoes and shrug off his lab coat, hanging it on the hooks in the entryway before scrambling into the living room and plopping himself down next to you. He was holding a notebook in his hand.

“Hello to you, too,” you stated sarcastically, placing a paper bookmark in your novel to mark your spot and adjusting yourself on the couch to sit with your legs crossed under you.

“I was busy on my break today,” Law stated matter-of-factly, flipping through the wrinkled notebook with a fervor. When he found the page he was looking for, he folded the journal in half and held out the exposed page to face you.

A bunch of squares and barely legible writing covered the lined paper. You squinted. “I have no idea what I’m looking at, babe.”

Law rarely had moments where he got so excited that he couldn’t speak, but this was clearly one of those moments. He would forget that other people didn’t have over 20 years of medical training going back to the age of five. “Sorry, sorry.” He turned the notebook back toward him, using his finger to point out what he had scribbled down. “These are genetic predictions. It’s estimated that about 50% of fraternal twins will be opposite genders, so a boy and a girl. Which means about 25% will be both boys, and about 25% will be both girls.” He moved his finger from one scribble to another. “I have black hair, which I’m assuming to be the dominant gene among the two of us. However, I’m also a carrier for brown hair, because my mother and sister both were brunettes. Accounting for your hair color, I’m estimating that it’s a 75% chance that both of our babies will have black hair. At least one of our babies will have my eye color, but I believe your eyes are the dominant trait. I remember you saying at one point that someone in your family had curly hair, right? I’m estimating a 25% chance that at least one of our kids will have curly hair. If both of our babies are boys, the chances are 75% that they’ll be colorblind, and 25% that only one of them will be colorblind. If both are girls, it’s a 75% chance that both of them will be carriers for the colorblind gene, 25% that only one of them will be. But again, this is all approximations. So then I started thinking about more technical stuff. I have B+ blood, but I couldn’t remember what your blood type was, so we have to go off of the Rh factor, which is dominant with positive Rh, which means that at least one of our babies will have Rh positive blood, likely both. Male pattern baldness is also a dominant trait in most families, but I’m 26 and still have a full head of hair, so hopefully if we have a boy, he won’t have to worry about hair loss. Funnily enough, I learned today that having six fingers on one or both hands can actually be a dominant allele in some genetic lines, but neither of our family members have had any form of polydactyly that I can recall. Just an interesting thought. Anyway–”

Your shoulders were shaking with your laughter. “Law, slow down! Breathe!” Your hands reached forward to grab his shoulders to settle his excited rambling, his face slowly losing color as he was speaking more than he was absorbing oxygen.

You watched as your husband took a long gulp of hair in before blowing it out slowly. “Sorry. I got excited.”

“Don’t apologize, you’re adorable,” you replied, stroking your hand along his cheek. “How long did it take you to write all that down?”

Law glanced one more time at his notebook before closing it and discarding it on the coffee table. “About 15 minutes.”

You snorted. “I hope intelligence is a dominant trait so that both of our kids will be as smart as you.”

“You’re smart too,” he argued back, his voice light and content.

“Not ‘scribble down multiple punnett squares in 15 minutes’ smart,” you countered. “Have you eaten anything yet?”

He shook his head, stretching his arms behind his back. “Nope, I came straight home. I was too excited to show you that.”

You grinned, struggling to lean forward to kiss the tip of his nose. He assisted you by leaning forward on his own legs, pressing his forehead to yours.

“How have you been feeling?” he asked suddenly, diverting the topic. One of his hands came to rest on the crest of your belly, petting the taught skin through your shirt.

“Tired,” you replied. “It’s hard to stand up. Robin said both babies are probably around 2 or 3 pounds by now, but honestly it feels like I’m carrying lead weights when I stand. I feel like a turtle.”

“Any more movement?” he asked, scooting over the cushions to be closer to you, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders to pull you into him. You gladly followed his gesture, dropping your head into his neck.

“One of them moves in the morning still, the other likes to kick when I go to bed. The only reason I’ve been able to tell is because I feel them on different sides,” you groaned. “I don’t know what it looks like with them folded up in there, but they haven’t made it easy on me.”

Law hummed in response, his free hand stroking your belly. The feeling of his palm against your bump felt more soothing than the finest lotion. “I’m just glad that they’re both okay… not like I’m thrilled that you’re in pain, obviously, but…”

“No, trust me, I am too,” you sighed, closing your eyes. “I’ve made it this long now, and both of them are still alive. And pretty soon…”

Your husband knew exactly what you were going to say when your voice trailed off. It was a subject the two of you had been tip-toeing around for quite some time.

The birth.

“That’s the one thing that’s still scaring me,” you admitted. “I’m already high risk, and anything could go wrong. I might have to be ripped open while awake to get them out. I might die, even.”

Law felt his chest clench. “Don’t say that, you won’t die.”

“But we don’t know that,” you sighed, your voice growing more nervous by the second.

“No, you won’t die,” he replied firmly.

You felt mildly guilty for broaching the subject. You knew how difficult it was for him to even think about the slim chance of losing his family again, not when he had come so far and achieved so much with you. You leaned your head upward to kiss the soft skin of his neck, his sideburns tickling your forehead. You felt his arm around your shoulder pull you even closer to him, his breaths shallow.

“I’m sorry…” you muttered.

“Don’t be,” he responded quickly. “I mean it. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

His hand dropped from your belly to grasp your own, tilting his head down to meet your own as his lips gently pressed against yours. Your eyes slipped closed, leaning into his tender kiss and wrapping your free arm around his torso. The size of your belly made it hard to be flush against him, but you made do. After all, you would have to get used to cuddling with two babies soon enough.

You pulled away from his lips. “Hey, so how’s the studying been? For that surgery?”

Law groaned, not at you, but at the mere thought of the looming procedure that had been bearing on his mind for the past eight weeks. “I feel like I’m back in med school, that’s for sure. I feel ready for it, but at the same time I can never be too prepared. It’s going to be… a lot.”

Dual heart-lung transplants were very, very rare, and used for the most severe of cases. The procedure had never been performed at Law’s hospital before. Single heart transplants had been done, and a few lung transplants, but never at the same time. Law’s cardiac ward was specifically chosen for the operation because of the young doctor’s expertise in the field. The patient’s life was quite literally in Law’s hands.

A small smirk flashed on his face. “I started wearing gloves in that patient’s room with his family. I don’t want them to see the tattoos on my fingers.”

“Do you not wear gloves for any other patients?” you asked with a small giggle.

“No, I do, when performing treatments. When I’m on rounds, I just stick my hands in my pockets,” he explained. He had one dimple on his cheek that showed up when he smiled. You couldn’t help but peck a quick kiss to it. His stomach suddenly grumbled, startling the two of you.

“You stay right here, I’ll make us some dinner,” he said, making a move to stand up.

“Pancakes,” you demanded with your own mischievous smirk.

“We had pancakes a week ago,” he replied with a smile.

“And?”

Law leaned down for one last kiss on the crown of your head. “Alright. Pancakes it is.”

—

Your pregnancy journal had gone from an anxious possession that you worried would jynx your good luck to a vice that you crawled back to whenever you were bored. The pages were filled with the ink from your pen as you used the prompts to delve into some of the thoughts you kept to yourself, your feelings about your body, your babies, your relationships, the hopes and dreams and the worries and troubles you tried not to stress about. You kept track of the gifts you had received, the words of advice from your doctor, and the unprovoked comments from elderly ladies at the supermarket who liked to comment about how cute of a couple you were when you shopped for food with your husband.

The grouchy, black-haired surgeon with bags under his eyes and a resting bitch face, and you, his slightly shorter, glowing wife with a very large pregnant belly and a polite, shining smile on her face. You were truly a match made in heaven, one might say.

Law had been busier and busier in the weeks getting closer to your due date. As the weather got colder, the holidays came and went, and the new year began, he was diving more and more into his studies preparing for what was easily the largest, most intense, and most serious surgery of his professional career. Some might assume that you would get tired of the neglect, growing frustrated that he wasn’t around to spend time with you in your third trimester, but in reality, you couldn’t be more proud.

The sight of him hunched over your kitchen table surrounded by old textbooks and papers was an image straight out of your college days, where you’d let yourself into his single dorm room close to midnight and find him on his floor in the dim lighting surrounded on all sides by professional journals, research papers, and textbooks from every esteemed surgeon in his field. You’d sit down next to him and diligently push french fries against his lips as his eyes stayed glued to his studies, rewarding you during his sparse downtime with awkward kisses that tasted like salt and firm yet shaky hands that were obsessed with traveling up and down your body.

The only difference now was that Law was that professional in his field, that he was in an apartment, and that you both had rings on your fingers. The french fries stayed the same, but he at least had a piece of mind to feed himself while you watched from the couch and giggled. Every once in a while, he would lean back against his seat and pop his spine with a satisfied groan, toss you a fond look across the room, and go back to reading. Sometimes, you would stand behind him and rub his stiff shoulders, encouraging him to stand up and stretch his legs just as he would do to you to ensure you remained strong during the final weeks of your pregnancy.

The only thing weighing on your mind was the panging worry that he would be in the middle of this massive procedure when you went into labor. You were both informed by your doctor that most twins would be delivered either naturally or induced at around 36 weeks, almost a month before single babies were usually born, and with your due date at 38 weeks being in the middle of May, you had a nagging feeling in your head that he would miss it.

You both tried to hold onto hope that your babies would be delivered any other day that month. He would be gone for only a day, a full 24 hours, in total the day of the surgery. What were the odds that your babies would be born on that specific day? Slim, to say the least.

At around 32 weeks, it was getting hard for you to stand up. Your movements were slow and labored, and you were spending most of your days in your apartment either on your couch or in your bed, standing up when instructed by Law, or Shachi and Penguin when he was at work, to walk laps around your home. The fear of blood clots forming in your legs and traveling to your lungs, as described by your lovely husband in far too much detail, was enough to make you more determined to keep the blood pumping in your body.

“Alright, ready?” Law stated, standing behind you in the kitchen as you slowly made your way through a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

“Ready,” you stated back, your eyes focused on washing the silverware in your hands.

His inked hands traveled around your torso and under your belly, lifting up against the bottom of your bump. The sudden relief of having the weight lifted off of your back made an almost erotic moan leave your lips, your grip on the silverware releasing slightly as the tension in your entire body flooded from your veins like a broken dam.

“Feel good?” he asked from behind you with a smirk, his chin resting on the crown of your head.

“Oh my god,” you groaned. “I saw a lot of posts that said that it feels good, but I didn’t think it would feel this good. I wish you could do that constantly.”

Sparse kisses were placed to the back of your head as his hands slowly released their pressure against the bottom of your bump, leaving your back aching once more as your body was forced to bear the brunt of the weight in your abdomen. You stifled a whimper as you were forced to hold what felt like 50 extra pounds on your own again, but Law’s lingering presence behind you with his hands resting idly on your belly soothed your aches subconsciously.

“Busy spring, huh?” he asked, filling the room where the only other sound was the sloshing from your dish washing.

You hummed in response, rinsing your hands and turning off the tap, drying your hands on a towel that lay on the counter beside you. “You could say that.” You turned around to lean against the counter, Law’s hands remaining on your body as you rotated. He leaned forward to capture your lips in his, you rewarding him with a smile.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to be more physical with you…” you sighed.

Law pulled away. “Why are you sorry for that?”

You shrugged. “You seem like you’ve been a lot more handsy with me lately, and I can’t reciprocate. And I’m probably not going to be able to reciprocate for a while after I give birth.”

Your husband chuckled, planting chaste kisses across your cheeks. “I’m not ‘being handsy with you’ because I want anything. I’m ‘being handsy’ because I want you to be happy and comfortable. I’m not expecting anything in return. And by the way,” he pulled away to stare into your worried eyes. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking about your post-birth body being somehow inferior to how you were before pregnancy, I know it.”

You averted your gaze, your lips pinching together.

“And I know you don’t like the stretch marks on your belly,” he added.

“Where are you going with this?” you asked, your voice quiet.

“Because I’m going to remind you every day how beautiful you are. Always. Even the changes that come with having a child. You’re always going to be beautiful to me. I’ll never be repulsed by your stretch marks or wrinkled skin or cellulite like you think I’m going to be. The person standing in front of me is a beautiful woman who has given me a life worth living, and I’m going to cherish her and support her through everything.”

Your eyes darted toward his neck, where his glass necklace still sat between his collarbones. He religiously wore it every single day, only taking it off to shower, sleep, and perform surgeries. Likewise, you never removed your glass ring. Hot tears began to form in your eyes, but your lips curled into a smile. Your expression fought for dominance over being happy or sad, and what resulted was a shaky grin, furrowed eyebrows, and watery eyes.

“What did I do to deserve you?” you asked, letting a few lose tears escape the corners of your eyes.

Your husband kissed the damp streaks that your tears left behind on your cheeks. “You fed me french fries on the floor of my dorm room in college. I think that’s when I knew you were going to be my wife one day.”

A bubbly laugh left your throat as your hands gripped his shoulders for stability. “I think I knew when you found me out behind my dorm building that night.”

Law leaned in to kiss you one more time, but a sudden gasp left your lips as your entire body tensed up. A stinging cramping sensation rippled across your abdomen, lingering in your muscles. It lasted about 30 seconds, where your shaking hands clenched the cotton of Law’s shirt, his eyes wide and frenzied as his hands supported your upright posture, before the pain finally dissipated into a mild buzz, then nothing at all.

You stared into Law’s eyes. “Can you help me sit down?”

#x reader #reader insert #fem reader #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece x reader #op x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #i'm losing you

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livlaughloveluke · 5 months

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I BEGG soft spiderman bf ethan x hello kitty gf reader

Its just an idea, but if you acc wanna write spiderman!ethan i would look thru a few blogs abt that on here since they're REALLY good. I recommend @spiderlandry

Otherwise it could just be what they're into

Maybe ethan gets reader a hello kitty plushie and she repays him w a comic

Now that i think abt it they dont even have to be dating to begin with

Anyways ik its technically thursday so its okay if you dont get to this right away!! Happy turkey day :)

𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: ethan has to make up for a wrecked sleepover

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: ethans not a great bf but makes up for it at the end

𝐚/𝐧: tysm for this amazing request holy! hope you enjoy :)

you cuddled up into ethan’s arms, the warmth from his embrace making you feel fuzzy inside. you peered down at your matching pastel pink pyjama pants, that were printed with little hello kitty designs all over. ethan had bought them for the both of you, which was a lovely surprise considering you were extremely fond of the endearing cartoon cat.

the obsession started out when you were a young child. the moment you saw the adorable white kitten sewed on a blanket, you fell in love. ever since then, birthdays and christmases were filled with variations of the cat. stuffed animals, clothes, and even school supplies were somehow always decorated with the familiar animal.

your infatuation of the cartoon character seemed to simmer down as you grew older, but it never fully dissipated. for example, when you were a kid you had sheets plastered in the hello kitty pattern, but now in college all that remains on your bed is a stuffed animal of her. however, the simple cat never failed to paint a smile on your face. it wasn’t just her cuteness that drew you toward her, but instead a feeling of nostalgia from your childhood.

ethan smiled, looking down at your face to read your expression. you were deep in thought, staring at your cozy pants. he was captivated by your beauty, and your ability to pull off the comfy look. he was the luckiest man in the entire world. he got to have you, and awesome powers.

your boyfriend, ethan, was your friendly neighborhood spiderman. it was amazing that he was capable of saving lives on the daily, but sometimes his special powers made you feel a little lonely. ethan spent most nights out on the crime-filled streets of new york city, so it was rare you had sleepovers like these. tonight however, he was all yours, and you were free-

the sudden ring of his phone snapped you and him out of your daydreams. he speedily plucked his phone off the coffee table, and answered it. if someone was calling this late at night, you knew it wouldn’t be good. he set off to the other room, with a confused look on his face. his dark brown brows were scrunched together, and his pale lip slightly curled upon hearing the words coming from the device.

he waltzed into your room, trying to get away so he could hear, and you knew what was going to happen next. you filled with sorrow, realizing that he would have to abandon another night of spending time together.

a few minutes later, he walked back out. this time, his eyes were stained with sadness and you sighed, waiting for him to declare his departure.

“y/n, i am so, so sorry but i have-“ ethan starts, but you cut him off, easily able to predict his next words.

“let me guess, another major crime broke out and the city needs their superhero to come save them? it’s okay babe, we can try again another night.” you say, trying to hide your disappointment while kissing him on the cheek.

“it’s not okay, seriously. i pinky promise you i’ll make it up to you soon. i wish i could stay here with you forever, but we both know i can’t.” he states, and you try your best to smile. he grabs his keys and kisses you farewell, promising to return later that night.

he exited out the front door, presumably to change in his car, so he could go resolve whatever issue was causing this ruckus tonight.

you then turned the tv off, and trudged to your bedroom, eager to sleep away the dissatisfaction and pain from this evening.

your salty tears stained your pillow as you silently weeped. you loved ethan, but his constant

abandonment left you feeling heartbroken. you felt selfish, knowing he was out fighting crime, and you still wanted him to be cuddled up with you in bed right now. you slowly fell asleep, now saddled with the heartache of being alone.

ethan was currently swinging as fast as possible through the dark and empty city, rushing so he could he could get back to you. eventually, the pain and exhaustion from the previous fight caught up to him, and he dropped from the buildings to cruise the street. he was out of breath, and every step he took just added to his desire to sleep. although, on his treacherous hike back, the sight of a plushie in a store window made him stop dead in his tracks. it was a large, fluffy hello kitty that stood tall on the shelf, displayed proudly.

he was instantly reminded of you, so he rushed in and grabbed it, slamming enough cash onto the counter before enthusiastically running out. the cashier just stood there, astonished as to what just happened.

ethans heart raced as he began swinging through the tall skyscrapers again. he desperately looked around for your apartment, and when he found it, he impatiently started climbing to reach your bedroom window.

the scattered knocks coming from outside your room woke you up, and you jumped out of your warm bed, cautiously opening your window to see who this strange person was. it was ethan, who breathed heavily through his spiderman costume, with an adorable stuffed animal in hand.

you moved out of the way so he could escape the cold darkness of outside and enter your heated apartment. he ripped off his mask, the sweat adhering some of his curls to his forehead. the lighting allowed him to see your tear-stained cheeks, and guilt washed over him as he wiped them away. before you could get a word in, he handed you the hello kitty plush and began talking.

“i am so sorry for leaving you unexpectedly like that. i’ve spent so much time away from you, and i understand if you want to break up with me, but i really, really want this relationship to work out because i lov-“ he stopped himself. you had never exchanged those three simple words, and his nerves didn’t allow him to. he just continued on, now more careful of his word choice.

“because i care about you. i will give up everything for you if you want me to, just say it and this whole spiderman thing will go away.” you look into his honest brown eyes, and glance back down at your new stuffed animal.

“eth, i don’t want to break up with you, nor do i want you to throw away your life. i just want you to spend time with me. you are the most caring boyfriend in the world, but sometimes i just want to cuddle with you, or do something that a normal couple would do.” he brought you into a warm embrace, and you talked it out. he would try to clear up his schedule so you could have a sleepover together at least once a week, plus all of the times you see each other in class.

you provided him with some of his clothes that he left from previous nights, since his pink pants were now lost in his car, and neither of you had the energy to venture out and get them. you lazily climbed into bed with him, moving so you could lay on his chest. before you drifted off into sleep, you made sure to share one last thing.

“i love you too, by the way.”

taglist- @nowitsmissing, @nikoschrissis, @lvndryyhoe, @ieattoesforbreakfqst, @sevenheavxns, @wonderstruck4llthew4yhome, @imkillmyselfxoxo, @lumaxstans-blog, @ilovejackchampionnn, @hyeyulove, @jackchampiongf13, @sebastiansallowsgf, @michaelangdonsslut, @1212valee, @teenagedramaqueenlisa, @fherlima, @kate4katie, @itsb3a2, @maybankfr

some names wouldn’t let me tag :(

#ethan landry #ethan landry angst #ethan landry x reader #fanfic #masterlist #ethan landry fluff #liv’s writing !

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newtthetranswriter · 7 months

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hELLO!!! ANNYEONGHASE- ok i'll stop

so may i ask for some megumi fushiguro crumbs??? fluff pleaseeee and i was thinking about a scenario where megumi tries to confess to reader his feelings... bUT every time he wants to he gets interrupted!! and when he finally manages to catch reader and say what he feels, reader takes out an uno reverse card from their pocket with a stupid smile... you can include gojo and other students as the wing people of megs but imma leave it to you!!!! thank you in advance, take the time you need and dont stress about it!!!! love u and have a nice rest after work 💞💞

Word count: 827

Paring: Megumi Fushiguro x reader

A/n: Hey Ness, thank you for requesting. Honestly I think this is my first time writing for Megumi so I hope you enjoy it. Also tried a different pov for this one so let me know how you like it. Have a good day or night, and remember to Hydrate or diedrate. REQUESTS ARE OPEN

He had been trying to tell you for weeks. And before that Itadori had spent over a month trying to get him to admit his feelings to himself. At this point Megumi was a wreck to put it simply. He tried to act like it wasn’t affecting him, but it was starting to feel like the whole world was against him.

Megumi had approached you during dinner two weeks ago, having come up with the perfect plan. Unfortunately a certain cursed corpse messed everything up. Here's how it went.

“Hey Y/n, can we talk for a minute?” He asked approaching the table you were sitting at. Smiling up at him you nodded, getting up to follow him out of the room. Once out of the crowded dining hall he began to speak again. “So, I’ve been meaning to tell-” Before could finish his sentence, the door burst open again.

“You guys have to come see this, Itadori and Inumaki are competing to see who can fit the most rice balls in their mouth at once.” Panda said in excitement, dragging the both of you back inside.

While the others were busy watching the two be idiots, you leaned over to Megumi. “Hey, what is it you wanted to talk about?” You asked in a hushed voice trying not to draw attention, silently hoping he was going to confess.

He paused for a moment, then turned away. “It was nothing.” He said getting up and leaving you feeling disappointed.

The next time he tried to confess was on one of the days off you get as Jujutsu sorcerers. Megumi was sure no one would interrupt him this time. And he had made Itadori promise to keep everyone busy and away from your dorm so he could tell you. Itadori being the good wing man he is, agreed and did his best. Unfortunately no one could predict what happened that afternoon.

You two had been relaxing in your dorm like you do on every day off, just watching tv and chatting. He figured this was as good a time as any. So he went for it. “Y/n can I tell you something important?”

Sitting up startled but curious, you responded. “Of course Megs, you can tell me anything.”

Not thinking he would get this far he started. “Well, we’ve been friends for a while now and I’ve been thinking about this a lot.” He paused for only a second to collect his thoughts when the door burst open revealing the bane of Megumi’s existence.

“Sorry to interrupt but I thought you would all like to know that Okkotsu is back from his overseas mission.” The obnoxious white haired man said.

Upon hearing of the return of one of your closest friends, you quickly jumped off your bed running out of the room. Completely forgetting the conversation you were having with Megumi. Leaving the boy to slump back into the bed.

Megumi had enough, he was going to try and tell you one last time and if something got in the way, he would accept that fate had other plans and give up. So he cornered you one morning before training started. He was determined for this to go well. He wasn’t going to beat around the bush either, he was going to be straight forward and rip off the bandaid.

“Y/n I’ve liked you for a long time, and not just in the oh you’re cool kinda way. I want to spend all my free time with you and protect you no matter what.” He didn’t even pause to get a reaction, he just kept going. “I’ve been trying to tell you for weeks, but something always came up. But this is the last time I’m trying this, so I need you to know that I love you.” Megumi didn’t even register all the words that came out of his mouth.

You stood frozen for a moment. This was a dream come true Megumi Fushiguro just told you he loved you and your mind was buzzing. After getting over the initial shock, you reached in your pocket confusing the dark haired boy in front of you. With the biggest smile he had ever seen you handed him a green Uno reverse card.

“What the hell is this supposed to mean?” It was his turn to be shocked.

Instead of giving him a verbal response right away, you leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “It means, I love you too. Now as much as I would love to skip training to go on a date, we wouldn’t hear the end of it from Gojo, so we should get going.” You said before walking towards the training field. Megumi was left frozen for a minute, not believing that just happened. Getting over his shock he realized you were right, so he carefully placed the uno card in his pocket and headed outside to join you.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #x reader #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #megumi fushiguro x reader

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jacarandaaaas · 10 months

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why waiting on a miracle is one of my favorite (and one of the most underrated) encanto songs:

So this song in my humble opinion is one of the most under appreciated songs from the movie so I’m here to give it some appreciation! (Also the irony of the song being about being ignored and overlooked and that’s exactly what happened)

So waiting on a miracle is the classic “disney I want song” but to me this song is so much more than that. One thing that sticks out to me immediately is the fact unlike most I want songs, mirabel isn’t singing about wanting more than she already has shes singing about something she lacks but SHOULD have already. From the title most people gathered that she wants a magical gift like the rest of her family and whilst that is true I find it profound that it’s not the magic for the sake of magic she wants. It’s the appreciation from her family. All she wants is to contribute and fit in and she feels the only way she can do that is if she gets a gift. It’s also important to note unlike most I want songs mirabel doesn’t get *exactly* what she wants at the end which she mentions is a miracle. She does however end up getting her ultimate goal which is the acceptance and she doesn’t need a miracle to do that. Also with the title being “waiting on a miracle” a miracle is rare it’s thought to be something almost impossible or not even real. So for mirabels I want song to be about this shows that even she herself is aware it’s literally an impossible ask but she’s just dreaming of the possibilities if she got something as rare as a miracle.

I also found the instrumental quite genius as some have already pointed out all the madrigal songs are in 4/4 time… except this one. Waiting on a miracle is in 3/4 time as yet another subtle way to show she’s out of place. as lin manuel himself said “she’s literally out of beat with the rest of her family” so thanks for that lin the song was already sad enough but you just had to do that👍

also congratulations to mirabel for being one of the few disney characters to actually say when they aren’t ok “I’m not fineeee” I know that seems minuscule but it’s so refreshing to hear a character actually express that they are feeling negative emotions and it’s ok to express that. Especially since bottling up emotions is so common nowadays it’s a good message for the next generation <3

also waiting on a miracle kinda sorta predicts the whole movie? “I would move the mountains, make new trees and flowers grow” “I would heal whats broken show this family something new” she ended up achieving all of that in the movie’ 1. The mountains split when the house was collapsing. 2. She helped isabela discover what else she could do thus making new trees and flowers grow. 3. She basically healed the entire family which is what was broken and she showed them all they are enough without gifts! So that’s just a nice little bit of foreshadowing.

Ok now back to the sad stuff! in the lyric “I would heal whats broken” turns out she’s not referring to the entire family but herself. She views herself as broken because she didn’t get a gift and she wants to fix herself 💔 another lyric to note is “cant keep down the unspoken invisible pain” a lot of people talk about how inconsiderate the madrigals are towards mirabel but the thing is they don’t realize how it effects her. We know she can put on a hell of an act (see family madrigal song) and she herself refers to her pain as “invisible” she’s hiding it from everyone so they don’t realize how badly she’s hurting because she puts on the whole optimistic act. So another way the movie demonstrates the communication issues within the family.

And how can I forget mirabel literally telling herself at the beginning “dont be upset or mad at all” she’s quite literally telling herself to not feel those things that she’s “totally fine” I also love the fact the music is in the tune of “the family madrigal” up until she says “I’m not fine” I just thought that was a cool detail!

I’ve seen people complain about “open your eyes” x3 because it doesn’t get any louder or higher it just stays the same. Well there’s actually a reason for that! the song is called waiting on a miracle, mirabel is stuck in that position. She’s stuck waiting. It’s also important to note that the visual of her begging to her abuela to “open her eyes” and not being noticed implies that she’s been trying for a long time to be noticed but she keeps being stuck.

Also shoutout to Stephanie beatriz for the amazing acting because I could FEEL the emotion and the passion. and yes I know it’s because she’s in labour but I also believe even if she wasn’t in labour the song would still sound emotional as stephanie is a really great actress! I believe in an interview she stated she wanted to perform this song like it’s the first time mirabel is expressing these feelings to herself. Basically yeah that’s true she had been lying to herself for a decade and finally she decides to admit to herself she’s not fine she’s not happy and she wants a change. The voice crack on “I’m not fine” is actually heartbreaking and this is the moment her facade breaks entirely, and I love the vocal cry she does on “longing to shine like all of you shine” it’s just these little vocal details that add so much to the song and make it so powerful

I’ve also seen people complaining this song isn’t “belty” enough but it’s just not that type of song! mirabel is stuck in her position and if you notice in a lot of Disney movies once it reaches the climax of the i want song the protagonist comes to a decision of sorts. Take “how far I’ll go for example” she decides she’s going to sail beyond the reef and the music climaxes, she also has the triumphant high note at the end. Waiting on a miracle unlike how far I’ll go is NOT a triumphant song. The music does climax but only to emphasize mirabels false hope as she’s saying all the things she would do.

with the high note I firmly believe that there’s only one significant high note at the end for a particular reason. Like I said above usually high notes in Disney songs symbolize achievement or a sense of strength found. Mirabels high note has the opposite effect. She’s quite literally begging for a miracle in desperation only to realize she’s wishing for a fantasy. “Am I too late for a miracle” is the line the song ends on and the visual is important here too. We see the fireworks fade away and mirabel is left standing alone in the dark because it was all in her mind. (Looking at you “mirabels gift is time stopping” theorists)

So yeah I find this song to be quite unique and raw for an I want song and I think the “vent” aspect of it is what makes me appreciate it even more. It’s not sugar coated. To quote stephanie beatriz herself: “real, human, imperfect, yearning to belong and hoping for something beyond what she sees in herself: an expression of hope and fear, all wrapped in teen angst.”

So uh go stream waiting on a miracle because it’s a great song 👍(also yes this rant is a mess I’m terrible at articulating my feelings on songs but it’s also just for fun I’m like not a professional lmao)

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doctorcanon · 4 months

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I cant sleep so modern!linked universe hc time.

- Rusl buys Twilight a dna/ancestry thing for his 20th birthday.

- having been adopted into the Ordon family since the age of 15, the gift doesn't go over well at first.

-However after some deep conversations, Rusl explains that he promised Twilight birth parents that he'd do this if anything happened to them.

- Still Twilight procrastinates and after some cajoling from midna, finally does it a year later for his 21st birthday.

- at his party, a small family dinner at the Ordon home with Zelda, Illia and Midna in attendance, he lays the envelope on the table and says "before I open this, I want you all to know that what ever I find in here that you are all my family and I love you all."

- the first thing in the envelope is his genetic information, some basic stuff he already knows, some stuff he doesn't and somethings Zelda remarks he should see a doctor about. Apparently he's actually 65% Karariko as Renado predicted.

- the second thing is copies of his mother and father's Service Papers. Both served in the military; one as a murse and other as an officer. Both died of burns and smoke inhalation after rescuing several of their fellow tenants when the apartment above theirs caught fire.

- the third thing is a list of public records. His father was originally from Hateno and an only child save for a half brother who died a few years later. His mother, from kakariko, had two much younger siblings. Sheik and Link.

- while there are some records of a custody battle Shiek and Link were separated in the system after the death of their mother. There is an obituary written by Twilights mother with a picture of her and her three children. There's no further information about Link or Sheik.

- Until one last little page slips out, A wedding announcement from 10 years ago. Announcing the joyful union of Malon Lon and Link Kokiri. He's seen this before.

- in fact, Twilight sees this exact newspaper clipping framed in his old boss's office. He visits at least twice a month. He even jokes with him the it was the only proof the guy could actually smile.

- The Lon Lon Family owns their aptly named Lon Lon ranch but he reports to Malon's husband directly when it came to the horses. Especially Epona. He just saw the man last week, for crying out loud!

- He has an uncle. And he's already known the man for 5 years now. They thought it was just a funny coincidence that they had the same name.

- Illia says its fate. Zelda assures him that this can't be an accident. Midna presses his cell phone into his hands. Rusl tells him that its his decision and that they'll respect whatever that may be.

- He calls first, of course. He only works at the ranch on weekends these days anyway. It would be weird to just show up to his shift and just go "hey, do you know im your nephew?"

- he asks if Mr Kokiri would like to talk some time under the guise of needing some advice. Under all the grump and sarcasm, Kokiri really is a saint and easily says yes, asking if Twilight is okay since he sounds stressed.

- the next day, Twilight stumbles into his boss's office with all the papers in his hands.

- "if you need advice about school, you've come to the wrong place, kid."

"No...uh sir this ain't about school. Yet. But uh...do you recognize this picture?"

- he sets down the obituary with its photo of his mother, grandmother, Sheik and Link somewhere in Karariko. Kokiri studies it but otherwise seems clueless. "No, sorry, I dont."

- "Well according to these papers," Twilight sets them on the desk and spreads them out so he can see. "This is my mom. And this is you. Her brother. I think...I think you're my uncle."

#i dont have time to write this idea.#but its cute.#wild would be twilight's half cousin #Wind's grandmother would be Wild's great aunt making Wind their cousin too.#Wind's grandma would have two estranged nephews Legend's Uncle and Elzo.#idk how Sky and zhyrule would fit intl this but theyll be there too.#linked universe #lu time #time lu #twilight lu #lu twilight #links meet au

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caramelpenguin · 2 months

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S3 EP6 (thoughts + theories)

I want to get all the insane predictions out so I can look back on how much I clowned.🤡

These are ideas based on the moments that were in the trailer/teasers/stills. Or things that I feel might be addressed before the end...

Hillerska closing down🏫

We aren't directly told what Felice said in her interview. It's left ambiguous. So why wouldn't they tell us? Sure, there's a chance that she just praised the school but....

we got that very small snippet of the forest ridge boys yelling at each other. Could this be because they heard that Hillerska was going to shut down?

Simon (and his family) might move away 👋

they have the money now ig. this could be a reason why the ending, as ive seen around, has occasionally been described as 'open'.

this could be the context behind the shot of Linda's head on Simon's shoulder.

or maybe the 3 of them are doing smthn related to micke?

Abdication or King Wille? And August...👑

I think one of the reasons for August's storyline this season was for us to understand him more as a character so that if he becomes King, we know that he'll actually try or that he may not have been as bad as we thought. (my opinion of August isn't necessary here).

we really see how much the monarchy consumes Wille this season. Though I don't know how we'd approach the topic of abdication in just one episode.

wille has said that one of the reasons he wants to remain Crown Prince is bcos of Erik. Knowing what we now know, i'm intrigued as to what will happen.

will they acknowledge more of August's eating disorder?

August and Sara🤔

I think felice will (eventually) be fine with it. I don't know about Simon.

Things will work out, i'm sure.

Frederika and Stella💵

....they'll kiss in ep6. something will happen between them, anyway.

Shot of the 4 girls hugging

frederika has realises she likes stella by this point??

Roussea?🐎

maybe Roussea will get a slight mention in a conversation with August. Or maybe not. Who knowwwss

Wilmon screaming in the car🚗

is this Sara's car? things need to be okay by this point, right? is it after the lake scene??

Wilmon stare down👀

how? will ? this? fit? in?

is it after the graduation ceremony but before the neon party and the lake scene? does the shot of wille (with simon's hands around his neck) come after this?

is the lake scene not the final scene? is this scene actually the next day during the graduation?

does simon tell wille he's going to move away?

The Neon Party + Lake Scene 💧

the neon party is where they reconcile.

BUT i dont think it'll be a full reconcile. Simon's line 'Can't we just forget everything that's happened? Just for tonight?' makes sense to be here.

the lake scene with the swimming could happen because they both leave the party early, i dunno.

is this the last time they're able to hang out (bcos simon is moving away and bcos Hillerska will shut down)?

but we've all SEEN that it looks sad, which doesnt look all that great for endgame, and we've also been told that this is (most likely) the final scene. so. get tissues ready.

(am i crazy or is there a tiny smile on simons face in this scene? from that edmar promo we got? )

swimming happens after the sadness right? bcos (apart from the tears) they dont look wet.

if its the final scene idk what the hopes r for wilmon endgame icl

MUSIC (+Wille's birthday present)🎶

we know that 'Alice' by Rhys will play at some point. Doesn't mean it'll be a wilmon scene. it could be sara and august OR frederika and stella (?)

normally, there's a song in ep4 that's repeated in the final moments of the season. ep 4 in s3 doesn't end with a song and (from the one check I've done), i can't really hear any of the other songs used in that episode as the final song of the season. then again, i could be wrong

ELIAS SONG?? they could play 'revolution' again to make it a full circle (dont think this will happen tho). they might use a new song. i just rlly hope we'll hear an Elias song and...i feel like we will.

THE TRAILER SONG? I really pray this will be in the episode. I pray i pray i pray i-

we'll hear Simon's new song. I don't know how or when (especially if this is simon's gift to wille) but...c'mon

initially, i didn't think Redlight would appear in YR. Omar has a career outside of the show, but i do agree that the lyrics fit wilmon quite well. also, if we're gonna hear Simon's new song then I don't know how the script would work around Simon singing another song. He told Wille that his present isn't yet finished (which im sure is the song simon is currently working on), tho ig we could argue that he may sing a brand new song.

BUT then i realised that simon doesn't have to sing this song. redlight could just be part of the soundtrack ( it seems that everyone got to that conclusion before me). and the way that it's being promoted this week has me suspicious. I don't wanna get my hopes up, and maybe Omar is just being clever and promoting it during the week of YR hype, so i dont think redlight will be in s3. BUT I WILL BE VERY HAPPY IF IM WRONG❤️

ig we'll find out when the playlist gets updated

Football Field Scene

to my knowledge, we haven't got proof that they filmed there apart from that pic from Lisa (and are we sure this pic is from s3 filming?)

it would be AMAZING if they returned to this setting. ICONIC.

but idk how why they'd return here and how it would fit

it might not be a wilmon scene (could be simon + rosh + ayub, but i think theres a higher chance of it being a wilmon scene than the trio)

question- lisa said it was a wrap with a pic from the football field. which COULD mean that the last scene they filmed was there (tho it might not be the actual final scene) - was this where edmar couldn't stop crying?

💜WILMON ENDGAME?💜

they better or im going to riot

no but srsly, i dont think we'll go down a 'la la land' route. worst comes to worst, it'll be a positive open ending e.g. 'you were amazing. you'll be wonderful. we'll meet again with more freedom.' it'll be even better if there's a time skip here hahahha

like the end of ep5 gave me no hope cos idk how they're gonna get back together in one episode. but anything is possible.

arguably, the promo we've got since then leans towards endgame (?), but i dont think they'd reveal they're gonna be endgame if there wwen't gonna be more issues.

EXTRA

theres so much to cover in the final episode!! so i dont think everything will be acknowledged/addressed. things will be left ambiguous to keep the viewers thinking.

imagine if the break up at the end of ep5 wasnt that huge. that theyre still together (with tension) at the start of ep6, then they kidna ignore their disagreement. this culminates until the end, where they break up ( but very unlikely)

the future letters were there to show august's past. but could there be more to it? could we get a time skip? (again, unlikely imo. but would be sweet if done well)

a reference to the heart simon drew? maybe? probably not...

will simon give wille his orange jumper back? id love to see this on our screens but im sure we wont.

will sara's necklace make a comeback?

where does wille's 'what if I don't want to?' line come in? and the queen's line...

the shot of wille in the library (with that book in clear sight) hasn't yet appeared, right?

simon talking to sara by micke's house....hmmm. i would love a simon and micke interaction

volleyball scene + running into the lake happen as a connection to graduation?

wille with those sunglasses is a moment with felice?

do we hear anything more abt wille's birthday wish?

EXTRA .2

there are plenty of moments that happen that we don't see as viewers. so that jumper simon wears at the start of ep 2 looks like wille's. and if it is, then we didnt see the moment simon stole it wille gave it to him.

and when simon mentioned a mental health foundation, it implied that they may have had a discussion abt wille's anxiety before.

the piano scene in ep2 could have been a piano lesson that wille was giving simon, which probably means a lot more of these happened without us knowing

this makes me wonder how much wille knows about micke??

simon told august that sara's with her dad and all that- so does wille also know?

WHEN I FIRST WATCHED AND FINISHED S1 AND S2 OF YOUNG ROYALS, i knew wilmon would be together by the end of s3. like i was 100% convinced the show would end with them happy bcos that's what it had leaned towards the entire time. the vibe of it just screamed wilmon endgame to me.

i really hope past me was right, bcos the s3 promo really had me wondering. and then ep5 had me proper questioning. but netflix (and lisa) will have to pay for so much therapy if they arent endgame sooo🤷‍♀️

livelovelaugh wilmon ig

edit: ive just listened to omar's interview and now im qquuiiitteee sure redlight wont be in ep6🤷‍♀️

edit 2: will anyone else find out that it was august who posted the video?? will this prevent him from taking the throne??

#i might add to this before ep6 and the doc releases #and if ive missed smthn pls say and ill add it heh #LIVE LOVE LAUGH WILMON #wilmon #yr s3 spoilers #yr s3 #young royals #youngroyals #predictions

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fallenangels1987 · 8 months

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lets face it. the joker sucks as a batman villain. everybody thinks hes good because hes got a cool character design and hes been around since forever and writers keep trying to make him good, but in concept alone he fails to tap into any of the central themes or intrigue of batman, and nor does he reflect any of bruces internal conflict. really, the only use the joker has ever had was creating harley quinn, but now shes an entirely separate character from him so any short-lived relevance he may have had with her is gone. but contrary to what some may think, i dont think the joker should die. that decision would be a big deal and he'd be so dramatic about it, we'd have an entire plotline dedicated to it.... no one wants that. no one wants to see his stupid joker face for longer than physically necessary. it would also be reversed by the next reboot. no, we need a plan to make him irrelevant. more so than he already is, i mean.

first, we have batmans rogues gallery do a drag race. whos judging? poison ivy and the riddler. its green-themed. but see this is genius. cuz who hates the joker more than poison ivy and the riddler? yeah, harley quinn, who is not in attendance cuz she knows whats about to happen. in fact, she planned this, and shes using this as her cover to mess around with selina and try to convince her to be harley and pams third again. it wont work, but the dedication and jakey-haterism is commendable.

the drag race itself is not the focus, however. see, the entire thing has been set up to generate the most drama possible. everyone except for the joker has received invitations that say the show (which is being live broadcast to an unwilling audience of 150,000, all of whom thought they were watching the morning news up until 5 minutes ago, and found themselves unable to switch the broadcast off) will be recording their every move, so they better be on their worst behavior. the joker, unbeknownst to this, is being his usual asshole self, but not even in a fun conniving way, just in the regular asshole way.

at some point, he starts a fight. tensions are already high and hes the fucking joker. just let him dig his own grave here. he starts a fight and his (already shitty, i should add) outfit gets torn. now he has to spend all of his time that should be spent on makeup on fixing the stitching of this dress, and its going awful, and hes been forcibly removed from the makeup/costume making zone so hes just sitting on the stoop outside with a single spool of thread trying to fix this poofy ass dress. soon enough hes got 5 minutes left on the clock and hes still not finished, so hes like fuck it! im just gonna do my makeup and hope for the best. the makeup is atrocious, predictably, he doesnt even get to finish the eyeliner, but he tries to go back inside nonetheless. oops, he got locked out! thank you, tetch. now hes gotta go through the front, all the while trying not to get dirt on this dress which is falling apart on top of him, knowing full well poison ivy and the riddler and the rest of the queens are making fun of him for being late.

he gets back in. by this point, hes sweating like a damn hog, his makeup is running, but hes HERE. he sees amygdala preparing to go down the runway. no no no, the JOKER cant have that. the joker cant have anyone stealing his rightfully earned spotlight. he pushes amygdala out of the way and waits for the go-ahead.

poison ivy and the riddler look confused and disturbed, then whisper to one another for a moment. they turn back toward him.

"didnt we already escort you off the premises like, half an hour ago?" the riddler asks.

"yeah, you weren't supposed to come back," poison ivy says. "that's the point of having henchmen take you out."

they argue about this for a while until joker is thrown out again. the public vote gives him a pitiful 1%.

after that, hes a laughing stock! nobody likes him! hes just the guy who couldnt take a hint even after he was kicked out of a building! he resigns in disgrace and moves to rural ohio where he becomes a gas station attendant. and THAT is how we get rid of the joker.

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poisonsword · 5 months

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Dark Heir spoilers ahead

I am genuinely curious right now on what James is thinking of Will right now. If he has his old memories, I need the full freaking story of what happened. like yooooooooooo Will looks like he's going to have breakdown soon. Sarcean had years of experience, I guess, age and wisdom to tackle something like this.

But Will is still someone who is young. Who had years and years of hurt and betrayal. Who ultimately just wanted to do good but was never truly seen for who he is. I think this will severely affect him in the next book and I could already predict how much I'm gonna cry

We dont know the full story of the past and I'm really curious because there seems to be more than meets the eye

#dark heir #will kempen

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lumagarden · 21 days

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DRS2 PT2 THEORIES

im prob Very wrong but i want to write my thoughts!!

here r the semi-obvious

- kai and bonzle will somehow be brought back

- i think this season arin will find our what sora did and then also get mad at wildfyre for keepinf hwr swcret (this is where it gets a little less likely: i think he’ll run off or something (?) and gwt in some trouble)

- we’ll probably find out abt kais vision

non-obvious and Are my theories

- COLE X GEO CANON 😁!! someone said someone was getting a boyfriend this season (and now i assume its pt2 or it was just a rumor and ir wont come true st all) and i hope… they kith…. but tbh jaya dont even kiss that often so. prob not

- i dont think jaya will meet Yet.. but i think one of the ninja will find jay

- i think MAYBW arin will be able to do spinjitsu on an object like consciously—by the end hopefully??

- i Kind of hope that lloyd kinda goes crazy looking for kai liks. rlly troubked by the grief n stuff

- one of the ninja WILL turn evil i know it and i want ro say jay gets found and manipulated by lord ras or someone and then joins him based on the s2 figurine leaks but IDK

- i fhink they’ll find pixal!!! it would make sense maybw. if not this next part def the next one

- perchance cole learns the rising dragon thingy??

- i think egalts going to die sorry if not this next part the next one but it makes more sense for it to be at the end of this season

- i also feel like if egalt DOES die we’ll get a full scene of what wildfyre saw in her vision bc it wasnt like completwly touched upon and hers and kais r the only ones we didnt see at all (hers was mentioned tho so idk)

- i think lloyds visions might predict like. the next season or somerhing… (and he’ll continue having visions) also something will happen w him and rhe source dragons IDK WHAT but something

this is just what i Want/dont want to happen

- PLEASE if wildfyre gets a boyfriend i will throw myself off a cliff im so serious. she does NOT need a bf (she needs a gf)

- *rocking back and forth in my straitjacket* lostshipping.. lostshipping…

- fully evil jay or arin/lloyd sorry yall

- one of them have to put on the masks and turn fully evil I NEED IT i got a taste of it from pt1 and it wasnt ENOUGH

- this is unrelated to the show kind of but if lego doesnt release a mr frohicky plush i will go to the headquarters and ask for it myself

thats all i got thank u for reading

#ninjago #ninjago spoilers #dragons rising spoilers #ninjago dragons rising s2 spoilers #dragons rising s2 #dragons rising s2 spoilers #ninjago theory #i was going to post this the night it came out but i forgot about it #was looking through my drafts and finished it tho #luma talks

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astranite · 2 months

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*grumble rant mostly complaining in a big block paragraph chucked out to the void* executive dysfunction issues feel so ridiculous because even when i know exactly what step i need to do next— read the articles for uni essay. Why i need to do it— so i have a base from which to figure out a thesis (look that might cause problems in What am i arguing, but thats a solvable issue if i can focus enough to fix it) to do the rest of the next steps. And how— i have no trouble reading or analysing complex texts. None of that fixes the Cannot Concentrate problem. The articles arent even boring and i like learning new things and im the sort of person know to literally read random bits of textbooks for fun. And i Want to do it. Because i like reading and writing and analysing stuff even above it being important for uni work. But ive spent the afternoon scrolling tumblr, checked my email thrice, left bite marks on my good pen, and literally stared at a blank wall rather than read the article on my screen even when i put away the aforementioned tumblr so now i want to scream. And it makes it difficult to ask for help because people assume its one of the other problems as they aren’t familiar with brain literally wont do it. And being “”clever”” doesnt help (even putting aside the frustrating fact that I couldve done this at 15 and done well and wouldve liked it) because its an entirely different thing (uncannily good pattern recognition and Details and long term memory for facts lead to analytical skills because everything ever is a giant interconnected web, but to focus they do not.) And the classic advice of ‘dont be a perfectionist’ which somehow people also go to isn’t actually what is happening here. The reason things are either in a not even submittable note or its living in my head stage or straight up noting then completed to high level (typos and formatting editing aside as at the last minute those are predictably first to go in the calculation of time to marks) is because the gap of executive function between nothing and even done at all is very large but the subsequent gap between done and done well is limited. My very particular flavour of autistic adhd coming through yet?

So hence rather frustrated especially as here i am trying to do the responsible thing of not starting at the last minute because the research alone will Take Time. And given its the final essay I would prefer not to entirely fuck it up. But ah well, so it will begin again trying tomorrow. Probably is character development that im going to Go On A Walk instead of continuing to bang my head against it.

If anyone read this far ✨Welcome to my brain✨

#astra stuff #yelling into the void as opposed to letting this be another diary entry of a post draft

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blazethecheeto · 4 months

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ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

#the atlas six #the atlas paradox #fandom rant #long post #jesus HOW MANY WORDS WAS THIS #this was long #parisa kamali #libby rhodes #nico de varona #reina mori #tristain caine #atlas blakely #callum nova #nicogideon #reina x parisa #tas #my faves #mine

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oaxleaf · 2 months

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as promised: s4 retrospective now that the finale is out.

season four is easily the most similar to season one. even the finales are similar. that's good, narratively. it's easy to get carried away with a story, especially one with any level of audience control, so it's reassuring to get confirmation that all of this ties back to the beginning. it also opens up a lot of opportunities for seasons five and six. really, season four is just season one, but arthur knows what the fuck is going on and he and john don't have the most scathing arguments you've ever heard every other episode, and although seasons two and three did a lot of visible character development for the two of them, season four shows the actual result and proof of that development. i know that i predicted a major blow-out between them because only a couple of episodes in i felt they were getting along a little too well. but i was proved wrong! it would have been easy to set up an argument between john and arthur after it's revealed he's lied to him, but i'm glad it didn't happen, and i hope it's not going to, because i do think this was the season that properly established that they are beyond that cycle of vicious arguments.

on individual levels they've also developed a lot. john is, for plot reasons of course, kinda vague through-out the season, but i like that with his increasing humanity he's also gained traits of jealousy and petulance. although with the revelation of his being stuck in dark world, there'll be some real interesting character exploration to do next season. john also got to do a bit more interaction towards the end of this season. i think i've always been partial to arthur because he has more relationship anchors in his life (even if most of them are dead) and i like looking at a character through the lense of how they interact with others. and so far, john's mostly only had arthur to play off of. meanwhile, arthur hitting rock bottom, first in part 26 and then in part 31, really did a lot for him too. him making up with daniel and reaching out to help oscar was heartwarming, i guess, but most importantly it showed how he's determined to actually do something to be a better person and not just wallow in guilt and self-blame. still doesn't change that almost everybody he cares about dies or dissapears, but hey. it's good development.

on a personal level? i'm kinda meh on the season. i was on season one too, so that's not a surprise. it's less to do with the actual writing or narrative and more that i dont care much for fetch-quests or detective stories or, to be honest, plot in general. i like malevolent for it's character aspects. it's my personal indulge to be emotionally punched in the gut by this show. and obviously a story needs to have a plot, and i'm not saying i have issues with the show. just that so far nothing has been able to dethrone season two yet, lol.

let's talk about that finale, then. it's really amazing how kayne dominates with his presence whenever he's there, even if this only, what? like the fourth time? that we see him. i always want to get more kayne, but these occasional doses are really perfect for him. he needs to keep that veneer of mystery and insanity, and he needs to mostly be stagnant in his personality, i think, even if his motivations are unravelled. it's what makes him so entrancing whenever he appears on screen (in ear?). so i hope we don't get too much of him next season, even if he's the one setting up whatever happens next. and speaking of what happens next? an advantage to tying up a lot of old threads this season is that i have very little idea of what season five will be about. jesus fuck am i excited though, though!

#i'm really happy with this finale!#part 31 is still my favourite of the season #it just enchants me and engages in what really draws me to this show #but this was a stron narrative point i think #malevolent #malevolent 40

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demadogs · 1 year

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would love to hear more about your S5 Mike arc take

HELL YES!!! happy to share!!!! so some of these are genuine predictions with evidence from what ive seen in the show, but some of it is more of a fanficy kinda vibe of scenarios that are plausible but not influenced by genuine predictions i have. for those that i am confident in, i will link my posts explaining the evidence that supports my prediction. the first few parts are more genuine predictions and the later parts are just my brain making shit up.

also this isnt gonna be one of my “why i think this will happen” posts, im just going to write out mikes entire s5 story arc the way i see it in my head.

how it starts

so s5 starts out where we left off. mike and el still together but a little distant. theyre not fighting or anything but theyre not anything like s3 when they were constantly ditching their friends to makeout. people around them dont see an issue in their relationship but they both know its not what either of them want. (if youve read carry on i see them as how agatha and simon were portrayed at the beginning of the book).

the byers need housing back in hawkins and el wants to stay with hopper in his trailer while they work to fix up the cabin. the rest of the byers stay at the wheelers. jonathans sleeping in nancys room and will is sleeping in mikes.

mike and will have a couple more moments like we saw in s4 that could make it obvious that something might be up with both of them. maybe a conversation similar to the “hawkins isnt the same without you” scene. a scene of them both getting ready for bed talking about what they think is gonna happen next with vecna and everything. not the first night, but eventually maybe mike tells him to sleep in bed with him if will has a nightmare or something. little things like that.

the supernatural plot escalates and will and vecna have a deeper connection than anyone else. vecna is going to torture will in some way so im thinking maybe one of vecna’s methods of torturing will is to torture mike. vecna and will would have different interactions and conflict but mike would be vecna’d in the same style that max was.

how the audience and el learn mike is gay:

(this ones a genuine prediction. heres a post talking about why i think so but read it after you read this)

so now mike is cursed. no one knows including mike. everyones so caught up on protecting will because they all believe he is in the most danger so no one is looking after mike. then mike falls into that trance. (this is maybe 4 episodes in.) the whole partys there when it happens. el immediately puts on a blindfold and static noise and tries to piggyback into mikes mind to fight vecna the way she did with max.

mike doesnt know el is there while hes tranced. he doesnt see el the way max did. maybe el tries to touch him and mike feels a weird phantom feeling on his arm and he looks at it in confusion but he doesnt see el at all.

mike is in the mind lair and hes calling for will. he hears vecnas voice saying his full name. then he sees vecna and he starts saying shit about “friends dont lie” hes asking what happened to that motto and wasnt he the one who insisted that friends dont lie in the first place? “but youve been lying to everyone havent you michael”.

mike is shaking his head and vecna has him cornered and hes denying it but obviously terrified and he says he doesnt know what hes talking about and vecna says “you know exactly what im talking about. its not my fault you dont like girls”. and THATS the line that reveals to the audience that hes gay.

then maybe mike is able to run away but then he starts seeing shit. he ends up in his own basement and sees will and believes hes out of the trance and hugs will but he shrugs him off and tells him “dont touch me”. his eyes are all wrong and hes realizing hes not awake yet. vecna will starts calling him out on his feelings, telling him he would never love him back, that he doesnt even wanna be friends anymore. mike runs away and he just keeps seeing visions like this of everyone he loves. his family not accepting him. his friends not accepting him. el being mad at him for lying.

we are seeing els reactions to all of this too. shes been trying to use her powers to stop vecna this whole time. eventually in her pov everything goes completely black and shes in that weird void thing meaning that mike must be out of the trance. she hears mike panting and crying and takes off her blindfold and sees him awake with will holding his hand or shoulder and him looking at the ground.

eventually he looks up and sees el and at first his face doesnt change but then he sees her holding the blindfold and a pile of tissues with blood on them next to her and he connects the dots and starts to panic. will tries to reassuringly tell him that el was piggybacking trying to save him not realizing thats why hes freaking out. el says his name and tries to calm him down but he just gets up and locks himself alone in a room.

little pause for a second… listen. MIKE IS OVERDUE FOR A FULL ON PANIC ATTACK OK!!!!! we see will express his emotions every single season!! the last time we saw mike completely break down was in s2 when he was yelling at hopper. ever since then hes been trying so hard to bury his feelings and be someone hes not and make sure NO ONE finds out about him and now hes been outed to his girlfriend. he would completely break down. like full on sobbing, maybe throwing up. I WANT HIM TO EXPRESS EMOTIONS EVEN IF THEYRE TERRIBLE ONES!!!!!

el and mikes final breakup/ mikes first coming out:

mike is having a full on panic attack. hes on the floor crying and el is outside of it. he locked the door but el needs to see him so she tells him shes coming in and she uses her powers and opens the door. she closes it and sits next to mike on the floor. at this point hes silently crying and his hands are shaking but hes not as bad he was a few minutes ago. theyre both silent for a bit. mike speaks first and he whispers “did you see all of it?” el says yes.

mike starts to cry more and just starts apologizing profusely and el stops him by just pulling him into tight hug and he hugs her back for a long time. he starts telling her that he never wanted to hurt her. el tries to tell him shes not hurt right now but mike argues and tells her that hes hurt her so much in the past. he tells her that he made her feel like she was unlovable and that she was the issue when he knew deep down that it was him. that there was something fundamentally wrong with him. el tries to tell him theres nothing wrong with him but he insists that there is.

then el admits that she doesnt think she ever was truly in love with him either. she tells him that they both were just trying to do what everyone expected them to do. she didnt know any better because she had just left the lab and was still figuring out how to be a person, let alone a girlfriend. and people expected mike to like her just because she was a girl so he just went with it even after he realized he didnt feel that way. neither of them have ever been true to themselves for as long as theyve known each other. she tells him that he taught her what a friend was. and she missed her friend mike and wants to go back to that. mike tells her he wants that too and they hug again. (i want this scene to be the sweetest most wholesome breakup ever).

theyd also have a conversation of el being confused on whats wrong with him liking a boy. i think it would be really beneficial for mike to hear from someone who was never taught to hate people like him. it would give him so much relief to see potentially the number one person he never wanted to know just be absolutely baffled on why its a bad thing.

while theyre still hugging el says “for what its worth i think he likes you back” mike denies it and el insists that the way he looks at him says everything but mike wont even listen hes convinced he could never love him back.

then mike remembers something and asks a question. “what about the painting?”. els confused. she asks what hes talking about he tells her that will said she commissioned him a painting for her. “if you really didnt love me then whyd you have will paint me that?” she tells him she never told will to paint anything. mike is confused and telling her everything will said in the van. that he gives her the courage to fight on and he needs her. he asks what all that was about if she didnt feel that way and shes just confused. “he wouldnt even show me what he was working on. i told you i thought it was for someone he likes.”

“but it was for me.” el smiles and mike is still not convinced but hes kinda going crazy.

so now mike and el are broken up in the most wholesome way ever and theyre on better terms than theyve ever been but everyone thinks theyre still together. and mike for the first time thinks theres a chance will loves him back and he doesnt know how to act or ask him about it.

mike and will in the upside down:

(the only thing that led me to believe mike and will would be stuck in the upside down together was the upside down couch they sat on in the cabin. other than that this is entirely just what my brain came up with, not an actual prediction)

so skipping ahead, the vecna/upside down plot is getting spicier. shits going down. honestly im WAY better at imagining/predicting gay plots than scifi plots so i have no fucking clue whats going on with vecna and shit its just wild rn thats all you need to know.

i imagine almost all of them having to be in the upside down for some reason. then theres a scenario with some kinda monster like a demodog where they have to sprint to the gate back to real hawkins to be safe but the gate is closing back up. it would look like max’s running up that hill scene. theyre all getting closer and closer but then mike falls (classic) and will sees and goes back to him. the gate is closing more. he helps him up and they both start sprinting again but they dont make it. the whole gate closes up right when they get there and now theyre completely separated from all the friends and family and are alone in the upside down.

theyre able to defeat whatever was after them (will with a gun 👀) but now theyre stuck. maybe they get in a little argument where mike says “i told you to go on without me!!” and wills like “you think i would just leave you here!!!???” they both sit down against the wall the gate was on (like a brick wall or something). they try to come up with a plan and will brings up that maybe el help them some way and he mentions her being mikes girlfriend and mike tells him they broke up. wills very surprised about this. he asks if hes ok and mike tells him its better this way and he means it. (its now been a couple days since they broke up). they hear distant sounds of a monster and tells mike they shouldnt be here. theyre too exposed. (keep in mind mike is being kinda awkward because hes still thinking about the painting and what will said in the van that day and wondering if el was right and that will does love him back but he hasnt brought it up to him yet.)

they get up and make their way to the upside down wheelers house. they enter through the basement and its the same that it looked the day will went missing. the table is set up with the dnd campaign they were playing on november 6th 1983. mike tries to get comfortable on the couch but will just cant stop looking at the table. then he sees the dice on the floor with a 7 pointed up and they flashback to s1 of will telling mike it was a 7.

mike says his name and will remembers hes there and kinda startles and mike asks if hes okay and he just tells him that its just weird seeing everything from that day again. mike agrees. they get more quiet and tense thinking about that night will went missing.

mike brings up that they never finished the campaign. that he was begging his mom for the him and lucas and dustin to stay for 20 more minutes. he tells will he wonders if everything wouldve been different if he had stay. if vecna wouldve grabbed some other kid and they wouldve never known about this other world beneath them.

theyre thinking about that first night will went missing and mike asks if wills ok being back here again. he tells him its not as bad this time around because hes not alone. mike starts to get emotional thinking about when will was missing and he opens up to will about it. he tells him about how they all were there at the quarry when they found his “body”. will didnt know they were all there. he tells him that it was the worst night of his life because he thought he lost him forever. then he goes into talking about when the mindflayer had him and he thought he was losing him again, and then how will moved away. hes starting to cry because he has a deep fear of losing will for good and hes at a huge risk with vecna right now and hes so scared something will happen to him. will reassures him and tells him “im right here” and mike is silently crying and will just pulls him into a hug and they stay hugging for a long time. will tells him “im not going anywhere” while still hugging him.

they separate from the hug but still have their arms around each other and dont let go. its kinda awkward. mike is the one making it awkward. he looks like he wants to say something but isnt and is looking wills lips a lot and theyre so close to each other. will thinks he knows what hes thinking but doesnt dare say anything to ruin it so he just lightly nods his head as if to give mike permission if whats hes thinking is true. and then mike leans in and kisses him.

(IT HAS TO BE A SOFT TENDER KISS I DONT LIKE ALL THE MAKEOUT SESSION HEADCANONS I JUST WANT IT TO BE SWEET!!!!)

mike pulls back and at first he looks like hes about to panic but wills just looking at him with the biggest smile and it immediately puts him at ease. mike says “the painting was from you” and will doesnt know what hes talking about at first so mike continues “you said it was from el but it was from you” will confirms that it was. “and everything you said after…” “yes it was all from me” and mike kisses him again. (i also am imagining this as like the second to last episode)

(another more dramatic first kiss i have in mind is during a huge supernatural conflict and its just them and they completely believe theres no way theyre making it out alive and will is telling him that this is it and mike just kisses him right before all hell breaks loose)

post kiss byler

but of course we cant have nice things right away so theres a bit more angst before theyre a completely established couple. they fall asleep on the couch together in the upside down and in the morning they wake up and something chaotic upsidedown related is happening. again, i truly cannot even begin to guess/predict any of the actual scifi plot of the show so dont ask me what this is but its SOMETHING OK.

they dont even have time to acknowledge the kiss the night before or the fact that they woke up in each others arms. they have to fight whatever the conflict is in the upside down.

eventually they are able to escape the upside down and reunite with everyone. once theyre back with all their friends and family but mikes acting a little different again. hes shutting will out again and will is so confused.

(this is loosely inspired by the show the wilds. shelby whos very closeted and comes from an extremely homophobic family is on a deserted island with a bunch of girls and she falls for one of them whos out and she basically tells her “youre FREE here you dont have all that family trauma youre literally on a deserted island” so she kisses her. then later she sees a boat in the distance and she hesitates to make a signal with the fire because shes so scared to go back to her normal life with her homophobic family. mike is kinda experiencing that here. hes back in the “normal” world and is going back to trying to be who they want him to be, not who he just was with will.)

mike is kind of ignoring will when theyre around everyone. he deliberately doesnt sit next to him, he only talks to him when will talks first, hes basically scared that everyone can tell what they did. then will finally finds him alone and talks to him. at first hes hopeful and trying to be kinda flirty and make him laugh and mike barely has a reaction and then will confronts him.

“did that kiss mean nothing to you” mike immediately looks up from what hes doing and makes sure no one else is in the room and will notices. “what?” will tells him hes been different since they got back and hes acting like nothing happened and hes barely acting like theyre friends let alone anything more. and theyre both silent and will says “are we anything more?” and mike thinks before he speaks and then tells him that he did that in a world where there were no other humans. no laws, no expectations, no people to say that what they did was wrong. “thats not the case here.” and will gets mad at this and says something like “so what are you just gonna drop everything and be what everyone else says you should be?” mike doesnt answer and then will asks again “did it mean nothing to you?” and then theyre interrupted before mike could answer.

then later maybe the same day, mike is going somewhere to tell one of the older kids something or to get something related to what their big battle plan is and he sees robin and vickie through a window in a different room kissing and being super happy and flirty with each other. he stops in his tracks and just watches them and hes in total shock because he felt like there was no one like him his whole life and people like him couldnt be as happy as what hes seeing right now. he just continues watching them laugh while holding each other. i also think it would be great if steve was also there and he sees this former asshole douche being supportive of his best friend and letting them just be themselves so freely. he starts to tear up watching them. (this ones inspired by the book i’ll give you the sun this exact scene happens at a party).

that night mike and will are getting ready to go to bed in mikes room again not talking. will gets ready to sleep on the floor, a set back from when they were sleeping in the same bed. the lights are off and wills pretending to try to fall asleep and then mike whispers “it didnt mean nothing.” will turns and face mikes bed and then mike asks him to come up and will hesitantly joins him and mike sits up and faces him.

then this is potentially mikes most venerable scene in the whole show. he tells will absolutely everything. that when he and el moved he realized he was missing him the way he shouldve been missing el and it gave him the worst panic attack of his life when he figured out why. he stopped caring about himself and everything and everyone. he hated who he was. he didnt have the energy to hang out with his friends, to do his hw, to clean his room, to shower, to eat, and he stopped calling will. he just stopped doing everything. but what he continued to do was keep his relationship with el, and the more he did it the more guilty he felt. he didnt want to break up through a letter but he also didnt have the guts to do it in california and then when el confronted him about never saying he loves her he felt so much worse. he wanted nothing more than to actually love her. he hated that he loved will instead.

he tells will that he remembers how his dad would act when he went to wills house as a kid. how they overheard lonnie talking to joyce about them being “too close” one time and neither of them quite knew what he meant by that until later. he has so many little moments like this in his life of people letting him know that its wrong. that he is wrong. and he never ever thought will would be the same way and he never thought any boy could feel that way about him. mike whispers “i just want to be normal” and will says “since when are our lives normal?” and mike kinda laughs but hes also crying. wills holding his hands and tells him “mike, youve been through so much worse than being in love.” and then mike kisses him again!!! yes they have to kiss at least twice this is my mike arc and i make the rules. i could be more detailed in this whole scene but this has been in my drafts for weeks and i need to finally post it.

established byler/mike coming out:

then i really want mike to have a coming out scene with nancy or his mom but honestly id prefer nancy. i just think theres such a lack of wheeler sibling content and id really love if there was a scene like will and jonathan but for mike and nancy. i imagine them both being in the car on their way to somewhere related to the scifi plot and mike tells her that he and el broke up and they talk about that for a bit. and nancy asks if hes happy and mike says yes. and then mike starts to tell her why hes happy and eventually comes out to her but hes still terrified as hes doing it nancy pulls over just to hug him and its very emotional and sweet.

i also really want a scene of them coming out to the party but honestly im not sure if they will just because now there will have to be like 3 coming out scenes already. they might do the party instead of nancy or karen which id be ok with but they also might skip ahead and have them both already be out.

during the epilogue-ish scene they usually have at the end of a season after the supernatural plot has died i want another sweet byler scene. i love the concept of them going to prom with the whole party as a group but just mike and will find their own room to dance in and be themselves and feel safe. i need some fluff before the season ends.

AND THATS IT I DID IT IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO FUCKING LONG!!!!!

#this is whats been living in my brain for months #this whole thing #i love taking inspo from other shows and books and making it byler #byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #eden answers #byler predictions

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