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habeascorpseus · 6 months

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thinks about "you would kill me?" "i would kill for you. never you," and cellbit's love language being destruction.

thinks about how cellbit will go to any length of self destruction for those he loves. thinks about him not sleeping for months, drinking coffee obsessively, until he's eventually too tired even to boil it and thus begins resorting to eating coffee beans, so he could keep himself sane. thinks about cellbit running from a bear with a chainsaw, and being forced to talk to him as a subordinate for months afterwards. thinks about him pushing people away so theyd let him destroy himself for the federation, unsure if the information he gathered would even be worth it. thinks about the slow death of the self, how much time one can spend running before they collapse from exhaustion, the love in demanding your family eat your corpse.

and then... thinks about outward destruction. thinks about broken trust in the form of an unusable xp machine. thinks about broken hearts in the form of custody battles. corpses with ciphers scribbled in blood left for long lost sisters who don't get it, not yet. badboyhalo describes cellbit pulling a knife on someone when he jokingly asks him to as less personal, and more like a dog being told to play fetch. thinks about him plunging into ravines and caves to kill bad's enemies as bad followed behind, being the first of them to die for bad's victory. thinks about "keep your hands clean." cats bring their owners dead birds out of concern for them being fed, cellbit brings enigmas and bodies because it's all the damage he can do. in a life shaped by violence, how else do you show loyalty than through a willingness to hunt for those who arent strong enough, to kill unthinkingly when they ask? it terrifies his family, but it's all he has left to give.

there are so many parallels between felps' kidnapping arc and the current one. the difference is in how many people are also at their breaking point and couldn't afford to see their rock crumbling. cellbit's mind was the bright light for every damn person on the server who had questions, and at this point, that number is all of them. and no matter where he looks, how much he wants to save them, there are no answers. there is no satisfying conclusion. if only he could go home at night and sleep soundly without thinking about the evidence of his failure to protect anyone resting beneath his feet. there are only more dead ends, more wheels, more humiliation, more degradation of his sanity as he's unable to sleep. his family has been picked off and the remainder have picked apart his corpse to scraps of marrow and flesh and are still starving, too terrified to hunt for themselves. what a blessing that cellbit's hands are already bloodied, and he's angry enough to tear apart the wardens for them to feast.

#habeas speaks #qsmp cellbit #cellbit #i have so many thoughts on autocannibalism and love #i have even more thoughts on death as a love language #evidently there are people who dont share the same Romanticism but it's what he's good at and all he can do #and at the very least they will keep their hands clean for now #the see you on the battlefield kind of shows how frustrated he is in feeling like his anger is solitary #after months of hunting you might as well start feeding him back you cant rely on his anger to burn incessantly #sorry. im abnormal about him

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thoughts-of-a-caterpillar · 11 months

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#i wrote smth heheheheh #i hope they dont see this its gonna be kinda sorta hella embarrassing #cuz theyll know its about them #guddu writes #poetry #poets on tumblr #poets on desiblr #caterpillar.rbs #poetries #romanticism #love and death #love poetry #hozier esque poetry

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riddledem0n · 2 months

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I'm just so scared man

#tw death #i guess #i feel like im dying #theres so much wrong w my body lately #im so scared i wont wake up one day #please let this b a sign for anyone struggling w ED's how dangerous this shit is #ion wanna see amyone romanticize this shit #idk what to do #am i giving up or not i dont know #i camt give up #i have a future dont I #with my partner and stuff #but what if i wont make it out of this one #tw ed #tw ed descussion

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minamotoz · 11 months

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i've already said my piece on why saad is easily the most interesting "brooding mysterious boy with an artsy passion" type character degrassi has ever done, but im honestly so sad they never tried to go deeper into his relationship with maya. the way the two of them fed off of each others trauma and sorta made each other worse while engaging in this morbid coping mechanism was so interesting to watch and i kinda wish we got to see it fester more in the background, if not get the same amount of focus as a plotline like the mola romance. idk, i found their chemistry addicting and i feel cheated bc they only showed up in a handful of episodes and never interacted after season 3.

#degrassi #this isnt a shipping post i dont ship saad with maya at all #i just think their dynamic was engaging as hell #i love how this coping mechanism the two of them had (photography for saad and playing dead for maya)#warped into something sorta twisted. mainly for maya #her becoming desensitized to death and romanticizing it made her sorta disconnected to the reality of death #which came to a head when grace (someone who is actually basically dying) walks in on their photoshoot #and maya brushes her off when grace is rightfully uncomfortable #also how saads morbid interest in taking pictures of maya playing dead is #basically him trying to cope with the trauma he experienced back in syria #and how hes likely become desensitized to horrific things as well #these two traumatized kids with experiences with death coming together and bonding over it #while also feeding off of each others trauma. I DUNNO i find it very interesting #i just love these two characters a whole lot and this was WILDLY underdeveloped for my liking

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largeballz · 2 years

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something very particular about getting into an artists work after their death

#dont wanna say im upholding the legacy or anything because im truly a drop in the ocean #but it adds a layer of retrospect to their work #thats not to celebrate or romanticize their deaths or anything either btw. just adds an extra indescribable feeling #like a song titled 'i hate myself and want to die' can have a bit of a different interpretation after hes gone #this is mainly about amy winehouse btw.

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thisgodwontforgiveyou · 1 year

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okay no the worst part of ultra misogynistic male power fantasies in modern fandom media is that its literally mostly straight women who are into it at this point

#and not even in like the horrible romanticizing being a victim of a male power fantasy way theyre l;iterally juts doing the fucking #thing of sitting there quaking with rage that they dont get to abuse women the way men can #well if the anime conveys makima even remotely accurately to the source material thatll cause several hundred deaths amongst that sorta guy #so at least i have that to look forward to

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zemnarihah · 9 months

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i got pulled over and i have to go to court i think

#she came up and i was shitting myself and then she was like just letting you know you have a tail light out:) and i was so relieved and then #she asked for my license and then she came back and was like so your registration is super expired and im giving you a citation. and you #have to call this number #and theres no fine listed but like. i think i literally have to go to court. and theyre definitely giving me a fine there right? idk i #looked it up and i think the lowest i could possibly get is 200 dollars but it could be like a thousand.#it literally says that if i dont call they will issue a warrant for my arrest how fucking insane is that #the cop had a tattoo on her arm that said 'ill keep you safe' keep me safe from what my big bad expired registration #keep me safe from having a good day. or having a savings account. cool thanks #do you think if i like. fake my death and name her in a suicide note and like put in it that my last wish is for someone to tell her it was #her fault. that would probably sufficiently emotionally scar her right #also im kind of worried abt my job i think they did background checks when i got hired and idk if this is smth that would effect it but lik #its not just a ticket i think its literally a crime. like i think i have a record now and i dont know if im allowed to HAVE that at my job #im probably just doom spiraling ik but like.#i just feel so STUPID like i knew it was expired i just keep forgetting and putting it off and oh ill try and do it in the next couple week #and ive been doing that for MONTHS #but also WHY is it that serious who CARES if a vehicle is registered. does it literally matter at all like genuinely how could it effect ou #society. like how am i harming anyone.#whatever. im an outlaw. ive been watching cowboy movies and romanticizing outlaws so i guess this is what i get. im an outlaw and i am goin #to go register my car.

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inkskinned · 11 months

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im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

#i hope you are okay #i wish i could help more #i hope the pain eases soon #and i hope that you stay #ps . to those of you reading this thinking i should help you too: please just dm me #it makes me really #really really scared when it's anonymous #bc i cant check in with u #i am not a professional and i am not actually good at helping ppl through their troubles #this is an exception bc they are 16 #not the rule #ps if u misunderstand ''being a teenager is the hardest thing i ever did'' when i mention briefly that i was in unsafe housing...#trust me. it was worse there. by like A HUGE margin #every person raised in unsafe housing nodding their head like . oh yeah worse stuff TECHNICALLY happened after but leaving that home was #legit the hardest thing i ever did

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cosmicheartz · 2 years

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bc @dead-dove-dolly decided to block after responding to me after i blocked them im just going to leave a message here

one. don't you fucking dare try to compare terfs to people not agreeing proshippers. I've literally stated time and time again that i don't agree with Anti's actions.

two. when you say therapists encourage you to do this i dont think they mean making dedicated tumblr blogs to being a proshipper and publicly posting abt it. theres a huge fucking difference between using this to cope ( even though i think its an unhealthy coping mechanism ) in private or between a small group and making a public tumblr blog dedicated to being a proshipper.

three. there's a thing called unhealthy coping mechanisms.

#this is the last time im responding them bc im tired #i dont like most antis and think the ones that are super hardcore to the point of death threats and constantly posting abt it #are legit terrifying #but that doesnt mean that i think ppl romanticizing pedophila and incest are in the right #like at this point idc if you do that shit in private or in a small group #the issue is when you post that shit online #cosmic discourse #cosmic rantz

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masturbucky · 1 year

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The Intruder

DARK!Winter Soldier x fem!reader

Summary: You had issues with sleeping for the past two weeks. You wake up every night and you swear you can feel someone's staring from the shadows, but there's no one, and you know it's your imagination. Sometimes you feel touches. When you're tired of your mind tricks, you start taking those sleeping pills. It's good for you, and for the man who watches your sleep every night, too. But you dont need to know that. You need to sleep.

WARNINGS: DARK REALLY DARK PLEASE BE AWARE(!!!), Smut, Somnophilia, NON-CONSENSUAL EVERYTHING, AGAIN IT'S A FUCKING RAPE, Obsessive behavior, unprotected p in v, WS basically romanticizes from his sick point what he does to you, no y/n, literally NO comfort, creampie, marking, a bit of knife play(he tears your shirt off and touches you with a knife a bit), a lot of mentions of death by WS, choke kink if you squint, dacryphilia if you squint, what else? ENGLISH IS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE! Also I kinda forgot to post it when I finished it and so i remembered only like an hour ago, changed some stuff a bit, but grammar errors are still on the table yk. Also, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU READ. I'M NOT YOUR DADDY I CAN'T TELL YOU SHIT, I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A MINOR, IT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

You sigh, dropping your bag on the couch while slipping out of your shoes on the way to the kitchen. It's a living hell, you think.

Two fucking weeks you can't sleep. You wake up every night, a several times at least, with a fucking panic attack, or in a sleep paralysis, or whatever the fuck it is — you don't know, you don't care, you just want it to stop.

The thing is, you're going insane.

Every night the reason you wake up is this feeling of someone's eyes on you. Someone's staring at you, from the shadowed corner of your room, every night and it doesn't stop. At first you weren't brave enough to look. On the thrid night you said fuck it and turned the light on, looking around. No one, nothing, no trace of anyone's presence. The fuck you expected to see? The windows were closed, same goes to the door — you checked, three times and one more to be sure — and you were honestly confused and tired enough to get back to sleep. Only for the same thing to happen the following night. And the next one. And again, and again, and again.

You changed locks. Better safe than sorry, you know?

It didn't helped. You still feel watched every night.

Sometimes YOU SWEAR you could feel lingering touches on your body. Cold or warm.

Again, you're going insane.

You bought a fucking camera and installed it in your bedroom under the ceiling just to find your sleepy self and your scared to hell awake self, walking around and searching for the fucking intruder, on it in the morning.

You tried to invite your friends over for the night, but — what am I, a fucking joke? — they all laughed at you, when you told your story. Fuck them, really, you should consider searching for new friends.

You decided to go to the therapist your friend (the only one who, thankfully, didn't laughed with the rest, but still brushed you off) recommended you. The point is, you'll have to wait a month to get an appointment in their busy schedule. You ain't gonna wait so long, you need to sleep for fuck's sake.

That's being said, here you are. Reading an instruction list to Flurazepam, which is like a fucking blanket itself, and grinning like an idiot, excited. Fuck your brain really, fuck it's dumb imagination, fuck the imaginary intruder! You need your sleep and you'll get your sleep, thanks to medicine!

Tonight you eat, shower, read your evening book and get to bed happily, excited to finally get some sleep. Maybe you take a bit more Flurazepam than needed. Just in case, you know?

***

He entered your apartment the same way as always - it wasn't hard to steal your keys and make a copy. He's used to be unnoticed, they would've been disappointed if he was careless enough to let you know about his mere existence. So far, you're stupid enough not to look into details. Smart enough to try and change locks and install a camera, smart enough to show him that you're safe from everyone, but him.

He stops the recording of this damn camera before walking into your room. He solved this problem the first night you installed it. It's a nice kind of change, he must admit. Seeing you from different angle other than from cameras he installed before is nice, truly. Beautiful, clever and caring about his... needs, even without knowing about him. That's what makes you so divine.

Tonight... To be honest, he was waiting for this just as much as you. He was excited, even. For your sleep and his next move in your relationship, if he could call it that.

He takes his mask and glasses off, walking closer to your bed, to your sleeping, relaxed. Asleep, more calm than usual. Just like the first night. Your breath is soft, heartrate is slow, the pills you took obviously worked. You probably took a bit more than you should have, his dumb little thing you are.

He doesn't know how it all happened, to be honest.

What he knows is, he needs you. Badly. All the time, day and night, needs to see your beauty and he needs to be close to something as perfect as you. He thought they wiped everything that could've been even close to what he feels towards you, but apparently they only made it worse.

More likely they know where he disappears every night to. They know everything, and he noticed how much easier it became to sneak out. And if they know and let it be, then he's allowed to have this. Which probably gives them even more power over him.

But he doesn't care. As long as he can see his angel, as long as he can touch something as perfect as you are, he doesn't give a fuck about what else Hydra would make him do. Consider it done. Consider it dead.

He takes his gloves off, kneeling down beside your bed. Slides your blanket off your body, and takes a deep breath. You're in your usual clothes of choice — this tempting shirt, which he often can see your nipples through, which he allows himself to touch sometimes even, and a comfy pair of underwear. He doesn't know what other men usually consider sexy, but for him it is whatever you wear. Especially this pair of panties.

Brings his hand to your thigh, more confidently than usual strokes the smooth skin up, touching the soft material of your underwear and sliding under the warmth of your shirt, to your belly. He doesn't need to be careful now. You won't wake up anyway, you're too deep in your slumber, thanks to those pills.

He almost groans only at the feeling of your soft, warm skin under his fingertips. It's not often when he touches you UNDER your clothes. Too much of a risk, he never intended to wake you up. It would mean a too big step, he doesn't need you to put up a fight and resist too much. If so, he would have to hurt you. And take you away. He's not ready to do that just yet.

But now? Now he can at least do that much without rushing things into it's natural ending. He could have you now, he could taste you now, and then he would prepare to take you somewhere where he would do that as often as possible. He just has to be patient.

For now he could just leave you a message of who you belong to. A promise, of sorts.

The bed cracked under his weight loudly, thanks god you're so deep in your sleep, and the blade shines in the moonlight, so does the hand, the whole arm. Soldier knows that what he's about to do will break you. But a broken angel is still an angel, a fallen one is not.

However, he's very clear with his messages.

Your shirt goes first. The material breaks easily on a sharp knife, he uses it to kill after all, and he's devouring every second of it. He prays that it wont be possible to erase from his mind, just like it was with you, with his angel.

"Beautiful," He breathes out, his voice hoarse and his throat hurts. He hasn't talked in quite some time.

Your shirt is no longer on his way. And oh god, seeing your chest again makes him believe in heaven, whatever this is. When you'll be his, you won't be wearing any clothes at all. It will be his personal heaven.

"So beautiful..." He lowers the knife to your chest, tracing soft skin, nipples with the backside of it. He could so easily switch the side, he could leave a permanent mark on you, a reminder of your first night as his, but he wont. Not now, at least.

Then he lowers the blade to your underwear. Two simple cuts on either sides - and it's just as dysfunctional as the shirt. But he doesn't think you'll need them anyway, now. He might as well just... Take them, as a little reminder for himself? A promise.

He lifts your pretty legs up, resting them on his shoulders when he settles in between, and slides the thorn material from under you with his flesh arm. He wants to feel this. He wants to savor every touch.

Your panties are left in the pocket of his pants, and he returns his full attention to you. Only if you knew how beautiful you are right now, naked for him, ready for him. He would show you, one day. When you would be conscious and used to him, his presence, his touches. For now, this will do.

The knife is back in it's holder, and he lowers to your warm body. Hands slide up your waist to your tits, and the left one to your neck. Metal fingers trace the warm, delicate skin, pressing ever so slightly. The only time he really focuses on how much pressure he adds. Looks just perfect on you.

He can't wait anymore.

Right hand slides off your body to lower his pants, just enough to free his almost uncomfortable erection. He was so mesmerized by your beauty that he completely forgot about himself.

Leans back slightly, once again admiring the view. His angel, so perfect and peaceful, in her sleep. Your calm face, delicate neck, chest, your belly, legs and, a fucking paradise, your pussy. He can't see much, but he knows its perfect. He had seen it, many times, on the cameras. He also knows what you play with, and where you hide it. Lower drawer of your nightstand.

Soldat leaves a trail of open mouthed kisses on your neck, tasting your skin. It's his time to enjoy, his moment to savor, so he slides his hand down to your exposed to him — only him — heat. You're wet, just a bit. Enough for him, at least. Touching you is a privilege already.

Your legs are pushed up, over his thighs. He doesn't know if he wants to hurry up or take his time, it feels like he needs both. Contradictions became natural to him since he found you.

A deep breath. He lined himself up with your entrance, stroking himself slowly, just a bit. Smearing his precum over your clit and soft folds, enjoying the moment. It's so strange to be so overwhelmed. So excited. You make him feel things he didn't knew he was able to feel, and you have no clue. You will, eventually.

He pushes in slowly, groaning and almost cumming right away, holding himself back and biting on your neck. He takes a second to remind himself about how to breathe. Unbelievable. You feel like death. The best feeling ever, the only good feeling.

When he's fully in, he thinks that calling it a heaven would've been an understatement. Your insides around him are so much more.

When he pulls out to the tip and pushes back in, that's where he could've die happily.

You're so warm. So tight, squeezing his manhood just right. It's where he belonged, it's where he feels complete and forgiven. Your walls hug his dick perfectly, and he want's to stay in there until he fades away. And he wants more.

He's greedy when he starts moving. In and out, slowly at first, but getting faster — yes, he's greedy. He's guilty in more than greed, he doesn't care. With your pussy taking him so well, with your warm body under his hands, his lips, just under him — he doesn't care. It's all his, you're his.

Oh how he wants to hear more than those sweet whimpers from you.

He can imagine. His angel, you, under him, hands gripping on his arms, you'll be begging him for more and crying for him, clamping down on him so deliciously and needy. You'll be screaming — screaming the name he can't quite imagine, he can't remember, but he knows you'll be screaming it. One day.

He will take his time to praise you, to tell you how good you are for him, angel, taking all he can give, giving all you have. He will make sure you're shaking and breaking all over again on his cock, tears smeared all over your face and you're drooling with this fucked out look on your divine face-

Oh god, more. He needs more of you, he takes all he can take.

He will leave so much marks on your body, just like now, over your chest and your neck, while you'll be squeezing him inside and begging, begging for his seed-

He cums with a groan, slurred fuck left his lips, headboard of your bed cracks under his metal hand. Aftershock hit the Soldat hard. Right hand gripping on your hip, his breath is ragged and he barely remembers how to breath correctly — he knows this feeling well, but from the bad side. Now? It's euphoric. He doesn't want it to end, he wants to die right here and there, buried deep inside of your heat, with you taking his cum so well, his beautiful angel.

He opens his eyes after what feels like a blissful eternity, his gaze slowly focuses on you under him. He can hear your breath, hard and ragged, he can see a layer of sweat over your body. Small smile cracks on his face. Even in your sleep, you accepted him. You enjoyed it.

He doesn't want to pull out, but he does so anyway. He reminds himself that it's not the last time. He'll have enough chances to do it again with you, after all. He knows what to do. He knows how. He just needs to prepare it.

Soldat looks down, mesmerized by how his seed leaks out of you. There's so much, he has to resist the urge to push it back in. Or to lick it out.

You're so perfect, his beautiful angel. But he has to go.

On a second thought...

He reaches out to your nightstand, barely even looking up from your pretty cunt, still leaking with his cum. Grabs his mask and glasses. Puts both on quickly, then grabs the remote control of your camera from his pocket, and presses on.

After all, he should be very clear with his messages.

#x reader #dark fic #sebastian stan #bucky barnes x reader #winter solider x reader #winter soldier smut #dark!bucky x reader #non con #dark!winter soldier #dark!bucky smut #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you

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sayammm · 1 month

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a bit of a rant to some weird Farcille shippers (those who has read the manga. Anime onlies, I can understand) but it's absolutely funny and weird that they would intentionally reduce the whole point of the story and Marcille's character growth as just the "elf who wants to save her girlfriend"

No. Just no. I'm not saying there's no chemistry between Falin and Marcille. There is. The same way she has chemistry with Laios (this needs pointing out bc some weird Farcille fans are trying to convince Laimar fans that their ship is wrong. Yes, I've seen the convo on DunMesh discord, shut up) Marcille isn't just the "elf who wants to save Falin bc she is in love wih her". Marcille is the elf who wants to study how dungeons works blah blah blah because she has a dream. Because she has trauma and she wants to find the solution to what scares her the most. Marcille studied black magic for Falin

Wrong. Marcille studied that for her dreams.For her own goals. It so happens that what she knows is the solution in reviving Falin. It wasn't just specifically for Falin, per se. Marcille left the academy for Falin Wrong. Marcille left the academy to find Falin who went with Laios. This action is not exclusive to romantic love oh it's bc she's in love with her thing. Mikan of Alice Academy went after Hotaru, her bestfriend, after the latter left for the Academy. Marcille went after Falin to take her back, but the real reason why she decided to stay with the Touden siblings is because they showed her around the dungeon and she realized she can do a field study. Let's not forget that Laios being honest to her about the purpose of their dungeon dives convinced her to stay and study dungeons. Marcille only cried for Falin Bruh. Marcille is one fo the most expressive elf girl I've ever seen. She even threw a tantrum bc she doesn't want to eat monsters in the first episode. Open the manga again and look at the panels where Marcille has shed tears and snot for other characters, not just for Falin. Im not against Farcille because I really believe Marcille has chemistry with Falin. Plus, Trigger's scenes of Marcille smiling softly at Falin is such a nice boost for Farcille shippers.

But I absolute hate how some toxic Farcille fans are reducing someone's whole character into "lover girl". She's not just the elf who is inlove with Falin. She is the elf who will go to the extremes for her loved ones, and will make a deal with the devil bc she is scared of being left behind in the walk of life, and the elf girl who learned that death is a part of life and she has to accept that. Stop over romanticizing stuff to the point that you ignore the whole point of the series. I intentionally made some terms as vague as I can just to make sure I dont give out a lot of spoilers.

#ダンジョン飯 #farcille #dungeon meshi

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strykingback · 2 months

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Jaune Arc- The Most Horrendous Knight Ever. (Twin Revisions)

Silence My Minions!! Now as you know yesterday night I did a why Jaune is a horrible knight post and the what not. But today I deleted it cause some stans really just wanna say that he is "isnt a knight." but knight inspired. Aight. Aight! I might as well hop onto the rewriting post and use everything to my knowledge. Cause holy hell almighty this was giving me a headache.

and having me in my bed like:

"I know this motherfucker did not just cherry-pick my whole post"

So yes, I deleted and a few of my replies and decided to get some help for this one. By the way huge thank you @burgers-and-diatribe for giving me a helping hand on this one. Y'all go check'em out and giv'em a high five. Cause they were a huge help for this revision.

So without further ado. Lets get into it.

Now before hand we're just going to get into it a huge part of RWBY's characters whether it be extra, protagonist, or antagonistic characters are inspired by either Fairytale, Historical, or Mythological figures. This can also include the Romanticization of Fairytales as well.

Now Jaune Arc is based off the historically legendary female knight of the Hundred Years War. Joan of Arc. Who was well known for having been granted a vision by the Archangel, Michael to save France from British Domination. This would later on culminate into her arrival at Orleans and participating in major battles and even after her death it would pave the way for the French to claim victory in the Hundred Years War several decades later.

Jaune would immediately trip over and fall flat on his face cause he can't even hold a candle up to Joan of Arc. Because it would better fit the historical allusion if he:

His Semblance was based around seeing into the future Which despite Transitioning Into A Woman In Later Volumes or Being Born as A Woman and being called Jeanne. Having erratic visions of Fire, being related to Cinder and a possible future of her death or a battle that could lead to her death.

Possibly her death inspiring others or paving the way for a major victory.

At the same time, they dont allude to their historical counterparts unlike how Jaune does so. Instead they go for the Paladin route due to it being such a huge Dungeons and Dragons concept as he achieves Aura Amplification which is none other than the Lay On Hands ability minus the healing factor of its ability.

I know Jaune is a Fantasy Knight but at the same time in Volume Nine he is called the RUSTED KNIGHT. in which at that point he either is or inspired by the romanticized concepts of the Code of Chivalry.

Before I hop into this lets just get this out of the way

Real Life Knights =/= Fantasy Knights

This is because Real Life Knights are by far not the romanticized concepts that we read or watch in media. As Real Knights were just overall horrendous, cruel, and even lazy. This is because most knights that we know in real life were in fact noblemen born into knighthood beginning their training no less than the age of fifteen. Then made into a squire and then into a knight.

Now knights in our world pillaged, murder, or even did many more horrible things in order for their status to be seen during the Middle Ages. As there have been many many accounts of knights doing horrendous atrocities as well.

As one account during the Age of Chivalry (The 11th to the 12th Century) as a historian recounts Sir John Arundel and his band of knights taking refuge in a convent violating the Nuns and stealing from them and throwing them overboard once they were all but used up. Not to mention real knights would usually face off against other knights. Sometimes in duels to resolve petty conflicts, entertainment or in festivals as well.

As the book Chivalry in Medieval England by Nigel Saul states; "Knights only fought for three things. Land, Gold, and War Booty."

Now as for Fantasy Knights this is not applicable to their Real Life counterparts as they are no means perfect as well. But its once again those romanticized concepts of what we see knights as. Noble, Kind, Understanding and Powerful altogether.

Now do they follow the concepts of Code of Chivalry? Ehhhh. Maybe depending on the character(s) in media.

As some Fantasy Knights are either, Sellswords, Free Knights/Paladins, Servants to a Lord, King or Queen, or Baron. Hell or even just bandits.

Now there are only two accounts of the Code of Chivalry

Song of Roland’s Code of Chivalry:

Fear God and His Church Serve the liege lord in valor and faith Protect the weak and defenseless Live by honor and for glory Respect the honor of women

King Arthurs version of the Code of Chivalry:

Honor Honesty Loyalty Valor

Now in my last post I did say Jaune should have been following those concepts of chivalry and how he falls flat in some areas of it. Until I was corrected saying that I shouldnt be applying those especially with how "vague" it is for something that is from a romanticized fairytale. It was then when I realized that if Jaune were to be a true knight he would have swear fealty for a Lord or King to follow those Codes of Chivalric Faith.

Now can I not apply those things to Jaune. No.

But Can I make him to the point where he was inspired by the Codes of Chivalry. Since Rooster Teeth made Jaune as a fictional character following a real life concept (Aka the Romanticized Concepts of the Codes of Chivalry), such as Knighthood.

Also the fact that monarchs did exist in Ancient Remnant in Volume 6 which further cements the fact the knights existed and with Ozma/Ozpin being a knight during that time.

Its almost as if saying Robyn Hill isnt based off of the Romanticization of Robin Hood because this, this, and that. Or because it does not in exist in Remnant. Once again RWBY's characters are based off of Fairytales, Historical, or Mythological figures we know of IRL. and yes even Romanticized Fairytales can count as well.

Yes I know some people will come at me and call me a Jaune Hater just because me and many many others rag on him. But at the same time... I rooted for him to become better. And due to idiotic writing decisions from Miles Luna and making him into a Ron Stoppable, shoe horning him into important scenes and the like. It only made me hate him more. The

I Like Him For the Character He Could Have Become.

Instead he is a failure to live up to his historical allusion and even fails at being a knight/ paladin archetype.

TL;DR: Another revision on how I explain why Jaune fails at being a Joan of Arc Allusion and a Knight Allusion

#RWDE #//Okay Fucking hell this may be the last time I'll talk about Jaune #//Hell I wont even do anymore Jaune shit after this #//Cause I really wanna talk about Sun Wukong #//Or even Curious Cat

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gojoygr · 7 months

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i’m so fucking mad.

killing a character like gojo off screen when he gave his all in the previous chapters and now gege gave him an ass conclusion????? like, he could’ve been just sidelined by losing his CT or whatever

(we already knew that gojo was losing somehow.. but dying ????? and like that ????)

i’m still clinging to some theories.. i just don’t want to have my hopes way to high..

and for the shippers who are genuinely happy that he died and also romanticizing/sexualizing his fucking death bc of non-canon ship or just his person alone, y’all are losers and weirdos cuz this is just fucking disgusting/disturbing.

i dont know what to say anymore man.. this is so sick and twisted 😞

he deserved a better conclusion.

#jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #i hate gege so fucking much #im so sad #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #im still in denial #jjk leaks #jjk 236 #jjk #ryomen sukuna #fushiguro megumi #nanami kento #geto suguru #itadori yuuji #okkotsu yuuta #jujutsu satoru #jjk236 leaks #i hate gege

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autisticasgore · 6 days

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sorry but i will be FOREVER confused and annoyed at the way steven universe future was received as a show for its realistic portrayal of mental illness. i already loved steven as a character, and i saw so much of myself in steven, and it pissed me off so much when i saw armchair therapist-type people online calling it "unrealistic", that steven "never showed signs of trauma" (hello??? did we even watch the same show??) and that he was "acting out of character", and that the ending was cringey or unrealistic or bullshit or something

these are such insane criticisms to me because i felt so seen by su:f's portrayal of ptsd, and i've never felt the same way with other shows that portrayed ptsd. ptsd is different for everyone, obviously, but when you go through childhood trauma, sometimes you tend to look at your childhood through rose-colored glasses (literally, in steven's case), and when you gradually grow older and mature, you start realising that no, it wasn't all that rosy actually. even so, steven still displayed symptoms of ptsd even before steven universe future. what his character growth was throughout steven universe was also a child being forced to grow up quickly, to mature so he could handle traumatized space war veterans' emotions and forcing the diamonds to fix the mess they had caused, all at the age of around 12 to 14. all the while blaming himself. literally a line he says in season 2 is that he's used to dealing with life or death situations.

mental illness isn't fucking pretty. steven universe future isn't afraid to tackle the ugliness of it, and i think that's why people took such issue with it. im tired of ppl romanticizing mental illness. sometimes it DOES make you an asshole. eventually, when you spend so long being the nice, happy-go-lucky kid steven was, burying your emotions and pain for the sake of others, you begin to crack. and that's why i felt so seen in steven. because when i was dealing with my own ptsd, i was also a fucking asshole. i wasn't myself. i was angry at everyone and everything, including myself. i didn't want to deal with facing my own pain. i couldn't even watch some of the episodes because they hit too close to home, even for me.

but the biggest reason i love su:f so much is for its ending. i dont care if there wasn't some big corruption battle with steven's kaiju form, because to me, if they had fought him like they did with the diamonds and the corrupted gems, it would have reinforced his belief that he was a monster. he saw himself on the same level of the diamonds once he had shattered jasper (made only worse when she acknowledged him as 'her diamond'. ouch.) that group hug where they helped him to calm down, when steven broke down, got me, ok.

#pixie.txt #steven universe future #steven universe #i'm still in the midst of rewatching SU and i just- girl. ok. some of you really need to rewatch it tbh #the way the episodes were released played some part in people's frustration i think #but that was bc of production issues. CN screwed them over so many times i'd be surprised if they returned to them #anyway. steven universe. i love him. i want to be his friend #holds him gently in my hands

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