#i feel like everything would have been resolved so much sooner that way

[blue-slxt]

Kinkmas 6

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

A/N: I love love loooove thigh fucking. Something about the teasing aspect of being soooo close, but not actually doing it really just riles me up. I hope you guys enjoy! All characters are aged up!

Kinkmas Masterlist

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Human!Reader

Warnings: Interspecies Relationship, Making Out, Oral (F Receiving), Thigh Fucking (Clearly), Finger Sucking, Possibly incorrect na'vi, Little bit of breeding kink

You and Neteyam had been dating for a few months now. It was everything you ever wanted. He was attentive and affectionate and passionate and protective and everything else in between. The one and only complaint that you had was that he refused to have sex with you until your avatar was ready. It was frustrating beyond words. Although, he more than made up for it in other ways. Plenty of other ways. But you still craved that last little bit of intimacy. And you understood why he didn’t want to. Given how much bigger than you he was, he didn’t want to hurt you. And the sentiment was sweet, but that didn’t help the deep empty ache of your pussy. 

Especially right now. When he’s hovering over you, lips locked and tongues dancing in a fiery battle for dominance that he would inevitably win. His weight pushes your body further into the mattress making it creak from the strain and you can feel his stiff bulge pressing right between your thighs. You whine trying to shift your hips up to feel more friction where you really need it. Neteyam hisses above you feeling how you’re desperately grinding against him. 

“Yawne…” he means it as a warning, but that tone of voice only turns you on more. 

“Please Teyam…need to feel you so bad…”

“I will hurt you.” he says, caressing your face with his much larger hand.

“Nooo, I can take it. I’ll be fine. Please, Teyam. I can feel how much you want to.”

His face scrunches slightly. You could see on his face how badly he wanted to, but Neteyam is a man with a strong resolve. 

“Just…let me take care of you like this.” he sinks to his knees in front of you and hooks his fingers in the waistband of your shorts, pulling them off. Who were you to stop him when he was offering so eagerly?

You can feel Neteyam’s breath against your slick-covered pussy. He uses two of his fingers to spread your lips open before he wraps his lips around your clit. Your hips jump from the contact, unintentionally bucking against his face. Normally, Neteyam is the definition of patience, but with the way his poor neglected cock is straining against the fabric of his tewng, his resilience is quickie crumbling with every lick and suck on your delicious, dripping cunt.

But he can’t have you the way he wants you. He doesn’t want to hurt you, no matter how badly he wants to bury his dick inside of your warm, too-tight walls. The taste of you on his tongue, though, has his mind desperately searching and spinning for some sort of answer. And suddenly, an idea appears in the back of his mind. It’s a little crazy, but maybe it’s just crazy enough to work to help satisfy both of you. 

You’re completely lost in the sensation of Neteyam’s face buried between your legs so when he pulls away, there’s a moment of relief for you to take a breath, but then your head is snapping up in confusion. 

“Why’d you stop?” 

Your eyes trail his tall, built figure as he unties his loincloth and lets it fall to the ground. 

“I’m going to take care of you, tanhì.” he says with a hint of mischief in his tone and on his face.

Your eyes widen in excitement when Neteyam grabs your legs and holds them together with one hand. His other slowly strokes his stiff cock while he lines it up with your thighs. The slide in is easy with how wet you are and the steady stream of precum drooling from his tip. He brushes against your clit in just the right way making a moan fall from your lips. He pulls his hips back and thrusts back in and fuck, why didn’t he think of this sooner? The welcoming softness of your thighs around his cock has his eyes rolling with pleasure. 

Every stroke has your body rocking in time with his movements. The sound is nothing short of obscene. The slip and slap of skin sliding and smacking against each other. Not to mention, the sight of Neteyam watching his dick disappear between your legs over and over has your head spinning. 

“Teyam…ah haah….please” you beg between moans. 

Neteyam doesn’t even have to ask what you’re wanting. He knows you too well by now. A smirk plays on his lips loving seeing you like this. Being the only one to see you like this. 

“So needy, my tanhì” he teases, but nevertheless, he still extends his three-fingered hand towards your face cupping it softly before placing his thumb at your lips. You eagerly take him into your mouth and suck on his finger, rolling your tongue around the large digit. 

“Fuck, I can’t wait to actually fill you up. Wanna feel you around me so bad…hng nga tìng prrnen (give you a baby)…”

You loved watching Neteyam unravel from you. He only started slipping into Na’vi when he was really losing himself. That’s how you knew he was close. 

His hips start to stutter and his thrusts get sloppy and rough. You were so close too. Just a few more strokes has your pussy clenching around nothing and your back arching off the bed. Your moans are muffled from his finger still in your mouth, but he knows. It’s only a couple of seconds later that Neteyam reaches his high and is shooting thick ropes of white all over your chest and stomach. His thrusts slow down into a gentle rocking that smears his seed between your bodies, practically sticking you together, but you couldn’t care less. 

Neteyam falls forward catching himself with his hand on the bed while he waits for his heavy breathing to steady back out. He carefully pulls his finger from your mouth with a wet ‘pop’. An exhausted smile sits proudly on your face making him grin at you with his sharp canines peeking through. 

“We should’ve tried that sooner.” you voice his thoughts out loud and he chuckles lowly at you. 

“Satisfied?” he asks.

“Very.”

Taglist: @minnory @sussybaka10 @celess0 @funkyflamingo01 @itchaboi-itchyboy @loaksulluyswife @myloveforyouisforever @neteyams-wh0re @the-mourning-moon @wakanda-forever-andotherfandoms @zafrinaxyz @neteyamsyawntu @pandoraslxna @xylianasblog @hotdsworld @teyamsatan @sulieykte @neteyamsoare @neteyamswillow @cryinginthemoonpool @plooto @eywaite @quaritchsluts @jakexneytiri @luvv4j4ybe11 @eywascall

#avatar12daysofkinkmas #avatar #avatar the way of water #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #avatar fic #awow #neteyam x na'vi!reader #atwow #atwow neteyam #avatar twow #avatar neteyam #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #avatar smut #neteyam smut

[eli0004]

Rain, Rain

Sub!Levi x Gn! Reader

Synopsis: not much of a plot, just messing around with Levi in an office while it’s storming outside.

Warnings: hand job, fist-fucking, praise, very slight pain pain play, love confessions, very soft sappy shit

A/N: This was finished way sooner than i thought it would be, i got carried away 😭 also i couldn’t think of a title that wasn’t cringe, please ignore how cliche that one is.

Before everything went to shit, this kind of rain was the biggest inconvenience for the people within the walls. Closing down market stalls, turning the grass all muddy and the sky bleak and grey. You could almost hear it, the grumbling and moaning on the streets about when this dreadful weather would pass. Nowadays, however, no one bats an eye.

You’d never minded the rain, and truthfully, neither did Levi. It’s good weather for reading indoors, or lulling you both to sleep on nights when your mind is particularly active. Often, the two of you find yourselves sitting by the window, watching the storm clouds rolling in and lighting flashing, commentating to one another every now and again when a particularly loud rumble of thunder cracks through the silence. And the rain is especially lovely when it allows you to tangle up together after particularly difficult expeditions, soft touching and gentle kisses to the sound of the droplets drumming on the window panes.

Almost as if thinking of him summoned him to your door, Levi emerges with two steaming cups, placing one on the desk in front of you.

“It’s really coming down out there.” He gestures towards the window, bringing the cup to his nose and softly inhaling the fragrant aroma before taking a sip.

“It is, isn’t it. I wonder how much longer it’ll go on for.” You respond, glancing down at the black tea in front of you. “Have you got a new one?” You ask. He nods once.

“New shipment, i like this one more than the last one i got. It was dreadfully weak.”

You chuckle softly, taking a sip and nodding. “It is stronger, hm?”

There’s a moment of silence before he speaks up again, and you notice how he has subtly inched himself closer to you.

“The rain made me think of you this morning. I wish we could’ve just taken the day off.”

He doesn’t look away from the window, but you know him well enough by now to know that there is subliminal meaning behind his words. Levi has been missing you.

“I’m glad you’re here now, let’s spend some time together, forget about today.” You reach out to beckon him closer. He willfully obeys, placing a hand on the arm of your chair and leaning down to kiss you. But you pull him in closer, and he rests his weight on his knees, placing them on either side of you. Cupping his cheek gently, you brush a thumb over his lip, leaning in once more.

Your lips meet his, ever so softly, and Levi feels like he’s floating. Nimble fingers find their way, trembling slightly, to the roots of your hair as he allows himself to melt into you completely. Your arms snake around the curve of his lower spine, pulling him down so that he is no longer hovering above you, but now sitting firmly on your lap, knees straddling your thighs. At this, he lets out a soft whimper, but it’s nearly inaudible- disappearing where your lips connect.

Levi is no stranger to this, the two of you have engaged in this sort of heavy kissing in the dark many times, but at this moment he feels strangely vulnerable. Desperation is slowly chipping away at his resolve, and suddenly he’s thinking about how it feels- having you touch more of him, peeling off his clothes. He can almost feel the warmth of your palms against his bare skin. It’s in that moment that he realizes he wants all those things. Levi wants you.

You take notice in this shift in energy, if not by the eagerness with which he’s kissing you, needy and open mouthed, then by the hardness of his cock pressing into your stomach, now noticeable through his uniform pants. You don’t push, opting to see just how far he takes things on his own initiative.

You bring one hand up to the back of his head, affectionately tugging at the thick, inky-black strands of hair. His grip on your own hair tightens at this, and he groans softly against your lips, breaking the kiss only for a moment before returning again with three times the desperation. Returning your hand to his waist, you attempt to pull him impossibly closer. Close is not enough.

Levi gasps, breathing air straight from your lungs as the motion of your adjustments sends him slightly forward, his erection pressing deliciously against your lower stomach. The feeling sends his mind reeling, and he experimentally rolls his hips forward again in attempts to replicate the feeling. At the sight of him unraveling before you, so sensitive to every touch, you raise a brow, smirking against his lips.

“You ok, Levi?” You whisper, eyes meeting his in the darkness for only a moment before he casts them downward again. He hesitates, as if he’s about to make a decision that will change the course of his entire life, hands dropping from your hair and down to his lap.

“Yeah, i’m fine. Do you think…tonight would be a good night to…y’know…” he feels his cheeks burn, fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on the chair-cushion as he awaits your response. You grin softly, rubbing your palms up and down his thick thighs, softly kneading at them.

“I’m not sure i do, what is it you’re asking for?”

“Tch…you do know, I’m being serious.” He scolds you, rolling his eyes. “I want to.”

Your eyes finally meet his as he absentmindedly leans in a bit closer, and you take notice of newfound vulnerability that shines through them. His gaze is soft and longing- a stark contrast to his usual laser-focused expression- and you bring a hand up to trace a finger, softly over the wrinkles it’s left behind. Over the crease between his brows, the crows feet by his eyes, the dark bags beneath them from his many nights of exhaustion. He leans into your touch, and you speak through the silence.

“I love you.”

Levi is unable to stop the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, and he crashes them against yours once again before you can comment on it. His kisses are heated, almost aggressive, and for a split second you’re taken aback by it, closing your eyes and letting your grip on his thighs loosen.

His hands find your shoulders, sliding up your neck, cupping your cheeks gently before re-tangling his fingers into your hair. You hum softly against his lips, and he slips his tongue into your mouth just enough to tease. Unsatisfied, you allow one arm to pull him snugly against you again, bringing your other to grip the back of his neck, deepening the kiss and forcing your tongue past his lips. He moans softly at this, exhaling through his nose.

Levi grinds himself forward against your stomach once again, languidly rolling his hips and pressing his dick firmly against your abdomen. By now, your mind is reeling with the thought of having him do this without those god forsaken pants to get in the way. Breaking the kiss, you look down, snapping open the buckle of his belt and nearly tearing the zipper of his pants down. He lifts himself up off your lap to shimmy out of them, tearing off his shirt in the process, as you peel off your own shirt.

Once restrictive fabric is discarded, Levi re-positions himself on top of you, shivering slightly as the air nips at his bare skin. You don’t notice the chill, already busy pressing open mouthed kisses to his bare shoulders, over his collar bone, the skin of his neck. Levi tilts his head back ever so slightly, arching his back as you trail your fingers, feather-light, down his spine. How desperately you want to leave marks there on the column of his throat, not as an act of possession, but to serve as a reminder of this moment for you to look back on tomorrow morning when the two of you must get up and dressed before sunrise. To watch him anxiously adjust his collar, making sure to hide the evidence from any wandering eyes.

Breaking away from him, you drop your gaze down to observe the wet spot seeping through the front of his underwear. You take a minute to admire the product of your ministrations, before bringing a finger to trace the dampness there. He gasps, head falling forward and bangs flopping over his eyes.

“Don’t tease, damn it…please” he breathes, shakily against your ear. “I want you.”

“I can tell.” You chuckle. Deciding against waiting any longer, you hook your index finger into the waistband of his underwear, pulling it forward to let his cock spring up against his lower belly, smearing that slick wetness below his navel, before letting go and watching it snap against his length like a rubber band. He jumps, surprised at the sting. “Hah…ouch!”

“I want these off too.”

He lifts once again to kick off the final layer, leaving him fully exposed, returning to you to present himself at your mercy. His tongue is poking through his lips as he watches you curiously, as if to try and predict your next course of action.

You place a hand on his hip, smoothing a thumb over the bone and gazing up at him lovingly. Your other hand finds its way to his stomach, open palm and fingers splayed, running it all the way up to his chest and up to his jaw, gently forcing him to look at you.

“You’re so beautiful, every inch of you, I’m enamored by it all. You know that?” He rolls his eyes, and you wrap your other hand around the base of his cock, squeezing slightly.

“Hnn..ah!” He chokes out, squeezing his eyes shut.

“You know that, Levi?” He nods, frantically, and you’re unsure if he even remembers what you’re asking, his body is melting into you, hunching forward. Chuckling softly, you begin to slowly slide your hand up and down, languidly. Thumb circling his tip every so often, spreading the pre-cum down his shaft.

Levi lets his head fall against your shoulder, huffing against your neck, his rib cage expanding and contracting with every breath. You trace over his chest, over his peaked nipple, pinching and rolling it gently between your thumb and forefinger as you continue to stroke him off, and his breath catches in his throat.

“F-fuck~” he whimpers out, jaw slackening as you speed up your pace and tighten your grip. His hips lurch forward and his hands are searching for something to hold onto, settling on gripping the back of your chair with white knuckles, snaking his other arm around your neck and pulling you closer to him, almost in a hug. You can feel his abdominal muscles beginning to tense, and you slow your pace, but Levi isn’t willing to wait any longer. His hand falls from the back of your chair to grab onto your wrist.

Holding it steady, he begins thrusting his hips forward, fucking your hand like it’s sheer instinct. Any other time, you’d stop him, but seeing him so fucked out and desperately humping into your closed fist is what prevents you from doing so. This isn’t something you see often.

Levi is dangerously close, moaning against your ear long and drawn out. Holding him close, you press your mouth against his ear and whisper “good boy, so good. You need to cum? Let go for me, ok?”

His eyes roll back, lids fluttering closed as he freezes, holding his breath for a second as his hips stutter “ah-ah oh god, fuck, i love you, i love you, i love you” he rasps out, gushing thick, creamy ropes over your fist, his body trembling with the force of his orgasm as it tears through him. You smile softly at his confession and it’s timing, allowing him to guide your fist over his length to milk himself of any last drops.

And as his breathing slowly returns to normal, his tired body slumps against your own. The rain outside has begun to die down, now only a soft drizzle. You hold him there, as long as he needs, tracing shapes over the skin of his bare back. In the end though, it’s Levi who breaks the silence, whispering against your skin

“let’s get to bed, we can…uh…spend more time together there.”

#attack on titan #aot #aot x reader #aot headcanons #aot smut #aot x y/n #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman headcanons #sub!levi #sub!levi ackerman #subby levi #snk levi #snk #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman smut

[cxlamarisalxmi]

Blue

[Platonic Headcanons]

c/w: suicidal thoughts and tendencies, angst, foul language, grief and loss

a/n: the trailer for modern warfare 3 was dropped and it’s due to release in November… obviously I had to do this <3 also.. totally not projecting my own feelings and struggles in here….. definitely not—

—

[Unedited]

• When you were younger you didn’t have much, your mother was absent your entire life after she had left you on your father’s doorstep after a one night stand and he didn’t have much before you were unceremoniously dumped into his life

• When he managed to bring himself to actually calm down he sat a moment to think things through, he wasn’t sure he was the father type and he wasn’t sure he could raise you properly— but he certainly tried

• And for you.. that was enough

• He did the best he could, you had no shame in admitting that, but in the eyes of an outsider it was never enough, he wasn’t making enough money for it to be enough.. now that you looked back on it there was only ever one thing you ever had to say about him—

“The bravest man I knew, he didn’t have a lot on his own.. had even less with me around but he made do. We made do. And he was more than enough for me.”

• He was murdered when you were sixteen, you remember in the trial regarding the case that it had something to do with being involved with the wrong people and those people had come to collect something he didn’t have

• His death tore you apart

• And because of it— you adopted a guarded and fiercely independent personality that made you seem cold to the outside world and the people surrounding you

• You joined up after that, with nothing to lose and a suffocating ache in your chest born of frustration and grief you had hoped this was you writing your death certificate and that the skeletal depicted, scythe wielding spirit would come for you sooner rather than later

• Driven to it by the desperation for a way out, anything to get rid of the searing ache in your chest, burning hot and angry like a smoldering fire that you didn’t see snuffing out anytime soon

• Only when you were gone from this world could you be freed from this pain, that’s how you saw it anyway, and that’s what you wanted… more than anything

• It was the loneliness of isolation that really drove you to your brink, you didn’t want to be alone… but you didn’t want to burden anyone with your issues that you couldn’t see resolving and you couldn’t bring yourself to believe you were deserving of it either— a vicious cycle

• After awhile with your team of marines you had gained the callsign; ‘Blue’ —for your rather glum outlook on life, and for the consistent and deep sadness you had that seemed to weigh so heavily upon you

• Things changed when you were put on a special ops team, having soared through your physical exams and grown to be a strong and capable individual it really came as no surprise your commanding officers sought to place you in a team that would strengthen and enrich your potential

• You struggled to find your place within the team at first, all of them having already been together long enough to form bonds stronger than anything, you felt like an outcast and maybe in the beginning you felt okay with that

• Because in the first months of your career within the team you still withheld any emotion other than indifference to a cold and bitter world that hadn’t done anything for you or in your favor

• So you didn’t make an effort to get close with any of them— not for lack of effort on their part, but for the self acknowledgment you had that you disregarded your life

• When Price had found out through Laswell that your mother was absent and your father passed three years ago he put the pieces together on why you outright refused to let yourself fall in line with them, input yourself into their tight knit family circle

• He learned that your father was your everything, how deeply you respected and admired him for everything he sacrificed for himself to give you more than what he had to offer, and everything made sense

• You didn’t want to involve yourself with them outside of work because you didn’t think your heart could handle any more loss of those close to you, but with the way you were going through life soullessly and reckless, he was sure you wouldn’t survive another damn day

• Another reason you didn’t want to get close to him and the rest of the team, because you didn’t plan to be alive for much longer

• And that bothered him, it twisted something in his chest and knotted up his stomach that someone so young couldn’t handle being alive anymore, didn’t want to stick around long enough to see just how much life had to offer if you opened yourself up to it

• It bothered him enough to corner you one night after a particularly harrowing mission in which you almost lost your life— he hated that you were irate you didn’t

• He didn’t want to force anything out of you that you weren’t ready to speak about, or make you uncomfortable in any way but he had to do this, else you’d deteriorate more and more until you were but a shell or worse— six feet in the ground (if you’d get lucky enough to be put in a coffin, but if he were to be honest and if he’d allow the reality to settle in his stomach you’d no doubt meet your inevitable end on the battlefield, another corpse at the feet of a government that didn’t care about you in the slightest)

• But he managed to get you to open up about it, managed to draw you out from within the thick and barbed barriers defending your broken and vulnerable heart and soul, and you wept everything to him, he just brought you in his arms and held you against his chest comfortingly and lovingly

• After that you had opened yourself up to the others too, and they were more than ready to accept your friendship and in the following months you had grown to love them and they you— you had fit well within their warmth and family

• In getting closer with them —Price most of all— you had developed a fiercely overprotective nature, refusing to let the world take them, take him who had shown you so much this life could offer to you, you wouldn’t lose Price or any of them like you lost your father

• It made you reckless with your life once more, only this time because you kept putting yours on the line for his sake, that made him angrier than when you were doing it just because you didn’t want to be alive anymore

• He shut that shit down real quick, and though you were certainly less inclined to be so quick to throw your life away, you didn’t quite quit being protective enough over your team to offer your life up instead of theirs

• Ghost hated to admit that you had quickly grown on him, past that prickly persona and cold indifference he had about him there was a hurt and broken shell of a man, a man named Simon that Ghost was built to protect and shelter

• You recognized the numb look in his eye, the fiercely guarded yearn for love from another— because you had been the exact same way, and you could easily see it through the barbed barriers he built around his broken and vulnerable heart

• It was easy for you to worm your way into said heart, because again— you knew that look, maybe you didn’t experience the same things but you both had been hurt by the world and the people within it enough to draw back into yourselves and construct a personality to protect the vulnerability you sheltered inside

• His was more aggressive sure.. but, that didn’t stop you from taking the initiative to chisel away at his thickly built concrete walls to access his center, the most tender part of him— Simon

• He was shocked by how quickly you managed to intricate yourself into his very short list of people he genuinely cares about, and maybe at first he fought it, fought how safe and comforted you made him feel, but after awhile he sort of just ran with it.. even grew to like it

• And you became the shoulder he could lean on, someone he could depend on you be there and have his back— he counted on you, and you were eager to show him he did not make a mistake in who he put his faith in

• And you hadn’t yet, missions were run a whole helluva lot easier now that you had fit yourself into their puzzle and connected yourself as an essential part of the well oiled machine their team turned out to be

• Gaz and Soap in their own ways had grown on you rather quick after Price managed to get you to let go of the suffering and pain you had weighing on your shoulders, and you surprised yourself by not really minding it

• They both were so unique in their own ways that made you fond of them, and they were both so eager to make you feel welcome and needed when you finally accepted the idea of family through bonds of blood and hardships

• You were an essential part of the team, they needed you just as you needed them.. and you’re really glad you had managed to find them when you needed it (not that you would ever say that to them, lest you wish to give Gaz and Soap egos the size of fucking Mars)

• Sometimes it was hard, there were some days that were tougher than others and some days where you wished you hadn’t woken up at all but your boys were always quick to help you through

• And you loved them more than anything, it took months after your first initial addition to the team for you to admit that to yourself— even longer to admit it to them.. but you did, well and truly loved them

• You would do anything for them, just as they would do anything and everything for you

• They couldn’t ever fill the ever prominent hole in your heart nor gaping pit in your soul but they overwhelmed your feelings of grief and sadness with home and warmth instead, so strong and comforting that you couldn’t even feel the lingering pain in your heart

• You’d go to Hell and back to protect that— go through anything and everything to protect your bond you shared with them

• Because they were worth it

—

a/n: this feels kinda meh and they’re short.. but, definitely expect to see Blue more often, and maybe some other characters (reader) I’ve got in mind hehe <3

#cod mw2 #modern warfare 2 #cod x reader #soap x reader #ghost x reader #gaz x reader #price x reader #platonic reader #x platonic!reader #platonic imagine #cod x teen reader #x teen!reader

[lotties-ashwagandha]

Hey! Can you please do where somebody is acting violent and aggressive at Lottie's compound towards her, and maybe she is just stunt to do anything because of trauma when Shauna beat her, but female reader (Lottie's girlfriend) is immediately there and she shields Lottie with her body and protects?

NEW ARRIVALS

pairing: lottie matthews x fem!reader

word count: 1174

notes and warnings: ok so hot take i feel like adult lottie would be more apt to smack a bitch that went after her (thinking of that scene w travis where she got rlly triggered and shoved his ass against a wall lmao) so i deviated from the original request a little but we still get tons of drama and big strong reader ok ,,, also this is not proofread

You loved running the wellness center with Lottie. It was fulfilling to help other people heal, to see them blossom in a way they only could in trusting themselves, trusting you.

But new arrivals to the compound, more often than not, caused more trouble than they were worth. Even though their arrivals were usually voluntary, the new residents always carried the same suspicions, the same emotional guards. It was more difficult than you would’ve liked to get them settled in, get them to trust you, especially with what was known of Lottie’s past.

Sooner or later, however, all of them submitted — almost all of them.

There was one woman, in her early 20s, you thought, who simply wouldn’t relent. She had been pressured into joining the wellness center by her sister, and ever since you’d taken away her phone and her belongings she had spiraled. She was erratic in her behavior and moods, and you never knew what to expect from her. One day she would be making progress, the next she would be worse than when she came to the compound.

Lottie had placed her in a meditation class that she taught, and at the end of the class was a healing circle, a place where those who wished to could talk about their struggles, about conflicts they were having with others inside or outside the compound, and could resolve them.

To put it lightly, the woman in question, Dana, never did well with healing circles.

In any case, you thought you were making progress with her — you had a private session scheduled with her every Tuesday after her meditation class, and you usually showed up five or ten minutes early to watch the healing circle. You needed to see what mood she was in that day, and besides that, you wouldn’t give up an opportunity to see Lottie.

But that day, everything had gone awry. You and Lottie had woken up late, both a bit hungover from the night before, one of the rare occasions the two of you had broken and allowed yourselves some fun. You’d been half an hour late to teach a yoga class, and Lottie had been meant to teach a seminar that had to be canceled and rescheduled.

The whole day had put both of you in an exceedingly irritable mood, and when the time came for the meditation class’s healing circle, everything escalated.

Dana — the new, ill-tempered arrival — was in one of her moods. She hardly complied with anything Lottie was teaching, and every time someone in the healing circle would share something vulnerable she would interrupt them with some crude or hostile remark.

Lottie was reaching the end of her rope, you could sense it. The looks she gave the woman, daggers sharpening her gaze, was tell enough. But you knew her, knew that despite how much she wanted to, she would never act on the urges unless she was provoked.

At last, it was Dana’s turn in the healing circle.

“Dana,” Lottie asked, “is there anything you would like to share? You’ve been quite active today in the stories of others.”

“Sure,” she said, perking up, and you dreaded whatever would come next. “I think this place is a piece of shit, and all of you sitting here listening to this bullshit are fucking stupid.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but you voluntarily signed yourself up for four months here.”

Dana stood, gesturing to Lottie as she addressed the rest of the compound. “I don’t think all of you fully understand that this bitch is clinically insane! She spent fucking years in Switzerland traumatized from shit she did with her team out in the wilderness! Haven’t you heard the theories, what everyone’s saying? They think this bitch fucking ate people!”

Dana lunged forward, and before you could stop her she had shoved Lottie, and the whole compound was engulfed in silence.

You reached to stop her but in the speed of a moment Lottie was on top of the woman, slamming her into the wall. A look of terror overcame Dana’s features, and though you couldn’t hear her exact words you could hear Lottie whispering to her, justifications of her actions, threats you knew she would deliver on if given the opportunity.

You rushed towards the two of them, weaving your way in between them. “Lottie,” you hissed, “back up.”

“Did you hear-?”

“I know what she said, but you have to back up.”

After a moment she relented, backing away. Her expression was oddly blank as she watched the woman still against the wall.

Dana moved to rush towards her again, but you stopped her, slamming her back. “Get the fuck out. We’ll have your shit sent to you, but if we ever see you again, we’ll have you fucking arrested.”

She nodded, slightly stunned, and you let her go.

The whole room was silent, every set of eyes plastered to the three of you.

Calmly, though a bit angrily, you dismissed the meditation class.

Once you were alone, Lottie began to pace, and you allowed yourself your anger.

“Lottie, you can’t do that shit!” You half-shouted, the whole situation having shocked you. “I heard what she said and it was fucking terrible but all of these people look up to you, they’re paying you to make them as spiritual and leveled as you are.”

She only nodded, and while she was silent you could sense her becoming more and more frantic, her breathing becoming erratic.

You moved towards her, saw how she was near tears. You softened, sighing, thinking over everything Dana had said. It wasn’t often that Lottie chose to relive or talk about anything that happened out in the wilderness, or about any of her time in Switzerland — to have it all sprung on her at once in such a way, you supposed, she probably handled it better than most would have.

“Lottie,” you said softly, “come here.”

She let you pull her into you, her arms looping around you in an embrace, and finally her breathing became more level. Gently you ran your hands up and down her back, trying to comfort her as much as you could, though you knew most of your efforts would be in vain.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, and you shook your head.

“It’s okay. I get it,” you promised. “But next time if you go off at someone, at least get in a good punch or two.”

She laughed softly, as you’d hoped, and you smiled. It was everything to you, just to know you could give her even the tiniest bit of joy when she needed it.

“We could teach a boxing class and use Dana as the punching bag.”

“I would definitely sign up for that,” you agreed, and to see her smile brought you the entirety of the heavens.

“Also… Are you going to ask me about what she said about the, uh, eating people?”

“Honestly, I don’t want to know.”

-

-

-

Taglist: @cartoonpeoples @thedeconstructionist @traumatisedfangirl @cordeliass @christies-fleur @paulsonsratched @goodeday2u

#lottie matthews x reader #lottie x reader #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets #adult lottie matthews x reader

[yumeka-sxf]

Chapter 75...

I was so looking forward to a tearful reunion between Yor and Anya (since they're my favorite relationship in the series besides Twiyor) and I was not disappointed! ❤ It actually played out exactly as I thought, with Anya finally realizing the weight of what just happened and breaking down into tears before running to Yor (this is also the first time she initiated a hug from Yor instead of the other way around). Guess I got another favorite manga panel now 😭

I had to do a double take when the chapter started with the kids receiving stellas...I was like "are we really gonna skip what happened right after the previous chapter?!" But thankfully we get a flashback that fills in the gaps. I know many of us, including myself, predicted that the kids would get stellas (I personally thought they'd get more, especially Anya, but oh well).

Probably something no one saw coming was the fact that Twilight ended up being at the incident site. I know some people were confused/upset about this, but my interpretation is that he only showed up later, after everything was resolved, and he was not there when the terrorists were actually threatening the kids (I could be proven wrong later of course, but that's what I think as of now). We're told that he "raced" over, so he must have gotten the news from a source besides WISE. It could have been the television broadcast, or an informant like Franky. Plus, knowing Twilight, he probably has means of getting around faster than someone would expect, but he still needed a reasonable amount of time, hence why I don't think he could have been there any sooner than when the incident was wrapping up.

I know people were also disappointed that he reacted as calmly as he did, considering how much danger Anya was in. But I think he's simply still not ready for that level of emotion yet, especially in front of a WISE colleague. Maybe if Yor wasn't already there to comfort Anya, or if he saw exactly what happened on the bus, he would have broken down more. I feel like Twilight having a real emotional outburst (for Anya and/or Yor) would be when the series is heading towards a conclusion, and we're just not there yet. So for now, he's still continuing to spy from the shadows, but I have a feeling we'll get more of his thoughts on the whole matter later.

Another thing I predicted was that this incident would bring Anya and Damian closer - he even gave her compliments and called her a "friend!" Of course he goes all tsundere right after, but it's definitely a big step in their relationship.

And probably the biggest shock was finding out how unhinged Melinda is. At first I was like, "oh, how nice, she's actually a caring mom," but then when she switched...😳

Maybe the trigger for whatever contradictory thoughts she has going on is linked to her husband, since she changed her demeanor as soon as Damian brought him up.

There could still be another chapter or two related to this arc since there are still things yet to be resolved. For example, did Yor realize that she was lied to by Eden about what happened, and also, how does she feel about the perpetrators being Red Circus? And there's still a chance we'll get further reactions from Twilight (again, he's slow with his emotional constipation). We could get a scene of him musing about what happened, and then the impact of how serious it was finally hits him. And then there's Yuri...will he simply recover from his wound off-panel or will he have to spend time recuperating (with the Forgers)? And now we have this whole new development with Melinda. Still so much to look forward to!

#spy family #spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #anya forger #yor forger #damian desmond #sxf manga spoilers #sxf spoilers #spy x family spoilers #sxf manga

[ltwharfy]

Long Post of Random Thoughts on Finishing "Gravity Falls"

Are you interested in reading a really long post where a middle-aged guy talks about a children’s cartoon that ended seven years ago? If so, you are in luck! I just finished watching “Gravity Falls” y’all! And here are a bunch of totally random thoughts about it:

-“I’ll have you know Duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over kids’ heads!”- it was nice that the kids show that I became obsessed with over the past two months or so acknowledged the reasons adults might get obsessed with it. Also, Duck-tective has to be one of my favorite show-within-a-show premises. I’d definitely check it out!

-While I do love the humor of the show so much, it is really the mystery element- the ongoing story arc- that took me by surprise and eventually led to me bingeing the last eight episodes or so in one day. I just don’t remember animated kids comedies- or really, many kids shows of any type-when I was growing up that had ongoing story arcs like that. Kids shows where the episodes could be watched in any order and everything was always “back to normal” at the beginning of the next episode was the norm.

-I’ve been a fan of Kristen Schaal since she was on The Daily Show and eventually end up watching everything she’s in. So, the main thing I knew about Gravity Falls going into it was “Kristen Schaal does the voice of that girl”. As Louise Belcher is one of my favorite TV characters, I was worried- would I be able to forget about Louise while hearing Mabel? Yes, quite easily. Their personalities are so different! It was basically never an issue. I actually tried to listen for Mabel lines that sounded like Louise might say them and really only ended up with two that stuck out to me (“I high-five hard.” and “I AM THE GOD OF DESTRUCTION!”)

-Oh, but Louise would also want a grappling hook. And, honestly, she’d get as much or more use of it than Mabel did. Like I can think of a few episodes (and the movie…) where it could’ve been helpful. But I digress.

-One final Bob’s Burgers related point, there were a few things in season two that I just couldn’t help but wonder if they were references to Bob’s Burgers. First, the Jersey Shore hometown of Stan and Ford definitely made me think of Seymour’s Bay. And the Pines briefly have a burger phone in “The Stan-Churian Candidate”! On the other hand, both Jersey Shore towns and burger phones are real things that existed well before Bob’s Burgers and not every appearance of them is a reference to it. (But when you’ve also got Kristen Schaal involved…)

-And speaking of cast members who I remembered from other things, both Dipper and Wendy were voiced by actors from short-lived early 00s shows that I loved: Joan of Arcadia’s Jason Ritter and Freaks and Geeks’s Linda Cardellini. The fact that I will associate them with those shows is another indication that I am not in the target demographic of Gravity Falls! But, honestly, if I had known Linda Cardellini was also in this show, I might have checked it out sooner.

-And speaking of Dipper and Wendy, I really loved how they handled Dipper’s crush on her in season two. Their scene together at the end of “Into the Bunker” is so sweet, it just made me feel so much affection for both the characters and the folks who make the show. It would’ve been so easy to never really make any effort to resolve that plotline and instead just always have Dipper pathetically crushing on her for the whole show. Or make it a nerdy boy wish-fulfillment thing and have her actually return his feelings (which just wouldn’t’ve been realistic given their ages). Instead, I feel like they addressed it in a realistic and sensitive way, which was nice.

-Another thing I really appreciated was how they developed some of the supporting characters in season 2, particularly Old Man McGucket and Pacifica Northwest. I enjoyed those characters in season one, but pretty much assumed they would always stay in their stock character roles- crazy old man and mean rich girl, respectively. Instead, McGucket gets what I found to be some of the most moving scenes in the show- when he gets his memories back and when he reunites with Ford.

-And Pacifica! She’s honestly the character I find myself wondering the most about what happens to them after the show. She’s realized her family has been pretty horrible for generations. She stood up to her parents. Her family lost some of their money and had to sell their mansion (her dad pledging allegiance to Bill and investing in weirdness bonds is probably one of my favorite details from the finale). She’s becoming a teenager. And she lives in Gravity Falls full time. I just think her post-series finale life is gonna be pretty fascinating!

-And maybe that life will involve her getting romantically involved with Dipper? Yeah, I started shipping that after “Northwest Mansion Mystery”, and even though the show really didn’t give them any scenes together (which is understandable, there was a lot of other stuff going on) I still like it. I checked to see if there was fic about it on AO3 and immediately got freaked out because there is so dang much of it! Seriously, the number of Dipper/Pacifica fics on there is literally ten times the number of fics for my favorite Bob’s Burgers ship! What am I supposed to do with that?!

-So if the statement, “I’m looking for the ‘Be My Thrill’/’heaven help the fool who falls in love’ of Dipper/Pacifica fics” means something to you, and you have a recommendation, let me know.

-One supporting character I wish had been introduced earlier: Tad Strange, the most normal person in town. The name, the character design, the voice, all just amused me. It would’ve been fun if there was more of him.

-Speaking of supporting character designs that I loved: Toby Determined and his hat, with the press card that says “hat” instead of “press”. That literally always made me smile. I love it so much. It is one of my favorite cartoon character design details ever.

-Possibly the most random of observations: I can now think of four fictional characters named Mabel off the top of my head, but don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with that name in real life.

-I don’t have any kids of my own, but I do have a nephew, and now I am pretty excited about the possibility that I could be a Grunkle a few decades down the road. Hopefully, I’ll have my own Mystery Shack by then.

-Even though I know how the storyline ends now, I feel like this show has a high level of rewatchability for some point in the future. I’m sure there will be tons of details that I didn’t notice the first time around, and there are definitely more layers of it to peel back (I never paid attention to the codes/puzzles in the credits. Although, had I been watching this show when I was 10 I probably would’ve obsessed about them.)

-I can probably think of more things to say about this show and probably will, but this seems like enough for now. Thanks to Alex Hirsch and everyone involved in making the show for creating such wonderfully weird, hilarious, entertaining world! And thanks to you, person who actually read to the end of this post!

#gravity falls #long post #mabel pines #dipper pines #stan pines #pacifica northwest #old man mcgucket #tad strange #toby determined #louise belcher #kristen schaal #jason ritter #alex hirsch #wendy corduroy #linda cardellini

[hyperfixatedimagines]

The Queen & her Lady ch. 4

Summary: With everything finally out in the open the Princess and the Queen must face new and old challenges together. Is their burgeoning romance strong enough to weather the storm that approaches?

A/n: I really want to thank everyone for being so patient. I do hope for weekly releases but I can’t spend all day writing (as much as I would like to) and unfortunately, I am not immune to writer’s block. I appreciate all the kind words everyone has sent my way. I hope to have chapters 5 and 6 out sooner. My goal is to have the series done by the end of the year. So please stay tuned. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

A/n pt. 2: @fuckinglittlekitten​ @swords-and-roses​ @watercolorskyy​ @chonisbestmistake​ @freshmoneyalmondathlete​ @bass6c​

The days that followed the pair’s confessions and subsequent kiss were stressful but hopeful.

Alicent could no longer deny her true feelings. She could no longer deny she cared deeply for Princess (y/n).

More importantly, Alicent didn’t want to deny it. She had spent so many years being unhappy, numbing herself to displeasure. Sadness and isolation her only companions.

So did she not deserve some measure of happiness? Was happiness not owed to her?

But still, Alicent struggled with allowing herself to be happy.

Thankfully, she had (y/n). Whenever Alicent wanted to cower and return to her miserable loneliness (y/n) stepped in and banished whatever fear dared threaten their budding love.

(y/n) was fearless. She was confident and unabashed. She loved the Queen, and now that she knew the Queen felt the same nothing would get in (y/n)’s way, not even the Queen herself. (y/n) was determined to love Alicent Hightower.

And it was the Princess’ love that strengthened Alicent’s resolve. It was (y/n)’s love for her that made Alicent choose happiness even when the voices in her head (that sounded eerily like her father) begged her to repent and punish herself.

-

A week later things had changed for the better.

Noble and servant alike swore they had never seen the Queen so happy. She smiled and spoke sweetly to all. To the King, she bore kisses and her unrelenting attentiveness. Even her father, the hand of the King, had never seen his daughter in such a state of rapture.

The Queen attended to her duties as she always had but every spare moment was spent in the Princess’ company. The Princess herself was rarely ever seen not at the Queen’s side.

A lightness flooded the Keep that had not been felt since Queen Aemma’s passing.

-

Alicent, ever the shrewd politician, monitored the gossip in court and took note of any rumor that dared examine her companionship with (y/n) too closely. Thankfully, most seemed to view her relationship with the Princess simply as friendship.

Unfortunately, one of the few who didn’t see it that way was her father.

But she would not let his scowls and disappointed looks sway her.

She had a true and steadfast lover in Princess (y/n). Years of solitude had jaded Alicent to the idea of love. All she knew was sacrifice. Any love she had was reserved for her children.

And then came Princess (y/n).

Princess (y/n) had changed everything. She had reminded Alicent why girls dreamt of love. Alicent felt as if she had awoken from a long, and awful slumber.

She felt whole again.

So what did it matter that her father looked at her with such disdain?

Alicent had not abandoned any of her duties. She attended to her husband as she always had. There for him in his hours of need, when the pain was too much for him to bear. She never missed a small council meeting, and never failed in her duty to the realm.

So why should she deny herself the pleasure of the Princess’ company? Why deny herself the euphoria of (y/n)’s kiss in the privacy of her chambers?

As long as she was the Queen and Viserys the king, her father’s disappointed looks mattered not. As long as she did not have to confront him she could bear his disapproval.

-

(y/n) sighed as the sun began to set in the Godswood. 

The sun in King’s Landing did nothing to soothe the chill inside her. Even when she was wrapped in furs at night (y/n) felt a biting cold deep inside her.

The Queen laced their fingers together. “What troubles you now, my love?”

(y/n) and the Queen sat underneath the weirwood tree, shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. (y/n) lifted her head from where it rest on the Queen’s shoulder.

“I have been here for many months now, and yet my body still craves the heat of the desert sun in Dorne. The Keep is too frigid,” (y/n) explained as she angled her face toward the last rays of the sun that peeked through the walls of the Keep.

The Queen turned to (y/n) with a soft smile on her face. “Were I an archer I would pierce the sun with my arrow and place it upon your mantle so that you would never again feel cold.”

(y/n)’s face flushed. “Your grace,” she chided.

The Queen laughed. “Ser Criston is standing guard in the hall. We are alone here (y/n), and I wish to tell you all the ways in which you have enchanted my heart.”

(y/n) met the Queen’s gaze. “As you have captured mine, your grace.”

“Call me Alicent, my love. When in each other’s company only call me by my name.” The Queen beamed as she spoke.

The Princess’ eyebrows raised. “Are you sure?”

The Queen nodded then brought (y/n)’s hand to her lips. She placed a delicate kiss on (y/n)’s knuckles before returning her gaze to (y/n).

“I want to hear you say it, love.”

(y/n) licked her lips. It was different than when Aemond asked them to forgo their titles. The Princess knew this would change everything between them.

“Alicent,” (y/n) said slowly, savoring each syllable.

The Queen’s gaze brought a heat to (y/n)’s core. Gone was the frosty chill. Now, a growing fire kindled inside.

“Say it again,” the Queen commanded, her eyes darkening.

“Alicent,” (y/n) repeated, eager to submit to her lover’s instruction.

The Queen bit her lip.

(y/n) wished she could read the Queen’s mind. She wanted to know if the Queen felt as hot as she did.

“Agai-”

The Queen stopped at the sound of clinking armor growing nearer.

Both women turned to the edge of the clearing where Ser Criston appeared.

He bowed his head.

“Sorry to interrupt your grace, but I was informed the small council has called for an urgent meeting.”

The Queen sighed. “Thank you Ser Criston.” Then she turned to (y/n). “Forgive me Princess.”

“No need for apologies, your grace,” she said and stood.

Then (y/n) turned to offer her hand to the Queen. The Queen took it and (y/n) helped her stand. 

(y/n) gave the Queen’s hand a squeeze.

“I shall wait for you in the library.”

The Queen smiled affectionately. “I will see you there.”

With that the Queen left the Godswood with Ser Criston in tow. (y/n) watched as the Queen walked away, the fire inside her still burning.

-

Alicent abhorred small council meetings. Under normal circumstances, she did her duty without objection. Since her companionship with (y/n) began in earnest Alicent found the meetings to be even more dreary and never ending.

“What are you thoughts your grace,” Lord Tyland Lannister called out.

Alicent startled. She turned to Lord Tyland with a blank look on her face.

In truth she had not heard what they were saying. She was too busy thinking of the way her name sounded coming from (y/n)’s lips.

Otto cleared his throat. “Let us get to the matter that gives us cause to assemble. Lord Corlys is requesting more aid be sent to him in his resurgent battle with the Triarchy.”

“Did we not already send Lord Corlys coffers of gold and ships filled with young men,” Lord Jasper Wylde questioned.

Lord Tyland nodded. “We did, though it seems Lord Corlys does not see it sufficient.”

“I trust that Lord Corlys will prevail against the Triarchy once more. Let us send him the aid he requested,” Alicent stated.

Otto studied his daughter’s face. “What reason have you for such a rushed decision, your grace?”

Alicent did not meet her father’s gaze. “We almost failed to secure the stepstones once due to our unwillingness to support Lord Corlys early in the war. Once they had been won the crown did nothing to maintain it as a stronghold. We shall not make such a mistake twice.”

Lord Beesbury nodded. “I agree with her grace.”

“I have heard rumor that House Martell has sent aid to the Triarchy,” Otto declared, his gaze still firmly on his daughter.

Alicent furrowed her brow but again did not meet her father’s gaze. “Prince Qoren would not do something so foolish while his daughter is in our care.”

The rest of the council agreed.

“Hmm,” Otto said as he leaned back in his seat.

Alicent cleared her throat and finally looked towards her father. “If that is all for today, please excuse me my lords.”

Otto’s face soured and he looked away from Alicent. “Yes I’m sure the Dornish Princess is expecting you.”

The Lords of the small council exchanged uneasy glances.

Alicent’s stomach twisted into a knot. Underneath the table, she dug her fingernails deep into the palms of her hands.

“The Princess’ abilities as a lady of good breeding leave much to be desired of. She needs extensive tutelage if she hopes to be wed someday,” Alicent replied, doing her best to keep her voice steady and even.

Otto met Alicent’s gaze and smirked. “And wed soon she will be.”

Alicent swallowed hard. (y/n)’s betrothal was not something she let her mind linger on.

Then she stood from the table and excused herself once more. She walked towards the door, calmly and without giving anything away.

Once outside the room, Alicent took a deep breath to steady herself. Her father knew the truth. It was something she feared but did not know for certain. Alicent was sure he would ruin everything, somehow.

-

The Gods would give Alicent’s fears the certainty they craved for. Before she had made it down the corridor her father called out to her.

Alicent turned and waited for him to reach her.

“We need to talk,” he stated.

Alicent nodded, dread and unease taking hold of her. “Yes father.”

Otto led Alicent into a nearby room. Neither spoke as they stood in the barely lit chamber. Otto sighed.

“I had hoped it would not come to this. I hoped your good sense would prevail over whatever sorcery that Dornish girl cast over you.”

“I do not know what you mean, father,” Alicent replied and looked away from her father.

The urge to pick at her nailbeds started to prick at her fingers.

“You know exactly what I speak of.” Otto frowned. “First you inform everyone that the Princess is to return to Dorne then suddenly she has changed her mind? Now the both of you walk the Keep’s halls hand in hand without regard for who might see.”

Alicent looked at the ground. She hated the way her father could make her feel like a small girl with just his words.

 “Father I-”

“You are not a girl anymore Alicent. You are the Queen. Parading that girl around the Keep as though you two are..,” Otto said with an exasperated sigh but he did not continue. He crossed the room and brought his hands to his temples.

Alicent looked up, a sudden fury brewing inside her. “As though we are what, father?”

Otto met his daughter’s gaze. “You know exactly what.”

“I do not,” Alicent replied.

She would not let her father speak of the Princess in that way, not in front of her. Not when (y/n) had been nothing but loyal and devoted. Alicent balled her fists and continued.

“That girl, as you call her, is a Princess of Dorne. She is to be wed to Aemond. She is to be family. I will not have you speak of her in such a manner.”

Otto searched his daughter’s face for signs of the dutiful girl he once knew. He shook his head.

“I only say this with concern for you. Our hardest days are yet to come and I do not wish for us to be divided. Our hearts must remain as one, as they have been.”

Alicent stepped closer to her father. “My heart rests with what is best for the realm.”

Otto scoffed but said nothing more.

“Princess (y/n)’s marriage to Aemond ensures peace with Dorne and prosperity for the realm. I will not have you sully her name with such accusations,” Alicent spat.

“There are eyes and ears throughout the Keep. If you insist on that sordid companionship I beg that you confine it to your chambers.” Otto replied, his voice lowering to a whisper.

Alicent’s face went hot. She swallowed hard before she cleared her throat and looked away from her father.

“I appreciate your concern, father, but as you have said I am no longer a girl. I understand all that I do.” Alicent turned towards the door. “If that is all the Princess is expecting me.”

Otto turned away and shook his head.

Alicent left the room and hurried to her apartments instead of the library.

Once alone, Alicent downed a goblet of wine. She filled her cup once more and once again downed the wine. She would not let her father interfere. She was happy. She was happy with the princess. She would preserve her happiness for once.

But the more Alicent tried to convince herself the less she believed in the conviction of her words.

-

The days following her conversation with her father were a lot less joyous.

Alicent could not get her father’s words out of her mind. And they unfortunately, plagued her whenever she was with (y/n). As as result their companionship had become strained.

The pair sat across from one another eating dinner together as they had done many times before. Except this time they barely spoke.

It ate (y/n) up inside. Something had changed and she could not fix it because she did not know what had caused it. Still, (y/n) would not give up.

“The ladies of court wonder why you have not called for a needlework gathering in quite some time,” (y/n) said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Alicent furrowed her brow. “You were speaking to the ladies of court?”

(y/n) nodded. “Lady Merryweather is actually quite sweet when Lady Ambrose is not around.”

“Oh,” Alicent replied and took a drink from her goblet.

Alicent was unsure how to feel. On the one hand she was excited that the ladies were finally warming up to (y/n), but on the other Alicent feared the ladies were plotting something and luring (y/n) in.

“Lady Merryweather invited me over for tea. It was nice,” (y/n) said with a soft smile.

Suddenly Alicent did not have the heart to tell (y/n) of her thoughts. So she simply smiled.

Silence descended over them once more.

(y/n) did not like it. She had been so happy by Alicent’s side. She needed to know what caused Alicent to fold in on herself.

(y/n) stopping picking at her plate of food and cleared her throat. “Alicent.”

Alicent met (y/n)’s gaze. “Yes Princess?”

The word hit (y/n)’s chest like a rock. It only strengthened (y/n)’s fears that Alicent was pulling away from her.

(y/n) swallowed hard before she continued.

“I know that as the Queen you have many important duties, and as such we can’t always spend as much time with one another as we would like to but recently I have noticed that uhm...well I...,”(y/n) stopped herself, suddenly unsure of how Alicent would react.

“(y/n) speak plainly,” Alicent urged. Alicent did her best to ignore the nerves in her stomach. Something troubled (y/n), and Alicent knew exactly what it was. She did not wish to have such a conversation but it seemed inevitable.

The Princess took a deep breath. Then she met Alicent’s gaze and spat out her words before she hesitated again.

“I hate that something has come between us. You will deny it but I feel it.”

Alicent sighed and set her fork down. “I will not deny it. I hold you in too high esteem to lie to you.”

A small part of Alicent wished she had lied. It would have avoided the difficult conversation that followed. 

“Have I done something wrong? Did I upset you?” (y/n) reached across the table for Alicent’s hand but Alicent pulled it away. (y/n) frowned. “Was there another rumor about Aemond and I? I do not know why there would be I hardly see him anymore. I-”

“Princess,” Alicent began, hoping to quell some of (y/n)’s hurt.

“Do not call me that,” (y/n) cried. She shot up from her seat. “You cannot imagine how much it hurts to hear you call me that when we are in the privacy of your chambers.”

Alicent softened.

“I’m sorry I did not think- ,” the words caught in Alicent’s throat.She looked away from (y/n), embarrassed she was so careless with her words.

Alicent could not blame all her actions on her father. She had to take some measure of responsibility. She owed (y/n) that much. Alicent took a large drink from her goblet of wine.

(y/n) slowly sat back down. “I apologize, I just hate how distant you are.”

Alicent returned her gaze to (y/n). She reached out for (y/n)’s hand. She would fix things.

(y/n) let Alicent lace their fingers together. She has missed Alicent’s touch more than anything.

“You don’t have to apologize. You have not done anything wrong. There aren’t any rumors of you and Aemond. It’s rumors of you and I that worry me,” Alicent confessed.

“You and I?” (y/n) knit her brows together.

Alicent nodded. “We haven’t exactly been discreet.”

(y/n) looked down at their intertwined hands. “I’m sorry.”

“You have done nothing wrong. Please stop apologizing.”

Alicent squeezed (y/n)’s hand.

(y/n) let go of Alicent’s hand and stood up. “I just don’t know what else to say.”

The Princess walked to the other side of the room and started to pace about.

“I’m scared that the only way to fix things is to be apart from you and now that I know what it is to love you so openly I cannot go back to quiet longing.”

Alicent stood from her seat and walked to (y/n)’s side. She wrapped her arms around the Princess and placed a gentle kiss to the side of (y/n)’s head.

“My darling girl, you are too good to me.”

(y/n) buried her face in Alicent’s shoulder.

“Some days I fear that is not enough for you to choose me,” she murmured.

Guilt flooded inside Alicent. This was not what she wanted. This was not what she wanted (y/n) to feel. Tears pricked at the corners of Alicent’s eyes. She blinked them away.

Crying would do her no good. She had to keep her wits about herself if she was to fix things.

“I promise I will not be so distant. We will have to be more careful but I will never stop loving you.”

(y/n) pulled away slightly. She met Alicent’s gaze.

“I will do whatever it takes to stay by your side.”

Alicent smiled softly at (y/n)’s sweet vow.

“I know you will,” Alicent breathed.

(y/n) placed a tentative kiss on Alicent’s lips. Alicent cupped one of (y/n)’s cheeks and pressed a firmer kiss against them. (y/n) pulled Alicent closer then deepened their kiss.

Outside the walls of Alicent’s apartments, they would have to be Queen and lady in waiting but inside Alicent’s rooms they were equals. They were lovers.

-

A month of carefully planned meetings in the library and sept, of traversing secret corridors in the hour of the bat just to watch the other sleep, and of chaste touches as they passed one another in the halls, (y/n) and her Queen had finally fallen into a routine that worked for them.

The Queen joined the Princess in the library every other day. In the privacy of the library (y/n) and Alicent could be themselves.

The only other person who liked being in the Keep’s library was Aemond, and he had been too preoccupied with Ser Criston in the training yard to bother the pair of lovers.

So (y/n) lay in Alicent’s arms on the chaise lounge that sat beneath the library’s high window without a care in the world.

Alicent braided the Princess’ hair while the Princess read to Alicent.

(y/n) loved the feeling of Alicent’s fingers in her hair. She often had to exert all her will to not let her mind wander to carnal images when she felt Alicent’s fingernails rake over her scalp.

But this time she could not stop the small moan that escaped her lips.

It brought a smile to Alicent’s face.

(y/n)’s face flushed. She sat up and turned to face Alicent.

“I’m sorry I do not know what overcame me.”

Alicent cupped (y/n)’s face. “I liked it.”

(y/n) noted how dark Alicent’s eyes had become.

They had been together for several weeks but never gone further than passionate kisses. (y/n) did not want to push Alicent father than Alicent was comfortable and Alicent did not voice her desires so easily. So the pair often left each other’s company wanting.

A knock on the door pulled them further apart. (y/n) stood and crossed the room to the bookshelf opposite them.

“Come in,” Alicent called out.

Talya entered and faced the Queen. She curtsied.

“Your grace, this just arrived on a raven from Dorne for the Princess.”

Then Talya handed a small scroll to (y/n).

“Thank you Talya,” (y/n) responded.

“You may go now,” Alicent added.

Talya nodded and left the library.

“Does you father write to you often?” Alicent asked as she stood and approached (y/n).

“Almost every day. Whenever my father would leave Sunspear on business he would write to me often and I promised I would do the same now that I was the one away.”

(y/n) unfurled the scroll and started to read. Alicent stood nearby (y/n) and waited for the Princess to tell her the content of the letter.

Alicent watched as the Princess’ bright smile disappeared.

First, a frown replaced it then (y/n) furrowed her brows.

“Is everything alright at Sunspear,” Alicent asked as the Princess’ expression started to concern her.

The Princess crumpled the letter in her hands and looked up to meet Alicent’s gaze.

“You lied to me,” (y/n) accused. 

Tears pooled in (y/n)’s eyes, but she would not shed them. Alicent had lied to her face. Everything had been a mummer’s farce, with (y/n) as the fool.

Alicent’s brows knit together. “What? Lie to you? I don’t understand.”

Alicent did her best not to let her rising anxiety overtake her. She did not like the look of anger on (y/n)’s features. It worried her.

(y/n) balled her fists. “My father wrote that I am betrothed to Aemond. That you knew, and conspired with the King and my father. You were all worried I would not come willingly if I knew of the betrothal.”

Alicent reached out to hold (y/n)’s hand but the Princess stepped away from Alicent. Alicent’s heart sank.

“Please, let me explain,” Alicent pleaded, anxiety now overwhelming her.

“What else is there to say? You lied to me. Every day since I arrived you looked at me and lied to me.” (y/n) looked away from Alicent.

“I wanted to tell you my love,” Alicent babbled, terrified that she would lose (y/n) if she did not explain herself.

“Don’t! Don’t call me that,” (y/n) shouted, her eyes alight with rage.

Alicent recoiled. She had never seen (y/n) so upset. She had not seen this side of the Princess.

“Do not ever call me that again.” (y/n) proclaimed. Her resolve withered and the tears she had held back started to stream down the sides of her face.

Alicent felt a river of her own tears staining her cheeks. “Don’t say such things (y/n). Please allow me to explain.”

(y/n) shook her head. “No I...I can’t look at you anymore.”

Then (y/n) marched out of the library without turning back. Alicent called out for her but (y/n) did not stop.

She did not want to go back to her chambers. She knew Alicent would look for her there. She did not want to be around anyone.

-

(y/n) watched as Vhagar ate the sheep she had brought her. (y/n) sat a safe distance away from the she-dragon.

To her surprise, the dragon did not attempt to scare her off. It stirred when (y/n) approached, and grumbled when it noticed the sheep, but it did not roar at (y/n). Vhagar didn’t seem to mind her presence so long as (y/n) kept her distance.

The Princess was not sure how to feel. Everything had been a fabrication of her father and the King’s making. She was betrothed and would be forced to marry. She would be confined to the Red Keep the rest of her life. She wanted to cry but no tears would form.

“I’ve decided that you are the most foolish woman I have ever known,” came a familiar and once welcomed voice behind her.

(y/n) did not turn to face her friend, and now betrothed.

“I came here to be alone,” she replied.

Aemond sat down next to her.

“Well that is my dragon so..” Aemond smiled but quickly realized the Princess was in no mood for it.

Aemond cleared his throat.

“I know that we have not been as close as we once were but I hope that the thought of marrying me isn’t too distressing.”

(y/n) turned to him, a frown on her face. “You knew?”

Aemond looked away from (y/n).

“Not at first. My mother only revealed the truth when I....,” Aemond trailed off.

(y/n) furrowed her brow. “When what?”

Aemond blushed. “It feels foolish to admit.”

“Aemond, if we are to be wed I only ask that you do not withhold anything from me. I cannot bear more lies,” (y/n) confessed.

“You’re right,” Aemond declared. He met (y/n)’s gaze once more. “I asked my mother permission to petition your father for your hand in marriage.”

Now it was (y/n) who blushed and looked away.

“You wanted to marry me?”

Aemond let out a small laugh. “Of course? What man wouldn’t want to marry someone like you? You’re perfect.”

“I’m far from it,” (y/n) mumbled.

“If you wish it, I could try to speak with my father and see if there is a way to end our betrothal.”

(y/n) met Aemond’s gaze. She shook her head. “That is very kind of you Aemond but I’m afraid that our marriage is inevitable.”

“I’m sorry,” Aemond professed.

“It is not that marrying you is upsetting, Aemond. I merely swore an oath I would never marry anyone.” (y/n) reached out and held Aemond’s hand.

There was no harm in it now. He was her betrothed.

Aemond ran his thumb across (y/n)’s palm.

“I’m sorry you have to break that vow.”

(y/n) sighed. “Me too.”

“I promise I will be a good husband to you (y/n). My devotion for you is boundless.” Aemond stared at (y/n) lovingly.

Guilt ate at (y/n)’s heart. She could never return such devotion.

(y/n) took a deep breath. She would not keep her truth from Aemond. Not after she had made such a fuss about being lied to. If she had asked Aemond not to withhold information from her, she had to do the same.

“I do not deserve your devotion Aemond. I can never return it,” (y/n) began.

“I would not rush you (y/n). In time-”

(y/n) let go of Aemond’s hand and pressed her hand against his chest. Aemond stopped talking.

“No Aemond.” (y/n) swallowed hard. She had never revealed the truth about herself to anyone outside her family, not unless they were her lover.  “I hold you in high esteem but I am not...I cannot...I am incapable of loving you as a wife is supposed to love her husband.”

Aemond knit his eyebrows together. “I know the idea of marriage troubles you but-”

(y/n) shook her head. “Aemond please listen to me.” She reached up and cupped the Prince’s face. “I could never love any man. Those feelings are only ever brought forth inside me by beautiful women.”

Aemond’s eyebrows shot up before he pulled away from (y/n)’s touch. He looked away from her and frowned.

(y/n) held her breath. She hoped Aemond’s affection for her was greater than his dedication to the Faith.

Finally Aemond nodded slowly. “I see.” Aemond stood then turned to look at (y/n). “Excuse me.”

Before (y/n) could respond Aemond walked away and towards his dragon. (y/n) wanted to call after him but she knew it was best to let Aemond process the information on his own.

Aemond mounted Vhagar and flew up into the skies.

-

The next day, Aemond anxiously made his way to (y/n)’s chambers.

He had rudely cut their conversation short and ridden off on his dragon. He had not seen the Princess since.

Aemond had to apologize.

While on dragonback he realized that the Princess had no more control that he over matters of the heart. It was hard for him to accept that the woman he so adored could never return such adoration but Aemond knew that the Princess held him in high esteem. He would find a way to be content by her side. It was his duty as Prince of the realm to go forward with the marriage.

The only way to end the betrothal would be to expose the Princess, and Aemond could never betray her in such a way.

When he arrived to the Princess’ chambers he was surprised to see two members of the kingsguard standing watch outside her door.

Both knights greeted Aemond. Aemond greeted them back and asked to see the Princess. One of the knights opened the door for Aemond.

Aemond entered to find the Princess at her desk, writing on some parchment.

She looked up when Aemond entered her room. “Prince Aemond,” she said as she stood.

“It’s just Aemond, remember,” Aemond chided.

The Princess smiled warmly. “I was not sure if the secret I shared with you when last we met had changed things between us.”

Aemond stepped into the room and clasped his hands behind his back.

“I understand. I rushed off without saying much. I came to apologize.”

The Princess stepped out from behind the desk and approached Aemond.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I know it could not have been easy to hear such things.”  Then (y/n) motioned to the settee nearby. “Please sit,” she instructed.

Aemond did so, and the Princess sat opposite him in front of the roaring hearth.

“I thought about many things while riding amongst the clouds. I realized it would be unfair of me to hold such a disposition against you. You are no more in control of your heart than I am. But when you first told me I...” Aemond cleared his throat. “I care for you, deeply, (y/n). I have never felt this way about a woman before. So when you spoke about your inclinations, I could not bear it.”

(y/n) softened. “I’m so sorry Aemond. If any of my actions ever led you to believe that I felt the same...well I do care for you but not in the way you care for me, unfortunately.”

Aemond smiled weakly. “It is okay (y/n). I will strive to be a dutiful husband to you regardless.”

(y/n) leaned forward and reached out towards Aemond. Aemond let her hold his hand.

“And I will be a good wife to you. I will always stand by you, and I will do my duty.” (y/n) gave Aemond’s hand a squeeze. “In truth, if I am forced to marry I am glad it is to you.”

Aemond blushed and looked away from the Princess. “You are?”

“You are a good man Aemond. I am blessed it is you.”

(y/n) meant every word. She often wondered who her husband would end up being. (y/n) knew her father would eventually marry her off, out of necessity or his misguided intentions to seek what he thought was best for his daughter.

In the kindest of versions, she married a lord who did not care for her and left her alone to do as she pleased. In the harshest of versions...(y/n) never let her thoughts linger in those.

So she was indeed thankful her husband would be Aemond. He was her friend, and they shared many interests. Aemond was kind, and always made her laugh. She trusted him implicitly.

“Thank you,” Aemond replied.

(y/n) let go of Aemond’s hand, stood up and sat next to him.

“I know we are not married yet but...should you wish to warm another woman’s bed know that I will never hold it against you.”

Aemond could not meet (y/n)’s gaze. “(y/n)..”

(y/n) laughed. “I do not say that to embarrass you Aemond. I just wish you to know that I am aware that you have needs as a man that I cannot meet, and I would never be upset with you for seeking that comfort elsewhere.”

Aemond nodded and looked at the Princess. “(y/n), you are very kind but I will be content by your side. I feel a closeness to you that I have never felt with anyone else.”

(y/n) smiled in response.

A moment of silence passed between them before Aemond spoke again.

“So, why do you have guards outside your door?”

“Your mother- I’m sorry, the Queen,” (y/n) said with irritation laced in her tone. “Assigned two of the kingsguards to me. She claimed I am often difficult to find, and that the knights are for my safety.” (y/n) rolled her eyes.

Aemond laughed. “I thought you and my mother were friends.”

“We were,” (y/n) replied and looked down at her hands.

“What happened?” Aemond asked, noting the shift in (y/n)’s demeanor.

(y/n) looked at Aemond. “She lied to me about our betrothal. She kept it from me all these months.”

“In her defense your father had sworn her and the King to secrecy.”

(y/n) frowned. “As my betrothed you should be taking my side Aemond.”

Aemond chuckled. “I will always be on your side (y/n), but it seems unfair you hold such betrayal against my mother but have forgiven me.”

“You’re right,” (y/n) replied with a sigh.

Aemond playfully bumped his shoulder against the Princess’.

“If you make amends I’m sure you won’t need guards anymore.”

(y/n) nodded. “Then I’ll do so at once. I hate feeling like a prisoner.”

Aemond laughed. “Prisoners are not given such views of the keep,” Aemond said and pointed towards the Princess’ balcony.

(y/n) smiled, and agreed. Maybe she had been too harsh on Alicent. When it came to the Queen (y/n) had a difficult time thinking clearly. Her heart guided her more than her mind did.

-

Later that same day, (y/n) had another visitor.

The Queen had invited (y/n) to dine with her but (y/n) had refused. She had promised Aemond she would make amends but her lover’s betrayal still stung.

Alicent marched into the room. “You are acting like a child, (y/n).”

(y/n) was resting on the chaise she set up in front of her fireplace. She had already changed into her nightgown. (y/n) looked up from the book she was reading but did not stand.

“Good evening your grace, or should I call you my captor seeing as how I have guards following my every move.”

Alicent stepped closer, and lowered her gaze to meet (y/n)’s. She frowned.

“No one was able to find you (y/n), and I will remind you it was not for the first time. What else am I to do to ensure your safety?”

(y/n) set her book aside and stood up. “I am plenty safe.”

The Princess and the Queen stood a forearm’s length apart from one another.

“You went to see Vhagar. You could have been killed,” Alicent argued.

“But I was not.” (y/n) said and stepped closer to the Queen.

Alicent closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them she met (y/n)’s gaze. Alicent softened as she looked upon her lover’s face.

“Did you not stop to think of me? Running off to seek your doom with such a creature,” Alicent whispered, her anger depleted.

(y/n)’s will threatened to falter after hearing the softness in Alicent’s voice. But then she recalled her father’s letter and she remembered why she was so upset.

“Did you think of me when you lied to my face every day?”

The Queen reached across to (y/n). (y/n) stepped away.

Alicent sighed. “You’re being difficult,” she remarked.

“How else is a captive supposed to act?”

(y/n) knew she was being difficult but she could not stop herself. Knowing that Alicent loved her, truly loved her, made the fact that she kept the betrothal a secret hurt that much more. Yes, it was at her father’s insistence but it hurt that Alicent did not tell her once their romance had begun.

“I came here to apologize,” Alicent said and closed the gap between them.

(y/n) did not step away so Alicent took another tentative step towards (y/n). Then she reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind (y/n)’s ear.

(y/n)’s anger almost dissipated at Alicent’s touch. But her will was resolute. She met Alicent’s gaze.

“Then do so,” (y/n) challenged.

Alicent shook her head softly. “You are so....”

(y/n) edged forwards until she felt Alicent’s breath on her lips.

“What? What am I, your grace?”

Alicent licked her lips as she looked at (y/n)’s. Her heart thrummed in her ears. She had not been so close to the Princess in what felt like a long time.

But she regained her composure and stepped away from the Princess. She cleared her throat and turned to face (y/n) once Alicent was far enough away as to think clearly.

“(y/n), I hated lying to you. I did not think I would fall in love with you when I agreed to keep the secret. Then you arrived and you...changed my whole world,” Alicent professed with a fond smile on her face.

(y/n)’s resolve finally softened. She sighed and approached Alicent once more. She wrapped her arms around the Queen.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been cruel,” she whispered into the crook of Alicent’s neck.

Alicent relaxed when (y/n)’s arms engulfed her. She wrapped her arms around the Princess and held her tight.

“The mummer’s farce I was privy to was cruel. Your response was justified.”

(y/n) pulled away, but remained in the Queen’s arms. The princess met the Queen’s gaze.

“I will marry Aemond.”

Alicent’s brows raised. “You will?”

“I will do whatever it takes to remain by your side...Alicent,” (y/n) replied, making sure to emphasize that she called the Queen by her name and not her title.

Alicent smiled. Then she kissed (y/n) chastely on the lips.

(y/n) let out a small laugh. “I love you,” she whispered.

Alicent pressed her forehead against the Princess’.

“And I love you (y/n).”

The lovers held each other for a few more moments before they settled next to one another on (y/n)’s settee. Alicent rested her head on (y/n)’s shoulder as (y/n) read her book aloud to the Queen.

-

Following their reconciliation, the Queen and the Princess were back to their usual routine.

Every night, unless the Queen needed to attend to the King, (y/n) would sneak out of her chambers using the tunnels and secret passages carved out by King Maegor in order to reach Alicent’s sleeping chamber.

So when night arrived, (y/n) grabbed her favorite book and made her way to the Queen’s apartments.

The secret passages were cold and dark but (y/n) had long mastered them. She knew the way to Alicent’s apartments by heart.

(y/n) entered the Queen’s apartments via the tunnels then and made her way to the Queen’s sleeping chamber.

She knocked softly on the door.

“Come in,” Alicent called.

(y/n) opened the door and entered. She stayed by the entrance.

“Alicent,” (y/n) asked.

She looked about the room and did not see the Queen.

Then suddenly Alicent emerged from behind a privacy screen, wearing her nightgown. Alicent beamed when she laid eyes on (y/n). “I’m here love.”

(y/n) returned the Queen’s smile.

“Shall we?” (y/n) asked and motioned to the book in her arms.

Alicent nodded and climbed into bed. She settled before inviting (y/n) to sit next to her.

(y/n) climbed in on the other side of the bed and sat facing Alicent. She opened the book and placed it in her lap.

“What will you read me tonight, my love?”

“Well,” (y/n) shifted in bed, not meeting Alicent’s gaze. “I had hoped you wouldn’t mind if we read a chapter from a book I brought from Dorne.”

“Of course, why would I object,” Alicent asked, brows knit together.

Alicent did not like the mischievous smile on (y/n)’s face.

“The book I wish to read from is A Wanton’s Tale: A Caution for Young Girls..”

(y/n) met Alicent’s gaze. Alicent went red in the face.

“Are you mad,” she hissed. “That book is pure filth.”

(y/n) set the book aside and reached out for Alicent’s hands. Alicent didn’t pull away. (y/n) laced her fingers with Alicent’s.

“So you have been told but it truly is a most engrossing read,” (y/n) implored.

Alicent searched (y/n)’s face. “If anyone knew you possessed such a book, (y/n) it would be-”

“No one knows. No one but you, my beloved.” (y/n) inched closer. She pressed a kiss to Alicent’s knuckles. “Let me share my most favorite passage at the very least,” she pleaded.

Alicent closed her eyes and sighed. Then she looked at (y/n) and smiled softly.

“I cannot say no to you,” she confessed.

(y/n) smiled and placed a chaste kiss to Alicent’s lips before settling back on the bed and grabbing the book beside her.

Alicent let out a small laugh before she laid back against the pillows.

(y/n) cleared her throat then began to read. She read the passage that detailed Lady Coryanne Wylde’s time as a lover for a corsair queen in the Basilisk Isles. The passage began with Lady Wylde describing the way the pirate queen would summon her to the captain’s quarters every night.

“(y/n), this is not-,” Alicent protested.

(y/n) reached out and touched Alicent’s leg. The touch brought forth a fire from beneath the many layers of sheets. Alicent’s breath caught in her throat.

“Please, I want...I need you to listen,” (y/n) implored.

Alicent nodded, so (y/n) continued to read the passage.

“The corsair queen was insatiable and her touch was brutal. Night after night she brought forth endless pleasure and pain in equal amounts. I was helpless and most pliable under her skilled touch. The ghost of her tongue in my mouth and her fingers in my sex haunted me into the early hours of morning,” (y/n) read aloud, the pace of her reading slowing as she neared the end of the passage.

Alicent swallowed hard. “Maybe you should stop,” she whispered.

(y/n) met her gaze. The Princess’ eyes were dark and hungry.

“Why?”

Alicent pressed her legs together hoping that would quell the pulsing between them. She looked away from (y/n). “This isn’t...I don’t understand what you seek to accomplish with this.”

“I think you do, Ali,” (y/n) countered.

(y/n) set the book aside. She pressed a hand to Alicent’s leg once more.

Alicent whipped her head towards (y/n) and sat up. “What are you doing?”

(y/n) locked eyes with Alicent.

“Tell me to stop, and I will,” (y/n) promised.

Alicent held her breath as (y/n) crept towards her. The Princess straddled Alicent and gently pushed the Queen back against the pillows.

“Relax,” (y/n) murmured.

Alicent nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

(y/n)’s hand trailed down Alicent’s chest. Alicent’s nightgown covered almost everything but it stopped at the base of her neck. (y/n) fingered the endless chain of buttons that ran down the front of the nightgown.

“I memorized my favorite part of the passage,” (y/n) uttered while her focus remained on the cavalcade of buttons. “Would you like to hear it, Ali?”

Alicent couldn’t speak. She could not breathe. Never could she have imagined the Princess in her lap, (y/n)’s body pressed against her own.

(y/n) looked up at the Queen. She realized Alicent was not breathing. (y/n) panicked and cupped the Queen’s face.

“Breathe, my sweet, breathe,” she urged.

Finally, Alicent let out the breath she had been holding. The alarm flooded in as the air escaped her.

“We should not- please (y/n) we can’t,” Alicent rambled. She closed her eyes.

(y/n) held the Queen’s face firmly in her grip. “Look at me.”

Alicent opened her eyes and met (y/n)’s gaze.

“Tell me to stop. Tell me to get off. I will if you desire it,” (y/n) promised.

“I know not what I desire,” Alicent professed with a sigh.

(y/n) stroked Alicent’s cheeks with her thumbs.

“You do know. How do you feel when I do this,” (y/n) said before she dropped her hand and ran it down Alicent’s chest, her fingers ghosting against the Queen’s breast.

Alicent gasped. A fire lit inside her.

(y/n) held the Queen’s gaze. (y/n) waited for the Queen to respond.

“I....I-,” Alicent stuttered.

(y/n)’s hand rested on the Queen’s stomach. She thumbed a button before she undid one, then another, then another. Three, four, five buttons undone.

Alicent watched (y/n) slide her hand inside the opening she had made.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” (y/n) reiterated.

Then it dawned on Alicent. She did not want (y/n) to stop.

But she could never say it out loud.

(y/n) searched Alicent’s face for any sign of discomfort. She found none. Instead she found her own desire mirrored in the Queen’s eyes.

But (y/n) knew the Queen would never profess such a desire....not willingly.

(y/n) felt the Queen’s skin underneath the silk nightgown, soft and warm. Every part of her wanted to rip the nightgown off and ravage her lover. She wanted to devour Alicent.

But her desire would have to wait.

Alicent grabbed (y/n)’s forearm.

“Stop,” she whispered through deep breaths. “Please.”

(y/n) removed her hand and got off the Queen. Then the Princess got off the bed and gathered her book.

Alicent frowned and rushed out of her bed. “You don’t have to leave (y/n). I’m sorry. While the King lives I cannot lie with you,” Alicent implored.

(y/n) faced Alicent.

“No, Ali it’s not- It’s not because you asked me to stop. I....,” (y/n) felt her face grow hot. She looked away from the Queen. “I have to go. I’m too...”

“Too what,” Alicent asked, brow furrowed.

“I’m burning for you Alicent. My body is aching with desire to touch you,” (y/n) confessed, still not meeting the Queen’s gaze.

Alicent did not reply. She could not. What could she say? Surely not the truth. Alicent could never tell (y/n) that her pulsing between her legs had grown into painful throbbing. So Alicent turned away from (y/n).

(y/n) took this as a sign to leave. She rushed out of the room and out of the Queen’s apartments. She ran down the tunnels and did not stop until she reached her chambers.

Once alone, (y/n) tore her dress off and burrowed underneath the sheets of her bed. She closed her eyes as one hand trailed down to her sex, and the other cupped her breast.

“The pirate queen held me down with one rough and callused hand while she thrust three fingers inside my slit with the other. I was slick with desire and throbbing from the pirate’s brutish teasing,” (y/n) recited as her mind filled with images of Alicent.

The Princess slipped a finger inside herself. A gentle moan escaped her lips. She recalled the warmth of Alicent’s bare skin. The fire inside her grew into a roaring blaze. The Princess quickened her pace and thought of the taste of Alicent’s kiss. She bit her lip and cried out the Queen’s name as she reached her climax. (y/n) opened her eyes and attempted to catch her breath.

Now alone in her sleeping chamber, Alicent laid down and stared at the ceiling. The throbbing between her legs had not gone away. Her fingers itched to touch but Alicent knew not what. She had no knowledge, no prior experience, no direction for the need that engulfed her.

So she thought back to the sordid story (y/n) had recited to her.

A corsair queen, and a young lady of noble birth....Alicent’s mind swirled with lustful thoughts of (y/n). The memory of (y/n)’s fingers on her bare stomach brought forth a new arousal. Alicent closed her eyes and let the thoughts and feelings direct her touch.

Alicent undid her nightgown, recalling the sensation of (y/n) fingering each button along her chest. She bit down on her lip as a moan threatened to escape her.

Once her skin was bare, the draft from the window bringing forth goose pimples along her stomach, Alicent slid her hand down her body until she reached a part of her that she had never associated with pleasure.

That part of her was meant for duty. The duty of marriage. The duty of motherhood.

But now....now she touched herself, not with obligation in mind, but with the immense intensity of her desire for the Dornish Princess.

Tentative touches turned to impatient, and hungry kneading. Dripping with desire Alicent found it harder to reach the pressure that felt good. So she slowly slid a finger inside herself.

Alicent gasped.

It felt good.

Alicent sped up her pace as thoughts of (y/n) filled her mind. She thought of the way (y/n) crawled over to Alicent and straddled her. Of the way (y/n)’s hips bucked against her thighs when she had sat on Alicent’s lap. She recalled the way (y/n)’s chest heaved through heavy pants when she confessed of her carnal desire for Alicent. Alicent thought of the lust written all over (y/n)’s face

Her stomach tightened. Alicent felt a fire build inside her, one that threatened to overwhelm her senses.

Alicent’s mind inundated with the sound of (y/n) calling her, “Ali.”

The Princess had never called her that before, and she had spoken the name with such reverence. Alicent quickened her pace and thrust another finger inside her.

“(y/n),” Alicent whispered as she felt herself reach the edge of her desire.

Alicent bit down hard on her lip as a surge of pleasure washed over her. Her mind froze and she could only picture (y/n) in the yellow nightgown that hugged her curves. Another moan threatened to escape so Alicent bit her lip even harder. So hard that she drew a drop of blood.

It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. The warmth that filled her afterwards left a dazed smile on her face. Alicent licked her lips, and took steadying breaths.

Once she had calmed down and the throbbing between her legs had vanished, the remorse flooded in.

Gods, what had she just done?

-

The following day, (y/n) found it difficult to get a moment alone with the Queen. Ser Criston insisted the Queen was busy with her many duties to the realm.

But (y/n) knew the truth, she had crossed a line with Alicent. She had pushed Alicent too far that night. (y/n) felt like a fool. She had given in to her desire without a care as to how Alicent would feel.

The Princess knew that she had to take things slow. Alicent was not like her. Alicent did not have her experience.

All (y/n) wanted to do was make it up to Alicent, to apologize, but it seemed as though Alicent did not want to give her such an opportunity.

(y/n) made her way to the library. She did not want to spend her day alone, and knew Aemond would be there. She knew Aemond would comfort her as he always did.

-

Alicent felt cruel, once again lying to (y/n), but she could barely look at herself without feeling deep shame and embarrassment.

She had debased herself that night. She needed to go to the sept and repent.

But Alicent had not gone. She had not prayed.

She would not deny how good she felt after reaching her climax, or how peacefully she had slept that night. If Alicent was being honest with herself, she had never slept so well.

So Alicent buried herself in her duties, and asked Criston to turn (y/n) away should the Princess come looking for her. 

Alicent did not want to see the Princess until her thoughts and feelings aligned more clearly.

-

(y/n) made her way to the Queen’s apartments to break fast as was their custom. She hoped the Queen would see her that morning, and that whatever offense she had caused had been forgiven.

Ser Criston stood watch, as he always did. He saw the Princess approach and sighed.

“The Queen is otherwise occupied, Princess. She cannot break fast with you today,” he said stoically.

(y/n) sighed. “Will you inform her that I stopped by?”

The knight nodded. “Of course Princess.”

(y/n) turned around and walked down the hall. Once again she found herself walking to the library.

Thankfully, Aemond was there. He looked up and smiled when he saw her.

“Morning (y/n).”

(y/n) smiled back halfheartedly.

Aemond frowned. “What troubles you today?”

“The same that troubled me last we spoke,” (y/n) replied and settled on the chaise underneath the high window.

“My mother? Do you hold her in such high esteem that not breaking fast together causes you such pain?” Aemond joked.

(Y/N) closed her eyes and frowned.

“I do indeed Aemond. She is not simply your mother. She is the Queen of the realm and has done so much for me in court. It pains me that I do not know why she spurns me so.”

“My mother can be capricious. This will pass (y/n).”

“I hope so.”

Aemond closed the book he was reading and stood up. He walked to (y/n), and patted the Princess’ legs. The Princess sat up and allowed Aemond space to sit beside her.

“Let us move on to lighter conversation,” Aemond said with a glint in his eye.

(y/n) did not like the smirk that spread across Aemond’s face.

“What did you have in mind?”

“I have a few questions, now that we are betrothed and we have no secrets between us.”

(y/n) nodded slowly. “That sounds reasonable.”

“Have you kissed another girl?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes then swatted Aemond’s arm. “You are a fool,” she teased.

Aemond laughed. “It would be embarrassing if my wife to be has more experience than I when it comes to women.”

(y/n) laughed alongside Aemond. “That is true.”

Aemond playfully knocked his shoulder against (y/n)’s. “So?”

“Fine...I have kissed another woman before. In truth, I have done quite a lot with many women back in Sunspear,” (y/n) confessed.

“You dog,” Aemond chided with a smile.

The pair laughed once more.

“How does that work, with two women?”

(y/n) looked over at Aemond. She noted that his question seemed earnest. (y/n) patted Aemond’s cheek softly.

“My husband to be you have much to learn.”

Aemond and the Princess once again burst into laughter.

The (y/n) settled and stared at Aemond. She knew Aemond cared for her, and he seemed to embrace who she truly was, but she was not sure if he would forgive her for loving his mother.

“Aemond,” (y/n) began, unsure if this was the right moment to ask.

Aemond met the Princess’ gaze. “Yes?”

“You are my ally, correct?”

Aemond nodded. “Of course. There is nothing I would not do for you (y/n).”

(y/n) looked down at her hands in her lap. “Would you still feel that way if I...cared for another woman.”

“You mean love her, as I love you?”

(y/n) nodded.

Aemond took a deep breath and pondered the Princess’ query. After a moment he turned to (y/n).

“I would.”

(y/n) smiled. “Thank you.”

Aemond returned the Princess’ smile. “I am to be your husband (y/n), and I will keep your secrets as a husband should. You never have to lie to me. We are one.”

(y/n) reached out and wrapped her arms around Aemond.

“I am so thankful it is you who I will marry,” she whispered.

Aemond held the Princess tight. He still felt a sting in his heart every time he was reminded that (y/n) would never love him as he loved her but he did his best to ignore it.

The pair pulled apart. 

“Will you tell me who this woman is that has captured your heart?”

(y/n) blushed furiously. “Her true nature is not mine to divulge.” She met Aemond’s gaze. “As much as I would like to tell you everything, I can’t.”

Aemond nodded slowly. “I understand.”

(y/n) bit her lip before she spoke again.

“But...I will seek your counsel on something that troubles me about her.”

Aemond perked up. “Go on. I will do my best though I am not as experienced in matters of the heart.”

(y/n) took a deep breath to settle her nerves.

“The woman I love is highborn, and dedicated to the Faith. As such she tends to push me away when we get too close.”

Aemond nodded. “Any woman raised in the Faith will struggle to forget all that was taught to her, especially what is taught about marriage. You must have patience (y/n).”

“I do. I understand it is difficult for her. I just wish she would talk to me about such struggles and not isolate from me,” (y/n) replied with a deep sigh.

“Then I would urge you to be bold. Be bold and demand that she speak with you and not push you away. You deserve a partner in all aspects (y/n).”

(y/n) nodded. “Thank you Aemond. Your counsel is most wise.”

A knock turned their heads to towards the doors of the library.

“Enter,” Aemond commanded.

 Talya entered and greeted them both.

“Another scroll from Dorne, Princess.”

Then Talya approached the Princess and Aemond where they sat. She handed the Princess the scroll.

“Thank you Talya,” (y/n) said.

Talya bowed her head and left the pair alone once more.

“Who will they betroth me to next,” (y/n) joked as she unfurled the scroll.

Aemond let out a small laugh. “I pity the man they choose.”

(y/n) scanned the parchment. Her eyes went wide with fear. Aemond furrowed his brows.

“What is wrong (y/n)?”

(y/n) swallowed hard. “It is from my father. He states that he and my sister will venture to King’s Landing.

“Is that not good news?” Aemond asked, confused.

(y/n) crumpled the letter in her hand.

“Aemond, my father would not journey so far without good reason. He states it is to help wedding preparations but he would not venture all this way merely for that.”

The Princess stood and Aemond mirrored her.

“You think he has more sinister ambitions?”

(y/n) shook her head as she paced in front of Aemond.

“Not sinister, but I know there is more than he is telling me.”

Aemond nodded slowly. “My mother must know about this. There are many preparations to be made for the Prince’s arrival. Go to her,” he urged.

“But she does not wish to see me,” (y/n) protested.

Aemond waved (y/n) off.

“She will set such pettiness aside. My mother cares for the realm above all.”

(y/n) bit her lip, still unsure. Then she nodded. She would have to be bold, as Aemond had advised.

-

(y/n) approached the Queen’s apartments. Ser Criston saw the Princess and sighed loudly.

“The Queen is busy,” Ser Criston proclaimed.

(y/n) did not believe him. Alicent was the Queen but not even she was so busy. (y/n) crossed her arms against her chest.

“I am not leaving without seeing the Queen.”

Ser Criston shrugged. “You may wait outside but you cannot enter.”

(y/n) stewed in her anger. She had to think of a way to get inside.

So she turned away from the door. The Princess acted as though she was leaving down the hall. Then suddenly she turned back around and dashed to the door.

Ser Criston caught her just as she had pushed past him, but she had made it in enough that the Queen saw their struggle.

“Ser Criston?” Alicent called out.

Ser Criston let go. (y/n) surged forwards.

“Something terrible has happened,” (y/n) declared.

Ser Criston trailed behind her. He looked at the Queen and sighed. 

“Apologies your grace. Princess (y/n) pushed past me.”

(y/n) frowned. “You’re the Queen’s sworn shield. I should not have been able to push past you.”

Ser Criston clenched his jaw but did not reply.

Alicent noticed Criston tense.

“You may go Ser Criston.”

Criston nodded and left the Princess alone with the Queen.

The Queen sat at her writing desk, with various correspondence strewn in front of her. The Queen did not stand and did not meet (y/n)’s gaze. Instead she looked down at the letters and resumed her work.

“Now what is so terrible?” She asked without looking up.

(y/n) walked to the desk and dropped the letter onto the table.

“My sister and father journey to King’s Landing. They claim it’s to give their support in preparing for my wedding but I doubt that is the whole of it.”

The Queen grabbed the letter and read it for herself. Her brows furrowed.

“I have not even thought of wedding preparations. Is this not sudden?”

Alicent looked up. (y/n) noted that Alicent looked tired, as though she had not slept well.

(y/n) nodded. “It is but you won’t have to make any preparations with Coryanne at the Keep.”

“You think she would take such an interest in it,” Alicent asked, nerves building inside her.

Alicent thought she would have more time. Time to at least come to terms with the idea of her love marrying her son. Now it was all happening so fast.

(y/n) shrugged. “I cannot say for certain but Coryanne has sought to control absolutely everything since I was a child.”

“You’re not close?”

Alicent had always thought (y/n) close to her family. She had always spoken of them with such affection. But Alicent realized she had not spoken much about her sister Coryanne.

“Gods no. She is as cunning as a fox, and as treacherous as a viper. Ever since her betrothed died she has made sure to be involved with all major and minor decisions my father makes. One would think she is the heir to Dorne and not Aliandra.” (y/n) huffed.

Alicent sighed. “No matter. There is much to be done to make sure the Prince is properly greeted and housed upon his arrival.”  The Queen stood from her desk. “We should call for Talya. We need to make preparations at once.”

(y/n) bit the inside of her cheek and looked away from the Queen. Alicent noticed (y/n) had gone quiet.

“Is there something more,” Alicent asked.

“There is one more thing I should share with you regarding my sister,” (y/n) confessed, wincing slightly.

“What is it?”

(y/n) sat down in the chair opposite Alicent’s desk. She took a deep breath before she met the Queen’s gaze.

“I have no secrets Coryanne does not know. Not because I have freely expressed them with her, but because she always finds them out.”

Alicent sank back down to her seat.

“Do you think she would...,” Alicent asked and trailed off, not able to finish.

(y/n) nodded. “I do.”

Alicent leaned back in her seat. “So what does that mean for us?”

“I don’t know,” (y/n) said with a shrug.

Silence descended on the Queen and the Princess.

(y/n) did not wish to lie to Alicent. Coryanne was smart and cunning. (y/n) had always done her best to avoid confrontation with her sister.

Alicent stared out towards the windows. A pensive look crossed her face. 

The Princess fiddled with her fingers while she waited for Alicent to say something, anything at all.

When she realized Alicent would not say anything, and could no longer stand the awkward silence (y/n) cleared her throat to speak.

“I will do my best to thwart whatever plots Coryanne concocts but I know it will be a challenge.”

Alicent nodded and returned her gaze to (y/n). “I trust that you will, (y/n).”

(y/n) leaned forwards, closer to Alicent. “I would also like to apologize for my actions the other night. I should not have forced myself upon you as I did. It won’t happen again Alicent.”

Alicent’s heart ached. She looked away from the Princess.

“I...It was not that (y/n).”

(y/n) furrowed her brows. “Then why did you refuse to see me all day?”

Alicent stood up and moved away from her desk. She turned her back to (y/n).

“I cannot say, it is too....humiliating,” Alicent mumbled and felt her face go hot.

(y/n) stood and walked towards the Queen. “You can tell me anything Ali.”

At the sound of that pet name Alicent’s body was flooded with a now familiar fire.

(y/n) noted the way Alicent’s body tensed. She frowned once more.

“Did I say something wrong?”

Alicent shook her head softly. Then she turned to face (y/n).

“No, my love it is just that...you never called me such a name before that night and it-,” Alicent swallowed hard. She could not bring herself to say it.

But she loved (y/n), so she would swallow her shame and tell the Princess the truth. She had promised to only speak the truth so she would keep true to her word.

Alicent cleared her throat.

“That night, after you left I....” Alicent groaned. She walked to the settee near her and sat down. She covered her face with her hands. “I was ablaze with desire as well. There was a powerful, almost painful, throbbing between my legs and I...Well I- Gods this is difficult. I-”

(y/n) walked to where Alicent sat and placed a gentle hand on Alicent’s shoulder.

“You don’t need to say another word. I understand,” (y/n) said in soothing tone.

The Princess didn’t need Alicent to finish. She knew where things were headed by the way Alicent could not look her in the eye.

A wave of gratitude washed over Alicent. She dropped her hands and relaxed her shoulders a bit. She looked up at (y/n), a small smile spreading across her face.

“Thank you.”

(y/n) returned Alicent’s smile but said nothing.

Alicent let out a nervous laugh.

“You must think me foolish for not being able to talk about such actions.”

(y/n) sat down next to Alicent reached out for the Queen’s hand. “I would never think such a thing of you.” (y/n) laced their fingers together. “In truth, I committed the same act once in the privacy of my own chamber.”

Alicent raised her brows. “Oh.”

(y/n) looked down at their entwined hands. “I would still like to apologize, for rushing things. I know you are new to loving a woman and I promise I will be more patient. I do not wish to scare you off.”

Alicent gave (y/n)’s hand a squeeze. (y/n) looked back up at Alicent.

“You could never scare me off (y/n). I know that in the past I have been easily swayed but last night...I did not ever think myself capable of such experiencing such pleasure, and I did so because of you.”

(y/n) blushed. “Because of me?”

Alicent smirked. “I certainly was not thinking of the King, my love.”

(y/n) let out a small laugh, her face growing warmer.

“Besides,” Alicent continued, “This is not exactly my first time loving a woman.”

The Princess’ eyes went wide. “Princess Rhaenyra?”

Alicent furrowed her brows. “How did you know?“

(y/n) laughed once more. She tilted her head to the side. “Who else could it have been, my love?”

Alicent let out a laugh of her own. “You are right.” She brought (y/n)’s hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles.

(y/n) smiled warmly. Then she looked away from Alicent.

“You don’t have to answer but I am curious if you and Princess Rhaenyra ever...you know,” (y/n) trailed off, hoping the Queen would follow her implication.

The Queen did. She blushed deep red.

“Gods no, we never did more than kiss.”

(y/n) met Alicent’s gaze. “So how did you know how to...”

Her face was hotter than dragonfire, at least that was how Alicent felt. But she would tell the Princess everything, as she had promised she would.

“Well I did not know, not at first. But I closed my eyes, remembered that sordid passage you had read, and tried to think what you would do. My hands guided themselves once I let myself feel just how much I desired you,” she admitted, not able to meet (y/n)’s gaze.

This time it was (y/n) who gave Alicent’s hand a squeeze. “Thank you for telling me. I know that is not easy for you.”

Alicent looked over at (y/n). “Thank you, for being patient with me.”

(y/n) leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on Alicent’s lips. Alicent smiled. She reached out and cupped (y/n)’s face with her free hand.

“I love you so much. Please believe that I am trying my hardest to give all of myself to you, as I do want to, but it is difficult for me to reckon how I feel with everything that I always believed to be true as taught to me.”

(y/n) leaned into Alicent’s touch. “Of course I believe you Alicent. I would wait until Dorne froze over for you. So long as we are together I care not if we never go beyond kisses. As we both now know, there is more than one way for us to be together.”

Alicent dropped her hand and leaned her head on (y/n)’s shoulder.

“Thank you (y/n). I am so fortunate that you are mine.”

(y/n) kissed the top of Alicent’s head.

“Not as fortunate as I, your grace,” (y/n) teased.

Alicent laughed. She let go of (y/n)’s hand and wrapped her arms around (y/n)’s waist. Alicent placed a kiss on (y/n)’s neck. “I love you,” she whispered.

(y/n) hummed sweetly. “I never tire of hearing you say that.”

Alicent lifted her head and met (y/n)’s gaze. “Then I shall say it again. I love you (y/n).”

(y/n) stroked Alicent’s cheek with her thumb. “Not more than I love you.”

Alicent leaned forwards and pressed her lips against (y/n)’s. (y/n) buried her fingers in Alicent’s curls.

As they continued to kiss (y/n) would realize she no longer felt cold. The chill deep inside her was replaced with a raging blaze that could only be quelled by her lover’s lips.

#alicent hightower #alicent hightower x reader #alicent higtower imagine #house of the dragon imagine

[queen-dahlia]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟯 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation

If one were to ask which is more difficult: dominating people through violence or making compromises through communication,

It would definitely be the latter—trying to resolve everything through communication would be more difficult.

The little rabbit knows this, but she has not given up on communication.

And I've made up my mind that I'm not going to get involved in anything but violence,

On the contrary, she is willing to endure violence.

It may be a perfect score for the woman with the most beautiful heart in Rhodolite.

But I feel sick looking at her.

(… I made it happen, but I thought you would break sooner.)

Succumbing to people's violence and giving up on communication because it is impossible, the little rabbit herself becomes tainted with malice.

The pure white heart is now dyed black, and the "Final Judgment" is over.

But it was not easy to do so. The little rabbit is brazen.

(But…)

I stood in front of the little rabbit's room and gently opened the door.

As expected, there was a little rabbit lying on the bed and crying.

No matter how beautiful your heart is and how noble your beliefs are...

A heart stabbed with malice can't be okay.

(… A villain never misses a vulnerable prey, right?)

I hide my presence and sneak up on Little Bunny to look into her face.

Gilbert: "Wow, you're crying. Poor thing."

Emma: "!?"

The little rabbit, seemingly unaware of my presence, froze like ice.

Gilbert: "You must have let your guard down. But too bad, I wouldn't leave such a fun situation unattended."

The little rabbit raised her upper body and covered her face with her hands.

Perhaps she didn't want to be seen so much, but she was red all the way to the tips of her ears.

(… So cute.)

Gilbert: "I was waiting in front of your room, making sure my presence went unnoticed."

Gilbert: "Oh, and I am here to remind you about the cookies. You promised me 1,000 cookies, right?"

Emma: "… Please wait five minutes."

Gilbert: "As much as you want. In the meantime, I'll look around your room."

Emma: "No, please don't!"

Gilbert: "Didn't I let you look around my room before?"

Gilbert: "I wonder if you have something to be so flustered about."

Gilbert: "But don't worry. Even if you have embarrassing proclivities, I will still accept you…"

Gilbert: "I'll keep quiet about it to the people around us. …Maybe."

Emma: "I have no such proclivities!"

Gilbert: "Then there's no problem if I look around, right?"

The purpose of visiting the little rabbit's room was not just to make fun of her crying face.

(… Yeah, I knew it.)

Feeling a sense of discomfort, I open the book lightly on the desk.

A dangerous needle was attached to the bookmark, and I retrieved it without being noticed.

(The violence is getting worse. …I should probably nail them down soon.)

(Anyway, this guy... yep, I'll kill him.)

All the malice directed towards the little rabbit is managed behind the scenes.

What kind of action is likely to occur, and what real harm is done to the little rabbit?

They don't even know they're dancing in the palm of a trampling beast.

Gilbert: "Have you read this?"

Withdrawing my evil schemes, I pointed to the black book so as not to seem unnatural.

It was a book I had given to the little rabbit on a whim earlier.

Emma: "Yes… I read halfway through."

Emma: "I thought about it again, but the main character of that book is amazing."

Emma: "Confronting the insidious crimes in the court many times…"

Emma: "No matter what obstacles stand in her way, she keeps looking forward and never cries or looks down."

Emma: "She had a dazzlingly pure and beautiful heart, and even the people around her were inspired by her…"

Emma: "… I don't think I can do it."

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

(I see... so that's what the little rabbit thought.)

(Certainly, I may have been too virtuous and lacked a sense of humanity.)

Gilbert: "The girl in the book might have cried, too, just not written down, you know?"   //   "The girl in the book might have been crying just because it wasn't written, right?"

Gilbert: "Even a girl with a beautiful heart has troubles and pains. It's natural because she’s human."

Gilbert: "… It's just that the author missed it."

Gilbert: "I've been imagining a girl who smiles happily every day, but I just haven't gotten to the deepest parts of her life." **

Emma: "I... see."

Gilbert: "That's right."

(After all, you must see the real thing in person.)

(This haul alone was worth the trip to Rhodolite.)

I turn my back to the book and once again wrap my hands around the crying face of the little rabbit.

She looked awful.

But somehow, I didn't think it was ugly.

Gilbert: "Honestly, I thought you were a young woman who never cried."

Emma: "… I do cry too."

Gilbert: "Yeah, it seems so. But you care about others and hide it."

Gilbert: "You keep killing your heart by saying "I'm fine"…"

Gilbert: "In the end, you will become a beast like me."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

(Saying "I'm fine" isn't okay.)

(… Just like I used to say, "It's okay" every time I killed someone.)   //   (Same as me, who used to say, "I'm fine" every time I killed someone.)

If you fake the pain of the wound, you will soon feel nothing, and even "okay" will become unnecessary.

If you don't feel pain, you won't cry.

Gilbert: "Crying means you are still human."

Gilbert: "You should take such good care of yourself."

Gilbert: "If you keep lying that you're fine, then I'll see... okay?" ***

(You shouldn't become a beast.)

(—No, wait... It's contradictory.)

(Why am I comforting you?)

(I'm the one who cornered the little rabbit, and I'm looking forward to seeing if she turns into a beast.)

(I would have rather thought about catching up or something…)

Something is preventing the evil schemes of the trampling beast.

I can't figure out what that "something" is, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

(It's like I'm resisting myself. …It's weird.)

Gilbert: "Hey, do you want me to comfort you?"

Emma: "N-No…"

Gilbert: "Where do you want to be bitten?"

Emma: "What kind of comfort is that!?"

I tease the little rabbit in order to get rid of the discomfort that has built up.

The tears seemed to stop as we exchanged light banter.

I unconsciously breathe a sigh of relief when the little rabbit bites me as usual.

Gilbert: ". . . . . ." 

Emma: "Prince Gilbert?"

(… I should have made you cry more.)

(Ah, but it's unpleasant to see you cry for other people's malice instead of mine.)   //   (Ah, but it's unpleasant to see you crying from the malice of others and not of me.)

(I'm sure that's what this is.)

I pinch the soft cheeks of the little rabbit.

Although the tears had stopped, they were still wet.

Gilbert: "It's boring. You've already stopped crying."

Gilbert: "I thought it was funny to see you cry."

Emma: "Forget about it!"

Gilbert: "Ahaha, who are you talking to?"

Gilbert: "Come on, let's go, Little Bunny."

(… Let's distract ourselves by eating.)

I open the door and prompt the little rabbit to make cookies.

In doing so, I thought I heard a small, inaudible murmur.

Gilbert: "…? Did you say something?"

Emma: "No, nothing."

Emma: "Just… thank you."

Gilbert: "My kindness has bad intentions, okay?"

Emma: "Still, I feel a little better. I feel like I can do my best again tomorrow."

Gilbert: "… You do that a lot."

Emma: "I cried, but I don't want to give up."

Emma: "And besides, it's a good thing that Prince Gilbert came to Rhodolite…"

Emma: "As I thought, I want you to fall in love with me."   //   "After all, I want you to like me."

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

For a moment, I forget to fix my expression.

(What... is one of the reasons you endure that malice so silly?)   //   (Why... is one of the reasons why you endure such malice so desperately such a silly thing?)

(To a beast that has lost its love, it's all nonsense.)

Gilbert: "Is that what you were thinking?"

Emma: "… I was thinking. I wanted you to like me so much that you wouldn't want to trample Rhodolite."

(I see... the little rabbit was secretly harboring such a purpose…)

(… Maybe I'm getting so uncomfortable and inexplicable right now.)

(I just don't want that to happen.)   //   (But that's a problem.)

(… That's the only thing I can't accept.)   //   (… I just can't take that.)

Gilbert: "It's up to you, Little Bunny. Good luck?"

(If I'm really starting to like you...)

A new malice is rapidly growing.

It was an unexpected move that had never been planned before.

(I have to control you so that I can "like" you… right?)

#サイバード #イケメン王子 #ギルベルト=フォン=オブシディアン #ikemen prince #ikemen prince gilbert von obsidian #ikemen prince gilbert #ikeprince #ikeprince gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince gilbert #gilbert von obsidian #ikeprince jp #ikepri jp #ikeprince translation #ikepri gilbert route spoilers #ikemen prince spoilers #ikeprince spoilers #ikepri spoilers #dahlia's bad translation

[pirateswhore]

Her White Wolf

With Rumple gone, Belle is left to pick up the pieces on her own. Could a certain wolf help mend her heart? Mid season 4 AU (aka giving Belle the brain cells she needs and resolving my first queer disappointment on the show).

thank you @xarandomdreamx for being a lovely beta !

for - @caliburn-the-sword

Prologue and Chapter 1 published on Ao3:

Prologue - In the Aftermath.

It hurt like nothing had hurt before. Finding the gauntlet that she thought he had traded for her years ago. Using it, foolishly thinking it would simply point towards her, only to be led to the dagger. The dagger? Didn’t he give her the dagger? She picked it up and felt its heavy weightin her hand and an intense pull, nothing like she had ever felt before with the dagger she was given. A fake. Obviously. He lied to her, like he had so, so many times.

The next few minutes now feel like a blur. Appearing before him, seeing him holding Hook’s heart in his hand, squeezing it. Commanding him to take them to the town edge. Forcing him over it. His cowardly cries and pleas for forgiveness. And then he was gone, and she dropped on her knees and buried her face in her hands so she didn’t have to see him scramble away like a pathetic, injured dog.

The next thing she remembers is a hand and hook on each shoulder, urging her to stand up, leading her to the back seat of a yellow bug. She couldn’t quite remember or care for what they told her, spending the entire car ride back to her house staring out the window. They helped her out of the car, led her to her front door, told her something about reaching out if she needed help, and squeezed her shoulder in support. And then she walked into the flat, took her coat off and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over her, hoping it was all an awful, awful dream that she would soon be waking up from.

“Hey, Belle.”

She lifted her head from the coffee cup in front of her to see Hook standing next to her table. 

“Mind some morning company, love?”

She sniffled and nodded and he scooted into the chair opposite of hers. He ordered a coffee himself and they sat in silence for a while, her gaze dropping back down to the table.

“Thank you. For saving my life,” he spoke quietly, treading carefully through the conversation, “I wouldn't be here if you had not intervened the other day.” Days? Has it been that long? This was the first time she’d left the flat since… the incident, having spent all her time sobbing in bed. She looked up at him, meeting his gaze - gratitude, pain, remorse. He strained a little smile and tilted his head down slightly. She returned the smile and straightened her back, sniffling back a sob.

“Of course. The least I could do.” He reached out his hand to meet hers. 

“I’m not sure how much of this you heard when Emma and I took you home, but just know that we are here for you, whatever you need, okay? You have both our talking phone numbers, we’re just a call away,” he squeezed her hand and she was barely holding back tears. How was he still so kind to her after all the crap her husband had done to him? When she was too blind to see through his lies and do anything to stop him for such a long time. She didn’t deserve any thanks from him, or anyone. She could have stopped all this so long ago. All she could do now was squeeze his hand back and nod.

They drank their coffee in silence, commenting about their day and plans every so often. She confessed her remorse over not stopping Rumple sooner and Killian stated how guilty he felt over doing his bidding, at which Belle shot him a smile. 

“I'm sure we could find a way to release the faeries.”

“You think?”

“Sure! We have everything originally used to trap them, the hat, the dagger-”

“Me,” he chuckled. She rolled her eyes and continued.

“I'm certain Rumple has some books on it. Or maybe Regina does. We could set up a base camp in the library, it’s not like either one of us has anything better to do, and it could help us relieve some guilt.”

His smile dropped a little. “You’d be okay with working close to me?”

“Of course I would! Why shouldn't I?”

“I… I tried to kill you. I shot you.”

Her shoulders relaxed and she placed both hands over his. “Killian… I don’t hold that against you. You’ve changed since then. I’ve forgiven you.” 

He smiled, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. They ordered breakfast and talked about the details of researching the hat and its magic and she actually managed to forget the pain her ex husband had caused her and others. Maybe she could make up for not seeing through his charade sooner. After they finished their food, they ran down to the sheriff's station and told Emma about their plan, who seemed proud and enthusiastic, and Regina, who seemed dismissive but still offered them help if they needed it. She still had keys to Rumple’s shop, so she asked Killian and Emma to take out any books they may find useful - she couldn't bring herself to go in there. Within the hour they were walking past Granny's again, stopping to pick up a to-go order for the lunch she had placed before they left. 

She walked into the diner, seeing as Killian was trying to balance a stack of books with his hand and hook and couldn't carry anything else. Granny waved her down and said her order would be bagged in a minute, so Belle took a seat by the bar. She could hear people talking behind her, throwing a few glances her way before whispering amongst each other.

I heard she pushed him over the town line herself. Yea she finally came to her senses about him. Wonder if the pawn shop is still open? I feel sorry for her, he manipulated her. 

The pity in their voices sounded almost derogative to her. She should have been smarter, seen through his lies way sooner, left him before he could hurt her and others the way he did. But she didn't. She gave him chance after chance only to be met with deceit and disappointment. She was stupid. She knows that now. She pushed the thoughts back, trying her best not to focus on them. Just pick up the order and go, Belle. Five minutes. 

"Order for Gold?" A voice called out. She winced and made a mental note of annulling the marriage as soon as possible and getting back to her maiden name. 

She looked up and her mouth dropped open a little. Ruby. She hadn't seen her since they all came back from the Enchanted Forest (granted, she was busy) and couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. 

"Oh- sorry, is it still Gold?" The woman handed her two paper bags.

"Yea… I need to go down to the mayor's office to revert it to my maiden name. It's good to see you again Ruby."

"Yeah, it's good to be back."

"You left?"

"For a little bit, I was feeling restless and hoping to find someplace I belong. That didn't really pan out so I'm back here. Plus Granny needs my help with the diner."

"Maybe we could catch up sometime soon."

"I'd like that."

They exchanged smiles and see-you's and Belle walked out of the diner and headed to the library with Killian. Moving on and picking up the pieces was going to be hard, but perhaps she didn't have to do it on her own. 

________________________________________

Chapter I - Moving On

Ruby's return to Storybrooke brought with it mixed emotions. She didn't feel like she was part of the town, or fully accepted by the townsfolk. But there was nothing for her in the Enchanted Forest and here she at least had her grandma. Even if it meant working in the diner all her life, it was better than nothing.

Today, she was on delivery duty. Which meant driving around town in Granny's run-down delivery van all day, trying her best to not get the orders mixed up. She got back into the car and looked at the next delivery's notes: B. French, 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, 1 large fry serving, 1 medium onion ring serving, 2 sodas. Deliver to Town Library at 12:30pm

Belle.

The brunette had made herself a regular at the diner over the last week, stopping for coffee and a bagel every morning. Talking to her made the otherwise insufferable morning shift actually pleasant for Ruby, even if for just a few short minutes. Belle usually had her order to-go, saying that Killian was waiting for her at the library.

"What are you two up to in there anyways? Killian often doesn't come back to his room until after dinner time." Ruby had asked her once. The question made Belle stir in her seat for a moment.

"We're uh... We're trying to undo some of what Rumple had done. Starting with getting the faeries out of the hat."

"Oh! That's so sweet of you. Any progress?" Belle's face sank at that and she shook her head slightly. "Ah... well I'm sure you two will figure something out. You're smart."

If she didn't know any better, Ruby could've sworn she saw the blood rush to the other woman's cheeks as she mewled a small "thank you".

She rounded the corner and parked the van near the library. Ruby knew from the order that Killian was probably there as well, but a part of her hoped it would be just Belle. She couldn't pin down exactly why she wanted that and she didn't want to think too much into it. She walked to the library and pushed the heavy door open, calling out that the delivery was here. There was no response and after stepping inside, Ruby was met with an empty reception desk and no sign of either Belle or Killian. There was a corkboard in one corner with photos and notes and red string pinned into it.

"Belle? Hook?" she called out again and waited for an answer, focusing her ears to any sound they would pick up. She both liked and despised her heightened senses. They were useful most of the time but she could do without overhearing certain conversations and comments, especially the ones pertaining to her. Some people still feared her, feared she would turn into a wolf and ravage the diner's clientele at random.

She's been getting better at controlling it, or at least subduing it. She cut off a trim of her cloak and wore it on her at all times, in her hair, around her neck, or tucked into a pocket. It helped prevent any emotional outburst from triggering a transformation. She still hated the full moon however; being turned against her will and having to hide herself away all day, trying to contain the beast. Before the Moon rose into the sky at night, she was snappy, aggressive, every little inconvenience made her blood boil. The new moon, in turn, left her weak and lethargic and all she wanted to do was sleep. It had its ups and downs but she was doing her best at managing it.

Her ears picked up on the faintest of sobs and her head turned towards the back of the library. She left the order at the reception desk and made her way into the library, through the shelves and towards a back room. The sobs got louder and standing in front of the door with a ‘Employees Only sign, she could hear them clear as day.

"Belle..." she could tell it was her, the sweet perfume she wore lingering in the air. It hurt Ruby to hear her cry, and not just because it was so loud for her - Belle crying was not something Ruby ever wanted to see. "Belle?" she called out a little louder, tapping on the door. The sobs and whimpers stopped and the inside lock released, creaking the door open just a smidge. Ruby pushed it open wider and saw Belle hunkered down on the floor, sitting on a book stack with a tissue in hand. "Hey," she whispered out weakly, straightening her back but not looking up at the woman standing in the doorway.

Ruby crouched down, running her hand up and down the woman's shoulder, hoping to soother her. "I came in with your food and heard you crying, is everything okay?" Her eyes wandered to a book lying on the ground (it was unlike Belle to drop books, she treated them like sacred items). It was a Disney book, based on this world's version of "Beauty and the Beast" movie, featuring art and scenes from it. Ruby glanced back at Belle and urged her with a small smile.

"I found the book while sorting something," she started, "and it just... it hurts. That's how we were supposed to go, he was supposed to change and be a better man because of love. But I wasn't enough for him, no matter what I did."

"Oh Belle." Ruby moved closer and sat down next to Belle, putting an arm around her. "Some stories are just that - stories. And some stories have different versions, in yours it simply didn't work out." That caused another sob to escape Belle's chest and Ruby's clenched at the sound. "I'm so sorry he hurt you, but you can't put all the blame on yourself. When we love someone, we do our best to look past their flaws and see the best in them."

"Even if there isn't any good?"

"Belle, you have the wonderful tendency to see the good in anyone. Please don't let what Rumple did discourage you from it."

"What if I'm wrong about them again?"

"You weren't wrong about me, were you?" That seemingly calmed Belle's crying so Ruby went on. "When the entire town was dead set on hunting me down, you stayed by me. I'll never forget that.

Belle went silent for a while as Ruby continued to rub her shoulder. She hadn't noticed how close to one another they were, how their thighs pressed together or how good Ruby smelled until now. She also didn't realise that, with the way her head was hung, she was staring directly down the she-wolf's cleavage. Blood rushed to her cheeks but she made no attempt to move away, choosing instead to just lift her head to meet Ruby's eyes. She smiled down at her but concern was still painted on her face.

Belle had always been fond of her. She hadn't forgotten that Ruby had helped her in the past, and she was forever grateful for it. Ruby was fun, outgoing, openly flirtatious and spontaneous at times - all the things Belle had trouble expressing. She'd spent too long suppressing who she was and what she wanted in favour of coaxing Rumple to the side of good, hoping to calm the beast down long enough for the man to come out, thinking that, if she appeared more appealing than magic, he would give it up for her. Some good that had brought her.

"You good?" she finally asked, cocking her head to the side slightly. It reminded Belle of those videos of dogs, tilting their heads when intrigued by something. It made sense, she figured, considering Ruby was part wolf.

"I just don't know where to go from here," Belle confessed, "I spent so long doing everything I could to make myself good enough for Rumple. And now that he's gone? I have no idea what to do with myself."

Ruby's smile widened at that and she stood up. "There's time for you to figure that out. You won't have to do it on your own, you have friends to help you through it." She extended a hand and helped Belle up.

"Emma and Killian have been very supportive. It feels like they're the only two people in town who don't pity or resent me over Rumple."

"Wrong," Ruby stated. "There’s at least three people who feel that way."

"You?"

"Of course, silly. You're dear to me, would I have helped you if that wasn't the case?" Belle opened her mouth to say something, but simply nodded in agreement.

Ruby wasn't lying, but she wasn't being completely honest either - Belle was dear to her, but it went deeper than just friendly affection. If she had to put a name to it, it would probably be 'crush', although that felt too inane. From the moment she met her, she felt a pull towards Belle, a primal desire to help and protect her igniting deep inside her. Something about her made Ruby's heart dance; the way her face lit up when she was excited, how her eyes sparkled with an ever present hope she had for people, her undying loyalty to loved ones and her inability to give up on them. Ruby admired her for that but it hurt her too, seeing the physical embodiment of sunshine be rained on and pushed around time and time again. The love and support she had for others abused and mistreated.

It was exactly that love and devotion that had her running back to Rumple, believing all his lies and promises. Ruby respected that, she knew that Belle truly did love him (even if, in her mind, that love was misplaced and ill-appreciated) so she never made a move. However, now with Rumple gone and Belle left to once again, pick up the pieces, Ruby wished for nothing more than to be there for her. She knew she'd have to tread carefully so as to not come off as predatory, seeking to take advantage of Belle's heartbroken state.

Ruby smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Belle's ear. "I'm here for you, whatever you need. Just as I was before."

"Thank you, Ruby. And I for you, alright?"

The two smiled at each other and for a moment Ruby felt like leaning just a little bit closer, closing her eyes and just throwing caution to the wind (she wasn't a stranger to that), but the ring of Belle's phone whisked that daydream right away. She glanced down at it, pouting at the message.

"Killian says he got caught up sailing with Henry so he's running late, but he'll be here in a few minutes."

Fuck, Ruby had forgot all about her delivery duty. Granny was going to kill her.

They made their way to the front of the library, Belle checked to see if the orders were correct and handed Ruby the money for it."

"I should get back to delivering orders, but please, Belle, know that I'm here for you. Don't be a stranger, reach out whenever." She reached out and squeezed her hand, smiling at her. Belle smiled back and pulled her into a hug, squeezing tightly. Ruby's cheeks reddened, surprised at the sudden (but very welcomed) contact.

Walking back to the van, Ruby couldn't help but feel warmth radiating off of her entire body.

#chantecler writing #red beauty #ouat #ruby x belle #ruby lucas #belle french #these bitches gay #ouat fanfiction

[shiningshenanigans]

So, about Loki and Sylvie’s dynamic in Episode 2…

This episode was hard to watch. It’s painful to see these two characters who we know love each other wrestle with such deep-seated issues in their relationship. The gap between expectations and reality for their reunion scene, what we hoped it would be vs. what we got, is pretty glaringly huge. 

It’s interesting to think about how most of the reunion fics people have been writing for the past two years have been variations of the same thing: Loki searching endlessly for Sylvie out in the multiverse, finally finding her and welcoming her back with open arms; Sylvie, tentative and rageful at first, but eventually breaking down in tears and melting into his embrace. We all wanted a big, emotional moment for them, full of kisses and hugs and apologies and “I love you”s. What we got instead was awkward tension and a lack of vulnerability from both parties. 

That sad part is, this is just what happens in human relationships sometimes. Sometimes you can’t resolve everything with one conversation. Sometimes fear, insecurities, pride, or just poorly timed interruptions keep us from mending what’s been broken between us and the people we love. 

But, there’s still a reason that we wanted to see the reunion scene play out this way, à la Hosea and Gomer or the prodigal son returning home after wasting his father's money. We long to see forgiveness and repentance play out in relationships, because that’s what unconditional love looks like. That’s how the conversation should have gone, and would have gone if these weren’t flawed, complex characters that we’re dealing with. Sylvie should be feeling remorse for what she’s done. Loki should be prioritizing Sylvie’s emotional well-being above his own needs. Under the surface, I think that that’s exactly what’s happening. But neither of them are vocalizing it properly, and that’s what’s creating the tension. 

Sylvie, I think, is clearly in the wrong. I say that as the biggest Sylvie stan ever, so hear me out. Her actions and anger towards the TVA have always been completely, 100% justified, but she’s being really short-sighted at the moment. She thinks she can settle down in her own timeline and forget about everything, but sooner or later the consequences of her actions are going to come back to haunt her.  

If you think about it, killing HWR didn’t really do that much to free the timeline. The TVA didn’t even know that HWR existed, and he seemed to be running everything on autopilot. If Sylvie had made it all the way to the citadel by herself, without ever meeting Loki or Mobius, the TVA might very well have just continued to prune branches and hunt her down, with no real knowledge of what happened behind the curtain. 

The real reason the TVA stopped coming after Sylvie is because Mobius and B15 put out an order to stop pruning branches. While Loki and Sylvie were making their way to the citadel, they were down in the TVA changing hearts and minds, transforming it from the inside out. That’s not to diminish what Sylvie did - after all, it was her fighting spirit that inspired the change in the first place. But in a roundabout way, Loki is really the one who set her free from her life on the run. He was the bridge between her and the TVA, the one who brought her story and the all evils of the TVA to the light. It’s really his influence that has made her new life on the timeline possible, but she doesn’t comprehend this yet. She can’t, with all of her unhealed trauma. In her mind, she’s her own hero. She saved herself.

It’s interesting to note that when Loki asks her what she’ll do if HWR shows up again, her answer is, “Kill him”, with that smug little smirk on her face. This has been Sylvie's go-to solution for all her problems ever since we met her. Minute men chasing her down? Kill them. Timekeepers trying to control her destiny? Kill them. Clown interrupts her plan to kill said time keepers? Kill him. Weird man in a purple robe trying to take away everyone’s free will? You guessed it: kill him. What she doesn’t realize, though, is that this mindset makes her no different from the corrupt TVA agents she hates so much. People making choices that lead to chaos and multiversal war? Prune them. In other words, kill them. Loki’s love for Sylvie, and his friendship with Mobius, has taught him that life has value, and now he’s doing everything he can to protect it through the TVA. But this isn’t a lesson that Sylvie has learned yet. She’s only thinking about the value of her own life - not the lives of others. Not really. Not yet.

Also, how happy could she really be in her little 1980s McDonalds world? Yes, she's experiencing stability for the first time in her life, and don't get me wrong, Homegirl totally deserves the chance to rest and live a normal life for a little while. But, at the same time, how many people in her new timeline could ever really, truly understand the life she’s lived? She deserves to have people like Loki, Mobius, B15, Casey and OB in her life: fellow variants who can relate, on some level, to the trauma that she’s been through. She deserves the chance to explore and embrace her Asgardian heritage, her Jotun heritage, even. With Loki in particular, she has the opportunity to be in a relationship where she is fully known in every way possible, seeing as he’s literally a masculine version of herself. She deserves that kind of intimacy in her life, and it won’t be long before that lack of connection starts to leave her lonely again. She may say that she’s not running from anything, but she is. She’s running from herself, from her own story.

Loki’s not off the hook, either. He made some major missteps in the way he approached this conversation. It really should have been his responsibility to lead with love and prioritize Sylvie’s emotions over his own. And while I think he tried to do that… he failed pretty miserably. 

I have a suspicion that he was disappointed, a little hurt, even, when he learned about Sylvie’s new life on the timeline. Afterall, they had kinda made plans to do that together when all was said and done. It probably stung to learn that not only was she ok without him, she was also happy and thriving in her new life. This is honestly the hardest part of learning how to love someone selflessly. You tell yourself that you want what’s best for them, but… can you accept it if “what’s best for them” has nothing to do with whether or not you are an active part of their life?

A lot of Loki’s desperation to find Sylvie in the first episode is fueled by uncertainty–not knowing where she is and wanting to make sure she’s ok. When he learns about her new life, a lot of that urgency goes away. But, he still wants to see her, and he feels like he needs a “reason” for it. So, he hides behind his encounter with her in the elevator as his way in.

What Loki should have done in this moment was be vulnerable with her. He should have asked her how she was. He should have told her the real reason he came: because he loves her and wants to fix things between them (and also protect her from an impending multiversal war, but that’s a conversation for later). He got this so right when he threw himself under her blade at the citadel, holding her gently and assuring her that he knew how she felt. But sincerity and truth-telling, vulnerability, are all still new to him, and while he’s not hiding his feelings anymore, you can tell he’s still struggling to express them.     

He’s too in his own head during their conversation. Her cold attitude and the time limit she’s placed on the talk have left him scrambling for words, so instead, he chooses to put up his own walls rather than chip away at hers. He tells her about what he saw in the future and asks her for information. He starts talking about TVA business and multiversal wars (the absolutely last thing she wants to hear about) and tries to force his viewpoint on her again rather than actually trying to clear the air.  

They both have so far to go to reconcile their relationship, and it's tough to watch. It makes me miss their bond in season 1, their playful banter and the inherent sweetness of their honeymoon phase. Is it possible that they’re drifting apart intentionally, that they won’t end up together in the end? Yeah, sure. Marvel doesn’t really have a great track record for ending romances on a positive note. But I really hope that all the angst is building towards something satisfying in the end. It is, after all, only episode 2. We’ve got the whole rest of the season to go!  

#sylki #loki season 2 #loki series #loki spoilers #geeking out gracefully

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Rules? What Rules? - Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N: this is my contribution to @chase-your-dreams-away 800 followers celebration!! Congratulations on 800 followers!!

My prompt was: “Rule? Nope, not listening. I’m not following them. Never have, never will” and Ransom Drysdale!

Summary: Harlan has one rule in his company: no fraternising.

Word count: 987

Warnings: Fluff! Kinda suggestive language! Ransom putting on the charm!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Masterlist

You were beyond excited to be working for the Harlan Thrombey, you had been trying to get a job in publishing and this was finally your foot in the door. You were only a PA but Harlan made sure to teach you everything he knew whenever he could.

In return, you made sure it was near impossible for Walt to get a meeting or be involved. Harlan was grateful and Ransom found it hilarious.

Ah, Ransom…. You had heard many things about the eldest grandson of Harlan

Good things from Harlan, terrible things from Walt, and interesting things from your friends. You were wary when you first met him, but you too hit it off straight away, sharing common interests like pissing Walt off.

It wasn’t long until the feelings you had towards him changed, becoming stronger, but none of that mattered because of the one rule Harlan had:

No fraternising, no exceptions

And no matter how much you wanted to break that rule, you couldn’t, you need this job. You were good at sticking to the rule, no matter how hard it was

That was until the Halloween party…

Harlan had asked you to go grab an envelope from his desk but for the life of you you couldn’t find it

“You know if Walt caught you sifting through Harlan’s desk he might have an aneurysm” Ransom smirks as he leans against the doorframe.

“Taken down by a simple cat burglar, why didn’t I think of it sooner” you smirk glancing up at him.

“You do make a sexy cat” Ransom smirks as he saunters into the room.

You swallow glancing back at the job at hand “and what are you supposed to be?” You ask pointing out his lack of costume.

“A secret agent,” Ransom says pausing as he reached the desk.

“Shouldn’t you be in all black then?” You point out looking over at him.

The corner of Ransom’s lips quirked upwards, and he leans closer making your heart skip a beat “I wouldn’t be a good spy if I did the obvious would I?” He whispers

You bite your lips nodding your head averting your gaze back down to the drawer you were looking through.

“What are you looking for anyway?” Ransom asks after a moment

“Looking for an envelope, Harlan said it was in here but it disappeared” you sigh shaking your head

“So it's the case of the mysterious missing envelope?” Ransom jokes earning a huff of a laugh from you “here let me have a look”

You go to move out of the way but before you got the chance, Ransom was standing behind you, his chest practically against your chest. He reached around you shifting a couple of pieces of paper in the drawer.

You tried your hardest to act natural but it was near impossible with him so close. All you wanted to do was lean back into his embrace and close your eyes.

“Hm looks like it's not here kitten” Ransom hums quietly, turning his head to look at you “sorry”

You struggle to find your words, your mind completely short-circuiting with his face so close to yours “no, no it's okay” you mutter with a small shake of his head.

“You know I could make it up to you, for not solving the case” Ransom offers, his voice low as he reaches up to brush some hair out of your face, his fingers tips brushing against your skin.

You knew exactly what he meant and you knew you couldn’t “no… no we can’t… the rules,” you say taking a step back away from him “this can’t happen it would break Harlan’s rule”

“Rules? Nope, not listening. I’m not following them. Never have, never will” Ransom states shaking his head as he closes the distance between you once more, his hand cupping your cheek “nobody has to know” he whispers.

Your gaze meets his and every resolve you had. You had barely nodded your head when Ransom’s lips crashed against yours. The kiss was desperate, every ounce of sexual tension spilling out, hands roaming and grabbing at whatever they could. It wasn’t long until you found yourself perched on Harlan’s desk, Ransom stood between your legs.

It probably would have gone a lot further if you hadn’t been interrupted by someone clearing their throat loudly behind you. You instantly leapt off the desk putting as much distance between you and Ransom as possible.

“Harlan I can ex- I’m so sorry, I know you have your rule and” you start desperate to keep your job.

Harlan chuckles gently, an amused expression on his face “don’t worry about it dear, I never really cared about it anyway” he smiles waving it off.

“What? But all those lectures you gave me” Ransom say scoffing in disbelief.

“I’m so confused” you mutter shaking your head.

“I made up the rule because you two would be great together” Harlan explains as he walks in and over to the bookshelf in the corner, grabbing the envelope you’d been looking for this entire time “and there’s nothing Ransom wants more than something he can’t have,” he says turning back to face you, winking at Ransom.

“You set this all up?” You ask in disbelief.

“Are you really so surprised” Harlan smirks playfully “now promise to treat her right Ransom” he says turning to Ransom.

“I promise grandfather” Ransom chuckles nodding his head.

“Good, now I’ll leave you two to it, just maybe pick somewhere that isn’t my office or desk” Harlan smirks as he leaves the room.

“Wow…” you mutter once the door was shut.

“That’s one word for it” Ransom hums before turning to face you holding out his hand “what do you say kitten, wanna get out of here?”

Your gaze finds his once more and this time there was no hesitation this time when you took his hand “whisk me away Mr Bond”

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#NiamhWrites #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom x reader #soft!ransom

[it-happened-one-fic]

Jive - Quite Literally Floating - Strictly NRC Dancing

Author Notes: Another character I have never written a fic for, but I can say he was an interesting person to write. I also now have a healthy respect for the people who dance jives and a healthy alarm for the aerials and flips that are done in swing dancing. The dance in this fic was largely inspired by Jordan Fisher and Lindsay Arnold’s jive on week 9, season 22 of  Dancing With the Stars. It's an enjoyable performance that is well worth watching so I recommend it. Just like the rest of this AU/series the reader is female for this fic. I hope you enjoy!

If you would like to read more this AU/series, the fics can be found here: Strictly NRC Dancing Master-List

Type: Dance AU/female reader/fluff/platonic but could probably be taken as romantic

Word Count: 1009

I rolled my shoulders in preparation for what was no doubt going to be a very…. Interesting, experience. 

It wasn’t that I was scared or didn’t trust Lilia. Because as much of a trickster as the potentially ancient fae was, he would never let me get hurt and would sooner hurt himself before he caused me any injury during the dance.

I also wasn’t actually concerned about the dance I was going to be performing with the lively third year. The jive was a good fit for Lilia. It was bubbly and vivacious, just like he was. 

My only concern was how well he would obey the rules.

This was Lilia’s third dance class, and by now it was beyond obvious that the man knew how to dance. I could imagine that this was due to his having been part of the Valley of Thorns court, as I understood it. 

During choreography practice, he’d even told me that dancing was like child’s play to him. Which was perhaps the reason why he had so much fun taking the rulebook and throwing it out the window as hard as he could.

I eyed the short man with at least a small degree of wariness that had his pink eyes sparkling, “Let’s have fun with this, child.”

There was a giggle to his voice that had me wondering exactly what the mischievous little fellow was planning, even as I shook my head with a slight smile, “As if you’d have it any other way.”

Everything was fine at the start of the dance, with the two of us having few to no problems. In fact, dancing with Lilia was almost like dancing with a shorter version of one of the teachers.

 He knew exactly what he was doing, where he needed to be, and how to guide me around for the maximum effect.

A small part of me began to wonder if he would indeed pass this class without incident. Perhaps the jive was just wild enough that he didn’t feel the need to add his own sort of pizzazz to the dance. But I soon realized that I’d been ridiculous to think that when I noticed the height of Lilia’s head had shifted.

It took only a glance to confirm my fears. The fae man was no longer grounded and was now, quite literally, floating his way through the dance. Perhaps the most impressive thing about it was that he was still executing his moves perfectly.

To make matters worse, he was gradually pulling me up with him, causing my grip on his to tighten as my eyes flew back to his sparkling ones. He winked and gave a tiny snap of his fingers on his free hand as he released me.

I let out a tiny squeak in fear before realizing I had not fallen. No, I was seemingly dancing on an invisible dancefloor even though I no longer had a hold of the impish fae, who was still grinning as he danced next to me. 

I looked up, my eyes finding Crewel’s, who looked just as flabbergasted as I was and offered no guidance. Leaving me to place all my trust in whatever magic Lilia had worked as I resolved to do my best to finish the dance as planned. 

And it was a good thing too, considering it had come time for the flips. I glanced over at my partner to see him already grinning my way. Obviously ready for the part of the dance he'd dubbed his favorite section just moments before we’d started dancing.

I cartwheeled towards him, his hands catching my waist as my arms locked around his legs, and he proceeded to cartwheel while holding onto me. I made a total of three revolutions with him like that, stopping hand in hand with him and letting him twirl me back into him as he lowered us to the ground.

We touched down to the final drum beat of the pounding song, with me still holding quite tightly to his shoulders as I forced myself to relax.

I was on solid, visible ground again.

I’d known dancing Lilia would be undoubtedly fast-paced, but nothing could have prepared me for having to dance while floating at least a foot over the ground with a considerably excitable partner who’d been giggling the whole time.

I at last released the still chuckling fae and stepped back, eyeing him closely. 

Lilia had just executed an impressive jive that I doubted anyone else could pull off, but he wasn’t passing this class. Because while there was no rule explicitly saying you couldn’t float, something told me that Trein, at the very least, would frown upon that. 

 Especially since there technically weren’t supposed to be any lifts in a jive, though that rule had been flouted with astonishing success in past classes.

True to form, Trein was frowning, Crewel was shaking his head, Crowley and Vargas didn’t look like they knew what to think, and Sam was laughing. 

Lilia glanced my way and shrugged, eyes still sparkling like those of a little boy who knew he was in trouble but really didn’t care, “Tough crowd.”

“Lilia… You do realize you aren’t supposed to use magic in these classes, correct?” I didn’t know if I pitied Trein at this point or if I was impressed with his ability to continue enforcing his rules. 

Lilia shrugged, giving a little fanged grin at Treins’s question, “I just couldn’t help myself; Y/n makes a wonderful partner, and the jive is an equally enjoyable dance.”

“Be that as it may, I’m afraid you aren’t going to pass this class either, Mr. Vanrouge,” Crowley shook his head, still mystified-looking, but delivering the judges' grade nonetheless as Sam at last recovered.

“Even though that was possibly the funniest jive I have seen. Especially with the face Y/n made when you started floating.” The shopkeeper was still wiping away mirthful tears as Lilia offered me a smooth bow and wink before strolling off to watch the next performance.

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#Twisted wonderland x reader #Lilia x reader #Twisted wonderland imagines #Lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #fluff #Please don't be upset that I didn't let him pass #I just felt like he'd be to playful to stick JUST to normal dancing #Strictly NRC Dancing #Dance AU #female reader #Jive #swing dancing #Twisted wonderland x you #Twisted wonderland x y/n #Twst #Disney TW #Twst x reader #Twst x you #twst x y/n #Lilia x you #lilia x y/n #Platonic #Could possible be romantic #take it as you like #mywritings #fanfiction #fanfic #Disney fanfiction #Diasomnia

[thekoicupid]

Hey! Can I request some angst headcanons for Bloodhound? I like the funky enby guy! :) It can be platonic or romantic, your choice! :) I don't care if there is pain/no comfort, or if there is a happy ending, but maybe it could be about the reader being a legend and hating Bloodhound for continually beating them, since the reader admired them before getting into the games ? I imagine this could be resolved by them talking things out, or the reader admitting to them that they were a big fan and then discussing :)

Hello, I know you asked for HC but when I read your request I could only think of doing a fanfic because this idea is so perfect

It was already the seventh time in a row that this had happened, only your team was left and Bloodhound's team, his teammates had been eliminated, and there was a problem to get to the beacon you would have to go through Bloodhound.

Stealthily walking to the beacon was the best idea however it didn't have the expected result, before reaching it everything went out, when your eyes were opened the blank ceiling embraced your vision.

'Shit, again' I thought as I stood up and looked around the room for my team, it wouldn't be hard just to find a green blur that won't stop and a robot looking for a high-five.

Looking close to the door it was possible to see the two of them talking, getting up was the easiest thing, the hard part was going to be getting to them both.

-Hey buddy, let me help you -Pathfinder commented when he saw me walking towards them.

-lo hiciste muy bien amigo - Octane commented while probably smiling from behind his mask.

- I turned to the side to see Pathfinder with his hand outstretched for a high-five, I sealed the two "hands" and walked over and said goodbye to both of them and started to leave the medical area.

It couldn't be worse, I thought to myself as I walked on without paying attention to my surroundings.

I looked again at where I was going when I reached the corridors of the rooms, looked for my name and quickly entered.

Without looking too much I started to take off my equipment, the only thing I wanted now was to lie in bed and forget that I kept losing to the legend that I admire the most.

It was frustrating, no doubt about it, but that wasn't they fault, they just gave the best they could if I train harder I will get past them I can be better than this, I need to be better, the team I fall to is sure to win.

I look in my closet and see my sweatshirt and jogger pants, I better start training now when the sooner the better.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table, it was 6:00 PM, the shooting range should be open and I had never seen that place closed, and if everything goes right I will be back in time for dinner.

Walking towards the range I managed to find Fuse who greeted me and went on his way, the arsenal of weapons was at my disposal looking at the R-301, and now the hour of truth or I get better.

It should be long past time by now the sky was dark with stars, but I don't care about that now I will only stop when I feel I have improved a little if I don't feel it I won't stop.

I could feel my body starting to want to shut down, it was warning me that it couldn't anymore but I couldn't care less I can deal with the consequences of this later.

Another gunshot noise was heard, one that didn't come from my gun, I look to the side and see the one I try to outrun what is he doing here?

-Good night, warrior - Bloodhound spoke as they looked in my direction.

-Good evening - I replied as I walked to get more ammunition, there was no further interaction between us.

An hour of silence must have passed, until I faltered and dropped the gun, tiredness was taking over, Hound had noticed so much that when I picked up the gun and took aim again the vision in front of me was blurred with black dots, in the distance I heard someone calling me but I couldn't answer as I felt my body give way and my vision finally turn black.

When I woke up, I was neither in my usual room nor in the medical ward, I looked to the side and could see a crow, and what looked like the skull of an animal hanging on the wall.

-How are you feeling?-the voice came from in front of me, the Hound mask was looking at me they were sitting in front of me.

-Well, thank you," I said as I stood up, I had no idea what time it was supposed to be but something was certain I had lost yet again to the raven breeder.

I wanted to cry, not of sadness but of anger, no matter how hard I try I will always fall behind.

-Are you sure? You don't sound very good- they voice was calm but distant she was distant I couldn't hold back the tears, I didn't want to have to admit this I didn't want to show my weakness.

My thoughts were too loud, nothing in my reality made sense anymore, not even some of the thoughts did.

But something cleared the thoughts, the very reason for the thoughts Bloodhound was standing in front of me not looking at me but giving me a hug.

-Elskan what ails you? - they voice managed to come out calmer than before.

-I can't, no matter how hard I try I'm always going to fall behind -my best isn't good enough.

-Elskan, it's okay, you do very well no matter what others say, and almost dying of exhaustion is not going to solve this, it will only get worse. - Hound said this and began to make circles with his hand on my back.

- Thank you Hound," I answered as I returned the hug and I could feel my eyes heavy again, "Hound I." I barely finished my sentence as Bloodhound interrupted me.

-you'll sleep here and tomorrow we'll go to the infirmary, I'll keep an eye on you Elskan, go get some rest - was the last thing Bloodhound said before letting go and putting me on the bed.

#bloodhound x reader #apex legends x reader #apex legends headcanons #x reader

[thecurioustale]

Two questions:

1. You’ve mentioned before that you write on a very, very old laptop called Joshiba. Do you have your ATH and GF drafts backed up somewhere in case it dies? 2. Out of everything you’ve ever written, what’s your favorite sentence?

1. You’ve mentioned before that you write on a very, very old laptop called Joshiba. Do you have your ATH and GF drafts backed up somewhere in case it dies?

Oh yes. Data loss is one of my least favorite things. Losing some fanfic files on the family computer as a kid cemented that aversion into me. And yet I have lost data many times since then, most notably in 2010 when my laptop Archimedes died out of nowhere, which killed most of my music compositions from one of my most important periods.

I'm quite paranoid about data loss. These days I will typically make a backup every three or four months (or less if I have done a lot of writing or otherwise feel the need to back something up sooner), and I have more than one independent backup device.

I actually got a warning just this morning on my main computer about an impending hard drive failure, so I did a full backup of that one and ordered a replacement drive.

2. Out of everything you’ve ever written, what’s your favorite sentence?

That's a deliciously provocative question, and there are so many different ways I could tackle it.

It would very likely be a fiction sentence, as I both care about my fiction more and put more effort into editing and refining it. But I should at least mention that I've done some nonfiction sentences that I'm really proud of. I love it when I can elegantly bring a thesis together, or synthesize a truly fascinating new idea, or perfectly summarize a thing. In all cases, my great nonfiction sentences are masterpieces of insightfulness and clarity. Clarity and insightfulness are the common factors, the reason you would spend your precious time reading my often-verbose, self-indulgent ramblings.

I don't have any such sentences in mind off the top of my head, sadly, or I would happily share one. I suppose I can leave it to anyone who has been a longtime reader of my journal to volunteer any favorites they can think of.

To get on with the fiction:

I put a lot of thought into first sentences: the first sentence in an entire story; the first sentence in a chapter or section; the first sentence introducing a new character; their first sentence of dialogue. When it makes sense to do so, and when I have the opportunity, I also put a lot of thought into last sentences.

There are the "high art" sentences, the ones that attempt some feat of technical prowess or showcase my skills or artistry. These tend to be longer and/or highly stylistic.

There are the "punchy" sentences: short sentences that comprise their own paragraph to underscore a point, ideally to resounding effect.

There are sentences that I am personally biased toward for external reasons, such as ones involving Silence doing Silence stuff.

There are sentences that have deep, personal resonance for whatever reason.

There are the sentences that depart from literality and become in some way transcendental, often assuming an omniscient voice and openly musing in the company of the reader.

There are sentences that don't look like much on their own but become very powerful in context. (Not unlike the aforementioned "punchy" sentences.)

And of course there are miscellaneous sentences that I just like for whatever reason.

(It's also worth noting that, with the way I write, often the great stuff is only resolvable down to the paragraph level, not the level of individual sentences. And some of it is only resolvable down to the scene level, with no great sentences per se even if the scene itself is very strong.)

Different sentences can excel in different ways, each in turn making a compelling case to be my "favorite." I can like sentences because of some aspect of their structure—their rhythm, for instance, or their alliteration or some other literary quality, or their feel on the tongue or in the eye. Or I can like sentences because of their imagery, the contents they convey, irrespective of their structure. Or I can like them because of their meta function, their role in advancing or pulling together the story or important thoughts therein. And so on. I don't consider these various properties comparable, which makes it very difficult to conceive of one supreme sentence above all others.

Even if that weren't so, the way my memory works also makes it virtually impossible for me to select a favorite without going back and rereading all the fiction I've ever written (lol) or whatever subset thereof I think most likely to produce leading candidates for my favorite.

In lieu of this I am quite limited in what my memory is able to recall at the moment on its own. The sentence that has stuck with me the most in recent months is not especially remarkable on its own; it is one of those "Silence doing Silence stuff" sentences and it really loses a lot of its punch without the context of its paragraph and wider scene, and since it is also something of a spoiler I don't think I will post it here, but it's basically an affirmation of her power, which I love.

Since writing the previous paragraph I spent over an hour looking for a good sentence in order to give you something approaching a satisfying answer, but alack my brain was not plugged into creative writing mode at all today and so I have found this a most unapproachable, inapprehensible exercise tonight. It's funny how, some days, it's like the text itself changes. There are times when I absolutely love this stuff, and times when I just don't connect with it at all, and sadly today is one of the latter.

But perhaps if you could refine the question (and catch me on a better day)? I often find that this helps to unlock my mind, if the derivative question has some new substance which helps me to conceive of the query differently.

Anyway! I've written quite a few sentences in my life. Maybe, given my complete uselessness, it would be better to ask the people who have read some of them what they think. I'd be curious to know, myself.

I can tell you one of the leading candidates for my favorite sentences that I haven't written, however. It's from Dickens:

And Scrooge said often afterwards, that of all the blithe sounds he had ever heard, those were the blithest in his ears.

For context, the preceding sentence is:

He looked so irresistibly pleasant, in a word, that three or four good-humoured fellows said, "Good morning, sir! A merry Christmas to you!"

And I suppose that says a lot about me.

#Charles Dickens #Philosophy of writing

[thestrangestthing89]

I decided to add a part 2 to this post about how Mike and El broke up in Lenora. I just finished my season 4 rewatch and I am now also convinced that this love triangle is resolved by the time they get to Hawkins. I think the first part of my theory has a stronger likelihood of being right. But I'm just going to build myself another little hill to die on because that 2 day time jump leaves so many questions and everything is so ambiguous. So my theory is this - Mike and El break up while they are fighting in Lenora. The link above goes into the proof of this. But I think Mike explained to El that he's gay and loves Will. I think they argued about this but not in the same way they were arguing in the part of the scene we actually saw. I think El was just confused and maybe feeling a little betrayed by both Mike and Will for not telling her sooner. So El goes off to the lab not just because she fought with Mike and feels like she needs to be a superhero again, but her one friend in Lenora (Will) was holding something back from her. She feels alone. She makes an emotional decision to go back to the lab. We see that. Everything with Angela and her arrest made her feel vulnerable and her fight with Mike on top of it didn't help. She reacts to what Owens is saying based off of how she's feeling. Which is why it takes her a few days to think about this situation. While she's in the lab I think she realized she made some mistakes too. She lied to Will about her relationship with Mike and it hurt him, and she lied to Mike about what was going on in Lenora. I think it's clear when they reunite that they are all happy to see each other.

Meanwhile, Mike and Will are on their road trip. Mike brings up his fight with El a few times and Will completely misunderstands what Mike is saying. He doesn't think he has a chance with Mike because El's been making it sound like everything is perfect with them. But Mike isn't actually implying anything romantic with El. Nothing about what he says is in anyway indicative of him wanting to be her boyfriend or him loving her. When he says "if I had just said that thing maybe she would have taken me with her" I don't think he means it in a romantic way. I think they fought and he feels guilty and he wishes he had stressed to her that he does love her (platonically) so that she wasn't alone. He's upset because he doesn't think he has a place in her life if he's not her boyfriend and Will completely misses this. He's also feeling guilty about the way he handled everything. I also think during this road trip Mike and Will reconnected their friendship like they said they wanted to back in Lenora. They didn't only have 3 or 4 conversations about El and then not talk. It was a long trip. They were in the car for days. I think they caught up about their lives and talked about school. And I think it's very likely Mike still had his flirty attitude he had back in Lenora. This seems to be their dynamic now. So there had to have been times during this trip where Will thought "wait, does he?". I don't think they got into too much about their relationship just danced around it. There are too many people in the car and they are in a stressful situation. So I think they mainly just caught up here. Jumping past the painting revel because I've talked about that endlessly (Basically Mike knows Will was talking about himself and is happy about it). When the group reunites Mike and El don't even attempt to make that reunion romantic. It's a platonic reunion. The thing that sticks out is this - El and Will have a more emotional reunion. We see this season (and it's heavily implied) that Will and El got pretty close and this is important for later. Their relationship means a lot to both of them. So we get to the pizza place and El and Mike are talking. I love how ambiguous all of this is. Like there are 4 possibilities here that make a lot of sense. But the one I'm going with here is that Mike and El are trying to establish a friendship and they both know it. El starts to say something and gets a little annoyed at Mike for interrupting because she spent the past few days in the lab and I think she came to a better understanding about what he was trying to tell her and wanted to let him know. She's serious here when she tells him she missed him. But they still have some things about their relationship that they need to talk about hence her tone. Mike starts talking about their conversation in Lenora and says "I guess what I'm trying to say is..." I am positive at this point there is nothing romantic happening here. There is nothing about this conversation that suggests it. I think it's the same response people have always had about Mike and El where they assume their interactions must be romantic. But the conversation isn't, which is why I think it's about them trying to establish a friendship and why they both start with "I missed you". After their fight and break up this was important to establish.

And further proof of this. When Argyle interrupts neither of them is bothered by it. It would have been so easy for one of them to just ask him to give them a minute. They don't. They don't mind the interruption because they both know where they stand. They do still need to talk a bit but they understand they are broken up and the reason why and they are both fine with it. So the rest of this conversation can wait. Instead we have them actually goofing around with each other as friends. And again, neither of them are bothered by this. We don't see Mike and El acting like this toward each other. The only time Mike tried to do this was with the singing in S3 and El told him to stop. But that doesn't happen here. They are friends now and it's a good thing. They can mess around with Argyle and it's ok. I don't think Will believes this scene is romantic when he's watching them. I mean how could you? lol It's such a friendship moment. I think he misses his friend. Him and Mike were so close and they grew apart a bit in S3. They haven't goofed around like this in a while. I think he also feels like he's just separate from everyone and can't join in because he's different. So then there is the "I love you" monologue and again I won't go too much into this part because I have so many times. But I just want to say that I haven't seen this episode since it originally aired and I was shocked by how short this moment is. It's like 10 seconds long. And Mike is so clearly trying to get her to rally and fight. That's the whole point of this. He's rambling. Mike's face during this scene could either read as him forcing himself to say something or him just flat out panicking because he's realizing he has nothing to say. So he resorts to saying what they last had a conversation about. Him and El don't have bonding moments to bring up and that would have been painfully clear here. He already felt like they weren't friends and now he's faced with that reality. And I don't think Will looks upset because of what Mike's saying to El. I think he already thought they were in love and nothing Mike said was all that shocking. Will's upset already before Mike talks. He's scared for El. This situation is tense. And I don't think it was about what Mike said. But I do think one thing is clear to Will here and maybe he didn't realize it in the moment. But the way Mike talks to El is radically different than the way Mike talks to him. What Mike says is so superficial compared to what Mike told Will in the shed. Mike has a lot more emotional depth with Will and this is the first time Will actually gets to see that comparison. So what happened after this? I'm about to fill in some blanks here, so get ready.

El probably woke up and explained what went on in the mind fight. She's probably worried about Max. Again, I think Mike and El are both clear on where they stand at this point. She also heard Will encouraging Mike to say something so I think she gets what he was trying to do here. He was telling her he loved her platonically but the only time she actually looks annoyed is when he tells her she can fly. It makes her angry. He still only sees her as a superhero. It's a problem they still have to address. I do think at this point she is exasperated with both Mike and Will though. I like this motel gate theory. I think it makes a lot of sense. After all of this drama, El was soaked and exhausted (they all were exhausted) and it was late. They think the drama in Hawkins for the most part has passed so they aren't feeling as rushed to get back there. It makes sense they would have stopped to get some sleep for a few hours. And I think this is where things came out. Because I can see Will trying to keep his distance from Mike and El and neither of them letting him. And I think El is tired of this drama and may have gone to talk to him about it. Because I don't think she likes being in the middle of this. I think El and Will got into a fight. Their behavior when they get back to Hawkins is so distant. I will get into this in a bit. El and Will getting into a fight over the fact that they both kept things from each other when they thought they were so close makes sense to me. El lied about how perfect her relationship with Mike was and it hurt him, Will hid his feelings because he didn't want to hurt her. I think she'd be upset he did this. He was hurting and didn't tell her and she probably went on and on about Mike not knowing how much pain she caused him. I think this would be upsetting for her to learn. I don't think this is a serious fight. They will make up soon. But I think El at this point tells him that Mike and her broke up. I think it's also plausible that they stopped somewhere twice because it was a 2 day trip and it was already late this first time. But at some point after this Mike and El talk about Brenner a bit. So Will knows they are broken up and him and El aren't really talking and Mike notices this and checks in with Will about it. I think at this point the two of them are now in a position to actually talk about their relationship and get together. And I think everyone in the Cali gang basically knows but doesn't know for sure exactly.

Now once the show picks up after the 2 days what we see is them driving into Hawkins. I don't think the way they are sitting in this car means anything. They seem to just be scattered in the back of the van and it doesn't mean they sat like that for 2 days. I'm sure they moved around a bit. But when we see them everything is serious because they are realizing the extent of the damage in Hawkins. Everything is awful and it's the reason I think we don't see Mike and Will acting like a couple. There is a lot going on. And I like the idea of contrasting their relationship with Mike and El again. Where those two inserted their romantic relationship into every damn thing and caused drama with their friend group and got into a fight about their relationship in the middle of a tense situation about Billy. Mike and Will don't act like this. They don't need constant reassurance from each other so when shit is going down they don't need to insert their relationship into it. I think the fact that they are both still insecure about their identities plays into this too. Because they won't be all over each other in front of people, at least not until they get more comfortable and this didn't happen in the span of 2 days. So they are together but they are focused on fixing the problem in Hawkins. When they get to the hospital a few noteworthy things happen. Mike makes a beeline straight for Will when Lucas makes space for him on El's other side. Not that out of the ordinary, Mike and Will have personally space issues. But if you take into account how much both of them were spazzing at their close proximity this season, the fact that they no longer do this sticks out. Mike also puts himself between Will and El. They are fighting. El rests her head on Mike's shoulder platonically and Will notices. He isn't upset about this. And he's been upset watching those two all season. But now it's not bothering him. At the cabin they are all quiet when they are cleaning. Again, I don't think Mike and Will will act coupley in front of people for a bit, especially El. But El rolls her eyes at them. And I think this is more directed at Will than at Mike. Because Will has to ask Mike if she talked to him. He could have done this himself. They got pretty close so why didn't he check in? Because they are fighting. So he asks Mike about her. Mike rolls his eyes a bit too. He's on Will's side in this fight. He also initiates contact here. Once when he unnecessarily walks closer to Will and once on the couch when he puts his hand on his shoulder. Neither of them are resistant or spazz during these moments. It's not their first moment of physical contact. They are both comfortable with it in a way we haven't seen in a while. Will also confides in Mike easily. I thing we've seen in the past but he was all about ripping the band-aid off. He's not doing that here. He's bringing them closer. Moving forward to next season, I think it will probably open into a pretty chaotic scene if Will is getting Vecna'd. I'm not positive this is happening because Vecna is seriously injured and I'm not sure he can do this at the moment to anyone. And Will doesn't see any of his fears either. He's not shown the same type of image where he's trying to escape from a room and the door is blocked that everyone else sees. There is no Mike and his friends/family mocking him for being gay the way we saw Lucas being disappointed in Max. I think this is more along the lines of Will's powers manifesting which is why it seems similar - the clouds and everyone freezing behind him. Henry, El, and Kali all have similarities with their powers. So I think Will is seeing into the future. But I think this will cause some chaos because he looks like he's in a trance and they are panicking. Mike will have a hard time keeping his emotions in check in either case. And I think Will won't mind him protecting him (he never has before). And I think it will quickly be obvious to the group around them that they are together.

#byler #anti mileven #mike wheeler #will byers #gay mike wheeler #mike x will #el hopper

[valkyrayn]

I am back have yOU SEEN THE PV ???

screaming without the s

ok ok ok but like I M A G I N E ???

Marius being a brat with his little grin. Teasing you as you sit on his lap while he tries to work on the dress. He can't fathom why you're squirming so much — he offers you a fake pout, "is it the pins?" He sounds concerned, and he does a good job faking it. The perfect lilt in his voice. The annoying pout on his face. You practically want to smack—or kiss—it off of him, but you don't know which anymore. It's all blurring together. His hands are touching too lightly for you to be truly satisfied; alternating just enough to take the edge off. Still, it feels so far away, so distant. You don't even remember when you started riding his thigh, and that didn't feel like you. Too needy. Too desperate. But you've been stuck like this for what feels like hours and it's chipping away at every part of your resolve—at first, it was genuine; dedication to his work that drove you slightly to distraction. You bit your lip and powered through. Close your eyes, you thought. Breathe. And it worked — for awhile. But then he wanted you to sit on his lap. It seemed innocent enough, but if you were thinking at full capacity, you would have realized the impracticality sooner. Before your thighs were planted over his knee. Before his hum rumbled through you. "Mm. A little closer?" And it had all fallen from there. So easily developed into something more and not enough all too soon. Never enough because he wouldn't just touch you. Something about the dress. Something about the pins. Something about his work. (This was not for his work.) He'd pulled you into his body, grabbed you by the waist and molded you against his chest. You feel the slide like pinpricks up your spine before it stops. Your head sits in the crook of his neck, and you can feel his voice when he speaks next. "Perfect." You wish you could see where he was looking, but you think you'd combust.

Is it so impractical. Everything about this is unlike you, but your nerve-endings are practically singing, and what harm would it be to get out of your skin a little? Just tonight? Just for him? You're hardly thinking. And frustratingly, you feel like he knows, because every shift of your hips brings a chuckle, a smirk, the slightest breath of air. It all reads as affirmation. So ... if Marius knows, and you know ...what's the harm?

Sliding that starts as a test. That picks up when he doesn't immediately stop you. Roaming hands and heavy breathing. Hearts pounding in unison. He lets you have your fun. For now. Lazy. Languid. Until you start getting vocal. Suddenly, his hands are at your hips again, making you gasp, and he's back to his usual self. Acting concerned when you struggle in his grasp. A "did I squeeze too tight, jie jie?" or "be careful, you wouldn't want to get hurt!" spoken in those normal, teasing tones that turn you on (god, why does it turn you on?!) infuriates you. Make no mistake. No matter how placid of an act he might play, Marius von Hagen will always be in control.

[also please make him a dom bottom I need that in my l i f e so so so sexy when a little bastard man does practically nothing but absolutely WRECKS thank you bless you have some food since you have given me so much]

GOOD GOD WTFUCK THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD MY BRAIN IS MELTING. HELLO PLS I AM AN INSTANT FAN OF YOUR WRITING

THE TEASING HIS ROAMING HANDS?!?! THE WAY HE KNOWS HOW TURNED ON YOU ARE JUST FROM HIS TEASING GODDDHHDJDJD PLEASE tysm for feeding me such good food. i wanna yell and run laps around my house rn. WE NEED MORE MARIUS SMUT

and omg funny thing i was in the middle of writing a dom bottom marius. lets just he’s going to be gripping those hips so hard and make you ride him until you’re nothing but a vibrating trembling mess on top of him—getting impaled by his cock over and over again…

inhales EXHALES FUCK YOU MARIUS VON HAGEN

#brainrot #marius von hagen smut #brainrotdump #cn server spoiler #tears of themis smut #brionnne