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butchsophiewalten · 3 months

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For the character opinion bingo can yuo do felix..

This fucking guy. I have such a torrid relationship with this character. I've spent a lot of time joking about actively hating him, just because (especially back in 2021, when I first got into The Walten Files) there was such a gross oversaturation of these terrible, bland, thoughtless interpretations of the character. Like so many people saw this really interesting sort of character, and watered him down into something that was more personally palatable and sympathetic for them.

I don't know. Felix is so uninteresting when you don't hold him accountable for anything. I remember a lot of people trying to pin the responsibility for his actions onto the other people in his life, chiefly Jack, because they sympathized with his personal struggles and wanted to woobify him into a character who had never really done anything wrong. Which is such a shame, because that sort of wishy-washy attitude a lot of the fandom had taken towards his actions really soured me on him for a while. And that's not fair, because he's a genuinely fantastic and really interesting character.

I've always loved Felix when it comes to canon depictions of him, y'know? Because it's so free of that kind of Fandom Baggage. Even the good fandom Felix content has to bear the burden of that baggage a lot of the time, and it's worsened for it. But it's like, man, I always forget how fucking fascinating Felix is until we get some Fun New Canon, or someone in the fandom writes or draws something really good, and then it all comes back to me. I'm dying to see more of this character. I really want to get further into his head. I want to see exactly the depths of depravity he's willing to go to save his own skin, and I want to see how he justifies it to himself all the while.

I think a lot about his Formerly Positive relationships with other characters, too, because I think even before things went bad, Felix was always pretty self-centered. Very upbeat and overfriendly to the point where it seems, very obviously, like he's compensating for something. I think he cares a lot about what people think of him, but doesn't necessarily value other peoples' opinions. I think he very genuinely thinks of himself as the smartest person in the room, but is chronically resentful of everybody else in his life for outsmarting him. I really love the idea of everything with him being this sort of paradox. He's so self-deprecating, thinks so little of himself, but would move hell and high water to avoid actually changing and improving anything about his life. He's always so sorry, when he does something wrong and it blows up in his face, but the last thing he'd ever be willing to do is try and do better next time. He treats every tragedy that befalls him as some terrible innevitability he's subjected to, instead of the natural consequences of his own, controllable behavior.

I've already said I think Jack was a bit of an emotional anchor for him, in a way where Jack was this sort of representation of a Successful, Fulfilled man, so Felix really craved validation from him. He would always try, with varying degrees of success, to be on Jack's good side, because having Jack tell him he had done a good job made him feel that much closer to being the Pinnacle of Success he imagined Jack to be. And in this way, Jack was sort of dehumanized by Felix from the very beginning. Jack, in many ways, stopped being Felix's friend, an important person in his life, and started being this idyllic representation of a Good Man that Felix both resented and desperately clung to.

I think about this idea a lot when rewatching Guilty and hearing Felix try and justify his actions to himself through the lens of how Jack would feel. He had to bury Edd & Molly, because Jack would be devastated to see them like that. He could never do that to Jack, his best friend. Jack would be devastated. That's why it has to be a secret, why Jack can never know. He's doing good, he's protecting Jack's feelings. It's such a fundamental disconnect from the reality of the situation, and it feels to me a lot like he's projecting this imagined idea of Jack Walten onto the circumstances to soothe himself, and in the process is denying the real Jack Walten his autonomy in the situation. Jack doesn't get to be told what happened and decide for himself how to feel, Felix gets to decide how Jack would probably feel, and act on that instead.

Imagine for a moment, this same situation, but involving something much less terrible and serious. Maybe Jack has a nice vase in his house that he likes and is important to him. Maybe one day, Felix comes over and, when Jack is in the other room, accidentally knocks it on the floor, and it shatters. Felix, imagining how upset Jack would be to know his favorite vase was broken, sweeps it discreetly into the garbage, and plays stupid when Jack asks about it later. Now, Jack: 1. Never gets the closure of knowing that happened to this thing that he valued so dearly. He never knows if it was stolen or misplaced and is in one piece somewhere out in the world, or if it really was broken, and he should give up trying to recover it. 2. Never gets to decide what should happen in the aftermath of this vase being broken. Maybe he, too, was just going to sweep it into the garbage. But maybe, beforehand, he would take the opportunity to mourn this broken thing before it was out of his life forever. Or maybe he'd try to glue the shards back together. The point is not what he does, but the fact that he was never given the chance to decide what he would do.

I'm worried that last paragraph might come off as pretty patronizing. The point I'm trying to make is just that I don't think Felix really considers Jack as an autonomous person, and that's a really interesting part of their dynamic to me that I think is relatively really underutilized.

Apparently I have a lot to say about Felix Kranken. There's a lot more I could say, but this post is so fucking long already, holy shit.

#ask #This is my first time really sitting down and drawing Felix and trying to make him look. like. accurate to the vision of him in my mind #it was kind of therapeutic honestly! it feels good to get My Take on him out into the world #felix

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ssadumba55 · 4 months

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Being Peggy Carter's Naive and Gentle Younger Brother Would Include...

Request: I saw in your fandom list that you write for agent carter!!! Could you maybe write some headcannoms for what being her younger brother (or sibling you prefer!) who knows about her life and everything, but is a very soft and gentle person - though a bit naive at times with trusting nature?

She is insanely protective over you, like she tries to avoid telling you too much because she doesn't want you to get kidnapped for information and when you do eventually draw it out, she's obsessed with your safety.

And she'll be suspicious of everyone you talk to, even if they're a normal everyday person she doesn't want you to get hurt. You know she's just trying to look out for you but it can get annoying and overbearing sometimes

She is a really good sister though, she will banter with you back and forth and the two of you will throw insults as well

Often times people will overlook her because she's a woman, which sometimes works to her advantage, but if she needs a man to do something for her she won't hesitate to call you up. She has used you for more missions than you can count. You know that you're safe the whole time though; she'd never let anything happen to you

You and Jarvis get along so well. He seriously loves that you're so normal and sweet compared to your sister, the opposite of her pretty much in every way. He will literally just hang out with you at random times

You have to dress a lot of her wounds, you know the ones that Jarvis doesn't get to first. Because of this you've grown accustomed to storing first aid supplies

Worrying about her constantly. Not because she's a woman, you know she's fully capable but because you'd hate to see anything happen to your amazing badass older sister

She will protect you from anything and anyone. You'll never have a toxic ex because she wouldn't allow anyone who hurts you to live that long

Lots of late night worrying but also lots of late nights spent reminiscing and laughing with her over memories; from your childhood and from her adventures. There's never a dull moment between the two of you

She buys you food to make up for it. Plenty of baked goods especially, whatever your favourite is she'll get you whatever you want

Often times, she stands up for you when you can't bring yourself to say things. She always knows the right thing to say and she often leaves the people who are bothering you tongue tied

#marvel imagine #agent carter imagine #agent carter headcanons #agent carter x reader #marvel x reader #peggy carter imagine #peggy carter x reader #male reader

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nrdmssgs · 5 months

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How to not motivate your favorite author to write

So recently this happened to a very dear friend of mine. And then this happened. I'm not tagging her deliberately, to not drag her name into any shitshow. I love her dearly and will fight with tooth and claw for this person.

I will be referring to my personal experience not because I want to make this 'a story about precious me', but because I can guarantee, that overall pattern of creative process will go along with these examples, and I don't want to torture others with interviews on their particular creative process examples.

I want to address that anon and talk a bit about how creative processes work. I am not a writer, but I have two art degrees, so I just happen to know a thing or two about creativity and its ways in human brains.

How creative process differs from creative outcome

Imagine a situation: you roam around your favorite network and find this one cool author, that seems to create something especially for you. I like their characters, their storyline, their ways with the language and overall scenery. You and them seems like a match made in heavens. There is only one 'but': you crave more.

You find your perfect fic, you read every chapter and end on a painful cliffhanger, poor you? But what if I tell you, that to complete this chapter, your favorite author had to process a ton of information, their own suggestions, 'what ifs', questions around every single detail, different dialogue and action options? What you see is a perfectly cut ice cube, but it took a freaking iceberg to make it. By the way, the same goes for illustrations. Remember this short comix?

Well, it took a day to create it, and actually drawing it took only 4 hours. Another 8 hours were spent on concept. Here are just 2 pages of my ideas, and I have like 8 pages of this.

And sometimes authors don't even write down their draft thoughts, but it doesn't mean, these thoughts doesn't exist. We are thinking about our stories while going for groceries, driving a car, doing laundry, taking shower and so on.

So if you read something, that is one-page long - it doesn't mean, that your favorite author spent an average 'fill one page with text' time interval to create it. You are reading an outcome, while the author went through the entire creative process!

How creating one thing may help you to create another thing

Sometimes you need to practice, just to get to know a new character/situation.

I had such difficulties, writing Nikto, that I wrote this and this just to bring this marvelous character to the latest part of my ongoing series. Yes, it took me a month to figure out this character, but it was worth it. So please, bear with an author, that makes little attempts, before going back to their magnum opus. Sketches and renders can and will help them evaluate the story, that you`ve fallen in love with in the first place!

Sometimes you need a break.

If you thought, reading some angst was not easy - just know, that writing it was also not easy. Sometimes authors speak on deeply personal topics, sometimes they express their negative emotions through hard and draining scenes and stories.

And before you say 'oh, but the author knew in advance what is yet to happen' - let me remind you, that the author relieves everything, their characters go through.

Creating something completely knew helps author to gain powers, to take a step further, to breathe and calm down.

Sometimes you just feel like shit.

You wake up, revisit, what you wrote yesterday, and you hate it. And you hate yourself for setting the bar so low. And a very right thing to do at this moment is to get yourself distracted by something completely new. Or even to force yourself to not go back to creating for a bit, so that your 'creativity muscles' get some rest.

So please don't be disappointed by your favorite creator for paying attention to other media/fandom/story/character. It may be their way (long and complicated) to go back to that very work, you liked so much.

What doesn't motivate authors

Punching them with 'hey, stop whatever you're doing and go back to that thing, I LIKED'. This will only make your fave creator freeze in a cycle of self-hate, diffidence, art blocks.

Comparison of their works. "Your Ghost fics are top, so stop writing about Gaz and turn into a full time Ghost praiser". Again, this won't motivate your fave to change their writing habits or preferences, this will make them fill guilty every single time they create something against your preferences. That 10-30-50 sketches with Gaz will eventually help them go back and write something for Ghost!

#nrdspeaks #nrdmssgs

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rainbowsky · 1 year

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Yibo-Official international accounts

I've gotten a lot of asks about the new Twitter account, so I guess I'll finally address these accounts Yibo-Official has created on international platforms:

Yibo-Official Instagram <- fake?

Yibo-Official YouTube <- fake?

Yibo-Official Twitter <- FAKE!!

Because the Twitter account has been shown to be fake, this calls into question the authenticity of all of them for me. The fan club that shared the Twitter account is the same one that shared the others. Proceed with caution.

However etiquette is still important so I'm going to leave this post up.

Let's talk a bit about etiquette...

International account etiquette

For those who are maybe newer to the fandom or who haven't spent a lot of time on the Weibo supertopics, you might not be aware of the rules and protocols turtles have over there.

Here are the rules in brief:

Never use their real names or tag their accounts.

Nor any other public figure.

Stay 'on-topic' and in your own lane, don't attack others.

Observe and respect top-bottom dynamics.

Don't use other people's content without permission, always attribute.

No feminizing or denigrating, or anything that can damage their image.

No sharing of private information or media about GGDD, no oversexualizing.

No fandom policing or spamming of the supertopic.

No sharing of anti material.

No reposting of content from other platforms.

No spreading of unconfirmed rumors and gossip.

Don't fill the supertopic with unrelated or personal posts.

No unauthorized contests or lotteries.

No merch or sales without admin approval.

There are some people who feel strongly that those rules should apply to international platforms as well. I've always disagreed with that to some degree. I talk about that a bit in this post. However, with GG and DD going more international these rules are becoming more and more relevant to us.

The first rule of BJYX is...

However one of the rules I feel absolutely must apply here as well as on Weibo, is rule #1: Never tag their official accounts or refer to them using their real names.

There are many good reasons for this, but ultimately what it boils down to is,

"what happens in turtledom stays in turtledom."

Everything we do here is for turtle eyes only. When you tag outside accounts or mention/tag their names or initials, you bring others into our world. That crossover can harm GG and DD in various ways.

This is something I talk about in my Fandom Etiquette guide, and it's something I feel very strongly about.

Just look at Twitter, where BXG are often tagging CPN posts, fan art and photo edits with GG and DD's individual names. Look at all the fan wars that causes when solos browsing their hashtags stumble across CPN and turtle fan content. It's completely out of control.

We don't like it when solos tag their hateful rhetoric with #bjyx or #yizhan, and this is why. It invades and impacts our experience of fandom. Please respect the fandom experience of others. Even solos you dislike deserve this courtesy, and as I have already stated, fan wars are harmful. We need to do whatever we can to prevent them.

And it's not just solos we should be concerned about. Anyone interested in GG or DD, when going to Twitter, is likely to browse #wangyibo and #xiaozhan. The last thing we should want them to stumble across is a fanfic prompt about spitroasting, pornographic fanart of GGDD, or CPN clowning.

Respect GG and DD's personal reputations.

It's fine to clown, it's fine to write fanfic and draw fanart - even smut. But it's not OK to make that a feature of what passersby will see when looking them up. STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE.

This is doubly true with their official accounts. Just don't do it.

And this goes triply for tagging official accounts in fandom disputes. Incredibly I've seen this happen on Twitter quite a bit, including solos tagging official endorsement accounts to slander BXG.

Do I really need to explain why that's an insane, ridiculous, utterly disruptive and awful thing to do?

EDIT: And toxic XFX on Twitter are currently tagging Yibo-Official on turtle CPN posts, trying to start a war. As I said in this update, blocking is the best protection for turtles and for Yibo-Official. Toxics can't tag and harass over posts they can't even see.

Bottom line: Just don't tag their official accounts. Don't comment in their account threads with anything Yizhan related - or anything related to the other (i.e. don't mention GG in DD's comment threads, or vice versa). Don't mention their real names in your clownery.

Don't do it.

Stay in your own lane.

A note on authenticity

I waited to post about these because I wanted to be sure they weren't fakes. While DD's fan club did post them on Weibo, I wanted to be doubly sure because of how misleading fakes can be. Especially since there were issues with one of the videos being removed from the YouTube channel (it was later restored).

The release of the Hidden Blade roadshow video on YT confirmed for me that this is highly unlikely to be a fake account. The video uses English captions in the same style as the Chinese ones that appeared on Weibo, which means that whoever added the captions had to have access to the original footage.

The amount of effort someone would have to go to in order to fake that clip, it's unlikely to be fake. They'd have to hunt down all the original clips (if the footage was even ever released previously), edit it precisely and then add captions. Not something I see a faker bothering with.

So while these accounts will likely never be 100% verified, I think we can be reasonably certain of their authenticity.

UPDATE: The Twitter account was a fake, so I think that we need to consider that all of them might be fake because the fan club that shared the Twitter link was the same one that shared the link to the YouTube and Instagram accounts.

Update 2: They are very likely real. I explain why here.

Is Tumblr coming next?

Some people asked me if Yibo-Official will create a Tumblr account. You people are monsters!! 😅 No, please no! The last thing I need to worry about is DD's team reading our clownery here! 😅

Rest assured, this is highly unlikely to ever happen. Tumblr is far too tiny of an audience to make maintaining an account here even remotely worth it. Especially since most of the people here also use the other major international platforms. There would be no point.

EDIT: Follow-up post here.

#bjyx #yizhan #bjyxszd #fandom reflections #yibo official #dd twitter #dd instagram #dd youtube #ask

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mysticarts · 7 days

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Do you have any fun facts abt your OC's? (Any Fandom would do.)

Have a good day/Night! :)

OHHHHH YEAHHHH THIS GONNA BE A LONNNNG POST.

So I have a lot of LMK ocs, like a A LOT. Some I never even introduced on this blog yet. And I know some people may even forget some of my LMK ocs. So imma draw some of the OC's introduced in the past. So let's start!-

LMK OCS:

Jingwei

Jingwei here is Aroace! She never really liked the idea of romance in her head.

Jingwei is Hui Ying and Tai's grandmother! (She found a way to make their father without doing sexual reproduction)

Jingwei is a actual person in Chinese mythology, being transformed into a goddess after dying by drowning, and Transfroms into a bird to try and fill up the sea! (This oc of Jingwei still does that, but does have breaks once and a while)

Absolute Fashion Icon. Jingwei loves fashion. She loves dresses, she loves the pretty hairstyles and crowns, she loves Absolutely anything girly.

When Jingwei died and became a goddess, she was only fifteen years old. Because of this, most Celestials never took her seriously except the workers assigned to her and Chang'e

Due to dying by drowning in the sea, Jingwei regularly cuts her hair short because with long hair, Jingwei can feel the weight holding her down, and Jingwei hates that feeling.

Jingwei was Peng's NUMBER 1 HATER since the moment she saw him. She saw his arrogance and wasn't vibing with it.

Daiyu

(first pic is younger Daiyu, second pic is Daiyu during the LMK series)

Daiyu is literally a shadow. Like, her body is made up of shadows, sometimes when feeling extreme emotions parts of her body turn into shadows. Most of the time it's her hair.

Daiyu was created by the Chinese God Xuanwu. Xuanwu wanted more workers and maids, so he made people out of shadows, Daiyu was one of these many people

Daiyu was actually taken away from Xuanwu at a young age, as Xuanwu noticed that Daiyu would make a great soilder, so He sent Daiyu away to properly train and become a soilder for the Celestial realm.

For most of Daiyu's life after becoming a soilder, was to protecting the Mother of the West. She graduated as she kid, and spent her teenage years protecting the mother, she never really had a proper childhood. Although she stopped being a guard for the Mother of the West when she was chosen for an important quest with Jingwei and one other.

Daiyu has a lot of battle scars. I mean A LOT of them. But she takes extreme pride in them, She'd tell stories of her battles to more younger kids.

Due to being raised as a child Solider, Daiyu never got to experience feminine things, or enjoy them. Daiyu does try to be more Feminie, but she still feels a bit uncomfortable whenever she is. Jingwei helps her with that though!

Daiyu is Macaque's mother! (Suprise!)

Tai

Doesn't like physical touch much. Despite Hui Ying trying to hug Tai sometimes, Tai usually dosent hug or touch anyone, and that extends to family. He usually leaves or makes things for people tp show his affection.

Absolutely loves animals. He protects them with his life. Especially Cats and Dogs. He loves those two animals the most. That's why he usually helps out at the local pet adoption center.

Weird enough, Tai loves classical music. He knew how to play the cello really well at one point, but due to his teachers shaming him for it, he quit. The only time Tai ever pulls out his Cello now is when Hui Ying is sad.

Tai, lucky for him, got his mother's powers, which involve light. Because of this, Tai can sometimes be a menace, turning invisible and pranking people.

Tai was rather taught not to express or show his feelings. He was basically shoved Toxic masculinity since he was a kid. Tai would have been a much bigger jerk if Hui Ying and his dad didn't encourage him to speak his mind and to be himself.

Hui Ying

Funny enough, Hui is terrified of animals. Especially dogs. No one really knows why, but she just is. Tai is trying to make her get rid of that fear however

Hui Ying like her grandmother, absolutely loves Fashion. She loves dresses styling her hair, and all the girly stuff. But also Hui Ying likes to sneak around and be rebellious once in a blue moon.

You know in Tai and Hui's design they have the sun and moon tattoos on their arms? Yeah well, they didn't get those willingly. When they both hit puberty and their powers got heightened, they got those tattoos. However, while Tai's Tattos where celebrated, Hui Ying got reprimanded for them, as the other Celestial Maidens stated that it was a sign of impurity.

Hui Ying usually would hide her tattoos, but when she arrived down to the Mortal realm with Tai to live with Yujin, she would show her tattoos as a attempt to fit in. Luckily enough, it did work.

Loves music! However, unlike her brother, Hui Ying likes Jazz more than classical!

Yujin

Yujin is biologically related to PIF, being her younger sister. Yujin did look a lot like PIF when younger and in past designs, but she grew more into her own person.

Yujin, as you all know, had a emperor as a husband. Until her husband died, leaving her to rule his empire alone. And due to them not having children, Yujin's Husband's bloodline ended.

As much as Yujin loves dresses, her royal duties require her to be outside and walking around a lot. Because of this, Yujin has more pants in her wardrobe than dresses.

You know the horns Yujin has in her design? Yeah, that's her royal crown. It was a gift from DBK, as Yujin was friends with DBK since she was a teen.

Due to committing Several Felonies as a teen, Yujin got kicked out of the Celestial realm, becoming a human. However, Yujin kept on traveling with friends until she found immortality.

before Redson had the Sahmadi Fire, Yujin was the holder of it. However due to Yujin not having a child, the power was passed onto the nest blood relative who had a child, which was PIF's family. Let's just say Yujin cried for hours when she found out.

If you're wondering why Yujin never had a child, it's because she's infertile. She's rather sensitive about the topic, because she always wanted to birth and raise a child.

Shuimu!

Shuimu has amnesia, she totally forgot who she was before Tai and Hui Ying freed her from her prison. However, her body remembers. So whenever Shuimu eats noodles, no matter how good they are, she'll throw it up.

Sometimes Shuimu is afraid to talk or that she can't due to being chained underwater by her mouth for millennia. Sometimes even Shuimu dosent know why.

Shuimu feels very uncomfortable around Wukong. Again, her mind may not remember what happened, but her body does. So of course you're gonna feel uncomfortable when the guy who chained you is by you.

Shuimu dosent really know affection, as she never experiences it. That's why whenever she gets treated with affection, she gets suspicious.

Even though Shuimu is close to Hui, she's also a pretty close friend to Tai on his own terms. Tai would usually teach Shuimu about the modern world.

Ling!

Ling, like her father, has tattoos on her arms! But instead of moon motif, it's waves. However, Ling dosent take pride in this, and regularly uses Glamour to hide them.

Ling loves diving, even at the local beach, she'll wear a normal suit, hop into the water, and not come back up until a few hours later. This is because Ling can breath underwater!

Has a personal vendetta against her magic. Ling refuses to use her magic, and relies on potions and her smarts for combat. Ling is pretty physically strong to!

A professional honor roll student. Ling always had straight A's since grade seven. This isn't because of her parents pressure. Ling strives for good grades to make herself proud, to make herself feel accomplished as to avoid the feeling of loneliness

That's not all of my LMK ocs, but I haven't finished the other ocs lore yet, so yall will have to wait!

So, onto Lackadaisy!

Carmen!

Absolutely a hopeless Romantic. You'll never find more of a hopeless romantic and a hypewoman than Carmen. She'll always support you!

No filter, unless if speaking in German counts. If something happens that Carmen called out, she won't hesitate to say: I TOLD YOU SO!

Funny enough, Carmen dosent like chocolate much! She prefers vanilla flavors over chocolates.

Carmen is a daddy's girl, she loves spending time with her dad it makes her happy. Without her dad, Carmen would probably not know how to weild a gun!

In a sequel series when Nia is a full fledged adult.......Carmen's dead. The reason why? It depends if Carmen ever gets a lover/shipped with someone: Either Childbirth or getting killed by a gang when she tried to protect Nia.

Avis

Avis has a small amount of Japanese heritage in her, but her parents hid it as much as possible.

Avis loves anything with Carmel In it. It's one of the main reasons why she named Carmen, 'Carmen'

Avis's Maiden last name was Parr

Elias taught Avis how to weild a gun, just wanting to make sure she's safe. Little did he know that the same gun used to teach Avis was the same gun involved in her death (ooooo lore :D)

HAS THE MOST STRONGEST LOUISIANA ACCENT IN HISTORY!

Thatll be all! Be free to ask more questions!

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coyotestarcraft · 1 year

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I Need To Know

Fandom: Good Omens

Poly!Aziraphale x Reader x Crowley

⚠️PLEASE DO NOT READ IF ANYTHING LIKE THIS TRIGGERS YOU!⚠️

A/N: It’s been over a year since loss of my grandfather that I miss dearly, there’s a lot I want to say about him, but I’ll wait till the end, if you want to read it or not I don’t care, it’s just a way to show how much I loved him.

So please read this story and know that even though you’ve gotten into many fights or quarrels with your grandparents, they still love you, so go hug them or call them and tell them that you love them. Spend as much time with them as possible, because you never know when you’ll get to have that chance to spend time with them again.

And I call him papaw.

______________________

First Person POV

I sat on that grass ledge expressionless.

I wish I had more time, more memories, more.....anything. I wished had spent more time with him, I wished had given him more hugs and kisses when I left for school each morning.

Now that I sit here and think about all of it, it doesn’t matter anymore....none of it will happen again because he’s gone...forever.

He used to say to me, “I love ya, but I don’t like ya.” I chuckle at that, it’s the first time in a while since a smile has taken over my face.

He used to aggravate the crap outta me, and honestly, I miss it more than I know. I hated it but as I sit here now I want that back more than ever.

“Y/N?” A familiar voice softly calls out, pulling me from my thoughts, I turn to see Aziraphale and Crowley standing between two trees and forest behind them.

“I was just thinking again, about him.” I say as I turn back around to stare off into the sunset that sets just above the horizon out far in the distance.

Maybe, just maybe I could ask.

“Aziraphale?”

He comes and sits next to me along with Crowley who sits to the right of me.

I need to know.

Now.

“Yes my dear?” He wraps an arm around my shoulder, looking at me curiously.

It’s now or never.

“Will you please....go...check on him?” My voice breaks as I try my best not to break down in tears.

“It’s against-“ Aziraphale gets cut off as he looks at my face and sees how much I need him to do this.

“I will see what I can do, if I have to fall to make your pain go away love, then I’m willing to do this for you.” He puts his forehead to mine.

Just one day is all I want, one time is all I need.

“Thank you.” I sniffled, it was hard not to break down, but after not knowing if he’s okay is rough.

I just need that feeling of relief knowing he’s no longer in pain.

*Timeskip To a Week Later*

Crowley’s flat had it’s comforts, he had his plants, Aziraphale had some books stashed somewhere and Crowley gave me my own room with a desk for drawing and to just hang out it when things go to be too much, it was a safe space.

I sat at my desk drawing away, Crowley was in the plant room yelling per usual.

To others it may have frightened them, but I laugh, it’s typical Crowley, the demon I have fallen in love with for a long time.

The sound of the door opening and closing is what draws me away from my desk.

“I’m back loves.” Aziraphale calls out.

I walk out and smile at Aziraphale who gives a wide smile back, he never did that unless it was good news.

He had been gone the past week, up in heaven doing work.

“I’ve got some good news my love,” he opens the door, and there stands my grandfather.

I stand there wide eyed and mouth agape.

“Hey huckleberry.” He says.

Tears fill my eyes and before I realized what I was doing, my arms wrap around his shoulders and I’m sobbing.

“You’re-you’re, okay, your not in pain anymore!” I smile appears on my face, I look at him and noticed how young he looks since the last time I’d seen him.

“Holy crap, when did you look like this! You had white hair and everything since we’d last seen each other!” I laugh.

“Things change dear, even in heaven.” He says.

“I guess so.”

We chat for a bit and I talk about how Aziraphale and Crowley have brought happiness into my life, how I’m working on bettering my mental health, and much more.

Eventually he has to leave, I give him a long hug and a kiss on the cheek, “I’m happy knowing your okay and not in that hospital bed in pain. It hurt when mom got the call about your passing.”

“You know I’ll always be here, in your heart.” He smiles.

“Yeah, I know pops.” I laugh.

“Please come back and visit, I miss you more than ever.” I say.

“Alright, but you know I’ll have to aggravate you.” He laughs, making me laugh along with him.

“Okay.” I say, he walks out shutting the door.

“Do you feel better?” Crowley asks.

I turn to him with tears rushing down my face, but I have smile, “yeah.”

He knows I need him, he knows I love him, he knows I won’t forget him.

THE END!

Rant down below! ⬇️

In case anyone wants to know, his name was John, that’s all I’m giving to keep his full name private.

I think he knew I loved him a lot even though I didn’t show it much, and yes the name huckleberry was an actual nickname he gave me and I hated it, but after he passed I came to like it.

I almost cried while writing this but I stayed strong.

I wrote this not for fun, but to get people to realize that you NEED to spend as much time with your loved ones as possible, not just your grandparents, but your parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, whoever.

It may seem like you have all the time in the world to spend with them, but that can change in a heartbeat.

I feel so guilty that I didn’t spend as much time with my grandfather as I should’ve.

Anyway! I hope you read this story and learned to not take time for granted, you never know when you’ll have that chance to spend time your relatives again.

#Good Omens #good omens crowley #good omens aziraphale #aziraphale x reader x crowley #fanfic #fan fiction

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demoiselledefortune · 3 months

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Character meme: Magneto 2, 7, 8, 22, 25

Oh Magneto! It's been so long since I got to ramble about him, thank you for asking :)

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

The time he spent as a hospital orderly in Haifa. There's something so humble about it and it stands out in his job resume.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Most of the fandom loves exploring his relationship with his family and with jewishness in a way the canon doesn't do enough of (last time i checked, i haven't read comics in a while). I love that they do both those things because they're two of my favourite aspects of his character.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I hate when fandom draws exclusively from X Men First Class and the following films. I liked that movie at the time (less so the following ones) but it's also very flawed and it's a very specific version of the character that doesn't fall into line with my favorite bits from the comics character. For details about his experiences during the Shoah for exemple, I much prefer Greg Pak's Magneto : Testament as a source. Also I have some issues with Fassbender.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

I feel this converges with the previous questions. Another thing I like in fics is how often he's drawn as a queer character. I feel canon is very close to doing that with Xavier and Erik's relationship but definitly not quite, and in this case, I think it really adds a great dimension to him! Especially in old fanfics which envision Ian McKellen as Magneto, there's a quality to exploring the history of queer identity through him (and Xavier too) which is often fascinating in fanfics.

Something I don't like is when fanfics forget he's Jewish! You'd think it wouldn't happen, but people want to write fluffy Christmas fics about Jewish characters all the time.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

It's kind of hard to remember because my first meeting with the character was from the old '90s cartoon. I remember about him and Xavier hanging out in the savage land during what seems forever. I was very intrigued by him because he was a villain (or at least introduced and drawn as one) yet he always seemed to end up on the side of the good guys by chance. That really drew me to him!!

Now I think very similar things. I think he really manages to be one of the most iconic anti villain of modern culture in a way that isn't always flawless but is striking and fascinating. If modern comics didn't betray that either, he's also singularly a character who used to be a villain who now stands as a more complex and shadowed role without usually being drawn as fully "redeemed" but definitly hasn't been a proper antagonist either for a very long time. And that's awesome. Also I just really love him as a character, his voice, his gruffness, his tendency towards grandiose statement and his sarcasm. He's just one of my favorite character of all time!

#meme answer #magneto

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tennessoui · 1 year

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Hello! I am primarily a silent lurker online (so apologies if I’m doing this incorrectly), but I wanna thank you for the treasure trove that is your blog! Your aus are wild and beautiful and absolutely delicious. Over the past few days I have spent oodles and noodles of time scrolling through all your different tags—I’ve become a bit obsessed. Normally I stick to reading on ao3, but I’ve learned how to use the tumblr app for this blog and only this blog. I’ve turned on notifications (again, for this blog and only this blog). I’ve saved thirty-something screenshots. I’ve made designated bookmark folders. I have essentially built an underground bunker-archive of tennessoui content that can withstand the apocalypse.

Your creche rivalry au in particular has seized control of my body, mind, and soul.

(I imagine that baby Obikin pre-Valentine Disaster Day would have had the most disgustingly sweet greetings for each other every single morning, even if they had a sleepover and saw each other ten minutes prior. I can see them walking into the same room and making eye contact and—the air purifies. The flowers bloom. An angel choir starts singing somewhere in the background. Their creche mates need to get checked for cavities daily, their creche masters express concern to the doctors about diabetes, and any Sith within a three mile radius of Obikins’ twin megawatt smiles are instantly vaporized. Palpatine is only able to move in on Anikin after the boy starts hating Obi-Wan. In the meantime, it’s blindingly bright, hopelessly besotted, puppy-love-smiles all around.)

I place this humble offering at the altar of your divine authorial temple (and I can all but promise I will be back with more). Please have a wonderful day.

omg omg omg this is an ongoing omg

first of all this is so sweet and also incredibly flattering 🥺 thank you so much for trying to understand how tumblr works just for my blog i honestly still don’t know how to work tumblr and I’ve been here for years!!! and omg the idea of screenshots 🥰🙏 what is worth screenshotting on this blog I promise you can find shit posts anywhere lol

BUT omg no I love the crèche rivalry au and I haven’t thought about it in so long but this art and headcanon for it is just so absolutely beautiful ……

Like holy shit holy shit?? I love their expressions and they’re so cute and innocent and he says “hi obi” which is pure Anakin characterization and then obi-wan says “good morning Anakin” which is in turn just as perfect of a characterization for obi-wan!!!

You’re incredibly right these two babies were just in such puppy love that it had a similar effect as radiation poisoning, and everyone around them had to take shifts to not overdose on it all

Gosh this is so incredibly cute—I think there are only a few posts that focus on them as babies in the crèche in that AU tag, but you’ve given me an amazing reason to try and write something for that era of them (maybe a ficlet/fic that is equal parts their disastrous Valentine’s Day as absolute babies and then the Valentine’s Day they have when they’re older and adults who hate each other) because holy shit I’m obsessed with how cute this is!!!

Thank you so much for drawing and reading and subscribing for notifs from me even though tumblr is a weird place even for people who have been on it forever (me) —if you ever wanna come out of lurkdom again I’ll welcome you with open arms this is amazing work and I’d love anything you could draw for the obikin fandom!! You’re so talented 🤩💙 and so sweet 🥰🥺

#asks #though honestly if you unsubscribe from me I would so totally understand #I will post like 50 times a day sometimes I can’t even stand it #but this is so awesome to get and I really really love this art I’ve saved it #and im gonna look at it forever #I need more baby obikin in my life like this and you did it so well 💙💙💙💙

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rustingcat · 6 months

Text

20 questions game

Thanks @fazedlight for the tag:)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11, but I think most of them are art.

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

82,665. But there's a good chance I'll pass the 100k mark a bit after supercorptober!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supercorp.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Privileges

Of science and Love

The Power of Pasta

Ghostly Presence

The Art of The Game

(Skipped one artwork due to the fic being tied to someone else)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to respond to every comment.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Alone

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Beside Alone, they all have happy endings!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I had a few comments with a commenter who was very keen to let me know just how much they hate Kara for some reason. But they haven't responded to recent chapters.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have yet to attempt smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not written any. I am a fan of AUs, though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know. I know that my art has been running around some Facebook groups, though.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes! I have 2 WIPs that I'm cowriting, and I'm super excited about them! There's one project I hope me and my friend will be able to finish before the end of the year (though with current progress I'm not sure anymore), and another one that's gonna be a really really big AU that I'm really looking forward to (although I'll be grateful if we manage to finish it by the end of next year).

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Supercorp has a really strong hold on me. This is the ship that made me start being active on tumblr, draw fanart, and let me discover my love for writing for the first time in my life. Saying that, Percy/Vex from critical role had my heart for quite a while, I think that at some point I read almost all of their AO3.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I intend to finish all my WIPs. That's why after I finish The Art Of The Game, I plan to start uploading only once most of the fic is done.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at structuring the story. I have pages upon pages of story flow and arcs for most of my big project. I think just for TAOTG I have 7 different files (probably more).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, so much. For now, I'll say that I have no idea how to use comma correctly and just use it randomly😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't tried, but it I'll probably ask a native speaker. (Or someone who's really into kryptonian)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supercorp!

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

My proudest work is probably The Art Of The Game. It's my biggest project yet, I've spent a LOT of time prepping the story structure, and it's also my first fic, and the reason I started writing in the first place. You can probably see my writing journey just by reading it (even if I did edit the first few chapters after the fact).

No pressure tags! @snowydragonscave @inkedroplets @spaceman-earthgirl @missluthorwillseeyounow

#ask game #rhat was fun #supercorp #cat talks

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decepti-thots · 7 months

Note

re: meta again. first, thank you for the long answer! you have a lot of interesting points, e.g. how fandom spaces influence how you interact with media: my first fandom space was restricted to teenagers who mostly knew nothing about media analysis (and it was also animanga haha), and then I moved onto tumblr, where - in my memory - most users were slightly older teenagers but still didn't know much about media analysis. there probably was meta somewhere (apparently on LJ?), but I didn't see (or notice?) a lot of it. which possibly also was because I changed fandoms a lot more quickly, and I feel like many others did, too. there's a book fandom where five years ago, the general sentiment about an antagonist was 'well fuck him' and now people write extensive posts on why he did what and what that means for the story and why it mirrors the protagonists arc etc, which maybe means that sometimes fandoms need time to get past the initial excitement of new things to give more attention/time to meta?

I very much agree that tumblr makes interactions/discussions harder. especially re: reblogs - its so easy for someone to disagree with you in a reblog and some of their followers to take that as a hint to hate on you - I've seen this happen mostly related to "shipping the wrong things", but why wouldn't it happen for drawing the "wrong" conclusions in a meta post? I feel like the general tumblr user is older than they were 10 years ago so maybe I should hope that they've grown up as well and are more reasonable about this to be fair

what I also noticed regarding the book fandom and TF is that TF fans - depending on your specific bubble probably - seem to be more aware that writing meta is a thing, because they're more likely to call it that.

re: elitism - it's important to me that the things I was referring to can feel elitist, not that they are, if the distiction makes sense? maybe it also wasn't the best/fairest choice of words, sorry. the sentiment isn't meant towards e.g. the people complaining about headcanons that have become accepted in the fandom but have zero relation to canon. its more frustration that theres seemingly infinite canon material and you can't really join any conversation without interacting with a good chunk of it, while (seemingly) everyone else has already done that already.

and finally, wonder if part of who writes meta and who doesn't is fandom "socialization"; there seem to be a few people for whom it appears easy to express their thoughts online, and then a much larger amount of lurkers who don't, and I've never really figured out the cause.

god tumblr does really let me put as much text as I want here, I'm a bit sorry for the long message. If you have any further thoughts I'd be happy to hear them but no pressure

First of all: no apologies for the long message! I love it, I will put my thoughts under a cut for everyone's dashes but we LOVE an in depth fandom meta-meta discussion in this household. I started this blog to RAMBLE and rambling is WELCOME my friend.

You make an EXCELLENT point about how longevity can influence fandoms here, anon. Especially for fandoms where there isn't a constant drip-feed of NEW canon, I absolutely think fandoms living on and people going back and re-engaging the source material to look for new ways to engage it can gradually make meta a larger part of the fannish space sometimes. (To give my own book fandom example, I was on the periphery of book!Good Omens fandom back in the day, and the amount of time people had spent with just that one single book meant that more and more discussion of the ways you could read and work with that one book meant there was some very in-depth meta going on there.) (…as you can imagine, the last few years have been a hell of a wild time for me with the show fandom becoming the Hot New Major Fandom, LMAOOOO.)

There's definitely also something there about the old "if someone I follow clowns on a person, my (para)social relationship with them means I feel like I'm doing a social faux-pas by not choosing a side" you mention here too. Tumblr really makes visible the idea of social networks in a way I have to admit I overall find uhhh. Kind of not great. "If I follow someone who follows someone my mutual hates, do I need to perform my support of someone here", that kind of thing. (Answer: no, that is some Panopticon shit, bring in the Foucault. I am only half joking.) Even over an objectively inane Transformers headcanon take, it's the social mechanism more than the content that brings in the pressure I think. Again. Web 2.0 wants everything pushed at everyone all the time to encourage More Interaction, and reducing any sense of wider social circles being removed from you personally is a part of that I think. It's all equal on The Endless Timeline, innit.

I see what you mean about the "feels like" distinction on elitism, anon, now you lay that out- that makes sense. I do think TF fandom is sometimes a bit of a minefield in terms of like, even within certain subdivisions of canon there's so MUCH stuff (and the fandom has, IMO, a bad habit of not bothering to decide what is more or less "useful" in conversations; sometimes tertiary material is… you know. Tertiary. LOOKING AT ALIGNED FANDOM). I think those of us who are sometimes a bit more "canon completionist" do need to approach these things in terms of like- take IDW1 fandom. If someone posts meta about MTMTE based on just material from MTMTE, approaching that in good faith and not going "well it's in continuity with phase one, and THIS phase one comic says [xyz]", but instead seeing it as a perspective that takes that one text as a complete thing in itself? (And maybe considering how that perspective and how it differs from one which looks at the whoooole canon is interesting, rather than deficient, in its differences of opinion.) There are folks who get very snotty about people doing that in a way that is, at the very least, unproductive. (And the folks bringing in their Extensive Lore Knowledge TM by whining stuff from other continuities contradicts a take on a different continuity are just uhhh. Annoying. Those people can just Stop, Please, lmao.) I think understanding that different approaches to what "canon" even is can be interesting rather than something to be "corrected" might go some way to making it feel less… intimidating? Alienating? For folks working with what they like.

As for the confidence in sharing opinions thing… I can only speak for myself but uh. If I have a personal flaw it is unwarranted overconfidence, not insecurity, haha. Let me put it that way. I do think that cultivating a confidence in the idea "I have my own personal tastes, and those tastes are idiosyncratic and do not need to be compared to other peoples' taste, and they are Valid TM" is a skill to be honed and one I think is worth honing, and I think may be a big thing here from my anecdotal observations. I find that many people in fandom don't have a lot of confidence in the idea that you can express not just an argument for "objective" (lol) "quality" but a sense of personal taste? (This is not unique to fandom, at all, but I think fandom has a lot of it, if that makes sense.) Especially because often the things fandom centres around lack cultural prestige. It's why an appeal to being Real Literature TM is the go-to argument for why fanfiction is "acceptable". I think a similar thing can be true of opinions; to let go of the urge to have everyone agree with you 100% of the time and to be "proven" right, you have to feel confident enough to sit in subjectivity and be like. My opinions may be subjective, but that's fine. And you do have to cultivate that! But I think that's where the "I can express an opinion and not feel destroyed if someone flat out rejects it and I can't even disprove their argument" trick kinda lies, maybe. And maybe meta is easier if you've already internalized that, so the possibility people will be like "nope" is less scary?

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clever-fox-studios · 4 months

Text

Saw @garbagechocolate post one and realized I had enough art to actually do one of my own! (also artist ramble/struggle journey/discussion/new years thingy below the cut if you care to read that sort of stuff)

It was a good year, and not just that but a productive one for me for art. For the longest time, I rarely finished pieces because I simply lacked the enjoyment or satisfaction of getting it done.

I spent a lot of time between 2018 and 2022 stuck in the "no one likes my art, why bother" spiral and when I saw others drawing always, all the time, and loving it I realized I lacked a certain passion for my own work. I was very jealous of so many artists, not because of skill, as I knew I had the technical ability to draw very well...

But because I didn't know how to draw for myself, and stayed in what I knew. I stagnated myself due to depression I didn't recognize was actually depression. I wondered and marveled at how anyone could draw their own content so obsessively--that others cared and loved to see their stuff--because I lacked that feeling myself; I actively hated my own content--my own OCs--at times. I couldn't draw to be "trendy", but also couldn't draw what I wanted; my soul was dark, and struggling financially wasn't helping. I told myself I lacked time, lacked money, lacked this and that to make excuses rather than just be gentle with myself.

Once in a while I got a flurry of energy, but it always snuffed out just as quickly as it came, and so the next dry spell came.

Then, I got a job. A good job. A well-paying, consistent job that I felt safe in, got back on my feet, and lost two of my excuses. Suddenly, I had a schedule, and I had my bills paid; I had a job that I couldn't easily lose to the next monkey in line if I underperformed.

I felt just a little bit safer.

Yet I still didn't have that passion. Instead of stress on it, though, since I wasn't dragging at the unfeeling internet to buy my art to pay my bills anymore, I felt less pressure to try and grind (I was bad at it anyway) and so I was finally, finally able to relax. Recover.

Heal.

And then, Security Breach came out.

I've always been a FNAF fan--OG first game train, let's gooooooo--yet I didn't do anything in the fandom; but Security Breach was... different. Generally I avoid actively engaging with fandoms because I simply don't have the time or patience, but now, I did.

I wanted to enjoy it--enjoy the weird spin off content it created, at least a bit. I started an AU of my own. However, I still wasn't quite... 'there'. The true passion was only flickering embers in a dirty, worn out hearth.

So, early 2023, I indulged myself. I told myself "cringe is dead and I deserve to be happy". I collected Tiktoks, made OCs again, and just let myself have fun. I cleaned out the fireplace like Sophie in the Moving Castle.

I joined a fan server of a SB spin off series I enjoyed at the time. Some of you might know which one by the art, recognizing the pieces or my name.

I immersed myself in a fandom for a short time. I let myself be weird, happy, indulgent...

And suddenly, I was free.

I spoke to fellow artists inside and outside the server, helped younger artists with their fundamentals, drew fanart not for money but for love of the content, made fanfics and stories, revisited my AU I'd been chipping away at off and on... I remembered how I loved drawing to draw, to spread joy and support, not for money. I remembered how to create, not just make. Gained confidence in my choices and ability to write and layer characters.

Learned to love them with their flaws instead of hate them for just existing because they weren't "good enough".

I started to enjoy my own things again, and how to embrace being self-indulgent. To draw what I wanted because I want it, not because it was needed or expected. To take risks, be experimental again--to lean into my strengths of what my art is rather than force it to what I think it should be.

I also came to terms with the fact that, despite what my mind was trying to tell me, I was not a bad person at heart. I was cringy and cared a lot, sure, but drawing for myself wasn't selfish, wanting to be self-indulgent wasn't toxic--that I, fundamentally, was an imperfect person but that didn't mean I was bad or evil. Wanting validation for my effort wasn't wrong, but how I went about it before was detrimental to me.

"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but it's source."

I took uncle Iroh's words to heart for the first time and worked to curbed my own ego, which had been the source of my artistic ennui (thanks Inside Out 2, for giving me that word) the entire time. By stepping toward the the edge where my pride had been holding me back, I realized I was not on the top of some great cliff where everyone could look up at me, but rather on a plateau no more impressive than a welcome mat on a porch. I had to accept I had quit climbing and settled in order to find the reason to climb again; once I stopped feeling like it was a race or competition to vie for attention from others, I could pace myself, avoid the exhaustion that had landed me on that plateau to begin with, and accept that I will reach the top when I'm ready, not when I think I should.

Now, at the end of 2023, I am basking in the satisfaction of having enjoyed myself, my art, in a way that healed me. Stopped me from despising my "talent".

I got to enjoy a few hours of going micro-viral on tiktok for Christmas, because I made something I actually wanted to make--something I cared about enough to share. It was unexpected, unplanned, but getting to see those numbers shoot up for something so small was like a stamp from the universe that proved what my best friend has been telling me all these years that my ego refused to latch onto.

"People can tell when you care about what you make, and when it's soulless trend fuel."

So, in conclusion, thank you.

Thank you, @quilandscroll for putting up with me and my dumbass artist ego all these years.

Thank you, Security Breach, for being the spark that reignited my rebirth as an artist, and to all the funny little blorbos I've met and talked to because of that fandom.

And thank you Sun and Moon, the silly, lanky bois that took that spark and turned it into a beacon with which I could navigate my own darkness with; for creating a safe space where I could be 13 again and just embrace my weirdness without fear of punishment.

2024 will hopefully be a big year as well. My goals are to learn to animate on Clip Studio and be comfortable with the system, to get the assets and refs prepped, and to release the first part of Legacy.

I want to share this project.

I want to bring inspiration and joy to the fandom that saved me from myself.

Oh, and if any of this sounded familiar or relatable to you...

I see you, and I love you.

See you all in 2024.

#security breach #year in review #artist journey #self discussion #got deep in my feels today #new years #holidays #struggle bus #looking back #hindsight is 20/20 #relatable #artists on tumblr #cringe is dead

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allisonlol · 2 years

Note

hey aliceee babyyy!

first things first, let me congrats you on achieving your 2k followers! as a fan and a friend, I'm genuinely proud of your accomplishment! my girl, all of your posts are top-tier content and you deserve each one of your followers!! 💞🖤

now, let me introduce myself for your match-up:

starting with my appearance, I have mid-long wavy hair that is naturally red, greenish-brown eyes, freckles, birthmarks, and (unfortunately) some s/h scars throughout my body. my height is something around 5'1 and 5'2 (1m58/1m60) and my body is an average hourglass. my style is dark academia, and I appreciate adding a lot of its aspects to my daily life.

my mbti type is intj, my enneagram is 5w4 (like yours) and I'm that typical introverted girl who loves staying inside surrounded by her books and blankets. I'm a calm and patient person (not that much) and my friends usually describe me as someone intelligent and considerate. and well, regardless of being soft and affectionate, I hate clinginess. like, I definitely can deal with clingy friends or s/o's, but I tend to go to the ones who understand my desire for personal space and whose love language isn't physical touch, but quality time.

however, I don't have that many friends, and, since I'm a quiet and cold person (mainly with strangers), people end up thinking of me as someone arrogant and go away. I'm also annoyingly ironic, especially during arguments. (and I'm kinda manipulative too, but we don't take about it 🤫).

talking about my hobbies, they are playing the piano/accordion, drawing, painting, reading and playing games like cards and chess. I love sunny days, classical music, tea, vintage stuff, and studying things like history, philosophy, and society itself. but I also hate crowded places, loud noises, and cold weather.

that's all, I guess.

desired fandom: BSD

NSFW? of course-

꧁♥ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴇss… ♥꧂

i match you with . . . fyodor dostoevsky!

ok ok, i'm not just doing that bc u are a super mega simp for him!! it genuinely MAKES SENSE. i also had poe in mind, but the whole thing about hating clinginess and being a tad bit manipulative (me too girl) made me change it. anyway, shall we begin?

Relationship:

first of all, can i just say what an aesthetic couple you two are??

while fyodor tends to move around a lot for work purposes, you both illegally own an old-victorian style house on the outskirts of yokohama where you frequently stay

since both of you prefer to stay home rather than go out often, it's there that most of your time is spent together

^doing things like playing the piano / cello together, chess & card games (where you test your near equal intelligence against the other), and listening to classical music

outings are not nonexistent, tho! on sunny days, you'll convince fyodor to join you on walks through yokohama where you'll visit antique shops or bookstores

often scholarly conversations about history, sociology, and the psychology of humans <3

you and fyodor share an office, where you often work in a comfortable silence. the two of you share the kind of relationship where simply being in the other's presence is calming, and not many words are needed

fyodor tends to neglect his personal needs in favor of working, so you make sure to bring him tea and small trays of food every now and then

arguments are VERY rare, since you both are very logical and straightforward with your words (to each other, at least). it's unlikely you would ever misunderstand due to your similarities and deep understanding

although not being the most inclined to physical affections, fyodor frequently likes to give you head pats, kisses on the cheek, and snuggle together in bed while reading (especially on cold days)

and yes, you were able to convince him to read to you a few times. his voice and accent are so lovely and v calming to fall asleep to <3

NSFW

sex is not the most often occurrence due to your busy schedules, but when it does happen, DAMN does it leave you satisfied until the next time

with you, fyodor is a very intense person in bed

he adores your figure and every part of your body. insists that you look more ethereal than the most infamous portraits of goddesses in the past <3

the significant height and size difference between the two of you is definitely something that comes into play. sensing a sliiiight size kink in the way he likes to hold you down and make you feel powerless

degrading, but praises you at the same time. things like "you're such a pretty whore for me" and "what an obedient slut you are"

sex tires him out easily due to his "weaker constitution" so one good round is probably all you'll get at one time

favors positions like mating press so he can both hold you down and get to watch all the pretty expressions on ur face. makes fun of you for it too >:((

ALWAYS doms, but it you want him in the palm of your hand just give him head and tease him <33 will darkly glare down at you whilst also shaking and struggling to maintain his composure

oh also. breathy whimpers when he's close...that's all i have to say <3

#2k matchup event #maby !#fyodor x reader #fyodor smut #fyodor x you

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southern--downpour · 10 months

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i'd be really curious about your thoughts on 14 if you wanna

14. How has your art changed over the years?

oooooooh boy time to pull out some ancient art (this might be long. i am long winded sometimes and have been drawing since i was like 7)

tl;dr ive gotten a LOT farther in the past two years than i ever thought i couldve and im very happy about it also i post a bunch of old art under the cut

up until literally last year i was 100% self taught (not counting high school art classes bc those did nothing) so i feel like the quality of my art has SKYROCKETED in since like 2021 lmao

this is all from like.... middle school i think? used to draw on either a sketchbook w/ colored pencils + fineliners or on a janky nextbook that hated my guts

eventually got an intuos and an ACTUAL laptop that ALSO hated my guts in high school and then covid hit and i did not stop drawing the entire fucking time lmao so i feel like there was a big jump here

(if you recognize that first one i am so sorry i wll not be finishing that project) this is ALSO right when i got obsessed with DSMP and OH FUCKING GOD did that effect my art! i started drawing backgrounds and comics all the fucking time and while i will gladly tell you it was the worst fandom ive been in for my mental health i also was able to churn out stuff like every damn day so pros and cons yk (also got another tablet upgrade huion kamvas 13 my beloved)

eventually said fuck that around the time i graduated and started college and finally got in person classes! but i was in the art department building more often than my own dorm!! i had multiple days where i spent almost 12 hours straight in there!! i went a bit crazy!!! but it was worth it bc look at this

(that first one is i think 11 x 17 and done in colored pencils. it won first place in my college art gallery's drawing category but it cost me my sanity and three weeks of my time) but anyways the solid year i spent grinding out drawing assignments definitely payed off bc im more happy w/ my art than i have been in years

def couldve gotten here on my own i think but in person art classes were so good they might cost my sanity but being in a room 24/7 w/ a great teacher and really really skilled classmates definitely has been the height of my college experience so far (my teacher from last year fucking left though and im genuinely still sad about)

#virgil arts #shut up virgil #<- evidently i will not. this took too long to write for a silly ask game lmao

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raisinchallah · 10 months

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b'elanna torres!!

First impression:

i really liked her! i watched like the first season of voyager after finishing up ds9 i thiiink i watched it with my dad and we stopped cuz we were somewhat bored and burned out on so much star trek (we had watched thru all of tng and ds9 in quick succession) and she was one of the only characters that made an impression on me and then i met a friend who loooooved voyager and i was like talking about it like yeah it didnt really click with me give me some episode recommendations and also maybe emphasis on b'elanna episodes so i watched some of his favorite episodes and then specifically the b'elanna episodes and loooved extreme risk it like did something to my brain and made me cry and i got really attached and decided to seek out all the b'elanna episodes i even braved the terrible evil forums that spent all their time talking about how much they hated janeway and b'elanna to get lists of episodes they said had too much b'elanna in them and to avoid and added them to my to watch list and then had a good time watching the b'elanna episodes i then went back and actually watched most of voyager...

Impression now

i still love her perhaps not as much of a like brain dominating i will draw a million pictures and think about her 24/7 type way that i did when i was 18 but she means the world to meeee made in a lab for the sad girls who dropped out of school for realsies <3

Favorite moment

oh god this is so hard i actually havent rewatched a lot of my favorite episodes in a long time too personally significant but i do adore dreadnought where shes like arguing with herself and trying to outsmart herself very fun but also like so many important moments in like barge of the dead

Idea for a story

hmm well ive tossed around this idea in my head about like seven and b'elanna get stuck on a planet filled with ancient machines that like gives seven a kind of ghostly computer virus in her brain from the ancient machines and they have to work together to like fix it or trapped in weird cave system together and b'elannas maquis training comes into play and idk scenarios that lead to them opening up and sharing parts of their past they dont explain to other people but with a weird sci fi horror bent to them and confused sense of self vibes :3c

Unpopular opinion

i actually have no idea what an unpopular opinion about her i have is cuz i only talk about voyager with a tiny group of b'elanna enthusiasts and like it seems like in the larger fandom unpopular opinion is like i think b'elanna is a good character and then within voyager fandom unpopular opinion is like i think tom and b'elanna should get a divorce and then im like wow i love the agreement the meeting of minds amongst the b'elanna enthusiasts of tumblr maybe just i am less enthusiastic about tom harry b'elanna seven polycule and more enthusiastic about tom and b'elanna divorce court but idk fjkl;a;jkflds i support polycule believers love is love but also just i do enjoy making jokes about the divorce court

Favorite relationship

i really like the bits we see of her friendship with chakotay like i would like to know more about their history in the maquis and trust and loyalty they have theres a lot of interesting things to dig into along with them being the only maquis members of the senior staff and so on a lot of cool things one could theoretically get into but also shout out to seven and b'elanna weird lonely women who also kind of hate each other yet are very similar theres like so much you could get into there i like to think about it even if its just from the few snippets here and there we have..

Favorite headcanon

i think that she fixes weird machines in the holodeck out of the way tom thats her massive never ending tool box with various tools from different planets and eras so she can fix up an ancient vulcan hovercraft or whatever

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courfee · 3 months

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people’s takes on fic stuff fucking baffles me. i see people going on and on about word counts and complaining when updates “take too long” or refusing to read wips entirely bc they’re too impatient and i just… i cannot understand this shit.

i know that the majority of these people have had to write something for a class in school at some point. it took you weeks to write a five paragraph essay for a grade. most of the time, that’s less than 1k words.

there’s nanowrimo, where the usual goal is to write 50k words in one month. which is understood by participants as an incredibly challenging goal. it’s hard. most people who start don’t complete it in time. it takes a lot of dedicated time. it’s exhausting. and there are so many fics out there that are significantly longer than this - and you can read them for fucking free!!!

it breaks my brain how people don’t seem to understand how much effort and time it actually takes to write something.

it’s even wilder to me that people will just skip over fics entirely based off of how many hits or kudos they have. why even bother searching by ship or tags or what have you if you’re just going to discount 90%+ of your search based off of how many people read it before you. the more common place that becomes, the less amazing fics will end up getting read in the first place. it takes hits to make hits.

all of this is just so wild to me i cannot wrap my brain around it. and i hate going into fic writing for this fandom knowing damn well that i’m in a fandom where people who might genuinely enjoy something i spent hours of my time on will never even consider glancing at it because i’m not “popular” enough. i don’t publish fics for clout and approval, but there’s a reason why i share them in the first place. i’ve written plenty of fics just for myself, or for a few friends to read. but if i take the time to publish and post something, it’s because i want to share it! i put it out there hoping that other people might enjoy it like i do. because sharing that feels good. and it sucks to think that there are people who might have shared in that enjoyment with me, who will never see it because we’ve started putting this weird standard on shit.

i don’t know about other writers, but that’s exactly what i’m talking about when i say that fandom dynamics as of late are sucking the joy out of creating. i write because it brings me joy. i publish/post/share because seeing something i wrote bring someone else joy, brings me even more joy. and watching this whole shitstorm of people being shit to fic writers or completely discounting most fics for one reason or other, just cuts that down so much for me.

idk i have a lot of thoughts and feeling about this but at the end of the day it frustrating and, at times, a bit heartbreaking.

honestly you said it all. all of this.

one thing i wanna add is in regards to nanowrimo: 50k words in a month (1667 words a day btw) is incredibly hard and a lot of people don't manage it, but a common factor i've witnessed between those that have done it is that they went into it having fully planned out their stories. because writing isn't only putting down words on paper, you have to figure out what to write, if you want a great plot you usually have to plan for that, and even once you've written it all you still have to go over everything and edit it. there is even more time and effort that goes into writing that people don't see and just take for granted. it's absolutely a labor of love, and the labor part is strongly emphasised here, and still we offer it for free only for people to be bitchy about it

i just hope you keep the joy of it all, because the entire point of fandom should be that it's done for fun and with the purpose of bringing you fun...

sending you all the love there, at least we are enough people in this fandom who write and draw and cosplay and make edits and all the other things there are for creation that we can support each other through it all

#asks #gotta be honest i didnt even know you could send asks this long i thought there was a character limit of like tweet length...#giving you a hug rn #keep on writing #itll get better again eventually #it has to cause the only other alternative is that the fandom disappears completely

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