#i have been. mentally scarred.

[the--highlanders]

trying to research for jamie meta is actually super dangerous because you'll see someone saying that the jacobite period was between 1603 and 1625. and you'll just have to live with that.

#personal #i have been. mentally scarred. #i think they meant the jacobean period bc in the next sentence they go on to (fairly) correctly define jacobitism #& say 'don't get these things mixed up' #but like #god was it an immediate hit to the stomach. i had to read that with my own two eyeballs. #tbf some of that is my fault for a) thinking a google search about highland dress would give me anything valuable #(not that i was super hopeful i just wanted to see what was there) #and b) clicking on a link that i knew was going to be unhelpful #i just wanted to see what was in there you know. #anyway. the stuff i do for my favourite boy.

[lunarharp]

when an obsessed orufrey person plays ace attorney for the first time in a while

#witch hat tag #orufrey #you know those times when the defendant is still in shambles at the end of a case because it was not a clear-cut thing #but you get to present one Special Sentimental piece of evidence that proves not all is lost #qifrey's breakdown would be like... he turns up calm and pleasant like dahlia kristoph gant etc but very quickly: #well first he's hiding his scar so you have to use the bracelet and also you find out about the seal on his hat using that. #eventually he is throwing water that comes out of nowhere like that coffee prosecutor guy. and his cape starts billowing #the more he breaks down his neck thingies start coming undone btw. To represent his descent into guilt and his LIES becoming undone. #course as the player i have already used my magatama and seen his 35894 psychelocks. but theyre those BLACK psychelocks #representing his repressed memories taken by the brimhats. also his glasses shatter out of nowhere when you keep presenting evidence #and tartah's testimony etc. and the player is like UHH this guy is A PUPPET MASTER but coco's heartfelt testimony commands the tone #and of course he's someone who has been twisted and damaged by trauma like adrian andrews. the mastermind is of course the brimhats #only me with my magatama knows that... only i can do it. It has to be me..... #just like how as the reader i can see everything about qifrey and i can hold him dear as much as i judge him #whereas if i were oru things would not be ok unless memories can be restored and mentally ill decisions can be illuminated #WELL ANYWAY !!!!! what i appreciate about ace attorney is its ability to mix silliness with seriousness #i cant usually make jokes about serious heavy heartbreaking stuff in witch hat because it is all very intense emotions for me #but i appreciate ace attorney's mix of sincerity and psychological pain and the inherent silliness to being a character in a situation #so.....Get Iguin on the stand. Now. BAILIFF.. TAKE OFF THE MASK #i would most love to be able to prove qifrey's eyesight is failing. hed be like I have no reason to pursue the brimhats (smiles pleasantly) #and it would be like You're lowering your gaze.. proof that the court lighting is too harsh for you..! #his glasses would crack at that moment btw. I used apollo's bracelet and saw the glyphs on the glass. #I know all about u. and i will save u

[twistedappletree]

jiang cheng: fuck you and the sword you rode in on

wei wuxian: *staring at bichen* yeah, about that…

#mdzs #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #mdzs crack #mdzs meme #mdzs shitposting #incorrect mdzs #apple memes #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #wei wuxian #wei ying #bichen #wangxian #implied at least lmao #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #happy mentally scar jiang cheng for life day (aka every day) #(aka everyday means everyday) #for being ace i sure have a goddamn armada of sex jokes lmFAO #he’s been there and done that JC #more than once probably

[ringaroundtheroses]

decided to draw the winner's circle w no refs and only using a shape n the vague recollection of their skins

#life series #grian #scott smajor #pearlescentmoon #inthelittlewood #goodtimeswithscar #zombiecleo #im mentally unwell why did i rmeber grians hair style so well #fun fact this is my first time drawign scott pearl and cleo #martyn and scar have only been doodles and i basicly completely remade them #in order they r wither grian vampire scott wolf pearl siren martyn cat scar zombie cleo #finished em up while listening to the charity stream

[rayofmisfortune]

Hey- *leans over* a little of a guilty pleasure of mine, I love seeing my favorite characters suffer. Just absolutely be tormented both mentally and physically. Bonus points if they start to hate themselves and believe the lies fed to them day in and day out by their tormentor and feel like they are deserving of the pain.

#is this a throwback to prison dream dsmp fics? #yes- #OKAY SUE ME THIS WAS THE FIRST THING THAT POPPED INTO MY HEAD WHEN ECLIPSE SAID HE'D TORTURE THEM #i'm so torn between wanting them to just be okay and being okay with them getting a taaad bit hurt- just- #RAH ALL THE MENTAL SCARS THAT WILL LEAVE ON THEM #i'm biased #ray's ramblings #ruin eclipse literally did nothing wrong and here I am comparing them to a tyrant (that I may or may not have hc's as being possessed by a #demon) #... I'm starting to see a pattern here #OH AND DAN HENG FROM STAR RAIL- #yep #yep there definitely is something with me and liking characters that have been locked up in a prison at 1 point... #for something they as their current self had no hand in #huh #cool

[stillthesunkenstars]

the latest chapter of and they became monsters the fall of great men had me going ough

#self harm tw #braxiatel #irving braxiatel #bernice summerfield #my art #atbmtfogm #LIKE IVE BEEN DRAWING HIM W SCARS SINCE LIKE . YEARS #like it’s so validating to see #it being written out #like thank u.. #like it’s just good to see him acknowledge his shit by having physical reflections on his body #and it Does calm one down quickly!! it’s fine #like it’s okay #if you don’t have anyone to reach out to it’s okay to help yourself up #u don’t have to bottle it up #it’s like a ladder both physically and mentally #ppl doesn’t ever want to acknowledge that brax is indeed like mentally ill af but it’s so good to see #like it being acknowledged #not gonna lie. from the start of this fic I saw the sh tag and blacked out I’ve been waiting for this for like 50 chapters. #sh tw

[martyrbat]

its so funny recognizing yourself in your parents and by funny i mean im going to be sick

#i hate my mother. i love my mother. i will always be her child. i will always be a stranger. i hate my mother. i love my mother. #like same woman who points a gun at me on the regular and mocked and laminated my suicide note when i was a kid to pass out at a family bbq #and the same reason i have such bad body image issues and chemical scars and burns. #but also. thats my mother. its the same woman who married a stranger because her two kids were homeless under a bridge after #my bio dad stole her car. its the same woman who held my hair back when i was sick as a child. who made cookies when i was depressed. #its the same woman who i had to talk down because she wanted to kill herself before she hit me and called me weak. #i miss my mother. i dont know if i ever had a mother. i love her. i need to move and never be around her. #its so difficult when you KNOW she has mental illness that runs in the family too. i know what impacts her behavior and how alike we are. #i know its not an excuse for the consistent abuse she still puts me through. i know this. i know i shouldn't feel guilty for my feelings. #i dont know what my feelings are. #i hate my mother to the point ive tried to kill myself to not be around her. i love her more than anyone else. #when your mother is a prophecy of all you might be as youre a reflection of all she could have been *family guy death pose.jpeg* #anyways. sorry for the rant heehee i am normal and going to bed before i craw out my skin and into some yellow wallpaper ^_^

[stiffyck]

I have been thinking about this for so long I just need to share this:

Hear me out: Scarland. 

It’s the opening night for Scarland and everyone is excited! They’ve all seen how amazing the whole park looks from the outside, they’ve seen the attractions Scar has been working on and they can’t wait to try them all out. 

The hermits that could make it are here, waiting for Scar to open the park.

And he does. And the hermits are having so much fun. The attractions are colorfull and- oh. something is wrong.  

Oh no, the hermits thought those were actual theme park attractions? One by one, the hermits become more and more aware of what’s actually going on.

Scar smiles to himself as he hears the screams of his friends as his torture devices do their job. 

I love villains. And Scar would make an excellent villain.

#i have been thinking about this since scar started working on scarland #i AM MENTALLY ILL #villain scar #NEW TAG YOU GUYS #I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG OH MY GOD #I FINALLY DECIDED TO SHARE THIS BECAUSE ITS BEEN EATING ME ALIVE #tw torture #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #hermitcraft #new AU???

[wineonmytshirt]

hmmm unfollowing and blocking lots of people

#this is raw in the tags so if you're easily triggered by mental health stuff don't read it!!!!!!!!! #last night i reblogged one of those asylum posts before i was like wait that's fucked up and i deleted it and i feel really bad #like i've been to a mental health hospital a few times i know what it's like in there and how dehumanizing it can feel #i remember everything that happened. and the things i saw and the people i met there. the time i was threatened with sedation. #watching you take your meds and ensuring you swallow them because you can't be trusted #the hard beds and them opening your door every 15 minutes to make sure you aren't hurting yourself #taking my clothes off in front of people multiple times to prove i didn't have drugs and that my self harm scars had already been there #and i'm seeing lots more and other mental health/lobotomy/asylum 'memes' and jokes and it's.... it's really not okay guys #you have to think about how this might make someone else feel who has been through this shit #it's reality and it's not a meme #please be more careful #jen talking to herself #ttpd

[1800duckhotline]

Updated this in celebration of vivisection jutta real...

#girl afflicted by a billion diseases #both physical and mental #i have to draw her and orin!! #doodles #i will likely edit the post on my artblog with this pic in it just for the sake of Completion but it doesnt bother me that its been shared #w/out the corrected lore-adjacent scar situation #i drew it way before i got to that Lore Point

[dafry]

So after drawing yesterday i kept thinking-

What if he didn't react in time?

#professor layton #hershel layton #pl #what if he messes up while trying to sword fight #aka sword fighting gone wrong #i mean my man didn't have a handy dandy sword with him at all times and all the time he got into a fight he either borrowed or improvise #using broken pipes no less- #and while i love him being badass i also like to see him hurt- (physically at least because poor guy been scarred enough mentally) #injured/hurt layton my beloved💖 #just kept thinking back to the scene after layton reveal a third song in eternal diva and des was just so pissed he obviously tried to hurt- #-layton (probably in a fit of rage but still) like how fast and powerful those hits were since layton got pushed back violently enough to- #-get slammed against the machine not once but twice #and he's just fine apparently

[mossfeathers]

sickening addiction to watching old stardew videos and also playing stardew. i have 40 cents in my bank account since i bought stardew and ive watched every single stardew video i can find from the life series members up on youtube. fully recommend it all the videos are around 7 years old and itll be the best thing you ever did. literally inlove with grian and scars stardew videos. might start posting about them as if theyre brand new videos. you cant stop me

#moss chitchat #guys im not even lying about my wallet i bought the merch and the game and im broke #the guys ive found videos for so far are jimmy (vods from 5 years ago multiplayer w grian) martyn (single vod) grian and scar #but im sure there are more i simply havent found yet #also i did identify grians sword in his video based off the damage and art if that gives any context to my current mental state #im also terribly sick and have been for the whole week #this could be why also #grian also talks about getting stardew boyfriends in jimmys first vod if thats any prompt towards anyone #i need someone else to be in this niche rabbithole oh my god please #illbe your best friend

[astral-catastrophe]

Anyway it’s so funny to me because if asked, I’d say I’ve got nothing to worry about , but when I think of my current situation happening to anyone else, it makes me sad

#No! I have the divorce and the father bitching #My aunts house is disgusting and my allergies are bad here #Amma’s still in the icu #I’ve been overstimulated since we got here Monday night #My period cramps are awful #And now my brother’s got a minor ear infection #My sister’s being a bitch #I haven’t seen my friends in weeks #I can hear the adults discussing my uncle’s mother. Who died to blood clots causing a stroke #And understandably this is distressing because of Amma’s clot #Then the fact that I’ve wanted to die for weeks. And the sh scars from (last year? Some this year?) on my legs are barely beginning to fade #But I’ve clawed at my shoulders recently and feel shit about it #The mental state isn’t good #The physical state isn’t good #The world isn’t good #And just when I thought I would get a break and be able to see a friend I haven’t seen in years #I probably wont get to #I’ve got nothing more to live for other than pure spite #Tw sh #jays being dumb again #I’ll delete this later. Gotta let these thoughts simmer

[outeremissary]

Low-key driving me insane finishing art and then not being able to post it until next week, I never do that. This preparing properly-ish shit sucks. Curbing my urges by posting a work doodle. I wanted to learn to draw swallow wings.

#I need to make a scar ref for them but wahhhh. I'm so lazy. love.this kiss week prep for giving me an excuse not to do it #emi art #doodles #kasander #.... this needs the cw huh. despite being cartoony. #nudity #if I hit a certain threshold of my shit being together before the week starts I want to take requests if anyone has them #always craving the novelty of new project... but must finish current project.... #I have not been online for mental health reasons the past two(?) days and will probably be off for focus reasons til that prep's hit

[blue-kyber]

OMG. This describes what I've felt my entire life - and still feel.

There is no cure. It will never go away unless the brain is physically remolded.

Overdramatic, taking things too personally, it's the end of the world, crybaby, why do you have to be so sensitive? Stop being so sensitive.

It causes extreme emotional and physical pain that's impossible to "snap out" of. Recovering from an attack can take days. Criticism, failure, rejection, abuse, upsetting people, and bullying are triggers.

THIS. IS. WHAT. I. FIGHT. AGAINST. EVERY. DAMNED. DAY. SINCE. BIRTH. ------------------------------

What does RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) feel like?

The initial feeling of RSD is as if you've been punched in the head and are struggling to regain consciousness. You then deny that it is affecting you, but your brain goes blank, your body paralyzes and, as if by the force of a volcanic eruption, you plunge into an abyss of infernal pain and fear.

That is only the beginning. Nothing derails the power of RSD ---------------------------------------------

Why do I react so strongly to rejection?

If you're highly sensitive with a strong fear of rejection, your brain is wired to detect and “protect” you from rejection. The fear of rejection may lead to proactive anger, social withdrawal, or bending over backward for other people. -------------------------------

Is RSD a trauma response?

Though the experience of rejection sensitive dysphoria can be painful and even traumatic, RSD is not thought to be caused by trauma. -----------------------------------

Do ADHD meds help with RSD?

ADHD medications: Ritalin (Ritalin) and dextroamphetamine-amphetamine (Adderall) are particularly successful in controlling the basic symptoms of ADHD. They may also aid in the treatment of RSD. Antidepressants can assist with some ADHD symptoms, particularly rumination and feelings of despair. ------------------------------------

Is RSD just anxiety?

While someone with RSD may experience these same symptoms, one major difference between RSD and anxiety is timing. Someone with a generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) feels anxious often for six months. But when someone with ADHD and RSD feels anxious about rejection, it's situational. -------------------------------------

Why does ADHD cause RSD?

Dodson and other experts in the field say RSD is likely the result of changes in the way the brain processes emotion in people who have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or autism. In some of these people, certain unpleasant interactions cause excessively negative emotions. ---------------------------------

One 2019 study found that children with ADHD were more sensitive to peer rejection than children without ADHD.

#ADHD #Autism #RSD #It's insanely hard to recover from #because you feel like you've been physically attacked #The high level of emotions you have no control over can leave mental scars from whatever triggered the RSD #A lot of times I'll end up crying #It takes every ounce of effort I have to not cry when it happens #because of how horrible and painful it feels #I would combat it with anger #because you can't feel both rage and fear simultaneously. One has to take a back seat. #I'll take 'reasons I haven't published anything since 2010' for 1000 please.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

Its like. To luz, most of her friends/family have someone else in their lives that would lessen the impact if she were to, say, dramatically sacrifice herself for her friends. Perhaps in the events of the finale? This isnt true. She isnt replaceable. But luz is as close to suicidal as they can make her if they want to keep the shows rating and i can see her thinking that.

Her mom has vee now, another daughter in case her first daughter dies. Gus and willow, her best friends, are close with hunter. Maybe closer than they are with luz now, since shes been avoiding them. By the time they get back, eda will probably have gotten together with raine. King may have even befriended the collector. (though based on danas art hes probably just in a perpetual state of "mom pick me up im scared") and no matter what, eda and king will have each other like they did before luz. we dont know what luz was planning to do with her palisman when she decided to permanently stay in the human realm, but hunter is now conveniently without a palisman, so she could just let him use hers.

Hunter definitely has a family in camila but we dont really know if his relationship with vee is anything like his relationship with luz. If luz were to sacrifice herself, hed lose a sister. Or at least a trauma bestie. Or whatever found family niche he considers luz to be in. And amity? There is nothing luz could do to convince herself that amity would be fine being left behind. But luz already toyed with ending that relationship when she decided to stay in the human realm. It hurts, but i can see luz justifying to herself that whatever dramatic sacrifice shes planning is for the good of everyone and its worth breaking amitys heart.

And ofc by the power of good storytelling, good rep, and disneys s&p department theres no way luz and her friends aren't going to get a happy ending. She'll try to dramatically sacrifice herself as the climax of her character arc but her loved ones will save her. And then theyll finally get it through her head that she has value as a person, actually. And then lumity will kiss and the animation will get all smooth and the framerate will get high enough for them to do sick spells and defeat belos. And camila will adopt the collector and make him the powerful last of their kind noceda-clawthorne sibling #4. And the show will end with luz going to therapy or smth.

#the owl house #toh #shut up pandora #luz noceda #im so mentally ill about her #but yeah even fucking hooty has become bffsies with lilith #i know luzs suicide ideation so far has been because of her guilt #but part of suicide ideation is looking at your loved ones and wondering if theyd be okay if you died #in most ppls case no they would not be they would be fucking devastated but depression fucks with your perception of studd #and luz is the same #tbh this idea is probably too dark for a disney show and they dont have time to explore it probably #so theyll probably just go with 'luz feels soul crushing guilt' and leave it at that #but i love to explore it in fic #i do think luz will try to sacrifice herself like she does in every season finale #and like one member of the main trip actually does in every season finale #but the luz will die theorists are straight up wrong lmao it goes against the message of the show and the show ratings #she'll at most get a sick scar out of it #yall sound like me in middle school when i though disney would let alex hirsch kill off 12 year old mabel pines #suicide tw #to clarify nothing in the second paragraph is true luzs loved ones cant just replace her with another daughter/friend #and be done with it #but luz can think that