#i honestly think he likes butch women more than i do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jemandrr · 3 months

Text

accidentally browsing a (very niche) female-dominated gaming space and seeing people TEAR into people who want an option to change the player character's pronouns to he/him or they/them without changing anything else because it'd invite men to invade a safe space. For a game purely about dating men. Like, I've been through plenty of female-dominated spaces where queer people and similar-interest straight men are welcome (in this case it'd be bi men but yknow), so it's just this one community, but jeez. The amount of fear that anyone who isn't explicitly a femme female would come in and A. hit on the faceless women there or B. taint the game by making the devs add designs of men who they don't want to date?

I got such a strong terf-y rhetoric from that community, like we can't have anything in common with people who aren't like us going on. All about taking 'our' things. And a lot of people contradicting one other but not trying to find out what the truth is because they have the same conclusion. Like two people saying A>B or B>A and no argument arises and no one shows interest in which is true because both people conclude C.

A lot of people even saying that, likewise, things that appeal to female or queer audiences should NOT be added to mainstream media just like queer content should not be added to female-oriented media. These hard walls around what belongs to who is like...they were raised by toy companies or something.

Like what is (paraphrasing so it isnt searchble) "I would never come into a male dominated community because I feel like I would be invading their safe space, so I don't get why men would want to come here and talk about liking men." At least the people who are scared of sexual abuse are warranted, I've seen tons of abusive language towards people they think are women in male dominated online spaces, but what is this fear of even...sharing interests with men? I know we've been in a new era of gender role enforcement with the tradfem movement, but jeez. And as for these last two points, they both are ones that were contradicted. People also said they do believe in diversity BUT just *this* shouldn't count.

Some people even said it's not fair that they get pushed to be more inclusive when mainstream media never does. Which makes me wonder if they're so deep in their niche 'I only experience content made by and for exclusively straight women' content that they haven't noticed any of the movements in media going on over the last 1.5 decades. Like it's true that we haven't made that much progress, but how do they think that no media gets pressed to increase diversity? The more rigid/right-leaning male audiences of tons of media have been complaining about forced diversity for years in exactly the same way (and sometimes, when it really WAS forced diversity, everyone complains because it's not representing anyone really but yknow). But I guess they wouldn't know that if all of them avoid mainstream media?

Also...what is the fear that gay men like men in a 'wrong' way...(and again, the unargued contradiction being plenty of people saying that they also like media about gay characters, but just they shouldn't make these characters gay)

And like I do get it, in the sense that being marginalized makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand in its own separate way from how being in a privileged class makes you skeptical and fearful of things you don't understand. There's a lot more fear of exploring things different and new because the possible retribution feels/has been higher.

Honestly, this post isn't actually about a couple hundred to low-thousand women in a small community for niche games. Not like, I think it's important, I want to actively make them change. It's not that big a deal, not that surprising in the grand scheme. It's similar rhetoric to things i've seen before (Tradfem/terf). I've seen screenshots of, like, facebook mom groups before. And I've seen way bigger communities be way more open and welcoming, it's just a little outlier.

I'm just writing this because I'm a bit shellshocked because I forget how much that those kinds of people are not just the older, tech-illiterate generations, and not just shallow influencers who will say anything for the clicks (or because someone behind the scenes is funding it), their views behind the camera up in the air. Like I think I cultivate the people I interact with a bit too well. Too many of the people I actually interact with or witness the thoughts of regularly are queer and have flitting relationships with gender and then I remember the other side of the coin has people who think they're being progressive by suggesting that everyone who is different be segregated and therefore safe from each other with no room for intersectionality.

#for the record in other communities talking about the same game i saw several people sharing tips for making androgynous or slightly butch #characters which is the wholesomeness on the other side #ranting into the void #is this one of those situations of like #'the celebrity you call ugly will never see this but the person you know who shares those features will?'#but with 'The men who want to invade your safe spaces will never see this but the he/him butch and other queer people who are otherwise #generally your advocates in political and social spaces will'#also ngl being gay admittedly does make this so much easier #but i cannot imagine having the idea that #categorically #'you and your partner cannot have any interests in common' but so many do #And honestly I would have trouble believing that any women who says they're scared ofplaying or discussing a videogame #with a gnc or gay person- would say that irl they're not a terf and they would let gnc and trans people into the same public bathroom #like i can believe it because people hold lots of contradictory ideas but #if more than 20% of them said it i would think that was legitimately virtue signalling #because while i think trans panic is waaaaay less common than the media thinks #inside a community with those beliefs when they can talk anonymo usly #itd be a tough sell for me. I have to imagine most of those women are the kind who would find out their partner was bi #and start feeling uncomfortable about the state of their relationship- with the way they talk about how men can't enjoy female things like #dating men and such #ALSO there are more women than men #wtf do you mean mainstream media is only for straight men #straight adult men is #like 30-odd percent of the us tops #they got more purchasing power cus of sexism and homophobia and so on but #its so self defeating to think of mainstream media as exclusively the purview of straight men

3 notes · View notes

vaspider · 2 years

Text

Pete Buttigieg is not the fucking point.

Truly amazed at the people whose big takeaway from that thread is "you hate Pete Buttigieg" like buddy did you not... read... all of it?

I genuinely don't give a shit about Pete himself. If you think this is about Democratic self-devouring or whatever the fuck, please mentally substitute Ellen or George Takei or Rachel Maddow or your favorite Other Respectable Gay. I hear some dude named Rubin is even a conservative who is getting turned on for adopting a baby? I don't know who he is and I don't care (do not tell me, I do not care) but if it makes you feel better, substitute any of those names.

I think the ones that actually make me sad are the people who keep insisting that 70% of people support gay marriage, and that I'm just 'acting out my trauma', and we won't see things turn against us, we're perfectly safe now, how dare I say that cishets won't put themselves out for us when it counts, it's different now.

Honey, 99% of people want tomorrow to go on pretty much like today, and what they'll support when it doesn't cost them anything has nothing to do with what they'll support when it does. Those of us telling you 'we were abandoned before, and we were the ones who took care of us then' aren't telling you because we're incorrigibly bitter misanthropes. I am annoyingly hopeful, actually, and in love with humanity and the beauty of life. Seriously, I have to write poems about it because I love the universe and all of humanity so fucking much. One of the things I love about humanity is its fragility and its uncertainty. I love the ways in which we fail.

And humans, over and over again, turn our eyes away from tragedy.

If you are lucky enough to have cishet friends and family who will put themselves out for you when it really matters, that is fucking fantastic. That's not nearly universal, and I'm afraid that you're going to find out sooner rather than later that it's far less universal for you than you'd like to believe.

At the end of the day, you can believe me or not about all of this. You can say that I'm just a bitter old transfag, an angry old dyke, a traumatized old queer if it lets you sleep better at night, if it allows you to just close your eyes and say 'this is all going to be fine, because 70% of people support marriage equality!' and get some rest. I can't make you pay attention.

And the thing is? I'd love to be wrong. I would absolutely love for every cishet who has ever said "one of them" or said "well, I mean, I just don't want to see it, they can do whatever they want in private" or whatever to turn out to be the raddest fucking ally the world has ever seen. I know it can happen! My in-laws went from being Baptist homophobes to getting weekly chatty update phone calls from the two trans women refugees from Latin America who they housed and helped get their papers sorted and who are now living in New York and call them Mom and Dad. Like, truly, it can fucking happen!

But you can't count on that from the vast majority of people, because when it comes down to it, most people want tomorrow to go on pretty much like today. You're much more likely to be able to count on someone with a dog in the hunt.

More than that, though, the point of that essay -- which, when people miss it, they miss it so hard that it feels deliberate, honestly -- is that all of our bullshit infighting doesn't mean dick. I've been saying that for years, begging people to think inclusively about our community, begging people to stop all the bullshit infighting because I could see this shit fucking coming, you didn't need to be Cassandra to see it coming but sometimes I felt like I was screaming until my throat was horse, the fucking tsunami is coming, it's coming, motherfuckers, can't you see the way the water is pulling back?

And here we are, and all the arguing about whether bi lesbians are "valid" doesn't matter, and everyone's attempt to gatekeep butch and femme doesn't matter, and everyone's arguments about whether neopronouns are bad doesn't fucking matter because we are all just fags, dykes and trannies to them, they do not care for one fucking second about any of this. None of them care for one second about our infighting. No one is going to stop and ask you what your orientation is so they can call you the right slur when they're gaybashing you, kids. They. Don't. Care.

So now here we are, and people are acting like the point of the essay is that I wanted to call one particular dude a fag, rather than that it doesn't matter how perfectly primed you are to fit into Respectable WASP Society, it is your queerness which is objectionable. It is your gayness. It is your transness. It is your bisexuality, your asexuality, your lesbianism. You will never be granted rights and respectability. You have to defend your rights, and stop giving a shit about respectability as a metric of whether or not someone deserves them.

I mean, for fuck's sake, some Iowa voters tried to withdraw their caucus support once they realized that Pete was gay. It literally fucking happened. There's video. Someone they supported above all the other candidates in the Iowa primary was immediately disqualified for them to the point where they tried to retract their support the minute they found out he was gay.

That's the fucking point. I don't care who you use as your Proxy Respectable Gay.

Pete Buttigieg is not the fucking point.

3K notes · View notes

fandomsandfeminism · 2 years

Text

So, this is going to be a little meandering and all over the place. But I'm trying to express this...web of thoughts I've been having lately around this issue of queer, and labels, and the way we talk about our history and the way the community conceptualized itself in this very digital age. And it's still kind of half formed, so...let's see.

So. OK.

One thing I see a lot online, especially with people who are just now coming out, is a sort of...overfixation on increasingly niche labels. Im not saying that having a very specific or newer label is bad, to be clear. Labels are rhetorical tools, use what is useful. They help with visibility and discussing specific issues. No issues there.

But watching people quibble over bi vs pan vs omni vs abro or non-binary vs genderqueer vs demigender vs genderfluid vs agender vs xenogender vs bigender vs gnc. Asexual or gray ace or demisexual or queerplatonic. And whether they are a biromantic lesbian demigirl or bisexual greyaromantic genderuid. And it's always just a little exhausting, ya know? Again, if those labels are meaningful and useful, that's great, but I see people *agonizing* over which they "really" are. Like if they pick the wrong word to describe themselves, they are coming out the wrong way, like they are wrong about themselves if they can't find the exact correct word on an FAQ list of lgbt vocabulary.

And how I think that relates to the way people talk about our CURRENT labels as though these labels have always been there and like the people described by these labels now have no common experiences with other labels. Like lesbians and bisexual women have absolutely nothing in common. Like butches and trans men have no shared history. As though trans women and drag queens have always been completely separate and unconnected groups. As though ace folks and nonbinary folks are somehow new to the scene, and not community members who were always here and just didn't have a separate label until more recently.

I *remember* watching the community make the switch from transvestite and transsexual, to differentiating between transsexuals and transgender, to basically just using transgender/trans. Those labels are not stagnant. None of our labels are some ingrained biological unchanging objective truth. Labels are rhetorical shortcuts to summarize this facet of our identity and lives and experiences- but they are just words.

And maybe this connects to the way people get really...weird about historical figures too. Like whether Sappho was a lesbian or bisexual, as though either of those words would have had any meaning to her. About whether Shakespeare was gay or bi, like he would have conceptualized his own identity that way. About what modern label Dr. James Barry would have used for himself if anyone could travel back in time and ask him.

And then I think about why queer feels so much more affirming, so much more a place of strength, than LGBT+. Not that LGBT as a label is bad, and I honestly probably prefer it for allies and outsiders to use. But as a community label- Queer, to me, says that all our experiences are queer experiences. Queer can be many things, but they are all queer. Regardless of how many genders or which specific genders you like, whether you have a romantic and or sexual attraction to whatever collection of genders, whatever thing your gender is doing today- all of it, ALL of it, once you step outside that cis, straight mainstream sexuality and gender norm- is queer. Equally queer.

Lgbt+ feels like we are still keeping all those labels separate, little boxes all lined up next to each other- different but a coalition. And while that isn't bad, I also think it isn't totally true.

[A caveat here, that there are times when more specific labels are very helpful. We don't want any specific kind of queer experience to be overshadowed or erased, and having more specific labels facilitates those discussions. Again, I'm not saying that we should eliminate or erase our more specific labels.]

But I think imagining our community as a collection of wholly separate groups that are just allied together, instead of one group that we are all equally in, can make it far too easy for exclusionists to sneak up and say "well ___ isn't REALLY lgbt. THEY aren't REALLY one of us. ___ dont belong."

If we take all the labels off all the crayons- red and pink and purple and blue and teal and green are not hard and fast divisions. They are artificial distinctions we have made- all of them are light, all of them the rainbow.

Anyway. I just think that, while everyone should use whatever labels bring them joy and are useful for them, we might be better off if more folks were ok with ALSO accepting the vast ambiguity of being queer.

#queer thoughts #queer rambling #maybe Im off here or missing some nuance #but Im bi AND queer #Im bi and genderqueer AND queer #and I think theres strength and beauty in seeing our diverse experience and saying YEAH all of us are in this together

3K notes · View notes

spacelazarwolf · 11 months

Note

thoughts on passing privilege? ive seen it tossed around a lot

honestly, i think most discussions about passing privilege (in terms of queerness and transness, as i’m assuming that’s what you’re referencing) are fucking annoying and lack so much nuance. so many of them focus on hypotheticals rather than reality. a bi woman could date a man. but she also could date a woman or she could be very butch or very open about being bisexual. a trans man could pass as cis. but he could also not go on t or he could go on t and wear a dress or he could be very open about being trans. “could” means absolutely nothing when someone’s actual lived reality doesn’t reflect that “could.” some bi women and trans men do feel like they have passing privilege, and that’s fine. but their experiences aren’t representative of all bi women and trans men.

also i have a huge problem with the way people present street harassment as like The Truest Form Of Queerphobia bc y’all i promise you are more likely to experience life altering homophobia or transphobia from a doctor or employer or teacher or family member than you will from a stranger on the street, especially if you’re white. this framing also really fucking sucks for groups like bisexual women and trans men who both experience extremely high rates of abuse and sexual assault, but those statistics are constantly being dismissed bc “well ur not literally being murdered in the street so!!!!!!!!!” (as if the people they’re talking about who are actually being murdered in the street aren’t black and brown people, but i guess that ruins the White Woman Victim Fantasy that fuels the true crime industry…)

also as per usual it’s just a bunch of white queer people playing oppression olympics and expecting people to be able to chop their identities into pieces for tumblr analysis. you’ll just sit there and watch white woman after white woman tell a black man he’s privileged because a stranger on the street won’t call him a dyke for holding hands with his girlfriend, meanwhile he’s just trying not to make eye contact with cops because they might shoot him in front of his kids for looking at them wrong.

so yeah i think the vast majority of the time it’s just a bunch of white queer people arguing about who gets the Most Oppressed gold star while ignoring any and all nuance and intersectionality like the plague. we should be able to have conversations about how some people are in more danger in public because of features they can’t or choose not to change, but the internet is the internet.

#ask avishai #wanted to talk more abt how this plays into White Woman Victim Syndrome #but i have already flown too close to the sun with this

209 notes · View notes

butch-with-a-deep-voice · 4 months

Note

What made you feel like using the term “butch” to describe yourself despite some of your obvious feminine qualities? (This is an absolutely genuine question coming from somebody who is trying their best to figure out “which box” they fit into).

I guess I’m having a hard time figuring out if I’m “butch enough” which I know sounds ridiculous. I know that there’s such a spectrum and not everybody is strictly “butch” or “femme” but I guess I feel called to butchhood. But I invalidate my own feelings by finding all the ways in which I’m “too feminine” for it.

I’m genderqueer as well so it can be hard for me to find the right balance between my masculine and feminine features that make me feel euphoric.

Hey anon, so this is a very good question, and one I really want to take some time with. As such, I will provide two answers. A short copout answer if you don't have the energy to read a lot, and a long answer.

Short answer, and I really hate when I have to pull out this answer but well...

It's no different than gender euphoria in of itself. Each person is different, and it is based off of well, vibes. It's things like how I can be beside my he/they nonbinary friend, let's call him C, in the exact same outfit as him, and all our friends are like "yup, Nomi looks butch, and C looks boy-adjacent". It's vibes, and there's no real easy way to explain it further than that.

Now lovely anon/reader, if you want something a little more... nuanced (and just as inconclusive), strap in. Pun fully intended.

So I've been mulling over this for a few hours already before typing, and of course my overly analytic ass started scripting this whole thing around exploring the history of butch and femme identities, the gender politics of the matter, the racial contexts, etc. before realizing that doesn't answer your question; how did I specifically, a trans-feminine two-spirit person, reach butch being where I felt the most at home in myself despite apparent feminine aspects of myself? Understanding the history, cultural implications, and other nuanced portions of "butch" as an identity was a huge part of how I got there, and so I'll briefly go over that, but it's also important to keep my copout answer in mind as well. You know yourself best. It's well, vibes.

Let's start with the barebones identity of butch. I think a good place to start is understanding that while all butches are masculine, not all mascs are butch. Same with femme vs. feminine. It's something you claim, you embody. It's well, an identity. For many, myself included, it's an inseparable part of ones gender identity to boot. And like all identities, it is often intersectional with other facets of your life. Gender, sexuality, race/ethnicity, culture, etc. For me, Butch ties directly to my Two-Spirit identity. Part of being a Michif (Métis) Two-Spirit person is holding both the masculine and feminine at all times. While not necessarily a woman in the western sense, I feel woman-adjacent. My "feminine spirit" comes from feeling woman-adjacent, and honestly when around other Michif women, like a Michif woman (but that's a conversation for another day). My "masculine spirit" comes from being a butch Michif lesbian, amongst other things. If I had to describe how my gender "feels", Two-Spirit Butch feels honestly the most accurate, even if that doesn't fit into a Western queer lens that nicely. I may have, as you said anon, apparent feminine aspects to myself that counter my masculinity, but part of being Two-Spirit is holding those with love, honor, and compassion. Feminine spirit doesn't negate my queer masculinity, if anything it augments it. But, exploration of my Two-Spirit identity and how it relates to being butch likely won't be of much help to most of the non-indigenous readers.

Let's look at a more Western approach, because Butch is just that, a rather Western queer term. I do want to preface that as a trans-feminine person there are many within queer spaces that believe I do not have the right to claim butch for myself. To them I counter, bugger off terfs. I would also like to point out that while in a modern sense butch more or less refers to a masculine lesbian identity, that was not always the case. Butch for many many years was an identity to describe queer masculinity as a baseline, regardless of lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc. Especially in queer BIPOC communities. Butch becoming a lesbian-centric term is much newer within the queer lexicon (with some pointing to white queer culture stealing a term from BIPOC queer culture, but that is a topic I do not have the expertise to go into). While both butch itself, and queer masculinity as a whole have evolved since those times, I think keeping that historical context in mind is important.

To me, part of why I claimed "Butch" specifically is how it relates to non-conformity of expected womanhood. While I do not claim woman in the Western sense, during the early phases of transition, I began by identifying as a woman, and trying to abandon all of masculinity and what it came with. You can find a bit more of how that went in this post. I dove headfirst into femininity and hit my head on the floor of the pool so hard I ended up right back in dysphoria central, just a different kind. But, that exploration of womanhood and femininity were integral in why I claimed butch for myself. I don't think I ever would have claimed it had I not. One of the common factors with every AFAB butch I've met is a rejection of the expectations of womanhood that Western culture thrusts upon them. Personally, I don't think it would have been right for me to claim butch without having first explored Western femininity and it's expectations to the extent I had.

Eventually I finally admitted to myself that, while I knew for certain I wasn't a man, I didn't feel right as a feminine (Western) woman either. So, what was I? I felt more at home, more welcome, and more loved amongst queer women, lesbians especially, than I ever had with queer men. Hard androgyny and genderqueer (which btw I do not identify with genderqueer, not upset with you though) didn't feel right either. There were aspects of classical womanhood from a physical standpoint I knew were in line with myself after many years of HRT. Breasts, my waist line, my now feminine skin texture, my legs, honestly my entire estrogen-sculpted body. Hell, while I haven't gotten full vaginoplasty for medical reasons, I would if I could, Stone Top identity aside. I felt at home around women and lesbians, as a Michif woman/lesbian, but not in femininity. As described in the post I linked in the previous paragraph, the first true step was reclaiming masculinity, and making room for healthy queer masculinity separate from gender.

I want to bring up this exploration of the meaning behind the colours of the lesbian flag for a moment. For me, Butch and all it encompasses, is a part of all of these. Gender non-conformity I think is self explanatory. I am a walking defiance of gender norms and expectation at this point, and butchness as a whole is as well. Independence can mean many different things to different people, but I feel self sufficient as a butch. I feel competent. I feel secure. Mostly importantly though, it is an identity I feel independent in. For years and years I let my expression of gender and sexuality be defined by those around me. Past partners, friends, family, coworkers, etc. I could not claim butch until I took a step away from all of those. I stopped letting them dictate who I was, and let myself learn who I was independently. Community and butch is always going to be linked. Butch is a community-centric identity. When I tell someone in the queer community I'm butch, they know what it means. In a single word I can describe large swathes of my experience and how I relate to the world. But it also comes with community role and responsibilities. Butches and Femmes protect eachother. Butches provide safe masculinity in queer spaces that heals wounds for so many people, including other butches. Butches take up space in a room to ensure other non-butch women have space. We protect, we heal, we love. Butch love is so fucking unique and important to a community. Butch comes with a community meaning, but also community role and responsibility, and to me that is a big part of why I feel comfortable claiming it. Serenity and Peace is so many things. Both internal and external. I have peace within myself as a butch. I feel more peace with myself now than I did for so many years. When I finally said it outloud, said I was a butch lesbian, and people affirmed that, it was like a weight I never even knew existed was lifted. I've felt happier in my time openly being butch than I have in ages, and everyone around me as noticed it too. Friends, family, coworkers all comment on just how happy, confident, and at peace internally I've been. Love and Sex this is a doozy of a topic that I truthfully do not have the desire to explore right now. It is important, but I am not in the headspace for it. But butch love is unique in itself. As for sex, well. Please refer to the wild swathes of queer theory and discourse out there. As an off-hand example relating to myself though, see Stone Butch. Unique Relationships to Womanhood/Feminity. I explicitly wanted to link these together. As a Two-Spirit butch, and a trans-femme one at that, my relationship to womanhood and femininity is unique, complicated, and at times inexplicable. The fact that I can say I don't identify as a Western woman, but with other Michif woman I do feel like a woman, is one confusing way. The fact that butch being a gender identity to me is another. But one aspect I want to explore is this notion that masculine and feminine are antithetical to eachother, when I don't think they need to be. I'm not androgynous. I hold both masculine and feminine, not a middle thing. My masculinity is queer masculinity, and I genuinely think queer masculinity MUST be in some way shape or form partially feminine. There is a softness to queer masculinity. A vulnerability. A tenderness. Queer masculinity is often gentle, loving, soothing. All things associated with Western notions of femininity, not masculinity. But queer masculinity, non-Western masculinity, makes room for those things. You wouldn't look at a mother bear protecting her cubs and say "that's not motherly behaviour, that's not womanhood". My relationship to my feminine self is in relationship to my masculine self. They are tied, and being butch, being a soft butch at that, encompasses it.

I think finally a topic I've been dancing around, though alluded to multiple times, is that first copout answer. Vibes, and gender euphoria as a part of vibes. From the vibes standpoint, what I have to offer is this anecdotal piece. When I told my friends that I was mulling around with the idea of claiming butch, basically every single one went "... yeah? You didn't know that?" Off of vibes alone every single one of my queer friends already knew I was butch. From behaviour, to what I was most comfortable in fashion wise, to how I related to others, they all knew that my "vibes" were butch already, well before I had even remotely considered it. As for the other hard to define aspect... As a non-cis person yourself anon, you mentioned it already. Gender euphoria is a weirdly difficult to attain thing. I spent years on years of experimentation, exploration, and rumination trying to find my euphoria. Trying to find the spot I'm in now, where I find myself loving what's in the mirror every single day. Butch got me to the point that I legitimately look in my mirror and love what I see Every. Single. Day. I take selfies of myself because I love what I look like, even in just a hoodie in sweats, every day now. I put more casual care into how I look now, because I love myself, more than I ever did before. I take better care of my health. I have more self confidence. I'm happier and more stable emotionally. Hell, I'm a better friend, coworker, and community member now as a butch than I ever had capacity to be beforehand. It's not just me noticing that too. Near everyone in my life started making note of it anytime I took another step into fully claiming butch for myself. The biggest reason I feel right in claiming butch is that frankly, how can you look at secure, holistic, stable happiness like this and not say it's right.

There's a lot more I want to say here, but I've already been at this for nearly three hours, and that's on top of the two hours I spent just thinking on the matter to boot. I hope I was able to answer your question at least partially anon, and that it helps you with your own gender expression/identity journey. I think the only other thing I want to say is that it's okay if what you identify with now changes. It doesn't invalidate what you feel now, just like how you are now doesn't invalidate what you felt was right for your say, 5 years ago. Human experience and identity evolves, it grows, it changes. If you feel right with butch now, excellent. If you end up realizing that it was just a stepping stone in discovering your unique patch of gender euphoria, that is just as excellent. Rootin' for ya anon 💕

#holy crap i went way harder on this than i meant to #but i also think this is a topic that deserved some effort #thank you for the thoughtful ask anon #bite me #ask nomi #trans #transgender #butch #trans butch #lesbian #nonbinary #two spirit #sapphic #stone butch #queer #queer theory #gender

48 notes · View notes

vacantgodling · 1 month

Text

right, sexualities of all my MAIN characters from ALL my wips (as i can best describe them)

i'm leaving out rouge ocs like stellan or lauchlan just cuz they don't have a story they're just vibing lol. i'm also leaving out ones where i genuinely don't know yet like itri or seamus.

hyacinthus shrapnel (paramour) -> gay but extremely picky. he was wholly uninterested in sexuality and sex AT ALL until amon

amon (paramour) -> gay and he’s being very whorish about it

lavendula calderon (requiem for the monochrome) -> bisexual but hasn’t really been able to explore her attraction to non-men until the story starts.

erecia (requiem for the monochrome) -> straight-lesbian. she’s butch & troibemme (nb in this universe) but would consider herself bigender she/he in our terminology and fully considers herself both a man and a woman at the same time. she would honestly prefer the label straight-lesbian more than sapphic bc she’s not a woman all the time and that speaks to her experience more than anything.

narcissus spokes (prim & provocative) -> aro-graysexual (sex and romance positive). it’s something she comes to discover throughout her narrative. she doesn’t really experience or feel romance or desire for sex in a traditional way; she desires being wanted so she wants those things for herself but she doesn’t experience the actual attraction herself. she didn’t realize it bc on paper before her divorce, she didn’t have to question any of it—being with myrtus and being casually intimate but never hot and heavy seriously never bothered her. once he leaves though, through meeting new friends (i’m cooking) and generally going through it grants her new perspective.

tagetes gunn (empire) -> aroace (kink positive). the only attraction they have is to power.

kirsi sunniva (alizath) -> bisexual, with a preference for mascs

quill (teardrops of the gods) -> bisexual, with a preference for femmes

darren de leon (vampires don't take roadtrips) -> bisexual with a preference for mascs. he actually thought he was gay for most of his life until he turned like 14 and then he realized "oh, girls are kinda hot too"

julissa vaughn (donut wip) -> bisexual & polyamorous. the dream ending of this wip is her, joaquin, andres, saul and daisy ending up in a quintouple but alas.

noi randiche (noi, alone) -> nblm. they're nonbinary and they like men so. they don't really like labels anyway, but if they had to describe it that's what they'd say.

jenna magboo (jenna the reaper / jenna the witch king) -> bi-ace lesbian. she and carlos are in a qpr basically but in terms of fleeting romantic feelings she'd align more with lesbian (all of her 'crushes' have been women or femme-aligning but she doesn't experience attraction That strongly) but she also doesn't think she's had enough experience to say she's not bi also. lesbian is an important label to her especially because both of her mothers are lesbian, but she also knows she's young and likes the complexity of her labels.

carlos carvalho (jenna the reaper / jenna the witch king) -> aroace (sex/romance repulsed). in a qpr and is a caretaker of jenna - though when i say they're in a qpr its a very unspoken thing between them. like, jenna's whole goal is to become a witch and then make carlos her familiar so they're never separated, so i think that's very explicit about what they are to each other pff.

n blackburn (dead rites) -> the way that n barely registers his sexuality bc he's married to his work LMAOOOO. he'd say that he's pan, it really has more to do with the mental connection than physical attraction for him so anything is fair game (but again... married to his work actually)

beau bellerose (dead rites) -> gay gay homosexual gay

jihan (supernatural dads) -> pan, he's too old to have a preference and he's very open to experimenting.

hue rvynwell (supernatural dads) -> gay and he definitely had a crisis about it when he was growing up. however in his family it was such a nonissue LMAO they were like "why the hell would we care about that just make sure you have a kid" and whaddya know, he had 2!

piper fairwind (tcol) -> queer probably but she doesn't really think about any of that. if she were in our world, labels would be like the most meaningless shit to her LMAO.

san dearborn (tcol) -> aro-queer. romance is just not something she can wrap her head around however she does get into a... teammate with benefits relationship in book 2 that i think is funny as fuck.

deux undershield (tcol) -> literally the first cishet character to appear on this list LMAO

forte symphonia (tcol) -> bisexual

clear brightendale (tcol) -> gay and he's hiding So Deep in the closet he needs someone to tell him its ok to come out lmaooo (aka: literally everyone)

di absyna (lukewarm rejection) -> gay but at what cost (his strict religious parents being generally horrible is one cost pff)

toph (lukewarm rejection) -> bisexual and a menace, but mostly attracted to mascs.

nyseah nicoletti (nondisclosure) -> she's trans heteroflexible basically. she's mostly attracted to guys but she also definitely cares more about a connection than anything else so she's open to exploring. (also she's pff married to my partner they love her LMAO)

donte macbride (nondisclosure) -> gay but more than being gay, he's fucking exhausted.

alona springwell (nondisclosure) -> the second cishet to appear on this list LMAO.

dagmar (celestial weddings) -> being mspec and polyamorous is literally just the default sexuality of the world of celestial weddings so yeeee.

graves (the graves we dug) -> FAGGOT COWBOY YEEHAW. pff but yeah he's gay. and sad.

dove (the graves we dug) -> another faggot cowboy lmao he's gay.

calvin im (purple haze) -> the first cishet dude on this list

jake deluna (purple haze) -> bisexual but he has a rough time coming to terms with this.

nevaeh (god eater) -> tbh i don't think nevaeh even knows what sexuality is (being a beacon of paradise is a very isolating lot in life) but i think they're probably gray across the board. the idea of romance or sex isn't really something they have much of a concept in their brain yet but they're curious about it.

little bear (god eater) -> mspec polyamorous; he doesn't really have time for relationships most of the time but he's definitely open to being ridden by anyone who wants to give it a go.

taj (god eater) -> pan and very in... some sort of codependent infatuation with thei.

thei (god eater) -> pan and tired. in a codependency relationship thing with taj.

lennon rhapsody granger (gothica) -> a surprise cishet appears.

aurora o'rion (gothica) -> bisexual and a whore about it

morrigan briarcos (gothica) -> gay and longsuffering. lennon is his (1) exception.

chidori jonson (train master chidori) -> just generally considers himself queer :)

nyoka (the virgin of mt heredosa) -> demi. its verin or bust.

verin (the virgin of mt heredosa) -> mspec but he's a centuries old god so like the concept of sexuality is mostly funny to him. he likes what he likes.

red (red death and the oracle's favor) -> aroace (sex repulsed bc of trauma). her and hel are in a qpr and i'm obsessed with them and their relationship

hel (red death and the oracle's favor) -> gay but loves red more than he loves dick and that's saying something. he doesn't expect her to say it back or feel the same as him but she cares about him in her own way and he's extremely not normal about it. he also wants to jump arden's bones and Did.

arden (red death and the oracle's favor) -> gay but he can't be gay and the king so he's very closeted. not unaccepting of it but he definitely is not talking about it and only allows himself to indulge with hel under the cover of darkness.

ranger pellish (sixteen candles) -> aro-bisexual and Very sex positive. he's such a slut and he lives by that. him and nan are basically a qpr.

nanette rosenfeld (sixteen candles) -> lesbian but she & range are inseperable and she's definitely given him the strap on many occasion to make him shut the hell up.

tuker hayes (sixteen candles) -> disaster bi with a 13 year long crush on vani he's hopeless.

vanilla vega (sixteen candles) -> demi-pansexual <3

roger grant (sixteen candles) -> probably not straight but is he willing to admit that to himself right now? absolutely not :DDDD

marvin (marvin & linda) -> sexuality doesn't matter because the company is more important (probably gay but yknow. his identity is kind of irrelevant to him)

linda / stephen (marvin & linda) -> mspec but marvin's the first person he's had a connection with on a romantic level.

prosper morning (the white shirts) -> hasn't thought about it too hard, but he definitely thinks marin is attractive and he Hates That a lot.

jane morning (the white shirts) -> she hasn't thought about it before so unknown

marin (the white shirts) -> gay asf

noh bell (noble) -> gay gay homosexual gay space super solider teehee.

peri (peri & dandy) -> outside of dandy, most lifetimes he's demi-gay. but he's really only ever attracted to dandy

dandy (peri & dandy) -> outside of dandy he's pan but he's also only ever looking for peri and only sleeps with people who have "peri energy" (whatever the hell that means lmao)

utah (broken clouds) -> fagggggggggggggggggg

gator (broken clouds) -> faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggg

slug (broken clouds) -> literally they don't know or care about any of that.

sjaak de witte (btaf) -> if he were in modern times, he'd be bisexual probably. and suffering.

biscella (btaf) -> another surprise cishet but i think in modern times she'd also probably be bi i just don't think in the canon verse she had the thought or bandwidth to explore her attraction to women (much to azelie's sadness)

#dude idk what to tag this as PFF #character stats #ig #idk

20 notes · View notes

nothorses · 11 months

Note

Hi, Re: your tags about "what does femmes and nb mean"

There was a ttrpg project i applied to despite it saying it was aimed at femmes or femmes and nb people or something of the like, and they added that if you weren't sure you qualified as that, you could apply anyway. I think they were trying to be inclusive of fem aligned nb people, but it obviously wasn't great. I'm told the person who created the project is planning on going into a career for DEI and would be open to correction, but i wasn't sure quite how to approach it or what suggestions to offer to make things clearer

Do you have any thoughts or resources i could look into/send their way?

Yeah, I've noticed this wording from so many people who seem to honestly think it's The Most Inclusive, and like- it's not bad intent. The people I know who say this stuff tend to also readily agree that trans men should be included as well, that cis butches should be included if other cis women are going to be, etc. This is just the wording they've heard, and they don't know enough to evaluate it any further.

As far as thoughts and resources go: I would try asking some questions about who she's trying to include, who she's trying to exclude, and why.

"Women, NBs, and femmes" is wording I heard from someone recently in reference to a program aimed to get certain marginalized people involved in outdoor rec/ed. Her reasoning was that she had felt excluded from that world as a woman; historically, that's absolutely the case, and clearly she understands that cis women are not the people most targeted by gendered gatekeeping of outdoor spaces, either.

So I would ask: what is the exact group (and get wordy about it) that you want to include? Are transmascs a part of it? Binary trans men? What do you understand "femmes" to mean; are you including cis gay femmes?

Who are you trying to exclude, and why? If only cis men should be excluded, let's evaluate that, too: what about men of color? Disabled men? Both of those groups are extremely well-known to be historically excluded from outdoor spaces, and are still far more excluded from those spaces than any cis white abled woman is today.

But maybe your goal is to address gender specifically, because that's what you understand best. That's fair!

Now you need to ask: do you understand gender, or just other cis women? If you're including trans people, why? I would agree it's intuitive, but you should name that reason so you can explain it and work toward your exact goals more intentionally.

Most people would say that the overlap is something like "gender-based oppression", but maybe you want to specify "misogyny" instead. This gives you something to go off of either way! Now you have a through-line, the thing that defines who you are including and why.

From here, I would suggest orienting your project to be clear about that: does it need to be about the labels people use for themselves, or even the identities of the people involved? Or can it be about addressing this issue in this field? Maybe instead of being "for women and femmes", it can be "against misogyny", or "for gender inclusivity".

These phrases aren't inherently excluding particular people, I know- but that's good to evaluate as well. If a cis man joins a group "against misogyny" and is wholly committed to working alongside you in that, how important is it to you that he be excluded from the group? Why? Are those reasons also going to make trans people feel excluded- particularly closeted trans women? How are you going to tell one from the other?

If you're trying to provide specific resources and support to groups who are marginalized in a particular way, maybe you can be providing resources "to people impacted by the misogyny in this field", or "to support gender inclusivity in this field". Maybe you can let the selection of who does or does not get those resources happen in the applications, or the places you seek people out, or the "about" section, or the way you start your meetings.

None of this is an exact instruction or anything; these are suggestions, but mostly they're questions, and people need to get in the habit of asking and answering them. That's what DEI work is!

I also really reccommend this article on "women and femmes"; it explains what "femme" actually means, and the harmful implications behind the idea that masculinity, not cis manhood, is privileged.

This article from Salal Sexual Violence Support Center on why they're changing their language to "marginalized genders", and this follow-up on what they have learned about the deeper changes needed since making that language change, are also really great.

#trans #transphobia #transmasc #transandrophobia #femmes #femme #feminism

109 notes · View notes

scuderlia · 1 month

Note

Hiya! I love your girlestappen series and can't wait to read the fic! Quick question, I know that Audrey Hepburn is a face claim for Charles (or close enough), but what do you think about Max? Because Max's face is so singular irl, I struggle to imagine what he would look like as a woman, especially as a butch. (Faceapp isn't bad, but adds so much makeup and long hair that it doesn't really work imo). Also, I'm always stuck between Max being bi or a lesbian, but I think this is one of the first Max as a butch verse I've come across. Love it!

hi anon! first off, i'm so sorry it took me a literal month to answer this ask... that's embarrassing for me. but as for the "face claim" for max, i'd say that it's not really set in stone. even girl!charles as audrey is something that i don't really stick to, since when i'm writing i see the both of them less as extensions of any pre-existing women and more as an accumulation of real-life characterizations that have been shifted to better fit this specific narrative.

with that being said, i've been drawing a lot on the look (and general vibe) of young chloë sevigny, especially from when she had shorter hair and a more tomboy-ish style. like you mentioned though, max has such a distinctive face, and it's honestly very difficult to compare it to anyone else's.

also maybe i’m just like, a bitter lesbian... but i feel like so much of female characters and the way they're presented tends to default on their looks, when the process of trying to genderbend these men has so little to do with that. i'd say that me understanding/deciding how girlestappen's interactions and personalities are fleshed out is a much bigger part of the actual au than their physical appearances.

#we are SO back #asks #fic asks #girlestappen

8 notes · View notes

dxcinhx · 10 months

Text

dropping some thoughts about vida here

i started watching this show for melissa barrera and i absolutely enjoyed it and have rewatched some episodes bc it's very entertaining

s3 felt kind of different, it was almost like the sisters switched roles at some points

i might be reading too much into it, but in the first few eps as emma and nico's relationship was going well i would look at emma's face and be like she's happy but she's still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and of course it did. and i was so sad to see her clam up again and fall back into her whole "vulnerability = weakness" thing. for a few episodes she just looked so dead inside like she was seriously depressed and triggered with everything going on, like nico's secret wife and her awful dad making himself known

i love lyn so much but i need her to be single. i'm so glad she finally realized where her true priorities lie and that she needs to work on turning into a chameleon with the men in her life but i just hate that it happened in the last like 20 minutes of the series finale

side note but i was not expecting lyn to get so into religion for a hot minute. i mean i understand that it was her yet again molding herself to the people in her life, so i think she snapped out of it once her father showed his true colors but still like it was so jarring. god the man gave me such awful vibes and the last scene of him and emma after she confronted him was legitimately hard to watch

the sisters spent so much time apart and on different pages this season it made me sad :( i completely understand why but i do miss the moments in the first episode or in earlier seasons when they were sisterly and messing with each other

i love that mari had some more time this season to build herself up a little more and yes this is cruel to say but her dad dying is a blessing ! now she can finally look after herself and find people who appreciate what she does. honestly that man pretty much killed himself after he kicked out the only child who actually took care of him. ladies ask not what u can do for machismo but what machismo can do for u

speaking of this family i can't STAND johnny oh my GOD get off my screen and get away from the women in ur life all u do is hurt them

god i wish this new generation of shows had longer seasons. a 6 episode season is nowhere near enough to develop the characters and storylines better (even tho this season the episodes weren't all 30 min like s1 and s2). i was like holy shit things are happening so fast it's one terrible thing after the other but of course they are, they only have like 5 hours to tell the story!!

i'm really fond of this show and how witty it is, its integration of mexican and american and mexican-american cultures, the spanglish, the butch rep!! everything

actually one of my favorite moments this season was when lyn was talking to that european dude at her bf's mom's bday party (fuck her bf and his mom by the way holy shit he was such a weirdo) and she was talking about how difficult it is to be perceived as mexican by gringos while still not being mexican enough for mexicans. when she said she couldn't even hold a conversation in english or spanish i was like u read my mind. i'm literally incoherent. anyway it really resonated with me as an immigrant and i think it's such an important conversation to have!!

anyway emma and lyn repaired their relationship and their bigoted father is rotting in hell and they keep the bar and eddy's back too and everything is going better than ever, they told me so themselves <3

#honestly i relate so much to emma #emotionally constipated gay older sister of a latino family with mommy issues?#present #vida

16 notes · View notes

queer-queries · 1 year

Note

Soo, I’m not really sure how to ask this question. But I’m a *girl*, but I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy. And honestly sometimes being called a girl feels wrong, like I guess I identify with tomboy more than I do girl? But not always, sometimes I like being called a girl. Idk its weird and I’m just not acknowledging that atm

But because of my short hair and the way I dress, people often confuse me for a boy and call me he or young man. And it doesnt bother me? Actually sometimes I prefer it being called she. But I dont like when people use neutral words for me like they or person, it makes me feel bad and Im not sure why. So I guess my question is can I be a girl and use both he and she? Or at least is it okay if I don’t mind that people sometimes think I’m a boy?

Thank you in advance - 🍕

hey lovely anon! you know what, gender is very personal. sure, there are broad labels and understandings we put on it, but at the end of the day, we can't possibly put the entirety of human gender diversity into a broad general label.

for example, i get dysphoria with my chest and with being thought of as a woman, but i am 100% comfortable with the fact that i'm a girl, just in a genderqueer way. i want to be seen as a boy-girl, but i am extremely uncomfortable with the terms masc, transmasc, and boy/guy/man for myself. i want to be as butch as i can but i hate he/him pronouns for myself just as much as i hate the term 'woman' for myself, but i am not non-binary. all of this might confuse others, but it's just who i am.

i'm saying this to show that gender has fuck-all to do with how we TRY to understand it in a broader context, and much more to do with just how we personally define it for ourselves. i personally have seen hundreds of women on this site who use he/him pronouns- some exclusively, some along with other pronouns! i'm not sure if you are a lesbian or identify with that term personally, but if you are or if you're sapphic in some way, not necessarily just lesbian sapphics, then there is a HUGE history of challenging gender norms. in fact, Leslie Feinberg, one of the most influential thinkers of early American lesbian, trans, and queer activism, used he/him pronouns, she/her pronouns, and the pronouns ze/hir as well as part of hir stone butch identity!

pronouns are really personal and they can be arbitrary but my point is- yes yes yes, you can ABSOLUTELY be a girl/tomboy who uses both he/him and she/her pronouns. you can use them as alternates, use one set at a certain time and another at different times, be fluid between them, you can truly do what you want when it comes to your queer identity. i recommend this reading to everyone, but especially queer girls/queer people who identify at least somewhat with lesbianism/sapphicism/queer womanhood, to read Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg. It's truly a seminal work, and along with exploring butch identity, it is also an exploration of lesbian and trans class struggle!

if you struggle with reading, language, or anything like that, then you can let me know and i'd be happy to give you a summary of Stone Butch Blues as well as some of my favorite quotes/themes!

#reign replies #queer advice #gender #trans #queer

18 notes · View notes

superwholockian93 · 21 days

Text

It's crazy that I'm saying this but I actually started 911 ABC (Fox?) today and watched the entire s1 at a stretch. I kid you not. Like yeah Buck Eddie thing over the years was a long time coming but I think I saw clips recently of the show that looked fun and that one tweet that said it was a comedy and had some trauma inducing moments. Plus, I saw a clip of that Eddie actor in a pink (peach?) suit and my brain went *Pretty* Then, I realised I am currently not watching any American show why the hell not so I started the show and

* Buff people (I think they get more buff by the season or ?) in a blue coloured uniform

* Angela Bassett is a police officer !! not firefighter or whatever the others are!

* Oliver Stark really has a lot of role. Like honestly idk why I thought he would graduate to being one of the main characters in the later seasons

*I like Hen

*What is Oliver Stark's accent supposed to be? Do American guys really talk like that? (genuine question)

*Somehow everybody on this looks good and I'm not mad about it. The men, the women

*I'm not always sure about the acting (last show I watched non-MCU or non-SW was Succession)

*I am ENJoying the show

*There's too much cheese

*Angela Bassett is married to a gay man? Wth She's not with Bobby??

*Wtf was my reaction to the initial reveal about their relationship but as it progressed I kinda liked it

*There's no Eddie? :( (Though I'm sure he's supposed to look more butch and less pretty or I guess that's my impression from other shows)

* 1/3rd through Abby and Eddie's developing relationship I realized I was rooting for them and then my brain went like no no it's Ed and Buck, stop

*I liked the 2 episodes in the middle a lot. One around the full moon and one before that

*LoTs of Cheesy lines. I was not prepared for that

*2 moments that really surprised me: the guy who falls off his own home during Valentine's Day and Hen cheating on her wife

*Anyway back to cheering for Buck and Abby (they really chose an actress who has a great calm steady voice. I really liked her maybe cuz a lot of it was relatable in way)

*Was a bit freaked out when the mother kept saying she saw a reflection on the glass who wouldn't talk to her (and that the guy was actually inside)

*Angela Bassett and her new person getting handcuffed/stuck on the bed and Hen laughing. That whole scene was funny.

*I love Bobby and Hen's friendship. Hen and Buck's. Bobby and Chim's. Bobby and him sort of father figure to Buck? I also like Hen and her wife (not sure what I feel about her wife letting her back in post cheating; will see how that goes) Hen and Angela Bassett. I love their scenes.

*I like a lot of casual what is it called where it is like world building but more in terms of the characters and with each other rather than just the world they live in. I missed that in a lot of new shows in recent years. Or maybe cuz I haven't watched much as such

*I really like how they concluded Abby's storyline (I have no idea if she's coming back but kinda felt like it ended?)

*I liked Clara

*I really liked whene'er Angela Bassett was on screen but sometimes felt a little idk about the cop stuff ngl

*I liked Chim too but there wasn't a whole lot that I can recall. Doesn't he like ends up with Buck's sister? That rebar though woah and that cake xD

*Buck talks and sometimes these random facts and he's a nice guy so yeah he's nice but like I like all of them in that uniform

*Oh that guy who got torn into half gnarly

*Hehe Bobby and Angela Bassett do go out together on a date in the end :D

PS: I saw the posts on the tapeworm guy. I'm genuinely confused why that was the one moment picked for Buck from his "season 1 days". Can somebody explain? Also that scene where he tugs out that worm that comes out with a pop? Gross but funny

#911 abc #911 fox #Oliver Stark #evan buckley #angela bassett #I keep writing Buck as Bucky #I think I see a type in Buck's choice of people #this post might be incomprehensible to most

6 notes · View notes

lexa-griffins · 9 months

Note

Please share your lady of the night Lexa x recently freed from prison Clarke thoughts

I'm gonna copy/paste what I sent @bottom-lexa and try and make it coherent 😅

Lexa lives in a trucker stop type town. Very small. Known for being safe for women so Lexa tends to get a lot of older butch women as clients. But she never saw any of them as more than that. She barely ever sees them again.

But one day she's approached by a car with a young pretty girl inside who offers to buy a drink. They dance and when they go back to Clarke's motel room it feels more like a one night stand than anything else….

That is until morning comes and Clarke thinks there's something there and Lexa asks for payment and leaves right after.

Clarke just got out of jail. It was a short sentence, some youth mistakes with drugs and robbery at the cusp of turning 18 that got her 8 years of which she only served 5 with good behavior. Her mom disowned her and the town hates her so she sets up north with the money her dad left her before he died, not long after she went to jail.

Lexa had a shitty home life, abusive parents who left her to fend for herself the moment she became an adult and after a few odd jobs as a server she ended up as a prostitute. Pays better anyways, and the ladies treat her right.

Its like these two women with such shit lives in a town so nicely nickname PolisDyke who don't know where to go who find comfort in each other.

Clarke does become a regular, against her better judgement really. After Lexa walks off Clarke is ready to leave and continue driving. She hits the road in her beat up car and she makes it half way down the deserted road when it breaks down and she has to call a tow company to get it checked. She goes back into the town to wait for it to be fixed but she finds its far more than she can afford.

That's the first night she goes back to Lexa. This time she pays without much fuss and they part ways.

She finds finds a job at the gas station. Lexa hangs there a lot too. Quickies do a lot for her. Soon enough, Clarke is paying her for those too on her breaks.

Clarke is living on a motel. Lexa has an apartment although its honestly not much better… or bigger. The motel is their preferred place to meet, although Lexa has made the call to bring Clarke over to hers.

At some point Clarke forgets she's working to pay her car. She's actually enjoying life here. She's made friends with Raven, the owner of the repair shop, Octavia and Lincoln who own the bar and Anya the owner of the gas station and well as the other guy who works there, Murphy. Its a small town, she doesn't feel like she has to go anywhere else and there are new faces newly everyday being such a frequent trucker stop. And then there's Lexa, who keeps pulling at her. Stability is not something Clarke is used to as although she was middle class, she barely saw her parents at all which lead her to act out. And this, this is nice. She has a job and a place to sleep. Despite its run down appearance the town is friendly and happy all around. And Clarke gets to feel like she made something out of herself, it gives her the purpose that she needed because before jail she was the disgraced child of hard working people and then became a criminal and now she gets to be who she wants to become. It feels stable and safe, Gustus the owner of the motel reminds her of the guards in jail but with a paternal aura to him that makes her feel safe and the entire town is just this collection of somewhat broken people who try to make it a good place to live in despite everything.

And Lexa just tries her best to stay away, she's a client, a regular. But then payment stops being discussed and although Clarke hands her the money Lexa feels dirty receiving it. It never felt dirty before, even with regulars.

Her and Lexa have this weird "flirty friends during the day fucking during the night" all wrapped in that client/escort dynamic that makes it weird and yet its like they've known each other for ages. They have lunch together and hang out but there's always that sexual tension between them. They are fwb really but Lexa cant put that label on them because Clarke is paying her and she doesn't have the capability to tell Clarke bot to pay her and that she wants to have sex with her just to have because does Clarke even want to have sex with her like that? That opens the door for something more neither are particularly sure they want.

And then... Clarke starts with drugs again. Nothing too heavy, but its an habit either way. Lexa was raised around drugs and she hates them and she raises hell when she watches Clarke smoke, as if they are dating and she has a say in it. That shit annoys Clarke so much because /why/ cant Lexa just say it? Why does she have to act like she cares and then immediately act all cold with the client bullshit? Clarke could make a good stable life here if it wasn't for Lexa making it all unstable and Lexa doesn't see that instead of talking she acts like her mom who snapped at her dad any time he did drugs but never trying to help him, only smacking him and kicking him while her dad did nothing other than stand there and numb himself with drugs and care little for the way his wife beat his daughter when he fucked up because Lexa was the reason she was "stuck in this shit hole with her shit father.

Lexa's dad never fought back, she remembers so vividly her mom just smacking him and him letting her. She never beat him, but Lexa knew the smacks weren't light. But he just did nothing, either too high or just not caring.

Its during a fight when Lexa got to Clarke's room to find her clearly high that she gets so mad she tries to smack her. But Clarke knows her limits. She doesnt let herself get high to a degree of not knowing her surroundings. And prison gave her a sixth sense for when a fight is gonna break so she grabs Lexa's wrists when she starts to smack her. And that jerks Lexa back to reality and she realizes she has seen this play out before. Clarke fights back, she holds Lexa down and refuses to let her push her around. And Lexa is so glad, because Clarke wont let her be her mom, because her mom was created with the help of her dad's attitude and Clarke wont have it. And its not a one time thing, it repeats itself a few times, usually all involving the same settings of the drugs and a tiring day at work but Clarke will stop her and tell her to go slapsh some cold water on her face while Clarke goes to the shower clothes and all under the freezing water to force herself out of her state. Its this insistence Clarke has that theyll figure it out, that she can fix it that makes Lexa really see shes copying her mothers behaviors and that if she wants her life to be different, better, she needs to make some changes to herself, but she also needs Clarke to make changes too

They are both just emotionally stunt. Neither know how to fully express their feelings without making it a fight. Because Clarke can still grab her car and go away. Lexa makes money by having sex with other women, its not something she can just stop because the people in town wont want to hire her known what she did before. Its not that simple and yet it could be if they just tried. But life has never been easy and simple for them, so they cant just let this between them be either...

#hopefully this reads somewhat okay 😂#had to change stuff around #also lexa doesnt really smoke she just tends to have a cigarette in her mouth cause theres an allure to it #letter opened #not sure if this is g!p clarke or not tbh #this is really big why? 😂😂

7 notes · View notes

feralattentionwhore · 2 years

Text

Get to know the blog:

So apparently my horny posts are something worth following for so I guess I'll do a bio and about me thing that definitely won't turn into a random ADHD ramble about shit

About me

I'm Feral, 19 and I never learnt how to read ✌️

^^ I'm leaving this up because I think it's hilarious but I'm 20 now

Living in the UK but not white

demisexual as fuck, preference for women but honestly I'm more interested in how we vibe than any gender. I tend to identify most with lesbian/sapphic labels because I feel most comfortable in this community.

fuck knows my gender either, I mostly present femme atm but I just identify as *all* I'd say I'm more nb/w or nb/nb & t4t but just in love with queer people in general. I am a girl but I'm also a boy, I'm not cis. You aren't straight if you're attracted to me

Owned, completely and utterly in love, technically poly. I'd rather start off as friends and see how it goes (benefits available if we vibe)

-Dni and more under than the cut-

DNI:

I'm saying this now, I love y'all but minors please get off my page *respectfully*. This includes blank blogs without your age/ age range

Cis men-Age regressors-People who fetishise trans people, s*ssies and cross dressers-Gender/sexuality correction-terfs/homophobes etc-

Oh and PSA this fucking includes people who gatekeep LGBT labels, including but not limited to hating on butch lesbians who transition, nb&he/him lesbians. Just honestly if you aren't accepting of the ✨ENTIRE✨ LGBT+ community and how people choose to identify please leave. No buts no ifs no maybes

How to give attention:

Asks are completely okay, if you want to talk through anon regularly pick an emote and I'll be sure to tag it so they're easy to find. Flirt with me or ask questions, just keep it within my limits please.

Requests are also totally okay along with reblogs of any of my posts. They're always appreciated!

Unless we've interacted before please don't randomly DM me. Mutuals are obviously always welcome to chat, for non moots I prefer asks as I get a lot of anxiety

I tend to check out profiles that reblog/follow so if you want to be moots then that's the way to go

I can't believe I have to say this, but if you're only messaging me to sext or roleplay or whatever you call it you can leave. It makes me uncomfortable, and will most likely make me feel weird about talking to you again in the future. I'm happy to flirt but unless we've talked about it nothing more.

Safe words and talks about boundaries and limits are non negotiable in kink. If you're not respectful of that you're not a dom, if you don't have complete understanding of how this works and expect to engage in anything sexual with someone without doing proper preparation you're practicing unsafe and frankly dangerous kink. Kink is something serious and you need to know what you're doing

I'm demisexual, with a partner and require actual communication before I engage in anything other than flirting. If you're literally only talking to me bc I'm hot or for sex n stuff you're going to be disappointed

I also have a shit tonne of anxiety, so I will disappear if something makes me feel unsafe. If I don't reply, don't make it worse by getting upset. I'm sorry but I really just don't have the energy to deal with things, especially when we don't really vibe.

About ✨whore✨me:

I'm a sub mostly, total bottom and complete mess irl. thought I was ace until this year and basically innocent af (I mean significantly less as of v recently but still fairly shy). Also kinda a hermit so I'm very touch starved.

Short long summary of my kinks.. To be continued..

- Praise and nicknames, specifically cute ones that start with "my"

- Exhibitionism Mostly being uh, fucked in front of people and stuff

- hands and fingersJust god, everything to do with them. In my mouth? Yes, Pulling my hair? Yesss, choking me?? Yesssssssss, hurting tf out of me?? Please

- being manhandled, strength, just be stronger than me and throw me around pls&ty

- being a simp for me and letting me get away with pretty much anything?? Yes

- being controlled and posessiveness Like a lot, like probably more than a healthy amount

- being teased, constantly

- marks.. Just fucking marks feeling owned and having proof of it with collars and stuff

- and also pain, pain and more pain all the hard kinks

- voices, dirty talk, the way they beg, and moan, and call me a good girl, the way their voice drops when they tease me. Everything about voices

- corruption.. 👀 😤

- being free use, letting friends fuuck me, being a whore for everyone. Them sharing my nudes with their friends, them letting their friends fuck me? Yes please

- affectionate domination / soft doms but rough sex

- most of this is just the long way of saying I have a massive kink for my pretty ass girlfriend though.. Just everything about them.. Mostly their hands, and their voice and uh.. Yeah just them

Limits:

-degradation, any way shape or form,I'll most definitely cry. Acting like you don't like me, hurt me because you love me not because you think I'm worthless

- pet play, Ddlg and that kind of vibe aren't for me

- I don't quite know how to explain it but the strict af, black suit and tie, academy / high protocol/training style/straight people bdsm. It's just way too nonpersonal for me and not fun. I prefer messing around and stuff plus my gf looks way better in a skirt

- discipline, punishments and other things that make me think you hate me (see: I'm a big ass baby and sensitive af)

- refering to my uhh *anatomy* just uh it gives me dysphoria like a lot so please don't

- body fluid shit, incest, feet, tickling, hypnosis

- other things that I'm not perticularly comfortable talking about here, you don't need to know unless we're talking

Tags I use:

Yes I'm insanely bad at tagging things, yes I'm trying, no it's not working. If I forget to, just get mad at me in asks or something. I'm sorry ADHD just kind of does that

#feral asks - all asks that I've answered

#feral music - music recommendations because I have a god complex about music

#feral in love - direct posts about my gf/wife/partner/Dom/love of my life

#feral tmi - random personal shit about myself and figuring out my body

#feral reblogs - stuff I reblog, I have a separate account where I keep most of my reblogs but sometimes I can't help it

#needy feral - me begging for attention on Tumblr

#feral exposed - photos of me

#tw feral - depressing shit, mute the tag if you don't want to see that shit

#dark feral - hard kink shit, mute if you'd rather not see it

#feral complaints - shit that bothers me

#feral blogs - thoughts, updates and questions for you all about the blog

#nsft #About me #get to know the blogger #get to know me #rambles #im in looooove #i don't know how to tag this #needy feral #feral tmi #feral asks #feral in love #feral music #feral complaints #dark feral #tw feral #feral exposed #feral blogs

44 notes · View notes

hingabee · 10 months

Note

Genuine question, for real: why do you think Kira is straight? Also why Kira/Bashir? I’ll be honest I feel weird shipping it because of the actors’ real life relationship, but that’s just me and they did seem to have a lot of chemistry in Fascination. What do you think of Kira/Damar which seems to be one of the more common F/M Kira ships in the fandom right now. Honestly I just find a lot of the femslash fandom in DS9 kinda boring: I think I’d be more into Kira femslash pairings if people wrote fics and meta for them that didn’t just feel like middle school slumber parties

the easy answer is that i watched ds9 at age 9 or 10 and rly liked kira/bashir. fascination blew kid mes mind lmfao it was my favourite episode (i know i know) i think its partially bc they simply have awesome chemistry (though julian has good chemistry with pretty much everyone on the main cast, hence him being so easy to ship) but i especially like them bc kiras taste in men is just so awful and julian IS AWFUL (pls no hate to julian lovers, i myself like him bc hes awful in many a ways) and somehow they just work in my head, especially if you look at them leaning towards post canon. its just fun little barbie dolls i can smash together idk (i also really do not care about actors/voice actors in any of my fandoms so i wasnt even aware of any irl relations until like. two years ago or smth. and yeah i dont care lmfao i dont know these people)

also yeah im not big on kiradax myself, but i rly have come to enjoy kira/ziyal (partially in thanks to the lovely @ectogeo-rebubbles and @the-last-dillpickle encouraging me) bc its just the right levels of sweet and freaky that i enjoy as for kira being straight, man i really just like joking abt it bc its funny to me with her bland men. and while my private identity is irrelevant in my enjoyment of fiction, PERSONALLY i struggle seeing her as being mostly attracted to women. ive also seen people call kira butch, and i disagree with that too. obviously everyone is entitled to their personal interpretation but i actually think kira is more traditionally feminine... femme... whatever than the other female leads (both daxes)

also kira/damar is very fun. i also like damar/ziyal and damar/mila lol my mans can get it

10 notes · View notes

cowboyjen68 · 2 years

Note

i appreciate everything you do so much <3 it would have been so great to have had positive interactions with lesbains and butch women in particular, from an early age. Took me a while to figure myself out and because comfortable in myself because I was trying to compromise with my mom, for her it's bad enough that her daughter's a lesbian.. but she's also butch!! the horror lol. she would always point out butch women we saw on the street and say snarky stuff about them and it was always so disheartening, because I wanted to be like them. Now I have a femme girlfriend and friends who support me, and I'm letting myself embrace that more but sometimes it's still in the back of my mind. But finding your account on tiktok has honestly done wonders for me, it's been so incredibly helpful! I think a lot of ppl are very grateful for everything you do 💖

I distinctly remember thinking "there is no way I am butch or lesbian because I am not like all of the ways other people describe them." The only depictions I saw were "tough, angry and distant" women who tried very hard to be "one of the boys" . Caricatures of butch women as created by mostly straight men.

I heard us talked about as "man hatiing, OR worse maybe, "just like a man". And I knew then didn't mean the kind of men I had in my life like my dad and brothers who were kind and humorous guys. I only ever heard my male family members talk highly of wives and girlfriends. They were the kind of guys who would definitley rather hang out with their spouses and not the "boys". They meant the caricatures of men that I saw in the movies or old TV shows. The kind who say "the old ball and chain" and either complain about women or talk about them as only objects of sexual desire, not as full humans.

I did mental inventory checklists. I don't hate men, I don't look at women and see JUST boobs or some such nonsense. But I did know I saw them as sexually attractive as pueberty hit, which caused me a whole other set of concerns "Oh no.. AM I JUST like those kind of men?!". I didn't WANT to not understand or be like other women, I just couldn't quite fit in or be "one of the girls" at social gatherings. I realized later that many of the girls I felt "othered" from where just better at fitting the stereotype that earned them acceptance than I was. None of them were actually fitting into the "box" society said they should. They played the part to "fit in". And many of them actually felt or were shamed when they DID like things our culture said they should, like they were giving in. GIrls could just not win.

My mom, who later told me she knew I was a lesbian by 4 or 5 or so never said anything bad about lesbians perse. BUT she defininitely pushed me to be more "feminine" in subtle ways. She herself played softball, rallied against wearing skirts (by rolling up jeans underneath and loosing the dress once away from home). She did not fit all the steretyples of a "1950's House wife" when she married dad. My dad would say he loved her because she was different. Independant.

I think a part of my mom recoginzed that being a masculine woman DID come with dangers and judgements from the outside world. As a parent she wanted to remove as many obstacles from her child's life as she could. As a parent myself I look back and understand. She knew I would always be a lesbian but she maybe thought she could curtail some of the visibility of butchness under clothes and mannerisms. Constantly saying "don't be loud, be nice the the boys, Just TRY the dress, put on a clean shirt, try not to get dirty, SMILE, don't sit like that".

In hindsight, as a woman she very well understood the aggression with which society and people could use to get women to fall in line, to adhere to our role. My dad, being a man, was constantly like "let her be, leave her alone, she's a tomboy, it's fine. Who cares?" He just had no idea who much MORE demand there is for women to conform. Mom did.

I can't say this is your mom's unconscious thought process, she might just be unable to understand butch is a thing you just ARE and her limited understand of how women are supposed to be does not allow her to get that. But perhaps her actions are formed my experience as a woman.

I am so glad you are loving yourself. The act of a butch realizing we can just live, unaided, unbothered and with no effort as a butch is a freeing feeling. Having a femme girlfriend is icing on the cake. I can say I never felt so loved and protected as when my girlfriend would tell me she appreciated me, found me sexy, that SHE felt safe with me.

Thank you for your kind words about my tiktok. I can't hear enough times that my presence on the internet helps, yet just hearing it once is enough to motivate me to keep on keeping on! Lesbian and butch positivity and visibility was important to me coming out and I am paying that forward.

#butch #lesbian #femme #family #mom

34 notes · View notes