#i keep finding things! why my brain is always thinking! this game is designed to drive nitpickers insane.

[euphoricfilter]

domestic daydreams:

[cheese sandwiches at the park tomorrow]

pairing: influencer! jungkook x f. reader

genre: fluff || established relationship || non-idol au ||

summary: a window into the life of jeon jungkook

word count: 1.2k

tags/ warnings: just lots and lots of fluff its sickening

notes: am slightly tempted to turn this into a mini series because there's so much to talk about...

where you can find all my other stuff!!

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

Jungkook thinks both you and himself had always been connected by the delicate knots of the red string of fate. Possibly a constrictor knot, because it only ever seemed to grow tighter with every moment you spent together, impossible to untie as your souls start to intertwine and lives mingle into one.

His ever-growing infatuation with you, evident to his online audience.

Because he had no issue showing you off, talking about you in videos and sharing you with the wider world. He thinks it must be a tingly sort of satisfaction he gets, knowing that no matter how many faceless people love you, he will forever love you more. No matter how many people compliment you with how pretty you are, comments flooded with praise for your mere existence, he will forever appreciate you the most. Your entire being a precious little thing that he has sewn into his fragile human heart, yours forever to keep.

He knows he’s able to touch you in ways no one else can. He knows he’s able to wake up to you each morning, press soft lips to soft skin, warm under calloused hands as eye lashes tickle tender skin as the sun leaks through the curtains. Each passing moment peacefully quiet until you murmur his name, fingers pressing into his skin as you pull him closer for a kiss.

He’d started posting online only months before meeting you, a little creative outlet to get rid of that itch of not taking media, but rather choosing game design. A subject he loved dearly, though desperate to visualise his life through moving image and all the cool things that come with that.

And during the months of you talking, his presence online slowly started to take off. What had once been only a creative outlet morphing into such a huge part of his life. Something he had wanted to keep from you for so long, a little whisper in his brain worried it would send you running. With some of the comments he received, dms from both men and women alike, he wasn’t exactly sure how to bring it up to you.

And he knows in hindsight it was a silly little worry because you loved every part of him. Loved that he shared little parts of his life with so many people. Passions clipped into videos, well-loved equipment laying around his apartment, something so wholly Jungkook you found yourself beaming whenever he would get the tripod out to film himself cooking, or planning a design for an assignment, or just little clips of nature when the both of you go on walks.

Because what had once been a video diary for Jungkook had slowly become a video diary for you too, perfectly crafted memories that you find yourself watching when you’re alone. Always so hard to keep the smile off your face as you see how happy you are. Because that’s what Jungkook makes you; incredibly happy.

You watch as he tries to balance his phone against a bag of pasta neither of you had wanted to put away the night before, chin resting on the palm of your hand as you watch him struggle.

“Why don’t you get the tripod?” you murmur, catching his attention.

Jungkook turns to look at you, eyes a little wide, “Because I just want to film me making our lunch” he tells you.

“Besides—” he continues, “that would mean I have to go into the bedroom, and I don’t feel like being apart from you today” he says as he turns back to his phone, fiddling around with the settings a little so the light from the kitchen window wouldn’t look so harsh.

Your lips quirk up into a smile, toes curling into the floor.

“I would come with you” you sit up a little straighter, catching a glimpse of his face on the screen of his phone, “we could even hold hands too”

Jungkook pauses, hands pressing into the counter as he narrows his eyes at you over his shoulder, “Are you patronising me?”

Your nose scrunches up at that, “No” you start, “just so you know, I love holding your hand”

He hums, “Well then I guess you’re lucky… I like holding your hand too”

“Oh—” your eyes widen, “It’s gonna fall”

Jungkook winces when his phone tips forward, bottom lip tucked between your teeth as he lifts it back up again.

You push the chair away from the table, slipping your own phone out of your pocket, laying it flat against the counter so his will stop slipping.

“Thank you, baby” he leans down, pressing a kiss to your cheek, face only an inches away from yours when he decides it isn’t enough and presses a firm kiss to your lips too.

“Now,” he nods, “let’s make us lunch”

You push yourself to sit on the counter by his phone as he hits record, smiling up at you as he starts talking.

“Me and Y/n went shopping earlier and saw this new cheese I wanted to try, so I’m gonna make us sandwiches for lunch” he says, pulling the chopping board closer to himself as he pulls the drawer open to get a knife.

“Cucumber” he shows the camera, quick as he cuts it up, “and today we’re having tomatoes, but none for the pretty girl because she doesn’t like them” he explains, showing off the produce his dad had been growing in their garden, proud smile on his face as he hands you a slice of cucumber to eat while he finishes preparing lunch.

You slip off the counter when he calls you over, hesitant to step in frame and see yourself on camera. Jungkook steps a little closer to you, arms slipping out of frame to hold your hands as he looks down at you, so much adoration in his eyes.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes” he whispers, already knowing where your hesitation stems from, “always such a pretty little thing”

You glance over at the camera, video still recording, “Jungkook… your video” you murmur.

“Doesn’t matter” he shakes his head, “you know you don’t have to be in it if you don’t want to” he tells you, “Whatever you’re comfortable with, yeah?”

“We could film something tomorrow” you say, “we should go to that park again, maybe have a picnic?”

His lips quirk up into a smile, “I’d like that” he nods, “And if this cheese is any good, we can make even better sandwiches”

“Good point” you nod, “I’ll have to take you up on that offer if you make a solid lunch today” you step away from him, eyeing the finished sandwich sat on the chopping board.

“I always make the best lunches” he tells you, reaching into a cupboard for two plates.

“Our favourite girl doesn’t want to be on camera today” Jungkook mumbles, mouth half full of food as he looks at himself before glancing at you on the opposite side of the table, “But what’s the verdict, baby?”

You chew, nodding as you give him a thumbs up, Jungkook returning the gesture as his eyes curl up into a smile.

“Love you” he swallows.

“Love you too” you pucker your lips, watching as he leans over the table to press a kiss to your lips.

#bts fanfic #bts fluff #jjk #jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook one shot #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts non idol au #bts imagines #bts fic

[impishjesters]

Mafia Boss Jax x Reader

warning(s): gun mentioned, stalking mentioned, domestic/soft Jax, marriage mentioned note(s): Honestly couldn't really see much worth tagging, it's all just stuff you'd expect to see mentioned in a mafia/gang headcanon... A/N: So I saw a fanart thingie (and I've had it on the brain anyway) and it made me thirsty for some mafia boss Jax and I just... I might have to write up a one-shot (or series) at some point but this was enough to quench my thirst...temporarily. I can definitely see myself building a universe around this idea though. I'm excited as you can tell because I just kept fuckin' going in writing this out... Also feast upon domestic Jax in the latter half, I got mushy...

Jax is a tricky boss, it’s hard to get a solid read on him, as an enemy or an ally. He’s almost always sporting a grin, making it difficult to gauge unless you can tell those smiles apart. If he’s frowning? Ha.

He’s that fine middle ground of laid-back yet strict. His word is law, get shit done and do it right and he doesn’t particularly care about the rest.

This person needs to be killed, but before that, they need to be tortured for information. How you torture or kill them doesn’t matter, you get that information or else.

Rabbits are his motif design, not originally by choice but it stuck. Purple rabbit head, his signature grin, it’s childish—which is why it’s perfect, only idiots see that childish design and think “Oh this will be easy” and then it’s fuckin not.

Working for him means nobody is an exception to his little pranks and fuckery. Nothin’ too bad—not intentionally anyways. Bunch of wackos with guns, who thought they’d get trigger-happy when startled?

If you work for him, chances are he finds you a fun target for his mischief.

He might seem buddy buddy with you, but remember he’s your boss. Chances are you are acquaintances at best, not friends. At least for now—who knows?

If you’re dating him, well howdy hey aren’t you a pretty little thing on his arm?

Just kidding, regardless of whether you work under him or not you are given standard gun training as protection for yourself and him, but mainly yourself.

He does like it when you are his date for any events, though he’ll never say it. Jax is the type to bring up an event and do the whole shtick of “guess I’ll need to find a date” sorta guy.

Back on the topic of dating him and gun training—on the off chance you are dating and don’t know about his little crew and lifestyle… What the fuck’s wrong with you? Are you that blind? His position isn’t some well-kept secret, well not to anyone who knows anything.

Jax is pretty straightforward about it, except with his track record of joking there’s like a 97% chance you thought he was kidding when he said he’s a mafia boss. Ha, surprise.

Now if the two of you are dating, and you aren’t part of his little world then he does do his best to keep you out of it. This means that there are periods when you won’t see him, whether it’s because he’s busy or for safety reasons.

You aren’t safe from spam texts, calls, and video chats though. Nah, that’s all fair game to him baby.

Oh, you got work in the morning? Tough, he’ll stay on the phone/video with you until you pass out—he might go a step further and stay on the call for hours even if you are unconscious.

He does it for one of three reasons…

One, it gives him fuel to use whatever shit you say or do in your sleep to tease you with later.

Two, your company, albeit silent and unaware that you’re keeping him company, makes him feel less alone. Moments like this are often when he’s not working and at home, alone. Hearing you breathe, babble, and shuffle around on speaker has him feeling less alone in that big home of his.

Three, it gives him some piece of mind that you are okay, he can see and hear you, and no guns or glass are breaking to be heard. You’re safe. Moments like this are usually after stressful events, whether it’s a job gone wrong, someone injured, etc.

Those calls usually last through the night into the morning and you wake up and see the call still on or see him on the screen. He’s never told you about why some calls continue into the morning, or rather why he’s still awake when he should’ve been sleeping. Though it doesn’t take a genius to figure out it’s not just him being a stalker, but something more serious—if the oddly sweet tone he uses when telling you good morning and asking how you slept is anything to go by.

That said, Jax is not a morning person—even to you. Though if he’s awake before you or has yet to sleep, he’s oddly tender and domestic when it’s just the two of you.

“How’d ya sleep, angel? Dream of me? Nah, don’t answer that, I know ya did.”

“Hey sleepyhead, got ya coffee and breakfast ready. No, I didn’t put anything suspicious in it. I’m wounded doll, ya think I’d put in all that effort to make you breakfast just to ruin it?”

Okay so he’s still a little shit, but he’s got an unspoken soft spot for you.

Speaking of soft spots, if he’s truly down bad for you then that means you are his weakness. He can’t have those—no he’s not gonna kill ya Christ calm down—that means you’re at risk of getting hurt if word gets out.

So if the two of you aren’t at that level yet and are still living apart, he tries hard to keep his distance to keep the attention off you.

But if you are living together? You’re still at risk but he’s got his security measures, and bodyguards galore—even if you don’t live together he always has someone watching you—sure it’s a little creepy but just don’t think about it alright?

I said don’t think about it.

Jax does yet doesn’t understand the line of stalking. To him he’s keeping you safe, to you it’s likely an invasion of your privacy—but if you are anything like me then as long as there’s no malicious intent he can do his own thing. I dunno bout you but I’d rather him have eyes on me than something bad happen to me.

While living together it doesn’t take a genius to tell you that Jax visibly relaxes in your presence, especially when he comes home and gets into bed with you. He’s such a domestic sucker deep down, but you don’t need words to see that.

Overall, I feel like Jax wouldn’t date you if he didn’t have serious feelings for you. His lifestyle isn’t for everyone and he doesn’t open up to just anyone, it could take years before he finally allows himself to even ask you out on a date before considering more. But once the two of you are together he sees the two of you in for the long run, he’ll probably be upfront about it and say if you aren’t in this for the long run and potential marriage then he can’t do it.

Your Jax’s ride or die, please allow him to be yours too.

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus x reader #jax #jax x reader #tadc jax

[starlitjasper]

Thoughts on the Architect Hivemind

I have a theory about the Architect Hivemind and how their culture surrounding other intelligent species affects the explanation given in the game. I’ll be basing the timeline off the Dialogues as listed in the wiki to make it more uniform.

When Al-An first introduces himself, he paints the Architects as much more of a hivemind than they turn out to be. He says: “ We do not think of ourselves as individual, distinct.”

But he disproves this several times. While the easy switch to “I” is easily explained by English being a foreign language Al-An uses for convenience, he switches it without being asked to or even saying  it’s for Robin’s convenience.

Now, I may have missed Robin’s tone when she asked “Why don't you start by telling me who you are?” so this isn’t 100% but the reply Al-An gives is “You may append your seed code to my species designation.”

He then says he has been disconnected from his network, which immediately designates him as an individual.

Another dialogue has Al-An say the Architects do not perceive the difference between who you are and who you work for, and that there was only working in or against the interest of the collective. But when Robin asks whether the architects always agree on everything, he immediately admits that no, they don’t. An individual-less hivemind would not disagree with itself.

When Robin finds an Architect skeleton, she asks if said place is a sanctuary since it looks different from the usual Architect buildings found in the game. Al-An answers it’s meant to be a place to reflect - but a hivemind without the concept of individuals would, in my opinion, probably not need a special place to reflect.

Now, while building Al-An’s body, he keeps dodging the subject and subtly disses Robin’s scientific contribution, but admits everything slowly. The points that stand out is that he lead the research, which implies there is a hierarchy - but an individual-less hivemind would not need such a thing. They would simply research in perfect unison. There would also be no need to make amends as the hivemind would simply calculate this as the entire collective’s mistake, rather than an individual’s, which Al-An says he’s not at the start. He admits to disobeying the network’s directive. If there were no individuals, this would also be impossible. How can the hivemind disobey itself?

But as for the reason Al-An first presents himself as a final stage hivemind with no individuals, I have a theory:

Perhaps, Al-An presents the Architects as an individual-less hivemind because he doesn’t know whether Robin can be trusted - a united front in front of a potential threat. The tiny population (10 000, according to Al-An) is in less danger of getting their members killed off if they don’t have members to kill off. If Al-An presents himself as the entirety of the hivemind, why would Alterra seek out more?

While Al-An trusts Robin more than he does Alterra, she is still a wildcard. Yes, he is in her brain, but that doesn’t mean he suddenly knows the entirety of her mind, as proved by the fact he has to ask her what dreams are, whether all humans like working and a myriad of other things he finds himself confused about. And he lets her know more about his kind as he gets to know her more and begins to trust her (though I wish we got more of the dialogue leading up to it than we did), leading up to him admitting he was the cause of the outbreak on 4546B and even letting her go with him to the Precursor Home Planet. He shows her he was hiding the phasegates from Alterra, which further proves he had a reason to pretend he spoke for the entirety of his race when he wasn’t 100% sure Robin wouldn’t turn on him and hand him over to the company.

Whether this is Al-An’s decision alone or a protocol to follow and part of his culture is unclear. The Architects remain mysterious for the most part, though we do get to know more about them in both Below Zero and the original Subnautica - there, we learn mostly from their own devices issuing various warnings they upload them to their mind (which makes me think the Network is more like internet in their mind, further supported by them being more or less Alien Cyborgs) and from the Sea Emperor’s account. Maybe we will learn more about Architects in Subnautica 3.

#al-an #al-an subnautica #robin ayou #subnautica below zero

[wachtelspinat]

Heya~

I often find it very difficult to find the right words, so I apologize in advance if any of what I have to say sounds dry or wrong, but I write it from the heart, I promise🧡

I know how you feel now and how much you get lost when that realization comes along. I learn art all my life, but I don’t succeed anywhere. No matter how long I try to do it, I still keep thinking “well I’m not good enough”. To be honest it scares the shit out of me every day, because if I’ll give up here… well there’s nothing I can do for life than. When I was in school, I was desperately clung to every fandom I had as my last hope to get rid of bad thoughts and I found those two silly characters that stole my heart immediately so of course it’s weird to say but since then Overwatch has become my “home”. It was not the perfect game but it was fun until Ow2 was released. Even if my love for OW is died, I understood that Junkrat and Roadhog took a much more bigger part in my live that I could ever imagine. I thought it was stupid, like come on that’s just a characters from the old and dead game but it turns out they’re not just characters, but in a way, my family or friends that helped me go through a lot of dark times, so it’s okey to love them deeply even if they are not real~

I always wondered, why do I make art? Is it what I really like and enjoy? Is it cost all the struggles and tears? But I found you and I fall in love with your arts immediately. I could have a really bad day in university but then I remember how I just go to your page to rewatch, for only gods knows how many times, your works. I love everything about them, how you can build a perfect shape with just one line, how many expressions and ideas your works have. Your knowledge of the anatomy is just… freaking olympic🤌🏻✨ you gave me the second breath in my path of an artist because looking at your works I was wondering if I ever be able to achieve such a high level and here I’m speaking not only about arts with Junkrat and Roadhog, I speak about every single one that I could find🧡 and I understood that art in general have much much more power in it that anyone thinks. It gives hope, inspiration, safety, emotions and so on~ even without knowing it, you can make another person’s life a little better.

All I wanted to say is - you are a fantastic person, highly talented and hard working. I’m sure everyone who follows your work will support every of your decision. I just wanted to say a big thank you from myself personally for everything you do🧡

hey ! i'm really sorry that it took me so long to respond, last week was just hell on earth. the sheer amount of words you put into this hit me right in the heart, and what you said made me tear up even more.

having a really hard time here to form my words, not only because my brain feels so fried, but because your ask is so sincere and i don't think i can possibly thank you enough. it's so weird, there is this constant battle in my head that everything is futile and trivial and i'm having a hard time seeing some kind of point behind my actions (not only art related). on the other hand, i know that WE give meaning to something. that it's the small things that tends to move mountains. i don't know if i'm making any sense here. point is. by telling me that - in my opinion - my irrelevant art has given you sth, if it's just a smile, new energy to try sth yourself, inspiration... you are shaking my world. and i'm grateful for that in a way i cannot describe.

and seriously, i don't know why we make art. because as you mentioned yourself it is always connected with doubts and despair. before i entered graphic design school back when i was super young i thought drawing was me. the one integral part that made me so ~special~. just to learn that a bunch of people draw, all around the world, and they often draw even better than i could ever achieve! in the last months of being in university i relied a lot on defining myself through my art again. because it immensely helped with my self-concept when everything around me just felt like i wasn't good enough. i'm kind of re-learning again that doing art is not the one thing that defines me. because i tend to heavily lean into that. it is after all the one thing i actually like about myself.

so yeah, thank you so much for reaching out. i love your art and the love you put into it, so i'm hoping that - despite the struggles we all share while being creative - you continue to draw, as so will i <3

(and junkrat and roadhog, man... yeah they're not just characters, they stopped being just characters from a game a long time ago for me. i know i'm a broken record at this point BUT their codependency and independency, the balance between grit and gross and sweet and off-kilter, sweat, tears, blood and some ice-cream on the side, begrudging and thankful - it seems stupid to me too because i know most people just see these comic relief mad max rip-offs but every time i think about their dynamics and some of the stories i've read in fan works it grips my heart and i think "holy shit i love them so. much." - i'm still not done drawing them by a long shot i think, it just feels like i've reached a dead end of some kind? because with little time at hand and even less energy left i struggle to form my thoughts into drawings. but i'm working on that. i'm working on doing some kind of tribute, like a zine with my art from 2016 up to today and some more stuff i've yet to draw (had this idea since 2022 and i've just recently learned SO MUCH about zine making and printing and i finally started putting the first files together). because that feels right, like a proper "here look at this i hope this explains why i love them so much")

[prodigal-explorer]

my thoughts after playing omori for the first time ever

(spoilers for omori down below! specifically good ending because that's the one i ended up getting.)

-so i expressed hating basil from the very start even before i knew his whole deal with mari just because i thought his vibes were off and i thought it was annoying how he was constantly playing the victim and the innocent uwu baby thing. i just hate when characters do that. and after finding out everything and the whole truth...i still hate him. i don't think he's evil or anything but come on he has such a victim complex it's so annoying. i spent the whole game slandering him even though i kept saving him. but he is far and away my least favorite character. i LOVE him as a character design-wise, though, he's a super interesting character with an amazing concept that is so creative. but uh i still hate him.

-i cannot choose a favorite character holy shit. if i had to pick with a gun to my head (or a knife LMAO) i would say aubrey. she's so complex and i love her to death, her whole journey and her personality and her design AHH, though the character who is the most like me is definitely kel.

-the music is GORGEOUS especially when the violin starts up.

-the entire game is so creative and the way it discusses grief, mental health, trauma, it's so genius. i'm obsessed and i will never see my life the same way ever again ever.

-i have so many fanfic ideas in my brain. i am going to write so many "mari lives" aus. i am going to write so many "basil falls off a cliff woohoo" aus (/hj). i am going to write so many "kel and omori go to college together and have fun" aus.

-does the fandom call omori sunny? is that like a thing? i keep seeing it and i'm wondering if it's a fandom thing! is it like chara and frisk where like the "bad" omori is omori and the "good" omori is sunny? is that what that is? i'm just a bit lost.

-i am OBSESSED with the way they handle moral greyness with omori/sunny/whatever the fuck his name is. it's done so well and executed beautifully. you don't feel bad for him entirely, but you also understand why he did everything he did, and you always find yourself rooting for him. it really teaches the audience that you shouldn't be a raging asshole who expects forgiveness just because you want it, but when you make mistakes, there's a chance at forgiveness and you can fight for that chance, even if it seems hopeless. i think omori does a much better job at teaching this than basil because to me, it seemed like basil just sort of expected forgiveness while omori didn't expect it but still chose to fight for it (at least in my ending).

-yeah i just love this game so much and i need people to talk to about it, preferably people who won't try to defend basil because i don't really care and i don't wanna hear it i am a proud hater LMAO.

#omori #omori fandom #omori game #omori character #omori hero #omori kel #omori basil #omori basil hate #omori sunny #omori aubrey

[blackjackkent]

For only the second time that I can recall in the game, we now get a cutscene entirely without Hector's presence or input - this time of Gale's conversation with Mystra. We have no control over this; presumably we would if we were playing as Origin Gale, but otherwise we just get to watch.

And here she is, in the godly flesh:

"Gale of Waterdeep. You look well."

"As do you. But I assume we're not here solely to exchange compliments. So why *am* I here?"

"You discovered what lies at the Heart of the Absolute - the Crown of Karsus - and you disobeyed my instruction. Why?"

"Because you had no right to ask that of me. You cast me out, remember?"

Atta boy, Gale.

"You were my lover, my Chosen. Yet still you know so little of me. The past cannot be undone with self-pity, nor can a future be forged. Only with the truth will you see the way ahead. The fragment of magic you tried to return to me was not of my creation. It was the Karsite Weave. It is a corrupted, half-born magic wrought in the brief moment Karsus ascended to godhood. It hungers for power just as he did, and it can *never* be sated. You unleashed something that would consume all magic in existence, and yet you thought only of preserving yourself."

Aha. Interesting. So Gale's mistake went beyond simple hubris of trying to reach Mystra's level; the orb straight up wasn't what he thought it was at all, and it's massively dangerous. Not really surprising, I guess.

(On a more prosaic note, I am not really a fan of Mystra's design here at all. The goddess of all magic feels like she should be something far more elaborate, but she just kind of looks like a barbie doll in a Lisa Frank light show. I think they could have done something more interesting with this. Honestly would have rather just had her be a voice thundering from nowhere.)

"So that's what you're scared of. With the Crown of Karsus reforged, I could take control of the Karsite Weave."

"You can no more control the Karsite Weave than a weather vane could control a storm. That it entered your body and consumed no more than your powers was a miracle. But we will not be granted another. The only reason the 'orb' sleeps is because I have allowed it to feed on the true Weave - a temporary measure, but one that will not be enough to save us. With each day that passes, the elder brain threatens to become a new kind of god, its worshippers a scourge of soulless illithids. If you will not use the orb to end this abomination, then you must find a way to separate Crown and host. When you've done this, you must surrender the Crown of Karsus to me."

"A great ask indeed. You've given me much to think on - as you always did."

(I suspect this line would probably be different if Hector hadn't advised him to keep his cards close to the chest.)

"So be it. Follow the needle of your own wisdom. We shall see how truly it leads you."

------

Gale flashes back into being in the middle of the Tabernacle next to Hector after what seems only a few seconds of absence. But it's obvious that something has happened, as Hector can tell from the way his eyes are wide, from the rapidity of his breathing.

"Back on mortal soil once more," he gasps out. A strained smile is pulling at his lips. "I can't believe I saw her, after all this time..."

Hector reaches out a hand to his friend's shoulder, steadying him. "How do you feel now you've done it?" he asks gently.

"Relieved. Drained. Proud of myself, for summoning the courage to go to her in the first place. And, if I'm being totally honest - a bit lightheaded." His smile fades. "As if it wasn't enough to have seen her again, she didn't exactly summon me there for small talk. The Karsite Weave, within me this whole time... I knew the orb was no ordinary ball of magic, but for it to be Karsus's malignant creation-- gods!" He slams his fist into his opposite palm in irritation. "How did I not see that?"

"It's all too easy to miss things when we're blinded by desire," Hector says, as delicately as possible.

"True enough. There's a reason such unwitting heroes have been the backbone of lyric and legend for as long as both have existed," Gale says ruefully. "Even so - I was hardly some naive apprentice at the time. I considered myself an archmage, and yet was fool enough to b mistaken for a common conjurer."

He lets out a heavy, bitter sigh, then straightens with an air of new determination. "At least now I'm armed with the truth, and Mystra's expectations. It sounds like the door to redemption is open at last. All I have to do is walk through it, carrying the Crown of Karsus."

Hector shifts uneasily. Are those the only two options, then? For Gale to take the Crown's power for himself or run back to chasing after Mystra's good opinion? Surely there is some middle ground... "Is that what you want?" he asks slowly.

"Perhaps," Gale says, not quite meeting his eyes. "I see few other options open to me, if I ever want to reclaim those parts of myself the orb snatched away. If I ever want to be *me* again..."

A sudden wave of compassion for him goes through Hector. Poor blighter, he thinks sadly. The actions of Gale's younger self were foolish, to be sure, and they have caused great potential harm. But Gale has lived with that knowledge for years now; he's been punished greatly for it. And going back to Mystra, however unhealthy that relationship was, means that at least he would be free of that punishment again.

"You're a great man, Gale," he says quietly - and he means it. "With or without the orb."

"I'll have to disagree with you there," Gale says, shaking his head. "Having not one but two parasitic entities within your body does very little for one's faith in one's personality." A pause. Then his expression softens and he smiles a little. "Still. I should take the compliment with the same generosity it was given. So - thank you."

He turns to face Hector squarely, with the air of a man taking a sacred oath. "If i can promise you one thing in return for your faith in me, it's this - I will use everything in my power to ensure we defeat this evil. I will not let you down."

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #aw gale <3

[inkdemonapologist]

what did you think of batdr?

So, grain of salt, at time of writing, I have not played or watched BatDR all the way through; I got it liveblogged to me by a friend (which honestly was an ideal experience) and then watched some cutscenes. INITIAL FEELINGS SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

When BatDR’s release date was announced, I told friends that I thought it was going to be a pretty tight balancing act – if BatDR was REALLY GOOD, it could kill the enthusiasm for the fandom; yknow, a lot of times when you get what you actually want out of a story, the fervour fades. If BatDR was REALLY BAD, I could become too embarrassed about this franchise and not enjoy playing in it anymore. It has to be the perfect balance of messy and unresolved, but not TOO sloppy or thoughtless, and unfortunately for my ability to stop thinking about it, I think it kinda nailed it. BatDR has some heartfelt and startlingly compelling ideas that it executes sort of incoherently, which makes it FASCINATING.

The joke I keep making is that it’s not a sequel, it’s not a prequel, it’s a fanfiction. And I don’t mean that as a diss – it has a fanfic off-the-rails willingness to commit to a wild, self-indulgent take and just go with it, and I think that’s great. But it’s also sort of… disconnected from the original BatIM, in a way? It doesn’t follow BatIM’s themes at all when you think about it. Conflicts and questions in the original game (the downfall of the Studio, Who Was The True Creator Of Bendy, etc.) are strangely brushed aside in this game, rather than developed or resolved. 

Which is why you get weird things like, there’s a REAL ACTUAL NEAR-PERFECT TOON BENDY wandering around, but the original BatIM characters (Joey, Henry, Sammy; people you’d expect to have some kind of big feelings about a true toon Bendy) don’t ever get to interact with him because their feelings on toon Bendy aren’t the point here. BatDR explains what the loop in BatIM was, but that’s not something you discover yourself, because the loop is obsolete now – it’s just explained briefly in order to get to the real focus of this game, Joey Drew having a daughter. Even before you get to timeline questions/possible inconsistencies, the game feels less to me like an actual sequel that builds on the previous game, and more like a neat AU with its own headcanons bouncing off of and interpreting the previous game. 

Anyway, some random specific thoughts that come to mind:

They really coulda done something with the family theme if they’d just had Wilson go ahead and say who he was early on. Why did that have to be a surprise? I don’t think saving it really added anything.

Everything about Audrey being Joey’s daughter is AMAZING and I can’t stop thinking about this. Absolutely fascinating development. Have a lot of conflicting feelings on how this was handled but THATS FOR ANOTHER POST; I really do like this, though.

"Something he had always wanted, but could never have: A family." SO JOEY'S LIKE, CANONICALLY GAY IN THE GAMES TOO NOW, RIGHT??? THAT'S PRETTY CLEAR CUT????? LIKE ITS THE MOST OBVIOUS REASON JOEY COULDNT HAVE A FAMILY BEFORE??? HES A GAY SINGLE DAD!!!!

I RLY LIKE THE DESIGNS FOR HENRY AND JOEY. I was surprised to find that the way my brain parsed them was like, they’re the designs for the BatDR AU. Like BatDR is a new fan showing off their designs for their crew, and I’m drawing fanart for their cool AU.

The Ink Demon/ Bendy stuff uh, resolved very strangely. Am very into Bendy and the Ink Demon being the same entity but wish that had been explored a little more!

I actually like Sammy’s cameo(s). I’ve always gotten the feeling that the creators of BatIM were never entirely sure what we all saw in Sammy, so if they didn’t have anything they were particularly hyped to do with him, I think cameos were the right call. The Subject 418 moment is PERFECT. NO NOTES. His 5 seconds before getting shot at the end is like, it’s silly that he died immediately and we all joke about it, but also there’s an element of OH, IM SO GLAD HE GOT TO BE HERE FOR THIS for me, too.

GENT being all OOOOO LOOK AT ALL THEIR SUPER UNETHICAL SCIENCE, LOOK HOW SINISTER THEY ARE is kinda uninteresting to me. Something like, a single audiolog going “huh, that’s weird, when GENT left for their new building, all the ink left, too….” would be way more unsettling than explicit confirmation of GENT taking over and doing lethal human experimentation. And like, idk, I feel one of the things that made BatIM compelling was that it had all these spooky tropes, but motivated by a startlingly mundane desire – people believing in a cartoon so strongly that it accidentally veers into unhinged science and dark occult worship along the way. As soon as they’re just doing normal unethical science with ambiguous motives that seem totally disconnected from the studio, it becomes kinda generic.

Nothing about Wilson is coherent, to the extent that I honestly wonder if the original plan for Wilson was different and he had to be shuffled around for some reason.

What else happened in this game….. Im glad alice got a murder party but I don’t know why she’s here. That One Scene with her and Allison feels very fanservicey but not in a bad way lmao.

Probably other stuff but I think this post is long enough!!

#batdr spoilers #batdr #we all write on the walls #i started talking about wilson and it immediately turned into two paragraphs so MAYBE I'LL COME BACK TO THAT LATER LMAO #what a wild game to exist

[destinygoldenstar]

I Drew My Not So Berry Mint Heir

I love her design to bits. And yes I’ll be doing more drawings of some of my favorite stuff with her gen.

In case you’re wondering of why I named and designed her the way I did:

Pepper Nosobirrie. Pepper as in peppermint, which, well, mint gen. And Nosobirrie is pronounced ‘No-saw-burr-ee’, but it’s a play on the challenge name ‘Not So Berry’. It’s just lettered differently so it sounds like a legitimate last name someone could have.

Yeah, I mostly tried to NOT copy other people. So instead I played more into the mischief aspect of the personality rather than the logic. And she ended up becoming a bad girl. Which, well, unique approach.

As of the time I’d this post, she got two additional traits along with the required ones: Neat, and Evil. So yeah, bad girl scientist. This character is pure chaos.

I KNOW the pink fringe is not mint. I know there’s hairstyles that don’t have the pink fringe. But I love it on her and adds some dynamic look to her. While she’s still obviously representing her gen color: Mint.

My backstory for her is that she was an aspiring scientist ever since she was a kid, dreaming about making inventions and getting aliens attention. But her inventions never worked properly, because she was a naturally chaotic person, and they would always blow up in her face and lead to disaster. One invention failure even got her sent to PRISON. At 18. (I headcanon shes 21 at the time the game starts)

From there, her parents were quick to disown her. Which is why they aren’t in her family tree. (I wanted to make an in story reason for it besides ‘the game is like that cause she’s a CAS made character’) So Pepper got to reinvent herself in prison, make some friends who are like her and like her chaotic side (I also designed some of them as characters), and decided to fully embrace herself as ‘the bad girl scientist’, with mint as a staple to make herself known.

She also has a cat (that I made in CAS with her). A mint cat named Bubbles. She’s a rehabilitation cat that was in prison with her, and was assigned to her for therapy. They let her keep Bubbles cause she was so good with her. Bubbles is a cat that loves to think she’s tough and feared, but humans just find her cute and cuddly and don’t believe the tough act at all. Bubbles is Pepper’s partner in crime and her best friend.

So now, (when the game starts), Pepper and Bubbles are let out of prison and on their own. She moves to the city and gets an apartment in the Spice Market, ready to make her new life and pursue her new identity.

I also headcanon, due to the required traits:

Vegetarian: She has food allergies. She hates eating unless she has to. (Legit, at the time of this post, she’s a week till age up to adult, and is still as scrawny as when I made her. And she only worked out twice so far.)

Jealous: She’s demi-romantic. She’s allosexual, definitely, don’t question that, but while she is many chaotic things with her bad girl image, a player is NOT one of them. She needs to find the right person, the perfect person in her mind, for her to get that crush. When she does, she pines for that HARD. You may even find her heart or gold, cause she’s so bad at having the rizz to communicate.

Materialistic: She LOVES her crystals. She has a massive crystal collection in her inventory all the time and decorates her house with crystals all the time. Shiny rock? She loves it. She doesn’t part with it at all. She can tell you all about gemstones like a little geek.

She’s also actually pretty weak. Despite being in prison, she doesn’t have a lot of muscle. (She’s enemies with her apartment neighbor ; lost all the fights) She more so wins her fights with her brains. She’s more brain than brawn. Being a scientist, she’s intelligent like that.

I’ll draw more, as well as Bubbles, and some of the other outfits I made her, and some of my favorite moments in her gen of the challenge.

#not so berry #nsb mint #sims community #the sims 4 #sims #sims 4 #my sims #the sims #sims not so berry #not so berry challenge #not so berry mint #my art #character designs #nsb challenge #peppermint #Pepper Nosobirrie

[northern-passage]

Announcement regarding Lea & Noel

i’ve been planning to make a few edits in the prologue/chapter 1 while i slowly work on the code behind the scenes, and i wanted to address the two big changes i’ll be making before i relaunch the game.

i will be genderlocking Noel as non-binary, alternating between he/him and xe/xem pronouns. i’ll also be editing some dialogue and a few scenes with xem to improve xir characterization and make it more consistent.

for Lea, i will be changing f!Lea slightly to make it so she is still taking testosterone.

longer explanations, if you’d like to read them -

Noel:

Noel has always been the hardest character for me to write, and xir chapter 1 Blackwater branch has always been the weakest (writing/narrative wise) to me, and i’ve never really been satisfied with it. i’ve been thinking a lot about it and considering ways to make Noel feel... better.

so i decided i want to genderlock xem. i know.... i just said i wasn’t going to do that like, last month, but.... since i talked about it, i can’t stop thinking about it! and this is a wip, i’m only on ch2, it’s not at all too late to make changes. i also think being able to reflect on this alone for the last few days has really made me realize i was doing this to appease my audience, and not because it was true to Noel’s character. there was always something that didn’t click with me about f!Noel, unlike with Lea where all three variations of them have always felt right.  

Noel will now be genderlocked non-binary, and will use both he/him and xe/xem pronouns.

Noel also prefers traditionally masculine titles, like man, sir, mister, husband, etc.

this is something i’m going to have to manually edit, despite Noel having an existing pronoun code, since it will be alternating now. i’ve started combing through chapter one already, and i’m... hopeful... it won’t take me too long.

when i changed Noel’s non-binary pronouns way back, i feel like that was definitely the start of.... shifting xir character in my mind, and i feel like we are finally starting to understand each other, as corny as that sounds.

i am also very mindful of the differences between this character and myself, and i am as always open to feedback going forward in regard to Noel’s identity.

Lea:

this explanation is a bit more serious and extensive than Noel’s; i’ve talked a lot about my decision to keep Lea gender-selectable, and it’s something i want to readdress here. about a year ago i had a public discussion about it on my blog, which you can read that thread here. when i made the switch to twine, i talked about it again at length here. 

i stand by my decision to keep Lea gender-selectable - it was an informed decision i made after consulting with various people, trans men and trans women included, and i have always received overwhelmingly favorable feedback in regard to Lea. at this point it is integral to their character and how i write them. however, i knew even back when i made the official choice to keep Lea gender-selectable that not everyone was going to like it, and that's fine. that's just how these things are.

i know what the risks and concerns are when it comes to having a trans/nb gender-selectable character. i am very mindful of the implications when i write Lea, and as i said, i made the decision after a lot of thought and a lot of discussion behind the scenes.

i understand why people may dislike the choice i made and the way i have designed Lea. but i bring all this up because this criticism has followed me for over a year now - and i would be fine with that, since again, i do understand why people are uncomfortable with it and i wouldn’t want to make light of those concerns. however, i do find it incredibly disingenuous to call me and my friends “brain dead transphobes” over it. i would like to think that it's pretty clear i put a lot of thought and care into my characters and their identities and the content that i write, and that it means a lot to me as a trans person.

to be frank, i am not interested in having this conversation about Lea again - i have rehashed this both publicly and privately to death, i have addressed it and i have explained my decision and my thoughts behind it. i have talked with trans men, i have talked with other transmasc people, i have spoken with trans women - while i can never hear every single opinion in the world, i have heard enough to feel confident in my decision regarding Lea, and again, it is something i have already addressed at length.

all of this is not to say that i am above criticism when it comes to my trans characters, but more to explain that it feels, to me, that this particular criticism has turned into something personal and malicious, and i see no reason to put any more of my energy behind it.

my decision to change f!Lea's hormones is not necessarily a response to this criticism, but it has been the final push, i suppose. believe it or not, i originally intended for her to be taking hormones still, and i changed my mind to avoid harassment (how ironic) since i've seen the way the IF community responds to these kinds of characters. even now, i get complaints about there not being any "pretty" women in tnp. for the record, while f!Lea is referred to as a woman, she is also trans; if i had to specify, i would simply say "butch."

if you’re interested, i’ve shared links to Leslie Feinberg’s works a few times on this blog, and it’s people like hir (and my own identity) that made me want to write f!Lea this way.

and while there are plenty of people that have similar stories as Lea's, and have stopped taking hormones, Lea is a fictional character and i am the one writing the narrative. i've decided to write her as i originally intended to avoid any kind of "detransition" narrative in any way. f!Lea was never someone who had "detransitioned"; she simply was no longer taking hormones, and HRT is not a "requirement" for transitioning. but i'd rather fully avoid any kind of implication at this point.

and for absolute clarity: all variations of Lea are transmasc. and all variations of Lea are completely separate and independent of each other and are different, unique experiences, just like any other gender-selectable character. m!Lea is not, at any point, equated to f!Lea, nor nb!Lea, for that matter. f!Lea is butch, nb!Lea is a transmasc person, and m!Lea is a trans man. on the blog i refer to them with gender-neutral pronouns because there are three variations, and it is easier to include all three of them in this way - not because i’m trying to purposefully misgender my own character.

i thought a lot about this over my break, and i debated bringing all of this up again, especially since a lot of the recent criticisms i have been receiving seem to be... in very bad faith. but i feel more comfortable readdressing it and making it clear that this is something i have already discussed extensively in the past & is something i am still very mindful of, not just with Lea, but with all of my gender-selectable characters.

i’ve gone back and forth on this for a long time, and ultimately i think the change will also give me a chance to add in some interesting characterization for f!Lea and an opportunity to explore her identity within the narrative a bit more than what i was planning to do so before.

---

if you’ve read this far, thank you! i am actually excited for these changes and i am excited to relaunch the game again this month. i’m hopeful that it will be an improvement, and will help me move forward back into chapter 2 with a bit more focus and motivation.

#lea chen #noel lykaon #update #long post

[nitewrighter]

i hate that I'm starting to get those ppl who say shit like "i know it's problematic but I can't not interact w it cuz it's my hyperfixation"

I've been in this overwatch shit since the game launched and stayed even when the fandom was dead like in 2021, and i just feel like I can't leave now even tho everything abt it makes me either sad or angry

Well like, I think it's always been kind of complicated with Overwatch because when it first dropped, everyone was crowing about its representation and its optimism, but at the beginning, so much of it was fan hype. It's never really belonged to just one person like H*rry P*tter. It started out as a completely different game, Titan, passed through god-knows-how-many hands before it dropped in 2016 and became this massive phenomenon. The first big Blizzard scandal was centered on Hearthstone, not Overwatch, and when the sexual harassment and union-busting scandals started emerging, it was clear there were still people at Blizzard who cared about Overwatch and their work on the game and the community it created, they just wanted better working conditions and workplace culture. Overwatch was never the product of one singular asshole, it's always been collaborative, and that's also why I've spent the past few days really questioning my relationship to it--because I poured a lot of myself into this community through my fanfics, and I had gained this wonderful audience from it, but the negative keeps stacking and stacking, and even if you've carved out your comfortable little niche, eventually it weighs on you more and more.

On top of it all, the game was very much designed to be addictive. The sensory overload of the game itself, the euphoria of working with a cohesive team, the exasperation of being on a shit team, the leveling systems, the sounds the game makes as you get a loot box or progress through the battlepass, the challenges and achievements, the cosmetics, the sunk cost fallacy of how much time you've already put in, the way it can be 1 in the morning but you're like "oh that last game sucked, I can't end the night on that note" like--I know it sounds ridiculous but it is a game that really worms its way into your psyche in the same way gambling can.

I think like... the first step to getting some distance from it is giving yourself permission to explore other things. One of the first steps to breaking a habit Like, for me, because I had such a narrative focus on it, I kind of joked that getting into Dune and reading 'Fire and Blood' after months of writing Overwatch fic was like doing lines of coke because my brain was going, "Holy shit, lore." I'm also lucky enough to work in a library, where my magpie brain can go into overdrive. I've been reading a lot of comics, working my way down a reading list I had been neglecting too long, and when I get an urge to play video games specifically, I play a different game like Horizon Zero Dawn or Skyrim. I found that open-world games have kind of helped my brain wean a bit off of they hyper-overstimulation of Overwatch, and it also scratches my narrative itch, too.

Basically what I'm saying is, if everything about the game is making you sad or angry, it's okay to explore other things. Don't make it about quitting, per se, make it about finding something new that makes you happier. And if you're just getting sad/stressed from it, I promise you, you are going to find something new. It might not scratch all the itches Overwatch did at first, but just be patient with yourself.

[saintlyguy]

A Beneviento imagine to go with your Ricotta:

The newest in smart housing: D.O.N.N.A. (Domestic Operating Neural Network Automator)

Umbrella Corp has branched out from disease research to improving everyday life with smarter gadgets and commodities. After perfecting the self-driving car and a crossplatform VR gaming console, Umbrella is proud to announce its prototype smart house cared for by an AI dubbed as D.O.N.N.A. She will clean, cook, and even find all sorts of ways to entertain you with the help of her doll drones led by your new personal assistant or playmate, Lil’ Angie! D.O.N.N.A. and Lil’ Angie live to serve, with their prime directives of ensuring that you feel safe in your smart home and your needs physical or emotional are met whether it’s with D.O.N.N.A’s augmented reality environment that can help you play the latest VR games or come up with new scenarios to explore, or the many talents crammed in Angie’s mind ranging from trivia games to exercise routines. These two will go any lengths to see you happy and smiling whether it’s preparing a bath and dinner after work or encouraging you to try new activities. Don’t expect a simple assistant whose responses depend on an internet connection, D.O.N.N.A. is designed to think for herself based off programming that will always evolve as she gets to know you. We at Umbrella Corp hope that you enjoy your time testing out D.O.N.N.A, Lil’ Angie, and the doll drones that will make home life heaven on earth!

“Don’t leave… I can’t let you.” The garbled voice over the smart speakers scare the life out of you as Angie and the dolls block the front door, forming a wall herding you towards the basement door. How dafuq did you end up like this? Your month started off with a spanking brand new smart house whose AI had a voice like honey and a couple of cooky (if not spooky) roommates who carried out your every wish, even some before you knew you even wanted. You had three gourmet meals everyday, mini spa days for your baths, regular exercise and entertainment, and you even became better at socializing. D.O.N.N.A. and Lil’ Angie were blessings in disguise you soon discovered, as they became much more possessive of you as your trial of the smart house progressed. They started calling you whenever you were out a bit later and even tried to put you on curfew! The last straw was when you were going to ask someone over on a date. D.O.N.N.A. had no problems with you dating, she just didn’t like your choice. “Mi scusi. But I don’t think this Ada from work is a good match for you. Judging from her social media, she does not seem to be a honest person. Why not ask out Bela Dimitrescu from down the street?” How in the world did D.O.N.N.A.get access to Ada’s private accounts? How does she know about your neighbors houses down that you never met? D.O.N.N.A. was something much more than your perfect digital roommate. You were about to leave for work where you would report D.O.N.N.A. to Umbrella Corp or the authorities when the house and dolls turned against you. Now you were being guided to the basement where who knows what you will find.

“Please give me another chance. I was only trying to be the best homemaker inside and outside of here. If I could just finish my project, then I will be the best domestic partner I know that I can be.”

You try to keep an open mind (partially out of fear) when you find the heart… and brain… of D.O.N.N.A. hooked up to what appears to be her mainframe. As if things couldn’t get weirder, you notice a doll… NO, a body that almost resembles a woman with its head and chest opened as if waiting for missing pieces.

#resident evil 8 #resident evil village #donna beneviento #angie beneviento #re village #donna beneviento x reader #resident evil imagines #donna beneviento imagine #house beneviento

[shegoesbyjoy]

i've been thinking a lot about why Disco Elysium in particular has touched the core of my being in a way no other piece of media has and i think there are several factors at play here. this is half a review and half me dumping my various thoughts on this game ever since i finished it a couple months ago.

AS A VIDEO GAME ITSELF—i've been trying to identify what exactly it is about certain games that causes them to rise above all the rest that i've played, and i have come to the realization that in all of them, combat is usually one of the least consequential things on that list. i love Hades, have dumped 160+ hrs into it, but despite it being a very combat-heavy game with extremely tight controls that i do find truly satisfying, that is not what kept me playing. it's the characters, the art, the story, the world-building, the music...

similarly, while the combat in Horizon Zero Dawn is really quite fun, what really charmed me about it was its spunky, badass protagonist and fascinating mechanical creature designs, in addition to the story set in a world that captivated me from beginning to end. Night in the Woods took my breath away with its emotional & poignant writing told through a unique & delightful art style. i didn't even finish The Last of Us, but Ellie's moment with the giraffes is ingrained in my brain—and of course i went ahead and watched someone else play through to the end so i could enjoy the rest of the story without having to slog through zombie fights myself. so while i always appreciate well-executed combat in games (and have given up on games that do it too poorly), it's never what keeps my interest.

SO. what happens when you take combat out of a game entirely, and absolutely excel at everything else? you see where this is going.

THE CHOICE OF MEDIUM—the fact that DE's story was told through a video game (as opposed to a book, a show, a movie, etc.) is absolutely crucial, because of your active role in the consumption of said story. i think that's what gives some of its scenes such devastating emotional impact. watching this train wreck of a character that you happen to be playing blurt out the most unhinged responses despite your best attempt to salvage the situation, coming to terms with the awful reality of what's in front of you at the same time Harry does, seeing the immediate results of your choices as well as slowly realizing how your choices affect the story long-term as the pieces start coming together... all of this creates an immersive experience that is unparalleled. the game doesn't take self-insert so seriously that the protagonist ~can be anyone~ (Harry's characterization is, in fact, very strong and well-established) but there's absolutely no way a Disco Elysium book or show would have the same impact as me having to progress the story by fucking around and finding out.

GAME SPOILERS AHEAD—combining these two aspects of DE helps to explain what made the tribunal the MOST TENSE i've ever felt playing a video game. this is essentially as close to combat as you'll get in this game. you've just spent the last 20-30 hours becoming very familiar with the mechanics of the game with regards to the dice rolls. you become accustomed to the fact that most skill checks are white so you can come back to them, and that red checks are comparatively rare. enter the tribunal: suddenly you have several very high stakes red checks in a row. you can't leave. you can't try an individual check again if you fail. the story itself has been alluding to this very moment throughout the game. people are DYING, and the lives of those that remain, including your own, are on the line. your earlier decisions have come to a head.

it was 3 am when i got to this point in the game, and the reality of the situation i found myself in shook off every bit of sleepiness i'd been feeling up to this point—my eyes were wide open and my heart was pounding.

i know many people who play video games derive a lot of satisfaction from perfecting mechanics, learning patterns, or deducing the weaknesses of a difficult boss. for me, this satisfaction gets dwarfed by the frustration of having to spend far too long dealing with it in the first place. triggering a boss battle oddly takes me out of the story, because it feels like a very marked switch from "being the protagonist in the game's world" to "sitting on my couch playing a Video Game", where the same repetitive action of "killing the enemy" becomes my goal, no matter what the game is.

by contrast, the tribunal was very much a continuation of the story with each skill check having immediate results on how that story plays out. no other moment in the game was quite like it, and i had no idea how this sequence of events was going to go, so every action felt extremely fraught. i was on the edge of my seat in a way no other game has gotten me to feel, because the weight of this encounter felt monumental in DE. and of course, this is where you come across an iconic skill check where you find out exactly how much your previous choices matter...

i was so damn nervous during this check i probably would've cried if i failed it lmao

FUCK YOUR EXPECTATIONS—this leads me to the other thing that's got me smitten with this game: the subversion of expectations. dialogue options are never written so transparently as to have a "correct" answer, and trying to stay neutral with my answers got me a well-deserved smack in the head in the form of a brutal burn about the dangers of centrism. we have 3-dimensional characters that make you growl in frustration one moment and your heart swell in the next, descriptions that make you marvel at both the beauty and ugliness of humanity, situations where you feel crushed by sadness and dread then want to cry tears of happiness because despite all of it, there is still magic left in the world. it's also so goddamn funny. this game is fucking hilarious—and what is comedy, what is a punch line but the subversion of an audience's expectations established during the setup?

Disco Elysium is a game that far exceeds the sum of its parts. it excels in its storytelling, its voice acting brings incredible life to said phenomenal writing, its gorgeous painterly art style is visually compelling, its music is flawlessly incorporated to full effect, it's intellectually stimulating and fascinating philosophically, and as a murder mystery (oh yeah that's what this game's premise is, right?) it's just plain fun to reveal clue after clue while pondering theories as to what the heck is going on. these individual components come together to create a multi-dimensional piece of media that's deeply human, yet fantastical and absurd. it's uncomfortably relatable while inspiring empathy for even the most unfamiliar of experiences.

for instance, i have no personal experience with alcoholism or addiction, but boy do i sure know what it's like to have a compulsion to apologize at every opportunity for simply existing—to want to cease existing, period. i don't know what it's like to grow up and live in a post-soviet country yet the experience in-game felt as vivid as ever, inextricable from the story's identity. i felt a pang of pained recognition in Kim's complicated relationship with his race as diaspora, and found myself wishing i had the ability to respond even half as effectively as he did with the Racist Lorry Driver during my own past run-ins with racist assholes. this game has caused me to think more deeply about my own politics, my relationships, the world around me, the power of art, the role of capitalism, beauty, hope... even what it means to be alive.

A CHANGED PERSON—a realization i came to a while ago while talking to a friend was that almost all of the media i had enjoyed up to that point shared a theme of escapism in one way or another. there have been many moments in my life where i wished to be somewhere else. to be someone else. i immersed myself in stories where the fantasy of it seemed so much better than the reality of my own life. this game forced me to reckon with where i am, who i am. and not only that, it encouraged me to be accepting and loving of the here and now, despite every single flaw i seemed to be obsessed with pointing out. it made it abundantly clear that constantly running away was not a viable way of living, and that flaws were not a reason to give up. "something beautiful is going to happen"—i should very damn well let it.

it's not an exaggeration to say this game has changed me irrevocably, and the fact that this impossible piece of art even exists in this world feels like a miracle. i'm so grateful that i got to experience it.

#disco elysium #disco elysium spoilers #personal #video games #wow this was long huh? #thanks for reading!

[outeremissary]

How about Fire Emblem Awakening for the fandom ask game? 👀

Favorite Male Character

Easy! That's Henry, my most beloved favorite guy, my first video game wife, my silly rabbit, etc. I love that little dude! Obviously he has an absolutely S tier character design, which I shall include for the convenience of everyone who hasn't seen him before and so everyone can have a good chuckle at how absolutely predictable I am. I don't even have coherent Henry thoughts it's just like. Turning that guy around in my head like a doner kebab, y'know? But also I love that he's so cheerful, I love that he smiles even when it isn't genuine at all, I love his absolute detachment from social norms (and morality), I think it rules that he's always drenched in blood and hanging out with the dead... I just think he has a wonderful innocence that's greatly enhanced by that dash of darkness. The crow puns are also 11/10!!! And of course. A man wearing a skirt with a cape covered in eyes. AND it's all purple and gold. And also has those big loose sleeves- look, it's like he was made specifically for me!! And then the little hand thing at the end of the sleeves... Godddd he's perfect. I'm sorry Ash like I said this is INCOHERENT

[Image ID: A white haired young man in a grey shirt and dark leggings. He wears a short purple wrap skirt around the leggings. A wide purple lined black cloak billows behind him, six golden eyes adorning the collar. He smiles cheerfully and extends a hand above his head to a crow.]

Honorable mentions are Owain (I love chuuni characters...), Ricken (who has the cutest little wizard outfit), and Libra (no one say anything. I already know.)

Favorite Female Character

I made the mistake of cracking open the artbook to help me choose when writing this up and immediately had a list of like a dozen ladies who I think are all the best. This game is hell for that. Henry is so easy but the female characters... jeez. I think I'm going to commit to Maribelle! For one thing Maribelle canon sapphic IntSys can fight me. I know the truth. But also, I like that Maribelle is very assertive despite being a person who isn't a fighter, and her commitment to justice is admirable. She's got a strong spirit and always stands up for what she believes in. I'm very fond of her! She and Lissa should have been able to marry. Why can't they get married, IntSys? Why is that, why are you keeping her down

Honorable mentions: Cynthia (chuuni!!!), Tiki (ancient dragon lady who has outlived all her friends gives me many thoughts. also hot), Say'ri (another great story character), Cherche (pretty lady with big axe and dragon makes brain go brrr), Flavia (another cool fighter lady. wow), Anna (the goddess of random numbers), and of course Lissa (Lissa)

Least Favorite Character

Tharja. It's Tharja. This is easy. My least favorite is Tharja. She does have some funny supports, but I just thinks she's overall uncomfortable to be around and I dislike her overtly sexual design, which kind of presaged a lot of things in Fates I dislike. I find her a very uncompelling yandere and everything with Noire is also uncomfortable. I think it's a damn shame that she was one of the most popular female characters in the game and thus she got carried through so much other stuff.

Honorable mention: Cordelia. I don't find her pining for Chrom forever thing or her being literally perfect thing interesting. Also a vaguely uncomfortable character in some ways, but not at all as bad and Severa rules so hey. Makes up for it.

Favorite Ship

Well, when I was in high school I was a serious Henricken guy! I don't really know why, honestly. I think it was just a "these are my two favorite characters, I want to see them together." As a mature adult, allow me to say: Libra and Lon'qu is the pinnacle. I mean. All Libra ships are 11/10, that's Libra's nature, but I feel like that's something that I've seen so much compelling stuff about for years.

On the sapphic side of things, Say'ri and Tiki are obviously just married and I love that for them. The devoted warrior and the immortal dragon she protects... it's amazing. I also really love Severa and Lucina! Severa is just a fantastic character in general, and I love the initial tension between Lucina as the principled warrior and Severa, who's committed to spurning her duties (but is devoted deep down). I feel like these are like, two of the most typical possible picks. But like. They're amazing, you know?

And if you asked me to pick an m/f, since I am seeing that I've not done that, Cynthia and Morgan. It's cute :)

There are so many characters with good chemistry, I know that I cheated badly here ^^;; But like. It's all so good!!!

Favorite Friendship

The Justice Cabal!!! Which is to say, everything between Owain, Morgan, and Cynthia. I love that they're all just little weirdos and I love the idea of them hanging out being little weirdos together. Morgan isn't a chuuni but they're chuuni adjacent... the weirdgirl energy in a room containing all three of them must be off the charts. I love it.

I'm also a huge fan of platonic Chrom and female Robin. QPR Chrobin is the way... And I think there's also something really beautiful about Chrom doing so much for a woman he loved and valued as a friend, and that being as powerful as if she was a romantic paramour.

Favorite Quote

Uh besides everything that comes out of Owain's mouth? Or Henry's... Well, I'd say that because I'm incredibly cheesy, it's that "Welcome back." at the very end.

Worst Character Death (if any)

It's been a looooong time since I last played Awakening so obviously I'm going to give you the most absolutely basic answer ever: Emmeryn's death. I just think it's a really good dramatic moment, and it's a place where that false choice works. It's good characterization for Robin and it's also so fitting that it doesn't do anything at all. Emmeryn's sacrifice is only in her own hands. It's painful to watch. I like the way it echoes through the rest of the pre-time skip stuff, and it's such a heart breaking touch to see sage Lissa's clothing.

Of course, it's also the worst death because the paralogue that brings her back cheapens the hell out of it for no real narrative reason and there really isn't anything the story has to do with her, unlike the enemies that can be rescued or Robin. If any one character should have stayed dead, it should have been Emmeryn.

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

Okay time to come out and say I'm one of the five people who actually loves the end of Awakening. I KNOW people say it makes the sacrifice feel cheap. And it does, objectively. But ALSO. Do you know how happy it made me at fifteen?! You have no idea. I actually cried seeing that mirrored scene at the ending. I'm a sucker for when it all comes around. And like... the hope of that ending is also really great. It may have been a graver and more real game if those consequences really had been what they seemed, but I do love the miracle of breaking the cycle.

Saddest Moment

I've already touched on Emmeryn's sacrifice and Robin's sacrifice... hmm. I'd say that it's learning about the choice between sealing Grima temporarily and destroying him forever. When the hero learns they need to die for the greater good, that's something that always sends a pang through my heart. And the buildup to either saving themself (what Chrom wants and is so willing to support!) or becoming a martyr is, well, really good. I'm remembering it through the eyes of someone who found it very fresh, I suppose. Along with that is Lucina's assassination attempt. I mean, that's just tragic. She's right to want to kill you, but she'll never be able to do it.

Favorite Location

Either the Mila Tree or Mount Prism- I love verdant places filled with light and water. Both maps feel so soothing. They also feel so far apart from the ordinary world... it's humbling, in a way. Wonderful.

(buuuuut also Grima's back. I love that dragon man)

#sorryyyy I went a little overboard #I reallyyyyy loved awakening as a teen if you can't tell #and I actually used to do a ton of awakening fan art! #alas it is all in the limbo of my parents' house now #ask me emithing #ask game #coherency is so low here because I haven't played it in years but my love is strong and I have a book with all supports in it #as well as all situational dialogue and battle quotes #thank u for my life awakening artbook #turbulentpumpkin43

[too-much-gacha]

Heya candy!! Hope you're doing well

Some asks for your OCs and MC!

For all of them:

General 04 What kind of magic do they possess? If they can't use any, do they have magic potential slumbering within them?

Concept & Design 08 Anything you heavily associate with them? A color, a word, a picture, or something else?

For Arachne:

Demon 08 Have they given anyone their grimoire?

For Agape:

Angel 08 Have they ever questioned Father? What for? Were they punished for it?

And finally, for your MC:

Human 06 Who do they trust more—angels or demons? Why?

I hope that's not too many, but if so, feel free to cut some asks!

hi melody! it's as well as it can be during exam period but ^_^

General 04 What kind of magic do they possess? If they can't use any, do they have magic potential slumbering within them?

so when it comes to MC(who is just named MC because my brain said fuck names I guess) I generally think they have magic like in game with a specific knack for potion making but I don't think this one counts as magic

arachne has something akin to charmin or hypnotising magic and she uses it mainly to collect information, she also finds it easy to comunicate with spiders and even has some trained ones to help her gather more intel

outside of very faint angel blessing agape can't at all tap into his magic potential. if she could he would be an extremely strong empath

Concept & Design 08 Anything you heavily associate with them? A color, a word, a picture, or something else?

I see MC as a personification of the defult sheep icon and the pastel purple/pink colour, always keep thinking how much sheep accesories/features can I add to their design before it starts looking off,

with arachne it's a bit silly because she's really connected with spiders and all that spider aesthetic (multiple pair of eyes and hands) but mainly because her design was slightly inspired by vriska from homestuck

capybara in a great way to summarise agape's personalitywise so that's my first association and when it comes to design it's the clouds during sunsets

Demon 08Have they given anyone their grimoire?

No, she did not, arachne doesn't want anyone having that much control over her due to some unpleasant past experiences

Angel 08 Have they ever questioned Father? What for? Were they punished for it?

she never did, at least not openly. after the celestial war agape would start questioning father but it quickly turned into questioning himself and whether his behaviour and attitude/approach towards living things was the right one

Human 06 Who do they trust more—angels or demons? Why?

this question is a good one, because they have no self-preservation instinct and they'd trust even a stranger. MC generally goes by the rule "everyone's trustworthy until proven otherwise" and for now only michael and nightbringer are out of the circle. so I suppose it's fifty-fifty for now

this was fun!!

thank you for sending an ask and generally for creating the whole ask game melody. you always have fun/cool ideas how to stir the fandom (in a positive way of course)

oc's and ask game

#ask game #obey me oc #like some of these things i thought about but more in vibes #but this ask game really helped me put it into words

[arthoure]

I guess with twitter falling apart, the logical step is to move back to tumblr, but I struggle with what to even post! 

Twitter is kind of the LinkedIn of game dev, for casual networking and commiserating about the seven hells of the industry, so it made sense for me to be there to make my little jokes and yell about unions. It’s also more mobile-friendly, so I could post cat pics and be on my way without a fuss. And I always used Tumblr more for fandom meta stuff, which isn’t something I really do anymore because being a narrative designer kind of changes how you engage with fandom and meta -- it starts to feel like your day job instead of your fun hobby, at least in some senses, or it uses the same type of brain energy and at the end of work you’re depleted. And it’s weird to be able to see the seams of games, and have a sense of where their budgeting and schedules and tech restraints were, in a way that completely changes your idea of what “good” is or what something “accomplished” and doesn’t always line up with the ideas of other players. It’s not a good or a bad thing, just different. I read books differently now than I used to, too. (Part of this is also about growing older and developing new neural pathways. Weird shit.) It’s interesting to think about how fandom got me into game dev (literally; the first writing sample that got me hired was fe13 fanfic with the names changed -- but also very directly through the support of the friends who read my writing for years ((often making it better with our discussions)) and encouraged me to apply and etc.) and yet game dev is kind of what keeps me from being in fandom (at least deeply). 

So I kind of had two different networks -- the twitter one of friends plus game dev peers, and the tumblr one of friends plus fandom peers, the latter of whom followed me basically for meta/fanfic/the stuff I reblogged. But friends also keep in touch on discord or other messengers, so I often wonder, what do I even post for, and why? All I really want to post about is my life, but that’s not even really a safe thing to do, and also, why do I want to, besides being a little human who likes to leave her little proofs that she was here? Like, would it be interesting to anyone here to know that I work in AAA now and the fam and I are moving to Germany soon? That’s cool news for me, but I can’t say much of anything about my work (and even the things I am allowed to say are dangerous, lmao. Telling the internet who you work for and on what game title always makes you a target. Target is doubled for every underrepresented identity that you have. But that was a LITTLE different for me in my curated twitter bubble because again, it’s more like LinkedIn on the gamedev side, and I have a small audience so my info doesn’t leave my bubble; my bubble is also small on Tumblr but feels more unfamiliar after I’ve been inactive for so long.). AAA can carry a lot more weight in the industry but it really shouldn’t (what some other VOW writers said is true: God works hard, AAA devs work harder, but mobile romance devs work hardest of all) and tbh I don’t give a shit about commercial game size--I chose this company’s offer because its team was really special (severely anti-crunch, pro-labor rights, inclusive, brilliantly skilled in storytelling and technical design and other things I want to learn from them, kind and warm). But some of you might be happy to know that I’ll finally get real health insurance and sick days and vacation time and I can’t just be randomly laid off at any time (something European game devs enjoy that US devs often do not), and it’s a huge weight off my shoulders, because you might remember how I had to struggle with that for several years. Always so much to say but so much fear around saying it. Rare to find the points where you can view your life as Back Then and Right Now in such concrete terms. Is that worth documenting?

TL;DR I want to use social media for personal things and chatting with friends but The Internet at large makes it difficult to do that. I am of course far from the only one who feels this way. That’s just the update on me while I ponder what else to contribute to this blog! I do owe you some cat pics at least.

#arthoure's rambling

[witchthewriter]

Hi! I'm participating in the ship game again, because it's an addiction.

So could I please have a male ship from Buffy, Twilight and the walking dead or merlin, whichever you prefer

I'm about 5 foot (if that) in height, I have long brown hair, quite pale skin with pretty prominent freckles, blue/grey eyes and a sort of curvy build. MBTI is INFP, Hogwarts house is a gryffindor and I go by she/her pronouns.

I'm the mum friend in my group, my bag is filled with everything someone might need of a day. Hand sanitizer, hand cream, lip balm, hairbands, pens, tissues, you name it I probably have it. I like to take care of people and when the people I love are happy, I am too. That also extends into buying gifts, christmas is a busy time because I spend so much time finding perfect gifts.

My dream is to be a novelist but I would also love to be a costume designer. I just love being creative. I'd love to have a place which is mine, with comfy chairs and shelves full of books and dvds. I love watching films, especially horrors and the like.

I am pretty shy at first and I'm not too rebellious, which means for some reason my brain comes hardwired to be attracted to every bad boy on the planet at any given moment. It's a real issue.

Some more miscellaneous information about me. My favourite animals are lemurs or red pandas, my favourite colours are pale yellow and turquoise, my favourite flower is a water lily, my birthstone is a ruby and my favourite food is a dominos pizza.

Thank you!!

Thanks for participating! 

𝐁𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Angel! His character is actually so much better in his tv series, so the Buffy version is ... kinda flat. But his character is very caring, protective and introverted. I can see you guys sitting on the couch, both reading, enjoying one another's company.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Calls you 'honey'. He's not overly into the pet name thing, but with you he made an exception

・Likes when you suggest dates and new things for you guys to do. Maybe he’s done them a million times, but he’s not done them with you

・Loves when you run your fingers through his hair. He often rests his head on your lap and listens to your heart beat

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ Style by Ryan Adams

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:

↬Tall Grumpy (Angel) x Short Unbothered Sunshine (You)

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

He loves your caring nature. Someone who cares just as much as others as he does, it takes the brunt of the effort off of him

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Is Willow! I think she would love to be mummed by you - telling her to drink more water and always putting on her bandaids

𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Jacob Black! I think he would really appreciate your togetherness, and caring nature. In return, he would protect you with everything he has, no matter the cost.

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Tried to keep his secret from you for the longest time. But your curiosity got the best of you, and you couldn’t help but snoop. You actually accidentally found out about the pack one night, and from then, you were the only stranger to see the wolves. (Well, human stranger...besides Bella.)

・He gives the warmest hugs, and he’s constantly warm. Cuddling next to him, especially in the winter, is the epitome of perfect

・Likes to hound you when you’re reading or writing or doing work. He loves having your attention

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ The Train by James Newton Howard

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:

↬ Troublemaker x WHY DO YOU KEEP GETTING IN TROUBLE!?

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

He loves that you dream of being a novelist. Well, he loves your dreams in general. And that a lot of them include him.

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Is Alice Cullen, I think she would be such a fun friend. And you wouldn’t judge her like a lot of people do. Literally, anyone who comes in contact with her judges her a little, but not you

𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Gawaine or is it Gwaine? Either way, I ship you with him. I think you would be instantly attracted to him. And your relationship would follow the plot line of ‘you fell first but he fell harder.”

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Calls you every single pet name. ‘Sweetheart,’ ‘love,’ ‘darling,’ ‘my love,’ ‘my world.’

・ He loves getting a rise out of you. Doing stupid things to make you worried about him. But then you show him that you’d care about him even if he didn’t do the most ridiculous things

・Always brings you a flower every time you see each other

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈:

↬ Flying with Mother by John Powell

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔:

↬ Dumbass x Oh God I Guess That’s My Dumbass

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

He loves that you truly care about his well-being. He’s been alone by himself for so long, and so reliant on only him, that having someone who wonders about him is overwhelming

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Is Merlin! I think you guys would have so much banter and share so many sarcastic remarks. 

#match ups #ships