#i keep saying to myself i wont make any more challenges

[thepettymachine]

Not So Berry Plus Challenge for the TS3

I just wanted more for the TS3 version of this challenge and honestly, who wouldn't. I didn't create this challenge, I simply added and modified somethings to fit more for what TS3 has to offer while trying to keep to the NSB playstyle and heart of the challenge. So if you like the NSB but want more to do in the TS3 version of it, this is a challenge for you.

Disclaimer: I didn't make this challenge, @lilsimsie did. I also incorporated ideas from @simlovinggirl from her TS3 version of this challenge. Also inspiration from @sweetlysimss from their updated version of the TS4 version. Also sim wikia page for all information i need in terms of gameplay.

Tag: the normal nsb tag or "nsb plus" or "nsb +" or "@" me

Do you like the rainbow? Do you like the idea of playing with berry Sims but hate berry Sims? Do you want to mess around with aspects of the game you’ve never used before? Boy, do I have the challenge for you!

Rules:

You can follow the orignal rules of the NSB but I'm not requiring it for this.

You can keep the color scheme for each generation or just stick to the objectives of each generation. It is up to you as the player

2-3 traits are required but you don't have to have all of them for the heir if you don't want to.

Have fun!

If you wish to keep track of the generation goals/your progress, @rcpunzel created this spreadsheet for the challenge

🔬 Generation 1: Mint

What a mischievous scientist you are! As a career-driven individual, you still try to hangout with your friends and family and want what’s best for them. But in your free time, you enjoy the misfortune you cause others and love the idea of luxury in your life. Minty fresh indeed.

Traits: Vegetarian, Ambitious, Friendly, Inappropriate, Green Thumb

Aspiration: Become a Creature-Robot Cross Breeder

Career: Science

Objectives:

Reach Level 9 of Science Career

Master the gardening, fishing, and science skills

Have 3 best friends that you hangout with once a week 

Make 3 enemies

Meet your match: Marry a sim with the inappropriate/mean-spirited trait whom you get into a fight with. 

Own a garden with excellent quality with rare fruit (life fruit, death flower, omni plant, etc)

Own expensive luxury items in your home

Spoil your children rotten (get them anything their wishes desire)

Complete the Gems & Metals collection

💋 Generation 2: Rose

You were spoiled rotten as a child and it made you into an irresponsible insatiable person who hungers for more. Whether it's in your career in politics or lovers you left in tears, you always get what you want and leave the mess for someone else to clean up. Even if one mess ended up with your beloved child.

Traits: Flirty, Workaholic, Charismatic, Irresistible, Schmoozer,

Lifetime Wish: Master Romancer

Career: Politician

Objectives:

Only have one child that resulted from a one night stand 

Gain the “Casanova/Natasha” reputation (for 7+ relationships/romantic interests at one time) or gain the “Player” reputation (for 9+ relationships/romantic interests but none at the same time)

Reach level 10 of Politician career

Throw campaign parties

Master the Charisma skill

Break off an engagement

Get married as an elder

Be distant with your child, provide for them but never be there for them. 

Become publicly disgraced for something

Become best friends with your boss

Live in a big house with maids + butler

🔭 Generation 3: Yellow

Growing up, you never had a great relationship with your parent but you did gain your grandparent’s interest in science, specifically space. As a child, you spent the majority of time enjoying your own company while obsessing over black holes, planets, and traveling to the stars. You spent your whole life dreaming of space, now it’s time to make it a reality. No matter the cost.

Traits: Loner, Handy, Socially Awkward, Brave, Computer Whiz

Lifetime Wish: High Tech Collector

Career: Astronomer 

Objectives:

Your best and only friend is your Grandparent. No close relationships or friendships until they die.

Find a star and name it

Master Logic and Advanced Technology skills

Own a Hoverboard, Dream Pod, Food Synthesizer, Holo Disc, and Jet Pack

Join the Astronomy career and go into the Space Explorer branch

Travel to Simulon V

Never marry because space is your one true love

Neglect your own children but still be friends with them. (no teaching of skills, not caring about hw, etc)

Get abducted by aliens and have an alien child

⚽ Generation 4: Grey

You always enjoyed playing sports and being in the great outdoors, contrary to what your family is interested in. You dream of becoming a professional athlete but you’ve always felt second place to your parent’s obsessions growing up and didn’t want the same for your children. You want to be there for your kiddos as much as possible. So while you’re hanging out with your family, you find music is something that brings you closer together.

Traits: Athletic, Virtuoso , Nurturing, Loves the Outdoors, Technophobe

Lifetime Wish: Superstar Athlete

Career: Professional Sports

Objectives:

Be in the Scouts as a child

Reach Level 10 of Sports career

Master the Athletic skill and a Musical Instrument

Teach all your children the xylophone

Be best friends with all your children

Have 3 failed relationships before finding the one. 

Do outdoor activities with your family (going to the park, beach, camping, etc)

Jam out with your family (once the kids get older) on your instrument of choice

Celebrate the seasons together:

Go to seasonal festivals, host seasonal parties, and decorate the home for family fun.

🎤 Generation 5: Plum

Everyone has always told you how talented you are. You’ve always been naturally good at everything to the point that nothing ever challenges you. This causes you to search for something that will. You tried different careers and learned some new skills, heck, you even tried being a Doctor. But one day at a karaoke bar, you sanged your heart out and realized that you love music and wish to become a singer. Is it too late to pursue your dream in your adulthood? Let’s find out!

Traits: Daredevil, Diva, Lucky, Commitment Issues, Natural Born Performer

Lifetime Wish: Jack of all Trades

Career: Multiple jobs, Medical, Singer 

Objectives:

Make straight A’s as a child and teen

Pick 3 different jobs before deciding on the Medical career

Quit the medical career as an adult to pursue your dream as a Singer

Master 3 skills, one of them has to be a musical instrument. 

Complete all of your midlife crisis wishes

Get divorced and then remarry the same sim

Move to 3 different worlds in your lifetime

Reach at least celebrity level 3 as a Singer

Perform at a big private venue

🖕 Generation 6: Orange

Growing up, homelife was competitive and hectic. You never had stability with your parent’s constant hedonistic whims affecting your life. You also didn’t reach academic success like your siblings who always outperformed you in everything, making you feel like a loser in your own family. But while your siblings were doing their thing, you were doing yours. Stealing. The joy of taking something without getting caught is like adrenaline in your veins and you want more. You also want to learn more about cooking as it calms you down. 

Traits: Loser, Natural Cook, Evil, Kleptomaniac, Hot-Headed

Lifetime Wish: Become a Master Thief

Career: Criminal (Thief branch)

Objectives:

Reach level 10 of the Criminal career in the Thief branch 

Master the Cooking skill

Steal from your neighbors and other townsfolk 

Marry a fellow criminal or someone with the Evil trait. 

Only have twins for children

Cook your favorite food + everybody in the household as well. 

Learn 28 recipes/Menu Maven challenge

Live in a fixer upper home/apartment in YA years

In Adult years, live in a house you can’t afford and purchase weird expensive items for aesthetic

Have at least 5 enemies

📖 Generation 7: Pink

You grew up watching your parents be irresponsible with their finances and let you have a little too much freedom in raising yourself. This causes you to become a very practical individual who believes in the steady 9-5 corporate hustle. Your twin on the other hand, dreams of becoming a big time Director in Bridgeport and you can’t help your envy as you also have a secret dream of becoming a best selling romance writer. As you see your twin succeed in their dream, maybe you too can try to pursue your dreams. Maybe you too can find the love you’ve always dreamed about.

Traits: Frugal, Unflirty, Bookworm, Hopeless Romantic, Neurotic 

Lifetime Wish: Professional Author

Career: Business, Self-employed Writer

Objectives:

Master the Writing skill

Live with your twin while they reach the Director branch of the Film career

Live in an urban city in your YA years, move to woodsy/rural town in your Adult years

Quit the business career  to pursue your dream of being a writer as an adult 

Own multiple bookshelves in your home

Write 5 Romance books in order to become a specialist in the genre 

Write 5 books outside of your genre

Find love as an adult through online dating 

Send love letters to your romantic interest

🕵️ Generation 8: Peach

As a child, you loved the stories your parents read to you about dashing knights, charming adventurers,and mysteries to be solved by the world’s greatest minds. You’ve always wanted to become a detective but you also have a thirst for adventure. Why not both?! You work primarily as a detective by solving cases and investigating clues but when you get that itch to explore, you catch a plane to your next destination and meet the locals who will tell you their stories.

Traits: Perspective, Good Sense of Humor, Genius, Adventurous, Photographer’s Eye

Lifetime Wish: Pervasive Private Eye

Career: Private Investigator

Objectives:

Reach level 10 of Detective profession

Move to a different world than the one you were born in

Visit explore different worlds (can be custom/WA destinations)

Master the Photography skill

Bring back souvenirs from your travels

Play chess in the local park and play against other townies for fun

Marry a local

Make all your friends through jokes & funny videos

Have a dog and be best friends with them

🎮 Generation 9: Green

So popular! You’ve always been the life of the party as you are an outgoing person who's always down to have a good time with friends. But no one would suspect that you’re really just a giant nerd that loves playing video games and painting in their spare time. That’s why it’s such a shock to some that you decided to major in Technology and become a Game Developer. You’re a hard worker who wants to develop amazing games but will party to the break of dawn with no regrets.

Traits: Party Animal, Social Butterfly, Excitable, Computer Whiz, Artistic

LTW: Reach Max Influence with All Social Groups

Career: Video Game Developer (Game Artist Branch)

Objectives:

Moonlight as a barista at bars for extra cash/side hustling 

Hacking is also another side hustle for extra cash (Computer Whiz trait exclusive)

Attend University as a Technology major

Unlock the Video Game Developer career by maxing out Nerd social group status

Master Mixology, Social Networking, and Painting skills

Accept every invitation to parties/outings with your friends

Own a comic book collection

Have a personal  blog

Have at least 5 good friends

Marry your best friend

🍼 Generation 10: Blue

Your dreams are a reality now that you have married the love of your life, had beautiful children, live in your dream home, and work your dream career. What could you possibly want more than this?! Actually… alot. You find yourself dissatisfied with your present circumstances and your eyes have begun to wander onto things you shouldn’t but want to have. As you begin to question and explore your new found cravings, a one time affair produces a bundle of joy and now everything you hold close to your heart is now in jeopardy of breaking apart at the seams.

Traits: Perfectionist, Good, Family-Oriented, Grumpy, Neat

Lifetime Wish: Surrounded by Family

Career: Teacher

Objectives:

Marry your high school sweetheart and stay with them until death do you part

Join the Education career

Host a big wedding

Move into your dream house

Adopt at least 1 child

Teach your children all of their skills

Toddlers - Teach, talk, poop, logic, music

Children - encourage their skills and help them with their homework

Teens - help them with homework and teach them to drive

Have a secret affair that results in a child

Confess to your spouse that you’ve cheated in order to rebuild your marriage

Purchase the “Clean Slate” lifetime reward to clean up your reputation

Gain the Eternally Faithful moodlet

Thank you for trying this challenge. Feedback is always welcomed!

#sims #sims 3 #ts3 challenge #sims 3 challenge #nsb plus challenge #nsb challenge #i keep saying to myself i wont make any more challenges #i made enough #i dont listen do i #nsb plus #hope you enjoy and i hope i kept it original yet not a copy #imma eat now

[blueslight]

Im in such a weirdly shit mood today i feel so sad and isolated and BORED out of my motherfucking mind and I just feel like asssss

#Like i literally have NOTHING to do #and i got really sad earlier thinking about how i dont feel comfortable in my extended friend group anymore . and like idk ive been #questioning stuff lately like my morals and stuff and my values #and like thinking about graduating exhausts me cuz on one hand like . prom. i dont wanna go like genuinely i wouldnt have any more fun than #i can have at home but at the same.time i guess a part of me is sad .? that i dont wanna go to prom and that ill miss out maybe #and same w all social stufff basically like I genuinely dont think i enjoy large social gatherings but also i cant tell for 100% sure yk #and a part of me IS sad that i cant have a normal teen experience #but mostly that like. i cant relate to anyone really. It feels like the divide between me and people just keeps growing the more #-i stop faking things and masking and stuff #but i cant tell if the way i feel abt some stuff is morallly alright . for example a someone in our friend group hangs out with people that #make racist jokes. and I sorta judge him for it CUZ i thinm its lacking a moral.backbone. but at thw same time maybe its weird of me to #think thar way and worse maybe its hypocritical cuz like. for example i listen to bands that have done some shitty stuff (only to a certain #degree of course like i have my boundaries) and i think the like hypercritical 'cancek culture' sort of mindset is stupid and unhealthy #and like you shouldn't be expected to only associate with morally perfect thimgs. but also i dont think you should be friends with shitty #people cuz thats different yk.. but everyone is so tied to each other in a way i wont ever understand #and like maybe its just easy for me to say cuz i dont have much experienxe w stuff like that‚ maybe i just think you can #cut people.off if theyre too shitty cuz ive never really been in that Situation #but like if my friend made a racist joke or something i would at least talk to them yk?? #but idk I hate being in morally challenging situations bc i have a very ig unreliable moral compass and insanely low empatthy . so i #always have to second guess myself and i guess i have to re-sort my priorities. cuz i care about people feelinf safe around me but it #leads to me resenting myself when i DO judge people and i really really dont wanna be overly negativr but i also dont wanna keep like #supressing everything .... #idk i just want my peace but something always comes up. and i dont understand other people and lately it just feels like the giant divide #between me and other people and esp the other teenagers has been growijg so hard #and my two best friends are the only people where i feeo like we speak the same mental language and stuff #but one of them has zero backbone and would never have my back ever cuz shes just too scared and the other one is similarly socially lost #like me #and i feel like idk any expectations/wishes i got towards other people are morally bad of me cuz it feels like i need to know better #like i judge myself for being hurt that my one friend doesnt defend me against anyone when they say bad stuff but like i know shes just #too scared. and yet

[youremyheaven]

i'm a different anon but girl, i'm so sorry that happened to you. i had the same first time experience as you and i wholeheartedly agree w/ your advice. don't sleep w someone just to not be a virgin bc being one isn't even a bad thing & it's infinitely better than having to heal from such an intimate form of assault especially when it's the only sexual experience you know. personally i'm still healing from it & it seems like it will just last forever. if you don't mind me asking since i know it's a sensitive topic, is there anything in particular that has helped you heal? i'm sending you a lot of warmth & love ❤️🫂

hi love<3

thank you, i appreciate it <3 and im sending u the same love and healing✨

in some ways i am still healing from that experience even though it was almost a decade ago. more than the memory of it, its the physical and emotional repercussions it had on me that were challenging to navigate, for a long time after that i thought i was asexual, lost my libido, lost touch with my femininity and compounded by many other abusive experiences made me avoid the mirror entirely.

for me what truly changed my whole life was yoga and meditation. specifically yin yoga, women carry a lot of tension in their hips and practicing yin yoga (there are many yin yoga, hip release flow type guided videos on YT if you search for them!!) helped my body feel so loose and fluid and relaxed?? i didnt know how stressed my muscles were until i realized what true relaxation felt like. i remember those initial days of practice, i felt such a profound emotional release as well, like a weight was leaving my chest. relearning sensuality, feeling comfortable in embodying it and reframing sex and my perspective towards it has been a slow journey and some of it is easier than others. but i am doing sooo much better than i was before. meditation also really helped me feel more safe and comfortable in my body and not feel like i had to always be on the lookout for danger or assess other people's intentions. keep in mind, these are not things you can expect overnight changes from. you have to be patient and disciplined and just do it without any expectation. eventually it gets easier. also it keeps you more in tune with your body and intuition and helps with knowing what situations or people to avoid.

i have also been practicing tantric meditation and it has also helped me immensely but i think you should approach tantra after you've reached a point of healing and peace bc tantra can awaken some powerful energies and it can be a lot to handle.

taking care of myself has also helped me. its so funny how when i was struggling with my ed, body dysmorphia and numerous other issues, i did nothing to make myself feel good bc i didnt think i deserved it but by doing things (it can be as simple as applying lotion after a shower, whatever self care habits that make you feel good about yourself!!) that make me feel good, i feel good??? its like those people who say 'omg im so lazy i cant do the dishes' but the truth is you feel lazy bc you havent done the dishes so if you do the dishes you wont feel lazy. i hope this weird analogy makes sense lol. basically do things that feel good and you will feel good, it sounds really basic and almost stupid but i feel like most people wait until they've "earned" it or are "worthy" but the truth is doing it is what will make you feel like you deserve it, if u catch my drift.

anywaaayyys thats all, <333

[lost-jams]

Brushes And Beats chapter:01

pairing: JiminxReader

genre: fluff with a pinch of angst

trope: enemies to lovers

:That awkward moment when your nemesis tell you something that is right for you but you are too proud to take their advice:

In the glamorous world of music and entertainment, unexpected romances often take center stage. Behind the scenes, amidst the dazzling lights and flamboyant costumes, all kinds of story unfolds and I get to witness it all as a makeup artist. Every day, I had the privilege of working closely with some of the biggest stars in the industry. With my brushes in hand and an eye for detail, I would transform their faces into works of art, enhancing their natural beauty and showcasing their unique personalities on the stage and screen.

One particular pop star caught my attention from the start - a charismatic and talented individual who commanded the stage with his powerful voice and captivating performances. Little did I know that this pop star would become more than just a client, but also my nemesis. His name, Park Jimin - a renowned artist known for his remarkable talent and uncompromising attitude.

As a makeup artist, my job was to make him look flawless and ready to face the world. I pushed aside any personal feelings I had about Park and focused solely on my work, determined to provide him with the best makeup artistry possible. BUT BOY WAS HE ANNOYING with his diva-like demands and perfectionist tendencies! "It needs to be closely matched with the stage lighting and my costume," he would insist, nitpicking every small detail. Though I was fuming on the inside, I maintained my professional demeanor and ensured that his makeup was always on point.

"Oh the great Park Jimin" Fumi my work bestie passes the coffee to me as we take a break from the chaos backstage. I chuckled, knowing she shared my frustrations with the demanding pop star. "Tell me about it! It's like he expects me to read his mind and anticipate every little thing he wants". "But you know what they say, there's a thin line between love and hate," she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

I couldn't help but scoff at her suggestion. "He's my nemesis, Fumi! How could I possibly fall in love with someone who constantly challenges and tests my patience?" I dismissed her words, choosing to believe that our relationship would remain strictly professional.

"COSTUME CHANGE!!" I rushed back to my station, readying myself for another round of makeup touch-ups. As Jimin sat in my chair, I couldn't help but notice a subtle change in his demeanor. His usually confident expression seemed slightly softer, and there was a glimmer of vulnerability in his eyes.

Did something happen? I thought as I delicately applied his foundation. Jimin stayed unusually quiet, his gaze focused on his reflection. His quietness was uncharacteristic. Usually, he would use this time to critique the makeup or give his input - it wasn't often that he was so subdued. But today, he was different, quieter, watching my every move with seemingly genuine curiosity. I found my hands shaking slightly as I brushed blush across his high cheekbones, my nerves suddenly getting the best of me and then I saw his smirk with his right eyebrow cocked up. Bastard

"I don't know, don't you think the competition's makeup artists do it better? No offense, of course. You still do a passable job." oooh his tone was a mix of nonchalance and veiled provocation, I wont let him get under my skin. "Interesting, given how perfect your performances always are, I would think you'd notice that my makeup artistry is always uniquely suited to enhancing that. But if you'd prefer a 'passable' job, I'm sure the competition would be glad to have you as their canvas." keep calm...keep calm..."Oh, don't get me wrong. I know a great talent when I see one. After all, I work with the best around, don't I?" IS HE MOCKING ME?!

After a tense moment of silence, I finally snap back at him, fueling the argument with a retort, "Best around, hm? Yet you're always complaining, aren't you? I wonder if being the best includes never being satisfied." Hints of frustration tinge my usually calm voice.

Jimin retorts, "And I wonder if being a makeup artist means disregarding the client's demands. I expect perfection because that's what I give onstage." I was about to snap back when the director of the shoot came back with an excited look "are we done?" I smiled and took a step back "yes, we are". Jimin stands up smoothening his clothes and intentionaly bumping my shoulder as he sneekily winks at me "see you around birdy" . Asshole.

________________________________________________________________________________

Clubbing with Fumi was the best decision i made today, as its a friday night the club is already jam packed. We decided to sit at the bar and order drinks my mind couldn't help but go to the look on Jimin's face today he seemed kinda off. "Earth to Y/n" I realized I was in a daze "I've been calling you for 15mins, what were you thinking?" I shook my head and smiled at her "Nothing really" I laughed while she gave me a side eye "Anyways...Ugh I already feel tired, they said they might be a new face in the company and you know what that means MORE TOURS WHICH LEADS TO MORE FATIGUE AAAAA GOD WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS LINE OF WORK" hearing that reminded me of all kinds tiredness I felt when the artists go on tours and god forbid you are required to go with them but it isn't that bad if you think about it, you get to see new places and make fun memories.

"HEY WANNA DANCE?" Fumi chirped excitedly as she dragged me to the dance floor. "I want to get wasted tonight" Oooohh nooOoooh bad idea "You know we don't have a ride home" I chuckled reminding her we need to stay concious.

________________________________________________________________________________

"Ugh i missed you bed" A sigh escapes my lips well it was a long day of work plus with all the clubbing my brain wasn't braining, my head shifted to the right as i heard a Quack sound, Ugh i know that sound all too well, it was a specific ring set for a specific person, "What does he want now?" i muttered under my breath as I picked up my phone to see the message "Hey birdy", I squint my eyes at the text "What?" I replied back. "a bit rude, do I perhaps need to remind you what happened 6 years ago" I crunch my face in annoyance "I apologized to you at least a 1000 times already" 

 Jimin replied "AND THE PICTURE STILL CIRCULATES ONLINE" i couldnt help but crack a smile at his reference serves him right  I thought to myself "Look I was still new and was still learning" I put down my phone but it buzzes again "Anyways do you have the reference of my outfit yet?" I sighed "not yet, Zara told me take it from the dry cleaners, I'll do it tomorrow" as i continued to type "So you are an errand girl now?" WHAT THE- "Isn't it her resposibility to send it to you" i sighed in fraustration "I don’t want to continue this conversation."

"I’m giving you some good advice here, you should take it. Stop picking up Zara’s dry cleaning—it’s not your job." I roll my eyes at the text, I DO NOT WANT TO ADMIT THAT HE IS RIGHT "Heard you went to a club, not sure if u managed to entice someone with your flirting skills birdy" wtf what does he think he is doing "That’s what people say about you."  The unfortunate retort falls out of my mouth. 

I try to rewind time. It doesn’t work. "Is that what you think you and I do? Flirt?" I couldn't help but say "Aren't you supposed to be the God of Flirting, thats what your fans call you" I cringe at my text maybe I shouldnt have said that "Birdy, if we were flirting, you’d know about it." I felt a weird drop inside, I smile at Jimin's response and feel a mix of relief and curiosity.

 "Oh, really? So you're saying there's nothing going on between us?" I respond playfully, unable to resist teasing him back. Despite our history and the tension that sometimes arises between us, there's always been an undeniable chemistry. But lately, I've been questioning whether it's just playful banter or something more. Not lettiing him say anything I quickly bid him goodnight with my heart thumping in my chest.

________________________________________________________________________________

Monday came, I have a feeling it will be a nice dayy, my gut never lies.

"hey birdy"

"Birdyyyy"

" Birdy birdyyyy"

"No it doesn't match, I see your skills are going down"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HE IS BEING SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS TODAY It seemed like he was determined to annoy me today. And then he added salt to the wound by criticizing my skills. I took a deep breath and reminded myself to keep calm and maintain proffesinalism, I look at the mirror and see him flashing me a mischievious grin, knowing it will rile me up and it did "Jimin, can we please focus on the task at hand? We both have work to do here." I respond calmly, trying my best to maintain my composure. Deep down, though, his teasing still gets under my skin. As the day goes on, I try to avoid engaging with him further. I focus on my tasks and give them my full attention. But every now and then, he finds a way to playfully disrupt my concentration. It's frustrating but also strangely exhilarating.

Finally its time to pack up and head home as I gather my things and prepare to leave the devil shows up with a smirk? "Ready to call it a day?" I dont have a good feeling about this as i can sense that he has something up his sleeves

I raise an eyebrow at himand playfully reply "Oh, are you trying to charm me into staying longer" he chuckels and replies "Maybe I am" my breath hitched for a moment "Well...not working, guess your charms are fading not a good look for a pop-start"

I smirk back, not willing to let him have the upper hand. "Goodbye Mr. Park" I swiftly turn around and make my way out, I stick out my hand in my back pocket for my phone but it's nowhere, "shit " I LEFT IT IN THE MAKE UP ROOM a sense of annoyance washed over me. It seemed like just another opportunity for Jimin to capitalize on my forgetfulness and tease me further. 

Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself to stay calm and not let his actions get to me. I walked back towards the makeup room, he was still there, leaning against the wall by the mirror, I tried not to pay attention to him and scaned the room "Looking for this birdy?" I looked at him wiggling my phone in his hand, I took a deep breath and stuck out my hand "phone"

"Give me my phone back, Jimin," I said firmly, trying to maintain my composure despite the frustration building up inside me. He continued to dangle it in front of me with a smug smirk on his face.

"Why so serious, Y/N? Can't you take a little joke?" he teased, enjoying every moment of this power play. I took another deep breath and looked him directly in the eye "You know, i was thinking about last night" I took a step forward while he takes one back. Thats it y/n corner him

"well you know wondering what will it be like, you know...flirting with you" His back against the wall while my right hand was on his side by his arm "Well I think i'll be traumatized" I said twirling my hair "Let me tell you what will happen" I could feel his hand on my waist "You'll be thinking about it later on, lying in bed." 

"Been thinking of my bed, have you?" I manage to reply. He blinks, a new rare expression spreading across his face. I want to slap it off. It looks like he knows something I don’t. It’s smug  and I hate it. "Jimin, your expression"

He is distracted. "What about it?" Seizing the opportunity I snatch my phone from his clutches "Its filthy"  and run away. HAH...dreaming about him NEVER though he looked kinda...hot.

to be continued...

chapter 02

THE FIRST CHAPTER OF BRUSHES AND BEATS IS NOW OUTTT, I HOPE YOU'LL LIKE IT

#jimin ff #jimin x reader #jimin bts #idol au #enemies to lovers #fluff #makeup aritist x idol #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts ff #bts fluff #bts #kpop #bts one shot #jimin #park jimin #bts jimn #jimin fluff #jimin fanfic #pjm #lostjams

[espion7971]

im not gonna say that much about this. i didnt think i'd say anything about it at all. but im too angry, and too fucking sad. i wont get too personal but this isnt gonna be like my usual posts so be warned if you follow me for more lighthearted stuff.

i also just wanna say, i talk about myself a lot in this post. *obviously*, i am not the victim here. i have never been a victim of this situation. but it's caused me grief and fury, and this is an outlet. we should be supporting shubble and all other victims. i don't really expect anyone to read this. i just needed to write it for my own sake.

the whole wilbur soot situation is devastating. when i first heard about it, like a lot of others, i immediately shut myself into denial. i have watched this man since he joined the dream smp in 2020. i was there through the entire server, through his 100 player challenges, the sbi mccs, all of it. i was a lovejoy fan from the moment one day came out - hell, i hoped to see them in concert someday. i did countless (though probably shitty) art and writing pieces inspired by his work. it wasn't that hard to tell that he isn't someone with flawless mental health by any means. but i never thought anything like this would happen.

when i accepted that he was the abuser shubble had talked about, i was upset and confused and unhappy. but i also had hope. i hoped that maybe this had served as a wake-up call, that maybe he was getting the help he needed. maybe he'd take a break, come back with a genuine response, and then make his mental health and personal morals a priority. i hoped he was better than this.

needless to say, i am furious. "disappointed" doesn't begin to scratch the surface. i'm angry. i'm insulted. i'm embarrassed to have ever looked up to him. his response was robotic, emotionless, and gave no indication of remorse or accountability. he didn't even apologize. he claimed that he had already received help. if he has, then it clearly wasn't enough. this is not a man who's ashamed and looking to better himself, this is a man who is going to keep hurting people. and that is terrifying. i genuinely can't connect this with the person i've kept up with for 4 entire years. i can't believe it. i really can't.

this response has corporate PR bullshit dripping right off of it. this so clearly did not come from wilbur soot himself. he might not have been involved at all, beyond a glance over and an okay to whatever team did the writing. and that's the most insulting part of all. he didn't even type this up with his own words. he didn't even have the balls to make his own response. and that pisses me off.

he abused someone. probably more than one. and he didn't even acknowledge her. the 4 paragraphs of nothing are addressed to the wider audience, not shelby, the person this should be about. if this is the best he can do, i'm genuinely shocked he developed such a loyal and amazing fanbase. fucking revolting.

with all that said, i'm probably going to stop listening to lovejoy. that hurts me, a lot. that's a hard choice for me to make. but there need to be repercussions. and this is what i hope: i genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, hope he gets help. i hope he wakes up and realizes he isn't ok, and takes genuinely strives to better himself. i hope he grows and improves and becomes better for the people around him. and i hope he leaves social media permanently. that hurts me to say, but i don't think i could ever really trust him after this, and i don't think it would make his situation any better. i hope he leaves, and i hope he makes a better life for himself. it's an optimistic hope, considering how much evidence is pointing to his unwillingness to change. but i won't let go of it.

that's pretty much it. i've said my piece. i'm angry. i'm sad. i wish this was all a dream and no one ever got hurt. but shelby did get hurt, and others almost certainly did too, and no nice fancy corporate words will change that. good-bye, wilbur soot. the memories were good. i won't let you taint them. but there's no going back from this, at least on the internet. i hope you make a better life, and i hope you do it far away from anyone you have hurt or could hurt.

what a waste.

#wilbur soot #abuse #domestic abuse #idk maybe i'll delete this later #i just needed to say it. maybe to make it feel more real #i'm still pretty deep in denial in all honesty #i just can't believe it. i can't believe any of it

[fipindustries]

super sad super raw break up feelings under the cut, feel free to read if you want

here we are once again, for the third time in a row that a trans girl breaks my heart.

the worst part is always ground zero.

i want to find a life partner, i want to find that person i can live with in the same house and build a life together with and grow old next to them.

every time i meet someone it felt like winning the lottery. it felt like i somehow magically found that one person in the world that could get me. that could tolerate me. that i could click with. i felt like i had that one shot and i had better not screw it up.

maybe im a hopeless old fashioned romantic with an outdated view of relationships but i want a marriage.

but she wasnt it, she couldnt be it. i never really had a shot. it was just not meant to be.

the worst part is being back at ground zero.

is knowing that they are not there any more. is knowing that i am alone once again, with the ensuing fear that every time it happens it will get harder to stop being alone. is the ensuing fear that i wont be able to find anyone better, that i wont be able to find anyone that can fill that void again. it the exaustion that comes with knowing that if i ever find someone else again i will have to start from scratch, i will have to go one more time through the whole rigamarole of telling them about my life, learning about their life. building trust from zero, building a life. how can it feel real again after it failed so many times. it felt like the real deal so many times before and it never ended up being it. it makes one despair of ever finding it.

is just more baggage turning me into more spoiled goods

i want to have what i had but i cant see myself having it with anyone else, i cant bring my self to try and build it up again with some stranger. my biggest fear in life is not to die, but to die alone and every time im back here again that feel becomes all the more real.

the worst part is finding my self back in ground zero.

two times i tried to build something serious and long lasting with someone else and in both occasions that person got bored with me, got over me, couldnt bring themselves to love me the way i wanted to be loved. they changed in some way, or i changed in some way, and whatever they used to feel for me got dulled and weak.

am i asking too much here? are my demands unreasonable? am i being entitled, do i have ridiculous standards? why do they people i love eventually grow distant, eventually grow tired of being touched, why do i reach a point where i have to ask them to spend time with me and they only wearily agree to do it as a favor to me not because they want to? why do i keep finding myself in situations where i have to keep hearing my partner say "no" to favors i ask for and me having to graciously brush it off as if its no big deal and of course they are fully within their rights to say no and, no, it doesnt bother me at all that is the 6th time theyve done it in a row despite me doing everything they ask for. why do i keep finding myself feeling alone despite being in a relationship. why do i keep finding myself in a situation where i feel like i am imposing on my partner merely by asking to spend time with them? is this normal? am i doing something wrong here?

not going to lie, this last relationship was a bit of a mess, there was a lot of arguments, a lot of crying, a lot of little insatisfactions and things not fitting quite right here and there and lots of little incompatibilities that kept popping up. and yet this is not relief, she was perfect all the same, she was great, she was amazing, she was fantastic. she was funny and so incredibly bloody smart and so so silly. and she was so challenging, she would bring a perspective that was so starkly in conflict with everything i believed in, she made me question so many fundamental things about the way i view life and philosophy and art. she was so fucking cute, she was downright adorable, specially when she insisted that she wasnt, and she was so jaded and so raw and weird and insane and uncomfortable and sinister and unpredictable. she was so full of words and of creativity and imagination and so impressively cultured. she was dark and intense and she would glimmer like hidden embers beneath ash covered obsidian.

she was fucking crazy man, she was a crazy bitch, that is why i loved her so much.

and now she is gone.

[agentlemansavage]

I've made the choice to refrain from answering anymore questions about my love life.

I think I've said plenty about everything for everyone to know where I stand. The reality of the situation is it's unlikely to immediately improve unless she suddenly changes her mind on things and given the time it's been and that she has someone else to focus on it isn't likely.

Yes this hurts honestly more than words can express. Losing a lover is always hard and losing your bestfriend is even harder. Anytime my phone beeps it all I still think it's her, anytime I go to play a game I want to play it with her, anytime see a meme, or something happens in my day I want to share it with her. I saw a future with her one that I want more than anything. It's crazy to me that I didn't want to waste any time because I found exactly what I wanted and time was exactly what she needed. I fucked everything up and I'm learning to live with that. I meant everything I've said and will continue to keep all the promises I made. I'm trying very hard to stay hopeful, but I've tried everything I know so all I can do is wait.

I'm also taking a step back from this blog. I'm not disappearing but I don't think currently I can offer anyone advice, or continue to post nearly as much as I have been. I attended my first AA meeting for the first time in a long time. I don't think i have an actual problem with drinking but I do use it to cope and especially lately I find the bottle is the only thing bringing me any sort of comfort so a meeting to remind myself to take things in stride.

I'm still working on my 6 month challenge. I meant every word and I'm finally starting to see results of the hard work at the gym. I still have some issues to work through in therapy and some things I need to work on myself. The certification I'm working on(the first of many) will hopefully be accomplished by the end of next month. I'll make sure to update on that as it comes. Spanish admittedly im losing steam. It's hard to stay motivated when the person I'm working on this specific thing for wont even talk to me. I haven't given up it's just hard.

April has always been a hard month for me. A friend of mine died 9 days after his birthday over a gun accident when I was younger. The anniversary of those two dates came and went and It's hard to admit the weight of his loss still haunts me so Today I'm grateful for the time I got with my friends that are no longer here.

One last thing, I've decided to move within the next year. I had already planned to move to another state for her and had applied for jobs that I ironically ended up getting interviews for and turning down. I can't say that I will end up in that state but I would like a change and I think it's time.

Sorry, this isn't a positive update and I'm very thankful for those who have reached out.

[puppyonmain]

Gender rambling between 4-5am? Not sure who even keeps up here as sporadic as i post, but!

Gender is so weird. I have, for most of my life, never really considered my appearance. It was something that i “fought” for but never really played with? I’d toss on a tshirt, some cargo somethings, sneakers, and call it a day because for me, it was the least sensory hell and something that didnt make me dysphoric that apparently set the tone of being a trans man. I cut my hair into a rooster comb and for the most part that was my set hairstyle. I never really saw it as gendered and i liked it i guess? I liked my hair out of everything but even still sometimes sticking it up felt like a chore or could be a sensory challenge. I have been out of the house for half my life now, and yet i feel like i never got much of that teenage exploration most my peers got. Its weird to be exploring it in your thirties but here i am. I spent my early twenties as a trans man, and only managed to disown it in my late twenties during pride month when i went back to test driving they after realizing being a man gave me dysphoria too.

I have never particularly felt like a man nor a woman, but something in between. Both, sometimes neither. These days i feel like i fluctuate and so i have been cozying down in the ambiguity, thinking i might be some kind of fluid but my queer ass really feels at home with terms like faggot butch, nonbinary, gender noncompliant, transgender, or dyke. I like the idea of any pronouns but sometimes i feel sad people automatically clock me as a he/him 95% of the time because i have facial hair. They is fine for me, she is interesting, and viewing myself through she has been a wild ride in terms of things coming full circle again to my agab, in some respects. I dont hate it when i view myself as masculine like a dyke.

It’s weird because i dont want to use micro labels and yet regardless of acceptability of said labels (people dont like the reclaiming of slurs), i find myself fearfully wading through them, scared of the judgement and scared of folks accusing me of some lack of authenticity. Scared that folks will slap a stamp on my head (such as trans man) and look no further. And i suppose thats inevitable in some respects because i often just say im queer and leave it at that. Sometimes queer is all i need. People will make their assumptions and wont always understand and thats okay. The people who matter will get it.

I shaved my hair off wednesday afternoon and as much of a siren call as it was, i was scared it was going to look bad! I cant lie, though, there was something sweet and delightful about having my owner run her hand over my freshly cut head and tell me i really was her bully now after she helped shear it all off. I took some weird relief in the act and something was nice about seeing myself reflected in the mirror with a new sense of self. It was like the feeling of buying a new canvas to paint on or starting over. It kind of kickstarted me into engaging in how i look again instead of just idly accepting not looking at it in the day to day because it didnt really feel important.

Last years yule made me think about clothing, but i had kind of picked it up and put it down. I feel like this “drastic” hair cut has been a relief for not having to manage hair and how sensory overwhelming it can be, but also for my gender expression. I have thought about makeup since. I have enjoyed wearing dangly earrings with a bald head. I have been thinking about how i could feasibly look cute if i just picked up xyz or did something scary and alluring. And who knows, it might change? I might grow it back out to a rooster comb again. But for now i am enjoying the ride, i am enjoying feeling engaged with myself because i deserve more than just throwing on essentials and living my day without considering myself. It is nice feeling like i have some kind of autonomy over my appearance for a change instead of settling into something “acceptable” or just cruising along without much thought. I hope i can pull my partners along because they deserve that feeling too.

Its times like these where i wonder if this feeling of autonomy is just something people feel by default or if they work more or less to get to this point? I dunno, but i am happy to have gotten here.

#chatter #gender #long post sorry #just thinking my thunks

[jeeplethicar]

Something that always strikes me as odd is whenever I consider playing any “soulslike” game since I enjoy fromsoft games so much. But I’m always turned away from them because they always miss that thing that actually makes fromsoft games good.

After you play any of the games more than once you immediately find the game easier and easier each time (in my experience at least) where my first playthrough was over 100 hours any subsequent one I first try most bosses regardless of the build or challenge I impose on myself and I clear it in 20 hours max. Mind you that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable I’ve played through the whole trilogy back to back multiple times but it’s undeniable that dark souls is not that hard when you actually know what you’re doing. I’d say at least 70% of the actual “hard” part is just not having any idea what you’re supposed to do when a boss does x thing. But the second you do? Then you make the boss look like a goober who’s never held a sword before

Dark souls (and other fromsoft games) have received this unfortunate label of “this game is hard” which turns a lot of people away from it. Or even worse becomes a glorified aspect of it when in reality it’s difficulty is one of the least important aspects of what it has to offer. Yet that’s the thing that everyone latches on to. Don’t get me wrong I remember spending hours on nearly every boss my first time around but after I win it really was more a fact of “oh I just need to do x when y” it’s not that preforming the action itself was actually difficult.

But whenever any “soulslike” games, weather they advertise themselves like that or not. The inevitable words that are coming out of stupid peoples mouths is “this game is harder than dark souls” or something comparing difficulty. And then you watch gameplay of this game and it looks like a shitty dark souls mod with worse UI. Oh sorry could you not tell which game I was talking about? Yeah that’s because there’s a lot of them floating about.

And I don’t even necessarily hate these games either I would probably have a fun time playing it if the bosses were entertaining enough. However I probably wouldn’t want to play them again for one reason and one reason only. These games all focus so hard on the hard game set in grim medieval setting that they completely ignore the whole beautifully crafted world with lots of lore in every corner that is woven into the gameplay so seamlessly that it’s not until you’ve played dark souls a few times that you begin to notice how well done it is when you see things that you missed the first time. That’s what these games are missing, they just try to make a “hard” game and sometimes even end up failing at that. And then these games fade to obscurity as just another dark souls clone. Which is very unfortunate for the developers of these games as I’m sure plenty of them didn’t even have dark souls in mind when making their game

Even for fromsoft, they have Bloodborne (which I have yet to play) and Sekiro. Are absolutely fantastic stand alone games and have earned their own spots next to dark souls that have their own unique stories and gameplay despite being similar in vibe. However who didn’t escape this was Elden Ring, now I could go on for a long time about how disappointed in this game I am. But I wont for now. Elden Ring really is just fromsoft wanting to keep making dark souls but having the self respect to not go “dark souls 4 we continued this for some reason” because they know ds3 is the perfect ending. But there’s a huge reason why any time people talk about Elden ring you see dark souls tags on it. It’s obvious it’s meant to be a continuation of the series (gameplay wise obviously not story wise) Elden ring just doesn’t make itself unique enough to be one of the great fromsoft games.

And that’s not to say I didn’t play the game all the way though so don’t think I’m just some dark souls bootlicker. I did one regular str/faith build (just for golden vow and lightning buffs) and my second playthrough was a naked throwing knife only run. So I did throughly play it and while there were enjoyable parts of it. Elden ring just feels so much less developed atmospherically. Like in terms of icons? We have a tree. Oh and another tree, and in case you didn’t notice on your way in we have a tree. The tree is cool for a bit until you see that that’s literally all it is. Things like messages are there because… well because.. Why does our character respawn? Oh because of the undead curse-..

I think Elden ring is a fun game and is still well done but it always falls short of being it’s own unique thing and it will always be that way to me, I want to get into the lore like I can with the other games but it just feels like it’s not there (ignoring the god awful Samey same names) it plays exactly like ds2 if it was polished and didn’t have adaptability. And it’s bosses/enemies are copy pasted way too many times and they don’t even do it like the Capra demon in ds1 where you encounter it early game as a point to warn you about the kind of beasts you’re going to meet when you go past the depths and blighttown. But also that when you struggle with this thing now but then are able to handle three of them at once later shows your growth in strength.

As apposed to “oh yeah just throw in this same boss again, what do you mean we already have twelve tree sentinels? Just one more it’s okay. No don’t change anything about it no new moves just the same boss. Oh and while you’re at it copy paste some more crucible knights, let’s make a duo fight with them people liked ornstien and smough. These enemies have no chemistry and the room is too small? Do I pay you to ask questions? Just because of that I’m putting in an area that’s entirely a swamp, actually fuck you two swamps”

End point, the reason games labeled as “soulslike” or clearly model themselves after it inevitably fail is because what makes dark souls so special isn’t because it’s hard game haha get gud. It’s because of the atmosphere and the story it tells *while* it’s beating your ass. The way every boss takes hours and dozens of attempts your first playthrough is because you’re supposed to feel like one of the undead dying time and time again with the only thing that keeps you returning is your will to keep trying. Other games are hard because they want to have that little sticker they can put on the box to say “we’re like dark souls guys please pay attention to us” they lack the why that dark souls has. It’s themes are perfectly executed and that’s why they have been, and will always be a timeless classic that people will try very hard to emulate but it’s not until they figure out how to make a good story that they’ll ever make something nearly as good

#dark souls #ds1 #ds2 #ds3 #soulslike

[violentviolette]

ASPD diagnosis anon again.

Thank for responding, I really appreciate it.

You mentioned your bipolar diagnosis affecting your rights/freedoms, what did you mean by that? I ask because personally, I have lots of things i need to address, and process, but therapy as a whole just seems like a massive risk. I'm not asking for a "do this/dont do this," I guess, but more of your perspective and experiences.

Thanks again, just let me know if it's too personal. :)

so in the us at least, it can affect a lot. bipolar disorder is considered a legal disability tho and is protected under the ADA so some of these things u can fight, while others u cant

things like workplace or educational discrimination for example, both are required to provide accomodation for bipolar individuals, but them knowing ur diagnosis at all puts u at risk for discrimination. i know most places wont hire u if they know that upfront, and in some fields (like medical, govt work, ect) outright state that u cannot have a mental health diagnosis like bipd in their field and they straight up will not even consider hiring u

it can affect ur ability to get or renew a drivers liscence, especially specialty liscences like CDL's and motorcycle

it greatly affects ur medical treatment overall. ive had problems with some dr's not taking me seriously because they see i have a bipd dx. i had a bone tumor the size of a baseball in my shoulder for years and when i told dr's it felt like i couldnt breathe and that something was pushing my shoulder out they dismissed me as being a hypochonriac and told me to talk to my therapist. i also need to make a point to appear put together when i see certain dr's or else they take it as a sign im declining mentally

were often at an increased risk for involuntary hospitalizations, especially if healthcare workers believe u to be manic or having an episode. this leaves us more vulnerable to things like guardianships/conservatorships. it is much more likely for judges to rule against us in cases where someone is challenging our legal rights or trying to gain prolonged control. this can be especially dangerous for people in abusive relationships or with abusive parents.

it also counts negatively against us in family court proceedings. judges are much less likely to side with a bipolar parent in custody cases and it's much easier for partners, family members, and the state to seize control over ur children

we also cant buy or legally carry any kind of firearm or other weapons. even knives that are legal to carry for others can become issues for us if the law becomes involved. we're much more likely to be given harsher punishment and prison sentences, and more likely to be mistreated in police custody

overall tho it's about weighing the pro's and cons for u personally. for me with my bipolar, i Need medication or i will go insane and kill myself and so i really had no choice there. u need a diagnosis to access bipolar meds consistently, wheras with something like aspd, u dont need a diagnosis to access treatment so it was easy to keep that one off the books

generally tho, unless ur out here telling ur therapist ur about to shoot up the grocery store or kill ur dog or throw urself infront of traffic, getting hospitalized when ur just seeking average talk therapy is fairly unlikely. hospitals are overfull and the mental health system is way overworked and understaffed and most places dont want to fight with insurances that dont want to cover stays. so u do generally have to be saying some extream things to risk being coded currently, at least in my experience. ive been held for 24hr stays before, but never longer than that. they almost always dont have a bed and so unless ur really losing ur shit infront of them they dont want to have to keep u.

also if u seek out dbt centered therapy and resources they tend to be better about handling hearing the nasty symptoms without getting too nervous. things like issues with empathy and anger management are much more common for patients seeking dbt. it also helps if u tell them these things upfront. this makes u appear more self aware and in control, which works in ur favor and makes it less likely they'll view u as an active threat to urself or others. but it really just comes down to what ur looking for personally

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #aspd tag #actually aspd #bipolar disorder #bipolar 1 #no worries anon not too personal i hope some of that was helpful for u

[raxistaicho]

Hello! I've been reading through a lot of your posts on Edelgard and Crimson Flower

I'm going to say, I've only played Verdant Wind once- from start to finish- out of both 3H and W3H, and I did so 2 years ago (It's hard to push myself through the Academy phase, my attention span wont let me 😅) so some of my initial views on 3H may have changed

But I don't really think I'll be finishing Crimson Flower on my own anytime soon, yet I always find myself curious about Edelgard, her beliefs and motives and goals

Three Houses is a pretty big game, with varying ideologies, themes and messages and it would be really hard for me to keep track of ALL of them across multiple play throughs, especially with the MASSIVE character roster; as well as the controversies and differing interpretations of the routes everyone has in the fandom that I've been exposed to

It's why I don't think comparing the routes is necessary or really possible, since each route is supposed to be different and each playthrough is different; given the recruiting mechanic and the perma death of classic mode. Not everyone's run of a route is going to be the same and each route and character will hit differently for different people

But I really appreciate having written out posts going over Crimson Flower and Edelgard. It's been really interesting having some of my initial thoughts on her either be challenged or confirmed

Despite the fact that I don't always understand or fully agree with all of her decisions, I do really appreciate having them explained. There are multiple parts in your posts that shine lights on parts of her that I didn't get at first that now make more sense to me

I, personally, don't want to view any of the lords as being in the wrong. I admire how strongly they all hold their values and beliefs despite how rocky, different and conflicting those can be, even if I don't always agree with them, and Edelgard is- certainly- a very passionate character when it comes to her set path

So thank you for providing these Edelgard posts!

Now, I wonder, if you could explain one of the routes to one of the house leaders of a different route- like explaining Crimson Flower to Dimitri, or Verdant Wind to Edelgard- would you?

Hey, thanks for stopping by, this was a really interesting read :)

Out of curiosity, have you ever considered watching the other three routes on you tube? I'm sure there's cutscene compilations up by now.

Either way, I really do like your attitude to analyzing the story, it's lot more fair-handed than I've seen online, lol.

Now, I wonder, if you could explain one of the routes to one of the house leaders of a different route- like explaining Crimson Flower to Dimitri, or Verdant Wind to Edelgard- would you?

That's a really interesting question. I'm not sure I'd like to try with Dimitri (if nothing else he wouldn't like what he has to hear XD)

I honestly haven't given much thought to interacting personally with the characters, though. It's a neat concept, if nothing else.

#fire emblem three houses

[hella1975]

hey I have life advice to ask and if it's not cool then just go ahead and delete this-

I'm gonna be 17 soon and I was pulled out of school due to stuff I couldn't really control, so I dont really have a college/university to expect in about 2 years ish if I cant pull through out of my depression/anxiety and take the GED tests (american testing, its like a substitute for a highschool diploma, which is.... shit idk the differences to england but either way if I cant study and complete 4 giant tests, colleges/universities wont be available to me. I think.). I really could just move about anywhere I'm able to, and there's this place that I really, really love. I've done everything I can to know about it besides GOING there, because it is incredibly far away from my home. Really fucking far. It's been smth of an idea of mine I've held on to a year, like all the towns and places I dive into I just keep coming back to that spot. It feels like the one, like I can't really see myself growing old because of my depression but I can SEE it there, and I've never felt that.

The thing is I know from a few older mutuals of mine (and just other adults in gen) that things can change and while you might go to uni/college for [X Thing] you'll come out with something else you found so you'll now have [Y Thing]. like what you're expecting or want is going to change as you learn more or delve into it. I don't know how much I should take that to heart really? There's this fear that's been placed into me that I can't actually think for myself if I'm always going to be changing. I'm so confident about this rn but what about later? Sorry if this freaks you out too JFNSJMW like we're about 2-3 years apart but it just feels like so MUCH, I wanted your advice since you've got the uni experience I might miss out on

(My family is fine really like they're not going to kick me out or anything, they've just got other problems ig that I'd like to escape from because a lot of what they do has me just.. stuck with myself. It sucks being a teenager because I'm just in the middle of it all)

hi anonstie! sorry for the slow reply to this, i hope im not too late to any decision making. thank you so much for trusting me with this, it's a really scary situation for any teenager deciding on something that seems so defining, let alone with mental illness factors and possible family pressures. trust me I GET THAT. so everything i say is my opinion very tainted by my own bias and personal experiences, but you know that and asked me anyway so im gonna assume we're clear on that okay:

so as someone who not only has the uni experience but overall LOVES uni like could not have picked a better option i love my uni life i love my friends i love my independence so much that i stick doing a subject i HATE bc i love my life here so much - coming from someone in that position, you want to know what i think? if you're not sure about going to uni and genuinely think you'd be happier elsewhere, do not go. im being so serious. university is a challenge, and people know that, but you have to take what you think it's gonna be like and double how hard it really is. it's a fucking culture shock and a half and even those who settle in well (i like to think i did) still have trouble finding their feet, and it's fucking scary. you have to have a level of certainty to manage it. idk maybe im being too extreme here but ive seen so many people who regret uni and are the loneliest they've ever been, and if you already have mental illness weighing on you that's not a boat you want to be in even if you might not end up like that.

the option does not vanish just because you didn't do it at the 'correct' age. i can see ur stress around the exams and while i know fuck all about american education, i refuse to believe there's no ways around it or ways to redo at a later time, or even if you do just wind up with not very good qualifications, somewhere will take you. i was convinced that if i didnt get out of my hometwon at 18 with the natural progression in academia then i would be stuck there forever, and part of me still believes that no matter how silly it is, which is why i outright refuse to drop my subject even on the days when it eats me alive, because i think if i drop out i'll get stuck in my hometown. uni was an escape for me and that's one of the reasons i love it so much. but over time, while it still lingers i wont pretend it doesnt, ive realised how wrong that mindset is. there's so many types of people at university. some people come onto campus with their children. some people are middle-aged. some people just did a gap year. my own flatmate is a second year uni student just like us but she's a year older bc she dropped out of first year bc of covid and reapplied. uni made me realise how common MESSINESS is. i hardly know anyone who got here on the really straight and narrow route, and maybe that's just part of being the covid cohort who knows but there's not a 'correct' way of doing things.

idk i think school is very rigid UNTIL you reach eighteen, and bc the universe is such a bitch you only realise how fluid everything gets post-eighteen ONCE YOUVE MADE THE DECISIONS.

so yeah, if you want to know what i think? chase that place that's calling to you. worst case scenario is it lets you down but you finally scratch the itch; that alone is something to live for. if you ever change your mind, university and that path isn't going anywhere. there's always so much choice, we just sometimes box ourselves in until it feels like there isnt

#i feel for you genuinely you couldnt pay me any money in the world to be 18 and scared again #it's truly fucked how little guidance we get just to turn a corner and realise everything truly is fine #like geniunely things work themselves out and adulthood teaches you that #there are scary awful horrible horrible times of course. but you have autonomy and there's always options #it's not as overwhelming anymore #ask

[minseologs]

rage pt. 1/2

TW// The following story is a work of fiction. 

They say a violin string’s tension can withstand about eight kilograms of pressure before it snaps. Each hit with it’s bow determines how long they will last. What it’s made of in the core and the way you care for it also predicts longevity. 

And of course, what you play also adds a factor. 

When I was little, My father always told me to hide my emotions so they will never be used against me. Any kind of emotion, I’d have to deal with privately. I remember always being alone to deal with it. There are a few things I’ve done to make it bearable. Sometimes, I felt the need to take it out over things, just so I can make room for more if I needed to.

“It could be a lot of factors as to why,” the doctor explains, the waving of his pen distracts her for a moment. “Interment explosive disorders could be from environmental factors, and sometimes genetics, even.”

“Well, my family are psychotic, Have you heard? I’m sure you know papa and mama’s history with their feelings—“ she jokes, her smug smile didn’t pierce through the psychiatrist. “Anyway— I’m going through therapy anyway... to deal with it, I mean.”

“Have you, Miss Choi?”

There was something so cunning about the way she carried her lies.

“Of course. Along with the medications you’ve given.”

-

Adiago 

I am the violin. My emotions are held in the strings. The bow and the melody was what controlled me. Like a tempo, everything starts out slow— then fast. As much as I always deny it, I can recall the episodes I’ve had with this. Because they all end the same. The same palpitations, the same cries, the same regret and sorrow that follows after I’m forced to see the damage I’ve done.

“Minseo!”

The child tried her best to hold her tears in as she prepares reprimanding from her father. She didn’t even remember what it was about. It was an honest mistake in her own, she thought. A strike of his hand across her cheek snaps something in her, but she couldn’t show it. 

“Now get out of my face.”

As calmly as her father demands, she bows and walks away with a blank face. Her footsteps lead her back to her room. It was the first time she felt something so overwhelming that she grabs a doll and immediately dismantled it. With brute force and sheer anger— Minseo had calmed only when she could see fluff everywhere and her fingertips plump red from the blood the rushed to the surface of her skin. Her heart was racing in a way where it wasn’t just filled with untold outrage, but it was out of grief. 

Eventually, I realized I would keep everything to myself from then on. As if there was this voice that tells me when to start, and tells me it’s enough. I’d find the time, mostly in the evening before bed, to destroy everything I could, as much as I could. It made me feel better, I confess. It was a habit created out of the same abusive home I was in, I’m told. I realize I’d filled in what was missing from what papa gave Hyeseo. All joyous things a child should receive. Sometimes, he would do it in front of others. Perhaps that’s also why I hated being around ‘our own crowd’, so to speak. I had no one to blame. I was a child. 

-

Accelerando 

“Do you really think papa will give you the business?” Her older sister had mocked her after she had fought her place. “It’s gonna be given to me whether you want it or not.”

“What makes you so sure about that?” Her voice was taunting and it always ticked Hyeseo. She flips a page of her book to keep herself from attacking her own blood. “Just because you have a position in the company doesn’t mean you’ll get everything.”

“I’m sure I will,” her poise comes closer to the other and tilts her younger sister’s chin up. “And you will work under me, wont that be fun?”

Minseo could only look at her sister in the eye. Hyeseo chuckles as she leaves her arms reach. And if she had stayed, another fight probably would’ve broke out between the two.

My father had always challenged my sister and I. But as soon as I try to make him proud, my sister was always there to make sure I don’t reach where she could. I was always second. I don’t blame her. If you had a father that always made sure power was there, you would only want the best of the best in your children, no? Eventually I remember having this . . . sort of emotion in me. To hurt my own sister like she always had with me. At times we were friends and allies, but mostly, I was thrown under the bus and treated like an outsider. Of course it was never to a point where I wanted her dead. I wanted her to suffer. Suffer so greatly that it would impede anything she knows how to do now. But alas, like always, I did nothing.

Her fingers dance gracefully on the neck of the violin. She played well with any music sheet her eyes have set note on. Her right hand had controlled the bow for each note and tempo needed. But with her recklessness, one snaps in front of her that completely lost her focus and placed quick force against her skin. Her partially broken instrument falls to the ground as a hand touches pain on her temple before seeing speckles of blood on her fingertips. A foot immediately stomps the instrument to further reduce it to broken pieces of wood that was piqued by her injury. It attracted the attention of a maid in the near by room. Minseo’s face meets hers and what was once the face of forbidding annoyance quickly turns into a friendly and gentle glow.

“Clumsy me.”

#cms:story

[gothamcityhistory]

Detective Comics #29

Cover:

I love this cover art! I like how you can't see Batman's face - It makes him look more menacing! I hate that he doesn't have his purple gloves though... or any gloves... Nothing says stealth like leaving your fingerprints at the scene of the crime. The style of the building, the guy dropping the knife. His pose is so funny!!

I also love Doctor Death's secret lair with technology and bits and bobs... random human skull. Anyways, I also like his pose that is like "Drat!! It's the Batman!"

You might've also realised that I don't call Batman "The Bat-Man" anymore. It's because in this issue is where they drop the dash! (Well not in the title but y'know-)

Also in this post I'm going to start covering up text boxes where possible- Not if not actually reacting to something in the text box

Issue Credits:

Cover by: Bob Kane

Story by: Gardner Fox

Art by: Bob Kane

Recommendation:

Oh my god I loved that comic. It was really good. You should read it!!

Live Read:

Ohhhhh this is before he turned to a life of crime

"Jabah... YOU'RE A GENIUS I SAY! LET'S GET ON IT AT ONCE!!"

What's wild to me is that how it worked so quickly to get his attention

They just give it to him?- ??? No like verification?? No one was curious and collected it just cuz?-

Post man read the paper too and is like "Is that fucking playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne?"

Also the message says that he gets says that the guy will commit a murder and challenges Bruce to go alone and I like how Bruce is like "Sure. Why not". 1939 Bruce really gave no shits

It takes him an half an hour to change into his batsuit. canonically

Also he has those just cuz. Expected this day might come

WOOOOO ICONIC 1939 CADILLAC

I like to imagine he was there in his car, engine on just waiting for 8:30 exactly to drive-

Uhm okay...

Woah! No grappling hook yet!! A Lasso. Yee haw Cowboy...

It probably comes from his grandpappy Zorro

Batman! Batman! Does whatever a spider can-

Also do bats climb up the sides of buildings?

Yippeeeeee!! I love when Batman is being cautious and sneakyy!!

"I'm not trapped here with you. You're trapped here with me"

Bro went to far #NotMyBatman

I'm keeping this as a reaction Image- You can too-

I audibly gasped- /gen

They didn't have to do my bro like that and also why is his ethnicity relevant?-

"It happened on a night out with the boys. Trust"

"K boss"

I'm also keeping this-

He says that out loud- Bruce, my man, he could hear you.

That shit surprised me ngl

Doctor Death is legitimately insane wtf

Review:

I loved that comic. It was great and I actually enjoyed myself reading it and I got immersed in the last few pages and forgot to write my thoughts on the panels as I read them.

I got used to the narration style of the comic so that might be what helped.

I loved the art in the issue a lot so I wont be restricting myself for the Art section.

I liked the Batman acting more Batman and the lasso stuff. That was so cool!!

Art:

I love this panel. It's so cool!!

Hell yeah.

Thank you all for reading!!

Come back whenever! I will post at rarely the same Bat-Time but always the same Bat-Blog!

#Detective Comics #1930s #1939 #Golden Age #Detective Comics 29

[sleeplessinpnw]

My body hurts. I hate being schizophrenic. I remember when my life was clear and I was healthy. I was social, I would go out with friends all the time, I had a better reputation, I was NoRmAL....

I've been having a hard time with my body. My head is a disaster. I'm on so many meds and have been now for close to a year. They've changed my life around. But they wont be able to undo the weird stuff I was getting into when I was completely off the deep end. I've made it through so many challenges this year. I've battled being lonely and depressed every single day since last August. I completely went coo coo for coco puffs and was so public about it on my social media where I had over 700 followers. I was saying some pretty weird stuff. I freaked some people out and got annoying to others.... that's for sure. I made a fool of myself and am afraid to go to places I use to go frequently. I fell into such a deep depressed state while hearing voices and destroyed so much of my personal possessions. I miss all of my rave clothes!! I fell into this belief that going to raves ruined my life but it was just my mental health. But that's the community that saw a lot of my posts and unhealthy behavior and ever since my birthday last year I literally sabotaged all of my going out clothing and rave wigs/bodysuits/jewlery/etc because I thought it would make me feel better. Fuck it. When I did it, I was WASTED and on cough Nyquil. I was a wreck. My birthday is i a week and I'm in a better place but I miss my fucking things. And I have no money to replace any of it. Nore am I even going to edm shows and festivals at the moment. I destroyed a really fun and pretty part of me. I use to be so skinny and sparkley and fun. What happened to me!? Will I ever make a come back?? Who knows.... WHY AM I EVEN GOING OFF ABOUT THIS!? Ugh.

It's late and I need to be up in the morning but I'm wide awake and writing my feelings is all I want to do.

I have no hobbies. I feel like I'm never going to have a fucking relationship with a cute boy. I feel like a loser, that's for sure. I don't do anything when I'm home alone. I hardly ever feel like listening to music or watching tv. Is it my depression?? Fuck it. UGH!! And all I do these days is just wait for my mom to get home so I can kick it with her. But now she has a boyfriend and she spends all her time with him. I like him though. I'm not mad at him or anything, I just miss having more alone time with my mom. All she does is talk about him and her co workers anyways. It's draining but I tolerate it because she's in a happier place compared to last year. When I was a hot mess.

Will I ever find a job that pays well that isn't food industry? I'm going to start applying for new jobs after St. Croix. My mom and I are super broke so.... Idk what that trip is going to be like and I already am preparing myself for my mom talking about how broke we are when the trip is over. Oh, AND my car needs a new battery UGHHHH Car stuff always happens at the worst time possible. Anyway, back to the job situation. I just feel like I wasn't mentally stable enough to have any job for awhile. Then being unemployed for so long instigated more of my depression to amplify. And now.... I have a shitty resume and I don't want to be a server but I have No IdEa what's ever out there for me..... that will even pay more than minimum wage. I have friends who have steady jobs. I literally like.... never see Tara anymore and Kayla has been going through stuff and hasn't been hanging out as much. But I don't even have money to do anything anyways. I keep thinking about Nichelle and Sarah which is sad LOL. Like.... I feel like a failure compared to all of these people and I want to be successful in something. But WHAT!?! I still am technically employed with Sol.... Buut lets be real, I hated it anyway and need a more steady job that isn't just folding clothes for 8 hours a day. Maybe I should apply for UPS.... I've head they are good to work for. UGH. I'm gonna try and go to bed now. Mr. Man wont get out of my lap and I have to be at Randy's tomorrow at 10 which means I gotta wake up around 8:30. So..... until next time!