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oldestenemy · 10 months

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every me, every you, every moment passing through - finale

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

There is a very long moment where nobody moves.

Penny catches Malorn’s gaze with a look caught between horror and sudden realization that he’s sure is mirrored on his own face. A shared moment of ah, so that’s what that was.

Had they always been able to do that? At least recently?

Had it been on purpose?

Had it been because of the extra circle?

How had they drawn an additional battle circle and had it work?

“Ashthorn, c’mon, help me carry them out.” Duncan is halfway to the wizard’s body before Malorn manages to break Penny’s gaze and move.

They each thread one of the wizard’s arms around their shoulders. Like the claws of the shadow creature, their fingers and hands are stained blue with spider blood. Their eyes and mouth are running that dark sparkling purple, but it seems to be drying out. Malorn isn’t entirely sure if that’s good or bad…

“There’s a new teleporter in here—” Marla calls from where she’s looking through the hole that had been blown through the dungeon wall. “—one of the big round exit ones.”

“Oh thank the gods.” Malorn mumbles, “Let’s get out of here.”

He and Duncan clamber somewhat akwardly after Marla through the hole, trying not to bump the wizard around too much. Penny follows behind them, arms wrapped around herself.

The exit teleport leaves them all standing outside the moon door inside Nidavellir. Nobody questions why.

The bear standing at the outer doors takes one look at the wizard’s limp form and says he’s escorting them to the King’s Hall. None of them have the energy to protest, but Duncan and Malorn refuse the offer to let him carry the wizard up.

Words are exchanged between their escort and the guard at the door—the Thane, Bjorn Ironclaws—but the doors are swung open and they are led to a side room set up with a small bed. None of the words Malorn hears are really registering. His head is buzzing. Too much happened, and all of it so fast.

Is this what it’s like for them?

All of the time?

“I am told you four rescued our hero from an unexplored depth within Nidavellir.” A rumbling voice greets them in the doorway, and they are met with the King of Bears, Valgard Goldenblade. “Grizzleheim thanks you for that service, we owe much to the wizard for stoping the Coven and the Everwinter.”

“Right.” Malorn just blinks, he’s out of his depth by miles. “Thank you, I’m sure once they’re awake we’ll be on our way.”

Mercifully, the king seems to understand that none of them are used to dealing with this. “Stay as long as you need. The doors of this world are open to you.” He says, and returns to the main hall.

Penny is working on cleaning the blood and starlight from the wizard’s hands, she’s been silent since the fight had ended and is still somewhat glassy eyed. Duncan is in the corner, inspecting some of the strange starlight liquid from the wizard’s face, drawing little symbols in the air and looking increasingly irate when nothing happens.

“So are we just not going to talk about them turning into some kind of monster?” It’s Marla who breaks the quiet. “Or how they broke through a wall into a dungeon already at capacity and then joined the duel by finger painting?”

“I don’t know,” Malorn admits, sitting down on the foot of the bed. “I’ve never seen magic like that—it wasn’t Myth, it didn’t even seem like the Astral stuff we’ve seen them use before.”

“Do you think the spider mage—Lorcan—do you think he was trying to draw it out of them?” Marla asks.

“No,” Penny says softly, “no I don’t think he knew what he was getting into. The same way we didn’t.”

She’s probably right.

Malorn thinks about the flash of fear in all those eyes. “Hey, Penny?”

“Mmm.”

“They’ve usually got a ring on them, full of spiral keys.” It’s a shot in the dark, but a fairly straight one. If anyone could tell them what was going on, it was probably someone the wizard had met more recently than not.

Penny digs a hand into the wizard’s backpack, which is on the floor next to the bed, surfacing with a ring full of mismatched keys. She holds it out to him in silence, the look she’s giving him is enough to know that she understands.

Duncan frowns deeper in the corner, “Ashthorn we just got ourselves beat to dirt by a bunch of spiders—you’re not suggesting—”

“—Do you want to find out what that was or not?” Malorn snaps “We don’t know how long they’ll be out for, we know they weren’t… weren’t like that before Azteca, we can’t go to Azteca, we can go to Khrysalis.”

“No. No way, we could have been seriously hurt in there—and for what?”

“What if it’s killing them?”

“Who cares—they did it—they won, the fight is over! Bring them to the headmaster, tell him they turned into a weird winged beast, and let him deal with it!”

“Duncan—”

“What! Not everything has to revolve around what happens to them! Honestly they’d probably prefer if we just ignored it and moved on! That seems to be their default, pretend things just didn’t happen.”

“Well we can’t!” Penny isn’t usually one for anger, she’s too bright, too worried about what everyone else is doing. “They’ve been throwing themselves into danger and wars and titans know what else since they enrolled—you might not think you owe them anything, you might not think any of us are friends but I do! Malorn does!”

“Then you two can drag yourselves across the spiral without me, see how long you manage.” Duncan shoots back. “I’m not dealing with this anymore—I’m going back to nightside and I’m finding a way through that portal.”

He storms out, Malorn hears the creak of the great doors swinging open, and then slamming shut.

“I’ll go after him.” Marla says, “Either just try and convince him the portal is a dud without them—or else get him to come back. No offense, but please don’t go throwing yourselves at anything until we’re back—You’re both miserable fighters.” She looks reluctant to go, but swings her staff over one shoulder and vanishes into a small explosion of bats.

“You know the levitate cantrip right?” Penny asks once they’re alone, picking up the wizard’s backpack and shouldering it.

“Yep.”

“Perfect.”

~*~

“This is stupid and you know it.” Marla finds him where she expected to. “Exactly how are you expecting to win if you make it through?” Duncan, to his credit, is trying to mimic the wizard’s voice. Failing miserably, but trying. So on some level he’s aware it’s hopeless.

“Once the portal is open I can get help.”

“Yeah, sure, I bet you’re just dying to go running to Susie and Nolan for help.” Marla snorts, “Duncan come on, the best way to do this is going to—”

“—to what? Wait for the wizard to rescue us again?”

“To do this as a group, to do it together, to give all of us closure. Not just the wizard, and not just you.” Marla doesn’t stop the irritation from coloring her words. Duncan acts enough like he’s the only one who cared when they all thought Malistaire had died, like he was the only one betrayed when they were told what he was trying to achieve. “You don’t get to take that away from the rest of us.”

~*~

They’re floating.

Sleep feels like that sometimes.

It’s gentle.

It’s quiet.

Until it’s not.

They’re floating, and it’s not because they’re asleep.

They’re floating and their limbs are all aching and their head feels like it has split down the middle and there is still the faint echo of blood and starlight in their mouth, sour and metallic. There is a faint twinkling noise from below them. The wizard groans, tries to sit up, and falls straight down. Landing with a musical thud on the rainbow bridge that separates Grizzleheim from its spiral door.

How—?

“You’re okay!”

Penny’s voice hits their ears like a siren, and the wizard groans again.

“Why am—wait—” Jumping to their feet makes the world spin, but they look down towards the doors of Nidavellir, barely visible beyond the bridge. “—Lorcan, and the—wait—”

“—It’s alright.” Malorn takes them by the arm and they’re not going to admit it but without the added stability they might be at risk of tumbling right off the rainbow. “You’re safe. It’s over.”

“No.” The wizard shakes their head, squeezing their eyes shut when it makes the pain spike higher. “No, how did you know where to find me?”

“Malorn heard a voice.”

Their eyes snap open.

Brown. Gold. Brown again.

“What voice?”

Malorn leans back just a little, like he isn’t sure why that’s important, like their intensity is concerning. “A—a woman’s voice—she said you were—”

Raven. This had been Raven.

“Have you heard her since then?” Malorn shakes his head and the wizard lets their shoulders drop, lets the tension ebb slightly. “Good. If you do—tell me. I’m not—” they try to take a step and the world spins violently again.

“—Woah, hang on, you’re still really out of it.”

Right.

The shadow circles must have really done a number on them.

“How did we…get out?”

Malorn and Penny share a look that they do not like at all. “What do you remember?” Penny asks.

“I—the last round, and then the circle went out, and—I don’t know, I passed out didn’t I? You all carried me out.” That makes the looks get even worse. “What? What happened? Duncan and Marla are fine right—Lorcan didn’t—”

“—No, no they’re both fine!” Malorn says hurriedly, “Duncan stormed off while you were unconscious and Marla went to find him—we—you—” he lets out a nervous little laugh. “—you kind of—turned into…something.”

“I turned into something.” The wizard repeats blankly, looking between the pair for some kind of context. Any kind of context. When none is offered, the wizard sits slowly back down on the bridge, holding out a hand to both of the others and pulling them down too. “Do either of you know how to use conjuration sigils? I know that’s mainly a myth discipline, but it lets you turn memories—at least, short ones—into something other people can view.”

When neither of them do, the wizard reaches back for their bag, stomach dropping momentarily when they find it missing until Penny slings it off her back. It takes a moment, but they dig out some parchment and charcoal. “Okay, this is the sigil—it’s easy, and it doesn’t take a lot of effort, just—whichever one of you wants to try, just draw it, think of the memory you want, and activate it the same way you would if you were doing a cantrip.”

Penny is the one who does it. She and Malorn exchange one more look like they’re worried about what’s going to happen afterwards. Like they don’t quite want to know.

The dark grey glow of death magic forming a flickering image.

Within it, they can see Lorcan kneeling on his frontmost legs, and something throwing itself at him. Claws digging into the segments of his body and ripping it apart. Something that looks almost like one of the shadow creatures. An amalgamation of them all, winged and clawed and—

—and then it dissolves.

And the wizard sees their own body.

Sees backlash, sees payment for creating the extra dueling rings, slam them into the wall of the dungeon.

Penny waves her hands through the image to banish it just as that happens.

“I—” they trail off, feeling a tremor work its way up their spine and force through their whole form. “—I don’t—I didn’t—” It’s not supposed to come out like that. Uncalled. Unsummoned. It’s supposed to be under control now. They’re supposed to be able to handle it now. If they can’t— gods and starlight if they can’t—

“—Don’t run away again.” Penny says quietly, reaching out for one of their hands and not letting go when they try to flinch back. “We can’t keep doing this.”

Shadow is a dangerous chaos unleashed upon the spiral. Oftentimes too destructive to allow. Its dangers must be understood. Its creator must be dealt with.

Raven’s voice is as soft as usual.

It sends a jolt of white hot anger through the wizard. She had told them to enter the lunar dungeon. She had guided Malorn to Nidavellir in search of them.

…Had she known Lorcan was waiting? Had she sent him here too? Lorcan had wanted them to deal with the wayward spider and his kin. Old Cob, his children, things they don’t have answers for.

What do they fear more?

Facing Malistaire again?

Or the idea that they are not as in control of their magic as they should be.

That they are walking the same razorwire of those before them.

Running away again.

Prodigal Problem Child.

They want to get out of here.

They are in no mood to humor Raven.

So perhaps spiting her is the better option.

What better way than to continue bending the laws of this reality.

“Come with me,” the wizard says quietly, pushing to their feet and taking one of Malorn’s hands with the one they have free. Pulling both him and Penny towards Baldur’s ship. “I should talk to Professor Drake before we go back to Nightside.”

Once more.

For good this time.

read the rest here <3

#wizard101 #wizard101 fic #wizard101 fanfiction #wizard101 fanfic #wizzy fandom #lark is still playing funky wizard game from their childhood #did it! fuckin did it!#took me a while but i did it!#kinda got a little very fucked up in the last couple weeks of june so forgive me the wait #please enjoy #it is long #the darkmoor fic will likely ALSO be multiple chapters #anyways #enjoy #im so tired #i love every one of you

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waviermylove · 11 months

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Thank you to everyone who got me to 25000 likes! 🖤🤍

#25000 likes #thank you #i love every one of you #tumblr milestone

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this-strange-obsession · 9 months

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When I said my notes app is crying, I didn’t even mention this shit. (There’s unfortunately somehow more beneath the visible list.) I never used to write fanfiction, it was always one manageable original story at a time.

But with fanfiction, I can’t focus because I keep having little daydreams I want to expand on. Then another pops up and it’s so irritating.

Just.. every day I find a deeper appreciation for fanfic authors. Y’all are incredible. Keep it up. <3

#this is an appreciation post #i love every one of you #tgs #fanfiction

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witchy-kittyy · 2 years

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I just wanna say I love it when people talk in the tags, seeing your compliments towards my Raiden art really made me so happy so thank you to everyone who said nice things and just in general liked and reblogged 💛

it means the world to me and was honestly such a big pick-up because I was feeling really self-conscious about my art 💛

Thank you 💛

#i love every one of you #you really made my day #thank you to the person who tagged my art as good soup im using that phrase from now on I love it #raiden #mgr Raiden

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blogofalostsockmain · 7 days

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I SCREAMED WHEN I OPENED MY EMAIL AND SAW THIS

IT ONLY HAS BASIC INFO AND NOTES

PEOPLE LIKE IT

I AM IN BLISS

#Hermit-Crab Town #new tag i guess #it's for the thing im writing #eeeeee #thank you all #i love every one of you #this is what happens when a person has no friends #and gets no positive attention #and has autism

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autumn-may · 4 months

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Mostly spoiler free summary of my viewing experience

#The boy and the heron #how do you live #studio ghibli #ghibli #in all honesty that movie was legitimately so fantastic and im like changed as a person #Story wise as well! It hits really hard if you know a bit about miyazaki and his legacy. Its a very personal movie i think #And you can feel it in every aspect #The eng dub voice actors were really good as well and the animation was beautiful as always #Also really loved the tone!!! The story really relied a bit on the use of negative space in both sound and pacing and i enjoyed that alot #in conclusion go read a article about miyazaki and his son and then go watch the movie it’s probably going to be one of my favorites #image id in alt

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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my-little-girlboss · 16 days

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I really really hate how most art of transfems is just a cis girl with a cock or the most cis passing/adjacent body type ever.

Yeah, girlies like that do exist, but you know what there is so much more of?

Fat transfems, "clocky" transfems, transfems early on in or without hrt, transfems who don't "pass", transfems that don't get rid of or ashamed of their "boyish"/"masculine" features.

Not all transfems look like cis women models or twinks with boobs, please understand

#love every transfem and transsexual forever <3 #transfemininity #transgender #transgirls #trans girls #transwomen #trans women #transfem #trans fem #amab transsexuals i love every single one of us no matter gender or presentation i love you <3 #body posititivity

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ashfdhfgdsfk · 1 year

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which movies have you watched the most amount of times? they dont have to be your actual favorite movies, just the ones youve rewatched most. for example: mine are the final destination movies and scream

#mutuals especially i really want to know #a) because movie rec but b) because i feel like it says a lot about you as a person JSDHGFHJ #but fr i fuckign Love the final destination movies they are so much fun #and i used to play the first scream every time i cleaned my house lol i dont know why #txt #if no one reblogs this ill cry talk to me Boy

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jesse-is-inarguably-purple · 4 months

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imagine ur garthy o’brien, just trying to fuck this hot ranger you met at your brothel that you own, except her teenage kids/wards/bosses keep knocking on the door to your bedroom and interrupting you guys and THEN you learn that she’s actually in a committed relationship but didn’t tell you, so THAT sucks but THEN one of the teens comes and finds you in the middle of the night yelling about how his friend is gone and they can’t find him and he might be in danger, so you help him teleport to his friend, and then when they all get back, looking extremely upset and dejected, you apologize to the ranger’s daughter for making her feel uncomfortable by fucking her mother and in the process SHE reveals to you that her mom’s boyfriend is actually this really cool werewolf guy that you KNOW and have fucked on multiple occasions

#and THEN first thing in the morning you find the goblin teen paralyzed in the courtyard #anyway im rewatching fhsy in preparation for junior year and WHAT a trip #the way garthy just casually refers to ayda as the librarian of the compass points library #THATS YOUR MOM/DAUGHTER #my HEART #also god i love sandra lynn so much #AND tracker #AND ragh #AND each and every one of the bad kids #missed them <3 <3 <3 #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high: sophmore year #fhsy #d20 fhsy #garthy obrien #original

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babydarkstar · 2 months

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honestly no wonder harrow forced ianthe to lobotomize her so she could save gideon. listen…LISTEN…if i was a secret-war-crime cult nunlet princess worshipped by my entire planet and the only person that (barely) kept me in check was my childhood nemesis—a butch a year older than me, towering over me in stature and physical prowess, and so hot it made my teeth hurt from how hard my jaw clenched in her presence, who wielded a two-handed seven-foot sword and had irritatingly huge biceps and told very lewd stupid jokes and also learned how to wield an entirely new weapon and be my bodyguard with startling accuracy in three months—only to have us finally learn to trust each other because we got invited to a magic murder mystery and then before the bubble burst i spilled the worst secret about myself that i was born because my parents murdered an entire generation and tried to Kill Her along with them and she just wouldnt die, and i told her this expecting a swift death i believed i deserved, only for her to fucking cradle me in her big butch arms and kiss me on my forehead with her soft butch mouth and just. forgive me for a shameful weight ive carried my entire life and then MAKE AN ACTUAL NECRO/CAV VOW with me despite every evil thing i have done to her……to have her tell me, in the end, bleeding and broken after putting up the most beautiful and glorious fight of her life, that she understands purpose and she understands duty and she knows loyalty more fiercely than ever now, that she knows who she is to me, that there is no her without me….to have her backed into a corner and make the ultimate sacrifice…..for me…..to recite scriptural wedding vows of eternity to me in her last wisps of soul-consciousness…..if i thought there was even a snowflake’s chance in the pyre that i could save her by turning myself into her very own locked tomb, i’d be begging ianthe tridentweirdius to crack my skull open and turn me to mush too, goddamn. i understand you harrowhark girl you don’t have to explain a thing to me. god said you couldn’t undo the lyctor’s bond bc it’d kill you. you told god and his angels that not even a lyctor’s bond could outshine the power of female spite and lesbianism and they didn’t listen. they didn’t believe you. but i heard you loud and clear and i was 17 and hormonal and hopelessly romantic not too long ago unlike those fucking dinosaurs and i’m saying it’s valid it’s what i would have done and really everyone should be thanking you for not being worse and more wretched about it, all things considered

#i think about gideon nav every day #she makes me want to eat drywall #shes so jesus shes so her own thing shes so god and savior It Is Finished divinity of love and sacrifice #honestly so much of harrow is so so relatable to me shes so real for everything she does #her little griddlehark meetcute au her little divine highness au #ive already waxed poetic about the harrow nova au #sorry to keep waxing poetic about this but i really am rotted about them #like im going insane. tamsyn muir when i get you tamsyn when i catch you #griddlehark #tlt spoilers #harrowhark nonagesimus #i am you as you are me we are one and two and two and one #i cannot conceive of a universe without you.#should i forget you let my right hand also be forgotten; add more also. if aught but death part me and thee.#I FELL INTO THE WATER AND NOW IM FREE

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