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sassylegshayne · 1 year

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marry me, idiot. - chapter five

holy shit this chapter is nuts and kinda long but we have a lot to get through so I'm sorry?? idek what I'm apologizing for but whatever lmfao 🫶💓 enjoy!! mwah xx 3.1k words!!

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Everyone noticed it the next day. You and Spencer worked beside each other in complete silence. Josh felt on edge as he sat at his desk across from the two of you, the lack of chatter in the background of his editing was very weird.

You decided to give Spencer space, he would tell you how he felt whenever he was ready to. You respected his boundaries, and he respected yours, and that was the problem.

Kiana wanted to tear her hair out by the end of the week because the two of you still hadn't fucking talked about everything. She's been stuck listening to both of you complain about just how much you miss each other and couldn't bring herself to do anything about it.

Jackie's hopeless romantic heart couldn't take it, she's was right under Kiana for your number two supporter. Jackie and Kiana had planned a brainstorming lunch in Friday, determined to help you two get together.

The hope was that you two would admit your feelings, fall even more in love, and live happily ever after, but if you're just friends again, it'll do.

Jackie had presented an idea that made the woman across from her squeal in excitement. Kiana quickly set up a reservation as Jackie planned out just how she'd word her texts to you.

As soon as you had arrived home and parked, a message rang through your phone, the notification causing you to panic momentarily, your silence so suddenly interrupted for the first time in a while.

You didn't expect to be this lonely without Spencer. You had expected something, but you didn't think it would be this bad. You hadn't realized just how much time you spent with him until you were without it.

"hey, Ki's been super busy and I really wanna throw her a surprise b-day dinner at Buca's tn at seven if you can make it!"

Kiana and Jackie sat in their respective apartments, chewing their nails in anticipation for responses as Spencer received the same message as you.

The girls' facetime call felt silent as Jackie watched the both of you begin typing simultaneously, an eye roll well deserved before you both agreed, causing the women to cheer in excitement.

You rubbed your face, groaning as you agreed. Spence and you could put things aside for Kiana, it wouldn't be fair to her if your declined just because Spencer would be there.

Of course he would be there. It'd almost be weirder if he wasn't there. Honestly, if he didn't show up a piece of your group would be missing.

You took a deep breath before heading inside and getting yourself ready, pushing thoughts of Spencer to the side. Kiana was your priority tonight.

You'd been so wrapped up in all of this mess that your best friends birthday had slipped your mind, usually it was your forte to plan the gatherings, but it completely slipped your mind.

Ki's birthday was three days away, but Monday's are always packed for everyone, so dinner tonight, and you would bring her a cake and do a whole thing at work. Plenty of time to plan.

Spencer adjusted his grip on the steering wheel once more as he pulled into the last empty parking spot, letting his forehead rest against the wheel as soon as he shifted into park. His palms had been sweaty and shaky since he'd texted back Jackie earlier.

His nerves were set on high alert as soon as he'd finished reading. He has to be there for Kiana, no matter what was going on between the two of you.

He'd almost reached out and asked your for a truce on the night, but he's not even sure what he'd be calling a truce for. Both of you having long forgotten why you weren't speaking, but both of you were too nervous to break it.

It seemed like the universe wanted to give you a little nudge when you look up from your phone, your eyes meeting Spencer's across from you.

A smile splays across his lips and quickly disappears, replaced with a tight-lipped smile as he offers you a curt wave, getting out of his car quickly.

Your grip on the door handle tightens as you exit your own vehicle, trying your best to bite your tongue, afraid of what you might say.

Your former best friend.. former? Current? Who fucking knows anymore?

Spencer falls in stride silently beside you, your head tilted toward the ground, eyes watching as your feet fall into a rhythm, steps synchronized. It was hard to separate yourself from someone when they become that intertwined into your life.

Your hands brush ever so slightly as you approach the host stand, a small smile across your lips.

"Hi, we have a reservation under Jackie Uweh." Spencer offers, his smile matches yours as he fidgets with his hands, mindlessly picking at his cuticles with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

He didn't know what to do in this situation. His hands are normally on your hips, or his fingers intertwined with yours, so the air between the two of you sat awkwardly, uncharted territory for the both of you.

You're quickly led to the table, your brows furrowed in confusion as the hostess grabs two menus, throwing your look over your shoulder at Spencer out of habit as he mirrors your look. The two of you sit with quiet thank you's as the menus are placed before you, the table clearly not big enough for anyone but the pair of you.

Realization sets in as you adjust yourself in the booth a bit more than necessary, your heart racing as you avoid Spencer's eyes as long as you could.

But eventually, you find yourself looking up from the menu, your eyes finding his glowing blue eyes already gazing upon you, drinking in every detail.

Spencer thought he might tell you everything he's ever wanted to, until your waiter gives a bubbly introduction, noting the recent engagement between the two of you.

Your cheeks burn as you bashfully thank her, your fingers fidgeting with the simple band on your finger, a habit you'd recently noticed. Yot quick to order, throwing on the appetizer you and Spence normally split as well, a smile tugging at his lips.

You settle your hands into your lap, smiling brightly as Spencer chews his lip, his voice barely audible.

"Hey."

"Hi." You smile, a weight lifting from your shoulders as you slump into the seat, sighing in relief. Spencer laughs a bit, fiddling with the napkin in his hands as he finds himself relaxing. Your laughter mixing with his like music to his ears.

He missed this so much, every part of it. He missed his lips pressed lightly to your skin, the softness of your skin as you brushed hair out of his eyes, the blush on your cheeks each time he looked at you.

Spencer knew he couldn't make it through this dinner without teling you everything, now he just had to accept that.

It was time to throw everything he had at you, no longer concerned with holding back if he was going to confess. So he shook himself a bit before reaching across the table, taking your hands into his.

Your eyes trailed from your hands, up Spencer's arms, detailing every tattoo you wished you could trace until you meet his eyes. You were glad to be seated, worried your legs would buckle under your weight right now.

You were always flustered by Spencer, but this was on a whole new level. Butterflies danced about your stomach as your heart raced, you felt like you could pass out from sheer excitement as you squeeze his hands gently.

"I can't go without you for that long again, that sucked ass." You laughed softly, smiling as Spencer nodded in agreement.

"I never realized how little talk to anyone else, my phone hasn't died at work once, either." You grinned, ducking your head down in embarrassment. You had a bad habit of sending Spencer tons of stuff while seated next to him, rapidly draining his battery.

"I don't want it any other way, Y/N, don't worry." He was quick to soothe you, knowing that you might mistake his admiration for anger. He thought it was the cutest shit ever.

"Spencer, I don't wanna go another day without talking so can you please tell me what was wrong the other day?" You bargained, brows furrowed as you tilted your head at him.

Spencer stiffened, his hands leaving yours as your drinks and appetizer arrived, the relatively slow night allowing for quick service.

You smile as you slide a small plate in front of Spencer. Your waitress is quickly behind, happily taking your entree orders before disappearing back into the kitchen.

The moment was lost as you two grabbed bites of spicy shrimp and fried calamari, but the tension remained clear. Your hands brushed a few times as you made small talk, unaware of when the next interruption should come.

"Okay," Spencer began, noting your waiter preparing to take the order of a large party, taking his opportunity when he could. "Listen, I'm sorry didn't tell you sooner, I want you to know that I really regret that."

You nodded slowly, encouraging him to continue as you sipped your wate, unsure as to where this could lead.

"You're my best friend' Spencer grinned, sighing softly as you reddened once more, his heart racing as he wiped his palms on his pants. "You know that. You mean the absolute world to me, Y/N. You're the person I really do wanna spend the rest of my life with."

"Tve spent years by your side now and wouldn't trade it for the world. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He took a deep breath, smiling softly as his heart pounded in his chest.

Being in love with you has been the easiest thing in his life, it just feels so right, so perfect. Now all he could do was hope that you felt the same.

"I'm in love with you, Y/N." Spence spoke, biting his lip, eagerly awaiting your response. He felt like rything in his life had brought him to this point, even with the gentle push, or shove, from his friends.

You open you mouth to speak, your eyes wide and mind still reeling as your best friend sat before you. This wasn't a day you'd ever expected to see, and Spencer seemed so calm about it.

"It's all cool if you don't feel the same, I promise, dude." Spence spoke right as you were about to begin, causing you to chuckle nervously.

Spencer felt like there was a spear in his heart as you laughed, he was prepared for rejection but that was brutal.

You lean across the small booth, placing your hands lightly on Spencer's cheeks as your lips meet his.

The kiss is short and sweet, but the years of sparks were there. Everything you had ever wanted and more.

You're caught off guard by quick movements behind Spencer. A server rounds the corner, your own following behind with a soft smile.

Please don't walk this way... fuck.

You settle back down, smiling softly as Spencer meets your eyes with a dopey grin, slumped back into his seat. You kick his foot gently beneath the table, laughing as your waiter approached.

Spencer's mind was left in shambles, as was his heart. You didn't say it back, but you kissed him. You fucking kissed him. He had never been more confused and thrilled in his life.

As you open your mouth to speak, a plate is set before you, a smile whine leaving you as your face falls. You didn't want to wait, you wanted to say it back, but doing so over a view of your server's arms wasn't the right time.

The both of you were polite yet curt as you assured the server that you two would be okay, no refills, no cheese, thank you so much, oh my gosh will she ever leave?

Spencer was honestly still very surprised with the set up from Kiana and Jackie; pulling one over on the both of you deserved recognition. Granted, you were both extremely focused on each other, the outside world in a fog.

"You talk too much but I'm in love with you, too, Spencer." You grinned, the words tumbling from you as soon as your privacy had returned, your heart racing as you stared at him.

Spencer froze like a deer in headlights as he looked up to you, fork and knife resting upon his lasagna, prepared to take a bite. He was quick to set down his utensils, shufling a bit in his seat as he coughed a bit.

This was the best case scenario that he still didn't see coming. Spencer had assumed for so long that you loved him, just not in the same way. It was throwing him off to even think that you could.

"You do?" Your brows furrowed, laughing softly as Spencer questioned you.

"Yes, I do. I love you so much, dude." He grinned as you spoke, his eyes sparkling. "I love everything about you and have for a really, really long time."

Spencer nods, the grin unable to leave him as he takes his time to process everything. You've loved him for a long time, so what are the odds that you two fell in love around the same time?

If he could go back in time and kick his own ass, he would. There's no telling where you'd be right now, if only he'd told you sooner.

You felt like you could run for days with all of the excitement and nervousness coursing through your body. Everything was tingly as your hand met Spencer's, fingers intertwining as your heart raced.

"Okay:" Spencer chuckled, nodding as he finally spoke, unsure of where to go from here.

"Yeah," You nod back, laughing as you began to eat. "I'm happy."

The awkwardness was something new. Everything between the two of you before had been natural and felt fine, but there was a new, different air of tension hanging between the two of you.

The dinner continued on with lots of giggling and blushing, your small touches that had gone previously dismissed where now front and center in your mind.

Spencer was touching you every chance he got; his hand holding yours, brushing your hair out of your face, his knees endlessly bumping into yours beneath the table.

It felt like the first time all over again, Spencer knew he's set himself up to fall in love with you all over again. Everything felt different, everything felt new.

"So," You began as you dug your spoon into your shared chocolate cake, mentally comparing it to Josh's. "Do we tell everyone or do we keep this a secret?"

A grin immediately spread across Spencer's face and you could practically see the lightbulb going off above his head.

"Let's keep it a secret until the wedding." You set your fork down, slowly nodding as you finished your bite.

"Well, that certainly is an idea, Spence." You chuckled, covering your mouth. Definitely doesn't hold a flame to Josh's.

"I actually think that could be fun, but if we fold, we fold, okay?" You placed your elbow on the tabletop, pinky poised as you stared down your... boyfriend? Undecided.

Spencer nodded eagerly, grinning as he wrapped his pinky with yours. "We can be friends, at least, right?"

"Yes, obviously we can go back to normal but I guess.. yanno, couple stuff can stay in private." You laughed as you spoke, your cheeks burning brightly as your eyes darted everywhere. You quickly dug for another bite as a way to keep yourself quiet.

It was a strange territory for both of you. Neither of you had ever expected to be here, especially with the circumstances surrounding it, so navigating it was difficult.

"Okay, so we are a couple." Spencer stated, though it sounded more like a question. He took his turn at blushing as you nodded eagerly, a grin across your face.

"Yeah, we're pretending to be engaged, actually engaged, and secretly dating. I think it's pretty simple." You laughed, as Spencer nodded.

"I'm sorry, that's on me." He held his hands up in defense as you two dug back into the cake.

The office seemed to have a strange air when you arrived the next morning. Saturday's were normally pretty empty, most shoots wrapped earlier in the week, and videos prepped well ahead of the weekends.

The usual small group of cast and crews were there; Josh sat at his desk, headphones in as he edited an upcoming video for the Games' channel featuring Shayne and Spencer.

You smiled as you settled into your seat, your eyes glancing to the clock. It was second nature for you to be early. It was far less stressful than being late.

Spencer, on the other hand, strolled in fifteen minutes late, two coffees in hand as he sat beside you. You finished editing the audio of a particularly loud scream of Shayne's, thankful for the excuse to remove your headphones.

You sighed, setting them aside as you smiled at your boyfriend. Your best friend. Spencer. Holy shit, your best friend is your boyfriend, holy fuck.

It was obviously going to take you quite a while to get over all of the butterflies, if you ever do. Finally getting what you've yearned for for so long was definitely weird, but you could get used to it.

He grinned at you, leaning in as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, setting your cup before you.

"Hi, love" You smiled, taking a sip as Spencer chuckled softly. As you turned to him, you caught sight of Jackie strolling very, very slowly past the open office door.

Jackie waved, grinning brightly. The two of you reluctantly wave back, you tried your best to hide your giggles.

You shot her a playful glare as she froze for a moment. Spencer turned to look over his shoulder, a disappointed look across his face.

She raised her brows, offering two thumbs up. You finaly broke, laughing as you nodded your head, mirroring her pose. You glance to Spencer to find him shaking his head with a furrowed brow.

You shove his shoulder softly, laughing as he turns back to you, a grin across his face.

"I think she got the message."

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mapoeggplant · 1 month

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skip to loafer chapter 60 analysis and brief character study on shima // spoilers

a light and fun chapter that hides something between the lines: how frankenstein's loneliness and revolt becomes a mirror for shima's feelings

(since the translation is very fresh, very very close to the release of the chapter, i will try to use the raws more. this is a way to make you curious to read the translation and also to support sensei in a way! hope you guys understand)

it's actually funny how much i'm surprised by every skip to loafer chapter. of course, some things i feel were expected to happen, but others appear suddenly and drive me completely crazy — that's the gift of takamatsu, who’s able to have fun with her own characters to the point of unfolding a delicate writing, that's much deeper than it appears to be.

i think it's cute and fun how shima's jealousy starts to be used as a comic relief in the story. it's something very innocent, which doesn't harm either party, but rather makes something new bubble up inside him, a feeling he wasn't familiar with before. he knows how it hurts to see mitsumi with other people and how he wants to be close to her, but he still doesn't have the necessary repertoire to express exactly what he feels.

and then, to add an additional element to the plot, sensei chooses frankenstein as the play for the school festival, shima's second great performance. she chooses a story of loneliness and desire, of a monster made of scraps of other people who tirelessly seeks his space in the world while being denied by his own creator — doesn't that sound a little familiar to you?

shima is, whether we like it or not, a fragment of other people's expectations. he is everything his mother wanted him to be, but also his broken expectations. he’s also made up of all the desires he represses and the times he was used by people as an object to be displayed. shima is a monster made of other people's expectations who seeks in other people's warmth a way to find a cure for his own loneliness.

and this ends up being even more explicit when he shows that he is truly happy and fulfilled when acting in the play. for the first time, he's not doing this for his mother or any adult's validation: he's doing it in the name of himself, his wants and his own way. he is slowly making peace with acting and his complex feelings surrounding it.

but, like it or not, shima still hasn't gotten rid of all his traumas, and this becomes slightly clear when sensei chooses to make a game with the lines of two different characters: shima and his internal monologue versus ujiie, a person who has slowly been causing him some complex feelings.

"i thought to myself it would be nice if i could perform this role better than anyone else" followed by "isn't that the bare minimum?". it's as if ujiie, unintentionally and through no fault of his own, was embodying a mixture of shima's personal ghosts and all the expectations that were thrown at him throughout his life.

isn't that the bare minimum? you've lived your whole life playing the role of someone who wasn't you, of a puppet. so...isn't that the least you could do? facing the scientist who created the monster, wouldn't that be a way of being able to face everything that was built in its place?

i think it's beautiful the way that sensei plays between shima's old feelings and these new ones that he's been discovering little by little. yes, he is finding happiness in acting again, finding his space in the world, but he is also developing a new feeling that he has never felt for anyone before. seeing mitsumi surrounded by so many other people gives him a somewhat irritating itch, which he himself doesn't know how to resolve — after all, he's a teenager, no teenager really knows how to resolve such complex feelings.

this makes him expose his neediness. seeing mitsumi, the girl he likes so much, surrounded by people who aren't him, makes him act like a needy teenager who doesn't know how to ask for attention.

different from what the girls thought at first, i don't think shima tried, in any way, to manipulate mitsumi. i really agree with yasaka on this part and i'll add even more: i believe that even he doesn't really know what he's doing. not even he knows exactly how he feels about mitsumi. but what he feels, at the moment, is an enormous desire to be with her and have her all to himself. he just needs to find a way to express his feelings in a clearer and more rational way (but i think that will take a while). It’s almost like the monster on his journey to find his beloved.

now about the other parts of the chapter: seeing the girls come together to discuss something that mitsumi was so afraid to tell before makes my heart fill with joy. seeing a group of girls so unique, so concerned about each other and so comfortable opening their hearts to each other makes me happy in a surreal way. i love, love, love the way in which sensei develops their friendship and how she always, always tries to show how much the girls are willing to help mitsumi even without knowing exactly how.

reading "yeah, none of us have that much experience with dating" is so cute to me. they are teenagers, they are also, for the first time, facing a wave of new feelings, new challenges — and the great luck is that they have each other to support and seek help.

i'm also very happy how yazaka is, little by little, gaining new friends and opening up more. i confess that in the past i didn't know exactly how to interpret her character, but now i want her to get more and more involved with girls. she deserves to have a group of friends who count on her to express doubts and seek help, just as she also needs that same support system.

well, as the girls said "all we can do is watch over them" and that's exactly all we can do too. i believe that this journey of self-discovery, for both shima and mitsumi, still has a long way to go and i think this is extremely special. this just shows how much they both love each other as people and are willing to try to meet each other halfway so that all their feelings are equalized.

once again, we have an amazing chapter in our hands. sensei keeps getting better and better, surprising us every damn time. i'm just so happy to be able to read such beautiful story and lucky to experience all of this. we're so damn lucky. remember: please support sensei if you can, by buying the chapters (via comic days or the online version of the magazine or the volumes). thank you SO MUCH for reading!! will love to discuss more with you all 💛

#skip to loafer #skip and loafer #skip to loafer chapter 60 #skip to loafer spoiler #skip and loafer spoilers #stl spoilers #A SHIMA CHAPTER IS A ME CHAPTER #I COULD ANALYZE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM FOR DAYS #MY BABY MY SON #I LOVE HIM SM #AND I LOVE FEMALE FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH #TAKAMATSU THE GENIUS YOU ARE #duckmetas

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