#i paused the episode here and actually said 'what the fuck?!' out loud

[thelondonfolly]

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche episode 1 #do you ever look at something and just wanna start swearing profusely? #i paused the episode here and actually said 'what the fuck?!' out loud #like... holy shit man #get your face away from me #myedit

[pedrito-friskito]

three…two…one… - dieter bravo x fem!reader

❄️’tis the season❄️

summary: you and dieter throw a new year’s party.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI, smut, fluff, unprotected p-in-v, dieter’s dirty mouth, mentions of drinking/drugs/classic dieter things, this is SUPER SELF-INDULGENT AND I DON’T CARE BUT I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH AND JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY OKAY THAT’S IT THAT’S ALL

a/n: the beginning of this fic genuinely made me laugh out loud when I wrote it. thank you all for the love and support always (I’ll make a sappy new years post separately) and I know I’m a day late, but enjoy! (also special props to @mandoblowmybackout for giving me the pizza idea 😏)

“I wanna throw a party.”

Well, that’s definitely not what you were expecting.

“What did you just say?”

Dieter pauses, head snapping up, eyes flicking from where they’d been trained on your bare tits up to your face. His eyes are bloodshot, pupils blown wide, and his cheeks are rosy, a slick of sweat at his temple. “Huh?”

He’s stoned. You both are, truthfully. The last few weeks have been a blur of cardboard, tinsel, and red wine, flitting from one house to the next. You were Dieter’s plus one to a slew of holiday parties (which went much better than your Halloween escapades had, mainly because it was time spent with Dieter’s actual friends, people he trusted, not a bunch of strangers trying to get on his good side) and, in a not-so-shocking twist, a Christmas party thrown by your closest pals. 

They had been more than shocked when you announced you were bringing Dieter fucking Bravo along with you, doubly shocked when you told them you were moving in together. It was something to get used to, the talking about him, the calling him your…boyfriend? Partner? Something like that. But up until now, you’ve been so used to keeping it hush hush, reducing your relationship to what it had been, not what it’s turning into. And your closest friend had a keen eye on Dieter, knowing exactly what had gone down at Halloween.

“You’re sure moving in with him is the right thing?”

“There’s nothing I’m more sure of, trust me.”

She’d tilted her head to the side, stared at you a long moment. “You seem happy. Almost too happy.”

“I am,” you said, barking a laugh. “I’m really fucking happy.”

Parties, friends, a quick appearance by your parents — which Dieter had handled with such composure you had to restrain yourself from sticking your tongue down his throat in front of your mother — and the end of the era that was your apartment. You were officially moved out as of Boxing Day, the 27th of December was spent at a work party, and now…you’re officially living together.

The end of a long few weeks, both of you dead on your feet and desperate for a little reprieve, Dieter had declared it a night for celebrating. A healthy-sized joint had been shared on the balcony, reminiscent of the first time you’d set foot in his condo, and you’d swapped smoke, shotgunning between heavy giggles and tired smiles.

“I’m really happy you’re here, baby.”

“Me, too.”

Realizing this would be the first official meal in your now shared space, you spent nearly half an hour trying to decide what to order. Dieter had pouted at that, telling you he wanted to cook you something, but he’d nearly tripped over his own feet coming in from the balcony and almost ripped the curtains down in the process, and the last thing you want to do your first official night is have to call the fire department or an ambulance.

You settled on a giant meat lover’s pizza with extra cheese, bottles of root beer, garlic sticks, the works. You ate sprawled on the rug in front of his fireplace, licking grease from your fingers, watching old episodes of Family Guy, and Dieter’s Stewie impression made you laugh so hard you nearly spewed root beer out of your nose.

It was perfect.

After the pizza had been demolished, things took a turn. It had started innocent enough, the pair of you cuddled up on the couch, your head tucked under Dieter’s chin, his arm wrapped securely around your waist. Something else came on tv, but you were barely paying attention at that point, Dieter having tipped your chin in his direction, hungry kisses that tasted vaguely of pizza pressed to your mouth.

One thing led to another, and before you knew it, you were sprawled on the chaise end of the sofa, stripped of all your clothes. He’d started with your knees hooked over his shoulders, face buried between your legs. He’d pumped you full of three fingers, lips sealed around your clit, mumbling into you the whole while.

“Pussy tastes so fucking good, baby,” he rasped, curling his knuckles, making you keen. “God, you’re so good for me, aren’t you? Taste like a fucking dream.”

You’d cum so hard you saw stars the first time, your head thrown back on the couch, hands buried in his wayward curls. He’d worked you through it, lapping around where his fingers were splitting you open, pulling them out only to replace them with his tongue.

Dieter growled when you yanked at his shoulders, clawing at his t-shirt until he scrambled up the couch, shoving his lounge shorts down over his ass, pulling the hem of his shirt up and over his head. He dropped onto his elbows a second later, covering your mouth with his as he slid into you, both of you stark naked, thrusting so hard the couch slid across the hardwood. You were lost in it, chasing Dieter’s mouth, arms hooked around his shoulders, keeping him close to you.

And then—

“I wanna throw a party.”

He starts laughing, clearly realizing that he said the words out loud, but his pace doesn’t falter. He grins broadly, leaning up on his knees slightly, letting his hands skim along your shoulders and down over his chest, squeezing at your breasts, thumbs swiping your nipples.

“A party, baby,” he continues, glassy eyes raking down your body, trained on the spot where you’re joined together. “New Year’s, yeah? Wanna celebrate this.” He punctuates the word with the drop of his thumb, a slow drag over your clit. 

You make a choked sound, back arching slightly. “My pussy?”

The corner of his mouth quirks. “Something this good should be celebrated,” he says, swiping at your clit again. “God, you feel amazing, you know that? Fuck, I love you.”

“Dieter.”

“The New Year, baby,” he says, eyes flicking back up to yours. “Your friends, my friends, the people we actually give a shit about. Let’s celebrate it. This. Us.” He runs his other hand up your side, curls his fingers around your ribs, rubs a harder circle around your nerves. “Get all dressed up, drink champagne, the whole thing.”

You laugh despite it all, sliding your hand up his arm, squeezing at his bicep. “I’m used to New Years in my sweatpants.”

“Wear whatever you want, baby girl,” he purrs, leaning down and nipping at your lips. “I’m just gonna peel it off you at midnight anyway.”

+

You think he’ll forget, that you’ll wake up the next morning and his sudden desperate need to throw a party would have subsided, but you instead wake up to an empty bed. At eleven in the morning. Supremely uncharacteristic of Dieter, who usually lays in bed until the last possible moment, trying to keep you hostage every single morning.

Snagging one of his t-shirts off the bed, you pad out of the bedroom to find him perched at one of the barstools. He’s got his laptop open in front of him, a giant mug of coffee in his hand, and his phone pressed to his ear. “Yeah, hi, do you guys do those little fuckin’ pigs-in-a-blanket things?”

You just burst out laughing.

Two days later, and the condo is full of friendly faces. It’s by far your favourite party you’ve been to with Dieter, made all the more special that you’re throwing it together, in the home you both live in. You make the rounds, play hostess, resist the urge to go hide in the bathroom. You love the holidays, really, but the constant stream of people, the small talk and the drinking and the late nights, it’s weighing on you.

But when you saw the spark in Dieter’s eye as he called caterers and made drink menus and decided on a guest list, you couldn’t say no.

You still haven’t had time to unpack, and all of your boxes are shoved in the guest room, but even that doesn’t stop it from feeling crowded and overwhelming. You’re stopped by a few friends, remnants of your old life mixing with your new one, and you’re grateful, having a quick conversation before someone else is calling your name, pulling you away.

It’s quarter to midnight when you know you need a moment, and you excuse yourself from the people you’d been talking to and head straight for the bedroom. Your dress feels too tight, the necklace you’d worn with it making you want to claw your head off. Heaving a breath, you toss it onto the chest of drawers, reaching for the zipper on your dress as you head into the closet.

Toeing off your shoes, you reach for one Dieter’s t-shirts, the fluffy jacket you’d thrifted for him, a pair of leggings. You’re halfway into the leggings when you glance over and see the Mandalorian armour he’d worn on Halloween. It’s piled on the floor, the jumpsuit wrinkled and pieces of metal scattered. 

The helmet is now sitting beside his Oscar in the living room; your idea.

You already know the closet is going to be a project, a complete reorganization if you are gonna fit anything besides your underwear in with Dieter’s things (something you doubt he would mind). Pulling the leggings on all the way, you reach for the armour, gathering the pieces of metal first, stacking them on the shelves beside a pair of custom Crocs you know you’ve seen Dieter wearing around the apartment. 

The jumpsuit is next, and as you pull the fabric up off the floor, something tumbles out of it. Your eyes track it as it falls to the carpet. A little black box, perfectly square and shiny on top. You cock your head, putting the jump suit to the side as you sink down and reach for it. It must be a watch or something, but you realize as your fingers close around the box that it’s too small to be a watch, that it’s the perfect size for—

“Holy shit.”

Your breath stalls in your throat and for a moment, you pause. 

Should you open it? There’s a chance that it’s not at all what you think it is, but there’s also a chance that it is one thousand fucking percent exactly what you think it is.

What if he has a plan? Wait…then why was it in the Mando suit? Was he planning to ask at Halloween, before everything went down the way that it did? When had he bought the damn thing?

Your mind is a flurry of questions, a tiny voice screaming at you to just open the damn box! until you hear Dieter’s voice, snapping you out of your reverie so hard you have to shake your head.

“Baby? What are you doing back here?”

You nearly drop the box, shrieking as he steps into the closet before you have a chance to drop the box, hide it, put it back in the jumpsuit, anything. “Fuck, D, you scared me!”

He stares at you a long moment, eyes jumping between your face and the box over and over and over again. “Whatcha got there?”

You’re caught red-handed; there’s no getting out of this one. “I was putting your Mando costume away.”

Dieter chuckles, takes a half-step towards you, the closet door swinging shut behind him. “I can see that.”

“I was just putting it away,” you say again, and he takes another step towards you, until he’s close enough to put a hand on your hip, “and this fell out.”

“Oh, it fell,” he repeats, and his free hand moves to cup yours, the box held aloft in your palm. “It’s been there for a while now.”

“Did you forget you had it?” you ask, and there’s a crack in your voice you’re not expecting, a new sort of desperation crawling up the back of your throat. Is this actually fucking happening?

Slowly, Dieter shakes his head. You bottom lip trembles as he leans in and kisses you softly, squeezing his fingers around yours, around the box. “Not for a second.”

Realization sweeps through you, and you wince. “Oh god, you were gonna propose at midnight, weren’t you?” When he doesn’t answer, you take it as a yes, groaning. “Oh fuck, I fucked it all up, didn’t I? Fuck, Dieter, I’m sorry, baby, I’m—”

He kisses you again, cutting off your words as he pulls you against him. He plucks the box from your hands, snapping it open, and all your breath shoots from your lungs in a gush, knees nearly giving out underneath you. It’s beautiful, salt-and-pepper diamond winking back at you. Rose gold, flanked by two tinier diamonds on either side, an interesting octagonal cut that catches the light from every direction.

“Oh my god.”

“After the Halloween party,” he says, his voice dropping low, “I was gonna get McDonald’s on the way home. I was gonna get you a strawberry milkshake and put the ring on the straw, and then I was gonna write my question on a napkin and give it to you.” He gives a little chuckle, and his hand is at the small of your back now, holding you close. “Obviously, that didn’t work out how I planned it.”

There are tears in your eyes, thick and crawling up the back of your throat. Happy tears, the happiest you think you’ve ever felt. “No, it didn’t,” is all you can manage to mumble out.

“Then, I was gonna do it that day when you gave back the keys to your apartment, but you were so sad, and it didn’t feel like the right time. And then you agreed to this stupid fucking party, even though I knew you didn’t want to, and I thought now, but this—” He plucks the ring out of the box, reaches for your left hand. “—this is better.”

Vaguely, you can hear the sounds of the party, people yelling that the ball is about to drop, that it’s almost midnight, that the New Year is almost here.

Dieter smiles, and it’s a smile that’s now familiar to you. It’s love and it’s light and the man is beaming. “You know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, baby. And I know we’re not easy, or conventional, and maybe people are gonna say this is way too fucking fast, I don’t know. But I know that I love you, and I wanna have a life with you.”

People are counting down now, shouting the numbers as they tick by. Your heartbeat is in your ears, thumping loudly with every second that passes.

10…9…8…7…

“Y’know, I’m supposed to get down on one knee for this,” Dieter murmurs, but you’ve got a death grip on his shoulder, refusing to let him move.

6…5…4…

“Ask me.”

He grins.

“Will you marry me, baby?”

3…2…1…

“Yes.”

Happy New Year!

Dimly, you hear the celebrations in your living room, the whooping and cheering of your friends. Your heartbeat is still thundering, and your hand is shaking as he slides the ring onto your finger.

A perfect fucking fit.

As soon as it hits your knuckle, your arms are around his neck, mouth seeking his, knotting your fingers in his hair. You can feel his smile, a broad grin against your lips as he crushes you to his chest. It’s tight enough to lift you off your feet, your legs automatically lifting around his hips as you kiss him.

His tongue tastes like champagne, and you’re drunk off the feeling of him, the taste of him, the new foreign weight of the ring on your finger. Holy fucking shit. The kiss is just as sweet as it always is, but there’s something about it that feels different now, something more intense, new territory for the two of you to suss out together.

Dieter carries you out of the closet, and it’s only then that you realize you’re only half-dressed, in the leggings you’d thrown on and your bra. He’s got one arm around your waist, other hand pressed between your shoulders, and your lips don’t break as he walks towards the bed and lays you out on the mattress.

“Happy New Year, baby,” he says against your lips, still smiling, and so are you. You’re on Cloud 9, champagne high, over the moon, walking on air, every fucking cliché you’ve ever heard in your life.

You clasp your hands behind his neck, fingers automatically seeking out the ring on your left hand, rubbing you thumb over the diamond. “Happy New Year, Dieter.”

He gives you one last lingering kiss, your whole body tingling with it before he pulls away.

“You wanna go tell your friends?”

You shake your head no. “Not yet. I want us to celebrate it first.”

He nods, an understanding look in his eye. “Wait here,” he whispers, grabbing your left hand, bringing your knuckles to his lips, kissing your ring. “I’m gonna go kick all these fucking people out, and then I’m gonna make love to my fiancée, you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

That beaming smile is back, and it sends a flurry of butterflies through your stomach. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you.”

As soon as the door clicks shut, you can’t hold back anymore. It’s that little girl moment, the kicking feet and the squealing and blushing so hard you think your cheeks are on fire. You can’t stop staring at your ring, and you just hope Dieter moves fast out.

—————

if you’re curious what the ring actually looks like, my inspo is HERE.

#calculated risks #‘tis the season #my fics #dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #dieter bravo x fem!reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo smut #dieter bravo fluff #dieter bravo fanfiction #the bubble #the bubble fic #three…two…one…

[i-smoke-chapstick]

I was grazing through the jervis x reader tag when I stumbled across your account. I read over your rules and what fandoms(characters) you write for and was wondering if I could either get headcanons or just a story, whichever is easier, if Jervis tetch (Benedict Samuel’s version) spotting fem or gn reader who has dwarfism( and if you’re not sure with writing this, it can just be a really short reader), hanging about with Jim (Either can be Jim’s sibling or close friend up to you) and is instantly just “😍🫣”. This can be during the breakout episode with the j squad. He starts trying to get close to them without getting arrested by Jim, leaving rhyme like letters for them, flowers, etc. Reader takes the letters to Jim who instantly knows who it is cause who else rhymes like that? Reader is then unsure about Jervis’s actions, thinking they aren’t real feelings since he is technically mad and messed up in the head and they are hella shy and insecure for obvious reasons.

I just realized I’m reflecting a little here. Sorry 💀. Basically I have dwarfism and it’s lovely to read others interpretations on people who have it. Not just readers who are short but actually have the disability.

You can either continue from here or cut it to an ending btw. Sfw or NSFW is both fine with me. Thank ya tons! And I’ll understand if ya can’t or just don’t want too!

'WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME TOMORROW,

-GOTHAM!JERVIS TETCH X DWARF!READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Jervis is intrigued, obsessed, and very deeply in love.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!jervis x dwarf!female reader. Anon who sent this- thank you for entrusting me!! I absolutely love obsessed Jervis teehee. warning for pretty obsessive behavior. (jer has no sense of boundaries)

♫ “Tonight, you're mine completely. / Can I believe the magic of your sighs?” Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? by Amy Winehouse

You've heard the whispers from Jim. He's been freaking the fuck out, for lack of better words. Not just one mad man on the loose- but three. You tell him there's a mad men on the loose every other day...it's Gotham. He just sighs.

Three of the big bads escaped Arkham last night- only one of which who you'd met personally a few months back. Though, you remember it like it was yesterday.

You were in the GCPD with Gordan and Harvey when it happened. You typically avoided the place- the guys there were assholes. You heard all the same comments before, about how you looked. Thank god for Harvey and Jim- especially Harvey, who had chewed a cadet out for laughing.

Jim had holed himself up with a girl named Alice Tetch. He had advised you came to the GCPD that day, horrible idea, you had to admit. "It's for your own protection." He said, but had left you out of the interrogation room by yourself.

You facepalmed as you watched the officers do there work awkwardly. Every now and again you'd catch one staring and you'd grimace.

It came to a head when you heard a strange circus-like music playing. And then your jaw dropped when two wrestlers stood up on the desks, followed by the loud intercom of a voice overhead.

"Ladies and gentlemen! It is with great excitement that we welcome you to our show..."

And then a cop fell from the top floor and splat on Harvey's desk. Yep. Great idea Jim.

You felt yourself shaking- watching the scene unfold before you in chaos and horror. You backed up into the door- unable to move or run.

Suddenly- turning to your left, a man came into your vision. You had to look up to see him; tall and dark with a top hat.

He cocked his head as he looked down on you, eyebrows pulled together. You swallowed, and after a beat of silence, a strange smile broke out on his face.

He seemed to be studying you, paused in his movements.

"Hello." He greeted, curtly. It was as though he was making a mental note of you. Before you knew it, you were being pushed to the side- and made his way right into the interrogation room.

You feared for Jim, but he always had it handled. So...you ran towards a back exit and booked it.

Your luck would have it that now, in the present, Jervis Tetch (that's what you eventually learned his name was) was fiending for a new obsession. That just happened to be you.

The Arkham breakout happened just earlier last night, and you've found numerous letters, flowers, even an antique pocket watch, and light blue dress tailored to your size. Every where you went in your day-to-day a gift was tastefully and subtly placed.

"With every beat, my soul's unrest,

In dreams of you, I am obsessed,

In Gotham's night, you're my desire,

My precious door-mouse, in this world of fire."

Okay- well, a bit cheesy. The letters read...interesting poems. You found it strangely flattering.

You hadn't figured who it was until you begrudgingly went back to the GCPD to tell Jim- who gaped at you. At first, he was hellbent that this was Jervis trying to lure you in, kill you as punishment for the whole Alice situation.

You too found the whole situation confusing. But as the days continued to go by with more and more and more unique gifts and oddly heartfelt poems, it was getting a tad too real.

No, Jervis was most definitely infatuated with you.

Now, you're in your apartment. And you hear a gentle knock at the door.

You open a single latch, allowing you to peak out the creak before letting the visitor in.

You have to look up once again to see him, and you're blood runs both cold and hot and the man. He must stand at least two feet taller than you- looking deep into your eyes with the smile of a gentleman.

"May I come in?" He chirps, gleefully. Against your better judgement, you step away from the door, standing on your toes to unlock it.

He makes his way in, hands clasped together. He scans your apartment, noting his gifts strewn about. Even the flowers he bought you in a vase. His smile widens.

"Hello, my dear." He turns to you, happily. "I see you've gotten my gifts."

"Um, yeah." You manage to speak, sucking your teeth and fidgeting. Before you know it, one of your small hands is being engulfed by his own. He kneels down before you, so you're on the same level.

"Well?" He prompts, squeezing your hand gently. "What do you think, my dear door-mouse?"

"They were....really nice, actually." You speak- and flinch out of his hold. His brows furrow when you do this.

The first thing to run through his mind is that you don't reciprocate the feelings of infatuation. That's how Alice was. He wouldn't have any qualms hypnotizing you, that's for sure. But it would be nice to be appreciated.

You can tell by the offended look on his face what he's thinking, and rush to explain.

"No, no! I...I loved them. I guess, I'm just not sure why you're interested in me?" You nod to yourself. Not just referencing your disability- but your lack of any real conversation with the man.

His face lights up again in understanding.

"Ah! Trivial, my dear. On the contrary, I find you maddeningly lovely." He speaks- and forces his hand onto yours again.

All you can do is nod- a million thoughts racing in your head. You're sure he's crazy, but you find it...kind of nice.

He's incredibly handsy, sitting on his knees in front of you, manhandling you a bit. Before you know it, he's pulling you into him, spouting words of affirmation and nuzzling into you like a cat.

Briefly, you think of what Jim might have to say if he finds out about this and tense.

You realize this is just the beginning.

#x reader #jervis tetch x reader #gotham #gotham villains x reader #gotham jervis #jervis tetch #mad hatter #gotham mad hatter #mad hatter x reader #dc comics #batman x reader #batman rouges #batman rouges gallery #gotham x reader #batman #batman rogues

[annaofaza]

Vash decides a few hours in that professional mixers are not his thing.

Or maybe it's this particular group that's a bust. He loves Nai, but the people he hangs out with are... something else; one blue-haired guy cornered him about "changing the world" and "showing the way" with his pupils just a bit too wide and his presence far too close. Another guy with a tuba tried to fight him over his senior thesis on UN peacekeeping tactics, and when he'd tried to hide in the bathroom, he'd received a loud "FUCK OFF" from someone smoking in the only closed stall.

Nai is thriving in the competitive, cutthroat future CEOs environment, and Vash just has a stomachache from eating twelve quiches and almost all the dessert charcuterie board.

He texts Nai heading out, meet back home before beating his retreat out the back door, pulling out his phone. Nai drove them here, so he's going to either have to Uber or find a viable bus route, but between the peak prices soaring with every second and the "forty minutes of walking" on the shortest routes home, neither really appeal to him. He saw some hipster doughnut shop nearby, so maybe he can at least make the way back more bearable—

"Hey, blondie."

Vash whips his head up, hand moving instinctively to the small, unused canister of pepper spray Meryl had given him after freshman orientation ("Trust me, you'll need it."), but pauses when he sees him.

He's under a streetlight, back against the brick wall, playing with a lighter. It's not a cheap BIC one, either; it looks like real silver, and the way it flashes through the twiddling fingers makes Vash pause like a moth to the flame.

The guy's handsome, too, even if he's wearing sunglasses at night—and Vash, although he's seen many Dateline episodes that begin like this, emits a "Hey."

"Hey yourself," the guy says, "escaping the party?"

Vash laughs. "Yeah. I came with my brother for moral support, but he seems to be doing okay on his own. You?"

"Same here—though mine wanted to try to walk around on his own for a bit. I'm here in case he needs to be bailed out."

Vash smiles. "That's nice of you."

"Hey, he's my little brother; I'd do anything for him. Except maybe stand in the same room as some guy talking about the pros of nuclear and biochemical weapons. "

Vash laughs awkwardly. "That might have been my brother. But I swear he's sane. I think."

The guy chuckles. "I'll take your word for it. By the way, do you have...?" He gestures to his lighter.

"Oh, no, I don't," Vash apologizes. "I don't smoke."

"Damn. Well, worth a shot." The guy grimaces, but sticks his hand out. "Sorry, usually I ask someone's name before I start shaking them down. I'm Wolfwood."

"Vash."

"Vash," Wolfwood repeats, drawing out the syllable. "Looking good."

"Have we met before?"

"I would have remembered someone as beautiful like you."

Oh, a real charmer. Vash isn't opposed to it, though. "Same here—" he begins, lowering his voice.

Then it hits him. "You're the asshole from the bathroom! You told me to fuck off!"

Wolfwood bursts out laughing. "Did I? Well, I'm sorry about that; I was avoiding that blue-haired guy who was clutching my arm and asking me what faith meant to me."

"Oh. I get it now. Do you think he's a Scientologist? He had that energy."

"Has to be. Definitely something evangelical. I'm familiar with that." Wolfwood plucks something underneath his shirt, frowning.

"Oh?" Vash doesn't know if he should pry further, but Wolfwood shrugs.

"Grew up in a cult, actually."

"I'm sorry?"

"It was a long time ago," Wolfwood mutters, then flicks off the lighter with a sharp click. "But we got out in the end."

Vash moves to lean against the wall, feeling the bricks dig into his back. Wolfwood is a comforting presence, somehow, next to him. "It must have been tough, especially with your brother, too."

"Like I said, I'd do anything for him." Wolfwood shakes his head. "But this isn't the conversation I want to be having with you."

Vash takes the opening: "And just what do you want to discuss? Politics? Etiquette? Global—" His eyes veer to the curb, where an undoubtedly fine motorcycle is parked. "Or that?"

Wolfwood grins, excitement dancing in his eyes. "Angelina? She was rescued from the scrap heap and restored. You know about bikes?"

"No," Vash confesses. "I haven't even ridden one."

"No?" Wolfwood straightens up and slips his lighter into his pocket. Vash mentally sighs; no cigarettes, no bikes, that's as good as three strikes, he's out. At least doughnuts haven't let him down...

But Wolfwood surprises him.

He turns his head and crooks his finger at Vash. "That settles it. Let's go."

"Weren't you supposed to wait for your brother?" Vash asks, heart jumping.

"We can just take a few laps around the parking lot. Coming?"

Yes!

But Vash puts his hands on his hips. "Do you have a helmet?" Some things Rem instilled in him still remain.

Wolfwood snorts. "Yeah. Look in the basket."

Vash opens it and sees exactly one. "What, nothing for you? Don't you care about your head?"

Wolfwood sighs. "You're sounding a lot like Livio. Do you want a ride, or are you going to quote danger statistics, too?"

Normally, Vash would, but... He's a simple man in the end. "Just be gentle, " he warns, with a mischievous smile as he buckles the helmet, "It's my first time."

Smirking, Wolfwood swings one leg over the seat and pats behind him. "Certainly. Arms around me tight, sweetheart."

The engine roars to life, seat purring and vibrating underneath his thighs, and Vash grins, nestling his chest tight against Wolfwood's back. "Like you had to ask."

#vashwood #trigun #my fic #totally based off a few of my mixer/party experiences #unfortunately the dude did not have a helmet at all so i did not take that offer but vash gets to have fun

[whysamwhy123]

I don't normally do this but fuck it, I'm Unwell and need the distraction. Here's a random OrangeHook drabble/ficlet whatever that just oozed out of my brain in the last ten minutes. Enjoy? Maybe?

''Damn. Who's that?''

Orange's head turns as Hook takes a seat on the couch next to him. His eyes are fixed on the woman on screen. Orange doesn't blame him.

''Stacy Keibler.''

Orange had been in a nostalgic mood lately so he was watching a bunch of old episodes of Smackdown. He didn't think Hook was paying attention, but he guessed a woman like that is hard to ignore.

Hook hums, transfixed as Stacy makes her entrance, that slooooow way she'd go through the ropes while the cameras loving caressed those long legs of hers.

''I like her,'' Hook says, simply.

Orange lets a little huff of laughter out. ''You like blondes.''

Hook smiles. ''I'm a gentleman.''

Orange shakes his head emphatically. But the young man is too busy ogling Stacy to acknowledge it.

''That was a reference you probably don't get it,'' Hook says. ''You see, there's an old movie called Gentlemen Prefer -''

''I know what it's a reference to,'' Orange cuts him off. This kid, he swears.

Hook still cannot tear his eyes away from the beauty on the screen. Orange is having more fun watching Hook, the way his eyes slowly follow her whenever she's on screen, the way his shoulders lower whenever they cut away and then raise the second she's back. It's like he's watching himself back in his teenage years.

''Those legs,'' Hook astutely observes.

Orange gives him a look and this time, Hook actually glances over and catches it.

He smiles at him, ''What? Does it make you uncomfortable when I talk about women like that?''

Orange snorts. ''Kid, I was checking out women while you were still in diapers.'' Orange looks back at the screen and yeah. Yeah. He absolutely cannot blame the kid for staring. ''Specifically that one.''

''Good to know we have even more in common,'' Hook says.

A vague memory occurs to Orange, something he's not entirely sure happened but if it did, it's another weird connection between the person beside him and the person on screen. ''I think your dad put the Taz-mission on her once?''

Hook laughs out loud. ''I'll bet. He was probably mad that she's taller than him.'' He paused briefly. ''Those legs.''

''You already said that.''

''It bares repeating. She a wrestler?''

''Kinda? More of a valet.''

Hook nods and his teeth start to worry his bottom lip for a second. It does something to Orange. Always does.

''I'm thinking I need a valet,'' Hook says.

Orange throws his hands up. ''Alright, you twisted my arm - I'll do it. Let me find a pair of booty shorts and I'll be good to go.''

It earns him another even louder laugh. It also earns him Hook's full attention, Keibler be damned.

''I know that was a joke, but...I'd like to see it.''

Orange cracks up, embarrassingly loud. ''You and no one else. But nah, I think you'd suit 'em better. You've got nicer legs than she does.''

Hook's reaction is priceless - a man torn between his desire to defend the honor of his new crush and his own ego demanding that he take the compliment and run with it. In the end, he settles for a smirk and a shrug. Orange returns the smirk.

There's a single beat, before Hook's on him, hands capturing his face, feverishly kissing him while grinding in his lap.

God bless Stacy Keibler.

#Sam actually wrote a thing #OrangeHook #Hook/Orange Cassidy #No idea where this came from #I just thought it was funny in my head? #But man do I love writing these two #And if anyone can find the actual clip of the Taz-Stacy incident let me know #I have no idea if that actually happened or if I'm just making my memories at this point

[9leaguesofmirrors]

The Favour (a Ross Gaines x Joseph Lisgoe fanfic)

What if Pauline refused to help Ross in season 3 episode 1 and she left before that very scarring scene ever happened? In this version, he decides to call in the help of an old acquaintance

This one is a little more ✨spicy✨ than my other fics, but it's just fade-to-black, I'm not quite brave enough to write actual smut

I love how well these GIFs go together, like Ross just made a smug comment and Lisgoe's sick of his crap 😆

**********************************************

"I've come here on my fucking time off, so this better be important."

Ross couldn't remember when he started being on speaking terms with Joseph Nigel Lisgoe, but it happened. They weren't friends, but they also weren't exactly enemies. Well, Ross thought Lisgoe was a sadistic cretin who used violence to make up for his lack of brain cells, and Lisgoe thought Ross was an arrogant bastard with no concernable personality. Other than that, they didn't hate each other

Hence why Ross didn't see an issue with enlisting his help. Since he didn't have his number, he had to track down and slip a note under his office door that read I need your help, we'll discuss at my house followed by his address

Which is how he got here, face-to-face with a very unhappy Lisgoe at his front door

"Make yourself at home."

Ignoring this statement (which he could tell was merely being said out of politeness), Lisgoe all but barged past and leaned against a counter in the kitchen

"Your house reminds me of you: dead on the inside."

"I didn't invite you here to insult me."

"Couldn't you at least have gotten dressed? You look like a right twat in that dressing gown."

"I think," Ross said as he went to the cupboard and poured them both a glass of wine "that we should focus on the real reason I asked you here."

Lisgoe curled his upper lip slightly, as if he would rather have been anywhere else at this point, but took the glass anyway. He took a sip, watching Ross closely

"You gonna tell me or am I supposed to guess?"

"Someone I hired for an undercover job has decided to go against me."

"Fucking hell, OK James Bond!"

This was met with a glare, not that Lisgoe seemed to be all that bothered. In fact, he has a shit-eating grin on his face that suggested he found this whole thing funny

"I don't know why you're laughing."

"You're so far up your own arse, no wonder you talk a load of shite!"

"I'm going to ignore that. All I'm asking is for you to get rid of her, I'm sure that won't be too taxing on you, what with the very little brain power you possess."

"I'm not a contract killer." Lisgoe put his glass down on the counter "I may be a crazy bastard, but I'm not some assassin."

"You're the only one with enough of a craving for violence and lack of empathy to do it."

There was a pause. Lisgoe took another swig of wine

He'd never admit it out loud, but it was refreshing to have someone challenge him. As much as he liked being the one everyone feared, there was something about Ross' lack of fear that both frustrated him and kept him oddly entertained

"What's in it for me?"

Ross considered his answer, but his thoughts were somewhat hazy, clearly more interested in why Lisgoe was staring at him. He was completely unreadable, which was off-putting to say the least. And yet it, for some reason, made him feel more drawn to him. He wanted to know what it would take to make him snap - what he would do when he did

"Who says you're getting anything?"

"I'm not doing this shite for free." Lisgoe sneered, taking a step towards him "It comes with a price."

They weren't incredibly close, but it was enough for Ross to briefly catch his scent. Sharp, spicy cologne which seemed to fuse with the underlying leftovers of cigarette smoke. It wouldn't be much of a surprise if he'd smoked before he came here; he could see it now, Joseph Lisgoe outside the door with a cigarette in his mouth... sucking it gently... his eyes closing as the smoke fell from his lips

Ross put an end to that thought immediately

"I could tip off the police to the rumours going around Royston Vasey about your violent tendancies, I'd say guess how many years you'd get," he put a hand on Lisgoe's shoulder and looked at him with pure mockery in his eyes "but I'd hate for you to hurt your head."

"You'd tell the police, would you?" Lisgoe retorted in a soft voice that made it sound more like a dare than a question

"What if I did?"

Despite not being the most intellectual of people, Lisgoe could read emotions on their faces and bodies easily. It's what he used to get under people's skin before he inevitably threw a punch. There was a stillness in Ross' body language that told him he was telling the truth - he respected that, in a way. Another thing he caught onto was Ross' eyes. They seemed to drag their way up and down his frame, meeting his eyes with a subtle, sharp intake of breath. He was being looked at in a way that was rare for him, yet something in him was very satisfied that it was directed to him alone

But there was something else. Something of a spark in his eyes, something that said I'm onto you

He wasn't about to give him the upper hand

"I don't ask for much." His voice was softer, slightly rough "But, if you need me as badly as you clearly fucking do, then you'll have to convince me."

"That depends on two factors: what you want, and how you want me to convince you?" Ross chewed his lower lip, an action that caused Lisgoe's jaw to tighten

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Satisfied with the edge he'd taken from him, Ross put down his glass. As he did, he made sure to let his hand brush against Lisgoe's, relishing in the way he jolted away

"There's a grand history of people who, daggers drawn, eventually find each other attractive." He said innocently, tilting his head to the side slightly as he stared into dusty blue eyes "What do you think, Joseph?"

Nobody called him Joseph

It's was Lisgoe or, if you worked for him, Mr. Lisgoe. A silent agreement among the inhabitants of Royston Vasey. He didn't know what was worse: the fact Ross had the balls to break that rule, or the fact it sounded so nice in his voice

"I think you need to remember who you're talking to. You might get away with saying what you like to the thick pigs at the dole house, but I'm not that easily fucked with."

The venom in Lisgoe's voice shouldn't have affected Ross the way it did. He wasn't scared, but it pierced through his chest and pumped molten fire through his body

"I assume," He put his hand deliberately over the man's wrist, his voice steady "you know what you want in return for all of this?"

Lisgoe took a step forward and stared. It was like he was considering not the offer, but him. Finally, he spoke again:

"Anywhere between 10,000 and 20,000 is great."

"Excuse me?" Was Ross' response, trying not to look too disappointed as Lisgoe pulled away "You expect me to pay you that amount for one simple task?"

"You're not asking me to have a little chat, are you? You want me to get rid of a bitch, and the fact you contacted me means you want it to hurt."

"You're hardly worth the oxygen I breathe, let alone £10-20,000."

"You've got a set of balls, haven't you?"

"I want you to leave."

"Now hold your fucking horses, I'm not done!"

He moved over to the address book on the table and opened it, slightly surprised by how empty it was. Surely this guy knew more people than WORK and MOTHER

"So, is your dad an asshole? Or is he dead?"

"What are you doing?" Ross asked, clearly not appreciating the question

"You got a pen?"

"Don't pretend you can write."

"Fuck off and get me a pen! Wait, shut up..."

"I didn't say-"

"Here's one."

Lisgoe had taken a pen from inside his suit jacket and scrawled something onto the page. Upon inspection, Ross noticed it was a phone number with the initials JNL next to it

"As a debt collector, I never like doing favours without getting something in return."

"And what exactly do you have in mind? If it's more money, I'm out."

"You doing anything tonight?"

Of all the things he expected to hear, that wasn't one of them. Regardless, he shook his head neutrally

"I'll be back in an hour." Lisgoe put the pen down on the table "For the love of shite, get dressed."

"What's the occasion?" Ross sneered in response

"The occasion is, when I get back, I'm doing whatever the fuck I want with you."

Ross' chest caved in. He couldn't think of the worse reason: actual fear or... OK, maybe the second option. Either way, he was trying not to show it on his face

"What exactly are you implying?"

That made Lisgoe laugh a little. Ross went to question him, but was quickly silenced by being tugged by his dressing gown into a searing kiss. It was forceful, not that it came as a surprise - this was Lisgoe, after all. And Ross certainly wasn't complaining. Especially not when his lower lip was being pulled between Lisgoe's teeth

"Unless you have another stupid question, I'll see you later today"

Before he could turn and go, Ross had grabbed him by the wrist

"You said earlier that a debt collector always gets something in return, would you also say they'd rather get it in a timely manner?"

"I don't remember what I said, but sure. What's your point?"

"There's clearly something between us. A certain... heat-"

"Alright, Ozzy Wilde."

"Oscar Wilde, but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is what's the point in waiting for it to cool down?" In a moment of boldness, Ross reached for Lisgoe's jacket. Without breaking eye contact for more than a second, he unbuttoned it slowly "Unless you're too scared to-"

Once again, his words were cut short and Lisgoe's mouth was on his. It was frantic and raw, neither one of them was interested in being gentle. Ross' hands were warm, Lisgoe's skin was cold, which came together to form what could only be described as electricity. Without breaking the kiss, Lisgoe was being pushed against the kitchen counter and, well, Ross was dropping to his knees to return a favour

*********************************************

"So, what's the bitch's name again?" Lisgoe asked as he threaded his belt through the loops of his trousers

"Pauline Campbell-Jones," Ross sat down on his sofa "she's completely egregious. She's violent, foul-tempered and vulgar."

"Right, I suppose you only find those traits sexy in men."

"Let's make this clear, I only did that to pay you back."

Lisgoe didn't know why he got the urge to ask, but he sat down beside Ross and looked at him with slightly furrowed brows

"Do you fuck everyone that you ask to favours?"

"No."

"So I'm a special case?"

Ross looked Lisgoe up and down contemplatively, then replied "Yes."

"Can you say anything else? One-word responses piss me off."

There was another silence. Ross stared at the wall, thinking things through. OK yes, maybe part of the reason was to get Lisgoe on board with his plan, but did he enjoy it? Maybe he did. So what? Since when did sex mean anything? That being said, even with all that aside, Lisgoe wasn't completely insufferable to be around. In fact, he was one of the few inhabitants of Royston Vasey that he could see as being something of an equal to him

"We don't have to be strangers, I suppose. You did give me your number for some reason."

"Ignore it then," Lisgoe shrugged as he got up "I just gave it to you so I could tell when I was done with her."

Then there was an odd moment of pause

Ross stood up and they were facing each other. It was awkward and tense, but not altogether unpleasant. Just strange. Almost as if neither of them were in a rush for it to be over

Suddenly, Lisgoe snapped out of it and headed for the front door. Ross went to let him out. It was all very formulaic, as if nothing happened between them. And surely, that's all it was

Nothing at all

Once he'd gone, Ross went back into the kitchen area and looked at the number written into his book. Then he saw it

Lisgoe had left his pen behind

If he hurried, he could probably catch up and give it to him. Or he could wait for him to realise and come back for it

Ah well, what's the rush?

#league of gentlemen #the league of gentlemen #ross gaines #joseph lisgoe #gainsgoe

[unknownchaos]

[flies towards your current location at high speed. Tries to open your door instead of breaking it, falis miserably, trembles, and falls directly on your bed] ... So you have seen the show!! That's amazing!! Please let's rant about it and reblog posts so chat can get convinced to watch it. Also, let me hug you <3

Accepting your hug with open arms <3 also, I love the show!!! So much!!! I'm taking your "please let's rant about it" as an invitation to do so, so here's the spoiler warning for Invincible under the cut for anyone else reading this :) (Also, warning for incoherent rambling. I got a little excited)

Where do I even start? The show is incredible, and the characters are incredible, and the animation is incredible; can you tell I like the show? When my friend first recommended Invincible to me (well, it was less recommending and more telling me to watch it) I did not have high expectations. Then Omni-man turned the Guardians of the Globe into red mist?? I was sold on the show right then and there.

Right before I even got to episode 5 with Battle Beast, a friend of mine who read the comics long before he watched the show likened Battle Beast's appearance in the first season to putting Thanos up against Pre-Serum Steve Rogers in a fight. I only realized how right he was when Battle Beast absolutely massacred everybody easily.

Dude, all of episode five was just phenomenal. I mean, if it weren't for episodes 7-8, it would definitely be my favorite. Everyone was just so cool, the action sequences where just so sick. I actually paused the show when Mark went super saiyan-- everything about that scene was so insane to me.

And then the fight scenes between Omni-Man and Invincible???? Jesus, dude. For a bit of context, I had only ever known of Omni-man from Mortal Kombat and a couple of out-of-context clips that made me think he was just some Deadpool-esque superhero. I don't know if you know about his Mortal Kombat fatalities, but in one of them Omni-man grabs his opponent and does the whole "holds them up to an oncoming train" scene he does to Mark in the show. At the time, I thought it was just a cool fatality, but then he did it to Mark in the show and I lost it.

Is this where I talk about my favorite characters? I'm gonna talk about my favorite characters now. Robot/Rudy is my #1, hands down. I saw him and it was adoration at first sight. What can I say, I love robot characters. While I do understand his whole "becoming-human" arc, I have to say that I am partial to his Robot version over his Rudy version. (If that makes any sense)

I don't know how controversial this is, but Omni-man's right up there at #2. Hang on, before you block me, I just think he's a really interesting character. The tears when he flew away from Mark? The fact that he let Mark live? All the fucked up shit he's done on top of that? There's just- something about him that's so interesting to me. I want to study him under a microscope.

Allen is #3. Like with Robot, it was love at first sight. He's just so cool and a good person all around, and I KNEW they would kill him off the SECOND his "Allen the Alien" title card showed up. I was watching the show with Red and I called it out loud and she said "they wouldn't kill him off, right? They wouldn't do that." and then he died in front of us. I was devastated.

Then it comes to Amber and Eve who I love very much and they are both very dear to me. If anything bad happens to either of them ever I will need 3-4 business days to recover. [Obligatory comment about how hot they are here. Anthony obligatory comment about how Eve with the buzz cut is an underrated look.]

I could go on forever about this show, but for both of our sakes, I'll conclude this post here :) feel free to give me your thoughts as well :)))

#Have I mentioned that I love this show? #Invincible #Invincible Spoilers #Invincible season 2 #Invincible season 1 #chaos answers

[4awny]

kyle attempts to confess, i guess.

Cartman knew he probably should start caring at this point, but he didn't feel it. He couldn't see what the big deal was. Actually, it was a good question to ask. "What's the big deal? I don't get it."

"Jesus fucking Christ." Kyle fumed, irritated. He couldn't understand how the guy wasn't getting it. "You don't think about the consequences, that's your problem right there."

Cartman had a good reason for that. "Or I just don't give a fuck?"

"You will though, at some point." Kyle argued, "And what about the people around you?"

"What about them?" Cartman questioned back, uninterested.

"Are you-" A laugh of disbelief. "Are you so stupidly unaware or do I actually need to spell this out for you?"

Cartman really had no idea. He felt kind of stupid. "I'm not following."

There was a loud groan. "Okay, so I don't know if you know this, but there's people in your life that actually give a shit about you? Even if you do get away with it, which I highly doubt you will, because it's not like you're fucking invincible or anything, do you know what kind of impact that will have on you and the people around you?"

This started to confuse him. "What?" He asked, scratching his head.

"The people around you." Kyle repeated, "Your mom, your friends. Me? We care. About you, obviously." When Cartman said nothing, he went on to elaborate. "If you do this? There's no going back. Okay, this kind of thing changes people and it will change you and guess what, dude? I don't wanna be the one to stick around and watch you deteriorate into this deranged and dissociated fucking-" He paused to fish for the right word. "-fucking psycho person or whatever."

"Deteriorate?" The word stuck out to Cartman like a sore thumb. "You think I'll go crazy?"

Finally, Kyle felt like he was actually getting somewhere. "I mean, you're already halfway there. I know you don't want to be that person and to be honest, I don't want you to be that person either."

Cartman's expression softened, but quickly turned to irritation when he started to feel like he was being manipulated. "If this is your weak ass attempt at using psychology to change my mind, it's not gonna work."

"Okay." Kyle sighed, defeated. "You clearly don't see what's going on here, so you've left me no choice and believe me? I really really don't want to be the one to do this, but- eh. Doesn't matter. Cartman? I wanna make you an offer."

"An offer." Said Cartman, who took a subtle interest. "I'm listening."

Kyle knew he wasn't going to be able to stop him like this. He did have an idea though. It was a stupid one, but at least it would buy him some time. "You and I, Cartman? Don't you think we work better as a team? You know. Together?"

The brunette straightened out his neck and looked to the ceiling. He would hear him out.

"Think about it. When there's something happening, like... " Kyle presented him with an example. "Like when Butters got the crap beaten out of him a few years ago and we both agreed to do what we did to his dad?"

Cartman pondered on the memory and Kyle continued. "Or last year, when we went through a phase of hanging out all the time because of Stan and that weird depression episode he went through? We came together and things were good between us. Point is, We might have different opinions and disagree to begin with, but ultimately? We both want the same thing and I think... I think we both want the same thing here."

There was a blurred line here somewhere, so Cartman started the think. To avoid sheer embarrassment, he decided to tread carefully. "We both want the same thing." He repeated duly.

"Yeah, don't you think the same?" Kyle started to scratch his head. It sounded as if Cartman didn't have a clue as to what he was referring to.

"Hm." Cartman hummed and then, "Let me get this straight, just so we're on the same path here. Are you telling me you want in?"

"Want in?" Kyle asked, unsure of what he meant. Oh. And then he remembered. Yeah, the thing. He too felt stupid for thinking anything different. He cringed at his answer and made the right decision to change it. "Yeah." He said quickly. "No, I want in."

Despite these deep rooted issues Cartman had with being in control, he actually didn't mind the idea. Mostly because he had it all mapped out in his head. There were zero faults to his plan, so he felt confident enough to accept Kyle's suggestion.

Kyle, however. He saw the whole thing differently. He was trying to expose Cartman's emotions by opening up to him. Get him to see the bigger picture, to make him understand that he needed emotional help, but at the same time, being sure not to admit anything himself. It was a pride thing.

As per usual, Kyle found himself being dragged into his scheme.

He could have told him no. He should have told him no. But then Cartman would start to wonder what the hell he was just talking about, which meant exposing his own feelings.

Fuck that, Kyle thought. His aim was to buy some time so it played in his favour. "But listen, the condition is we do this when my leg is fixed. I'm no good like this."

"Oh, you are. I prefer it." Cartman muttered drily before wondering, "Tell me something. How come just five minutes ago you were telling me it was a bad idea and now you're so suddenly into it?"

"Maybe because I- you-" Kyle huffed when he tripped over his words. He started again. "I don't know, Cartman. Okay? I just don't want to see you get yourself seriously hurt or even killed for all I know and when I look back on it?" He paused to put some thought on it. "I'm thinking... god, so maybe they do deserve to die. Maybe you were right."

"Ex-excuse me?" Surprised by this unexpected confession, Cartman took a second to pull himself together. "Did I just hear that right?"

"Shut up and listen to me, will ya?" Kyle then muttered some profanity, annoyed by how persuasive this guy's argument was. "I'm not saying I want to kill anyone, but I also know you're not going to back down. Kenny's tried and if I try and it doesn't work? I know nothing else will stop you."

Cartman was blunt with him. "I mean, I hate to break it to you, but yeah. I am one-hundred-percent going through with this."

"So then I'll help." Kyle confirmed. "But can we wait until I get this darn plaster off first?"

Cartman closed his eyes and thought it through logically and strategically. He didn't really have a good enough reason to say no. Kyle was sentient enough to make his own choices in life, so who was he to hold him back? It would make him a total hypocrite. "Okay then. Sure, I'll wait. And you better not be lying to me either."

"Pfft, you can't tell when I'm lying?"

"Eh, sometimes." He shrugged, as if he didn't need to think about it. "You don't usually lie. Not to me, anyway." Muttering that last part. "Usually upfront. I always know when I've done something bad, because you tell me straight away. And when you don't tell me what I did? Your face does. That's when I know."

Kyle wasn't going to argue with that when it was the truth. He found it rather funny and took it as a sort of compliment. "You're different." He addressed. "You're a good liar. Really good liar. Not all the time though. I think you definitely lie better when you're on the spot. Sometimes when I see you lie to people, you're so... I dunno, confident? I sit there and I think, okay, I'm actually starting to believe this guy. Even though I'm literally in on the lie."

They shared a laugh and then Kyle concluded his analogy. "But then you'll let things slip up when you overthink the lie too much. You panic and will say anything to wriggle out of it."

Cartman tilted his head, interested by that. "Huh. You're kind of right."

--

just a slice. the rest of the pie is on the way... delays expected.

ty @redwicht00 for the ask :-)

#smells like kyman season to me #oh wait no thats just procastination #is anyone still here? #kyman #south park #eric cartman #kyle brovlofski

[forestgreenfairy]

A Teenage Kind of Love (salvis)

Episode 6 

(travis) 

The next day at school is a living nightmare, everyone asking me if I'm okay and saying their sorry for my loss, constantly reminding me, I just want it all to stop. I need a drink. After attendance in 3rd period I excused myself to the restroom and grabbed my bag from my locker heading off to the bathroom. I snagged a beer from the cabinet yesterday when my dad was asleep. I find my normal spot in the big stall and sit down when I hear the door open.

“Travis” says sally face gentle voice, god i really need to talk to him i think as i open the beer can and take a sip 

“Yes” i shoot back in almost a whisper 

“I was hoping you were in here, wanna talk?” he says sitting down on the other side of the stall door.

“Kind of” i say, i don't really know what i want to talk about but i know I just want to listen to him. My mind flashes to last week. When I put my hand on top of his and how nice it was. Fuck. 

“You don't have to if you don't want to, are you okay i know after your mom's thing” he says in a sad tone of voice

“Yeah I'm fine,” I pause , taking a deep breath. 

“Did you hear about what I did '' I cringe , saying that I haven't prayed actually in months, then out of nowhere I felt compelled like it was the right thing to do in the moment even though no one else was. I take another sip.

“Yeah… are you still religious i thought you were giving that up y'know since your dad” i never really thought about that, of course i believed in god and i dont think im ready to say goodbye to my faith at least not yet, but i definitely don't believe in the god my father does if he even believes in god. 

“I am just not the way my father is,” I say with immediate guilt washed over me, “one does not talk bad of one's father” my dad would say to me when I was little. 

“But i shouldn't be talking about him” i say taking another swig from the can. I carefully place the can underneath the stall door and he sighs pushing it back to me.

“I don't drink,” he says, sounding frustrated. 

“Why not” I ask, drinking has done nothing other than bring me comfort and help me forget and feel better. 

“I don't really wanna talk about it,” replied. I know his friend Travis smokes.

“Do you smoke?” I have a question.

“Sometimes” fuck, I made him uncomfortable. I grab my bag and booze and unlock the door. 

“I gotta go,”  I say , staring down at him. He nods and I leave. 

(sal) 

I knew it, he's been drinking. I feel so helpless like after the accident when my dad started drinking, how it was my fault. I know Travis drinking isn't my fault but I can't help but feel terrible, I mean do I need to tell someone? But on the other hand I don't want to seem like I'm intruding on his life by sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. Why was he asking about smoking? Does he want to smoke? I can't even think right. 

After school I meet Larry at the car and he's already inside blasting his new sanity falls CD. 

“Can you wait till we atleast get on the road for this?” I scream over the music and turn it down. 

“Its sick right? Now I can play music as loud as I want ALL the time, not just when my mom isn't home” we both laugh. That's one of the first things he said to me when we met and I asked him about living in the basement. 

“Can I ask you a question?” he nods, giving me his full attention. 

“Do you think you could get me some weed?” I say leaning back in the passenger seat.

“How much? And why” he questions.

“Ummm i don't know enough for two people ill pay don't worry. Because Travis was asking, ``I was gonna maybe invite him over to hang out,” I say and Larry raises an eyebrow.

“And you don't have a crush on him but you are willing to give him free weed?” I slapped his arm, I would have slapped him harder if he wasn't driving. 

“I don't… maybe” I say, running my hands through my hair and sliding down in my seat. 

“Duuuuuuuude your seriously fucked” he laughs.

“No I'm not.. He actually kinda sweet, its really his dad that fills his mind with all those things and thoughts” i say, and of course i dont even know if hes gay, i dont even know if im gay. Shit… i am fucked.

“Whatever you say” Larry rolls his eyes as he pulls into the parking lot.

“And yeah I can get you some weed. I'll bring it to your house tonight when I go get groceries.” he says getting out of the car.

(travis)

When my fathers car pulls up it's not him driving from Alysa i get in the back seat silently.

“Travis, I just want to talk to you about our new relationship, as I'm going to be your step-mother,” she says nervously, squeezing the wheel. 

“You are nothing like a mother to me Allysa your 22, 4 years ago MY mother was picking you up from highschool” she sighs. 

“And now i'm picking up MY son from highschool” she smiles in the rearview mirror. HER son? I will never be HER son I'm barely my fathers son. 

“ALYSSA you are not old enough to be picking up your son from kindergarten” i reply angrily and she again lets out another sigh. 

“Your father would not appreciate this, you have to understand we are getting married and that is the final young man!” she says sternly pulling into our gravel driveway. I can't help but laugh, young man? She's barely 5 years older than me. 

“Allysa you're barely 5 years older than me” I shout from the car as she stomps up the stairs inside slamming the door. When I reach the door it's locked. I jiggle the handle when I hear Alyssa from inside. 

“Go somewhere else travis! This is MY house and I can deny access to anyone I want, I AM AN ADULT” she yells. I cant fucking believe this, this girl just kicked me out of MY house. Where am I supposed to go? I mean I don't have any real friends… Do I just sit here? 

I guess I could.. Go to Sally's face.

I run around the side of the house and grab my bike from the shed.

#salvis #sally face #sal fisher #travis phelps #fanfic

[rei-does-stuff]

HELLO IM BACK WITH A CH FIC

Nothing historical or dramatic bc fuck that, I wanted to do something fun

So here’s countries arguing about a fictional tv show bc ITS FUN

JUST CHARACTER SHIT BC IM BORED MAN

—

America was heading to the EU building’s breakroom. They always had better snacks in the vending machine so he always went there for lunch. As he was putting money into the machine he heard the faint arguing of Germany and Japan who was slowly getting louder as they got closer.

“No! You’re wrong! You’re literally misremembering the scene!” Germany said.

“No! You just have the worst media literacy ever!” Japan argued.

“You’re talking to me about media literacy??? Have you looked in a mirror????” Germany exclaimed, appalled.

America knew exactly what they were discussing. It was a murder mystery drama called ‘The horrors at Manor Du-k’all’ it was about a bunch of aristocrats who get invited and eventually stuck in a old abandoned mansion that belonged to the host’s uncle. The host dies in the mansion and the show is about, well, who killed him. Every weekend the two would visit eachother to watch the newly aired episode. The finale was tomorrow where they’d reveal who the murderer really is. America had binged watched the show recently so it was still fresh in his mind. It was clear the two had…Differing opinions about who the real murderer really was.

“It’s Barry! I know it, the characters know it we all know it! If you actually PAID ATTENTION to the scene he’s clearing faking his reaction to Juliet’s backstory so he can get on her good side! It’s obvious!” Germany said, they both were in the break room at this point.

“He’s just bad at expressing his emotions! I don’t call you a murderer for your reactions! I’m telling you it’s Maria! She had every reason to kill the Host! Especially after he literally cheated on her!” Japan argued.

“That’s what they want you to think! It’s clearly bait! Barry had good reason too! The Host literally threatened to put his father onto the streets if he fell out of line!” Germany retorted. He then saw America. Germany called out his name.

Oh great, he’s gonna be dragged into this. “What’s up ya twinks?” He asked. “We need you too—wait did you just call us twinks—?” Germany was interrupted by Japan. “Forget that! We need you to settle this!” He began. “You’ve seen ‘The horrors at Manor Du-k’all’ right?”

“Yup! Binged it a few nights ago!” America replied. “Great! Can you PLEASE tell Germany he’s being fucking delusional!” Japan exclaimed, crossing his arms. “What! No! You tell Japan he’s a fucking idiot!” Germany argued.

“Look gays, as entertaining as it watching you squabble you’re both wrong. It’s obviously Juliet! The set-up is clear and she’s the ugliest member of the cast soooo-“ America trailed off.

“WHAT??? Firstly what does attractiveness have to do with anything???” Germany said flabbergasted!

“Yeah don’t be a fucking misogynist!” Japan added!

“Hey! Hey! I’m no misogynist! In every TV drama the member of the cast who isn’t as conventional attractive as the rest is always the villain! That’s TV 101!” American argued.

“OH CMON!”

“THATS FUCKING HORRIBLE!”

“YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!”

Their arguing continued until Portugal and England walked through the door. “Holy fucking shit, what are you guys screaming about?! You’re so loud!” Portugal said aggravated. “They’re talking about that show I showed you!” England told her. “Oh that? That show was stupid! It was obvious the killer was Barry!” She said.

“HA I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!” Germany said excitedly.

“What??? No! The killer is clearly Maria!” England retorted.

“HAH FUCK YOU GERMANY!” Japan said in a triumphant glee.

“Okay! Okay! Before we all start arguing again…” America paused. “Japan when’s the last episode?” He asked. “Tomorrow night!” He replied.

“Alright, Germany’s house is the closest so we’ll all go there and watch the episode. Then you’ll see I was right!” America explained. “Pfft please! I can’t wait too see your face when you see I was right.” Germany said.

“Oh yeah? We’ll see about that!”

.

.

.

Today was the day of the finale! Everyone was at Germany’s house. Plus an extra guest. “UK? What are you doing here?” Germany asked. “I’m bored and I wanna see you all scream at each other about a mediocre tv show.” He said. “Plus I wanna see the ending.”

They all sat on the couch. And turned on the tv.

“I have finally figured out who the culprit behind our host’s murder! The killer is….”

“Me!” A voice called out. The ground started to shake, the paintings were falling off the walls. All but one, a painting of the Host’s uncle. Something started to come out of it, slowly at first, then was springing and jolting to get out of the painting. It was Du-k’all! Well his spirit at least! “Y-You killed the Host!” Cried Barry. “That bastard deserved it after he murdered me! His own uncle!“ The guests tried to calm the spirit down. “Burn this place, straight to ashes.” It said. “Only then will I be at peace.” The last scene of the show was the rest of the cast stumbling out of the building as it went ablaze.

Everyone was staring at the tv in shock. Not even being able to say anything. “Are you SERIOUS?? That was the ending???” Germany finally said in frustration. “That’s was fucking bullshit! A complete cop-out!” Japan added. “That doesn’t even make any fucking sense! It never said shit about the supernatural before this!” Added America.

The UK chuckled. “What are you laughing at?” Portugal asked. “Your petty arguing is amusing. I saw that ending a mile away, the show-runners knew that pinning the crime on any guest would result in someone getting pissy, so they did this, plus a twist gets ratings.” He explained.

“I guess I’m just smarter than you all, since none of you figured it out.” He said with a shit-eating grin. Everyone was silent for a moment before England said, “All in favor of kicking the UK out in the rain and review bombing the show’s website?”

“Yeah.”

“I can get behind that.”

“Fuck yeah!!!”

“Shit—” The UK said as he stood in the pouring rain. “I actually thought the ending was good—“ He shrugged. Walking home. Don’t mess with countries and their tv shows he supposed.

—

OKAY YEA THATS IT BYE

#rei says stuff #countryhumans #ch #countryhuman #long post #my writing

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 To answer any questions, he stayed outside for 40 minutes. 6 cigarettes and a NAP in the middle of the grass. I had to check up on him twice bc my cousins forced me to check if he’s still alive. Then his alarm clock went off, he got up, came inside, took his pills and then sat down and went to 2x17. Not a single word said. I fear we are slowly witnessing his breakdown.

‘THEY’RE GOING ON A TRIP FOR A WHOLE WEEK! Hallelujah! I was so fucking worried before. Oh thank you fucking hell!’ He visibly relaxed and is now smiling. ‘They’ve been together only for 7 years and yet they act like they wrote the fucking book on couples counseling! Oh are they gonna have a threesome?..oh sweetheart, Melly doesn’t do spontaneous, she does judgey’ ‘oh shit, so Brian’s company is being taken over but he’s still making time for the trip? where are mel and linds now with their bullshit? SEE! I told you my boy cares!’ He just went on his phone and checked his bank account just in case if someone accidentally gave him money too. The second time he looked at it, his bank automatically payed a bill that just came through and he almost had a heart attack. ‘This little baldy is going to ruin my plans for the episode, isn’t he?! MAN FUCK ALL OF THIS SHIT. What does he carry in that briefcase? I want one, i could put my pills in it and maybe like a sandwich or something. BALD MAN IS GONNA FUCK UP MY TRIP TO VERMONT!…*pauses tv* now tell me baldy, why is the fuck is it any of your business where he puts his dick? THATS RIGHT BRIAN TELL HIM! THATS MY BOY!’ ‘PICKLE GUY TOOK CARE OF EMY!! He made sure his baby boy was taken care of! Pickle guy, i miss you so much’ he is once again stressed because of the trip. I had to yell at him because he almost lit up a cigarette inside. ‘I like his assistant! Look at them working together and kicking ass. She knows about his extracurricular activities. I like her. Seems like he gets along with blondes’ he is currently once again on the verge of tears because of George’s tape. He just broke down in actual tears and paused the episode ‘he said he’s off on his adventure, oh Pickle Guy, i hope you have a blast on your adventure. You deserve a really fun one, full of opera and naked dudes and clubs and pickles!’ When George blew a kiss to Emmett this dumbass blew one back. ‘Oh shit there goes the trip doesn’t it? Wait no, Justin knows that Brian has a big boy job, he’s not an idiot. He knows. And he will understand so either he’ll go with him OR they’ll go a few days later. But my boy is understanding!’ He has been completely quiet since that scene up until now when the scene where Brian leaves for Chicago comes up ‘….or not….(brian says the ‘thats exactly who you’re fucking’ line) ohhh that was a nice one. I like being reminded about how badass he is at his job. *pauses tv* justin, my boy. Trust me, i get it, I’ve been rooting for you to go on a trip since like last week but he just told you if he doesn’t go, he loses his job AND you know his company is being sold. MY BOY, cmon, be understanding with me here, i thought i thought you better than this. I get it I’m like 10 years older *starts counting on his fingers* oh god…okay maybe older but my boy, my blondie, youre smart. Stop being dramatic, or be dramatic for 5 minutes but don’t fuck things up for ME, okay? Thank you, now proceed’ *starts the ep again* ‘look Mikey and Justin are friends!! I like this *pauses the tv* MY BOY HE IS NOT DEFENDING HIM, HE IS JUST STATING THE FACTS, wait hold up, i cant raise my voice at kids *takes a deep breath and looks at paused Justin* my sweet sweet oh so sweet summer child, sometimes career unfortunately takes the lead. It fucking sucks but sometimes you have to cancel on shit in order to afford food. Life sucks, especially in America, god bless it whatever. I cannot believe I am agreeing with Mike *looks at Justin in horror* look what you made me do! What else does he want?! JUSTIN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD HE JUST TOLD YOU A SCENE AGO THAT HE COULD BE FIRED. What do you think unemployment is? Do you want me to rewind the episode so you can hear it again? Exactly MICHAEL! Oh for fucks sake Justin, you fit in exactly where you are BUT HIS CAREER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BUT ALSO EVERYTHING LIKE BABY BOY YOU CANT POSSIBLY BE THIS FUCKING STUPID?! I cannot believe what I am witnessing. This is outrageous. Me me me me, the dude is about to lose his job!’

Oh dear... your brother is falling apart here. He's now on like a death march through the rest of this season.

He blew a kiss back to George? I love this man.

And yeah Justin is a brat about the VT trip. He really is. And also your brother is closer to 20 years older than Justin... sorry Brother.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[skruffie]

It’s been A WHILE since I’ve talked about the effects of trauma on here like I used to, but recently I had a subtle trigger happen that I want to explore a bit more.

Sometimes when you experience a trauma trigger you are not always immediately aware that what you’re feeling is a Capital T Trigger. For me, it felt like I was holding two different thoughts at once: the first one being the cognitive understanding that what was happening was not harmful and that it was okay but then the other one immediately just hit the gas pedal on “NO this is EXACTLY like [thing] so let’s turn up the anxiety dial!!” I was feeling anxious and then therefore the anxiety filtered through everything, even if it was unrelated to what was happening. It also felt worse because all of this was happening when I was very sleepy last night and being tired can make triggered feelings worse.

Okay, but what exactly happened?

College abuser used to try to keep me awake so we could keep doing things together. There were many, many nights where I’d be saying “hey I need to sleep, I need to go to bed” and that would be met with guilt-tripping. Once when we were on a little day trip with friends and we had spent the entire day walking around in the snow, we stopped into a movie theater to see The Hobbit and I fell asleep in the first like, 10 minutes of the movie. They kept physically shaking me awake to try to keep me engaged in what we were watching and seemed pissed off that I slept through most of the movie, but it’s not like I was intending to sleep. I just... did??

Overall through my whole life I’ve had a fraught relationship with sleep because it’s very possible that I have some kind of sleep disorder... and there have been positive times when friends and I would just have the giggles when trying to get to sleep and end up staying awake far longer than we intended, but what happened in college was different. This was a person who was already violating my boundaries in other ways and badgering me to stay awake was part of an already existing pattern.

I don’t know what specifically causes the trigger because sometimes if I’m sleepy but there is still something going on I’m not always triggered by staying awake, but I had a very subtle trigger response last night. My wife and I were trying to finish up an episode of Dimension 20 but I was starting to feel like I was falling asleep, so we were trying to find a good stopping point to pause the video to finish up maybe later today, but unfortunately the plot of the episode wasn’t really giving us a good avenue to stop. Nobody was doing anything wrong here and after about 10 minutes we’re like “eh fuck it” and paused anyway so I could get some sleep.

This was also after like a week of us not being able to watch any episodes because I’ve been trying to get used to a new work schedule that has me going to bed way earlier than I usually do, and wham: enforcing my own boundaries and needs somehow immediately flipped on my anxiety. However! I started to identify what was happening so before saying goodnight I made sure to tell her that I was appreciative that she respects my need for rest. Once I actually said out loud that [abuser] used to not do that, my anxiety immediately started to lift.

I wasn’t having visual flashbacks or a full on panic attack, but this was still a trigger response. Sometimes triggers are entire flashbacks, panic attacks, that sort of thing. Sometimes triggers are just a backslide into old emotions. They’re all trauma responses and they all deserve to be acknowledged and dealt with.

#ptsd

[agirlunderarock]

Hello! For the fandom ask game, Star Wars seems too vast, so. The Kenobi show?

First of all I'm going to start by saying this is my second time typing this up and I'm going to cry if it gets deleted again. Second- Thank you friend I love you, I love this ask, bless you for narrowing it down to the Kenobi show. I can pick my top two characters easy, but my top three is hard to decide on and it would have made me have a small crisis. But anways lets see if I can do this and not have it get deleted this time! 5 favourite characters

Obi-Wan: I don't think anyone is surprised by this, so I'm not going to elaborate.

Reva: I meant it when I said, I don't trust you if you think she should have died. I mean it. I love where she's going. I was so fucking terrified they were going to kill her. After what I had to endure during Book of Boba Fett, I DID NOT TRUST ANYONE do her justice. Now I have SOME trust but I only trust Ms. Debra with Reva. No one else touch her. Reva has the potential to have one of the greatest character arcs in Star wars and I'll be damned if anyone takes that from her. Like I could finally have another character outside of Zuko to be like "this is how you write a good redemption arc." I have hope for that, but that means we need more Reva, and half the star wars fans don't deserve her. The only reason Obi-Wan keeps his top slot is because I've known him longer, but I've been dying for a story like Reva's since I jumped back into star wars.

Tala: No one fucking touch me, I cried like a baby when she died. I knew it was coming, because unfortunately someone always dies for development, I'm just glad she sorta took it into her own hands, instead of like another "I just died in your arms tonight" moment. I was reminded of Rogue One and it made me UNWELL. I miss her. I wanted more of her character.

Leia: And this is purely because former roommate texted me after she saw the first episode and said that little Leia reminded her of me- and I wasn't entirely sure how to process that. I have since rewatched A New Hope and Empire Strikes back and have been UNWELL in realizing how much of her attitude I just straight up absorbed, mostly in the form of sassy remarks instead of being emotionally vulnerable. I'm sure theres more to it, but no one talks about themselves accurately and this is supposed to be about Leia not me. But anyways I don't trust anyone who says they don't like Leia- just say you don't like kids or little girls with loud opinions. I still won't trust you, but at least you'll finally be honest.

I feel like its lame of me to include Vader on this list, but like- heres the thing. Listen listen....I paused E3 the moment he started the fire. I paused it and I fucking laughed at this petty man's fuckery. I laughed because my thought was, "Anakin you petty bitch, you're going to TRY to burn this man like you did on mustafar oh my god you petty son of a bitch" and once I recovered from sheer amount of petty fuckery I hit play. It was instantaneous. It was 4 am and I nearly screamed and woke up the house because I didn't think it was going to THAT far and they did. I fucking started crying. No other character has made go from laughing to sobbing that fucking fast. Also the part with the ship, and I didn't like that he moved quickly it freaked me out. So yeah, this was the first time I think I really processed Vader and I'm a little fucked up.

3 OTPs*

I'm gonna be real honest, I was glad that there wasn't any mention of his past romantic relationships. Like yes, I have written a character that is in a relationship with Obi-Wan, but even then I wrestle with the fact of do I want them to actually be romantic or do I want it to be plantonic and more like a qpr. My point for this is that I feel like Obi-Wan's story hits the hardest without any kind of romantic interest, and I'm glad it wasn't even a factor in this show. I have a lot of thoughts on his relationship with Satine, but thats another post I may or may not get to. This is a long way of saying that it took me a long time to think of any kind of relationships because I forget things and am actually a dumbass.

BailXBreha: I fucking love them I miss them every day. I want S2 only for them to come back. They had minimal screen time, but I would die for fics about them raising Leia. I adore them.

OwenXBeru: Like I said I went to rewatch A New Hope and I am 100% convinced that they took out at least a squad of troopers before we see Luke go home. I miss them too. I can't believe I lose them in the same movie I lose the Organas and I'm not okay with that.

Obi-WanXSleep: If you know anything about me you'll know this is my number one ship. Its very important to me I hold it dearly, and evidently so does Leia.

Funniest character:

Is it bad if I say its a tie between Vader, Haja, and Leia- I feel like it is. I'm gonna go with Haja, because I love him too. He won me at "You remembered my name" and the little smile he gave. Man I'd be in the exact same boat if he called me by name. Haja is a stronger man than I am though because I would have just puddled on the floor and been absolutely useless.

Prettiest character

You know this question is harder than I thought-

I was going to say Obi-Wan, because every time I see a gif come across my dash, I just sorta sigh and think "He's so pretty" and thinking about how I'm supposed to meet Ewan in August set my heart racing and so I feel like I should say Obi-Wan is the prettiest

BUT TALA AND REVA ARE RIGHT THERE AND THEY ARE GORGEOUS.

You know what this one goes to Reva. I love her so damn much okay. Her story, her, she's amazing and I love her for all the reasons why I've listed in the character piece.

Most bad-ass character

This is stupid hard because I can think of scenes before the actual characters but I might say-

nope scratch that, I was gonna say Vader for the ship scene but no

there is another....BERU AND OWEN FUCKING GOING TOE TO TOE WITH REVA HAD ME SCREAMING OKAY No they win okay.

Character I’d like as my BFF

All of them, Haja, he's a fun guy, definitely him

Character that’s ruined my life

All of them

#Ask game #Obi-Wan Kenobi series

[eremiie]

hi PLEASE i neee stoner eren amd stoner reader😩

high off of you

❥ 8k words | nsfw | eren x reader

❥ you’re dragged to a smoke session by your roommate, and you actually enjoy yourself— maybe a little more than you should have; and eren jaeger is to blame.

❥ content: choking, lowkey breeding kink ish, praise kink, slight orgasm denial, overstimulation, drugs (weed)

content.

content is how you were feeling.

you had just gotten done with your shower, your covers were finally draped over your almost bare legs, your laptop was sat in your lap and you had put your hair up to get it out of the way. you were relaxed, you were calm, and you had decided you were gonna finish off your night with an episode of your favorite show, no matter how many times you had saw it.

"c'mon, we're going to get high."

your peaceful vibe was interrupted, and in the most abrupt manner your roommate could muster; he swung the door open not even bothering to knock, leaned against the doorframe and let his eyes survey your slightly mess room before landing on you and giving you the most goofy grin.

"connie, what the fuck?" you frowned and went to pause your show only to realize you hadn't even started it. with a sigh you looked back up at connie with clear irritation written across your face.

"what? don't you want to get high?"

"i just got out of the shower, i'm in bed now," you moved your laptop and threw the covers off of your legs and pointed to your shorts. "i have pajamas on and i was about to watch my show, no i don't want to get high right now." wasn't that the obvious? you couldn't lie, the offer was tempting since you weren't the one paying, and it gave you the opportunity to see your friends again, but the getting ready process had made you shove the offer down.

as if on cue connie seemed to read your mind. "you don't have to get cute or anything. it's literally just our regular smoke circle. just throw on a jacket and let's go."

you groaned and leaned your head back letting your arm drape over your eyes. "didn't we just come from sasha's house earlier this week? who the hell is supplying y'all this fast?" you tried to come up with an excuse to stay home, but connie was clearly one step ahead of you.

"it's not sasha's house it's eren's." the stupid sly grin on his face appeared and he leaned further into your room already knowing he had you trapped. he knew, much like the rest of the friend group about the undying tension between you and eren, but nobody could pinpoint exactly what it was. it wasn't that the two of you necessarily liked each other but you were... friendlier than friendly best friends. eren and you would flirt with each other more often than not and were very hands on. not to mention how excited you'd get when you got to see him, and vice versa.

connie didn't even give you the chance to respond to that comment, your answer was evident just by the way your attention spiked at the mention of eren's name, and the way your body stiffened in the slightest. he shut the door to wait for you and couldn't help but laugh at your feeble attempt of getting out of a session with your circle.

you lost, and you were slightly upset. any other words in your defense were stuck down your throat, and connie was already long down the hall. the only thing you were able to mention was a loud, "and knock next time, dumbass!" before you did as he said, grabbing your jacket and slipping out the door with connie.

that's how you handed up where you were now, at eren's shared apartment with mikasa and armin, although mikasa's car was missing from the parking lot.

"i love the outfit. it's giving me very much... hobo." connie looked you up and down stifling a laugh while the two of you waited at the door after the first ring.

you followed his eyes looking yourself up and down as well. you did look a little silly, black crew socks with crocs over top. you didn't even take it upon yourself to zip up your jacket all the way, the black fabric draping off your shoulder on one side revealing your shoulder only adorned by a single white strap to your cropped tank top. of course the jacket was a little big, covering your sleep shorts slightly. you weren't even sure if the jacket was yours.

"shut the fuck up." you kicked connie with your croc and he hissed, grabbing his shin before being a fool and hopping towards the door some more, spamming the doorbell.

"help! i'm getting abused!" and in that moment you wondered how you managed to share an apartment with the clown.

connie's ringing only stopped when the door flew open, sasha's figure standing there with a small smile. "hey!" her tone was cheery and loud as she grabbed connie's hand pulling him into a dramatic hug before reaching a hand out to you and pulling you into one too. "i missed you guys!"

"sasha we saw you earlier this week." you forced yourself out of her grip with an apologetic smile just in case your gesture came off as rude. connie nodded in agreement and stepped aside already heading towards eren's room. i mean seriously, wouldn't it have made more sense for you not to come if he was that eager to smoke? they could've had more rounds!

"that doesn't mean i couldn't miss you." her hand embraced yours once more and she slammed the door shut, locking it and leading you to the door opened ajar on the other end of the hallway, of course eren's as he always had those red led lights bleeding from underneath the doorway. "connie told me you didn't want to come also, so this is a surprise."

you rolled your eyes. "so he knew i didn't want to come and still asked?"

"well it was worth a shot; and look where it landed you, you're about to be faded." and she wasn't wrong. she finally let go of your hand and opened the door, the bright LEDS hitting you straight on making you squint for a second before your eyes surveyed the room. jean was already chatting with connie on the futon while eren was sat on his bed with a tray in his lap, rolling the blunt.

what you didn't see was the glance he gave you when you first started scanning the room, immediately trying to look focused on rolling the blunt while attempting to hide his boyish grin. you likewise, you bit the inside of your cheeks to stop from smiling at the sight of the pretty boy; his brown locks pulled back into the sloppiest ponytail, and the hairs in the back of his head skimming the black top he wore.

"so she actually came?" jean voiced looking over to you and making his way over to you from his position on the futon to embrace you in a side hug.

"jean boy," you used his nickname to mock him before returning his hug causing him to grimace at you and pull his arm back. you started to laugh and rolled your eyes at his dramatic actions once more. "yes, yes i did come."

"doesn't she look stupid?" connie looked up from his phone at you and jean giggling under his breath. jean took in your appearance and tried not to laugh, a small smirk on his face that was wiped off when you slapped his chest then flipped connie off.

"shut your bald ass up, connie." you retorted.

"i'm growing hair, i keep telling you that!" and the whole room burst into laughter, sasha doubling over because there still wasn't a trace of growth on his head.

"connie, you have no room to talk you are actually stupid." sasha added before going over to sit with the boy after grabbing a bag of chips from the desk next to the open door.

you shut the door behind you and continued to stand awkwardly until eren spoke, "you're laughing but as soon as she takes that jacket off you're gonna try to jump on her, kirchstein." he said with a raise of his eyebrow before letting his eyes wander over your frame.

now you were really trying to hide your smile, and you cursed yourself when one graced your face anyways. "eren," you dragged out his name walking over to him on his bed before plopping yourself down and resting your head on his shoulder. "get me away from these idiots." you faked a sigh before eren chuckled and gave you a side hug much like jean’s before continuing to roll his blunt.

"damn jaeger, you were so quiet i forgot you were here." connie said, not looking up from his phone that sasha peered over as well.

"and stop making slick jokes and hurry up with the blunt." jean huffed scooting off the futon and resting his head on his palm. "i'm tryna smoke."

you watched eren look down at jean with a negative expression before continuing to roll, and you watched intently loving the way he looked while he did it. the way he let his tongue slide over the gutted blunt was enticing  and you looked from your position on his shoulder.

he let his eyes drift over to you without moving his head and then he placed the blunt on the tray grabbing the grinder and holding it out in front of you. "you wanna grind it for me?" he asked with a small smile and it caught you off guard. you took a minute to process what he said before you grabbed the grinder and let it come apart in two.

"i mean, i guess." he slid the tray over to your lap and did that chuckle again.

"do you even know how? i bet you've always had someone roll for you, huh?"

you couldn't help but break out into another smile, this one out of slight embarrassment before you bumped his shoulder playfully and setting down the grinder on the tray. "bye... i've only rolled once."

"she doesn't know how, and plus just earlier she asked me who our supplier was. even sasha knows that!" connie looked over and you met his eyes with a glare, a deadpanned expression crossing your face and the group broke into laughter again besides you.

"connie i'm gonna fuck you up." you muttered. your mood shifted once more though when eren began placing the weed into the grinder and closed the lid handing it to you.

"work some magic, babe." you were really trying not to show how excited you were, butterflies flapping their wings and flapping them hard in your stomach, especially at the nickname. you began twisting the small container and eren's calloused hands stopped yours from grinding too much. "that's good, that's good." he took it from your hands then pulled the tray over. "i got it from here."

"yeah cause she's gonna fuck it up." jean laughed and connie joined in his eccentric laugh filling the air as well causing you to groan.

"can y'all shut up? damn. you can't roll either jean."

ooohh's from connie and sasha bounced around the room and jean looked up at you amusement dancing in his eyes. "better than you."

"at least i look good while doing it." you sassed playfully while moving invisible hair behind you ear. you could've sworn eren nodded his head from next to you, and those dumb butterflies in your stomach began moving again.

"got that right." jean snapped back just as quick a flirtatious tone to his voice that caught you off guard and you raised an eyebrow at the sudden demeanor. eren looked up for a split second before glancing at you again, his eyebrows furrowed in... confusion maybe?

"weren't you just making fun of me earlier?"

"chill, we were just playing around, girl." jean responded with a shit eating grin before forming a heart with his hand and pouting at you.

"you better stop for eren gets on your ass, you know that's his girl." connie scrunched up his nose then looks towards you and eren for a reaction that he succeeded in getting. both you and eren looking up at him; eren's eyes holding more of a curious stare and yours more threatening. eren continued sealing the blunt soon after seemingly unfazed by connie's comment.

sasha gasped and widened her eyes at you. "stop! you know they don't date." she winked at you and wiggled her eyebrows and you pretended not to see her.

"yeah, they don't even date." jean added on, wondering how the conversation flipped from you to your relationship with eren so fast. it was annoying to him in the least, the group constantly commented on how you and eren should just get together and were clearly not just best friends, but the two of you seemed to haven't taken action yet.

"might as well." connie shrugged his shoulder. "anyways, jaeger finished rolling, let's get high." connie sat up, sasha lifting her head off of his arm as he did so and clasped her hands clearly ready to hit the blunt much like everyone else.

"you want the first hit?" eren rolled the blunt between his fingertips while letting the flame singe the end looking at you with those jaded green eyes, flecks of blue dashing across them in a way that made your heart melt.

"she gets the first hit too?" connie exclaimed staring at you and eren with a bored look on his face.

"who rolled the blunt?" eren asked raising an eyebrow at connie before letting his tongue run over his bottom lip and lifting the blunt from the lighter to watch the smoke float into the air, and ugh did he look good. when connie didn't answer he answered for him, "i rolled it, i choose who goes first."

"plus shes low key a newbie, this is what? her third session with us?" sasha chimed in grabbing the pillow that connie was laying on previous and rolling onto her stomach on the floor in front of the futon.

you pursed your lips before grabbing the blunt from eren, not even noticing that his arm was placed behind you until he rubbed your side in slight encouragement, his warm smile aimed at you. you put the brown wrap to your lips and inhaled the smoke, the gas irritating your airway causing you to let out a cough you tried to hold back.

eren began to laugh at you as you broke out into a fit of coughs, your throat attempting to clear up for you, and the worse the coughs got the more of your friends started to laugh, the only thing you could do was stick your middle finger up while sasha crawled to the same desk near the door to grab you her water bottle.

"i'm crying!" sasha laughed as she rolled the bottle over to the foot of eren's bed. eren's laughs died down too after he hit the blunt and then bending down to pick it up for you, untwisting the cap and passing the drug towards connie.

"woah, chill." he said before blowing the smoke from his mouth in your face causing you to suppress more coughs and fan it away. he tilted the water bottle to your lips and you let it swim down your throat, relishing in the sweet gesture from the boy next to you.

"eren," you mumbled his name taking the water bottle from his hand. you didn't get time to finish your sentence before his door opened revealing armin standing there in his pajama pants and sweatshirt.

all gazes turned towards him as he scanned eren's room growing accustomed to the new faces and scenery. "hi." he mumbled rubbing his eyes. "when did you guys get here?"

"did you just wake up?" eren asked slight concern lacing his face.

"yeah... i heard laughing. don't forget we share a wall." armin gestured towards the wall in which eren's futon laid against.

"i didn't even know you were here. i didn't see mikasa's car so i thought both of y'all just dipped." connie passed the blunt to sasha and fanned the air of the smoke letting the rest disperse after speaking.

"mikasa is at the library. she can't stand the smell of smoke and how loud you all are. i don't blame her." armin chuckled before walking over towards sasha who hit the blunt and gave it to armin's outstretched hand.

"armin you smoke?" you couldn't help but ask, the last two smoke sessions you went to with connie, armin wasn't there. as a matter of fact you never saw much of him because he excelled above you by some and the two of you didn't share any classes, yet you definitely knew him through eren.

"everybody hear smokes except for you." sasha said hoping her words would coerce you to come to join the smoke circle more indefinitely, not just pass by a few times here and there.

armin let the smoke inhale his lungs then removed the blunt from his soft lips. "i smoke with eren sometimes. not usually with all of you guys but... sometimes?" his response came more like a question than an answer as he bent down to give the blunt to jean.

"let armin hit it a couple times." eren used his head to motion the blunt in jean's hand to armin and armin nodded in agreement.

"yeah, i'm about to go back to my room anyways." armin took the blunt back holding it between his lips while leaning against the doorframe.

"why aren't you staying?" sasha pondered sitting up and cradling her pillow to her chest. armin took one last hit then walked over passing it to you which you accepted with a kind nod.

"i should be studying with mikasa but i fell asleep. i have a test tomorrow, eren does too."

"so eren's here getting high and he has a test tomorrow?" you give eren a playful disappointed glance that lasted a little longer than it should've. he met your eyes and then let his drop down to your lips before breaking out into a smile and leaning forward, burying his head into your neck. his chain dangled almost touching your lap and you felt the strands of his hair brush against your chin causing you to twitch at the tickling feel while inhaling the smoke from the blunt. when your hand dropped down to your lap he replaced your hand with his and put the wrap in his mouth while nuzzling into you.

"mikasa made me study with her for like a week straight, i'll be fine." he whined. you let a sigh leave you and found yourself stroking the hair on eren's nape while fiddling with the clasp of his gold chain adorning his neck. the smell of his cologne was mixing in with the weed, but yet that woody pine still overpowered the plant and you couldn't help but rest your head on top of his in efforts to get closer to the source of the fragrance.

"i still don't understand why the two of you haven't gotten together." armin announced eyes flickering back and forth between you and his roommate.

sasha flailed her arms out and her expression was relieved, although her eyes went wide and her eyebrows went up, "that's what i been trying to say! they already act like they date." armin nodded his head agreeing with her.

"we don't like each other, we're just friends i don't know why you all say that." you said a little too quickly, eren pulling away from your neck finally and giving you a once-over. you missed the warmth he brought but then turned your head back towards armin.

"yeah, yeah." he giggled rolling his eyes. "okay well goodnight." eren stood up and passed the blunt to armin who took one last hit then handed it back to sasha, then the rest of the room murmured a goodnight to the blonde relaxing in silence for a minute after his leave.

eren took it upon himself to scoot back on his bed until his back was hitting the wall once he sat back down, using his hand to beckon you to follow him. "c'mere." and you obliged until you were next to him, shoulders touching.

jean looked over to connie and sasha, connie still scrolling through his phone aimlessly giggling at his home screen for whatever reason and sasha looking up at the ceiling on her back now, bag of chips on top of her stomach as she got lost in her thoughts.

"remember when we used to like each other?" jean took it upon himself to abruptly reminisce on the past in the presence of his friends. he took a hit of the blunt thats length was beginning to falter, it on the verge of becoming a roach. he leaned over and passed it on to you, eyes trained on yours, completely ignoring eren's gaze

you furrowed yourself eyebrows trying to recall the time once you figured jean was talking to you, his stare telling, which you actually could. "...oh yeah, last year. i guess i did."

eren pulled one of your legs overtop of his and let his hand settle onto your thigh.

sasha's head perked up at the sudden conversation. "oh my gosh... you did like jean for a little bit. you used to gush over him-"

"sasha! i know, i know, but that was last year."

"i wonder why we didn't get together if we both liked each other, hm." jean looked upwards and tapped his chin in almost a mocking manner. "we used to hang out a lot actually now that i think about it, me, you, sasha and connie."

connie let out another burst of laughter and let his phone to drop to his chest. "yeah, remember that one time we got kicked out of the library because sasha got caught eating like four times and she wouldn't stop after that lady told her to?"

you chortled and sasha's mouth dropped open. "i don't even remember that, i thought you got kicked out because you wouldn't stop fucking laughing and that same lady told you to shut up like seven times!" and more laughter erupted from the ones who were there that day.

you passed the blunt to eren for the umpteenth time watching him take a quick drag then beckon to sasha to grab it as he didn't want to get up. "you both got kicked out, those were two different days." you shook your head at your friends antics and looked up at eren. "they're so dumb."

eren returned your stare and only then did you notice the way his eyes were half lidded, you were sure red was rimming them even though you couldn't really tell because of the red emitting from the lights in the room. he squinted at you and scrunched up his nose. "you look high." he ignored your last sentence wanting to stray away from the conversation he was barely apart of.

"i am high, stupid."

a small 'hmph' came from the back of his throat and it happened again, his eyes dropping to your lips causing him to lick his before he brought those same eyes back up to yours. you could've kept getting lost in them if you didn't jolt at the sound of jean clearing his throat and holding the blunt out to you.

you leaned over to grab it once more. "careful, it's a roach. don't burn yourself." he warned you, so you pinched it between your pointer finger and thumb and started to put it up to your lips but eren grabbed your wrist.

"wanna try something?" he asked you, plucking the faltering blunt from your hands and using the lighter beside him to fire it up a bit more. "wanna shotgun it?"

you had to trace back where you hear those words again... like a shotgun when you get to sit in the passengers seat? no, that wasn't it... you couldn't recall, but by the way sasha widened her eyes for the several time that night, the way connie's mouth dropped into an 'O', and the way jean's features were exasperated, him looking down to the bright light of his screen, you could only wonder eren's intentions.

he didn't even wait for a response from you, pulling through with his actions anyways. "inhale slowly, okay?" he inhaled as much smoke from the blunt storing it in his cheeks, the skin expanding from the inside and then leaned over his face mere inches from yours. he grabbed your chin with his fingers and you opened your mouth slightly watching as he opened his and let the smoke pour out of his tinted lips. you followed his instructions; inhaling very slowly hoping the moment could last a little longer, both of you staring at the transition of the smoke from one mouth to the other.

eren glanced to the side for a second to see if the others were watching, mainly searching for one pair of eyes. you saw his upper lip curl upwards slightly and you inched forward a little more subconsciously. eren watched the smoke grow thinner and felt the way your hands grabbed at his shirt tightly. he watched your eyes flutter and felt your noses brush together.

eren watched both of you lean in a little more until your lips brushed and came together, and felt the fireworks go off in both of your bodies, electric like sparks getting sent through his.

he ignored the gasps and groans of your friends and instead focused on the gasp that left your lips when they first connected with his, and the groan you elicited from him, lips meeting so fervently. he couldn't admit it until today but he wanted your lips on his so bad, your body on his so bad. he was so infatuated with you and the two of you being around each other majority of the time didn't help. he could only reminisce in the little touches and flirtatious gestures you passed back and forth on a regular day and use that to fuel his thoughts at night.

"eren," you mumbled against his lips your voice coming out like a whimper that went straight to his dick, causing him to wrap his arms around your body and pull you into his lap letting your legs swing over either side of him. eren didn't forget about the guests in the room, and as much as wanted to put on a little show in spite of jean, he pointed towards the door snapping his fingers twice.

"five dollars that they fuck?" sasha nudged connie's shoulder as they stood up and walked towards the door while she rolled up her chip bag bringing it with her. jean's figure was already halfway out the door, slamming it hard and making his way to the living room with the other two following.

"hell no, you're gonna owe me five dollars instead. i'm betting that they fuck."

"no, cause you know they're going to that's why i said the bet first, peanut head." sasha stuck her tongue out at connie and he shoved her out the door closing it softer than jean.

he kisses you even harder just basking in the feeling of your smooth lips against his slightly chapped ones, lips working in synchronization like they were made for each other and he felt so needy. his hands roamed your hips and waist, going underneath the jacket now hanging off your shoulders and feeling the bare skin of your stomach. your skin was so hot underneath his hand, just like the air surrounding the two of you.

you ground down into his lap and he hissed stilling your hips at the feeling, his mouth dropping into a circular shape, his eyebrows pointing up until a sigh left his lips once yours disconnected from his. you studied his face; his eyebrows scrunched up in lust and his lips parted slightly already missing the feeling of your lips. his nails dug into your hips as if you would run for whatever reason.

"_____... fuck." his tone was low and light and he leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to your cheek, his skin warm on yours. "you're so pretty,"

your face grew hotter than it already was and you leaned your forehead against his while your arms draped around his neck. "thank you,"

"i want you."

you closed your eyes and relished in his grip that became impossibly tight on your hips. "i want you too-"

"i wanna fuck you... i wanna feel you." eren's eyes fluttered shut as well, his forehead moving from yours to the crevice of your neck, planting his lips and nibbling on the thin skin. your breath hitched and your hold on his neck tightened. "i wanna have you."

"i'm right here, eren."

he held back a moan at how gentle and soft your voice was when you said those words, but you caught on and wanted to actually get one out of him. you wanted to pleasure him, you wanted him to shudder because of you, and you wanted your name to leave his lips like a song; but he wanted the same from you.

he was high, and high, and high off of you.

"lay down."

eren obliged with a smug smile, turning himself to the side while steadying you on his lap until his head hit the pillow, his flyaways bouncing to the sides of his face. "c'mere." just like earlier you listened to his words and leaned down so he could press his full lips against yours. his hands cradled either side of your face as you rutted your hips against him and swallowed his groans. his tongue swiped against your bottom lip and his teeth pulled at it as well until you gave him entrance to slip his tongue inside your mouth. you moaned at the feeling of your tongues colliding and dancing around each other even though both of your mouths were somewhat dry from the earlier smoke session, it still felt all good.

you felt fuzzy and your body felt like it was melting into his. when you pulled back for air eren gave you that same smile he gave you earlier, and you moved your kisses down his neck. once you reached the crevice between his shoulder and neck you moved his chain aside and licked at the spot, the feeling of your warm tongue against the shy skin causing eren to hold you a little tighter. you nibbled at the pretty skin and wondered if the mark you proceeded to leave would even be visible under the gleaming red lights.

"i don't know why you're trying to give me a hickey, they already know we're fucking." eren taunted letting his hands travel up your spine until they reached your neck, smoothing his fingers over it. you bit down on the mark as a way to punish eren for his comment then kissed it, finally pulling back.

"shut up."

eren let out a low laugh, and his low eyes raked over your figure with his lip trapped between his teeth. "when did you get my jacket?" he raised and eyebrow and began to remove the fabric that was resting at your elbows after unzipping it the rest of the way to reveal your top.

oh, so it was his jacket. you let out a laugh at your idiocy; you knew it was a couple sizes too big. "you look cute in it, but i want to see you now." he threw the fabric off of his bed and let his warm hands travel up until they cupped your breasts, your back arching in the least. his thumbs ran over your nipples, the feeling making you clench on top of eren. "like this," he pulled them hem of the white top up until you lifted your arms, now only left in your shorts and socks. he didn't even question the fact that you weren't wearing a bra. "shit..." he pushed you down until he could latch onto on of your breasts his tongue swirling around your nipple and you let the tingling feeling go down your spine until he popped off. eren begins to remove his shirt swiftly throwing it somewhere near his jacket.

you make work of your position on top of eren, scooting down on his legs and pecking his chest, abs, then v-line until your head was leveled with his dick. he stared down at you with a look of sultry while your hands worked to pull down his sweatpants. his hips lifted to help you out and you palmed at him with your hand watching him throw his head back when such a simple gesture relieved some of the tension he was feeling.

your mouth connected with his dick through the fabric, feeling for his tip that rested on his thigh and smirking against it when he hissed, hand flying to your ponytail that you threw up earlier that evening. "fuck, don't tease me like that baby."

"i wanna take my time with you." a pout formed on your face and your hands made their way to his waistband, the elastic material detailed with 'calvin klein' circling his hips.

eren's hands grabbed your jaw forcing you to look up at him before you could pull down his boxers. "and i want to fuck you... make you feel good."

your stomach twisted and even though you were just trying to do the same you couldn't help but rush pulling down the brunette's briefs until his cock slapped against his lower abdomen, your pussy squeezing around nothing at the view. his tip red and leaking and you knew that it'd be heavy on your tongue.

"eren..." he watched the way you eyed his aching dick, and he took it in his hands rubbing himself up and down with his hand while basking in your expression.

"hm?" you didn't even know what you wanted to say, you were just mesmerized and wasted no time prying his hands away to replace them with your own. your nimble fingertips ran over his tip to gather his precum and slide it over his length and he twitched, no, his dick twitched, and his fists clenched in anticipation for your hot mouth on him.

he decided to be courageous, to look down and try to watch you without spilling over himself too fast, i mean could you blame him if he did? your hands, the feeling of you over him, the way you would feel around him... he'd had wanted this forever and now it was in front of him.

in a way, he wanted to ruin you, not let this moment go in fear it wouldn't happen again.

so you finally attached your lips to his throbbing member, and he sucked in a breath hand trying to choose between flying to your head or to keep his hands to his self for now, but he chose the former his fist keeping a grip on your locks while you began to bob your head up and down. small sounds of pleasure left him and his eyes closed again, him trying to focus on not fucking your pretty throat so early in. he just wanted you and him to be one in every sense for as long as possible.

a mantra of 'yes,' and 'fuck,' left eren's mouth while your worked around him slicking him up and drawing lines up and down his cock with your tongue watching his reactions for a particular sensitive spot he might have; and you found it.

you went back up to his tip kissing it gently before letting the heat of your tongue slide down a vein on the side of his dick. "_____," eren moaned lifting his hips although he wasn't engulfed in your mouth. "i need it, shit, i need your mouth."

you giggled and placed his heavy dick back where he liked it for now. you felt it brush against your throat and you wondered if you could go any farther, sucking fervently and coming back up to spit on his head, adding more slick to him. when you went back down eren couldn't help it, he had felt when his tip touched your throat earlier and he most definitely wanted to feel that again.

his grip on your hair tightened when your swollen lips were wrapped around him again. he pushed your head down a little bit causing your hands to put more pressure on his thighs. eren opened his eyes to stare at you again, your mouth stretched out so lewdly over his cock, saliva starting to slide down his length from your mouth and your eyes shut as you tried to focusing on breathing. this only encouraged him further.

"i know you can take more, c'mon, go a little further." he said in a tone near a whisper while he lift his hips up more so that he could feel that ridge of your throat and hear another gag.

you pushed yourself, letting him take more control and then he felt it again; "mhm, right there baby, right there." he moaned when you whimpered, groaned and gagged, but this only pushed his animalistic fervor and he tried to push you down more but you lifted your head to catch your breath. "fuck, that feels amazing, angel."

you let the praise run over your body and went back down on him seeing how far you could go without his extra nudge then focused some more attention on his tip.

eren could feel the curdle in his lower abdomen but he tried his best to ignore it, letting your work him more. he let you swirl your tongue around him and pepper kisses down his length. he watched you try to deep throat him again and watched the tears spring from your eyes before you came back up, and all of this built up further until he tumbled over the edge spilling white heat into your mouth with a shout.

you were satisfied.

aching for him? yes, but satisfied at your job.

eren's thigh twitched and his eyes screwed shut as you didn't remove yourself from his length yet, cupping his balls and paying attention to his tip, overstimulating him, watching him shudder and gasp under you like you wanted. his dick hardened again while he contemplated whether to remove you from his length or let the over sensitivity go until he had no choice but to stop, and once again he picked the prior. "_____, please i want to be inside you now, wanna fuck you still."

you slipped off of him and crawled forward only now aware of the wet spot on your panties.

eren brought your face towards him kissing you with no hesitance despite him just being in your mouth. he pecked your lips and you smiled as he praised you. "you did so good, so good..." another peck and then his hands trailed down to the shorts you were still wearing, giving your ass a squeeze and spreading them. "but now i want to see that pretty pussy on my dick, yeah?"

you let him slide off your shorts and underwear simultaneously until your slick heat was exposed to him and to the air, feeling it brush over you before eren's hands could. your head fell to his chest feeling the cold metal of his chain underneath you, and your sore jaw parted when you felt his rough fingers gather up your wetness on them, rubbing through your slit. "eren..."

"c'mon, sit baby. we're not done yet; fuck yourself on me." he placed his lips on your the top of your head. "please?"

you picked yourself up and scoot back taking eren's dick in your hand once more. you didn't even care that he didn't have a condom, you trusted him, and you trusted the birth control you were on too.

finally you slipped down onto him and for him it felt like you were sucking him up inch by inch until he bottomed out inside of you. "so fucking tight... you're so wet." he groaned with his hands on your hips and yours on his chest steadying you. it had been awhile since you had been fucked and feeling so full again felt good, the stretch felt good and the slight pain subsided so quickly.

slowly, you guided yourself up and down eren's cock until you could find a good rhythm. your chest bounced above him and your ass clapped together, mixing in with the sound of your slick getting pushed in and out of you. "yeah, like that," eren hummed watching you focused, your pussy squeezing around him and you putting in the efforts to fuck yourself on him for both your pleasure.

eren's hands helped guide your body up and down him, and you leaned forward a little to add some more pressure to your clit. everything felt so good, the way he hit your cervix, the way your bud rubbed against his lower abdomen, you could definitely say this was one of the best fucks you had in a while. eren slapped your ass for encouragement before massaging the same area and relishing in your gasp.

"this feels good... and so much better when you're high." you sighed out while your face contorted in pleasure.

"or is my dick just that good?" eren joked looking up at you after your comment.

"shut it, eren.. and," you leaned forward some more. you were somewhat exhausted from riding already, thighs aching and body shivering from the pleasure. "i’m tired..." you admitted almost shamefully.

"you're tired?" he spoke in the way you would to a child while turning you around so you were on your side. his chest was against your back, the cold gold material resting between your shoulder blades and your ass snug against him. he lifted your leg and held it up while you guided him back inside of you until he was buried deep once again, this angle hitting even better.

"i got you," eren murmured against your neck while starting his pace slow. his hand trailed up to your neck and he gave it a light squeeze while pushing you further against him. he loved the way your ass bounced against his lower stomach when he started going faster, making him speed up his pace. "'m gonna fuck you so good."

you let out a slutty moan at his dirty talk, bringing a hand over to your mouth and shutting your eyes. he found that sweet spot inside of you and you couldn't help but react as well as he hit it over and over again. eren's hand on your throat went up to pull your hand off of your mouth. "don't try to hide that pretty voice, i want to hear you, i want them to hear you. get loud baby."

you were sure he felt the way you clenched around him, suffocating his dick as it slid in and out of you at a steady speed, and this time when you let out a moan you let him hear it, you were loud like he asked and tried to put your leg up even further so he could hit deeper.

"eren, fuck!" you were left pondering why you didn't think about this earlier, why you didn't listen to everybody who told you to get with eren. you could've been getting the best dick you'd gotten in years but both your stubborn, wavering feelings got in the way. "yes, oh my god, yes!" you cried out while eren bucked his hips up into you tightening his grip on your neck.

he turned your head towards him and engaged your lips again swallowing your cries and whimpers as he abused your pussy. your hand shakily made its way down to your clit to give you another push but he was quicker, dropping your leg and grabbing your wrist causing you to yelp. "eren, please."

"beg me." that same fervor from earlier returned. being edged on by your cries and shouts of his name, knowing how good he was fucking you and making you feel was such a turn on. "tell me how you want me, how you want my cum."

your breath was ragged and your leg was aching but you wanted it stretched out again where you could feel it deep. you were on the verge of tears. your hips rutted against eren for any boost, any pressure that you could get you to your high. the hand around your neck only gripped further as you didn't respond yet.

"c'mon, beg me baby."

"eren," his name came out broken, your back leaving his chest as your arched hard. "please fuck me, fuck me... please," he started to move again in the least, after all he was on the verge of cumming as well. "fuck, cum inside me, i want it, please." the sobs that left your mouth were so hot and of course he gave you what you wanted.

he fucked up into you after lifting your leg again and letting the fingers that were choking you slip into your mouth while he kissed and nibbled at your neck, speaking in between, praising you and marking you. his hand slipped from your mouth and he brought his wet fingers down to your clit rubbing for you until you toppled over the edge with a loud cry of his name. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your cunt gripped him like a vice over and over again as if you were trying to milk him.

"ah, fuck," the way you were squeezing around him caused him to unravel himself, white painting your walls as he filled you up with his cum, shaking himself. "_____," he heaved as the two of you tried to come down from your escapade.

your breathing was beginning to steady again but you could still feel yourself pulsing around him causing him to pull out before it became too much. "eren.." you answered back as your head relaxed against his pillow while you rested in his grip. you felt his lips against your neck again, then stopping at your shoulder blades.

you were blanking out from tiredness, only then did you realize the state you were in, hair in somewhat of a mess, a sheen of sweat covering both of your bare bodies, and marks littering your body. not to mention the cum trying to ooze out of you. you didn't even realize when eren had gotten up until he came back, wiping you clean and only assuming he did himself too. he locked his door on the way back in and slipped his boxers back on, reciprocating on you with your underwear.

you could feel the bed shift, eren crawling in bed beside you after drawing out the covers from underneath both of you and wrapping them around you and him, bringing you against him before you fell back asleep.

༄ ༄ ༄

you woke up to a hand shaking you, your eyes lazily opening.

"wake up, _____."

"eren?"

the pretty boy smiled at you and studied your features as you tried to wake up completely. you were no longer naked, or in the same position you were from last night, now wearing a plain white shirt and your underwear.

"morning, i gotta head to class soon, remember i have a test, or did i-"

"don't finish that sentence." you rolled your eyes as you sat up completely eren laughing at you. you followed his eyes, them resting on your lips like always and you took it upon yourself to lean up and kiss him, this time quite innocently, domestic almost. "sorry, morning breath, but,"

eren this time cut you off with another soft kiss, his cheeks rising from his smile as he pulled you closer to him.

you didn't want to talk it out yet, you were somewhat fine with where everything was at now, although you knew your friends and eren wouldn't want to coax a direct answer out of you sooner or later.

but you were content with the way eren kissed you just seconds ago, content with his jacket and sweats you had to wear, you were content with having to use spare bathroom products at his house, you were content with the wave armin and mikasa gave you out the door, content with the walk you and eren shared to the college, content with the last kiss he gave you before his class.

content is how you were feeling.

content.

#eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger #attack on titan #eren jaeger smut

[raibebe]

Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective​. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin​, @moonctzeny​, @lenaluvs​, @lucas-wongs​, @burtonized​ and to @ncteaxhoe​ who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail [email protected] to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while.   “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

#johnny #nct #neosmutcollective #neosmutletters #kafenetwork #johnny suh #seo youngho #johnny smut #johnny fluff #nct 127 #nct smut #nct fluff #nct 127 smut #nct 127 fluff #johnny imagines #johnny scenarios #johnny fanfic #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fanfic #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 fanfic

[omar-rudeberg]

So I have what may be an unpopular opinion / spicy take, but stay with me - the more I watch the Wilhelm and Simon end of episode 5 scene (the Lucia hug), the more I find it tears my heart to pieces rather than providing any kind of coming together or cathartic release.

Has anyone else felt the same?

Because the longer I've had to ruminate on the progression of the relationship between Wilhelm and Simon, the way they crash together, the way there's so much left unsaid, unrevealed, avoided before them being torn apart, I just, I find the Lucia scene so fucking painful.

For both of them, but honestly a big part of my heart breaks for Simon. He asks, So you blamed everything on Alexander? And what does he hear from Wilhelm here? No one said anything about you. But Simon's not having that shit, his last conversation with his (Prince, crush, friend; now Crown Prince and lover) was a shit fight where he realised Wilhelm thought - heard Wilhelm say - that he considered the reputation of his family first and any negative consequences for Simon second. Simon shakes his head, shakes his head again, no, no, no. Do you expect me to thank you? Or what. And it's inflection is: thank you for not throwing me under this bus filled with you and your noble white privileged cronies taking their free ride through life; thank you for finally realising this may have been some of my shit but this is also definitely some of your shit too; thank you for instead pulling the trolley lever to crush the only other body in the equation that looked least like you, talked least like you, behaved and moralised least like you, how fucking kind of you.

(And Wilhelm was in a tough spot, I'm not denying that, but shit, it really is just wealth begets power begets safety in this world, isn't it? Does Wille even clock that?)

He says, I just wanted you to know and Simon's still shaking his head, shaking his head (his face tells us he's again thinking, how fucking kind of you).

Wilhelm says, I just didn't want to lose you. You're the only one here I feel I can actually talk to. And at this, at the painful surrender from Wilhelm, Simon freezes. Pauses, and we know he's thinking, dear God there's no way in hell I want to lose you either, and at the combination of this and Wilhelm looking up at him with wet lashes, and Simon crumbles.

He crumbles, splinters, the grains of sand composing his existence falling through his own two hands, own ten fingers where he stretches them out to clutch at Wilhelm, hold him, show him he's needed, give him the love that makes him burn so bright, laugh so loud, stand so tall upright and proud.

But this moment, this exhale, flutter of Simon's lashes, nudge of his head is, to me, beginning to look like... Not the beginning (another beginning) of Simon's promise to Wilhelm, but the end (another end) of a promise Simon's made to himself long ago, before we met him. A promise to know his worth, to speak his mind, to never compromise where it's non-negotiable to allow him to sleep at night, to speak with love, to pride himself in and speak of his love. Simon came into this room wanting something from Wilhelm, and I don't believe he received it. He instead falls back into his pattern of boundless caring, of overcompensating, of making himself, his thoughts and his words smaller to lovingly cradle the emotional needs of everyone else in the room, fighting their demons with no thought to his own monsters under the bed, in the cupboard, in his head.

In this moment, Wilhelm doesn't give him enough. You're the only one here I feel I can actually talk to is not enough. It's not. Simon deserves at least an I'm sorry (and Wilhelm does as well, for that matter, there's plenty Simon's left unsaid too). And Simon just takes these tiny puzzle pieces of truth Wilhelm's willing to give, adds a chunk of himself he really can't afford to lose into the package and wraps Wilhelm up in this blanket of love because fuck, they love each other, they really fucking do, but is that enough? Is that enough?!

I believe this moment is one Simon looks back on, when considering what to say to Wilhelm when he returns from the Palace in episode 6. Think he clutches tightly to this moment, to steady his spine. I believe this is a moment Simon never wants to repeat, because it must have been so fucking scary, the feeling of loving someone so much you feel yourself remoulding your existence to fit the shape of them, and looking back realising they were holding steady to their concrete frame and expecting you to pour yourself like custard into their unchanging entity.

This scene tears me to fucking pieces, because it's the two of them at their lowest, both falling back on trauma-acquired behaviours that don't serve any long term relationship of theirs, placing a bandaid over a stab wound. I want to yell at them that this hit the femoral artery, that they're bleeding out, that it's just a matter of time.

But I know they won't listen, can't hear me, because what reason would they have to believe me? They're in each other's arms, right? That's enough, right? (For now, perhaps. Perhaps for now.)

#Fucking holy hell what did I just write #Please someone agree with me #Make this entire mess of metaphor and probably incorrect quotes and smushy feelings worth it #young royals #analysis #wilmon #wilhelm #simon #relationship dynamics #power #(and I know - there so much more to talk about here and I really don't mean to villainise Wilhelm in the slightest #- just focussing on Simon's arc here...) #mine