#i want to help not hurt <3

[mortallyfuriousbluebird]

Ok, I'm actually really proud of myself and I want to share it with the faceless void (the internet).

In March of this year, after an absolutely devastating breakup in October 2022 (my relationship of ten years ended, for a variety of reasons), I weighed 249lbs/113kg.

I was depressed, had no energy, and felt like shit all the time. The second lowest point of my life (first was when my mom died).

I told myself if I hit 250lbs I was either going to die or diet. I watched my mom struggle with weight related illnesses and disordered eating my whole life. It eventually killed her (I don't want to get into specifics, but her obesity directly caused her death, she was 62 years old).

I chose to diet and exercise.

Now, I'm 42lbs/19kg lighter. I eat healthier, I exercise, I feel better. I currently weigh 207lbs/94kg and I am 13lbs/6kg lighter than when I met my ex 11 years ago. I've put on a bit of muscle, my body fat is much lower. My stamina is so much better, I can go on hikes now that I wouldn't or couldn't before. I'm stronger than I've ever been, I can lift 50lb objects with ease. I moved a whole ass clothes dresser into a truck by myself with no issues.

My goal weight is 175lbs/79kg. I'll get there with time. That's what I weighed when I graduated high school in 2005 and I'd be excited to look, and more importantly feel, like I did then.

Being healthy isn't necessarily weighing less, but for me personally, it helped, especially with my mental health. If you are happy with your body and you're in good health it doesn't matter how much you weigh. But for me, I needed a change and this is what helped me feel better. You know yourself and your body better than anyone, so do what feels good and right for you.

If you do want to lose weight, for whatever reason, and to do it healthily, watch your calories and simple carbs/sugar, up your protein, eat a lot of veggies and don't stress if you eat fattier foods or have a big meal. It's ok, begin again tomorrow.

Stress and guilt are killer, and honestly, they don't help, only hurt and make you feel bad. Celebrate your victories but don't punish yourself for enjoying food. There are no bad foods, just moderation in all things. One day of eating more won't set you back like you think, I promise.

The biggest tip is figuring out your calorie expenditure and eating less than that. It really is as simple as calories in vs calories out. Get a calorie tracker app, there are several free and premium ones for both android and iOS and be honest with what you eat.

Under the cut is the formula for Basal Metabolic Rate (the base calories you expend just being alive) and the formula for your calorie expenditure.

I love you all and wish you good health and happiness.

Basal metabolic rate formula:

Men:

BMR = 88.362 + (13.397 x weight in kg) + (4.799 x height in cm) – (5.677 x age in years)

OR

BMR=66.47 + (6.24 × weight in pounds) + (12.7 × height in inches) − (6.75 × age in years)

Women:

BMR = 447.593 + (9.247 x weight in kg) + (3.098 x height in cm) – (4.330 x age in years)

OR

BMR=65.51 + (4.35 × weight in pounds) + (4.7 × height in inches) - (4.7 × age in years)

To find your Total Calorie Expenditure:

Sedentary: If you get minimal or no exercise, multiply your BMR by 1.2.

Lightly active: If you exercise lightly one to three days a week, multiply your BMR by 1.375.

Moderately active: If you exercise moderately three to five days a week, multiply your BMR by 1.55.

Very active: If you engage in hard exercise six to seven days a week, multiply your BMR by 1.725.

Extra active: If you engage in very hard exercise six to seven days a week or have a physical job, multiply your BMR by 1.9.

Source: https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-basal-metabolic-rate#How-many-calories-do-you-need-every-day?-

#personal #i love you all #no body shaming #no fat shaming #weight loss #not kink/sexual #tw weight #tw weightloss #tw disordered eating #tw diet #tw death #tw obesity #tw ed #tw eating disorder #if there is a tw i missed let me know #i want to help not hurt <3 #long post #sorry its so long

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[roomy-ghosted]

My feelings towards ao3 this morning.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #like-i get it. but- #please. please for the love of god. just fluff or non-sexual fics. #for five seconds. #please. #I can only handle so much corn. especially when it's almost all geared just towards women. #this is all /lh i dont actually care all that much- but there comes a point where theres too much and all a man wants to do #is hold another man close. or go on perfume dates or pottery lessons with another man. #small things to help healing or gentle things or silly playful things. #hell- even taking care of all the spawn with Astarion in the bad ending- #why are all the bad ending fics ive seen corn btw? I've seen like- zero non-corn ones. #i get it. I get the vibe. but like- also. consider. like- maybe I wanna read angst with. with no corn?? please? #I've got 4 unposted fluffy fics im working on. One being hurt-comfort with some extra hurt #which i had to stop writing for a bit today because it was hurting a bit TOO much. #but yea. a little less corn for Astarion? for those who aren't horndogs? please? or just don't wanna fuck him because they #dont wanna hurt him more- (im not at the point in game where he's comfy with sex again yet-) #BESIDES GALE IN THE WAVEMOTHER ROBES IS RIGHT THERE PEOPLE- #LIKE COME ON. IF YOU'RE GONNA SEXUALISE A MAN HE'S RIGHT THERE WITH HIS PUPPY DOG EYES AN HAIRY CHEST. #There needs to be more sexualisation of Gale. NO I don't take no for an answer (Astarion is still my favourite though-)

[fightwing]

the implication some version of animated teen tita.ns vaguely like ttg exists in comic canon.... i desperately need to know who in dick's life is a die hard show fan and how many times he rants he's 'not like that'

#the titan.s: is this fucking play about us??? like do they ever watch it did they sign off rights so many questions. #especially tt/g rob.in. i find him very amusing. silly little man. i want ten of them. #titans spoilers #tuesday spoilers #comic spoilers #interesting they'd make dick infected so quickly either that was (monologue incoming) apart of his plan all along #or babs is gonna lead the plan #i hate titan.s fighting titan.s but man do i love a good 'this isnt you' plot #like having to fight but you cant hurt the other because youre trying to save them UGH okay fine youve caught my interest current tita.n ru #also i know this art style has never missed but dick and gar.th are too handsome. like im not fighting you two whatever you say handsome #also also MOST IMPORTANT MERRY KORY CONTENT TUESDAY #very upset she yet again has to relive trauma but the panel of kory and donna hugging in the explosion will help me last the winter <3 #* i'd love to write but it's just not realistic / ooc.

[henrybelly]

honestly when i tried to figure out why some fans are so mad at ivypool these days i was looking through avos and. the scene where ivypool apologises to twigpaw for not supporting sending a patrol for skyclan is genuinely very sweet??

i actually saw someone characterize this as "ivypool forcing twigpaw to forgive her". is it crack you smoke. is that what you smoke. you smoke crack?

#she apologises THREE SEPARATE TIMES #she acknowledges that dovewing and tigerheart's situation made her ignore twigpaw's feelings #she reassures twigpaw that this is the right thing for the clans. she tells her she's proud of her & tc is lucky to have her #you guys do understand that to apologise you have to Do Something Wrong?? or is that the part that's so unforgivable? #i am fASCINATED by the treatment of dove and ivy by the fans in recent years #i'm still pondering it but i think there are a few root causes #1) I think a lot of people read oots as kids and hated dove & identified with ivy because of the underdog storyline #maybe this fandom worship of dovewing is kinda part of that? wanting to feel like you've grown out of fandom misogyny? #but i also feel like 2) tigerdove has really increased dovewing's popularity #and i think because ivypool is so staunchly opposed to their relationship people then have to villainise ivypool #3) is maybe too spicy of a take but to be honest #i think people are subconsciously way more comfortable with a woman whose story ends in heterosexual marriage and childrearing #dovewing's mom role in TBC to shadowsight probably helped her popularity #so ivypool whose relationship w Fernsong & her kits is much less of a focus. and is mUCH less maternal #and who still exhibits Ugly Female Emotions like anger and hurt #and who God Forbid now holds a position of authority... #is too complicated to fit into :) she's such a good mom :) she's such a good mate #dovewing is easier to like because she tends to be a victim of circumstances (🤫 and often lacks agency in her storylines) #since ivypool regularly uses her agency to Fuck Up #fans revert to idealising dovewing because not only is she too good to do bad things. she also doesn't do Things in general #never mind that ivypool is the one who sacrifices and apologises #anyway <3 i think if i made a full analysis of ivy and dove post OOTS i would get too many spicy anons so i will cower in the tags

[sysig]

He was a human pirate, which you wouldn’t think you’d have to specify and yet (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #ZEX #The Captain #This isn't even a sci-fi pirate adventure anymore this is just straight up human pirates lol #How many layers deep can we go until it's unrecognizable! Next up is Pirate AU!Helix! (Kidding. For now) Lol #There is something funny about it all to me as well considering how in-line it fits with the research I was doing for a Vargas fic concept #All these bodice-rippers coming home to roost lol ♪ #Which is also interesting 'cause I hadn't thought about this particular fic from that perspective before but it also fits! It works well! #Yet another angle to approach it from on a reread haha ♫ #ANYway lol - human!Pirate!SCII specifically finally lol #I do love just how openly attracted the Captain is to ZEX as a human haha - his attraction/disgust to VUX-ZEX is wonderful of course #It's just so silly and cute how honest he is when ZEX is in a body that he's aesthetically attracted to haha #And ZEX recognizing and utilizing that! But it still not quite tipping him over to being completely sold on the whole kidnapping thing lol #''I don't understand it! I look beautiful and I /know/ he's attracted to me! What could be stopping him from sleeping with me???" lol #Keep trying ZEX I'm sure you'll get it at some point haha #Finishing off with an idea of ZEX having to deal with a hostile and still not quite trusting the Captain not to run away #Or risk him getting hurt! ZEX can handle this! Let him protect you! #But the Captain also wants to help! And/or escape y'know whatever's most convenient haha #He's proud <3 And he does have an affinity with ZEX at this point - he knows he can be useful! But that's not what's most important to ZEX #Also being scolded and blushing a bit hehe ♪ Given just a bit of pause to be told by such a pretty face to ''Behave'' ♫ #I do really like ZEX with the coat and braids hehe <3 Handsome

[tsukihimeyfan]

Just finished watching Wendigoon's video about Hisashi Ouchi and had a terrible, awful, no-good DP prompt idea come into my head. Come suffer with me.

So the Fentons constantly threaten to tear ghosts apart "molecule by molecule" right? What if they managed to make an anti-ghost weapon that made good on that threat? One that tore apart ghostly DNA or ectoplasm, and just straight-up turned any ghost hit by it into green goop, melted within seconds like Danny's clones?

So I imagine that at some point after destroying a couple of ghosts with this new weapon, Jack and Maddie finally manage to corner Phantom somehow. Terrified, Danny is left with no choice but to try to explain who and what he is, hoping to all the Ancients that it will be enough to stop them from hurting him.

Unfortunately for him, the Fentons don't really listen at first and shoot him point blank.

Danny puts his arms up to protect himself and closes his eyes, trembling in abject fear, imagining himself melting away into a pile of goop right in front of his parents. He desperately hopes it's quick and painless. He waits for the end.

...and waits

... and waits

The Fentons and Danny both feel shocked, but Danny eventually laughs (a bit hysterically) and continues explaining his accident, intensely relieved that his half-human nature had protected him from this weapon.

Once he explains everything, the Fentons apologize with tears in their eyes for how they had treated him. They accept him for who he is, and promise to do their best to learn more about ghosts' true natures. They decide to use their inventions in an actually scientific, ethical way, to learn more about this culture and people. Danny and Jazz are both ecstatic. Everything seems perfect. Sure, Danny might have thrown up and passed out the minute they got home from that little talk, and sure, his skin turned a bit red and painful where he got hit, but that was the extent of it, right? His human half purged the effects of the weapon from his body, no harm no foul.

But they all forget that while Danny's DNA is half human, it is also half ghostly in nature, and the weapon just tore through those parts of him like bullets through paper.

A week later, Danny's skin starts to feel like it's burning

#danny phantom #dp prompt #prompt #basically the Fentons accidentally give Danny extreme radiation poisoning and have to deal with the consequences #maybe Vlad could get a redemption arc in this #finally realizing that Maddie is not as perfect as he imagined her to be #and using everything in his considerable power to help save his Little Badger #could also be #DPxDC #dp x dc #if they end up reaching out to the justice league for their resources and expertise on non-human biology and radiation exposure #and of course every single one of them would end up loving Danny and wanting to take him away from these people who hurt him so bad #or at least help him recover and watch over him after #they wouldn't be fans of the Fentons to say the least #if anyone writes anything on this you can take it anywhere you like #but I'm personally a sucker for Angst with a Happy Ending #so in my imagination Danny manages to make it through the almost 3 months of suffering and eventually recovers #with a ton of new friends (and maybe a lover) for his troubles #but he'd never be the same #and I don't think he'd ever look at Jack and Maddie the same either #don't look up pictures of Hisashi Ouchi btw #only made that mistake once #danny fenton #btw for those who don't know but don't want to watch a 90min video about it #Hishashi Ouchi was a poor man who was exposed to so much radiation that his chromosomes were torn to shreds #**READ THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES AT YOUR DISCRETION CW IT'S NOT PRETTY IF YOU DON'T LIKE THINKING ABOUT NASTY STUFF/BODY HORROR DON'T READ #then his skin started to slough off #then the lining of his lungs. then the one on his intestines. then on almost every one of his organs #He lived for 83 days bc the best doctors in the world were trying to save him #but Yes it was probably as excruciating as it sounds especially bc his mind was intact for most of it

[thecursedanon]

Rainy Day

Characters: Lee!Yuji, Ler!Nanami, Sukuna(only in Yuji's head), Megumi, Nobara, Inumaki (because I love this little dork, okay? lol) Genre: Comfort <3 Word Count: 3166 Summary: Yuji Is super down today, that and he's not been sleeping well due to the nightmares he's been having. His friends, concerned about him go to Nanami with their concerns, and the stoic teacher takes it upon himself to cheer Itadori up. A/N: Hey, Curse here! This was originally intended to be part of the Amusement Park Aftermath fic, but I couldn't organically fit it in so I split them up... so that's why there are similarities in the setting. Enjoy!

Though the mood had been upbeat and calm in the days before, today it seemed as though a rain cloud loomed over Jujutsu Tech-- both figuratively and literally. Everyone seemed a bit more somber today.

Even Yuji wasn’t immune to the effects as he gazed out his window at the bleak gray sky, winds whipping the trees around and causing the leaves to drift around with reckless abandon.

He sighed softly, leaning over and resting his face on his palms as he watched the gloominess outside from the edge of his bed.

He heard his door open, but didn’t turn around or acknowledge it. Nobara and Megumi had been peeking in on him periodically to make sure he was still alive, clearly unused to the pink haired teen being a recluse.

“He’s still moping.” Megumi sighed.

“Should we go get Gojo sensei?” Nobara asked.

“We want to cheer him up, not make him worse.”

“I dunno, he seems pretty good at this kind of thing...”

Inumaki poked his head into the room with them, signing as he spoke. “Bonito flakes…” Megumi is right… “Mustard Leaf.” Gojo would just overwhelm him more.

“Well, do you have a better idea?”

Inumaki paused, the blonde tapped his chin as he became deep in thought. Nobara shot Megumi a look that screamed; ‘this is who we’re taking ideas from?’ as she gestured to the other teen.

“Tuna mayo?” Maybe Nanami can help?

“If Gojo can’t help, what makes you think Nanami sensei can?”

“He’s right.” Megumi nodded in agreement with Toge’s idea. “Nanami is our best bet. If something serious is going on, Yuji might be more comfortable talking to Nanami about it.”

Inumaki nodded his head, looking quite pleased with himself as Nobara sighed. “Fine, let’s go find him…” With that, the trio headed to Nanami’s classroom and explained the worrying situation to him.

“That explains why he hasn’t been blowing my phone up this morning…” He sighed softly. Yuji had a bad habit of spamming his phone with an overabundance of positive texts, or any and all memes he found that he thought were funny… most of the time they weren’t.

“I’ll go talk to him,” He nodded, standing up from his desk. “Thank you for coming to me.”

Back In Yuji’s room, he had actually started to doze off watching the rain fall down his window when there was a knock at his door. He sighed, trying to ignore their efforts.

There was another knock, this one softer and a bit more hesitant than the first. 

“Guys, I’m not dead in here. you can stop checking on me.” He called out, half asleep.

“Itadori?”

Yuji perked up at the sound of the voice. “Nanamin?”

“Is it alright if I come in?”

The pinkette nodded, but realized he couldn’t see him. “Yeah, you can come in.” he responded, turning around to look at the door.

Nanami walked in and closed the door behind him, assessing Yuji carefully for any signs of distress. “I haven’t heard from you In a while… I wanted to check in on you.” He said, his voice softer than usual.

Itadori smiled a little, and when he did, Nanami could see just how exhausted the teen looked. “Yeah, sorry… I haven’t been on my phone.”

That in and of itself was alarming.

The blonde teacher approached him cautiously. “Yuji, you look like you haven’t been sleeping.” He observed out loud. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Itadori brushed off his concern, trying to shake off the fatigue. “Just didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Watching too many Jennifer Lawrence movies, again?” There was a note of teasing on his words as he spoke to the pink haired boy. (Okay, more than a note.)

Yuji felt his face heat up. “Noooo…” He subtly nudged his chair to conceal a stack of Jennifer Lawrence movies he had in fact been watching the night before. 

Nanami, of course, saw this. He let out a small chuckle as he idly picked up one of Itadori’s blankets from the floor, folding it as he spoke. “Yuji, if something is bothering you… you know you can talk to me, right?” He asked, glancing up at the teen as he neatly set it down on the bed. “Even if you think it’s something minor…”

Yuji bit his lip and looked back out the window. “Yeah… I know that…It’s just my thoughts are so scrambled right now… I don’t even know how to start talking about what’s bothering me...”

Nanami frowned, picking up another blanket and approaching the pinkette with it. He carefully draped it around him and sat down next to him. “I understand…”

A memory flickered to the forefront of his mind, he recalled saying something similar to his best friend when he was Yuji’s age. Haibara had responded by looking for the fluffiest, most comforting blanket he could find in their dorm room and damn near smothered Kento with it as he wrapped him up in it and hugged him tightly.  

It was times like this that he wished Yu had still been alive, he’d be much better at this sort of thing than he was… “I’m sorry.” Kento said softly, his hands firmly grasping his students shoulders. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Yuji looked at the window, the rain and wind had kicked up even more outside. “Can I… have a hug?”

Nanami nodded, not hesitating to engulf him in a big protective hug at his request. “Of course you can.”

Yuji smiled, the warmth from the blanket and the warmth radiating from the tight hug was soothing to him. He wrapped his arms around Nanami in response, resting his head on his shoulder. 

As he sat there with him, the room silent save for the rain falling outside and the soft breathing, he felt his racing thoughts slowing down a bit… making more sense rather than being incoherent whispers speaking over each other.

But that soon became a problem too, as the reason for his anguish presented itself.

He was sad.

He was really fucking sad… He missed his grandpa. He was exhausted from trying to put on a brave front all the time, when the truth of the matter was; he was still just a scared, sad kid who missed the only family he had ever truly had...

As Nanami sat there holding the student, he felt him begin to tremble in his arms. “Itadori?” He asked softly, holding the teen tighter to try to silently reassure him he was okay.

“I’m… sorry…” Came the small, whimper of a reply. Small sobs escaped his shaking form as he buried his face in the blonde’s chest, his tears soaking into the blue fabric.

“Hey… don’t be sorry.” Kento responded, keeping his tone low and gentle in an attempt to soothe the boy. “It’s okay… shh… you’re okay.” He began rubbing circles into the pinkette’s back as he spoke. “I’m here with you and I’m not going anywhere…”

If Yuji hadn’t have already been crying, he would have been now. He clung onto his mentor like a scared child as he sobbed harder.

It became clear to Nanami just how much pain the boy was in, his muffled cries sounding anguished and terrified. It absolutely broke his heart, he wasn’t sure how to take the pain away from the usually bright light hearted teen, and he desperately wanted to.

“I’m so tired of being scared, Nanami!” he cried into his chest.

“Yuji… It’s going to be okay, you have nothing to be afraid of here. I’ll protect you.” The usually stoic teacher whispered in response.

“But who will protect you?” Itadori whimpered, burrowing further into his protective hold. “I can’t lose you too!!”

“Yuji…” Nanami felt his heart twist at the student’s outburst, he wished more than anything he could say that he wouldn’t lose him, and that everything would be okay in the end… but he knew from his own experience that wasn’t the case. He knew how cruel this line of work was… it didn’t discriminate with the lives it claimed.

“I can’t lose you…!” The boy sobbed, his frame shaking like a leaf in the blonde teacher’s strong arms. “P-Please…!”

“Shhh… hey, listen to me okay? I have no intentions of going anywhere.” Kento whispered, gently rocking Itadori in his arms. “Why are you so worried about me? I haven’t died yet.”

“I…” Yuji pulled back, looking up at Nanami with tears falling down his face. That also broke his heart. “I-I’ve been having these nightmares… Where y-you… you…”

“Shhh…” Nanami reached forward and gently pulled the crying pinkette back into his warm embrace, stroking his hair gently as he guided his head to rest against his chest. “Yuji, they’re just bad dreams… do you hear that? My heart is still beating. I’m still here. You’re okay… I’ve got you.”

This seemed to soothe some of anguish the boy was feeling, his sobs becoming small whimpers as he began to calm down at the sound of Nanami’s heartbeat in his ear.

They sat there In silence together for a while, the only other sound in the room was the rain hitting Yuji’s window and his sniffles and whimpers.

But soon those would silence too, and Itadori would slowly pull away from Nanami again. His eyes were puffy from all the crying he’d done, and his face was tear stained. “N-Nanamin?”

“Yes?”

“Th-Thank you…”

The blonde smiled softly at him, gently wiping away some of the remaining tears from his face. “Of course…” 

Yuji giggled a bit as Kento grazed against his neck when wiping his tears away, causing the blonde to pause and give him a confused look. “What was that?”

“Nothing.” Itadori said quickly, smiling nervously as his mentor stared at him.

Oh?

Nanami smirked, ghosting his fingers along Itadori’s neck, causing him to squeak and recoil with a giggle. “Nothing? Are you sure about that?”

“Nanami…”

“Itadori… you wouldn’t happen to be… ticklish, would you?”

“W-Well would you look at the time? I’m gonna be late for my training session with Gojo and-- ACK!”

“Oh no you don’t.” Kento grabbed onto the pinkette before he could escape, pulling him back into his arms and pinning him against him. “Even if you did have training with Gojo right now, which you don’t because he’s out of town… I’m not letting you off the hook that easily.”

“Wh-What did I do?”

“I told you I’d protect you… that includes from yourself and your sadness.”

“But Nanamin… I’m not sad any--eeeeehehehehehe!” Yuji’s protests were interrupted by a squeal followed by adorably bubbly giggles as Nanami began to tickle him.

“Oh please, don’t insult my intelligence… I know you’re still sad, you’re just not crying anymore.” Nanami rolled his eyes fondly at the boy, squeezing at his side teasingly.

“Nahahahahanami! Ihihihit tickles!” Itadori whined, but despite his complaints he made no attempts to get away.

Nanami chuckled at his reactions, sneaking his hand underneath Yuji’s shirt to lightly tickle his bare side. “Does it now~? How unfortunate for you… because I have no intentions of stopping until you feel better~”

Yuji giggled harder as he leaned into Nanami’s hold. “Ihihihihi’m not sahahahahad anymore!”

“Itadori, It’s okay to be sad…” Nanami said soothingly, skittering his fingers up and down his ribs as he spoke. “It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling… but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you suffer through it alone.”

The most adorable thing about this whole thing? Yuji wasn’t resisting, he was actually angling himself in ways that would give Nanami more access to his ticklish spots… which he found utterly adorable.

“Itadori, you know… you could at least pretend to want to get away~” Kento chuckled in amusement at his student.

“I dohohoho want to get ahahaway!” Yuji lied… because If he really wanted to get away, he totally could.

“Oh, you do, hm? Is that why you’re rolling around like a puppy trying to get me to scratch its belly?” Nanami couldn’t help but tease the boy, his fingers drifting to Yuji’s stomach. “Is this what you were looking for~?”

Itadori squealed as he felt Nanami’s fingers lightly dance across his toned stomach, practically melting in his mentor's hold as he laughed harder. “EHEHEHEHEEK!”

It’s now coming to Itadori’s attention that he may… and I repeat; may be… enjoying this. (He is.) 

Sure, every once In a while he’ll get the occasional poke here and there, or Gojo will be… well, Gojo… and tickle the absolute snot out of him but… Nanami’s tickles are much more gentle and affectionate. It’s almost relaxing in a sense… plus he never knew his parents, and his grandfather wasn’t exactly the most physically affectionate so it’s kind of healing to his inner child right now to be tickled by someone he views as a father figure.

Also, he just really loves playing around with him like this… this isn’t a side anyone sees of Nanami.

Did I mention Yuji is an adorable ball of sunshine yet? because he totally is.

“Ah, that was definitely what you wanted…” Nanami teased, his fingers tracing teasingly along his stomach, producing the most adorable giggles he’s heard in a very long time.

“Nahahahahanamin! Nohohohoho! Nahahat the behehehelly!” Yuji squealed, covering his face as his half hearted protests fell on deaf ears.

“Not the belly? why not? It seems like as good a spot as any…” Nanami hummed thoughtfully, pretending to consider it for a moment. “Hmm… Nope, sorry. I think I’m going to stay right here for a bit longer, you’re a tough kid, you can take it.”

Yuji squealed again as his stomach was tickled with more vigor.

‘Seriously, brat? He’s not kidding… You really are like a dog who wants his stomach rubbed. The only thing you’re missing is the damn leg kick.’ Sukuna taunted Yuji internally.  

‘Suhuhuhukuna shuhuhuhut up!’ Poor Yuji couldn’t even escape the teasing in his mind.

‘You know you could easily get this to stop, don’t you? Just allow me control and--’

‘Absolutely nahahahat!’

‘Why not? Don’t tell me… you actually ENJOY this, do you?’

‘Ihihihim not gonna lehehehet you hurt him!’

‘How pathetic… you truly are an annoying brat.’

“Nahahahanamihihihi plehehehease!”

The blond relented his attack, allowing the pinkette to catch his breath. “Are you feeling any better yet?” He asked gently, keeping his unofficial son trapped in his grasp as he calmed down.

Yuji nodded, giggling a bit still. “Y-Yeah.. thanks dad.”

Oh fuck.

He didn’t just…

Nanami froze as he heard those words come out of Itadori’s mouth.

Itadori panicked inwardly, his distress making Sukuna chuckle in amusement in the back of his mind. “I-I mean… yeah, thanks dad.” He said much more sarcastically this time, hoping that Nanami would go for it.

He did not. 

“Yuji… did you just… call me dad?”

Yuji felt himself tear up, fearful that he just ruined the relationship he had with Nanami. “Y-Yeah, but I meant it in a joking way.”

Kento frowned, he knew by the way the boy’s voice quivered that he was lying. “Yuji…”

“I-I’m sorry.” Yuji shook his head and closed his eyes, trying to contain his emotions. “I-I didn’t mean to… I-It… It jus-- EEK!”

Yuji shrieked as Nanami resumed his ticklish attack, now holding the teen’s arms above his head and tickling under his arms.

“NAHAHAHAHANAMI?? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHYHYHYHYHY ARE YOU TICKLING MEHEHEHE??”

“Because you’re sad again.” Nanami answered simply.

“AHAHAHAHAREN’T YOU MAHAHAHAD AT MEHEHE??”

Nanami leaned down a bit so he could speak directly into Yuji’s ear. “Why would I be mad?” His voice was low and calm, as if he wasn’t completely annihilating Yuji with tickles right now.

“BEHEHEHECAUSE IHIHIHI CALLED YOU-- EeEeEeEeEEEEK!” Yuji shrieked as Nanami blew a raspberry against his neck, cutting him off. “NAHAHAHAHA!!”

“I seem to have missed the part where you did something to make me mad…” Nanami smiled a bit, his fingers not slowing their pace against Itadori’s ticklish armpit whatsoever.

“BUHUHUHUT IHIHI… IHIHI CALLED YOUHUHU DAHAHAD-- AIEEE!”

Itadori was interrupted by another raspberry against his neck. “And?”

“IHIHIHIHIM SOHOHOHORRYEEEEHEHEHEHE!” Yuji shrieked again as he dealt another massive raspberry against his neck. Before he could form semi coherent sentences again, Nanami laid him down on his back on his bed and pinned his arms down above his head.

“Yuji Itadori… If you apologize to me again, you’re going to regret it.” Nanami said sternly, though his green eyes sparkled as his gaze remained gentle on the teen. “My cursed technique isn’t just useful for inflicting pain…It can also be used to make ticklish troublemakers even more ticklish…”

Yuji took a moment to catch his breath, and tried to collect his thoughts before responding. “N-Nanamin… Why aren’t you mad at me…?”

“I told you, you haven’t said anything to upset me.”

“But… I called you… D-Dad… That doesn’t upset you?”

Nanami smiled. “No… It doesn’t.” He let go of Itadori’s arms, and just let him lay there instead.

Yuji frowned, tears quickly flooding his eyes as he looked away. “You can’t possibly mean that… you’re just trying to reassure me-EEEE--” the pinkette squealed and began cackling again as Nanami blew a raspberry on his stomach.

“New rule, every time you apologize for no reason or overthink, I’m going to tickle you.” Kento smirked, watching as the boy composed himself again.

“B-But…”

“Yuji… I’m not just trying to reassure you. I meant that.” Nanami’s voice was gentle as he spoke. “If calling me Dad makes you happy then… you can call me that any time you want.”

Itadori sat up slowly, his eyes still sparkly with tears. “Y-You… really don’t mind?”

“Of course not.” Kento reached forward and wiped Yuji’s tears. “I happen to care about you.”

Welp. That did it… again.

Yuji started sobbing again, leaning forward and burying his face in Nanami’s chest as he ugly cried

Kento pulled him into a comforting hug, rubbing soothing circles into his back. “Shh… It’s okay now… You’re safe.”

‘You truly are a pathetic creature, you know that?’

‘That may be… but at least I’M loved sooo… suck it.’

After a few more minutes Yuji began to calm down, and he pulled back from Nanami. “Thank you… I needed that.” He smiled, wiping his eyes.

“You don’t have to thank me for comforting you, you know…” Nanami mused. “I really don’t mind.”

“Heh… Yeah I guess you’re right… sorry-- EEHEHEHE!” Yuji shrieked as Nanami reached forward and tickled his stomach, after using ratio to make him even more ticklish, of course.

“You never learn, do you?” Nanami sighed, though his words may have come out as disappointed, the playful glimmer in his eyes betrayed him.

It seemed It was going to take some time for Yuji to learn not to be so apologetic and overthink so much, and Nanami was content to keep tickling him until he got that message through his skull… Yuji was also content to let it happen.

#jujutsu kaisen tickle #jjk tickle #tickle fanfic #tword community #sfw tickling community #Lee!Yuji #Ler!Nanami #Yall... I hurt my own feelings with the whole nightmare thing 😭 #Nanami deserved b e t t e r dammit! #Okay but Ler!Nanami tho???? #How do we feel about Ler!Nanami? I freaking love him <3 #Lee!Yuji my beloved #Yuji liking tickles gives me serotonin #Also I wanted to squeeze in some comedy somewhere so... Hi Sukuna lmao #OH BTW fun fact -- The last time Nanami heard giggles as cute as Yuji's was Haibara... you're welcome for the hurt feels #I stg between this fic and the next one I be hurting my own fefe's left and right 😭 #CRIES Yuji calling Nanami dad help-- #I JUST LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i love having cats. there's just a Little Guy in my house that i can go annoy when i'm bored

#she's my bestie she's my nemesis she's my comedy partner she's my little meow meow #i poke her she smacks me #i say hi she makes an unholy noise in return #i crochet she sits in my lap and watches #i freak out bc theres a spider & she eats it #and when i keep my door closed for more than five seconds she yowls and scratches like she's been exiled #she truly is The Most Cat Ever #except also not bc she acts more like a person. shes too smart #absolutely unprompted #sorry im just feeling Affection for my small ginger menace #she is currently crouching on the rug trying to Entice me into shenanigans #ohhhh nvm she just brought one of her toys into the room. she wants me to throw it so so badly #get you a cat who plays fetch #and Wont Stop Staring oh my god i can feel her eyes boring into the back of my skull #she's just staring at me from the hallway. menacingly #her tiny murder paws.... her weirdly strong tail that hurts when it slaps me in the face... big ol ears... pink nose... She <3 #i've never had a cat with such a strong personality #sorry *purrsonality #her range of expressions and vocals... unparalleled #helped me carry a bit for a full five minutes a lil bit ago #meowed back in all the right places with the right tone #she knows whats up <3

[sparring-spirals]

oh. so. this dream and this vision and this exchange after and everything that has been building to here.

All that rage, all that desperation, Imogen's knowledge that Liliana's judgement is flawed and searching for any reason to understand, searching for a way to bring her out of it. Bring her back.

"Show me" and she does and.

Its- beautiful, its wonderful. Its the unmaking of the world and of history and it feels- so good. For a moment Imogen feels something she hasn't for YEARS. A life and a possibility and a future full of peace she hasnt had for ages, hasnt even bothered hoping for. For a moment, Imogen sees it, but more importantly- she feels it- the freedom, the peace, the dream. Stronger than any vision. She sees it. She feels it.

And she wakes up, and she- unknowingly, perfectly, mirrors her own mothers words, looks around, asks- did you see it? Did you all see that? (I wish you all could see what I could see-)

They didn't- of course they didn't. They saw Liliana, too far gone, spouting nonsense, they saw her reach out, they saw the refusal to listen to reason. They did not see the vision. (They couldn't have. Even if they'd seen it- would they have understood? How could they? No beautiful vision would have captured the thing that left the awe in Imogen's lungs- the peace. The freedom. The finality of, finally, finally, being free of this gift that has only been a curse.)

They didn't see the vision. They saw their friend, tapped on the forehead after hopeless pleas. They've been seeing their friend make further and further excuses for someone they know is a danger, someone siding with people they are working so hard against. That has hurt them. They've seen the way she can't quite denounce Liliana. They've hedged around it: If she's not on our side, will you be okay- You know if she's not on our side, we'll have to-

They've been watching. They're seeing plenty. They did not see the vision. They couldn't have.

They saw a fruitless conversation. They saw their friend rebuffed by someone she loves. They saw her wake up with a strange kind of light in her eyes and- say.

What if its not so bad? (The world ending. Half of the world being eaten. Innocent lives lost. Our loved ones cut down for a fever dream and delusions of power and grandeur. Us, cut down, for some stupid plot for a moon and petty revenge against the gods and a desire to end the world.) They've been watching her, make halfhearted arguments, sidle away. Make increasingly desperate excuses. Ask: What if.

(Its so easy to ask, what if. Its so dangerous. Sometimes the if is used to hide away lives and lives of collateral, of blood red loss. Sometimes the if has already been answered and paid for, and the act of asking is its own form of violence, all over again.)

"Well Imogen, I wish my family didn't have to die for her brighter tomorrow."

And the way Imogen collapses, a little- presses her face into her hands and crumples under the weight of the reminder, like voices piling in after weeks of being in blissful quiet in a forest. Like reality breaking in after a beautiful dream. "You're right. I'm sorry. You're right."

"I swear, I wanna see this through, I do."

"She just presented this vision of- it didn't seem so bad."

And the Bells try to help, to be kind. They say: We understand why this must be hard for you. She's someone you love, its hard to deal with them thinking a different way. What did you see?

They are trying so hard, to reason through it, to balance their own hurt with kindness and sound arguments to lead her back. They want so badly, to lead her back. Have her back.

The problem however, is not the soundness of the argument, is not the reason or the logic- but the overwhelming allure of that sensation- of that promise- of the hope- of the ideal. Of a mirage that already drew Liliana in. That is pulling Imogen's gaze, despite. Despite, despite, despite.

Hope is such a tricky thing to kill.

#okay theres like three metas here i kind of wanted to write but it turned into one frankenstein one bc i need to sleep #critical role #c3e49 #cr liveblogging #character meta #imogen temult #bell's hells #liliana temult #the three things here are something like: imigen is compromised in the way the trope of duty bound people going 'im compromised' when they #love someone- THIS is that THIS is the compromise in judgement #2 is that all discussion about flawed reasoning is- not the point. so wholly not the point. imogen is not chasing the reasoning. neither is #liliana. imogen and liliana and probably others have the sensation- have the hope- have the mirage- have a promise (they cant have) #the reasoning twists itself from there. this is how cults work! this is how like! irl dangerous idealogies work! this is why something #technically making sense CANNOT BE ENOUGH FOR A PERSON TO FALL IN LINE bc humans can reason /anything/ if the purpose is strong enough #imogen KNOWS the reasoning isnt sound. shes not convinced by the reasoning. shes hoping and her reasoning is being swayed bc of it. #she apologizes to orym. shes caught up in a sensation #3 is that the bells are so worried and i havw so many feelings about it bc they want to help her they want her to see reason #but theyre so short on time. and this hurts /them/ too. to need to defend this. explain this. at a point they need to prioritize themselves #the mission. their own emotional comfort. they need to know when- when is a lost cause and when isnt. theyve already been worried. at a #certain point- what can you do? this has nothing to do with reason. if emotional appeals wont work- what can you do. #uagahaguagahaghghgg #okay i need to sleep #im going to continue yelling tomorrow and then finish watching this convo and watch the ashton laud convo and YELL MORE #imogen meta #my meta #speculation

[pixelatedraindrops]

RainCode Sickfic (Sequel 3) preview!

(RainCode Endgame Spoilers!)

Behind the mask…lies the pain you’ve kept hidden all this time…

So as I’ve briefly mentioned multiple times, over winter break I will be writing a new fic, aka the third and final part to my RainCode sickfic trilogy. I call the it the “Sickfics of the Heart” series~ :)

The final fic I write will take place in the post game. Where former Number One, Yuma decides to visit Kanai Ward to check on his homunculus Makoto before the year ends as a break. But he finds out he’s not in good shape health-wise and decides to try to look after him.

I will be making multiple references to my first fic “Home is Where the Heart is” so be sure to read that fic first!

This fic will also contain more angst. (that I will make super fluffy in return :3)

Here is the summary of what I have planned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: A Heartwarming Reunion

With his memories back, Former Number One, now Independent Detective Yuma Kokohead has recently solved yet another case. One more step towards his goal of eradicating all the world’s mysteries. He finds himself a little tired and realized that it was getting close to the end of the year. He thinks maybe it’s a good opportunity to take a small vacation to recuperate.

New Years is usually a time best spent with family. Sadly, Yuma didn’t have any blood relatives. His secondary family was the Nocturnal Detective Agency, but with the master detectives off doing their own thing, and the chief deceased (or rather wandering aimlessly as an undead homunculus zombie) he couldn’t be selfish and take up their time.

But as he thought back to his time spent in Kanai Ward's city of endless rain as an amnesiac, one person crossed his mind. The person who shared his face, his mind and his build. The homunculus clone he had to battle to solve the city’s mystery. (Though he could not remember what exactly happened) The CEO and now Leader of the clouded city of rain full of homunculi like him. Makoto Kagutsuchi.

Yuma thought to himself that even if they were previously enemies, Makoto was probably the closest thing to a blood relative he had left. So he decides to return to Kanai Ward to pay him a visit, to see how the city is fairing and hoping he had some time off to talk and catch up. And as the city’s leader, he was usually alone. He wouldn’t mind a little surprise visit from his original …would he?

Little did Yuma know, that Makoto may have needed his help more than he originally expected. He overhears rumors in the city that speak concerns of Makoto pushing himself too hard. It turns out their city’s leader was ill, and he had only gotten worse due to his days of continuous overworking and trying to brush it off, by hiding it using his mask.

Yuma is about to experience being a caretaker for the first time in his life, and to his own double. He has a bit of trouble at first, but he has a little bit of help from his heartwarming memories of his previous found family, the Nocturnal Detective Agency. He also finds out more about Makoto in the process. Realizing that he’s been in a lot of pain…that he’s kept masked all this time, all alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also yes this edit is terrible... x'D Makoto's sprite art makes it difficult to edit into his body... I tried okay? x-x;

Anyway, I hope you will look forward to it! I will try to get it done by either Christmas or...the end of the year :3c

Also this will likely be a multi-chapter fic.

#rain code #master detective archives: rain code #rain code spoilers #master detective archives spoilers #fanfiction #yuma kokohead #makoto kagutsuchi #makoyuma #sick fic #caretaking #hurt/comfort #whumpcode #my edits #pixeledits #I WANTED TO MAKE IT CHRISTMAS BUT THEN I REMEMBER JAPAN DOESN'T REALLY CELEBRATE THAT HOLIDAY OFTEN #I'm lowkey super nervous to write this fic #writing post game yuma and makoto will be pretty tricky #but I accept the challenge! I love my skrunklies sm <3 #its makoto's turn to suffer now >:) #being yuma's clone he has the same frail immune system #and I will make him suffer a LOT so be warned #makes it all the more sweet when he's tended to for the first time <3 #also with this fic you can probably either see it a platonic or a ship #the choice is yours but I personally still see them more platonic #SORRY AGAIN FOR THE TERRIBLE EDIT x-x; #also big thanks to other people for helping inspire me with their hcs :3

[naranjapetrificada]

Ways that Lucius and Black Pete's relationship continues running parallel to and being one step ahead of Ed and Stede's:

Does anyone else wonder what it might have been like if the captains had been able to escape for a few days and fuck like rabbits, like Pete and Lucius got up to between episodes 5 and 6?

Like they're going slow, and that's great that they were able to communicate about it, but what of they had slept together the night of The Kiss 2.0? Where they were still a ways out from the external forces that intruded on everything to make a perfect storm with the ways each of them is broken? And maybe they could have had just a fucking second to be together and themselves?

(For the record I'm not saying anyone should have gone against their instincts that night, this is just a thought experiment.)

The catalyst for their first time could have just been desire for each other, or the chance to communicate their need to reconnect with each other, without a cloud of violence and death hanging over it.

They could have built up a stronger foundation of that warm and fuzzy "honeymoon phase", which they never seem to get time for, something that could have been healing for them both and would have given them much more time to practice talking with each other and learning their way around intimacy.

There would have been space for them to reestablish the kind of casual affection they had for each other in season 1 (Ed's constant touching, not to mention that Stede's love language is quality time), only now they'd be able to explore that with intent and the awareness that their feelings were mutual.

And most useful of all, it could have been an escape from the pressures of captaincy and the constant reminders of the life Ed was trying to leave behind, whether their time was spent on land or at sea, because just having a little time and space to be close to each other could have shored up their bonds with each other in really important ways.

Obviously we wouldn't have a show if that could have happened. Obviously Pete and Lucius don't have the captaincy responsibilities that would make it possible for Stede and Ed to take an extended break to connect and learn and love each other in the same way. But it's been nice to sit here and ask myself what it might have been like anyway.

#I may be coping with the new eps by reading every “they failed to take it slow” fic I can get my hands on #it's helping #I understand why things are the way they are between them right now but gosh it hurts #even knowing what DJ said about the season wrapping up in a “satisfying” way #let's get that season 3 renewal pls so they have time to fix this #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #edward teach #I just want my dads to be happy

[cordeliawhohung]

us rn

#this is not helping my cuteness aggression #i was literally just talking to rosie about this #i want to squeeze my cats so much but i don't want to hurt them but i NEED TO SQUEEZE THEM #i hope you're having a wonderful day jen <3

[sysig]

Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #The Captain #Mixed set! :D Lots of singular doodles - one-offs or ones that apply to a few different scenes #The kiss is random tho <3 I still haven't gotten to ZEX showing off his uniform to Zelnick! I want them to!! #Him seeing his Captain in his uniform was so lovely tho <3 I love Big Love and that was so <3 Hehe #Smooch ♥ #ZEX does not eat enough ;; He eats like a bird and it's highly distressing #I actually wrote in my notes that I was surprised he wasn't hurting In The Same entry as when he was experiencing hunger pangs haha #It doesn't help that he tends to talk through meals rather than eat - he's so much more interested in making connections with humans! #As far as metaphors go - killing himself for the sake of trying to bridge that gap - I mean it's apt but ZEX please #I think it was while he was talking to Wally at one point that he framed the War in a very flippant light-hearted way which was funny to me #I don't think that's the descriptor most people would use haha #Swearing <3 <3 VUX terminology <3 <3 #I want a VUX glossary of terms so badly hehe I've been slowly compiling a few here and there :3 Direct translation! The dream ♫ #Him getting stressed enough to swear is very endearing haha ♪ What do you mean I'm endeared by everything he does don't be silly #The next one of me deeply enjoying when he's creepy is not proof of anything! Just because I Happen to also like that!! #I do really love when he's creepy tho agh <3 <3 The mental image of him as The Hunter - casually cornering and capturing his prey <3 #In that instance he was interrupted pretty quickly but the setup was there!! And it was extremely good!!! #I love how huffy he gets as well haha ''All these humans interrupting my seduction attempts >O( ...Wait O|'' lol #And finally an exchange on the board between him and Scarecrow haha so many fun faces around!! #I love him being completely baffled by a non-mechanical construct it just short-circuits his brain haha ♥ #He's so intelligent but there exists things unknowable! #The image of him tapping his pen is so Incredibly cute ah <3 Where did he learn such a thing! Does it translate from his VUX form to this ♪ #Anything everything ♥ Learned or known! It's wonderful

[fishnchip3011]

everytime i actually open up sdv to play i get flashbanged with sebastian's white ass sprites because i always forget not everyone sees him as wasian💔 my current hc for him is half chinese (liable to change... but ik for sure he's half asian) but he is Not bilingual he can't rly speak or write the other language he can only understand it when listening but even then he's not very fluent LOL this is just turning into a sebastian hc post might as well go full out. to me sebastian Does have relationship experience but has been thru shitty ones in the past which is part of the reason why he's so pessimistic & brooding </3 and he'd hook up with ppl in zuzu city for a night for a while but it just made him feel shittier so he's stopped since ☝️ also people make him out to be way cooler than he actually is like yea sure he's kinda cool but he's also a Massive Loser especially when he tells you how he hates "seasonal fads" like pumpkin spice and that one line about the potluck soup where he's like "Why ruin the potluck? Hmm... I guess some people feel liberated when the rigid structures of society break down a little. Maybe I'm weird.” WHO ASKED😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 his ass also can NOT cook he can make spaghetti but it's mid. he probably has low ass stamina and yeah he's tall and lanky (rn i see him as around 5'9-5'10) but you could snap him in half over your knee. when he's in an actually healthy relationship he gets really flustered over certain romantic gestures cuz he's not used to feeling valued or being considered someone's #1. he picks up on little things and does acts of service but i also think he can be really callous and insensitive at times because while he can be pretty perceptive he is also Very Emotionally Stunted. he unlearns lots of unhealthy behaviors & mindsets with the help of his partner & family & friends ^__^

#i almost popped a vein trying not to mention rowan in all of this so this post is more. consumable i guess #but rowan to me is soooooo perfect for him to me because rowan's whole thing is empathy and warmth #where it's a strength but also a weakness for him because he's also a chronic people pleaser and a doormat #out of the need he feels to make people feel valued which is a good thing but not when its to the point of self negligence #rowan gives rly good advice but overburdens himself cuz he feels responsible for ppl&doesnt give himself the same treatment he gives others #when he's with sebastian he helps him feel valued and sebastian learns to trust people more and not to immediately assume the worst of ppl #and seb is sooooooo perfect for rowan bc seb is vocal about what he dislikes and when hes not happy w something/one #and is good at setting boundaries whereas rowan is Not. he helps rowan learn how to say no to ppl and be more assertive #& think abt his own feelings more! they both help e/o vocalize their feelings #for rowan its vocalizing his opinions more and valuing himself more & for seb its vocalizing more for the sake of better communication #w other ppl so he can establish better trust & relations w ppl. and stop being so closed off/unapproachable LOL #their differences match up well but it also leads to arguments/tension cuz seb doesnt communicate and resorts to avoidance #and rowan is too pliant sometimes to the point where it hurts not just himself but the ppl around him including seb #also fun fact rowan is the type to cry when he gets really angry/upset & when seb resorts to avoidance instead of reassurance #(which is what rowan wants) rowan sometimes ends up catastrophizing & also bottles up his emotions similarly to seb #they always reconcile in the end tho even if it takes a while </3 they r both learning ok!!!!!!!! #not perfect to the point where they dont argue bc thats Impossible but they suit each other well. they r good for each other qwq #eon babbles #stardew valley #farmer rowan #<- i talk about him in tags. hehehe

[detransraichu]

broooo not my ex making posts abt how hard it is to come to terms with being conventionally attractive while having low self-esteem issues and how wild it is to get compliments randomly on their appearance when they go out and how they're worried that their new transmasc boytoy is only into them bc they're hot -_- i'm tired... meanwhile i'm just seen as a gremlin now that i'm not hyperfem... they truly have the biggest issues in the world lol

also they were like "omg turns out i'm not ace i just needed a bf lol" and i'm like yeah. i know. you've been lusting after male characters for years. you were horny as fuck just not for me bc i didn't transition. you only made moves on me when you were bored, lonely or drunk. i always asked if that was the case and you were like no baby it's just your insecurities i don't need you to transition uwu. for 5 years. my trust issues are thru the roof now yayyyyy /dies

#lay text #i'm being mean and petty ugh #my heart kinda hurts but talking w my counsellor abt it helped #it rly helps to have a neutral third party to vent to #also i still think my ex is a good person i don't actually hate them i love them as a friend. but i do hate what they did to me #i hate that they went along w us dating bc they're too much of a doormat. i hate that they thought abt breaking up w me for years #but never told me bc they were worried i wouldn't survive without them financially or emotionally #feels so fucking infantilizing #now i'm so much better off without them despite being broke #that was my first and only real relationship my first time my first everything. i'm so embarrassed wtf i was RIGHT i was right all along #i was right it wasn't just insecurities they straight up never wanted me they wanted future transitioned male-passing me #it was all lies!!! from the get-go!!! meanwhile i did so much romantic bullshit and i was wearing rose colored glasses!!!! #and i was a big dyke. being with a woman who identified as a woman would've made me 2000x happier anyway. we could've just stayed roommates #i'm so bitter guys. i feel so jaded but i'm trying not to be :/ #and now they have so much luck in their love life #and i'm just a lonely gremlin dyke who only attracts polyam/casual girls who only want me on the side #where tf is my love story :'( i've been trying SOOO FUCKING HARD to gain my ex's affection for 5 freaking years i was the most loveydovey g #i deserve a love story i think i've really earned it by now!!!!! #so much love to give #now they have it so easy wtf. feels unfair ngl. i'm happy for them obviously they deserve happiness too. but i am still bitter >:/ #trying to process these feels instead of repressing them for once. i have a tendency to bottle up angst bc i think i'm bad for being mad #but nope those r healthy emotions!!! i can work thru this #it just sucks #if you read all of this bs i give you a cookie 🍪 <3