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charmingpplincardigans · 11 months

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IT IS TIME...to make an old-fashioned embarrassing text post like those days of yore before my old therapist started doing CBT.

So, I started an OK Cupid account. It’s kind of a big step, and also something I’ve been joking about for more than a year. Just any time something funny or self-deprecating (or vaguely dirty) came up I’d be like ‘putting that on the OKC profile!’ In the end my OKC profile is pretty tame. Maybe too tame really. I should probably rewrite my bio so I sound nerdier and more romantic or something.

ANYWAY. The point is, it’s scary, knowing that in order to be loved you must submit to the ordeal of being known or whatever, but I took a tiny step which feels like a huge step after ten eleven years of singlehood and touch starvedness. Now I just need someone to message me so I can take another small terrifying step and meet them. And so on and so on. It’s just fear all the way down with me when it comes to intimacy. IT’S FINE. I EMAILED A POSSIBLE THERAPIST THIS EVENING.

Last weekend I met with a friend who just graduated library school and talked to her about how to find a job and such. It was cathartic, and also heartening. I really do have a lot of practical skills from the work I’ve been doing for fifteen years now. She said I have experience with things they didn’t even really learn in grad school, that she’s had to learn on the job. That makes me feel a little better. I still worry about how glutted the librarian market is up here, but there really are a ton of library jobs to apply for in all different industries, so I’ll probably find something that will pay me enough and not murder me eventually.

(My Indeed email today had a listing for a Digital Archivist for the MFA but the pay only went up to $49K??? THAT’S LESS THAN THE TOO LITTLE I’M MAKING NOW. God I’d love to work at the MFA though. CAN YOU IMAGINE? Do I just apply anyway and then be like, just kidding, I want $70K, thanks.)

I’ve also been using they/them pronouns at work with select people. Mostly with my boss and within the Queer ERG channels. And I guess with my grand boss, who guessed it all on her own through a series of slightly hilarious events. I’m not demanding anything, and I still have they/she in my signature because I hate rocking boats and know that I’m femme a lot of the time so I know how people will see me and I don’t want to fight with everyone ever about it and yada yada. Maeve says that’s stupid. She’s probably right, but like. Maybe if I find a new therapist they can help me work through that. I’ve been taking up more space lately, but still not as much as a person probably should.

Like I said, baby steps.

Anyway, my boss saw me list myself as they/them in an ERG meeting this morning and during our one-on-one later she said she was proud of me for all of the hard, scary stuff I’ve been doing lately. (Which she knows about because we talk about work approximately half the time when we talk.) It feels silly to be proud of it all, because most people do this at like, 20, right? All of it. Being able to date, knowing who you are, knowing what kind of job you want. But because she’s a good person she reminded me that when I was 15 and 20 I wasn’t in places where it was safe to make some of these decisions, or even if it was, I didn’t have the support for them. So yeah, I’m proud of it all.

In the last twenty-five years I’ve gone from suicidal to ambivalent to apathetic to super depressed to figuring it out to figuring it out to figuring it out. I’m still figuring it out. But I have an excellent support system. I have people who love me and want to know the whole me. Want me to know the whole me. I have tools to help myself emotionally. I have hope.

I can lament over the lost time, or I can look ahead with a mind to make use of all the time I have left. I maybe got here a little bit after everyone else. I may still be working toward it, but I’m here and I’m working. I’m doing hard, scary things, and that’s what being alive is all about, right?

#no one cares kl #kl has perfectly reasonable feelings actually #they just ummmmmm fluctuate

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havendance · 1 year

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( From @pokemonisbeast1999. Sorry, needed to repost this answer because I accidentally posted early.)

Yeah, I'm totally down to share fic recs.

All the Roofs of Uncertainty by Kieron_ODuibhir 70k, complete. This is the probably the number 1 fic I'd recommend if you're looking for Jason fic that really wrestles with all the parts of his post-crisis appearances. Dick gets injured and Bruce and Jason spend a lot of time talking by his bedside. Set at some hypothetical point where the universe didn't reboot in flashpoint.

won't ask you to survive me by ceramicheart 750, complete. Short and sweet (well not exactly sweet), but a moment between Jason and Talia prior to the Under the Red Hood Arc.

Missing Hood by Who_First 12k, complete. Fic where Tim shows up during the events of Under the Red Hood, specifically the movie version. It’s been a while since I’ve read this one, but from what I remember, it should fit what you’re looking for.

snippet: Cass and Jason, guns and targets by @silverwhittlingknife Complete. Gotta give a shout out to this excellent little scene/fight between Jason and Cass.

The Kindly Ones by Havendance 2.5k, complete. Full disclosure, this one’s one of mine, but you came to me, so. After the events of Under the Red Hood, Jason encounters the furies.

See You At Your Worst by wildsofmarch 15.5k, complete. Finally, this one might not be exactly what you’re looking for, but I like so, I’m tossing it in anyway. Dick Grayson in his mob era interacts with Jason in his Red Era prior to Under the Red Hood.

#my fic rec lists #jason todd #batman fanfic rec #carthago delenda est #letters to the editor #dc #bats + birds + affiliated

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hsvh-hp-ficrecs · 2 months

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Hi! This is a sideblog of a sideblog, where I will be posting fic recs from the HP fandom. The fics will be about 99% Drarry as that’s my OTP, although I also enjoy some other pairings as well as gen fics. This blog is 18+ and a queer safe space (special shout-out to my fellow trans folks, given the current political climate). We don't like JKR in this house. Don’t Like; Don’t Read, Ship and Let Ship, KINKTOMATO, etc. It takes more energy for you to send anon hate than for me to delete it. Blog mechanics under the cut:

I have probably the most chaotic method of choosing which fics I read. I hit Mark For Later very liberally on AO3, to the point my reading list-turned-pool is nearing 5000. I use random number generators to decide which fics to download and put on my e-reader, and then I go in blind and open-minded. What I like about this method is that I frequently stumble upon gold I otherwise never would’ve found in such a massive fandom. In that vein, I will not be reccing fics with more than 10,000 kudos. Though I’ve loved many fics beyond that number, what more can be said about them than already has been?

(Also, if a fic appears on this blog that has over 10k kudos, it had less at the time I did my rec.) I’ve written each post ahead of time and then queued them up. I’ve spaced them so that a max word count of 5000 will be recced per day. For example, 5k word fic, another rec will follow the next day. Same for a 1k word fic. A 20k word fic will have a 4-day long break following. The max length between recs will be 14 days (so for anything over 70k). I’ll be starting with fics I’m currently reading. As they occur to me, I’ll include fics I’ve read in past. I would love to go through all my AO3 bookmarks and give each of those fics the love they deserve, but the task is a bit daunting to me right now. If you find one of your fics on this blog, know again that I loved your work dearly. I’m not 100% on everyone’s socials, so feel free to shoot me a message with links! Also, if you'd prefer I didn't link to your tumblr, also just let me know and I'll remove it right away! Cheers, Britt

#hp fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter fanfic rec #harry potter fandom #hp fic #drarry

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fyeahkaimelia · 1 year

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this has Nothing to do w greys anatomy and i havent even been active here (but hey, this season is back so i just might be too) but i need to vent somewhere and i can’t do it on main cause irl ppl follow me there. i don’t even mind them knowing these things like its not a secret or anything but idk it’s weird

i owe ab r$ 130.000 to my university. every year i Don’t Pay the bills and owe them a huge amount of money and then they let me pay like 1/5 or even 1/6 of what i owe to be able to enroll in the next school year. i’m currently starting 4th year of med school (it’s 6 years long). this time they said they’d only do that thing where i pay a fifth of what i owe now and leave the rest to pay “later” if i use a credit card, which i don’t have — all my payments have always been thru debit yk. and i can’t get a credit card cause i owe the bankS (plural, i owe money to like every bank in the country) like over 200k from loans i’ve taken before, which i’ll never pay them back probably (it’s okay, i don’t have anything to my name so they can’t legally take anything from me cause of it). which is why i obviously also can’t get a loan.

i currently have about 40k. i’m selling my shitty car for 7k, i have a solid buyer, so i guess i have ab 47k. i’m trying to sell a shitty studio apartment in a bad neighborhood for 70k, even though it’s worth ab 120k, just to try to get it sold as fast as possible. i work a part time honest job for less than a minimum wage and i use that money to “pitch in” and help pay the bills (i live w my mom and she pays for everything but sometimes we fall short).

and i sell stuff on the side. how much i sell is directly related to how much extra cash i need that month, but it’s usually around 1k. if i really put myself out there i can make much, much more, and i usually avoid that so i don’t get too well known™, but recently (since like november) i’ve been doing that, and making ab 5k a month (which is how i’ve been saving money these past few months), and i’m currently facing the opportunity of expanding that further and maybe even make up to 10k a month from selling my stuff alone, but i’m not sure if i’ll do that cause i think people are already getting too comfy introducing my services™ to other ppl, and i even got a street name. that was sort of a wake up call for me. i sometimes get texts from strange numbers that’ll be like “hey, [insert friend’s name] gave me ur number” and i check with that friend if they’re cool before selling etc, but lately those ‘friends of friends’ all started calling me dr. hu, and it sort of caught on, and ppl who aren’t in any way connected to those ppl told me they’ve heard my “name” (dr. hu) being brought up by strangers in a couple of hang out spots in my neighborhood, and that really made me rethink the whole thing. it’s okay, my neighborhood is pretty chill, there’s not much activity here, there’s only a few parks where young ppl go to have fun, there aren’t any territorial gangs or anything, so at least i’m safe from that. but still.

also, “dr. hu” is a reference to this guy (i didnt get it at first, i thought they were saying dr who first few times i heard it):

ANYWAY. back to the point. i’ve been going to class even though i’m not officially enrolled in this semester yet, cause that’s what my lawyer told me to do, cause we’ll try to get a judge to demand my uni to let me pay in installments w debit or cash or a fucking check like it’s fucking 2007, whatever, just not credit. (idk if it wasn’t clear before, but they let me pay in cash if i pay the entire amount at once, i just don’t have that rn). but if we can’t get a judge to do that (we should find out by next week), my only way out would be if i can sell the apartment until before my exams start — and they start on march 15. otherwise i won’t be able to take the exams and i’ll automatically flunk all my classes, so.

my second option (if both the apartment thing and judge thing fail) would be to transfer to a different uni. that would hurt me deeply cause i like my uni’s curriculum better, it’s the best in the state, and i know i’d be transferring to a uni that isn’t as good. and mostly cause i’m already so integrated in my uni, i have my friends and my academic leagues and i’ve been a pharma TA (which gives me a 20% scholarship) and intended to keep on it, and i write papers for it and i had big plans to write ab some of my special interests in pharma (yea drugs are a special interest to me fr lol) and get to show them in medical conferences etc.

and there’s my bf. he’s the best thing ab uni to me tbh, he’s the reason i wake up in the morning exhausted but still excited to go to class cause he’ll be there. and it’s hard for us to see each other cause we both have jobs that demand a lot from us (i work as an “assistant” to er doctors — they pay me directly to do their work part time so they can sleep or study for residency undisturbed during part of their shifts, and he works with politics). so we only rly see each other out of class like once a week; and it’s fine cause we see each other in class almost everyday and we skip class to get high and make out on campus sometimes (like fucking teenagers ik ik), but all of that will be gone if i transfer. i’ll be lucky if i get to see him for a few hours a week. and it kinda feels like my world will colapse if that happens. i know it’s dramatic but idk, he’s kinda the light of my life rn. i know i’d get over it, i’d get over him if i had to, but i don’t want it to come to that, i really don’t, cause i’m in love & i genuinely believe we could have the life of our dreams together soon enough

anyway. transferring would genuinely be horrible but i’d get used to it. i’m already getting used to that possibility. yesterday it felt like it was the end of the world, i sobbed like a child just for considering it for a second, it felt like when ur a kid and everything gets taken away from u and u find out the world is a cruel and unjust place for the first time (i got sent to an international boarding school at age 6 man idk that’s how it felt like). but now i’m already more accepting of that possibility. i’d survive it, i’ve survived much worse, and i’d learn to enjoy it (in a bittersweet way). i’d probably lose touch with my best friend from uni (which SUCKS ASS cause he’s one of the best friends i’ve ever had, friends like him are hard to come across yk), but i’d make new friends eventually. maybe i’d find a way to make my relationship work. and i’d get to Not pay 130 thousand reais to my uni; bitches didn’t let me pay my way, they ain’t ever seeing money from me again. which would be pretty nice

and my third option, my worst option, is taking a gap year. just pausing everything. i finished 3rd grade in 2022, and i’d start 4th grade in 2024. a gap year. it’d come to that if the couple of unis i’d consider transferring to need me to take extra classes (essentially “repeat” some classes i’ve already taken) because of curriculum differences. it’d suck so, so much, but i’m still tryna prepare myself mentally for that possibility. honestly med school is my life. idk how i’d cope without medicine. honestly i skip class all the time and i hate some of my classes and i hate working with clinical medicine (which i’m required to do as a student) but still, my life kinda revolves around the fact that i’m on my way to becoming a doctor. it’s kind of what i live for. i’m not a straight As student, i’ve never been a pleasure to have in class, i get Bs and mostly Cs and i don’t study for my classes like i should, i don’t turn in my assignments, i’m essentially a very Bad student, but medicine is still my life. pharmacology and anesthesiology are my special interests. reading the entire goodman & gilman book for fun several times kinda thing. and i feel like that’s what i’m worth. i know it’s not healthy, but my entire sense of self worth is based on my academic life. which is ridiculous cause i’m not even a good student! but having mediocre grades and only studying for the few classes that i actually enjoy somehow is enough for me to feel ok ab myself. not great, i don’t have awesome self esteem, but okay enough yk. but my self esteem will go to zero so fast if i simply don’t have an academic life anymore.

and what would i do with a gap year? i’d probably work more, and maybe sell more, and maybe, just maybe, i’d work on myself. study more ab the things i’m interested in, go to the gym, help my mom w her garden. but the truth is i’d probably fall into a self destructive pattern of sleeping all day and binge eating and doing drugs. letting dirty dishes pile up all over my room, wearing the same set of pjs for weeks, not washing my hair like ever. eventually stop going to work, never leave the house. start getting social anxiety, avoiding all my friends, shutting down completely. going days without eating or seeing a single person irl. it’s happened before more than a few times, i know how i can be. i’ve had enough clinical depression episodes. and i think it could go harder than ever before (the worst one i’ve ever had was in 2017, when i spent 2 months in bed).

ok i kinda spiraled there. maybe that wouldn’t happen. it probably wouldn’t happen. and one good thing is i’d definitely find a way to make more money, so i could actually spend some on something other than bills. i could finally get the tattoos i want. ok but that’s the only silver lining i can find. and even if i didn’t fall into a depression™, would my relationship survive it? cause yea, i’d have time and money to see him, work around his schedule since he’d be busier than me, but i’d feel like shit. i’d feel like i’m worth less than him because he’d be too ahead of me academically, and i’d be stagnated. i can’t explain it.

#and i can’t even go to my happy place with oxy cause i’ve built up some tolerance so staying sober for like a week isn’t cutting it #i’ll need to detox from opiates for like a month for the high to be good enough again #might shoot up morphine tmr though. KWNDSK #or do ketamine. i’ll let my bf decide what we’re doing #cause he’s never shot up and he’s never done ketamine and i don’t wanna push him into doing anything #tw #vent post #giocore

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narcissa-black-supermacy · 2 years

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can you tell us about 1. Lethe?

Ask me about my WIPs game

Lethe <3333 Lethe is my baby. My main WIP right now. My current life project.

It all started with me complaining about how there aren't enough Marauders dark fics. So some people, mainly Holli @heartofspells (who also helped name the fic <3) and Britt @fonkeloog dared me to write one myself, and it escalated from there.

It's a Jegulus (+ minor Wolfstar) multi-chapter darkfic set post-FWW where Voldemort wins the war. Right now I'm nearing 70K with it. I plan on starting to post it soon, but there are a few plot points I want to reach first so I can post all the chapters at once, then update as I go.

Here's a small snippet from one of the latest chapters:

“I’m afraid the one over your eye might scar. We will have to see.”

He looks actually worried. It makes something hot and angry bubble up inside James’ chest, even as he watches Regulus turn to Kreacher when the elf appears behind him. He picks up two vials from the silver tray in his hands and pours them both into a small ceramic mug, mixing it with the water inside.

“This is for the wounds in your mouth, hold it in for a minute before you swallow,” he says as he hands him the mug, before reaching back to the tray to pick up another bottle, “and this is a pain relief potion. Remind me to also get--”

“You’re awfully worried for someone who has done much worse since we have arrived here.”

Regulus pauses mid motion, the words dying on the tip of his tongue. He looks over to properly meet James’ eyes, taking a moment to really look at him for the first time. There is something a little stunned in his gaze at first, like he was not expecting the attack, but it’s quickly replaced by a sombre dullness the more he keeps looking. It’s probably a little harsher than he deserves, and maybe it’s the burning pain on James’ face that’s pushing him to be so aggressive, but he can not bring himself to care at the moment.

#can not explain how passionate i am about this fic #it completely consumed my life #i am so so so excited to start posting it this month (inshallah)#its very....specific and pretty dark i know some of the tags might turn people away #but this is honestly everything i ever wanted to read #so even if one person enjoys reading it like i am enjoying writing it its worth it honestly <3 #my writing #Lethe #jegulus #james x regulus #james/regulus

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waterspoutskies · 1 year

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No gunpoint I promise I'm nice but I would love to know what you love most about volcanology 👀

What I love most about it? Oooh.

I think. Mmm.

So like most things this is complicated and layered (Like most volcanoes? Wow! Science puns!) and probably requires a bit of explanation that I'm going to forget the point of halfway through, but let's give it a shot.

Hmmmmmm ok ok I know! In studying volcanoes, you’re actively interacting with and observing both the oldest and youngest “active” things on the planet. Which is cool!

I’ve got active in quotes because active is a designation, and we give it to volcanoes, but it’s a bit arbitrary and we also don’t apply it to calderas (which are still a form of volcano, or at least a hotspot depending) which legally can be active! Or dormant, or extinct. But they are generally classed as calderas specifically, not volcanoes. Why?

Because sometimes you can have just calderas, such as Crater Lake (basically all that’s left of Mount Mazama), Taupō (the caldera lake that is the Taupō supervolcano), and Yellowstone (for non Americans, our massive supervolcano national park complex that looks absolutely nothing like a volcano because it hasn’t erupted in 70k years and also once a month someone sends up a panic notice about it erupting soon), all of which are identified by their caldera rather than the volcano itself. Other times, you have the caldera- which I’m now realizing I haven’t defined, a caldera is the depression left behind when a magma chamber empties- just chilling inside or somewhere along the slopes or peak of a volcano, usually in the volcanic crater, but sometimes not. Mount St. Helens has a great example of this, so does Pinatubo! Pinatubo’s is on the top, in the crater, Mount St. Helens’ is... Not. Because the ‘80 eruption went sideways.

I’m getting way off topic!

If you go to an active volcano (active does not mean erupting, let’s be clear on that) you will encounter the youngest rocks in the world! Don’t touch them. They are still hot.

Took me a couple days because I had all my exams this week to make up for not having them last week, sorry about that!

#Question Paloma #Is anybody listening?#You heard? No.#Fun Facts With Paloma #I just like volcanoes #They are cool #I have been to so many #Which means not enough

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seriouslysam8 · 2 years

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Wait will Moribund be the end of the AU series?

Short answer: I don’t know.

Long answer: I’m still very up in the air about the future of my writing in general. Sometimes I think Moribund should stay in MOT series because I’ve queued it up in Legerdemain perfectly, in my mind. I had the idea of having a story called Fugue (I have nothing written anything down about this story but I have about 80% plotted out in my head) between the two stories to really tell what I think it’s a great overall plot.

But… MOT lost its sparkle with all the negativity around Legerdemain and just discouraging comments. The AU was born out of the idea that if I’m going to get criticized, I might as well get criticized for writing exactly what I want to write and not having to gloss over and fix stupid canon shit. I know I’ve said this before and I’m a broken record at this point, but if I had known at the time of writing Brontide that I was going to make a series, I would have done so much differently and then maybe I wouldn’t be so disconnected and discontent with the MOT series as a whole.

But with the AU series, which I have been calling the Petricher Series in my head and on my computer, I struggled on how to connect Moribund without the intro of Legerdemain. Honestly, it came to me when I was writing Backstabber. Now, I know Backstabber isn’t what I normally write and you guys may not want to read a Marauders story and just want to read Hinny, but something very specific and significant happens in Backstabber that plays a huge role in the AU series. Instead of just trying to explain it in Brumous, I thought I’d write a one-shot about it. That one-shot turned into six chapters and probably around 70k in words because I go big or go home, right? BUT it works out because this thing that happens in Backstabber allows me to tee up Fugue and then Moribund.

I know that Backstabber and Moribund happen like forty years apart, but what can I say? I play the long game and really try to weave my stories together.

So, honestly, Moribund could go either way. I could still decide to put it in MOT, I could put it in Petricher, or I could scrap the entire idea. What I do know is that I don’t have any ideas for what happens after Moribund no matter what universe it fits into.

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all-these-larrythings · 2 years

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5 fics of mine I really like

Thanks so much to @phd-mama for tagging me forever ago! Tagging @allwaswell16 (but you may have already done this 😬)

Initiate the Feeling, 71,772, Teacher au

Success. “I’m Harry.”

The boy just smirks and continues to draw not looking at Harry at all. “Soooo are you going to tell me yours, or am I going to have to charm it out of you?”

This one never ceases to entertain me because it’s one of my first ever fics from when I didn’t know how to edit ideas, so somehow it is over 70k. I’m even laughing now because what the heck. BUT I absolutely love that I had a vision and went for all 1,293 of them XD

You're Writing Verses About Me, 23,985, Roommates/Anonymous note au for @fallinglikethis

Harry quickly ties on his shoes before heading for the door to leave. Louis lets the tension ease out of his shoulders when Harry steps out of the room, but his heart seizes in his chest again when Harry doubles back into the room and makes a beeline right for his bedside table. Louis doesn’t dare move or breathe while Harry bypasses the sunglasses Louis thought he was after, watching on in horror as he searches for whatever he needs inside the drawer, and all Louis can think over and over again is ‘please don’t notice that I moved your dildo’.

I wrote this for a friend and I absolutely loved getting to surprise her with it! I was super proud of this one!

When It's Late At Night, 25,599, Late Late Show au

It’s so simple; it’s just one line and it already has Louis contemplating all his life choices for the past twenty-five years. It’s not some bubblegum pop song about love. Hell, it’s not even pop. Louis doesn’t know what’s going on here or how this song managed to slip under his radar, just that he may have been completely wrong about Harry Styles.

I think wrote this just weeks before H’s first solo appearance on the show (don’t quote me on that). I had too much fun trying to write games and segments that he might choose to do.

Superhuman Tonight, 23,239 Misfits au

It’s like trying to make their way through a battlefield with so much ice exploding around them and whole pieces of trees and buildings breaking off as a result.

“What the hell is going on out here? What is this?!” Louis yells next to him, just barely avoiding being crushed by an ice block. Another hurdles straight for him sending Harry’s heart rate skyrocketing.

“WATCH OUT!” he screams, reaching out to push him out of the way of certain death when another clap of thunder paired with a blinding flash sends them all flying back.

MAN was I thrilled to have an excuse to be more obsessed with Misfits. I often think about writing a sequel because I loved getting to merge these two worlds and I still love this show.

Send My Love, 17,213, Dating App au, written by me and @fallinglikethis

“My point exactly. How long is this messaging back and forth going to go on for? You could be talking to anybody.”

“I’m not talking to just anybody. I’m talking to Harry .”

“Who could be a one-hundred-year-old lady sitting on a park bench somewhere messaging you in between feeding the bloody birds.”

Louis frowns at his logic, but finds that he can’t really argue with it. People make fake profiles every day, and at times, Harry really does seem too good to be true.

Writing with @fallinglikethis is always so much fun! This is probably my fav fic we’ve done together because it is a little bit silly so we laughed a lot just bouncing ideas off each other.

#writing is fun!#writing with friends is fun-er!#5 fics of mine I really like

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omgfloofy · 2 years

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NaNoWriMo Week 2 Progress + Ramblings

I’ve not posted about my story project on tumblr for awhile, so I’ll post my weekly update for NaNoWriMo here.

I started posting about a FFXV fic that I was writing after my mom passed. Turned out it was very therapeutic.

So. I found a prompt that was cool and decided to write on it, and decided that I’d use the story for NaNoWriMo. I mean, I could have cheated a bit, since I was already at 40k when November started, but I opted to use NaNoWriMo to build on what I had already written.

So without further ado...

For NaNoWriMo, I’m currently at 28,460 words. This creates a total of 68,588 in my story. My story is broken into multiple files.

Main Draft File: 48,974 Main Snippet File: 17,432 That Audacity Tho: 2,182

That third file is a file that inspired me to use my CSS skills to create a custom theme for AO3 when I finally start posting this story somewhere. I’m about halfway done with said theme. I just need to work said theme more. I still have a lot of time for that, however. I’ll probably do more work on it when I’m closer to finishing the second draft or something. (EDIT: I realize that I should rename classes because they’re actually kind of spoilery and if you like diving into code, then you’ll spoil yourself on shit. Whoops.)

I’m pulling in some concepts that are normally found in things like analog horror- and am surprised that we never saw more of this kind of thing in FFXV, to be honest. Modern technology + magic being in the same environment makes it such a fun playground to have some tech+magic fuckery.

I’ve found that I struggled a LOT with writing Ignis, but I think I’ve settled a lot more to writing him, and a scene that has him as a major player in it has started being rewritten to make him sound more appropriately in-character. And I found that by doing that, it feels like he’s changed the tone/direction of the scene from what I planned it out to be originally.

Sounds on point for him, I guess.

A pair of throwaway side characters have created such a “I’m done with this” reaction from Noctis that I found myself wanting to have more with them in the story. Which turned into writing a scene on the side for the hell of it with Noctis meeting them. Strangely enough, I didn’t expect myself to actually turn it into a tense situation, because I realized while writing, that the scene was the perfect place for a major piece of that ‘analog horror’ element to come into play.

I’ve got several planned “blocks” for my story of particular events based on the prompt I read. I’m comfortably playing around in at least two of them now, with a third started. There are two more that I really need to start piecing together to pull these snippets into the main file, but that also means pulling in a set of characters (hi glaives), and then bringing all of the characters together down the line.

I feel like I have a lot of work cut out for me, but at the same time, I’m still enjoying this time in this little sandbox of Google Document files. It’ll probably be quite some time before I can make any of the story public- and I want to evade putting too many things out there because I want to leave some surprises in the story. I’m still proud of what I’ve done- especially since I’ve not written ANYTHING in years. So I felt a bit startled at how much I had to write to make this story work. Especially when I was worried about how much motivation I’d have for it or if I’d fizzle out somewhere. Now with almost 70k words together, I find myself coming to realize that I’m actually wanting to see this whole thing finished.

Yay. <3

#NaNoWriMo #fanfic writing #fanfic progress #ffxv #final fantasy xv

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artemismn · 1 year

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wowww an essay thak you !

im assuming you picked the last option, which is like You need to do more than fanfarm

i agree with that one too, and i do think reading stories and having an understanding of the character you produce matter more than what you have of the character in the game. overall.

when i think of producing wataru, and what i want of him, i want lots of itabags and a truck full of nuis and every keychain thats ever been made

i also want a deep understanding of his character, i want to know him more so so so bad. ive read maybe 1/3 of the wataru stories so far

in the game i have 70k fans and am only missing a couple of his cards

ive been crazy about wataru everu day for over a year too

i was seeking peoples opinions and views, thank you for delivering so well 🙂

Hello! i’m glad that i didn’t annoy you with that essay in the notes haha

I actually picked the 3rd to last option, that the only requirement to produce is to like and pay attention. it most closely aligned with my view point that all you have to do it engage with the character on a regular basis, even if it’s not as grand as having a full ita bag or having 10k+ fans. since even if it seems small to me, like i said in my reblog, there’s so many different ways to enjoy a media like enstars that i feel like i don’t really have a place to draw a line on what’s “enough” to be a producer! i mainly used hyperboles in my “essay” to explain my point. honestly, as long as someone isn’t claiming to be a producer of a character then consuming literally 0 content of said character, not participating in any events, not pulling in gacha, and not even talking about the character regularly (basically not engaging at all) then i’m not going to say they aren’t a true producer of a character ^^ though i do understand your perspective.

my perspective probably comes from my relationship to enstars throughout the years. i started playing in late 2016 at age 12 and now in 2023 i’m 19 lol. i’ve always been a fineP, with tori being my first fave then wataru turning into my number 1 fave shortly afterwards. over the years my level of interest has fluctuated, with there being times of obsession and times of hiatus, but i’ve always come back to the same characters, to wataru and fine as a whole, you know? even during the times of hiatus, there’s never been a time where i didn’t consider myself a wataruP/fineP. same thing with the friends i’ve met through enstars, i’ve watched them leave and come back to the game (perhaps come back more casually), but i don’t see their love for their faves leave them. in my eyes, i still see them as producers for those characters.

sorry for giving my whole enstars back story lol, your post/ask just got me thinking about my relationship to enstars! ^^ very introspective topic.

to me, wataru is a character that has always brought me happiness. when i think about what i want out of wataru, what i think of first the is comfort and happiness he provides to me. i want to see him and i want to understand him as a character. he’s someone i relate to very much. i want his cards and i want to get merch of him.

right now i have all but one of his cards on enstars!! music (i missed his 7th anniversary card during a hiatus waahhh). i only have about 43k+ fans though (going for rank B rn) because like i said in my “essay”, collecting fans wasn’t really an aspect i really considered much or cared about, at least not until recently haha. (he’s on all my main teams, but they all got maxed out so i didn’t progress far after that). i was planning on making an ita bag for him/fine a few years back (even bought the bag for it) but uhh yeah that adhd slump hit and ive ran out of spoons for it ^^; it’s fine though i’m happy with my nuis and scattered merch

anyway thanks for the ask 👍 i think your perspective is very interesting and i liked hearing about how you view your relationship with wataru! sorry that this turned into another, even longer, essay i love talking about things. have a nice night/day :)

#mine #ask #i think this is the most i’ve ever ‘spoken’ at once on tumblr lol #i’m usually more of a lurker #my essays get saved for my ig and dms lol

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zephiesjournal · 2 years

Text

wednesday, october 26th, 2022

alright so. in the middle of writing the part of yesterday’s journal where i got up to gamble in the middle of writing about gambling, i again got up to gamble. let’s hope that doesn’t become pavlovian. i couldn’t find any other sites that i could be at least hopeful wasn’t a scam so i resorted to an overseas crypto casino i had to use a vpn to access, which i assumed meant i’d have to jump through hoops to make payments work. i initially threw away another £100 on this site, feeling completely out of control of my actions, and said yeah i’m probably okay with draining my whole bank account today it’d be a nice fresh start, which again is probably the dumbest thought that’s ever crossed my mind, and i knew that at the time even while thinking it. i deposited another £100 and then things all turned around.

i don’t even know where to begin really, i didn’t write down anything during the many hours i spent on this one slot, starving but not wanting to pull myself away from it until i hit this bonus wagering requirement. the whole site was in bitcoin but, an abbreviated version that i guess isn’t standard so i could not find anywhere online that could convert for me so i actually knew how much i was betting and winning. there was this one slot that was weirdly nice to me, i did not deserve it in the slightest but it was putting big numbers in front of me consistently. i think one spin won me 27 thousand somethingbitcoins which again i couldn’t tell how much it really was i just knew it was a hell of a lot more than i had to begin with. i eventually started having auto-spin and immediate results on all the time because that was the only way i would ever be able to get through the wagering requirement in a day since the maximum bet for the bonus was really low, i think.

i’d seen this before though, make a pretty amount about midway through the wagering so it seems like there’s hope i can make it through to the end then it all just comes crashing down before i get there. eventually i stopped even having excited reactions to decent spins because no matter how close i got to completing wagering i knew at some point, somehow it would all end, or i wouldn’t be able to withdraw, or something just something would go wrong, not to mention being all too aware of how much my brain was being abused hitting spin thousands of time. eventually upon checking the bonus page the amount i had left to wager was less than i had, like wow i’m actually going to at least make most if my money back probably i thought. i think when i deposited £100 i had around 5 or 10 thousand whateverbitcoins and the most i had at one point was over 70k, and by the end it was around 55k.

thank god for the wagering requirement because i just wanted it to end, to actually be able to stop and withdraw, whereas if there wasn’t one and i could withdraw whenever i definitely would have kept going until i’d lost it all. i must have had to wager thousands of pounds and i can’t believe i managed to. then there was just the matter of finding out if i could actually withdraw it, because i was using a vpn and i’d signed up with a fake address but it’s crypto stuff so maybe none of that matters or the cryptoheads in charge don’t even care. also every time i’ve been forced at gunpoint to make a crypto transaction i am nothing but anxious that it’ll even go through, and if it does i’ve somehow enabled some kind of fee that takes away half of it. i truly could not be sure how much i was even withdrawing no matter how many conversion sites i tried, they all seemed to give varying amounts, i assumed, and hoped, it was probably around £4 or 500, and that i was incredibly lucky to be forgiven and have, i think, made my money back after this small weakness period. then the blockchain thing converted it to $1200 like no that’s not right, then i realized i couldn’t even remember how many millibitcoins it said i had when i deposited to the casino. transaction finally went through after a lot of refreshing and checking the “confirmations” and it sure was a grand.

i was in a perpetual state of relief the rest of the evening, like i’d just stared complete financial collapse in the face and made it out alive. i can’t believe how ready i was to throw it all away but i somehow doubled what i’d lost, and i genuinely felt like never doing that again because i knew how lucky i’d gotten. screw that self-help book i downloaded it turns out the cure to my addiction was to basically have a near-death experience. i truly feel like my luck bone has been sucked dry, and now i’m back to having £2k after months of depressed frivolous spending. now i’m wondering if i should even buy that new pc or see if i can have enough to move out soon, there’s still the issue of having to pay 6 months rent upfront due to being unemployed when i move cities but there’s gotta be some landlord out there who’ll hear that universal credit will cover £550 of my rent and be okay with that. now would be an amazing time to move out, would be an infinitely nicer “fresh start” kind of thing for 2023 than emptying my freaking bank account.

aaanyway i played the new world of warcraft patch for a while and wrestled with the UI the whole time, felt like i’m finally falling out of these time vampire games because i’ve had this improbable chance to finally get my life together bestowed upon me. but now do i gamble on a new pc that could either heavily delay how quickly i can move out or give me the opportunity to make even more by finally getting back around to this monetizing myself thing. ouhgghhh, i think i can at least focus on preparations in the meantime, might even keep me off those damn videos game having a system that increasingly seems like it can’t run them without wanting to throw up everywhere. the best thing that new wow expansion can do for me is up the system requirements. god i did not deserve today.

#october 2022

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buffintruder · 2 years

Note

Shaking Like a Leaf Underneath Your Family Tree [fma]

Greed sub vs dub [fma]

Story [original]

please <3

Thanks!

Shaking Like a Leaf:

So.... this is a long story that is still in my wip folder because even though I'm never going to post it, I've worked way too hard on it to truly abandon it.

Basically it's a Lucifer au gone out of control (idk how much you've seen of Lucifer, but the premise is that the Devil leaves Hell to go run a bar and ends up helping the LAPD solve murders. he also has daddy issues and refuses to tell lies, so big Greed parallels there)

In my au, Greed is a demon (Father is the Devil) who ran away and runs his bar. Ed is a cop who is reluctantly assigned to work with Greed but is super suspicious of him because nothing about his backstory makes sense and Greed also insists that he can compel anyone to tell him their greatest desire, which seems to actually work on everyone except Ed and Al.

Meanwhile, one of Ling's siblings at the highly nepotistic and competitive Xing Corporation has been murdered, and all Ling knows is that Ed's new partner has the weirdest most terrible qi he has ever felt and that something has to be up with him.

Also, Scar, Lust, Izumi, and Hohenheim all show up at some point with fun magic and angel/demon stuff.

I think last I checked, I had over 70k words of this au, but I'll probably never finish it. (I am planning on making a folder with all the chapters I've finished and edited to share with friends though, and I can send you a link, or anyone who dms me asking for it)

Greed sub vs dub:

This is my 'i didn't have to write a thesis paper for my history degree so i'll write one on fma for fun' project that i haven't touched in like a year pff.

Basically I wanted to analyze the difference between Greed's character in the subs vs the dubs and maybe talk a bit about adaptations and American vs Japanese expectations of that archetype of characters and stuff.

In the last ask I answered I said I wouldn't post an excerpt but well, I guess I change my mind.

Another person that Greed holds power over yet once again shows a more positive treatment towards is Ling Yao, the person he possesses. When first entering Ling’s body, Greed in the dub says, “Am I really supposed to use this little brat?” He does not appear pleased to be given the body of a teenage boy to use, nor is he impressed by Ling himself, and actively voices these thoughts to Ling. There is an element of dehumanization here as well, as he sees Ling more as a tool with the purpose of being of use to Greed and not as his own person. In the sub, Greed says, “What’s a little kid doing in a place like this?” Rather than disdain, the main emotion that comes across here is confusion and possibly even concern. Though he does not appear to think too highly of Ling in either version, “brat” is a harsher term than “kid”, which is factually true even though the preceding adjective “little” makes it somewhat condescending. His first thought when coming across this strange situation is of Ling rather than his own personal problems. While neither is particularly benevolent, the sub version of Greed does not go out of his way to insult or belittle Ling during their first meeting, showing their relationship from the very start to be on less antagonistic grounds than in the dub.

After that first line, the dub continues, “Oh well. Just hand over your body. I guess I’ll have to make do with it.” Again, Greed expresses his dissatisfaction with Ling and his body, saying that they are far from his ideal. By making these negative judgments, Greed places himself in a position above Ling; Ling is not good enough for him and Greed does not care enough about him to avoid insulting him. In comparison, the sub takes a far more neutral stance on Ling. “No matter. Hand over your body. I’m going to use it.” The “no matter” here takes on a different meaning than the “oh well” the dub uses. In this case, Greed is brushing off his own curiosity over Ling’s situation to get to the point which is to possess him, rather than adding more emphasis to the idea that Greed is settling with Ling as the dub does. Over all, the subbed Greed is far more neutral towards Ling. Demanding his body is not a kind action, but the sub does not have this newly reborn Greed act with any sense of malice, merely a callousness of following his nature and orders above any other concerns.

Story:

Uhhh I really don't know how to describe this one so I'm just going to give you the first part of it.

It is rare for my kind to interact with you humans. We are busy attending to our own matters, and humans do not often factor into them. We see you as too far beneath us to be of any concern. Not in a malicious way—we simply do not notice or care.

There is the occasional contact between our kinds, however. Sometimes it’s intentional, when one of us gets bored and turns to one of the sentient, mortal races such as yourselves to prod at for amusement.

Most of the time it’s just an accident. A human might see a rainbow appear on a clear and sunny day, a fire spark where there was none before, a waterfall flow backwards, or any one of the more obvious things we might cause without even realizing there is an audience for it.

My kind does have a few of our own stories about humans, though far less in number than you have of us. One of the ones that has stuck in my mind since I first heard it goes something like this:

Once upon a time, there was a human who killed one of our kind. For many years, she kept them in her home out of selfish desire, and at last, in her dying days, she destroyed them, wiping them completely from all of existence. This is how the first and only one of our kind died.

This story is true, and it is not true.

For my kind, stories are not solid unchanging things. We have no concept of truth, only of narrative. Each story has its layers and variation, shifting from person to person and between retellings, echoing differently in every mind.

This is the first version of the story I heard, but it is not the version I will tell.

For beings as powerful as my kind, time does not work for us the way it does for you. Different cultures have their own concept of time, but for the most part, humans agree that the past and present can be known while the future cannot, merely guessed at and predicted.

But for my kind, the present is the only certainty, even as it is ever moving. Our past and future are known, but they are known as stories, also constantly changing. I have heard many versions of this story long before it came to pass, and now that it has happened, I hear many more. I will tell my own versions of this story, and though my kind will refuse to listen, many elements will nevertheless spin their way into the versions of others.

This is one such influenced version:

Once upon a time, there was a member of our kind who was too curious for their own good. Bored with the usual patterns of our lives, they stuck their nose into business outside of our own, in search of new stories to hear and tell, ones that were nothing like the ones we know.

Their search led them to a human village where they grew fascinated by one who lived there. She was as bright as the moon and soft as sunlight, and they were entranced by her, forgetting all their ties to us.

That was to be their flaw. The human killed them, the one who trusted and loved her, putting a final end to the story of their existence. None of us came to their aid, for it was their own fault for being seduced into turning their back on their own kind. And so they died, the first and only one of our kind to do so.

Now, we keep more firmly to ourselves, for mortals are not to be trusted. Many are cruel and power-seeking, and would use their fine words and trickery to steal our lives for the sake of their own power. One time already, they have taken the life of one of our own, but never shall they again.

This version, again, is true and it is not.

But my version of the tale, as one who has lived through these events and felt and saw the story for myself, is not so simple nor so tragic.

#my writing

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wangxianficrecs · 3 years

Text

I'm in the mood for a fic where...

~*~

1. Hello~ Thank you for your blog! Do you have any fics of lqr beings good parent/uncle? Thank l you!

Here are 13 with my tag #lan qiren is good

Lan Qiren Week 2021 Collection on AO3

小兔子 | Little Bunny by dragongirlG (T, 6k, lan qiren & lan wangji, wangxianj)

記憶猶新 | Fresh in One's Memory by dragongirlG (T, 2k, lan qiren & wei wuxian, wangxian)

~*~

2. Hi! I was wondering if you knew and fics where (a) everybody lives and wwx is/gets pregnant w lwjs child. preferably where they also get married really fast. canon era or modern au is fine! and (b) where lwj refers to wwx as his wife, thanks!

Little fall of rain by Lucky_Moony (M, 11k, wangxian) - most live + preg!wwx

Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, series in progress, my post)

no actual pregnancy but lwj believes it:

Lan Wangji, I Don't Think That You Impregnated Wei Wuxian by tinitin (M, 6k, wangxian, my post)

Propagate Understanding by draechaeli (E, 176k, wangxian, my bookmark) - no actual pregnancy but lwj believes it

Taking Responsibility by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 6k, wangxian, my bookmark)

❤️unabashed indecency by quags1re (T, 25k, WIP, my post)

Propagate Understanding by draechaeli (E, 176k, wangxian) - they use a-ma instead of a-niang, wwx refers to himself as the wife a lot, and Yiling calls him the Yiling Matriarch

~*~

3. Ahhh I just wanted to start off by saying how incredible this blog is!! I’ve never seen anyone do the things you do for all of us. You and this blog have been such a bright spot in this terrible year so thank you so much. [That’s wonderful, thank you so much!] I was hoping for your next in the mood for post you could direct me to fics where wwx gets to have protective big brother figures. I’ve read all your non yuemeng recs and loved when he got to be the one people looked out for so I’d you have any like that that would be awesome!!

Aftermath by KouriArashi (T, 58k, xuanli, wangxian, my post) - big sister jyl

Live by WithBroomBefore (G, 23k, wangxian, jiang siblings) - big sister jyl

❤️shades of grey by cl410 (M, 59k, nielan, wangxian, nie huaisang & wei wuxian, big brother nmj) - you’ve probably read this one

what builds a home by Stratisphyre (T, 46k, wangxian, jin guangyao & wei wuxian)

❤️grow by cafecliche (T, 14k, wangxian, my post) - de-aged wwx with big-brother juniors

They're both time travel, but WWX is being taken care of in the manner of older siblings:

For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian)

Sail Away Sweet Sister by sami (M, 74k, wangxian, nieli)

~*~

4. Hey Mojo! Do you know any stories where trauma or like anything (except dogs) from wwx's time on the streets is a focus point?

taste of love by ectocosme (G, 7k, wangxian, my post) - more lwj’s trauma from wwx’s time on the streets

❤️grow by cafecliche (T, 14k, wangxian, my post) - Wei Ying's time being hungry, being scared of adults is shown

LQR finds Wei Ying in Yunmeng:

You Need Tending by Eleanor_Fenyx (T, 12k, wangxian)

You Are Of Their Ilk by Eleanor_Fenyx (T, 12k, wangxian)

❤️The Three Jades of Lan by IceBreezeT, 37k, series with 5 works, WIP, incomplete, my post)

focal point in the beginning as wwx learns to adapt to life in a safe place:

Life is Like a Stranger by through_shadows_falling (T, 70k, wangxian, my post) - focal point in the beginning as wwx learns to adapt to life in a safe place

who you can call your home by charsystem (G, 3k, no pairing, series in progress, 2 works)

~*~

5. for the next "I'm in a mood for..." I really want to read some juniors fall in love (between them or outsiders male or female) - just please do not recommend me A-Yuan/JinLing couple fics, I don't like them that way

you, whose heart would sing of anarchy by doodlebutt (T, 9k, zhuiyi, my bookmark)

spirit running wild by idrilka (E, 17k, zhuiyi, my post)

how about we try it once? by dan_ewrites (T, 1k, zhuiyi, my post)

Half-Baked Quest by Jump_Pilot (T, 19k, zhuiyi, wangxian, my post)

❤️anyway, here’s wuji by kakikaeru (T, 18k, zhuiyi, wangxian, my post)

❤️best friends forever by varnes (T, 17k, wangxian, lingyi, my post) - there’s potential future 4some if you squint

how can i find the words to say (love has surely shifted my way) by annadream (G, 7k, lingyi, my post)

Meet in the Middle by Sevidri (T, 19k, ouyang zizhen/jiang cheng, my bookmark)

Hiding Place by HanguangMoon (T, 26k, chengyi, my post)

6. Hello you amazing person! I was hoping you'd be able to help me find the some Fanfictions that involved Wei wuxian either (a) Wearing a dress or (b) Being referred to as "Mom" or a-niang by any of the juniors , or both. I have read Mother Knows Best and I just absolutely love those aspects of it.

The Amazing Adventures Of Jiang Xiaolian And Family by bumbledees (T, 67k, wangxian, series in progress, my post)

❤️By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (not rated, 32k, wangxian, my post)

My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, wangxian, my bookmark)

i’ll be your girl by plonk (E, 38k, wangxian, my post)

A Flower in Bloom (or Wei Wuxian Crashes a Party) by UmbrellaMartialGod (E, 30k, wangxian, my post)

on restitution by Anonymous (M, 95k, wangxian, WIP) - for 6a and 6b

Propagate Understanding by draechaeli (E, 176k, wangxian) - they use a-ma instead of a-niang, wwx refers to himself as the wife a lot, and Yiling calls him Yiling Matriarch

~*~

7. Hey, thank you for your wonderful blog. Do you know any fics where lwj has scars on his face or he just becomes unattractive? ~ @azraelvorlost

set the bone straight by AlfAlfAlfAlfAlf, tardigradeschool (E, 128k, xiyao, wangxian) - facial scar isn’t a huge plot point, but it’s there

~*~

8. Hii !! I was wondering if you know very angsty fics ? Like .. angst taken to the next level ? There's For the Best that basically fits the 'very angsty' definition so I'm looking for similar stuff .. it doesn't have to be time travel or anything .. Thank you so much (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) <3

rain falls and soaks into the earth by RoseThorne (T, 28k, wangxian, series in progress)

Closer Than Eternity by Netrixie (T, 27k, wangxian)

ghost out on the water by twigofwillow (T, 15k, wangxian, my post)

flame and rust by cl410 (M, 35k, wangxian, my bookmark)

❤️And Miles To Go Before I Sleep by Glitterbombshell (T, 24k, wangxian, WIP, my post)

my bookmarks with the phrase “so much angst”

@angstymdzsthoughts is a whole Tumblr devoted to angst; many of the posts later grow into full-blown fics.

@mondengel is a good writer to follow for angst,

breadknives- i hurt my faves by yeasting_laozu (T, 8k, wangxian, series of ficlets)

~*~

9. Hello! For the next “I feel like a fic where…”, do you have any recommendations of fix-it Fics that take place as canon divergence directly after the events of Xuanwu cave? So like a canon divergence where they don’t split up after the cave, instead they stay together and the portrayal of the war goes differently? And they get to be together and avoid wwx’s death? A little bit like a fic I’ve recently read called hope dangling by a string. Thank you for all the hard work, love this blog!!!

❤️Questions at Dusk by ExtraPenguin (hilarious crack, E, 18k, wangxian, my post)

❤️tame by rikke (M, 12k, wangxian, my post)

sunlight through a window by RavenclawLoki (T, 17k, wangxian, my post)

Quartet by WithBroomBefore (T, 69k, wangxian, jiang cheng & jin zixuan & lan wangji & wei wuxian)

~*~

10. anyone have any (a) older!lwj fic recs? (b) or any fics where lwj isnt the first person who discovers wwx after the resurrection - like jiang cheng or jin ling or someone? thanks so much for this blog, youve given me hours of reading material! [😄]

10a

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight Verse by stiltonbasket (G, 431k, 34 works, lwj is over 40 in many and wwx over 40 in some of the later ones)

Dan Tian / Heaven by ArchiveWriter (T, 42k, wangxian) - a series of slice-of-life vignettes after they’ve retired to farm.

10b

❤️By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (not rated, 32k, wangxian, my post)

❤️whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 102k, wangxian, jin ling & other characters, WIP)

A Bell That Tells Us to Rise and Fight by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (T, 121k, wangxian, chengqing, xuanli, my post)

To Deserve So Much More by renysen (T, 20k, wangxian, my post)

Beauty and the Boot by PTchan (T, 45k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

11. Hi Mojo! It’s me again. I basically camp in your blog now, ahahaha. [lol, welcome!] TYSM for your service. I was just wondering if you know any fics where wwx is a disciple of bssn or maybe cangse sanren formed a sect of her own? Or anything where cangse sanren and her husband did not die?

autumn leaves falling slow (like fragile shells drifting in the foam) by moonbots (G, 6k, wwx & bssr)

The Undesirable Son by FragranceLotion97 (G, 17k, wangxian, WIP)

For the Sake of a Smile by Reikosama7716 (not rated, 87k, wangxian, WIP) - wwx's parents are still very much alive in this. it's a crack fic tho

Divine Intervention by GossamerGlint (not rated, 114k, wangxian, WIP) - both bssr and wwx's parents are alive

Stray Dogs Seem to Follow by PorcelainBlue (G, 2k, csr/wcz & wwx) - wwx's parents + their own sect yiling wei

+1 Life (一生 Yīshēng) by SnowY14 (T, 78k, wangxian) - wwx goes back to the past and save his parents. he and his parents change things.

Cartwheels In Cloud Recesses by ShanaStoryteller (not rated, 22k, wangxian, series in progress)

wander the edges of light by cl410 (M, 6k, wangxian, WIP)

crying like a fire in the sun by cl410 (T, 10k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

12. hello first of all thank you for all your hardwork!! i've discovered a lot of great fics thanks to all your posts [I’m glad!] ~ now i'm curious if you or your followers know any modern wangxian fics that talk abt gender exploration themes? i just finished reading kilf by scarlettstorm and would like to know if there are fics that talk abt gender too ^^ thank you!!!

as thou wast wont to be by cqlorphan (E, 13k, wangxian)

i’ll be your girl by plonk (E, 38k, wangxian, my post)

❤️Magical Marriage Ribbons by starandrea (M, 505k, wangxian, my post) - not modern, though

Ice by WithBroomBefore (T, 31k, wangxian) - about Lan Zhan being trans and competing in sports

trans or nonbinary comes up a lot in WithBroomBefore’s works

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13. heya mojo!!!! I love your blog. Thank you for making it ~~ I wonder if you know of any fic that’s all about nhs’ post-canon? I would love to read about his character study. [I feel like @ibijau might know of some?]

~*~

14. I really really love the fanfics u recommend!!! Can u recommend (a) some Mdzs fanfic where wei wuixian, nie huaisang and jiang cheng are sworn brothers?? (b) Or wen qing and wen ning being blood relatives to wei wuixian?? Thank you! @jiang-xinfei

14b

The Sun Is Haunted by Monyas (G, 4k, wangxian)

❤️The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen by KouriArashi (T, 139k, wangxian, xiyao, chengqing, my post) - not blood related but raised as sibling of wen qing and wen ning

AO3 tag #wen wuxian

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15. Hi! First off absolutely love your blog and secondly do you happen to know any fics with a jealous weiying in it? Thanks!

My tag #jealous wei wuxian (6 works)

AO3 tag #jealous wei wuxian

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16. Hi! This ask is for your the next "in the mood for" post: I recently read By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller and now I'm wondering if anyone could rec other fics where lwj doesn't (almost) immediately realize that mxy is actually wwx. Like maybe he was too far away to hear the wangxian theme or something and therefore he doesn't know its Wei Ying? :)

focal, filler, and line by bosbie (T, 27k, wangxian, WIP)

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 135k, wangxian, WIP)

Where You Fell by Sweet_William (E, 222k, wangxian)

remember me when i’m reborn by RedLipped (T, 11k, wangxian)

things we’re all too young to know by someitems (T, 11k, wangxian)

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17. couldn't find it on the navigation tag page, but is there a rec list for the fics where wei wuxian is accepted by the lan clan? (not as a child. mostly as lwjs husband) preferably post-canon, but can be during his no golden core original body days 👀

your hand, i will hold it tight / your heart, i will know it always by puddingcatbeans (G, 10k, wangxian)

❤️Joy In the Midst of These Things by Glitterbombshell (T, 53k, 5 works, my post)

flame and rust by cl410 (M, 35k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Righteous at a Cost by thunderwear (G, 21k, wangxian, my post)

Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 30k, wangxian, my bookmark)

see others in #lan qiren is good tag

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18. Hi momjo! Thanks for all that you do. I really appreciate you and your blog! I'm not really sure if this has been asked before but can you help me find a fic/s with WWX going back to Gusu with LWJ and taking the punishment in his place? I've only read one and it's killing me that I cannot remember the title. Thank you so so much and keep safe always <3

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19. Any fics where wy has a boyfriend (lan zhan), etc maybe long distance, and no one believes him, like they just think he is lying

how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by Anonymous (T, 55k, wangxian, my post)

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20. I read and loved By Any Other Name (thanks for the rec!). Now I have an insatiable hunger for WangXian / Jiang Cheng love triangles. (I don’t want any actual ChengXian, but if someone’s into that, no shade) Thanks! <3

Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (G, 22k, wangxian)

For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian)

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21. Hi Momjo, thank you for running this tumblr, I have read nearly 300 wangxian fics from your recs in the past few months and can't stop coming back for more 🤭 [Wow, good on you!] for your next mood recs could you and your followers recommend your favourite fics featuring jealous teenage LWJ and one braincell WWX? Extra points for confused gay panic LWJ. Thank you all! 💕

I use a tag #thick as a brick wei wuxian which suits ;)

vinegar jug by dandelion_san (G, 8k, wangxian, WIP, my post)

❤️insecurities by bogliasco (not rated, 18k, wangxian, my post)

How Porn Can Lead to True Love by preciousbunnynoiz (M, 7k, wangxian) - one brain cell/gay panic wwx

How Wei Ying Went from Oblivious Idiot to Shameless Boyfriend in Three Days by misscam (T, 5k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

22. Can u please recommend dark lan wangji? Or dark lan Wangji leaving gusu with Wei wuixian? Fic? Or gusu being bad? Or smt like that? Thank you!!!,🥰

dark lan wangji:

The Golden Cord by miss_aphelion (E, 20k, wangxian, no happy ending)

sharpened by bitter tools by Anonymous (E, 21k, ziwangxian)

i'd give my all (for your love) by saccharinings (E, 14k, wangxian)

#Dark Lan Zhan Weekend is a collection on AO3 that I just stumbled across

AO3 provides a #dark lan wangji tag which might give you options.

Blue Panic!! by swetaer (M, 8k, wangxian, WIP)

truly a love story for the ages by sweetlolixo (E, 5k, wangxian)

the gods laugh by miss_aphelion (not rated, 14k, wangxian, WIP)

the sweet scent of their tragedy by HeavenlySkyfarer (E, 24k, wangxian) - this one doesn't have a happy ending, it does have dark lwj and bad gusu, lwj isn't abusive or anything like that though

Good Days by darkbrokenreaper (T, 9k, wangxian) - very dark

gusu is bad:

Share Your Silence by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (E, 127k, wangxian, series in progress, my post)

For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian)

Sail Away Sweet Sister by sami (M, 74k, wangxian, nieli)

The Dreams of Youth by sami (E, 32k, wangxian, WIP)

my tag #abusive lan sect

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23. Hi, I love this place and come here at least once a week looking for new fics to try. I was wondering if you knew of any good fics that have Wen Xu as a more prominent character? We see a lot of the other Wen members all over the place but I don't think I've ever read a story where Wen Xu was more than just a slightly mentioned or there and gone again figure.

Teen Project to Change the World by animeloverhomura (not rated, 409k, wangxian, WIP)

Smoke From Jade by rainyghost (T, 49k, wangxian, WIP)

these dreams, like ashes (float away) by AStarlightMonbebe (T, 161k, wangxian, xueyu, my post here) - doesn’t feature Wen Xu, but he’s an interesting character in it

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order! ***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[My ko-fi.]

#wangxian #mdzs #the untamed #wangxian fic finder #in the mood for a fic #i haven't read these unless noted #crowd-sourcing #fic finding #fic finder

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