#i'll have to hate everything.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yeslordmyking · 2 years

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I want to be a crazy fashionista fangirl again 💔

#not that i'm like not anymore. i just feel guilty for enjoying worldly things so i stopped watching tv and listening to music #it's been months. it's torture. i want to watch lightyear and thor and listen to harry's latest album and be an ahgase again and-#but i'm satisfied by things other than God. i'm unholy. so i can't enjoy life anymore #just bible study and praise and prayer and service and holy suffering #i can't believe i'm sitting here not knowing what wonho's facade album sounds like and i won't ever get to watch jackson's cruel mv cuz 😈#i know the song is about »fighting« your demons and i think he wins but Jackson baby boo imma christian i can't be seen streaming that mv😅#it looks risky y'know. i know you've been through some dark times tho. that's the story you're telling #just don't know if God will be pleased with my support of it because i'm second guessing everything 🙄#like i didn't see multiverse because... and it kinda kills me cuz i think that's a pivotal film for following the mcu story #will i ever watch mcu and disney films again? will i listen to music again? will i like clothes without being attacked by anxiety?#all these things of the world. is it ok with God to care about them and enjoy them? everything feels evil now. and most things are 🤷🏽‍♀️#forgive me Lord for the people i love and the things i enjoy. i didn't guard my heart i suppose. i know i can't avoid absolutely everything #but how will i ever enjoy life if i psychoanalyze and scrutinize everything for unholiness? i'll find bad in everything and everyone #i'll have to hate everything....#i'm so tired.... i can't do this... Lord why am i on this earth only to have to hate everything my heart wants?#and to reduce the people i care about to wicked sinners i mustn't support anymore?#what.... what do i do???

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aroaceleovaldez · 6 months

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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

#pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus #but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it #and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book #Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE #though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for

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tapeworrmart · 13 days

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Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time.

#The outsider by A Perfect Circle was made for him. In my mind #Anyway it's 4am and I HATE everything I draw. Wanna draw sm for him but I can't #So have this #Maybe I'll draw more my oc tomorrow #Postal 1997 #Postal #Postal game #Postal dude #The postal dude #Postal guy #Postal 1 #P1 dude #fan art #art #sketch #character art #Scars #Cuts #Oh and yes he's in a NIN shirt. The downward spiral. Because yknow...

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melanchoise · 1 year

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more stress drawing! but here is tged again :) small comic

#javier: a german suplex solves everything #tged #the greatest estate developer #the greatest estate designer #greatest estate developer #lloyd frontera #javier asrahan #on second thought a lil ooc but im having fun sooo anyway #lowkey ship art so i'll tag it as such #interpret it however you like tho #llojavi #ok radio silence now #i hate revision actually

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emilyartstudio-s · 1 year

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Style (Stan x Kyle) please?

Here's a doodle I will finish for patreon :,)

#asks #style always everyday #sorry guys i might restrict what i post here because i hate it when my art ends up on pintrest JFSHK #there's a tumblr official on there and it posts my art automatically? And it's annoying???#I'm there to search for poses and new artists #but it's so discouraging seeing it there and then the comments are all dinks lmao #it sucks because i like posting any and all south park art here like ships but omGod dude #people want to be weird about everything ugh im just here to have funnn #rant over i just have been overthinking about it but i'll be okay and just accept it eventually lmao #((Restrict as in I'll just keep doing fun art that makes me haha #I'm just waitin gfor the south park specials but I want to draw out the oc art i have in my sketchbook lmao #maybe make a speedpaint HDKSJ

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topaziraphale · 7 months

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"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,

The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"

Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.

What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.

#derpy speaks #good omens #good omens 2 #no i dont think crowley is gonna ever hate aziraphale for what happened but he's allowed to be angry #he's allowed to be done with it all. he's allowed to be exhausted. just look at his face when he drives away.#meh. idk. but i dont know how i'll feel if crowley just INSTANTLY accepts aziraphale back in a situation involving #idk - ''hey help me stop the new apocalypse''#at least. without like. SOME pushback? it can even be something small like ''are you SURE you want ME to help you? do you really need me?''#doesnt have to be a straight refusal but i'd like SOME kind of action to show that crowley is putting his foot down for once #he deserves that self respect #do NOT reply saying that im insinuating that aziraphale is actively malicious or doing it on purpose.#everything he has done up until now is his own complicated response to all the trauma and guilt he's been through #but despite that crowley is STILL allowed to be upset... it's messy. i can write a whole paper about how this whole thing #is just unfortunate on both ends. again. we didnt get queerbaited we got communication baited 😭#but help me out here. am i just too fandom-brained to have these expectations from the story?#is there something obvious im missing that is making me sound like a complete asshole here? do i need to get my head out of the gutter?#someone please explain it to me if so because whatever it is‚ i can't find it #not queued

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cryptiduni · 10 months

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“white mourning.”

#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice #judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry #he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as #he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco #you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen #his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but #jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control #i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late #my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon #disco elysium #de fanart #jean vicquemare #disco elysium fanart #jean heron vicquemare #jean posting #illustration #de #artists on tumblr #my art #I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings #my little maiu maiu

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tubbytarchia · 3 months

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I saw your Rendoc awhile back and ATE it and now I'm eating the Doc and Jimmy content too I LOVE the dynamic you've thought up for them!!! And I'm very (im)patiently waiting for more (don't take it as pressure please take it as a compliment <3)

THANK YOU THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY YAY THE PROPAGANDA!!! THE PROPAGANDA IS WORKING!!! I'm just as (im)patient as you to finish all my Doc/Jimmy sketches but... yuri week... I have to attend yuri week this monday,.. I'm sorry I have not much to offer rn but you did also mention Rendoc so I hope a wip of that can help suffice...<3

#blabber #no pressure taken ofc!!!! THANK YOU!!#If you guys keep being so supportive and nice at this rate I'll leak everything before I can even start lining it #Ive gone from absolutely hating posting WIPs to posting too many #I have soo many ideas wahhhh so much stuff to draw wahhhh not enough finished art to post wahh...

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townslore · 9 months

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watching the miraculous movie has done irreversible damage to my brain. hands you miraculous shuake au.

#i said it before and i'll say it again. i never liked aus until these 2 came around. i really do not know how or why it happened #i see them in everyone and everything #persona 5 #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #squeak squeak #idk why i drew that weird pose for goro i wanted to show off his cape but then i realized i'd have to draw his like. backside #and im not good at that. oof.#i like the akira drawing so much more Oh well #they cant all be winners #anyway the movie. i really liked it.#i watched the show often in the past and loved it but then all the weird shit happened and like #i still liked watching it even then but then my brain switched #and i couldn't fucking STAND it anymore #i genuinely hated seeing anything about it. filled me with rage. but this movie? did not.#might have to do with the fact that astruc or whatever his name is didnt influence it as far as i know #goro akechi #akira kusuru #shuake #idk if everyone can read my handwriting i wanted to actually have like the. au details on the drawings #and i dont like writing so much on my tablet.... gets a jumbled mess after a while

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lenaellsi · 9 months

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Why does aziraphale tells crowley he forgives him??? I literally just finished it and its driving me insane

hello anon! hope you're doing okay after that ending!

that's a hell of a question. there are a few different answers, and i think a lot was going on in aziraphale's head at that particular moment, but this is what I took from it:

-this is a dance aziraphale and crowley have been doing for a long time.

there's some sort of moral conflict. aziraphale repeats heaven's party line. crowley asks a bunch of uncomfortable questions. aziraphale doubles down. crowley calls him an idiot. aziraphale forgives him. crowley storms away. pretty much half of their relationship is built on these kinds of destructive patterns at this point--of course they'd fall back into it during the worst fight they've ever had.

-aziraphale is angry.

he's heartbroken, and he doesn't understand why crowley has decided to abandon him in what should be (from his perspective) the happiest moment of their lives since the fall. he's lashing out, and intentionally hurting crowley in the same way he's been hurt. he's not stupid, no matter how much miscommunication is happening in this scene--telling someone "i forgive you" after they've kissed you is going to hurt, and he knows that.

this reading comes mostly from michael's performance. several people have noted that in the moments immediately after the kiss, aziraphale says "I l--" and then cuts himself off. then he goes on a Michael Sheen Face Journey TM and ends up angry, and that's when we get "I forgive you." whatever else is going on with aziraphale in this moment, he's pissed.

-forgiveness is what aziraphale does.

in aziraphale's very first (modern day) scene of the season, we learn that forgiveness is "one of his favorite things." he forgives maggie's rent, and he forgives gabriel enough to shelter him from heaven and hell while he's vulnerable. it's an instinct for aziraphale, for better or worse, whether it's because it's something he thinks he SHOULD do or something intrinsic to him as a person who desperately wants to do good. occasionally, it's even something he does for his own gain. (see: forgiving maggie was a kind action, but he himself admits that part of his motivation was that she always knows how to find his music.) it makes sense that he would fall back on forgiveness as a framework for understanding a mess of complicated and painful emotions. it makes him feel better, forgiving people, and he needs the comfort of that here.

-he means it.

he forgives crowley for saying no. he forgives crowley for breaking his heart. he forgives crowley for always asking 'damn fool' questions. he forgives crowley for kissing him at the worst possible time. he forgives crowley for falling. he forgives crowley for making him doubt. he forgives crowley for being kind, and clever, and ridiculous, and special, and someone he couldn't help but fall in love with, no matter how much it hurts them both.

and unfortunately, forgiveness is the one thing that will always make crowley walk away.

#gos2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #for what it's worth? crowley also meant to hurt aziraphale. that kiss was 40% hail mary temptation 10% a gesture of love and 50% 'fuck you'#and i love it like YES kiss him to hurt him YES tell him the worst thing he could possibly hear and then in 3 years save the world together #with the weight of everything said and unsaid between you!!! drama!!! i hate it here!!! (but i love it)#i hope any of this made sense. i have a lot of feelings about this moment and very few coherent thoughts #and i'll be the first to admit that i find it much easier to get into crowley's head than aziraphale's. i do love him though #asks

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andraedevane · 1 month

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Love how some villains say to the hero "I want to destroy/kill you" (or at least think about hurting the hero) and then when they are redeemed they say (or think) "If anyone dared to hurt you, I will destroy/kill them"

#Strickler and Jim anyone?#Strickler didn't said those words #but his actions still count #and you can't tell me he wouldn't destroy anyone who dared to hurt Jim #please the way he looks at Merlin in a house divided says it all #Anakin Skywalker too #i mean if he had survived in retun of the jedi bet he would have destroyed anyone who hurt Luke #toa trollhunters #walter strickler #jim lake jr #star wars #anakin skywalker #luke skywalker #talking obviously about canon #because there are a lot of fics where the villains turn from “i hate you” to “i'll protect you from everything that might hurt you”

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sae-mian · 2 months

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are you ever struck by the temptation to just. slink into anonymous mode and ask people questions about their OCs?

cus i am. constantly.

#not ffxiv #rambling.#people have such interesting characters and i always want to know MORE but #always afraid i'll somehow suddenly forget how to use Words and ruin everything and be hated #so. anon mode is my friend ;;;;

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cirooka · 3 months

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i've been following vivzie for agesss but it took until the huskerdust win in episode 4 for me to finally make a sideblog so yeah expect a lot more of these losers on here while i figure out how to draw them<3 click for quality coz tumblr hates me

#i have so many doodles of them this was just the very first but they're so much fun to draw 😭#i'll post the rest once i've cleaned them up but everything is on one single sketch layer (this included) coz i hate myself #hazbin hotel #hellaverse #husk hazbin hotel #huskerdust #huskerdust fanart #angel dust #angel dust x husk #husk x angel dust #fanart #fan art #drawing

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explodingstarlight · 1 year

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The need to quantitate has put center stage // Regret, remorse, regard // Crazed and calm with a sinner's psalm /lyr

(alt versions under the line)

i'm indecisive so these exist too <3

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stafsar · 1 year

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L. Lawliet is a gifted photographer who believes he has understood the light and its secrets. Light Yagami is a young, unstable and slightly crooked model. Together, they kill time.

I had a bookcover design assignment so obviously I chose @devilinthebox's literary masterpiece of a fanfic Our Bodies, Possessed by Light

#I actually hate this already but its mostly because nothing I could ever draw couldnt even begin to describe the beauty of this fic #The way this fic is EVERYTHING to me #It literally tore me to pieces split in my face made me cry then cradled me and gave me a forehead kiss then threw me into cold water #over and over again #I could talk about it for hours #I love every single character so so much #my favorite portrayal of naomi EVER #also the fact that Beyond is turkish and speaks of his turkish mother missing İstanbul so dearly #literally made me cry #I love him so much #sorry Beyond is canonically turkish now and its my whole personality #anyway maybe I'll ramble more about how much I love this fic on another post sometime later #the photos on the wall are mostly my old art #I thought about doing an A portrait but I have no idea what she looks like #anyway yea #my art #lawlight #l lawliet #light yagami #our bodies possessed by light #obpl #lawlight fic #lawlight fanart

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sivvan · 7 months

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whipped | /wipt/ adjective

kim do ha

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