#i'm alive i never died

[crusaderce]

r w ar i l i v e

#somehow my ass found icons ??? #like yeah maybe like seven different kinds all in which different styles but he ey #i somehow still fucking have them?? #i'm alive i never died #i simply graduated collage : D #will i actually rp anymore?? idk #hit or miss #HOLY SHIT WHAT HAS TUMBLR BEEN UPDATING?? #I BASICALLY FORGOT HOW TO HTLM OR WHATEVER #e e w wwww TT-TT #edit watch me try to find shi's blog now

[wykart]

The elder men spoke low. They took a vote and said no. They turned around real slow. Where did they go? Where did they go? And the question oh, the question: can the kid keep his eyes, if the fire doesn't die? They said no.

They Took a Vote and Said No - Sunset Rubdown

#i do this instead of like. making an animatic lmao. this song is so good. the breakdown!! auughhh #doctor who #dw #thirteenth doctor #the timeless child #fanart #digital art #my art #comic #cause the fire never dies so the kid lost his eyes oh that's how it goes :( #the lyrics on spotify are wrong rip #im embracing cringe and choosing life #you can see how this started very simple and then I started putting Effort in rip #so OTHER things can stay alive you say.. much to think about #never getting over this one boys. I'm still deep in the trenches #weeping angels division agents mouri age of shadows something something tardis great house loom. you're welcome #I think this song is about soldiers going to war to prop up empires or something??? which is also fitting

[tricoufamily]

ilya's parents + ilya at different life stages

#nooo haha don't idolize your dead abusive father and constantly rationalize the things he did to you #his mom left them in the middle of the night and he woke up on his 7th birthday and she was gone #he was never close to her and he was always lashing out. he gutted a squirrel and put it on her pillow and that was it #she decided then he was a lost cause going to grow up to be his father and she wasn't going to take him with her :( #he still doesn't know where she is or if she's even alive. he really really hates her #look i know i'm covering her face but you get it right. it can stay unsaid? we can just acknowledge whats going on and where it's going? ok #eeesh. but yeah his dad died when ilya was 21 (he's 24) he was still living at home and now it's his house. he got his motorcycle too #ts4 #ts4 cas #the sims 4 #ilya #two-headed lamb

[phoenixcatch7]

Why can't we have a batman is the spirit of Gotham au?

He already is, in meta, in character, in theming. Him and the joker. He is so very built upon what Gotham is made of, and Gotham builds from what he needs in turn, the setting of his story.

What if that is the reason he can take damage that would permanently ruin a physical career and come back? What if that's how he's managed to maintain his no-kill streak to such an extent? What if that's how he manages to maintain such high maintenance and all consuming identities?

For the heart and soul of a city containing all extremes, the richest nobility and the lowest of the poor, the cruellest villains and the most compassionate heroes, orphaned children and ancient lineages, a city rooted in fear and madness and grit-teeth determination and hard won kindness, what better choice could you find than Bruce Wayne?

But what if he wasn't alone in that? What if Gotham has sunk to such a low because its spirit is damaged and corrupted?

For the heart and soul of the cruellest city in the dc universe, the most unrelenting and uncaring, the one that practically laughs at your pain and suffering as you try to make it through another day, what better choice than the Joker?

#Batman v joker is yin yang up down left right it's the oroborus #Like it's possibly one of the most famous arch enemies of modern day lmao #Something something what if there was an actual reason b couldn't kill joker?? Like if joker died it'd kill him too. #Unbalance the incredibly fragile equilibrium b has spent decades fighting for #Like those threatre masks. Love theatre mask symbolism. But the batman is the smiling one and the joker is the frowning one #Its apathy vs compassion. Someone made a really good post about it a while ago but I can't find it ToT #But yeah imagine if b found out about the whole city spirit thing and freaked out it until he found out it was him. #Like full on possessive trawls through research and 'no I'm fine' to everyone watching and lying awake fuming and then it's all fine #Except now he can have an existential crisis because he never realised lmao. Idk maybe the waynes were infertile and he was a surprise baby #Maybe there's no hint he wasn't entirely human until he had the option opened to him. #Like he just thought all his weirdnesses were just from one of the various things he never got official diagnoses for #Which he still is! Some things were just supernatural lol #The kids are laughing at him but they've got the Gotham spirit of the protection which is how they're all (mostly) still alive lmao #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Cryptid batman #Gotham spirit au #Fic idea #Story idea #Batfam #Batfamily #Dc comics #Gotham #Dc city spirits

[starsandthorn]

feel like i need a corkboard and red string to make sense of the narzissenkreuz stuff

#personal stuff #thorn plays genshin #it's not too confusing it's just. a lot. and in bits and pieces #but yeah. the artifact set. the order of skeptics questline and both of the big world quest questlines in fontaine. #also head in my hands. elynas. i have nothing to add but like aughu. auuuuuguuh. dead sentient dragons. #elynas. durin. does orobashi count. #going bonkers i love how someone said ''since apep pretty much said the natlan line we'll probably get dragon lore there'' #and i went yeah that make sense. #then boom fontaine. hydro dragon. elynas. dragon lore. what the fuck #presuming. elynas is a dragon of course but what else could it be #but i was right about the melusines being born from its body!! #but........not like apep i don't think. they weren't alive before elynas died #REALLY cool questline btw and i'm not just saying that because i love the melusines [lying] #but i wasn't expecting it to meet up with the other world quest #so when she was like ''mister jakob--'' i literally fucking gasped aloud. #getting to take both of the companions back to the narzissenkreuz ordo was really cool though. i liked that #everyone say thank you to that random guy who tried to scam us and leave us for dead at the bottom of the ocean!! #never would have been able to unlock this loredump without you <33333

[annemarieyeretzian]

imogen saying “I know we’re supposed to save the gods, but I’ve tried talking to them my whole life and none of them will ever respond. …I don’t know if I want to save gods that don’t love me.” aaand now I’m crying

#'I don't know if I want to save gods that don't love me' #when my mentor had a stroke #and I say mentor but he was my second father #but he was my first father #because mine has almost never tried #I remember running #crying and cursing god (I was raised religious) the whole time #when my mentor died #I fell into such a deep depression my parents had to pull me out of school #I went to therapy #and at one point my therapist asked me something like #why I was so angry or having such a hard time with what had happened #and I shouted at her #'IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME WHO DIED' #there is no god #certainly no loving god #if good people can die so suddenly #and I'm still alive #anyway #this hit me hard #annemarie watches critical role #critical role #imogen temult #imogen #bell's hells #to hurt is to heal #c3e79

[socialbunny]

👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽some of my skipy lore in the tags i was supposed to bridge it with something else but i forgot what i wanted to say 😭

#i feel like i always show skip as like. a loser.....which he is #and a cheater. hes that too. #and a shit person in general. i dont show that one but he is #he tries to do right by other ppl but he'll always put his feelings first. self centered mf #he got married before he turned 20 he was NOT ready for that shit 😭 #literally got married to brandi out of guilt bc he fucked up her life n shit too kinda. even tho she wanted a family she lost a lot of #other shit too #skip experiences a slight hurdle in his life and hes like ''i have to have an affair/fuck/fun away'' #man that had high hopes for himself and his future gets frustrated by the consequences of his impulsive actions. more at 11 #he thought he'd have a slightly better life than the rest of his family. but then his parents died and he got a girl he'd been dating for #less than a year pregnant and he was like. fuckkk it #started doing some foul ass shit to the ppl around him when he realized there was no getting back up to where he wanted to be #everything culminating into him running away from his family and responsibilities and changing his name #idk i never talk abt my skip broke is alive headcanon anymore 😭 mostly bc i'm not writing my story anyways so it's stagnant yk #hes stuck in limbo while i decide his fate based on what i want to post 😭 #IDK WHY I WROTE ALL THIS IN THE TAGS IM PISSED. oh well #hidden skip lore if u read this u get one pass to leave ur wife and kids go fuck sexy bitches in belladonna cove

[kaczynskis-ass-kisser]

“The love was there. It didn't change anything. It didn’t save anyone. There were just too many forces against it. But it still matters that the love was there.”

"Turn my eyes, I see you stare 'Cross the room and right at me Now you're smiling like you've got Like you've got something on your mind"

― Mehro, "chance with you"

and

"When you think no one's watching I'm watching only you When you feel no one's listening I hear through the noise to hear you"

― Shannon Saunders, "Atlas"

and

"Feeling the way you breath down my side I'll never escape you, I can never try Seeing the way you look in my eyes I'm lost in illusion, my world set aside"

― The Irrepressibles, "To Be"

and

"I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care

But it's so cold and I don't know where"

― Tom Odell, "Another Love"

and

“You're trying not to tell him you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you've discovered something you don't even have a name for.” ― Richard Siken, Crush

and

“Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.

These, our bodies, possessed by light.

Tell me we'll never get used to it.”

― Richard Siken, Crush

and

“We can't hold hands― Someone might see. Won't you please Hold toes with me?” ― Shel Silverstein, Every Thing on It

and

"Does it seem too hard? Does it seem alright To keep in touch?"

― Mehro, "hideous"

and

"How was the world before the big melt happened? How was the sun when it could touch your skin? How was it all before the city died?"

― Black Casino and the Ghost, "How Was the World"

and

"Can't you look at me? Am I that hideous to you? Can't you talk to me? Do I really mean nothing to you?"

― Mehro, "hideous"

and

"So this is the subterranean life. If it can't be conjugated onto us, what good is it?" ― John Ashbery, A Wave

and

“Sorry about that. Sorry about the bony elbows, sorry we lived here, sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud. Especially that, but I should have known."

― Richard Siken, Crush

and

“With this bullet lodged in my chest, covered with your name, I will turn myself into a gun, because it’s all I have, because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own. I’ll be your slaughterhouse, your killing floor, your morgue and final resting, walking around with this bullet inside me ‘cause I couldn’t make you love me and I’m tired of pulling your teeth.” ― Richard Siken, Crush

and

“If you love me, Henry, you don’t love me in a way I understand.” ― Richard Siken, Crush

and

"How we got there, how we flew up Heaven's doors are miles away 'Cause you're stuck to the ground You have to stay"

― Panchiko, "Laputa"

and

“There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.” ― Shel Silverstein, Every Thing on It

#gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #Roachposting #long text post #poems and quotes #Sorry guys I'm a firm believer in “Don't ask don't tell” 09 Roast. They loved eachother and they died with the idea they didn't. #The confession came too late. One was already dead. He'd had never heard it over the flames if he were alive. #Very messy post but I feel like it's understandable

[fooltofancy]

thinking abt that guard dog post and how long it would have taken the scions to recognize that they're taking advantage of a deeply ingrained trauma response

#i was gonna make this post two hours ago but then i got distracted and then i got distracted from the thing that was distracting me #i don't think y'shtola ever feels especially guilty for it btw #she and ilya are Not alike EXCEPT in pragmatism. and then it's a 1:1 comparison lmao #ilya sees himself as a tool for so long because he is deeply pragmatic #and if y'shtola is anything it's willing to use the tools at hand. #on the other end of the spectrum alisaie comes in swinging #'have u considered enabling him in this frankly unhealthy behavior is gonna get him killed' #scions: *crickets* #it has to be after shb that anyone BUT alisaie actually like. acknowledges the issue right #u know minfilia saw it u KNOW. she sees it from go #but then she dies lmao #i'm just. real fucked up about the scions again. and my stupid idiot son (heart too big never learned how to use it) #when these folk keep dying to keep you alive for some cosmic fucking purpose completely beyond you what else are you supposed to do? #bark a lot. i guess. and then die. #alisaie: anyway i'm taking him for walkies while u all think about what you've done #baby mode blogging #need a baby mode lore tag

[vvanessaives]

what if violante talked gale out of the whole ascension to godhood thing. and what if she died at the end of it all. and what if gale, crushed by the insurmountable grief, decided to use the crown. and what if he brought her back from the lands of deads. and what if violante is insanely angered with him for that but also fond of that feeling that brought him to defile the laws of nature. and what if she's forever bound to him now, and she hates him but she loves him and it's going to be eternal

#rena.txt #like it's no necromancy but it is. like it's the higher step. i mean he doesn't want a zombie he wants her back as she was it's not enough #he needs more power and he can't accept that she's leaving him behind. it's like a part of me died with you but we're also alive but we wil #never be the same #like violante has been s*icidal for her whole life i think. especially in the last years. before gettig snatched by mindflayers she was #ready to tear herself apart but death got whisked away from her hands again. and when it actually happens? and finally she can find the #rest she wanted oh so badly it gets taken away from her again for his selfishness. like. the layers bro..perhaps.......... #AND IMAGINE his resentment when he gets called 'selfish'. like. i did all of this for you and you call me selfish? the hatred the betrayal #the horror and the love. and in the end it doesn't matter he thinks. it will pass she will see reason. they have eternity for forgiveness. #idk if i'm making any sense today i have so many thoughts #AND LIKE. it's not real life anyway. she's a walking corpse. smth IS wrong with her. and this second life is nothing but pain. she doesn't #eat bc she doesn't need it and everything tastes rotten anyway and she's cold. perpetually cold and she can feel it and there's not even a #beating heart in her chest..THE HORRORS........... #the god won't let me die / i'm god matching couple shirt they could get....AKFJSLFJSFKSK

[limerental]

thinking of an elderly retired professor robin buckley who moves home and gets a part time job at the hawkins public library and her partner in crime comes along as well, of course, though he's long-retired and has no interest in actual working in a library. he's always just around.

everyone in town's sure they're an old married couple both because they bicker like they are (usually the arguments end when steve pointedly turns off his hearing aids or robin threatens his kneecaps with her cane) and because they are (married in Vegas in '91).

they live in an old house in town and foster cats the way they used to foster kids when they were younger (half the cats are foster fails and they still have contact with most of their foster kids scattered across the country). the house is tastefully kitsch and full of old books. holidays are loud and chaotic gatherings of old friends and their extended families.

they each have had partners here and there throughout the years but nothing lasted or got serious enough to consider divorce. robin's varying university resesrch jobs took them all over the world and of course, Steve followed.

(The year is 2040. Steve doesn't keep up with world news or politics, saying he's retired from that too. Robin jokes that if he was ever in an accident and the paramedics asked him who the current president was, they'd assume he had brain damage.

"But I do have brain damage," he always says, and in polite company, Robin just pats his arm and smiles indulgently.

Otherwise, she says, "oh, don't we know it.")

Robin's diagnosis was the first secret she had kept from Steve in years and years. Unbeknownst to her, it was the first that he kept as well. He knew all along the real reason she had decided to retire and come home.

They lived a quiet and simple life, intending on seeing through their golden years together without incident.

But this was Hawkins.

Neither realized that their quaint suburban neighborhood had been built over the bulldozed remains of a familiar trailer park.

#anyway #allowing myself to post messy drafts of fic ideas because that seems like the vibe in this fandom #anyway!!! #i so dearly want and need to write platonic stobin old farts #and there'd be old retired and tired guy steve and ghost of eddie who died just so young #this kind of love where steve never really knew eddie when he was alive but he thought about his loss his whole life #so seeing him in that house just the way he had looked decades ago #and steve feeling like he wasted his whole life trying to figure it all out and now #anyway i'm not writing another steddie fic #but clearly this ends with steve passing first in his sleep even though they all thought it would be robin

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

I have to put fresh sheets on my bed and make it but I've just been sitting on my bare mattress for the last 20 mins ranting to myself about this damn show

#again rewatching this with a developed adult brain is CRAZY #and I'm catching so many things I didn't notice before #and it's making everything feel even more !!! than the first time I watched the show #like!!!!like!!! somehow I never caught onto how such a strong part of flint's grief comes from the fact that he didn't try and rescue Thomas #and how his actions led to all of this happening in the first place #he could have sided against Thomas with his father. and they never would've had any of the mess that came with angering Dad #but that just wasn't possible to him anymore #because of what he felt for Thomas he had to defend his ideals. the ones they shared #and after all that. KNOWING that HE was partly responsible for what happened to Thomas!! just how painful it is that he walked away. #and fled to Nassau. and didn't do anything to try and help Thomas #like!!! the GUILT that must cause!!! the ANGUISH!!! no WONDER he's Like That Jesus Christ #and like!!! oh my GOD Toby Stephen's acting is outstanding in this #the way you could feel the palpable shift right after flint hugs Miranda. while Ashe is telling them how he can wisk them away to someplace #else in Europe. and james steps back!! you could see it in his EYES that that is the moment when Captain Flint starts to form #and you can hear it in his voice. the barely perceptible shift. that he reached his breaking point #also I completely forgot about the surprise Vane attack at the end of that episode and I nearly screamed #black sails #ALSO!!!!!! going through all of this with the knowledge that Miranda dies T^T and that Thomas is actually alive and they get reunited #is tearing my soul apart I think #these sheets may not be going on my bed tonight.....

[flufflecat]

Really not feelin it this week. Tag rant incoming

#it's just been a slew of horrible things this week and idk how to handle any of it #we had to take my childhood cat to the vet on Monday bc she's very sick and very skinny #and we thought we'd have to put her down #I'm so thankful bc she still has a bit of time and really all I want is for her to be comfortable again before she dies #but shes in such bad shape #and I hate seeing her like that. I found her when she was just a few weeks old #and now she's 15 and she just got old out of nowhere #and I'm not gonna be able to see her anymore soon #I'm going to a funeral Saturday for one of my aunts #I wasn't close to her since I was a kid but my family more or less abandoned her #and now she's dead and I never went to see her when she was alone #and today my other aunt died. and I was close to her. #I haven't seen her in years either though bc of more family drama. #and I never visited her either. idek if she was alone or if she had people. #I should have visited her when we found out she was sick but I just didn't #idk what to do. it's all just piling up #I feel worse rn than I have in years #and more bad things just keep happening #I was excited this week bc I got some work done on my college application #but now my motivation is just gone #I just wanna sleep and wake up and find out that my aunt is actually alive and someone just got it wrong somehow #but I can't fall asleep and that won't happen so waking up won't even be worth that #I would call off work tomorrow but I don't wanna be alone and my coworkers are the only people I know in town #at least they're all nice people #this all sucks so fucking bad #personal #negative

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

Garak in "Second Skin": I will NEVER sacrifice myself for you people I will ALWAYS selfishly save my own life that is a PROMISE

Garak in "The Search, Part II", three episodes earlier: [sacrifices himself for these people even when he could have selfishly saved his own life]

#WHEN GHEMOR OMINOUSLY WARNS KIRA AT THE END THAT GARAK WILL BETRAY THEM LIKE AS IF HE'S BEEN TRYING TO DECEPTIVELY ACT TRUSTWORTHY??? #sir please. this man's whole Thing is to go around like ''ohoho I sure hope nobody notices my evil and dastardly deeds!!! #oh my super evil schemes only ended up benefitting the good guys after all? what an astounding turn of events!! oh my!!'' #Star Trek: Deep Space 9 #for context I've only seen up to Second Skin so far and I'm sure soon I'll finally get to an episode where Garak does Evil Demon Crimes #and then I'll look like a complete idiot for making this post. but so be it. I asked myself WWJSBD (What Would Julian Subatoi Bashir Do?) #and the answer was love and trust and have hope despite all the odds until absolutely forced to do otherwise <3 #Starky's Original Posts #although you know what maybe he just said that because Julian wasn't along this time lmao #''Is my dear doctor going on this mission perchance? No? Ohhh ok this time's different then. Fuck all the rest of you :)'' #''[remembers Julian's strange human trait of being sad when people he knows die] AGHHH FUCK. OK. CHANGED MY MIND STAY ALIVE PLS'' #the search part 2 is so fucked. btw. literally he died in Julian's arms. tv show written by SICKOS and PERVERTS and BASTARDS #anyways Garak was never going to kill Natima & Co. in Profit And Loss btw. change my mind. #OK I'M DONE

[idolpyre]

⠀ ⠀★⠀ THE FIRST MINI ALBUM · GLITCHTOPIA · NA MINJUN :

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀a play on the words glitch and utopia, glitchtopia is the debut studio album from NO SPIN's leader na minjun, showcasing himself in the sole spotlight with not only his rapping abilities, but his raw vocals as well. minjun is no stranger to releasing music and has released multiple works in the past for the fans, but glitchtopia marks the rapper's first official release. the album released on july 20th at 6pm kst, followed by the music video for the title track VIRTUAL INSANITY, showcasing minjun in a vibrant, futuristic neon city — perfectly matching the addictive, flashy hip-hop vibes off of the entire album. ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀the album consists of seven tracks, all dripping in minjun's iconic style and flow that only the no spin rapper has managed to pull off. unabashedly being himself for this album in not only his sound, glitchtopia addresses the pressures of not only fame but also love, and lack thereof it, how it feels to be lost despite having everything, and themes of losing your confidence.

⠀ ⠀★⠀ ALBUM INCLUSIONS BELOW · 1 OF 3 RANDOM PHOTOCARDS · 1 OF 2 RANDOM POLAROIDS · 1 POSTER

#* / 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 — analysis #* / 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 — dossier #HII I'M SO HAPPY WITH THIS ACTUALLY !!!! #this album is so fun and noisy and like !!! it's so minjun !!! #if u click on the link it'll take you to the album and you can listen <: #i love na minjun SO MUCH.... #in canon this is probably a posthumous album.... the album minjun never got to finish before his untimely death #everything was basically ready to go and then yeah.... he Died #but it's okay <3 na minjun is alive and he's sexy

[bi-the-wei]

I am slowly but surely still working on this redraw. Lol. SO many flowers. X_X I've been a bit stressed lately. Just residual stuff from grief and complicated emotions from the beginning of this year kinda hitting its second wind. Also my clipstudio decided randomly to undo ALL of the organization I spent like 2 hours doing to my brushes and I got mad so I haven't drawn much at home. And my work has been busy because it's the end of the fiscal year so I haven't had enough time there to draw much of anything other than my ghosties (that I'm posting on @boos-day). BUT the end of the fiscal is done and I'm slowly getting back to.. mmm well as close to normal as I'm gonna get for a while yet (healing is a process yo!) so I'm gonna try to draw some more again soon. <3

ANYWAY yeah. Here's a WIP that I'm

#mo dao zu shi #mdzs #wei ying #wei wuxian #wip #art with effort #just like... this year #My grandma who lived with me my entire life and helped raise me and my brother died the day after christmas #then my mom had a major stroke that was complicated by both covid and pneumonia a couple weeks later #She is still alive but she will never walk again and probably won't regain use of her right arm #she is slowly learning to talk again though so that's good #but she'll never go home #and then a month after that my grandpa died. #And so very randomly this year all the stress of that just.... has been coming back. #I'm getting better but like #it's a lot #Sorry for the sob story in the tags #but I still like.... need to talk about it sometimes. #;w;