#i'm gonna draw it again and try to do better on the colours again lets hope i don't hate it again

[vhstown]

henna hearts

— pavitr prabhakar x gn!reader

summary: You never realised how long mehndi would take to do. Pavitr's got all the time in the world for you, though.

content/warnings: fluff, slight hurt/comfort, ambiguous relationship, briefly edited, henna/mehndi maybe used interchangeably

word count: 1.1k

a/n: he's not Real guys he's not (mitski starts playing)

“You're tickling me…!”

“Just how am I tickling you?”

Though you held your laugh behind pursed lips, a snort escaped from the boy in front of you — the boy who was so desperately trying to finish your mehndi before it got too dark for you to go home.

“Pavi, seriously, we're not gonna finish if you keep doing that.” You tried to frown, but your face was stuck in the ache of a grin. He probably felt the same.

“I'm just trying to keep your arm straight!”

“It is straight!”

“It won't be when I have to do the other side.” You gave him a dubious look, and he seemed to mirror it.

“You're doing my whole arm?”

“I wanted to, but…”

“But what?”

Pavitr's gave you one of those unreadable smiles which you could never tell were teasing or not, looking at you through the dark tousled curls that shrouded his face. Without much thought, you reached out carefully, brushing away his hair with the very tips of your fingers.

His irises caught the colour of the decorative lights around his room, and the way his expression softened made it seem like he was looking at you with all the tenderness in the world. It was hard to look away, and you felt your heart squeeze with embarrassment as a quiet laugh escaped his lips.

“But what…?” you asked again, hoping your voice didn’t sound weird.

“You’ll probably have to stay if I do.”

“Ah…” You nodded, as if it’d hide your disappointment. “Well, you know I can't, so…”

“I know.” He gently lifted your hand again to straighten it out, the tip of the tube grazing your skin with a coolness as faint as an exhale. As he worked on a flower in the middle of your forearm, you noticed his own hands were stained. Pavitr didn't seem to mind, or mention it at all, so you decided to let him focus.

There was a silence between you two, all except for the muffled clatter of pots and pans in the kitchen, where his aunt was cooking. Well, you called her auntie too; in fact, you'd never gotten so close to anyone as you did Pavitr and Maya Auntie. A part of you hoped it went both ways.

“How'd you learn to do this anyway?” Your question made him lift his head slightly. “Auntie said you’re even better than her at it.”

A quiet chuckle left him, and he finished the flower off with a small circle in the centre. “My cousins at home taught me. They always begged to practice on me anyway.”

“Really?” The image amused you: a bunch of young girls drawing all over a younger and scrawnier Pavitr’s arms ruthlessly with mehndi while he begrudgingly sat still.

“Yep, and then I started doing it for them before Diwali, birthdays… Nothing big, just simple designs.”

You looked down at your arms, decorated beautifully with intricate designs that just somehow connected together. Whenever you thought he was done, he added more flowers and swirls and patterns, and suddenly it felt like the design would be incomplete without it. He was doing it from the top of his head too; if only you could understand how. All you had to do was sit and wait, and take care not to smudge it. Maya Auntie even suggested that you should avoid doing the dishes at home, so the colour would stay longer. Fat chance, you thought, watching how quickly your arm was being embellished.

“And you call this simple?” you muttered, almost shaking your head.

“Anything’s simple when it's for you, right…?”

Suddenly, he winced, but not at you. Pavitr’s hand hesitantly moved away from the part he was just working on, and there was just the tiniest smudge running across one of the petals. Your lips pressed together out of reflex, but you quickly regretted it when you saw the flash of worry across Pavitr’s face. The brightness seemed to leave his eyes; your reaction was the real mistake.

“Wait, I'll fix it,” he said quickly, reaching to wipe it away with the corner of his shirt.

“Hey, no no no.” You moved your hand away, furrowing your brows at him. “Why ruin your shirt?”

“It would wash out,” he replied sheepishly.

“Not for a while.” Shaking your head, you tried to keep yourself calm. Why’d you have to do that? “It's okay, it's just a little smear.”

Pavitr frowned. It was only slightly, but you felt your stomach twist in guilt. All you wanted nothing more than to touch his cheek, reassure him; not without messing up his face, you couldn't. He really wanted to get it perfect.

“You could just get a tissue from the kitchen, or something,” you suggested.

“It’ll dry by then.”

“No it won't, Pavi.”

You tilted your head down at him, trying to get him to meet your eyes. His fingers tightened around your arm, but he wouldn’t look at you.

“I’ll figure it out, okay? It'll still look pretty…”

“Hey, it's fine, it does look pretty—” The words caught in your throat as he reached up with his free hand, his fingertips brushing your face.

“…What is it?” you managed to mumble out, surprised by his sudden touch. His palm moved to cup your face, hand warm. When he opened his mouth, his voice was just warm.

“Could you stay? Just a little longer — it'll be worth it, I promise.”

There were a lot of things you wanted to say to Pavitr, as he waited for your response, but “no” wasn't one of them.

“Okay.” You tried smiling, feeling his palm against the soft of your cheek. “I'll trust you. Just don't tickle me."

There was a slight light-heartedness to your words, and he mirrored your smile. His was always slightly boyish and a little crooked, but somehow managed to hold the entire world in it.

“Thank you, chellam,” he murmured, touch lingering for just a moment before he dropped his hand. You’d never heard him call you that before.

“…What did you just say?”

“Beta!”

Auntie's voice rang out from the kitchen before he could answer, and you caught the playful glint return to his eyes as he turned to shout back.

“I'm almost done!” You raised an eyebrow at him as he turned to look at you again. “Huh?”

“Chellam?” you repeated, noticing the way his eyes, and his smile, widened when you said it.

“En chellam,” he replied, giving your cheek a soft pinch. You couldn’t hold back your snicker this time.

With your heartbeat in your ears, and flirting now in the equation, you knew Pavitr was far from “almost done” with your menhdi. He still had the rest of your arm to do, and a little mistake to fix, but it was okay, you thought. He’d figure it out — for you.

🪀🔭🕸️

@phoenixinthefiles @qiupachups

hey 😊 i don't have anything to say ok bye

oh wait nevermind i do "en chellam" means like... "my darling" in tamil i believe but is not necessarily romantic it's just a casual term of endearment (correct me if im wrong im a coconut)

find my atsv masterlist here !!!

#pavitr prabhakar x reader #pavitr prabhakar x you #pavitr x reader #pavitr x you #spiderman india #pavitr prabhakar #atsv pavitr #atsv #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse x you #atsv x you #atsv x reader #atsv fanfic #vhstown

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

🎵 The Insulindian Miracle

BACKYARD WALL - Just an ordinary wall. Nothing to see here.

[Conceptualization - Impossible 18] Why am I looking at this wall?

+2 In the dimming light, some things become clearer. +1 You have a keen aesthetic sensibility. +2 Cindy's artistic impulses are infectious. +1 Dresscode: Pseudo-SKULL.

This is the most bonuses we can get on this check.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Impossible: Success] - Because -- you see it, finally -- this wall is *sublime*! LOOK AT IT! The shadows, the colours...

(Let the conceptual joy flow into your pupils and blossom into thoughts in your brain.)

CONCEPTUALIZATION - All the other walls on all the other houses must make a pilgrimage in adoration of this, the uncontested pinnacle of wall-craft. Colour peeled from the very face of god.

More!

CONCEPTUALIZATION - O WALLFATHER!

+1 Morale

"Kim! I *must* paint this wall, add even MORE beauty to it."

No. There is nothing to add to perfection. (Back off.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Huh?"

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - He sounds tired of it all.

CONCEPTUALIZATION - You already have the heavy fuel oil to use as paint -- it's red! -- and Cindy the SKULL has a paintbrush. This is on.

"First, I know you're tired, Kim, but take another look at this wall. Draw *nourishment* from its beauty."

"I already have the paint. Just need to get a paintbrush from Cindy the SKULL."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Mhm, sure." The lieutenant looks up at the wall reluctantly, then back at you.

"I already have the paint. Just need to get a paintbrush from Cindy the SKULL."

KIM KITSURAGI - He sighs, then adds in a resigned tone: "If you must."

New task: Add even more beauty to the wall

[Leave.]

Hey, Cindy?

CINDY THE SKULL - "Hello again, officers. Have you come to admire my mural?"

6. "Cindy, I'm going to need your paintbrush.""

CINDY THE SKULL - "What for?"

"I'm doing renovation. It's boring, but necessary."

"For my motor carriage. We're going undercover."

"The apocalypse is coming. I need to warn people."

"For art. It's for art, okay?"

CINDY THE SKULL - "But boring. You're not using my lovely brush to spread boredom."

2. "For my motor carriage. We're going undercover."

CINDY THE SKULL - "I ain't helping no pigs fool honest, upstanding citizens. I'm not an *antisocial element*."

3. "The apocalypse is coming. I need to warn people."

+1 Apocalypse Cop

CINDY THE SKULL - "What do you think I'm trying to paint here -- a mural for a better tomorrow? Why do you really need it?"

4. "For art. It's for art, okay?"

CINDY THE SKULL - "Well, if it's for *art*... But..." Her eyes narrow to slits. "What kind of art are we talking about?"

"To be honest, I haven't really thought of anything yet… But I'm sure I will."

"Everything is sad and shit and we need art to make it okay. Just give me the brush."

"*Grand* art. Art DeLuxe. The artsy-est, the most ground breaking, the..."

+1 Sorry Cop

CINDY THE SKULL - "Sounds like you're just about to live out your self pity, not make a statement. I can't have shit art on my conscience."

"Cool. No brush then. Not a problem."

"You'll see. You will *all* see and tremble."

"To crush a man's dreams like that… I hope you're happy."

CINDY THE SKULL - "Yeah... Not gonna hold my breath, piggy. You look like you'd suck. At... everything really," she quickly adds.

This check has a -2 *penalty* for the SKULL-fit. Better change.

HALF LIGHT- Tremble. THE TIME IS NOW. τὰ ὅλα.

What time?

Yeah... I don't think the time is *now*. Later maybe. [Leave.]

HALF LIGHT- Time for THE SHOW. For τὰ ὅλα. The hallowed time of fear and disintegration. A countdown has begun. All will collapse on itself. The world will disappear into a single grain of blackness. All sound will be muted. All life will scream.

What time?

τὰ ὅλα? What's that?

Wait, wait -- when did this *countdown* begin?

This is because of the insane world-ending I've been saying isn't it? (Proceed.)

Yeah... I don't think the time is *now*. Later maybe. [Leave.]

HALF LIGHT- οῦ λόγου δ' ἐόντος ξυνοῦ ζώουσιν οἱ πολλοὶ ὡς ἰδίαν ἔχοντες φρόνησιν.

3. Wait, wait -- when did this *countdown* begin?

HALF LIGHT- Monday morning. The moment you arrived in this reality. You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

5. Yeah... I don't think the time is *now*. Later maybe. [Leave.]

HALF LIGHT - No. You cannot *leave*. The countdown has not yet reached XERO.

4. This is because of the insane world-ending I've been saying isn't it? (Proceed.)

HALF LIGHT - Yes. You spoke the words of the παλίντροπος, and the houses of Perikarnassis. Items, people, even WORDS will tumble, all will lose its meaning in the coming years. That is why you marked yourself.

Am I sure it's not just a joke, or some kind of coping mechanism?

I'm... a little afraid.

I *do* think the world might end soon. (Opt in.)

Uhm… yeah, I'm going to opt out of the 'παλίντροπος' whatever it is. This was a mistake. (Opt out.)

HALF LIGHT - It's *totally* also a coping mechanism.

2. I'm... a little afraid.

HALF LIGHT - So you should be. The world island crumbles at your feet and in the far plain -- παλίντροπος.

VOLITION [Trivial: Success] - Perhaps -- just a thought -- this has something to do with the hangover?

3. I *do* think the world might end soon. (Opt in.)

HALF LIGHT - The face of the woman fractures. There will be herd killing. We all become vapour.

Thought gained: Cop of the Apocalypse

COP OF THE APOCALYPSE

Temporary research bonus: -1 Rhetoric: Rambling madness Research time: 6h 55 m

You woke up in a hotel room and started rambling about the end of the world. It's not your normal everyday doom-crying, either. Something truly colossal is approaching -- the Gloaming. The Culling. The Bloodletting of Unimaginable Proportions. Until now you've been *pleasantly* vague about the precise nature of this cataclysm. No more! Put the Bloodletting on the burner and *really* figure out what's threatening the fragile physical reality you just found yourself in.

6. [Conceptualization - Impossible 18] Attempt to explain your artistic intentions.

+1 You're aware of Cindy's living conditions.

This... still doesn't seem very doable, but I guess there's nothing for it but to try.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Impossible: Failure] - They do say the painter always paints his own portrait.

"I'm going to paint a self-portrait, but sort of, you know, *from the inside*, to show people what it's like."

Man, that's lame...

CONCEPTUALIZATION - No-no. It's great.

"I'm going to paint a self-portrait, but sort of, you know, *from the inside*, to show people what it's like."

CINDY THE SKULL - "That's pretty fucked up, even for you, piggo."

"Stop belittling me, Cindy!"

"What if I add some interpretive dance?"

"Okay, I won't do that. Please just give me some paint and a brush. I need to do some art."

CINDY THE SKULL - "Stop quivering like jello, then you won't get fucked."

-1 Morale

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - But that would mean he *doesn't* say every pathetic thing that pops in his head.

2. "What if I add some interpretive dance?"

CINDY THE SKULL - She looks you up and down. "I think everyone would rather you didn't."

3. "Okay, I won't do that. Please just give me some paint and a brush. I need to do some art."

CINDY THE SKULL - "You're a real sad sack, you know that? Go ahead, then." She drops the paintbrush at your feet. "Art it up. Just try not to hurt yourself. And *no self portraits*."

"Thanks, Cindy." (Pick up the brush.)

Item gained: Cindy's brush

CINDY THE SKULL - "Sure, any time. Us *shit* artists have to help one another." She looks down at the wall and frowns. "Besides, I was out of fuel oil anyway."

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - She only gave it to you because she doesn't see you as competition.

As implied here, Cindy will actually *not* give us the brush if we succeed in impressing her here.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - The right idea is not coming to her. It's excruciating.

You know what you've got in that fuel canister you scavenged from your Kineema? Red-dyed heavy fuel oil. Paint and a brush -- you're ready to do this.

6. "Catch you later, Cindy." [Leave.]

CINDY'S BRUSH

A paintbrush belonging to Cindy the Skull, an aspiring artist. Its bristles smell nauseatingly of heavy fuel oil. Specks of red, orange, and green paint cover the aluminium ferrule.

We won't paint the wall right now, but we're also going to very quickly talk to Joyce while we're out here.

JOYCE MESSIER - "You're back. Good." She takes a sip from her silvery thermal cup. "What can I help you with?"

2. "So I've been dealing with Evrart again..."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Hmh," she nods with well-contained curiosity.

VOLITION [Trivial: Success] - She's not even asking you anything. It's so easy to just say...

4. "He asked me to open a door."

JOYCE MESSIER - "A referral, you mean? I take it this was for someone in the RCM..." She waves her hand. "Don't answer that."

DRAMA [Challenging: Success] - My liege, this woman has half-convinced herself already. All it would take is a little nudge...

"Yes, a referral."

"No, I mean like a real door. To someone's house."

JOYCE MESSIER - She nods, carefully, as though handling a match near a powder keg. "Such referrals may sometimes get you information from a man like Evrart," she says, raising an eyebrow. "Did it?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective, I advise you to be *very* selective with what information you choose to share. This may have consequences beyond our line-of-sight."

"The Union's militant wing organized the lynching."

"Evrart says the Wild Pines sent mercenaries after the Union -- and now one's dead."

"Evrart asked the Union's militant wing to fully cooperate with the investigation."

"I told him about the mercenary tribunal -- he didn't seem too worried."

"That's all I've got to say."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Yes," she leans slightly closer: "That's the talk about town. The *Hardie boys* they're called..." A crooked smile returns to her face. "I find the name rather amusing, honestly."

2. "Evrart says the Wild Pines sent mercenaries after the Union -- and now one's dead."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Misinformation..." She shakes her head vigorously. "This is all because we haven't shared information on the lynching yet. See, already the adversary uses it to their advantage. Don't let him."

"Hurry up on that probe. The moment you tell me you're finished at the traffic jam, I will *gladly* tell you the company's side of the story."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - She must really want you to look into the drugs -- otherwise she'd tell you.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She was *worried* for a moment. That she's overplayed her hand by not sharing info sooner. Then she settles down, curious to hear more.

Didn't we already do that? This may have been the wrong dialogue.

3. "Evrart asked the Union's militant wing to fully cooperate with the investigation."

JOYCE MESSIER - "How benevolent," she thinks for a second. "Hopefully they'll help you sort this whole business out... if they haven't already?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "While we appreciate your assistance, ma'am, I'm afraid we can't discuss the specifics of an ongoing investigation with you."

JOYCE MESSIER - She nods. "That is only fair."

"I have reason to believe the lynching was a cover-up."

"I've said all I can."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Oh my... *very* interesting. So the militant wing is protecting one of their own..."

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - Her mind races to the conclusion that most benefits her interests. That doesn't mean she's wrong, though.

JOYCE MESSIER - "It looks like you may untie this knot yet!" Her eyes smile and a tingle runs down your spine.

+5 XP

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - There's something in you that really likes the way she's looking at you just now.

+1 Morale

4. "I told him about the mercenary tribunal -- he didn't seem too worried."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Brinkmanship -- or sabre-rattling... Was he surrounded by *Union men* he wanted to impress?"

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - No. It was more like he wanted things to get *worse* -- in secret of course.

"We were alone. And he seems very sure of his ability to keep things in control."

"He wasn't trying to impress anyone. I think he *wants* things to escalate."

"You're right. He was probably just showing off to me."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Or he wants you and me to *believe* he wants to go to war."

DRAMA [Challenging: Success] - Of course. Brinkmanship takes showmanship. We should have seen it before, in his office. He might well have been performing for us.

KIM KITSURAGI - "There's always that risk, ma'am. But if I may offer my opinion..."

"He means it."

"I think he may have just been messing with us."

"Kim's right. I'm pretty sure he meant it."

JOYCE MESSIER - "I'll think it over, detective. Thank you for relaying this information to me."

+5 XP

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - She tries to hide it, but some *great doubt* is spreading within her. There is a crown slowly cracking above her head.

What's this *great doubt* you're talking about?

"Ma'am? Is everything alright?"

VOLITION - You can't say. Only that she's hiding the magnitude of it from you.

"Ma'am? Is everything alright?"

JOYCE MESSIER - "What? Yes, of course. Everything's fine. Perhaps there's more gossip you'd like to share?"

5. "That's all I've got to say."

JOYCE MESSIER - "What you've said is quite enough. You have given me a lot to consider -- and may have helped me prevent this conflict from escalating."

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Hear that, hero? Feels good, doesn't it? You should relay confidential information more often.

5. "He asked me to deliver an envelope."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Sounds like he has you running errands, detective. A well-established dominance ritual..." She thinks. "Where did he have you deliver it?"

"To a nameless settlement, down the coast. Nearby."

"Nowhere. Let's change the topic."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Ah yes, I've been meaning to go there..." She looks over the bay.

EMPATHY [Trivial: Success] - With longing... clear and simple longing. Strange. Why does she want to go there?

"He wants to build a youth centre here. For the children of Martinaise."

"You're quite fond of this village, aren't you?"

"So you're sad you can't buy the place?" (Conclude.)

JOYCE MESSIER - "A youth centre with Edgar Claire's statue on top of it..." Her eyes run across the water, remorsefully.

"Go ahead, help him. Make it so. I have no power to stop him."

2. "You're quite fond of this village, aren't you?"

JOYCE MESSIER - "I should be." She nods -- there's that crooked smile again. "In my youth I had a brief dalliance here in Martinaise. He was an older man, with impossibly broad shoulders..."

"He's probably dead by now -- even his shack is long gone… not that it matters. These buildings are all carbon copies of one another."

"When you were a teen? *Slumming* it, like you told me before?"

"You've been to Martinaise before?"

JOYCE MESSIER - "I'm glad to see your *short-term* memory appears intact. In any case, I wasn't a *teen* anymore, I would have been in my early twenties. I remember a distinctly *vile* disco track..."

"Disco isn't vile."

"Disco *is* vile."

"Sounds like you miss those times."

JOYCE MESSIER - "It is -- but not as vile as me..." She looks over the bay, her green eyes shining.

"Sounds like you miss those times."

JOYCE MESSIER - "Not overly so. It's not like this was the only place we visited -- me and my girlfriends from Ozonne with our shiny boats, like reavers..."

"We told ourselves we were the worst thing to happen to the coast since the Coalition landed in '08. Imagine!" She tosses her head.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - Oh no -- she's sentimental all right.

"If you say so."

JOYCE MESSIER - "I'm over-radiated, Harry," she sprouts. "I do silly things sometimes -- out of pale-related illness. Like take this job. The moral of the story is..." she lists:

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - So it was a factor in her coming to Martinaise in the first place? Interesting.

JOYCE MESSIER - "Do not spend 22 days a year in pale transit, don't waste your twenties slumming it with your stupid friends, and don't deliver Evrart Claire's mail." Her bony finger is pointed like an arrow at your chest...

"Are you satisfied, detective? What else can you tell me about your *mail delivery quest* for Evrart? Do you think it will *improve* the place?"

+5 XP

3. "So you're sad you can't buy the place?" (Conclude.)

JOYCE MESSIER - "Yes. I'm sad I will never have the time, detective -- I've always wanted a dilapidating fishing village."

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - She is more defensive about it than usual.

JOYCE MESSIER - "Full of ghosts and ancient memories." She smiles. "Has this errand yielded you any... information?"

6. "I'd rather talk about something else for now, if you don't mind." (Conclude.)

JOYCE MESSIER - "Of course, detective," she simmers down. "You can always drop by later, should something come up -- now, what else can I do you for?"

8. "Thank you. That's all for now." [Leave.]

THOUGHT COMPLETE: MOTORWAY SOUTH

BONUSES: All Intellect White checks unlocked +1 Inland Empire: The swallowing motion

SOLUTION: The lone vector stretches in your mind’s eye into the wild pale yonder. For an unimaginable distance, forgetting, forgetting... Until you can no longer remember anything – no cities, no mountains, no oceans. And finally – no vector. Nothing remains. A blank space with no point of reference, where only one type of motion is possible. The motion of a human throat, swallowing. And then it comes to you: to reach the end of the Motorway South is to be *unborn*. You've had this thought before while aimlessly wandering the streets of Jamrock. A lost piece of the man you were. A dark hope.

This unlocked the checks to open the Cargo Container Door, get Gaston's sandwich, and identify the source of the Expression.

Ok, let's do the thing we actually *voted* on.

🎵 Whirling-in-Rags, 8PM

We have reasons to talk to basically everyone here. But first, there's someone we *weren't* expecting...

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Hi, gendarme. Another rendezvous." There he is again -- the smoker on the balcony! Right here in the Whirling-in-Rags.

+5 XP

"Hi."

"Hello."

"You're here!"

[Leave.]

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "I see you've found yourself a little something from my wardrobe." He scans you. "Not bad, not bad at all. What brings you here?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Tell me again about that *muscular type* who came to investigate the crime."

"I met your Sunday friend."

[Composure - Legendary 14] What is it about the way he carries himself?

"About the hat and the robe I'm wearing..."

[Leave.]

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Admiring the atmosphere..." He smiles. "What about you, officer?"

"I live here, my room is right upstairs."

"I'm here to kick some ass and solve the case I'm working on."

"I don't know what I'm doing here. I just go wherever life takes me."

Unfortunately we cannot tell him we're here for *karaoke*, because we have already done that.

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Well, here's to you!" He raises a glass, before taking a sip of his drink, froth grazing his mouth.

2. "Tell me again about that *muscular type* who came to investigate the crime."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Oh, yes... let's see. He knocked on my door a few days after the lynching. I think he was going through the entire building, asking questions."

"What did you tell him?"

"What did he look like?"

"Was he alone?"

"Besides *muscular*, did he have any other identifying traits?"

"Thanks for the information."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Nothing. That I didn't see anything."

"And he believed you?"

"Did you tell him about your friend?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Why shouldn't he?"

"Did you tell him about your friend?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He takes another drag of his cigarette before knitting his brows. "What friend?"

"Your Sunday friend, the witness."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "No, I don't think it came up."

2. "What did he look like?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Muscular. Handsome." He shrugs nonchalantly. "Strong. Like one of those military types."

3. "Was he alone?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Yes, but he was speaking to someone on his earpiece."

"His earpiece?"

"What was he saying?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Yes, you know those tiny speaker-microphones that fancy security guards sometimes wear."

"What was he saying?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Just reporting back whatever I was telling him."

4. "Besides *muscular*, did he have any other identifying traits?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Oh, let me think..." He turns his eyes upward in recollection. "He had an accent. He sounded like one of those mercenaries."

"He sounded vaguely Oranjese." He closes his eyes. "No, not vaguely, scratch that. He sounded *definitely* Oranjese."

5. "Thanks for the information."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Sure. Anything else on your mind?" His lazy eyes stroll over your face.

3. "I met your Sunday friend."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "You did?" A small smile adorns his face. "And how did you like him?"

"You were right, he was magical. Magically bureaucratic."

"I didn't like him as much as I like you."

"I didn't. He's a government official. I don't trust governments."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Aw, shoot." He bursts out laughing. "Why not?"

"Who is he?"

"What are you, you two?"

"Why was he staying at your place in the middle of night?"

"I don't want to talk about other people, I want to talk about you."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "A visitor from the first world. He's not like you and me, gendarme." He smiles and his smile seems melancholic. "He can always return."

"Return where?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "To his opportunities in Occident, Sur-la-Clef. Still..." He breathes in and keeps his lungs filled for a moment, before letting it out. "His coming and going brings some life to the village."

"Or is it just money, I don't know..." He stares at the bar.

2. "What are you, you two?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Friends, I told you. Sunday friends. Friends who like to get together from time to time."

"What does it mean -- a Sunday friend?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - He sighs: "That he won't be there when times get tough, I guess."

"Is that even a friend?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "It is -- on Sundays." He smiles.

3. "Why was he staying at your place in the middle of night?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "He has keys. And he likes the view..." He waves gently with his cigarette-holding hand. "To the sea, I mean."

4. "I don't want to talk about other people, I want to talk about you."

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Hmm?" He hums. "What about me, gendarme?"

5. "About the hat and the robe I'm wearing…"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "You can keep it, I don't mind. I can appreciate beauty when I see it."

"I wasn't really planning on giving it back anyway."

"Thanks. It's like carrying a piece of you with me at all times."

"I took it to blend in. I'm undercover, you see?"

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Is it now?" He starts laughing. "Well, enjoy it."

4. [Composure - Legendary 14] What is it about the way he carries himself?

+1 He's so different.

COMPOSURE [Legendary: Failure] - It's the sports, he's a sports guy, all about that physical prowess and athletic skill... Nothing else here.

6. [Leave.]

SMOKER ON THE BALCONY - "Bye-bye, gendarme."

A woman's hand wrote yesterday's menu. Today's starts in a man's writing.

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Ah, 'Smallest Church in Saint-Saëns,' right?" The cafeteria manager is waiting for you to acknowledge that he recognized the song.

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #cindy the skull #joyce messier #smoker on the balcony #garte the cafeteria manager

[moonlightblueandicegrey]

Warnings: homophobic and transphobic parents

Okay, hear me out. I drew my flags okay?

I couldn't buy lgbt+ flags because my parents are homophobic and transphobic (i still live with them) so i decided to draw my flags. And i put them in my closet. Yes, inside my closet! Look at this:

(this isn't the best try and the colours aren't the best either but that's all i had for now)

And my mother opened my closet because... I don't even know why! And she saw the flags. (I told her that the first and the third flag are both bisexual flags because I don't want more drama in my life, neither i want to give more explanations. Sadly, i couldn't lie about the trans flag because she already knows how it looks). And after she saw the flags she was like:

"Take them off of the closet because i don't want anyone to see them!"

What a stupid way of saying "I don't want to see them" 🙄

Like, who's gonna open my damn closet except me?? (And you for some reason).

And then she said: "Your teacher might see them!"

Bro, wtf? Is my teacher going to open my closet or something? Why would she do that? To see my jackets and rate them out of 20?

Mother: "I don't want to see the flags!"

Finally, speaking the truth! Okay, i get that, you are homophobic. So, if you don't want to see my flags, then don't open my closet out of nowhere!!!

End of the story

*takes deep breath* yeah, that's it. Thank you very much for listening.

............................................................................

I didn't make this post just to share this specific event and just to calm down my nerves. It's not about the flags in my closet. It's much more than that.

Since i came out to my parents, everyday something is happening that just makes me angry or sad again. The day goes perfectly fine until "my mum opens my closet out of nowhere" and here we go again. More drama, more anxiety, more anger and more tears. Can't we have some peace?! It's not like I'm bothering you or something! So why do you always bring this up and bother me? Can't we let some days pass without trouble? Do we always have to say the same things over and over again? Do we always have to fight?

I mean, be patient! It's one fucking year! I'll have my own house the next year so just be patient until then! That's what i also do. I'm patient.

I'm in a state where I can't do anything about transitioning. I can't even buy a hoodie from the male section because they say "that's the male section, you are a girl" and stuff like that, even if it's just a single colour hoodie! (Let's be honest, the only difference is the sizes. Single colour simple-classic hoodies are always the same).

I don't say my opinion about transsexuality or bisexuality (or about anything LGBT+ related) because i already know their reaction. I don't express my thoughts or opinions, I don't ask my questions and i don't discuss my troubles. Although i want to do it!

I'm patient... But they aren't.

~

And i know it might be hard for them, i understand that. I'm willing to give them time to think about it and to search and to learn and to understand me better and to have as many calm discussions as they want. The problem is that they are wasting this time. They do none of those things. They just complain. Can't they just be patient for another year? It's not much if you think about it.

~

Anyway, if i say everything that I want to say now about me and my parents and my experience, this post is never going to end.

So let's get in the important part:

I wish you all good luck with the "come out to parents" thing. I wish you to have lots of patience (you might need it). I wish you to be happy and healthy, always. Be strong. And... Yeah... It might go well but if it doesn't just remember that you are not alone. Be positive and know that better things are about to come in the future... So... I might be terrible with words, but i just wanted to say that you are not alone even if you think that you are, you are not. You'll find your way I promise. Good luck.

Take care of yourself okay?

#trans ftm #trans man #transgender #bisexual #lgbtqia #lgbtq #trans pride #lgbt pride #pride flag #lgbt flag #things #thank you #you are loved #you are not alone

[can-ya-guess-my-curent-obsession]

Hiya! If your still doing requests Could you do Murdoc x Fem girly reader headcannons

Reader is the complete opposite of Murdoc she is sweet to everyone, wears dresses likes pastel colours stuff like that. If that’s okay with you <3

Murdoc x Very fem pastel F! S/O

WRITERS NOTE: Hi! I honestly really like this request, I personally find any pastel style to be realy cool! But I do apologize I'm not good at gendered things- but I will try my very best! I hope you like the hc and that you have a wonderful day!

[ANOTHER NOTE: This is late again, life threw a wrench in my posting schedule again. Anyways have a lovely day, sorry for the delay!]

Edited: Nope

All art in this post is mine

TW: Curssing, Murdoc drinking, Murdocs childhood, Murdoc being a grouch, implied abuse?, spoilers for cracker Island, jealousy, insecurity, probably more but can't figure it right now- so just tell me any out standing ones I missed.

(Side thing: Murdocs shity behavior is not ok, it's toxic, I am not trying to indorse the shit he does!)

Characters:

/Gorillaz/

Murdoc(yay better murdoc drawing)

How???

Sorry HuH???

Just how???

You are the embodiment of a kind person... and Murdocs..... a satanic piece of shit gremlin with anger issues

So to say everyone- including Murdoc himself was quite surprised

The band won't let him live down the fact you two are so different

They tease him a lot, but other then that that band absolutely adores S/O

2D has straight up asked you why would you 'date 'an asshole like Murdoc', it was very blut though there was no ill will behind it

Murdoc will Call you the normal nick names such a 'dove, babe, love, ect..' but he will most likly call you a bit more sweet things- in private obviously, but this often happens if he's ih a more sensitive state-

Whether that be when he's drunk, high, hung over, ect... he'll just tend to be a bit loving- his voice is almost tender

And he'll use pet names like 'babydoll, sugar, cutie, my star, sweetie, the occasional babycake's', but Murdoc could use those in a very teasing way too if S/O is the kind of person who tends to get flustered

"*hic* ya'know, I'ma start... *hic* call'en ya cavity..." Murdoc said sluring his words

"What, why?"

"*drunken giggle* Cuz' yer so cute *hic* dat'cha rot my teeth... heh.."

S/O looks so different when standing next to Murdoc that some people find it concerning

When out in public with each other at night(ie. Murdoc draged you to a bar with him), there has been at least one case of someone coming up to you in concern for S/O's wellbeing, thinking Murdoc was some creep following S/O, or the every so often waitress or waitor asking if you are ok, when you and Mudz are out on a date

Murdoc gets really pissed when this happens, so S/O will have to call him down

With pastel and bright clothes you gonna want to not leave them around Murdocs room/Winnebago because that shit will be stained to high hell(even if you need a black light to see the stains), and those stains will never come out, so be reaaally careful

He doesn't really understand why you like pastel & bright clothes or makeup- but he definitely thinks you look good in it so he won't complain- as long as you don't try and put any of that on him(at least in public)-

Listen hun, Murdoc has a reputation to uphold!- Murdoc would often repeat variants of that

"SSSZZ-SSTOOWWWPPHhhu- *hmph* I have a reputation- and YOU-" Murdocs points an accusatory finger at S/O "-Fuck'in... leav'en damn stupid... neon fuk'en PINK lipstick marks.. on MY damn FACE... BEFORE A DAMN SHOW..isn't help'in..."

"Why'dya got'a go'in be so damn cute... yer stupid 'KinDNeSs' making me look... ugh nice..."

S/O when their in the later phases and later in the relationship- S/O definitely made Murdoc more nice but only really around S/O- don't get me wrong when S/O's gone Mudz still a complete ass

But he tends to be more chilled out, Murdy once he got close to S/O, he really wanted her to like him- but this isn't uncommon with Murdoc getting scared his shitty behavior is gonna scare a person he genuinely cares about away

He's in complete denial about going any for of soft, and he just ends up acting like a piss baby-

"Wha'dya mean I'm go'in soft!?!" Murdoc said pulling away from S/O

"Babe. You're wearing the *insert random pastel themed character* shirt I got you..."

"...I-...I had nut'en else to wear.." Murdoc tutned away with a huff

"You walk around shirtless and in your underwear all the time- what changed?"

"...ShutUp-!..."

Or

"..Damn face ache..." Mudz slammed the door with a a groan, clearly agitated

"You ok dear?"

Murdoc turned to you and pouted like a bitter old man "Face Ache said I was going soft!!! Can ya believe that fuck'en nob!"

He's overall very bitter and sour about going soft, so don't tease him to much unless you want his grumpy-ness to turn into full blown anger

Murdoc like to send S/O pictures of things that remind him of her/her style

This is most often pictures of clothes, but it can maybe be a pic of a stuffy or somthing, these items are often pointed out by Noodle or even 2D

But when 2D talks about/points out things that remained him of S/O Mudz will most likely get jealous... and I think we can geuss how it usually goes from there..

Speaking of jealousy

Due to how nice and kind of a person S/O is to everyone, and how insecure Murdoc can be- he can get jealous pretty easy depending on the situation

And no it's not a 'ohh ahh, he's protective and loving' jealousy- no he's an insecure angry goblin man- only getting petty and aggressive, just sit him down and have a talk, he just needs some reassurance

To add to S/O dressing up Murdy. Murdoc refuses to match outfits, he refuses to let you do his makeup... or take pictures of it to show it to people at least..

Like my last statement implies Murdoc has let her do his makeup before, S/O just can't take pictures to show it around to people- tho this doesn't mean you can't take pictures at all

Because you can and you do, S/O has so many pictures of Murdoc in a skirt, or a full face of makeup, etc... and there all adorable even if Murdoc is pissed in all of them

Murdoc refuses to match your style or do any of the dressing up thing in public, or let any of it go out into public. He is stubborn and this is a big boundary for him, so please respect this.

This doesn't just apply to appearances, but just his stuff in general, so no cute neon stickers on things, or cutesy decorations without his permission. Murdoc stands firm on his decision so don't push to much he will get really agitated, and it might lead to a fight- like I said his stubbornness is off the chart.

Murdoc teases S/O quite a bit especially at the beginning of the relationship, and especially if its in earlier phases-

It's how he copes with nice people, Murdy isn't use to people being nice

Murdoc grew up with assholes, he was raised to be an asshole, and he was raised in a way to basically see kindness to be a form of weakness.

So him being shown kindness from this goddess, in response he freaks out a bit and just get really teasy out of defense at first

And knowing him, he might say some upseting things. So S/O has to walk very carefully around early phase Mudz or just a bit early in the relationship

Murdocs sweetheart of a girlfriend is gonna have to break down some walls, and honestly this applys to all and any relationship with Mudz- theres always a few walls to get through

But with any initial kindness there will be some extra defense put up by Murdoc

(I wanna talk about phaze 7 Mudz specifically for a second, so like spoiler warning I guess? )

Murdoc is firm on the fact what he is wearing isn't a dress- we all know what I'm referring to!

That thing he wears in the Cracker Island music video.

He referres to it by whatever it's actually name is(again I don't know, I'll edit it when I figure it out) or he calls them PJ's. He has referred to it dress like but never a girly dress like somthing S/O would wear- and he gets pissy if anyone goes around calling it that. Though in the passed Murdoc has probably worn a dress before.

(Ok weird tangent over, back to just general Murdoc)

Despite hating it when S/O does his makeup or dressing him up- Murdoc does love picking her clothes out and has more then once done S/O's makeup- and he isn't the greatest at first but he does eventually learn how to apply eyeliner without impaling your eyes

Murdoc while is proud of his work- will not stop laughing at how she looks after he's done S/O's makeup

Murdoc 100% underestimates S/O, he thinks S/O is one of the most pure things ever and he wants to mess that up ;)

JK- I'm just joking... particularly...

Anyway!-

He just kinda sees S/O as a bit of a childish innocent person who's oblivious to the world- like how else could you be so happy?

If S/O really is that innocent than good luck, becuase that sure as hell isn't gonna 100% last if she wants to stay with this Satanist

But if you arn't as innocent well then it's quite a pleasant surprise to Murdoc

It's up to you to determine how you want Murdoc to figure out S/O's lack of innocence but here are some examples

1. Murdoc used a horribly raunchy and crapy pickup line on S/O and she retorted back with her own, this left Murdoc flustered and stunned before he played it off pretty well. Mudz jokes about this later on because he finds this situation funny

2. Murdoc whilst pissed said some unsavory things, and S/O responds in a way that shows she understood what he just said, and Murdoc depending on how bad what he said was would either laugh it off or he would immediately choke on his own spit, then awkwardly defend himself

3. Very similar 1 but Murdoc made a dirty or just inappropriate joke and S/O expressed they understood and Murdoc would just burst out laughing

Just a few ideas- but it's up to you

But once Murdy finds out, him being the dirty little man he is- he's gonna tease you about it. Mudz sometimes mockingly treats you like a kid- with all good intentions of course

Either way innocent or not S/O is just as appealing- just in different ways

"Dove... your cuteness juz made me throw up'en my mouth.."

#gorillaz x reader #murdoc x reader #murdoc niccals #murdoc niccals x reader

[canirove]

The Princess & the Football Player | Chapter 5

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"He was wearing what?"

"Just a towel."

"And you didn't faint?" 

"I was so shocked by what I was seeing in front of me, that I didn't have time to think about anything else."

"Oh my God" Roberta laughs over facetime. "And then he went to apologize?"

"He did. And he called me by my name, and I swear it has never sounded better. Eleanor" I sigh.

"Girl..."

"I know, I know. And you know what makes it even worse? That his girlfriend, ex girlfriend or whatever, was at the stadium too."

"She was?"

"Yep. She was wearing a shirt with no number or name on it, but she was sitting with the other wags."

"Then maybe she's there only as a friend."

"Maybe... I don't know" I say, letting myself fall on the bed. "When did you say you were coming?"

"In a couple of days for the last game of this round. You'll thirst for Declan, and I'll thirst for Rashford. Deal?"

"Deal" I laugh. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━      

"Ok, is everyone wearing their clothes?" Kane asks before completely opening the changing room's door. 

"One minute!" someone shouts.

"Who was that?"

"Jack."

"Oh dear" I say.

"Not a big fan, uh?" Kane chuckles.

"He just isn't my cup of tea. But please don't tell him. The other day he said I'm his favourite royal."

"I won't, don't worry."

"Ready!" Jack shouts again.

"We sure?" Kane asks, looking inside the room. "Ok. After you, ma'am."

"Thank you" I smile.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━      

"Nice to see you again, your Royal Highness."

"You too, Declan Rice. And wearing clothes this time."

"Disappointed?" he asks with a cheeky smile.

"A bit, not gonna like” I sigh. Oh my God, why did I say that?

"I like the number on your shirt” he says as he moves a bit closer, his finger hovering over my shirt as he draws the number.

"Because it is yours?" I ask, trying to sound cool and condifent despite feeling my heart beating way too fast.

"Maybe" he shrugs, still smiling. "Do you also have the red shirt? We are wearing that one for our next game."

"I don't look good in red."

"You look good in every colour, Ele... I mean, ma'am. I'm sorry. My mum always calls you by your name and I'm used to it" he says, the cheeky smile now turning into a shy one. I honestly don’t know wich one I like the most. Both? Both.

"It's ok, don't worry" I smile back. “And thank you.”

“What for?”

“For saying I look good in every colour. I don’t think it is true, but...”

“But it is true” he shrugs.

"Ok everyone, get ready for the photo" Kane announces.

"Would you mind if I posed next to you? My mum would love it."

"It'll be my pleasure."

"Great" he says with a big smile that is added to my collection of Declan Rice smiles that make me swoon.

Once everyone is ready, I'm posing with Grealish to one side and him to the other. Grealish has his hands in front of him, but Declan doesn't. One I suppose is on Kane's back since he is to his other side. The other... The other is on my back. On my low back to be precise.

If anyone else touched me like that, they would definitely get a murderous look from me and some words from David. But that's not Declan's case. Mainly because I think I've forgotten how my body works. I'm only able to feel his touch even through the fabric of my shirt, and it isn't until the photographer asks for some smiles, that I remember where I am and what I am supposed to be doing. 

"Ok, we got it. Thank you, everyone" he says.

"My mum is definitely framing this and putting it next to the other one" Declan chuckles.

"She has our other photo framed?"

"She does. She sent me a photo of the shelves where she put it, it's like you are part of the family" he laughs. “I can show you, I just need to go grab my phone.”

"Ma'am, we have to leave" David says behind us.

"Maybe... Maybe you can send it to me? I'll send you a dm on Instagram from my personal account."

"Oh, ok. Great. I didn't know you had one.”

"That's because it is a secret" I smirk.

"My lips are sealed, then" he says, moving his fingers over his mouth and making me look at it. At his lips. At how kissable they look.

"Ma'am..." David insists.

"Yes, sorry. Keep an eye on your dms, ok? And good luck for the next game.”

"Thank you, Ele... ma’am."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━      

"You must be careful, ma'am."

"What?"

"That boy. You must be careful" David says when we make it to my hotel room.

"I don't know what you are talking about" I shrug.

"Eleanor..."

"You only call me by my name when it is something serious" I chuckle.

"Because this is serious. You are the future Queen of England, and he is a football player. It can't be."

"Why not?" 

"Haven't you heard what I just said?"

"Urgh" I complain.

"Eleanor, I know you fancy him. And he seems to fancy you too."

"Wait, what? You think he... You think he fancies me?”

"Yes, I do. To be honest, I don’t know how no one else has noticed. Especially today. You were so reckless...”

“We were just talking, David. And somewhere private.”

“But you are Eleanor, Princess of Wales. Talking about you sells. Imagine that someone in that changing room notices they way you were looking at each other, they tell their partner or a friend about it, and that person isn’t careful or tells the press about it. Or imagine that someone was taking a photo or a video with their phones, they post it on social media, and someone sees you.”

“But...”

“This relationship is not possible, Eleanor. Not even as a fling like happened last summer with Damiano. It just can't. So you better stop it before it even starts."

"What if I can't, David?" I sigh.

"It doesn’t matter. You must end this, Eleanor. You must."

#declan rice #declan rice fanfic #declan rice imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

[bluberimufim]

The Caretos of Podence

Happy Carnaval!! Time for another cultural ramblie because I haven't done this in a while!!

(I just think they're cool)

This was originally gonna be about multiple Carnaval traditions in Portugal, like my Halloween post, because I wanted to talk about a really beautiful festivity in my city but then I realized it was related to an entirely different holiday and I wasn't gonna scrap this idea (I'll do that one in August, I guess??). So I decided to make a post about the Caretos of Podence because I just really vibed with them.

disclaimer! None of this is from lived experience, just online research (although I tried to use sources directly related to it, specifically the Casa do Careto website). I am not from Trás-os-Montes at all and have little contact with this. Just like in my first cultural ramblie, this is just me trying to better connect with my own culture and sharing what I find with anyone who's interested. If you see any errors or want to add anything, feel free!! I'm always happy to learn!

Okay, but before we begin: what exactly is Carnaval?

You might have heard of Brazil's Carnaval. Portugal's is way less hardcore but still culturally important (although some brazillian-style Carnavais are celebrated here).

The actual day of Carnaval is the day before Ash Wednesday, but it usually lasts about a week or 3 days in more urban areas (Carnaval break is a real thing that schools have). The general objective is to have an all-out celebration before Lent starts because, after that, you're not supposed to celebrate until Easter rolls around.

The Caretos

The village of Podence is in the middle of Trás-os-Montes, somewhat between Mirandela and Miranda do Douro. It is mostly known for this celebration, which lasts for about a week.

The name "caretos" means something like "big faces" and comes from their very recognizable masks. They're made of either leather or metal and are meant to completely obscure the identity of the wearer. The costumes are made of rows of coloured wool and are usually made by the community. The red, yellow, and green pattern is not mandatory and it can have many different colours, but it's the most common since it's the colours of the flag. On top of the costume, they wear a lot of bells: smaller ones attached to the straps on their chest and 4 to 8 bigger cowbells tied around their waist.

During the celebration, the caretos dance through the town, accompanied by the jingling of their bells. Traditionally, the caretos were young men who chased after single women, but today anyone can wear the costume and chase after anyone they please. They also go around stealing any easily grabbable chorizos left hanging from smokehouses, and use wooden staffs to propel their jumps higher.

On the last day of Carnaval, the Entrudo (a giant figure of a man) is burnt to draw away the bad things of the old year and let in the next. Like this:

This celebration has pagan roots, although none really know exactly where its origins lie. People seem to point to it being a pre-roman festivity, but we have few sources to go from. The most probable explanation is that it was a fertility ritual connected to the agricultural cycle, since this is generally the time in which farmers can start planting again after the winter.

I hope you enjoyed this little ramble. Because I very much did. Here's some more pictures:

#fun fact: they made a board game about this #a thing i've never seen but DESPERATELY want to see a Careto do is a body wave #i know that costume is gonna look soooo satisfying doing that #and sound satisfying too tbh. like those cylinder thingies at the carwash. #i've never gone to see the Caretos bc i'm broke as hell but i want to someday #i have another cultural ramblie planned for tomorrow btw!! it's gonna be kinda different but still cool #happy carnaval #portugal ramblies #portuguese tradition #caretos de podence #portuguese folklore #idk how common carnaval is or isn't in other countries. sorry if the intro was kinda bad in that regard

[your-ghoul-pal]

Aurora Borealis

Pairing: Aurora (she/her) x Sunny (they/them) Warnings: none WC: 2k Tags: fluff, vaguely implied transfem Aurora, just pure fluff and wholesome, not beta'd or proofread

Read on AO3

Sunshine was excited yet scared, they'd been informed about the idea of summoning more ghouls for the band since they and Aether had to stay back. They wished that they could've gone, but other duties called for them. At least they had someone around they knew well. Sunshine was happy that Aether decided to stay back and help them with the duties, even though Sunny knew how much Aether loved touring.

After laying in bed staring at the ceiling for satan knows how long? They decided to get up and throw on something simple, no need to dress fancy for a summoning, definitely since they had been told it was going to be another man. Like they didn't have enough boys around already! Sunny threw on their jeans and a simple band tee, judging by the size of it, it wasn't theirs. While they make their way to leave, they hear a knocking on the door, "come on, the summoning is in 5, we need ya Sunny "

Sunshine sighed, "I'm already coming", opening the door to see Aether standing there, dressed in jeans and a button up. "Why the fuck are you trying to look fancy?" Sunshine frowned at him. "Just want to make a good first impression" Aether smiled at them. They raised their eyebrow but decided to let it be and walked towards the summoning room.

Sunshine waited impatiently, they'd rather be reading or drawing right now instead of standing in the cold damp basement of the church. The room was filled with a haze and they could barely see a meter in front of them 'was it also like this when they were summoned' they wonder fiddling with the cloak they're holding. "Why does it take so long?" They asked, Cirrus turns and motions for them to be quiet.

Sunshine waits and looks at the haze puddling in the middle of the circle. A body seems to appear. Sunshine unfolds the cloak and readies it to give it to the new summon, who is now a full body. Their hair is long and pink fading to purple, their skin is a light grey with little spats of colours dancing over it.

'Holy fuck' Sunshine can't believe their eyes, this wasn't just another one of the boys. Okay the boys were not ugly either, just not much to their taste. But the new summon made their stomach twist. Sunshine turns their gaze to the floor, hoping to hide their flustered face.

"Hello, welcome upside" Sunshine recognised Cirrus' voice "What's your name?" "I don't have one, or at least not one fit for me" the summon spoke with a soft tender voice, with a soft accent, Sunshine isn’t sure what the accent is but they guess French.

"Hey Sun, can you hand them the cloak? It's nice to be a bit covered ya know" Cirrus laughed. Sunshine shook their head and walked up to the two, carefully hanging the cloak over the shoulders of the new summon. Now that they were so close Sunshine could feel their energy, air and something else, maybe fire? like them. or maybe quintessence?

"Hi, I'm Sunshine" They held their hand out for the smaller ghoul to shake. "Hi" they grabbed their hand. "I'm gonna leave the 2 of you to figure it out, I need to get to rehearsal, see ya later!" Cirrus says before walking away.

"I don't know if i like her" the summon spoke again, "Don't worry, she is very kind, but also just very, well serious while also fun" Sunshine reassures the other "Also you don't seem like one of the boys? I was told we would have another ghoul come up." Sunshine asks, raising their eyebrows. "Did they really? still? No, I am not another ghoul. I'm a ghoulette The summon spoke, a slight hurt in her voice.

"Come with me, I'll give you some better clothes and show you around, is that good?" Sunshine says to move on from the previous subject "I guess so?" The summon says, finally looking around the room, quickly putting up a face of disgust "I do hope the rest looks better than this" she laughs. "Oh it will" Sunshine smiles before gesturing to the other to follow them.

Sunshine hands the smaller ghoul one of their older dresses that doesn't really fit them anymore. "You okay with a dress,?i don't think I have anything that fits better " "I don't mind, they seem comfortable"

The new ghoulette admires herself in the mirror, the light yellow flower dress creating a perfect contrast to her pink/purple hair. "All the colours on you make me think of the Aurora borealis" Sunny says "the what?" the new ghoul turned around to face them "Aurora Borealis. the northern lights" Sunny says. "never heard of it." "It is very pretty. Wait, maybe it's visible tonight, that is one of the good things of living so far north" Sunny explains.

The rest of the day Sunshine leads the new summon around the church, showing routes, rooms and chores. Sunshine doesn't notice how the other is not paying attention to Sunshine, or at least not to what they're saying but rather their looks.

Once the two walk back to the ghoul quarters Sunshine turns to the other, "Ehm, they are still working on new rooms so there isn't one for you yet. You are welcome to stay with me for so long if you want to" "oh, yeah, uhm thanks" "But first, dinner," Sunshine says, already smelling the food.

Dinner goes somewhat smoothless, once the new summon is given a quick rundown of how eating upside goes. 'They're a fast learner' Sunshine thinks, staring at her. Well it may be more admiring than just staring. "Hey Sunny, are you still with us here, we asked you something?" a voice sounds "oh, huh, sorry I was thinking" Sunshine mutters Cumulus raises her eyebrow at them but goes back to eating before they can comment on it. "Sunshine. Do you know where she will sleep?" Mountain asked, motioning to the new summon. "Yeah I told her, she is welcome to stay in my room." Sunshine answers quickly. Mountain raises his eyebrow at them but shrugs it off, at least they didn't have to figure that out anymore.

Sunshine grabbed the new summon along to their room after dinner, "It is not a lot yet, I'm still working on it, but it is better than nothing." Sunshine exclaims while dragging the small ghoulette with them.

"Welcome in, even though you've already seen it" Sunshine announces opening their door, showing their room, it is small with light blue walls painted with flower fields at the bottom. The bed is small but big enough to fit the two small ghouls. The mirror is leaning against the dresser in the corner. "It looks quite lovely" the smaller one exclaims, 'not as lovely as you' Sunshine thinks.

The rest of the evening the two sit on the bed, talking about life in the pit and upside. Both learning a lot about the other, making them admire the other even more. By the time Cirrus comes in to check on them, both are beaming and talking loudly. "Hey little fellas!" Cirrus says with a smile. "What do you want, giant?" Sunshine smiles back. "Look outside, I think you'll like it, anyways, have fun and good night" Cirrus says before slipping out the door. The new summon raises her eyebrow at Sunshine, who shrugs "Shall we go onto the roof?" "Can we?" the smaller one beams "Surely" Sunshine smiles

"Careful. Now place your foot here. And voila, we're up!" Sunshine exclaims, looking up at the sky. Aurora Borealis How did they forget it was going to be this visible tonight?

"Look" Sunshine points at the sky, the small ghoulette follows their gesture, "holy shit, that's beautiful" "It is" Sunshine says, sitting down and gesturing for the other to join them

For a while they sit in silence, admiring the sky. Shovelling closer and closer to each other while the night cools down. "I understand a little why you said I remind you of it" The new ghoulette says after a while, startling Sunshine. “The dancing of the colours in the sky is similar to the colours shifting over my skin” the shorter ghoulette continues, “Maybe that could be my name!” “Aurora?” Sunshine asks unsure. “Yes!” she exclaims, almost losing her balance, Sunshine grabs her and pulls her close against them. “I do like the name Aurora, and it does fit you well, but please don’t fall off the roof, you have a tour to do first” Sunshine smiles. “Thank you” Aurora says, her voice still filled with fear. “Don’t worry about it, I am here if you need anything” Sunshine says, Aurora curling against them enjoying the warmth radiating off of them. “Why are you so nice and warm?” Aurora slurs out, half dozing off already. “Because I am a multi; air, fire and a little quintessence” Sunshine says proudly. “That is cool” Aurora says, snuggling even more into Sunshine’s warmth. “I think it may be time to head back inside and get some sleep, I know from experience that sleeping on the roof is not very comfortable or liked by the upper clergy.” Sunshine says, carefully pushing Aurora off. “Hmmmpf, Can I just take a small nap here, please?” Aurora says, turning her head and giving Sunshine puppy eyes. “Oh so that is your tactic, fine. You may take a nap, only because you are new” Sunshine smiles at her.

After a few minutes Aurora has dozed off, softly snoring while being half curled against Sunshine. Who just enjoys the company of their new pack mate, finally having time to understand their thoughts and feelings. Ever since they saw her, their stomach was twisting, their heart was beating just a little faster and oh, the staring. They could not stop staring at her, at her wavy hair, coloured so brightly pink and purple. The way that their dress fit her so perfect, creating one of the prettiest smiles they had ever seen. Were they in love? But even if they truly were (which surprise was truly true), they should let her adapt to the upside first. They would let time take the lead, they would see where things would go but for now they just enjoyed the moment.

Aurora was still peacefully sleeping an hour later, Sunshine had only been thinking. “Hey, little space bug, I think I like you. But having said that, can you move maybe” Sunshine whispers while carefully pushing Aurora off of them a bit. “Mphf, I was so comfy” Aurora protests, but she sits up regardless. “Fine, let’s go to bed” she sighs.

Once back in, now their room, Sunshine gives her a random shirt and pair of shorts. Aurora cocks her eyebrow at them, “Pyjama, we sleep in different clothes than we live in during the day” Sunshine explains “Also that is probably not my shirt, we tend to just take each others clothes, so don’t worry about it too much” “Thanks” Aurora says, carefully sniffing the shirt, the smell was mostly Sunshine but had a vague hint of the smell of the ghoulette who was also there when she was summoned. She shrugs and changes into the other clothes. “We shall figure out this all better tomorrow, okay?” Sunshine suggests, seeing Aurora confused about seemingly everything. “Sounds like a plan” Aurora smiles, plopping down onto the bed. Sunshine joins her, laying down by the wall. “You can make yourself comfortable wherever you like” they say, half curling up. Aurora hesitates for a moment before she lays down and curls against Sunshine. Snuggling her face into their shoulder. Sunshine hesitates before they drape their arm over her and pull her closer to them. And curled up together, tails and limbs intertwined they fall asleep.

The next morning they are found like that, both smiling and snoring softly by Aether, who takes a picture to gush over later before leaving them to be. He is mostly just happy that the new ghoulette has found her place already.

#sunshine ghoulette #the band ghost #ghost the band #ghost band #ghost #nameless ghoulettes #cirrus ghoulette #aether ghoul #aurora #aurora ghoulette #aurora x sunshine #sunshine x aurora #imbus ghoulette #stratus ghoulette #ghost band fanfic #ghost fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #ghost band fanfiction #ghost bc

[minthe-lover]

Chapter 221 Anaylsis

I'd admit that most of my problems with this chapter are art related, so I'm gonna just skip over like 80% of my critics of that so It doesn't get repetitive. It's mainly just creepy hades faces, and awkward proportions that make him look like a lego figure in stop motion. Like look at this guy... he looks so awkward and... god his ass is really tiny.

Now the big art thing that I am going to talk about is how the simplified one colour and one note backgrounds has caused rs to basically shoot herself in the foot. Cause in the first few chapters the backgrounds where detailed enough that we could really visuals all the important areas. Artemis's house, Hades house and the underworld corp while we aren't given like maps of them but we have a good idea of the layout and space...

with persephone new apartment.. we don't get that. It's all this dark blue, we get one shot of the outside and then a few undetailed shots of the inside. How many rooms does this have, is it big or small? hades says it looks rundown... but why aren't we shown that? They leave the apartment to eat on the roof almost immediately, is that cause persephone doesn't have a dining space in her apartment.. it just reallys annoy me.

Then the next shot in what I thought was the apartment... was actually hades, I think this chapter would really really benefit from a few shot focusing on persephones apartment. If needed remove the whole 'joke' of the billboard and instead show up persephone apartment and have them eat inside to better show Persephones kitchen. Side note with how last chapter went... how is she gonna treat her neighbors...

Now I've said this before that I'll say it again I do like persephone getting her own apartment. It's a good idea not to have hades and persephone immediately be a married couple.. but I really wish rs did more with this. Persephone has missed out on far more then just owning her own apartment.. she only did at most a month of collage it would really help to show more that persephone is trying to be independent.

Now I just want to draw attention to this line.. and just the massive amount of disrespect it levels at hecate, while yes she was not technically queen.. but like come on hades. She's been helping you since you stared at king, she did most of the research and work in the last few chapters. She may not have shared the title but it's clear she was doing a fuck ton of work.

Lets talk about the most annoying line in this whole chapter! Just to make one thing clear persephone you where not coddled, you where a CHILD. Demeter was making sure you had an education and a safe place to grow up first before making you work! that is a completely understandable thing.. and the moment you were over 18 demeter let you go... she was worried for your safety in a world that has repeatedly abuse her and you've proven yourself in the past that you put your trust in the wrong individualizes.

You then had one conversation in ten years where demter outwardly praised out about how great you were doing… You didn't even talk about what you could do in the mortal realm. Before then you didn't have any experience and again were a collage student .. not exactly someone fit to step up to a important job like that… Like from the few flashback to the punishment.. it's clear you were struggling.

Also this line and how much it annoys me in relationship to demeter, because it's constantly brought up terrible demeter is for hiding stuff like the fertility goddess power from persephone as how she is bad and irredeemable... and when I was first read it I thought that is what it was referring to. I read it as people hid stuff from persephone to protect her... but persephone admiting that she understands it's a struggle, and that hades isn't a bad guy for hiding shit from her but you know her own mother doing stuff to protect her is a terrible person.

Now I want to get these analysis out before the next chapter does... so yeah this isn't as detailed or longer but.. eh.

#so yeah prepare for future analysis to take longer to come out #..... grandmother has cancer and it's difficult to deal with- #anyway hope you enjoyed this one! #anti lo #lo critical #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus

[solsdevblog]

2023 In Review

Hello hello everyone, long time no blog~!

Despite my lack of posting, I've made a lot of progress with not only Forget Me Not but also a couple new projects that I hope to crank out in 2024.

A big thing that happened to me this year was that I went back to school! I've talked about it briefly on other sites, but I've burnt myself out from doing art as a career unfortunately, so I went back to school for administration. At this point my main goal is to have a stable career that lets me do dev and art on the side.

Projects

The biggest news about my main, large project, The Mysterious Thief Forget Me Not, is that I finally finished the entire script! The total word count for it now is 87,663 words! I knew this was gonna be a big one but didn't realize it would hit almost 90k words.

I also managed to finalize all the cut-in assets, flat coloured every character sprite, and clean sketched + slapped colours onto every background and CG! We're in the final stretch, and I can safely say that 2024 is the year that you all finally get to meet these wonderful characters of mine.

I also managed to make rough outlines for two short game ideas that came to me this year! Admittedly my first one was originally going to be my entry in Spooktober 2023 but I felt intimidated by it and was also pretty swamped with school work so I set it aside for later.

The second game, however, is a shorter idea that I'd like to try and join this year's NaNoRenO with! It's been five years since I took part in NaNo (the first time was the very early version of Battle Live in 2018) and I've been itching to join again.

2023 also marked the 2nd half of the Battle Live 5th Anniversary Project. I'm really proud of all the drawings I made commemorating the cast and the games, but for now it's time to finally say good night to the OG BatLive games.

2024 Plans

I started Forget Me Not in July 2019, and after just about 5 years of hard work I'll finally be able to release it to all of you! It's been a long time since my last game release (Festival Live in 2019) so I hope you all enjoy the colourful cast I've put my heart into these past few years!

After that, I'll do my absolute damndest to crank out those two short game ideas I drafted. After spending 5 years on a single project I need some short stories to cleanse my writing palette.

In the background, however, I'll also be working on the rough outline of my next larger game (possibly two of them, but not at the same time I promise).

I'll also get back to posting a public dev blog every other month with my progress (while also posting extra ones over on ko-fi for anyone who would like to support me on there).

I hope 2023 was a good year for everyone, and that 2024 ends up even better.

See ya~!

~ Sol

#general blog #visual novel

[angkis]

I hope you don't mind, but do you have advices for other artists? I try to draw too, but my drawings never come out looking like the reference, like I'm unable to draw something alike Derek or Stiles, that's frustrating hahahaha

The colouring, the anatomy 😩 you are so fucking amazing!

Thanks for sharing your art pieces with us ❤️

First of all, I'm honored that you ask ME this question, because I'm not very confident (working on it 💫) and it's like a huge compliment that you would even ask.

Llike every other artist, you and me are both gonna be the biggest critics of our own drawings!! I just want you to know that before I say anything else! If you ever feel like you're not getting any better or not fast enough, take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, go back, look at where you started, it's only a question of time, you're constantly evolving!! <3 Be patient with yourself ~

I'm sure you were thinking of actual advice not the mental part, so I thought of some, but for real, most of what formed my art style (that is constantly changing and is gonna continue to change until I die 👁️👁️) was TIME. I don't always love to draw but when I have these periods of drawing a lot it's always because I'm hyperfixating on something, so finding something you can fall in love with and obsess over is gonna make time absolutely FLY BY.

Don't get discouraged when you're not nailing a character the first time you draw them. I personally only get it somewhat right at like the fifth try (funny enough I'm an impatient person but when I love something I seem to be able to be patient 💀💫) if anything Do it out of spite!!!!!!

Practice is a funny word, I don't like it because it seems like you have to know what you're trying to achieve if that makes sense. Maybe that can hold you back too. Drawing something and failing still counts as practicing. Finishing the best painting of your lifetime counts as practicing. Every time you draw you get better.

Ooooooh an interesting one that I only figured out this year: SPEND (if you can) MORE TIME OUTSIDE AND AROUND PEOPLE because your eyes notice lightings, movements, expressions, COLOURS that you then unconsciously (subconsciously?) keep in your head for later!! And when you are drawing you're gonna UNCONSCIOUSLY use that information??? It's wild (says the person who spent years barely leaving their bedroom) I'm not even exaggerating, my art got out of the blue so much 'better' (different) when I started leaving the house more often. (You might not have this issue tho!! 💫)

Also I started drawing when I was watching a lot of animated movies/shows and it influenced my art so much. When I got hooked on shows with live actors everything changed (again, your brain is putting away so many details for later) I started seeing anatomy more realistically.

One last tip before I stop rambling (and make another coffee 💫) Find a pen that WORKS FOR YOU. My stuff would look so much different if I was using different brushes than I use now. Try as much as you want! Do you prefer traditional or digital drawing? Both have cheaper alternatives (I understand this hobby is not a cheap one in general) I have a bunch of tips for Clip Studio Paint for example! Idk, let me know, I would love to show you my favourite settings that actually make my life easier!! ❤️

Sorry if I'm all over the place, I'm not too good with words 👁️👁️ I hope it's not gonna be like 'I really read all that for nothing' for you sgsggshshsgsh in which case I'M SO SORRY SFSGGGSGSGSG and again, thanks for your question!! I wish you luck!! Keep drawing!! You're gonna surprise yourself how far you can go I'm so serious!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[ultimatebabygirlsupremebattle]

Update time!

Just need 3 more unofficial sign ups and we reach the minimum requirement for the tournament, then we can open the official sign ups and get the ball rolling!

As things are right now the tournament can't happen, so! Just a reminder! If you want to submit transfem Leo art for the tournament it doesn't have to be something made specifically for the tournament! It can be art you posted last week, last month, last year, it doesn’t matter! Find your favourite and bring her so we can see her too!

And for those who do want to draw for the tournament, once the official sign ups are open they'll stay open for a week! So there's definitely some time to draw there! If you're unsure about if you can make it happen in that time but still want to try, you can always mention as much without giving an official submission and I can follow up with you when the sign ups close!

I've also had people ask about whether AUs are allowed and what type of art is expected, and I promise there's no limits there, as long as its transfem Leo it can be whatever you'd like! Any AU! Sketches, lineart, coloured, full backgrounds, it doesn't matter! We're here to share and appreciate each other and how cute transfem Leo is!

And, no ones asked about it but I wanna make sure we're all clear here, while a lot of the appreciation I'm showing here is for 2012 Leo, its not limited to that iteration, in fact I want to see more of the other Leos! Its so hard to find transfem art of the others, so if you've got them, bring them to the party too! Once again, the point of this is to share, so the more Leos the better! I love them all!

Another thing I'm thinking of doing during the tournament is some mini polls, no brackets, for specific things! It'll depend heavily on the types of submissions I get, but they'll be things like "favourite outfit" or "favourite mask tail style", so don't think the focus is just gonna be on the winner of the bracket tournament! (I'll definitely be open to ideas for those, but lets save that for after the submissions are in!)

I hope that cleared up at least some people's concerns, but if you have any other questions the asks are open!

#bracket tournament info #tmnt leonardo #trans leo #transfem leo #im seeing a lot of exclamation marks here and its a little embarrassing but im just excited! #i wanna show how excited i am about the idea of bringing people together with this!

[dearshelby]

Congratulations Lora! Love your writing!! Can I have "kissing the eyelids" with John pls? 💝

thanks, Gigi <3 There it is, hope you like it.

"Kissing the eyelids" + John Shelby.

"C'mon, love, just put her down." John tried to convince you to put little Amelie in the crib, but you knew she'd cry if you did and the new babysitter would arrive in a few minutes, you wanted to let everything quiet for her. 

"John, it's not that hard, I just need you to draw a straight line near my lashes." you argue.

"Give her to me and do it yourself." he put the eyeliner pencil down and try to take Amelie from you. 

"N-no, John! Stop it, you'll wake her up, take the pencil back, c'mon!" you whisper-shout. 

"Alright," he snorts, "are you sure you can't go without make-up?" 

"No! I go with this dress, that fur, arrive in a fucking Rolls-Royce and don't wear any make-up? What will everyone think?" 

"Fuck what 'em think." 

"No, c'mon, don't make me lose my patience." with a firm voice, you close your eyes and wait for your husband to do as he's told. 

Trying not to move under John's trembling hands, you purse your lips, he's doing well at the beginning, it's only at the middle of your eyelid that the line he's drawing starts to go down. 

"Up." you whisper and John shushes you. 

"I need to concentrate, wait…" 

"Don't poke my eye." 

You whine feeling the line going far way higher than it should. 

"There you go, you look like the girls from the flyers." John annouces and you open your eyes. 

"The girls from a circus flyer, you mean!" you complain of the terrible job John made. 

"Are you making fun of my art? C'here, let me finish it." 

Taking your lipstick from the dressing table, John colours the tip of your nose red. "There!" 

"I'll kill you." you jokingly threat, "We'll get late, I'll kill you." 

John bites his lip, aware that laughing loudly would wake up the baby in your arms, but he can't resist your annoyed clown face, he rushes out the bedroom and you can hear his laugh from the hallway. While he doesn't come back, you take a wiper to remove the silly make-up John made.

"The babysitter is here." John tells you when he comes back. 

"And I'm not ready yet." 

"Come here." he takes the wiper from your hand and cleans your face, "You can finish your make-up in the car, let's go." 

"I'm gonna look messy." you complain, rubbing your eyes.

"Let me do it then, I bet I can make an even better job with only one hand." John jokes and kisses your eyelids, "C'mon now, Tommy will lose his shit if we're late again."

1.2K FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION

#john shelby x reader #1.2k followers celebration

[sparkly-skies]

@mondscheinprinzessin "#<< and that's just where they're gonna stay forever#to the tune of jatp's unsaid emily | that's the soundtrack to your mind fics? what kinda sad stuff do you got up there?😭 (in which I mean, please share)"

I'm just gonna anwer that on this blog.

I wasn't thinking of anything in particular, I just thought "ah yes, the fanfic ideas in my mind, that's where they'll stay forever probably because I put off trying to write constantly", and then had that line with the melody in my mind and couldn't remember where it was from until I googled it. Have some Unsaid Emily for the crying of it:

Anyway, I still went through my notes doc and I can share some sad ideas if you want 😌

The main thing is still the "put Olli in a Dirndl and let him get harassed which then brings up a past incident he thought 'wasn't that bad' but he's still angry about it" vent fic one; I've told you plenty about that already I think, although I think I've maybe strayed a bit too far from what I originally wanted to write with that. Maybe I'll have to circle back to--- actually nevermind, I got confused and looked at my notes again and it does work like that, I just forgot part of why I wanted to put him in a dress in the first place. It works like that, please continue (me @ my brain). I'm still not sure how to get the comfort in there, sorry.

this one's hurt AND comfort, you could read it! I saw this prompt: - "Um, I know this might sound weird... but can you help me dye my hair? It would make me feel better." - "It's not weird at all. What colour?" and I don't have too specific ideas about it yet, but maybe something about Aleksi feeling torn about having "left" his solo career to join a band that's so different from what he did so far and thinking that maybe it would help if he tried to look more like he "belongs" there, so he asks someone for help dying his hair black the first time.

I think we also already talked about that one, or was that with someone else? - "I don't ever want to feel like I did that day again." Either someone (Olli? Tommi?) running into his shitty ex and telling his now-boyfriend they don't want to feel like they did in that relationship ever again; or a day one of them almost gave up on their music career because it was really hard and a shitty day came at the end of a shitty month and it seemed like they'd never make it anyway; or somewith with regards to past suicidal feelings and finally opening up to his friends about it.

Did you ever listen to Santa Cruz' Breathe? I did and it almost made me cry. It hits SO hard, like wth, losing friends and wondering how things would be if something would have been different? just rip my heart out, that would hurt less 😭

Hey, this is not necessarily a sad one! I wrote down "We're safe inside this Pandora's Box", which I've also had down to try to draw something for for ages now (in fact I think it was the first thing I wrote down for BC), and I have no idea for it at all, I just thought it could be a good title for a fic about how they (the band as a whole or a pairing of friends or a couple) are safe and happy with each other, they are each other's boxes to be safe inside and they'll be fine as long as they are there with each other.

and then there's also the one we've already talked about with Joonas or Olli going to visit his parents and immediately being treated like a child again in regards to... just about everything. Btw, the last line of the notes for that is "So many possibilities. Anyone hurt someone, please, thanks😊 - Laura"

#side note I still think it's weird that the police showed up with flashing lights to tell them their son is dead #anyway here you go let's see if I'll ever write any of those #i have an exam at 5 i need to get back to studying for that last minute because how else would I study #who are you people who manage to continuously steadily study and what are your secrets please share #fic talk #fic ideas #mine #mondscheinprinzessin #me? projecting? haha.. yes. #.... i went to edit one tag and saw there was a youtube tag added at the end #don't tell me tumblr now automatically adds that tag if you link a yt video

[mycptsdstory]

I have so many memories flooding all at once. This is what I hear;

You're never good enough

Stop acting like a baby

Why are you here?

No one loves you

No one wants you

You're gonna be alone forever

You're just a waist of space

You don't understand what people say, remember you are retarded

I don't know why I bother with you some days

You're just a nuisance

Can't you just shut up!

Ooommmggg!! No one cares about you!

I thought you've already ate. Why do you need more?

You don't need food

You're just gonna die alone, you better get used to it

No one wants you

Why do I bother talking to you?

You're unloved

You're not even wanted

Why do you have the capability to talk?

Omg, shut up! No one cares about you!

Can't you just die already

I'm locking you away because no one deserves to see that face

Why are you here again?

You're a disappointment to my family

Why are you wearing that? You look weird

Why can't you just act normal?

Omg, stop talking. No one cares!

You're just asking for it

Forgive [sperm donors name] because you need to talk to him, he loves you and I know you love him.

No one will date you

Omg look at your hair, it's such a stupid colour

Why do you have such a small nose? It doesn't fit your face.

Why are you wearing that? You're gonna stand out in church? Everyone thinks you're not my child

You don't need food, you just eaten yesterday

She's such an attention seeker

Stop lying!

I bet no one loves her

Ha! I'm glad she's alone, she fucking deserves it

Omg, your mother loves you. Stop trying to get attention

I made friends because someone hates your sister, so therefore I hate you (I never met that someone)

I hate your sister, so I hate you

Why do you have a voice?

Omg, your face is annoying

You don't deserve to be here

Why do you draw? You know you will never be good, right?

You need to be sectioned

Why can't they just throw you in the looney bin and forget about you?

You're crap at everything. I don't know why you bother sometimes

Your sister is always better than you

Stop asking about what this TV show is. Omg, you're so annoying. No one cares about you?

I don't need to tell you what game I'm playing. I don't want you to play, so I can find you. You're existence is already annoying enough

You will never be good at anything

Why do you even try?

Can't you just be dead already

Everyone is wishing you died already, just die already

You do know that, no one loves you

Why can't you be more like you're sister?

You're sister is beautiful, smart... You're just a blob

You don't fit in here. Why are you here?

Omg, can she shut up already? She's so annoying

Omg, why is she trying to fit in? She does know, that no one loves her

Ha! That's funny, everyone does want her dead!

Omg I know right, she's such a "try hard"

I bet, she's crying right now. What a fucking weirdo

I hate her, because of her mother

Ha! You get married, you're gonna die alone

I bet, she has no friends. Serves her right for her mother treating me like that.

Good, she deserves to have no friends. After what her sister did to me, she does deserve it

I bet the "rape" is for her to get attention

Her mother said that she doesn't understand anything, I believe her. I mean look at her, who wants THAT as a partner?

I don't understand why she hasn't killed herself already. No one wants her around

She's so delusional, I hope she gets locked away soon

Omg let's tell her, let's tell her that everyone wants her dead. That will make her kill herself. Then we will cry at the funeral and have a party later

Oh you're here. And, why can't you go somewhere else? No one wants you here.

Can't you just die already?

I hate you because of your sister

I hate you because of your mother

Omg, she's so stupid. Look at her crying!

I bet she's gonna die alone and it's her fault because she brought it on herself, her family hurt me. Now she's gonna pay!

You're so stupid, why are you here?

You are the most dullest person I know

Ha! Unintelligent little bitch, no wonder people want you dead

Why can't you be more like your sister?

I have a bf and you don't! Remember, you're die alone

Why are you here again?

No one wants you!

#cptsdhealing #living with cptsd #cptsd problems #cptsd thoughts #actually cptsd #just cptsd things #cptsd tag #tw cptsd #actually ptsd #cptsd vent #bad memory #bad memories #traumatic childhood #trauma #traumatic memories #memories

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In "Time & Again" #2: Gettin' Technical Here! 😁

Now, since all the vector prep is done, it's finally time for me to start actually drawing every single frame for Chapter 5!.. Just like that! 👇😁

Oddly, as I started drawing the frames for Chapter 5, I feel extra hyper but also very relaxed and blissful at the same time. Maybe it's nostalgia, for as far as I remember, in winter days I liked to enjoy drawing at home, in the warmth, watching the snow outside. Seems like the work on the artworks is going exceptionally well - much better than when I worked on Chapter 4. I'm excited to go forward with my crazy undertaking; but on the side, I have a lot of non-"Time & Again" ideas, and I revisit my old writings, hoping to find extra spark for the other universes and timelines I have in mind, and all of that powers me up. I feel very active and positive. Aaaah, dis is the season, innit?.. Here, on this side of the globe, winter is halfway on. In the end of the last week it snowed in neatly and almost evenly, and the birds on our balcony look all fluffed up and fidgety, waddling from one little foot to another to keep themselves warm while trying to unbury the birdy omnomnommies from under the not-so-giant-yet heaps of snow. The snow has melted a bit by now; I watch them through the balcony window, sipping on my Earl Grey tea every morning and throughout the day, and it makes me feel at peace, and yet a little sad at the same time. For if I had knitting skills, I would've supplied all those cute little sparrows and the peanut-hungry blue jay family with some nice sets of hand-made sweaters, hats, scarves, and socks. But alas, I can only do that in the form of artworks for now. But I digress. Back to my graphic novel now.

For those who don't know how I usually work on "Time & Again" - and I presume, that's what I'll keep doing for the rest of my comic-type projects, that is, if there's ever gonna be any more - I do everything consecutively, starting from the lineart (including the backgrounds, especially if the frame requires very specific placement of the character on the background, or they interact with it in any way), then I do the flat colouring, and then I go for the shading. And by that, I mean that I do all the lineart for all the pages first, then, once that is done, I switch to colouring of all the pages, and then, once that is done as well, I finally get to do the shading on all the pages. Told you, there's definitely a certain system in the way I work on my stories. This is also a reason why I never ever post updates page by page: because there's simply nothing to post, since they're all incomplete. Deal with it 😎 It seems that this manner of work suits me best. I'm not certain why, but I've never been keen on sharing the works that are half-done or something - although lately I'm going through a certain metamorphosis in this respect. Moreover, it is important to me to keep the same steady, precise, and classy art style throughout the chapter. Consistency is what I highly value in my creations. People, who also draw, have probably noticed that, at times, their art style might wiggle and be, let's say, all over the place - and sometimes this just happens on its own. I can't really explain this. This must be some sort of hidden mysterious consciousness of our pen/pencil that simply does things on its own 🤪. Sometimes our mood contributes to how the art style changes in tiny little details - at times to better, at times to worse comparing to what we strive to achieve. Through executing everything consecutively and finishing up the "chunks" of different types of work one after another, my goal is to avoid unnecessary and unwanted art style inconsistencies that might occur otherwise.

But enough of this lengthy preamble! Let's finally get technical, just as the post title announced it! I see you're getting bored... (no, wait, what do you mean it's just my neighbours snoring?.. I don't know what you're talking about)

This time, since I decided on making a regular page-by-page PDF version of the chapter as well as its scrollable webcomic doppelgänger, I needed to figure out how exactly to simplify my work in order to avoid accidental complications (here, almost a quote from a character's line from the current chapter, lol!). Of course there's no way I want to do the same amount of work twice just because I didn't anticipate the outcome correctly. Not to brag about it, but I must admit, as far as I remember myself - I've always been good at this. There's always a place for being extra technical when it comes down to the artworks. It's not as simple as it might seem to you. Deciding on the technical aspects of creating artworks is kind of a puzzle, in a sense. It's almost mathematical 😁

So, as you can see on the screenshot just a little above, that's a layout of a comic page (in the regular format for now). To make everything work out in a simple way in the end, I decided to create layer groups for every each separate frame (red markings) that will include everything I need for the frame: the lineart, the colouring, and the background. That will help me to just copy-paste a certain frame on the new canvas optimized for the webcomic format - and that is all! All done in a few clicks. Automation 100% 😁 (having Minecraft flashbacks now for some reason...)

All the text-related material (speech bubbles, the text lines themselves, and all the possible written sound effects such as "Swoosh!", etc.; the green markings on the screenshot) is currently included into one group above everything else. I've been importing these layers straight from Inkscape in PNG. But I started to think now that I need to separate those elements in the end, too, for further convenience and simplicity of arrangement on the webcomic format canvas. But that will be work for another day in the future.

In terms of memory usage, I'm not certain yet how it will go for me, for sometimes Krita would randomly crash on me without anything in the error log, and every additional layer adds to the memory usage even if it's near empty - finally, considering fairly large size of the artworks pixelwise, it all adds up pretty quickly. But I'm not exactly running Krita on a potato either (mmm, potaties 🥔🤤), so I think I should be fine.

Previously, perhaps counterintuitively - but again, it worked just fine for me back in the day - I used to create a giant layer with all the lineart for the current page, and then the flat colours for the entire page were stored on a separate "flats" layer, and all the shading for the entirety of the page was stored on its own separate "shading" layer, too. The same went for the backgrounds: depending on the pictures overlapping or not, I would've drawn all the backgrounds on a single layer called "BGs".

This approach would've not worked this time though.

In the lineart work, I'm currently finishing up page 9 already. ALREADY! 🥳🥳🥳 Which indeed sounds pretty awesome, because it just goes ahead steadily. That is, however, keeping in mind that there are frames that I just left out and skipped for now, for they require extra consideration. You see... Chapter 5 is going to have a peculiar scene - something that I've never ever tried drawing before just yet, and it's gonna be pretty long. It's fairly stretched out across a few pages and it's almost represented in a slower-than-real-life pace (surprise, surprise, isn't it what I usually do anyway tho?..). As I work on it, I wonder if it's going to be too boring for the readers. But I think the time will tell, for, once everything is done properly and in colour, it's gonna be much more of an eye-candy than it is now. I sometimes have difficulties approximating the end result in my head. But often it just turns out a little nicer than expected, which is a bonus. Because screw perfectionism; that's in the past for me 🤣 (true story! did NOT enjoy it! got out with minimal losses!)

... Since this post seems to be stretching out in time and space as well, just as the certain scenes I'm working on, I think it might be time to wrap it up for today.

Happy Halloween everybody! And I foresee significantly more sketches and screenshots in the upcoming posts! Take care! See ya sometime next week! 👋

P.S. And, of course, for a nice holiday treat, I made a Halloween artwork, again. And this time it's not that simple (and for a spoiler: this year it's not gonna have Cacodemons as pumpkins, nope): it also serves as the first teaser for Chapter 5 and the second half of "Time & Again"! So don't miss out on it 😉 You won't though, because it will soon appear in my blog!

#This Week In Time And Again #TimeAndAgainbyDWF #graphic novel #wips #krita

[scoobyscribbles]

Okay so the last batch!!! And ahhh I really like them!! (except for slasher >:(((() I’m also really proud of myself for actually finishing Drawtober because it’s been a good few years since I have! Anyways, thoughts n stuff about each piece below the read more!

Day 28 was Skulls and at first I was like, yeah, lets just draw bull skulls in the desert whooo, but then,,,, I had this idea! Big Demon Man with a bull skull for a head and dressed in a real dapper pin stripped suit. and oh do I love him! The colours n drawing in general turned out really nice in my opinion and i always love peppering the sky with dots from my shiny sparkle pen for stars! I also have a bit of lore/story for this guy! Basically the public think he’s really scary demon man who will steal your soul. he mostly appears at night and when you see him he’s just standing there, not moving, then you look away and he’s gone. But really he’s just big and shy and scared of people. Him just standing there is sorta like how as a little kid your convinced that if youre under the blanket and you don’t move the monster can’t get you. He’s scared of people so when he sees them he freezes and as soon as they look away he bolts. He also tends to only go out at night bc not as many people tend to be out at night and it makes it so he’s less likely to encounter them.  He’s large shy man and he’s great. 

Day 29 was Slasher and hnggggg i have such mixed feelings bout this one,,,, Before this I never watched horror movies bc I am a coward and remember hating them and being terrified but I watched one so I could like,,, draw it better and now my current hyperfixiation are slashers whoops (i still don’t like supernatural type horror movies but slashers are okay and fun) so anyways i have this drawing to thank for that. Another thing is i loveeeee the lineart for this piece!! The pose and stuff was *chef’s kiss* and i was so happy with it! But oof, the colouring is ahhh. I really dislike it. This one is the first one I drew and I have redrawn it two more times bc i really do love the pose I just hate the colouring. I still hate the colouring for the other two times. so oof. I had this really specific idea of like, reds and pinks and purples, but i am struggling. so yeah, lotta mixed feeling here. >:(((

Day 30 was Ghost! And I just had this real fun picture of a playful ghost just chilling and then i saw the Ghost Choir vids and i love them and their colour palette and boom, this was born! I really like how it turned out and honestly 10/10.

Day 31 was a Free Day! I really didn’t know what I wanted to do but ended up with this! And I am very happy with it! I love the heavy purple palette and the kitty turned out nice! Really happy with it!

So that was all of the drawings and overall I’m just proud of myself for finishing it! Some of these i’m stupid proud of and i just am :DDDD 

That’s all I guess!

Thank you!!

#drawtober2020 #inktober #art #my art #cowboytober2020 #sorta ish #seriously though that slasher one is frustrating me #i'm gonna draw it again and try to do better on the colours again lets hope i don't hate it again #overall this year's drawtober was a fun time though and i definitely need to actually colour my drawings more