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kojinnie · 3 years

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Something About Pain | Reiner Braun

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader (she/her pronoun)

Summary: You ran away from home and your boyfriend Reiner Braun is desperate to bring you home. When the two of you meet, you share a conversation about how pain inflicts the two of you differently.

Tags & Warning: Angst, (eventual) fluff, (mild) hurt/comfort, slow burn, major miscommunication problem, past trauma, abandonment issue, mention of anxiety, Reiner is a grumpy, hurt individual yet delicate inside | SFW

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: Based on the request by @okubean for Twisted Match-Up! I hope you like it, boo! (More A/N at the end of the fic)

.::My Masterlist::.

Twisted Match-Up (x Reader): Zeke | Hange | Jean

There was a vivid look of worry on the face of Reiner Braun as he drove through the empty neighborhood streets. His right hand on the steering wheel, the other one tapping anxiously on the phone, dialing the same number over and over again to no avail.

All of his calls had gone straight to your mailbox, and his text messages were no longer delivered. Reiner came to realize that you've blocked him. "Idiot," he muttered to himself, cursing this whole modern affinity to accommodate people running from their problems easier. Reiner thought the feature was the stupidest thing ever created by humankind, he was pissed, but more annoyed. He realized how tired he was, and if he could, he'd rather be in bed right now. Not roaming your friend's neighborhood at ungodly hour.

"Where... the fuck... are you..." he was pissed, evident from the grunt as he tried one final desperate attempt to call you. It went straight to your mailbox. Your cheery voice didn't make him feel any better, if any, Reiner wished he could tell the mailbox-you to shut the hell up.

Reiner finally hit the brake, sighing annoyed. His black SUV stopped underneath the streetlamp, at a random neighborhood he could only vaguely remember. He had been here before, when he picked you up from your bestfriend's house after one of your "night out" with your friends from college, but he could barely remember which one of these identical suburban houses did she live.

He rested his forehead on the steering wheel, racking his brain trying to remember the house number. Is this even the correct cul-de-sac? There are tens others. Who the fuck came up with the concept of suburban housing? Strips and strips of uniformed houses. And even worse, who the fuck thought that it was such a great idea to live in one? Like some Stepford Wives nightmare. Reiner couldn't believe some people would save up money for all their lives to pay off their mortgage to live in complete conformity, like a communist utopia with capitalist credit system. Were these people right in the head or had their brains fucked over by the boring 9 to 5 jobs they've had for decades?

That's beside the point. Reiner sighed. He ranted a lot when frustrated.

He knew you'd be there, in one of these houses, curled up crying in your bestfriend's bed, perhaps pouring your heart out on how much of a bad boyfriend Reiner was. He knew because you've passed the micro-aggression millionth times, muttering under your breath, saying that you'd be fine if Reiner kicks you out because your bestfriend would take you. What kind of fuckery was all that? Why would he ever kick you out? Reiner thought. He was clueless. Why were you so adamant that he would leave you eventually? Reiner could feel his annoyance grew while reminiscing your antics. He began to think, maybe he had never understood you to begin with.

But Reiner was wrong, because he was right about a lot of things about you. You were exactly in your bestfriend's house, curled up in her bed, ranting how hard it was being with Reiner. Although the tears had dried since hours ago. You were in your PJs and drinking the hot coco your friend had made you, comfortable in the bliss of obliviousness upon the fact that your boyfriend of one year was now driving aimlessly trying to locate your position. You were adamant that he was going to leave you anyway, you thought he wouldn't exert an ounce of energy trying to plea you home.

It was 4 AM in the morning and you hadn't come home. The trace of you had gone completely from Reiner's apartment since early morning. Reiner knew that this was bound to happen, had he done anything differently - would you stay? He thought of you and the state that the two of you had been tangled in. All the unresolved tension, or the persistent insinuations coming from you that you always shrugged off in the end, saying "Nothing." as if it did not matter, each time Reiner shot them with, "What did you say?"

You sipped your hot coco and let a troubled whimper as you told your bestfriend what was happening. It's the culmination of small things, your feeling of inadequacy and the anxiety of waking up every morning, being convinced that each day would be the day that Reiner finally leaves you. Every day you’d be mentally preparing yourself for the ultimate fate until Reiner returns home with his big, warm hug until your anxiety caves in. And that the anxiety would appear again in the next morning.

The idea of him leaving became incessant and you could never bug it off. You wondered why, maybe because you believed that you were inherently flawed. Maybe it's the way Reiner made that small "Tsk," when he came home to see the garbage piled up, "Babe, didn't I tell you to put out the garbage?"; or the deep, annoyed and condescending sighs he made when he missed his favorite show because you forgot to pay the cable bills while he was out at the office.

Maybe it's the way you couldn't match his sharp memory and reliability with you constantly forgetting things and your seeming inattentiveness despite the abundant reminders, notes and alarms you've made to keep yourself alerted. At times, your mind just wandered, and you needed him to rope you back in, but he never got the gist.

So, you were adamant that you had grown to be nothing but inconvenience for him, hence when he spent the night over at his office due to what he called "Shit load of work" over the phone, you were certain he wouldn't come back at all. You knew that the pain of being abandoned would haunt you to myriad of miseries, so you'd rather leave first. You knew it would be the end you both needed, because you knew Reiner did not care about you enough to tolerate your shit any longer. He was always quiet, there was hardly ever any expression on his face, God knows what he was thinking underneath. Each of your "Reiner, I'm sorry." would only be met by a singular hum or a quick, "It's okay." that left you wondering, did he ever mean it at all?

So that morning you left. While he was still at the office, because you knew there was no feelings strong enough for Reiner to keep him from leaving you eventually. You left first.

Your bestfriend nodded in reassurance, "You gotta do what you gotta do." she said pulling you into a warmly hug, but your attention was suddenly caught by the pile of plastics and packages from your take-outs at the corner of your friend's room. It just bothered your mind, and you got up to take it out. A small token of atonement to what you wish you had done to Reiner.

Your bestfriend immediately scrambled and took the garbage away from you. Insisting for you to stay in bed and let her take care of it. You nodded and retreated to the pillow fortress. You felt bad for her because the temperature was dropping, and there was no necessity to take the garbage out right now, but your impulse was often hard to subside, and your friend had grown to acknowledge and take sympathy over that. Unlike Reiner, you thought.

Maybe it's because Reiner never shown anyone openly about what he felt, but what you did not know, sometimes he wish he had. Sometimes he wished he'd opened up about how hard it is for him to breathe when unfortunate things occur that he did not have the answer to. Sometime he wished he could share his fear, worry, anger and disappointment, but he was always thought that a man got to suck it up, and perseverance was the only way he knew how to survive.

Sometimes he wished he had told somebody that the constant worrying about his loved ones consumed him too, to the point it became hard for him to let his guard down even when things are okay. He was always on alert, and sometimes it got exhausting too for him. He wished he had told all that, so in times like these he did not have to assume the heartbreak alone while trying to find the solution to it. Sometimes he wished people knew that he cared too, he loved too, he knew too when someone he loved was struggling, but he never learned how to show it. Reiner knew your mind often raced hundreds of miles per hour, Reiner knew your state of agitation, but he never had anyone to teach him how affection should look like, other than be of service, which he tried his best at being. It was no wonder that Reiner was left clueless when you chose to leave without warning.

He was pissed because he knew how daft he was, yet none of it was ever intentional. He cursed himself for not knowing what went wrong, for not being more observant, for not being open with his feelings, for not telling you how much he had grown to love you and how much his apartment immediately grew cold at your absence. But mostly, at this moment, he cursed himself because he wasn't attentive enough to know you friend's house number.

The air was crisp when your bestfriend stepped out of her porch. She made quick steps to the garbage can when she saw bright headlights coming in from the end of the street. She grunted, wondering what was her neighbor doing, cruising around with dramatically low speed. It seemed odd.

She put her fingers above her eyes, trying to recognize the plate number or the driver, but the black SUV lights were dispersing her sight.

She closed the garbage can and tried to immediately return inside but the car cruised closer and pulled over in front of her. The window rolled open.

"Hey," There was an immediate look of surprise from the person that Reiner barely recognized. But he was sure enough that it was her, judging from her body language; all tensed and alerted, "This is Reiner."

For a moment, there was an awkward silence between Reiner and your bestfriend. She was considering carefully on what to say next.

"Uhm yeah, I know." Your bestfriend finally spoke, her voice creaked, caught by surprise. "What do you want?"

Reiner spoke your name, "I want to meet my girlfriend." Reiner could hear the desperation in his own voice, but your friend jeered in response.

"My girlfriend." she passingly mocked the way Reiner spoke, she came to dislike what she thought was possessiveness in Reiner's nature of speaking, "She's not available. I suggest you to scram. Before my neighbors complain."

Reiner furrowed his brows in dismay, couldn't seem to understand the hostility presented by your friend, "I need to talk to her."

She stood unyielding. Reiner opened the door and climbed off of the car, sighing as he walked closer, propelling your friend to keep her distance away even further. "Please, let me talk to her."

"Not a chance." She turned around and scurried back into the house. Reiner was quick to yell, to her expected dismissal. Without thinking further, Reiner got back to behind the wheel and moved his car forward on to the curb, proceeding to close off the exit way for her small city car in the driveway.

Reiner jumped off the car as your besfriend realized what he had done, "I'm not moving the car until she comes down."

She let out a restraint shrieked, "What the fuck?! I got a dentist appointment tomorrow morning!"

"Then please, tell her to come down and talk to me," Reiner said, sounding almost apologetic. He threw a glance at a lonely swing set in the small park across the street, "there."

The occurrence happening before your eyes was unexpected to say the least. You closed the small slit from your bestfriend's window fold, trying to manage your heartbeat that had become almost deafening. At the same time your bestfriend appeared from the door, face red with flustered, "I think he really wants to see you."

Thousands of thoughts made a commotion in your head. It did not make any sense. You made it easier for Reiner by walking away with clean slate, you were sure this was what he had hoped secretly.

Your friend shuffled inside and shot you a deep stare, she sighed heavily and told you that whether you liked it or not, you had to face him. Reiner looked genuinely worried, she said, twisting your guts even further.

You sat in her bed for a moment, trying to relive every waking moment with Reiner. Sure there were moments when your own thoughts chased you into a deep corner and you wished Reiner had seen it. Sometimes you wished he’d hold you tight, kiss you with reassurance and told you how meaningful you were to him. Sure, sometimes being with Reiner could feel lonely, but he had never treated you back nor was he ever intentionally mean to you. What do I want? The question hung heavy in your mind.

I want him to say that he wants me, the voice within the nook of your brain said, I want him to say that he loves me.

You nodded, finally ceasing from running away further.

Reiner never thought that at his 20-something he would sit miserably on a random swing-set at a random neighborhood just an hour before the dusk cracked. Reiner was a big man, but even with his figure and the aid of his tailored suit and shirt, wrinkled after gruesome hours at work trying to keep his company afloat on the thin ice of his personal relationship with you – Reiner was tired, and miserable, and desperate. Even more, he was cold as the temperature continued to drop down.

He hung his head low, trying to fight the shivers. It was quiet, too quiet, only the faint sound of the wind and the creaking sound of the swing-set holding off to its dear life under Reiner’s massive weight. The man sighed, never he thought that the sight of you coming out of someone’s house in the dead of a night would be a spectacle he looked forward to the most.

He closed his eyes, shutting himself off from any sound and thought. Thinking that maybe in the bleakness of his sense, the time would pass faster and your heart would soften.

In the nothingness Reiner could feel a sudden warmth crept from the tips of his fingers, he opened his eyes to see you standing before his eyes, towering him who was sitting like a pathetic boy on the swing. You were wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe, hiding your PJs underneath. In your hands were two cups of scalding tea, you shoved one into his hand, “You came.” You stated.

Reiner let out a deep sigh of relief as he saw you safe and sound. He felt warmth travelled across his body, he did not know whether it was the tea in his hand or simply the sight of you that made him felt so. His eyes latched on to you as you sat on the swing next to him, “Hey. What are you doing?” Reiner asked.

“Running away.”

“Why?”

Reiner looked at you intently, and the guilt started to consume you. You gazed afar, softly shook your head, “Dunno.”

“I see.”

Yet another silence ensued.

“How’s work?”

Reiner sighed again; the heavy breath seemed to be the only way the two of you communicated. Just two troubled minds pouring their burden at each other, “Bertholdt abruptly resigned—fuck, it’s been a nightmare, but—” Reiner pressured his thumb over his brows, trying to ease his sharp migraine that suddenly came, “—that doesn’t matter now. Will you come home?”

He looked at you again, you were still gazing to god-knows-what, everything other than his eyes. Reiner grew antsy on his seat, the swing creaked again. Please look at me. Please look at me. The words resonated incessantly in Reiner’s head but nothing came out of his mouth. Just a stoic, to-the-point question.

Don’t you wanna know the problem, Reiner? Is that all? I said I don’t know and you didn’t even try to dig in deeper? You came all the way here and you just straight up asking me to go home with you? Your mind was nowhere better. It’s in uproar but there was only silence coming out of your mouth. But he came, he didn’t leave. Contradiction danced inside your mind like an unwanted guest.

The silence grew heavier. You saw the lights from your bestfriend’s bedroom lit off, she had got to be tired eventually. Suddenly, you felt so alone. Just the two of you in this odd morning.

“It’s hard, right?” Reiner broke the silence, he looked at you again, this time he was desperate for you to look into his eyes. Little did he know, you were refusing to do so because you could feel your fragility forming in your eyes. You swore not to cry.

“What?” Just a depthless answer you uttered.

“Growing up.” Reiner muttered. The man sounded almost contemplative in his defeat. He sighed again and shook his head, “I thought I’d be someone better by this time in my life.”

The answer surprised you. You thought he would say something like ‘Relationship is hard’ or some jargons he picked up from one of the movies he watched without you. You felt bad for undermining him just because you were upset with him. Does it really mirror your true perception of him? Maybe you really hadn’t known him that well.

You had no resolve to his statement, so you just nodded, allowing him to pour out his thoughts.

“I thought I’d be better with my job, with myself, and most importantly,” he shifted to lurch towards you on his seat, the wire strings of the swing twisted to your direction, “with the people I love. But obviously, I still… suck.”

“And here I am. 4 AM. A fucking adult on a fucking neighborhood swing-set.”

You could feel the air suctioned out of your lungs, as you felt guilt loomed bigger inside you. He came and he felt bad – what more could I ask for? But then you remembered the nights of loneliness despite having Reiner sleeping next to you. You had a bad day, but you were too prideful to come clean. You wanted him to be intuitive, but he never did. Being with Reiner, you had mastered the art of crying in silence while sharing the bed with him. It’s exhausting. Yeah, Rei, maybe you’re bad at this.

Despite that, you stayed silent.

“Will you hate me if I say I don’t know what’s wrong?” Reiner knew how daft he sounded, “God. I’m pushing my luck coming clean at you.”

You were at loss for words. You had so many things to say, but too few of a courage.

Reiner called your name. He reached over and tried to tangle one of your fingers with his. From your periphery sight, you could see him forcing a smile, “I—”

He sighed again. Reiner’s chest was filled with words and all he wanted was to vomit it out, but he never knew how to properly addressed the feelings he had—he couldn’t even describe what he felt. All he knew was one thing: he wanted you home, back in his arms, “I am a stupid man. I really don’t know what’s happening between us. You.. just.. gone. Please, just tell me what’s wrong. I’m not smart enough for all these..”

There was almost a childish plea in Reiner’s words, and you couldn’t help but to threw a faint smile. You chuckled, “What did you say? You’re—what?”

He scoffed at himself, “I am stupid.”

You finally caved in because you realized there was an undeniable genuineness in the way he spoke. And the sentiment was mutual, you felt stupid as well for you had not realized how completely, utterly, truly clueless Reiner was.

Eventually, you looked at him. His hardened face quickly turned wary to finally see how puffy your eyes were from crying earlier, you forced a smile, but it was clear you were pretending, “You make me feel so lonely sometimes.”

The words came out of your mouth like a canonball that had been stuck in your chest for too long. You felt relief, but on the other side, Reiner could feel his heart broke. A pain from a man realizing too late of the damage he had caused.

You thought of everything that had made you feel so. The way Reiner rolled over in bed away from you, drowsy and unaware, when you called him in the dead night as your anxiety kicked in; when his hand let you go as you tried to hold his hands in public; the complete non-existing mention of you in his social media; the take-outs that he mindlessly brought home when you had cooked dinner; his easiness in dropping a problem after he said sorry without checking up with you further.

It was the absent of his intuition that made you felt invisible – but you realized too late that maybe he was truly oblivious, evident as he said, “But how?”

“You really don’t know?”

“Babe,” he further tangled your fingers into his grasp. Your hand and his, they hung in the middle of the two swing seats, “I swear on my mother’s grave.”

“I’ve always thought you wanted to leave me but never got the right moment to it. The affection—I hardly ever got it from you. Not the affirming words, not the reassurance. Hell, maybe I want that public kiss and hugs that you thought was stupid, Rei. Just—”

You could feel the tears forming, choking you mercilessly, “—just to feel loved. To feel wanted. For once.”

You finally let your tears dropped. And Reiner was slapped with realities that both of you were in. He let go of your hand and stared down at the pavement, “I’m sorry. I never knew.”

“You never asked.”

“But I never knew. How am I supposed to know that I should ask when I didn’t know I should ask on the first place? I’ve always thought you wanted to be left alone when all your crazy thoughts come in—but you—”

“—you—"

Reiner groaned, obviously frustrated. He rested the blabber, “Maybe we’re just not good at this.”

Like a train, you could feel the ending coming to hit you. This is it. This is it. You thought to yourself, picturing how Reiner would finally leave you. You secretly wished Reiner wouldn’t give in, you wish he’d put up more fight, so at least you’d know that you carried a weight in his heart. But you knew this was bound to happen, so why were you so upset?

“Maybe.” You wiped your tears dry, “That’s okay, Reiner. I know that’s what I am.”

“What?”

“I’m just an embarkation point, right? Everyone will leave me eventually. That’s why I left, because I know eventually, we’ll be talking about this. So I’d better leave first.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Reiner grew even more frustrated with the way you danced around your words.

“It’s okay if you want to leave me. That’s what all people do to me.”

“You left because you think I was planning to leave you all along?” Reiner asked, sounding painfully offended as he finally got to gather what you were insinuating, “So that is the problem?”

“Yeah, so I better leave first, right? Before I get hurt again? Before you leave me like other people and—”

“Fuck other people!” Reiner raised his voice, which he immediately regretted. He ran his fingers over his hair irritated, turning it into a complete blond mess, “Are you trying to avenge your revenge for other people—those exes you’ve had—on me?”

Tears welled up again in your eyes, as you looked away from him. But he called on your name again, this time there was a deep sternness in his call that you couldn’t help but to face him. Reiner was glad that you finally gained courage to speak the truth, when he had not, “So you want reassurance, yeah? How about the times I told you how beautiful, how smart, how great you are – only for you to tell yourself the opposite immediately.”

Reiner looked directly into your eyes, “I can’t make you something you’re not. What you are is who you think you are.”

“You can never matter – if you don’t think you do.”

An expressionless, soundless tear fell onto your cheek. A heart broke to your dismay. Reiner finally said the truth and there was no way you could delude yourself into thinking that he was wrong, “Then… why don’t you just leave me, Rei? Why don’t you get rid of me a long time ago?”

“Because I’m giving you something that I never received in my entire life, ever. I’m staying for you.” There was a palpable pain in the way Reiner spoke. He landed his finger on to your heart and you could feel it pierced through your skin with heavy realization, “I’m staying. Like no one ever did in my life. Not my ex-girlfriends, not my friends, and certainly not my father. That’s what makes us different. I have more faith in you than you have in me.”

Reiner was a man with heavy heart. He had been through a lot of things in his life, learned how to fend on for himself since very young, and dreamed of the day when he could finally put his hair down with someone he cared for. And what you hadn’t realize, was how essentially similar you were to him. How both of you longed for someone to let go of your inhibitions and fear? Just two broken people finding refuge in each other’s longing for the same thing. And that’s what you failed to see. He understood you, just in a way you didn’t understand.

And that’s the thing about pain, they are inherently personal. No matter how much you have shared yourself to others.

The two of you went dead silent for a moment. In the horizon, the sun rays were starting to emerge, the morning had arrived. Your tears cascaded painfully slow; Reiner was looking at his feet trying to sip his tea that had gone cold. His hands were trembling with both sadness and anger that were beginning to secede.

Reiner finally called your name, this time it was delicate, “I’m sorry, alright?”

You looked at him with tears in your eyes as you nodded, “Alright.”

“Will you come home, now?”

“Yes,” you muttered, “I think I will.”

The two of you got up and Reiner immediately drew you into his chest, holding you the tightest you had ever been held, reconnecting all the broken pieces scattered inside you. You buried your face into his strong chest as you sobbed once more, while he kissed the top of your head with affection more vivid than thousands of words of affirmations.

“What do we do with these hearts, Rei?” You asked as you felt your chest throbbing with pain and love.

The man loosened his embrace and smiled, “Persevere.”

A/N:

First of all thank you so much to @okubean for giving me a hellish prompt! This one really made me faced my own abandonment issue and poured it into a writing. I tried to touch about the absent-mindedness as the implication of ADHD but I’m really worried that it doesn’t really do it justice. So hereby my sincere apologies! 😭🙏

Nonetheless, I really hope that you may enjoy this piece and I’m so sorry if it comes off as boring!

I literally drafted this on the metro, and got really carried away with it!

Did I enjoy it? (Yes)

Did this turn out longer than I expected? (Yes)

Am I worried this will bore people? (Yes)

#reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #reiner fluff #reiner angst #aot reiner #snk reiner #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan fanfiction #aot #snk #aot fanfiction

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rogue-barnes-16 · 5 years

Text

YOU'LL LEAVE TOO

Summary: The aftermath of Thanos and the snap left the Avengers destroyed, and one by one, they leave the compound in order to find themselves. Natasha realizes everyone would eventually leave her behind, so she does her best to make things easier for Y/n.

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader

Genre: angsty

Tags:

Natasha Romanoff: @5aftermidnight

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl l @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms s @pizzarollpatrol l @bubblycypress87 7 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack k @butifulsoul125 5 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, angsty shit

A/N: ——————

"New Asgard?" I questioned, looking at Thor quite confused. "That sounds... Kinda difficult." I stated, resting against the wall as he picked up his things.

"It will be, but I have the help of my people." he stopped his motions and a blank stare emerged from the depths of hid mourning. "or what is left of them..."

In that moment, Natasha showed up, bringing with her five dishes for us to be able to serve whatever she had been cooking a few minutes ago. "Where are you going?"

"Norway." I replied with my arms crossed, observing how the redhead slowly put the dishes down on the table. "gonna fund New... Asgard."

"Oh..." a sad look made its way to the blond woman. "Uh... Would you need help? We could lend a hand."

"It will be alright." Thor replied, politely turning down Natasha's offer. "I have Brunnhilde there." he grabbed his things gave us both a hug. "I will come visit as soon as I can."

Natasha formed a small smile, which suppressed her melancholy, in order to give Thor a nice goodbye.

As he left, I peeked, concerned, at the woman besides me, who hugged her arms staring at the dishes with lost eyes. "I'll put one back."

"Make it two." I mumbled. "Rhodey's staying in California for another month."

Natasha nodded, retired the pair she had been told to, and walked away in complete silence.

I exited the stance right after her, and made my way to the open concept kitchen, just to find Natasha sitting in one of the stools with her chin laid on her intertwined knuckles, her elbows resting over the counter.

"Nat..." as soon as she heard my soft whisper, she wiped away the tears I didn't notice that had started to be spilled from her green eyes.

"Yeah?" she looked over her shoulder to face me.

My first intention was to ask her if she was okay, but that question had already been answered, so I walked over to her and placed both my hands over her shoulders, squeezing them softly. "I'll set the table, go to the couch and chill there for a while, alright?"

One of her hands went up to grasp one of mines, her head slightly tilted to that same side as she nodded. "Alright." She lifted her gaze to stare at me, to which I responded with the warm smile she needed. "Thank you, Y/n."

I dismissed her gratitude with a shake of my head, switching places with her, and due to the sadness I was so bad trying to hide, I almost missed the way her hand briefly brushed mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was sketching Steve while he was working, when Natasha came into the room, chatting with Bruce.

"If you ever need anything," she started, handing him the bag he had left in the facility the day he had moved out.

"I won't hesitate on telling you, I promise." Bruce finished with a bittersweet smile on his face. "take care Nat."

Steve and I both waved him goodbye; Natasha just stood still, her arms crossed, for a couple of seconds before grabbing her ballerinas and leaving to train.

"She's doin' it again." Steve stated concerned in low voice, his gaze leaving the laptop for an instant to observe the door through which Natasha had walked away.

"Can you blame her, though?" I questioned rhetorically, my eyebrows raised at the blond man in front of me.

"You should check on her." Steve suggested. "she opens up with you more than with me." he explained before I could even formule a single question about why should it be me.

"Don't think she needs to open up." I replied, redirecting my attention back to the sketch. "She's gonna miss him, just like she misses Tony, just like she misses Rhodey and Thor." I placed the pencil over the sheet of paper and took a second before saying the following words. "just like we miss 'em all."

Steve let his face fall on his hands in defeat as that dreadful silence reigned in the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'll keep some things here, though." Steve informed us, picking up the car keys from the table. "If you don't mind, of course."

"don't be an idiot, will you?" Natasha spoke with a half smile on her face. Steve chuckled and pulled her into a side hug before she pecked his cheek. "Take care, Steve."

It took us a hot second to even move from our original positions after our blond friend had left our so-called home to move to an apartment in Brooklyn, when he wouldn't have to deal with the guilt and the regret echoing through the immense halls and countless stances.

Natasha was the first one to leave the room, numbly grabbing her ballet shoes to make her way down the hallway to reach the gym.

I was just not as fast, but soon i decided to follow that advice Steve had given me not so long ago and go check on her. Maybe she really didn't need to open up about anything, maybe she only needed a shoulder to cry on.

Assuming that Natasha would have already started a routine, I didn't rush to reach the gym at all. However, to my surprise, when I got to the entrance, I was greeted with the view of the woman sat on a bench,sniveling while hugging her sides, the ballet shoes on and her two-toned hair covering her face.

Whatever I had been holding inside was triggered by that sight, and flooded out in the form of painful tears that seemed to burn my skin. "Hey..." she only shook her head shortly, yet vigorously, as I approached her. "Hey." I repeated, kneeling in front of her, my hands holding both her cheeks. This time she did look at me trough bloodshot eyes that most likely mirrored mines. "It'll get better, I promise." She sniffed and I pulled her into a hug, which acted as a perfect substitute for the kiss I was dying to give her. "You still have me here, and I'm not leaving alright?"

She nodded, burying her face on my neck, where I felt a feather kiss. "Damnit, I was dying to get rid of you." Her voice was weak but playful as she pulled away. "You're a pain in the ass." I chuckled, brushing my thumb over her cheek to wipe her tears as she did the same with mines, lovingly. "But you're my pain in the ass, right?" Her hand rested over my cheek, her green eyes flickering to my lips before coming back to mines, desperately looking for the answer she needed to her question.

"Damn sure I am." I replied, getting up with my eyes fixed on her. "Were you gonna start a routine?" I questioned, running my fingers through her hair as she leaned in to rest her forehead against my stomach, nodding as a response to my inquiry. "I'll braid your hair." She mumbled a 'thank you' whilst letting her hands linger on my outer thighs just a little bit more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late night when I noticed Natasha was no longer on the other side of the bed, her place to sleep for a couple of months by now.

I looked for her first in the gym, then outside, in the rooftop garden where she would sometimes go. After not finding her there, I decided to make my way had become her office. Maybe Rhodey or Okoye called, or maybe Carol and Rocket had updates on anything.

She was all alone, sat in her chair.

"What's wrong?"I asked, resting against the doorframe.

"You'll leave too." she stated, trying too hard for that beautiful smile of hers to stay in her face while she looked at me, which she wasn't being able to achieve. "and that's alright."

"Nat please, please don't cry." I begged, leaving the door frame in order to reach her sitting on the chair. "why- I'm not leaving, I promise, please don't cry."

"God I'm sorry." she took a deep breath in order to calm herself down. "I promise it's alright, you gotta get yourself a life, it's just late and" she scoffed, rapidly wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I think I'm having a mental breakdown" she tried to laugh it off but I was too concerned to fall into laugh with her, no matter how contagious that melodic sound was. "I promise it's alright, Y/n."

"I'm not leaving you." I replied, kneeling in front of the redhead when she slowly shook her head, averting her eyes from me. "Natasha, why on earth would you say that."

"I'm just trying to make it easier for you." She replied, shrugging. "I don't want you to feel bad, I'll get by just fine." tears were spilled again, jumping off her bottom eyelids. "I promise." her breath was ragged, and my eyes were getting watery. "I'm sorry for keeping you here all this time, I really am." She shook her head, her lower lip quivering and her eyes shut.

"Nat–"

"I'm so sorry..."

"Natasha, please, look at me." I lifted her chin, obliging her to stay eye to eye with me. "You're not making me stay." I brushed her hair off her face and said fuck it to second guessing my words about my feelings. "I'm staying because I love you, because you make this feel home even if it really isn't, I'm staying because everything feels less awful when I'm with you, because-"

I completely missed the hopeful glimpse in her eyes before she, as fast as a lightning, threw herself off the chair, her lips attaching to mines in a kiss that, despite the innocence it carried, took my breath away.

"I love you... I love you love you." She whispered, her eyes closed and her forehead resting against mine, now both of us kneeled on the floor.

"Yeah?" I questioned, intertwining my fingers with hers as she nodded slowly. "I love you love you too."

"I know, dumbass." She replied with a smirk on her face that I could see after I pulled away. "That's why I kissed you." I shook my head with a smile on my face, wiping my tears away. "Are you stayin?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You're such an oblivious idiot when it comes to me, Romanoff." I stated, getting up and pulling her with me. "Let's get some sleep alright?"

"Alright." She answered. Holding my hand and pecking my lips before following me back to our room.

#natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fic #marvel one shot #marvel imagine #marvel wlw fic #natasha romanoff wlw #wlw fic #wlw marvel #bucky barnes x natasha romanoff #romanogers #brustasha #marvel miniseries

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xelles-archive · 4 years

Text

Her Cure

➥ Peter Maximoff x Self-insert

➥ Genre: Fluff with a bit of venting

➥ Summary: Peter comes to his girlfriend's house, but wasn't expecting to see her with a down mood.

➥ Word Count: 3.3k

➥ Warnings: Don't read if you don't like sharing Peter as an f/o. This is super, SUPER self-indulgent, so please don't send any hate.

➥ A/N: I'll be using she/her pronouns in this story because I still haven't gotten used to writing myself as 'they' in stories. Also, Peter's little sister's name isn't confirmed. It's just a headcanon of mine that her name is Lorna.

➥ Tags: @nougatships @just-sinag @selfshipping-port

The ringing from the alarm clock on Peter's desk was the very first thing that welcomed him into this new day, but the repeating, annoying sound was immediately dismissed when he slammed his hand on it. He nearly punched down the whole thing due to his pressure. He groggily sat up on his bed and harshly rubbed his eye. "Agh!" He groaned, getting weird glitches in his vision. That didn't stop Peter from doing his routine though, as it quickly disappeared, too.

He went to his closet and changed from his pajamas to his casual wear. The classic black band t-shirt and silver leather jacket. He dashed upstairs once, then came back to his room and grabbed a comb to brush his hair. "Hell yeah, you're looking great." He clicked his tongue and pointed finger guns at himself in the mirror. He finally went upstairs, for real this time.

He was met with his mother cooking breakfast, and the smell of eggs and bacon rose to Peter's nostrils, making him inhale the precious scent. It was a classic breakfast, and he can't wait to eat it.

Finally, after a minute or so, Magda noticed his presence. "Oh, Peter! I didn't notice you there." She looked behind to give her son a bright smile, which he nicely reflected back. "Oh, well, ya know. Just doin' things as fast as I can." Peter shrugged his shoulders, as the sarcasm in his line of voice made the woman giggle. The wide smile stuck on her face as she went back to cooking. "It's almost finished. Maybe you could wake up your sister for the meantime."

Peter nodded in response, and even though his mom wasn't looking, she knew he already obeyed what she said. It's one of the good sides to his mutation.

Not even a minute has passed, and the young boy was already back to his previous spot. The mother looked at him in confusion and opened her mouth to ask, but Peter already knew – almost like predicting it — what she was supposed to say. "She's dressing up. Don't worry."

She smiled again, and expected nothing more or less of her son. When was there a time without Peter ever lightening up the mood? She doesn't remember at least one moment when it felt boring in the house, well, probably except before Peter came.

But none of that matters, as they're all together now.

Soon enough, the youngest member of the family came down. "Hey there, lil sis." Peter greeted his younger sibling, who seemed to be still sleepy. She yawned quite loudly and nearly fell off when she climbed up on the chair. Even with the lack of response, the cute little scene that occurred in front of him made Peter smile. "Still sleepy, huh?" He mocked.

Lorna merely hummed and nodded her head with her eyes still fluttering open. Their mother turned around with two plates in her hand, scooting them over to where Peter and Lorna were sitting. Both of them childishly eyed the well-done dish, their mouths watering in hunger. "Well then, let's dig in." The woman clasped her hands together, and the small family grabbed their respective utensils to start eating.

In just a blink of an eye, Peter was munching down on the food. Maybe too fast. Not even having a single bite, Magda placed down her spoon on the plate. "Peter, slow down." She remarked, quite calmly in fact. As a mother, she had the right to be concerned of her children's intentions.

"Hm?" Peter looked up from his plate, and when he saw the disapproving look on his mother's face, he gulped down the food as hard as he can. "Sorry." He raised his hand as a sign of apology.

A gentle smile replaced the frown on her face. "What's with the rush? Do you have a date?"

Lorna nearly choked on her food as soon as their mother ended her statement. She placed down her utensils and looked over to his older brother with excited eyes. "You're going out with Xelle again?!"

"Whaaaaat?" Peter scoffed. "Noooo." He waved his hand, rolling his eyes as he did so. "I'm just gonna visit her house, that's all." He was supposedly going to continue eating, but Lorna still had more questions. This little girl was always excited when it comes to Peter's girlfriend.

"But it's still considered a date, right?" She raised her eyebrows, awaiting for her older brother's response. Peter opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then opened it again with a cocked brow. "I guess? I mean, we're still going out, so yeah, maybe it's considered a date." He just shrugged it off as he grabbed his glass of water to drink.

Lorna squealed, shaking her arms in excitement, and even rocking her legs back and forth under the table. "Ooooh man! I can't wait to have my sister-in-law!"

Even one single word could cause everything to crumble. Their mother had been listening to their conversations at the start, but she wasn't expecting to hear such words from her daughter. Her eyes widened, while Peter spat out the water he was drinking. Magda quickly scolded him for making a mess in front of them. But then, it's gone in an instant. The table looked clean again.

The mother anxiously looked over to her daughter, giving her an uncertain smile. "Maybe that's too early for your brother, dear."

Tilting her head in confusion, she asked another question. Oh, how different the circumstances will be if Xelle was here right now. She could have hushed the young girl, at least. "Why? Is he not old enough to marry her?"

"Okay, Lorna, I'm only twenty years old." Peter suddenly intruded in the conversation as he wiped the excess liquid on his face. "Plus, I still got college to catch up to. I don't wanna rush things."

Their mother laughed at him. "That's funny coming from you." It took a while for Lorna to register the joke, but even Peter's humor was fast enough for him to understand. He didn't even realize he was making a joke, yet he still laughed along. "Hah, real funny, Mom. Anyway, I gotta go." He took one last bite from his food before dashing off, probably to Xelle's place.

Neither of the two females were able to say something before he left. Magda's eyes brought themselves to check Peter's plate, and she was not happy to see it. She frowned, and even if she knew he wouldn't hear her, she shouted out his name.

He suddenly appeared in the dining room again. "Sorry. Again." He gave his mother an apologetic smile as he grabbed his plate and washed it really quickly. He made sure he got to say goodbye properly this time.

Magda released a sigh. "I sure do hope I'll get a daughter-in-law, too."

The young girl smiled widely at her mother. "So you agree with me!"

Arriving in his girlfriend's place, Peter was refreshed to see the familiar green plants in her tiny little garden. With all the flowers and succulents, her house looked adorable. Thank heavens her father allowed her to live alone. He's been here multiple times already, mainly for checking up on her and taking her out on dates, but when he saw somebody on her doorstep, he stopped in his tracks.

It looked like a woman. Well, at least to Peter. She had long brownish hair and wore fancy clothing, she even had a purse dangling from her arm. There stood Xelle in the doorway, a clear frown on her face. Peter furrowed his eyebrows in worry as he watched this lady talk to his girlfriend. He couldn't hear what they were saying from this distance, so he just stood there. Besides, it was only a few steps away.

A few minutes had passed, and the lady finally turned around and entered her car, which was parked just outside. Peter pretended to walk as a passerby when the car zoomed past him. He looked behind him to check the plate number.

Xelle didn't even bother to look after that lecture from her stepmother. She ran her hand over her hair, tugging on it out of anger, as a long, sad sigh escaped from her lips. She had been fighting off her tears while she listened to those harsh words. She always thought of herself as a crybaby, and now that she finally has some time alone, she closed the door.

"Ow."

Or maybe not.

The female looked at her door, making an assumption that someone was behind it. She looked down at the ground, catching a glimpse of that silver-colored shoe she always recognized, stuck in between the door frame. She immediately opened the door, and to no surprise, she was faced with her boyfriend.

Peter waved his hand as a cute smile was embedded on his face. He didn't even need to say anything and Xelle already found herself smiling again, even the slightest. "Hi, Peter."

That was highly unusual. She'd usually jump at him for a hug or smile widely at him. The young boy noticed her change of behavior, the smile on his face disappearing. "You okay?" He brought his hand down.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She responded, turning around as she allowed Peter to come inside. He was polite enough to remove his shoes and set it aside before actually coming in. He closed the door and followed Xelle into the kitchen, which was just beside the living room.

Washing dishes, once again. Never the same, never different either. Peter watched her fingers gracefully slip past the smooth plates and place them down on a dryer. It was a weird thing for him to observe, but he loved every little thing about her. He can't resist himself.

Xelle was finally done with the dishes, dabbing a towel on her hands to get rid of the wetness, when Peter suddenly appeared beside her. He leaned onto the counter as he smiled at her. "So who was that lady earlier?"

Bringing her gaze to him, she raised an eyebrow at him. "What lady?" She asked as she hung the towel on the fridge's handle. "The lady you were talking to in the doorway." Peter responded, tilting his head while he awaited for her answer.

Xelle narrowed her eyes at him. "You were eavesdropping on us?" She asked in disbelief. The male in front of her widened his eyes and awkwardly laughed. "What? No. I just saw you talking with her." He stood up straight, placing a firm hand on her waist and bringing her over to him. Their bodies ended up colliding each other as their eyes focused on the ones in front of them. "You know I wouldn't lie to you." He pushed back a strand of her hair behind her ear.

She smiled at him, genuinely this time. "I know." As she thought the heavy burden in her chest was finally going to disappear, it just came back again. The corners of her lips deepened themselves into a frown, and to prevent Peter from seeing it, she pushed herself away from him. "But you don't need to worry about her. She's just my stepmother." She walked away into the living room.

Peter was, at first, confused why she suddenly distanced herself like that. The biggest thing that confused him was the stepmother. "Wait, stepmother? You have a stepmom?" He questioned as he followed her path.

"Yeah," she plopped down on the couch, "she and Papa didn't last long, though." Grabbing the remote control, she turned on the television. Her arm was laid out on the couch's backrest while her other one faced the squarish electronic. "But like I said, you don't need to worry about her." A few static sounds were brought to life until she stopped to one channel.

Even if she says that, of course he's still going to worry. Xelle was acting strange and he was not liking it. He pressed his lips into a thin line, shaking his head and stepping towards the couch. "Do you really think," he started as he sat beside Xelle, "I would believe that when you have that look on your face?"

Xelle brought her gaze to him and slightly tilted her head. "What do you mean?" In a flash, the remote control in her hand was gone. She looked at the absence of the object for a quick moment before she looked at Peter, who now had the remote in his hand, with wide eyes. "You know what I mean." He turned off the television and set the remote aside.

The short-haired female merely stayed silent and stared at him with uncertainty, this lack of response made Peter cross his arms. "C'moooon. You can't keep hiding things from me." He cooed a bit teasingly.

She knows she can't. He could always tell when something is bothering her, and that's why she still loves him to this very day. It's one of the biggest reasons why she's so happy every time she's with him. She took one deep breath before crawling over to Peter, to which took him by surprise. "Oop-" He yelped as Xelle pushed him down on the couch. She somehow got in between his legs and made herself comfortable to lay on his chest.

The adorable sight that took appearance in front of Peter's eyes made him chuckle out of amusement. He wrapped his arms around her and smirked down at her. "What, we're just gonna cuddle without even telling me what the problem is?"

Xelle giggled in response. As soon as her light laughter died down, her eyes wandered off to somewhere. "It's just…" She started. "Sometimes it's hard having alexithymia."

"Alexi- wha-" Peter narrowed his eyes, but it didn't take him long to realize what she was talking about. "Ohh, right. Alexithemic."

"Alexithymia." She corrected him.

"Right. Yeah."

She couldn't help but to at least smile at his silliness. "I don't know, it's just, it's hard expressing my emotions." The weight on her body — even though nothing was on her — felt heavy, as she found herself sinking deeper into Peter's embrace. "Especially since I don't have the confidence to speak up." Her hands gently hovered his shoulders. "I mean, it's not very severe, but it's, it's still difficult. It causes misunderstandings."

"Your emotions seep out a lot to me, though."

Xelle brought her eyes to look at him. He had that adorable little smile and raised his eyebrows, as if he was trying to prove what she said was wrong. "I could tell that you're sad, and…happy, oh, and…angry?" His statement sounded so unsure, but that somehow still made her laugh.

That's all he wanted to hear, after all.

A tiny chuckle is enough to relieve him that she's doing fine. He doesn't really consider himself a good person to ask for advice, but if Xelle sees him that way, he'll try the best he can.

Peter caressed the top of her head, despite the shortness of her hair, he wanted to get a better look on her face. "I'm kidding. But what makes you say that?" He tried to continue the conversation.

"Well, you saw my stepmother earlier, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She fiddled with her fingers and lightly clasped them together as she tried to find the right words to say. Peter could sense a bit of hesitance from her, but nonetheless, he waited for her to speak. "We kinda got into, uh, we got into an argument because I didn't get to say I'm sorry." Fully clasping her fingers together into a tight hold, her breath hitched for a quick second. "It's, it's one of the things I hate about myself."

Xelle was supposed to bury her face on Peter's chest out of the shame, until she felt sudden movement and had no choice but to look up. "Heeey." Peter pushed himself up with his arms and stared down at her. "Just because you didn't get to do something you want doesn't mean you can hate yourself." He said, receiving an astonished look from his girlfriend.

He didn't know what he truly meant, but he was saying it from the heart. He knew how it felt like to hate yourself for the things you do. He just didn't want to see the sweetest girl he had ever met do it to herself, too.

"I mean," his eyes looked everywhere before quickly bringing themselves back to Xelle, "you were considering the fact that you should apologize to her. That already makes you a good person, right?" He attempted to reach out to her face and caress her cheek with his thumb. "Besides, if you hate yourself, I'm hating myself, too."

Eyes burning up in tears, Xelle found herself melting into Peter's touch. A silent weep escaped from her lips, and as she couldn't bring herself to speak up, she just nodded her head in response. It was so easy for her to tear up, and yet Peter doesn't mind any of that. As soon as he saw her crying, he brought her into a hug. At moments like these, it felt like her alexithymia was gone.

Peter was her cure.

What sounded like sniffs turning into sobs eventually took over the conversation as the couple found comfort just by being in each other's arms. Peter gave her the time to let out her tears, giving her occasional back rubs and gripping onto her like he didn't want to ever let her go. It always hurt him to see her like this.

When her tightened posture finally loosened up, and her breath seemed to slow down, Peter also found himself finally calming down. It almost felt like their heartbeats were synchronized, being so physically close to each other gave them more of a chance to be connected.

Just as Peter opened his mouth to speak, his ears was met with something he never expected to hear on a day like this,

"I love you."

His eyes widened. "What?"

"I said I love you, Peter."

Did she really say that? She never voluntarily says 'I love you' to anyone, including Peter himself. Did she just really say 'I love you' to him?

"I- Wow-" He stopped himself mid-sentence as he chortled. Xelle pulled herself away and took a glance at her boyfriend's shocked expression. The corners of her lips brought themselves up to form a smile as she breathed out a laugh. "What, you're not used to it?" She teased.

"Yeah, well," Peter shook his head, "you never say those three words to anyone." He spoke through gritted teeth. Xelle's chest felt lighter as she released another hearty laugh. That laugh of hers that always gets Peter's head in cloud nine. It's something he always treasured, and now that he heard it again, he almost flinched when he felt her hands fondle with his cheeks. "Then consider yourself lucky." She placed a peck on his nose before nuzzling her face in his neck.

Peter was left speechless, his mouth slightly agape, after that unexpected occurrence. That quick nose kiss made his heart skip an extra beat. He was weak for those types of kisses. He doesn't know why, but he always gets flushed and hot when he receives affection from Xelle — let alone her rare, peculiar, wholesome behavior.

He was going to wrap his arms around her, when an idea popped in his head.

"Hey, you know what?"

She hummed in response, staying in position.

Peter grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her away, grinning widely at her.

"I love you too." Using his superspeed to his advantage, he showered her with lots of kisses on her face. To Xelle, it felt like she was being tickled. She laughed out loud as she tried to cover her face from any further kisses, but they still kept coming. Overwhelmed with the amount of love she's getting, she just slammed her hands and managed to catch Peter's face, finally closing in their distance and placing a firm kiss on his lips. It wasn't long enough before he gave in and returned the pleasure to her.

At this moment of time and day, Xelle feels content with everything that involves Peter.

#xelle.content #selfship con 2020 #self ship con 2020 #wooo this will be my first contribution for the con!!#i have more drafts to post so idk maybe look forward to that??#i plan to give imagine scenarios to y'all so :eyes:#👣 gotta go fast #s/i: kryxelle xavier

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nicolewoo · 4 years

Text

Meeting Joe

Pairing Joe Anoai X Reader.

Warnings: none. This is pretty darn fluffy.

I had just gotten to the arena when I spotted red hair down the hall a bit. I slipped behind Becky and tapped her shoulder lightly. With a start, she stopped her conversation with Colby and turned around to see me standing there. She immediately screamed in delight and we fell into a great big bear hug.

“Bloody hell! What are you doin' here?” Becks asked as she pulled back to look at me.

I grinned from ear to ear. “I got called up.”

The news sent Becky into another bear hug as she said, “Why didn't you tell me?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” I pulled away from the hug and smiled at her.

She placed her hands on my arms and looked me over. “Never had a better surprise!” She smiled. Our glee was interrupted by Colby clearing his throat. A look of slight panic ran over her face as she realized what she'd said, “I mean, except for the day you proposed,” she said to him as he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Colby, t'is is Y/N. My very best friend from mah indie wrestlin' days. Y/N meet my fiance Colby.”

I was totally fangirling inside, but I managed to keep my calm as I shook his hand. “Oh, you're THAT Y/N?” he quirked an eyebrow at Becky. “I've heard all about you,” he smiled back at me.

“Whatever she told you,” I paused for effect. “It's probably true.” At that Becky and I both bust out laughing.

“Come on. Come on. We've gotta catch up.” Becks said grabbing my suitcase and heading down the hall with me in tow. “We can share my dressing room tonight.” She was walking so quickly down the hall that she didn't realize the puzzled look Colby shot her as he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Um, Becks.” I called to her from a few steps behind her. “I think we broke him.” I said turning back to Colby.

She turned to see the look on her fiance's face before realizing what she'd said. “Oh, Yeah. Sorry babe,” she reached out to grab his hand when he came closer to her. “Um, Y/N. We share a dressing room.” She pointed between she and Colby. “I got so excited, I forgot. Is it ok to use the general dressing room?” She asked.

“Actually,” I said as we continued down the hall, “I don't want to be treated special because I know you. I deserve to be in the general dressing room.”

Becky linked her arm in mine. “You're right, of course. You always are.” A look of incredulity crossed Colby's face.

“I've never heard her say those words before.” He said in mock wonder, which caused me to laugh.

“Really?” I quirked an eyebrow at him. “Because Becks used to tell me I was right all the time. Of course,” I looked at Becky and we both smiled before saying in unison. “I'm always right.” We both laughed at that.

“You two are gonna be trouble, aren't you?” Colby sighed out.

Becks went to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. “Of course we are darlin'. So just smile and go with the flow.” Again, we both laughed heartily at ourselves.

Becky got me settled into the locker room, making sure to introduce me to some of the other girls, so I could make friends. Being the new girl in a locker room is always an unnerving experience. Yes, the rest of the talent tried to be warm and welcoming, but there was always an underlying feeling of wondering if I was going to take their place. I was kind of used to it by now. I'd been the new girl in 4 companies. After the first few days, everyone always warmed up to me. One of the tricks I'd learned to ease the tension was to get to hair and makeup before anyone else. Most of the girls preferred to have their hair and makeup done just before going on stage, so they could look fresh. Since my hair was straight, and I wore only one braid in my hair so I didn't care when it got done. My hair would hold up for hours. As long as I didn't mess up my makeup, I was good.

Becky and I had agreed to meet in the mess hall at 5 pm. I felt a bit deflated when I realized I arrived before her. In fact, I was sitting alone at 5:05 when Dana Brooke approached me and invited me to join her table.

Becky and Colby came in shortly after, with Joe Anoai tagging behind. Once they'd gathered their food, they joined us. “Joe, this is my good friend Y/N.” Becks began. When I looked up to greet him and our hands touched to shake, my eyes locked on his, and my heart stopped. Literally stopped for a beat. I thought that kind of thing only happened in cheesy romance novels, but apparently, my heart thought this was a cheesy romance novel, because it really did skip a beat.

“My pleasure,” His voice was low and raspy, and for a second I thought I could feel it inside me.

I tried to keep my wits about me as I shook back, “The honor is mine.” Should I stand up? Should I stay seated? I thought of a million things to say to him. I'm a big fan. I prayed for you when you were sick. Can I please give you a lap dance? Just take me now! I was just shaking off my immediate thoughts when he smiled down at me, which made me almost swoon. Thankfully, they all sat down, Becky on one side of me and Dana on the other. Joe sat across from Seth on the other side of Becky.

There were a lot of the normal first day questions. Where have you been wrestling? Who trained you? Everyone wanted to know about me, some out of kindness, others to see if I was a threat. Becky was happy to start rattling off my accomplishments, but I stopped her by changing the subject quickly. “Becks, what was the name of that song we used to sing all the time?”

I saw her face change, as she processed what I was doing. “Oh Yeah... I would walk 500 miles...” she trailed off.

I pretended that I didn't know and she'd just reminded me. “Yeah! That's the one. Remember singing it at O'Connell's Pub?”

“I LOVE that song,” Nikki Cross interrupted and started bouncing in her chair as she sang out the chorus. That got everyone at the table involved. Then the next table over chimed in, and soon the two tables were singing lines of the chorus back and forth.

My plan had worked. I grabbed my phone quickly and text Becky, “Hey, let's not talk about my accomplishments. I don't want anyone to think I'm bragging.”

I waited a second as she text back. “You're not bragging. I'm bragging for you!”

I sighed as I read her response. “Just, please, let's drop it.” I sent the message and waited for her to nod in response. Dinner was outright fun after that. There were lots of tales told and laughter shared among the two tables. A few times, when Joe was talking, I got to stare right at him, but when he wasn't talking, and he was pretty quiet tonight, I stole a few glances at him. A couple of times when I stole a look, I found he was already looking at me.

After dinner, I returned to the locker room with a few new friends in tow. I was so happy to be accepted so easily. Being friends with The Man was a good thing. As I stretched out, my mind wandered back to dinner. Well, not dinner so much as Joe. Was he trying to steal glances at me? Was he as affected by our touch as I was? Was that why his voice was so low when he greeted me?

I shook off the feelings. I shook off my suspicious. After all, I was here to work, not to hook up. This was the biggest opportunity in my life. I had to stay focused. I tried to think of Joe as a friend. I tried.

After wrestling, showering and changing into my street clothes, I headed to the common area where everyone was watching the show. I found Joe sitting by himself in the back. Immediately, I tried to calm the feelings that were rising up inside of me. I'd have to sit in front of him to keep myself from staring at him, because quite frankly, he was beautiful and I wasn't sure I could NOT look at him. I headed for a seat by Nikki when he beckoned me to sit by him.

“Hey,” He said as I sat beside him. “Did you get all settled in?” He asked sweetly.

“Yes,” I nervously brushed some of my hair behind my ear, and instantly regretted it, because I knew I looked stupid with my hair brushed behind my ear. How could I fix it without looking like the nervous Nelly that I was? Shit. There was nothing I could do now except hope I could get it to fall down again. .

As my mind went into a spiraling mess of nervousness and lust, he asked, “Is everyone being nice to you?”

The sincerity of his voice touched me. He really cared about it. “Yes. I didn't have any troubles.” I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

“Listen, Colby, Becks and I were talking. We've got a free seat in our car if you want to ride with us after the show.” As soon as he said it, he looked like he wished he hadn't.

“Um, you don't have to do that. I'm sure I could catch a ride with someone else.” I looked down at my feet.

“No. You should ride with us.” He seemed so calm about it. He didn't seem to be nervous like me. Of course he's not. I thought to myself. He's just being nice. He's not attracted to you. My mind reeled off a dozen negative thoughts Well shit. I had to ride with him now or it would look suspicious.

“I guess if you don't mind.” I paused as he smiled at me. “Thanks.” I said shyly and focused my eyes on the TV. Colby was just starting a match, and Joe's face changed. He was glued to the TV watching the match intently so I did the same.

“Wow. Did he land wrong?” I asked when Colby went down at an awkward angle.

Joe leaned closer to talk over the din of the room, “Nah. He's fine. Watch... he'll start forgetting to limp on that leg.” I watched and sure enough, after a bit of time, Colby forgot to limp.

“You called it.” I said, laughing.

Joe laughed back, “He always does that.” He looked down and shook his head in disappointment.

“I'd hate to hear what you say about my wrestling.” I teased.

“Nothing.” He looked at me, so I turned to face him.

“Um. What?” I asked.

Joe started fidgeting with his hair. Is he nervous? Of course not. One of the best wrestlers in the business is about to give you tips. Listen to him and get your head out of the gutter. “I've seen a few of your matches. You do an awesome job. Better than some of the most popular wrestlers.” He said it so matter-of-fact that I ignored the desire to ask what he meant. I simply looked back at the tv and thanked him.

After the match, Joe said, “I'm gonna go finish packing. Meet you here at 10:30?” He quirked an eyebrow at me which made breathing difficult for me. You need to get over this NOW. You're not going to be able to avoid him, so you need to bottle up these feelings. As the new resolve rushed through me, I agreed to the meeting time and went back to the locker room to gather my things.

“There she is,” Colby said as I entered the room.

I looked at Becks, Colby and Joe. “Am I late?”

Joe smiled as he walked up beside me and placed his hand on the small of my back leading me out to the hallway. “Not at all.” He said as Becky and Colby followed us. I expected once we were headed the right direction, Joe would remove his hand, but he didn't. Don't read anything into it. Everyone in the WWE was touchy/feely. He's just being nice.

“Shotgun!” Colby yelled as he went to the passenger side door.

“I figured you guys would want to nap in the back.” Becky said.

Colby climbed in the front seat, “Nah, it's only a 2 hour drive. I can make it.” He told Becky.

As I climbed into the back seat next to Joe, I sighed. God, if you're trying to be funny, please stop. I can only be tempted so far. We settled in for the drive. Becky and I were talking about old times, basically shutting the guys out of the conversation. We were only about 30 minutes into the drive when I noticed Joe starting to nod off next to me. He looked pretty silly too. His head was falling back, his mouth was open, his eyes closed. I tapped Colby on the shoulder and pointed out Joe. “Yeah, he's a lightweight. Always falls asleep in the car after shows.” He chuckled.

Becky and Colby started talking, and I looked out the window at the passing farmland while I listened to the sound of Joe's breathing. Now, in the near silence with nobody talking to me, I began to feel tired too. I removed my jacket and balled it up to use as a pillow. I leaned it against the seat and curled up for a nap myself.

“Y/N” I heard a beautiful low voice say my name. I sighed. “Time to get up. We're here.” I knew that voice, It was Joe. I opened my eyes to realize I had my head in his lap. My jacket was spread over me like a blanket, and Joe was stroking my hair.

“What?” I said in a panic.

“We're here.” He smile down at me.

“But....” I sat up and stretched my arms out. “How did I end up in your lap?” Should I apologize?

Joe smiled kindly at me, “You started falling over, so I led you to lay down, and I put your jacket over you to keep you warm.”

“I'm sorry?” I half said/half asked.

He just chuckled, “No worries.” He smiled as he got out of the car.

#Joe Anoai X Reader Joe Anoai Roman Reigns X Reader Roman Reigns

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iplaydrake · 5 years

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FULL CIRCLE - CHAPTER 6 - THE RIGHT AND WRONG (AND RIGHT AGAIN) WAY TO BE A STUNNER - PART 3

Catch Up Here :

CHAPTER 6 - THE RIGHT AND WRONG (AND RIGHT AGAIN) WAY TO BE A STUNNER - PART 2

Author’s Note : Positive feedback, constructive criticism, and reblogging are always welcome. I own nothing except the storyline of my MC. Everything else belongs to Pixelberry.

Pairing : Drake x MC

Tag List : @likethetailofacomet @carabeth @rhymesmenagerie @speedyoperarascalparty @butindeed @wannabemc2 @client-327 @jovialyouthmusic @be-still-my-aching-heart @riseandshinelittleblossom @lodberg @drakesensworld @alj4890 @rainbowsinthestorm @ao719 @andy-loves-corgis @drakewalkerisreal @whenyourheartskipsabeat @furiousherringoperatortoad @silentcoyotesong @choicesmacmakes @ladyangel70 @lady-alex-keith @notoriouscs @lynne1993 @qammh-blog @gnatbrain @sirbeepsalot

*** FLASHBACK - 1 MONTH BEFORE SWEET 16 ***

“I don't even feel like I connect with her anymore; if I ever even did... I mean, what could she possibly see in a guy like me?” She immediately grabbed the piece of his hair she was playing with, yanking it back so he would look up at her. “Ow, Duck!”

“OK, first of all, I told you to stop talking about yourself like that and second, you are the most amazing man I've ever met, Drake. Any girl would be lucky to have a chance to even talk to you. If she can't see that, then that's her loss. God, I just don't understand why you... You know what? Nevermind...”

“What?”

“Nothing... Forget I said anything...”

He sat up from her lap and turned to face her. “Come on, Rem. What were you gonna say?”

She knew better than to think he'd let it go; he never did with her, always saying that the fact that she was so honest and open with him about what she was thinking was how he knew she was more real than any other noble at court. “Why you care so much about someone who treats you like shit.”

“You don't get it, Duck... You don't know what it's like for someone like me to be around people like them... No one treats me or sees me as anything but a commoner... And Kiara may not treat me good all the time but-”

She was suddenly tired of hiding her feelings from him and mad at the same time that after 3 months of spending time together he hadn't noticed them himself. She cut him off before he could continue. “Stop saying no one sees you! I'm here, Drake. I'm right here in front of you and I do! How can you sit there day in and day out and not realize it?... Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that you don't think about us? That you've never wondered what it would be like for us to be together?” He was silent for longer than she would have liked and before she could feel anymore embarrassed than she already was, she wiped at the imaginary dust on her pants and stood up. “I guess this is all in my head then... Listen, I'm gonna go, I'll see you... Whenever, I guess.”

As she turned to walk away, he quickly stood and reached out, grabbing her hand. “Rem, no! Please don’t leave!” She paused but didn't turn around. “Look, I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it... Probably more than I should... I mean, after these last few months, how could I not?” She turned to face him waiting for him to continue. "And you're right, you do see me. You are the only one who makes me feel like I'm worth a damn, the only one who takes the time to get to know the real me and I care about you; so much more than I ever thought possible... But Rem, you're only 16. It can't happen for us...” She knew it was the truth but it didn't hurt any less hearing it from him and she dropped her head, feeling the tears start to fall at his rejection. He immediately moved his hand to her cheek to get her to meet his eyes as he continued with a smile. “At least not right now... Listen, I'll make you a deal. We'll keep doing what we're doing, spending time, getting to know each other and we'll see where it takes us. I’ll even promise that if no other guy is lucky enough to experience what it's like to kiss you, it’ll be me... The minute you turn 18, I'll be your first.”

“What exactly are you saying, Drake?”

“I’m saying that if, in 2 years, you still think you want me, we'll be together... For real.”

She shook her head at him, unable to contain her smile. "There's no question in my mind that you're still going to be the one I want... I'm gonna marry you someday, Drake Walker."

*** END OF FLASHBACK ***

When she'd left home almost 6 years ago, she closed herself off to everyone, no longer trusting people's intentions and in turn, never allowing anyone close enough to hurt her. Any memories she had of the place that had caused her so much pain were buried deep down inside of her as she struggled to move on. But as hard as she tried, being home brought them to the surface faster than she'd expected and she could feel her guard dropping at the same speed. As she was packing her bag to head to Lythikos with her brothers and Savannah, she briefly wondered why she was going through these motions. In her mind, she had no intention of staying in Cordonia permanently, knowing there was no way she could stomach seeing, let alone interacting with, anyone who hurt her.

But it was the thought of getting close to Drake again or closer than she already was to Liam, that scared her more than anything. Between the look on Drake's face each time he begged her to believe him and the kiss she shared with each of them the day before, she knew that it was just a matter of time until she gave in to her feelings, knowing exactly where her heart would lie when it happened. Her kiss with Liam had been what she'd expected; sweet and gentle, the kind of kiss only a prince could give. But just like she knew it would, Drake's kiss left her breathless and wanting more. It was Drake... It would always be Drake.

So she did the only thing she could think of... She planned in her head how she was going to avoid him, knowing that after last night, staying away from him was the only chance she'd have if she wanted to make it back to New York with her heart intact. She walked out to the waiting limo, finishing the emails to her teachers and her boss, letting them all know that she wasn't coming back just yet, as she heard Maxwell call out to her.

“Rem, come on! We gotta go!”

“I'm coming, I'm co-” she froze as she looked up and saw him, leaning against the waiting limo. “Uh, Maxwell can I talk to you for a minute, please?”

“Remington, honestly, we do not have time for this.” She ignored Bertrand's call from inside as she gave Maxwell a look that said she wasn't asking. She grabbed his arm and yanked him far enough away where she hoped they wouldn't be overheard.

“Um, what the hell, Maxwell? What's he doing here?”

“What?” Maxwell asked, feigning ignorance. “He asked if he could catch a ride with us... He was supposed to go with Liam but he slept in, something about having a headache... What was I supposed to say?!”

She looked over at Drake, who was smirking at her. “Ugh, I should have hit him harder.”

“What?”

“Nothing... Let's just go...” She ignored the look Maxwell gave her as they walked back towards the limo and he slid in first, as she stopped in front of Drake. He motioned for her to get in, still smirking, and she shook her head, unable hide her own smile as he sat next to her, close enough that their knees were touching. She knew she was in big trouble as he looked down at her and winked, discretely locking his pinky finger with hers. A part of her knew she should pull her hand away, not wanting to give him the wrong idea, but another part was comforted by the simplicity of the gesture. That part won out as they stayed like that the whole way to Lythikos.

*****

“Come on, kid! Skate with me!” Maxwell didn't wait for her response as he grabbed her hand and dragged her out towards Hana. She couldn't help but laugh as the two of them literally skated circles around her. It had been forever since she'd been on the ice and it showed as she struggled to keep her balance and avoid running into anyone. As she made her way around the pond, she caught Drake's eyes as he watched her with a smile. She didn't notice the little blonde girl that was skating, both of them completely unaware that they were about to skate right into each other. By the time either realized, it was too late. The little girl couldn't stop herself as she flew right into Remi, knocking her down, Remi doing her best to take the brunt of the fall. She helped the little girl sit up slowly as Drake rushed out onto the ice, seeing Remi fall and everyone else huddled around them to make sure they were alright. “Whoa, are you ok, sweetie?” She looked around scared, almost as if she was going to be in trouble and as the crowd grew, so did the fear on her face. A woman Remi assumed was her mom hurried over apologizing, “I'm so sorry, Lady Remington! Are you ok?”

Remi immediately waved her off. “I'm perfectly fine! Is she? I tried asking her myself, but she wouldn't answer me.”

Her mother smiled sadly and Remi watched as she signed to her daughter, asking if she was alright. Remi put her hands up, stopping her. She took off her gloves, shifting the little girl's attention to herself to sign. “I'm so sorry I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you ok?”

The little girl, realizing Remi could sign, smiled for the first time, excited to finally be able to talk to someone else. She signed back excitedly, tell Remi she was fine and they continued their conversation as everyone watched, stunned. Drake and Liam both smiled to themselves as they watched the interaction and after a few minutes, the little girl threw her arms around Remi, hugging her tightly. Her mom reached out for her hand and she waved back to Remi as they walked away. As the crowd slowly dissipated, Drake moved behind her, putting his hands under her arms to help her stand up. Hana, clearly impressed, was the first to speak up. “Wow, Remi! I had no idea you knew sign language.”

“It's not a big deal. I took some classes in school.” She met Drake's eyes and tried to hide her blush as everyone noticed the look he gave her.

“Come on, Rem. Let's head in for a little bit.” Maxwell said as he led her towards the estate. He turned back, catching Drake's attention, and made a slicing motion across his throat, hoping Drake got his message loud and clear.

*****

After dinner, everyone moved to the sitting room to continue their conversations. Remi couldn't help but notice Drake as he continuously looked down at his watch.

“What's the matter, Walker? Got a hot date you can't be late for?”

He didn't answer, instead holding out his hand for her to take. “Come with me? I wanna show you something.” She slid her hand in his, allowing him to interlock their fingers together as he led her out into the cold, stopping them when they reached a clearing not far from the estate. He stood in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Ok, so don't be mad...”

“Why would I be-” Before she could finish her sentence, he gave her a soft shove, catching her off guard, and she fell backwards into the snow.

“Heyyy!”

“What? I told you not to be mad...” He said as he let himself fall beside her.

“Seriously, Drake? What the-”

“Shhh... Watch!” He pointed up, making her shift her focus as a meteor shower lit up the night sky.

“Wow... This is amazing.” She looked over at him with a smile to see he was already staring at her. She slowly slid her hand into his, both of them once again feeling the same spark from so long ago. “Thank you for sharing this with me.” she whispered.

“I want to share everything with you, Rem.” He leaned over, pulling her into a long kiss before he felt her shiver underneath him. “You're freezing... Let's go in.” He stood first and helped her to her feet, and she slid her hand in his again, this time on instinct. They barely made it through the doorway before his mouth was on hers again, rushed and frantic, the build up of what they'd both waited for for so long now taking over, both knowing exactly where they wanted this to go. Before all logic could go out the window, Remi did her best to get his attention; there was something she knew she needed to tell him before things went any further.

"Drake... Drake, I...”

“What, Baby?” He didn't stop, instead speaking through his kisses.

“I'm… I've never… been WITH anyone... Like this…" She said, trying catch her breath. He pulled away to look at her and she suddenly felt insecure under his surprised stare.

"I just... I mean before I left, anyway... I always thought me and you… That you would be my..." She fumbled with her words feeling more and more self-conscious by the minute. "I just... I wanted to be honest." She looked down, afraid to meet his eyes.

He brought his hands up, lifting her face and stared at her as if he was trying to remember this moment forever, before slowly leaning in to kiss her again. "I'll never know what I did to deserve you…” He kissed her once more before he held out his hand to her. “Come on, come with me.” She grabbed it, holding it tight in both of hers as he led her down the hall to his room.

Want to continue? Click below for the next chapter :

CHAPTER 7 : I’VE GOT YOU DOWN TO A TEE

#choices #fanfic #choices fanfiction #drake walker #drake x mc #drake #drake x mc fanfic #trr #maxwell beaumont #choices the royal romance #liam rhys #liam rys #au #the royal romance fanfic

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rogue-barnes-16 · 4 years

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THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF NATASHA ROMANOFF (part V/?)

Summary: after the too convenient disappearance of Natasha Romanoff, the Avengers —a local biker gang— search for help in the most unexpected place in order to get their friend back. Will it help, or will the situation just get more twisted and dangerous?

Pairing: biker!Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: angst-ish (biker gang au)

Tags:

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff: @shirukitsune @retrxbarnes @montypythonsholysnail

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language

A/N: I've been kinda missing for quite a while, posting something here and there, but I kinda miss writing regularly so I'll try come back to posting twice-thrice a week, but you gotta give me a bit to get some shit rearranged and written for that schedule to be possible. Meanwhile, enjoy this part of the series and if you wanna be added to the taglist, send an ask <3.

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff masterlist

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I took a deep breath and threw myself against the backrest, waiting for the first location to load while my hands ran through up my face and through my hair.

A yawn escaped my lips as I checked the laptop's clock first, and the timer for the code to do its magic second.

Leaving the laptop over the chair where I had been sitting, I walked my way to the kitchen and poured myself what would be the fourth coffee of that morning.

As soon as I finished, I made my way to the balcony were I used to spend those early mornings with my mug held between my palms.

I took a sip of my coffee, resting my elbows over the small balcony's railing. My were eyes closed as I breathed in the forest morning breeze.

"So much for saying it was a one-night stand." A teasing voice behind me asked, and a grin tugged the corners of my lips. "You still here?"

"It's been two weeks since that." I taunted him, taking a sip. "get over it."

"can't get over you." He dramatically stated in his morning husky voice, which made the sentence seem way more romantic than I thought it was.

"So fucking cheesy." I laughed.

"Bare with me, doll." feeling his lips against my temple made my smile wider while a pair of hands traveled from behind me to rest on my hips. "this is mine." he tugged the hem of his jacket, which I was wearing.

I hummed in response, leaning my back against his chest. "It's chilly out here. I didn't wanna get cold."

He tugged the hem of his jacket eagerly, feathery kisses tracing a path from my shoulder to my neck "come back to bed" I chuckled at his eagerness . " it's still warm."

"I got work to do" I replied noctant with the sole goal of sort-of upsetting him in a playful way. "No time for cuddling."

"Please, Y/n." he whined, slowly pulling me away from the balcony to take me back to the bed. "Just ten minutes."

"It's not gonna be ten minutes." I retorted playfully, turning around to kiss his lips as we entered the bedroom once more. "You're not fooling anyone with those puppy eyes, Barnes."

He let out a subtle laugh "at least you won't get cold."

I shivered.

It was always a little bit too chilly during the morning in that balcony.

I felt the urge to squeal when a jacket was suddenly thrown over my shoulders as a reply to my subtle shiver.

I held it back, though, and instead, grabbed the lapels clothing offered and put it on while a tall figure made its way to my side "Drop the coffee, yunky." Sam teased, resting his elbows over the railing without sparing me more than a subtle glance. "it's like the tenth one I see you with this mornin'."

"It's just the fourth one." I responded, looking before me to avoid eye contact with him as I took a sip of the coffee. "It's nice to see your level of drama hasn't changed at all."

"it's good to see your level of sarcasm is still the same, too." I shook my head with a smirk I couldn't hold back. "I kinda missed that annoying sass."

"Oh boy, ain't I aware of that."

His amused yet brief chuckle preceeded a surprisingly soothing silence between the two of us.

"So" I looked over to him and, by the knowing half smile in his face as he watched me intently, I just knew what he was going to mention. "a boyfriend?"

"Hell no," I denied with a scoff. "we're not talking 'bout that."

"C'mon, Y/n." he whined, turning to face my side. "I won't tell Barnes."

"Sam" I pinched the bridge of my nose as all the bad memories from those last days with them came back around, as if they had been summoned by Bucky’s last name. "I still don't trust you. Any of you."

"Uh... Sorry."

"Like-- I appreciate you tryin" I explained the best way I could. "but we're not there yet, and I don't know if we ever will."

"Yeah I'm-"

I shut my eyes as the self-awareness of how rude I might have sounded hit me. "I'm sorry I-"

"No, no, I'm sorry, you're right." he sighed, rubbing is hands together in an anxious manner. "And... I know it's not my place to ask any of this, but-" he took a split second to measure his words before speaking. "You're happy with him, right?"

I frowned, not at the question itself, but at what was carefully hidden behind it. "what d'ya mean?"

"I mean, you're with him because he makes you happy, right?"

"Wilson, why the fuck would I be with him if he didn't?" I inquired, now turning around to face him as my tone turned more hostile each passing second.

"I shouldn't be sayin' this but-"

"But you're gonna say it anyway." I finished. He opened his mouth a couple of times but nothing came out. "C'mon, what d'ya mean?"

"Listen-" he glanced around before continuing the sentence he had just started. "I'm just sayin I hope it's 'cause you're happy together and not 'cause of Bucky."

We eyeballed each other for a hot second while the anger built up inside me, making it so damn hard for me not to explode.

"Y'know what? I'm not havin' it." I stated, stepping away from the balcony in order to reach the living room.

"That's not an answer."

"You don't fuckin' deserve one." I hissed, grabbing the laptop to finish what was left to do as quickly as I could, now eager to flee out of there.

How dare him? I thought to myself. Who the fuck gave him the right to say shit like that.

The moment I was done with the laptop, I smacked it shut and, picking up my jacket, I rushed downstairs.

I was so inside my thoughts that I ended up bumping into Bucky on my way out, which left us both with barely enough balance to avoid falling down the stairs.

"Shit- sorry."

"Don't worry." he let go of my forearms, which I didn't know he was holding, and I shockingly enough, had to do the same, since I gripped his arms to avoid falling. "You okay?"

"Yeah- I mean..." I puffed, affirming with my head. "I'm fine."

"I..." I stared into his eyes for a moment, watching him trying to read me in order to find out what was wrong. "You sure?" I only nodded as his worried irises observed me. "you finished?"

"Yeah, everything's set in the laptop already." he mumbled an 'alright' and stepped aside, freeing the way for me to exit. "I... I really hope you find her."

"I'll call you if I need your help again." he answered, and, right after, attempted to climb upstairs.

"Bucky wait!" I followed him just to be close enough to be able to grab his hand, which made his whole body tense. "I changed my number." I explained whilst getting a pen out of my pocket to scribble my new number on his palm. "there it goes." I let go of him with a pang of sadness that I wouldn't even admit to myself. "keep me updated." I requested, trying my best to ignore the tinge of red creeping up his neck and ears.

"Okay. Have a good time with your boyfriend." what was meant to be a smile ended up as a pursed lip, and I couldn't blame him since I felt my mouth doing the same gesture as I climbed downstairs to the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I double checked Natasha's phone's latest locations, which Y/n had managed to get before leaving, before going back to the map in order to revise which were areas out of New Jersey and Queens.

"Hey" I spun my head to the door frame, against where Sam's side was now resting. "How's it going?"

"Uh... I think we have something." I informed him, pointing at one small area near the center of Manhattan. "I called Carter— I know, Steve's gonna kill me." I stated, anticipating whatever Sam must have thought of saying out loud. "She said Hydra's boys have been seen in this area for a while and--"

"I wasn't asking 'bout Nat." he cut me off, tilting his head to the side slightly while the faintest tinge of worry showed up in his eyes. "I meant-- y'know what I meant."

"What d'ya want me to say?" I questioned with a wannabe-careless shrug. "It's going. Just like it's been goin' for 'bout year already."

I took a peek at his face and I just knew he was about to explain to me how different it had been today from the rest of that year of me drowning in self-pity.

"Don't-"

"She got a boyfriend."

"Yeah, I heard that too." I replied sarcastically, getting up in order to reach for the phone again.

"What I mean-"

"She moved on, I know." I finished his sentence, starting to mark Peggy's number once again. "Can you focus on-"

Sam teared the phone away from me in a swift movement, which left me shocked for a couple of seconds.

"what the hell, Wilson?"

"Don't call Peggy," he warned me, locking the phone and placing it in his pocket. "Steve's gonna end you. And-"

"I swear if it's 'bout-"

"I wasn't gonna say that she moved on, you idiot." he snapped. "I was gonna say, don't do anything fucking stupid."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means she's not single." my friend warned me with arms crossed, no longer resting against the door frame. "It means that if somethin' happens and she doesn't stop it-"

"Nothin'll happen," I assured him with a sting of pain in my heart.

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm just sayin'..."

"Sam."

"I'm tryna help, man." his reply sounded as a desperate whine. "If you do something stupid and her relationship goes south, the blame's gonna be on you."

"It wouldn't-"

"It will," he argued, lowering the voice before continuing. " 'cause it's easier to blame the ex who fucked her up."

"We're all adults."

"Yeah" he agreed. "but you're my friend and I don't wanna see you bawling and weeping for another year."

"I'll be just fine."

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rogue-barnes-16 · 5 years

Text

THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF NATASHA ROMANOFF (part III/?)

Pairing: biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Genre: angst-ish (biker gang au)

Tags:

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff:

@shirukitsune @retrxbarnes

Permanent taglist:

@notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, kinda angsty but not too much

A/N: third part of these because I think I'll go crazy if I stay in this kind of semi-hiatus any longer. Hope you enjoy my darlings <3.

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff masterlist

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

BUCKY’S P. O. V.

Her hands were on the sides of my ribcage to provide her some balance while I was riding to the nearest diner.

It was an odd, though familiar feeling. The way her grip on my leather jacket briefly tightened when I took a turn, or the contact her the front of her legs made with the back of mines.

And I really really didn't want to stop driving, because I had missed that feeling, even if I wouldn't admit it out loud, even if I wanted to think I had moved on.

But I started to slow down the moment we reached the nearest diner's parking lot, and her hands left my jacket to hold herself steady using to the back of the bike.

As soon as the bike was parked, my feet reached the ground, still straddling the vehicle for us to be safe while taking off the helmet.

Once I had accomplished that task, I looked over my, slightly turning my torso to see if Y/n had done the same.

"Wow! okay" I chuckled while that magnetic girl I had just met in the bar —thanks to Carol— combed her recently messed hair with her fingers. "that was... Wild." her eyes were still widely open, but a half smile was now tugging the corner of her lip. "such a ride."

"first time riding a bike?"

"first time in bike with you" she replied, climbing off in a very surprisingly smooth way . "you really gotta slow down, I didn't even have helmet, boy."

I mimicked her movements and grabbed my things before approaching her. "well, I can fix that." we walked side by side to the bar. "I'll get you one."

"you seem pretty confident about me riding with you ever again."

"got a feeling you'll end up liking it" I replied with a smug smirk, opening the door of the establishment for her.

She shook her head no, peeking at me with a half smile tugging the corner of her lips. "Keep dreaming, Bucky."

"with you?" I questioned, following right behind her back into the bar, where both the gang and Carol waited for us. "Always."

"Cheesy."

READER'S P. O. V.

I let the helmet rest on my seat between my things while I combed my hair with my fingers. No matter how short or covered it was, with or without helmet, it always ended up tangled.

I had forgotten that minor inconvenience of riding a bike, specifically with the man I rode with.

"Ready?" he asked, holding the handlebars firmly. I gave him a lazy nod in response and proceeded to hop off the bike. "Let's go then." he walked side by side with me to the diner and when we reached the door, he opened it for me.

As soon as we sat down on the booth that was the furthest from the patrons of the place, the waiter came to take our order, which were just two black coffees, one of them iced.

Bucky waited until we had our coffees to speak, in order to avoid nosy ears, I figured. "It was two days ago." he started, swallowing the first sip of his coffee. "Nat had been keeping an eye on a guy for a while." I motioned for him to continue.

"Why would she do that?" I questioned with a frown. "Thought you were that type of gang, now were you?" I added with sarcasm.

"Wait a fucking second, will ya?" I motioned him to keep going with my hand. "the dude was following this girl." I tilted my head with confusion. "Stalking her."

"I got it the first time, James, I'm not that dumb." he muttered something under his breath, taking another sip of coffee. In reply, I just scoffed. "Why help that girl in particular?"

"We owed his brother a favor. Big one" he added, not quite focused on what he was saying. "Tasha's gonna scare him y'know? But turns out this guy wasn't a creep." he nursed his cup. "He's a rival gang member."

I opened my eyes widely, letting myself fall against the backrest of the booth. "Holy fuck." I always had assumed the Avengers were the only gang. Never in my time with them had I heard about a rival gang, I only knew that was dangerous shit.

Bucky’s blue eyes flickered to me, realizing too late that this was completely new information to me. "Yeah... I told Natasha to quit, we could protect this girl in other ways." he shook his head no. "she said she'll stay, just in case what was happening involved us."

"And then she dissappears." I sighed, massaging my temples, wondering what the fuck I was thinking when I decided I would help. "Bucky, I really don't see why I'm the only option."

"I-- listen." he lifted his gaze subtly to check no one was observing us. "I'm not supposed to be tellin' ya this."

"But you're gonna do it anyway."

He straight up ignored my comment as he mirrored my posture. "we have an inside problem."

"a something or a someone?" I was now definitely regretting the decision of going to my ex's house to lend a hand to his gang. "fuck, James, you better tell me it's a something and not a someone."

His sorry eyes and pursed lips killed my lame hope. "you want me to lie?"

"Yeah, for once I actually want you to lie." he clenched his jaw and diverted his eyes from me. "I went to your place and you have a fucking mole." Bucky’s gaze returned to me intently, shushing me. "don't fucking shush me" I retorted, internally freaking out. "I just put myself in danger 'cause I was stupid enough to decide to help."

"You're not in danger." he replied in low voice.

"okay now, you don't fucking know that."

"Whoever the problem is, they ain't there."

"Yeah sure." thousands of different scenarios that ended up with my corpse in a ditch went through my panicking mind as I stood up to walk away. "this was the worst fucking idea I've ever had." I mumbled under my breath, stepping out of the diner.

The fact that I didn't hear Bucky’s heavy combat boots after me in order to try and change my mind was surprising enough.

What was also surprising was finding another bike approaching the parking lot of the diner, and Clint almost jumping off it.

He took off his helmet way too fast for it to be safe before close to shouting my name. "Y/n!" For some reason, I stopped walking to wait for him to get to me. "Listen--"

"I'm out, Clint. I'm sorry." my apologies were genuine, because I knew how much Natasha meant to the dirty blonde man.

"No! Fuck- hold on for a second please." he begged, raising his hands in front of me to stop me. "I don't know what Barnes told you but--"

"Said that you got a mole inside."

"Fuckin'... Okay, I know you feel like your life is in danger if you help us but listen," his eyes spoke how desperate he was to get to his bestfriend on time. "Nat... You know I can't lose her and I swear if you help us, I'll protect you with my life okay? But please, Y/n... I'm sorry you got mixed into this but we- I really need you to help us."

I clenched my jaw, trying to meditate coolly about my reply to his beg.

I had put my feelings aside in order to think clearer, and that was one hell of a headache, given the people who were involved.

"Y/n please. Please, I swear on my fucking life I won't let anything bad happen to you." Clint assured me in a whisper. "please."

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I stayed sat in the booth for a brief moment after Y/n had left.

I really didn't know what else I could do to convince her to help us. I didn't know how to make her believe me, to assure her that she wouldn't get hurt on my watch.

I didn't know how to get her to trust me if I promised to keep her safe at all costs, because once you break someone's trust —specially someone's like Y/n's— there was no going back 99% of the times.

"Fuck."

I rushed to the door, attempting to reach Y/n, because I had to convince her. I owed it to Natasha, to Clint, to Sam, to Steve; I owed it to myself, because I kept losing my grasp on Y/n, and in this situation, letting her leave wasn't an option anymore.

When I got out, both helmets in my hands, I saw Clint in front of Y/n, practically begging for her aid.

"Clint... I'm sorry. I really am..." she spoke. "I can't."

"Yeah, you can." she spun around at the same time as Clint's eyes laid on my form over the girl's shoulder. "you can, and you have to."

She was suddenly fuming. "what the hell did you just say?"

"Bucky shut the fuck up and stop making it worse." Clint warned me while Y/n took a couple of steps towards me.

"You have to." I repeated as confident as I could whilst my heart pounded in my chest. "You have to, that's why you came all the way from your fancy ass apartment in Manhattan." it was the fourth sort of conversation I had with the girl I hadn't talked in a year, and I had decided to push her buttons. "'cause no matter how you fucking hate me, y'know you won't be able to sleep at night—"

"Shut the fuck up, Bucky." Clint repeated, almost hysterical as I went on, my eyes locked with Y/n's in an attempt to make her know I meant every word.

"—if something happened to Natasha when, knowing you could've, you refused to help." Y/n pursed her lips, refusing to retort anything. "whether you like it or not, I know you Y/n, and I know you're not gonna leave."

It was the riskiest stunt I had pulled in a while, but after a dreadful instant of silence, I realized it had worked.

"You're so goddamn confident about it, aren't you?"

"I also know you're probably considering leaving, just to fucking prove me wrong."

Silence again, her eyes dug into mines as she closed the distance between the two of us to grab her helmet. "You're so full of yourself."

"I'm right, though." I couldn't help but retort with the lightest tinge of amusement in my tone.

"I'm riding with Clint."

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