VENT POST TW://
Sooo I've been having some self image issues lately. Mainly my tummy area. I know lately media has made it like oh fat is beautiful but to me I have trouble with it. I wasn't alway this big. I'm about 325 ibs and it bothers the shit out of me. I'm working with doctors and I think it's thyroid but this is getting to me mentally. I'm grossed out with myself to were it's hard for me to get intimate with my bf. I know he doesn't mind and he thinks I'm beautiful ( he doesn't say it but yeah). I dress up in my goth thing to feel pretty but deep down I feel like a pile of flesh with black tarp. I don't know. I haven't felt this way before. I'm active a lot and moving a lot I don't excise regularly. I try to eat healthy but that costs money that I don't have. I know physical appearance shouldn't make you happy but when it's starts to mess with you mentally it's rough. I haven't really talked about it to anyone. I've told my bf that I feel gross or that I'm fat and I get shhh don't worry about it. Its a lot deeper then just trying to soothe the thoughts. I get intrusive thoughts about gutting my stomach though I've never self harmed at all it's just my brain wanting it gone. I'm sorry for anyone who has read this I just need some advice or something idk.
Thanks
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I drew this yesterday and my talented and wonderful @jazzyblusnowflake wrote this !!! 💗💗💗 and I just had to post it here too…i wasn’t sure at first but they always encourage me 🥺👉🏽👈🏽
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(Bit of horror under the cut, Super looks spooky here!)
Well you don't know me...
But I know you.
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okay so i have a question:
i have a lot of Harry Potter merch. Not new one, i bought the last one like two years ago, but i still have it.
However I don't feel like wearing it anymore. I basically have this dilemma where the clothing is very comfortable and fits me well, but i don't want to be seen as supporting J.K. Rowling (which i am not).
What's your thought on this, would you think a person wearing hp merch is a J.K Rowling supporter if you saw them on the street ?
(If you're trans and or jewish, your opinion on this is especially appreciated, but i'll take opinions from anyone but Terfs, you can fuck off)
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i cannot overstate how much i adore the relationship bad has w the french gang
like, he may be family as pommé's dad, but he is also just their family. straight up. they all stick up for him so readily and hes a part of the team. bad and baghera are siblings. pierre took the waystones bc he was upset about how ppl were treating bad about the furniture disappearance. antoine may joke but he is on bbh's side every time i can remember. etoiles is the only one on the island that really understands how strong bad is and my god does he want to see it in action.
no matter what thats their bebou!!! it just really makes me
also i really fucking love the mental image of these fuckers rockin up to the island via planecrash and maybe one of them is human at most but they all see the literal grim reaper and go "ur nickname is now baby ^_^" and now he is forever their bebou
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journalists underestimate the magnitude of my addiction and how far i'll go for the bit
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
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can.. can I ask for an affectionate reader with characters who aren’t normally like… used to the love? like, not just through words but physical affection like hand-holding, kisses, hugs, all that shebang. probably with a few people like yelan, ei, basically any character that is either cut-off from society or seems socially distant or isolated. 😞
☆ affectionate reader with yelan, ei, & furina
[ 4.2 Archon Quest spoilers ]
× yelan
Varies between how you display your affection, to be honest. Just like being affectionate with people? She's cool with it as long as you don't pop by while she's working (mostly because she'll end up dragging you into it for a bit of fun). I don't think she's all that touchy feely herself, but she'll absolutely get you gifts instead– like pretty knick nacks? She'll make sure to snag any she thinks you might like. Like a good meal? Sure, she'll take you out to one of the restaurants in the city, doesn't matter how expensive. Her treat. If you do prefer physical gifts rather then being taken out, you'll eventually get used to the random unmarked letters and packages showing up where your staying pretty often. It's obvious to know who it came from even if she never signs anything.
Flirty reader, though? Whole nother can of worms and now it's a challenge. The more confident you are the more interested she is. The other acolytes would absolutely seethe at the idea but she has no hesitation at just straight up flirting back– she's as charismatic as they come and she's got a poker face that's basically impenetrable. She'll probably also make a bet to see who cracks first (she always wins, unsurprisingly). Probably won't get dragged into any of her schemes this way but if you ask politely maybe she'll consider it, anyway.
The smell of freshly brewed tea and the clatter of dice across wood was a common sight at the Yanshang Teahouse– less common was the woman secluded in the far corner, her lips pulled into a grin that flashed fangs and a look that would scare off the most confident of men.
She'd normally try to scope out any new blood that'd made the mistake of stepping into her teahouse and was equally stupid enough to accept a gamble against her just for the thrill of it, but she was far too absorbed in the warm body at her side, one of her die clasped tightly in their hand as she guided them through the motions– they had a knack for it, she had to admit. The thought made her preen, the clatter of the die as it rolled across the table giving her that subtle, familiar rush.
Even if she knew exactly where it'd land.
"Six. Hm, maybe you're just lucky," She muses, plucking the die from the table and holding it up to her eye like a prized jewel, "Or maybe you're not as innocent as you'd have us believe." There's a sharp glint in her eyes at the prospect, but everyone else has the sense to keep their heads down and their words to themselves as she tosses the die herself.
"So why don't we find out and make a bet, just between you and me?"
× ei
Varies between Ei and the Shogun, because you'll probably be seeing either as much as the other. Sometimes you gotta really squint to tell who it is sometimes, but you get used to it. Both are fairly similar, though, in that their first instinct (especially in public) is to tense up like you're about to attack them or something. Difference is Ei eventually relaxes after a solid minute of trying to process your sudden affection and, if no one else is around, she might even reciprocate. Just don't tease her for being a little stiff and awkward about it, she's trying. That's what happens when your only company is a robot and uh. Nothing. For like 500 years. She's trying. Raiden, on the other hand, is just about as awkward as you can imagine. She's polite (blunt) about it because Ei is fond of you and also you are. The Creator. But she's not really built to deal with personal relationships and so she doesn't know how to deal with affection.
..Depending on what you do you may or may not blue screen Ei hard enough that she retreats back to PoE
Ei usually isn't fond of sitting still, unless it's to meditate. At least then she goes in with a purpose, something to achieve– but now, she's just focused on trying not to make a fool of herself. Her muscles are starting to ache from how hard she's tensing, though, in an effort to sit as straight and still as possible as their hands glide through her hair, weaving it into a single braid.
She can just barely hear the subtle lilt of their voice as they hum– and though it is soothing, it is also..very distracting. She can't focus long enough to try and meditate, too lost in the gentle rise and fall of their voice and the care they take to braid her hair. If she'd had a heart, she'd sure it'd be beating so wildly against her ribcage they could hear it.
But then it stops– their hands fall back to their sides and their humming falters. She freezes, too, racking her brain for any slights she must have committed. Instead, she is met with a calm, tender touch on the back of her neck, making her inhale sharply.
"Am I making you uncomfortable, Ei? You're so tense.." She has to grit her teeth to stop herself from bowing so low her head presses against the ground, her hands folded in her lap, clenching instinctively. "..No, Divine One." She answers simply, trying to contain the adoration swelling in her chest.
Yet as much as she tries to relax, to ease their worries, she finds that she cannot.
"Hm." That small murmur, a simple sound that nearly made her jump, was the only warning she got before they scooted closer, wrapping their arms around her stomach and resting their chin on her shoulder with a grin she would liken to Miko's, if she dared to make such a comparison. "Really?"
She swears she must've been feverish at the affection, lightheaded and dazed until she thought she might simply perish at the brush of their hands against her own.
Much to her embarrassment, however, she doesn't realize she's instinctively pulled back into Plane of Euthymia until she sees the familiar dull purples engulf her vision once again.
Though only a small solace, it seemed a little..brighter, this time.
× furina
Varies between pre 4.2 and post 4.2 archon quests to be honest.
Pre 4.2 she comes off as very vain– of course the most Divine would see fit to spoil her with affection! She deserves it, and is obviously their favorite! Just don't look too hard because she's terrible at hiding how flustered she actually is. Absolutely goes home right after and screams into her pillow for at least thirty minutes minimum.
Post 4.2 she's a lot more openly bashful and flustered. She's really not used to affection and even the smallest show of it has her folding immediately. Now that she doesn't need to worry about being found out she's a lot more receptive to affection. Cup her cheeks and compliment her and her knees are buckling. Like. Especially weak for compliments and praise (she deserves it. please spoil her).
She swears she must be hallucinating– she had been having trouble sleeping recently. But..no. The visage of the Creator was as real as the sweat beading on her brow as she stared at them for a long, awkward moment. Should..she let them in? But then they'd see the pathetic state she was in, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself in front of them-!
Her choice was quickly made for her, anyway, as she let out an undignified squeak of surprise when they suddenly tugged her forward into their chest, enclosing her in a hug.
Her first reaction was to freeze– her second was becoming absolutely flustered, her cheeks flushing a soft pink and her mouth closing and opening as she tried to find her words.
"I– ah..um." She stumbled over her words instead, floundering like a fish out of water. Yet she felt a distinct sense of emptiness wash over her when they finally pulled back, looking a touch sheepish. "Sorry, sorry– you just looked like you needed a hug."
The silence spoke for itself, her shoulders tensing slightly. But the way the concern and affection bled through their voice made her waver, her hands trembling as she let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sigh.
"It's..It's fine! Fine, I'm fine." She repeated, trying desperately to ignored the way her voice cracked and how hot her face felt– though it was more an attempt to affirm herself that she was not thinking about how warm they felt, how much she..actually enjoyed the hug. She wasn't thinking about it all! Absolutely not!
..Maybe a little.
"Just warn me next time, please?"
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The stupid animal shelter won’t help (as usual) and we already have too many rescues in our house but someone abandoned a dog in our area, just left him there with his plate and he’s not looking too good. I want to help and take him in but we don’t have space or money for it anymore. Idk if anyone is interested, this is in Houston. He seems very sweet. Idk what else to do y’all, I called and they said they wouldn’t do anything unless he’s injured badly.
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my week 3 oneshot for scrybruary has been up for a couple weeks now, and i'm overdue in posting about it! this one was for the theme "day in the life/mundane", so of course i wrote about death p03 taking magick leshy to the backrooms
The oneshot, Just Your Average Afternoon, is as you would expect quite a bit sillier than the two before it: Under an orange moon…Leshy is spending the afternoon at the dilapidated shopping center that serves as the Temple of P03, Scrybe of the Dead. When the possessed collection of decayed remains and analogue machinery shows Leshy a broken texture in the floor that leads to an infinite maze of yellowed rooms, the Scrybe of Magicks is equal parts shocked and intrigued. But perhaps, on a possibly haunted disk rife with sentient characters and poor programming, such a phenomenon isn't quite as unprecedented as one might assume.
you can read the oneshot right here! i put on a lot of analogue horror video essays while i work so it was a lot of fun to play around with some of those tropes and references in this chapter haha
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"I've had my eyes on you - and I do not like what I see."
Tw!(fake blood)
16 × 20, blood on canvas
oh boy, I really stepped out of my comfort zone for this one 😭😭 I'm not great with faces when it comes to something more realistic, but I still like it!! This one definitely took less blood than the one I did for the bathroom trap ^^"
As usual, ref is below the cut!! ALSO! I plan on continuing these smaller blood paintings for the Saw movies, so if there'd a scene/trap/idea you'd like to see done in blood my ask box is open!!!! I rlly need ideas for the next painting!!
'Saw X' movie poster (reference photo)
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I've been meaning to make a list of spooky (Thai - because negl that's 99% of what I watch) BL series and movies and what better time to post this than in October?
Spooky BL are my favourite flavour of BL. Turns out, there's actually a lot of them (maybe because Thailand does horror so well). These are only the ones I've watched (and enjoyed) so this list isn't complete.
*On another note: horror doesn't faze me at all so I can't really accurately say how scary some of these are. If you have squicks or triggers like jump scares, gore or bad endings please feel free to ask and I will do my best to give you a heads-up.
✨Spooky Thai BL✨
He's Coming To Me | Probably one of the first series everyone will think of. Not that spooky but a solid ghost(love) story with a murder mystery at its core.
Hidden Love | This is a budget show filmed under serious constraints during the worst of the covid pandemic. It's clichéd. It's over the top. But it's also got its charms. It comes with a tragic ghost (love) story that completely overshadows everything else with its many flashbacks and plot twists. If you manage to get over the camp. I warned you.
Dear Doctor I'm Coming For Soul | This one has reapers and ghosts and lots of bittersweetness. It's not that creepy since the supernatural elements are very matter-of-fact. It will make you cry though, sorry. :(
Ghost Host, Ghost House | Spooky with incredible chemistry between the leads and a cast of characters that you will immediately fall in love with.
He She It | A three-episode miniseries with a haunting soundtrack and a nice plot twist. This will make you miss JeffGameplay. :(
Low Frequency | Not spooky at all, and a bit slow and empty at times, but it has ghosts (in a way) and a sweet enough couple.
Make a Wish | Unfortunately, this has never had an inter release. There's inofficial subs floating around on grey sites but as of yet the series hasn't been fully translated. Which is a pity because it's a cute show about angels and spirit possession and (some) murder mystery.
Midnight Museum | I'm stubbornly putting this under BL. This show has everything and everyone. It's genuinely spooky at times but mostly draws on folklore, the mystical and an absolutely stellar cast.
On Cloud Nine | Short and beautiful. An indie production that's more ethereal than genuinely spooky.
🎞️Red Wine in the Dark Night | The oldest entry in this list. Admittedly, not very spooky (and instead rather surreal and sad), but it has one (1) vampire and Fluke Natouch in a role that's more grounded than we're used to nowadays.
Something in my Room | A spooky show with ghosts, mystery and romance that hides a lot of commentary behind metaphors and allegory. Criminally underrated because it didn't have a wide enough release. If you want to binge something fun and spooky for Halloween then this is the series to go. Prepare tissues.
✨Not a BL but hey, I know that actor!✨
Enigma | Win Metawin (and surprise guest!) in an incredibly well done 4-episode series about the occult with interesting worldbuilding and the promise of a second season.
🎞️Ghost Lab | Tor Thanapob and Ice Paris in a genuinely gruesome, shocking and scary horror movie. You've been warned.
Girl From Nowhere | One of the best things tv has to offer, and genuinely dark as well. Up Poompat, Pepo Nutchapan and James Teeradon feature in some of the loosely-connected episodes.
🎞️Hoon Payon | Phuwin Tangsakyuen, Up Poompat and Bank Nuttawat in a classic spiritual ghost story. More shocking than scary.
🎞️Inhuman Kiss | Oab Oabnithi and Great Sapol (sadly, not as a couple) in a sad and romantic take on a classic Thai legend.
Let's Fight Ghost | A Thai remake of a fun and somewhat spooky kdrama with spiritual themes. And Saint Suppapong.
🎞️Pee Nak 1, 2, 3 (and soon 4) | I'm biased because I really like this movie series. It's spooky but in a fun way. It has queer characters (as comedic relief - but not in a degrading way) and can get surprisingly deep. Watch this if you want to see (baby!) Tar Atiwat grow up on screen (because he's in all four movies). The third movie rewards you with some surprisingly sweet MeanPlan that might continue into the fourth movie.
School Tales | A Thai horror anthology centred around students at various schools. This series has Fiat Patchata, Kay Lertsittichai, Pepo Nutchapan, Mark Siwat and, most prominently, Saint Suppapong and Chimon Wachirawit in well-paced 50-minute episodes.
The Stranded | One of my favourite series ever. If you watched LOST then you know what to expect. This has 3 QL couples (Perth Tanapon & Mark Siwat, Win Pawin & Tanthai Tatchapol, Ticha Wongtipkanon & Chaleeda Gilbert) but don't expect any of them to get a happy ending. Sadly, this series ended on a cliffhanger and won't get a second season due to the lead actor's tragic passing and Nadao's dissolution.
✨Upcoming Spooky BL✨
7 Days Before Valentine | Death Note but make it even more of a BL. Patrick Rangsimant originally wrote this so I'm really excited. Plus, it will begin airing in November which is almost as good as October.
🎞️After Sundown | A period ghost movie that hit Thai cinemas this summer to great success. There's currently no news on an international release.
🎞️Death Is All Around | Saint Suppapong coming through with another spooky production - this one about death and the afterlife. This also has Seng Wichai, Bas Suradej and Dun Romchumpa (presumably as a couple).
The Hell Guards | Chains of Heart but make it spooky. Oh, I am so excited for this!
My Imaginary Boyfriend | Based on another one of Pat Rangsimant's novels (my favourite, atually). This one is more grounded, and spooky in a more psychological sense.
Mystique in the Mirror | Another one of Pat Rangsimant's novels (and psychological horror too, by the looks of it). This one started filming back in early summer so it should be airing soon.
Shadow | This series will air its first seven episodes on Halloween and that should tell you everything you need to know. It's a suspenseful (ghost?) story set in a Catholic private school.
Spirit Reborn | This has the potential to be very spooky, with curses and spirits and past lives.
SunsetxVibes | This is going to be messy and spicy but the short pilot trailer did have spooky undertones and possible spiritual themes.
The Whisperer | More psychological horror but this time not penned by Pat. Apparently, this has been in production for a while so hopefully we'll get some news soon.
Zomvivor | The only zombie series on this list has entered pre-production and is slated to be released in 2024 (hopefully before October). Will it have BL? I don't know, but it stars pretty much all of domundi's acting couples (and more).
1000 Years Old | Will it be spooky? No idea, but it does have vampires and sometimes that's enough.
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idk
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