#idk why it just feels true

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[itspileofgoodthings]

one of my favorite things about pride and prejudice is that in the last third of the book Elizabeth’s internal monologue about Darcy is her admitting that she’s in love with him but also putting all sorts of qualifications around that statement that kind of ...tamp down the level of emotion (the “feelings, if not as tender as Jane’s for Bingley, at least as just” line, even the whole thing about her and Darcy being well-matched objectively speaking) and as soon as she’s engaged you get the unbridled joy in the narrative about her own joy, cc: “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.” 

#pride and prejudice #jane austen #this is very obvious but it's in the narration itself #that she's trying to sort of distance herself from the depths of her own feelings in case this DOESN'T work out #i also think the rational stuff is totally true and she would say that after as well but she would say it in a different way #idk i just love it. it's so subtle and it's so true #also very obvious?? i feel like i'm making a very obvious point #but anyway 'elizabeth's feelings soon rising to playfulness etc. etc.' #also this is why i hated the end of a civil contract actually #i felt like she was tamping it all down and for some reason it just made me SO mad #like no. it's supposed to OVERFLOW NOW #adam being like 'and in the end the rational choice was jenny' sir i will FIGHT YOU IN THE PARKING LOT #idk i was student teaching and very emotional at the time maybe i missed something and read it wrong #but my entire spirit REBELED #like. how honestly DARE #i'm avoiding grading can you tell #yes you can I will go now

[oceanwithouthermoon]

currently thinking about unreliable narrator saiki kusuo, and the fact that if the manga was written from anyone else's perspective then everyone would see him as a tsundere stalker, borderline yandere..

#tsundere? absolutely without a doubt. stalker? yeah you actually just cant deny that. yandere? mmm debatably true. #obsessiveness/possessiveness/protectiveness that makes him act kinda abnormally or sometimes literally go into a violent episode.. #yea thats just kinda a part of his character #but its not as severe as i think being an actual yandere implies #the thing that makes me think its close is the fact that he literally blacked out and had a violent episode back in elementary school #like he does genuinely care and think about other peoples feelings but in the moment of anger he literally lost control and had an episode #like he regretted it after but he still had an uncontrollable violent episode #and thats part of the reason he doesnt get close to people now.. #yeah i dont think it's quite yandere but something close #idk why im actually talking about the logistics of kusuo saiki being a yandere sorry #damn it my beautiful princess with a disorder #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #saiki kusuo #meows post

[shadow-the-crow]

I think i finally understand how the Distortion works. I mean, i don’t think it’s possible to ever fully understand it, and i don’t know the whole picture yet because i don’t know what Helen will be like, but i feel like i’ve just been granted a glimpse at the lovecraftian (as in ineffable) thing that is this being.

It’s not a person and a creature fighting inside one mind. There’s no Michael clawing himself to the surface to express his emotions and get his revenge.

Michael Shelley is dead. The Distortion became Michael. It sounds so simple, yet a least in my opinion it’s hard to fully understand.

I think what provides the best metaphor is a small thing the Distortion says after becoming Helen: "without a proper mind." The Distortion does not have its own mind. It’s only a what, but in order to really exist in this reality, it needs a who. It needs a body, but also a mind.

So if i understand this right, it’s like this: Michael Shelley is dead. His conciousness is not there anymore. And the Distortion got forced into that mind, an empty mind of a dead person. This doesn’t make it human, it’s still able to understand the impossible, it’s still the thing that was created to scare and kill. But in the mind it’s living in… the previous owner’s furniture is still there. It gets the dead person’s memories. It becomes Michael, in the sense that it has to be someone. Its existence got tied to being Michael, although Michael Shelley is dead.

When Michael got "emotional", that wasn’t Michael Shelley coming through. It was the Distortion grappling with the side effects of being someone - of living in a mind with all the memories and the human emotions that a human mind can’t fully turn off, even when the thing inhabiting it isn’t human at all.

The Distortion was Michael in the sense that it was thinking with Michael Shelley’s mind. When it became Helen, its consciousness, its being stayed the same, but it needed to adapt to this new mind. It could see clearer now, realizing that the windows of the previous house had been dirty, realizing that the wirings of the previous mind had driven it to do something that it actually didn’t want to do. The throat of the Spiral itself getting caught in the spiralling of its own, borrowed mind.

#here comes the first michael essay #this is only the start #i've still got so many more thoughts #i hope this makes sense #idk why but i think i get how the distortion feels #being forced to be someone who isn't you at all #like - it doesn't make sense but i get it?? #okay i haven't watched doctor who but maybe it's kinda like being the doctor? #you kinda change personality and become someone else but your true being stays the same? #(as if anyone of us knew what it's like being the doctor any more than we know what it's like being the distortion lol) #tma #michael distortion #tma the distortion #helen distortion #the magnus archives #tma podcast #tma spoilers #tma thoughts #mag 101 #another twist #michael shelley #i just realized i've probably spelled michael wrong in the tags before oops (i know how it's spelled but “micheal” keeps popping up so...) #you know what i'm gonna put the wrong version too for reach #micheal distortion

[dyketubbo]

i remember seeing someone call tubbo a fully grown adult at 19 (obvs before he turned 20) and i gotta say. i think maybe some people have a really skewed idea of what constitutes as "fully grown". and also what constitutes as properly mature. thinking that at 18/19 (or hell even at 20/21) people are now fully grown and mature is insane to me like yall thats how you get people thinking their life is over at like 23 and that 30 year olds are senior citizens 😭😭 be fr

#this is a problem no matter where you look but i think a lot of ppl in the mcyt fandom esp seem to think once youre- #-considered an adult at all that it automatically means youre fully grown and mature and thats just nooottt really true for most ppl #which i think can lead people down to sort of dangerous paths especially because 'adult' is often defined by age of consent #and theres also some slight cultural differences like even just between the us and the uk where due to 18yr olds being able to drink in- #-the uk (and other places) i think it genuinely causes some dissonance #where i see often in the us that when youre 18/19 youre still treated (id say rightfully) as being rather young and not Truly a grown adult #hence. yk. the term Young Adult #but i think in places where the drinking age is younger it starts causing people to see younger people as more mature #which is also why a lot of predators like to push for the age of consent to be at a younger age like 15 or 16 #and why many lolicons try to point at japans age of consent (which for the record is complicated and not as simple as just 'age of consent- #-is 13') as a defense for how they act #because these sorts of milestones (having sex and drinking) are seen as marks of a true adult. which gets into a whole lot of other #complicated things #and often dangerous things and ways of thinking #ANYWAYS . basically 18/19 isnt fully grown 20 is also hardly fully grown itself #and theres ways to combat people infantilizing tubbo and other creators his age without acting like hes actually #fully grown and mature lol. i promise you humans are not fully grown at 20 years old are you kidding me 😭😭😭😭 #if youre in your 20s you still have a lot of time and space to grow i promise. do not fall for the idea that your life is done by like 23 #idk. im only 18 myself but it just feels insane to me that if i were a creator people would be calling me a fully grown adult #not that im not an adult but i dont think im mature enough to be seen as fully grown and i guess itssss. sad? #to see other people my age think that turning 18 means youre fully grown. just really not true #theres a lot of 30 year olds who still see early 20yr olds as being practically babies we have Not made it to full maturity yet i prommy #mask mews

[say-hi-intrepid-heroes]

.

#i'm getting an impending sense of doom that i'm going to be outed as queer soon to my mom #idk why but that's just the feeling i'm getting and usually my Dread Feelings are correct so that's very scary #it also could just be cause this is my first time having a queer partner who isn't long distance and is also out very publicly #like i can't even talk about them in a vague way without outing myself #and i'm spending time with my mom this weekend so unfortunately now would be the time for this prediction to come true #it's not necessarily a life shattering thing but it would be shitty if it did happen #so please pray or manifest or whatever other thing you do that if this does happen then it can go smoothly #cause this could go south real fast #personal

[buddiesmutslut]

OKAY OKAY OKAY YOU GUYS BUT WHAT IF!!

What if, in the last few minutes of 7x10, we cut to Frank in his office. The camera is focused on him so we don’t know who’s on the couch across from him.

He’s mentioning the last time the person was there, that they were talking about intimacy & their partner and worries about the future (throwback to Athena on the first episode & Bobby in the cruise ship arc), and Frank asks the person how it’s going…

AND THEN IT PANS TO EDDIE IN THE ROOM LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE AND UPSET AND KIND OF A MESS AND HE SAYS SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF: “I realized I couldn’t commit to Ana or Marisol in the way I thought I should because they’re not what I wanted. I don’t think I like women.” A pause. A breath. “And I think that’s because I’m in love with my best friend.”

END SEASON ROLL CREDITS YOU’LL HAVE TO COME BACK IN S8 TO SEE HOW IT PLAYS OUT.

#911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #oliver stark #ryan guzman #tim minear #Tim if you use this I will love you FOREVER #I think it would be so funny to start & end the season in Frank’s office #with characters trying to get to the nitty gritty of why they’re feeling things & what they’re ACTUALLY struggling with #idk what would lead to Eddie’s revelation in the last episode maybe another NDE #I’ve always thought that Chris was going to be the one to get them together so maybe something happens to him/he gets hurt #& whether Buck’s with Tommy or not he still comes when Chris needs him because he’s a PARENT & a PARTNER #and he already has a family and Eddie realizes then that he doesn’t need a mother figure for Chris when they already have a Buck #goddamn it i think i just had another fic idea #911 #911 s7 #911 s7 e10 spec #they haven’t even written it yet so it coULD TOTALLY HAPPEN #bisexual evan buckley #also GIVE ME EDDIE LEARNING WHAT DEMISEXUALITY IS IN THERAPY #demisexual eddie diaz #gay eddie diaz #they are in love #& I need them to realize it #the buckley diaz family #I saw someone say that Buck needed to understand his sexuality to realize his feelings for Eddie #and Eddie needed to realize his feelings for Buck to understand his sexuality & that feels VERY true to me

[sophfandoms53]

Keanu Reeves Shadow rumor circulating…. I got my eye on you

#WONT GIVE AN OPINION UNLESS THIS IS CONFIRMED #all imma say the way this info is coming out is sus asf #and its not from an official source #like idk why someone would give a random yt streamer the ok to release this info #i aint trusting shit unless its from an offical source bro #idk just feels too good to be true #BUT WHO KNOWS #grain of salt guys #grain of salt #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic movie #sonic movie 3 #sonic movie 2 #keanu reeves

[skunkes]

the way I've been raised has shown itself in a recent awful experience I had and the realization won't leave me because I'm not sure what to do about it.

I don't like feeling anger/upset and it's rare for me to feel it anyway but it's led to me being unable to tell what's worth getting upset over anymore. If my wants upset somebody, then, well, maybe I shouldn't have them? What is so serious that I need it to go completely my way...? What desires am I allowed to have. It's not that serious, it's okay if not, you can't always get what you want....

every time I feel Upset I am later wracked with guilt because it wasn't a big deal and I was just being selfish... What IS a big deal then? How can I tell? Its admittedly never a big deal... But I keep being upset. And stepped on....

#talkys #this is what led to me Staying for as long as i did #there would be issues but if I brought them up i wld then be made to feel guilty for feeling that way #but i cant reverse that bc well!! its true like is it really a big deal? life isnt that serious I dont need to get upset... #i get upset at something my parents do and in the end i feel ungrateful and selfish #i really cant tell anymore which is why i Stayed as mentioned above #in the sense of well yeah the way im being treated doesnt make me feel good but why do i need to feel good? #isnt that selfish...isnt that asking too much...isnt that making yourself out to be Better Than... #i really dont know. i get so ready to give up my position on anything because I dont want to be selfish #and because im no better than anyone else #my mom caused some drama on my birthday wrt my sister's family and it led to me not being able to go to the duck #pond on my birthday... which is the only thing i really wanted to do on an otherwise uneventful day #i was meant to feel shame abt it because well we can always go any other day!!! relax!!! #and it is true....! #we can go any other day why did i get upset? its not that serious...nothing is that serious...i feel so guilty + spoiled + selfish #i just felt humiliated for wanting to go in the first place. and for getting upset that we couldnt go. like a toddler. #*not that i actually get Toddler Level upset...but it always Feels like i did...ykwim #i just dont understand......idk if i can Repair this....

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

I feel soo disconnected from the tiktok side of the fandom like I just feel like they're completely different from me & that feels weird considering I always thought I get along well with any person who is a swiftie

#bc swifties used to be a certain kind of people who were v similar to me personality-wise #& with taylor's popularity i feel like there are now also fans who are completely different from me #maybe that is the true reason why i don't like taylor's popularity atm idk #it's just that taylor was always the artist for me & the ppl who also felt like they don't fit in anywhere #& now she's popular among the 'popular' crowd & so i no longer feel like i fully belong into the fandom??? if that makes sense #although i'm ofc happy for taylor & her success #if that makes sense

[oceanwithouthermoon]

aiura def has a photo wall with hundreds of pics of her and her friends..

everyone is in a few but its mostly the psychickers and chiyo...

#idk why i feel like toritsuka takes a lot of the pics #toritsuka photography hobby real ?? mikorei bonding over photgraphy and decoden sorry i dont make the rules #not just their phones and cameras covered in cuteness- a lot of the pictures r phramed with stickers n stuff too #anyway some of the pics r just shottily taken selfies by tori or miko #but theres also a lot of candid pics of each other and kusuo #nobody can ever get a true candid pic of akechi hes always staring at the camera #hard to get candids of kusuo too for obvi reasons but hes almost always making the same face anyway so its not like he cares that much #also so many cute candids of and selfies with chiyo... #and a lot of photobooth strips #theres a single candid pic of chiyo trying to flirt with kaido and shes tried very hard to get miko to take it down- #cuz its embarrassing but miko thinks she looks too fucking cute #also at least one person in the group has a gopro and saiki gets to take unlimited underwater photos #sleepover pics with all the girls too... #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #aiura mikoto #meows post

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

so hard and lonely to be one of like five people in the entire world to see the truth (iron man 2 is a better movie than infinity war)

#why have i been thinking about this? #idk. consuming marvel content gets me through Many Tasks. but i do that a lot often so idk why this has been on my mind #but it has been. and it's true. i'm right. #i also feel like i maybe (unbelievably) am growing to appreciate iron man 2 even more #because it's a movie about a guy coping with stress by going apeshit on the self destruct button for his own life #which is awesome and relatable and more interesting than they will ever let anyone not named tony stark be... #anyway. i also just can't believe how pro infinity war people are #like even people who can talk normally about other movies and who don't think every mcu product is great before even seeing it #talk about infinity war like it not only was good but was a movie. like a real movie the way movies are movies #like people who i KNOW have seen other movies act like this #like we have to believe it to be an achievement because they put all the guys in it #no!!!!! no A's for effort!!!!!

[lokiusly]

this is a delulu account btw 🤠💃🏽💅🏽

#idk who is on here for realistic shit but it’s not here!! #miss girl!!! why would I think logically about a superhero show #wildddd #I’m not going to interact but that’s crazy that people feel the need to police others #the post was not for you #PSA if you see a post you don’t like you don’t have to interact with it. just make your own post if it BOTHERS you that much #anyways Lokius is canon! #and if it ends up not being canon then !!! idk it’ll just live on here! and that’s disappointing but wow a community that all came together #for a love that they perceived to be true? in a romantic sense— yes that’s amazing. we don’t need your canon. we can thrive without it #would be nice though #talking to the void but if you know you know #also I think that sometimes we know that maybe theories are just that #but like also it’s fun??? let us be damn sis #god wouldn’t it be amazing if Lokius was canon on the MCU screen to the general audience? #manifesting it! #anyways even if they not canon there’s a branch where they are byeeee have a nice day! #brb going to touch grass lol

[qulizalfos]

thoughts many thoughts

#about...... the mikeification of fanon will #& the willification of fanon mike.. #i just think that will should be a little bit of a bitch sometimes [i mean im definitely pro] but he is also a sad quiet little guy #idk #important characteristics to me. #and mike is a sweetheart but he also cussed out his teachers age 12 you know #“he's sweet around will though” he is still a human person!! #and they treat each ohter like real people that's why the dynamic works. that was like their whole thing in s2 #anyway #the point im trying to get at is that one of will's defining traits IS his feelings and how sensitive he is #btw sensitive is not used in a bad way here!! just saying #damn i had way more thoughts on this than i thought. #anyway im gonna change my title back to dying on my little hills again. as a treat. because its true #lizaflopposting #will byers #mike wheeler #byler

[strangesickness]

losers playing ttrpgs... losers playing ttrpgs save me...

mike is running a multi-year homebrew ttrpg campaign that is basically just a combination of any rulebook the losers can get their hands on + anything they come up with. i know it to be true. the campaign started as a call of cuthulu campaign but it is now a terrifying mix of call of cuthulu, dungeons & dragons, and cyberpunk with elements from a dozen other games including star wars: the roleplaying game, warhammer, harnmaster and somehow alma mater(??? idk how. but i know this happened). richie was like. "mike man, i love you forever, you're great at this. but why don't i have magic powers?" and he pointed at ben's collection of d&d rulebooks he'd been browsing through and he sounded so earnest and excited that mike knew in that moment he was going to sacrifice the integrity of his cool mystery campaign so richie could cast vicious mockery (99% sure vicious mockery didn't exist yet... don't quote me on that but it doesn't matter because the idea of richie using it constantly is hilarious)

they've all been playing the same characters for years and they keep convincing mike to add more stuff so they're all like super powerful and mike keeps having to come up with more and more powerful enemies.

mike's dice collection is so so so cool he has so many dice, and whenever he introduces a new important character he goes out and gets dice that fit their theme and it is such a moneysink but it's worth it because ooooh pretty dice

after four occasions where the losers decided to adopt a random npc mike hadn't planned anything for, mike has started planning every single npc out down to the specifics of their childhood education. he has endless character sheets hanging out in his room with characters he's created that populate his game world.

okay hanbrough agenda time: bill is the most oblivious guy in the entire world. i know this. (he is the guy who looks at brokeback mountain and goes "what do you mean it was gay? why can't men be friends anymore?" this is based on that one passage at the beginning of the book where he goes on one of those "why can't the curtains just be blue because they're fucking blue" rants lol. he does not know what media literacy is. to me) and mike is. increasingly frustrated and feels like he's losing his mind. he is like head in hands because he asked bill to go to prom with him and bill was like "yeah sure man! sounds great, you're my bestie forever!", and he has no idea what to do, because how is this man this dense, so he just starts having all of his NPCs fall head over heels for bill's character and flirt like madmen. it is painful for everyone involved. except bill. who still has no idea what is going on. that is a very unfortunate month.

mike and ben hang out a lot and ben helps mike brainstorm for the campaign so ben has all this insider knowledge and mike will just look at him before something insane happens in the campaign. they'll like make eye contact and ben will be like holy shit holy shit holy shit :0 and mike just drops some insane new lore. it's very special to me.

#i know it might be like. why isn't ben or bill GM? they're the writers! #but like. idk it just fits. watching mike in it chapter 2 gave me so much unhinged GM energy #that man can spin a TALE. i know it. i also know he can improvise like crazy #they finish a session and he's like. btw guys everything after like the first hour was improvised i hope it didn't feel to awkward #and the losers are like... wdym you didn't perfectly plan all of that????? #bill could not run a campaign to save his life. he does not know what chekhov's gun is. he does not know what nuance is. #he would be trying to run a campaign and the losers would do ANYTHING even slightly off the hyperspecific plan he made #and he'd start trying to railroad everyone and everyones just getting increasingly stressed #basically it would be a bad time #that man can't do improv i know it in my heart #ben on the other hand is a massive ttrpg nerd and has run multiple one shots with the losers #he's not big into long campaigns like mike is but he loves coming up with new campaign ideas #he also collects ttrpg rulebooks and is always looking for weird ones to try out with his friends <3 #they all have so much fun doing character creation with ben too. it's great. #i'm not done with this btw. i have so much more to say #i love ttrpgs and a party is the highest level of friendship. this is true #my high school best friends were literally just my d&d party #and cyberpunk (the ttrpg) is how i made friends in college lol #posts afflicted with a strange sickness #it stephen king #it 2019 #it 2017 #mike hanlon #bill denbrough #ben hanscom #hanbrough #richie tozier