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shadowandlightt · 3 days

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Of Nightmares and Memories | Twelve | Azriel x Rhys' Little Sister! Reader

Series Warnings: Kidnapping. Mistreatment. Cursing. Pining. Violence. Depression. Talks of suicide. Eventual smut

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven

You laughed as you walked through the forest with your mother and Michaa, your maid. Though, you almost could have believed she was your father’s bastard daughter. In another life, maybe she could have been your sister. You were on your way to meet Rhys, before continuing on to the War Camps to the north.

You hated The Illyrians and their prejudice, but you loved your brother, Cassian, and Azirel. Although you weren’t sure if you’d see Az or Cass on this trip. It’d been too long since you’d laid eyes on them though, and you were aching to feel their arms around you.

“How much further?” You groan, dropping your wings slightly, “Can’t we just fly?”

“You know the winds are too strong today, my love,” your mother informs you softly, “I think we’d all father fly anyway, you know how much Michaa loves it.”

The young woman only grinned and turned her eyes towards the sky. She was Illyrian too. Wings unclipped thanks to having been born in Valaris. Why she wasn’t in Illyria you weren’t sure, but you were glad to have her. Your life wouldn’t be nearly as fun without her by your side for all of the trouble you caused.

You close your eyes for a moment and reach your power out, focusing on the soft shadows that lurked by the trees. You weren’t as good at commanding them as Azriel, but you had a small kernel of that power dwelling inside you. Something your father knew nothing about.

I’m coming, you willed them to say. Before searching for their master. You felt his mental shields, just as strong and powerful as he. You stroked down those shields, gently, sensually. Begging for entrance to his mind.

I’m in a meeting, his voice fills your mind.

I plan on sneaking into your tent this weekend.

And you swear you can hear him groan. Not in frustration, but in wanting. You can feel it rippling through his mind. You smile down at your feet, heat rising in your cheeks. You knew the effect you had on him, just as he knew the effect he had on you. You were playing a dangerous game.

Your father would likely kill Az if he ever found out. Which is why you had to get good at sneaking in the shadows, using them to conceal you from prying eyes. You were a quick study though, and was beginning to master the skill. Az was always proud of you when you manages it.

Don’t get me in trouble today, he warns, although not sounding very convincing, I doubt the Lords would like it very much if I start smelling like I want you as badly as I do.

You pause, nearly tripping over a fallen log. Your mother gives you a knowing smile, seeming to understand who you’re talking to. She only knew because she once caught Az sneaking out of your rooms just before dawn. Her and Rhys had been out flying all night and were just returning. She only smiled and turned around, wishing you both a goodnight as she went.

I doubt my brother would like it very much.

Minx.

But you can hear the laugh in his voice. It fills your head and your chest, filling the void that always seems to be there when Azirel is not near. You rub your chest subconsciously, feeling that void a little more today knowing you’ll be seeing him in just a few short hours.

“Rhys will winnow us to the camps, won’t he?” You ask your mother.

“Yes dear, he’ll winnow you and Michaa first and then come back for me,” She tells you once more.

I want everything with you, Az.

I want it all too.

You smile to yourself, knowing he meant it. If only your father wasn’t the male that he was, maybe you’d be allowed to follow your heart. Free to love whoever you wished. Not be sold for breeding when the time came. But you were still young, only eighteen. Marriage was still a good while away, thanks to your mother convincing him you still had growing up to do. She was right in some ways.

“Pay attention to where you’re walking, Y/N,” your mother warned you, “Your Shadowsinger will still be there once we reach our meeting point.”

You blush ferociously, heat flooding your cheeks so much that it radiated from them. Michaa smiled and let out a little laugh. She knew too, of course. You two sat up late most nights, when you weren’t out flying together, and talked about the Shadowsinger and just how wonderful he truly is.

He’d seen such darkness already in his life, but yet his smile was still so beautiful it took your breath away. Sometimes that smile was reserved only for you. Sometimes you felt as if you were the only fae alive that got to see it, and you were okay with that. With the thought that he only smiled for you, and sometimes Cassian and Rhys. They were his bastard brothers after all. You were different though, you’d never seen him as a brother. From the moment you met him, as young as you were, you knew he was destined to be something else to you. You could already feel that strange tug in your chest, pulling you towards him.

I’ll see you soon, you promise him, sending images of the two of you curled up together into his mind.

You can practically feel him smiling against your skin, can practically feel him against you. You bite your lip, trying to regain control. But he seems to caress you in his mind, making you go weak in the knees.

You pull away from his mind, noting how he seems to leave a small spot open just for you to return whenever you feel like it. You smile to yourself as you continue to walk. You wished you were strong enough to winnow more than one person, so you could just winnow to the camps and be done with this walking.

But you weren’t far from the halfway point where you were supposed to meet Rhys. You would probably have to wait on him, seeing as he was apparently in the middle of training a new unit, but he would come for you one way or another. And he would take you to Azriel, whether he wanted to do so or not.

But the shadows swirled around you as you reached a clearing. Your mother and Michaa falling silent. The whole world fell silent it seemed like. The shadows swirled, reaching your ears as you sniffed the air around you.

Run, they said, run far and run fast.

“Mother?” You question, smelling several distinctly male scents lingering in the air.

She didn’t get the chance to reply before an arrow shot through her wings, causing her to scream out. You screamed too, seeing a flash of blonde hair in your vision, before arms came around you. Your wings vanished, too afraid of what might happen to them. But your mother, Cauldron, your mother’s wings.

They grabbed Michaa next, holding a blade to her throat. You felt the cold steel kiss your own neck as lips caressed your ear.

“Don’t scream,” He said into your ear, “Or I’ll slit your throat.”

You swallow thickly. Fear gripping every part of you. You forgot the training Cassian and Rhys and Azirel drilled into you. Forgot that you weren’t a helpless little girl, that you had powers too. But all you could think of was the fear that gripped you and the smell of blood, your mother’s blood. And the realization that you were going to die, one way or another.

You wake with a start, jolting up in your bed before hurtling yourself into the washroom nearby. You empty your stomach over and over again, before the sound of your bedroom door makes you stop. Cassian is by your side in an instant, rubbing your back.

“I have them too,” He confirms, “Every night.”

“I’m sorry I woke you,” You say softly, feeling the nausea fade.

“I was already awake,” He sighs, sitting down on the floor across from you, leaning against the bath, “I heard you scream.”

“It was that day,” You confide in him, “In the woods.”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” He tells you slowly, “I don’t want you to have to relive it.”

“I relive it every day. Everytime I close my eyes, it’s there.”

His eyes soften at you. He reaches a hand out for you to take. He’d been too far away that day to get anywhere near you. He couldn’t have made it even if Rhys called for him. He didn’t know it happened until it was too late. He made it to the clearing not long after Azirel and Rhys, having flown as quickly as he possibly could.

“It was Lucien,” You spoke after a long while, “I slept with Lucien.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” He replies softly, “You did what you had to do to survive.”

“I did it to survive,” You agree, in your own way trying to convince yourself, “It kept Tamlin from darkening my door.”

He sighs deeply, knowing you’d been through more than any of them. You watch as he gets to his feet, wings tucked in tight, and holds a hand out for you, “C’mon, let’s get you back in bed.”

You take his hand and allow him to pull you up before slowly walking you to your large bed. Big enough to accommodate wings, you realized. Big enough for more than one winged person. You had a lump in your throat, because once upon a time that was all you could’ve asked for.

You climbed into your bed, allowing Cassian to pull the covers up over you before he walked to the other side and crawled in.

“What are you doing?”

“Not leaving you alone,” He said gruffly, curling his arms around your stomach and pulling you to him, “We all know you slept better when Az was in your bed, but seeing as he’s at The House of Wind, being an ass, I’ll just have to do.”

You swallow and nod. Trying to fight the blush on your cheeks at his admission. You knew, of course, that he knew about you and Az. He hadn’t made his knowing very secret over the years. But was always smart enough to lose his tongue whenever your father was around.

Now he didn’t have to worry about that. Your father was dead. You didn’t mourn him the way you mourned your mother. You didn’t feel the need to mourn him in that way. He wasn’t a loving man. He was the opposite of your mother.

“Why won’t you fly?” Cass asked softly.

“It hurts too much to try and summon my wings now,” You tell him honestly. It seemed that tonight would be the night to let all of your secrets go.

“Hurts too-”

You cut him off by rolling over onto your front, your nightgown cut low enough in the back to reveal two long scars stretching down your back. You know the moment Cass saw them, because he went rigid and sucked in a deep breath. He reached out, fingers carefully brushing the top of the scars.

“Hurts in more than one way,” You confirm, “Emotionally, and physically. The scars are thick, right where the wings should be.”

“You didn’t heal?”

“Faebane.”

He rolls you back over so you’re on your back now. You refuse to look up at him, refuse to meet his eyes. You can feel him staring at you though, you can almost feel his emotions rolling off of him in waves.

You shake your head and roll back over on your side, “I’m tired.”

You feel him nod behind you before wrapping you back up in his arms. You melt into his arms, missing the feeling of being held by someone. Maybe that’s why you turned to Lucien all of those years ago. He was there and he was in pain too, and needed someone to help him move on. He was sweet and gentle and not at all like his ruthless brothers, or Tamlin.

It just seemed to work between the two of you. There was no love between you, no true feelings. It was physical, and that was it. He would occasionally try to go to bat for you against Tamlin, but much like how he was with Feyre, he would never really push his friend for fear of what would happen.

You fall asleep quickly, and do not dream again.

You wake in the morning to the sound of a door opening and a low growl. Fear rips through you and you refuse to move. Even as arms retract from around you, even as the male next to you sits up in the bed.

“You don’t get the option of being mad,” you almost let out a sigh of relief at Cassian’s voice.

You were in the Night Court, you were safe.

“You’re in her bed,” Azriel growls.

“All because you weren’t here,” Cassian shrugs, or you assume he does, “She needed you, and you were sulking because she did what she had to in order to survive.”

“You know nothing about what she did,” Az growls again.

“They carved her back,” You feel Cassian shudder in the bed, “Two long lines, right where her wings should be, like they carved her up trying to get to them.”

You wanted to tell them that he was right. That’s exactly what they did. They carved you up like a piece of meat trying to find your beloved wings. The thought made you want to vomit again. But you refused, you refused to let them see you like that again.

“Get out of her bed.”

“Brother, you know I’m only here to help her,” Cassian said softly, “She needed someone. Preferably you, but I made do.”

The bed dipped as Cassian got up, leaning over long enough to brush a kiss on your forehead. It’s a simple gesture, but he’d been doing it since you were a small child, maybe even before then.

“It was Lucien Vanserra,” Cassian said softly at the door, “Which I thank the Mother for. Because at least he still had a heart, before Amerantha came. For all he’s worth, he was a good male, once upon a time.”

Azirel growls again and shuts the door in Cassian’s face. Az’s shadows make their way towards you, curling around your body as Az slowly moves closer. You know they’ll tell him that you’re awake, but maybe he’ll ignore them and let you continue this farce.

“I’m sorry,” He said pulling a chair up to the edge of your bed, “I should have handled things better yesterday.”

You finally peel your eyes open to see him leaning over, hands folded on your bed. You want to reach for those hands, those beautifully scarred hands. You wanted to kiss them again, like you used to do all those years ago. But it didn’t feel right anymore.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did,” You admit, “It was wrong of me. I aimed to hurt you, and that’s something I promised I’d never do.”

His head shook slowly, “I hurt you too. I promised I wouldn’t let you go. And instead I turned my back on you the second you said something I didn’t like.”

You prop yourself up on your elbows and reach over to brush a few strands of hair out of his eyes. You missed his eyes, so telling to you and cold to everyone else. The Shadowsinger of the Night Court, violent, cold, and deadly, yet so soft and warm to you.

“I love you, Azriel,” You admit softly, feeling his shadows gather on your back.

You knew what they were doing, even if he didn’t, but you didn’t try to stop them. He would want to see them eventually. But not this morning. Not when you already felt so laid bare in front of him.

“I know you do,” He leans forward to kiss you, “I love you too. C’mon, Rhys said he should be back today. And Mor is waiting downstairs to eat breakfast with us.”

So you find yourself sipping on coffee and eating a rich pastry with Mor when Rhys, and a very soaking wet Feyre and Amren slam into the floor of the living room. You all shoot to your feet. Moving towards the three quickly.

“What the hell happened?” You questioned.

“I’d like to know the same thing,” Rhys stated.

“Did you get it?” Is all Mor can think to say.

“Get what?” Your head rips to her and then back to Rhys.

“Nothing.”

“No!” You yell, “Not nothing! Obviously not nothing. What happened in Summer?”

And then you hear it, you hear the book.

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kamig4mes · 3 days

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We need friendship headcannons with kisski and hanma it can be seperated or as an trio,you can make one platonic and one as an love interest i dont really care!!!

I'm still excited that you made this request, anon bc this duo has been making eyes at me these days. I thought about kisakixhanmaxfem!reader. I'm so sorry for the wait!! I hope u like it, nd enjoy it!

#pov: friendship headcanons with Kisaki and Hanma (platonic/love interest)

★ warnings: fem!reader, realistic hc, fluff, funny, friendship, love interest, established relationship, platonic facts, school mention

→ a/n: H&K = Hanma and Kisaki

—friendship (+ platonic facts)!

The three go and return together wherever they go, both boys coming to pick you up at the entrance of your house and leaving you at the same even when classes are over! This pair makes sure you're in one piece by the end of the day.

The races to determine the unnecessary speed between you are never lacking. A few meters to enter the school, Hanma challenges them to a race to see who gets there first and you accept, and as always you do the countdown.

"Alright! in your marks, read-.. HUH?!

And before you know it Hanma took the dirty lead by shooting out first, taking the lead and leaving you biting the dust

"STOP, STUPID CHEATER!"

You run in search of him screaming complaints between laughs trying to reach him while Kisaki just keeps walking at his pace like the normal person he is, catching up with them minutes later.

At least three times a month they attend karaoke together. They try to use all the power of friendship possible to convince Kisaki to go together, trying not to upset him with his nonsense the previous days. After two attempts, the blonde accepts, renting the most minimal time rate they have to stop listening to the stormy concerts that you and Hanma give it.

It's natural for Hanma to bother you every day, almost as if that's his mission in this life. Sometimes it makes you very angry, is Kisaki who intervenes asking to stop. But once both stoics made you cry out of pure rage so you stopped talking to them for a whole week. They both spent that time following you around in silence and apologizing by buying your favorite sweets.

Hanma accompanies you to almost any nonsense you can think of, until it puts the three of them in a bad position. The bicolor loves the adrenaline rush, but if he feels that his asses can end up in difficult problems to handle he absolutely aborts the mission.

H&K are your protectors. Whether with intimidating looks/postures or verbal threats, both guys make it clear to everyone that you are their best friend and they can't try any moves on you. Yes, that's the way they are.

That's why Valentine's Days were really sad for you because, for some alien reason, you didn't receive any gifts or letters that day. Much less declarations of love or anonymous confessions. NOTHING. And the reason is that in reality, H&K were furtively responsible for eliminating (not literally) anyone who tried to make any move on you regarding the date, the two allying themselves to scare away and intimidate.

"I'm sorry, brat" explains the bicolor blocking the way to the classroom to the boy one grade below you "this girl is already busy"

"B-but I-"

"And don't try anything behind our backs, or you won't want to regret it later," Kisaki muttered, making the poor trembling boy pass out loud saliva when he clattered his knuckles noisily.

This is how your two best friends were always there to comfort you and fill that void of the day with walks or gifts only from them.

The three of them would run away from classes, but only when they are extremely bored of listening to the teacher.

H&K care a lot about your health, even if it doesn't seem like it. They offer you water or some nutritious drink, buy you breakfast and even make sure that you don't consume a lot of fried foods or sweets.

Their jobs are close to each other, so it's easy for the three of them to meet at a specific place and then stop by for a drink or just walk home.

—(+) platonic facts!

The first time H&K saw you wearing a swimsuit for a beach meet-up that you organized with your friends, they gasped. Kisaki felt that her face would explode because of how good your body looked while Hanma quickly glanced at you every time you passed by him.

H&K are the kind of guy in love who contemplates you at every opportunity he can. Kisaki by his observant and discreet nature manages to spy without being seen by anyone while Hanma does it blatantly without caring if it's very obvious or not. You actually caught him once seeing you, and his reaction was to let out a little giggle and look away when he realized that you caught him. You could notice the soft blush on his cheeks.

They enjoy taking pictures of you doing random things. Especially Hanma (he has a whole album of you and kisaki on his phone), and only occasionally Kisaki warns for a good take.

"Take out your phone, Shuji"

"Huh? And for what the hell-?"

"Look over there, is y/n"

Kisaki points at you covertly, and the two-tone nods, catching his friend's intention as he quickly pulled out his phone. Seconds later the flash does its job. They both smile seeing you captured on the screen.

"Good angle" celebrates the blonde "very cute.."

"Yea' she looks fcking beautiful"

Yes, whether it's taking you or going to pick you up, taking a walk to the park for a while and things like that, at first H&K keep track of which one of the two has to share time with you. That's why it's not uncommon for you to feel that they take turns.

Kisaki would leave you a lot of small gifts throughout the week anonymously because he is embarrassed to deliver them to you in person. At first you thought it could be a stalker with ninja skills because you couldn't catch him in the act, but soon (and in the dumbest way) you found out it was the blond one (I have a little pov for this hc, I'll upload it after this!)

—love interest!

Hanma calls you "baby" most of the time, and would use adorable nicknames like "babydoll" or "fcking princess" just to annoy you. I'm not sure with Kisaki, I think "honey" might work for him. But both of them, without a doubt, call you "darling" a lot of the time.

Hanma, unlike Kisaki, is more concerned about your feminine needs. I feel like he has a sharper sense for that kind of thing. On the other hand, you can safely entrust the financial part to Kisaki because that man will cover all your whims.

Maximum princess treatment with some moments of rough love (the latter courtesy of Shuji Hanma). They like to pamper and pamper you a lot, just allow yourself to enjoy it.

On dates YES OR YES the three of you go together. And the one who is usually planning spontaneous outings is Hanma. For more important events that require more planning (such as special dates) Kisaki takes care of, for the rest of the outings/appointments he just gets carried away by the rhythm of you two.

Their plans for an intimate afternoon is to warm up the three of them together between sheets and sweets while watching eternal marathons of movies or documentaries (hanma falls asleep after two films and you always wake him up before the marathon ends so that Kisaki doesn't notice).

Their first date as official couples was at an amusement park by your decision. It was quite an exhausting day for the three of them but they would be able to repeat it a thousand more times if with that they manage to see the exact definition of happiness in each other's smiles again.

When you and Hanma start a tickle fight, you run away in the direction of Kisaki's private studio hiding behind him because he never allows Hanma to enter that place. And you know it very well. That place is your safe zone. But once you take one foot out of there your immunity ends, and Hanma makes sure to get revenge by cornering you between the sofa and him with no escape option. Kisaki gives a soft smile when he hears them laughing in the distance.

At the same time, you and Hanma are good partners, teaming up as an unconscious act to make fun of anything Kisaki says or does.

Broadly speaking Kisaki in a refined, calculating, thoughtful, more elegant and formal type than any ordinary person. In this way he manages to keep his surroundings (and his inner world) under control and at peace. But unfortunately Kisaki can not go against the hyperstimulated souls of their partners. So when a situation in which his presence is completely protagonist and necessary gets stressed. Specifically because the ideas you and Hanma come up with can become terrifyingly exhausting for him. Going to fairs, concerts, parties, birthdays and similar events these are some examples.

Kisaki harbors a buttery side that melts faster when she's resting in your arms, whether you're stroking her hair or listening to her thoughts out loud. Not with this he says that he loves you more than Hanma, only you transmit to him a greater warmth and security compared to the noisy and annoying immature actions of the languid boy. Hanma, in turn, gets cheesier when she's alone with you. He feels that he can release his more cloying cuteness with you because he knows that you tolerate that kind of treatment more, and that you are not going to reject him or get irritated like it happens when he tries to be the same way with Kisaki. Still, none of you have preferences, all three of you love each other equally.

Hanma shows them how much he loves them and how important they are to him by spending quality time together: walks in the fresh air, outings to eat, watching movies at the cinema or at home, playing with board games/video games, etc. Anything that allows him to share his time with the two of you he will put into practice. Kisaki, on the other hand, applies physical contact: hands on the waist, caressing sessions, linked fingers, kisses on random areas of the body, massages, etc. In these ways Kisaki tries to convey to both of you all the love and appreciation he feels for you two, showing you a side that he doesn't have with anyone else.

Of course, this pair is a dangerous bombshell of jealousy and possession. Oh yeah, anyone who tries to step out of the line or even flirt with you won't have any functional organ or limb left to tell about it.

They also don't like to share you with others, no matter if it's your family or friends. Hanma is the most impatient and impulsive of the three, he won't even spend two hours when he's already holding your hand to take you with him and get you out of wherever you are without letting you properly excuse yourself. Kisaki is more patient and serene, entertaining his mind with other things until he can't stand it anymore and demands that you return by means of a call or he just goes to look for you. You better not ignore this couple when jealousy gets the better of them, or you're not going to have a great time afterwards.

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calaverage · 2 days

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[Someone was calling Cal's phone. They recognized the number. Fuck...they had been dreading this moment. They had really hoped that they would be back before it happened. They answer the call, putting all their energy into make their voice sound normal.]

Hey! I can't talk for long. What's up?

...

Oh. They did. Guess there's no getting out of it then, huh?

...

Yeah yeah I know. It'll be nice to see you and Gran again at least.

...

...I've been fine. I'm, uh, I might have finally gotten top surgery.

...

Thanks. I will in a couple days once everything has healed more.

...

She's never happy with me that wasn't going to change. Now at least I can start being happy with me.

...

...yeah, I'll see you then. I love you, Sammy.

[The call ends. Despite not being in their more human form, Cal can feel a burning sensation in their throat. They hover in the void, their static form curling in on itself. They wish they had the energy to cry properly, but they were too numb to do anything more than buzz.]

#hatchetfield rp #free to interact however you want!

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angel-minhee · 11 hours

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SWEET NOTHINGS

ミ★ ### : “your sweet nothings make me feel loved”

PAIRING(S) poly!ot7!enhypen x fem!addedmember!oc WARNING(S) crying. indication of hate comments. reassurance. fluff. angst. WC 623 [back to library]

SUNGHOON COULD TELL SOMETHING WAS OFF WITH MINHEE. To him, it was evident by the way she sat against the head of her bed in complete silence.

“You’re so beautiful.” Sunghoon nuzzled his head against Minhee’s, his eyes closed as he sunk into the space between her neck and shoulder.

“My Minhee,” He placed small kisses along her neck, his arms wrapping tight around her waist as he tugged her closer. “You’ll always be safe with me.”

Minhee sat still, her eyes staring blankly into the mirror adjacent to her. Her fingertips twitched in her lap, her phone tight in her hold as the device non-stop buzzed, notifications flooding in.

“Is that all I am?” Sunghoon’s movements paused, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes snapped open in shock. Minhee lightly bit her lip as she watched his reaction in the mirror.

“Am I only beautiful?” It was evident that she’d been questioning herself for a while, her voice delicate as she spoke on her newfound insecurities.

Minhee knew she was beautiful, everyone did. But sometimes it felt like her beauty was the only thing everyone ever saw. No matter how hard she tried, or how long she practiced her vocals, everyone only ever saw her exterior.

“No, you’re so much more.” Minhee’s eyes watered, lips trembling as the unavoidable tears burned across her vision.

Sunghoon pulled his head away from the younger girl, one of his arms detaching from her waist to push her hair from her face.

“You’re so smart,” The soft look in his eyes matched the ones coming from his lips, “I've never met anyone who could feel as deep as you.”

The silence in the room could’ve been the most comforting thing Minhee had ever experienced. She could hear nothing but Sunghoon’s soft breathing, her favourite lullaby.

“Don’t get me started about how talented you are,” He jokingly rolled his eyes, his teeth on display as his finger caressed her wet cheeks, “your voice alone could move an entire room to tears.”

Minhee softly shook her head, a soft pout on her lips as the burning behind her eyes grew stronger. “Then why does everyone only talk about my face?”

Sunghoon sadly smiled at his girlfriend, his voice coming out smaller than hers. “I don’t know, Minhee.” He wasn’t going to try to sugarcoat anything, he knew that she would appreciate his honesty the most.

“But Me? I’ll always tell you everything I love about you, we love about you.” Sunghoon nodded towards her closed door, a light giggle leaving her lips at a sudden creak.

“You’re more than your body, I’ll keep telling the world that until they realize it.” Sunghoon pressed his lips against the side of her mouth, his cheek resting against her own.

And Minhee believed him.

Neither idols flinched as the door swung open, rapid footsteps coming towards the two of them. “I can’t believe you’re cuddling without me!” Sunoo dramatically gasped, his body pressing against Minhee’s other side as he squeezed himself onto her bed.

Heeseung stood at the end of the bed, his face void of emotion as he watched everyone gather around their sullen girlfriend.

“Jake, pass me Minhee’s phone.” Jake grabbed the phone after Minhee shot him a small nod, passing it into their eldest member's hands.

Minhee closed her eyes, the stress of her limbs melting as the presence of her boyfriends surrounded the room.

Minhee knew that the comments would never stop but at least she now had the reassurance of the boys around her. The reassurance that she actually mattered, that she was more than just a pretty face.

She’d take their sweet nothings over the degrading comments any day, this is where she was truly loved.

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entomolog-t · 2 hours

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Random post, but its been on my mind for weeks now. I get lots of asks talking about people being lurkers in the g/t world, or when people finally dive in, lots of us mention just lurking around the community for years. At the end of the day, it's your comfort level, and all the power to you, but let me do my lil car salesman pitch to any lurkers who happen upon this.

The g/t community is small. I see fantastic art on here that will get 200-400 notes, maybe break 1000 if you're lucky. Writing? Typically under 100 notes, with the occasionally popular story getting a little more. On any given one it's usually just a handful of comments, if that. I've seen a lot of amazing creators come and go, just feeling like "What's the point?" Or that they're shouting into a void.

Your participation in a community, regardless of if you create or not, brings with it that little boost of appreciation and support. In such a small community, you're able to engage with creators far easier than in larger spaces. I remember just reading and saving pictures to my phone years ago. Just casually enjoying g/t by myself and thinking that was all I wanted. But there's nothing like actively participating- making friends, having people build on your little ideas, and being able to tell creators how much you enjoy their stuff.

We've all been lurkers, but just know that if and when you're ready to interact, people will be happy just to have you here.

#ive seen a lot of new gt accounts lately and it makes me smile #g/t community

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damn-stark · 2 days

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Chapter 37 Strong heart

Chapter 37 of Sugar

A/N- I hope you guys like it :) I liked writing this chapter

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, FLUFF, violence and blood, talks of DEATH, and pregnancy, flashback, SPOILERS!!!! long chapter!

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Episode and or chapters- Chapter 243 to chapter 253

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

Choso’s not responding, why is he not responding?

You take a step closer but stop out of fear that you’ll meet up with a corpse.

“Ch…” You trail off in a quivering voice and continue watching his unmoving body.

Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be gone, please…

You force yourself to go to him, but you head to him slowly because your fear of losing him is polluting your mind. After all, when you found Suguru last year he was on the ground, bleeding out, barely alive, and missing an entire arm. What if you come across that horrifying scene again, but this time you don’t even get to say goodbye?

“Choso?” Your voice comes out hoarse as your need to cry weakens it. “Choso?”

You cast a shadow over him as you stop a foot away from him because you’re scared if you get too close you won’t hear him breathe.

“Choso?” You basically plead.

And this time, at last, you catch his fingers shift on the ground—but! Does that mean he’s okay? You see a lot of blood staining his clothes, and two giant fist-sized holes on the back of his vest.

Choso then slowly lifts his head and you hold your breath when you meet his honey-imbued eyes. He mutters your name as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing, and his pupils dilate as he keeps watching you with the rays of the sun shining around your head like a glorious halo.

You step closer and pull the worm cursed-spirit off your shoulders to try and crouch, but Choso pushes himself up and that’s when you freeze completely because of the two gaping wounds you see close to his side. You can’t see through them, it seems like they went all the way through since there’s holes on his back, but there’s raw flesh now that makes his wound look like two dark voids.

“Choso,” you gasp.

Said man doesn’t seem to believe you’re real, he just studies your face as if he’s admiring some painting for a lingering moment before he lunges forward and throws his arms around you.

And you can't believe his chest was moving with signs of life, that you're actually looking into his pretty eyes until you feel his warmth and his strong arms around you. “Choso,” you whisper in disbelief and cling onto him.

“My love,” he whispers. “You’re okay. You’re safe, you’re back to me.”

His voice is so comforting, so soft and soothing. You wish you could say it kills the fear you felt clinging onto your heart, but you won’t stop being afraid about his well-being until you’re walking out of this fight hand in hand.

“You’re alive,” you point out to yourself. “Why didn’t you answer me? I was calling out your name?”

Choso pulls back and grabs onto your jaw to tilt your head and then step back to study your body for any wounds he might’ve missed.

“I’m okay,” you assure him as you watch his eyes roam your body. “We’re okay, Kenjaku didn’t even touch me.”

Choso’s eyes snap to you and he doesn’t seem to believe you, so you grab his hand and yank it down to put over your belly. “Remember you can feel them. They’re okay, yes?”

Choso holds your gaze as he searches within himself for the confirmation over the twins' status. And once he’s assured that they’re okay just like you told him, he sighs with relief and once again holds your face with both hands to check you out one more time.

“I’m okay,” you whisper and caress his shoulder with a sweet smile.

He lets out a deep breath and nods in comprehension, and as he stays attached to you, you slip your hands down to his chest with a smile still glued to your face, and then shove him back with your face quickly twisting to show your anger.

“You scared me!” You scold him. “I kept calling out to you, I texted you twice and you didn’t answer me. I thought…I…” you trail off and swiftly turn on your heels to catch your breath and stop yourself from crying.

You already cried so much today, that you don’t want to keep crying.

“I’m sorry,” Choso quickly tries to comfort you. “I just didn’t want you to see me hurt. I wanted to heal before you got to me, I’m sorry,” he whispers those last two words as he grabs your shoulder.

You turn your face away and lift your hand to gnaw on your nail. “How…how did it happen?” Your voice comes out muffled.

Choso sighs. “Sukuna surprised me. He was too fast, I tried to use piercing blood, but from one second to another he was before me and jammed his hands through me.”

Any higher and he would’ve hit his core, and his heart, Choso was close to death, he could’ve died. You were close to being a widow once again, you were close to having to live without him.

“I should’ve been more careful,” he adds sincerely.

Yes, and no. He was just trying to help the best he could, he didn’t expect to get hurt the way he did, but you can’t help but be upset because he was so close to death.

“You,” you spat and snap your head around to pierce your glare at him, but when you meet his guilt-filled eyes, when you see the life in his eyes your anger falls and your relief completely takes over, making you throw your arms around his neck instead.

“I’m happy you’re okay,” you whisper in his ear. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Choso balls your clothes as he grabs onto your back and breaks the truth. “We’re still not done yet.”

Your breath trembles, but you don’t let his comment bring you down. “I know but let me just appreciate you’re okay for now.” You say and snuggle your face in the crook of his neck.

Choso hums and keeps holding you for as long as you need until you remember what you have and pull apart with a smirk. “I have something I need to give you,” you clue him in even though he might have an idea.

You then walk over to pick up the worm cursed spirit and drape him around your shoulders before you reach towards his mouth. “Now, I’ll tell you what I told Shoko, I’m sorry for the way it’s brought over, I just didn’t want to carry this around in my hand,” you tell him and pull out the jar with Kenjaku’s brain. “This is yours,” you let Choso know, and assure him that his father is gone once and for all. “You and your brother can rest easy now that he won’t be roaming this earth.”

Choso clenches his jaw and anger passes behind his eyes, but it’s all then quickly replaced by relief, and then lastly sorrow that brings tears to the corner of his eyes. And you can’t imagine it’s sorrow for his father's death, he hated his father, so it must be sorrow born from joy more than anything; joy that at long last a monster who terrorized him, his brothers, and his mother is finally gone.

It was all thanks to you.

“Your mother and your brothers can rest now too,” you tell him softly. “He won’t torment anyone anymore.”

Choso looks at you and his eyes gleam with awe and joy. “Thank you,” he muses as he takes the jar. “Thank you for doing this for me and for my family.”

You offer him a gentle smile and reach over to wipe a tear off his cheek. “You welcome and if it wasn't just me, it was Okkotsu too, but you are welcome.”

Choso grabs your hand to give it a gentle squeeze, and as he holds your gaze the love he has for you only heightens and grows more passionate and tender. He also thanks the stars and fate for letting your paths intertwine.

“What will you do with it?” You ask Choso, making him snap from his stupor to glare at the brain with a seething anger.

“Burn it,” he sneers, “and then I’ll disintegrate those ashes until there’s nothing left. I don’t want to give him even the slightest chance of coming back, especially not now that we're going to have children.”

You hum and nod in comprehension.

“I wish I could do it now,” he grumbles, “but it seems we don’t have the time.”

He looks up at you and pushes the jar towards you. “Can you keep it safe until I can get rid of it?”

You take the jar from his hand and assure him without hesitation. “Of course I can.”

You return the jar to the Worm so he can keep it safe within him for now.

“Did you…” Choso pauses, making you look back at him with a soft curious look—“recover Suguru Geto’s body?”

You blink in surprise and avert your gaze to nod. “Yes,” you respond quietly. Again not out of shame, you just don’t know how much you should talk about Suguru with Choso.

“Shoko says she can mend the wounds we left him and get rid of the those nasty stitches Kenjaku left,” you share with a faint smile, and when you look over you see Choso struggling to keep his eyes on you.

It’s probably just as awkward for him as it is for you.

“That’s good. Satori will be able to look at her father one last time without thinking about Noritoshi,” he says what you thought about too. “And you,” he pauses. “Will be able to put him to rest too.”

You sigh and nod. “Yeah,” you mumble. “I know…It’s not weird, is it? Talking about him?”

Choso keeps his eyes on his hand clutching onto his wound and blinks before he shakes his head. “No…it’s just…strange, but it’s something I know shouldn’t bother me.” He finally looks over at you and looks at you with a guilty look. “Don’t think you have to avoid talking about him in front of me…I understand he was your husband. You loved him.”

You hold his gaze as you feel your heart envelope in warm bliss and awe that could almost mend your shattered heart.

“You’re sweet,” you coo and grab his chin with your thumb and pointer finger to lean in and press a gentle peck on his lips. “This is why I love you.”

The corner of Choso’s pink lips tug up and his hand cups your wrist to caress your skin and send waves of comfort throughout your aching body.

“Now,” you change the subject as you slide your hand over to take his hand. “Why don’t we go sit so you can finish healing before we meet up with Yuji? I have something to show you.” You bounce your eyebrows and flash him a giddy grin.

Choso studies you and this sudden burst of excitement that he knows isn't just caused by anything, there’s a specific reason behind your outburst and he assumes one thing. “Did Satori send you something?”

You walk him toward a nearby wall since there’s no benches anywhere nearby.

“No,” you tell him and peer back at him with your lips and eyes hard to read. “Manami and Toshihisa were going to keep her distracted all day today. I didn’t want to risk having her catch a glimpse of the broadcast. So she’s too busy having fun.” You assume, but you also know that it’s not too far-fetched considering who’s taking care of her.

“It’s something else,” you tease him and sit you both down on the cold ground and press your backs against the wall. “Are you ready?” You only begin to excite him now.

“I don’t know if I should be,” Choso remarks nonchalantly.

You giggle as you pull out your phone and meet his gaze to pass him a giddy look that causes a gleam to spark in your eyes, and makes his heart skip a beat.

“Shoko checked on me after I got back,” you begin to explain to him as you surf on your phone until you find the video you just took of the twin's heartbeat—“and she heard this.”

You press play and push the phone near him so he can see the screen, even if it’s just Shoko pressing the wand against your belly.

At first, though Choso doesn’t seem to understand what he hears, he thinks that the two running hearts are just your own heart racing too fast.

“I don’t—” just before he can express his concern though his mouth goes agape and his eyes widen.

“It’s their heartbeats,” you make it clear so he can process the news faster. “It’s Suki and…”

“…Tsukuyomi,” Choso finishes for you, making you beam at him and nod in confirmation. He then carefully takes the phone from you to pull the phone closer to his ear.

“That’s them, that’s their hearts,” he muses.

You watch as his eyes cloud with blissful tears, and his smile spreads with a tender adoration dancing on his lips.

“They sound strong,” you repeat what Shoko told you. “They have strong hearts.”

Choso tears his eyes away from the video and looks at you with even more tenderness that softens his eyes and makes his eyes glimmer. “Just like you,” he whispers confidently because out of all the things he knows, he knows he’s more than sure about that.

You hear it, the sincerity behind his tone and you can’t help but also redirect it at him. “And you.”

Choso’s smile fills with more admiration and he responds by leaning in and pressing a kiss on your forehead.

You smile softly with glee and take his hand before you rest your head on his shoulder and listen to the video one more time to use that as a sliver of joy in this storm of agonizing sorrow.

After Choso plays the video a couple more times he rests his head on yours and gently squeezes your hand in the silence he keeps. You can’t help but keep smiling as you think about your dream of growing your family, of raising your children the way you wanted to be raised and loving them with your husband who loves you unconditionally.

What more could you ask for—

Oh…

Satoru…right.

No matter what he was always in your future, even if you imagined him distant when you didn’t talk, he was still there in the background of your dreams. Now…where he once was is replaced by a black void that slowly swallows everything and leaves you hopeless for the future.

“Once this is done,” you break the silence to avoid drowning in your grief. “The snakes will lash out at the Gojo clan.”

“What do you mean?” Choso probes a bit confused.

“They won’t accept my daughter as their leader so they’ll try and replace her with one of my male cousins most likely,” you explain and already start to feel irritated.

“Even if your brother left in his will that he wants Satori to be leader after him?”

You nod. “Yeah, one, my daughter wasn't raised with the Gojo’s, two she's a woman, and three her last name is Geto and she didn’t inherit her father's technique.” You sigh but smirk mischievously. “Not like it really matters, sure it’s annoying, but I’ll go chop off a few heads to make them listen, and if Satori chooses not to be leader, well, I’ll take her place and pass on the title to one of our children. Hence following the procession of the clan with my line.”

That will surely teach your family for mistreating you!

You love being spiteful.

“Are you sure?” Choso surprises you by asking.

You pull away from his side and meet his gaze with a serious and determined pointed look. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” you swear.

Choso didn’t want to try and argue or convince you that it was a bad idea, all he needed was to ask if that’s what you really wanted to do. Now that he has his answer he’ll leave it be and let you do as you please and what best suits your daughter, and your brother's wishes because it’s what he would do too if he was in your shoes.

“I know it hasn’t been long, but how’s your wound?” You interject as you turn around to sit on your knees and grab his vest and robe to pull it aside so you can check out his wound yourself.

“I feel better,” he tries to assure you, even if you look at his wound right now and see that it’s still pretty deep. They’re not as deep as before, but they’re not near closing yet. However, you know you can’t reason with Choso, not when Yuji is still in commission, as well as you. You would need to knock him out cold to get him to sit back.

“Cho,” you still try to argue regardless. “I see—”

“I’m okay, I can keep fighting,” he cuts you off a bit harshly so you won’t try and argue again. “Don’t worry about me right now.”

You drop your eyes to the two holes in his flesh and groan before you steal a glimpse at his blood-stained abs and let his clothes go to fall back into his place.

“We should…find Yuji,” you bring up a bit begrudgingly. Only because you wish he’d heal 150 percent.

“That’s what I was thinking,” he says as he stands on his feet.

“That’s what I was thinking,” you mock under your breath as you follow him up.

Alas, he catches you and slowly cranes his head back to look at you with his thick eyebrows furrowed.

You sass him and shoot him a pointed look that makes him scoff before he steps aside to let you walk ahead as he keeps an eye out from behind.

However, he’s not looking out for Yuji, he’s watching out for trouble that might try and catch you off guard. Even if Sukuna is fighting alone and he has no reason to come after either of you unprovoked, it would still be stupid to not be looking over your shoulders.

“I hope you know the moment you get hurt I will throw you over my shoulder,” Choso proclaims, making you smirk and look back at him.

“Oh really?” You say teasingly, causing his eyes to snap to you, however he doesn’t catch your flirtatious smile.

“Really,” he says seriously.

Your smirk deepens and your voice turns silkier. “Why don’t you try it out right now? Just show me how you’ll do it, hm?”

Choso blinks and is finally hit with the realization of what you’re really getting at. “Oh…well…I can show you,” he tries his best to hit you back with something flirty just as smoothly as you.

“I might argue,” you say and come to a stop so he can fall right behind you, to the point his chest grazes your back—“what will you do then?”

Choso swallows thickly and glances at your lips, making you steal a glimpse at his own before you turn around and show him an example with a short kiss.

“There’s one way to keep me quiet or…?” You trail off so he can finish.

“Or,” he trails on as he holds your gaze completely star-struck. “I can,” he pauses and raises his hand to let it hover over your mouth and make sure you’re okay with what he’s doing. When he notices that you aren’t protesting, and keep waiting with a smirk on your face, Choso gently presses his hand against your lips and slowly lets his thumb graze over your bottom lip as he holds your gaze.

Your heart skips a beat with excitement and his pounds, but even as he stands there nervously he still gently penetrates the tip through your lips. When he feels the warmth and wetness of your mouth he shoves his whole thumb in, making you suck gently before you pull away from his touch and laugh.

Not at him. Of course. You laugh with excitement, having forgotten for a moment what tormented you, and steal a passionate kiss that you savor before you press your forehead on his and grab the back of his neck.

Choso lets out a deep breath and cups your cheeks to caress your jawline with his thumb, making you lean your face towards one side to steal one more moment of comfort.

Just a short moment before you both pull away and continue down your path side by side.

After a few moments of walking, you finally come across Yuji on his knees in the middle of the highway with blood spilling out of his mouth. And just ahead you see only a glimpse of Maki and Sukuna before they disappear from your view. But even if he’s gone you still feel a chill run down your spine as you assume you’ll be facing him off soon now that you’re closer in his range…

Soon though, now you focus on Choso and his brother, and with a look alone you press Choso to help his brother.

And even if your husband understands what you mean he still hesitates. “What if I say the wrong thing? He said I’m not good at teaching, I don’t want him to get something wrong because of me,” he pauses and drifts his gaze away from Yuji to look at you with a soft pleading look. “Could you help him, remind him to take it slow?”

You glance at Yuji in distress and do have the need to help him, but if you were him all you’d want is your brother's help, even if it is a smidge of advice.

“He needs you,” you advise Choso. “Just don't over-explain it. Talk to him as if you were talking to Satori,” you say and rub his shoulders, but he doesn’t seem content with that so you come up with one more thing. “Ah! Just explain it to me and I’ll tell you if it's okay.”

Choso swallows back nervously but doesn’t hesitate this time, he draws out a deep breath and brings his hand up to press his thumb on your forehead. “Healing comes from here. All you need to do is just visualize. Watch it spread like roots,” he explains tenderly as he moves his thumb down. “Spread it everywhere and focus on mending what’s really wounded.”

Choso traces the veins down to your hand and stops when his thumb lands on your warm palm. And as he holds your hand his tenderness slowly twists to worry. “Was that okay?” Choso asks somewhat panicked.

You offer him a bright smile and nod. “That was perfect. I’m sure he’ll understand,” you assure him as you grab his hand with your free one to gently massage his palm.

Choso sighs deeply and glances at Yuji, still seeming to be spaced out and distressed on the ground. This time though, without hesitation Choso leaves your side and reaches his little brother.

“Take a breath,” you hear Choso guide Yuji as he presses his hand on his back. “Remember what you were taught. Visualize it. Allow the blood to spread throughout every corner of your body like roots. Visualize an outline of your body made with veins.”

You can’t help but smile in awe as you watch the interaction, as you watch how kind and patient Choso is with Yuji even if this is a moment of distress. You watch him being a caring old brother and once again you’re reassured of the fact that he’ll be a great father, and an even greater partner to raise your family with.

Once again as you watch him help Yuji you can’t help but count yourself lucky for having fate cross your paths.

——

Dear Satoru,

How does one relish in the peace gifted to them after so many died trying to get this far?

I can’t help but feel guilty about being happy and being able to live my life the way I dreamed of. Choso and Shoko tell me I shouldn’t feel bad for the dead anymore, but how can I look at Satori who's a couple of months away from turning 17? How can I look at my twins laughing and playing with their father, my youngest girl Amaterasu clinging onto her father hoping that somehow she could live in his skin so she wouldn’t be too far away from him. How can I watch my youngest son Ryusei get more and more curious about the world without feeling bad for those who sacrificed themselves and couldn’t live past another day of their lives?

I smile, I laugh, I’m grateful, but there’s always that twinge of guilt I feel in my heart—

“Turtle.” A little voice pulls your attention off your paper, and as you look up you see your youngest child Ryusei holding a weird turtle-shaped rock, but his 2-year-old mind has latched on to that word and is labeling everything and everyone turtle because it’s his favorite word of the week along with “no”.

You really hate the “no” phase, all five of your kids had it, so you’re more than glad that Ryusei will be your last child. You can’t handle any more terrible two phases…even if Choso is starting to hint at wanting another one.

You can’t handle it anymore though. As cute as they are and as much as you love newborn phases, all you want now is to just focus on the kids you have and be able to love your man in peace without having any more snotty kids interrupt you—with peace and love.

“No,” you correct Ryusei and take the rock from his hold to look at it because that’s what he wants you to do. “This is a rock. See? It doesn’t have eyes or a shell, silly.”

Ryusei reaches over to take back his rock and studies it as he carries it in his palm. The wheels in his mind spin as he thinks about what you said for a moment before he pouts just like his father, and nonchalantly drops the rock.

“No,” he argues and waddles away,

You hear a giggle behind you and as you slowly look back you catch Satori with her head up and grinning with amusement.

“He showed me his toy and said it was a turtle, when I corrected him he threw it at me and waddled away,” Satori shares between giggles, making you sigh and slouch.

“He’s the most hot-headed out of all of you, I don’t understand why,” you contemplate your child’s behavior.

Satori pushes her sunglasses down to shield her eyes and flashes a grin. “His grandfather. Probably.” She snickers.

“That’s still not funny ten years later,” you grumble and look away, finding the twins, Suki and Tsukuyomi, and your youngest daughter Amaterasu going towards the oceans shore without their father towing behind him, so as curious as to where he went, you drift your eyes away and find him on his feet where they all once were.

“Suki, Tsu, your brother is going over to you, hold his hand,” Choso warns the twins since they’re the oldest, and Amaterasu finds it in herself to argue as if she’s the one that was left in charge of her little brother.

“But the waves are not strong at all!”

She lacks responsibility because she’s the middle child, and she’s never in charge like Satori or the twins, so she’s turned lax.

“It doesn’t matter,” Choso counters his daughter. “He can still stumble.”

“You’re not even in charge Amaterasu,” Tsukuyomi snaps at his sister. “Why are you talking back?”

“I’m just pointing it out!” Amaterasu yells at her brother as she stomps her foot in the water around her ankles—“Gosh…” she trails off and you watch her mouth move as she seems to mumble something under her breath.

You sit back on your hands and watch all four of them with a little smile on your face.

They argue often; all five of them, over little things but they make up like nothing, they apologize quickly and go back to laughing and smiling at each other, and after some desecalations, you can’t help but smile over their bickering because it reminds of you and your brother.

When you were young—no, you argued all the time too, as they do, and made up just as fast. You got older and things happened that kept you two estranged, but you found your way back to each other. You don’t want your children to go through that same strain, but you want them to experience all the good and the bad about having each other. You want them to know that same bliss about having a sibling that you still hold onto all these years later...

You grin and feel tears prick at the corner of your eyes born from joy that you express in your letter.

—but never about my kids. I never feel guilty about having my kids and knowing that joy. They’re my blessings, they’re my everything. They’re the good piece of me, and a piece of my beloved, Choso. They’re even a piece of you, Satoru.

I see you in them all the time, in Suki, Tsukuyomi, and Ryusei’s white hair, in all their unbreakable spirits. So that’s one thing I can never ever be guilty about. Because of them, I feel like I will always carry a piece of you.

Is that cheesy?

Still, I want rid of this guilt annoying my heart like a splinter in your finger that you can’t pull out—

“Look,” Choso pulls you away from your train of thought getting engraved on paper, and first drifts your attention to the shadow he casts over you before you meet his honey-kissed brown eyes looking down at you tenderly—“a mochi I took from Ryu’s snack bag.”

You flash him a smile and take the half he offers you in your mouth. He then takes a seat on the sand next to you and keeps holding your gaze, letting you notice the red tint stamped over his nose and his cheeks.

“Cho,” you point out with your mouth full and lean over to grab his chin. “Did you put sunscreen on your face? You’re getting red.”

Choso blinks and thinks as he keeps looking at you, and when he seems to think back to a specific moment he groans and shakes his head. “Amaterasu needed help putting sunscreen on so I stopped just as I was about to apply some on my face. Sorry.”

You sigh deeply and first finish your mochi before you reach into your bag and pull out a bottle of sunscreen to press some on the tip of your fingers before you lean close to Choso, and gently massage some on his face.

“No matter what you still need to remember to put some on your face. You still burn.” You remind him sweetly.

The corner of his lips pulls to a tender smile as his eyes soften. “Why, when I can have you help me?”

You pause briefly to swoon before you leave a sweet peck on his lips and continue to protect his face from any further burning rays of the sun.

“Do you want some too, Satori?” You tease your teenage daughter in a baby voice.

“No,” she quickly rebuttals. “Thank you. I can put my own on.”

“Oh, but—”

“No,” Satori cuts you off before you can reminisce about her when she was a little girl, making you drop your hands off Choso’s face and pout.

Choso sees your flicker of sadness and strokes your chin.

No matter what though, no one will take away the sadness at watching your little girl only get older—it’s not a bad sadness you lament, you wish for her to only get older, but there’s always something about watching your kids get older that just gets you a little sad.

“She’s always the one arguing and always the one holding his hand,” Choso muses.

You follow his line of gaze and smile softly at the sight of Amaterasu pulling Ryusei up with her to jump over the small wave unfurling over the sand.

The little boy giggles and watches the next wave approaching before glancing at his sister as he anticipates the next wave he’ll jump over.

“Trying telling her that,” you quip lightheartedly.

Choso chuckles, making you look at him and only grin in admiration as his shoulders shake, and the sun makes his brown eyes twinkle as well as highlight that infinite joy he always has when watching his children just doing their own thing.

He always looks at his kids with pride, no matter what nothing takes away that love he looks at his kids with because he never wants his kids to feel the same way his own father made him feel; unloved and unwanted. It’s what makes Choso an excellent father, and it’s why you love having the honor of being Choso’s partner and having him be the father of your kids.

And it’s while you admire him and think about his big heart and the life you’re lucky to share, that you realize the answer to your question, going unaware that even after 10 years Choso has the need to steal glimpses at you to engrave every detail of your face as if it was the first time laying his eyes on you.

….I get it now. The answer to my guilt is living my life for those who died fighting. I’ll love for them and live so their sacrifice isn’t in vain.

Love, your beloved sister.

——

*2 MONTHS AGO*

“What is Gojo’s sister to you?”

“To me?”

The camera focuses on Yuji Itadori holding a half-bitten sandwich, and the person behind the camera nods in confirmation, making the pink-haired boy wipe his mouth and hum as he thinks before he sits up and responds honestly.

“Well to me she once was someone I had a crush on, I mean did you see her in magazines and on runways?!” He smirks and laughs lightly. “But now, she’s like my bodyguard. Gojo—oh our teacher, Gojo asked her to protect me from the people after me, so she turned out to be that which is cool. But you know how they say you should never meet your idols?” He sighs and takes a bite from his sandwich. “Yeah, that suits my situation…” He trails off and his eyes widen with panic, but before he can seem to correct himself the camera cuts off and displays three other students.

“Who is she to me?” Maki Zen’in repeats the question and scoffs with displeasure.

“Salmon!” Inumaki exclaims, making Panda nod as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“She tried killing us last year,” the black and white bear shares with a huff. “And she’s been the only person who’s been able to deflect Inumaki’s technique.”

“I heard she killed some members of her family a few years back,” Maki cuts in and makes the camera shift to focus on her. “She’s also a stain on the Gojo clan. The one fallen from grace, or so they say. I would say I admire her but she tried to kill us so she’s a killer.”

The clip cuts off and now they’re back inside facing Yuji Itadori with his sandwich and a panicked reaction.

“…not that I don’t think she’s not strong!” Yuji finally gets to explain himself before someone gets the wrong idea. “She’s strong and cool! And very beautiful, in Iike, an ethereal kind of way, like if you tell me to think of royalty, that’s who I picture her to be. But I guess it suits her considering who they say she is in the sorcerer community.” He says and flashes the camera a smile, leading to a smooth transition to some courtyard of some shopping center with a short-haired girl in the center.

“How many of these questions are you going to ask me?” Nobara Kugisaki asks as she puts on some sunglasses to block away the sun from shining in her eyes. “Anyway,” she speaks softly and with no ounce of deceit. “She’s someone I can say I admire regardless of all I hear about her because she’s proof that you can be both strong and a woman. She’s proof that we as women in the sorcerer society don’t have to fit into a stupid stereotype. Plus she dresses so cool even when she’s out on missions with Itadori, I want to dress like her.”

There wasn’t even a second of stepping into the dark side of your character, despite all that’s said about you, Nobara spoke from her heart and never thought of holding back to fit in with what others had to say about you.

The same could be said about Kento Nanami, albeit he might have some bias for you.

“First off,” Nanami directs at the camera even if watches the road ahead of him. “She has a name, she’s not called Gojo’s sister,” he scolds the interviewer and instantly counters by saying your full name to the camera before dipping into the question. “And she’s my one and only best friend, there’s no one I trust more than her…” he trails off to push his glasses up his nose and watch the road as he seems lost in thought.

The video may display a few seconds of passing time, but in truth, Nanami took a lot longer than that to continue, and even then he sounds quite pensive when he speaks about you.

“Besides being strong, and a bit egotistical like her brother, she’s extremely loyal, there’s no one you’d want more fighting beside you in a tough situation than her. She’s really a force to be reckoned with,” he says and finally glances at the camera with his eyebrows narrowed.

“Should you really be recording while I’m driving—”

The video is cut off and lastly, there’s one more clip left of a tall man with white hair and dark shades on his face.

“Well as everyone knows she’s my sister!” Satoru says in an almost teasing manner. “My little sister. She’s the only sibling I have, and you know being raised in an important clan like mine brings a lot of responsibility, but she made it all tolerable…” he smiles softly ahead and then he can’t help but smirk.

“I’m strong, the strongest there is, but,” he snickers. “I wouldn't go messing with her. There’s a reason she's a special grade, but she’ll be a pain in your ass, trust me. I wouldn’t underestimate her,” he trails on softly, and if anyone who really knew him heard him, they’d even say that he sounds full of admiration talking about his little sister. They’d also be able to see the softness painted on his face, but he has a good way to mask that to look smug in front of the camera.

“Oh!” He exclaims and claps his hands before he stops and turns, making the camera turn too to face him directly. Albeit he then surprises the camera as he leans in close as if the speakers or the camera wouldn’t capture what he has to say. “Despite what she wants you to believe she’s not scary. Don’t believe that crap,” he laughs and turns the camera off forcing the interview about you to end.

——

*NOW*

“Well,” there’s no avoiding it now or a continuous chance to be a backseat watcher. “Looks like it’s almost my turn…” you trail off and gulp before turning away from the disaster Sukuna and Maki are leaving in their fight.

You’d like to say you’re heading to this fight completely fearless, but your trembling hands and your pounding heart say otherwise.

“No one would blame you if you chose not to fight,” Yuji suddenly interjects, sounding like his big brother. “You have a big reason to stay behind.”

You blink in disbelief and slowly lift your head to watch him watching his hands turned to red claws. He doesn’t look up to meet your gaze when he feels it boring in him, instead, he watches his fists as if trying to find a fault in them.

“I’d blame myself,” you tell him as you approach him. “I’m strong and I’m powerful, but besides that, I’m fighting for something much bigger than myself.” You come to a stop and cast a shadow over his body hunched on the ground, and raise your hand to clutch onto the heart locket Choso gave you, the one that holds a picture of Nanako and Mimiko.

“Sukuna took something from me too,” you whisper and feel your fury boiling inside, but you also feel grief you have yet to really let your heart feel. “He took the girls who taught me how to love full heartedly, he took the girls who made me a mother. What mother would I be if I didn't try and get revenge for what he did? They were my daughters and he took them away.”

You let out a shaky breath, but you drop the tears that came with it. Instead, you actually proceed to meet Yuji’s brown eyes as he finally lifts his head.

“Oh,” he whispers shamefully. “That’s right. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head and crouch down to be at his level. “Keep your head up, kid. He hasn’t broken your spirit yet. You’ll break his. He may be a monster, but there’s still something in there you can crush. I know you’ll find it. You’re strong and brave, and you have a good heart.”

Yuji raises his head and swallows thickly, he parts his lips and seems to search for something within you. When he can’t seem to find what he’s looking for he sighs and mutters. “How did you do it? Find the strength to keep fighting after losing so much?”

“My daughter,” you bring up with hesitation but find it in yourself to try and find something he can relate to. “Considering you don’t have kids, then I’ll say this. I have faith in myself. It gets shaken, but it’s reliable. You have that too, that unbreakable faith. I see it.”

Yuji’s eyes soften and his chest rises as he draws in a deep breath. When his chest falls a half smile tugs on the corner of his lips. “Thank you,” he says hushedly.

You flash him a smile and gently pat his shoulder before you stand to your given height to face Choso who refuses to look at you, but still hangs onto every word you just told his brother.

“Cho,” you whisper and close the gap left between you to grab his arm crossed over his chest to turn him to face you. “Don’t be mad. We talked about this.”

Choso keeps his gaze pierced on the ground, so you lift your hands to grab his face and tilt his head up so you can meet those eyes you love so much.

“You can go pull me out of the fight if I get hurt,” you try to assure him, but his dark eyebrows pinch together and his eyes pierce into you before he retorts.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

You sigh and he finally unfolds his arms to clutch onto yours. “I can’t be okay with you going to risk your life,” he spills out what he had been keeping inside for so long. “I was okay with you facing my father because he was weaker than you, but Sukuna? He can kill you before I even have a chance to react. How do you expect me to be okay with that?”

You shake your head and counter softly. “I don’t expect you to be okay with it, I’m not okay with you being here either, but what choice do we have? And you heard me just now, my reasons to be here and fight him. You were with me the day I found them, and you were with me every day after that as I’ve mourned them. You know the thirst for revenge too, and you know it’s impossible to sit idly by until you know you’ve gotten justice for the ones you lost.”

Choso's lips curl to a deep displeased frown, and his eyes drop before he groans out of frustration because he knows you’re right. He’s known it, but he doesn’t want to see you go.

“I’ll be okay,” you reassure him as you tilt your head so you can keep holding his gaze, so you can keep holding onto that warmth and keep it within you when you go out there and fight. “I’ll make it back. The twins will be okay. I’ll fight like hell to stay alive, I swear.”

Choso blinks repeatedly to avoid crying, but he can hardly stay strong so he lets his forehead fall on yours, while his grip trembles.

“Please don’t scare me like you did when we fought Noritoshi. Stay alive, I need you.”

Those words are so full of fear for your life, yet so genuine and full of nothing but love. It makes it hard to leave, but you can’t just stay back, you have to fight at least once. You don’t want to die so you’ll fight hard to avoid that fate for him, and for Satori waiting for you to reunite. But if life takes you down that path you can’t stop it, you’ll only hope you were able to give everyone a chance to defeat that great evil.

“I’ll make it back,” you assure Choso against his lips. “To you, my love. I love you.” You whisper with honey dripping off every word and lean in to press a gentle and lingering kiss on his soft and wet lips refusing to let you go. He keeps your lips captured until you gently push back, but even then he grabs your hand with his unbeatable strength and pulls you back towards him.

“Choso,” you warn him softly.

“Just,” he interjects softly but full of desperation. “Let me…” he trails off and lowers his gaze before he presses his palm against your belly.

He doesn’t say anything, but Yuji notices the silence and looks over at his brother finding comfort in the fact that his kids he made with you are safely growing inside you. Yuji takes note of his brother's hand clinging onto your arm, hoping that will be enough to keep you with him forever. He sees his brother's faint smile that mirrors yours because even if the babies are still too small to move, their mere presence is enough to make you both content.

Yuji takes note of the both of you desperately trying to find any excuse to stick close to each other, and can’t help but think that you’re both brave for coming out to fight even if you’re waiting for something so precious that deserves both parents to live without a burden of fighting this nasty monster. Lastly, Yuji watches you and that smile that decorated your face fade before you force yourself to pull away.

“Strong heart,” you try to give Choso courage before you pull something out of your pocket. You don’t show him what you have, instead, you grab his hand and place the object on his palm before pushing his hand towards his heart.

Choso refuses to identify the object just yet to be able to hold your gaze for as long as he can. Even when you look out at the city past the rooftop you’re on and see Sukuna knock Maki out with a black flash, he refuses to lose sight of your beautiful face, hoping that some way, somehow, that would keep you with him where he could protect you.

“Strong heart,” you repeat tenderly as you tear your gaze away from the tragic scene and meet the worried but sweet gaze of the man you love. “Keep it safe until I come back.”

You leave Choso one last kiss before you walk back. When you’re on the edge of the rooftop, when you feel nothing but the air of the world below on the heel of your feet, you force yourself to tear your gaze away and finally give your back to Choso and Yuji before you can stay, or Choso could force you to stay by his side.

And it’s only once your figure nor your face are painted before his very eyes that Choso pulls back his fist and opens his hand, seeing the little red and orange glass swan he had given you so long ago.

You had left a piece of your love behind that he could hold onto while you fought bravely, and so knew that you meant it when you said you'd go back to him because it’s true, you do want to go back to him. You won’t die against Sukuna, that’s not your heart's desire. You’ll fight fiercely because he took something from you.

He took Nanako and Mimiko. He took the girls who taught you how to love full-heartedly. He took the girls who made you a mother. He took your daughters. He took your daughters who loved you unconditionally. He took them away from you and didn’t stop there. He continued to break your heart by taking your brother too.

He was your best friend. Your beloved brother and he killed him too!

You’d like to fight Sukuna because he took Satori’s uncle, but you’re more selfish than that because Satoru was your brother first. You’ve loved him all your life and she’s only known him for a year of hers, so no, you aren't fighting for justice for her uncle's death, you’re fighting for justice for your brother's death.

Your brother, your daughters. Sukuna took them away. He’s a monster and you’ll kill him, or you’ll make him feel a fraction of what he made you feel. You’ll burn him so he can feel that agony he put you through even if it means your death.

Luckily he doesn’t notice you towering over him, he’s too lost in his glory after scoring a black flash against a teenage girl to notice you. Besides your cursed energy isn’t as strong and flashy as Satoru’s or Okkotsu’s, and for once you’re grateful for it because you can jump off the roof towering over Sukuna without getting noticed. At least for a few seconds that is.

When you get close, when your shadow casts on the ground around him you see him turn his neck and lift his head to catch what’s approaching him, but you force the elements to your side and use the air as your dance floor to twirl around Sukuna’s head before he has the chance to see you with either of his four eyes. Once you're behind him again you let gravity pull you down, and wrap your legs around his neck, and slap your hands on his eyes.

“I’ll take you to hell,” you sneer and light your hands on fire to burn his eyes.

Sukuna quickly throws his hand back and grabs you by the back of your head, but you stab your burning fingers in his deformed eyes and burn your fire fiercely and so bright that your fury is as clear as the burning sun in the sky, causing the giant beast to sneer before he digs his claws in the back of your neck and finally rips you off his back and hurls you off him.

You manage to use the air to catch yourself before you can hit the ground, and swiftly flip in the air to land with both feet on the ground.

“You,” Sukuna snarls.

You stand up smoothly and face him with a menacing glare. “Me,” you mock him.

Smoke rises off his eyes burnt shut, making his optical advantage nothing more than another wound he can’t heal. Which inflates your ego, you do admit.

Seeing the great Sukuna wounded because of you makes you stupidly proud.

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” he doesn’t show any sign of defeat, and why would he? He just rolls his shoulders back and raises his nose further in the sky, casting his menacing glare on your delicate soul.

“I thought you’d be mewling over…” he trails off and taps his chin. “Who was it now?”

He’s just trying to tick you off. You can’t let him get to your head.

“I’ll burn you Sukuna Ryōmen,” you try to project your anger cool, you need to stay level-headed.

“Ah,” he snaps his fingers and lays his eyes on you. “Nanako, and Mimiko.”

You dig the heel of your feet into the ground and swallow back thickly at the sound of their precious names coming out of his dirty and cursed mouth.

“Oh, don’t forget Satoru Gojo too,” he brings up unbothered but with a taunting look pierced on you. “Dead brother, dead husband, and dead daughters.” He snickers under his breath and flashes off his wicked smirk.

And how can you stay so level-headed when he plays so carelessly when he tosses out the names of the people you love as if they meant nothing?

They meant the world. They were the world to you and he killed them. He took them away from you. You can’t behave so rationally, you can’t act with both mind and heart when it’s your heart that mourns and weeps.

You can’t.

You have to act with your blinding anger and with your agonizing grief. You have to kill him.

“I’ll kill you bastard!” You cry out fiercely.

Sukuna throws his arms out and begins to laugh manically. “Show me what you got oh Fallen One!” He bellows.

You blast off the ground and fly toward him with both fists basking with fire, and fury burning in your red-orange eyes.

However, instead of barreling your ignited fists in him, you use your cursed energy to manipulate the ground beneath his feet and rip off a piece of the ground to blast him to the sky.

You quickly follow him by meeting him in the sky and bring your hands together to display a dangerous hand sign.

“I am death. I am the One Fallen from Grace, and today Sukuna…you will know pain,” you grimace and pierce your glare into the depths of his soul to chant. “Domain expansion; StormsEnd!”

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest @natakina

A/N- Flashforward or an illusion? Whatever it is, we need more of Choso and his babies.

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moistmailman · 18 hours

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Voices of the Void AU

When Pyrrha first got her degree she imagined her job would be more worthwhile; something that she can be extremely proud of that will make leaps and bounds in her fields of work. That’s the reason she worked her ass off for the degree in the first place. Yet here she is, in the middle of bumfuck nowhere eating a pack of instant ramen all alone at night, hundreds of miles away from any other human.

When they told her she was going to be pretty isolated from society the redhead didn’t know they meant in the middle of a deep forest where the only source of companionship she had were deer and a stray cat that roamed around. The loneliness isn’t even worst things about this entire job though. Granted, the loneliness is terrible but it’s not the worst.

It’s the silence.

There’s no TV, radio, game, basically anything to occupy her during any downtime. Not even any books or newspaper to distract her from the deafening silence that surrounds her entire life now. The redhead actually picked up the habit of talking to herself just to fill the room with some sort of sound that isn’t just the occasional buzzing of one of the machines. This lab is slowly draining her sanity.

The lab in question was a complete wreck when she first arrived too, and it took an entire week just to make it hospitable. Well, as hospitable as a prison that is. Still beats the complete state it was in when she first arrived though. Pyrrha has no idea how the place became such a mess, but she does know that the last person who was stationed here nearly went insane from isolation and probably had some sort of episode that caused them to destroy the place. 2 months into the job and Pyrrha really can’t blame them. Although, the thought of possibly following in their footsteps makes the job even more demanding despite the job itself being pretty bare boned.

All Pyrrha really does for her work is collect signals that are from space while occasionally fixing satellites. Easy on paper, terrible in action since you’re all by yourself with nothing but your thoughts and occasional paranoia. The signals in question aren’t really interesting either. They take a long time to download and when you listen to them it’s mostly just static, loud noises or the ever so interesting deafening silence of space.

“What a fulfilling career.” She quietly said to herself as she taps her finger on the desk. “Graduated at the top of my class for this.” The degree hanging on her wall seems to be completely useless to her at the moment. Just a visible reminder what she studied her whole life for isolation and silence. She blew a raspberry in frustration.

Although today was, at the very least, somewhat interesting since she did got a semi out of the ordinary signal this morning that she is currently refining to make it more clear. Over the loud static it partially sounded like something was speaking, but since it’s in the human nature to try and find patterns in things, this isn’t really anything to go on without further proof. In fact, this isn’t even the first signal that sounded like something was speaking. So she’s not exactly that excited over this whole ordeal, but at least it’s better than most of the signals she finds. Doesn’t make the burning glare from her diploma go away though. If it could laugh at her then it would.

A beep alerted the redhead to the machine to her right. After several hours the signal is finally refined and ready to be played. She slurped up the noodles hanging from her mouth before putting the container on the table. Pyrrha then stood and nearly stumbled from being light headed. Sitting down for hours on end isn’t really that good for your body and standing up quickly doesn’t really help either. She really has to get outside more often. Maybe she’ll fix some of the satellites in the morning to get some exercise.

With a quick motion, Pyrrha removed the signal from the machine and placed it into the computer to her left, which plays back every single signal that she finds. One pressed button later and it started to play. Again, this isn’t the first thing she found that sounded suspicious. An unrefined signal is barely hearable over all of the loud static, and occasionally you’ll might hear something in it since your brain is probably slowly going insane from the lack of any communication at all. So the redhead’s hopes weren’t exactly high at the moment.

That soon changed pretty fast though when the signal played. It sounded strange and out-worldly, which is normal for her job since she’s is quite literally listening to things that are possibly millions of light years away; but this one is different. It sounded…..it sounded like something is speaking. She can’t make out what they were saying but the more she listened to it the more it becomes obvious that this isn’t one of her normal signals. Sitting up from her chair and scooting closer to the computer, she listened closely. Maybe she finally went insane and is hearing voices now?

“It’s going to be a downward spiral, isn’t it?” She thought to herself. “First I’m going to hear voices, then I’m going to trash the place like the other guy and get placed in a room with mattresses for walls….still homier than this lab though.”

Although the more she listened the less she believed it was all in her head. This is pretty clear honestly. She can’t really make out what it’s saying, but it still there, hidden behind slight static. Something is trying to communicate or at the very least just trying to speak. Almost as if it’s speaking some sort of English but horribly. Nothing it’s saying is coherent.

Pyrrha closed her eyes and listened hard, trying to see if she can recognized anything at all. A single word would be huge for her work. A giant breakthrough honestly, making the entire silent hell she was tormented to worth it completely. No longer will her degree hang there on the wall mockingly like a smudge.

And then finally it happened. She recognized something. A single word from this entire signal that is more clear than anything else on it. But the word itself baffled her since she doesn’t understand why it’s being relayed to her in the first place. She rewinded the audio and replayed it. Then rewinded it again afterwards and play it once more. Rewind repeat, rewind repeat, rewind repeat. She did this for 5 minutes and each time that word pierces though the gibberish like a knife. It’s like listening to a foreign language and in the middle of a sentence they randomly say an English word.

“What the heck?” Pyrrha mumbled to herself as she stands up, deciding to move even closer to the computer just to make sure that she was in fact hearing what she was hearing. “Is this a random radio signal or something?”

The distinct word she heard was beautiful…..

*MEANWHILE*

Saphron couldn’t help to chuckle at her brother. Poor guy was really struggling with this, not that she can blame him. Humans are weird creatures that have multiple form of languages on their planets, which is pretty unheard of for the rest of the galaxy. Doesn’t help that the language in question is pretty confusing in the first place that is full of inconsistencies. Like how the hell doesn’t tomb and bomb rhyme? It make sense. Who even made this stupid language.

Regardless of the dumb language, her brother is trying his damndest to get his message across to some female human that he’s trying to woo. She doesn’t even know how he found her in particular out of the billions of people who live on the planet, especially since she’s seem to be completely isolated from everyone else on the planet. Yet he somehow he saw her and immediately fell hard. Although he’s kinda doing a terrible job at speaking since he seems to be butchering the already butchered language. She doubts anyone would be able to decipher anything he’s saying; he practically invented a new language at this point. Although, he seems to have the word ‘beautiful’ down pretty well.

“Will you stop snickering and just try to help me?!” His brother groaned, causing her to snicker louder.

“Okay, fine. You’re not speaking clear enough.” Saphron instructed. “Speak more clearly, and more confidently too. You’re like a dead fish right now. No human girl would want that.”

“A dead what?”

Saphron sighs. “You know Jaune, how are you expecting to even talk to this human woman if you don’t even know the basic things about this planet?”

“I’ll get to that part later! Don’t rush me!” “Jaune groaned out, rolling his eyes. “Can’t you just tutor me on English more! Please!”

#Rwby #pyrrha nikos #jaune arc #arkos #saphron cotta arc #not proofread cause we live with our mistakes

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anime-dreams · 3 days

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Idk man pt 2??? Jjk season 2 was traumatising (gege 😡) but sukuna was really hot

Anyways heres Shokos pov after ✨Gojoe✨ and 🗣️Geetoes🦶breakup (i love shoko omg shes so hot and shes savage)

I could barely recognise you after he left. Those blue eyes no longer held the familiar warmth and glow. Your mood swings were so sudden, your silence was so loud, i could not stand to be around you for too long anymore. But you know what i could not stand most? Seeing you, the supposed “strongest” wasting away, like a dimming star. What have you became? Unrecongisable.

I still keep in touch with Geto. I receive his letters twice a week, and the way he talked about you, it was like you hung stars in the sky. Each one of those letters never failed to mention your name, never failed to ask me to check up on you. And that day, i knocked softly on your door, with a bag full of your favourite snacks. You were crying. I heard it. You never cried, at least, not in front of me. But when you opened the door, you greeted me with a smile that did not reach your eyes. Why are you hiding your feelings from me? Have i also not been with you for the past 2 years? I reached out my hand to pat your back, to try to comfort you, and you flinched, taking a step back, as my hand came into contact with seemingly nothing. Oh yeah, i forgot. Your infinity has been on ever since he left. You took one more step back awkwardly, not meeting my eyes. I know that i can never replace him, but for you to act like im a complete stranger… was i not there? Your actions following his disappearance… it made me question myself if my place in your lives have ever been as meaningful as i had thought. Was i merely an afterthought in the story of our friendship? I didnt even remember how i felt, but i heard myself yell: “Can you suck it up and get the hell over him already?” and the already flickering light in your eyes went out, completely. Before i knew it, your amplification blue took away the whole ceiling and turned it into shambles. Those chipped pieces of wood and shattered pieces of glass held my gaze, as i saw, reflected in them, an image of us. Once strong, now cracked and split. It hurts, you know. Is this how it’s going to end?

We still talked, but every word you said, every smile you flashed at me, your eyes remained void. Every joke you cracked, every prank you pulled, hollowness echoed after them. I could do nothing but leave you to wallow in your misery. After all, im not him. I cant get you to open up to me like you do with him. You need to know when it’s necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are heavy. Deep down, i believe that you havent lost who you are, you’re just different, and that’s okay. But it was painful, to see you like that.

I stared at the image of you crouching over him, debating if i should disturb the moment. You said something, and he smiled, holding tightly onto his still bleeding shoulder. His lips moved, conveyed his last thoughts to you, then his arms slackened, and his head drooped. You remained there, saying nothing. Your blindfold was off, your shoulders were hunched, your jaw was clenched, and in those swirling shades of blue in your eyes, i could somehow only see emptiness. It wasent long before i had to step in. i was supposed to take care of his body’s disposal, after all. And before i could even touch him, you pushed me aside, with so much force that i almost fell. Your head turned, your eyes cast a piercing gaze at me, and those blue were no longer empty. In them, a whirlwind of emotions swirled, some of which i could not comprehend. How can i, anyway? When you never told me anything. I took that as my cue to leave.

You and him fit each other perfectly, like yin and yang. Then… where am I? To you and him, what have i been this whole time? In some other life, we are standing side by side, and laughing at the fact that in some other life, we are apart. Gojo, Geto, i really hope that we will meet again, that in another life, our paths will cross again, not as Gojo, Geto, or Shoko, but 3 strangers that become the best of friends. Maybe in another life, our fates won’t be sealed and our destinies won’t be so complicated. Maybe in that other life, I will no longer feel invisible.

(😭😭😭its so sad that shoko stuck by toru and sugu all those times and shes like, so damn invisible. 'theres always a duo in a trio' 😢 i love her so much)

Anyways thanks for making it here!! Im the type that only writes when i feel really emo or when im free (student life's really busy :() so im not really active here BUT i appreciate any constructive feedback/criticism if any so pls do comment and TYSMMM FOR MAKING IT HERE 😍

#shoko ieiri #jujutsu kaisen #jjk shoko #satosugu #gege when i catch you gege #kfc breakup #geto suguru #gojo satoru #what am i even doing #i cannot do this anymore #depressing shit

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salemlunaa · 9 hours

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Putting the “void” (“I AM”) on a pedestal

In my last post I basically talked about my plans to use the void to leave to a new perfect reality with out turning back (which i now found out is called respawning)

and because of that I have put the void on this huge pedestal because I was like: if i’m doing so much in the void state and manifesting complete life changes,the void has to be some powerful,magical place, right?

WRONG

the void state, which i think is now better for me to say “I AM” state (due to the weight the “void state” carries in the community) is below us and in us, waiting for us to give attention to it, we don’t have to do all these methods in order to get there we just have to change the way we think and stand firm in the fact that we are gods.

And i know, i know, you’ve heard this 1 million times from other blogs, just like me lmao, but this post really helps put it into perspective, like seriously had me rethinking everything, like seriously made it click for me and i recommend EVERYONE who wants to tap in to the “I AM”/void state should read this;

I also recommend watching this video (after the post to be specific) because I think it’s 100x better to look at the void/“I AM” from a meditator’s perspective, just seeing it as “some cool meditation” instead of a desperate shifter’s perspective, seeing it as “a ticket to all my problems being solved”. It’s way healthier imo and i think it will make things WAYYY easier

youtube

Putting the void on a pedestal allowed me and others here to get an obsession with the void, something that’s already in us, and i think changing my vocabulary and calling it the “I AM” instead of “void” has helped me a lot. We are the powerful magical beings, not the void, when we tap in and give life to it, that’s when it becomes powerful

It’s just pure consciousness 🙄

It’s just a measly meditation 🙄

getting into the state is easier than breathing 🙄

You are that bitch, don’t give that power to something that’s inside you already.

NOW LETS GO GET OUR DREAM LIVES 💋💋

#shiftblr #void state #loa #law of assumption #reality shifting #shifting #the void #success story #void concept #i am state #manifestation #permashifting #Youtube

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queenariesofnarnia · 10 hours

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never underestimate the bunny pt 2

Alastor x F!Bunny Reader 🖤🦌❤️

wc: 707

-extermination day-

You stood in your room admiring the new bodysuit from Carmilla and her daughters. At least you’re fighting in style. Taking a deep breath before heading downstairs to meet the others. Quietly taking your spot between Angel and Cherri. Who both wrapped an arm around you. Your gaze was casted to the floor as everyone spoke, until a shadow caught your attention. You look up at Alastor, who is upstairs overlooking the lobby full of sinners and cannibals ready to fight. His shadow wraps itself around you taking you to him.

“You look distraught my dear” he says placing his hands on your shoulders.

“I was just lost in thought Al” you place a hand over his giving it a light squeeze. He lets out a soft hum at your words. A few moments of silence between you until Charlie begins to guide the fairly large group outside.

“I would make you stay hidden if I could cher” Alastor’s voice void of the radio sound it normally carried.

“I know Al, but these are my friends. I know this is your entertainment, but this is all I have now” you look over everyone. He pulls you into his side, his claws tracing your waist. “Be careful Al” your soft voice reached his ears. Only offering a nod in response before letting you go join the others.

You rejoin Angel and Cherri outside offering them a toothy grin before the slaughter. The same shadow stayed with you. Intertwining with yours, it calmed your worries even though you weren’t aware of it staying with you. Once Al’s shield was up exorcists were falling left and right. Rosie’s cannibals feasting, getting their fill. Until the shield was broken by Adam, your mind immediately going to Alastor.

You want to be by his side during this. Before you could run through the hotel you disappeared into the shadows. Appearing on the roof, between the two men.

“Who’s this little hot thing?” Adam asked looking you up and down grinning. “Almost makes me want to spare the rest of this ugly place” his statement causing you to roll your eyes.

“Darling go back to the others” Alastor’s simple request piqued the interest of the first man.

“You’re with this freak? No fucking way!” He said disgusted at the thought.

“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” you ask tilting your head in curiosity.

“Oh so you do talk! You even sound hot” he says placing his hand on his chin. Instinctively you move back towards Alastor, who gently pushes you to the side.

“Back to why I’m here though. To kill you!” he says laughing, and lunging for Alastor. The shadows held you in place as you watched, their conversation only seemed like them mouthing the words. You were too worried to focus on their words.

“Let me help him” you plead to the shadow after Alastor’s microphone breaks, it reluctantly let you go. “Get away from him!” you yell launching an angelic knife into Adam’s shoulder, putting yourself in front of Alastor before Adam swung his guitar axe. The world stopped for a moment, as you fell back into Alastor’s arms, eyes slowly shutting

“Radio is not dead. But, it’s ending this broadcast” you hear him before the world goes black.

-time skip to where the hotel is rebuilt-

You’re alive, but you’re in a coma. The injury across your chest has healed with the help of Lucifer. Alastor hasn’t left your bedside since, Angel brings him food at the end of the day to check on your progress. Giving Alastor a sad glance when he leaves the room. The rare time Alastor actually falls asleep you stir awake. Your coughs immediately wake him. You look at him with a tired smile.

“Hey Al” your voice still weak.

“Hello my dear” he says a rare soft smile that is reserved for you on his face. He cups your cheek gently as you nuzzle into his hand. “It is a pleasure to see you awake” you place a soft kiss on his palm.

“You know what they say Al. Never underestimate the bunny” you say laughing, making him join you.

“You are absolutely right about that darling” he agrees kissing your forehead.

#alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #xreader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you

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nekohime19 · 2 days

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Mini Mac #3 : local lil guy being a menace

Let's go for another Mini Mac chap! This Au is progressivly taking over my life.

Even if Sun Wukong proved to be friendly, Macaque wasn't keen on deepening his relationship with him. Giants were unpredictable, they always seemed to view the world as theirs, full of grandeur, and some even found twisted interest in oddities like himself. Granted, he gave his name away, but he wasn't planning on starting friendly conversations with the King. No. They were worlds apart to begin with, Macaque was satisfied with his home in the walls of the mansion and the silence the water-curtain offered, everything beyond that was something he wasn't interested in. He'd been in the outside world before, he knew what to expect, and it was precisely because he knew that he seeked refuge here. On one of the most isolated islands of the eastern continent.

Macaque would remain in the shadows, living in the walls, and Sun Wukong would soon lose interest, at least that was what he hoped for. Turns out the sage wasn't as fickle as he thought him to be. Sun Wukong kept trying to find him, peering at the holes hidden in dusty corners of the stone mansion with a twinkling eye. He was loud, each of his steps reverberating in the floor itself like some sort of landslide. Macaque always knew he was approaching even before seeing him enter a room, and he didn't need six ears for that. More than once this last week, Macaque found the sage crouched before one of his holes, talking in the void, trying to coax him out. Sometimes he left cut pieces of fruits behind him, and Macaque wasn't petty enough to refuse them.

Food was food, no matter where it came from.

The black-furred monkey sighed as he looked at his reflection dancing on a spoon surface (one of the rare silverware he managed to find). He was getting pudgy these days. Usually, he would leave the mansion every two days to restock his cupboards and find food. The water-curtain cave was vast for a being like him and offered many things he found useful. But because the sage was spoiling him with pre-cut fruits, he was getting lazy, which wasn't good at all.

Cautiousness was a sense he sharpened over the years, he couldn't let his guards down simply because one ridiculous golden-furred fool decided to fatten him. Why even was he fattening him? Perhaps, he planned to eat him? One gust of wind slipped through the walls cracks and flipped his ears in mockery.

“What? It's plausible. Some giants tried to eat me before.” Huffed the black-furred macaque, the wind whispered something in his ear and he recoiled in disgust. “Why do you mean he likes me? I think you're the delusional one here. He didn't even know I existed two weeks ago.” The wind flipped his ears one last time before going away, fickle by nature. Talking to the wind was always unnatural. The wind didn't have a voice, it carried words of others and mingled them to create its own sentences. Macaque wasn't born from the wind (usually only those born from the elements would be this privileged) but, according to the wind itself, he was blessed by it at his birth because the wind took a liking to him.

Sometimes, the black-furred monkey swore the element only took a liking to him because his life was a real-time soap opera and he could gossip with him about every dirty secrets he heard. The wind was particularly fond of drama, always eavesdropping left and right anywhere it went.

Macaque turned around and stopped looking at his reflection. He needed to do something before Sun Wukong became a problem. Maybe he could give him a little fright? After all, the sage used to live in the wilderness before, and he didn't seem one to stay at home. The only reason he was there was because of his sudden interest in Macaque. Maybe scaring him would chase him away.

Fortunately, Macaque was an expert in scaring people.

Scaring the sage was surprisingly very easy. For all his gusto, Sun Wukong was easily taken off guard, he never truly watched his surroundings after all. Macaque used all the tricks in his book. He slammed doors, bit the sage ankles, drew messages on fogged glass, and made the floor squeak in the dead of the night. If at first he did it with his utmost seriousness, he lost himself in the game and let his mischievous nature shine through.

But who could blame him really ? Sun Wukong's reactions were hilariously exaggerated. He still praised himself for the Sun Wukong shaped hole he managed to create while surprising the sage by biting the end of his tail.

For all his fun, he wasn't expecting the sage to catch him off guard with a prank on his own.

It happened at dusk, Macaque wasn't usually an early riser but winter was approaching, and while Flower Fruit Mountain had a kind weather, winter still brought storms in its wake. Macaque hated storms, he often decided to stay inside of the mansion walls through each one, but staying inside meant he couldn't restock as often as he did in summer, and that meant he needed more food. Moreover, the local monkeys often decided to leave the mountain lush wilderness and spend more time in the water-curtain cave in winter, and that meant less food for him, and also more reasons to not wander in the cave.

While the older monkeys seemed nice, the younglings were too rowdy for him.

Macaque found mango pieces scattered in a bright green leaf just outside of one of the holes he used to enter the walls. Nothing truly unusual. The black-furred monkey, not one to turn away free food, approached the leaf and began to eat without looking at his surroundings (after all Sun Wukong wasn't one to rise this early).

He yelped when the sage came out of his hiding place and spooked him with a particularly loud “boo!”. Macaque fur fluffed up in fright and he let his piece fall on the floor. He calmed down once he heard the sage rolling on the floor in cackles.

“Aw, don't pout lil guy. You had it coming.” Laughed the sage as he wiped a tear from his eyes.

“I'm not pouting!” was Macaque's only defense as he straightened his fur, the sage laughed harder. “Whatever, I'm a busy man. I don't have time for this.”

“Oh, you're going somewhere?”

“None of your business.” Grumbled the black-furred monkey as he stuffed the rest of the mango pieces in one of his bags.

“Aw, don't be like that. I can come with you. I know the mountain very well, being it's King and all.” Proposed the sage with a wagging tail.

“No thank you.”

“I tried.” Sighed Sun Wukong, ears and tail dropping in disappointment. “You're coming back though?”

“Why wouldn't I come back? I was here even before you became King.” Huffed Macaque, he summoned a portal with a flick of wrist and stepped in it.

“Okay, good luck then. Don't come home too late! I have a plum for you this evening!”

Macaque snorted, who did this giant think he was acting like some sort of worried husband?

At least a plum sounded nice, his tail wagged at the thought of it.

++ Meme dump bc I have free time and nobody can stop me :

The wind watching Mini Mac life :

#Mini Mac Au #Shadowpeach #Mac is a menace #Wukong living inside of a horror movie bc of his mini roommate #Prank war #Lmk #Shadowpeach fanfic

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thesilmarillionblog · 3 days

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PROTECT ME FROM WHAT I WANT

Chapter 2: Tides Will Bring Me Back to You

Summary: You've been working with Butcher and his team since your sister died in a plane crash caused by Homelander, and months later, you met Soldier Boy. Drowning between hatred and your desire to have your vengeance, you have to face your feelings for Soldier Boy eventually.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Hurt, Language, fake Soldier Boy gets hurt, soft fake Soldier Boy, mention of death.

Word Count: 3128

A/N: English is not my first language.

When you heard mixed noises coming from the TV and felt a hand on your hair, you opened your eyes lazily. You felt numb and spent. Confused by the sense of loss seized through you, you lifted your hand to touch the one stroking your hair with tenderness.

The hand on your hair stopped, and you looked at the handsome figure above you.

“Hey,” said Ben. “You’ve been sleeping for hours, sweetheart.”

Even more confused, “for hours?” you asked. You realized your head was on his leg.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Didn’t you sleep well yesterday?”

You tried to remember how you fell asleep or what made you feel this way, but it left you even more puzzled. You felt a sense of disquiet take over. You shivered under his soft hands. You did not like this empty feeling.

“What happened?” he asked softly this time, helping you to get up and taking you in his strong arms right away.

“I don’t know,” you murmered while resting your head on his broad and strong chest. The warmth touching your cheeks and hands helped you. “I feel distressed and scared. Maybe I just overslept.”

He tightened his strong arms around you, gave a firm kiss to your forehead, and you pressed your body against his, searching for peace in his presence. You felt desperate yet safe in that moment.

He lifted your chin to look at you properly and see what’s wrong. “Scared of what?” he asked you in disbelief.

You started “Homelander-” but he cut you off immediately by saying, “He died a long time ago, remember? I did it. I am the one who killed him, baby,” and continued, “What can make you scared when the strongest supe ever to live is your husband, huh?” as he gave you a teasing wink.

The sincerity of his words calmed your sensitive heart in a second.

“No one can dare to hurt you as long as you’re with me.”

You believed him.

His conforming touch and sweet talk shadowed and overtook your negative mood.

“As long as I’m with you? What if I leave you? Does it mean they can touch me?” You teased him while you put your hands around his neck.

“They may try,” he growled, and he took you by the neck and crushed his warm lips with yours firmly. Between lustful yet sweet kisses. “You don’t want to divorce or something, right?” he said, and his smile reached his eyes.

“You would never leave me.”

You were melted by his trust and hidden fragility that only you could see under his sharp gaze.

“I would never.”

He believed you.

To boost your mood, he suggested you watch a movie, and you gave him a nod. He certainly didn’t know about the latest movies released in the last four decades, so he let you choose. After Ben settled everything up, he sat on the couch and took you to his lap immediately. You did not remember at that moment if you had ever felt like this before. In fact, your mind was like a blurry landscape filled with joyless and pale colors. However, if there was only one thing you were sure of, it was that Ben’s presence brought you such comfort that you wanted to remember that exact moment and hold on to his love and tenderness for you forever.

As time passed, your thoughts were rather focused on Ben and yourself. Pushing your mind to remember what happened before you fell asleep and the day before, your eyes watered without a reason. You were stuck between nothingness and the abstract void of the present.

Trying not to sound dispirited, you said, “Ben.” Shifting your position in his arms, you lifted your head to check his expression closely. You asked, “Do we have any plans for tomorrow?”

Since you couldn’t recall your memories at all at that moment, you wanted to ask Ben and learn about tomorrow’s plan without sounding bizarre.

Ben’s eyes met yours before he gave you another kiss.

“Your sister will give us a visit. You told me you missed each other a lot, that it had been a long time since you spent time together. Don’t you remember?”

Ben’s gaze was questioning, and he looked confused. You hated yourself for being difficult and ruining the mood.

“Oh, yes. Sorry,” you murmered. “That long sleep must have unbalanced me or something, I guess.”

“Y/N,” he murmered, and he turned off the TV. “Is there something bothering you?”

Judging by his voice, he sounded disturbed, hurt, but also curious.

“No,” you denied right away. You felt terrible for making him feel that way. “I don’t mean to be like this and ruin the night, but I feel a bit strange. I can’t remember a thing from today or yesterday. I just” sighed. You didn’t know how to put your feelings into words properly.

“Do you remember that you love me?” he asked with a pained voice.

“Of course I remember,” you said with pleading eyes, not even hesitating for a single moment.

“And isn’t that enough for you?”

“It’s enough, Ben.”

He gave you a genuine, wholehearted smile before he lifted you as if you weighted nothing. “Good. Let’s get some sleep.”

Despite last night’s strange moments, you felt a joy go through your body when you felt Ben’s presence behind your back as sunlight dazzled your sleepy eyes. His grip was incredibly tight around your arms and all of your body. You tried to turn around and face him, but couldn’t even move a bit, so you hit your hips to his with a sudden and harsh movement to wake him up and loosen his arms. However, you forgot for a moment that he was a supe whose body was tougher than any material in the world, and you were just a human whose bones were more breakable than a tiny rod. You moaned, caused by a sudden pain, and that woke him up.

He loosened his arms right away and held your hip to still you.

“What are you doing?” he asked with a sleepy voice.

You finally turned to him and gave him a short but firm kiss as you played with his messy hair. “Nothing at all,” you murmered innocently. “I was just trying to wake you up.”

He made a soft noise as he pulled you closer. “Well, we both can agree on your capability about that.”

After cuddling some more time on the bed and he talked about Vought and everything, you took a shower while Ben prepared the breakfast. You sat on the chair and watched him while he was doing all the work. He was very meticulous, and he looked so serious while doing it; you couldn’t stop teasing him till he finished.

Ben put on his supe suit and left home after he gave you long and sweet kisses, leaving you with your sister alone.

You gave your sister a big hug as soon as she arrived. Ben was right. You definitely missed her so much that you didn’t want to let her go. Your heart became heavy with sorrow and melancholy, and your eyes watered for a second, but you gathered yourself, pushing the gloomy mood away and keeping the day from being ruined by those emotions.

“Hey,” she chuckled. It was obvious she was surprised. “Did you miss me that much?”

“Of course I did.”

You felt like it’s been a long, very long time since you’ve seen her, as if it’s been months, even years.

. “Are you okay, though?” she asked with a concerned voice as she rubbed your arm, and you both sat down on the couch.

“I am okay.” You smiled at her with sincerity and held her hands. “It’s just that I missed you a lot.”

She rolled her eyes at you and said, “Maybe I should put a long distance between us, so you miss your little sister even more.”

Her teasing voice made you giggle. “Well, if you make this a habit, maybe I wouldn’t. My little sister? You’re just two year younger than me,” you said, hitting her slowly with a pillow.

“So, how is everything going with Ben?” she asked.

“It’s fine,” you murmered. “He is very thoughtful and gentle.” You cut it short, not knowing how to describe marriage at all.

She gave you a suspicious look and asked, “Is that all? You don’t sound very happy.”

“I am,” you denied with a firm voice. “Really, everything is well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him or the marriage.”

She said, “I’m glad to hear that, Y/N,” with a relieved voice. “Not going to lie, I was about to have second thoughts for a moment about marriage. After all, I’m about to join the Married People Club soon. Big news.” She showed her wedding ring.

“Can you believe?” she said excitedly. “Tim just proposed to me. To be honest, I thought our relationship wouldn’t escalate that fast and end eventually as we fought over stupid stuff all the time, but I guess love always finds a way out. What do you think?”

You were too surprised to say anything, so you just took a look at the wedding ring. She was waiting for your reaction excitedly.

“Wow, Alice,” you said, not knowing what to say exactly. “Congratulations then.” You gave her another hug. “I am so happy for you.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” she said shyly. “I haven’t told mom and dad yet though. You’re the first to hear, so don’t spill the beans,” she asked with a pleading voice. You gave her an understanding nod.

“How long has it been since you and Tim met, by the way?” You asked, and you tried not to sound mean or in any way that could upset her. You just had a hard time remembering everything.

Slightly disturbed by your question, she said, “Six or something, I guess,” with a distant voice. “Why did you ask?”

“Look, Alice,” you said, touching her arm softly. You were scared to ruin her joyful moment and make her upset. “Don’t you think it would be better if you two gave each other a bit more time? Just in case, you know.”

She frowned and raised her eyebrows as you talked. It was clear she wouldn’t take it well. “Why are you being like this, Y/N?” she asked with a hurt and angry voice. You opened your mouth to defend yourself, but she did not let you. “Do you think I’m too naive or stupid to make a decision? Why is everything okay and safe when it comes to you but not me? How does that even work?”

You were overwhelmed by her sudden rage. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want the best for you, and give yourself a bit more time to be sure of your feelings.”

“You did, though,” she said, raising her voice slightly. “Yeah, you sure know more about what I feel than I know about myself. Anyways. I need to go; I’m going to miss my flight.”

You were about to protest, but a sudden, heavy, and unbearable headache appeared. Holding your head, you loudly moaned in agony. You shut your eyes in pain as random memories emerged from nothingness.

“Hey,” Alice said with a concerned voice, touching your back. “Are you okay?”

You pushed yourself to ignore the sudden memories filling your mind, but it was impossible. You screamed in pain. The memories were so horrible and hideous that you couldn’t stand them. They were about your sister's death and the fight between you just one hour before her death. Just like the one you were having moments ago. Tears were dripping from your eyes uncontrallably.

Finally, you came to realize what was happening around you when the headache stopped.

“Y/N?” Alice called out one more time with a worried voice. “I’m scared.”

Her voice broke your heart into pieces. You looked at her with disbelief. She was real and right there, in front of your eyes. She was alive and well.

“Alice?”

“You scared the shit out of me,” she said, letting go of the breath she was holding for like a minute.

“Oh my god,” you muttered, shocked. The tears were streaming down your eyes already. “I can’t believe this.”

You didn’t want to worry about your real body or anything at all. You just wanted to savor this single, small, and vulnerable moment. You wanted to remember everything forever.

“Can you please tell me what’s going on?” Alice murmered in worry as she tried to get away from your tight hug to check on you. “I don’t get it.”

“Nothing,” you said, trying to calm her. “I just missed you so much.” It was difficult, but you made an effort to hold back your tears.

Even though you knew it was all a delusion, everything seemed so real.

Ben told you that those delusions were worse than a nightmare.

It was a gift.

“I am okay.” You told your sister to soothe her. “I am sorry for everything I told you, Alice. I’ve never meant to hurt you.”

You knew she was gone, and nothing would bring her back to you. Whatever she said or said, none of them were real, or your words would fix a thing. However, you just wanted to say how sorry you were for having a fight with her, filling her last moments with bitter and irreparable memories.

Alice sighed as she hugged you back, rubbing your arm. “I know.”

“I know you want the best for me, okay? I’m not angry with you,” she said, assuring you. “Hey, I really need to go. I don’t want to miss the flight, but I need to know if you are really okay.”

Remembering her flight, you sobbed between your tears. You knew it wouldn’t change a thing, but you pleaded with her in desperation. “I’m so lonely. Please, don’t leave.”

“Don’t be like this,” she murmured, wiping your tears away. “You’re not alone. Tim and I have been planning this trip for a long time, but we are going to have a great time together when I come back, I promise.”

You wanted to talk to her for hours, hug her tight, and spend time with her as much as you could, but every beautiful thing comes to an end sooner or later. It’s ironic how compassionate yet cruel life is.

You wanted to say so much but didn’t want to end this dream by confusing her or ruining this fake reality. You wanted to end your conversation with her in peace this time, as you should have.

When she rose up from the couch, you followed her to the door. You gave her a longing smile.

“I’m very happy about you and Tim. I truly am,” you said with sincerity. With a heavy heart, you said “Be safe out there, okay? I love you.”

Knowing her flight would turn into a nighmare, that day was the last day you see her and it was your last moment together, you struggled to control your tears.

“Thank you,” she said as she hugged you tight. “I will. I love you too.”

You cried for hours, not caring about what happened to your body or how long you were absent. Your phone rang like crazy, but you ignored it, knowing what it would be about. You made a vow to see the day Homelander died.

Your tears stopped when Ben came back. You rose and went to him with quick steps.

“Y/N,” he murmered with concern. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

The gentleness and compassion in this voice broke your heart, because it was all a lie. You knew that you had to force yourself to wake up and break that pathetic and mirrored vision of yours.

“This isn’t right,” you said with a dry voice as you tried to get away from his touch.

.”What do you mean?” He made a move to touch your cheek, embrace you, but you took a step back from him again. It broke your heart to see the disappointment and pain in his eyes.

“You’re not real nor me and this house and this marriage. Everything is fake,” you said with a firm voice.

“I don’t get it. Will you tell me what happened or why you are upset? So I can fix it,” he murmured, closing the distance between you and giving you a captivating kiss.

“I know that you don’t actually love me. I’m aware this is just a dream or a simple delusion, and I want to wake up right now.”

“You don’t make sense,” he said with a firm voice. “I do love you.”

“No.” This time you raised your voice and tried to push his hands away, but he didn’t let you go. If he tried harder, he could convince you at any moment. This Ben was everything you needed him to be. “I will wake up.”

“You told me you’d never leave,” he said. You knew when he finally understood you. “Are you not happy here?”

You wanted to surrender him badly and let yourself get lost in the moment, but you knew you couldn’t. You didn’t know what to say. Lost in thoughts, he kissed you passionately.

“Don’t leave me,” he begged again, hugging you tight desperately as if he would prevent what was about to happen.

“But you’re not real,” you murmered, touching his chin.

“If you wake up, he will never love you the way I love you and will care about you. You know he’ll hurt you.”

You knew he was right about every single thing he said. He was trying hard to persuade you, but you knew it was just a part of the delusion, and everything he said was just a mirror of your own consciousness.

“I know, but at least all of them would be real.”

He didn’t say anything this time.

“I don’t want to be here or to be with you. I will wake up,” you said decisively as you finally felt the change in the atmosphere around you. You opened your eyes.

#the boys #soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #jensen ackles soldier boy #the boys season 3 #soldier boy the boys #the boys series #jensen ackles #soldier boy fanfiction #the boys soldier boy #soldier boy fic #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy x you

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