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ajortga · 3 months

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i'm not coming home.

pairing: vada cavell x fem reader

warning! sensitive topics ahead include: character death, suicide, overdose, massive angst with NO happy ending.

thank you egg for your request! cried a little making this which usually.. isn't quite normal to happen. hope this might make your angst heart pour a little.. p.s this was partially inspired by some other fics i read that i loved and this was particularly based off the lyrics im not coming home, not really my future:o

I just saw that song fic you made, it was very nice. So I’d like to request one of my own…

My future by Billie Eilish?

Obviously for my favorite girl Vada Cavell. Who else would I request for?

Her eyes looked at the moon, Vada’s brown eyes looking at the way the moon shone across the city.

“The moon is pretty, isn’t it?” A voice said beside her.

Vada's eyes glanced at you, a small smile forming on her lips.

“Yeah. But you were always prettier.”

“You used to say that a lot.”

“I know. It’s because I think it’s true.”

You stood there in silence, Vada scooted closer to you, pointing at the flowers right ahead of you guys.

“Do you remember when we planted those?”

“Yeah, they grew so pretty. We wanted to make a whole flower garden together.”

“The garden is growing I think.”

“I think so too.

Silence once again, the only sound was the dark trees rustling in the blue moonlight, stars above the two’s heads. Vada bit her lip, looking at the stars, her knees tucked under her arms.

“Do you think in another universe, we’d be in love?” You whispered, catching her off guard as she looked at you, seeing the way your eyes looked hurt.

Vada shrugged, thinking for a moment, “I don’t know..”

Another pause.

“Maybe in another universe, I never so badly wished it was this one though.”

She heard a small laugh, hurt laced behind it, “It once was.”

“In this universe we’re not. Because you’re no longer here.”

…

“I know.”

Vada wishes she could take those words back.

Vada needed space to herself after trying to heal from traumatic experiences it was so hard for her to deal with. You were just trying to help.

You were just trying to help.

Offering to hold her hand in the hallways, reassuring back rubs, kisses on the forehead, sticking by her side.

It was too much for her. She just wanted to be left alone, but she didn’t want to tell you.

You just were so worried, you made sure to love her.

The day Vada was the most stressed, she took all her anger out on you for just trying to comfort her.

“Can you stop being arrogant for once and get it into your brain that you need to leave me alone? You have to let me go and it’s getting so frustrating you can’t get that into your system! Just give me my space when I need it!”

Vada’s voice echoes through the house, her eyes looked enraged as she saw the way your figure looked so small.

“Okay.”

That was the last word she heard you say before you left the apartment to just.. Process.

Vada felt bad, seeing the way your shoulders dropped as you walked out the door. But she was just so frustrated with all these events she couldn't bring herself to apologize. She was too tired.

Ding

...

Ding

....

Ding ding ding ding ding

"Oh my god.." Vada groaned tiredly, her phone light almost lighting up the whole room as she rubbed her eyes, stirring from bed.

Who the hell would be notifying her at 2:43 AM?

Her hands flipped her phone over as she looked at the messages, the way her eyes widened was indescribable.

my sweet y/n♡: vada they won't go away.

my sweet y/n♡: i'm so scared.

my sweet y/n♡: it won't stop, vada it won't stop.

my sweet y/n♡: i can't breathe

my sweet y/n♡: i just want it to stop.

my sweet y/n♡: baby please i need you. i don't feel good.

4x call missed

my sweet y/n♡: i'm sorry.

my sweet y/n♡: i love you.

my sweet y/n♡: i love you with my whole heart and i promise that you can finally be left alone like you wanted.

"No! No no no no no!.." She said louder to herself, immediately jumping off the bed and hitting the call button. No response.

"Please just pick up!"

She grabbed her keys and slammed the door shut, immediately going to your house with an inhaler and meds.

She kept ringing and ringing as she heard you pick up, immediately putting the phone to her ear.

"Baby! Baby.. Talk to me. Talk to me please."

"...Vada.." you cry, your voice barely a whisper, "It hurts."

"What did you do? Y/N.. Tell me please, what did you do? Did you take something bad?"

"I just.. I..."

Vada hears you breathing heavily, making small hurtful breaths.

"I just wanted everything to stop... I'm so tired.."

"I'm almost there baby.."

Vada makes a full on swerve as she busts out of her car, hearing the way your labored breaths were gradually beginning to grow shakier. The call ends as she makes a plead of frustration. She grabs the keys she snagged when she left the house and frantically unlocked your door.

"Y/N!" she cries, the house was dark as she turned every corner before rushing into your room, barging in.

There you were, curled up on the ground, your arm over your stomach as she saw the way your chest shook, the way you let out cries. There were pills scattered around you, your hand holding a pill bottle that was almost half empty. Vada screamed as she immediately knelt down as you turned.

"Baby, Y/N, wake up!" She cried, shaking you

You were barely able to make a noise, she could only hear you say her name, your voice barely an audible whisper with tear-stained cheeks and glazed over eyes.

Vada let out a painful cry as her hand reached up to caress your now cold skin. You were shaking as Vada picked you up and cradled you, calling the 3 numbers as quickly as she could, begging for the ambulance to come as quickly as they could.

"Everything is going to be okay. Don't close your eyes sweetheart. I promise you'll be okay.."

You curled your body into hers, your head drooping down as you look at her, your vision unfocused.

Oh how your eyes were the ones she loved so much, the ones she loved so much now looking like this. Lifeless, barely hanging on.

"I'm so sorry. Vada's so sorry baby. I should have never said those mean things to you. You mean the w-world to me. I love you so much," The guilt was stirring in her stomach, unlike anything she's seen before.

You whimper against her, "I-I d-don't feel good... I-I feel s-so c-cold.."

Vada sobbed as she wrapped a blanket around your shaking, fragile body, hugging you tightly.

"I'm here. Help is coming," she whispered, looking down at you, fallen tears beginning to drop on your clothes.

Your eyelids were half-open, Vada's voice was beginning to become muffled. You knew Vada was beyond worried, you just wanted everything to stop for a while.. You also knew deep down, you wouldn't be able to make it. You wouldn't be able to make it out alive. You wouldn't be able to spend the rest of your life and marry Vada. Maybe live in the green meadows like you always dreamed of, cuddling as you watched the stars at night. Maybe have had a cat too and looked like the romantic sweethearts everyone envied of, sharing small gentle kisses in the corners of every place you traveled.

You knew you couldn't be with her till her last breath, but you knew she would be with you till yours.

You knew you wouldn't be able to live your love, so you mustered all the left-over strength you still had and croaked out the 3 little words.

"I love you."

You felt it. Vada did too. The way your eyes glassed over, it was no longer the warm, pretty eyes she adored, they were now foggy and dark. The way your body began to lose it's warm comfort that Vada ever so loved feeling when she cuddled you to bed. It was all fading. And she knew your life was fading too.

Vada cried, she didn't want to loose you. She was sobbing and she couldn't do anything about it, she was so so scared.

"I love you too. I love you so fucking much Y/N. I.. I.." She didn't know what else to say, she was so scared that she couldn't speak anymore, wailing.

You gave her the weakest smile you could muster, though she knew that it wasn't the smile you gave her when your eyes would light up as soon as you saw her, it was the smile that you finally understood.

You understood. The cracking smile that showed you were ready.

"That's all my heart can ever ask for. I-I'll be there with you, as a pretty deer in the moonlight, or the shiniest star. I-I'll be there whenever y-you need me.. It was never your fault.." You whispered, before she could see your eyes go still, your shaking body beginning to slow. The last teardrop that would ever fall go down your cheek.

"No! Open your eyes Y/N! Baby! Please! I'm here! You can open your eyes now! Wake up!"

Vada didn't know love could make her cry this hard as she felt your skin turn cold, she wished she could just take it all back. She'd remember you through every memory. But she'd remember that the memories of the person she loved most would never exist in the future. It was all in the past. She knew that you were gone as she cried into the wind. The ambulance was just too late as they saw her hugging your soulless body, never wanting to let go.

"Vada's so sorry.." She cries in a whisper.

Vada felt herself sniffle, she could feel the way her memories invaded her brain. She could never forgive herself for it. On every shooting star she wished that it could've never happened in the first place.

She then noticed the way she felt her cheeks suddenly stain with tears, seeing your pretty body fade away in the moonlight above. Seeing the way that you bit down a hurtful expression, smiling with a cracked heart as she sniffled. The night sky is now beginning to reflect through you.

It was all her fault. She couldn’t bear to hear it. But she knew now that you weren’t going to come home. You never would.

She knew one day you would fade from her mind completely. She couldn’t bear to know that one day, she’d forget the way you sounded. She knew that one day, your ghost would eventually fade away, your faded presence beginning to slow as time healed. There would be a day that your ghost would stop showing up completely.

She knew that one day, all your memories would turn into months, years, decades.

Until it’ll all be too old for her to remember. To remember you and the way you were the first person Vada felt her stomach tingle with fluttering butterflies as you kissed her so gently. To remember the way you would hold your umbrella for her as it poured rain, seeing the way your forehead would drip with water from protecting her before you could shelter yourself.

"Keep our love special okay? Keep it just between us. Keep it in your heart." You whispered, before you faded away, knowing one day you'll appear once again.

Vada nodded, slowly, she still can't believe she isn't over it. How could she be?

Her hair was wet, she was so used to feeling a hood over her head. She was so used to being protected by you. Rain drenched her clothes as her body shook, staring at the way the city lights dimmed below her.

She knew that you weren’t going to come home.

Because there she was, sitting on a wet patch of grass, drenched in the rain. Knowing that once before, you sat with her in the rain, holding an umbrella over her head as you hugged her, cuddling for warmth.

Vada let out a shaky, broken sigh as she looked up, seeing the way the stars shone. One shone so bright as she smiled. Her star.

From the wind blowing so gently in her hair with rain showering across the city, the deer peeked behind the tree, making a soft noise.

"Every night and day I wish I could feel your cuddles, kiss me and tell me it was all a nightmare, but it's been too long to know it's not just stupid nightmare. I miss you more than words can possibly describe."

Vada rubbed her cheeks, wiping the tears that were falling, feeling the rain drizzle with her sadness, making a quiet cry.

"It's been 5 months Y/N. I love you. I wish you were here with me. "

Maybe you wouldn't be with Vada till her last breath, maybe her grieving wouldn't last that long. But she was there for yours, that's all you could ever ask for. Your girlfriend hugging you as you took your last breath. That was special.

#jenna ortega x fem!reader #vada cavell x reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega imagine #tara carpenter x you #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega x y/n #vada cavell x y/n #vada cavell x you #Spotify

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ellecdc · 2 months

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L 😭 im a mess i cant stop listening to this song [https://youtu.be/4ELTaMB41OQ?si=7PCNCUQenoJsLQNC] and the only thing in my head is Regulus playing piano w reader 😭😭😭 like i imagine ofc the black parents forcing their children to learn art and music and french shit and playing piano stuck with Reggie bc it helps him kind of turn his mind off for a bit and just let his fingers do their thing 😭 then reader comes along not knowing how to but always loving to listen to reg play 🧍‍♀️ good bye

🩷

omg aweeee yes I see this - I totally see Reg as an artsy guy, both with instruments, painting/sketching, and maybe poetry (tortured souls, right?) this was so cute - and the song too! I've never heard it before so thanks for sharing!

Regulus Black x GN!reader CW: mentions of past family/parental abuse, sibling relationships

You weren't at all surprised to find him here. He'd gone quiet at dinner and excused himself as early as politely possible.

You leaned against the doorframe as Regulus' fingers skirted across the keys of the grand piano in the living room, murmuring soft lyrics you couldn't make out from this distance. The chance of the song being a cover or an original equally as likely.

Dinner's with his brother could sometimes be hard for Regulus - both parties feeling different levels of guilt over their respective treatment of the other. Living in a house with abusive parents meant you either adapted, or you died. Sometimes the boys would stick together - power in numbers and a sense of camaraderie. And sometimes, life was a little bit easier for you if it was your brother who was the object of your parents' attention.

That kind of environment didn't exactly support or foster a healthy sibling relationship.

It only grew worse after Sirius ran away.

All this to say - though the boys have done a lot of work on their relationship and reconciliation, sometimes memories were brought up in conversation that neither boy has had the chance to process fully, and they had to deal with that as it came.

Which brings you back to the living room after having cleared the table, washing the dishes and putting the left overs away.

You were friends with Sirius too - and you couldn't help but chuckle at how different the two boys ended up.

For example, you knew Sirius would rather sit naked on a hot grill than return to the seat of a piano; you supposed having your hands smacked with a ruler until the bled for messing up your scales could do that to a person. But somehow, Regulus seemed to find peace in the thoughtlessness of letting his fingers find their notes along the instrument he knew inside and out; the quiet of his mind gave him the chance to process his feelings.

You decided to stop being a creep from the edge of the room and join Reg quietly on the piano bench. He must have known you were there, because he never faltered or surprised at your appearance.

"Sorry I left." He murmured quietly. "I'll clean up later, I promise."

You leaned your head on his shoulder as you watched his fingers work, shaking your head. "I've already done the washing, don't worry about it."

He made a tsking sound as he leaned his head atop yours. "I didn't mean to leave that up to you, mon chéri."

"I was happy to do it."

"I'll make it up to you, hm? What would you like?" He offered as he kissed your head, the keys and their notes never faltering under his hands.

"Play me a song."

And he did.

#regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #regulus black #sirius and regulus #the marauders #black brothers #regulus deserved better #reader insert #self insert #marauders fanfiction #regulus black imagine #regulus black blurb #ellecdc fics

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vampiretendencies · 1 year

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im starting to scar, im going through phases !

summary; he does everything he can to push you away, leading to his downfall. warning; angst, sadness, there’s no happy ending, mentions of events in seasons 3, chateau still exists, mention of throwing up, proorfread but may find mistakes. pairing; jj maybank x fem!reader. authors note; decided to take another approach because not everything always ends with hugs and kisses. wishing you all the best. hope the ending doesn’t seem rushed, requests are open. creds to gif owner. this is based on phases by chase atlantic, and lyrics of the song will be used. there’s a spotify link below, if you’d like to listen and read. lyrics are in bold italics.

It's been 24 hours

I'm getting impatient

I'm sorry you're scared

The feeling is shared

I'm sorry I'm dangerous

Ever felt that feeling when an impending doom is bound to strike?

Like when you know the earths about to cave in, and all you can do is let its currents drag you under.

The calm before the storm, maybe.

And JJ can feel it creeping in.

The sensation that he knows he won’t make it past a certain life span with his lifestyle, and he’d be damn if he’d drag you down with him.

Hell, he wasn’t sure if he’d make it past twenty five, at this rate. Between reckless trips to South America, and nearly dying in Barbados multiple times.

You were his last remnant of hope in life, and now he can’t even hold onto that anymore.

The filaments of love that intercepted his veins at just the sight of you, he couldn’t bare it.

He couldn’t bare so much love.

Or at least, he refuses to allow himself to.

The instance now is being in bed but miles away. And he’d been doing this for around two weeks now— throwing away the most valuable year of his life for a notion, or just the thought that you’d be better off. That you’d be better off without his baggage, his issues, without him.

He’s facing the wall, his boxer-clad frame away from you. Whilst his knees curl into his stomach, because he can’t see your face and he definitely can’t look you in the eye. He fears the longer that he lets you ponder his heart, and graze him gently that he’ll back out. Due to the fact that he’s been toying at the idea for two weeks. You stomach it, thinking maybe he’s had a bad day— still, you trace your fingers tips on the freshly tanned skin of his back hoping maybe it would comfort him. Or lull him into explaining his shift in attitude.

But he’s been like this long enough now, what if he’s going through a funk, you thought. But in reality it was you praying to yourself about what you kept denying.

He wouldn’t, would he?

He lets you touch him, he lets it linger like a cut to flesh, searing, burning, stinging at the same time. Recognizing the familiar pattern, curving and then going straight down to form the shape of microscopic hearts. He wants to stay in this moment, freeze time, so that the possibility of you despising him forever wasn’t something he’d have to deal with. So, he melts into the comforting touch, reminiscing on the times that it brought him infamous joy and not gracious amounts of sorrow.

He knows he can’t keep you.

He knows that you can’t continue to stick around.

In his own fucked up opinion anyway.

“What’s the matter J?” His insides clinch at the nickname, one only you typically called him. It was reserved for you in fact. And you weren’t a plain idiot, after a little over a year together, knowing when somethings off with your partner tends to become prominent.

But this … this was true anguish.

Mental anguish, if you will.

Grieving and missing you, when you’re a fingertips touch away. The great fall of JJ Maybank and Y/n was to ensue, and he was preparing himself for it. Realizing no amount of preparing could heal the hole that losing you will cause.

“M’okay bab-“ the pet name on the tip of his tongue comes to a hault, as if he were about to insult you by saying it. Something that he says out of habit and instinct that he couldn’t shake. God, he just wanted to call you baby in constant rotation. It was routine, but it couldn’t be any longer.

He has to follow through on every step of this path to breaking up with you, and if icing you out is what he has to do then he will. He solely wanted to sulk in his last few pleasing memories he’ll ever have with you. Beginning to break his ways in this relationship with you piece by piece. Hoping it would make the leaving part all the more ‘easier’.

Whilst you were oblivious, he was dying inside.

“M’okay,” he repeated, and stuck with it.

What the fuck was that? You thought.

Your facial features scrunched up in disgust at the dry response, the boy that was involved and cared what you had to say even about the stupidest things, usually; has a tone of no interest. He couldn’t see you, hence his back being turned away from you, but he felt the reaction through your stopped movements on the subtle skin of his back.

A grave dispense of heartache is upon them.

You say we should talk, it's falling apart

I hate when you say this

I feel like a child

I know it's denial

I'm going through phases

As anyone’s mind would wander in this situation, you felt unwelcome. Unwelcome in JJ’s room at the chateau. Unwelcome near JJ. The entirety of your presence seemed as if it wasn’t needed here.

“Something has to be JJ.”

Has to be.

It rung in his hears, and struck a sutured nerve or two. Because he didn’t want you to know something was wrong, or to even be let in that realm of his thoughts. You also have this agitation towards JJ right now as he’s treating you as if you don’t exist.

When at one point you were the only one in a room full of people.

You pull him back by his shoulder, forcing this fulfillment of eye contact. A weeping tear glazing over his eyes, a sob he’s been holding in the short hour you’d been over. He can’t keep it together but, he’s trying for the life of him. Even if you hadn’t seen the isolation of a salty tear forming, you sense the numbness in his features. Caught so off gaurd, mouth parted and all he can do is stare up at you with no emotion.

The boy you love was eons away.

Meanwhile that boy is compelling himself to not love you anymore.

And no, he didn’t want to see you go. You were his lifeline—on this constant high that he couldn’t come down from. You kept him high in the ways weed didn’t.

Knowing that he’ll be at this record breaking low when you’re gone makes him want to spiral. But, he’s not what’s preeminent for you, he’s not what’s best— anymore antics with the Pogues and he’ll ruin you. He’s baffled it’s even lasted this long.

“Why’s something have to be wrong?”

You’re propped up on your knees to the mattress, his blonde tresses are sprawled out against the pillow just as beguiling as he’s always been. Yet, not the same.

“I don’t know you just haven’t … you haven’t-“

“I haven’t what?” He bites back, sheer irritation. Adding to fuel of the irate frustration that’s being built upon brick my brick. One push and it’s all coming down. Though he needed his last few weeks with you to be pure elation, he can’t help but detach himself already. Protecting you, all whilst protecting his own sauntering feelings.

“You haven’t touched me in weeks JJ … everytime we kiss it feels like you don’t mean it. I can’t be the only one putting in effort here.”

You were right, going from his hands all over you anytime, anyplace so, a love language of utmost physical touch— to absolutely zilch. Not even a hug or a hand hold. Essentially stuck to you like a sticker, that sticker has fallen off, been stepped on, ripped, and trampled in rain.

JJ wanted to slam his head against the wall until it was fucking blue. He had to act like he wasn’t phased, a douchebag or an asshole. Quietly hoping it would make the letting go less intense. Lovelorn, at most.

He’s wrong. So utterly wrong.

What is he doing? — in a larger sense.

“Anything else you wanna’ complain about?”

End it now or hold off longer? JJ battled with himself again.

Get lost in love or escape it? If you love her let her go. You know this won’t be good for her. You’re such a fuck up. And again.

Your eyebrows knit together, you hadn’t known what you were saying could be taken out of context into a complaint. You’d let him be out of tune for long enough, you bit your tongue long enough, it was long enough. A stranger could tell something was desperately wrong.

You just wanted him to fix it.

You just wanted JJ.

“I wasn’t complaining J,” You pleaded almost, a quiver could be sensed in your voice. “I-I feel like you’re disgusted with me … like are you even attracted to me anymore?”

His irritation grows as that could never be a possibility. His undying attraction towards you has multiplied since kindergarten. You were the first one to notice him that school year— his dad gave him a pack of crackers for lunch, not caring about the child’s well being. And you, shared a PB&J with him, it’s been his favorite since that day.

And so have you.

You knew that, often taking advantage of it by getting your way with him, whenever need be.

If only you knew what he’s struggling to get off of his chest now. He can’t even believe there’s a version of his world without you in it.

“Please shutup.”

Is all he can suffice, as it’s minimal and not giving away too much. But it still pings at the strings of your heart all the same. Glaring, he presses a hand to his forehead, thumb and index finger colliding with his temples— to infer that you were giving him a headache on the verge of a migraine.

Tears are now pricking at the crevices of your eyes.

Why is he talking to me like that? You thought.

The hairs on the back of your neck stood tall, your body intensely drenched in the heat of JJ’s lackluster coated tongue.

Passionless so it seems.

You fought the tears wearily, even still they streamed and he held his hands over his eye’s because he can’t stand to see it. He can’t stand to see himself being the cause of those sopping tears— though he would be eventually anyway.

Just not now, he doesn’t know if he can do this. His insides are physically wearing away at the sound. He can’t comfort you as he would, due to it wringing the both of you by the neck when it comes to the end. For him it would reel him back in, and make him stay repeatedly. And you, it’s going to be all the more difficult to let go.

You known each other since before you knew how to spell, how do you let go of that?

“… t-then are you fucking around with someone? You’re cheating on me aren’t you?!”

He was astonished such a sin would leave your mouth. You thought it was in his nature to have such relations with another— he’s let your imagination run widely enough.

And he thinks he’s going to throw up— legitimately puke all over his bed, full on having to push you out of the way.

He’d overcome so much to get you, winning you a little over 365 long days ago.

All for what?

For nothing?

To just have you sit here and think the worst of him?

“If you aren’t going to shut the fuck up, you can go.”

Feel like I'm going insane, I'm going through phases

Pharmacy's rotting my brain, I'm going through phases

Heaven is calling my name, I'm going through phases

Oh, oh, yeah

I'm going through phases

He vowed he’d never do this to you, there for each other whilst having no one. Any of this, really, but being spiteful on top of it is making your hands clammy and your mouth dry, Now, he opens his eyes and removes his hands, sat upward as he gestures toward the door. Jaw clenched with a heaving chest, it was a damn insult to call him a cheater. It was agonizing. He’d never made you leave, even in the smallest of arguments he wants to make up seconds after. Cracking jokes about ‘how hot you looked while mad at him.’

After he’s done with you, you’re going to wish he’d cheated.

It’s menacing and erie, the repulsive silence that surrounds the two of you. He’s just fiddling with the rings amongst his fingers. Abruptly brought out of his trance once you leap off of the bed. Yanking his Bait Shop Tee past your shoulders, you throw it at him. It catches wind with hair, plopping him directly in the face, falling into his lap.

He deserves it.

He stood by not looking whilst you changed like he perpetually tended to do. You could’ve been the sun, the way fuming exhaust radiated off of your body. Slipping your head into your sweatshirt, whilst rummaging through his floor for your shorts— doing so quickly, if you were to look back on it you’d recall every moment of this painstakingly long conversation.

He cups his face into his own hands at the ‘last’ thing you’d say to him. Watching you rush past his door.

“If I wanted to be in a relationship by myself, I would’ve just stayed single.”

Collapsing into your side of the bed beside him, he takes in your remaining scent. So sensual, he wouldn’t get that satisfying scent again. Grasping the open flesh of his chest in misery. He’s torturing himself.

You’d eat those words.

Swim in the dark

The water is changing

Floating away, the fear in my brain

The feeling is fading

Kie frantically called you in urgency, days later. There was a plan to unfold, one that would be the cause of you resenting the Pogues for years to come. They were closer with JJ, you didn’t have as much freewill as the four of them did, or so much as you didn’t have the guts to leave your parents wondering where you are for days on end. You didn’t fit, the outcast of the group. The Pogues accepted you as you were but there was a tendency, that they too would agree, to gravitate towards JJ.

Even when the two of you were pining and it was all 'no Pogue on Pogue macking," blah blah blah, they never intervened.

You were JJ’s girl.

They knew it before you did.

Alike, with how they knew the outcome of the blood curdling screams to follow.

The elongated porch of the Chateau is fully occupied like how it normally would be, but there is no JJ.

Unbeknownst to you, he's on the other side of the front door. The same front door that's attached to the porch, and tended to be used for eavesdropping. JJ’s back is against it, clothing hanging off of his feeble frame. He didn't have an appetite, didn't have the motivation to shower, or even comb a hand through his hair.

What use to have meaning, is now meaningless without you.

This is what JJ intended, to have the Pogues did his dirty work. And after seeing JJ's current condition they obliged without much convincing. He didn't mind his friends getting caught in the crossfire, because as long as they were involved you'd detest them too. Meaning, there'd be no trace of you here.

He didn't have the fucking guts to break it to you himself; always caving and falling back under your spell.

Having the Pogues do it is more reasonable for the both of you, or at least he thought. You loathing all of them wouldn't make you come around and that was a sacrifice JJ had to make, for he feared if he saw you again, he'd become a ghost. Already a shell of the person he use to be.

Utter captivation and enrapture would be no more. He'd abhor himself if he let you witness another bloddy nose, another 'help me I'm in trouble text message', another close loss of life.

He beckoned he was much too treacherous and threatening to your purely refined soul.

There's life before you, during you, and now he has to attempt an after.

Here goes nothing.

You say it's not me

I hate when you say this

I'm falling apart

I'm starting to scar

I'm going through phases, yeah

Sheer exhaustion nearly causes you to miss a step, hand gliding with the screen door of the Chateau. You hadn't slept a wink, yearning for a sign that JJ still was still lathered in infatuation along with you, but there hadn't been. Two and two were coming together, and you weren't heedless no, just in open denial. In fact, you were willing to forgive the events of days ago to relive any sentiment with your boyfriend.

But that wasn't going to happen.

Not in this eternity, but he hopes to see you in the next.

With each inch you take towards the couches atop the porch that Kie, John B, and Pope were sat on, the atmosphere was muggy and rancid of thick air, fitting. The floral printed couch was where JJ hesitantly kissed you for the first time, slow and everlasting. Maybe if you touched your lips one more time, you'd be able to feel the linger of it again.

Kie is pacing with a box in her hands now upon seeing you closer in vison and throats are clearing as you stop in your tracks to end your approach on them. The box is lidded and closed, so the contents were unknown. Her lips curve into a sympathetic smile.

Fuck, you knew the end.

They were told to make it short and sweet, and at the sound of Kie's voice conversing with yours JJ perks up like a little dog that’s awaiting a treat. Except this was no treat.

Far from it.

"What's the emergency you called about?" You question, noting nothing of an emergency. Pope and John B are peering down at the cracked wooden boards below, allowing Kie to soften the blow. "And where's JJ-"

"He told me to give this to you Y/n."

You take the cardboard box that's planted into your hands, lifting its taped down lid your heart might as well have fell to your feet. Grabbing onto something, legs about to give out from beneath you. JJ's palm is flat against the bordered door, skin anticipating to be one with yours again.

Inside the box were shattered pieces of you and JJ combined. Your relationship shriveled into something so little, so insignificant. His film from the specific camera he purchased for photos of you and him aside from his other one. Claiming he wanted to savor every second he spent with you, but now as he can't digest the hard-to-swallow pill. He thinks you would be better off with them. A pink bear, that was dressed in overalls, JJ named it 'pinky', from another various date that the two of you went on to Build a Bear. Neither of you had been as children, healing apart of the untouched inner child in one another. There was the t-shirt you'd given him last year for his birthday, that read I heart my girlfriend, with an image of you in the middle of the heart. You could've went on and on about how each individual item in that box made you feel, but its not the items.

Its why are they in this Goddamn box?

"He doesn't want to be with you anymore."

Kies plummeting, echoing, and spit-firing words are the last thing you hear before the box clashes with the creaking floor of the porch. And you just knew JJ wasn't going to be one to miss out on this 'show' that he created.

Hiding behind a door and sending you off to venture a life without him, was a fucking slap to the face. A punch even, maybe even a headlock.

Who does he think he is to leave you so empty?

To leave you to peace together this mess of used-love?

You're pushing past them in absolute mortifying embarrassment. The infuriation towards them hasn't kicked in yet, but you were sure it would when you'd be left alone and inside you room pondering how you lost everything in a moments glance.

To have the Pogues break up with you for him, was a new rock bottom even for JJ.

Your fist collides with the broad door frequently, ear clasping against it to be met with nothing. JJ's face is buried in his knees whilst he sobbed with aching coughs in between, unable to catch his breath. Matching your cries that are too spilling out. So vulnerable on his own and for his person, or the one that was his person.

The end of all either of you have known.

"You're a fucking coward JJ!"

It seeps off of your tongue and causes a collision like dynamite, the daggers of the Pogues eyes are digging into your back. You continue to drag forward on the door, fist likely drawing blood from how hard its hitting.

"I wish I never even met you, d'you know much better off I'd be?!"

And you wouldn't be, neither of you would be the same. Sharing a love story others dream about when they sleep, and sharing an ultimate ending that most would dread. He whimpers as this is this the exact reaction, he'd been positive about, despite which way he approached it.

'Please don't forget how much I love you baby.'

He speaks to himself, as if you were here. Etching a baby in for the hell of it, the final hoorah.

You've resulted to kicking door, animosity, exasperation, and displeasure roped into one. John B is pulling you away, as he doesn't want the door to come off its hinges. Even still you shove John B away from you, running from the life you once knew.

"Can't believe I let myself love someone like you!"

Someone like you.

What's the point of love if it's not real?

Hanging onto me and in your feels

I can't even tell if it's the same to me

I'm falling apart, I know it's denial

I'm going through phases

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disruptivevoib · 1 month

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hi! ive listened to some of chonny jash's songs but did not realize that there was really a story? Or i vaguely knew but didn't have the time/energy to get into it and with the release of the bidding animation ive realized theres like a bajillion awesome animations and art and i want to get into cccc but have no clue how. also why does soul have a trident.

OH man!

The story of CCCC has an overall seeming narrative, but much of it's smaller points are interpretive due to Jash himself leaving it up to fans of the album. But! Overall it kind of goes like:

-Jash or, what most people call Whole, splits as due to mental dissonance and waning mental health. (Time Machine Reprise).

- Whole fades into Soul (End of TMR into Dream) and from there its Mucka Blucka as a sort of introductory song. The recap for a story you have or haven't heard yet.

- (The entire album is a time loop! Which is a big metaphor for the cycles of mental health and illness people go through.)

- From there its the section called "Cacophony" which starts off with Soul, but eventually it turns to Heart and Mind + their fighting and inability to see or listen to one another or their points of view. Of course, as Logic and Emotion, they both have valid ideas or opinions, but believe themselves so contradictory that the other must be evil or out to get them.

- Heart attempts to shoot Mind, as referred to in Ruler of Everything. Literal or Metaphorical as you take this, it is seemingly symbolic for an attempt at one's own life if not self sabotage. If not then both.

- The rest up until Soul Eclectic is sort of just the Mind and Heart fighting and their own personal views each on the situation.

- Soul in The Soul Eclectic reaches his breaking point. Threatening to kill them all (A more direct attempt at suicide)

- Mind and Heart in the subsequent songs decide to get their shit together.

- (Two Wuv) Soul realizes that not only can they be happier now but that trying to force themselves to conform to society's ideas of mental health or belief or love is just plainly unbeneficial. Sort of a song about unapologetically being yourself.

- Welcome To Tally Hall is a tribute to Tally Hall themselves more than anything.

- This transfers into Concord soon after! Concord is Whole or Jash by himself, though many of the songs seem to carry themes from Cacophony in them. Self sabotage, disagreement, importance placed on the wrong thing, the idea that no one person is better off than another. It concludes with Taken for a Ride. Which is also sort of CJ's epic "im burnt out as hell" song towards the end. But exaggerated to my knowledge for lyrical shenanigans.

That is CCCC as neutrally told as best as possible. I highly recommend forming your own ideas on it, but I'd be happy to also discuss more in depth my opinion on each song should you or anyone else express interest!

Getting into the Trident: The fandom took the metaphor of "Tridential Sovreignty" and "This trident he formed (found? Lyrics.) is both weapon and motive" and said "Soul's got a trident" to which Jash responded with "Absolutely yes he does now" Same with the crown most people put Mind in, and that is referenced in the "Trident, Crown and Blindfold" line.

Soul really did get noose imagery, a trident and a mask. All Heart n Mind got were a blindfold and crown. Lmao

Though Heart is also commonly drawn with wings. Which is semi-canonical according to album covers. I choose to ignore them because I don't particularly have an attachment to the idea!

Getting into the fandom itself, I can recommend looking around for the Chonny Jash Fan Server (CJFS) Discord link. But it can be extremely intimidating and even I just stick to discussion and one other thread channel. (Sides from my au channels which pop up every once a month or so).

Important note is that only Tally Hall covers have to do with HMS. Any of Jash's other music (of which I highly recommend, always) is unrelated. There is also a fan QnA somewhere that was done like a year ago now which has some neat answers in it.

I, again, am happy to go into my interpretations of HMS and the music as a whole but skdmsm saved you the reading hopefully should that be undesired!

#chonnys charming chaos compendium #asks #voidthoughts #i def reccomend looking at analysis of the album too! calamarispider has good ones but idrm if kai ever put them here or if it kept them on #twitter only #i have my own but its been taking me too long so lol maybe people asking would help motivate me OSNFJSNS

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silawastaken · 1 month

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I love seeing people compare music to their favourite characters and go like 'oh yeah this verse might be this character... and then this one is the other one... and then this little bit here is them both honestly. Or something like that' because I HAVE gone through every taylor swift song on evermore and folklore and compared it to skk. Sorry to be autistic on the writing account, but this is a fanfic writing account and I'm writing my second novel length fic about them so what did you expect.

folklore/evermore are very canon skk, and verge into fanon and some songs are the reason for very specific head canons, or some of the ways I write the way they perceive each other. 1989... DON'T GET ME STARTED OMFG HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO BLANK SPACE? I THINK IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO NOT HAVE AND OMG IT'S SO SKK CODED LIKE WTF. I HAVE VERY FIRM OPINIONS ABOUT WHICH LYRICS ARE THEIRS. Also the vault tracks literally exist what more do you want from me. 'i think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running and say the one thing I've been wanting' okay dazai pack it up you did that already, beast exists. 'i call my mom sister she said that it was for the best remind myself the more i gave you'd want me less' yeah yeah chuuya we know he left you get over it, it wasn't personal(think that line could go for either of them but the other line 'the way you faded till i left' feels more Dazai personally). Plus suburban legends. For personal reasons I struggle to listen to song without SPIRALING FUCK YOU THAT ONE PERSON SEHDHSSJNS but very skk as well 'we were born to be national treasures' is very soulmates of them. And out of the woods screams them in fanfic when they try to get better. Red, straight away all too well. They both remember it all too well. All too well skk cover with switching vocals anyone? The last time. The one with gary lightbody. Underrated song, is my favourite on that album, and SO THEM. 'this is the last time you tell me ive got it wrong, this is the last time i wont hurt you anymore' because they're fated to be together and are constantly drawn to each other and yet keep HURTING EACH OTHER RAGH. also 'we are never getting back together' is pretty funny and nice when applied to them. also state of grace. any taylor song with a mild drop of religious imagery is them cause yeah. but 'i never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same'... okay pack it up, we don't have time for your yearning. 'you were never a saint' (dazai abt chuuya) 'and i loved in shades of wrong' (bc hes toxic and doesnt know how to healthily like people) 'we learned to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts' (bc they continue anyway and stick it out, living with the pain of being bad for each other because of how deeply they care). I almost do. Dazai after leaving. moving on to more religion, holy ground. 'for the first time i had something to lose' 'and i guess we fell apart in the usual way, and the storys got dust on every page' AAAAAA IT'S THEM. Can't really speak on debut- but I've listened to our song and picture to burn and if picture to burn isn't a vengeful chuuya idk what is. BOY OH BOY SPEAK NOW.

excuse me. one moment.

Mine- literally a skk au

Sparks fly- 'the way you move is like a rainstorm and im a house full of cards, you're the kind of reckless that should send me running' that entire verse screams dazai's fascination with corrupted chuuya, and the whole song is well yeah

back to december- dazai when they reunite just trust me on it just trust me on it. the repetition was intentional, that's how serious i am. 'i go back to december all the time' 'I got back to december to make it all right'

speak now- might just be me but it really makes me think of teen skk in fanfic harbouring urges to ruin the others relationship for 'some reason. I don't know, seeing him with her just... irks me'.

the story of us- first verse is chuuya, second verse is dazai, and the third is them both because they're LOSERS and they LOVE EACH OTHER and FUCK I'm CRYING NOW. 'id tell you i miss you but i don't know how' EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BASTARD.

enchanted- self explanatory. for more context, i really think it's from dazai's pov in this case, could probably be both, but dazai fell first and harder so it's really like god he's been in love ever since he got kicked into that wall he wants him around forever. He held Chuuya's hand in the fight with rimbaud and then had all those close moments in the manga and went home to lie on his bed kicking his feet and giggling don't lie. (god im still crying this isn't helping)

better than revenge- they're both pretty vengeful idk it makes me think of iwsynttr for some reason

haunted- chuuya pov. 'i thought i had you figured out, something's gone terribly wrong' 'stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had' they're so sad, but the general idea of chuuya thinking he has figured out dazai and knowing how he thinks and then dazai just leaves suddenly and he's like 'Wow! I thought i knew you. How do i forget this'. 'wont finish what you started' bringing chuuya into the mafia then leaving it.

last kiss- 'you told me you love me so why did you go away' chuuya pov again oh god it hurts why am i doing this to myself? 'never imagined we'd end like this, your name, forever the name on my lips' yep yep ow.

LONG LIVE.- LISTEN. TO. THE. SONG. AND TELL ME IT'S NOT DAZAI AND CHUUYA. I COULD DO A WHOLE ANALYSIS ON JUST THIS SONG. 'promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever, but if god forbid fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye...please tell them my name, tell them how the crowds went wild, tell them how i hope they shine, long live the walls we crashed through, i had the time of my life with you' FUCK IT'S DAZAI AN HE'S IN LOVE WITH CHUUYA AND DOESNT KNOW ODAS GONNA DIE YET, JUST THINKS HE DOESNT GET TO KEEP ANYTHING HE WANTS. FUUUUUCK. THEY'RE IN LOVE AND DAZAI WANTS IT REMEMBERED PLEASE I'M SO SAD.

anyway, i can't pretend I'm normal about skk anymore i haven't even covered fearless, reputation, lover or midnights please somebody encourage me to actually write full things dedicated to each album and the most fitting songs from said albums please i'll do it and plus i need to actually gather proof for my autism diagnosis appointment so this would be a good way to to that probably. anyway yeah this'll never make it out my drafts lol

#this is finally out of my drafts after months #dedicated to the anon who asked and the one who said abt the fearless song idk if you're the same person but either way love you lots 🤞#i love taylor swift so much #i love skk more #im sorry for this #but the brainrot is real #this was written at like 3am in January #bsd #silas yaps #soukoku #soukoku fanfiction #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs #taylor swift

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27-royal-teas · 9 months

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literally on my knees begging for the phoenix essay because it’s my all time fave fall out boy song and it makes me feel emotions on the shrimp spectrum

ok!! well!! ask and you shall receive, dear anon, your wish is my command :)) and because i love when people are excited about what i have to say and you are very nice <33 however, i will warn you, this is less of a structured essay and more of a massive infodump, so be warned !!

OK SO. THE PHOENIX. first off musically it's a fantastic song. and its actually scientifically proven that typically strings are used to increase musical tension and emotional tension so usually when you hear fast strings it means that they (the artist) want you to feel stressed, angry, or excited. We can apply this to the beginning of The Phoenix specifically because fob wants you to get hyped!!! It's their opening song for their newest album and for them, this shit is TERRIFYING. will you still want them or will you skip to another song? It's such a stark contrast to the first line of cork tree ("brothers and sisters, put this record down") because they want you to do the exact opposite of that. This is the one they want to use to hook you, to pull you in. Fall Out Boy is back, and this time they've brought even more intensity than before. They want to know: will you still be here? will you listen? these strings are not quite the old fall out boy, will you find them compelling and stick around?

andys drum work on this song is also INCREDIBLE. It's got this pounding, heavy beat. i constantly say that andy is the backbone of the band and i feel like that's more musically apparent in this song than anything. If i really want to scrounge for symbolism, I can say that by making andy's drumbeat stand out so much more in this song, the band is saying that they as a whole are more stable and reliable, just like their backbone. the drummer keeps the beat, the pace. they keep the band on track. together, the instruments (drum, strings, bass) bring the song together into a really rounded sound and it feels so FULL. there are some songs that are spiky, but this one is round all the way through.

and now that we're through with talking about the music itself, let's talk about the lyrics. i love the lyrics in this song so fucking much. it's so pete wentz and even more than that it's the most perfect song to open with. im gonna try to discuss every line and how it relates to the album and fall out boy's history at the time of release + they message they attempt to convey with this song and album. ive been wanting to make an essay on this for a while actually so thank you for giving me this ask as an opportunity to barf my stupid brain out onto tumblr

ok anyway let's start off with the first line-- "put on your war paint". this line is repeated twice: the very beginning and the very end. Why? because it's bold. this album is called save rock and roll. it is giving us a mission to accomplish from the very start. we are gearing up for a war. this is the image that is being painted of the entire album, and it starts from the very beginning- put on your war paint, prepare for battle. the first song is us (cough, the band, cough) preparing for the war as a whole. this is the intro, the gather, the plan. because we are saving rock and roll, through this album. this is the revival. we are bringing it home. this part musically is very strong and it feels like structure. we are showing here how much power and stability we have. also it makes me think of that one picture of pete putting on eyeliner

i am skipping the entire first verse for now but i will be back to it in a bit i promise! i want to talk about the chorus: “hey Youngblood/ doesn’t it feel/ like our time is running out/ im gonna change you like a remix/ then I’ll raise you like a phoenix”. we’re just going to go over the first half first because it’s kind of long. I think it’s in interesting choice, ‘Youngblood’. it kind of makes me think of mcr’s killjoys. it’s the motif, i guess— this haunting youth. ‘Youngblood’ addresses us ourselves, full of life and blood and rage. it again goes with the plot line of the album. the chorus has a paced feel, like running through a field at top speed. ‘like our time is running out’ references again the portion of ‘we were gone for so long, will you still listen?’ fall out boy’s limited time is nearly out here. they are fighting the clock. they are years older and more mature and they’ve GROWN. their time is running out and they are begging us to listen. and then my FAVORITE line, probably in this whole song. ‘I’m gonna change you like a remix, then I’ll raise you like a phoenix’. This entire album is a result of change. Folie a Deux was harshly criticized by the media and the fans because it was a change from fob’s norm. they were mocked mercilessly and basically TOLD TO CHANGE. now, here, they are back, they have made it through alive, and they are better than ever. basically, they have changed but on their own terms. you know how a phoenix is reborn through their ashes? They burn to a crisp when they’ve reached their limit and 100 years later are reborn as babies again. This is why the phoenix is such an important song to open with from the beginning of the album, as well as a fantastic metaphor for the band themselves— because it tells you from the start. Fall out boy is the same, but they have changed. They have grown. And they are better than ever, musically and mentally. This is also good symbolism for rising again even when defeated, which I’ll touch on again later

now, onto the second half of the chorus. The phoenix line is repeated, but preceding that is "wearing our vintage misery/ no, i think it looked a little better on me". fall out boy is kind of known as being part of the 'emo trinity' which, at the time of release, consisted of MCR, FOB and Panic! At The Disco. Personally id replace panic with paramore just because i dislike brendon urie strongly but thats just me. anyway, emo as a subculture in itself is incredibly emotional, and that's the point- emo is short for emotional. (feel free to correct me about any of this at any point of time btw, i am in no way an expert). a consistent trend was a lot of black clothing and the haircuts. i guess this isnt relevant. the relevant part was the emotion. fall out boy in 2009 was miserable. all the members were constantly at each other's throats, and eventually they just called it quits (everyone thought they would never come back, which is why the phoenix metaphor works here). by saying 'wearing our vintage misery' they are saying that they are bringing back that sort of emo-emotional aspect back into their new music, their trademark depressing lyrics, but it's improved. it's a better look on them now because they are doing so much better mentally than they were doing before.

let's backtrack a step to discuss the prechorus: "so we can take the world back from a heart attack/ one maniac at a time we will take it back/ you know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start so dance alone to the beat of your heart". pete fucking went OFF in this entire song but this section specifically. musically, the prechorus slows it down. it gives the song tension before exploding into the chorus. the first half of the prechorus again brings up the image of SAVE ROCK AND ROLL. i cant exactly recall what horrific events happened in 2013 to give the world a metaphorical heart attack, because i was very young and stupid and unaware of a lot, but i love the word choice here. one MANIAC at a time we will take it back. we are uniting the beaten, the broken and the damned. pretty much all the big names in emo have made their alliances clear: we take in the ones you don't want. they are the hufflepuffs of music. we will take your maniacs, we will take your people. we will build an army of the ones no one loves and we will take back our world together. possibly im interpreting this wrong but. i just think that's a really lovely image.

(also, pete has a motif in his songs-- mania. theres the entire album, for one, but this, as well.)

"time crawls on when youre waiting for the song to start so dance alone to the beat of your heart" is less obviously clear about rebellion and taking back change but it still is incredibly strong about this nonetheless. you can't sit and wait around for change. you can't expect the good things to come to you immediately, that isn't how the world works. when no one is there to lead you, to guide you, you're gonna have to do it yourself. your heart is steady and it knows the way. trust it. dance alone to the beat of your heart.

ok so now im going back to the first verse. sorry for skipping around the song so much. "you are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down/ strike a match and i'll burn you to the ground" i feel like honestly this line is kind of obvious- someone is holding him (pete) back. i'm not going to outright say it was about ashlee (his current ex-wife) because pete never explicitly confirmed it but it definitely seems super likely judging by the time this was written (pete and ashlee divorced in 2011, which was two years before this song was released).

at this point in writing this essay brain barf my thoughts have become a little dead so im looking at lyricgenius to see what they're saying and it is. so not helpful. like bro pls. add some context to WHY these lyrics are arranged this way. but never mind that FOCUS ON THE WRITING TOBY FUCK

ANYWAY. the next line in this verse is "we are the jack o' lanterns in july, setting fire to the sky/ here, here comes with this rising tide, so come on/ put on your war paint". another theme constantly in Pete Wentz Lyrics is summer. i am drawing the connection here specifically from this song and fourth of july. and there it is again! put on your war paint!

fun fact: the story of the jack o lantern apparently is that some guy named jack made a bargain with satan and was doomed to wander the earth with only the company of a hollowed out turnip. again-- the wanderers. we bring in the wanderers, we take them as our own. we are the light in the darkness. we will set the world ablaze. so come on! get ready for war! we will roll in with the tide, and like a tide, we will destroy if we have to, not because we want to, but because it is in our nature.

final line in the verse: "cross walks and crossed hearts and hope to die/ silver clouds with grey lining". these are two popular phrases that have been altered in minor ways that make a huge difference. ive noticed pete tends to do that often. here hes changed 'cross my heart and hope to die' and 'every cloud has a silver lining'. this change is super important because it flips the themes of the two phrases (The Truth Has Been Spoken and There Is Always a Positive, respectively) and it darkens it. what is the correlation between cross walks and hoping to die? the cars. and by saying 'silver clouds with grey lining' he is flipping the saying to read as 'even though something seems light, there is always a dark side... kind of like a yin yang. which makes me think of the current logo, the smiley-frown. it's always about balance and it's always about an even distribution. but that is irrelevant.

and let's have a chat about the second verse: "bring home the boys in scraps/ scrap metal the tanks/ get hitched, make a career out of robbing banks/ because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/ 'you broke our spirit' says the note we pass". this is the most important verse in the song, because this is where the entire theme shows the best. i think from the very start we can make two connections just reading this here, and i bet i can guess what you thought from the start. I bet you saw 'bring home the boys in scraps' and thought oh, toby is totally going to connect that to their motif about 'bring together the unwanted.' and i bet you saw 'we are wearing black masks' and thought ah, toby will definitely relate that to the first line in novocaine. and yeah, you're right. you know me too well, i am a predictable guy. because i 100% will. we KNOW fall out boy. the best example i can use to argue my first point off the top of my head is that they were initially marketed to teenage girls. they were a pop band. i mean, no one can really call them pop now (god, i miss music from the 2000s) but, yeah. no one in the rock or punk scene wanted teenage girls to like their music (because clearly teenage girls were so uncool or whatever) so fall out boy marketed themselves to them. they took in the fans no one wanted.

also, a bank teller is the person who handles customer cash, which is something i did not know until about twenty minutes ago. in the case of a bank robbery, the robber would pass the bank teller a note so that there would be less of a scene. these kind of robberies are called 'note jobs'. so by saying "make a career out of robbing banks/ because the world is just a teller and we are wearing black masks/ 'you broke our spirit' says the note we pass" essentially the band is using a bank robbery as a metaphor for taking back the world and the injustice that has been served to them, as the youth youngbloods. we are trying to take it back as peacefully as possible, but we are still the ones on the side with the gun. the 'note we pass' is the robbery note. lyricgenius was absolutely shit it did not help me with this i feel very proud that i connected all the dots by myself but maybe i am just an idiot and this is already common knowledge.

we are almost done- this has gotten long, a lot longer than i thought it was going to be. hope that's okay. anyway we just have to go over the bridge and then i'll summarize the song as a whole: "the war is won before it's begun/ release the doves, surrender love". this repeats five times. the war is won before it's begun. this is connected to the second part- release the doves, surrender love- because the band doesn't really WANT to fight. they don't want to HAVE to take in the people who aren't given a category. if we could just learn to love those who were different, we might not have war. we would have won it before it's begun. on the third repeat, there is chanting in the background-- 'wave the white flag'. the white flag is a sign of surrender pretty much universally, and it goes hand in hand with what's being said here. and again. i feel like i keep repeating this- it's the intro song. why would they say this? because they don't really want to fight. remember, the point of a note job is to attract as little attention as possible. we don't want a war. we don't WANT to save rock and roll- but we have to. it is our job, as youth- as youngbloods. and THAT'S the message of this song. we are preparing for a fight for justice that we would rather not take part in, but we have to, to protect ourselves and our past and our future and our people.

this is what the band is saying-- we have been gone for so long, but we are back. and we are here to help. we have changed, but you have changed too, and we are better, and together we will take back what we have lost to achieve peace, even if it takes a millenia, even if we go down fighting. because ultimately, we, ourselves, the ostracized and the mocked and the hurt, we are worth it. We will rise above it like a phoenix reborn from the ashes because we are always worth it, and we will always come back.

#i wrote this in three different days with huge time gaps in between I hope it’s comprehensible #toby speaks #Toby’s asks #Toby’s meta #fob #fall out boy #save rock and roll #srar #the phoenix #I physically can’t look at this anymore if I do I’ll throw up #Hope you like it anyway anon!!! i appreciate the ask so much they’re so fun sorry for being so slow to answer #patrick stump #joe trohman #andy hurley #pete wentz

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maxe-murderer · 9 months

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so uh, tssm band au i guess

might eventually do the rest of the designs but i doubt im gonna do anything with this au aside from some art and daydreaming

thank you @voltrixz for the continued fueling of my brain rot

ramblings abt the au under the cut

ok so sandmans lead guitar, shocker is rhythm guitar and also electric banjo when the vibe fits and vocals (baritone/tenor range), electro plays bass (can play guitar but mains bass) and vocals (baritone with particularly good low growly notes), vulture gets the keys and can sing but doesn't do much aside from some backup here and there for the whole group (baritone/tenor but like, softer, good falsetto), rhinos drums and vocals (bass), and ock gets the mother fucking theremin he does also swap out for keys tho (but he's mostly a classical piano type)

their style is very all over the place but stick mostly to rock and similar feeling genres. each song tends to feel a bit more like one persons style in particular. they swap around vocals depending on the vibe with the more growly, heavy metal, screaming type vocals going to electro and rhino while shocker and vulture are more traditional ig with their singing. ock does most the composing and vulture majority of the lyric writing. they're in a constant state of breaking up, getting back together, and rearranging members

spider-band! ok so peter of guitar and vocals (tenor, he's the front man), gwen on drums and vocals (mezzo-soprano), and harry plays keys (cause cmon no way he wasn't required to take piano lessons or smth) and will do some backup vocals but like he's not a singer and he knows it. mj joins later on and plays bass, she joins in on the backup vocals (alto) when with the band but does have an insane voice, she does do plenty of solo work tho.

mysterio plays like, everything. but is most known for playing the electric violin cause cmon its a fuckin electric violin that shits cool. high baritone tenor (just like, imagine the phantom ok that was my only thought process with this decision). he did try to go into acting but for as great as he is with everyone on tech he's a little shit to work with if he's onstage and too cheesy for most directors. fucking ate as carlos in a production of legally blonde once tho. he works a lot with chameleon (somehow manages to do great hair, makeup, and costuming) and tinkerers some sorta techie but my tech experience is all theater and i know jack about instruments and shit

black cat imma say is an alto (listen i was an alto for a long while before i became a tenor) and like, i think poppy is a good point of reference for some of the vibes im getting for her. and in general a mix of like, sultry seductive type songs and straight up heavy metal.

ok sandman and rhino were/are obviously a duo, shocker does his own solo stuff and is a part of the enforcers (its straight up country),

literally no fucking clue for kraven. ok i think this is everything i thought of. if you read all of this thank you lmao

ok its 1am and i got shit to do tmrrw love yall talk to me abt this show at any time pls

#max's art #max rambles #tssm #spectacular spider man #tssm band au #im proud of some of these and happy with the rest #sandman was surprisingly rlly fun #and i gotta give him tattoos which i always like #i was thinking abt those blackout tattoos with him and also played off of his name and the folklore of the sandman with the poppy tattoo #cause yknow #poppies are associated with sleep and all that #i dont think this is technically my first time drawing instruments but it basically was cause i cant remember the other time i did #i just know it prob happened #it was surprisingly fun

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mr-grizzed · 5 months

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I LOVE HOW THE NOWHERE KING IS WRITTEN.

the title says it all!

but lemme go more in depth. centaurworld spoilers under the cut.

OK. so let me get started. basically where it starts is only being mentioned by name maybe TWICE before the season finale? and you forget all about it by the time you get there, due to the shows Wacky Antics and what not… but hes never truly elaborated upon? which i really like? its just a really vague lullaby that sounds really nice and then you hear the lyrics and ur like "Oh Yeah Ok i guess." and then you get to the rift, horse and rider meet up and for like 2 seconds ur like "HOORAY!" and then the GOOP starts dripping and ur like "oh nah." and then one of the hardest villain designs in fiction just APPEARS? and hes IMMEDIATELY on their ass about the key. standard villain affair after that, but he gets WAY more interesting later. trust. something that rlly sticks out to me abt the rift pt 1 and 2 is the line of "i intended to spare you all." which IM PRETTY SURE I DIDNT HALLUCINATE BUT STILL. thats just so????? What did he mean by that. also i like how when the woman appears, he IMMEDIATELY kneels and says "i never stopped thinking about you." we LOVE foreshadowing.

and then she DOES end up stabbing him, just not fatally. he escapes to the human world after they "smash his skull" and "kill him", while they all head to centaurworld. so far Yeah I Guess It ain't much but it does set up something later.

after this, in season 2, we're introduced to the general (He will be important.)

hes not rn but he will be. anywho, the nowhere king goes back to the human world, and starts amassing more of his army. he begins doing some Crazy Ass Shit fusing animals together to make super minotaurs, and just. villain affair yeah.

his story doesnt really pick up until the last episode, where horse uses her backstory magic to see whats inside of him. and as much as she sees, its just a black void.. til she does something and.

WHAT THE FUCK. normal ass elk in his brain ig?

so he introduces himself, and comments on how similar him and horse really are. horse asks wheres the nowhere king and hes like "oh. thats me. im a part of him." and then he gets hit with the "nowhere king is nothing but evil and you seem really nice!!! what do you mean youre a part of him?"

and then HERE WE FUCKING GO.

im doing this chronologically in order of timeframe when it all happened, not in timeframe of the show.

so its revealed that he USED TO BE A CENTAUR. particularly an elktaur, who was a mechanic who worked on the rift.

^ look at him.

and he kind of HATES it. he wishes he wasnt a centaur because as humans travel in and out of centaurworld, they always have to make some passing remark about how centaurs are seen as lesser than humans, to the point where he Literally Just Shoves someone through the portal to get them to stfu which. That was so fucking real of him. not to mention he literally just fixed an interdimensional portal from bugging out which ungrateful??????????? wtf u couldve died?????

then he meets this human princess.

standard love at first sight affair. he IMMEDIATELY becomes flustered as soon as shes like "we'll tell him the reason we were able to get back at all." while smiling at him.

(hi elktaur.)

ANYWHO she then leaves centaurworld, and throws a party for him at the human world for. Securing the safe travels of everyone between dimensions.

this booboo ass cake.

she then points out how hes missing his antlers, and rather has a hat on. to which he replies, "they fell off!" Oh we'll get to that

do they know how to eat a fucking cake. Sorry im getting too offtopic anyways

he then presents her with 2/6 key pieces, to which she fuses them together and makes one whole. she comments on how shes learned a lot about magic from being in centaurworld, and how you need to respect "both sides" which is going to be a MAJOR theme for these two.

he does feel, that the love isn't real though, or that it wouldnt work, due to the way he was. which was, a centaur. And we will get to what he did dont you worry

this is where we find out what happened to those antlers of his.

HE FUCKING SAWED THEM OFF. to appear more human.

he then tests the magic of the key by taking a turnip to the rift, and firing some sort of blast at it. and what hes resulted with is

it being separated into 2 things. Naturally you can see where this is going so ill cut to the chase. he blasts it at himself, hoping hell lose the side of him thats a beast, and hell be fully human, but then..

THATS RIGHT. THE FUCKING GENERAL IS THE "HUMAN HALF" OF HIM. when i saw this shit for the first time i YELLED.

the elk then proceeded to have a perfectly understandable panic attack. to which horse tries to comfort him, only going to another memory.

the elk and general confront eachother, with the elk saying "we made a mistake." and the general just absentmindedly going "yeah i shouldve invited you to the wedding lol" because he DID in fact marry the princess.

he tries to convince the other half of himself to undo the mistake theyve made, saying "we didnt even try. she couldve loved us how we were." only to be followed with, "no, she loves ME." and he straight up STARTS DROWNING THE ELK????

fortunately, it doesnt end up working.

theyre still connected. whatever affects one, affects the other. meaning that he dies if he kills the elk. so what does he do instead? well, captures him of course.

and its never shown on screen, but its stated he put him in the castles deepest dungeon, a windowless cell, which he couldnt even STAND in, for a decade.

by the time he escapes he. is a LITTLE screwed in the head. understandably. so he thinks to make his own family, by fusing humans and beasts.

he's made the first minotaur.

and this scene is especially rough because you can just SEE his slow decline into the nowhere king.

this is accentuated with him telling himself "i don't belong anywhere."

the self hatred fucking GOT him.

and he just starts to look worse and worse every time he spins that key.

Oh hey look at that hes starting to look kinda familiar

THERE WE AREEEEEEE!!!!!!

then we're brought to a scene where the princess takes the key out. to which she reality checks the FUCK out of the general.

"whatre you doing? put that thing down! havent you seen what it's done to him?"

"you locked him away in the dungeons. did you think there would be no effect?"

the princess then shatters the key, being thrown into centaurworld, with the general being thrown into the human world, and the elk -- now, nowhere king, being locked in the rift, as both doors close.

then stuff happens w rider and horse ig but this aint abt them sorry whats important is that the general tries to kill rider for shooting at the nowhere king

the princess, then appears and the general tries to counsel with her. "i had to do it! i had to do it so i could stay with you!

(images stop here bc i put too many above)

the princess then SNAPS and has her horse kick general off a cliff, to which the nowhere king follows him down.

the princess also follows them down, and uses the key, saying "let me see you how you were. one last time."

she tells him she would have loved him the way he was, after all.

and then.. she brings back the key scepter, and starts SINGING A REPRISE OF THE LULLABY FROM ALL THE WAY BACK IN THE BEGINNING, AS SHE WINDS UP AND..

ending the tale of the elk and the general, for good.

in conclusion, i am REALLY obsessed with the character and how they handled the nowhere king. the feeling of being a hopeless romantic, but having that feeling that youd NEVER be accepted, so fundamentally changing yourself and ripping yourself in half, ending up in fucking up both you, and the one you just wanted to be with, for good. not to mention the allegories for internalized racism, self-hatred, and dissociation, and GOD man hes just so fucking well written. this entire story is so well written and heartfelt, and its just. so surprising for a joke with such. Ehhh humor at points that theres this story thats so. heartfelt and dealt with so much care in the final episode thats been built on over the course of the series.

tl;dr hopeless romantic who gets racially profiled splits himself in half. shocked to learn he hurt his lover as well and gets killed for it.

tl;dr tl;dr elktaur rolls "Worst Idea Ever". asked to leave mortal plane.

#centaurworld #nowhere king #elktaur #elk #general #god hes SO fucking cool.#i needed a way to speak abt him #ill add the other images later im tired #i just spent an hour writing this #spoilers

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thesherrinfordfacility · 9 months

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oh god OH God right so crowley's comment about the richard curtis film? just hit me that he's possibly (probably? im assuming crowley is talking about screenwriter credits here) talking about the ending of four weddings and a funeral (bold choice) and i am reeling bc if im reading into this correctly neil really is letting the narrative punches fly

so i dug through the yt archives to find the ending that id all but suppressed in my memory (andie macdowells acting in this brings me out in hives, crowley is such a hero for making it through this film) and-

right fuck it let's just basically do a basic transcript of it:

carrie: "i just wanted to check you're okay, not busy... killing yourself or anything, but you're fine so... i shouldn't have come to the church this morning. im sorry-"

charles: "no, no, wait- it was all my fault, i- i- im the bastard here! and it definitely sorted out one thing; that marriage and me are very clearly not meant for one another... sorted out another big thing as well- there i was, standing in the church and for the first time in my whole life, I realised i totally and utterly loved one person, and it wasn't the person standing next to me in the veil, it was the person standing opposite me now, in the rain."

carrie: "...is it still raining? i hadn't noticed..."

charles: "the truth of it is that i loved you from the first second i met you... you- you're not suddenly going to go away again, are you?"

carrie: "no... i might drown, but otherwise no!"

charles: "okay, okay, we'll go in... but first! let me ask you one thing... do you think that after we've dried off, after we've spent some more time together, you might agree not to marry me? a-and do you think not being married to me might be something you'll consider doing for the rest of your life?... do you?"

carrie: "...i do."

okay so now that you and me, reader, have had to suffer through that, i am just in shock that this, this, is the scene to which crowley is potentially referring. im not saying that he takes it as absolute inspiration for his romantic scenario idea, bc i think he is just covering for what is his own personal fantasy... but boy is it potentially insightful. as ive said before im fairly certain that whilst he was fascinated and amused by aziraphale, i certainly don't think he fell in love on the Wall like he would like to think, in retrospect, that he did.

so let's board this train hurtling along the rails of that particular thought (ie stick with me), crowley really seems to be deluded as to the love story he and aziraphale share... to the point that in ep2 when he makes the curtis remark, we can infer that whilst he may have been subconsciously reconciling his actual feelings of More with aziraphale for a long time, and only fully accepts and declares them in ep6, he's looked over their history as being more than it actually is. because this script? is not even close to what happened on the wall.

like, first of all - aziraphale is not at all andie/carrie (a divine mercy, truly). aziraphale is not passive, however much he plays into it with his damsel-in-distress syndrome, and certainly is not dim and virtually silent. aziraphale always has Things To Say. and crowley, until ep6, does not wax lyrical about his feelings, his innermost thoughts, and certainly not as 'poetically' (see: cheesy af) as a curtis script. in his playful moments he is an outright dork, but not like this.

now this bit? im going to be fanciful and fanfic-y, and very clumsy in how i put this across... but replace the context for a moment:

charles: "no, no, wait- it was all my fault, i- i- im the bastard here! and it definitely sorted out one thing; that belief and love for god and me are very clearly not meant for one another... sorted out another big thing as well- there i was, standing on the wall and for the first time in my whole life, I realised i totally and utterly loved/believed in? one person, and it wasn't the person standing in front of me when i fell, it was the person standing opposite me now, in the rain."

im not going to double down on the red bits, because it is ridiculous, but the vague idea? insane! insane to intimate that he replaced the void that was his belief system, the divine love he now lacks after falling, the betrayal he feels from god, with aziraphale! goodness crowley, this is not healthy, my guy! and then:

charles: "the truth of it is that i loved you from the first second i met you... you- you're not suddenly going to go away again, are you?"

no, i don't think you did, crowley bud- but you are definitely lonely. and lonely not even in the sense of isolation, but lonely in the sense of lack of purpose, possibly guilt and shame, and the inability to understand (or accept that you do understand) why you're currently in the position you're in. but aziraphale is not the replacement for that.

he's not there to fill the spaces where you're barely holding yourself together. you literally end up spending millennia apart in between your run-ins, and get along with it just fine... or maybe aziraphale does, but do you? is why you do the things you do, did what you did; because of this fear?

(when did i suddenly start addressing crowley directly, ah well i cba to rewrite)

the arrangement? aziraphale be in crowley's company all the time, stop him feeling lonely and make him feel wanted, but not commit to anything more than crowley can handle?

all im saying is that i hope noone dares show crowley the confession from julia roberts in notting hill without giving him a bottle of talisker and a litre of häagen-dazs first 💀

#good omens #crowley #like i may have the wrong film but i dont recall any other rain scenes like this in his work? and im a sucker for romcoms so ive watched #A LOT of curtis' work to my great chagrin #embarrassing #crowley meta #s2 meta

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an-animagi · 4 months

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christmas time!! this is my gift for @honeyblockm for the @mcytblrholidayexchange!!

i wrote a fic (which i put below the cut, and the ao3 link is here) and i was really excited to write this!! originally i planned for it to be longer but my brain switched up on me partway through, so hopefully you still enjoy this!!

ive had a lot of fun writing this actually, considering ive read one wedding fic, have been to two weddings i dont remember and all of c!quackity's experiences when it comes to engagement and marriage, and i hope you are satisfied with what ive created :)

this has rolled in at 1040 words, just in case anyone is interested (i dont usually post fics on tumblr ehe i have no clue what im doing✨✨)

ALMOST FORGOT!!! its called 'me and my husbands (we're sticking together)' stolen inspired by 'me and my husband' by mitski (i have just made the lyric plural lol)

-=~=-

Quackity almost expected to be left alone at the altar. Again.

Between the shit-storm that was his relationship with Schlatt, and then the failed wedding attempt a few months back, he hadn’t had many positive experiences of being stood at the concrete table, waiting for a time that no clock could reach.

Or, more correctly, he hadn’t had any, so sue him for setting his standards low. Maybe this time he wouldn’t have to hold back tears after the second hour. Maybe the tissues he wore as armour would protect the open wound in his back from the inevitable knife that kept getting rammed between his ribs.

But that wasn't the point. The point was, that when the heavy doors creaked open again, Quackity didn't nervously glance at them. He didn't restlessly readjust the veil covering the back of his head. His wings didn't shuffle awkwardly behind him.

(He was getting better at lying to himself.)

The door slammed shut with an echoing bang, startling the avian. Usually, anyone entering or leaving did so quietly, slipping in or out of the small hall awkwardly. Instead, when Quackity turned to face the door, his shoulders slumped and he released a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.

As the seated guests began turning their heads in alarm at the sound, Sapnap started his confident march down the aisle, hitching the skirt of his dress up part way through with a huff. Feeling his cheek feathers begin to fluff up, Quackity used all of his willpower to force them to lie flat.

God his fiance was hot.

Quite literally, too, if the faint smoke coming off his fingertips was anything to go off of. With a quick lick of his lips, the avian admired the way that the white dress accented his fiance’s features, watching the demon hybrid walk between the rows of chairs towards him.

White fabric exaggerating his pecs, Sapnap ungracefully dropped the bunched skirt as he reached the altar. If they hadn't been surrounded by both of his fiances’ family members, Quackity wouldn't have hesitated for even a second. As it was, his hand twitched with the urge to squeeze. He thanked God for giving him enough self control to not start groping his fiance’s chest at their wedding altar.

Wings twitching, Quackity met Sapnap’s eyes as they traced his body, smirking at the familiarly hungry look in his fiance’s eyes. Striking his right hip to the side, the avian suppressed a shiver at the wispy fabric of his own dress brushing past his legs and instead wiggled his eyebrows at the black-haired man.

Making a show of flirting like this made it easier for Quackity to ignore the doubts still present in the back of his mind, ignore the whispers of Karl forgetting again, ignore the slight tremble to his hands that had persisted for days and made painting his nails a much more tiresome endeavour than it should have been.

There were two of them now. Quackity could not be alone anymore.

Then, the door creaked open once more and this time the avian let himself look towards it. Sapnap turned as well, both anticipating the final member of their trio to enter the hall and join them. And neither were disappointed.

With the door falling shut behind him, Karl sheepishly grinned at the pair already at the altar. The dress he wore was the only one which reached the panelled flooring, trailing slightly behind him as he walked down the aisle towards the stone table. In his hands sat a small bouquet of flowers, yellow tulips and daffodils wrapped in a white cloth and cushioned by his palms.

A classical song Quackity couldn’t remember the name of played in the background, his thoughts fully consumed by the sight of his fiance in a pristine wedding gown rather than the odd musical choices one of the men he was marrying had made.

If asked, each of them would answer that it had been Sapnap’s idea to wear the dresses. In truth, it had been Quackity who had jokingly offered to wear a dress to their wedding, a smile tugging at his lips as the brunette of the group turned to face him and determined that he would wear the dress, that he wouldn’t mind the white and his hair would clash against it less than the other’s black.

Then Sapnap had declared that they were all wearing dresses, and it had snowballed into looking at renting or purchasing prices and deciding that weddings were expensive. The odd looks upon entering stores which sold dresses and instead being directed towards suits would likely take a while to stop staining the avian’s mind, but in the end the throuple were going to get married.

It ended in their meeting at the altar. Then something new would begin.

Soon enough Karl reached his two fiances, standing between them both with a shining grin on his face. A soft look crossed Sapnap’s face, and Quackity smiled in response, his heart beating wildly as he took in the sight of both gorgeous men in their dresses. God he loved these two so much.

As they all stood, watching each other with smiles on their faces, waiting for the ceremony to start. His stomach fluttering, Quackity couldn’t help the tears that brimmed at the corners of his eyes at the thought that after that day, nothing would be the same.

Most people would call it a new adventure but Quackity hated that. He hated the uncertainty that threatened to taint every moment and the lack of warmth, a comfort that should fill his chest, at hearing the word and the idea of there being a risk. He could lose everything all over again.

But with the adoring look in both of his fiance's eyes, the avian knew that wouldn't happen. They wouldn't let it happen.

So this was it, the start of something new.

And maybe it sounded less exciting or romantic, but Quackity liked the security. He liked being sure that the fears running wild in his mind would never form in the real world. He would never be alone again.

Not for as long as he had Karl and Sapnap.

#fanfiction #dsmp #karlnapity #mcytblrgiftexchange2023 #gift exchange #im still pretty bad at tagging oops sorry about that

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cassyapper · 9 days

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HIIIIIII omg I haven't been active much on Tumblr at all aside from mindlessly reblogging stuff :wail: anyway oh my GAWD some (a lot) of the lyrics in this song fit wwm/ta 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 also I still haven't been able to do any digital art noooooo I'm going to shrivel up and wither away if I cant soon I NEED to do things like draw ur blog banner with kakyoin on it like I said I would 😭 but anyway,,,,

"Now I am stuck between my anger / and the blame that I can't face / And memories are somethin' even / smoking weed does not replace / And I am terrified of weather / 'cause I see you when it rains" "No, I am no longer funny / 'cause I miss the way you laugh" "And it's half my fault / but I just like to play the victim" "And I'll dream each night of / some version of you / That I might not have / but I did not lose / Now you're tire tracks / and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, / but that'll have to do"

"Oh, that'll have to do / My other half was you / I hope this pain's just passin' through / But I doubt it"

AAAAAUUUUGHHHH THEM. DO YOU GET MY. MY VISION.

wait I think this song is in that one Spotify list I put together for wwm/ta oughhh,, but I never like. explained it. anyway GAUGH howve you been!!!

IT'S OKAY DUDE YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE AN ONLINE PRESENCE I JSUT HOPE YOU HAVE BEEN WELL!!!! IT'S GOOD TO SEE U BACK!!! <333 i've also been busy as hell so i get it chief

AND PLEASE IT'S OKAY IF U NEVER DRAW IT MAN I DONT WANT U TO FEEL PRESSURED AT ALL IT IS ALL GOOD IT'S ONLY IF U EVER GET AROUND TO IT <3 I WANT U TO HAVE FUN PRIORITIZE UR JOY...

as for the song oh my FUCKING GOD. IT'S SO FUCKING REAL. THIS IS SO KAKYOIN WWM/TA CORE IM GONNA BE FUCKING SICK oh im actually shivering as i type im giving into grief FUUUUCK. OH MY GOD. kakyoin.............im actually sick. im adding this to my own wwm/ta playlist like FUCK

AND IVE BEEN OKAY JSUT BUSYYYY U KNOW HOW IT IS <3 I HOPE U HAVE BEEN WELL THANK U FOR THIS SONG IM ROTATING IT IN MY HEAD

#cass cries

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virgokismet · 1 month

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heyy all ♥ here presenting another resident to the haunted 👻share-house, ienaga yuji. under the cut i've provided information about him in a bullet point list, and by clicking on the words you can read his profile, his brief biography and his pinterest board for more of a vibe-feeling. if you'd like to interact, i'm available through both IMs and discord, as i don't mind either platforms at the end of the day. thank you for your time! ♥

22, virgo sun libra rising virgo moon

been living in korea for the last 10 years! moved to busan at the age of 12 due to his parents' jobs and they just decided to stay permanently

had little to no issues with adjusting to the move! him attending the school for teens like him, whose parents moved from jpn to kor for their jobs, aided a lot in the transitional period; he was surrounded by a language he knew and he fit in comfortably, lucky enough that his new friends helped him adjust, too. his parents worked a lot so whenever yuji was not at school or with friends, he was either studying or consuming various tv shows n stuff. overall a bright child -> teen since the day he was born and how does he do it i don't know but he has to teach us all!!!

present time yuji works at viva, as a bartender. enjoys the job even if he's standing all evening / night and socializing because he's quite extroverted and energetic, enjoys being arnd people + it's sort of grown as a safe space for him too. basically switched day for night. a vampire, if i may.

will shamelessly flirt for tips, or will be like, a therapist if he has to. always schmoozing boss to let him dj but he hasn't been really successful at it....

makes friends easily and will remain that 'oh we're friends still wdym' attitude even with someone he hasn't really been in touch with for whatever reason

(buzzing sounds) if i haven't done the math right please let's pretend i did but, character and concept design graduate

in the way of every designer, he's a free spirit and doing like fifty things at once :+) making posters, adjusting and sewing own clothes, screen printing shirts, making his own jewellery, if given the chance would even dabble in tattooing? bring out the stick n poke set! will try everything at least once because how can you know if you like something if you haven't tried it?

his true passion, however, is producing music; which is why i mentioned he wants to dj as well. yes he does have a spotify AND a soundcloud profile and together combined he has like 1.5k listeners... a rising star if you ask me! definitely has mixtapes ~published in both kor and jpn, even tries making samples for games... he really believes he can make it if anyone just gives him a chance (maybe he shouldve gone the auditioning route instead lol!) don't really have a style reference but he's talented in both flow of lyrics and music production itself

tiny shirts and baggy jeans are a staple of his wardrobe. like you won't ever see him in skinny jeans ever and if you do it's because he lost a really bad bet.. tries with his appearance because he wants to look and present himself nice; in a way, the children (yuji) yearn for the mines (harajuku). speaking of, baggy jeans went platinum in his head, alongside everything that kard has put out

aside the fact he's literally a #soundcloud_rapper and a #short_king another red flag about him is that cannot commit to a relationship for his life. or like, he can and y'all can be exclusive and going on dates and genuinely being a full on couple, but the moment the word boyfriend is uttered he kinda gets cold feet. there's an explanation for this but the onion hasn't been peeled deep enough x

however like i said he's an overall friendly individual, so he tries to stay friends with his exes :+)

currently living at the artists' share-house and... the spooky aspect of it doesn't really bother him? like yeah it's spooky but also maybe we are all just forgetful and that's the cause of everything and it's all just overreacting and ghosts aren't real. he's the girl who's going to be okay. also his side of the share-house room just might be the scariest thing ever cause it's so unbelievably messy

certified lover of cats will feed stray cats will buy literally everything if it has cats on it or it's cat shaped/themed... even if he realistically does not need it at all

as far as plots go, with the way his personality is i can see just about anything working out between our characters :) obviously fellow share-house residents and shenanigans that keep them scared of going to sleep or the typical 'who took this food container that obviously has my name label on it' misshap / connections made through the club itself like maybe yuji bothers your character to be taste tester for the cocktails he made up on the spot / usual club partners ordeal / (that tiktok audio) someone keeps bothering and bothering and bothering your chara so he steps away from the bar like jazz hands omg hi bestie we need to catch up / musical friends and collabs... or more antagonistic and someone who rips his demo for themselves... or even a h8r who thinks his attempt at music are corny... i dont really have a specific uni name in mind for him either but uni friends can happen too, maybe our charas gave each other some tutoring classes? thrift buddies... literally anything goes and idm filling in your wcs either 🫶🏻

#jongno:hello #yapped a lot but said so little... regardless will be messaging slowly for plots 🫶🏻🫶🏻

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