#if it sucked shit I... okay well admittedly I'm not the kind of person who could actually say 'I HATED that thing you love!!' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

compacflt · 1 year

Note

Do you have any nonfiction that you would recommend if someone was interested in the US Navy/military?

im probably not the right person to ask this bc most of my military knowledge hyperfixation is centered on the ARMY in the American Revolutionary War & World War II. It’s only pretty recently that i got into modern warfare as a topic, so let me just give some indiscriminate recs

Can’t go wrong with David McCullough‘s 1776, which is a great overview of the first year of the revolutionary war + the extremely fraught politics of trying to start a new nation’s military—really illustrates where a bunch of lingering schools of thought in our military originated from.

Another David McCullough shout-out: his The Wright Brothers is an excellent book about the origins of flight, AND it was the book right next to the picture of Ice and Maverick shaking hands on Ice’s bookshelf in TGM. So we know ice has read that one. I think you can’t go wrong at all with any David McCullough. I own like 5-6 of his books and he hasn’t missed once. (His best is John Adams but that’s not mil related)

Ron chernows biography of Washington goes into his military background (7 years' war) a whole bunch, and kind of elucidates how truly fortunate we were to have our nation’s first leader be a military man who really kinda didn’t want to be there. Some really good takes on leadership. Just beware that chernow does have a reputation in the history community for just makin shit up sometimes. If it sounds too cute/quaint to be true, it really might be.

u may be tempted: DO NOT read Brian kilmeade's Thomas Jefferson & the Tripoli Pirates, one of the few navy NF books I've read. I read it b4 I even knew who kilmeade was--didn't matter. it fucking sucks. he uses like 7 sources in the whole book.

Stephen E. Ambrose's Citizen Soldiers is a great WWII NF book about that generation of infantrymen.

The one big Navy NF book I've read recently is (not to brag but my personally signed copy of) Craig symonds' new biography of admiral Chester Nimitz, who was COMPACFLT during WWII's war in the pacific. I got a SHIT ton of professional characterization for Ice from Nimitz' life and this book--Nimitz also worked 18 hour days, was also separated from the love of his life for long periods of time in Hawaii, was also probably acutely depressed, etc.

okay: THOMAS E. RICKS. The Generals is SUCH a good book. Army leadership from WWII up through Iraq and Afghanistan. Focusing on how the Army used to relieve (fire) commissioned officers who couldn't hack it, and that's a huge part of why we won WWII, but somewhere between WWII and Korea, being fired started being super shameful (macarthur's fault if I'm reading it correctly) so mediocre officers didn't get fired and that's why the army has suffered shit leadership in every war since WWII. It's a HUGE thesis that he backs up so well. Would so recommend. I'm also currently reading his FIASCO about the fuck-up of Iraq. Also incredible so far.

Michael O'Hanlon's Military History for the Modern Strategist-- a post Civil War survey of military strategy on the campaign/operational level. Might be a good introduction to US military history, just giving a pretty broad overview of post-CW warfare, so that way you don't pick up a random book about the Korean War and go "wait what was the Chosin campaign again?" Interestingly written and I got to meet him and he wrote "wishing you the best" in my book after I told him I wanted to steal his job at Brookings someday, so admittedly I'm biased.

Lawrence Wright's The Terror Years: From Al-Qaeda to the Islamic State is not strictly military related, but it is one of the best-written and most illuminating nonfiction books I've ever read and I cannot recommend it enough.

For war fiction, my taste is v mainstream: Pat Barker's Regeneration trilogy, Tim O'Brien's Going After Cacciato (imo better than the things they carried), Ahmed Saadawi's Frankenstein in Baghdad, Kevin Powers' The Yellow Birds, Cannot Miss Erich Maria Remarque's All Quiet on the Western Front if you haven't read it, Hassan Blasim's The Corpse Exhibition: And Other Stories of Iraq... For specifically Naval lit: Run Silent, Run Deep is a pretty good classic, and this summer I read the 600-page behemoth The Caine Mutiny, which is about specifically WWII-era naval law... it's a brick. But it won a pulitzer and it's...passable. Kind of interesting at least.

#really can't recommend Lawrence wright Thomas ricks or David McCullough enough. just really well written stuff #otherwise I just read mil/defense news and google everything I don't know #pat barker >>>> regeneration isn't like... gay... but it is definitely gay. I think 2/3 books of the trilogy start out with soldiers fuckin #not top gun #military history #general aviation #book rec #i have no real life marketable skills but i do read a lot 👍

39 notes · View notes

akane171 · 2 years

Text

Nooooo😰😰🙈 I didn't and wouldn't 😰🙈 Honestly, kinda thought I might have finally annoyed you enough or you're just busy🤷🏻‍♀️🙈 Sorry🙈 I really didn't think the Tumblr Secretary would start erasing messages to you, too🙈🙈

Haha, yes, very smart of you😊🙈

Only one sushi restaurant?😯 Huh, amazing... Tho admittedly, I haven't eaten it either (yet?)😅😂

😂😂😂 Understandably😂😂

...Possessed? I just wanted to become FRIENDS with demons...😶🙈 But ohh, the more I think about it, the cooler getting possessed and being able to just take a backseat from life is starting to sound 😉😉😂😂

😂😂 "dumb fucks" 😂😂😂

...I doubt it, but okay... Tho I can't shut my cake if I don't have any cake?🤔😉😂😂😂

😂😂 Ohh, this reminds me of a clip from a concert where Brendon Urie "introduced" a song by explaining how his Mom likes it when he curses and proceeds to swear "like fuck and shit and ass and bitch and dick and balls and goddammit" perfectly in rhythm😂😂😂

Awww, they go to a restaurant?😍😍☺ Okay, Yeah, I'm definitely reading those when I have some real time to read again😍🙈😂

Well, I guess he really WAS A replacement for Winn and Mon... And they did kinda jam Winn's brilliance with Mon's space-puppy alien-ness into one in Brainy's character from the little bit I've seen of Post S3😅🙈 And yup, last scene sucked...🙄

Maybe they really just didn't like Kara as a character...😖😫

Haha, yess, and just imagine all the other lines they could use!😍 Oh, btw, I remembered the original bad chemistry pick-up line I came up with, it went like this: "Are you a catalyst? Cause you certainly always get me started" 😂😂🤣🤣 Oh, or imagine this: "Are you an exothermic reaction? Cause you are hot"🤣🤣🤣 Oh, oh, or back to an English Literature pick-up line: "Are you my zero focalizer? Cause I feel like you know me inside out, more so than even I myself do"😅🤣🤣🤦🏻‍♀️ And ohhh, their students shipping and trying to set them up would be GOLDEN!😍😍😍😍

yup, they could definitely learn a Lot from each other🤔 And HAHAHAHA, sounds accurate, esp. since Max is probably absolutely doing it on purpose cause he doesn't like Kara and no way in hell does he want his baby brother fraternizing with her😉😉🤣🤣 But hey, Karamel can hope Sam ships them and keeps Max away so they can spend time together🤔🤔 Oh god, Max and Cat? That's quite terrifying and amusing, not sure if that pair would be a good idea tho if they don't want the Multiverse to end😅 Ohhhh, Max and Cat fighting over Mon and Kara would be GOLDEN😂😂😂 Just imagine the arguments about 😂😂😂 Poor Sam&Eve who will have to deal with THAT chaos tho😅🙈

Samesies☺🙈 Sorr, again about the confusion😰🙈🙈🙈

PS: 🤣🤣🤣 Why do I feel like she might murder me for telling you about this?🤣🤣😅🙈🙈

PS2: Oh, you mean the ones from the Musical? If you mean those, then yess, I did😍😍😍😁😁🤗 (Thanks to you actually🤣🤣😉) At first I thought that style looked kinda weird, but the more I see it, the better it looks on him🤔😂 (Tho short haired him with a little bit longer stubble still is his best look IMO🤔🙈🤷🏻‍♀️)

XXX

Oh cool, so we are both in the "I'm afraid I annoyed that person too much and she/he has enough of me" xD

Also, you suck Tumblr Secretary!!!

Girl, I live in a 12k people town, the fact have one good sushi restaurant is like a miracle. No Chinese restaruants, btw.

But I kind of miss my friends, some classes and almost no responsibilities xD

...now you sound like Stephen King and I'm starting to get really worried about your storylines =='

What? Sad facts. And the fact they rule so many societies from the backseat is even sadder

Cake HOLE, HOLE, ok?! I forgot to add it. But you can always BUY some cake and problem solved! Even better, you can shut your mouth on the cake and be forever happy!!!!

lol, I guess his mom was very proud? x'D

DO IT!!!!!

And i guess that annoyed me so much, becasue here we were, once again with the same charatcer just in a different body. The scene when he prepared bed breakfast for Nia and tried to be a perfect boyfriend and i was just rolling my eyes so hard I saw the insides of my skull. And the fact is they totally ignored his comic book canon. I get why they didn't make him LI for Kara and make him and Nia a thing, but the rest? He's an idiot? 12th level genius? Where?

That or they had no idea what to do with her character. Aside of the fact they made her just Kal's clone with longer hair, ignored her whole comic book canon that makes her different and special, they had no plan for her character development. I feel they later just fell in love with their human charatcers they made (aka Alex and Walmart Witch) and deeloped them, while ignoring Kara. The titular hero. UGH

One of the reasons why the humanphilia pissed me soo much in this show :/

I see you liked the idea xD Add Eve as sex ed teacher, Winn as IT, Alex PE and biology?, Nia something with English, Brainiac math, Lobotomizer physics, John history, Lex the principal, Kelly as the school psychologist. Plus, dunno, M'gann, Cat, William, Imra, Sam, Siobbhan, and other bad guys as bad teachers xD Could be a fun fic xD

Or even better, imagine Cat promoting Kara as CatCo's superhero, while Max promotting Mon-El as Valor as his company and both them fighting which is better, while Kara and Mon-Elbeing done with them, and one day just openly, in fromt of cameras making out to make them shut up. LOL

No prob, not your fault!

PS She probably will, sorry! xD

PS2: yes, same. He really digs that look. I think I liked most his Kai-back-from-the-dead look and s3 Mon-El, when he was wearing black Legion uniform. This or that, I'm aroace but I seriously think he is aesthetically very hot and handsome. Lucky Melissa xD

Stay safe!

#ReFail #my fam

0 notes

bellfort3 · 3 years

Note

oh my GOD, the vlogs.

okay, so. the way i see it: Wilbur goes out to shoot vlogs with Tommy, and he's smug. infuriatingly smug. taking selfies with Tommy to send to Dream's DMs type smug. pushing the "we're like brothers" bit to new extremes type smug. and Dream, who has no plans on traveling to the UK - and who also has no plans on face revealing any time soon - can only sit there and fume. people on Twitter say that he must be jealous about how much time the UK crew gets to spend with George, but the thing is, he already HAS George. George already likes him the most. (he doesnt need to prove that to anyone; they already know). meanwhile, Wilbur's winning the Brother Olympics, and it isn't FAIR, because it isn't Dream's fault that he happened to be born in Florida, the pitstain of America.

so he's admittedly a bit salty, alright? but he's also determined, and crafty, and competitive as hell; so, even if he isn't physically there to shoot the vlogs with Tommy, Dream makes sure to be there in spirit, texting Tommy memes that he thinks the kid will find funny, telling stories about the stupid shit Sapnap has done around the apartment, sending sound clips from songs that he's thinking about releasing in the future. just. generally making himself as vocal as possible whilst simultaneously giving Tommy the time and space to film his content. (it's a fine line to walk, but Dream walks it well. and if Wilbur catches Tommy smiling at something Dream sent him and ends up creating new, elaborate bits to pull Tommy's attention back to himself, then that's just more footage for Tommy to use. win-win for all.)

then, a few months into the Vlog Era, Sapnap - bless that man - points out the obvious: if Dream can't go to Tommy, then why not have Tommy come to Dream? after all, Tommy wants to go to vidcon, right? he'll already be in America, so Sapnap figures that catching a flight over to Florida should be a breeze. Tommy can shoot another homestyle vlog, Dream can wear his mask, and any distingushing characteristics can be edited out in post. its the perfect plan.

Dream, excited, starts plotting out the logistics at once. he looks at airfare from LA to Orlando on October 24. he looks into hotels in the area, should Tommy be uncomfortable crashing at Dreams home after meeting him in person for the first time. he texts Wilbur in his haste; "I'm going to fly Tommy to Florida, and I'm going to hug him for 45 minutes straight. Checkmate, loser."

Wilbur responds immediately: "I'm going to hug him for 46 minutes, then I'm going to take him to Disney World, where we'll get matching mouse ears. Suck it, Green Boy."

(and the feud continues).

- VC Anon

Wait THIS IS AMAZING. I felt like I was reading a fic when I was reading this!! Do you have anymore? How else would the feud continue? I’m thinking like, when they come to America and are just chilling at dreams house…what kind of antics do dream and wilbur get up to now that they are all in person?

#I love this am #VC anon and bellfort #bellfort answers #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #dream #mcyt #dreamsmp

76 notes · View notes

iamwestiec · 3 years

Text

June 17: Chengxian 💜🖤💕

childhood friends to lovers/QPPs, ace Jiang Cheng, bi & aro Wei Wuxian, modern AU

(A/N: If you're wondering about a certain other someone, he will have a wonderful, full life of his own in Suzhou in this AU but is not in this story. 💙 There are some brief mentions of offscreen ace-antagonism, not by anyone we know.)

Read on ao3

Jiang Cheng had been Wei Ying's best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

Okay. Well, not quite his entire life, but certainly since Wei Ying’s parents moved to California when he was little little, which was about as far back as Wei Ying could remember anyway. Wei Ying’s baba and Jiang Cheng’s baba had grown up in Wuhan together and been best friends when they were kids, so naturally, when Wei Ying’s family moved into the same neighborhood as the Jiangs, it made perfect sense for Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng to become best friends too.

It was Jiang Cheng who had taught Wei Ying that he didn't have to be afraid of dogs, by introducing him to Princess, Jasmine, and Lil' Love. Lil' Love lived up to her name, coming and quietly sitting in all her fluffy glory on Wei Ying’s lap every time he went over to play.

It was also Jiang Cheng who Wei Ying got drunk with for the first time. They snuck booze from the cabinet where Wei Ying’s parents kept it and laughed at the faces each other made with every shot until they stopped tasting the harsh burn, and then laughing more just because.

(Wei Ying’s mom had not laughed, not at the time, when the two teens had been sick as anything the next morning, but instead made them a gloriously greasy late breakfast and gave them lots of advice about proper hydration.

Then she told Jiang Cheng’s mom and let her scold them.)

It was Jiang Cheng who came out first, their first semester in college, when he told Wei Ying he didn't think he wanted to have sex with anyone, ever, and asked if Wei Ying thought that meant no one would ever want to date him. Wei Ying hugged him tight and told him he didn't know about everyone out there, but he knew Jiang Cheng was the best guy in the world and would be an awesome boyfriend, and he'd fight anyone who said differently.

Jiang Cheng found a group on campus for third culture LBGT kids, and Wei Ying went with him, as a supportive ally.

Which was how Wei Ying figured out that he was not just a supportive ally.

In listening to the others talk about orientation and identity and attraction and cultural expectations, Wei Ying realized that what he'd always assumed was normal—finding all kinds of people physically attractive, regardless of their gender—was actually his bisexuality. So that was kind of cool.

"So yeah, now we can be queer together!" Wei Ying said, when he excitedly shared his newfound realization with Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng snorted. "Yeah, 'all' and 'nothing,'" he joked.

It was Jiang Cheng who'd helped him practice what to say to his parents when he wanted to change his major at the end of sophomore year, and Jiang Cheng who reminded him to eat and sleep and "take a fucking break, Wei Ying," those next couple semesters when he took way too many hours so he wouldn't have to rack up a whole extra year's worth of student loans to finish his new degree plan.

It was Jiang Cheng who graduated first, on a gorgeous blue-skyed sunny day in May, and Jiang Cheng who suggested Wei Ying keep living with him at his new apartment, so he wouldn't have to try to find a one-semester lease until he finished in December.

(They renewed the lease together every time.)

Jiang Cheng ribbed him playfully each time Wei Ying met someone new, but he was always there each times things fizzled out after a few months for reasons that never quite made sense to Wei Ying.

Jiang Cheng occasionally dated too, and Wei Ying was glad he never did have to fight anybody—though he did drive Jiang Cheng to the emergency room the time he came home with split knuckles from punching a guy who, "seemed to think I didn't know my own mind about certain things."

But dating sucked for everybody, right? It wasn't like Wei Ying or Jiang Cheng were in any hurry to settle down and do the whole spouse and kids thing or whatever. Wei Ying tried to imagine it and just... couldn't, though the image of Jiang Cheng with a baby was admittedly pretty cute.

It was not Jiang Cheng, but Jiang Yanli, a few months after she proposed to her girlfriend and they started planning their wedding, who Wei Ying finally asked, "Yanli-jie, how does a person decide someone else is their person?"

Jiang Yanli looked across the room to where Jiang Cheng was showing her soon-to-be-wife how to put side spin on a billiards ball and smiled. "I think you just know," she said. "You meet someone and you get to know them, spend time together, then one day you realize you love them and want to build the rest of your life with them."

Wei Ying wrinkled his nose. "I dunno if it works that way for me. Just some random person? I've never met anyone I can imagine wanting to live with all the time. Well, besides—huh..." he cut off suddenly and darted a look over at Jiang Yanli, who just calmly sipped her drink.

"Have you ever told him that?" she asked, after a moment where Wei Ying reassessed his entire life and dating history. "I think he might appreciate hearing it."

"I... huh. Yanli-jie, you're kinda blowing my mind here," he complained.

"I gathered," she said wryly, before fixing him with a smile that made all the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Of course, I trust," she told him, "that I do not need to explain to you of all people how very dearly I hold my didi's happiness and well-being."

He swallowed and raised three fingers in the salute he'd used ever since the summer that—hah—he and Jiang Cheng had decided as kids that they would make their own oath of brotherhood like the heroes of their favorite show. "I, Wei Ying, swear to you that I would kick my own ass before I did anything to hurt him."

Jiang Yanli leaned over to knock her shoulder against his and nodded. "That's what I thought."

Turned out, dating Jiang Cheng didn't suck at all.

It felt easy in a way Wei Ying’s past dates never had, less like trying to keep up with a game whose rules everybody knew except him, more like... well, like spending time with his best friend in the whole world, but on purpose. There was also a tension in the back of Wei Ying’s mind that seemed to have lifted, though he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was that had gone.

It was Jiang Cheng who helped him figure it out.

"I think it's that now I'm able to count on this. On us," he said, when Wei Ying brought it up. "Before, whenever you went out with someone new, I wondered if this would be the time you'd find someone to fall in love with and leave me behind."

"Aww, Chengcheng! I would never!"

Jiang Cheng huffed and rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were pink. "Well, I know that now," he said, a pleased little smile breaking through his attempts at a scowl.

"As long as you're sure—" Wei Ying began, still getting used to thinking about himself with the word "aromantic." Still a so very sure that Jiang Cheng deserved to be fallen in love with.

"Hey!" Jiang Cheng cut him off. "None of that. I know you. And I know you don't see it this way, but I personally think it's pretty damn romantic that you choose to love me, on purpose."

"I simply have exquisite taste in life partners," Wei Ying sniffed, embarassed the way he always got when Jiang Cheng declared something he'd done "romantic."

"You do," Jiang Cheng agreed. "Someone told me a long time ago I was the best guy in the world and would make an awesome boyfriend, and that he would fight anyone who said differently."

Wei Ying laughed. "That's you and your sister I've promised to kick my own ass if I ever break your heart, then. Guess I'll just have to keep you forever."

"Damn right, you will," Jiang Cheng agreed, grinning smug and happy and breathtakingly beautiful. Wei Ying leaned across the couch to give him a sweet, closed-mouth kiss—the kind Jiang Cheng had shyly admitted he actually did like, a lot—and smiled too, at how lucky he'd gotten to be with his best friend in the whole world for his entire life.

🖤💜

Today's (extremely long!) thread was inspired by this WONDERFUL art of ace Jiang Cheng and bi & aro Wei Ying! Go give Midori some love on Twitter!

I spent a nonzero amount of time googling to double check when various terms and flags came into vogue, so if you're wondering, WWX & JC were in college in the early 2000s, before the ace and aro flags were designed. By the time they get themselves figured out, they can get their cute wristbands.

...which, yes, means these dingdongs spent about a solid decade living together before realizing that was what they wanted to do forever. 😉

This also means Jiang Yanli and her unnamed wife here are getting married between when California started recognizing same-sex marriages in 2008 and the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling in 2015! THIS SHIT'S RECENT!!!

Happy Pride, thank you for reading, check out more LGBTQIA+ sweetness on my #PrideMonthSnippets Masterpost!

#PrideMonthSnippets #chengxian #westie writes #mdzs #the untamed #asexual pride #aromantic pride #asexual jiang cheng #bisexual wei wuxian #aromantic wei wuxian #queerplatonic relationship #queer relationships #love has a lot of shapes

72 notes · View notes

angellesword · 3 years

Text

SAVE ME | KTH (13)

Summary: You were determined to kill yourself, but what would happen when instead of ending your life, you ended up summoning the devil of death?

Alternatively:

The Devil: I’m here to ruin you, I’m here to save you.

Genre: Demon au, e2l, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Devil!Taehyung x Doctor!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: none except mention of stabbing and oh! tae being an ass 😗

SERIES: CHAPTER 12 | CHAPTER 14

Ji-hyo couldn't remember the last time she saw you looking like death was hot on your trail.

"Seriously?" Your best friend furrowed a brow, a mocking smile was plastered on her lips. "You looked like shit. What has gotten into you?"

Gone were the days when she was acting like you were a fragile thing. Ji-hyo only sympathized with you when you were still mourning Areum's death while dealing with some family issues.

These two things were old news now.

Ji-hyo knew you had healed from it, meaning she could finally say what she wanted without tiptoeing around you. Saying things like 'you look like shit' wouldn't offend you since she knew that whatever's bothering you at this very moment didn't involve Areum or your family.

Ji-hyo was right because your problem was all about "Taehyung," you admitted the truth, sighing loudly.

Your best friend sniffled a laugh—it was like she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"You're still pining over your ex?" She puffed, looking at you in disbelief. "But why? It's been fourteen days since you two broke up!"

You couldn't help the blush staining your cheeks because of what Ji-hyo said. The latter knew you for many years now.

You never once pined over a guy. You dated a lot of men before, especially during college days. None of them managed to hurt you. It was always you who broke their hearts.

Ji-hyo even thought that you were also the one who ended things with Taehyung. She guessed it was her fault. She didn't ask you about what happened. She simply assumed that you were no longer seeing the devil since the latter didn't visit the hospital anymore.

You talked about almost everything with Ji-hyo, except your love life. You were never serious with this kind of thing anyway.

"Oh, God," Ji-hyo's mouth parted in shock when she realized something. "Don't tell me you're in love with Kim Taehyung?"

She was acting as though it was impossible for you to fall in love. Admittedly, you couldn't fault her. You thought the same way too. You never expected to have strong romantic feelings for anyone, especially for someone like Taehyung.

Yes, that's right. The fourteen days you spent away from the devil was enough for you to realize that you liked him.

It turned out that you weren't immune to his charms. At first you thought you were just attracted to his pretty face, but then the months you spent with him felt surreal. You never experienced this feeling before.

You appreciated that he helped you with Jeongguk as well as with your father. It's not like you didn't feel guilty anymore because surprise, surprise: you still did. But you felt more at peace now.

Taehyung took care of you too. He pulled you from the hole you dug for yourself. Granted that it was for his own sake, but as said, humans were vulnerable.

You were exactly like other people. You couldn't deny that he was making you feel special.

"Is that such a bad thing?" You asked, biting your bottom lip.

Ji-hyo mirrored your expression.

"I don't know...does he feel the same way?"

That was the thing. You didn't know if Taehyung liked you the way you liked him.

"I don't really believe in unconditional love bullshit. I don't think it's okay to invest your time and energy if the other person can't love you back," Ji-hyo shrugged her shoulders.

She didn't want to complicate her life. There were people who were willing to love her, so why stick with someone who was making her feel like she wasn't worth it?

"I-I don't know if he has feelings for me..." your response was barely audible, making Ji-hyo's brow shot up.

"Then find out. Stop running away from your problems. You're the one who's making your life difficult. People aren't mind readers. You can't expect them to know how you feel if you aren't telling them in the first place."

Of course you knew that. You wanted to talk to Taehyung, you just didn't know how to start. It hurt you when he implied that the kiss you two shared wasn't a big deal. But like what Ji-hyo had said, you wouldn't know what others felt if you kept running away.

"So what are you waiting for?" The anesthesiologist enquired when you told her that you were willing to clear things out with the devil.

Ji-hyo also told you that there was no point in delaying things. You were just prolonging the agony you felt.

"Fine. I'll go now," you were free today as a result of working hard the past several weeks. You only went to the hospital today since you didn't have the courage to face Taehyung.

Ji-hyo didn't hold you back any longer, and so you left Cornelia Hospital. You decided to stop by at Taehyung's favorite dumpling store before heading back home.

He was always in a better mood whenever there were dumplings on his plate.

There were many customers at the mentioned restaurant so you figured that it was best to roam around the marketplace while you waited for your order.

This quarter was just meters away from your apartment building, yet this was the first time you went here. This was because you always had your food delivered at your place. Besides, Itaewon was your go-to place whenever you wanted to eat out.

You regretted not visiting this place sooner. Everything you needed was literally here. There was even a flower shop right across the dumpling store. The former place suited your style that was why you chose to check it out; however, you stopped walking when you saw Taehyung inside the store.

You squinted to make sure that your eyes weren't failing you.

It wasn't.

The devil was really inside the flower shop. It's understandable. Taehyung liked to visit places as aesthetically pleasing as this one, but what you didn't understand was this: why was he handing a knife to a younger girl?

Why...did it look like he was planning something evil?

You crossed the street to confirm your suspicion.

Your suspicion turned into reality.

Taehyung was definitely planning something evil. It was obvious that he coerced the little girl to stab the flower owner, luckily you were fast—as in fast enough to snatch the weapon away from the little girl.

You didn't know if you could forgive Taehyung if his vile plan succeeded.

It wasn't a simple hunch anymore. He seriously confirmed what you thought he was planning to do.

The sad thing about it was that he didn't even show remorse.

"T-This is not what you think it looks like!" Naturally, he would lie to you at first, and so you did exactly the opposite of what he believed you would do.

"Really?" You stopped walking, facing him.

You immediately walked away the second you managed to snatch the weapon. You didn't know how to explain things to the shop owner anyway. Besides, you were certain that Taehyung was going to follow you.

That's exactly what you wanted. You needed him to run after you because you didn't know what evil was circling inside his head. He might still harm the shop owner and the daughter if he stayed one more minute with them.

"So you're saying that I'm wrong? That you didn't just tempt a kid to stab her mother?" You were clenching your jaw, your tears were threatening to fall too.

You were so mad and so hurt. He hadn't changed at all. He was still a selfish bastard who only cared about himself.

"I'm not denying that," his tone was harsh, like he was challenging you too. "All I'm saying is that you're looking at it all wrong."

You huffed. So he was still denying it?

"You know what? I'm done." You turned away from him, continuing to walk. "I don't want to listen to you anymore. You're a reaper and a liar—"

"You can call me anything you want." You were surprised when he abruptly pulled your arm, spinning you around. The force was too strong that your face hit his chest.

"Let go of me—!" You wriggled in his arms but he only pushed you up against the concrete wall, caging you.

You two were at a narrow alley, so close to your home.

"—but I am not lying." He continued, ignoring your desperate attempt to run away from him.

"You can't fool me!" You tried pushing his chest.

He didn't budge.

"I'm just doing whatever I can do to survive!" He placed his hands on the wall, moving even closer to you.

His golden eyes sparkled, horns showing.

You gulped as you nervously looked around. You weren't scared of him. You had seen him like this before. The only reason why your heart was beating erratically was because you were afraid someone would see him looking like this.

"You have me to save you," he licked his lower lip, struggling to meet your eyes.

He couldn't.

You were avoiding his smoldering gaze.

"Jeongguk has Jimin..." His voice was becoming softer, barely audible.

You felt your heart clench.

"And I got no one but myself,"

You finally looked at him in the eyes.

It was a wrong move.

The emotions you had bottled up for the past weeks exploded...

You broke.

And then you turned into ashes.

"I'm not like the rest of you. I wasn't abused. I wasn't taken for granted. I wasn't hurt..."

There was silence. You were just looking at him, silently observing and listening.

"I am the one doing all these things. I abuse people, I take them for granted, and I hurt them."

He sucked in a breath.

"I don't have any excuse just like you do."

He was implying that it was unfair. People like you got away with the pain you caused to other people by simply arguing that you were not in the right mind, or that you experienced traumatic memories before.

People could even argue in court that they were battling some sort of mental illness that was why they hurt people. So instead of getting punished in jail, they would simply be transferred to a competent facility to get the help they 'deserved.'

Taehyung called it bullshit.

"—Because apparently, saving myself isn't good enough to be an excuse." Bullshit since he wasn't treated like this. He couldn't even do good things even if he wanted to.

He couldn't do bad things as it would cause you to hate him too.

"So tell me," your breathing hitched when you felt his hot breath on your left cheek.

He was standing too close.

"What do you think does this look like now?"

You couldn't answer his question so you just proceeded to also ask him a question, something that he would find hard to answer.

"Why?" Your lips trembled. "Is the kiss we shared not enough to satisfy your capital vices?"

As expected, it took him long to respond.

Taehyung only nuzzled your cheek, eyes tightly shut as he felt how good it was to be this close to you.

"No," but he moved away from you, eyes finally opened.

Your ashes were blown by the wind.

"It's not enough..."

a/n: i know, i know the characters are annoying af 😔 two chapters left so dw! everything will be ok next chap. i promise! (?)

### i appreciate feedback ♥️

##### this is super unedited. im so sorry. im only using my phone.

#ficswithluv #taehyung angst #taehyung fantasy au #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung x you #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x reader #taehyung x oc #devil taehyung #demon taehyung #taehyung devil au #taehyung demon au #taehyung roommate #taehyung roommate au #taehyung fanfic #taehyung enemies to lovers #taehyung e2l

102 notes · View notes

goldenmaybank · 4 years

Text

no strings ~ scout’s writing challenge

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: jj and y/n have had a no strings attached agreement for years, but that statement couldn’t be farther from the truth.

warnings: swearing, cheating, implied sex, and slight fluff

word count: 2.2k

this is my entry for @ptersparkers writing challenge! hope you all enjoy :)

no strings attached. that was the agreement we made back in freshman year. it's now junior year and that agreement still stands. no feelings involved, just pure fun, but how do you not fall for his big blue eyes and bright smile. it was only meant to be for one night, but one night soon turned into two then three and now i've lost count how many nights we've spent together. almost every night for this past year he’s slept in my bed under my silk sheets with our bodies intertwined with one another. i constantly convince myself it's nothing more than having fun but every time i hear his name i get butterflies and whenever he's near me my heart starts to beat a million times faster. i try to convince myself it's not love, but after being with someone in that way for three years it's impossible for it not to turn into that. but clearly it's possible for him at least. that's why i don't say anything and continue to hide my true feelings because i know he doesn't feel the same way as me and probably never will. i stay up every night with him on my mind and thoughts of what we could be consumes my every thought.

freshman year was the hardest of them all mainly because jj had a girlfriend at the time. i know what i did was wrong but the taste of his lips and the way he touched me that first night was so captivating. i knew from that moment i would never be able to let him go. i tried not to get sucked into him and his player ways, but soon the second night happened and from then it was history. we would meet every thursday night at my place at midnight. he was never late and it made me wonder if he craved my touch as bad as i craved his. we would walk past each other in the streets like we barely knew each other when in reality he knew every curve and mark on my body.

sophomore year was easier than the last since he no longer was with his girlfriend, but also harder because that's when i started catching feelings for him. now since he was single, we could actually be seen together, but still had to be cautious since i was a kook. i never understood the rivalry between the kooks and pogues, but i knew if any of the kooks found out i was with jj all hell would break loose. me and sarah were known as the kook princesses, and since she was dating topper, everyone expected me to date a kook too. before i met jj, i went on a few dates with rafe since thats who my parents wanted me to be with, but after realizing all kook guys are self absorbed assholes, i knew i could never be with any of them. the only kook i can tolerate is sarah, and at times she can even be blinded by the things topper tells her. a couple months into freshman year, i already started to get suffocated at the kook academy and went to the beach to escape, which is where i met kie. the moment i met her we instantly clicked and she invited me to the kegger that they were having that night. thats when i met the rest of the pogues, including jj. we spent the whole night attached at the hip drinking and laughing together. soon enough the guest room at the cheateu was filled with nothing but the sound of our moans. that was the first of many nights we spent there together.

almost every single day i would meet jj by the beach to spend time with him. whether we were surfing, hanging out on the hms pogue with the others, or eating at the wreck, i just loved being around him. although we weren't together people acted like we were. kie would always say we were unofficially official. soon enough our every thursday night meet-ups became every thursday and friday meet-ups and eventually every night meet-ups. we spent every night together at my place until my parents found out and we needed a new place, so we started hanging out at the chateau.

junior year has been the best one so far. jj and i hung out more in public not caring what anyone else would think and gone on what he calls "non-dates" even though it's exactly what dates are. he's met my younger sister and she absolutely adores him, which now makes me wish we never got our families involved in this since i know he doesn't reciprocate my feelings. i've spent so much time with him that i feel almost empty not being in his arms at night. he knows everything about me and i know everything about him. we've shared all of our secrets and deepest thoughts with each other. i've seen his vulnerable side so much that it's almost impossible for me not to fall in love with him. he's opened up to me and let me in more than anyone else in his life even his best friends. every night is something new with him and i never want it to stop even though i know inevitably it will.

"you remember the second night you stayed at my place and you got scared of my dog" i said laughing as we laid next to each other on my bed talking about our favorite memories together.

"look in my defense, your dog is huge and she woke me up out of my sleep." jj said chuckling slightly.

"she was just being friendly and you wouldn't stop screaming. almost woke up my damn parents."

"don't act like you haven't almost woken up john b before with your clumsy ass. you almost knocked over his whole desk trying to get into the room."

"i'm sorry i'm not an expert at climbing through windows like you."

"well when you've had a lot of practice you know how to." he said cockily.

"oh shut up." he laughed as i tiredly punched his arm, "you know damn well i was the first window you came through." i said sassily.

"you're right. you were."

"wait really? so jj maybank has never snuck into another girl's house before? i'm surprised."

"why?" he asked as he turns his body towards me and moves me so i face him.

"i don't know i guess with your reputation i thought you would've been with a bunch of girls before me."

"you wanna know the truth? you're the first girl i've ever slept with."

"wait what?" i sat up against the headboard looking at him confusingly, "what about your ex or all those tourons you would flirt with?"

"all we would do is flirt and make out a little, but it never went any further. either i was always drunk or they were and i never wanted that to be my first time, you know? and with my ex we were only fourteen and dated for a few months. i told you before i never really felt anything for her. it was all just so i could know what it felt like to be a boyfriend.”

“but we were only fourteen, when we..”

“i know, but it was different with you. you are different.”

"so, that means you were a virgin when we first-"

"yup." he said admittedly.

"wow. well i couldn't tell." i joked.

jj looked at me and chuckled slightly, but i could tell something was off with him. his eyes didn't have the same brightness as usual.

"what's wrong?"

"what do you mean? nothings wrong."

"jj, you can't lie to me. i've known you for way too long and i know when somethings wrong, so what's up."

"i don't know. i-" he sighs deeply as he looks at up at me, "it's just- is that what you think of me? that i'm just some player who fucks any girl that throws herself at me."

"what? no. of course not. i just assumed-"

"because that's not who i ever wanted to be." he said cutting me off, "i never wanted to be like- like my dad, you know?” he says as he looks down at his hands, fiddling with them, “as much as he claims he loved her, he treated my mom like shit. he would get drunk and mess around with a bunch of women because he could never commit. i never wanted to be like that. i never wanted to make a girl feel the way my mom felt. she was so heartbroken when he would come back home smelling of perfume and lie to her face. eventually, she had enough of it and just got up and left. kinda wish she took me with her. but i told myself i would never be like that and then i realized i was. back in freshman year when i cheated on my ex-"

"with me" i looked at him sympathetically understanding why what i said bothered him so much, "look, j you're nothing like your dad. i know i've never met him but from what you told me about him you two are completely different people. you’re nothing like that cheating, abusive asshole, okay? you're such a sweet, kindhearted person who always puts others before yourself, especially when it comes to your friends. i've never seen someone care so much about others than you. you have such a pure, kind soul and nothing will ever change that. i know you cheated on her with me and it probably wasn't the right choice, but it sure as hell wasn't a mistake and i won't call it that. being with you was never a mistake for me and i hope you feel the same about it but this" i say as i motion between us, "will never be something that i regret. i know i've said this before but i believe that this was meant to be and we were meant to find each other. the circumstance might not have been the best, but i found you and that's all that matters. you're nothing like him and never will be."

we both laid in silence looking up at the ceiling while raindrops hit the window softly. i started to wonder if maybe i said something wrong or said too much. i feel so deeply for him and whenever he tries to put himself down it breaks my heart. in my eyes he's the perfect guy despite all his faults. sometimes i think one day i'll tell him how i feel and scare him off which is the last thing i want to do. i want to be able to have these moments with him for as long as i can.

"you know, i want to get married before i have kids." jj said breaking the silence.

"that's random, but alright." i said giggling.

"i was just thinking about my parents and they had me before they even thought of marriage. i think that's where they could've went wrong. maybe if they would've taken the time to actually bound their love together before having a kid, they could've lasted longer. after they had me he could never commit fully because of all the responsibility, so maybe if they already took that step to "finalize" their love he would've stayed." he said shrugging.

"well i always wanted to have kids before i get married because i want my kids to be apart of my wedding."

"i guess we could just have two weddings then."

"huh?" i said confusingly finally looking at him.

he looks back at me and sighs, "yeah, i mean since you want one before and i want one after, we can just have two. we have the real one before and then we can renew our vows and have a second wedding with our kids so they can experience it with us."

"so, we're gonna get married and have kids?" i said smirking at him.

"i-i mean i guess. obviously only if you want to." jj said blushing as he started to look anywhere but at me.

i grab his face so he's looking at me, "i would love to, jj."

we both smile at each other as he pulls me closer to him connecting our lips. when we pull apart, i cuddle up into his chest as we continue to lie in silence. i feel my heart flutter as i feel his hands rub my back soothing me. being in his arms felt like home and i only hope he feels the same. as i start to think about how it would be if we were actually dating, the same words he would always say when we started this repeat in my mind "this is only for fun. no strings attached. no feelings. just pure fun." maybe that's all this will truly ever be, just fun, and that's the thought i have before falling asleep in his arms.

when i know she's asleep, i just stay awake and admire how she looks in the moment. even sleeping she has a slight smile on her face, which makes me wonder what she's dreaming about. sometimes i wish it was me she's dreaming about even though i know it's not. "just for fun" i remind myself of the words i said but that couldn't have been more of a lie, especially now more than ever. of course what we had was fun, but it was way more than that.

"i love you" i say as i kiss her forehead and wrap my arms tighter around her soon falling asleep as well.

259 notes · View notes

feisties · 4 years

Text

game recognize game

pairing: ben gross x devi vishwakumar prompt: canon compliant, high school word count: 1,037 notes: inspired by #3 from this, written for anonymous. (it’s not exactly what the prompt says but! i tried!)

Devi's never been a huge fan of the pacer.

She prefers other methods of excellence, is the thing. She could do without the sweat. The too-loud squeak of her sneakers against linoleum. The humid, unrelenting cloud of sweat perpetually hanging just a few feet above the gymnasium, lingering, unwanted, among the basketball hoops and fucking—souring in her nostrils. Curdling. Rotting there.

She prefers her competition without it.

But that doesn't mean she isn’t going to outrun everyone this year.

So she's lacing up her shoes, tongue tucked between her teeth, nodding absently to whatever Eleanor’s saying as she deftly knots a double knot, thinking hard about her stamina. Her endurance. Trying to remember the last time she ran laps, which was admittedly a while ago, but she's pretty sure she's still got it. There's a good chance that she'll be beating her record this year. And probably Ben Gross's too, but that's neither here nor there, isn't it?

When she closes her eyes she can see it: Ben's face, scrunched up in that way he does when he's barely suppressing a frown at her expense, his arms crossed over that chest, pouting like a fucking baby—

"Devi," Eleanor's telling her abruptly, looking quizzical and intrigued, "Ben is having a panic attack? In the bathroom? Maybe you should check on him?”

"Go away, David."

The boy's locker room is absolutely disgusting. Something liquid is dripping down, flashing and glittery before it dribbles into a puddle. And if the scent was bad outside—

"Well, that's no way to greet a friend," Devi says cheerfully.

"You're not my friend."

"Aw. Touching."

Ben 's head is tucked on top of his knees. "Can't you see that I'm trying to have a panic attack right now?"

"Um—"

"Alone?"

Irritation flares up once, briefly, but she suppresses it with a sigh. Of course Ben was going to be irritating about this. He was irritating about everything. And what kind of person would she be if she didn't comfort him before kicking his ass in the pacer?

"Hey," she says gently. As gently as she can, that is. "You don't mean that."

Ben's voice is muffled. "I do mean that."

"Doing things with friends is so much better than doing them alone. Including panic attacks. Right?"

"Not your friend."

"And—" she pauses. "Don't get me wrong, this is your time of need and whatever, but you would really just forfeit and let me win the pacer?" She cocks her head at him, even though his head is still pressed stubbornly against his knees. "You've always fought the inevitable, Ben. That's just who you are."

Ben finally raises his head, despondent, as if having to accept this conversation is taking a very personal and physical toll on his body. "I am having a panic attack," he says, very slowly, "and you are being extremely annoying."

Devi sighs once again. Being supportive of this person feels alien. What is she supposed to do? Pat him on the back? "Okay, she says. Bites her lip. "Do you want to ... talk about it?"

A pause.

"Sure. Fine."

A relieved breath tears through her. Well, she wasn't even certain that was even going to work, so this is a pleasant surprise. She claps her hands once and rubs them together. "Alright! Cool. Tell me what's bothering you and, um, yeah. No judgement. Judgement free zone."

Ben eyes her warily.

Then, ever so slowly, he draws himself up, pressing his palms against the ground.

"I got a text," he says, "from my dad."

Devi peers at him. "Okay," she says, drawing out the syllables. So what. Parents are supposed to text their kids. "And?"

Ben's face bunches into a grimace. He hugs his knees closer to his chest.

"He's extending his work trip for another two weeks. " he says. "And my birthday—he was supposed to come back. On my birthday ... tomorrow."

Devi gapes at him.

"Shit. I'm—that sucks."

Ben inhales once, shaky. "Yeah, David, I know. That's why I'm having a fucking panic attack."

"Well, your dad sucks," Devi declares. It feels like it's the right thing to say. "He should be home for your birthday. Birthdays are important."

Ben shrugs half-heartedly. "It was an important work thing," he says, voice hollow. "Kim Kardashian—"

"Hey," Devi chides, less forceful. "It's still a shitty thing for him to do."

Ben nods. She's not entirely sure he's buying what she's saying, but his breaths seem to have calmed and deepened, which is probably a good sign.

“Yeah,” he says. “I guess.”

Devi lets herself sink next to him, with both of their backs against the wall. For a couple brief moments, the quiet sits on them, heavy and warm, silent except for the sound of a slowly dripping tap and the squeaking of shoes in the background—

“We’re missing the pacer,” Ben finally notes.

Devi picks at her perfectly double-knotted laces. “I know.”

“You’re…missing the pacer for me?”

She rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, dude.”

“I can’t believe—“

She heaves a dramatic sigh. “Don’t make it a big deal, Gross.”

“Yeah—yeah. Okay.”

Drip, drip. The droplets wink at Devi on the way down.

“Ben?” she asks idly.

“Yeah?”

“Are we friends now?”

Ben looks at her sharply.

“What? What about not making this a big deal?”

She shrugs. “I’m just wondering, since you just spilled your sob story to me.”

“Definitely not. We’re not friends.”

“I mean, you had a panic attack in front of me, so.”

Ben scoffs. “That wasn’t my decision, was it?”

Whatever—that was fine enough with her.

Devi closes her eyes. Tips her head back against the wall and mirrors him, drawing up her legs and crossing her arms on top.

“For the record,” she tells him, staring up at the ceiling at the dripping liquid, “I would have totally beaten you.”

“No you wouldn’t have.”

“I totally would! If you didn’t…you know.”

“Sure, David. Whatever you need to think.”

Devi drops her chin down to her chest to study her feet. The laces on her shoes are still binding and tight. Flawlessly tied. Some of her best work, actually. She totally could have kicked his ass, but it can wait until next time.

There’s always a next time.

“Yeah,” she says. “Whatever I need to think.”

#never have i ever #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #ben gross x devi vishwakumar #pairing: world domination*#my fic*#drabble*#never have i ever*#dumb kids. stupid kids. just idiots

0 notes

janiedean · 7 years

Note

Hey Janie, I'm kind of confused about calvinism and what effect it has had, also the differences between calvinism and arminianism. Could you help explain it because I feel like I'm trying to navigate it blind to be honest XD - I'm not familiar with the concepts they refer to and believe in and when I read more about them I just get more confused :( - Thanks

okay, let’s go in order here.

first: both are results of the protestant reform started by martin luther. calvinism is one branch of protestantism and arminianism was born in a calvinist setting (holland/the netherlands) but branched off it itself. so we’re still talking about protestantism but in order to understand a few basic concepts you need to have clear a few basic things re catholicism and luther’s thought first.

second: all protestantism is ‘a bunch of different currents that does not have something in common with catholicism or rejects catholic hierarchy but might have a lot in common with catholic doctrine’. I mean, calvinism is the farthest possible thing from catholicism for reasons I’ll go at in the next point and it’s protestantism, but if I decide I like everything about catholicism except that I think the holy trinity makes no sense and I found my own church for that, I’m still protestant. also it wouldn’t be a good idea since the last time it happened said own church got annihilated but never mind.

third: catholicism has a lot of theological stuff going for itself but in order to make this simple I’m gonna narrow the basic splitting point (from calvinism/lutheran protestantism) to the following: a) free will exists, b) you make your afterlife out of your own choices, c) your actions have impact on your afterlife, d) sinning or doing something Not Cool does not prevent you from accessing paradise if you repent from it. free will is the absolute basic concept which roughly boils down to: God created you and gave you life but then gave you free will to make what the fuck you want out of it. if you’re a nice person you go to heaven, if not you go to hell, if you did horrid shit that would send you to hell but you repent you may still be saved and you can get out of it while you’re alive as well. like, you wash out sins by confessing, going to mass and whatnot and that’s why one of the holy rites of catholicism is the *last* confession and you need a priest before you die if you have anything to repent of. because if you do, then your soul goes to heaven (or purgatory). now, there’s been a lot of discussion over how free will meshes with the idea of an all-knowing God but that’s not the point, you basically just have to know the above basics. ALSO: since your action impact your afterlife, being good and kind to people less fortunate than you and doing things for others and so on is seen as something that helps you go to heaven, so charity and the likes are encouraged. keep that in mind because when discussing calvinism that comes back in full spades.

fourth: the protestant split happened when martin luther got fed up with the catholic church exploiting the above system. meaning, they got as far as actually *selling salvation* (basically you could buy a piece of paper named indulgence which according to the church granted you absolution for all sins without like actual repentance or working for it), which luther found abhorrent along with the church (in rome) asking and getting money out of german catholics and so on. while luther had perfectly good reasons to be pissed (don’t we all dislike the catholic church and its neverending love for money), that meant that when he split and wrote down his own doctrine, shit happened. now, martin luther was also sadly for us a great fan of saint augustine. saint augustine, who was a lot less warm and cuddly than the doctrine leads us to believe, was the person who shaped definitely a concept that’s THE TOTAL KEY TO UNDERSTANDING CALVINISM, as in: predestination. (admittedly it was st. paul’s thing before augustine’s and that’s why I hate both but nvm)

fifth: predestination means that where you head up in the afterlife is decided when you were born. or that God knew already or various variations of it. now, in its original conception, augustine basically went like ‘ALL OF US are doomed to hell and the only way we can be saved is - given that we were baptized before - that God’s divine grace looks upon us and saves us at random and because He wants to and He decided it and we can’t know what triggered that decision. and since it’s up to Him, you can be the best person in existence but if God decides you’re not going upstairs you’re not. what saved the entire mess here tho was that you couldn’t know if God chose you or not so in retrospective being a decent person can’t hurt, but anyway it’s not something that can be guessed when you’re alive. because I mean, the point is that we’re all going to hell anyway and some of us are not but we don’t know which, so judging someone else on account of it is fairly useless.

sixth: luther sadly was a great fan of augustine and unburied the predestination and brought it back to life when the catholic church had pretty much pretended it didn’t exist in those terms up until that point. he had his own version of it which was pretty much a re-elaboration of augustine’s and it was basically ‘we’re all predestined to either hell or heaven but we can’t know it’.

seventh: and then john calvin aka the founder of calvinism happened and came up with his own version of predestination, which is where the entire problem lies when it comes to old calvinism (new/contemporary european calvinism wised up but let’s stick to the topic), which is: calvinist predestination implies that humans are inherently sinful, and until this point it’s the same as the above, but you can actually guess who goes up and who goes down. differently from augustine the idea is that God has already people who he decided are *elects* and deserve salvation and it’s all already decided, and on top of that you can see where the weight scales fall down by… seeing how you do in life. basically, if you do well and you’re rich and you thrive and your business goes great (mind that calvinism was popular in places like, as stated above, the netherlands, where a lot of people relied on being merchants/having jobs that required being successful and where a lot of these merchants actually were successful SO) then it’s a sign from God that you’re one of the elected people. if you’re poor, your life sucks, you’re a criminal or otherwise doomed then too bad, you’re going downstairs, and if it looked like you were saved but then you did something shitty and fell from grace and became poor or something then ops then you obviously were never meant to be saved in the first place and there’s literally nothing you can do about it because it’s divine will that you’re headed downstairs or upstairs and nothing can change it.

eight: ARMINIANS. so, arminianism is basically counter-calvinism culture. the founder (arminius) had been a calvinist pastor but then started questioning it and left to be a theology professor and found his own movement that later put down properly their doctrine. the differences are that: you can be saved as long as you believe in Jesus and keep on being faithful (which is basically the exact contrary of what Calvinist predestination says), Christ died for all of us and not some of us who deserved salvation, you can’t have christianity without the holy spirit, you can reject God’s saving grace (which is the contrary of what Augustine said or anyone who denies that free will is a thing says) and people who are Christians can lose it (which according to calvinists is absolutely a no because you’re born with it and God can’t have given it to you wrongly since being predestined you deserved it).

ninth: obviously the calvinists in charge were really not okay with it and tldr they held a synod named synod of dort (read on wiki for more info) where they condemned arminians as heretics and proceeded to send into exile or imprison a lot of the arminian disciples. so also because they had to leave they started being sort of influential in other countries (ie england) and like a lot of the doctrine of evangelists and new calvinists/protestants churches is actually following arminianism rather than Original Calvinism TM but basically the point is that they absolutely wholeheartedly rejected the absolute predestination theory.

and this is about the part where we talk about the arminianism/calvinism difference. now, about the consequences of calvinism:

it has had a fairly important influence on western thought because a lot of the most important northern intellectuals in europe were calvinist (francis bacon, a bunch of theologists and artists and so on), but what’s the point here is that the puritan revolution in england was led by calvinists. the point was that they wanted to purify the anglican church (mind that the anglican church was basically catholic church just with the possibility to divorce and the likes) and eliminate all the compromises with catholicism that were a thing under elizabeth I and henry VIII. like actually most british calvinism was a thing because of opposition to elizabeth and ‘puritan’ was like a dispregiative term for extremist protestants. anyway, not all puritans were calvinists and most calvinists in britain were puritan and tldr after cromwell and the failure of his revolution and the failure of reforming the anglican church, they suffered from a limitation of rights and tldr they left england and went to other places.

among which the united states.

spoilers: most of the original pilgrims were puritan calvinists.

now, while the founding fathers weren’t as bad as how I made it sound like (i mean there’s decent stuff in calvinism as well as there’s decent stuff in everything, the problem is the extremism AND the fucking predestination), most of the protestant churches that took roots in the US were calvinist and into predestination. which imo reflects greatly on a lot of US structures/ways of thinking.

example: the concept of american dream is ‘if you work hard and put effort into it you shall succeed at all costs if you persevere hard enough and if you deserved it you shall be successful and do good and earn money’. it’s basically the whole ‘if you work hard and it goes well then God loves you and you’re going to heaven’ predestination stint. or, tbh I feel like the american healthcare is also an embodiment of predestination. it’s like, if you can afford insurance and to pay for cures then you had money from before and you were successful so God wants you to be fine and it’s worth it to keep you alive, if you’re poor and can’t afford to pay for it then well it was obvious you were headed downstairs so why should we waste our money on curing you if you’re damned and you don’t deserve salvation? and so on.

or: I find the concept of ‘I don’t want to pay taxes for someone else’s wellbeing/education because I don’t need it so why should I pay for them’ also very predestination!calvinist because like, it’s ‘I earned my money and it’s a sign that I’m chosen/blessed/whatever so why should I waste it on someone else’ when actually if everyone paid a small tax to send everyone to university for free you’d pay less than it costs you to send your kids to college on your own without a scolarship. like the entire american school system is also ‘if you come from a successful family you can afford it and you get privileges that come with being educated, if you can’t afford it fuck you here’s your GED college ain’t for you’. and so on.

now, this whole thing also shows up when you end up judging others out of what they do or their lifestyle or what they like. you’re poor? meh, fuck off, it’s because you don’t work hard enough. and in fandom it’s kind of blatant from this whole new discourse showing up because like, most of the Discourse TM is ‘I don’t like this fictional thing and I think it’s Bad and you like it so therefore you also must be Bad and you shouldn’t like it’, which is judging someone based on what little you know about their life/tastes and deciding they’re immoral or not acceptable while yours are. pure 100% calvinist puritan drivel, except that people didn’t study it at school so they don’t realize they’re being puritan calvinists. the problem is that in europe people evolved from that concept, the US - being on the other side of the world - didn’t get the wave of new calvinism that rejected or softened the predestination concept, which is why I have a feeling old calvinism still is to be found in a lot of what comes from the US’s way of thinking.

now, FAR FROM ME TO MAKE A CATHOLIC CHURCH PAMPHLET BECAUSE I’M ATHEIST AND I HAVE ENDLESS ISSUES WITH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, but going back to the beginning (and also partially to arminianism because arminianism and catholicism have a lot in common doctrinally - the points listed above are all things that catholics admit/have accepted for ages)… okay so, I’ve seen people going like UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE OR FREE EDUCATION ARE SOCIALIST PROPAGANDA AND SOCIALISM IS BAD TM. now, I live in the country where the vatican is, I can 100% assure you italy’s not socialist per se (lol as if, we haven’t had a left wing government that lasted a legislation never mind socialism) and that the church and socialism aren’t really politically friends… and we have both. because paying taxes to help your neighbor is seen as the right and *catholic* thing to do, since it’s a good thing you do to help others and being a good person and helping others is also what gives you the keys to paradise. you have to earn your salvation and you aren’t born with sin that you can’t shake off (that’s what baptisms are for) and you can confess your sins and do something to have them forgiven, so not shelling out for others doesn’t mean at all that you’re keeping your hard-earned money that some sinner doesn’t deserve. if you shell out for others you’ve done a good thing and you helped someone else, and especially, being poor is not seen as a sign of being damned. which is why charity is encouraged and so on. now, there’s the downside that a lot of people take it in a very paternalistic way and would rather run soup kitchens to help poor people right in the moment rather than coming up with a solution to solve the issue at the root so people aren’t poor in the first place, but basically free will and the lack of predestination turns into a general culture where it’d be inconceivable to think that someone on welfare is stealing other people’s hard-earned resources or anything like that because someone on welfare isn’t some poor bastard destined for hell who just doesn’t want to work for it, it’s someone who was less lucky than I was and since I got it better it’s my duty to help out my neighbor in need. and so on. like that is what I mean with basic cultural difference between calvinism-run societies and catholicism-run societies.

goes unsaid as I mentioned above that not all calvinists are still into absolute predestination (hell, the day I pay taxes I’m gonna give a share that goes to churches on automatic to a protestant calvinist italian church that uses its money for secular projects and like finances scientific research, volunteering organization and so on rather than giving it to the catholic church) and a lot of current day european calvinists are a lot more advanced than the catholic church (female priests! non-hetero weddings! and so on) but count that a lot of those also incorporated parts of arminian doctrine accidentally or not. anyway that’s not even 10% of it so I hope it’s a good starting point to read more on the subject (mind that I simplified a lot of stuff here XD) but like that’s the basic differences. but by all means read also from other sources don’t take me for granted because as stated this is all v. complex stuff and I narrowed it down a lot. :)

#religion for ts #calvinism for ts #catholicism for ts #janie rants #Anonymous #ask post #long post

27 notes · View notes

real-faker · 7 years

Note

Ack sorry about sending another pitch question (I know you said something about people sending those) but you mentioned you pitched a show twice, and since I'm a creeper, I read the tags and you said the pitch wasn't how we'd think they'd be; how were they, then, out of curiosity? If I ever pitch a show, in your position, what should I expect? What exactly happened? Sorry for asking all these questions; you've been my inspiration for a while and I hope I can pitch my own show someday!! Thank you

Oh no, that’s fine! I don’t mind telling my experience with it, and I’ve even given pitching tips before, but this post is about the extent of my knowledge. (You can also just search my blog for “pitch”, ‘cause I’ve reblogged stuff from other people that actually KNOW what they’re talking about, haha) I just don’t want people under the impression that I’m super experienced with it, or that I’ve ever pitched to a big deal network or producer. I absolutely haven’t. I have exactly 2 pitching experiences. The first one was a few years ago at an event in Nashville called “Film-Com”, which is an annual trade show/expo event for financing and distributing filmmaking projects. Basically you get a booth, and you set up in this convention center with all these other aspiring creators (filmmakers, documentary people, a few video game/new media folks, all sorts), and they’ve invited a WHOLE SWATH of producers and industry professionals to come mull around the show floor with you so you can make connections and get your product out there EAT FREE MEALS and then idk, maybe fuckin’ walk around a bit and look at your dumb shitty projects if they fuckin’ feel like it but they probably wont, so what ends up happening is all the creators just walk around and look at each others’ shit, which for me—being the only animator there—means that a bunch of other jack-knobs who have some vague idea for a shitty cartoon end up giving me THEIR card so that maybe in the future I can work on THEIR dumbfuck ideas.ANYWAY, to get to the point, they selected certain projects and scheduled them to actually go up and pitch in front of a whole room full of producers. This happened over the course of the whole day, so I suspect the reason none of the producers were walking around interacting with people is ‘cause they were stuck in a room all day hearing 30 different suck-ass pitches and when it was all said and done they were probably exhausted. I was scheduled as the last pitch of the day. I enter the room and wait patiently; the person before me is running about 10 minutes over their allotted time. I scan the room… everyone is MISERABLE. They’re anxious, they’re uninterested, they’re sighing… the main guy who’s sort of monitoring the whole thing is pinching his brow and trying his best to keep up the pretense of politeness in telling the current pitcher to wrap it up. NONE of these people want to be here anymore. It seems like everyone’s spent the whole day “warming ‘em up” for me, but now they’re all sweaty and miserable, so I can either go up there and give another mediocre pitch, OR I can go up there and try my goddamn hardest to make them laugh.

I go up on stage, just IMMEDIATELY force myself to get over any fears I have, and I pitch W2H. I screen a short mock trailer I made (no way I’d force them to sit through that whole fucking thing), and it’s sort of like a fever dream, because I can see all of the life returning to their faces, they’re WAY into it, I’m doing fucking GREAT somehow, despite literally zero experience… and when it was all said and done, it became abundantly clear that even though they all LOVED it, not a single one of them could help me. None of them were animation producers. None of them KNEW animation producers. One guy suggested I go into comics, because “comics get turned into film and tv shows all the time”. I just had the PERFECT fucking pitch, and I pitched to people who couldn’t fucking help me. As I was leaving, many of them came up to me and actually thanked me for sending them off for the day on a good note. There was a big dinner at like, the fucking Governers’ mansion or something that night, and again, some of them were coming up to me and thanking me, wishing me the best and all that. I guess if nothing else, I learned what I’m capable of.

The second pitch was an ACTUAL disaster. When I’d first graduated I thought I could pitch W2H to Frederator, ‘cause it seemed like a good fit. They told me (understandably) that they couldn’t reverse-engineer a show from something I’d already produced, and also that it was inappropriate (despite having a show at the time called “SuperFuckers”, but whatever; language and subject matter are different things). Later on I got an email from them, saying that someone in their office was familiar with my work, and they invited me to come pitch them something that wasn’t W2H. They also said that I was free to swing by their office any time, even “just to hang out”, and that if I had any questions “whether it be pitching or where to get the best burgers in Burbank”, to hit them up. How friendly! How perfect! I was JUST about to move out to L.A., so I started working on this idea tentatively called “Gayliens”. I swung by their office once, you know, just to pop in, like they said; thought I’d make myself known or whatever. They looked at me like I was nuts. They still invited me in and we chatted for a bit about the history of early Disney studios, but when they asked why I was there, and I reminded them about the email they’d sent, they seemed to have no idea what I was talking about. I told them I was working on a pitch for them and that I’d be in touch so we could schedule something. When I finally finished putting my pitch together, I went in for a meeting with them. It was just 2 folks, we were in like a board meeting-type room (which I imagine is probably standard). They made some small talk with me first, which I’m sure was an attempt to loosen us all up a bit and set the mood, but all of their questions really caught me off guard. (I guess they asked where I was working, and when I told them I didn’t have a studio job, they asked how I was making money, and I’m sure it wasn’t meant to put me in an awkward position, but people asking me how I make money literally ALWAYS puts me in an awkward position, because my income sources are scattered and weird. Try explaining how youtube ad revenue works to your social services worker, it’s a blast.) SO okay, I let myself get tripped up a bit. I go on with the pitch; they don’t really want me to pitch the concept, they just have me show them my storyboards and read through the whole thing. They’re DEAD silent the whole time. I can’t get a read on them at all. When it’s over, they ask me some more questions that trip me up. Some of them are 100% my fault; they asked for a title, and I wasn’t ready to say “Oh, it’s tentatively called GAYLIENS,” out loud to people who I couldn’t get a read from.

It’s all kind of a blur, but the few topics of discussion I remember them bringing up were that “the storyboards look almost TOO good”, like it was TOO polished or well-developed (which is sort of a backhanded compliment I guess???), because see, “when they made Adventure Time… blah blah blah it just started off as this loose idea, and once they were a season or so into it, they started expanding on the universe and developing the characters a little bit more…” — AS IF ANYONE doesn’t understand why AT got so popular??? You don’t have to TELL ME, I WAS WATCHING IT, I FUCKING KNOW. No one gave a shit about AT until they got Rebecca Sugar and all these talented writers working on it a couple seasons in, and doing all this character-heavy shit. I tried to present them with something that had all that character shit baked into it already, ‘cause I knew they were gonna’ use AT as an example. But it seemed like they’re not looking for something that’s already developed with it’s own voice or sensibility, they’re looking for a vague idea that they can mold into something as they go.

They also told me–and I still can’t get over this–that they’re looking for “”””””characters that people will want to cosplay as””””””, which is funny to me for a plethora of reasons; namely that they have no way of knowing that PEOPLE DO COSPLAY AS MY CHARACTERS, but also that I spent half of my time in college working on ridiculous magical girl Adventure Time crossover group cosplays (don’t fuckin’ laugh) like trust me I’m ALARMINGLY familiar with cosplay, and ALSO, that looking for a new property with the guidelines that it should be “the next big thing that some fucking nerds will dress up as at comic con” just seems like such an out-of-touch-but-trying-to-be-hip, capitalize-on your-fandom-doing-all-the-legwork-for-you, fucking executive thing to say. I know I sound like a whiny art school kid saying that but my animation instructor was so anti-establishment, and I carry a lot of that with me still, and something about that statement–insignificant as it may be–kind of epitomizes how I feel about the industry? It’s a hard thing to explain. I walked out of that pitch with my mind feeling like TV static. My friends were waiting for me next door at a bakery and they were super excited, asking me how it went, and I was just like “I mean… BAD, for sure, but I don’t know where to even start.” Hahaha. I don’t know. It just seems like everyone wants to play gatekeeper I guess. They want This Thing™, but it can’t be too This Thing™. They want the thing to have A Fandom™, but they don’t really understand fandom ‘cause they don’t participate in fandom. They want Your Idea™ but they want to make it Their Idea™. I don’t know. I’m just angry and bitter and that’s my experience with pitching. Admittedly some of what went wrong in these pitches was my fault, or there were circumstances beyond my control, and regardless of how that pitch went, I don’t actually dislike Frederator (I’m on their youtube network), and Fred Seibert has actually done a ton of iconic shit.I don’t think I’ve ever AIRED MY GRIEVANCES in such great detail before, but there you have it. If you want some tips on pitching, you can check out the links I provided at the beginning of the post; there’s tons of people out there who actually know their shit too, and they’d probably give more proactive advice. I don’t know if this helps at all, but hopefully you can glean something from it! That’s just my limited experience with it. Haha. Good luck!

#pitching #ask #personal #Anonymous

55 notes · View notes