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jben073 · 4 months

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hai! I saw ur post abt Grace headcanons, and I just wanted to ask about her and her connection to Blinky

Hi anon! Here’s an unintentionally kind of long elaboration about my headcanon for Grace being connected to the Lords in Black for much longer than we see in canon! This is like a mix of headcanons as well as overanalyzing things in canon under the context of these hcs!

Also, funny story, I fully misinterpreted this ask the first time that I read it and thought that you were asking for headcanons of Grace’s dynamic with Blinky so I ended up writing a ton of those before I realized that you were talking specifically about a point from my last hc post! With that being said, I’ll also be posting those headcanons after this as a bit of a bonus so that they don’t go to waste!

Quick reiteration of the hc that this is based on and also another point that inspired this:

I like to think that Grace has been connected to the LIB since long before we see her, Steph, and Pete summon them in NPMD. Like Lex was once connected to Webby but forgot as she got older, Grace was friends with the Lords in Black when she was a child but she lost that memory as she grew up.

This point was mostly inspired by Blinky’s line about having been watching Grace and the fact that Grace is implied to have the gift since she had a vision of Max killing Richie.

The other point that inspired this was that in the NPMD talkback, they answered a question that essentially asked if Grace was the anti-christ and if I recall correctly, they never gave a definitive ‘yes’ or ‘no’ so that spiralled into the idea that Grace is essentially the anti-Hannah of the Hatchetfield universe.

Basically, if Hannah is connected to Webby and in the simplest of terms is meant to use her abilities to save Hatchetfield, Grace is connected to the Lords in Black and is meant to destroy it.

Onto connection hcs now!

- The Lords introduced themselves to Grace when she was a very young girl. They told her that they were guardian angels sent by God to protect her which allowed them to gain her trust and more easily persuade her under the guise of holy intentions. They were playing the long con so they couldn’t be antagonistic at this point. First, they had to convince her that they were there to help.

Tinky made sure she was never late to school, Blinky kept an eye out for her when she was crossing the road, Wiggly helped her stand up to her bullies, Nibbly reminded her not to forget her lunch bag, Pokey made sure she remembered the lyrics for her choir performances at church, etc.

- Through establishing this trust with Grace, they were able to take the opportunity of being around her during her crucial developmental years to instill their values/views on things like violence and death in her. This is why things like lying to the police or selling drugs are bad in her mind while dismembering a body is not!

This is also how Grace picks up the habit of using the same nick-naming conventions as the Lords in Black do. The LIB very often refer to people as “name-ie/y” like Stephie, Gracie, etc. and similarly, in Bury the Bully, Grace is shown to do the same thing: “Petey, get the acid, Ruthie, you can grab the hatchet, and Stephie, tapes!” This bit of influence remained with her even after she forgot about the LIB.

- As she got older, likely around the age that she was approaching Middle School, the Lord’s methods changed since she was too old for ‘imaginary friends’ now. They slowly stopped talking to her outright and let her forget them so that they could begin strengthening their connection even further. Rather than talking to her as external beings, they essentially merged themselves and their voices in with her subconscious thoughts to the point that Grace isn’t even really aware that these thoughts aren’t truly her own. They’re still with her and arguably closer than ever before but to her, they were nothing more than imaginary friends that, eventually, she’ll forget all together.

Notably, during this time of perceived distance, Blinky keeps an especially watchful and vigilant eye on Grace, learning the things that matter to her most and waiting for the right time for them to reenter her life officially.

Little analysis/theory thing of mostly canon that I like to use to support this hc :3 (I’m aware this doesn’t work perfectly but it’s fun to me!)

(someone on this site has definitely said something similar about the Dirty Girl lighting before so I at least know I’m not the only one thinking this way lol)

The lighting in this show is really deliberate a lot of the time and I think that the colours used in Dirty Girl especially are very specific! In that scene, the lighting is pink and purple which I like to interpret as being a sign of Blinky and Nibbly’s influence on Grace. We know from the later line in the summoning that Blinky has been watching Grace and I think that this lighting here says that he is watching her now. (Similarly, when Steph and Pete have the purple lighting during If I Loved You, he is watching them then, which is how the LIB know what Steph cherishes most.)

Then with Nibbly, he’s all about hunger and desire so if his lighting is there, I like to think that his influence is what’s making Grace have this dream. He’s known Grace for her whole life; he knows that having sexual desire is one of the worst things that she can think of doing, so it becomes the perfect tool to make her snap. The LIB need her to be in a state of distress and separation from her faith so that she’s pliable to their will and they know that this will get her there. Nibbly’s influence here is the first step in the second phase of their plan to recruit Grace as their conduit (the first being to meet her when she’s young and input their values in her).

Similarly, the lighting while they act out Grace’s plan at the Waylon Place is all blue, and when you think about how Grace’s idea was largely centered around putting on a performance for Max it’s interesting to consider that Pokey may have been the one to put that idea in Grace’s head. Pokey, knowing that the Waylon Place was structurally unsound, wanted ‘Grace’s’ plan to fail or more accurately, he wanted his plan to go exactly as he intended. The nerds killing Max is just another push for Grace toward being open to their intervention.

Grace also mentions to Steph that she hasn’t been thinking clearly lately after the Beanies scene which I like to think is because the LIB have gotten louder in her head. Again, she’s used to their quiet influencing of her and believes that their voices are truly her own thoughts so when they’ve pushed her this far already, they take her vulnerable state as a chance to get a bit more vocal and demanding. In response, Grace interprets that chaos as just not being able to think clearly because for the first time, it is not her own thoughts that are most prominent in her head.

By the time Grace summons them with Steph and Pete, they’ve already gotten her exactly where they want her. She’s given in to sexual desires and she’s gone against her morals, thus she’s in the perfect place for them to start the final phase of their plan.

First, reveal themselves to her. Attack her connection to her faith and sever her from her moral guide. This way she’ll be desperate for something new to guide her in the absence of what she has always held central to her character.

(slight interruption bc I didn't know where to put this otherwise vv)

I think it’s interesting in the summoning scene that Grace’s “oh!”s during the beginning of the song sound different from Pete and Steph’s. To me, the sound she’s making as well as her facial expressions (right before the Lords appear, she squeezes her eyes shut tightly and tucks her head against her chest in a grimace-like expression) almost give the impression that she is in pain. In the context of my reading, I think that the LIB taking a physical form and essentially detaching themselves from Grace’s mind was a painful sensation for her.

Second, use her friends and her nature against her to get her to give up her chastity: the final connection that Grace has to her faith and the very thing that gives her a sense of self/identity. They need her to be hopeless and lost if they want her to submit to them.

Grace might be morally corrupt, but she is self-sacrificing and they know that, they’ve seen the Abstinence Camp timeline and watched her throw herself in front of an axe to protect Steph and Pete. The LIB’s deal to get rid of Max was never truly about getting what Grace, Steph, or Pete cherished most; it was about breaking Grace. They always knew that she would be the one to give something up in the end, they just had to make sure it was her chastity and that her friends would be at risk if she wasn’t the one to make the sacrifice.

In doing this, they can now reenter her life and influence her uninhibited by the previous objections of her faith. They have at their fingertips a sheltered teenage girl, that’s desperate for guidance and full of unchecked rage and potential power who they’ve primed to be moulded into whatever they like as long as they present themselves as all that she has left and they have succeeded in doing that.

Following this would be mostly canon activities with Grace being fully under their influence and on her crusade against dirty dudes!

(And in my head I’m gonna make it a little sad because this girl gave up the most important thing to her and everyone perceives it as silly because Steph and Pete’s were another person which is way bigger of a deal in comparison, but it still makes me sad that she didn’t get to chose having her first time!! It was something she had to do without getting to decide if she was ready and that hurts my heart. Now she’s just a lost kid who has been constantly having people tell her what to think and how to act and she’s found possibly the worst people to follow because she’s desperate and doesn’t know how to exist if she’s not worshipping someone else. Someone just give her a hug and tell her that she’s allowed to fuck up every once in a while, PLEASE!)

Okay, that’s all for now! This was really long and rambly so I hope that it made sense!! If anything I said needs clarifying/further elaboration feel free to let me know/ask and I can rephrase/add-on! :3

Thank you for the ask anon!!

#grace chasity #lords in black #starkid hcs #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #hatchetfield #nightmare time #stephanie lauter #pete spankoffski #wiggly #pokey #nibbly #tinky #blinky

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oficmag · 1 year

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Announcement: 2023 OFIC Press Prize

Submissions for the 2023 OFIC Press Prize are OPEN until 11:59pm EST on June 1, 2023.

The OFIC Press Prize will be awarded to up to 2 novels and up to 3-4 novellas, which will be published in 2024. The prize for a novel is $1000 and a novella $250. Novels will be published as standalone books and novellas will be compiled into an anthology.

We're looking for manuscripts that don't really fit in a traditional publishing category, maybe because they're too romance-y for general or literary fiction, and not romance-y enough for romance. Or maybe there's just a truly tasteless amount of smut. What we value most is an earnest portrayal of character, interesting relationship dynamics, and well-crafted prose that prioritizes clarity and voice.

We can guarantee the winners their prize money, thorough editorial feedback, professional cover design, and digital publication. We plan to run a Kickstarter to fund a physical print and distribution. Should our Kickstarter succeed, you'll also receive 10 copies of your book/anthology. We'll do a print of 100 copies to sell in our online store in addition to the number of Kickstarter contributors.

Rules & Restrictions:

Novellas can be 12,000 to 50,000 words; novels are over 50,000. While we have no upper limit, know that anything over 150k is going to be a really hard sell. We're not opposed, though. If it slaps, it slaps.

Must be written in English.

Author must be 18 or older to submit.

Your work cannot be published or posted anywhere else. If you’ve posted a work on any social platform, even if you take it down, for legal reasons, we cannot accept it. This means you can’t delete a work from AO3 and file off the serial numbers to send to us.

Your work must stand on its own as an original piece, although we of course welcome common fanfiction tropes (or the subversion thereof), and works that feel fanfiction-y but contain original characters and worlds. Again, legal reasons.

We can't publish song lyrics (either within the manuscript or in the title) unless they're public domain.

Manuscript Formatting:

Please provide the following as front matter of your manuscript:

A title page with your contact info. Your AO3 handle/social media can go here if you're comfortable sharing that, as well as if you'd like to publish under a pseud or pen name.

A cover letter with a brief fan history. You can share however much or little you'd like to share, but we're mostly looking for your relationship to fandom and fanfiction: how long you've been in fandom, what fandoms you've been in, community events you've participated in, things like that. If you don't know what "in fandom" means, this is not the press for you.

A synopsis of the story. This doesn't have to be fancy or professional-sounding. In fact the closer it sounds to a tumblr shitpost, the better. Pretend your best friend has just asked, "So what's your book about?" The synopsis would be the long answer/tea spill that follows. It should include all major plot beats (even if that involves major spoilers). No page limit, but it shouldn't be super long, up to 5ish pages, preferably 1-2.

You can format it however you like as long as the font is readable, preferably 12pt Times New Roman or Garamond. Please provide page numbers in the footer of the document. Double-spaced preferred with one inch indentation at the start of paragraphs.

If you have questions or would like clarification on any of the above, email [email protected] or send us an ask. We’re excited to read your work!

site | subscribe | submit | faq

#writeblr #bookblr #book publishing #creative writing #open submissions #novel submissions

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magebastard · 1 year

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For the Infamous ask game: Songwriting, Lyrics, and Wild card for anyone you'd like please! <333 (Also thank you for sending me one too! It is still sitting in my inbox, but I'm itching to get to it hehe) ~ @whowhatifs

ya of course omg also thank you for asking roz!

songwriting answered here!

Lyrics: What are some songs you associate with your character? Any specific lyrics that really scream your character?

there are Too many but the first that jumped to mind were this specific breakdown in bite the hand - boygenius

“Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you I am?

What do you wanna say?

What do you think will change?

Maybe I'm afraid of you.

Maybe I'm afraid of you.”

Wild card: Tell us something about your MC! Feel free to really just roll us over with an emotional steamroller and crush the souls out of our bodies, if you’d like. (You’re also welcome to choose one of the other questions to answer!)

i will give a 1 1/2 answer! which is just two small fun little things.

the first: lane does not drive anywhere if they can help it. they bike or scooter or skateboard or walk but driving is their last resort always. their dingy green hatchback is more like a box for listening to music through a bad stereo and transporting equipment when necessary.

and the second little thing: uh lane exists in everyone’s canon playthroughs they’re selling ur bands merch they’re ur mc’s biggest fan they’re hauling ur gear they’re chain smoking at the gig

#whowhatifs #thank you sm again!#c: lane wheatley

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coffinliqueur · 1 year

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I was tagged by @yennas to share my Top 5 Songs! 8Da Haa, thank you very much for thinking of me! ♥

As with most people, my five favorite songs are subject to change/fluctuate based on moment/mood, plus it’s hard to narrow down five in the first place, but here are five that I tend to think of when asked that question:

1. Blind - Placebo (The only consistent one. If I’m asked to give one favorite song, it will always be this one until further notice. Beautiful song, and alternate versions are sheer beauty, too. -- Oh and also this instrumental cover is another one of my favorite things. I first listened to it after I got off a night shift job around Christmastime, and the mood was just... fucking amazing.)

2. Daze - Poets of the Fall (There are a bunch of Poets of the Fall songs that I will rush to offer as amazing songs - consider “Carnival of Rust”, “Children of the Elder God”, and “Roses”, among so many others - but good goddamn this one is just gloriously electric and shiny - it sounds like watching a combination Cirque du Soleil performance and fireworks show taking place over a really reflective and sparkly lake in a way that’s pitch-perfect to me to the point where I can thoroughly forgive the fact that it uses the “fire/desire” rhyme. -- Which, I mean, I also forgive because Poets of the Fall lyrics are generally really well-written and also they’re all delivered in Marko Saaresto’s gorgeous fucking voice. This man has possibly the prettiest voice there ever was. And also I linked the video especially purposefully - I love the video for “Daze” and it’s also aesthetic perfection in my eyes.)

3. Never Let Go - Tom Waits (Also b e a u t i f u l . . . a song or other expression of loyalty always whoof fucking gets me. “Our ring’s in the pawnshop, the rain’s in the hole, down at the five points I stand... I’ll lose everything, but I won’t let go of your hand.” “Dare me to jump and I will... I’ll fall from your grace, but I’ll never net go of your hand.” Music that sounds raggedly and rustically yet resolutely triumphant *for* its loyalty like it’s a hope through hardship and has Tom Waits’s vocals also selling that same feeling... This is a song I associate with Ethan Winters, as a side note!) 4. Lullaby - The Cure (I taught myself this song for piano class. 8,D And its riffs, and subtle vocals... it’s a song that just comes together for me. It sounds like a song being sung in the evening about a horrible nightmare about being eaten by spiders that someone’s just... come to expect. They’re telling you what that dream is like, and you’re agreeing... “...yeah that sounds like a fucked-up dream. 8,|a” - also, “I feel like I’m being eaten by a thousand million shivering furry holes” is a horrifying but evocative image.)

5. The Crutch - Billy Talent (The sound fucking slaps, and the song is about getting unwittingly roped into an ultimately traumatizing abusive relationship... but... it r o c k s . . . “Ghost Ship of Cannibal Rats” and “This is How It Goes” are other great Billy Talent songs!)

I tag @rxttenfish, @firebirdnixy, @nobutseriouslywhat, @qualitystrangetrash, @witch-of-the-west-country, and everyone else who sees this, if you’d like to answer it. B,0a

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ruined-my-life-by-not-being-mine · 2 months

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Rank TTPD variants by curiousity and by prettyiness?

Hi anon! The curiosity of variants I take as the bonus songs, as they’re what interests me the most in them, so my rambling thoughts focus mainly on that. I hope that’s not a problem and that these answer your question <3

Curiosity

TTPD: The Albatross Edition - not gonna lie, this variant just stole my heart?? Like “Am I allowed to cry?” After ALL the songs in which she was constantly repeating “I’m strong, I won’t cry, even if I will, I’m still strong and this won’t happen again” - there’s even “I vowed not to cry anymore” in The Great War, it’s a lyric-comparison that I’m pretty sure I reblogged here already (or I will). There’s something she kept away or maybe even his from herself, and, with the best of intentions, I’m so, so, so curious about that.

TTPD: The Manuscript Edition - “I love you, it’s ruining my life” as a Gorgeous Stan I have been in constant distress and feelings of torment ever since! Even though it’s pretty self-explanatory, with the context the swifties found until now, I am curious how this may re-contextualise this song, and many more that also reference this sort of thinking (yknow, like Cruel Summer comparison I also saw). And that is not even mentioning that the title of the song sounds intriguing as it is!!

TTPD: The Black Dog Edition - “old habits die screaming” is something that took my by surprise as much as the above, but I think it’s something that, even though stuck to me, didn’t pull on my emotions as much as The Manuscript.

TTPD: The Bolter Edition - “you don’t get to tell me about sad” ALSO incredibly curious about that; but it’s probably the one I’m the least interested in, simple as that.

Prettiness

TTPD: The Albatross Edition - she looks like she just woke up on this cover and there’s something so sweet and ghostly, haunting about that! Also related to my little analysis on the lyrics above… And I wonder what pictures in this atmosphere we’ll get inside the album itself (if I’m correct on how these variants work). YEAH, hopefully that’s the one I get.

TTPD: The Black Dog Edition - I am a sucker for dark covers, and this one is exactly that; she’s twisted and tangled on it and the expression on her face just sells it for me - it looks really special. Really, if I don’t manage to get my hands on The Albatross Edition, this will be my pick!

TTPD: The Manuscript Edition - it’s so pretty, calm, sensual, just scratches the right part of my brain I’d say. It’s secretive and mysterious - gives off the vibes of this album so much!

TTPD: The Bolter Edition - I’m just not a fan of beige and the cover seems the least pretty to me in comparison to other ones, sorry :/.

#I’m clearly neglecting Bolter. sorry it just doesn’t do it for me as much as the other lol #also. I’m not hiding the favourite child among the variants am I. the albatross edition is just SOMETHING ELSE to me OKAY #anyways. I hope all that’s alright to say haha #and that the tags I put here aren’t annoying or wrong yknow #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #the albatross #the manuscript #the bolter #the black dog

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the-somewhat-rambling-reviewer · 2 months

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Private Lessons (2020)

Sometimes, I like age-gap stories, and sometimes, I don’t.

This is one of the instances where I do.

One of the things I like about this one is: Neither character is predatory. They just like each other. I don’t know whether them starting a relationship when they’re still teacher and student is strictly ethical or not, but neither crosses any big lines in my opinion.

Open to the professor, Yeong Il, waking up student, Jae Hyun. Jae Hyun has not turned any poetry assignment, and he’s fine with receiving an F. However, he quickly makes it clear, “I’ll come to your class no matter what.”

Yeong II wants to know why Jae Hyun is clinging to the class, and Jae Hyun counters Yeong II is clinging to him.

The thing is, Yeong II isn’t. He might already be attracted to Jae Hyun, it’s not exactly clear, but throughout everything, he is operating under: Student needs help, I will help, and in return, student will utilise help to turn in appropriate work.

So, Yeong II decides to give remedial help to Jae Hyun, and Jae Hyun is down for this, except, he wants to meet outside of school. During this, it’s also established Yeong II has no cellphone.

Yeong II suggests a place they can meet, and Jae Hyun readily agrees.

There’s a mini-montage of them meeting, and then, Jae Hyun gives Yeong II a cellphone.

I don’t think any subversion was intended, but with groomers often using electronic gifts in order to further their predation, this is interesting to me. Jae Hyun may or may not have a job, but he doesn’t the money to spend on a smartphone. Yet, he seems serious about buying Yeong II a smartphone when he does have the money, and I read his reaction after saying this as him realising he’d maybe just revealed certain things that he’s not quite ready to, and so, he tried to flip things back by saying Yeong II, the older of the two, should be giving him a gift.

He doesn’t want anything material, however. Yeong II might be buying the beverages they’ve been seen drinking, but that’s not a particularly big deal.

The cellphone is so that he and Yeong II can be better connected. All he wants is assurance, if he calls, his call will be answered.

I don’t know how cell plans work in South Korea, but this college student who, again, may not even have a job, has gotten a phone for a professor. I’m not sure such a thing could be presented without extremely weird overtones in more western countries.

And I’m not sure what I think about Yeong II accepting it.

After this, in a different meeting, Jae Hyun has once again fallen asleep, and Yeong II either realises or fully accepts he has feelings for him here.

Later, in the dusky sunset, Yeong II waxes lyrical about poetry. Props to the actor for selling the character’s love and commitment to this particular form of art/literature. I definitely think he’s the type of professor who made the right career choice for himself.

Yeong II is basking in the moment of sharing his love for poetry, and looking at him, Jae Hyun is just basking in the moment. It’s like the meme of someone staring at something whilst a person stares at them.

In this case, Yeong II notices, but questioning whether he has something on his face, he’s probably genuinely misinterpreting the stare.

Then, there’s a moment, and he does realise it’s happening, but he isn’t going to kiss his student here. Instead, he says it’s time to go, and Jae Hyun would rather keep sitting in the sunset with him. “Stay with me. The night view is so wonderful.”

Or the sight of his professor in the moonlight. Semantics, really.

Later, Yeong II writes poetry to express his feelings.

Look, I was the kid my classmates prayed wouldn’t get prodded by the teacher to speak during English and literature classes, because, I could and would make my disdain for both poetry and Shakespeare (minus Much Ado About Nothing) along with my alternate views on Jane Austen’s work known. As far as I know, no one ever had a crush on me, but if they did, they did the right thing by never trying to give me a love poem, because, even though I was not a cruel kid, I likely would have badly mishandled such a gift.

TL/DR version: I will not be analysing the poems in any way aside from noting they’re love poems.

During this, Jae Hyun calls, and he comments on Yeong II not sleeping.

I’ve had people wake me up by calling, and I don’t know how exactly I sound, but they’ve always known I was sleeping. I can believe Jae Hyun can tell Yeon II wasn’t sleeping based on how he answered/sounded when he did so.

What I don’t get is: Jae Hyun called when he thought Yeong II should be sleeping. So, either, he was expecting Yeong II to not be woken up by the phone, or he did intend to wake him up despite the fact he thinks Yeon II should be sleeping.

Am I missing something?

Jae Hyun wants to talk about the fact they’re apparently not meeting after school anymore, and he talks about how nice the experience was for him.

Meanwhile, Yeong II probably can’t/doesn’t know how to mute his phone so that he can beat his head against the desk, and I do have genuine sympathy for him here. He was doing what a good teacher would do, and in the process, he found himself confronted with feelings for another adult, but that adult was not only fairly younger but also his student.

He just didn’t want to give an F to a student who had potential but refused to utilise it, and now, he’s fallen hard.

Jae Hyun teases about how he might still not turn his poem in, and Yeong II is all, don’t even joke about that, you will turn it in.

Next scene, he’s semi-frantically going through the turned in papers to see if Jae Hyun’s is there. It is, and further, it’s a love poem. It’s a confession.

The first is obvious even to someone like me, but I’m not sure if he realises the second or not.

Leaving, he sees Jae Hyun outside with a friend, but before he can make his presence known, he hears them discussing him. At his friend’s questioning of all the time spent with Yeong II, Jae Hyun claims all the time spent with the professor is just to get a good grade, and he makes a bet he can get an A.

During the night, puppy Jae Hyun is excited about the view, and he asks why Yeon II called him.

I’m wondering if Yeong II actually texted him instead.

Giving the phone back, Yeong II says Jae Hyun is getting an A+, and also, goodbye forever.

I don’t think Yeong II would give the grade if he didn’t think Jae Hyun deserved it, but there’s definitely an element of, here, I’m giving you what you want, you don’t need to keep doing this. Giving the phone back furthers this. It was a true gift. Jae Hyun never even teased he should get a higher grade in exchange for it, but it’s tainted now.

So, Yeong II is giving it back. You got what you wanted, I know the truth of why you gave this to me, and knowing the truth, I’d rather not have it. I’ll give you what you want for my own reasons, but I won’t let myself be used a second time.

Of course, Jae Hyun is confused and suddenly hurt.

It always gets me when another character asks a variation of, “Did I do something wrong?” I almost always feel bad for them, but also- in an actual romantic relationship or friendship, if a person’s reaction to you doing something wrong is to just abruptly end things, then, maybe, you’re better off without them.

Followed by this, though, is if his poem upset Yeong II, and I definitely feel for Jae Hyun here. Whether good or not, he was fine with getting an F in a class where the main draw was just getting to be around this one person (while other people were around, too). Then, he got to spend time with his crush outside of class. He wrote what I’m assuming is a semi-decent poem, again, I don’t think Yeong II would give such a high grade if it weren’t deserved, and this poem was also him not quite shooting his shot but definitely putting his heart out there in case Yeong II happened to decide to pick it up.

And now, it’s like, why couldn’t you have just given me the F and let me continue to silently pine in a sea of people? Why’d you have to insist on me putting myself out there just for you to not like what you see, not like me, when I do?

It could have all ended here, but maybe hoping for some sort of closure, maybe just wanting to make sure everything was fully severed and they both knew it, or maybe just not being the type to leave things half-done, Yeong II says, “It’s such a small college.” He reveals how he heard the conversation.

And it’s subtle, but I really like how Jae Hyun takes all this in and reacts.

Insistent it’s not what Yeong II thinks, he’s nevertheless much less upset.

Getting up, he physically blocks Yeong II from leaving, and when Yeong II desperately begs to be left a little bit of dignity for himself by ordering, “Don’t be rude to an old man,” Jae Hyun gets a little irritated by the age gape being brought up.

“Who do you think you are,” Yeong II demands.

Here’s the answer:

“You want to quit your job?” He explains, if his friend knows something, like say, he has a massive crush on his professor, then, everyone else will soon know it. Going further, though, “Are you okay if my friends find out the truth? ‘Cause, I don’t care. If you’re fine, I can tell everybody that we’re in a relationship.”

Of course, uneasy, confused, a little frightened, Yeong II is all, We’re not.

They weren’t a few minutes ago.

I love this. The answer is Jae Hyun is Yeong II’s, and now that he knows his feelings are returned, he’s going to make Yeong II his. I’m fine with keeping things private until this won’t majorly disrupt your life, but knowing you feel the same, we’re now in a relationship. You do not get a say in the last part, only in the part whether other people are allowed to know or not at this point in time.

Naturally, though, Yeong II is a bit shell-shocked by all this, and exasperated but determined, Jae Hyun makes it clear he’ll be a guide when necessary. Whether he’s ever been in a relationship before or not, it’s intuitive for him to act on his feelings as opposed to more reserved, self-contained Yeong II.

There is one point where I wish the translation was clearer. He says Yeong II doesn’t know, “how to do to someone you love.”

Is it supposed to be what to do with someone you love? Is it supposed to be how to do someone, which, doesn’t have to be sexual but such phrasing usually does have such conations?

Moving on, he gets Yeong II to close his eyes, and he gives simple peck to the lips.

And when, after reopening his eyes, Yeong II doesn’t run away or insist this is a mistake, they share a proper kiss.

When they walk off together, Yeong II lets Jae Hyun take his hand, and Jae Hyun asks if he can sleep over at Yeong II’s house tonight. Heh.

One thing I found interesting is the film is almost entirely from Yeong II’s POV, but Jae Hyun’s feelings are much clearer, to the audience, at least, than Yeong II’s. It’s obvious fairly early that Jae Hyun has a big crush, but it’s not until about half-way in or later that it’s shown Yeong II requites these feelings.

#private lessons strongberry

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years

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🗣Tues 15 Dec ‘20🙊

Anyone order their daily with EXTRA DISCOURSE today? Lucky you, I guess, I'd send it back to the kitchen if I had the option but this is more a 'you'll take what you get and like it' kind of establishment so here we are! EAT UP we got Liam and Lou Teasdale making everyone mad, Louis and Harry's teams forgetting they're supposed to be mortal enemies, and Zayn?? Getting papped?? Omg is Z3 really coming this time? I've been burned so many times before (flown too close to the sun) but what if....... So first Gigi and zaby stroller were papped, then Zayn was papped in his usual way-- 'if you can get a good picture of me in the seconds it takes me to walk from my front door to the car have at it, that's exactly all you get'-- and then a fan reported seeing Zigi and zaby at a pizza restaurant. Zayn's hair is bleached white blond and that's about all I can tell you except that Z NEVER gets papped (or spotted really) for nothing so I am excite!!

Liam's back! He did the postponed-from-last-Tues hour long live for Stand Up To Cancer (and raised $16k!) and he's got a show in two days so I'd say his extremely brief breather is probably done with, whether he got the time he needed to be happy about coming back or not. He seems in good shape for the live though, even if he does say “its been a really long day, you don't even know, REALLY long” and that what he wants most for Christmas is “to have a little bit of time to reflect.” But he says he is going to take some time out and go away and write music “for the first time in a very long time,” in the new year, nice! He mentions how he went up to Sweden for recording recently and says it ”went really well I'm really really excited” about the new music and, uhhh, “got something sent through from Mick Fleetwood while I was over in Sweden writing, some guitar stuff, which was amazing, and he was dressed like santa at the time!” I...what??? I'll just... leave that there?? About other bands, he says that he's become a big fan of the Wanted over time, that “someone Zayn-ed out,” of Little Mix but “Zayn left for pretty much the same reasons and I do feel for them,” and “are 5SOS still together? Did they pull an us I thought they pulled an us?” He said yes, it's so great about Louis' show, and “it was great, and do you know what, like listening through those lyrics, it’s really nice to hear the truth in his music because obviously I mean I know all of the full story about him, and [pause].. and uh... his relationship with his girlfriend and whatever else,” SKLDYSSKKJ.

This long live also had him responding to screen comments he would usually ignore (though thank GOD he only reads but doesn't answer 'what happened with Niall in Japan' please tell me the questioner wasn't trying to get him to comment on the 'violently masturbating' story), anyway so we got Liam on touching his hair if larry is real-- “of course that's not going to happen don't be silly,” and on whether he thinks 'larry is disrespectful' “sometimes I do... actually that's not true, all the time I do.” Well he's not wrong though I'd expand that to 'all the fans' but if I had to wade through a million “touch your nose if larry is real” comments every time I was promoting my own material, for ten years, I'd probably get tetchy too! He didn't say it was or wasn't real, as he himself pointed out he never WILL do that for REASONS; tbh I'm with Liam can people PLEASE stop being so embarrassing on main and let him live? ANYWAY, moving on, his Advent Alarm clock today is the sleep story edited down to be just Liam laughing for like 30 seconds, aka the exact edit that I suggested they should make a couple weeks ago, which I find frankly extremely alarming (ALARMing HA) are they... listening to me?? Well if Liam's management are looking for ideas BOY HAVE I GOT SOME FOR THEM hit me up fellas PLEASE.

Harry and Louis both announced further postponements of their UK and Europe tour shows, like really the same announcement and just fully back to back, I can only assume that after weeks of intensive hashing out to match up dates their teams have arrived at some kind of plan and were like cool let's announce! Louis has added some new shows, while Harry's new schedule is undisclosed as yet. Harry says “I really hope to play these shows and will have news for you in the new year on when they will take place.” Louis' new dates include previously omitted countries (Iceland! Austria!), and those tickets go on sale Friday. Harry did not respond to Rob Sheffield's awkward attempt to link Watermelon Sugar and WAP as being similar but he did like Megan Thee Stallion's post celebrating her successful year, and Vulture ranked Adore You in its top 5 videos of the year with a much better take on what Harry is all about, saying that it “highlights one of the singer’s best traits: his willingness to be delightfully weird.” Kid Harpoon said that he and Harry “wrote a song in Japan that may yet see the light of the day,” and Harry continues to roast him, disputing his songwriter of the year award-- “they found 8,000,000 opposing ballots in a bin behind his house! FRAUD!”

And last but most discourse-y-est of all, The Sun made waves today, pulling the most salacious parts of a Lou Teasdale interview with the Sex, Lies and DM Slides podcast from last week and bringing it to wider attention. In the interview she talked at length about systemic discrimination against women working in the music industry and her own work experiences, which naturally include (very briefly) touching on her highest profile job- the years she spent traveling with 1D. In this context she says “you kind of can’t sleep with them [the band]- it’s quite important to keeping your job... some people would come in and like you know assistants and stuff and I think they would really think... that it was love and obviously it’s not,” and “it’s just the quickest way to lose your job- because then they’ve got a new girlfriend and she’s there and they don’t want you in the room.” She did not sell her story to The Sun she mentioned this in passing as part of an interview about her work experiences; she herself says, “I didn’t do an interview [with] the sun. I’ve never done that. I did a podcast with friends about loads of things.”

There is nothing remotely unlikely in this story, either in the concept that members of the band slept with girls casually (we know that certain of them did and there isn't even anything wrong with that in a situation of consent, the denial of it is as bizarre as scribbling out the beer bottle in a 28 year old man's hand), or that low level members (“assistants and stuff”) of the 150 person+ crew appeared and disappeared on a regular basis. The band were, to my guess, probably simply not paying very much attention to the serious ramifications of this carelessness and the consequences rather than demanding that people be fired, but I do very much hope they've learned over the years to be responsible for the kind of power that they have over other peoples' lives (something I really doubt they understood the extent of yet as very young people being dragged from one place to another who felt powerless themselves).

#liam payne #harry styles #louis tomlinson #zayn #lou teasdale #listen: people talk about wanting the 1D tell all but I don't think you guys do want it at all tbh #you know the whole point of that is that it will destroy the 'perfect angels' front that was created around the boys?#loving and supporting someone even though you know they are imperfect and flawed is not something to be ashamed of though #so I say bring it on #Liam has SO MANY reasons to be cranky right now and coming back online to everyone clamoring for him to comment #on Louis' record breaking veeps stream... honestly think it through?? have some fucking tact #Liam also said Freddie and Bear facetime which is just such clear nonsense I have no comment he just wants to make people happy #I DON'T KNOW if the Mick Fleetwood thing is real like – he seems dead serious??? I think it's serious?#How fucking Liam is that right he is as ever the most unrealistic I'm bringing back that tag:#Liam is a Gary Sue #Zaayyyyn is Z3 coming??? listen may I suggest sir-- LIVEZTREAM??? PLEASE?#I know you won't tour and wouldn't want you to but just consider how PERFECT this would be?? PLEASE SIR #lost in the shuffle: Lou Teasdale also addressed the old quote about keeping the 1D boys from looking 'too feminine'#(assumed to be @harry) saying 'it’s taken totally out of context. A clip from male grooming interview talking about grooming men.#I have no problem with men wearing make up or looking feminine it’s my profession. I apologise it sounds like that here.'#I feel like the truth is somewhere in between but I very much doubt she- the MUA- had final say over their images #and might well have not been the only thing standing between harry and his nail art and eyebrow grooming #I don't like her but like- dislike her for better reasons!#There are plenty she's very annoying but talking about sexism in the workplace and telling her story isn't one of them #Liam said he was very drunk watching Louis' show #I have a lot of things I'd like to say to Liam's management but mostly not publicly and some of them very rude #but I will say that while I guess the acknowledgement that young girls are the real drivers of the music industry and should be courted is #cool the continued obsession with only marketing these guys to that demographic was always ridiculous #and gets worse every year and Liam's team is simply throwing away money and fans by not marketing him so hard (heh) to out gay men #long post

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asterocky · 3 years

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Hi, I actually had some more questions, lol. Thank you for answering the last one about Eunwoo and his relationship with the boys.

What happened to Moonbin, he took some time off and it seems like people don’t think it was a shoulder injury, but rather that he needed some time off for his mental health?

I was also wondering what happened to their last management or team? I saw Eunwoo speaking out again about how they were treated? What did their last team do or not do? I don’t remember his exact words but it was something to do with their company.

hello there again!! ^^ it was my pleasure, feel free to shoot any other questions you might have. sorry i'm a bit late with this answer, i was thinking through what to say.

regarding moonbin's hiatus.

i believe that fantagio never said anything concrete - they just said moonbin went to a check up and the doctors advised him to rest and get treatment. so no particular health concern was mentioned, so i can't give you a concrete answer. the mental health narrative might have come from some vlives moonbin did, since he was very vulnerable and obviously not in a good place mentally before blue flame era (like this one or the general conversations they had during their gateway era win vlive). i wish i could give you a more concrete answer, but unfortunately i was not too active since i work full time, so there might have been something concrete said by moonbin about his mental health after blue flame era once he came back. since the fantagio issues happened, astro developed a habit of going to aroha whenever something is bothering them. hopefully someone else can give a more concrete answer.

fantagio issues.

there's a lot to discuss here. i will try to shorten the entire situation the best to my ability but i did follow the subject closely and if you want to read into it more, feel free to go into eliot's fantagio update tag (i suggest starting from this post if you want to get into details). meanwhile i roughly summarized the situation below.

so fantagio music is a subsidiary of fantagio entertainment. and fantagio entertainment a few years back was owned by this chinese corporation jc group (they were the majority shareholders, which means that they had the majority vote during shareholder meetings). one day allegations came out in news portals that:

the board of fantagio dismissed the co-ceo and founder of fantagio na byeongjun. wei jie, who was the ceo of jc group, was instated as the new ceo;

the corporation credit cards were taken away from the staffs, so most of the activities fantagio's actors and idols had were funded out of the pocket of the staffs and idols. rumors circulated that astro and weki meki ended up paying for their fans' meals during isac out of pocket, too;

jc group was pooling the money fantagio made to an unrelated hong kong company also owned by the group;

fantagio organized a crisis meeting and settled with 9 demands for jc group, which included reinstatement of the former ceo amongst other things, as most worried that since jc group is pooling whatever fantagio makes into a hong kong company, that jc group will start selling their artists for profit.

(this is why moonbin always says he's the oldest standing fantagio member, idols and staffs included - the ceo was not reinstated and many staff, including astro's manager, left the company)

so staffs were fired and replaced by jc group (they have nothing to de with entertainment btw) staff. it should be noted that wei jie became ceo of fantagio entertainment, but not fantagio music. at the time, fantagio music's ceo was woo youngseung, so aside from the company card limitations, the artists weren't affected that much. however, all hell broke loose when jc group fired woo youngseun and wei jie (i believe) became the ceo. that was the exact moment fantagio music started operating illegally, as based on south koren laws, the ceo of an operating entertainment company has to have a certain entertainment license and ceratin experience. the new ceo was not registered in the korean entertainment management association, which was also a problem. at this point there was no choice but to stop all idols' and actors' activities because everyone that was under contract with fantagio entertainment, which did not have the required licence, would also be considered to be operating illegally. basically everyone under fantagio was forced into a hiatus because of all of the shit jc group caused because of their incompetence.

then the korean entertainment management association reached out to an illegally operating fantagio and gave them 45 days to appoint a new ceo with the relative registration and experience or fantagio will be removed from the association entirely. with all that happening, actors started going through court to terminate their contracts with fantagio. in general there were many uncertainties with the artists under the company, some news portals going so far as to say that "fantagio has no future".

for a while, fantagio (jc group) threatened their actors who went against them (terminating contracts) with court and ignored any korean entertainment association complaints and lied to press that they WERE operating legally. however, many contradicting articles came our and entertainment associations publicly announced that memebers of the associations (which is basically most of the korean entertainment industry) are banning fantagio and basically no one within the association will be working with them.

but then karma came to bite in the ass and the main vilan wei jie who was the ceo was arrested for illegal funding activities (which probably includes the before-mentioned cash pool in an unrelated hong kong company situation). also, the former kbs ceo was appointed as a new fantagio music ceo. a bit later the second main vilan of this story - jc group - sold their ownership of fantagio back to this other shareholder l&a holdings (i believe, don't quote me on this)! which was highly celebrated because fantagio became it's own company again. later fantagio did have a dispute with l&a holdings, but it was nothing too major.

as of today the company is fairly stable and doing well, the largest sources of income being ong seongwoo, astro and cha eunwoo. recently, there has been a dismissal of the management once more and a new management for fantagio music was instated. everyone had war flashbacks for a moment got scared. but it turns out the new management seems eager to put their people out there, as right after the announcement of the new management, astro announced their astro x aroha festival, comeback and all members finally had their own schedules to attend to. and right now all of astro seem to be working on something as the management cleared their schedules, also we got astro zone - to put it simply, we had not seen so much activity from astro for a while so this new management brings hope. also, fantagio was said to be getting more funding and expanding more into acting industries (i think they released more shares, too, which usually means expansion of the company), the financials of fantagio for 2020 have been the best in comparison to the last three years. so as of right now, we can be happy it's in the past and look forward to what fantagio can bring in the future.

also, it's worth mentioning that astro stayed really strong throughout the period and whenever we expressed worry about them, they always tried to calm us down and say that everything is okay and they're doing well. however, once the whole thing was over astro came out with always you, lyrics of which express just how NOT OKAY astro were throughout the fantagio issues and how hard it was behind closed doors, the song dedicated to the fandom. they were very emotional and open about what happened, a lot of fans left throughout the period (as they were on hiatus for a year basically) and astro ended up thanking the ones that stayed with them. there's also this video from astro star light where each member shares a little bit about what went through their minds, from uncertanties, fright and feeling thrown out.

#fantagio #fantagio crisis #moonbin #astro

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mutantmayhem2023 · 3 years

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i only trust u w this question so WHAT are your top kanera songs. no limit whatsoever

oh my gosh this may just be the greatest ask i’ve ever gotten. for starters, here’s the link to my actual kanera playlist that is my absolute pride and joy <3

1. ALL THE STARS by KENDRICK LAMAR & SZA

this is the first track on their playlist and for a GOOD reason. the lyrics in this just work so well. ludwig’s score & the strings in the background also sell that old & new / past & present vibe that kanan and hera both have.

love, let’s talk about love / is it anything and everything you hoped for? / or do the feeling haunt you? / i know the feeling haunt you

+ what goes together better than loving & haunting & kanera? the answer is nothing. they perfected it.

2. IT GETS BETTER by REX ORANGE COUNTY

this one of my favourite lovey dovey songs because it’s written so personally?? it’s talking about a real love & one that makes you in the process a better person and i don’t really think that could fit them any better. kanan just loves her, okay?

she changed the world, i know / and it’s better for it / four years later, and look where we really are / look how far we’ve come / look at us now

+ special points bc it mentions flying too (we’re flying i finally know / I’m here for a reason) & like????

3. LETS GET MARRIED by BLEACHERS

legally i had to put this song bc they’re space married. it’s just so happy???? and honestly, that’s what they deserve and i refuse to believe anything else. i am still on the first stage of grief.

cause we don’t wanna walk alone / or run away / change me at all costs / starlight and star-crossed / take me so breathless / we could be reckless

+ also the line it’s hard enough to love me???? that’s them. no further explanation needed your honour.

4. ¡QUE BONITO! by ROSARIO

so this song is very near & dear to me because latino kanera rights. also the lyrics just about undo me. this is the english translation but the song is in espanõl tho.

that my body doesn't stop noticing / that your soul is always with me / and that, from me, it will never depart

+ it also mentions flying too (how beautiful it would be to be able to fly / and next to you) like hello pilot and her co-pilot who’d follow her anywhere !!!!!!!!

5. COOL ON FIRE by DANIEL JOHNS

this one very much gives me the vibes about them being separated for most of the time from the end of s2 and throughout a lot of s3. like being so in love and having to like. put it to the side out of duty both to kanan’s teachings and hera’s duty to the rebellion.

i get higher / you keep getting better and i’m trying / but i can’t see nothing else / cause together, nothing matters / we’re on fire / cool on fire

+ we love fire symbolism & hera as the cool & kanan as the fire is uh. que rico.

6. IT ONLY TAKES A MOMENT by MICHAEL CRAWFORD & MARIANNE MCANDREW

i like to think about this song as like, right after their first kiss maybe or just like reminiscing about it. idk. it just fits. trust me. i had to put one overly romantic musical theatre song on here so uh. here it is.

and that is all that loves about / and we’ll recall when time runs out / that it only took a moment / to be loved / a whole lifelong

+ to think, it is a love that went beyond one lifetime. i am going to breakdown and cry now.

7. THE MOMENT I SAID IT by IMOGEN HEAP

so, it’s them so i had to add one sad song. this is very much the j*di n*ght song. like kanan KNEW. he KNEW what was going to happen and i personally think hera will think about that for as long as she lives, even when it’s all been forgiven and accepted.

but darling, you’re not thinking straight / suddenly things just happened, we can’t explain / it’s not even light out / but you’ve got somewhere to be / no hesitation, no / i’ve never seen you like this

+ thank u imogen heap for understanding emotions and making it into music so brilliantly. i am hurting.

seven songs for their little crew of seven. hope u like them and my past midnight absolute wild explanations <3

#hera syndulla #kanan jarrus #kanera #kaneraposting #star wars rebels #star wars #music #answered #i just spent the last hour and twenty minutes doing this wow #there’s also almost four hours worth of songs on that playlist so there is so many more songs omg

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 3 years

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🌹 - ɟ

Hiii babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 You know how it works by now. These are the answers to the asks Mari/Stuck sent me. And happy Valentine’s Day to you all!! 🌹🌹 Enjoy 🙃

A lot of people have been interested in them, dear Anon. From managers, to publicists, to sponsors, partnerships, producers, etc., etc. and no, it was never a problem between them. That’s part of their job.

No, dear Anon. Camila and Ashlee are best friends. Ash ships/ped Camren. She has helped them a lot of times. I know why you thought this. Just as I know it may seem that Ash takes advantage of Camila because she created a lot of videos with her, made two songs about her, and brings her up at every opportunity, but it’s not what it seems. Do you have any idea how hard it is to try to emerge as an artist in that world? Do you have any idea how many artists there are out there that you’ll never hear about because they’ll never make it to the top? Why do you know Ashlee? Thanks to 5H. Without having been their guitarist, you wouldn’t even know she existed. The fans that Juno has, are Harmonizers/Camilizers and some that she managed to make herself afterwards.

Ash is a real friend to our Mila. She has helped her more times than we could ever know, even by leaving the tour to help her friend. And Camila’s the same for her. Did you know that on June 13, 2020, in the face of the Black Lives Matter Movement she helped Ashlee sponsor a free scholarship for 20 black students to participate in the JUNO’s Guitar Bootcamp to help them create more opportunities in that field in their future? [Diana Foster, who I believe is her girlfriend or a great friend of hers anyway, also helped] Why on earth would Camila willingly help someone who ‘presumably’ would be taking advantage of her friendship? May I suggest you go watch one of the last videos they have together in Camila’s backstage? It dates back to 2019. Go watch it, dear Anon, and tell me if you don’t get an automatic smile on your lips.

Forgive me, Anon, with all due respect speaking, but what are you saying? “Camila has made mistakes (she has not been the best girlfriend possible)?” Are you for real? What are you talking about? Camila made her mistakes, but so did Lauren. So why are you only pointing the finger at Camila? Did you pay attention to their story? Did you hear/see what Lauren said on the podcast? Have you ever listened to their songs WELL? Because apparently, you didn’t. A couple is made up of two people and mistakes are made by two, not just by one.

No, dear Anon. Closer was never a song of hers in the first place, let alone one she could sell. The Chainsmokers wanted her in the song. She recorded a rough demo for them and then turned it down. I know that when she turned it down and they passed it on to Halsey, she wrote and contributed to some of the lyrics (she appears as a songwriter in the credits), so I believe she wrote those in the place of the ones Mila wrote in her version, but I’m not sure. I don’t know if Camila had the time to write her part like Ashley (Halsey) did, or if she directly recorded the demo as she did with The Middle. Until it’s leaked, we won’t have an answer.

The fact is that Closer was simply a project that was proposed to her when she was still in 5H and that she turned down because 7/27 was about to come out. Just as she declined to participate in Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood music video for them (5H). And I still wonder how the haters still consider her a bitch 🙄🙄

Ligas, or hair bands, or también se dice colitas, verdad? Or hair ties as I like to call them, were originally Lauren’s. Lauren had two on her wrist at X-Factor and then, magically, one ended up on Camila’s wrist. I personally think that was their first symbol, but of friendship. And no, dear Anon, they didn’t replace the rings. The rings didn’t yet exist at that time. If the rings were one of their symbols of love, the hair ties were symbols of friendship, at least in the beginning.

P.S. dear Anon, I would like that as soon as you finish reading this post, you’d type ‘garters’ on Google and click directly on images 🤣 I really, REALLY, love you for this, believe me 😉❤️

I watched all the interviews held in Spain in 2015 and you can see the differences, dear Anon. The two interviews with Revista Bravo and the one with Vodafone Yu are more or less normal. There’s tension between all of them because the big mess had recently happened. But in Alyson’s one with NSP PROJECTS and the one with LOS40 in which Alyson is in as well… Gosh… Your second question is my answer, dear Anon. Yes, they broke up, but that was even before they went to Europe.

As for your last question, on the one hand, I think she was single, attracted to the interviewer, and that she didn’t have to be accountable to anyone because being single, she could do whatever she wanted. But on the other hand, I think it may have been done on purpose for revenge since they’ve always played these jealousy games. I don’t think she managed to control herself though. It shows in both of those interviews, although it’s much more evident in the one with NSP PROJECTS. I don’t think she really realized the gravity of what she was doing because she was too wrapped up in Alyson and too busy in impressed her than everything else. I don’t think she noticed, at least not during the interviews, how hurt Lauren was.

I don’t want to tell you yes or no if her behavior was correct or not, simply because I don’t know if she did it because as I said she was single and didn’t have to answer to anyone, or if she did it out of revenge because she wanted Laur to be jealous. My instinctive response would be that it wasn’t corrected because of the effect it had on Laur who was also going through the dark diary period, but I don’t really know why Mila did what she did. She may have had her reasons, and maybe knowing them, my answer would be different, or the same. I don’t know because I don’t know the reasons behind this. Lauren has done a lot of things in the past that have hurt Camila, and Camila has done a lot of things in the past that have hurt Lauren. They’ve hurt each other many times. Sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. So I prefer to abstain because, at least in this case, I don’t feel like judging something I don’t know. Much less point the finger.

Hi @ camilalauren0327 😄👋🏼 yeah, writing is therapeutic for them, as it is for many other people, myself included. Dancing was for me as well. Many people find it therapeutic to play sports, others find it in various forms of art, etc., etc.

I don’t know if Camren did couples therapy 🤷🏻‍♀‍ I think if they really did it, they did it after 5H.

Doctors of all kinds, and therefore also psychologists, consultants, therapists, psychiatrists, etc. are bound by the federal law HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act). Many therapists themselves indeed, prefer to establish confidentiality limits even before starting therapy. For example, the fact that they’re required to maintain therapy content is established regardless, but with you, they can determine who they can contact with your written permission, or if they can’t contact anyone. If YOU client prefer it, you can also establish that outside those four walls, you’re not really in therapy and that therefore if you meet your therapist in a supermarket, for example, they’ll pretend not to know you and will not acknowledge you at all in order to protect your client-therapist confidentiality. So, at the end of the day, it really depends on you and what you establish with your therapist.

This, however, is sometimes not enough for celebrities. Those who really, but really care about privacy and don’t want to take risks, require their therapist to also sign an NDA as a backup and reinforcement plan, so that it covers everything, including sections that HIPAA doesn’t administer.

Both, dear @camilalauren0327, and hi again 👋🏼😊 In the Consequences video and on the day of Say You Won’t Let Go she was paying tribute to Lauren and to the old Camila. For Consequences, that was one of the many symbols we find in the video that served as a clue. For Say You Won’t Let Go it was yes a tribute to Lauren and to old Camila, but it was more of a message for her. The song was for her, the bow was for her, and the rose on her pants was for her. It was like: “Hey, I’m still here. I’m still me. See the bow? See the rose? The song? It’s all for you. The title of the song already speaks for itself. Let’s try again”. That was indeed still the period of rapprochement between them. As for the other times she wore it, and I remember that she even wore it around her neck on more than one occasion, it was for style.

Sure thing, dear Anon 🙃 Curious is a song discarded from the album Camila, and I don’t know if you’ll like my interpretation, dear Anon, because this song is not about Lauren (for me).

Verse 1

“I lose myself when you start talkin’

There’s something riveting about you, it’s got me confused”

Camila finds this girl so fascinating, that not only does she gets lost when she talks, but it also makes her confused. Confused because she didn’t think another girl could have this effect on her while her mind was always on Lauren. And yes, girl. It’s not the first time that Camila has had to mask this in her songs.

“If we went back to your apartment

Would you be a gentleman and a bad boy too?”

She’s provocative here. She’s literally provoking and teasing the girl: “Could you be sweet and at the same time rough enough to slamming me against the wall?” If you know what I mean…

Pre-Chorus

“I know you think, I’m innocent

Little do you know where my mind has been?”

When you see Camila in videos and interviews, you’re hit by her energy 80% of the time. She’s this cute and goofy and clumsy and dorky ball of bubbly energy that cracks a smile from you all the time. She’s funny with her lame jokes that however always make you laugh, and most of the time, you see her in this innocent light. And it’s true. She looks like this innocent little bean that must be protected at all costs. But we also know that she’s far from innocent. And here, that’s what she’s telling the girl: “If you knew what I’ve been thinking about you, about us, about what I want to happen, you’d understand that I’m not that innocent after all.”

“I don’t have much experience

Could you relieve me of my ignorance?”

The only sexual experience Camila had had up to that point, had been with Lauren. So unlike this girl, Camila had only had one partner, and she’s telling her just that: “I don’t have much experience as you do. Could you help me out?”

“It’s true (It’s true, it’s true)

Been wondering about you”

Here she’s basically questioning whether the expectation equals the reality.

Chorus

“I’m just cu—, I’m just curious

What you do, just got the two of us

Hit me down, take me up

Can you teach me how to love?

I’m just curious”

She’s telling her that what they do in private between them, will stay between the two of them. And then… Ahem-Ahem! *Throat clearing* I’m really trying to hold back as much as possible here guys… If I hadn’t received complaints in the past about some of the answers I gave in other posts, I wouldn’t have had any kind of problem explaining exactly what she says sentence by sentence, but I’ll just limit myself by saying that she’s asking her to teach her to be more expert on the subject matter.

Post-Chorus

“Dum, dum-dum-dum

You got me feeling

Dum, dum-dum-dum

You got me feeling”

This girl makes her feel in a certain type of way that Camila herself refrains from saying what she really wants to say. Still if you know what I mean…

Verse 2

“I’m kinda nervous but I like it (Yeah)”

Because it’s a good kind of nervous. An exciting kind of nervous.

“Will you live up to the image that I got of you?”

Again. As I said before, she’s basically asking if the expectation equals the reality.

“You’re not usually my type, yeah

I think that that might be the reason that I’m here with you (Oh, oh)”

And this, speaks for itself. Who’s Camila’s type? With whom is she making the comparison? Who does she have in mind to justify her actions? She’s there with this girl because her type is who?

Before I wrap up, I want to explain to you why this song has nothing of Lauren for me. So I’m going to rewrite some pieces of the song to debunk it’s about Lauren.

“If we went back to your apartment”

Lauren didn’t have an apartment yet. She wasn’t living alone yet. 5H had two apartments that they shared together in the months of recording, and for the rest, they lived constantly in hotels. This girl (older than her) had an apartment.

“I know you think, I’m innocent”

Lauren and Camila had already had sex. Hello? Since the Like Friends Do situation. So she’s not talking about Lauren because she already knew Camila wasn’t innocent.

“I don’t have much experience”

Again. Experience she’d precisely had with Laur.

“Been wondering about you”

She had to wonder about Lauren if she had already been with her sexually? What would have been the sense?

“What you do, just got the two of us”

If she was really talking about Lauren, this would’ve been a big bullshit because there were people who knew about them. The ones closest to them for sure. Like DNA. DNA knew about them right from the start and lived their story basically along with them. Not to mention that they heard them on more than one occasion. Hell, even we heard them thanks to that takeover.

“You’re not usually my type”

Definitely not Lauren! Isn’t Lauren Camila’s type? In which universe?

“I think that that might be the reason that I’m here with you”

Exactly! This girl, whether it was physically or of character, wasn’t like Lauren.

Aaand these are the reasons why I’m 100% sure this song is not about Lauren, dear Anon.

Of course I can, dear Anon 😄

Cleopatra is a song discarded from the album Camila, and created during The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving. era. C ended Something’s Gotta Give in mid-March 2017 and we know it was the last song of The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving. era before the album name changed to Camila, so Cleopatra was finished before that.

Verse

“Ridin’ ‘round town in the backseat

Looking like the real deal

Looking real, real, real

Spent so long cuttin’ my teeth

Thought you were the real deal

But it wasn’t real, real, real, uh”

Camila is in the back of a car and, you know how sometimes you find yourself spacing out and thinking about something in those moments? Maybe by looking out the window but not really looking because you’re thinking about that something? It can be something trivial or something important, and in Camila’s case, in this case specifically, she’s overthinking about her relationship with Lauren. They had clearly broken up, and Camila is thinking about how she believed L was the real deal.

With ‘cuttin’ my teeth’ she used a slang to indicate that she learned something early in her life. The slang of cut my/your/her/his/their teeth was born in reference to the exit of the teeth from a baby’s gums and consequently indicates a first experience. So, here she means that she spent too much time learning the ropes believing for real that Lauren was for her, and then realize that she wasn’t.

[Don’t be discouraged and keep in mind that in this case, they were passing thoughts because she was definitely angry, bitter, and sad. We all are after a fight or a breakup with a partner. Besides, we all know that L is the love of her life. Think of songs like Never Be the Same (It’s you, babe), All These Years ('Cause after all these years, I still feel everything when you are near), Taxy (The greatest love story that’s never been told), and many others up to one of the ‘most recent’ ones: Anyone (You are the only one I’ll ever love) 😉]

Pre-Chorus

“Every night it was a different fight

It was a different girl

It was a different lie, ooh-ooh

Every night it was a different fight

It was a different girl

It was a different lie, ooh”

Aaaand back at it again with their communication problems. Even if she has generalized a lot here, she still makes us understand the essence of the problem.

Chorus

“I think I kinda wanna cut my hair like I’m

I’m Cleopatra”

When people move on or try to move on after a breakup, what do they usually do? They look for a change. They want to separate themselves from their past selves, of the ones they were when they were in a relationship with the person they broke up with, and they seek a change, aka self-improvement. Most of the time visual, and therefore physical. This change is seen as a new beginning, a new chapter in their life where they want to feel good again. They want to feel attractive. And this is how self-innovation begins. Some go on a diet, others change their style and wardrobe, and then there’s what many see as a rite of passage: a new haircut.

Camila in this case used Cleopatra’s cut as a metaphor for the change she wanted to make about herself. Cleopatra is one of the most famous known queens in the world. Strong, intelligent, powerful, and that radiates charm in everyone since ever. But Camila isn’t talking about Cleopatra the person. She’s talking about her haircut. Cleopatra’s cut in this case is a symbol of power and freedom for Camila. Remember how I said earlier that Camila finished Something’s Gotta Give in mid-March and that she finished this song before that? Well, although this song talks about 2015, it was made in 2017. And guess what happened in that same period? Camila cut her hair by getting bangs. To be precise, it happened on March 31, 2017 (picture + caption: “joined the bang club now”). Coincidence? Yeah, sure, I don’t think so. Plus, although she used it as a metaphor, Camila has actually always wanted a Cleopatra cut, thing that, if you think about it, she now has for real. [Oh, oh and, rumor has it that Cleopatra was bisexual as was 100% Julius Caesar🤫🤭]

“Wanna dance on cars

And forget it all after

Skip these sad love songs cause I

Need something faster and now baby

Kinda think I’m ready”

The freedom I was saying before? (Cleopatra’s cut in this case is a symbol of power and freedom for Camila) She talks about it here. She used the wanting to dance on cars and the skipping sad love songs as figurative expressions of the freedom she wanted to feel, and that she wanted to feel fast because there was gonna be no crying in the club this time. 🤣🤣🤣 Sorry, dear Anon, I had to 😝 No but, seriously though. She just wanted to shed the past and move on right away because she was ready. And she was also ready for the power part I referred to earlier that she explains here:

Post-Chorus

“Needed to be all eyes on me

Baby all eyes on me, ooh

That’s what I want

Needed to be all eyes on me

Baby all eyes on me, ooh

That’s what I want, yeah”

Now. Now, now, now, now, now, now, now. We have a double interpretation here. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: Camila is a fucking genius. And being the fucking genius lyricist that she is, she used a double meaning here to let everyone interpret this part as they please. The double interpretation is so well hidden, that people who listen to this song without knowing the details, such as for example knowing something about Camila’s life or the year the song was made, would never know because they wouldn’t even notice.

The first interpretation ties into what she says about wanting to dance on cars in the chorus. That’s also a way of saying she just wants to dance thoughtlessly and have fun, but on cars? It’s a metaphor to say that she wants to do it by drawing everyone’s attention. I want you to picture something now, okay? Picture a party with a bunch of people dancing and drinking, and in the midst of the fun, someone climbs on the hood of a car or a counter or any other high surface to keep dancing. Can you picture what would happen at that moment? Can you picture how all the people there would turn to look at that person and shout, clap, and cheer them on? Now picture the same scenario with a person still climbing on something high, but to announce something. It’s the same thing. It’s the same purpose. Getting on top, getting on top of something, is to automatically draw attention. So the connection that leads us to the first interpretation is: Wanna dance on cars - Needed to be all eyes on me.

The second interpretation, on the other hand, is basically the same as regards wanting attention on her, but with another direction and another chorus sentence. Camila is a singer. She’s a performer. She LOVES to perform. She LOVES the excitement, the adrenaline rush, the anxiety, the nerves, the pressure, and the feeling of shitting herself before entering a stage. She LOVES the almost blinding stage lights, the screams, the cheers, the applause, and all the love from the fans. She LOVES mastering the stage, interacting with the audience, and delivering a show. She sings her heart out and LOVES it when the audience sings back to her. She has so much passion and she’s so fucking good at what she does. Why am I saying all this? Because with this hidden interpretation, Mila refers to her solo debut. Like I said, this song was made in 2017, remember? So the connection that leads us to the second interpretation is: Now baby, kinda think I’m ready - Needed to be all eyes on me. Ready for her debut.

Both indicate the attention and power (feeling of power) that I mentioned earlier that comes with it.

Bridge

“See, see

You right to be that

You bein’, you needin’

See, see

You right to be that

You bein’, you needin'”

This part is cryptic. Since they broke up here, I think she’s just saying that it’s okay. That it’s okay for Lauren to be the way she is and that it’s okay if they’re letting each other go (Yeah, sure, Jan 🤣). No hard feelings. Or at least, that’s my interpretation.

—

Before concluding this post, I’d like to make amends. My friend, the same one I ‘roasted’ in my last post (📄 - ɟ), hey, hi girl 😝 literally shoved her phone in my face a few days ago to show me an ask sent to @emisonme (hi to you too if you’re reading 👋🏼😄) in which I was mentioned. I’d like to apologize to all of you because I made a mistake, although not intentionally. I didn’t know Simon was no longer one of the directors of Simco Limited. I went to check it out and immediately understood why I didn’t know. Because it happened more or less recently (on September 17, 2020) and I hadn’t done a thorough research on the piece of shit since last summer (July) when Syco integrated into Sony.

I got really mad at myself for doing one of the things I hate: giving out wrong information. Camila and Lauren are ‘free’ from Simon, and I put that in quotes because one of the clauses that are in every Simmenthal Cow contract includes not being able to speak ill of him. I’m not kidding. This is a piece of an article from many years ago that is still on the internet today that talks about X Factor contracts: “The contract, which runs for 80 pages, also reportedly states that the rules are enforceable anywhere ‘in the world and solar system’ and that artists may not be critical of the company, ‘including its personnel and, in particular, Simon Cowell’. The contract makes clear no-one can speak badly of X Factor supremo Simon.”

Supremo… Supremo? Like what, the Supreme from American Horror Story (some fans of the series like me here)? Should I start calling him Cordelia? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I could never. I’m sorry Sarah (Paulson) for even giving it the slightest thought, love. I’m deeply ashamed. Sooo, like what? A supremo Super Saiyan (Dragon Ball)? If he clenches his hands into fists and screams, does his hair turn blonde? No, huh? So like what exactly? The supremo asshole? You know what? It doesn’t matter. He’s ridiculous enough per se.

Anyway. Camren are free I hope completely from Simon, but we don’t know yet if the contract ended along with Simon’s exit or if it’s still standing. We’ll see as soon as one of them releases a new song.

Please accept my sincere apologies, guys 🙏🏼 And thank you @emisonme for giving me a great news, albeit indirectly. You’re a real one 😊

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I’m done 🙈 I hope I was helpful in this case too. As usual, I’m always available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 🙃 And as always, I thank Mari for giving me space in her blog and for making this exchange possible, and thanks to you Anons for your asks 🥰

Be kind, to others and to yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

P.S. who wants to be my virtual Valentine? 🌹 🌹 🌹

____

I have to say sorry to F again because this submission should be posted last night and I couldn’t. Thanks for the long ass post F.

Another advice, I closed the inbox for anons as you know and I will open it again in a few days when I don’t be too busy. Save your asks for F anyway, anons!

#submission #f anon #long ass post #valentine answers #sorry for the late post #anon #ask #f answers

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moving-wright-along · 3 years

Text

bury me in your mind

this started as a sort of high school AU but it just turned into a whole nother beast. its a little over 4k words. i apologize in advance. Ticci Toby x a gender neutral reader warnings: mentions of violence and a fuckload of cursing. kinda angsy? but only towards the end

Toby hates high school and he hates every stupid fucker in the whole damn building.

The only exception to his burning hatred is you.

His English class is the only class that keeps Toby sane throughout the day, because it’s the class he gets to sit next to you. People naturally steer away from him once they notice the occasional twitches and jerks of his body, like their tiny brains have an alarm that goes off whenever they see anything that might not be ‘normal’. Toby decided a long time ago that it was probably for the best, and started to avoid everyone else as much as they avoided him. Yet on the first day, you sat beside him without being forced, and with plenty of other seats available.

At first he thinks you’re weird, but you don’t try to talk to him and you don’t flinch or lean away from him when he twitches, so you’re cool in his book.

Toby starts admiring you after about a week into the semester. He’s sitting in his seat, minding his own fucking business because he’s apparently one of the only people in this whole town that can, when some dumbass jock comes up and starts throwing out insults disguised as ‘friendly’ questions about his conditions. Toby immediately has to shove down the urge to sucker punch the idiot in the nose, but he promised his mom to try not to get into fights this year. And hell, he’s a mama's boy at heart still so he’s trying to indulge her. But goddamn is it hard.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” It takes a moment for Toby to register that you were the one that just spoke up.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than insult people over things they can’t control and be fucking annoying? Get a hobby.”

And- Wow, Toby really hopes he’s not as slack jawed as the other guy is, cause he looks like an idiot with his mouth open like that. The guy tries stuttering something out but it's drowned out by several people laughing and a few of the guy's so-called friends jeering him because 'damn dude, the quiet kid just owned your ass’. The teacher steps in and everyone quiets down, their attention thankfully taken off your corner of the room.

Toby has the decency to stutter out a quiet 'thanks’ that you just shrug off. You instantly became way more than just 'cool’ in Toby’s book.

He wants to say so much more than thanks, like how you’re the first person to stand up for him besides his sister in a long time, and how pretty he thinks you are, but he keeps his stupid mouth shut and his head down. The two of you don’t talk again until a few days later.

There’s a substitute teacher that day, but they’re clearly not very good at their job considering the class is way louder than usual. Toby grits his teeth and just tries to focus on his worksheet, resisting the urge to clap his hands over his ears. Every noise- every high pitched laugh, every pencil thrown across the room, every scrapping of chair legs on the floor- seems to send him further towards a total breakdown, every one of his senses completely overloaded. He jumps when he feels a soft poke on his arm. You hold out your other earbud to him.

“Wanna listen?” You ask. He stares blankly for a moment, and he guesses that he waits too long to reply because after a moment you roll your eyes and hold out your hand a little further.

“Come on man, I don’t bite unless I have to.” You smile a little, and it takes him a second to realize you’re joking. He’s quick to react after that.

His heart pounds hard as he takes the earbud from you and jams it into his ear, trying not to think about your fingers brushing together for a split second. He spends the rest of class silently noting the titles and lyrics of songs on your playlist as they pass. He ends up listening to those same songs when he gets home, his mind replaying the encounter over and over.

The two of you could almost be considered friends after that. You share your earbuds with him frequently, you lower your voice and whisper comments or jokes to him occasionally and he always has to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from snickering too loud. At first you only talk about assignments and whatever book your class is reading but soon you’re talking about all kinds of things.

Toby notices a lot of little things about you around this time. You sit a little closer to him than before since your earbuds don’t reach that far, and you spend more time zoning out and doodling in class than you do paying attention. You say you hate english but he’s starting to think you just say that to have something to complain about, because you’re not nearly as bad at it as you claim to be.

Unbeknownst to Toby, you notice things about him too. He shies away when you get a little to close and his breath hitches when you poke at him or whisper to get his attention. Everyone seems weary or even scared of him but you quickly find out that he’s… kind of a dork. He likes to read and loves sci-fi and adventure stories and he blushes when you discover that he likes the occasional romance as well. He talks a lot when you get him going about a topic he enjoys and then gets bashful when he realizes just how long he was talking. He lives close to the woods and he loves being outside and has a strange amount of knowledge about the local flora and fauna. He apologizes too much and keeps his mouth shut tight when other people are around and his voice is naturally kind of soft even though he has a tendency to be louder than he thinks he is.

You like him. He’s sweet.

Toby still struggles with people in other classes and in the halls every-fucking-where else, but at the very least he has English with you.

The year passes quickly. Toby gets you a Christmas gift after the holiday break is over- a pair of new earbuds because you had texted him complaining about your current ones giving out and you feel bad because you didn’t think to get him anything. You buy some random candy since you don’t know what he likes and give it to him the next day and even though you feel like an asshole for not giving him a real gift he smiles at you like it’s the best thing he’s ever received and you silently vow to get him something better for his birthday..

You buy him a box of Valentine's chocolates but chicken out before giving them to him so you just lie and say that you got them from your mom and you share the kind of gross candies in the back of class and try not to let the shame show on your face. He gives you a pink frog plushie with a messed up eye and claims he got it because he thought it would make you laugh and it does. You really wish you’d just given him the stupid box.

You’re getting ready for bed a few days later when you get a text from him. You raise an eyebrow as you cross the room to your phone and look it over.

‘Need to get out of the house for a while. I was gonna wander around in the woods like a dumb teenager, wanna come?’

You roll your eyes. You imagine that if you looked out the window right now you’d spot Toby outside your house already. Your friend knew you had a hard time saying no to him and abused his power to no end.

'its a school night dummy.’

'and almost midnight’

‘Yeah… Anyway, how’s that science project that’s due tomorrow coming along for you?’

Shit. You totally forgot about that.

'asshole’

‘Haha. You could always skip and finish it tomorrow.’

'ugh’ ‘you let me forget on purpose’

‘You have no proof of that.’ ‘I’ll buy you an energy drink and snacks?’

'open with that next time. omw’

At least you were right about him already waiting for you. Toby grins at you a little and you punch him in the arm lightly once you’ve successfully climbed out of your window. True to his word, Toby buys you a Monster and teases you about your flavor choices.

“The original monster is fucking gross-” You say, scrunching your nose up at the very thought of it.

“It’s- It’s not that bad! You’re j-just a baby.” Toby argues back as he wanders down the aisles, grabbing whatever snacks and candies catch his or your attention.

“You’re not even supposed to drink Monster, loser.”

Toby shrugs, ducking his head and hiding his smile behind his hood. You wish he’d smile a bit more openly.

Toby pays the gas station attendant for your haul and the two of you start walking in the same direction as his house, wandering past it and into the nearby woods. You’re a little freaked out walking around the dark woods at night, but Toby seems totally at home. Although, he practically grew up in these woods, so you suppose it’s only fair.

“Why the fuck is it so cold? It’s spring.” You complain. You thought it’d be warmer and you’re practically freezing in your long sleeve shirt.

“It’s barely March.” Toby retorts.

“Whatever.”

“Wanna wear my jacket?” Toby offers, although he pales when you look up at him and he turns his gaze away. The dark hides his expression, but it’s pretty easy to tell that he’s embarrassed.

“Sure.” You answer, trying to sound casual. Before you know it you’re wrapped up in his jacket. It’s already a bit too big on him cause he’s way skinnier than he should be so it hangs off your frame and covers your hands. It’s nice, though you try not to think too hard about how much you enjoy wearing it, or how it smells like that awful body spray he uses that you can’t seem to complain about.

“You sure you’re not cold, though?” You ask.

“Eh. C-CIPA stuff makes feeling temperature we-weird anyway.” He shrugs. You forget sometimes that he doesn’t feel pain. The following silence is awkward and you’re still trying not to focus too much on the fact that giving someone your jacket is an inherently romantic gesture, so you decide to bully him a bit to take your mind off it.

“Where’d you even get this thing anyway? Who in the right mind sells a brown jacket with striped sleeves and a blue hood?” You ask and he snorts. You’ve made it clear before through teasing just how silly you find his jacket’s design to be. Toby rolls his eyes.

“W-Wasn’t always a blue hood. I fell out of a tree once and ripped the original h-hood on the w-way down. Lyra just took the hood off-off one of her old jackets and s-sewed it on.”

You roll your eyes and chuckle. He’s the only person you know that would have a story like that.

The two of you wander around together and talk, and as you walk you wonder what his reaction would be if you just reached out and held his hand. Too bad you’re too much of a coward to try.

As if on cue, Toby pauses in his tracks and reaches out to grab your sleeve. He tugs you gently in a different direction.

“Come on. T-This way.”

“Where’re we going?” You ask.

Toby glances over his shoulder at you, and you notice a hint of a smile across his face.

“There’s this o-old tower th-thing close by. I like hanging out there sometimes.”

Toby leads you into a clearing, and you find yourself in front of a tall red tower.

“What is this thing?”

“D-Dunno. I guess it use-used to be a climbing wall or something.”

You stare at some of the graffiti on the outer walls as Toby walks around to the other side.

“Come on!” He calls. You follow him around to the back of the tower and find that one side is open, allowing access to the inside. Caution tape and trash litters the ground inside and Toby is halfway up a ladder to the top.

“We’re climbing up…? This looks rickety as hell, man.”

“It’s fine,” Toby assures, pausing at the top to turn and look down at you. “I’ve climbed this thing pl-plenty of times.”

“I dunno…”

“Come on. D-don’t be a baby, it’s fine.” He teases and makes himself comfortable on the top of the wall.

“That’s exactly what the guy says to the girl before something really bad happens in a horror movie.” You argue, though you can’t fight back a smile as you climb up anyway.

“We’re not in a ho-horror movie though.” Toby says, taking your hand and helping you sit beside him. You sit close to him and your sides press together. You feel a surge of pride when you remember that he used to shy away from you a lot when you first met, but now you can casually touch like this with no issue.

You open and share snacks together, and you let Toby take a sip of your drink to see if he likes the flavor or not. You watch him raise it to his mouth and your brain screams something at you about an indirect kiss and you quickly shove that thought aside and stomp on it.

Sure, Toby is cute and he’s a good friend, but you don’t like him like that. Definitely not. Would you kiss the crap out of his stupid adorable face if you knew it wouldn’t scare him off? Of course. But that doesn’t mean you have some kind of lame crush on him.

“Ca-Can I… tell you something?” He starts, seeming a bit bashful all of the sudden. Your heart kicks into overdrive. Oh fuck, okay, maybe you we’re lying about not having a little bit of a crush.

“Of course.” You say, trying not to let your voice waver. He hesitates.

“U-Uh. N-Nevermind, actually! Heh.”

You raise a brow.

“Oh come on, what was it?” You ask.

“Ju-just!” Toby looks a bit panicked as he fumbles. “Um. Just thinking about th-that book I’m reading. I think I already told you about it though. D-Did I tell you about the main character and his friend’s fight?”

Even if you didn’t know Toby that well, you’d still know he was lying. He’s a pretty bad liar. Your heart sinks a bit but you don’t push the subject.

“Oh, yeah you did.” You say, a little disappointed. Toby rambles for a few minutes about his book and conversation continues easily enough.

“Oh!” Toby jumps, and suddenly turns to you with a big smile. “M-My sister is coming over this weekend!”

“Lyra, right?”

“Y-Yeah. She’s coming to visit f-from college.” He says, and he looks really happy. “Y-you should come over and meet her. She’d l-love you.”

That sentiment makes you feel warm inside. Toby speaks very highly of his sister, so you really hope she likes you.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” You say and Toby beams at you.

“You seem excited.” You smile and nudge him with your elbow.

“Y-yeah. She goes to school kind of far away, so it’s been a while sin-since I’ve seen her.” Toby looks away, his tone becoming a bit more serious. “F-for a long time I felt like Lyra w-was the only per-person who really cared about me… W-well. Until I met you.”

Your heart melts a little and you can’t resist letting your head thunk onto his shoulder. Toby stiffens, but makes no move to stop you.

“She sounds great, I can’t wait to meet her.”

Toby hums, and you sit together for a while longer until you realize it’s almost 3 am. You carefully climb back down the ladder, Toby following and you watch as he jumps down the last foot of ladder and lands on his feet with a soft thunk. You’re about to walk off before he catches your attention again.

“Oh! I-I almost forgot,” He says, then starts examining the walls, as if looking for something. “H-Here it is.”

You approach to see what he’s talking about, and you find a low section of wall with Toby’s name messily carved into it.

“Wanna carve something too?” He asks. You hum an affirmative and Toby withdraws a small pocket knife from his jean pocket and hands it to you.

“I’m not gonna question why you have a knife.” You say, chuckling tiredly as you knelt and began carefully carving.

“F-For protection, obviously.” Toby says, his tone teasing. “One of u-us has to keep us safe. Since we’re in a horror movie now.”

You roll your eyes and finish up your carving, moving aside so Toby could see it. You carved your own name underneath his, adding a plus sign between them. You watch him flush slightly, trying not to blush yourself.

“Now everyone will know we were here together.” You say, justifying yourself as you passed his knife back.

He walks you home and you reluctantly give his jacket back once you’re in your driveway. You’re about to climb back through your window when Toby speaks up.

“U-um…” He starts. You look back to see him rocking on his feet. He steps forward, and hesitates for a second before pulling you into a quick hug.

“T-thanks for hanging out with me. A-And-and for being my friend. Bye!”

Toby lets go and runs off before you can say anything back. You find yourself grinning from ear to ear as you slip into bed, quickly unlocking your phone and opening his contact.

'you’re welcome, loser <3’

You skip school the next day like Toby suggested, convincing your mom of a killer headache when she comes in to see why you’re not up. You imagine the eyebags from your lack of sleep help your case pretty well since she doesn’t make a fuss about it. You finish up some neglected work and waste the day away. It’s Friday, and you know Lyra is supposed to come into town today. You figure Toby will message you later about plans to meet up.

So you find it strange when you don’t hear from Toby at all that weekend. You feel a little down about it, but maybe Lyra just didn’t feel like hanging out, and he was probably busy with family stuff, so you don’t question it.

When he doesn’t show up to class on Monday, you figure he’s just spending more time with his family. Then, when two more days go by without seeing him or getting a text back, you worry that he got into a fight and got suspended or something. You’re properly freaking out by the time the week is up.

You’d only been to Toby’s house once before and that was only when all of his family was out of the house for the night. Other than that he was always kind of weird about you coming over. If you hung out outside of school it either had to be at your place or somewhere else. And now here you were, marching over to get an answer.

You notice a car in the driveway and hesitate. You didn’t want to risk interacting with his dad. Toby never told you any specifics, but he seriously hated that guy. You look up at Toby’s window and notice a shadow move across the curtains. He’s in there.

You don’t want to recreate a shitty teen movie and throw rocks at his window, and if texting him worked then you would’ve gotten an answer days ago. Using the railing of the porch, you haul yourself as quietly onto the roof outside his window as possible. Fuck, you really hope it’s him in there and not one of his parents or something. Gently, you knock on the glass. There’s no response for a minute, and you’re about to knock again when the curtains yank back and scare the shit out of you. You’re met with Toby’s shocked face on the other side, as if you both were equally startled by one another.

“Uhh… Hi?” You say weakly. Toby struggles to yank the window up and drags you inside. You stumble into his bedroom and his hands grip your biceps hard.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He hisses.

“I was worried about you!” You snap, keeping your voice as low as his. “You’ve been out all week and you never- replied…”

Your anger completely melts away when you finally get a good look at the state he’s in. His arms and hands are bandaged up and his face is marred with little scratches and a nasty bruise beneath his eye. He raises an eyebrow like he has no idea why you’re looking at him like that. His breath hitches when you absentmindedly reach out and place a hand on his cheek, just below the bruise and rub a bit with your thumb.

“What happened to you?” You ask, softly. Toby suddenly jumps back, like your touch burnt him. His arms wrap tight around his chest and he avoids your gaze and you try not to be hurt by that.

“C-Car accident.”

“You were in a fucking car accident?!” You whisper-scream.

“I’m fine.” He insists. He doesn’t look fine to you at all. “S-Sorry I did-didn’t tell you. Ph-Phone’s been turned off for a few days…”

He glances at his nightstand and you follow his gaze to his phone, connected to the charger but the front is completely shattered. He probably just didn’t want to look at it.

Toby stays silent for a moment before speaking up again.

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? No- God no, Tobes, I was just worried. It’s okay, really. I’m sorry I freaked out and climbed onto your roof and knocked on your window.”

Toby finally grins a little at your remark, but it drops off his face quickly.

“…You should go. I don’t want my parents to know you’re here.” Toby herds you towards the window, and you go without any struggle. All you wanted was to see that he was okay, and you supposed you got your answer.

“Alright, alright, but you better text me later, okay?”

Toby smiles a little again, but it looks forced.

“Y-Yeah. I’ll try.”

You head back home, and you don’t get any texts. You spend the next few days in silent frustration while you’re still ignored by your friend. Maybe something else happened that he’s not telling you about? Sure, a car accident is traumatizing, but he seemed more or less okay? There has to be some other reason he’s avoiding you.

All it takes is a quick scroll through your local news site to find the obituary. Lyra Rogers. Your hands freeze on your laptop’s mouse in silent horror. Holy shit, his sister died in that crash. You’re suddenly overcome with sadness. Toby talked about Lyra a lot- about his cool older sister in college a few towns away who always looked out for him. You never got to meet her. Fuck, no wonder he’s been so distant.

Every ounce of frustration leaves your body and you slump over. You just accept that you’re probably not going to see your friend anytime soon. You consider giving him your condolences, but you don’t want to risk bringing it up and hurting him more. Besides, Toby’s never been one to want people’s sympathy or pity. You suppose he’ll reach out when he’s ready.

The next few days are sporadic. You get an apology text from Toby and he updates you about his condition, though he’s vague and only mentions that he’s going to see a doctor. You don’t get much else. English class is boring without him. Toby goes completely silent again.

You figure he just needs time to himself to heal, but you’re constantly worried about him in the back of your mind. One morning you’re passing through the living room while getting ready for school and you pause in front of the TV, your mother having left it on the news. Your heart stops mid beat in your chest.

Brutally murdered… fire… missing…

You feel bile rise in your throat and you slap a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from being sick, backing away from the TV. Tears flow down your cheeks. There’s no way this is real, right? Toby wouldn’t do that. Your Toby wouldn’t do that.

You quickly retreat to your room, ignoring your mother's shout from downstairs. You whip out your phone, foregoing your text messages and going straight to calling him. You need to hear from him, you need him to tell you that it was all a lie and that he was innocent.

Your first call goes unanswered, but the second goes through after two rings. You gasp a little and listen hard for a moment. You think you can hear breathing, the distant crunching of leaves.

“Toby?” You ask. The call ends immediately. The rest of your calls are unanswered. You resort to texts after a few minutes, hoping that he was at least reading them.

You skip school the next few days- you don’t want to hear what anyone else has to say on the situation, no one knew Toby like you knew him, and you can’t guarantee that you won’t lunge at someone for bad mouthing him. Although, you never thought Toby would kill someone either, so maybe you didn’t know him that well after all.

Your life feels like it's falling apart. You’re like a carnival ride violently swinging back and forth between the five stages of grief, jumping around like it’s fucking hopscotch.

You push yourself out of bed that weekend in a strange rush of determination. You were just making yourself more miserable by sitting around and wallowing in bed all day, you’re driving yourself crazy like that. Pushing past the want to just lay down again, you get dressed and decide to go on a walk. Maybe fresh air will make you feel better.

Without even trying, you somehow end up close to Toby’s house. For a second, you consider going up to the door and knocking, maybe talk to his mom a bit. You’ve never met her before, but Toby seemed fond of her. Maybe she’d let you, you don’t know, take one of his jackets to remember him by? Or was that way too weird?

You realize with a sinking feeling that Connie Rogers lost her daughter, son, and husband within the short span of a few weeks. She most certainly has more important things to deal with than some kid showing up on her door and asking to rifle through her son’s stuff. Maybe you could talk to her sometime, but not now. You push past and walk into the woods behind their house, wandering around until you somehow end up at the tower you visited with him only a few days ago.

You collapse into a heap and slump against the wall. The floodgates swing open and all your emotions come rushing out, and you let them.

You scream and cry without having to worry about anyone hearing you. You sob uncontrollably for a few minutes, then you curse Toby’s name and yell at him for tricking you into being his friend- then your brain makes you imagine what his face would look like if you had said that to his face and then you’re just sad again. You shrink in on yourself, crying and saying that you didn’t mean it. You don’t know why you bother saying anything to him out loud anyway, it’s not like he can hear you.

You wish he was dead, that they’d found a body after he escaped. At least then you’d know where he was. Then you could go to his grave and punch his headstone, or you could just sit there and talk as if everything was normal. But there’s no body, so there’s no grave. Knowing that he was likely alive out there somewhere is somehow more painful.

“You stupid jerk.” You say between disgusting, hiccupping sobs. You wipe at your face with your sleeve, trying to calm yourself.

If only you knew he was hiding up in a tree, a measly few feet away at the edge of the clearing, clutching at his chest as if it would keep his heart from clawing its way out.

#ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #toby rogers #toby rogers x reader #toby aaron rogers #lmk if theres spelling errors or smth im illiterate #this went way out of control lol this is so much longer than intended #my writing

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azems-familiar · 3 years

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hello! are there any songs you associate with any of the kotor characters? (totally not asking bc my brain is hungry for animatic ideas haha,,)

OH BOY DO I HAVE SONGS

first things first, i will direct you to my twelve hour Revan playlist that i use for writing vibes, it's a mixture of vocal and instrumental and it has both a bunch of Revan songs for different eras of Revan, plus revalek songs, plus some revastila songs, plus some songs that just vibe.... it's good and most of the songs i'm about to highlight, if not all of them, are on there already.

NOW. HERE WE GO.

first things first, i need to introduce you to the title song for my mandalorian wars fic, oblivion by the aviators! god, this song doesn't fit all Revans perfectly, but it fits mine so well it was like it'd been written for her specifically, i swear. listening to the song was what inspired me to write the fic to begin with (and now i have a whole series oops). i mean, come on, look at the chorus:

Let the broken heroes rise Let the victors take their prize No one wins when justice dies War has let this age begin It's where we've gone and where they've been What a state that we're in Here in oblivion

can't look at that and tell me that isn't Jedi Knight Revan and the war that broke them.

next up!! liar by the arcadian wild, my beloved. this song is currently my top all time on spotify, closely followed by the song i'm going to rec after it and then achilles come down - and the fact that anything unseated achilles for the top spot should tell you something. (and if you don't know what achilles come down is look it up that one's on my playlist too.) this is a really good one for Revan's slow fall down, the corruption arc - again, all of the songs i'm mentioning really fit my own versions of the characters best, but they're just good in general. some of the lyrics i enjoy from this one:

hnext up, we have it all by pim stones. this particular one feels very revalek to me, early in the Sith years when they still maybe had good intentions, maybe after the war but before becoming Darth. there's this softer, almost desperate tone to the way the singer sings it that just hits me hard - this is the song i'm using as the title for my Sith years interlude fic! a lyric snippet:

All my life I've been heading for hell But never had I thought I'd drag you down as well I just couldn't resist what he was trying to sell

There's glory ahead but our love will be forgotten If my heart was still mine I would go to the bottom And apologise to you until the day it went rotten

next up we have the balancer's eye by lord huron, which is the song i named my series after (have you noticed a trend yet?). it's a very Revan vibe in general, and while i'm not as much of a fan of the style, the lyrics are really excellent!

Nothing's waiting for us in the great sky Life is equal to dust in the balancer's eye Now I know that I can't lift an old curse Tell me, how does a man change the universe?

Will I ever be forgiven for the crime of my life? Will it haunt me 'til I die?

mmm let's see what next. OH! go to war by nothing more. this is just straight up a Sith years song for revalek, whether you ship them or not - they were important to each other either way! ..... i am not going to tangent into yelling about revalek. that is not what this is for. anyway, the song itself is a) a banger and b) talking about love corrupting and falling apart and it just. it hits, man

Do we censor? Do we flow? Are we drunk on the chemicals? Every feeling in my bones Tells me to lash out and tell you to fuck off You've got my heart and I've got your soul But are we better off alone? With every battle we lose a little more Remember everything that we'd die for You are everything that I'd die for

oooh NEXT we have the song i was going to use for my Jaw Scene before i decided to write a full sith years fic. saints by echos is the song, and again, we've got Sith years Revan and Malak here (yes yes i have a type), the vibes of losing faith and anger and it blends really well with how Revan basically played off being a legendary figure to the Republic to fuel their war against it!

You were standing there like an angry god Counting out my sins just to cross them off Saying that my tongue was too loud to trust And that my blood couldn't keep you

My dear, you're not so innocent You're fooling Heaven's gates So you won't have to change You're no saint, you're no savior

mmmm okay the discord has informed me that ten (10) songs is the maximum i should do in one post so. i will only do four more. chrysalis - the last breath by delain is yet another Sith Revan and Malak song and honestly you can read it as a response to the song above, if you think of saints from Malak's pov and chrysalis from Revan's, they mesh really well together.

Hey, are you still mad? About the time We almost went too far I know your regrets In my defense; By now, it's just a scar That distracts you from Your broken heart Like you wanted it to do How do you feel? I don't... How do you know? You won't... To let go of you I will try Until my last breath How do you feel? I don't... How do you know? You won't... To let go I promise I will fight

next! for a complete change of pace, i have a revastila song for you - warrior by beth crowley. it somehow manages to capture exactly the dynamic i think of in my head when i think about Bastila, the uncertainty, the forbiddeness of it, but the way Revan ultimately strengthens her and she strengthens Revan

You fascinated me Cloaked in shadows and secrecy The beauty of a broken angel

I ventured carefully Afraid of what you thought I'd be But pretty soon, I was entangled

You take me by the hand I question who I am

uhhhhhh i am desperately trying to think of songs that aren't just about Revan but instead here i am with another Mandalorian Wars Revan song, what did we know by rachel rose mitchell! this song was introduced to me by the same friend who sent me oblivion, and it really captures the fall of the Mandalorian wars incredibly well imo - the way it started with righteousness but ended in pain (compassion leading to destruction and that's a ramble i'm not going on here either), and there's this line in there that i'm not including in my snippet that's what scares me more than anything / if we could choose the past / we'd probably choose the same and it's like. yes! that's it! i'm going to once again go insane over the scene in the Korriban tomb in kotor 2!!! knowing the price.... would you choose to do it all again........ aaaaaaaa

It's been so long since we began. It seems so long ago That in the name of loyalty We started on our own. Answering the call of a house we once called home, We knew that we were right. What did we know?

We swore that we understood this wasn't a game, But somehow we found ourselves fanning the flames. Those who cautioned and abandoned us, they were the same. I saw them turn away.

the final song i'm doing is the song i used when i wrote the Betrayal scene from Malak's pov, the little things give you away by linkin park. this one just. it vibes, it vibes hard, goes really into the actual grief of betrayal, and also has a super epic instrumental solo so there's that. as usual, lyric snippet:

Don't want to reach for me, do you? I mean nothing to you The little things give you away But now there will be no mistaking The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted Was someone to truly look up to you And six feet under water, I do

All you've ever wanted Was someone to truly look up to you And six feet underground now I Now I do

god okay now that you're completely overwhelmed and never want to talk to me again....... i should've probably put this under a readmore but eh. thanks for the ask!

#asked and answered #my revan playlist #there is literally so much music on here #i make up animatics in my head so #you sent this ask in and i sent it to the discord like #what's up i'm about to overwhelm this poor person who just started following me #please don't regret interacting with me #oh i should probably tag this as #long post

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aceofpandas · 4 years

Text

What-if for Season 4

So at the end of season 3’s episode “Ladybug” we see that Adrien "asking” Lila to get Marinette back in school and what not. Words are spoken and wow just look at how they’re spoken:

That line right there! Okay so I watched this episode in English and in [Latin American] Spanish and wow the way that line is spoken. Both voice actors really conveyed how Adrien would channel his anger. It’s not an emotion we really got to see in Adrien before but in both languages the barely contained anger is something I feel is in line with what we know about Adrien who controls and is conscious of his emotions. It got me thinking about how passive aggressive this boy really is and man oh man how I wish that it get’s worked into season 4. Passive aggressive Adrien Agreste vs. resident liar/manipulator Lila Rossi. Yaaaas sign me up.

Hopefully, this side of him is explored next season and we can finally give Adrien some rivals who can help us explore his character a little more. This ending suggests that Lila is completely in Adrien’s danger radar and he’ll be in Protect Marinette Mode (similar to his Protect Ladybug Mode). In fact, the scene pictured above aligns with his self-sacrificial tendencies that he has as Chat Noir. Lots of people have mentioned that agreeing to the photoshoot is him selling his soul, but he also establishes that he won’t ever have a genuine friendship with Lila. Bring on the war!

I personally think that Adrien, who we know isn’t too confrontational, will take a subtle approach. And how can he do that? Well, he could channel his inner actor where he can certainly play the part of “friend” while simultaneously working to discredit Lila.

Like you can not tell me that Adrien, who’s enrolled in a bunch of activities, was not enrolled in acting classes at some point in his homeschooled life. His mom was an actress, so it’s not like his parents would be against the idea of acting lessons. He was even the VA for his own superhero persona in canon’s LB+CN movie lmaoooo. Yes, he’s a model and very much loved by the people of Paris so perhaps being chosen for the role isn’t too surprising, but that also doesn’t mean he has no talent or training for it. Let’s be real, modeling could be the compromise to his parents wanting their son to follow in their footsteps. Modeling is the fashion from his dad and the art of perfecting his facial expressions from his mom.

And like even if acting lessons were never a thing, his mom was around in his life. We know basically nothing about the woman, so really we can speculate that she showed Adrien a thing or two about acting. Let’s say it was through her that Adrien learned to be expressive, to be not expressive, and to be anywhere in between. His mom could have taught him to roll with what life has to offer through ad libs and improv. Adrien we’ve seen to have a dramatic flair as both Adrien and Chat Noir, and he honestly controls his temper waaaay better than we give him credit. Sure he makes mistakes, but really he’s human and he does learn from them (now if only the writing could keep character development for its characters but yeeaaaah).

Here’s a scenario where Adrien can start his stop Lila campaign:

Adrien and Lila are interviewed about the recent shoot and you know questions roll around about how was it working with together, they’re classmates right, are the two dating, yada yada

Adrien answering and not even trying to let Lila get the first word in because the boy is on high alert and knows this girl will try to spin it in her favor

“Oh, it was surprising my father even thought of letting one of my classmates model with me. In fact, I didn’t even know Lila was interested in modeling. Still, it was interesting to work with someone new to the field.”

Which on the surface seems like an ordinary, polite response; appropriate of Adrien but it’s also everything Adrien needs to corner Lila.

In all of three sentences Adrien says he played no part in making the photoshoot happen, effectively shuts down the possibility of dating Lila, and establishes to the public that Lila is nothing more than a classmate, one he doesn’t even know well.

Lila is annoyed but she’s not giving up because she’s under the impression that Adrien is far too agreeable and spineless therefore she writes him off as Not a Threat

Hahahaha jokes, Adrien plays on people underestimating him

“Well, I didn’t want you to think that I wanted to make it seem like I was using you because we’re friends and friends don’t do that.”

Or something along those lines I dunno

“That’s the great thing about our class everyone is so nice that we can all be friends. Lots of us are so creative and I love getting to know everyone. Nathaniel, Lila’s desk mate, is a great artist; sketching, painting, he’s your guy. He’s currently working on a superhero comic with Marc from the other class and I can’t wait for what else they come up with for the sequel. Ivan, who sits in front of Nathaniel, he’s a rockin’ drummer, and Rose, she’s another one of our classmates, killer voice and awesome lyrics. Her best friend, Juleka plays bass and I’ve actually modeled with her before. Nothing official, but since I know Juleka wants to be a model I honestly thought she was going to be the one I was modeling with for this shoot. Sure it wasn’t a huge shoot, but Juleka did such a great job. And the clothes we modeled were made by our everyday Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Marinette, she’s also our class rep by the way, is such a brilliant designer! Did you know that she actually won one of my father’s contests? Her hat was adored by Audrey Bourgeois AND she was offered the chance to move to New York. And you know…”

Basically, Adrien ends up spending the rest of the interview talking about how much he knows about his friends and “gee it’s such a shame I don’t really know much about you Lila.”

Read: you aren’t special, I have more friends, and I actually pay attention to them.

Bonus point: Alec is the one who interviews them and he picks up on Lila becoming more and more frustrated with Adrien.

Pretty in character for him to poke the bear *cough* Stormy Weather *cough* so for him to let Adrien take the reins of the interview for the sake of drama isn’t that much of a stretch.

Alec: What about Lila?

Adrien: I don’t know, I really don’t want to get anything wrong so she can answer

The next day, the interview is the only thing anyone can talk about

Adrien’s classmates gushing about how sweet Adrien is because he literally showed them that he really cares about them.

Adrien remembering all this information about all of them and hyping everyone up on TV!!

Friends know each other’s dreams and likes and dislikes and Adrien isn’t known to have lots of free time, but him making the effort to remember all that about each person is flattering to the class

Let Adrien show how much he appreciates and admires his friends pleeeeeeease

Lila can be in the background plotting how to paint Adrien in a bad light

But uhhh the class is going full Protect This Precious Boy at this point so your plan has to be fool-proof Lila

Bonus point: the class is now more sus of Lila after the whole Marinette-got-expelled-and-then-unexpelled (which is still fresh in their minds).

No one get’s an expulsion reversed unless they’re innocent

And dude Lila was in the middle of that whole mess.

Whatever Lila did shows she has the power to get any of them expelled.

If the kids aren’t at least wary of Lila in season 4, then the writers really be tripping because too many red flags around Lila for people to just wave them off.

In other news, Marinette starts to trend after enough of Adrien’s fans connect the dots that she’s the same girl who they chased around that time she and Adrien went to the movies

If the majority of Parisians weren’t convinced they were dating back then, oh boy they at least ship it by this point hahahaha

#miraculous ladybug and chat noir #adrien agreste #what if scenario #ml theory #marinette dupain cheng #lila rossi gets a new rival #let other characters have rivals that arent romace based you cowards!!#adrien gets a new rival #my one wish is character development #oops this got long #ml spoilers #maybe?#my headcanons

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blackberry-gingham · 3 years

Note

Do you write headcannons? If you do how about one for soft teddy!beatles x reader

Yay, first request, thank you! But hm, I've never thought about headcannons, but I can try! Since this request is kinda open, I'm going to go for like, what the general relationship vibes are

George

Does anyone remember the like slam poetry club from a goofy movie?

Like I'm talking that, dark smokey room, chilling in an alley, cool cat, avant garde poet vibe

That's George

Of all the boys, he's the loner of the group

He's just got that dark and mysterious vibe, which is honestly what drew you to pursue him in the first place

You're chill in your own right tho and great at respecting his space, both of which he loves you for

The other boys are actually kinda surprised at how easily he opened up to you

You two can often be seen on the edge of the social gathering, either kissing or just vibing, away from all the noise

But what does he do when he's off in his own world, and takes time to himself?

Write music and lyrics of course!

He brings his work to you a lot, and even plays samples of his sheet music for you

"how's this sound love?" "I'm thinking it goes something like this... There, how's that?"

You're his number one fan, but he appreciates that you give genuine feedback too

He loves to write you cute little notes and sweet romantic poems

Although, he never straight hands them to you, you always just... Find them in places clearly meant for you to discover them

Your purse, your bookbag, the teeth of your hairbrush, the sleeve of your favorite record

He doesn't know this, but you hold onto every single one

Dates with George are kind of low key tbh

Like if you want to go out, that's fine! But usually you two just vibe and write lyrics, poems, and music together

He even teaches you some guitar!

To the boys, you're basically George part two lol

Meaning, they're happy to hangout and all, but typically they just respect you and your space like they do for George

You're just a mystery to them, and they're ok with that

John

The actual definition of "asshole to the world, sweetheart to his girl"

He gives you LOTS of pet names

"my bird" "love" "doll face" " she's a dime"

At first, you're kiiiiind of just his arm candy

He's just nervous to show his soft side, you know?

After all, his role in the teds is halfway between the leader and the muscle

Add that into the fact that he's secretly quite the anxious person, and you manage to let it go

But!!! Once you've been together for a while, he's fiercely protective of you in public and sweetly affectionate when he thinks no one's looking

Like when you're alone?

I'm talking head in your lap while you play with his hair, comes to you randomly and asks for hugs/cuddles, picks you up and spins you around, holds you close to slow dance even if there's no music, kind of affection

You just.... Soothe him

Like, maybe he doesn't need to be big bad John Lennon to show the world that he's strong and tough and worthy of love and affection

Now, when you're in public

He'll hold your hand if you ask and kiss you and all that, especially if he sees someone else eyeing you up

But if someone thinks they can catch him lacking and snatch you up?

WHOO BOY

Bottom line always is that you're his and he's yours, and anyone who can't respect that, or God forbid, can't respect you...

Let's just say, OOF

When it comes to dates this man is CLUELESS !!!

You basically have to do 80% of the planning, but luckily he's happy to do whatever you want!

The boys see you as a little sister of sorts, and they're all ready to stand up for you at a moment's notice!

However, that's often not necissary with John around lol

Paul

Paul is a bit like John in a way

He's loud, cocky, and rambunctious, but what sets him apart is he's charismatic enough to sell water to a drowning man and in tune enough with his emotions that he can express himself without growing frustrated or aggressive

1000000% chance that he's the one who approached you

Unfortunately for him, you're of the mindset to not associate with teddy riff raff like him and his friends

Paul's totally bewildered bc he's not use to being turned down flat like that

But that just makes him all the more eager to prove you wrong!

He's like a stray cat that takes a liking to you

Except instead of mice and birds, he brings you sweet little things like a bouquet of dandelions or some penny candy

After a while, he starts to grow on you

What if.... You were wrong about teds like Paul?

You guys get to talking and hanging out, and you even spend time with him and the boys! *Gasp*

Which is usually a trip, bc Paul looooves to show you off!

Like he's seriously your number one hype man

"there's my gorgeous girl!" "Don't you look lovely!" "Is that a new dress? It looks right capital on you!"

At first you were embarrassed by all the attention, but you soon grew to love it, especially considering how genuine he is with all his comments

Soon enough, you feel like you're on top of the world with a guy like him boosting your confidence!

Paul's dates are the most traditionally romantic of the boys

He takes you to dinner, drive in movies, accompanies you shopping, all that good stuff

As Paul's girl you're like the Queen to his King lol

Even tho John formed their little group, Paul feels the most like the leader with his silver tongue and all so you can always count on him and the other boys to have your back out there!

Ringo

Honestly the most square of all the teddy Beatles lol

That's ok tho bc as a square yourself, he's very approachable!

He's a little shy when you first meet him

It's just.... He's not cool and mysterious like George, or tough and strong like John, or even all that charming and charismatic like Paul

Sooooo... Why him?

Honestly at first you're not sure you could answer that question

But thankfully, it doesn't take you long at all to tease out his real personality, and by that point you feel like you could come up with a hundred reasons!

Of all your favorite things about him, your top three would definitely be that he's silly, fun, and the kind of boyfriend who's also your best friend!

Like really, he's always willing to lend an ear or a comforting shoulder, whatever you need!

He's like a puppy in a way, of all the boys he's most likely to be the one to go out if his way to please you and make you happy

On that note, he loves to make you laugh!

It's just the most magical sound to him and he doesn't understand at all why you hate the sound of it

"can't be worse then mine", he gawffs

Ringo isn't use to going very far from his friends, but when he meets you, he loves going on little dates together!

He's got a bad case of two left feet, but your favorite thing to do is go dancing

Your place, his place, the town square, it's always a good time to let loose and have fun!

His spontaneity takes you by surprise, honestly

You're just not use to letting go and having pure, genuine fun whenever and wherever

But with Ringo to show you the ropes, you embrace it quickly!

When you're not out cutting a rug, another hot spot for you two is the ice cream parlor

Of course you always get things to share, like a milkshake or a sundae

He always lets you choose

Surprisingly the boys don't pay you too much mind

They're happy for Ringo, and you too of course! But they mostly leave you both to your own devices

They look out for Ringo of course, but mostly Ringo is perfectly fine looking out for himself lol so they assume it'd be no different for his girl!

Which is fine by you guys, after all you're both more then happy to just tag along on the teds shenanigans and see where the road takes you!

#the beatles #beatles headcannons #beatles x reader #john lennon x reader #john lennon #paul maccartney #paul mccartney x reader #ringo starr x reader #ringo starr #george harrison x reader #george harrison #teddy!beatles #aaaaaaa so many tags!!!!

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curechocolattymilk · 3 years

Text

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

----

And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

#tes v #tes v skyrim #last dragonborn #ldb oc #jeerteiperdes #tes #skyrimblogging #oc meme #long post #character meme #finished this just in time for me to start registering for my online courses neato #also its almost 12am so if you notice any misgendering of tei (calling them he) lmk im tired haha

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