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astridthevalkyrie · 8 days

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your match is made | xavier x reader

“I know,” he continues, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “that the people in our classes, the nobles, the folks in the marketplace, they all hold me in high regard.” “Xavier,” you try to argue weakly, already feeling your heartbeat speed up from where this conversation is going. The thought of losing him, of losing your best friend, your prince, your everything, it is paralyzing. “Please don’t—” “I know that my weapon of choice is a longsword.” “Stop,” you whisper. But he doesn’t, and he looks directly into your eyes with an open, honest sincerity written all over his face. Like this is his truth, even though it is yours. “And I know that you have known me all your life, and I feel that I have known you for even longer than that.”

cw: fluff, like that's it that's literally it this is so fluffy

word count: 6.6k

a/n: lyric credits used in this fic: téir abhaile riú by celtic woman <- fire song btw, listen to bless your ears, it also sets the vibe of this fic very nicely tbh. jeremiah's my favorite boyfailure.

Lanterns hang from every available line in and around the town square, brightening any block lucky enough to fall under its horizon. In every corner and roadblock, there are carts littering the streets, dozens upon dozens of merchants calling out their best prices on their finest goods, all the way from fabrics stitched by the very same threads used for the royals’ robes, to common sweet chocolates that all the teenagers are purchasing in bulk to share with their friends and younger siblings. There is room to move around, but there is not a single area that is not bustling with people, either trying to purchase steamed corn from the stalls or simply enjoying the festivities with their families. And in the center of it all, the bards play with such finesse that their fingers may as well be the source of the music rather than the instruments.

Such is the celebration of lights, a celebration of the light. Of Philos, of this miracle that humanity has been gifted with. Every year without fail, the people gather in the town square to commemorate this historic occasion, and every year without fail, it is the grandest jamboree you have ever bore witness to.

“C’mon, Xavier,” Jeremiah protests out loud, “what would be the point of having the crown prince with us if he refuses to pay for our meals?”

Xavier simply shakes his head, the serene smile never leaving his face as he denies Jeremiah for the third time tonight—he clearly derives great pleasure from doing it. “I’d hate to rob you of the chance to participate in Philos’ market tonight of all nights.”

Jeremiah groans at his right, and from Xavier’s left, you giggle. It’s the same routine every single year, and at every occasion to be honest, and yet Jeremiah never stops trying to emphasize the difference in his wealth versus the royal family’s. Xavier, who you think would give his last dime to an ant if it looked hungry enough, looks like he loves refusing Jeremiah more than participating in any one of the activities tonight.

The spicy aroma of rice cakes fills your senses then, and you let out a longing sigh as you look to the stall decorated with steaming bowls on all sides. “I’m starting to get hungry too, now.”

Both of them follow your gaze, where the vendor is hurriedly turning this way and that to discuss prices and accept payments, while three of his chefs work in the back, delivering more as the demand increases. Xavier hums quietly, then takes out a small black pouch from his pocket.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to eat.” He holds out the bag for you to take, but before you can, Jeremiah scoffs, loudly.

“Oh, that’s sick.” He points an accusing finger at the prince. “That’s sick! If you keep playing favorites, you’re going to get betrayed when you take the throne, I hope you know. I swear I’m going to lead a revolution against you myself.”

“Do you really think my grandis knight would ever let you harm me?” Xavier shoots back, and you beam as Jeremiah rolls his eyes, snatching the pouch straight out of his fingers.

“I’ll take this, and I’m going to get two”—he holds up two fingers for emphasis—”two bowls, and I’m not sharing. Your grandis knight can split her portion with you.” With that, he stomps off in a huff, leaving Xavier with his head tilted and a confused expression on his face.

“I don’t understand. There should be enough coins for three bowls.”

“He’ll get you a bowl.” You raise your voice enough for Jeremiah to hear as he walks. “He’s very grateful that you offered your money, isn’t that right, Jermy?”

Jeremiah makes a rude gesture without even turning back to face you, and you laugh, grabbing Xavier’s wrist to follow him. If it were any other member of the royal family, they’d be getting swarmed right about now, and would likely require at least ten guards to stand around them at all times to ward people off. That is how the king and queen sit, a few blocks away from the main festival, up on a platform elevated high enough that no one could think to climb it, with Lightseekers both in front of them and on the ground, safe and observing the celebration from a distance. Philos’ crown prince is different. Xavier is out in the town with the common folk so frequently that he’s almost lost all the celebrity status his title comes with. Of course, that makes him popular in an entirely different way. The people in the market always seem happy that someone of such high status would lower himself enough to walk and talk amongst them.

His hand slips lower as the two of you go after Jeremiah, warm fingers intertwining with yours. You think little of it, reckoning he doesn’t want to get separated with so many people around. Xavier isn’t one to shy away from touch, at any rate. Once you spar with someone enough, it’s only natural to become physically comfortable with one another. He places his hands on your shoulders when he wants to guide you somewhere, bandages your cuts with his own calloused palms, presses his lips to your forehead to check whether you’re sick or not. In the face of all that, him holding your hand while running through a bustling crowd is hardly surprising.

Jeremiah is waving the pouch in the air hopelessly, trying to be noticed amongst the rest, when the vendor spots the two of you. “Xavier!” he calls happily. “Good timing, I have a fresh bowl ready just for you!”

“Unbelievable,” your chestnut-haired friend mutters under his breath, elbowing you as you laugh at his misfortune. Xavier steps closer, and you see him hold up two fingers to ask for more. When he points over, you wave to the vendor, who waves back before calling out instructions over his shoulder. In almost an instant, he has three steaming bowls filled with rice cakes ready for you to take. Your mouth almost waters at the sight.

Xavier picks up one of them to offer to you, which you take gratefully. Taking a few steps to the side to avoid crashing into anyone, the three of you find a relatively less crowded place to dig in.

Before you can take a heaping sip from the spoon, he gently takes your wrist and blows on the hot broth, meeting your eyes with a soft, concerned look. “Be careful.”

“I’m always careful,” you remind him teasingly, but blow some air of your own onto the spoon before finally digging in. As the flavors explode inside your palate, you hold back a moan at how good it tastes.

“Miss Knight!” a high-pitched voice calls out, and you turn in time to see a tiny pink blur moving past people’s legs.

“Adelaide!” You hand your bowl to Jeremiah, who passes it to Xavier without even blinking, and kneel down to catch the blur in your arms. “Look at you, you look so pretty! I love your dress!”

The little girl’s eyes light up at the compliment. “Thank you! Miss Knight,” she bounces up and down eagerly, “I made something for you!” In her hands, she holds out a product of one of the several craft stalls set up for the children during the festival, a simple but elegant flower crown that she holds out like a grand prize. And from how your heart melts, it may as well be.

“Oh, how beautiful. Thank you so much. Would you put it on for me?” You tilt your head down, and she places it on with all the care a child of six years would have. You know you’ll have a difficult time getting it out in a while after the flowers tangle with your hair, but you don’t mind at all. Adelaide is your favorite person to visit whenever the three of you come to town, the daughter of the seamstress who makes your uniforms, and you’d do anything to see her smile the way she is now.

“You look like a princess,” she says in awe. Your cheeks warm, and you stand up, gesturing to the other two.

“Speaking of which, you remember Xavier and Jeremiah, don’t you?”

Her small hands grip your dress robes as she hides behind your legs, peeking out at them. Xavier, with both his hands occupied holding your bowl and his own, merely smiles encouragingly at her, while Jeremiah waves. “Hiya, Adelaide. Your dress looks awesome!”

From the corner of your eye, you see her face turn bright red, and right as you’re about to coo inwardly about her adorable little crush, you hear someone calling her name. All your heads turn, as an older blonde boy, out of breath, almost pushes past people in his rush to run to her.

“I told you not to run off like that! You could get lost—oh.” He stops short when he sees you, blinking as the color returns to his cheeks after his run. “H-hi there.”

“Hi, Neville.” You smile at Adelaide’s older brother, who’s almost always around when you visit. “Enjoying the celebration?”

“Definitely—I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you, I was helping Mother with her stall, a-and I didn’t know your master would give you the night off.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. And the grandis knight is at the king’s side, he could hardly stay to train me on such an important night.”

“Right.” He stands with his hands on Adelaide’s shoulders, only staring, seemingly forgetting why he’s there in the first place. For a few moments, no words are said at all.

Right when you’re about to cough awkwardly, he snaps back to attention. “Um, would you like to dance?”

“She can’t,” Xavier says immediately, almost making you jump. He’s almost right behind you, looming over your shoulder and staring Neville straight in the eyes with an expression you’ve never seen on him before.

“Xavier!” The blonde bows clumsily (and unnecessarily) before straightening up, an unspoken question in his eyes. He looks between you and Xavier, and while you hadn’t been planning to agree to his request in the first place, you look at Xavier curiously as well. He’s never before dictated what you do during the celebration, whether you’re with him and Jeremiah or with some of the others in your class.

“She can’t,” he says again, a bit more softly, “she can’t, because…” He takes one glance at you, then down at the two bowls in his hand, then looks back up. “She’s already going to dance with Jeremiah.”

“What?” both you and your supposed dance partner question at the same time.

“You’ve been meaning to ask her to dance the whole night.” Xavier’s blue eyes fall on Jeremiah, with a pointed gaze. “This song is about to end, I think now is as good a time as any.”

“But I’m eating!” he whines, shaking the bowl in his hands as though to beg Xavier to take pity on him.

“I’d be happy to dance with her before Jeremiah steps in—” Neville offers, but he’s cut off by Xavier again, and this time his voice is icier, and his eyes are narrowed on Jeremiah who’s pouting at him.

“No, I think Jeremiah should do it now before it’s too late.”

Whatever message he’s trying to get across, Jeremiah clearly understands it, groaning and taking one last sip before grabbing your hand and tugging you to the main grounds. You’re only slightly irked that no one actually waited for your answer on whether you wanted to dance or not. But you’re more confused than anything else. Just a few minutes ago, both of them were fine, what could have happened so soon to make Xavier sound so cold?

“Have you really been meaning to ask me to dance all night?” you try asking, but Jeremiah only rolls his eyes.

“Please shut up. I already have to deal with His Majesty the Oblivious Idiot tonight, I can’t deal with both of you.”

“What are you talking about—”

“Miss Grandis Knight!” one of the bards, the violinist, waves to you. You’re momentarily distracted, smiling at her. It’s quite nice, if maybe a bit egotistical, to hear anyone call you what you’re trying so hard to be even when you haven’t achieved it yet. “Coming to dance?”

“I am!” you shout back cheerfully. “Give me a good one!”

She thinks for a few seconds, then makes a motion to the other musicians. Placing the violin against her collarbone delicately, she begins to pluck a familiar tune, one that has you lighting up and has the crowd cheering. Even Jeremiah grins as the two of you face each other, both of you well versed in proper dance etiquette from taking the same classes growing up.

First, he bows, mimicked by the other men in the large circle that’s formed, extending a hand to their dance partners. Then you, and the other ladies, curtsy, and with a light step you take his hand and begin the dance. The bards begin to sing the contagious melody, as you and Jeremiah step in place, back and forth, your arms extending then coming together, before he twirls you under his arm. Both of you are laughing for no real reason, perhaps aside from how frivolous this is compared to the fighting techniques you’re usually partaking in together.

The song builds, and builds, and his hands slip to your waist, helping you leap across him before he ducks his head dramatically. The violinist calls your name, pointing at you to sing the next verse. Through your giggles, your cheeks warm at the attention, but you oblige.

Swishing your dress around you, you bounce off Jeremiah, pointing at him with a flourish. “Come now and follow me down, down to the lights of Galway where—” Your eye catches Xavier’s, who’s watching you as though you’re the main event. With everyone else’s attention already on you, you’re not sure if you can possibly take any more, but something about his gaze makes your chest feel lighter, as though in this celebration of lights, the real light is the one staring at you, the one who has eyes for no one else. “There's fine sailors walking the town, and waiting to meet the ladies there!”

The bards take over the song again, yet the spell doesn’t break. As Jeremiah twirls you again and hands you off to the next man, switching dance partners easily, you beckon Xavier towards you, urging him to join.

The night is young, you try to convey to him wordlessly, and I don’t want to be without you.

He steps forward, as you switch dance partners again. While you hadn’t meant to dance in the first place, it makes you feel lightheaded in a good way. The movements you have to do are light as opposed to rough and unforgiving on your muscles, and the alternating hands on your body handle you as gently as possible instead of trying to seek out all your weak points.

Your head tilts to the side, trying to see if Xavier entered the fray or not. You’ve lost sight of him, in a different part of the circle now, and you can’t search properly without breaking the formation of the dance and ruining everyone’s fun. The next person you spin into ends up being Neville, who chuckles shyly and tells you, “Not bad, Miss Grandis Knight!”

His moves are far more stiff than Jeremiah’s, but far be it from you to judge when he hasn’t had formal training. The important thing is that he tries, and you still have fun, and besides, the song is ending now. You’re almost back to where you started in the circle, just one more spin and—

A familiar, calloused hand grazes yours, skimming down the side of your arm. You gasp at this touch, far more coarse than the others, and the only one to leave you breathless, not least because it’s accompanied by the striking blue of Xavier’s eyes.

When he extends and brings you closer, it is more than just natural. Xavier is of royal blood, it is almost as if he was born to do this. Your feet step with his without you having to look down, so familiar with his balance and pace from years and years and years of sparring together. And not even once do you break away from his piercing gaze, because you’re nervous that if you do, he might just disappear.

The song comes to an end, with a final step forward and your hands on Xavier’s chest, and everyone erupts into cheers. The noise surrounding you makes the silence between you and him all the more deafening.

As the two of you simply stare at each other, breathing in sync, one of his hands reaches up, first resting on your cheek before then making its way up to gently adjust the flower crown that had slanted on your head while you were dancing. Once he fixes it, his head tilts down, just enough that his nose brushes against yours, and a smile forms on your lips.

“I am very pleased you joined, my liege.” Your eyes shine in gratitude.

Xavier opens his mouth to respond, and that’s exactly when Jeremiah chooses to slump against his shoulder, yawning. “Oh man, I’m spent. When do we go back to the academy?”

Xavier looks mildly disgruntled. “This is going to go on for hours,” you tell him, frowning, “we can’t leave now. Besides, the fireworks will start soon.”

“Another dance?” the crown prince suggests, sliding your palm into his.

Jeremiah gives him an unimpressed look. “Give it a rest.”

Stepping past the two of them, you look at all the tables mostly occupied by children being distracted by someone painting little butterflies and stars on their faces or the tiny flutes that are passed out for them to blow into. One of the pastry vendors is handing out baked goods for free, and while you didn’t actually get any chance to eat earlier, you want to find something to actually do. You’re not tired after dancing; on the contrary, now you’re restless and brimming with energy.

“Come on,” you declare readily, taking both their hands and pulling them into the ruckus. Your boys have little choice but to come along with you. Your feet will start to ache soon too, you’re sure. But for now, while they don’t, and while the way Xavier was staring at you is still burned into your mind, you want to enjoy yourself.

Once again, his fingers tangle with yours, clinging to your hand warmly—a stark difference to Jeremiah’s, which you have to grip onto harder to make sure he doesn’t get left behind. He whines and complains the whole time, telling you he’s sore all over and that the three of you should try and beat the rush by leaving early. You’re used to this routine every year, so you’re not fazed. Nor is he serious, because even though you could physically force him to stay, Jeremiah never tries to leave until you and Xavier are good and ready.

As you run, different students in your section call out to you and Jeremiah. People are just slightly more hesitant to address Xavier directly, but you’ve never understood such a thing. The last thing he is is intimidating. Well, maybe place a sword in his hand and he becomes slightly fearsome (to everyone except you). There’s still no need to pretend that Xavier ever struts around demanding everyone show him the highest respects. He’s the furthest thing from arrogant.

It makes you feel proud, really, knowing you’ll be in the service of Philos’ greatest king.

“Xavier!” someone finally calls out. For a second, you’re thrilled, until you see who it is, and your face falls.

The title of grandis knight comes with a certain authority. Not one that you actually have yet, of course, but people respect the current holder of the position, and as his prized mentee, that respect teeters down to you most of the time.

Keyword being most.

Just a few months back, you and Lillia had been close friends. You weren’t as close to her as you were to Xavier and Jeremiah, but she was still someone you confided in. You knew a few personal things about her, and she knew a few personal things about you. It was nice to be able to talk to someone who wasn’t a guy, or your trainer, or one of the older students. Just another girl around your age training to become a Lightseeker.

But you should have realized that the respect you garnered by swearing to be the future king’s bodyguard came with a reasonable risk of betrayal as well. And yes, betrayal is a strong word. Technically, nothing happened. There is no accusation you can level at her. At least not without someone calling you hysterical, and that’s hardly needed when you’re already a woman seeking the highest position in the court, second only to the king himself.

It had come down to one night, with just you and her sitting and talking about nothing in particular, when she had leaned in and asked you something.

“So do you like anyone?”

It had been a quiet night, and the two of you had been the only ones awake, holed up in an old classroom, so you hadn’t thought any consequences could come from speaking truthfully—or at least, what you had genuinely believed to be the truth.

“Not really.” You’d shrugged, leaning back on the desk you were sitting on, putting your weight on your palms. “Most of the people in our section aren’t really my type.”

“Really?” Lillia had smiled slyly. “Not even Xavier?”

Your nose had wrinkled—not in disgust, just confusion. “Xavier? Why?”

“What do you mean? You two spend all your time together. You’re always sparring. Doesn’t romantic tension build up after something like that?”

“Maybe if we were equally matched,” you’d huffed, shaking your head, “I always beat him, I certainly don’t feel any tension. Besides, he’s going to be king. And I’m trying my best to be his grandis knight. We could never be in a relationship even if we wanted to be.”

“So you don’t have any interest in him?” she’d asked, a little more forcefully. You’d thought nothing of it at the time.

��I mean…” Your stomach had twisted a bit uncomfortably and you’d averted your gaze. “If you had a sword to my neck, if I had to choose someone…”

And it had forced you to think about it. A far off scenario, if he wasn’t going to be the king, or if you weren’t going to be the grandis knight, or maybe both. It had been difficult to see Prince Xavier as anything else, but…it wasn’t impossible. If you were both just students, or partners, or even if you worked at that bakery that he loved to frequent.

If you were just a normal person, and he was as common as everyone else, the first thing you’d thought you’d notice about him would be his eyes. It’s what you notice about him most of the time regardless. He has nice eyes. They have a sincerity in them that most people lack. And he looks at you a lot, so you would know.

He’s not bad to look at either. And he’s kind. A good leader. With a precious heart. And skilled fingers—

Blinking out of the hypnotic thoughts you’d fallen into, you’d hidden your suddenly flustered state as best you could and simply answered, “I suppose if I had to choose to love someone, I’d choose Xavier.”

And that had been that. Or so you thought. Everything had been alright, at least.

Until the next morning, when you’d walked out of your class and seen Lillia’s arms around Xavier’s neck.

For a second, it had felt like Philos stopped turning on its axis.

It wasn’t like Xavier had reciprocated. But that was only because he had been too polite to shove her away, and it would’ve been inappropriate to engage in anything further. Crown prince or not, he was still a guy, and obviously a pretty girl pressed into him in such a way would interest him.

And Lillia had caught your eye, and smiled triumphantly, as though to say well, if you don’t want him, then…

Even though you hadn’t said you didn’t want him. Well, you had said you weren’t interested, yes. But you had also told her that if someone held a blaster to your face if you didn’t cherish someone, then you would cherish Xavier. And maybe that hadn’t been a confession, but it hadn’t been you giving her permission to pursue him either. Not that she needed your permission, because it wasn’t like you had a claim on him, and it wasn’t supposed to make your chest burn that he, even for a second, looked at anyone else the way he looked at you.

You hadn’t confided your weak feelings to anyone else after that.

“Hi, Lillia,” Xavier says, snapping you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize until now that the three of you had approached her. “What’s this booth for?”

“Oh, it’s amazing,” she gushes, wrapping her hands around his arm and tugging. Your eye twitches. “She’s a fortuneteller. For just a few copper pieces, she’ll answer any one question you want to know about your life.”

“Really?” he asks softly, and all your gazes shift to the woman who bows her head to the prince, sitting in her chair with a purple drape over the small table in front of her. “I’m not sure what I’d want to ask.”

Lillia smirks in a way that makes you uneasy. “Well, I asked about my future partner.”

“Partner? For sparring?”

“For marrying, you dolt,” Jeremiah snorts, “c’mon, Xav, sit down and let’s see which unlucky soul gets to be queen of Philos.”

You’re nervous that he will, and you’re nervous that you won’t like the answer. Because it wouldn’t be you, you’re sure of that. And you shouldn’t want it to be you. That doesn’t mean you think he should be with her, either. What business did Lillia have pursuing Xavier, at any rate? She was training to be a Lightseeker too—but of course, the average knight did not have the same restrictions the grandis knight did—not that it matters because you have no say regardless—

But Xavier shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. My future partner will simply be…whoever the kingdom deems the loveliest of the lot.”

Your heart both inflates and deflates at his response. On one hand, you hadn’t wanted him to have his fortune read, for fear of heartbreak. On the other hand, a part of you had foolishly hoped that he would have the same option to love like everyone else did.

“You should do it,” Jeremiah nudges you with his elbow. Before you can protest, Lillia’s eyes light up.

“Oh, yes, you should! Here, come sit.”

“Um, I don’t know.” Warily, you gaze over at the fortuneteller, who merely gives you a serene smile. “Is she going to give me someone’s name?”

“No, just a description. She told me my future partner would be someone of noble descent.” Lillia beams, showing off her too-perfect teeth, and suddenly you feel inadequate. You know what she’s implying, even if Xavier doesn’t. After all, there are very few people who would match that description.

So, not wanting to seem like a coward, because the king’s sword is anything but a coward, you step forward, sitting down in the leathery chair. You’re about to reach for your pocket to take out the copper pieces, when Xavier reaches over and places them in the fortuneteller’s palm, giving you an encouraging look that makes your heart sink. Perhaps you should have listened to Jeremiah earlier and called it a night.

When the woman takes your hand, she closes her eyes, running her thumb back and forth against your calluses. Your breath gets stuck in your throat, and you try not to move a muscle. For some reason, it feels like if you so much as twitch, you’ll get the wrong answers, and you’re not even sure what the right answers are.

Her eyes open, piercing yours with a startling gaze. “Fascinating,” she murmurs, “I see three things about your lover.”

To hear that word—lover, instead of spouse or partner, makes your entire face feel hot. Lillia giggles, saying something under her breath that you don’t catch but makes you feel violent tendencies nonetheless.

“First, he is someone held in very high regard by all around him.”

Oh no.

“Second, a longsword is his weapon of choice.”

Oh no.

“And third, you have known him all your life.”

Well, she may as well have just screamed Xavier’s name at the top of her lungs.

Everyone is silent for a few seconds. There is a heavy pause in the air, because who else could she be referring to? Who else fits that exact description? All Lillia was told was she’d be with someone of noble descent, which could be at least a few people. The painful beating in your chest is onset because there is only one person that your fortune fits.

You know it, he knows it, even Jeremiah and Lillia know it.

So you do the only thing you can do. You calmly stand up, offer the fortuneteller a tight-lipped smile, and turn on your heel and run.

Behind you, a few different people call your name, though you note distinctly that Xavier isn’t one of them. After that, even if other people are still recognizing you and trying to get your attention, you can barely think straight enough to identify their voices, let alone respond. You run, out of the town square, out of the festival, out of the sight of anyone who could possibly perceive you.

You run as far as you can before your legs start aching, which, unfortunately for you, takes a long time with your endurance training. By the time you feel even a twinge resembling pain, you’ve already made it a far distance away from the celebration, near the seamstress’ shop.

With gritted teeth, you heave yourself over the fence, knowing you’re more than welcome in her garden. It’s luscious, orange and lavender chrysanthemums in the center stealing the spotlight from all the other flowers. Instead of going towards them, you curl up next to the lilies, because you already feel unremarkable enough.

It’s not that you think Xavier would be disgusted by you. The two of you are friends—but that’s exactly it, the major problem of having feelings for him. Besides the fact that you are supposed to brandish your sword in his name, you cannot like him because you’d rather die than lose your best friend. You couldn’t even say how long you’ve known him, but you do know that he’s the best part of your life. Not for anyone would you bow your head. Not for anyone would you lay your life down. You’ve observed Xavier for years and years and there is not a single other person in the royal family that you would follow into any battle, through any world, past any planet.

You groan, burying your face in between your knees. At some point in between the months Lillia first asked you about him and now, you’ve gone beyond just considering him as more than a friend. You’ve even got past having a measly crush on him.

You’re in love with Xavier, and it’s awful.

Breathing slowly, you gaze up at the night sky, where the fireworks have still not made their appearance. The wind teases the flowers around you, making them tilt a little to the left, which is oddly how you feel too. Not uprooted, but bent, just like a flower.

With a blade of grass in between your fingers, you follow the direction the flowers are blowing in, only to find yourself staring at shining ceruleans.

“Xavier!” you gasp, eyes widening with a start. You move to stand as a reflex, but he raises a single hand, and you stop.

There isn’t a single bead of sweat on his face. He is breathing a little raggedly, and his uniform is stained with some sap he must’ve not been able to avoid from the bushes on the way over. His face—well, his face is pristine as always, there isn’t a moment when the prince of Philos looks anything less than dreamy. But it’s not his features you’re gazing at, but the concerned expression upon them, directed straight at you, with caring eyes and pinched brows.

You almost want to cry just at the thought you’ve worried him.

“Are you alright?” His voice is quiet, cautious, fragile. Like you may break if he’s too forceful in his questioning.

“Yes, fine,” you reply automatically, though you suppose you now have to make up a story for why on Philos you ran away like a child, especially because he sits next to you, knees raised in the same manner as yours.

“I was merely…overwhelmed, by the crowd.” The explanation sounds weak even as your tongue speaks it, but you cannot think of any other reason for your actions. At least this is easier than the truth. Anything is easier than the truth.

For a few seconds, there is silence, and as uncomfortable as this already is, you can’t bear it. So you turn to look at him, and you realize with burning cheeks you realize he is staring right back. You don’t even think he’s looked at the blossoming flowers even once; his head seems to be fixated in your direction.

“I know you constantly score better than me,” Xavier says softly, “but I am not foolish.”

With a hesitant hand, as though he’s asking for permission, he reaches up to once again adjust the flower crown on your head. Your heart falls, and you really should’ve known better to think Xavier could not read you like an open book, especially after a fortuneteller quite literally did read you like an open book.

“I know,” he continues, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “that the people in our classes, the nobles, the folks in the marketplace, they all hold me in high regard.”

“Xavier,” you try to argue weakly, already feeling your heartbeat speed up from where this conversation is going. The thought of losing him, of losing your best friend, your prince, your everything, it is paralyzing. “Please don’t—”

“I know that my weapon of choice is a longsword.”

“Stop,” you whisper.

But he doesn’t, and he looks directly into your eyes with an open, honest sincerity written all over his face. Like this is his truth, even though it is yours. “And I know that you have known me all your life, and I feel that I have known you for even longer than that.”

Your lower lip trembles. Never once did you take him for the cruel type. There is no rule nor reasoning for this, to utterly expose your feelings even more and mock you for them, and if you sit here any longer you’re afraid you will begin to sob, and then not only will your friendship with Xavier be at risk, but your future position as well. The grandis knight cannot be weak. The grandis knight cannot shed tears for such silly matters as love.

To preserve your role, to preserve your reputation and your dignity, you make to stand, to run even farther this time, but Xavier holds your wrist before you can, tugging you back to face him. There is no cruelty in his expression, in fact there is a tenderness as though he is somehow touched by your very clear devotion to him.

His finger tilts your chin up, unwittingly making you demand a respect you don’t believe you deserve right now. His brow is pinched, as though he’s upset that you would let anyone, even him, turn you soft as a dandelion.

“I also know,” he breathes, “that this kingdom finds you incredibly lovely.”

The world seems to stop.

“As…” Xavier’s hand rests itself on your cheek, and the most beautiful smile lights up his face as he murmurs, “Do I.”

You lean in the same time he does, and faintly you hear fireworks erupt as you kiss the prince of Philos for the first time.

The world is quiet, and so, so, so loud. Blood rushes to your face and to your ears, and you ignore it by placing both your hands on his cheeks, whimpering softly at how good he tastes. Every burning feeling and sensation you’ve felt in his presence these past few months, and really, your entire life, all seem to explode in this moment. The world is blue, and white, and Xavier.

His lips move so gently against yours, once again acting as though you are fragile, but it feels good this time, the idea of being something so precious as to require care for him. His thumb rubs soft circles into your cheek, you can barely pull away from him to assure him that he can be more forceful if he wishes, more wanting, more greedy.

“Please,” he whispers against your lips, asking for what you aren’t sure, but you nod your head regardless, because you’d think you’d give him your very soul if he were to ask.

When you do pull back, he is looking at you so longingly it makes you more breathless than even dancing you did earlier. His gray-blonde hair nearly conceals his eyes, so you brush it from his face, breath hitching at his proximity. You’ve always known that he’s the apple of everyone’s eye, but you’ve never had the privilege to admire him so closely before.

“I don’t need a fortuneteller to tell me who my partner is.” Xavier rests his forehead on yours, eyes closing. “Whether it’s for sparring, or marriage, or anything else. You are the only one I want with me, through everything.”

You’re surprised you can even muster words when you shyly respond, “Likewise, my liege.”

His eyes shine, and the two of you finally look up to admire the fireworks bursting across the sky in incredible explosions of color. They pale in comparison to the eruption within you, but they are magical nonetheless, and you lean your head against his shoulder to watch.

A gentle kiss is placed on top of your head. “I know we only celebrate this once a year. It is a special time. Still…” He meets your gaze again, and the corners of his lips turn upwards. Tonight, there is only you and him now, you’re sure of it. “Would you mind terribly if we were to ignore the fireworks?”

Maybe one day you will learn to resist him. You sincerely doubt it, though.

“Not at all. But the seamstress and her kids will probably be back soon.” You place a begrudging hand on his chest, not wanting to stop him, but trying to act proper regardless. “Neville checks on the garden every night. He might see us.”

Xavier seems to consider this for a second.

“Oh well,” he mumbles, leaning in to kiss you again, “what a shame.”

He doesn’t sound very sorry at all, and amidst the soft glow of moonlight, you surrender to him, lost in your very own little celebration of lights.

a/n: if i had a nickel for everytime i’ve written a character x reader story where they’re at a party and they dance together but then leave to have a nice moment by themselves i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

#love and deepspace #l&ds #love and deepspace xavier #xavier x reader #xavier x mc #xavier #lads #xavier fic #lads x reader #lads xavier #l&ds x reader #l&ds fic #xavier x you #xavier x y/n #valkyrie stories

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punksocks · 8 months

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Astrology Observations No.22: Lilith Edition Pt.2

*just based on my experiences only take what resonates

-Lilith house could show why someone wants to possess and “tame” you :

In 1st you just exude Lilith energy and a lot of mascs see that as a challenge -a challenge they want to feel dominate over (a fool’s fallacy tbh); 2nd your physicality is striking and they want it all to themselves; 3rd your fierce intelligence and academic reputation; 4th your nurturing abilities and how you exude dark femininity but you could be someone who could take care of them; 5th you seem totally wild and carefree and you know how to have fun; 6th your health and your passionate work ethic that make you come across as unstoppable; 7th I thought of that lyric “I’m so indecisive/ you can’t cuff me but I’m wifey” a lot of people see you as someone that will balance them out perfectly; 8th your s*x appeal and how your raw energy seems totally intoxicating; 9th your worldly air and how no one can stop you from speaking your truth; 10th your polarizing but memorable and powerful impact in public- you give off boss babe energy in such an effortless way; 11th how you seem like you have a lot of haters or ride or die friends; 12th your addictive aura and otherworldly untamable energy.

-Lilith conjunct your Lilith in a sex symbols chart could make you feel inspired by their style/attitude - by sign or house placement (A BUNCH of femmes I look up to have Lilith conjunct MC too)

-Lilith in Libra is a strong feminist placement- it’s the way they strive for balance even when it can be seen as taboo (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has this placement and it’s conjunct her Sun, Mercury, Mars and MC !)

-Lilith in fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) tend to be feminists too. (It’s the “there’s no man alive who can tell me what to do” principe in their attitude)

-(light TW) in general I feel like Lilith harsh aspects, and like Lilith in hard signs (Scorpio, Capricorn, etc) and houses (8th, 12th) can make the native wary around men, usually after trusting the wrong one :/ (whatever happened was never your fault and that wrong one was just a a bad guy, I’m sorry)

-Hell I’ve had -dicey- experiences with -not so great guys- so I’ll also note that to a lesser degree it can apply to fixed Lilith signs (Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius, Taurus), and Lilith harshly aspecting 1st/7th/10th and maybe 4th.

-I totally almost got a sugar daddy a lifetime ago lol but I got afraid of getting human trafficked lol and ran off in the opposite direction Lilith square/opposition Asc bby (I’d guess Lilith conjunct, trine, and sextile Asc/2nd/10th would roll with this more easily if they wanted to)

-Said it an 18+ post, but it’s not an adults only observation imo - other girlies with fire/water Lilith placements have guys hit on them when they’re upset? (I used the example of like getting lost and heading to meet my family and an older guy tried to get me to go to his hotel room, but also more recently I -temporarily- lost my wallet and while I was searching in a panic not one but two guys hit on me :x like you’re not helping dude wtf)

-the element/sign of your Lilith can reflect someone’s sort of shadow reactions to you

Lilith in Aries could make a lot of guys compete with you; Lilith in Taurus would have someone try to buy their way into intimacy with you/try to control your finances; Lilith in Gemini would make a lot of people jump to correct you/undermine your intelligence; Lilith in Cancer could have people force you to nurture them in a sort of motherly way; Lilith in Leo could make people compete with you for attention or at worst try to trick you into having kids; Lilith in Virgo could point to people trying to micromanage you and restrict your routines; Lilith in Libra could point to people trying to tarnish your beauty and throw you off balance/force you to balance them out; Lilith in Scorpio can be scary because it points to people trying to force themselves on you/s*xually dominate you or causing your trauma in general; Lilith in Sagittarius could point to people trying to restrict your freedom/force religion on you; Lilith in Capricorn could mean that people try to sabotage your work reputation/public image; Lilith in Aquarius could point to others trying to restrict your uniqueness and trying to dull your outstanding qualities; Lilith in Pisces can point to others trying to get you addicted to substances/attacking you with their negative energy.

(I have Lilith in Leo and now years after I settled down I’ve finally realized that a lot of guys that made jokes about having kids with me and getting me to skip birth control and running off an eloping …we’re not joking) (yikes, bullets dodged)

-Ok bc we live in a society I feel like the constant overarching theme with strong Lilith energy is less that it’s bad when a dude likes you and more that some guys get so into you that they’re obsessed and also hate you but will still do anything to trap you and when men don’t need any incentive to act out, that’s so scary. Like it’s power that cuts both ways.

Now, of my favorite pieces of obscure art as a Lilith girly :0 (Thank you for asking me about this @corvoidea!)

-Zola: a str*pper meets a potential best friend and the chick tries to highkey human traffic her, it’s insane and based off of a true story (the aesthetic and everything are so good too, it’s one of my favorite movies)

-Sanctuary: this movie just came out this year but I love it so much?? It’s about a s*x worker whose main client wants to fire her because he’s about to inherit his dad’s company. And she fights back. Unexpected ending. Sort of a Lilith love story. Really funny through out.

-Paprika: my favorite animated movie? Ever?? It’s about a scientist and her alter ego that moves in and out of dreams, solving people’s subconscious problems. Then the dream tech gets stolen and things go haywire. A visual marvel fr.

-Cabaret: a movie musical about the cabaret scene in 30s Germany through a club singer trying to love to good life as things get darker all around her.

-Chicago: Another great musical all about getting famous from m*rder because of the protagonist’s feminine ways. (so good, the music is just *chef’s kiss* and Queen Latifah is in it!)

-Crazy Ex Girlfriend: a musical comedy tv show, it’s like a fun deconstruction of trying to live like you’re in a romcom. (So it’s really about mental health and all that, and it’s funny!)

And some songs I love:

Girls is all about just vibing and embracing that divine feminine

I got really into feminist punk rock (aka Riot Grrrl) when I was like a tween finding out how I wanted to express myself, I always recommend Sleater Kinney and Bikini Kill. This song is like Madonna vs Wh*re and I love it :

-idek how to explain this song lol but it’s soooooo gooood

The singer from Bikini Kill started a different band that’s also so cool and punky:

Omg this song about dealing with a f*ck boy and bonding over it I love this song:

I love how Junglep*ssy says /Ain’t a damn thing A man think gonna drive me crazy/ (Google these lyrics they’re everything and the song is a vibe):

This is my song for when I was running around with dudes I thought were tolerable enough but not great lol, I literally played this song for my friends once in college and I was like Ah, yes my creed lol (I got nicer, it’s still a fun song) :

The lyrics: /I wanna hold a seance For every heart I’ve broken Put them all in a room And say “get over it”/ and the lyric /And when I first met you I wanted to kiss you And I I wanted to need you And now I’m forgetting why I tried/ (so good):

A song to describe some of the -weird behavior- I’ve caught lol, cathartic to hear tho:

#astro observations #astroblr #astro notes #astro community #astrology #lilith astrology #astroloji #lilith aspects #lilith #spotify

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allamericansbitch · 8 days

Text

since y'all seemed to want this.... here's the live notes i took while listening to each song for the first time (bold are thoughts i had during later listens)

fortnight:

‘i was a functioning alcohol till nobody noticed my new aesthetic’ what the fuck does that even mean…

love the fact she gave post the female collab treatment. don’t wanna hear what he has to say.

they’re voices sound actually good together?

some pockets of the melody are catchy

okay i don’t hate this

ttpd:

her red flags are on fire in this song lol

this seems very half-cooked

also jacks weird mixing continues to plague us all

CHARLIE PUTH???? WHAT THE FUCK WHY HE HERE

tattooed golden retriever??? ……no way

my boy breaks all his favorite toys:

i blinked and it’s half over

this also is like… half cooked and didn’t need to be released tbh

i love the way she sings the second verse tho

down and:

the production does not match the vibe

did tpain produce this

i’m… kinda bored lol

like i have nothing to say this also didn’t need to be released tbh

this grew on me a lot actually

so long london

the production is so futuristic?

oh im obsessed with how she sounds on this one

her talk-singing in the verses is great

honest lyrics without any clunky unnecessary metaphors! a win!!

the fast-paced verses with th slow chorus is really really cool

a favorite so far

daddy i love him

i can barely hear her? the bad mixing continues

‘growing up precociously sometimes means not growing up at all’ oh yeah WE KNOW

is this…… is this about her dating matty and loving how people hate him… no fucking way she’s this stupid

SHE IS BEING THIS STUPID

‘it’s white noise’ yeah yeah that’s exactly how id describe him

.... anyway y'all remember when fans really believed the little mermaid theory and this song was supposed to be about how 'joe stole her voice' lmaooo

we will pretend this one doesn't exist!

fresh out the slammer

are we getting another ‘i didn’t cheat technically’ song lol

what is this weird tempo change….

okay kinda catchy

it’s sounds exactly like you are in love at the end….. jack is really out of tricks

florida

‘my friends all smell like weed or little babies’ what the fuck is she even talking about anymore

i’m sorry but i’m laughing at the phrase ‘fuck me up florida’

again the production sounds so detached from the vocals

i honestly still have no idea how i feel about this one

guilt as sin

an real instrument?? wow crazy

okay she’s kinda cute? catchy and fun, love the melody

i love when she goes up at the end of the vocal

okay…. i don’t mind this one she’s catchy, a little too long and drawn out but cute

who’s afraid of little old me?

what is this production? it’s way too soft to be as threatening as they’re trying for

why did jack push her vocals back so far when she’s supposed to scream…. that’s ruins the whole thing…. she’s supposed to be screaming and threatening….. not quiet and far away…. hello

this song is trying very hard to be threatening but it’s not... vigilante shit 2.0

‘you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum they raised me’…………… upper middle-class pennsylvania?

‘i’m drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all say, that’ll sue you if you step on my lawn’ okay bar?

the bridge was good but that’s about it.

i can fix him

…………… not another matty song oh god

‘i can handle a dangerous man’…… im too stunned to speak this is so embarrassing

wow taylor really is that girl who like ‘women supporting women’ and then dates/defends a racist bf…. a walking example of white feminism

intersectional feminism found dead.... twice....

loml

okay this is really nice?

I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE SONG WHY DID SHE RUIN IT BY SAYING ‘MR STEAL YOUR GIRL’ 💀

if we ignore that one line we're good this is good. im refusing to let that line ruin such a good song

i can do it with a broken heart

‘bitch smile’ why are there so many cringey lyrics on this album lol

what is this song omg why do i kind of like it

taylor please learn depressed isn’t a synonym for sad

they recycled the mastermind production

wait till taylor finds out most of the entire world is sad while they're doing their job and has to pretend they're not

smallest man who ever lived

oh i think i like this?

‘you said normal girls were boring’ GIRL AND YOU DIDNT IMMEDIATELY GET UP AND LEAVE??? EWWWW??? she's not beating the pick-me allegations

'i just wanna know if rusting my sparking summer was the goal' okay love that line

i like this a lot

the alchemy

no….. no way this is real

i cannot

THE SPORTS METAPHORS WE JOKED SHED DO THAT AND SHE ACTUALLY DID IT OH NO

touchdown ✅ teams ✅ benches ✅ winning streak ✅ the league ✅

she’s doing…… the worst thing ever this is so laughable

the corny lyrics are on overload

‘this time it’s heroine with an e’ didn’t she write folklore? i can’t remember

that literally was an snl parody of a taylor song

clara bow

love how the guitar sounds… bet money this is an aaron track

a stevie nicks reference!! a win!!!

i like this one a lot no cringey lyrics yet

nope never mind she name-dropped herself don’t like that

overall really liked it tho

the black dog

i think i like it?? this is kind of what i expected the album to be

okay for once the weird production choices kind of pay off

imgonnagetyouback

kinda catchy?

she loves a fancy car getting wrecked line

the pre-choruses are the best part

this would’ve been better without the jack of it all bc he loves a song that doesnt build to anything

this just comes down to personal preference: i don’t like her lighter vocals with jack’s heavy production (ie most of lover lol)

the albatross

a real instrument!!! production that matches taylor’s voice and is well mixed!!! aaron’s arrived!!

i think it’s solid, has good writing and she sounds great. that's about it.

chloe or sam or…

took me a solid minute to have any semblance of a fuck to know what was going on but okay

okay i love this one

wayyyy more emotive than like… most of the original album

a lot of the 2nd version (or whatever this is lol) are way more emotive, maybe because her voice isnt drenched in reverb so we can actually hear her voice emote better

how did it end

this sounds like an old school adele song?

i love this one too….

her being upset people wanna know what happened but then also feeding it while promoting the album oop

i love the story of this one it's so refreshing

so high school

THE PRODUCTION is so good ugh aaron never fails

the man here is a walking red flag girl and the lyrics are ~not it~ but the production is too pretty to hate it

fuck these lyrics are so bad lol

maybe if i disassociate hard enough i can ignore the lyrics and just listen to the production and vibe

give me a karaoke version of this song and we'd be so back

i hate it here

i mentioned disassociation and she made a whole song about it!!!! this one’s mine!!!!

‘without all the racists’ GIRL HUH

WHAT WAS THE REASON

also... girl don’t act like we don’t know you’re fine with that lololololol

if i had a dime for every time i was liking a song to then have it slapped away because of a bad, out-of-pocket lyric……

thank you aimee

this isn’t grabbing my attention

oh the bridge is interesting

it’s meh

i will never be thanking the people that bullied me thanks tho

i look in peoples windows

what do you mean aaron didn’t produce this??? it’s well-made and has instruments?

i love this one, again a really interesting and unique concept that's very refreshing to hear at this point when a lot of the songs feel repetitive

the prophecy

aaron guitar!!!!

she’s nice i like her

i've really grown to love how she sings this one, the melodies are cool.. however i feel like we've heard the same melody.. like on this exact album... where she upturns at the end of every line...

cassandra

this seems very…. familiar… idk i feel like we’ve covered this (i mean there are 31 songs we’ve already covered everything lol)

this is such an aaron song, that's a classic 'the national' piano

i like her voice in this one tho, sounds good

peter

oh love i love this

now this? THIS feels the most like a taylor swift song

once again she’s at her best with a simple instrument and emotive simple lyrics

the piano reminds me of champagne problems

the bolter

i like this! the chorus is so cute

oh i like that ending line a lot!

she’s cute, a little long and drawn out but cute

robin

i haven’t seen anyone talk about this one

welp…. i literally have no feelings toward this one but sounds pretty!

the manuscript

oh this is soooooooo powerful

i love this concept

her ending the album on another introspective album that sums everything up a la dear reader yep yep!!

if you actually read of this ily 💗

#tp #ttpd lb #kind of lol

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aclowntiny · 8 months

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woo congrats for the 700 followers babe (i hope you don't mind me calling you that!!) i was wondering a reaction of any group that comes to your mind about y/n kissing them and then running away maybe cause they're shy or being playful idkk!! that's the first thing that came to my mind

Of course not babe 😘😆 this is such a cute idea!!! I like this idea for multiple groups tbh but I’ll start with Ateez of course hehe~ Hope this is what you meant!

Ateez When Their Crush Kisses Them and Runs Away

Hongjoong

“I really like this one. Here, listen.” Hongjoong placed the set of headphones in his hands gently over your ears, the rustling sound tickling them before the click of the play button.

Music filled your ears, upbeat sound enveloping you as if you were surrounded. It brought a smile to your face and motion to your head, the joyful bob mirrored in amusement by Hongjoong. He shook his head fondly, watching with interest at your response to the song. You felt shy suddenly, head falling to no longer meet his intense eyes.

When the song ended, you removed the headphones, setting them carefully upon the desk’s slick surface. “Let’s listen to the next one together,” you suggested quietly, still a bit flustered from the way Hongjoong stared at you. Sure, you’d liked him for some time, but you hadn’t gotten that many signs before he looked at you like that, and suddenly you didn’t know how to act.

“I have the perfect one up next,” he agrees with a nod, unplugging the cord of the on-ears and queuing up the following song on the computer.

Upbeat music faded in favor of something soft and glittery, something that almost would’ve been like ASMR had you still listened in surround. The words started, and you could tell it was a love song. The perfect song, huh? What did he mean by that?

Hongjoong’s face was illuminated purple by the room’s LEDs, all his piercings shining lavender and even the deep brown, almost black, of his eyes getting tinted. His gaze was once again fixed firmly upon you as the desperate lyrics swam through the room, and it sent lightning through you.

As if yanked forward by a puppet string you closed the gap between your seated figures, capturing his lips against yours. It was hard to tell if he was responding, though, your brain working despite the soft warmth sending you spiraling. Your chest sunk. Maybe you’d been wrong. Oh, no.

You had to leave. With one final glance at Hongjoong’s deer-in-the-headlights face, you rose from your seat’s padding, feeling it roll away at the sudden push.

"(y/n), wait!"

Gritting your teeth, you swung back around at Hongjoong's bidding, seeing him half-standing with a hand out.

"I'm really sorry I froze up, I'd been planning to make a move at the end of the song for so long, that completely threw me." His look of worry rose into a smile. "In a good way. Can we try again?"

All you could do was nod, prompting him to stand all the way, glancing down and taking your waist when he received a nod from you before pressing his lips to yours, music still swirling around your heads.

Seonghwa

Everything you did was adorable.

You swayed your hips lightly to the music on Seonghwa's speaker as you cracked another egg into a bowl. You two were baking together, a simple, domestic activity that had Seonghwa's heart full. He could barely focus on his dry measurements, his mind full of you, you, you. What could he say? He was head over heels.

You passed by each other in sync, with you grabbing the milk and him the salt before returning to your respective mixing. Maybe he should try and make things more romantic.

When you beckoned him to bring the dry bowl over, he acquiesced immediately, proverbial light bulb going off above his head. "Alright, let's mix together."

You smiled that gorgeous smile. "Sounds great."

Standing behind you, Seonghwa took a hold of your hand, gaze falling shyly from your smile as you turned back toward the bowl, his hand guiding yours in swirls as you gradually added his half of the mixture to yours. Far too soon in Seonghwa's mind, though, the batter started to look incorporated.

"Does that look..." You turned, inadvertently pressing closer to him as you peered innocently into his eyes, face inches from his as the last part of your sentence came out quieter. "...good?"

Seonghwa's lips parted, but before any reply could leave them yours were pressed sweetly against them. His eyelashes fluttered and his chest soared, but a mere second later you were pulling back away, sinking down against the counter on bent knees.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me! That just looked like a movie scene, and- and I-"

Bending down to eye level with you, Seonghwa nodded encouragingly. "Don't worry, I felt it too. Do you want to do it again or is that just me?"

Yunho

From the peripheries of your vision, you saw Yunho tugging at the thick blue blindfold around his eyes. "No peeking," you chastised.

"All right, but how far do I have to go for the center?" Yunho responded, one hand tightly holding yours.

"Just a few more steps," you replied, tugging him a bit further, "in fact, I think that's good. Everyone ready?"

The rest of the group called out affirmatives, spreading for the game of blind man's bluff. Yunho was 'it', the one who would grope along after you all as you darted away from his hands.

Of course, that's how it should have gone, but Ateez was no normal group. Jongho had climbed onto the table and Yeosang was under a chair. The rest kept running up to tease him with actions ranging from speaking right into his ear and running off to slapping his butt. And that gave you a great idea. Well, not the butt thing. Not yet at least...

You'd wanted to make a move for some time now. You and Yunho were always so playful with each other, joining in on each other's antics and having giggly slappy fights you couldn't help but see as breaks to the touch barrier. So what better opportunity to push your luck than when the man was blindfolded?

Running up at his side, you stood on your tiptoes and crashed your lips against his, smiling even as he jumped back a bit, startled. It took everything you had to suppress laughter, but his next words helped.

"That better have been (y/n)," Yunho remarked, head tilted.

"Who else would have done that?" You shot back. too incredulous to overthink if you were about to be rejected.

"I dunno," he shrugged, still blindfolded, "Wooyoung or something?"

"Does he ever-"

"No!" Yunho cut you off, nose wrinkling beneath the fabric across its bridge. "Gross! And he knows I like you! Which I can say now given my optimistic assumption my feelings are requited."

"Yes," you stepped closer, placing a hand on his shoulder and moving your face inches from his, "yes, they are."

"Good!" He exclaimed, grinning. "But also..." His hands snaked tightly around your middle, lifting you off the ground. "I got you! You're it now!"

Yeosang

“Here we go- one for you and one for me.” With a bright smile, Yeosang handed you one of the ice cream cones in his hands.

It was a beautiful day, the perfect day to take a walk, and of course it didn't take much persuasion to get Yeosang over to the ice cream stand with you. Having time together like this was rare, so you wanted to milk it for all it was worth, drawing out what could be a simple wend through the park with the man who gave you butterflies.

Butterflies indeed, you thought as he dug happily into his ice cream like an eager little boy, continuing his description of the last book he'd read.

"But was it sad though? I don't want to read it if it's really sad."

"No way! The ending was perfect in my opinion. The characters went through everything they needed to." Another smile into the sunshine. Another bite of ice cream.

That time, though, the cone cracked and a little bit of the sweet dessert dribbled onto his lip, which stuck out in a little pout. Yeosang looked so cute, your brain blanked. Complete zero thoughts, head empty, just Yeosang. Without you even realizing it, your lips had fallen onto his, kissing the ice cream off of them.

It wasn't until the butterflies buzzed again, begging you to let yourself get even more carried away, that you even realized what you'd done, backing away immediately with wide eyes.

"I'm so sorry," you gasped, turning and walking away, butterflies now stabbing into your fluttering heart with shock and shame.

"D-do you like me?" You heard Yeosang's voice at your back, but you couldn't bear facing him again, just nodding your burning head, eyes squeezed shut and ice-cream-free hand covering half your face.

His hand on your shoulder almost made you jump. "Why are you getting shy now, huh? You're so cute."

Your hand shot up all the way, burying your whole face. He thought you were cute?

"How can I see your face again? Do I have to kiss you, too? Alright, gladly," Yeosang whispered, kissing your cheek.

San

San felt lucky that day- you two were at the arcade together. He'd liked you for a few months now, but couldn't tell how you felt. Making a move felt too risky. What were the odds you felt the same? Probably not great, especially since you were friends with all of Ateez. You easily could have liked another member, but no matter what San was eternally grateful for your friendship, the easy feeling he got when he was with you. Even though his heart raced every time you smiled, it was never stressful when you talked. You'd made it clear that he could talk to you about anything and even confided in him, too, which just proved it.

It was healing to see you so happy and excited, practically yanking him over to every game you wanted to play. You’d already kicked his butt at whack-a-mole, though his victory at the shooting gallery was clear. None of it was about winning, though. Not for him.

That was until the pair of you stumbled upon the claw machine, your eyes sparkling with excitement and lips curling widely upward in joy. Two little squishmallows of your favorite animal sat amongst the cuddly rainbow of prize options, and anyone with eyes could see it was love at first sight. San would have given anything to get you that plushie, even every last game credit he had.

“Your wish is my command,” he remarked dashingly as he swiped the play card, lighting up the crane’s lining.

“Oh, San, these things are usually rigged, though. I don’t want you to run out of play over it!”

“Then I’ll just have to win it right away, huh?” He shot back with a dimpled grin, deftly angling the gripper over your beloved squishmallow. Pressing the button, he sent it down, plucking the adorable round plushie up…

…and back down, this time considerably closer to the prize depot. Fire blazed in San’s eyes as he swiped his card again. He heard you giggle at his intense expression as he leaned closer to the smudged glass of the claw machine as if trying to become one with the mechanics of it. He twitched the claw back and forth a bit, then with a nod of satisfaction sent it back down, securing your prize and dropping it right through the plastic square trap door of victory.

You leapt for joy, giving that smile that made his heart leap as you reached through the prize door and cuddled your gift to your chest, repeating thanks to San again and again.

He smiled, opening his mouth to day you’re welcome, but was cut off by your lips on his. He froze, every thought and command flying out if his brain until he saw you flush and step back, uncertainty written all over your face as you still held your prize.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, shaking your head, “I just got excited. But I really appreciate-”

“No, no, wait!” Waving his hands, San panicked, words falling clumsily from his lips. “I’m sorry, that was so terrible, I’ve liked you forever so I just got really nervous! Kind of ruined that, didn’t I?”

Your lips parted again in shock, several heartbeats passing before you smiled and shook your head. “It’s like the claw machine, right? Practice makes perfect. I like you, too, San. Well, obviously,” you giggled, and just like that San’s heart picked up again despite that feeling of comfort and rightness returning.

Looks like you guys had both won the jackpot that day.

Mingi

“Give it back!"

Mingi had snatched your phone, which you’d made the mistake of leaving lying flat atop the coffee table in his shared apartment, and ran with it, leaning into the boon of his long legs. He turned back even as he legged it, giving you a wide, boyish smile before sticking his tongue out.

“Come get it,” he giggled in response, breathy from the clear exertion of how hard he sprinted, tearing tightly around a corner.

Smirking, you turned on your heels, running back the other way to cut him off. The look on his face was priceless as you emerged into the room he barreled towards simultaneously, facing one another. His jaw dropped and hands waved, but your triumph didn’t end, not even when you collided, toppling to the floor.

Heat rushed to your face. You had a crush on Mingi, and though you didn’t know if it was returned, the tension of the day’s flirting welled up in your chest, spilling over as you leaned in from your position on top of him, connecting your lips.

The moment you parted, though, you saw how wide his eyes were and panicked, feeling like you’d overstepped. Scrambling off of him, you made to leave, muttering an apology, but his hand closed around your wrist gently. His strength was still enough to stop you in your tracks without yanking you back over.

“Where are you going?” He smiled at you, stars in his eyes. “I need to kiss you back, right?”

Wooyoung

Prey in sight. Target locked.

Wooyoung was the victim of many prank attempts by you, the latest one being sliding up behind him and stealing his phone. Creeping up toward him, you rose up on your bent knees, hand sliding slowly toward the piece of technology in his hand. His hand that immediately reached behind him and slapped yours out of the way.

"Ha! Caught you again!"

"No fair," you pouted, "how did you even see me?"

"I know your M.O.," Wooyoung countered, smiling triumphantly and then sticking his tongue out at you, "there's nothing you can do that surprises me."

Frustration of multiple kinds ballooned in your chest as he smirked at you, challenge glinting in his eyes. You would do anything, anything, to wipe that look off of Jung "Smug" Wooyoung's face. You know what? Great idea, you realized.

"Oh yeah?" You challenged, stepping closer.

"Yeah," he dug his heels in, crossing his arms.

You stood up straight, lunging forward and crashing your lips against his. It was your turn to smirk into the kiss as he returned it immediately, almost desperately. Well, shoot. Guess all that flirting he'd done had been for real. Good to know.

Right as Wooyoung started picking up the pace, though, you separated again, running back down the hall you'd initially snuck down.

"Hey!" He protested.

"Guess I did surprise you after all, huh?" You fired back as you ran, turning to see with great satisfaction that Wooyoung was chasing you. No way he was going to let you get away with that.

Jongho

You didn’t realize it at the time, but you were dreaming. One of the best dreams you’d ever had, you would later reflect.

Choi Jongho, the handsome, stoic, effortlessly funny man you’d fallen head over heels for, had just confessed to you, pulling you into a kiss that had your head spinning harder than any prior fantasy had. The dream was vivid, too, full of sight and sound and sensation so much that it pushed you a bit past perception of reality.

So, when a hand upon your shoulders gently shook you awake, a voice you recognized even in half-sleep as Jongho whispering your name, you responded how you thought was in kind.

By leaning in and pressing your lips to his. Sleep left you further as he hummed in confusion, pulling away and repeating your name, this time questioning, inquisitive, faintly scandalized. Some of the added gravity to his voice had your half-lidded eyes fluttering further open, veil lifted as you blinked at Jongho’s wide eyes, pursed lips, and red ears.

What had you done? Every neuron in your brain called out for you to flee, bury away your shame and scandal forever. Each muscle in your body agreed, but had trouble following suit as you clumsily wrestled with the blanket that had been draped over you upon the couch, fabric catching your feet until you flung it to the floor, pushing up to a seated position and up, swaying to run away.

“Whoa, whoa!” Jongho held out a protective hand. “You just surprised me is all. Let’s talk about this, what happened?”

“Nothing,” you shook your head, unable to look him in the eye, “I was having a stupid dream. That’s all.”

“Is that what you call stupid?” Jongho asked, tone still even as always, but colored with the faintest hint of incredulity. “I would call something like that a very good dream.”

Your eyebrows shot up, gaze returning to his. “You would?”

“Sure,” he shrugged, “felt pretty good to me. But I suppose it wasn’t me in the dream, was it?”

Your chest ballooned at the actual palpable disappointment you saw in his face, heard in his voice. You…actually had a shot here?

“Ok, so you’re not gonna believe this-”

Not exactly the most romantic start to your next kiss, but hey, it sure did the trick.

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #hongjoong #seongwha #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #gender neutral reader #fluff #requested #jacobbaeluvr #moots 💕

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