#if there is a god why does it hate me so much

[gyuswhore]

Never Shall We Die [teaser]

«« Nothing is too outlandish when it’s a life of liberty on the line »» 

PAIRING: kwon soonyoung x reader

PLAYLIST: right here!

SYNOPSIS: Deadliest pirate on the high seas or a damn fool?

The stupid King and his men have snatched Hoshi's precious pirate ship with their too clean, too soft hands; grounds to question his own vices. Except, when he and his crew land in the quarters of a navy ship, revenge on their roster, they stumble across a princess in its gallows.

Hoshi wonders if he's just struck gold, or if you'd become the final tread to his downfall.

GENRES: pirate!au, enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut [minor dni], some pirates of the carribean vibes but ? idk

WORD COUNT [full fic]: est. 30k | [teaser]: ~1k

RELEASE DATE: est. May 19th, 2024 - may change

‼️PLEASE SEND AN ASK OR REPLY TO THIS POST TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST (ageless blogs WILL NOT BE ADDED)‼️

masterlist

WARNINGS [!is subject to change upon publishing of the full fic!]: slowburn, being taken hostage, knives, bombs, and guns, mentions of blood, mentions of SA (does not happen and it is not explicitly mentioned), alcohol, mentions of death (patricide), hoshi is ✨selectively moral✨but kind of moral nonetheless, smut tags to be added in the full fic

[AN]: hai i am back with another monstrosity 😃 biggest thank you to @highvern for brainstorming with me and beta-ing for me, this fic would not exist without her!!!!! im super excited for this to come out, its my best work yet and i hope you all like it too!!!!

teaser under the cut!

“Did your stupid father drop you on your head as a baby?” 

Hoshi stands before you under the light of the midnight moon, an incredulous expression on his face. You try to keep the scowl off your own but it proves difficult when his voice pierces your skull. 

You ignore him from your position on the floor, “I know my father, and I know he loathes you enough to finally want you and your incompetent crew gone for good.”

He scratches his chin, “Can’t be that incompetent if he hates us so much.”

“I can help you.”

“You were ready to die than to be on the same ship as us a few hours ago. What’s changed?”

“Perspective,” you shrug in an attempt to remain nonchalant. 

“Are you gonna go back to wailing in the morning then?” 

God, this was going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. 

“You want your ship back and you were hoping for someone less important to exchange it for. But you’re stuck with me and you know it’s not going to end well for you. You need my help.” 

“Why so merciful, miss princess? Are you not on your father’s side?” 

You gulp as discreetly as possible.

“I want something in exchange.”

He raises his eyebrows, staring at you to continue. 

“I want you to kill my father.”

If his eyebrows were raised before, they’ve broken for the skies now. He leans his head back, eyes closing for a moment before reopening, reigning back to you before asking very gracefully; “What?” 

“I want you to kill my father.”

“No, I got that bit,” he snaps. “Your father as in, the King?”

“Yes, as you’ve pointed out far more times than anyone else.” You can’t help but roll your eyes despite the weight of the situation and the hammering in your chest. 

He stares at you in an expression you can’t quite read, and it unsettles you deeply. For a moment, you wonder if you’ve gravely miscalculated, watching as he moves around the mast you’re tied to. Out of the corner of your eye you see the metal glint of a dagger, and you nearly short circuit. 

Is he about to cut my hands off?

You feel a distinct tug at your wrists, the sound of slicing, and the voice in your head asking why it didn’t hurt. 

Suddenly your hands are free, intact and free as you achingly bring them in front of you, wincing audibly at the pain of moving them after so long. 

“You can jump into the water if you’d like, I won’t stop you.” He walks back over, sitting cross legged opposite you, at eye level. 

“What?”

“You’ve clearly gone mad, I’ll find another way to get my ship back.”

“I’m being serious.”

“Of course, and I utterly enjoy having a kingdom’s worth of blood on my hands. Shall I take the entirety of the court down while we’re at it?”

“Why are you acting like you’re above murder? Another part of your strange moral code?” 

“No, no, not above it at all. But I like my head and rather not have it guillotined. They might skim over the death of some too-nosy soldier but I doubt they’d leave me be after I put a bullet between the King’s eyes.”

“I’ll protect you.”

He looks at you for a moment, “Quite reassuring.” 

You sit up straighter, licking your lips as you prepare yourself. “My father isn’t a good man.”

The pirate captain snorts, “Oh, I’m well aware.”

You try not to stare too hard at the still unsheathed dagger that he digs into the floorboards, knifing out splinters in disregard. 

“My father doesn’t want me home, he wants the crown home. He wants me to be a carbon copy of himself, he wants to be in control long after he’s gone.” You try not to grind your teeth too hard but it’s difficult when your father’s face burns behind your eyelids. “I want control over the throne, full control.”

“And your conclusion is to eliminate him.”

“I don’t have another choice.”

“Then what? You’ll pardon me and my crew after we get our hands dirty for you?” he asks, eyes wide in mock hope. 

“Yes. You can do whatever it is that you sail about doing and no one will be of bother. I might ask you for sparing favours. For a wage of course. But other than that, you can live as lawlessly as you wish.”

“You’re asking me to become your personal lackey?”

“Having a queen’s favour is no small feat I hope you’re aware. Besides, it's a leap better than the hoops you’ve been jumping through during my father’s reign.” 

You realised his face had been shrouded by the dark between your negotiating and the clouds that had veiled the moon. Every moment that was supposed to strengthen your understanding of the man that sat across from you only brought you more confusion. 

“You want your ship and freedom of land and sea,” you continue when it’s silent for a beat too long. “I only ask for a small favour in return.”

“I’d argue the miniscule nature of what you’re asking from me,” he scoffs.

“Nothing is too outlandish when it’s a life of liberty on the line.” 

There crawls in the silence once again, the same one that seems to grab you by the throat for every moment that ticks past undisturbed. 

“We’ll have to see to that,” he says, huffing as he gets back on his boot clad feet. You follow him with your eyes as he walks towards the creaky stairs that lead to the lower deck, utterly confused. 

“Where are you going?” you ask, bewildered at his strange behaviour. 

Turning around, just as he had a mere day ago in your quarters and you feel yourself suppressing a shudder. “I have a crew to consult.”

So he was considering it. 

“But you’re the captain.”

“And?”

#svthub #hoshi fluff #hoshi smut #hoshi angst #hoshi fic #hoshi imagines #hoshi x reader #hoshi #soonyoung smut #soonyoung fluff #soonyoung scenarios #soonyoung imagines #soonyoung x reader #seventeen #soonyoung #seventeen flluff #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #seventeen fic recs #svt #svt smut #svt fluff #svt imagines #svt scenarios #svt x reader #em.writes

[venture4treasure]

“Of course I dream of more”

Words: 952

Premise: Servant!Reader washes Noble!Venture hair. They have a conversation. 

Warnings: A bit of forbidden love and mutual pining, but otherwise nothing! 

“Lay down,” you instruct, gesturing at the cot – the edge of the bed frame is pressed against a tub of water. 

Venture does as you tell them, tilting their head back into the water. They try to look at you, but you’re a bit too far out of their peripheral vision. 

Pulling over a stool to sit down across from Venture, you dip your hand into the tub of water, it’s a pleasant warm temperature. You splash water onto dry locks of hair before reaching to brush back their bangs, submerging them. You’ve barely done anything and you can see dirt muddying the clear water.

“Thanks for making it warm,” Venture relaxes. 

“As opposed to… cold?” You raise a brow, “why would it be cold”. 

“Some of the other servants don’t bother with warm water,” Venture pouts, “I’m starting to think they hate me”. 

“I’m starting to think I might hate you,” you comment, brushing your hand through their hair and watching debris wash out, “how do you even get so much filth into your hair? Weren’t you supposed to be sword training today?” 

Venture laughs awkwardly. 

“Sloan…” you drawl. 

“Well… I may have been helping out in the mines instead today”. 

“The mines? Isn’t that below your station?” 

“They tell some of the best stories! Besides, father doesn’t need to know”. 

You sigh in disbelief, switching to massaging soap into their hair and head. Venture stops themselves from whatever they were planning to say to lean into your touch. You chase off the silence by humming fragments of a song you heard in passing – it’s not good singing but Venture doesn’t mind, they like to hear your voice. 

“So, do you ever think about doing something different from this?” Venture asks, waving their hand in the air.

“What do you mean?” 

“Like, don’t you ever want to try something different? A different line of work, like being a scholar! God, I wish father would’ve let me just study instead of trying to shape me up into some kind of perfect heir to the family – that’s what Mauga’s gonna be anyways!” Venture groans. 

You chuckle at their whining. 

“No, not really,” you answer, “I don’t think there’s anything else I can do to earn money. I am very lucky and grateful to be doing this in the first place”.

Venture goes quiet, their expression drops into a thoughtful one. They turn over the idea of needing money to live in their mind, it’s a concept so far detached from their day to day life, they don’t really understand it. There was always food if they were hungry, nice clothes for any occasion they could think of, and there was always a roof to go home to. Everything they needed was always there within arms reach.

“If you had the money, what would you do?” Venture wonders, both to you and themselves, “like, a lot of money”.

“I’d find a teacher to show me how to read and write,” you answer without hesitation, “and then… maybe I would travel to different kingdoms. I’d like to dance in those big ballrooms at least once. And… I’d probably find someone who treats me well to settle down with, in a nice and safe house close enough to the city market”. 

Venture glances up at you, taking in your face. Your eyes sparkle dreamily, a soft smile on your lips. Their heart aches at the sight combined with your words. 

You shake yourself out of the fantasy, “but my life now isn’t so bad either, it could be so much worse”. 

“What is your life right now?” 

“Right now, I work for your family, it pays enough to support me. One day, I’ll probably marry someone who’ll want kids, and I’ll try to raise them right…” you slightly cringe at your own reality, “protect them if I have to. I just hope I marry someone decent…” 

“You don’t plan to choose?” 

“I don’t really get a choice,” you shrug, “I have nothing to my name, I’ll probably just marry someone like me. Have kids so there’s someone to support me when I grow old. That’s how it usually goes”.

Venture doesn’t like your answers, they want to see you as happy as you were to share your dream. 

“Sit up a bit please,” you nudge them forward, and Venture pulls their hair from the dirty water so you can rinse out the soap. You comb their hair and lightly scratch their scalp as you clean away the soap. 

“Mann, that feels so nice”.

You make a noise of acknowledgement. 

Finally you’re done with their hair – you always forget how much of a pain it is when it gets dirt tangled in it. You wrap a towel over it so it doesn’t drip onto their clothes. 

“Okay, I’m done”, you announce, getting up to stretch. 

 Venture almost makes a noise of disappointment.

“Hey,” Venture calls out your name lightly, “would you like it if I taught you how to read and write?” 

You turn to face them, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “why?” 

They walk over to you, taking your hands into theirs. 

“Because I think you deserve to have a chance at happiness,” they smile, and there’s so much more they want to say, but they keep it to themselves. 

Your face heats up from the touch.

“Ah-” you stammer, “that would be nice, I’d really like that. Thank you”. 

Venture glows at your reaction, smiling wide. 

“Okay, now help me dry my hair, pleaseee,” they beg. 

“You can do that yourself”.

“I’m going to shake”.

“Do not threaten me,” you shoot back.

Venture holds your stare with determination in their eyes and you falter. 

“Okay, fine!” 

Author’s Note: I realized afterward that this setup doesn’t make sense at all and there’s so many logical issues with the concept but I really wanted to write it anyways. Spare me :( 

Mauga is Venture’s older brother in this. 

I just wanted an excuse to write about Venture’s hair. It’s so fluffy and needs to be appreciated. And they most definitely would shake to dry themselves and splash water everywhere. 

#venture fics #venture x reader #venture x you #venture overwatch #overwatch venture #venture #sloan cameron #sloane cameron #overwatch x reader #overwatch fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #what happened… this was meant to be like <500 words #im not going to do art for all of these #just whenever i feel like it :9 #meant to be a lower effort self indulgent drabble in between other works #something soft because my other drafts sure arent

[twost3ps]

Since ya doing au and made Emily Michael and Adam's daughter what about an au where Charlie is Lucifer and Adam's daughter just curious how that would come out of your artistic mind. Love ur art is PEAK bro

AWWW thank you so much!!!! AUSGEHYSGEUSGSUWBSBS

But totes I’ve had thought of this b4. Thank you for giving this prompt so I had an excuse to draw and write it out!!!

An au where Adam and Lucifer are Charlie’s dad… umm well there are a couple of ways this could go….

But the first that comes to mind is the one where Adam falls with Lucifer and they have Charlie. Idk if either Lucifer seahorses it and has the baby or if Adam is the one that carries. Idk first man sure, but yk maybe god was like: hey idk what genitals to slap on this guy so let’s do both and gave him both. When Lilith’s gender was determined, it was a flip of a coin. Adam could have just been the mother if it landed on the other side lol. Or maybe if he falls, god strips him of his title as a man, like Lilith, and swaps his genitals. So basically intersex Adam.

Either way, silly girl Charlie, here ya go! (I don't draw her enough)

Even as Adam's kid, I don't actually think Charlie changes all that much. Personality wise, at least. She is very much like her dad lucifur- a silly lovable dreamer- but some of Adam still leaks through, obviously. She's definitely a mommy's girl, and in this case, I'd like to think Adam is the mom figure. So instead of taking liliths more regal and more elegant choices of fashion and way of goinh, she takes on more of a punk and grunge look with a mix of her original style and a bit more agression.

For her looks I think she'd have dirty blonde hair and it would be short (it's my preference, lol), and her clothes are a bit more... punk? She dresses much more losely imo , def because of Adam. She keeps her horns out for the fun of it and her emo face still kinda stays with her, especially after Adam praising her for her look when she was in that phase. She does some sick eyeliner and eyshadow. She HAS to play an instrument so she knows the bass and strangly enough the keytar. I also think she's a bit chubbier because she maybe shared her dad's appetite idk.

But overall, she is still a sweet girl with a dream to help sinners. She's just way more assertive and quick tempered.

I won't lie, I got inspired by one of my friends' relationships with her dad and both lovingly insult each other to death. They talk about how much they "hate" eachother, but everyone clearly understands that both would die for one another for sure, especially Adam.

He may say something like. "Oh Charlie? Yeah if it were up to me I'd sell her for a new guitar" right infront of her but she's laughing so hard as Adam holds her close in a side hug because she knows he's joking.

Idk how to explain it but ifkyk, they lovingly talk bad about eachother but somehow it makes you understand that they really do love eachother as parent and child.

As for Adam and Lucifurs relationship, I genuinely dunno. I kinda want them to be a bit strained because even after the fall, Adam is still loyal to heaven. He's not lilith, who wants freedom - Adam likes security, and even if rule under heaven is restrictive, atleast hes safe. Charlie, to Adam, is one of the only good things that ever came out of the fall, and he would fall again and again just so she could be his. Like Lilith, Charlie is mainly parented by Adam, but it's because Charlie was the only shining light Adam had down in hell. Overtime Adam and Lucifur possibly heal and truly get together, but when Charlie was really young, they were not an item at all.

Then there are other options of Charlie being Lucifur and Adam's baby-

Charlie is born under an angel Adam and fallen lucifur and Adam decides to take Charlie and raise her in heaven

Adam is in no way related to Charlie, but one way or meets her and kinda just adopts her. Lucifur doesn't know why but Adam stakes claim ig

There are more potential ones but I'm not really a writer or an idea maker lol. IM NOT THAT CREATINVE SJVDEHBSBS But I think that this is just a great concept lolol a bit harder to work with than the secret royal family stuff but still fun to think about overall

I might come back to this one day o3o

#hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel #adamsapple #adam hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x adam #lucifer hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #hazbin charlie

[amirasainz]

okay okay i love the jealous alexandra!! but what about a continuation where it’s bff kika and amira vs alexandra and miss kika throws some hands!! maybe they were out on a girls day like they have kika and amira days and alexandra was there with her bff an iv and they got to shit talking and kika threw some punches, and amira was yelling in spanish like two very jumpy bffs, and pierre and charles are very much like it’d be painful if we hurt them, cause they may just kill us!! love the better girlfriend fic! this series is so so fun ❤️❤️ ( oml and kelly being very proud of her 2 younger wags when she find out )

I'm so sorry but at the end I had to laugh so bad. Please be aware that this is just a fic and not hate towards any persons mentioned. I hope you enjoy reading and send me some requests. -XoXo

The better girlfriend (Part 2)

Amira and Kika, inseparable as ever, embarked on another girls’ day in Monaco. Their bond was more than friendship—it was sisterhood. Kika played the role of confidante, makeup lender, and partner-in-crime during hungover mornings. Sweet “girl-dates” were their specialty, and Kika’s shoulder was always there for Amira to lean on.

But Kika wasn’t just a soft touch. Like any true best friend, she’d throw a punch or two if needed to defend Amira. Loyalty ran deep between them.

On this particular day, they indulged in a four-hour shopping spree, treating themselves to manicures and a relaxing spa session. To cap it off, they settled into a cozy restaurant for lunch, sipping delicious mimosas.

Seated at the back, they paid little attention to the other patrons—until a familiar voice reached their ears. It was one of those moments when fate intervened, weaving their lives together with unexpected threads.

"I honestly don't know what he sees in her." the annoying voice of Alex reached their ears. Amira and Kika shared a look, both of their faces looking unimpressed. "Yeah" was the weak reply from Alexandras best friend, Sarah. To be honest, Sarah wasn't Alex biggest fan at the moment. The whole stunt she did with kissing a man that was not her boyfriend wasn't ok. But going to said ex-boyfriends job and offend his new girlfriend publicly was just borderline crazy. In her opinion Amira is a sweet girl and a good girlfriend to Charles. No wonder that they are Sarah's favourite celebrity couple, but don't tell Alex.

"You should have seen her, she stood there like an idiot. She dresses like a whore. Hell, I bet she even behaves like one" Alexandra continued. "And of course little perfect Amira Sainz had to play the angel again and tell the media that she didn't take my words to heart. Does this bitch even know who I am? My word is law." For gods sake why couldn't she stop talking, thought Sarah.

Meanwhile, Kika and Amira listend to the one-sided conversation. Both girls started getting angrier the more they heard. While Amiras rage was the "I can destroy your life with one sentence" rage, Kika's blood was boiling. "Who does this stupid bitch think she is" muttered Kika.

But when Alexandra confessed she started the internet rumor of Amira having an eating disorder, all rational thoughts left her head. During those horrible rumours, Amira started really struggling Anti-Ferrari fans and Anti-Charles fans took the presented possibility to write her online hate. Besides, starting rumours about serious topics like that is never alright, no matter who it is about. It was a very dark time for Amira.

Before Amira could even comprehend what was happening, Kika stood up and went to the neighbour table. "Hey, girlie" she said to Alex sweetly, before taking her hair and dragging her out of the chair. Alex screeched like an wounded animal, which gained the attention of the other guest and staff. One young waitress recognised the girls and started filming.

Kika pushed her to the floor and started ripping of her fake nails. "You the fuck do you think you are talking to my best friend like that?" Alex and Kika started ringing on the floor. Obviously Kika had the upper hand. Amira, who was still angry, decided to encourage her besties behaviour. "Vamos, Kika. Acaba con esta estúpida zorra." she yelled. Kika shot her a little smile while Alex looked at her in horror. "Eso es, zorra. Toma tu puta opinión y a ver a quién le importa. " Amira said straight to her face, raising an eyebrow.

Kika slapped her one last time across the face, stood up and said loudly: "Can we get our sandwiches to-go, please?" Amira and Kika turned to the filming waitress who answered excitedly: "Girls, it's on the house for you." After paying their mimosas and taking their food, the two left.

Inside the car, Amira hugged Kika tight. "Thank you" she whispered tearfully. Kika didn't say anything back, just hugged her tighter. What the two girl's weren't aware of, was that at this exact moment, their little video fight went viral. And boy, did the fans stand on Kikas and Amiras side.

Bonus (+):

Max and Kelly stood in front of the girls, the video on in the background. They knew Charles and Pierre wouldn't say anything against their behaviour, so they took it upon themselves to be that bad cops.

"I am very disappointed in you two. Instead of talking it out like an adult, you hit her, Kika. And you shouldn't have encouraged her, Amira. As a punishment you both are not allowed to have any girl-days for two weeks." explained Max tiredly. Instead of arguing, both girls silently nodded their heads.

After a moment of silence Max spoke again: "Kelly, don't you want to say anything as well?" "….Bad girls." was her only reply. While Max held his head in his hands, Kelly shot the two of them a secret wink.

#formula 1 #baby!sainz!sister #charles leclerc x reader #pierre gasly x kika gomez x reader #kika gomez x reader #no hate #max verstappen x kelly piquet x reader

[ayedafuq]

Hamzah imagine I’m sorry god

POV: You got invited up to Toronto by your friend (Y/F) who hangs in the same circle as the Slushy Noobz crew, u n Hamzah meet at a party, get a little too tipsy, and you flirt just a taaaad .

——

(Y/F) : bitch come out the room and DRINK

Currently hiding away in her room (where I’ve been a freeloader for the past 2 days), I see Y/F’s text to come and join the pregame she’s having in her living room. She moved from our hometown to Toronto, a place I haven’t been before this, and I’m visiting her for the week. I came up on Wednesday and after our playful time catching up together for the past two days, she decided it’d be a good idea to go out with some of the friends she made. She currently has about 8 people in her living room playing drinking games, and I’m sitting on the floor staring into her full body mirror, ready to go to the bar, nervous as FUCK about meeting her friends.

After ignoring her text for approximately 30 seconds, she comes into the room. “OOOO GURRRRL YOU LOOKIN GOOOOOD” she says. I know she knows I’m nervous.

“Wait close the door” I say to her, and she does. “Dude, what if they don’t like me.” My anxiety is clearly getting the best of me.

“Fuck do you mean what if they don’t like you? You’re quite literally my twin. If they don’t like you then I’ll KNOW they secretly don’t like me. And they love me, so chill the fuck out. Get up” she picks me up out off the ground and pulls me out into her living room.

“Guess who’s heeeerrrree” she says to the group, and they all start to cheer. “There she is!” One of the girls says. A guy chimes in, “The visitor has arrived!”

Y/f drags me around the party to share names, my nerves subsiding. Everyone here is really nice. Why was I even worried?

“Hey, I’m Mandy. I work at the animal shelter with y/f. I’ve heard so much about you!” The girl says. I reply telling her I’ve heard about her too. “Y/f says the only reason she goes there is to pet animals and hang out with you” I tell her. “Yea sounds about right, I do the same thing.”

Me, Mandy and Y/f chat for a couple minutes sharing some laughs and stories, until the guy who chanted earlier and his friend come up. “Y/n, this is my boyfriend Martin. And this is Hamzah, avoid him.”

I give my hellos and introduce myself to Martin. We banter for a quick second before I turn to Hamzah. “Hellooo, I’m Y/n.” I give him a quick smile he returns. “Hey Y/n, how do you like Toronto so far?”

Before I can even answer, Y/f interrupts. “I’m gonna need you guys to shut up and grab a drink. We’re leaving for the bar in 30, and me and Y/n still need to demolish half the party in flip cup. Grab two seltzers from the fridge” she tells me. “You better lock in, I told everyone you never miss a flip.”

—

Two hours later and we’re at the bar, and it’s safe to say I’m feeling preeeetty nice. Her friends are so sweet, and I can’t help but feel so happy that she found these people.

Mandy, y/f, Hamzah and I are standing by a high top table, and I take the liberty in sharing some stories of me and y/f from parties in high school.

“When I tell you I turned my head for 3 seconds and y/f was gone, I mean it. I’m running through the party like a chicken without a fucking head, looking like a maniac asking everyone where she is. Mind you, I’m like 17 and hammered, so I was probably acting like the hulk.”

“Jesus Christ y/n don’t..” she says.

“After 10 minutes where do I find this bitch? Asleep in this random bitch’s closet with her head, quite literally, in a bucket.”

Hamzah and Mandy are cracking up. “You didn’t even know who threw the party?” Hamzah asks between laughs.

“Not a fucking clue. Y/f felt right at home though” I say, giggling myself.

“Girl I hate you, but yea I did. That bucket was my crib. Need to go to the bathroom?” Y/f asks me.

I tell her I’m alright for now, and Mandy tells her she needs to go so they scurry off together.

“Wow, so you guys have been friends for a while huh?” Hamzah says, still smiling from the story.

“Yea, we’ve been through a lot together. She’ll never get rid of me I fear” I say back.

“Damn, that’s awesome. Y/f is super cool, I’m happy she moved up here. When’s it your turn?” He says, his smile becoming more of a smirk. It hasn’t gone over my head that this kid is fucking adorable, but hes been acting pretty shy all night. The sly comment took me by surprise.

“Man I wish I could. It’s been on my mind a lot since she moved here” I reply.

“What’s stopping you?” He asks.

“I guess I’m just scared. It’s a big move, and she’s got the balls to do it. I’m not sure I do.”

“I felt the same way too, I pretty much hauled ass across the country of Canada at 18. I lived out of my car for a bit actually, it was a nightmare. I’d do it all again though, it was the best decision I’ve made. If I could do it, a pretty girl like you could too.”

Pretty girl?

“Pretty girl?” I say back, a little smug. The drinks are getting to me I fear.

“I’m sorry, was that weird?” He gets a little shy again. I giggle to let him know it wasn’t.

“Not at all. Thank you, pretty boy” I playfully shove his arm. I cringe in my head. I gotta be fucking kidding.

“Pretty boyyy I see I see” he says with a smile. “You think I’m a pretty boy?”

“Only a little bit. Like, this much” I pinch my fingers together the closest I can without having them touch.

“Well, thiiiis pretty boy” he mimics my fingers, “thinks you should move to Toronto thiiiis much” he separates them a little more. “Because he’d like to see you more thiiiiis badly” he separates them as far as he can. Damn, he has nice hands.

“Wow that’s pretty badly” I respond. Thank god I have makeup on because this cheesy shit might be making me blush.

“Yea, it’s alarming. Think about it, pretty girl” he tilts his head towards me playfully as he says pretty girl, getting a little close and then backing his head away swiftly. His smirk is fully activated and the eye contact we’re making is pretty hot. I smile back at him with my tongue touching my canine (do yk what I’m talking about like that lil sexy smile), tilting my head slightly to the side as if to say oh, ur flirting with me, noted. and just as I’m about to respond, y/f and Mandy return from the bathroom.

“Stop harassing her Hamzah she’s never gonna want to come back” Mandy says. “Come on, we’re gonna go back to y/f’s and play drinking games. This bar is boring.”

Hamzah follows after Mandy, glancing back at me quickly with a cheeky smile before turning his head. Y/f gets in my ear.

“Hamzah likes you. Mandy can tell. She told me in the bathroom.”

—-

Okay guys hi this is like so bullshit but I was feeling playful idk I hope you enjoyed if you made it this far

-ayev

#hamzahthefantastic #slushy noobz #hamzah x reader #hamzah x y/n #hamzah imagines

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 18/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 19

Update: There will be a change in the chapter upload schedule. New chapters here will be posted MWF starting this week so next update will be on Friday. While TTh are days for me to rewrite and post story 1 chapters on ao3.

Thank you for your understanding <3

-----------------------------------------------

Adam is actually adjusting rather well in Hell which, honestly, baffled Charlie and the others. Lucifer not so much because he's pretty sure Adam was not meant for Heaven but they didn't wanna embarrass themselves by having the first human soul fall in Hell.

And they say Lucifer's the prideful one.

Sure, the dickhead bitches and complains but he deduced the guy would do it regardless of where he was. He always thought that Adam was a lazy ass son of a bitch who's all dick and no brains; like one of those jock characters from Charlie's DVD collection.

Maybe that's why he's adjusting so well. His attitude is very on brand for Hell.

Still doesn't explain this, though.

Lucifer: How are you so good at this? I thought you said you hated it.

Adam: I said I hated it not that I'm shit at it. Besides, who the fuck loves doing paperwork?

Today, Lucifer is at the palace catching up on centuries worth of documents that he missed during this 'me-time'. The Sins initially offered to take over so that he could rest but he insists on doing it himself. He feels bad about relying on the Sins too much every time there's a problem. He's supposed to the older brother! The-uh- King of Hell! And what King can't even do simple paperwork?

Apparently he is, because he and Adam have been at this for days now and the pile just never seem to lessen. He's beginning to think someone has cursed him to be stuck here forever.

Speaking of Adam, Lucifer won't admit it to his face but the other has been a very big help; like they're actually making progress and none of the work is half-assed too.

He can't help but look on in wonder at how the first man is just zooming through the endless papers.

Adam: Oi. I know I'm a fine piece of art but can you stop lookin' at me like that? Take a picture, it'll last longer.

Lucifer: I just can't get my head around all this.

Adam: What's not to get, bruh? You know I'm good at everything; even the boring shit. I handle Sera's when she's too busy doing fuck knows too, you know!

Lucifer: Excuse- what?! You handled Sera's documents?? And she didn't stop you the first time???

Adam: Okay- why the fuck are you acting like that's such a shock?

Lucifer: Helloooooo it's freakin' Sera? It's you? I just-

Lucifer makes an exaggerated gesture of scratching his head in mock confusion.

Lucifer: -is she out of her mind? Did she suffer some form of brain damage?

Adam: Okay, look. You are making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be, I don't pry into your stupid skills and insecurities.

Lucifer: Bitch, you literally do that all the time!

It was nice, in a weird way, how they're bantering. It almost reminds Lucifer of the first days he came to Eden; how Lilith and Adam pretended for a bit to get along for him.

As an angel, he was taught to see the good in everything. After all, everything was made by Father's hand so why would they be anything less than good and perfect?

They say that God is omnipotent and all-knowing, so he often wonders if his Father intentionally made the humans that way. Still does not explain why he would cast him out when the mistake was in his Father's hands.

Because.

Adam was fun until he said something about Lilith. Adam was fine until he acts like a 'man'. Adam was a friend until he wasn't.

Eden was one hell of a reality check. Pun intended.

Man, was pre-humanity Heaven always been cult-like?

Adam: Bro, how bout you shut up and let me do the work you've forced upon me. And why are you here anyway? I thought you live at that hotel now.

Lucifer: Oh? Would you rather do the work there? I have to warn you; Nifty goes in and out of rooms as she pleases to clean so-

Adam: Ah!!!! Don't say that name!

Lucifer: What? Afraid she's gonna come out of the mirror like some sort of Bloody Mary?

Adam bearing his teeth at him like a wild animal is a funny sight to see but then a got a very genius idea, a literal lightbulb turned on above his head.

Lucifer: Nifty...

Sensing what Lucifer is doing, Adam scrambles up and charges at him. Lucifer dodged him with ease and flies high above the room away from prying hands.

Lucifer: Niftyyyyy~

Adam: Lucifer, stop that shit!

Lucifer: Niffffffffffffffty-

Nifty: Hey guys!

The scream the two let out at the sudden voice were embarrassingly high enough to be mistaken for a teenage girl's.

Adam: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Lucifer: Jesus Christ!

Despite the panic in front of her, the little cyclops just smiled on.

Lucifer: Nifty, what in the world are you doing here?

Adam: Get that thing away from me!

Lucifer: Oh don't be such a baby, it's just Nifty.

Adam: You screamed too, asshole!

He gave Adam a wave to say 'whatever' and turns back to Nifty who has her eyes locked on the panicking demon behind him.

Maybe he should let her have at it at him just a little.

Nifty: I'd love to start a goat collection hehe~

Okay, nevermind. With Adam's surprising skills at organization, he can't afford to die yet until he finishes Lucifer's paperwork.

Lucifer: Uh Nifty, my question?

Nifty: Yes, roach queen?

Lucifer: Roach what? You know what, don't answer that. I asked why are you here.

Nifty: Oh! Miss Charlie is calling for you. Seems pretty urgent.

Lucifer: Did something happen at the hotel?

Nifty: Not really!

Lucifer: So?? What is it???

Nifty: Have you been outside at all, Mr. King?

Lucifer: Well no. We've been holled up all day doing this-

He vaguely gestures to the mess of his office.

Lucifer: And I put up a sound barrier so we wouldn't get distracted. I've also turned off my phone sooooooooOHHHH my god!

What the shit?? 666 missed calls??? Most of them are from Charlie.

Nifty: Said that no one could reach you. The others are trying to calm the panic cause most of the icky demons went straight into the hotel. I wanted to stab them but Miss Charlie told me to just come here and get you!

Probably to prevent bloodshed. His daughter is so smart but-

Lucifer: What actually is happening, Nifty?

Nifty: Oh! The sky is falling!

-----------------------------------------------

Sorry if it's a bit short but I just wanted to write AdamsApple banter and a bit of introspective.

Also, is that a chicken little reference???

Kudos to you if you saw that Spring Broken reference (arguably my fave Helluva Boss episode all because of the creative insults)

#hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin lilith #hazbin husk #hazbin vaggie #hazbin adam #lucifer harem #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #lucifer #lucifer au #lucifer headcanons #radioapple #appleradio #duckiedeer #alastor x lucifer #lucifer x alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel fic recs #hazbin hotel fic #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin fanfic #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel fandom

[artydonsgf]

love your account! maybe jealous art, patrick, or tashi headcanons? like individually them and reader. can be nsfw or not :)

thank you lovely!! i’m so glad to hear that🥹🫶🏾 i’ll do you one better n just do all three of them!

enjoy jealous art, patrick, and tashi :)

Art Donaldson:

- extremely jealous

- literally feels sick with jealousy

- terrible at hiding his jealousy too

- if he feels someone is being too flirty with you, he calls you his gf fifty times in one conversation

- yeah my GIRLFRIEND loves that show too, yeah my GIRLFRIEND is such a good cook, yeah my GIRLFRIEND is the best person in the world

- he does this all with an unnaturally wide smile on his face too

- he trusts you with his life, he literally would believe you killed a bunch of people before he’d believe you’d cheat on him so you’re not the problem

- his problem lies in other hungry losers who eye you whenever you wear your cute tennis outfits to go practice with him

- has to remind himself it’s not reasonable to fight people who look at you too much </3

- his jealousy problem stems from a deep insecurity that you’ll leave him for the better option

- always incredibly clingy after he gets into one of his jealous moods

- bro needs therapy

Patrick Zweig:

- hear me out yall… i don’t think patrick gets jealous like that

- he knows hes hot shit

- he doesn’t care if people flirt with you because he knows you’ll shut it down and you’re deeply in love with him, why worry?

- once in a while he does get jealous and he’s tweaking BADDD

- his internal monologue goes CRAZY he’s wishing death on everyone n their mother

- in a god awful mood when he’s jealous

- it has nothing to do with you, he trusts you with everything in him he just hates other people perceiving you

- will make out with you in front of people n then give them a subtle middle finger when you’re not looking

- petty as hell before he goes back to being nonchalant

- this happens once a month

- he also needs therapy

Tashi Duncan

- she’s above jealousy

- sure it irks her that people can just look at you but she’s not worried

- you’re deeply in love with her and she’s deeply in love with you so why would she gaf about random people staring at you with heart eyes

- cause she gets it, she also stares at you with heart eyes

- the difference is, your heart eyes are reserved for her n her only

- the majority of jealousy in your relationship comes from your side actually

- how can it not? your girlfriend is the best tennis player in the whole country and everyone loves her

- if she does get jealous, it’s brief

- she communicates her feelings and expects you to do the same so jealousy isn’t really a threat to your relationship

- mature tashi for the win!

#challengers #challengers fic #challengers headcanon #challengers imagine #tashi duncan x reader #patrick zweig x reader #art donaldson x reader #challengers x reader #artydonsgf

[malrie]

bear with me but the tlh trio being antagonists would have been leagues more compelling. especially over the canonical unfinished arcs they received by the end of the series.

piper being capable of having it all and getting anything she wants but unable to understand why she cannot receive the exact kind of love she’s always craved hence having to force people to give it to her. piper has arguably the most evil-coded power of them all: she can force people to do things they’re unwilling to do. even the gods are not exempt from this. to have that much power and not be corrupted by the ease the world affords her as a neglected child ... piper having to satiate her simultaneous desire and abhorrence of love with her ability to demand it by force.

leo canonically being a failed experimental homebrewed hero by hera (watching over for him as a baby, leaving snakes in his cradle a la hercules, overall obsession about him she never even had for jason, who had been offered to her) and having his mother die in conjunction with the narrative he was being forced into by an ancient force planning around his future. which is akin to a chosen one origin story but flipped on its head because canonically by book 1 leo has little heroic empathy and nobleness that percy holds and holds in his heart every grudge against every single person who has ever slighted him. can name them all. hates humanity and prefers his machinery. and has a negative view on the world that never cared for him. because why should he care when the only one who’s ever cared about him burned in his own flames.

jason, little obedient child soldier who does everything he’s told because it’s all he’s been taught. he’s charismatic in leading but not because it comes naturally. everyone who has ever admired him adored what he’s built his character to be like. jason has no real sense of self + no desire to find it because what is the point when that’s not what this world needs from him. and so badly he needs to be needed. piper in moa met hercules, vain and selfish and bringing everyone down with him and thought: “A hero couldn't control the gods, but he should be able to control himself. Jason would never be like that.” because jason is control incarnate. and he can control himself until he can’t. until he realizes he’s owed the the world enough. and the world owes him now.

#piper mclean #leo valdez #jason grace #do people still get top recommended blogs on here if u post in the tag enough I want the piper slot LOL #hoo #heroes of olympus #rrverse #I wrote this post and reread it and laughed I love being dramatic thisbis the elmo in fire meme to me #if they were in original pjo they’d all be on Luke’s side I’m just SAYING LMFAO

[trust-and-jump]

who knew that reddit DC fandom mentality is so much better than tumblr DC fandom mentality.

I am amazed. I love it. I'm on r/DCcomics for three days now, and I love it already. Oh my god. Why didn't I try it earlier.

It's not like tumblr DC fandom doesn't have its own good things. For example, art and fanfiction is much more convenient here. And, you know, just people keeping and updating their blogs. It's much more convenient here, on tumblr. And I love searching for DC fanart.

But oh my god, the comics discussion part. I sometimes hate it on tumblr. On DC comics subreddit though? I can feel people are reading many different comics, and reading them for years. It's just so much better. And I actually can see random comics to read, instead of the same ones repeating over and over (tumblr DC fandom does it pretty often). I'm not talking about the newest comics, because both here and there I see discussions. I mean the older comics. On tumblr it's just repeating and repeating. Especially for Batfam fandom.

I don't say "Batman fandom", because here, on tumblr, these are two separate things. Batfam fandom is insufferable pretty often. Batman fandom looks quiet in comparison. And, besides, kinda salty.

reddit is an evil site for people even more chronically online than tumblr users. but bro dc comics fandom there feels so much better already. Like I finally got out of a small smelly room.

I mean. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm only on reddit DC comics fandom for few days. Maybe I'll see something that makes me realise that here, on tumblr, it's better.

#dc fandom #dc comics #dc comics fandom #batfam fandom #reddit #tumblr fandom #reddit fandom #r/dc comics #r/DCcomics #batman fandom #batfamily

[matrixbearer2024]

Matrixbearer's Ranting Time:

Referenced Post is here. Fair word of warning- the original post does have a fair share of mature themes. But you don't have to read it to get context since I do explain anyway.

Just a gentle reminder for the ladies, gentlemen and everybody in between- but please please for the love of god be careful about how you word your reposts.

I want to give @claudethecrabdemoness the benefit of the doubt and say they had well meaning intention thinking that @bindeds wrote a drabble that was very oc x canon coded which they really enjoyed. But please pay attention to how things were worded in their tags.

"Not my writing but it might as well be."

Excuse me my dear but that is genuinely quite an entitled thing to say! How unbecoming of you to go ahead and so blatantly undermine another creator's efforts! It isn't your writing and please highlight that fact instead of trying to pass off someone else's work as your own.

This isn't me being protective of Beck, I just hate hate hate content thieves and liars. We appreciate the reblogs guys, especially when it gives us more exposure; but not when you try and brush off that we created for you all to appreciate simply because you want the credit to a similar idea you have.

A gentle reminder that it actually takes our time, energy and effort to post things for you all to enjoy. We don't even know if you enjoy it as much as we do but we shoot it out anyway with the hope that you will. So please, please be considerate enough next time to not do this.

As writers and creators it hurts to see this, especially when there's such an obvious disregard for the effort and time we've put into honing our craft just for someone to go: "I like this! It's mine now!" That's not how the world works hun. Grow up.

Lastly, please don't go and attack the person who did this. I just wanted to make my stance and opinion clear on the matter as a fellow writer and friend. Again, they possibly mean well or the words carried the wrong intention- which is why I'll say it again.

Be careful about what you post online, how you word your posts, and who you affect. Anonymity and social media presence can often make us forget that there are in fact other people who we make happy or sad depending on what we do on here. So be mindful, be kind, and be considerate. We just want to all have fun here like you do.

#Okay I'm fucking tired. #Nawalan talaga ako ng gana dahil dito guys. #I always feared this would happen to my series btw #And I'm glad it never did which I'm thankful for #Hell I'm extremely thankful to the people who support me that you all have never done this even to the offshoot drabbles I write- #and you all appreciate my work anyway in sometimes very entertaining ways #but to see it happen to others is a genuine reality check that this problem was always and possibly will forever be there. #please spread the message about this guys #just so we can be aware and foster a happier community #and that people won't be deterred from sharing their created content soley because they fear it being taken/stolen #x reader #hazbinhotel #hazbin #hazbin fandom #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel 2024 #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel vox x reader

[naarlar]

quick edit: I assumed it was obvious but apparently I need to be clear: I don’t hate hades 2 (I’m actually quite excited for it). I know it’s in early access and that all this criticism/analysis could be out of date or wrong by the time the game is done. I am just a person with too much time on my hands wanting to discuss some initial thoughts I’ve had with the game so far (especially since at the same time I’m also replaying hades 1)

look I’m sorry I’m doom posting a little about hades 2 I swear I don’t hate it or anything (honestly I hope I’m proven wrong) but I am a little concerned about some things, here are the top ones in my head:

Hot spring scenes are kinda weird. There I said it. “Oh back in Ancient Greece people bathed together all the time” Artemis literally has killed men for accidentally (not even on purpose) peeping at her and her huntresses. That spring scene with Odysseus is so weird. Like he knew her back when she was a wee baby. Pretty sure Nemesis did too. Like ://////

Speaking of Odysseus, sue me maybe I’ve been listening to too much Epic the Musical (context this musical does not portray Odysseus as a cheater) but Odysseus being so disconnected from Penelope and Telemachus is so disappointing. Like I get it, my man is a bit of a manwhore but like… everything he did in the Odyssey was to get back to them. Especially since you can make a solid argument that his “cheating” in the Odyssey with Circe and Calypso can be considered rape as both women had immense power over him as goddesses and essentially threatened to hurt him/his men if he disobeyed. Sooooooo yeah Odysseus’ characterization seems kind of flat? Like no where near as good as Achilles’ (lowkey I am also terrified the reason they wrote Penelope out of the plot was to make fan service between Melinoë and Odysseus and with the hot spring scene I am so scared right now)

I mentioned it in a previous post so I won’t rant too long but I feel Mel’s lack of proper motivation throughout her fight against Chronos is weird? Like she doesn’t know anyone from the house of hades. She even says as much to Hecate that she hardly knows them and sees her as her mother. Which isn’t a bad thing necessarily, maybe part of Mel’s story is about learning to see herself as more than a weapon in this fight. But like… the problem is that she doesn’t have a personal motivation to the fight against Chronos… which is like the core point of the game???

Some of the art design is weird. Yes we are in early access so this can be explained later but some of the designs are weird. Chaos (don’t get me wrong they look AMAZING and beautiful) doesn’t look like Primordial Chaos, they look like some guy? And yeah sure there are some theories as to why but it still takes away from the sheer presence Chaos had in the previous game. Chronos straight up looks like an Egyptian god not Greek.

A lot of the relationships and story is rather straightforward and could do with more nuance. It’s all just “death to Chronos” and that’s it essentially. For example, with Meg and Zag their relationship was complex (a bit toxic) and interesting. Meg had reasons to be upset with Zag and Zag had to push forward regardless so he can find his mom. With Nem and Mel in contrast it just seems like Nem is really salty that Mel gets to go down and kill Chronos and… that’s kinda pathetic? It takes away from her badassery cause this grown ass goddess is literally complaining to a young goddess about something beyond her control. and Nem says some messed up things to Mel too. And in general I feel it’s like this (with Odysseus too, nowhere near the relationship Achilles and Zag had) is the case with the other relationships too (except Hecate and Mel, that is super wholesome and cute :3)

Eris is a cool character but her curses are such a stupid mechanic and it honestly feels like it is a way to make first time perfect runs almost impossible which is stupid because why would you design your game around the rare select few people that will speed run it??

Overall I am well aware I am being rather critical and over analyzing an early access version of the game, so I am going to keep an open mind. However I do stand by my thought that the game so far at least in my opinion isn’t completely living up to its predecessor, at least from a story perspective.

#anyways goodnight #imma stop here #anyone who read this entire flipping thing my hat is off to you like this is such a large rant #pomegranate rants #hades #hades game #hades 2 #hades 2 spoilers #spoilers

[linterteatime]

Another skrunkly scrimblo for the collection

#monster high #twyla boogieman #g3 #fanart #i need her doll god why do i live at the end of world #to be fair it could be worse #i just saw an ugly bug on my wall #i committed murder #if there is a god why does it hate me so much #im just a silly goofy clown :( #my art

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to start this post so now im just doing it sorry

Phantom gets called cat like by the other heros all the time. Hell some of the league members have even joined in after he met them. Fuck you superman how dare you out his purring

Problem is his new power he started developing. Telekinesis. And it’s very hard to control. Now if he looses focus he starts knocking stuff off shelves or off tables.

Frostbite told him he would keep developing powers till his ghost side was grown but he thought it was done. How many more powers does he need!!!!

#lord I hate this post #like I wanted to do the whole thing crazy but im so tired #and it has been in my drafts for a good while now #I hyped it up too so now I look even harder at how crap it is #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #I just wanna go to sleep yall #maybe I will #fuck this I don’t even care any more #is what is is #liz is about to depress herself outta the blog again #rip #happened at 100 followers and 800 followers #I just gotta stop giving a shit about it #why does it matter so much to me #god these tags are horrible #maybe ill redo the post later #but I know yall would enjoy the concept #too bad it’s gonna be attached to my shit ass posy #sorry yall #im not in a good state of mind #but im fine I promise just tired and peobably sick #work really screwed me over and im atressed to the nines about it #ill be fine #it’s fine #im ok #enough tags im a hit post now even though I hate this post

[menacingmonty]

shameless is makign me insane. its making me go nuts. absolutely wild. i need shameless mutuals NEOW. shameless tiktok has liek zero nuance.

my stupid little sociology major brain latches onto all of the dynamics, especially between the siblings RAHHHHH

#shameless #growing up in a big family and seeing characters thta are actually reminiscent of me and my siblings #i hate how much i relate to lip good god #currentyl finishing s11 anb oh boy i have thoughts. #why does the fandom excuse so mch of frank's behaviour but NONE of monicas. theyre both awful parents but the double standard is wild #shameless us

[mangk0]

I love how every artist who draws atreus draws his hair COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY not only due to stylistic differences but bc what in the collective FUCK are we supposed to do with THAT

#once again me complaining WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT??? #someone in stupidrant’s asks said atreus’s hair looks like a half eaten chestnut and they could not be any more correct #literally what am I supposed to do with this why is THIS what ssm gave us to work with???? why do they hate us so much?????? #not mil #gowr #atreus #god of war ragnarok #LIKE WHO SAID THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA I HAVE WORDS FOR THEM

[sciderman]

hey sci.how do you get wades personality to a T! I desperately wanna make a comic but I’m worried I’ll fall short to his character.Any Tips?

oh bless you! i don't think there's any sort of guide to getting wade's character right - all the canon writers write him so, so differently - he really is the sort of character that can be anything the author needs him to be (for better or for worse)

i know i've received complaints over the years about how i portray wade - sometimes people think i make him too emotional, or what-have-you, but i think the biggest crime anyone can commit when writing wade is him not being funny. (i know, that's so, so subjective.) i think when wade falls short for me in the comics or in any characterisation it's usually down to me just not finding the jokes funny! i can kind of forgive anything at all, as long as it's funny.

i've seen a lot of more serious depictions of wade in fanfiction and it kind of throws me for a loop - he's a showman. he'll always be cracking a joke, and if he isn't, you're in trouble.

i think something i'm kind of obsessed with when writing wade is the intentionality behind his words and actions - he's kind of a master of deflection. i think i do love to see a hyper-competent wade, who only plays the part of the idiot because it's what the audience likes to see. he's never stupid, he's just unlucky. when things go wrong for him, it's not due to stupidity - it's either self-sabotage, or he's a victim of the narrative. i think that's where my depiction of wade differs from daddy nicieza's - i think daddy nicieza's wade is big stupid, most of the time.

himbo rights.

but even then, his wade isn't as big of an idiot as he acts. and a lot of it is an act. he's putting on a show. i love a wade wilson who's actually so much more intelligent than he lets show. a wade wilson who's perpetually holding all his cards to his chest because he doesn't want anyone to be able to pin him down or predict him.

all his cards. on terms of capability, and also his emotions. he's so calculated about what other people get to see of him, particularly when he's wearing the mask. (when he's out of the mask he has decidedly less control over what people see of him.)

i think there's a few things that turn me off from a deadpool characterisation - mostly when i see a wade that's too sugary (i think that's why i can't care very much for the most recent deadpool series) - wade always has demons to overcome. always. being heroic isn't something that comes naturally to him. it isn't something that comes naturally to anyone, but at least wade's honest about it.

i like to see a wade that's a jerk. because he is. he's always been. it's like, his first ever personality trait. he is a jerk. a selfish jerk. please, oh please god, do not forget that he's a selfish jerk. i really love portrayals of him that don't shy away from that, but make him endearing anyway. you really don't have to erase all the bad parts of a character to make them likeable. you really, really don't. those bad parts are the tasty bits. makes me keep coming back for more.

when i see a wade that is not a selfish jerk i am like "wha. whuh. who is that. that's not wade. that's not my son. why is he not spitting in my eye right now."

i kind of have to hate him just a little. that's like, the whole point. you're meant to love and hate wade simultaneously, all the time. anyone who loves wade knows this wholeheartedly. to love him is to hate him.

second to that, please don't ever make wade wilson a sexual predator. that's a real problem (hate that).

#my favourite wades really are the ones that you can hate. or you hate loving. #writing this post kind of made me figure out just why the recent series hasn't landed for me. #sci speaks #fact is the recent series does not let me hate wade the appropriate amount. #please. i must hate him a little. #i also think the current series is probably too plot driven and not.. character driven enough.. i love wade for #kind of being a stupidly self-reflective character that sits around and mopes a lot. he does that a lot. #i love characters that sit and mope a lot. i miss characters just sitting around and moping. #god. maybe i'm the bad writer. i hate plot. i just want quiet moping. #but the heart wants what it wants. #i think thats why i love the old spider-man comics so much. the plot was a mess. but my god did peter parker do some great moping.