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thekillerssluts · 4 years

Audio

Will Butler - Surrender

As someone who plays alongside his brother in one of the most successful bands in the world, it’s clear that family has always been pivotal in Will Butler‘s life.

For new solo album ‘Generations’ – out in September via Merge – Butler dug even deeper into generation after generation of his family, slowly coming to terms with his place as an artist, and an American, pouring the new findings into his second solo effort.

The Arcade Fire multi-instrumentalist previews ‘Generations’ today (July 14) with first single ‘Surrender’, a joyous call-and-response folk-pop track. Listen to it below alongside our new interview with Butler.

Speaking to NME about the new single and album, Butler discussed the job of white artists during an era of Black Lives Matter protests, what to expect from ‘Generations’, and the future of Arcade Fire. Check out our whole interview with Butler below.

Your new album sees you dive further back into your family history – what did you find?

“My dad’s side has been in New England since the 1600s. The first Butler came over from England in about 1630 to Boston. They’ve lived on a handful of islands in Maine since the 1700s, and they’re still fighting over the old hay fields. Siblings and cousins still periodically fight over it. ‘No, that’s MY piece of the salt marsh!’

“My mum’s side were Mormon pioneers driven out of America by mob violence. Before that, the founder of my mum’s branch was a Portuguese sailor who washed up on the beach in New York in the 1600s. People had all these theories, but the one that’s most compelling is that it was a sailor whose last name was Rodriguez, and everyone called him Joe Drigs, so Drigs became the last name.”

Does ‘Surrender’ feel representative of the whole album?

I think it’s one of the poles of the album. Both sonically and in attitude, there’s a joyous side and a guitar-based side, and this is the guitar-led, joyous, ecstatic portion. Then there’s a really sludgy synth-based side, and a ‘trying to be honest, despair-filled’ side.

The new single’s video sees you discuss the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, and the Black Lives Matter movement – has lockdown been a time of self-examination for you as a white artist?

I got a masters degree in Public Policy in 2017, starting at the end of 2016, and it was quite a time to be in a politics school. Partly, I realised that I am in the public sphere already, and I thought: what am I going to do with this? I’m a powerful person. I didn’t particularly seek it out, but I needed to work out what I was going to do with this [power]. That question, not shockingly, continues to be relevant. Back in 2015, people thought that you were so racist for saying Black Lives Matter, that was the default. Now, people see that it’s a serious problem, and the polling shows that. People see that how the police treat Black people is a problem.

And you and the band have done significant charity work before…

Arcade Fire had been working with [Haitian charity] Partners In Health for a decade, and I wanted to see how I could support what they were doing in a better way. If I have any power at all, it’s as an American. I can help Haiti, and donate money, but I don’t speak Creole and I don’t speak in Haiti, so I’m fundamentally limited. I live in America, and I’ve got generations of experience in a certain type of America, so what do I do with that?

And what about your musical ancestry?

“My mum is a musician, and her parents were musicians, and my grandmother grew up playing a pre-depression variety show in the American west, driving across the desert before there were even roads in the desert… just going from church to church and getting kicked out of towns. Her father was the last child of a polygamous Mormon and wanted to become a musician. That’s at the end of the 19th century. He said, ‘I want to be a musician!’ and he failed, but his kids did it. Very concretely, what I’m doing today is rooted in 19th century America.”

Is your ancestry something you and Win discussed a lot when you were starting Arcade Fire?

“The very first b-side of the very first Arcade Fire single was a recording of a performance by our grandfather. It was a ’40s radio broadcast that was recorded. There’s a whole line of musicians, and me and my brother continue to be musicians. It’s not coincidental. There’s something really beautiful about that, and something really poisonous about that. I think in generations of musicians, there is very little that’s poisonous about it, but it’s more about generations of power. Why I own a house is rooted in the 19th century and before. There’s great value in knowing the truth for its own sake, and then thinking, ‘What do you do with that truth?’. It’s about exhuming the truth and working out, ‘My god, how the hell did we get here?’.”

Since your album has been finished, how have you been spending your time?

Arcade Fire was recording. Well, we were recording… But now our drummer is in Australia, two of us are in Canada, and the rest are in America. Australia are having a crazy outbreak, the border to Canada is sealed right now… like, Jesus Christ. It takes more logistics to get together. It always took a certain amount of logistics, but right now it’s insurmountable.

How far had you got with a new record before you had to stop?

I’ll only know that when it’s done. Like, ‘Oh, half of it came from before [lockdown]’, or ‘None of it came from before!’. Who knows.

Are you able to do stuff remotely and send ideas back and forth while you’re all quarantined?

None of us quite have the file management skills for it to be creative at the moment. It’s hard, and that’s partly why I made my own videos for ‘Surrender’ and stuff. I wanted to go out into the world!

Will Butler’s new album ‘Generations’ comes out on September 25 via Merge.

#Arcade Fire #will butler #surrender #Generations #interview

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queen-rogah · 4 years

Text

Heartbreak Weather (part 1)

Roger Taylor x Reader

Series Summary: It's the story about the unexpected love between you and Roger Taylor that had lasted through thick and thin, through the challenges and darkness as you both find a way to prove that love is unbreakable...

In this part: Roger just broke up with his long-term girlfriend through the phone just minutes before his performance with the band, then in the same night, he never knew that his broken heart will recover again...

Warnings: language, mild fluff, mild angst

Word Count: 4.4k+ words

Note: First part of the Heartbreak Weather series coming thru! This is actually based from Niall Horan's new album called "Heartbreak Weather" wherein I will use the titles of the songs in the albums as the other parts of this series. Hope you're all excited about this as much as I do. Gifs are not mine, all credits to the owner!

PS. STREAM HEARTBREAK WEATHER BY NIALL HORAN, it's a great album, it's definitely worth a listen!

QUEENROGAH’S MASTERLIST

PART ONE: “HEARTBREAK WEATHER”

NOVEMBER 19, 1974 - RAINBOW THEATRE: LONDON, ENGLAND

They unloaded the trucks as the roadies rushes in and started pushes the different equipments they needed for the tour. The band also arrived on time for sound checks as they led them inside the theatre. They have their eyes locked on the lights around the stage and how spacious this place is. It's been days that the Sheer Heart Attack tour had started and their adrenaline during the tour is getting much stronger because of the people's energy inside the venue and how they sing right back to them the lyrics of their songs. Especially when the sophisticated melody of Killer Queen will play from Freddie's piano. The crowd will definitely go crazy.

After the soundcheck, the band made their way inside the dressing room to get ready for tonight's show. Different people also got inside the room to take care of them. Freddie sat by the corner to let them fix his hair, Brian also fixes his hair, Deacy and Roger were by the rack of clothes to look for their outfit tonight.

Then Roger found this golden vest that will definitely shimmer underneath those lights on stage.

"Roger, you're next!." Brian shouts from the other side of the room.

The drummer put the vest back in the clothes rack to make his way to Paloma, the band's new hair stylist who really have a huge personality.

"How are you Mr. Taylor?." Paloma spoke to him as she took her equipment and started cutting off the excess hairs out of his blonde locks.

"I'm fine love, and please...call me Roger, Mr. Taylor doesn't fit me." Roger replied and Paloma nods that him.

"Okay...Roger." She said as she fixed his hair, brushing it down and put on some hairspray. Paloma soon stood in front of the drummer to fix his hair up front.

Roger never stopped himself staring at her breasts just inches away from him.

"You're staring again Roger." Paloma chuckles as he tore his eyes away from her and put up a smirk.

"Can't help it love, it's right in front of me." Roger laughs and just in time Paloma finished fixing his hair. The drummer left the chair and soon took off his top and put on a robe.

He picked the black leather pants from the clothes rack as he finally changed. Deacy is also in a robe, next to Brian's red special, while Brian is lounging beside him with still the same clothes he's in when they arrived.

Roger borrowed a polaroid from one of the staffs as he played around with it

Roger borrowed a polaroid from one of the staffs as he played around with it. Taking different pictures here and there like Freddie getting his makeup done, Brian now standing in front of the mirror and Deacy on the couch. Roger sat down on the vacant space on the couch beside Deacy where Brian is earlier and put down the Polaroid as he let the bassist look at the pictures too.

A flash goes off in front of them as they look at Brian pointing the camera at the both of them, the guitarist soon showed them the picture. Only Deacy caught the camera but Roger didn't, he's too busy looking at those pictures in his hands.

Only Deacy caught the camera but Roger didn't, he's too busy looking at those pictures in his hands

"I'll keep these for my scrapbook back home. Maybe it'll make a good use in the future." Roger said as he also took the polaroid picture from Brian and put it inside his bag that is on the floor. He also reached over for a cigarette as he light it up with his lighter, inhaling the smoke to calm himself down.

"Ten minutes boys!." They finally announces.

The adrenaline came in again.

Freddie faces the mirror for his finishing touches, Brian also stood beside him as he fixes his hair. Deacy changed into his clothes while Roger finally puts on his vest. Brian had his guitar with him, Deacy also had his bass and Freddie is now warming up his voice.

The crowd of 3,000 people of the Rainbow Theatre awaits them again.

"Boys, let's have a mini rehearsal before we go on stage." Freddie told them as they huddle together in a small circle as Freddie started singing. Brian was playing his guitar to catch the melody.

"Roger," Paloma suddenly called him as he turn his look to her, "Telephone." She points on the telephone that's on hold as he approaches to the phone.

"Hello?." Roger speaks. There was silence at first, until he heard a sigh from the other line.

"Roger..."

That voice sends his heart into beating loudly in his chest as a smile appears on his lips.

"Reese, love, why did you call? Missed me already?." Roger teased her long-term girlfriend who's waiting on him back in the shared home with her.

"Yeah, I miss you...I really do." She replied back, but how she said that sounded sad or tired.

Roger noticed that.

"It's unusual to hear you in that tone of your voice Reese, is something wrong? Did someone hurt you? Did you–"

"–I'm fine Roger, it's just...I...I missed you, that's all." Her laugh was strained and sounded fake, and it feels like she's holding something back.

"Reese...you already know that I don't like you lying to me." Roger sighs, not believing on what his girlfriend just said.

He really wants to know the truth behind those words.

But she fell into silence again, like she did earlier.

Only the sound of Freddie singing and Brian strumming his guitar behind him is what he hears.

"Reese–"

"–Roger, I can't do this anymore." She sobs and Roger paused for a second as her words replayed in his mind.

"What...what do you mean you can't do this anymore? Reese, have you been drinking?..." Roger turned paranoid and the other's noticed his tone of voice changing as their noises died down.

"No, I haven't been drinking Roger and I'm telling you that truth that I really can't do this anymore. Aren't you even tired on our fights, our lives living together and even in our relationship. Aren't you already tired Roger?." She asked.

Her words broke the drummer's heart in pieces.

"I was never tired for you Reese because I love you so much. Even though I come home from a tiring tour and fight about something didn't made me turn my back to you. Unless you're just the only one who's turning your back on me. You're throwing away our relationship with just those nonsense words Reese. I love you and think of the words you've been saying." Roger pleaded.

"I'm tired Roger and let's accept the fact that we should part ways and respect our decisions–"

"–why? Is being with me is the biggest mistake of your life? Is moving in with me the biggest regret of your life? Or you're just too heartless about it?." Roger now angrily asked her and Reese was tongue tied for a second.

"I respect you so much Roger and I deserve your fury but you also have to accept that I'm breaking up with you..." Reese tried to calm him up but he was already angry.

"You're breaking up with me through the phone Reese! This is the most impractical thing you ever did! Why all of the sudden? Did you...met somebody else?." His voice shakes when he asked the last sentence.

She gave him the silent treatment again.

"Reese answer me." He commands.

"Yes, I've been seeing someone else Roger." She whispers, her voice so small but Roger heard her.

"For how long?." He asked. Tears were already forming around his eyes, he never imagined this time with her because he thought Reese was the one for him since they were dating for 6 years now.

"5 months." Reese sobs, "I'm so sorry Roger, I...I can't deal with this anymore, I felt like we’ve been parting ways even though we're blind to see it–"

"–no Reese, you're the only one who's parting it's way here. I'm holding on so much into this relationship because I loved you so much. I tried to change my ways for you because you want me to change up my habits, but turns out everything isn't enough for you. My love for you is never enough." The drummer replied to her as he hangs up the phone. He noticed the room being silent as he knew everyone was listening to his conversation with Reese.

"Are you...okay Roger? Did something happened between you and Reese?." Brian asked.

"I don't give a fuck anymore." He mutters and took his drumsticks before leaving the room without dismissing himself.

Three minutes before their performance and Roger is already pissed off, his excitement faded out after that phone call.

What a great way to start a fucking show.

...

"You promise you'll pick me up? Don't worry, I'll be paying for your drinks when we get there." You pace around the room while speaking to your bestest friend since highschool. Eleanor had been planning this night out for weeks now since she came back home from California for a year.

"I'm also bringing Kelsey and Cleo with us too, remember those girls?." She squeals.

Kelsey and Cleo. The girls you've known in Physics class in highschool. You remember them being the smartest people in that school.

"Yeah, I remember them. It's been years that I didn't saw them. Maybe the last time I was with them is the highschool graduation, since we all parted ways for college." You replied.

Eleanor, Kelsey and Cleo went to the same university, a very well-known university outside the city. Well, you stayed behind, enrolled to a university in the city and pursue in learning accountancy.

Now you're working in a small accounting firm that pays you well.

Enough to pay your own bills.

"Now I'm going to call them for this mini reunion. Wear the sexiest clothing you've ever hand in your closet right now then I'll pick you up by 8pm later. Bye Y/N!." Eleanor said as she finally hangs up.

You made your way towards your closet as you go through your clothes, pulling out some of the clothes you mostly wear in parties or social events, but one thing had made you stop when you finally saw it again here. It's the deep v-neck sequined top that you bought last year. You haven't used that top since you bought it and now you think this is the opportunity to wear it. For the first time.

Not caring about your insecurity.

You took the top and lay it on your bed, along with your high rise black denim flares and your old gold sequin pumps–that you managed to find in your shoe rack–and there's only an hour left for you to get ready before Eleanor would pick you up. You didn't styled your hair that much and just let it down, but you focused on your makeup. After all your work on your face, you look at yourself in the mirror–your eyes have been enhanced by the bronze eyeshadow and eyeliner, your contour brings out your cheekbones more–one last thing, you applied the strawberry flavored lip gloss, and now you’re good to go.

You put your planned outfit, even though you’re unsure about how much skin you’re revealing with the sequin top. Your back and cleavage on full display, hoping no creep will come up to you to where Eleanor will lead you. You look over to your clock to see it’s already 8pm, thinking that Eleanor will come up late again and that will take you some time to think if this outfit will be the one you’ll be wearing for the rest of the night.

Until you heard a loud honk outside your apartment.

Eleanor’s not late, very unusual.

So you just took your white fur coat and put it on, buttoned up to conceal your top that is already a small regret that you wore it. You grab your bag and left your place, Eleanor’s car is parked as her window rolled down, “Are you ready for tonight missy?.” Eleanor shouts from her car, not caring about your neighbors.

You step inside the car laughing to see Cleo in the backseat and Kelsey in the passenger seat beside Eleanor wearing their most fashionable and quite revealing outfits, “Hi guys, how are you?.” You sat beside Cleo as you put your seatbelts on. Eleanor finally drives away from the cul-de-sac and to where she will lead you all.

“Great! I don’t know if how many years that we haven’t see each other and now, you’re a view Y/N.” Cleo said as she also complimented you as you blushed a bit.

“–in short you’re hot Y/N.” Kelsey added in the conversation.

You truly missed these girls.

“Thank you ladies, you all looked beautiful too!,” You exclaim then soon look at Eleanor through the rear view mirror, “How about you El?.” You asked her.

“I’m doing great too because all that I’m thinking of that we are all getting shitfaced tonight.” She smirks at you through the rear view mirror as you took a deep breath.

Tonight will be a long night.

…

Everything is a mess to Roger tonight.

After that sudden break-up with his girlfriend, his mood and energy for the whole performance night went downhill and he officially lost it when the power went out–not once but twice in the venue earlier and the production team is pissing them off. Not just Roger, but also to the other boys. The whole band doesn’t feel like performing to the people tonight, so when the show has come to an end, Roger hits the last beat of the song on the drums and kicks off the drumset across the stage–good thing that Freddie saw what he’s going to do and immediately moved out of the way as he says his thank you to the crowd, he also pulled Deacy with him while he’s still bowing down for the people. They are all disappointed about tonight’s show, and Roger was disappointed, angry and heartbroken.

He already entitled this night the worst night of his life.

They got inside the dressing room again to dry up their sweat and change up into their comfortable clothes.

“Tonight’s show is a load of bollocks.” Roger said in anger while looking at himself in the mirror.

“It is, the power interruption really pisses me off.” Brian also said in pure irritation.

“And Roger, you almost killed me when you throw off your drums in the stage. Mind telling me a warning next time.” Freddie said to the drummer as he just heard him scoffed.

“But we still did our best for the show, I just don’t want for this incident to happen again.” Deacy added as he glares at Roger who’s already sitting on the couch while looking down on the floor–his brows furrowed.

The band fell in silence while they’re only hearing the chatters of the staffs outside the dressing room.

Freddie claps his hand as he stood up from the chair he’s sitting on, “I heard there’s a nightclub just blocks away from here–“

“–well then we’re going there.” Roger immediately replied as he also stood up from the couch.

Freddie widen his eyes at the drummer and let’s out a chuckle before calling the other roadies and staffs to come with them in the nightclub he’s talking about. They left the theatre and drive to where it is to see multiple people already in line to get inside the place–maybe some of these people just came from the show that’s why when they left the vehicle, they recognized them as they wave at their direction, calling out their names to get noticed–mostly women as they mostly call on Roger’s attention.

They let the band in without falling in line with the people as they were welcomed by the scent of alcohol in the air–maybe not just alcohol. The roadies that they invited managed to find a booth for the band to sit in. Freddie was eyeing a lot of people in the crowd, Brian was talking to some fan while walking to the booth, Deacy was also talking to a fan and Roger is already holding a drink that was given by a fan earlier. They gave them multiple drinks and drank it one-by-one, Roger planned to get drunk tonight, to get the heartbreak with Reese out of his head.

In just a matter of minutes in the club, Freddie was already enjoying himself in the dancefloor with Deacy and other people, then Brian was talking to a girl in the booth and Roger already have two good-looking ladies on his sides with their hands roaming around his body. The red-head is seducing him and the blonde was non-stop touching him.

Roger again ordered another round of shots with the ladies.

…

It’s been 20 minutes since you’re still in this line for the club that Eleanor took you all to. She said that this club has the best drinks and the strongest shots–she’s really serious about getting shitfaced tonight. The entrance is getting closer, then suddenly the people in front starts to cheer and heard them calling out some names but you don’t understand since they’re talking all at once. Eleanor, Kelsey and Cleo are also dumbfounded to what’s happening right now.

“Excuse me, can you tell what’s happening and why are the people shouting so loud? Is there a club fight?.” Eleanor taps on the girl in front of her as she turns around.

“Queen is here!.” The girl responds.

“Queen Elizabeth is here?.” You asked and Eleanor loudly laughed at your remark, the girl also laughed along with her.

“No darling, she means that the band named Queen is here. You know, the band that sang…I don’t know…Killer Queen I think?.” Eleanor said as you nod your head. You mentally cursed at yourself thinking about the Queen of England going to club like this. You’ve forgotten that there’s actually a band that calls themselves Queen.

“Oh fuck–I’m sorry I’m so stupid.” You laughed at yourself.

Eleanor accepted your apology as you talk about other things again while you’re still in line. Ivy–the girl you’ve talked to earlier already are comfortable with the three of you and she’s going to the club all by herself, that’s why you all adopted her in your group. When it’s finally your turn to get inside the club, Eleanor shouted fucking finally as you all stepped inside the club filled with people already dancing and drinking different alcohols. The humid of the room is making you uncomfortable with the fur coat you’re wearing but you still didn’t decide to take it off. Your self-confidence is still hiding. Eleanor took you all in the bar, ordering tequilas as the starter. She made a toast as you all brought your drinks up in the air and drank the tequila. It all goes on with more stories, gossips, drinks and round of shots. Kelsey and Cleo are already dancing in the dancefloor, Eleanor is talking to a man while you’re just watching the girls dancing to the music. Some men tried to give you free drinks but you’re thanking God nobody has ever pushed you to your limits. You just got free drinks and someone to talk to.

They also didn’t know how to flirt.

And if they did, you didn’t know how to flirt back too.

After all of those things, more and more people entered the club and beads of sweats are already forming in your temple as you wipe it away with some table napkins in the bar. The fur coat really is making you officially uncomfortable. Thinking now it’s the time to take it off.

Your fingers found the buttons of the coat as you want to take it off, but you were interrupted with Cleo’s drunken self walking back with some man you don’t know but they looked like good friends.

“There she is! Y/N, I want you to meet John!.” Cleo shouts through the blaring music.

He gave you small smile as you come up for a handshake, “Hi John, nice to meet you! I’m Y’N, as Cleo already said earlier.” You smiled at him as he shakes your hand.

“John Deacon, nice to meet you–“

You stopped as you heard him say his name, “–wait, are you from Queen?.” You guessed.

He chuckles and nod his head, “I am, I’m the bassist of the band, yeah.” He approves as you gape at Cleo who’s arm was wrapped around his own too.

“So uh, how did you two know each other? Cleo never mentions she knows somebody who’s famous.” You asked, feeling interested.

“Well, I met Deacy in college because we’re taking the same classes in electrical engineering course and we became close when he became my partner in a project.” Cleo responds.

You didn’t know Cleo studied electrical engineering in college.

“By the way, I’m not just here to introduce Deacy to you, he calls us to sit with them in their booth. The other members of Queen will definitely be there,” Cleo stops mid-sentence as she hiccups and laughed at herself. Even John laughed too, “I’m sorry about that, so, since you’re the only one who’s here and I don’t know where the fuck did the others go, you’re coming with us.”

You nod your head as you followed Cleo and John through the crowd and towards the other side of the room to where they are sitting. You saw people with them, also drinking a lot of shots and see the other members. You’re soon looking at Roger who’s still surrounded by good-looking ladies that are drunk. You’re still good but tipsy tonight, since you didn’t drank all of the shots that Eleanor ordered earlier. You only took the drinks that were mild.

“Deacy finally managed to find himself some ladies. Care to introduce them darling?.” Freddie asked as he sips on his drink.

“This is Cleo and this is her friend Y/N. I invited them to sit with us tonight.” John said and Freddie nods his head, letting them sit on the vacant spaces of their place. You were close to Roger with all the ladies around him as you didn’t stop yourself from looking at the sensual scene they’re causing, and one of the girls noticed your stare.

“Hey creep, stop with that stare alright? Dreaming that you’re with us?,” The girl looks at you from head to toe, judging your looks, “I don’t think so,” she devilishly smirked at you as she gets back in seducing the drummer, who’s soon kissing the other girl on his right.

You frowned at her remark as you glared at her, even though her back is facing you. She just gave you this rude introduction that leads you in standing up from the couch and finally unbuttoned your fur coat and took it off, in front of these people around you. The gold sequin top that reveals your skin was like true gold that made them stare at you. Cleo was in awe when you took your fur coat off.

“Y/N…I didn’t know you wore something like that! I mean look at you!.” Cleo praises as you blushed hardly.

“It’s getting warm in here, finally decided to take it off,” You replied. In the corner of your eye, you saw Roger staring at you as you just shrug it off, “I’ll be at the bar.” You said and left the booth, making your way towards the bar, ordering yourself a drink.

“So I guess you’re Y/N.”

You look over your shoulder to suddenly see Roger standing before you.

“Yes, I am Y/N, I didn’t think you’ll be listening back there with all the ladies around you.” You sassed him as he smirks at you. Liking your feisty side.

“I see that you’re watching.” He smirks, soon ordering his own drink as he drank it.

“I just looked–not watching.” You replied to him as you sip on your glass of daiquiri that you ordered earlier, your lips slowly gliding on the rim of the glass.

You didn’t notice that Roger was looking at you and down your lips that were touching the rim of the glass. He didn’t thought about be interested in you, but aside of those ladies that surrounds him earlier, you’re more than that. He thought that you were like a magic that just appeared out of nowhere in his life and you were quite a vision to him. He thinks that after Reese, his love-life would be nothing but experiencing a heartbreak weather and will never get better, but you walked in this club, introduced by Deacy and he feels you’re different, and he feels different when you’re already standing before him. It’s the same feeling when he met Reese when they’re both in highschool, but far more better.

“You’re quite interesting Y/N.” Roger said and you turn your look to him again.

“I’m surprised that I’m more interesting that those girls around you, what makes you think of that Roger?.” You taunt him, feeling your self-confidence going higher.

“Finally, you’re flirting with me.” The drummer chuckles.

You blushed in his words as you let out a chuckle, “I don’t think I’m flirting with you Roger.” You denied his words.

“What a shame because I wish you had been.”

___________________________

reader’s outfit in the club:

taglist: @peter-sue-the-management @beatlesdotcom

IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE TAGLIST, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor x you #roger taylor angst #queen band #queen fanfiction #queen fic #queen imagines #queenrogah's fic #freddie mercury #Brian May #John Deacon

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hlupdate · 4 years

Link

Here he comes, one of the planet’s most conspicuous young men, stepping out of the London drizzle and into a dusty suburban pub. If there was an old vinyl record player in the place it would scratch quiet. Instead, the two-dozen punters turn hushed and intent, as if a unicorn has just trotted in off the street, and nobody wants to scare it off. “That’s frickin’ Harry frickin’ Styles,” whispers a young man at the bar, “in this pub.” The pop star is asked what he wants to drink and in a voice already inclined to undertones, quietly orders a cup of tea.

A former teen star who is now 25, a happier and rockier solo artist since his boyband One Direction split a few years ago, Styles has hidden himself inside a large, swamp-green parka. He’s tall, around the 6ft mark, and carries himself with a slight stoop. If Styles could only do something about his appearance from the neck up (elfin brow, wide Joker smile, a face that’s recognisable across multiple continents) you sense he could drink in pubs like this anonymously enough. As it is, cover blown, he removes the parka. A woolly jumper beneath has a picture of the planet Saturn on it. Maybe they’ve heard of Styles there, too.

We take a seat in the corner. On nearby tables, conversations start to sputter as people try to keep their own talk ticking along on autopilot while straining to hear what Styles says. I ask him about the sheer strangeness of this and other aspects of fame. Full stadiums, swooning admirers, an excess of opportunity and cash. Why isn’t Styles an absolute ordeal of a human being by now? Keith Richards, at a comparable stage, imagined himself the pirate leader of a travelling nation-state, unbound by international law. Elton John was on vast amounts of cocaine. Meanwhile, here’s Harry, known in the music industry as a bit of a freak, medically, having maintained abnormally high levels of civility in his system.

Styles tilts his head, flattered. There are others, he promises. “People who are successful, and still nice. It’s when you meet the people who are successful and aren’t nice, you think: What’s yer excuse? Cos I’ve met the other sort.”

Styles read Keith Richards’ autobiography a while back, and he recently finished Elton’s, too. (“Soooo much cocaine,” he marvels.) We talk for a bit about whether extreme dissolute behaviour and artistic greatness go hand in hand. Styles, who has just released his second solo album, Fine Line, the penultimate track of which is called Treat People With Kindness, has to hope not. “I just don’t think you need to be a dick to be a good artist. But, then, there are also a lot of good artists who are dicks. So. Hmm. Maybe I need to start scaring babies in supermarkets?”

A couple of lads hustle over to offer drinks. A photo is requested; they say they’ll wait. I’m weirdly anxious about Styles’s phone, which is slung on the table in front of him. What must be the black-market value of that thing? If fans were to get hold of it, would they want to open Styles’s music app first, to listen to tracks from the new album, or rush to see his messages and calls, to find out who Styles has been flirting with late at night? The interest in his music has always run at a ratio of about 50/50 with the interest in who he is dating.

It’s a ratio Styles tries to adjust in favour of the music by being vague about his ex-partners, real and rumoured (Taylor Swift, Kendall Jenner, Parisian model Camille Rowe), diverting to discuss his songs about failed relationships. A year ago, when Styles was floating around near this pub in north London, where he lives, and California, where he tends to record, looking for inspiration for the new album, his close friend Tom Hull told him: “Just date amazing women, or men, or whatever, who are going to fuck you up… Let it affect you and write songs about it.”

Styles, who writes in collaboration with Hull and producer Tyler Johnson, sounds as if he took the advice. The new album, Fine Line, is at its best when capturing late-hours moments, drunk calls, “wandering hands”, kitchen snogs. A golden-haired lover recurs. There are up tracks, down tracks, some with the trippy delirium of harpsichord-era Stones, others with the angsty Britpop swell of strings. While I listened, I couldn’t help scribbling down names, possible subjects. On the lyric “There’s a piece of you in how I dress” I wrote: maybe Kendall? In a song about a lover “way too bright for me”: surely Taylor.

Styles says he keeps to a general rule: write what comes and don’t think about it too much afterwards. The only time he worries about an individual lyric is if it risks putting an ex in a difficult position. “If a song’s about someone, is that fine? Or is that gonna get annoying for them, if people try to decipher it?” Has he ever got that judgment call wrong and taken a bollocking from an angry ex? Styles raises an eyebrow. “Maybe ask me in a month.”

I quiz him on something I’ve often wondered about. Why are the very famous so inclined to hook up with the very famous? From the outside it looks twice the hassle, with twice the odds of ending badly. “Don’t we all do that, though?” Styles asks. “Go into things that feel relatively doomed from the start?” I ask him why he doesn’t date normals. He seems tickled: “Um. I mean, I do. I have a private life. You just don’t know about it.”

Styles doesn’t particularly like being asked about his love life, but is amused all the same, as he is about most things. When I ask about the logistics of someone as well known as him dating someone anonymous (“Do you need to give them, like, some sort of primer?”), Styles snorts with laughter.

“Uh-h-h. Like any conversation, I guess, it’s easier if you’re honest. But I try to let it come up when it comes up. Cos that’s a weird thing to talk about, y’know? If you’ve just started seeing someone, and you’re, like: [he adopts a throaty, mission-briefing voice] So! This is what’s gonna happen!” Styles holds out his hands: no, ta. “I don’t wanna have that conversation, man. It would be fucking weird.”

And not very sexy, I say.

“Not sexy,” Styles says, “no.”

A quick aside about his accent, which is hard to capture in print. (“Nat sexy, no.”) After a workout in a hotel gym recently, Styles says he was taken aback (“taken abeck”) to be asked by a stranger whether he was speaking in a fake voice. He was appalled. But after so long crossing borders and time zones, living and working between England and the US, the accent has undergone a jazzy remix, and tends to get farthest from its Cheshire roots when he’s around strangers. Once Styles begins to get comfortable in the pub, the flatter, no-nonsense sounds of his youth return. Nowpe he says, for nope. Fook, for fuck.

“What the fook are they?” This was the response of his childhood pals, he remembers, back in the village of Holmes Chapel, when little Harry had the gumption to show up in the playground wearing Chelsea boots instead of the approved chunky trainers. Styles’s parents had separated when he was very young, but there is no origin-story trauma: he has always stayed close to both. His mother, Anne, would praise his singing voice in the car, and when Styles was 16 it was agreed he could audition for a singing contest on TV.

“The craziest part about the whole X Factor thing,” says Styles, who auditioned for the ITV reality show in 2010, “is that it’s so instant. The day before, you’ve never been on telly. Then suddenly…” Suddenly you’re a piece of national property. “You don’t think at the time, ‘Oh, maybe I should keep some of my personal stuff back for myself.’ Partly because, if you’re a 16-year-old who does that, you look like a jumped-up little shit. Can you imagine? ‘Sorry, actually, I’d rather not comment…’ You don’t know what to be protective of.”

By the winter of 2010, Styles was a fan favourite, a key member of One Direction, a five-piece that enjoyed enormous national exposure and gathered millions of fans before any music had been released. Cameras filmed every part of their rise. There wasn’t any time in the dark to practise, test things out, mentally brace. “We didn’t get to dip in a toe,” Styles says. “But, listen, I was a kid, all I knew was: I didn’t have to go to school any more. I thought it was fucking great.” He remembers having a lot of fun, and being well taken care of. He jokes: “Maybe it’s something I’ll have to deal with a bit later. When I wake up in my 40s and think: Arrrggh.”

In February 2012, One Direction were feted at the Brit Awards, hours before they were due to fly to the US for the first time. On TV that night they looked young, silly, chuffed – on the precipice of something huge, and with no clue at all. Their subsequent wonder-run (five platinum albums, four world tours) had its foundations in their ridiculous popularity in the States. Right away, Styles remembers, “We were fuelling a machine. Keeping the fire going.” He remembers it as a stimulating time; maybe overstimulating. “Coming out of it, when the band stopped, I realised that the thing I’d been missing, because it was all so fast paced, was human connection.”

I first met Styles in 2014, around the time the lack of human connection was starting to bite. One Direction were promoting their penultimate album and I’d been commissioned to write about themthe Guardian. Management felt the boys were so exhausted that my minutes in their presence had to be strictly counted. Inside a circle of cripplingly hot lights, while someone ran the stopwatch, we interacted as humanly as we could.

I remember how jaded the best singer in the group, Zayn Malik, seemed. (Malik was weeks away from quitting.) I also remember how flattered and bewildered the others were to be asked a few grownup questions – and not what Louis Tomlinson would later describe to me as “who’s-your-favourite-superhero… all that shit”. Styles was watchful and quiet that day. By total chance, a week later, we were in the same London cafe and he tapped my shoulder. He was having lunch with friends. “Will ya join us?”

t struck me as a quietly classy move. I was fascinated to see him interact with mates he’d chosen for himself. Styles was dry and funny, older than his years. After lunch we said the usual things about keeping in touch, and followed each other on Twitter. I kept an eye on his updates, about leaving One Direction, releasing an impressive, self-titled debut album in 2017, playing for 36,000 people in Madison Square Garden in New York, acting in Christopher Nolan’s Oscar-nominated war movie Dunkirk. Meanwhile, I did my best to manage the mess that had been made of my own account after Styles’s Twitter follow ignited a small explosion of teenage longing in my mentions. For at least a year I received weekly, sometimes daily, pleas from people who wanted messages conveyed to “H”. Still now, every few days, fans in America, Asia and Europe follow me to “see what H sees” in their timeline.

He has around 50 million social media followers, and with that comes the ability to ripple the internet like somebody airing a bedsheet. I’ve noticed, though, how rarely Styles directs people to support specific causes, last doing so in 2018, when he encouraged people to join a march against gun violence. Why don’t you use your influence more, I ask? “Because of dilution. Because I’d prefer, when I say something, for people to think I mean it.” He runs his fingertips across the table. “To be honest, I’m still searching for that one thing, y’know. Something I can really stand up for, and get behind, and be like: This Is My Life Fight. There’s a power to doing the one thing. You want your whole weight behind it.”

It’s one of the things that sets Styles apart, the way he puts his whole weight behind the different aspects of this strange job. If you watch footage of him as a guest host on Saturday Night Live last month, Styles plunges in, fully inhabiting the silliness of every sketch. He has good songs in his repertoire (2017’s ballad Sign Of The Times stands out), and would probably admit to some middling songs that attest to his relative inexperience as a writer. But whichever of his songs Styles performs, he goes all-in, trusting that his zest and energy will hold an audience’s attention. He approaches this interview in roughly the same spirit, not enjoying every question, fidgeting, pleading for clemency once or twice, but giving everything due consideration.

I bring up something Styles joked about earlier: the possibility of waking up in his 40s with deferred mental health problems.

“Mm,” he says

Have you thought about therapy, I ask, to get ahead of that?

“I go,” he says. “Not every week. But whenever I feel I need it. For a really long time I didn’t try therapy, because I wanted to be the guy who could say: ‘I don’t need it.’ Now I realise I was only getting in my own way.” He shrugs. “It helps.”

Lately he’s been reading a lot (Lisa Taddeo’s Three Women stood out). He’s watched a lot of Netflix (crime thrillers and music docs). He recently cried through Slave Play on Broadway. I sense in Styles, at 25, a pent-up undergraduate hunger, maybe a desire to make up for lost time. “I’ve definitely been wanting to learn stuff, try stuff,” he says. “Things I didn’t grow up around. Things I’d always been a little bit sceptical about. Like therapy, like meditation. All I need to hear is someone saying, ‘Apparently, it’s amazing’, and I’ll try it. When I was in Los Angeles once, I heard about juice cleanses. I thought, yeah, I’ll do a juice cleanse.”

How messy were the results?

“You mean…?” Styles raises an eyebrow, recalling the poos. “They were all right. I was just hungry. And bored.”

One notable feature of Styles’s solo career has been his headlong embrace of unconventional clothing. A 2017-18 tour could have been sponsored by the Dulux colour wheel: mustard tones in Sydney, shocking pink in Dallas. In a more serious sense, some of Styles’s choices have fed into an important political discussion about gendered fashion. In May, as a co-host at the Met Gala in New York, he stepped out in a sheer blouse and a pearl earring. One evening’s work challenged a lot of stubborn preconceptions about who gets to wear what.

He says: “What women wear. What men wear. For me it’s not a question of that. If I see a nice shirt and get told, ‘But it’s for ladies.’ I think: ‘Okaaaay? Doesn’t make me want to wear it less though.’ I think the moment you feel more comfortable with yourself, it all becomes a lot easier.”

What do you mean, I ask?

Styles is leaning forward, hands folded around his cup of tea. “A part of it was having, like, a big moment of self-reflection. And self-acceptance.” He has a habit, when he’s made a definitive statement, of raising his chin and nodding a little, as if to decide whether he still agrees with himself. “I think it’s a very free, and freeing, time. I think people are asking, ‘Why not?’ a lot more. Which excites me. It’s not just clothes where lines have been blurred, it’s going across so many things. I think you can relate it to music, and how genres are blurring…”

Sexuality, too, I say.

“Yep,” says Styles. “Yep.”

There’s a popular perception, I say, that you don’t define as straight. The lyrics to your songs, the clothes you choose to wear, even the sleeve of your new record – all of these things get picked apart for clues that you’re bisexual. Has anyone ever asked you though?

“Um. I guess I haaaaave been asked? But, I dunno. Why?”

You mean, why ask the question?

“Yeah, I think I do mean that. It’s not like I’m sitting on an answer, and protecting it, and holding it back. It’s not a case of: I’m not telling you cos I don’t want to tell you. It’s not: ooh this is mine and it’s not yours.”

What is it then?

“It’s: who cares? Does that make sense? It’s just: who cares?”

I suppose my only question, then, is about the stuff that looks like clue dropping. Because if you don’t want people to care, why hint? Take the album sleeve for Fine Line. With its horizontal pink and blue stripes, a splash of magenta, the design seems to gesture at the trans and bisexual pride flags. Which is great – unless the person behind it happens to be a straight dude, sprinkling LGBTQ crumbs that lead nowhere. Does that make sense?

Styles nods. “Am I sprinkling in nuggets of sexual ambiguity to try and be more interesting? No.” As for the rest, he says, “in terms of how I wanna dress, and what the album sleeve’s gonna be, I tend to make decisions in terms of collaborators I want to work with. I want things to look a certain way. Not because it makes me look gay, or it makes me look straight, or it makes me look bisexual, but because I think it looks cool. And more than that, I dunno, I just think sexuality’s something that’s fun. Honestly? I can’t say I’ve given it any more thought than that.”

In our musty corner of the pub we’ve somehow passed a couple of hours in intense discussion. We’ll lighten up, before Styles heads home, with some chat about clever films (Marriage Story), stupider viral videos (the little boy who’s just learned the word “apparently”), that favourite-superhero stuff that, after all, has its place. He talks about the curious double time scheme of a pop star’s life – those crammed 18-hour days and then the sudden empty off-time when Styles might find himself walking miles across London to buy a book, afterwards congratulating himself: “Well, that’s an hour filled.”

Before we stand up I ask if he’s minded any of my questions.

He pushes out his lips, possibly recalling them one by one, then shakes his head. “What I would say, about the whole being-asked-about-my-sexuality thing – this is a job where you might get asked. And to complain about it, to say you hate it, and still do the job, that’s just silly. You respect that someone’s gonna ask. And you hope that they respect they might not get an answer.”

I tell him I do.

“Cool.”

Styles has to find those lads who wanted a photo. He scoops his phone off the table and flicks his thumb around the screen. Lately, he says, when he messes around on his phone in an idle moment, it’s mostly to look at videos – clips that his friends have sent him, in which their kids sing along to music he’s made. “Never gets old,” Styles says, beaming.

A few years ago, when he emerged from the boyband, blinking, shattered, he set himself three tasks: prioritise friends, learn how to be an adult, achieve a proper balance between the big and the small. Full stadiums, provocative outfits – Styles genuinely loves these things. “But I guess I’ve realised, as well,” he says, “that the coolest things are not always the cool things. Do you know what I mean?” He grabs his parka and his phone and, a little stooped, heads for home.

#harry styles #the guardian #stunt mention #131219

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years

Text

Lost one sibling, gained four more; Queen x teen reader pt.1

*Author's note*

Can this be true? Two updates in one day?! Well you better damn BELIEVE IT MY PEOPLE!!! I just got this request FINALLY done after working non-stop when I could and finally I had time to just sit down and finish it. So I'd love to thank the requestor for being SOOO patient. And yes this request is VERY long so this is just Part one, pt.2 will be posted immediately after this so just hang tight my darlings :)

So warnings include: INSANE FLUFF, cancerous sickness (leukemia), some angst (but not in the part but buckle up for pt.2), and the lovely and nasty Queenies :) Hope you all enjoy this fic as much as you've enjoyed the last one :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

______________________________________________________________

*Tokyo, Japan 1974*

Being here in Tokyo, Japan has been such a thrill. Even though the boys weren't overly popular like the Beatles or Elton John just yet back home in England, at least here in Japan they've greeted them like royalty. There were screaming fans everywhere to greet us at the airport holding up pictures, drawings and signs welcoming the guys to their home country.

The boys had a press conference earlier today and now we were in a special garden just behind the Tokyo tower for the tea ceremony. It was such a beautiful day for such a ceremony and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

As I looked at the boys I could tell they were extremely happy to be here. I looked down at my art book and went back to sketching the boys who were all sitting along the blanket holding their Japanese teacups. Making sure to get each detail of each of their features, and the last detail like the wind blowing their hair down just right.

Oh I should introduce myself; my names (y/n) (l/n). I had gotten a job being an assistant to the band's lawyer Jim Beach just before Queen began recording their 3rd album "Sheer Heart attack". Since joining the boys over a year ago when I was just 16 years old, they have become like a second family to me.

And it's exactly what I needed because—well I've been dealing with some hardships in my family as of late for the past few years now, so being with the guys has really helped brighten my day.

As I watched the boys play with their gifts given to them by the Japanese fans and giving them a recorded message, curtesy of the Japanese press that had joined us along with the ladies who help run the tea ceremonies for only the elite politicians of Japan.

God were they ever silly, Roger photobombing behind in almost every message, Deacy being a secret cheeky guy, Freddie interrupting Roger's greeting, and Brian stepping in when he felt like it during Fred's message. I continued my outline of the boys on the blanket with the Tokyo tower in the background, when I felt something touch behind my ear.

"A blossom for our blossom." I softly grinned and turned around to see Freddie and Deacy standing behind me. I lifted my hand to see just what he had done but he told me, "No, no darling don't touch it. Deacy darling, take a picture of us two."

I blushed and tried to bury my face into my hands.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no love not this time. You've been avoiding all pictures ever since we got here. I deserve at least one with you in it for myself." Deacy said as Freddie pulled me close onto his lap and leaned his head against mine.

"You guys are nuts, you know that?"

"But you love us dear." Freddie said as he gave my temple a quick peck.

"Yeah, guess I do."

"Alright you two look this way." Deacy said as he prepped his camera. We turned to face Deacy and I wrapped my arms around Fred's neck and his arms went around my waist as we leaned our heads against each other's. Deacy got in a few pictures and he said. "Beautiful."

"Tell me we can see the blossom in her hair Deacy."

"Yep, got a clear picture of that." I gently removed the twig from my hair to see a multiple line of cheery blossoms. I smiled and that's when Fred grabbed my art book.

"Working on some new sketches darling?"

"Yeah, Japan's definitely given me some beautiful inspiration. But most of it is still a work in process, so no lookies."

"Aww c'mon dear let me have a sneak peek, please? From one designer to another?"

"No not even if you were my professor Freddie."

"Oh you better hand over the sketch book (Y/n) darling, if you know it's good for you." He playfully threatened. I gripped my book tightly to my chest and that's when he said. "Fine, you leave me no choice. Roger!"

"Shit no!" I took off running and before I even knew it, Roger quickly swooped in and swung me around and he said.

"Might as well give up lovie, you know it's useless to get out of my grasp." He emphasized his point by nuzzling my head like a cat and peppering my face with slobbery kisses.

"Eww Rog! Cut it out!!" I tried to escape his grip but as always it was pointless to escape the arms of Roger Taylor. He kept peppering kisses all over my face, even poking me in the sides slightly tickling me till the grip on my notebook was just enough for it to fall.

Deacy caught it and handed it to Fred.

"Thank you my darlings."

"Deacy, Rog, you both are on the official hate list. I no longer like you two." I huffed.

"Aww, that hurts poppet, that really hurts." Deacy mocked using the puppy dog eyes on me that he knew I couldn't resist.

"After all we've been through (n/n) you'd just dump me like that?" Roger faked cried.

"You are such a drama queen Rog." He grinned and playfully ruffled my hair and that's when Freddie said.

"Ohh (y/n) darling. These are—there's not even a word that can describe what I'm looking at. The realism is uncanny down to the last detail. You even got Brian's hair right and not even I can do that."

"I'll admit, even though I'm no artist that these pictures look like a photograph being developed. You're truly talented (y/n)." Deacy praised me as he looked over Fred's shoulder. Brian soon came up and he said.

"I must admit Fred's right. Every hair detail for all of us is down to the straight detail. Do you—think I could get a signed copy of this?"

"Not if I take one first Brian." Roger spoke up.

"I swear darling, you should go to the university I went to; Ealing Art college. They'd be soo lucky to have you."

"Well.....I mean they're okay but I don't think they're worthy of that university." I muttered.

"Don't be so modest darling, I'll even give you a recommendation. As an alumni I can have the rights to help you get in." he decreed.

"Well I'll—I'll think about it Freddie. Right now I just want to get through secondary school and graduate from that." After that conversation, the five of us continued to have a fun time in the Japanese garden.

After the tour in Japan, I arrived back in London and as the guys were piling in the cab Roger said.

"C'mon love let's go."

"Actually I promised my mum that I'd wait here for her. She said she was gonna take me home."

"You sure?" asked Brian.

"Yeah, she might be waiting outside right now. You guys go on ahead I'll see you guys next week."

"Alright, thanks for coming with us love."

"Thank you guys for inviting me. I had a wonderful time."

"You always make our tours and trips more memorable (y/n) dear. Drive safe." He came up and kissed my cheeks and hugged me. I hugged each of my boys and they piled into the cab waving goodbye to me. I blew them a kiss goodbye and they took off in the cab.

About five minutes after they left, my mom's van pulled up. I smiled at her and picked up my luggage and headed towards the car. I placed them in the backseat and I hugged my mum.

"Did you have fun love?"

"Ohh Japan was so beautiful, I wish you and Kay could've been there to see it."

"I'm sure your sister would've loved to have gone with you."

"How—how has she been?"

"Well we—had a bit of a scare just the other week, but she's stable now."

"What? What happened to her?! Why didn't you call me?"

"I tried but each time I did no one was answering. Plus with the time difference and this internship I didn't want you distracted."

"Mum, if something happens to Kaylee, I deserve to know." She cupped the side of my face and said.

"You're right I'm sorry. Do you wish to see her?" I nodded and said.

"I still gotta give her that gift I promised her." My mum shifted the car into drive and drove us out of the airport to London hospital.

Once we arrived at the hospital, my mum checked us in and we headed towards my sister's room on the 5th floor. Now you remember me mentioning about the family turmoil right? Well it all has to do with my bestest friend in the whole wide world, my older sister Kaylee. See about 4 or 5 years ago we noticed how she'd always get high fevers and suddenly seemed to be losing weight.

At first I thought she was going anorexic but when she passed out and my mum and I saw the bruises forming on her arms, we immediately rushed her over here to the hospital where they diagnosed her with acute myeloid leukemia.

It devastated the whole family and it really began to take a toll on my mum and now we're hardly able to afford my sister's medical bills to pay for all the chemo she has to go through. That's why I got the job with Jim in the first place.

Any checks I get from him, go straight to my sister. Not my college fund. In fact I'm not even going to college, cause I want to continue to fund for my sister's health, and finally get her the cure she deserves.

When we got to her room, there she was lying on her bed, beanie on top of her head to cover her bald head. She turned over to me and smiled tiredly.

"Hey (y/n)." I smiled and rushed over to her and hugged her without hurting her. "How was Japan?"

"It was beautiful. Maybe once you're out and better we can take a trip there."

"I hope so."

"Oh hey, I got you what you've been asking for." I went into my bag and pulled out a poster of the Queen 2 poster that had all the guys' signatures on them. I had asked them while we were in Japan if they could sign this for me. Easily able to trick them, I told them to write it for Kay, telling them that it was a nickname of sorts.

"Oh my god." She squealed softly as she took the poster in her hands and looked at it. See she's the reason why I got into Queen. Since she's two years older than me, she first heard about the first Queen album and kept playing it on repeat.

Liking the music I was hearing, she gave me a brief education on Queen and ever since then, we've been fangirls of Queen ever since. They're music has really helped my sister a lot especially since her leukemia has seemed to be getting progressively worse in the past year.

"Thank you (y/n). You are so lucky that you get to work with them."

"Well it's mostly just doing stuff for their lawyer. I don't actually help make the songs."

"Still, you're living every girl's dream right now at the chance of even being close to them. Are they nice?"

"Oh Kay, nice doesn't even begin to describe them. They're so sweet and down to earth. Cheeky at times especially Roger and Freddie, but they are all so supportive and treat me like I'm a part of their little family."

"I'm glad they're treating you right." I then showed her some of the pictures that I had drew while I was there and some of the photos I took. "God (y/n). I envy you for your drawings. And the fact that you were in Japan. You know I always wanted to go there."

"Well—maybe when you get out, we can take a trip there." Unaware of my mum's solemn attitude, my sister smiled and said.

"Yeah. Maybe we can make it just the two of us squirt." She playfully shoved my head, our friendly little gesture of affection since we were kids.

"Hey I'm 2 years younger than you."

"Still a squirt compared to me." She teased.

After about a week of being back home, I went between my final few weeks of home schooling, the studio and the hospital. Right now I was sitting with my sister, the two of us having the boys' "Sheer Heart attack" album playing in the background as my sister and I were chatting away.

"Okay so FMK; Paul McCartney, David Bowie or Elton John." I asked my sister.

"Oh Goddamnit (n/n) why make me choose those three. I love all of them!" she whined.

"Cause I'm evil like that. No c'mon you made me have to kill Brian the last time so this is payback."

"Okay, okay. So.....ugh I hate you. Okay I would marry Elton, fuck Paul and I'm sorry David. God I hate you so much!"

"Haha!"

"Well don't let David hear you say that darling." Oh god it—it can't be. We suddenly looked up and there stood Brian, Freddie, Deacy and Roger.

"Oh my god what are—what are you guys doing here?"

"You left your journal at the studio last night. We called your mum to see if we could give it to you at the house but she told us you were at the hospital." Answered Deacy as he held up my art journal.

"At first we got worried that something bad had happened to you, but then she explained to us what was going on." Continued Roger.

"So you must be the real Kay." Freddie pointed towards my sister.

"Guys I'm—I'm sorry I tricked you, I just....."

"It's alright love. There's no need to explain. It's sweet you got something for your sister after all you've done for her. But we figured maybe a visit from the real band might make her day a bit better." Brian said with a soft smile.

"I—I....." Kaylee started as the boys all came in and sat around us.

"So Kaylee darling, which of our three albums is your favorite?" asked Freddie.

"Uhh well I—it's hard to pick but I guess your recent album Sheer Heart attack is probably my favorite."

"Do you have a favorite song from the album?" asked Brian.

"Oh god uhh—can't I say I love them all? It's so hard to pick a favorite song of yours."

"That's understandable." Replied Deacy.

For the rest of the time, my sister got to ask the guys so many questions about how their musical processes, how they choose which lyrics work the best, how the arrangement works when performing, how they all got together, everything she had been dying to know since she was a music nut.

And bless the boys they answered all her questions no matter how ridiculous or embarrassing they were. Soon a nurse came in to tell me that visiting hours were over.

I hugged my sister goodbye and even the guys gave her a hug and kiss goodbye, which made her heart meter skyrocket, especially when she got a kiss to the cheek from Deacy.

I walked out with the guys and we all piled into the car and I said to them.

"Thanks you guys."

"For what lovie?" asked Roger.

"For—being nice to my sister. You four.....have made her happier than my mum and I have seen her in years since she's had to go back and forth between home and the hospital."

"You're family to us (n/n). And if we could give a little bit more back to you, it's always worth it. We're honored that you let us in on this personal matter of your life. Thank you for letting us have your trust." Said Brian.

"Just—promise me that none of this gets leaked out."

"Don't be ridiculous dear. We wouldn't dare proclaim this secret of yours out to the public. Your sister's secret heath crisis is safe with us." Freddie said as he stroked down my hair. I smiled and thanked them once more.

One year later in 1975 I was with the boys, Mr. Reid, Paul Prenter and my boss Jim Beach. We were currently in Ray Foster's office waiting for Freddie to arrive for the meeting of the next hit album. I leaned my chin against my palm as I drummed against the armrest of the chair I was sitting in.

Finally Freddie walked in greeting us with a hello.

"You're late." Said Mr. Foster.

"Am I?" questioned Freddie.

"Saved you a seat." Paul said as he gestured at the chair I was sitting at. He then glared down at me ordering me to move. I sat up but then just before I could walk away to stand beside my boss, I was pulled onto the couch and saw that it was Roger who had pulled me in to sit on his lap. He winked at me and placed a quick peck on my forehead as Mr. Reid introduced my boss to Ray Foster.

"You must stop calling him that." Freddie said as he lit himself a cigarette.

"That's his name." said Mr. Reid.

"No we cannot keep calling him Jim Beach. No that's absurd not to mention unspeakably boring." He breathed in a quick drag before proclaiming. "Miami. From now on; I dub thee, Miami Beach." My boss chuckled then said a quick little teasing joke of Miami Beach.

Truthfully I liked it, hopefully I can have the honor of calling him that one day but for now I'll just settle on Mr. Beach as I have been referring him as.

"Right now that everyone's got an acceptable name let's get to it. Look; we just really need something special. More hits, like "Killer Queen", only bigger."

"It's not bloody widgets we're making. We can't just reproduce Killer Queen." Said Roger as Freddie sat up and walked towards Ray's record player taking out a record from his bag.

"No. We can do better." Said Freddie as he placed the record on the vinyl and turned it on. He lifted the needle and placed it at a specific point and soon coming out of the speakers was the famed song from Carmen. I grinned and as Freddie gracefully walked around moving his finger around to the tun, Mr. Foster bluntly stated.

"It's opera."

"Opera!" exclaimed Mr. Reid.

"Opera." Echoed Paul.

"Ahh there seems to be an echo in here." Deacy stated which made me choke out a laugh. As the song continued, when it got to the big crescendo part of the song, Freddie went all out waving his arm in tune before on the final note, slamming his hand down on Foster's desk. He almost couldn't contain his excitement as I chuckled softly.

Brian, Rog and Deacy were also in tune to the idea as they with less enthusiasm as Freddie but the same interest followed the next crescendo of the choir. Freddie turned the volume down as Brian said.

"See we don't want to repeat ourselves. The same formula over and over."

"Formulas are a complete and utter waste of time." Freddie stated bluntly.

"Formulas work. Let's stick with the formulas. I like formulas." Mr. Foster said.

"We'll call the album......A Night at the Opera." Hmm after a Marx brother's film. Sounds interesting.

"Are you aware that no one actually likes Opera."

"I like it." I said to myself, but I guess it was loud enough because Mr. Foster looked right at me through his shades and asked skeptically.

"Do you?"

"I do as well." I heard my boss say. I looked at him and he gave me a slight nod. God he was such a cool boss.

"No don't misunderstand darling, it's a rock and roll record. With the scale of opera. The pathos of Greek tragedy, the wit of Shakespeare, the—unbridled joy of musical theatre. It's a musical experience. Rather than just another record, something for everyone something—something that will make people feel belongs to them. We'll mix genres, we'll cross boundaries, we'll—we'll—we'll speak in bloody tongues if we want to."

"There-there's no musical ghetto that can contain us." Proclaimed Roger.

"That's it." Freddie pointed towards Roger.

"No one knows what Queen means because it doesn't mean one thing." Deacy pointed out.

All was quiet, man I have a feeling that this album was gonna be the one that would put Queen on the map of the entire world, that after this they were gonna change the name of music forever.

"What do you think John?" Foster asked Mr. Reid.

"I—agree with the band."

"Of course you do." He then turned towards me and asked, "How about you uhh—" I was shocked that he wanted my opinion. I looked to the guys and they gave me an encouraging nod.

"(Y/n). Well—fortune favors the bold, does it not?" I felt Roger pat my shoulder. Freddie then leaned against Foster's desk as he said.

"Surely a man of your—unique taste. Isn't afraid of a little risk?" Foster debated before finally saying.

"Please don't make me regret this."

"You're fun." Freddie pointed out with a grin.

After the meeting, Jim called me into his office and I said as I peeked into it.

"You wished to see me sir?"

"Yes c'mon in (y/n). Have a seat." I took a seat in front of his desk. "Alright (y/n), now it's come to my attention that since you and the boys have gotten so close with each other since you started working here, I feel it's best that since I can't go with them to Rockfield due to my legal matters here as their lawyer, that I'm electing you to go with them to keep an eye on them."

I was flabbergasted. Me? Go with them to Rockfield studios?

"M—Mr. Beach....."

"Miami." Wow he did he really just ask me to call him that. "Freddie's insisted that you refer to me as that from now on." Ahh that Freddie Mercury.

"Miami. I mean it's an honor but I—I don't think I can go away for that long. I mean....."

"Please (y/n). You know as well as I do that Paul has no good intentions when it comes to Queen." That I do. Ever since working with the boys, I've had a sickening feeling about Paul Prenter. There was just something about him that felt—slimy, ill, almost like a virus.

"Yeah."

"There's no other person I would trust more to go with the boys to the farm. Plus they all believe that you should go with them anyway so it's out of my hands either way."

"I'll think about it."

"Just make sure you tell them in two days' time when they leave for the recording." I nodded and stood up. "Oh wait, one more thing. Your paycheck." He then took out his checkbook and wrote down my pay for the 2 weeks. I thanked him but when I looked down, my eyes widened.

"Wait uhh—Miami. This....this is double the normal amount you pay me."

"I know."

"I agreed to be paid 500 pounds."

"It's come to my attention there's some financial struggle you're going through. The boys wouldn't explain it in full detail but they made me aware that you were in dire need of it. Plus I know they can be a lot to handle, so you deserve 1000 anyway." I looked down but couldn't help the small smile across my face.

"Thank you—Miami." He smiled and nodded at me and I left his office with my raised paycheck. As I walked across the hall, I saw the boys go from the snooping position to trying to act nonchalantly, like they weren't spying on me. "I know you four had something to do with this." I said raising my check.

"We have no idea what you're talking about (n/n)." said Brian as he looked over his six-pence coin that served as his guitar pick.

"So you're coming with us right?" asked Freddie.

"I—I'll get back to you on that. I—I need to talk to Kay about it."

"I'm sure she'll let you come with us. C'mon love just say you'll be coming with us." Roger said as he came up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Besides you'll be much better company than Prenter. I'll go mad if I have to see him every day while we're there." Said Deacy.

"Exactly Deacy!" agreed Roger.

So that night after work, I was in Kaylee's room and I told her about what I was going to do for the summer and she was psyched for me.

"I say you go!" she proclaimed.

"But what about you?" I asked. She reached over and took my hand and she said.

"You've been doing too much for me. You've always put me over yourself. And this is your last chance to be a free kid before you start thinking about college. So please for my sake go with them. If not I'll never let you live it down. Ever."

"Okay, okay. I'll give Fred a call tomorrow and tell him."

"Call him tonight."

"Fine. And you're sure you'll be fine."

"Yes. I've got mum to look after me. And I expect new drawings, pictures and lots of stories from you when you get back."

"I promise Kay, thanks girl." She smiled as I leaned forward and we hugged each other.

In two days, the guys picked me up right at 4am on the dot so that way we'd get there by sunrise to the farm. Deacy put my bags in the trunk while I hugged and kissed my mum and sis goodbye.

"Now be sure to be good for these boys (y/n)."

"I will mum. Promise me to keep me updated on everything?"

"You know me, I'll be calling you every night." I smiled and separated from my mum before finally standing before my sister.

"Don't do anything insane till I get back." I told her. She smiled and scoffed playfully.

"How can I? You're taking all the insanity with you." I grinned back at her and the two of us embraced each other. "Have fun tigress."

"Be strong lioness."

"Oh come on let's get a move on! Anymore wasted time here and we'll be late!" I heard Paul cry out.

"Piss off Prenter! Let her say goodbye to her family." Brian sneered.

"Go on, don't want you to get into trouble." Kay said as we separated. I waved bye to them one last time and I got into the car with Rog and Deacy and soon we drove off.

"Since it'll be a long drive and it's still pretty early, why don't you try and go back to sleep (y/n)?" suggested Deacy. I nodded and leaned my head back against the car, but Deacy offered his shoulder for me to sleep on. I took his offer and in his playful jealous tone, Roger spoke up.

"What about me?"

"You fidget around too much on long car rides." I moaned tiredly.

"Why you little—"

"Face it Rog, she loves me more than you do when it comes to sleeping buddies. Isn't that right love?"

"Yeah." I heard Rog huff but then he said.

"Well at least I provide the best blankets." He emphasized that point by draping his fur coat over my shoulders as a blanket.

"Won't deny that though. You both take such good care of me."

"Only the best for you love." I nuzzled into Deacy's shoulder and exhaled tiredly through my nose and began to fall back asleep.

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radiosteve · 5 years

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Need Your Loving Tonight Ch. 7

Summary: After about a year of bassists coming in and out of the band, you and the boys may have found the perfect person to fill the position. The only issue is, you might have a teeny little crush on him. What will happen when he is formally invited to join Queen?

Note: Get ready for more John in the future! As always, the italicized part is the reader’s thoughts. The photo is one that I found on google. I do not own any rights to it. If you want to be added to the taglist send me a message or an ask and I’ll add you!

Warnings: Slight angst/anxiety

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader, John Deacon x Reader

Words: 3.1k+

May 21, 1970

A cool breeze blew in through the curtains draped around the living room window as you sat on the couch across the room. The brisk May weather was a stark contrast to what you were used to in New Jersey, but you liked it. It was almost reminded you of the fall weather back home, which was one of the few things you missed. You even considered making a quick trip back home, without telling your parents of course. The plan was all set in your head. You’d fly back after the summer term ends, stay with a girl named Karen that you worked with at the surf shop and spend every day stretched out on a towel at the beach. It was such a nice fantasy, but you definitely couldn’t afford the plane ticket right now and you had far too much going on with school and the band.

That was one of the reasons why you were currently spending your Thursday night curled up on the sofa with your economics textbook instead of at auditions with the boys. A little voice in the back of your head was concerned about missing a session of auditions, but another part of you just brushed it off and told you that there was no way they would find a bassist tonight. Your eyes shifted back onto the page in front of you, still stuck on the same lines from before, just continuously reading them over and over. The issue wasn’t that you didn’t economics, it was more so the fact that you were much more mathematically inclined and didn’t enjoy academic reading. You read the same words on the page once more as your head wandered off. It was almost as if your brain and your eyes were no longer connected.

But then the phone rang and suddenly the broken link between the two fused itself back together. An unprecedented call at 10pm on a Thursday night wasn’t necessarily creepy or unsettling, it was just odd. Your hand fumbled across the side table, reaching for the phone as it bellowed out the loud noise. Sally was trying to sleep because she had a test in the morning, and you were sure that she would not enjoy having a ringing telephone pull her from her slumber. You finally managed to grip the phone and bring it up to your ear.

“Hello,” you answered lowly, trying to be courteous to your sleeping roommate on the other side of the wall.

“Y/n, you’ll never believe it. We found a new bassist,” Brian’s voice rushed through the receiver, excitement evident in his tone.

“That’s great Bri,” you closed the textbook in your lap and pushed it off to the side, too focused on what Brian was saying to care about economics anymore. Of course, they find a new band member at the one audition I don’t attend.

“His name is Mike. He’s rather good on the bass and seems like a decent chap,” you could feel Brian’s energy pulsing through the phone, only making you dread missing the audition even more. You liked to think that you were part of the band and therefore had a say in who gets in. And in a way you were part of the band. You were extremely close to all of them, you were there from the very beginning, and you helped manage all the finances for them. Granted, you didn’t actually contribute to the music aspect very much, but it still felt weird to miss out on such a big step. Adding a new member to the band meant a shift in dynamic entirely and you weren’t too sure how that would work. “Y/n? Are you still there?” the sound of Brian’s voice echoed over the line, bringing you back to the conversation.

“Sorry, I just spaced out for a second. I’m still here,” your voice was quieter now, but you couldn’t seem to raise it. “He sounds great Brian.”

“Yeah, he’s alright,” Brian was still clouded with that sense of joy and wonder that coincided with something like this. “Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you,” you felt your stomach drop. One big change was enough, please don’t add anymore. “During auditions, the boys and I got to talking and we’ve decided to change the name of the band. We’re going to be called Queen. Freddie came up with it and we all quite liked it,” Brian rambled on, but you barely registered the rest of the words that fell from his lips. Queen. Now that’s not bad.

March 1, 1971

From the night Brian called you with the news almost a year ago, you had begun to invest all of your spare time into the band. Something about the name Queen, along with the ensemble of members, just spoke to you, and you knew they would turn out to be something special. Especially with Freddie’s songwriting and vocals. They truly were one of the most unique groups you’d ever seen. There was only one issue that stood out throughout the first year of ‘Queen’. The bassist. The first bassist, Mike, was a great player and all-around good guy. But his vision for the band didn’t quite align with the others. That’s how it had been with most of the other replacement bassists too. You could tell that the boys were starting to get frustrated. It’s hard to play shows and feel like a true band when you have a new bassist every couple months.

Oddly enough, you were more of a constant presence around the band than their own bass player at the time was. You stayed close to the boys, trying to soak up every last ounce of fun before you had to scatter off into the real world at the end of March. You were graduating in a few weeks and the job hunt was getting more serious. It was scary to think about. Every decision you make from here on out could have serious consequences that effect you for the rest of your life. Brian tried to calm you down when you brought it up to him, but he didn’t really understand. He had the band to rely on and if that didn’t work out, he could just go back to school.

Sometimes you would think back to that night in April a few years ago and just lose yourself in the endless possibilities that could have happened if you had chosen to go to a different school. For one thing, you probably wouldn’t be living in England, that’s for sure. But you brushed it off, knowing its best not to dwell on the past, and you know that going to Imperial was one of the best decisions that you’ve ever made. How else would you have met the wonderful Brian May? And who knows what state the band would be in without you. Would they even be together? You could only hope.

As your last term went on, your intensity to find the perfect job did too. Right now, you were mainly looking at jobs in finances and all that fun stuff. Roger would tease you from time to time about the idea of such a mundane job, but you just brushed it off. It’s something you enjoyed, so why not pursue it?

Ever since the night you and Roger slept together, things had been a little off between you. The two of you acted as if everything was perfectly fine, but hidden underneath there was still some undiscussed tension. Brian noticed the slightly awkward eye contact or the way you always seemed to move away from Roger when he came close, but he avoided bringing it up to you. He knew it would only unearth unwanted memories. However, in some weird way, your friendship with Roger remained unaffected, or at least improved slightly. You started to grow more comfortable with him again and even went back to smoking by the window of Brian’s flat with him, just with a little more distance. You still had some unresolved feelings for him, but you figured it was best to push them away rather than act. The two of you continued with your normal act of playfully teasing one another, and you even managed to get Freddie to join in on messing with Roger.

You and Freddie got even closer once he joined the band, and he even introduced you to his girlfriend Mary. The two of you always managed to make trouble backstage or at afterparties. You grew so close that Freddie hardly ever let you miss a show, rehearsal, or even audition. And that was how you got sucked into sitting in on a session of bass auditions with the boys sometime in February. You had stopped going to auditions after they found someone to replace Mike, but Freddie practically begged you to help with this one.

Brian picked you up before heading to the empty music hall at the college. You brought three different textbooks with you in an attempt to finish some of your readings while you were confined to the blank walls of a lecture theatre. A few people came to audition, but no one seemed to really stick out. You had primarily been focused on reading before a tall boy with wavy, long brown hair came in. It was as if you couldn’t look away from him no matter how much you tried. Unfortunately, a certain blonde drummer across the room had the same issue with you and took notice of your fixation on this new bassist. The bass player introduced himself as John Deacon and promptly shook hands with everyone. His fingers may have lingered on yours a bit, either that or you imagined it.

John was an excellent musician, even Roger reluctantly agreed with that. And despite his somewhat shy and giggly demeanor, John fit in quite nicely with the group. After he left, you all looked around at each other and knew you had just found the new bassist for Queen.

In the beginning of March, Brian had invited everyone over to his flat so that they could formally induct John into the band. You had arrived early to help Brian prepare for company. Even though it was just the boys coming over, Brian wanted to make it nice and have some homemade snacks. He recruited you to help him make fresh brownies, despite how juvenile it may have seemed.

“Brian,” you called out his name from the kitchen sink, where you stood washing dishes.

“Yes, love,” Brian popped up from behind a lounge chair where he had been dusting.

“You did set a timer for the brownies like I asked, didn’t you?” Brian’s face turned a slight shade of red as he realized that he hadn’t. Your eyebrows raised as you saw him leap towards the oven and pull it open to see the brownies in perfect condition.

“Oh, thank god. I thought they were going to burn,” Brian took the brownies out and set them on the stove top before returning to the living room to finish dusting. You chuckled under your breath at how worrisome Brian seemed to get over such small details before returning your attention back to the dishes. After a few minutes, Brian came up behind you and leaned down enough to rest his head on your shoulder. You giggled at the feeling of his curls brushing against your ear.

“What are you doing?” you asked as he continued to rest his head on you.

“I wanted to say thank you. Not just for helping me out today, but for all of your support. I know it’s been a lot of work over the years and I really appreciate all of your help with the band. And I’m sure the boys do too. If you weren’t around to help us we’d probably be disbanded by now in all honesty.” Brian looked at you as he spoke, his head still glued to your shoulder. “It means so much to me. I couldn’t have asked for a better best friend. I’m really glad that you fell asleep next to me in that Astronomy lecture,” Brian chuckled before standing up and walking back to the living room as you groaned.

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

“Never in a million years,” Brian reaffirmed as the door opened to reveal John, Roger, and Freddie. “There you all are. Thought you got lost on the way over,” the three of them all sat scattered around the living room as you dried off your hands.

“Of course not darling, we were just waiting on Rog here to come pick us up. He took his dear old time,” Freddie gave Roger a pointed glare before relaxing into the couch.

“Would have been here sooner but I had this girl over and I just could not get her to leave. She was quite the talker,” Roger responded with a smirk as his tongue poked out to lick his lips. You could have sworn that you saw his eyes dart to yours as he spoke but there was no way to know for sure. Instead you just rolled your eyes and watched as Brian brought over the tray of brownies. You sat down on the couch next to Freddie as John sat in the chair opposite of you.

“Anyways, we’re all here now so we can get started,” Brian said before sitting in the space on the couch next to you. Brian cleared his throat before speaking again and your eyes trailed over, landing on John. You were enamored by him, and that fact that he was super sweet definitely helped. From the two or three times that you’ve met him now, John seemed so bashful and there was something that pulled you in and attracted you to him. He was observant and you could tell, that’s why he was so quiet. Everything about John made your heart race and your stomach fill to the brim with butterflies. It had been a long time since you had felt like that. “So, John,” Brian looked up from his hands that sat folded in his lap and scanned over everyone’s face before landing on John’s. “We’ve talked about it, and we’d all like to formally invite you to be the band’s new bassist.”

“Really?” John squeaked out, although you couldn’t tell whether it was out of excitement or shock. “I mean that’s great; I’d love to. As long as I’m still able to do my schoolwork. I’ve still got a few years left before I can graduate and get my degree.” You let a smile take over and spread across your face as John spoke. It’s kind of cute that he still wants to prioritize school over the band. Then the smile slid off your face upon remembering how much younger John is in comparison to you. Three years really isn’t that much of a difference when you’re older, but at your age it seemed like an eternity. Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait a little bit to make a move then. If I make a move.

Your small existential crisis was quickly interrupted by the boys who were now all standing and shaking hands. It wasn’t until after they all sat back down that Roger leaned over and grabbed a brownie from the tray. He looked you directly in the eye as he took a bite, and you turned your gaze in a different direction. You have no clue what Roger’s intentions are, but god he’s doing a great job at making you feel warm and embarrassed.

“I’m gonna go outside and smoke for a bit. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you stood up, grabbing your lighter and cigarettes from your bag. The boys all nodded, continuing their conversation and eating more of the brownies you and Brian made. The light breeze from outside felt nice against your heated skin as you puffed along, watching the cars pass by in front of Brian’s building. You heard the door swing open, pulling your focus away from the busy cars. Your head snapped back to the direction of the street after seeing who it was.

“What is it love? Not in the mood to see me?”

“Just trying to smoke in peace, that’s all,” you brought the cigarette to your lips, trying to give yourself an excuse to ignore him and not talk.

“Me too,” Roger held up his own box of cigarettes and playfully shook them in front of you. He put one between his teeth, lighting it up as he moved closer to stand next to you. “How do you feel about John?” Roger’s words were muffled by the smoke as he turned to you.

“What? What do you mean?” Does he know that I think John is cute? Is that why he’s out here? Is he mad at me because of it?

“What do you think of John as the band’s new bassist? He’s quite different from the rest of us. But I think he’s pretty good. Could be the missing piece to the band,” Roger shrugged as he continued to talk, and you couldn’t help but notice how nervous he seemed to be. You just assumed that the nerves stemmed from his worries about the band’s future, but in reality, Roger’s jitters came from standing so close to you.

From the first night he saw you after you two had sex, Roger felt like a huge strain was put on the relationship he had with you. You didn’t seem very comfortable being alone with him anymore, and he could definitely understand why. This was the closest he had been to you since that night. As soon as you left his flat that morning after, Roger had kicked himself for it over and over. He let his stupid fears take over and dictate his actions. It was as if he decided to listen to the doubts in his head instead of the affirmations from his heart. If someone were to ask him what his biggest regret was, he’d probably lie and say something dumb like buying something that was too expensive. But really, he knew that his biggest regret would always and forever be you. He should have never rejected your request to go on a date, because now things were different and would probably never be the same.

“I hope he lasts,” you spoke quietly, but your words were still loud enough for Roger to hear over the roar of engines and horns coming from the road.

“Yeah?” he looked into your eyes, swimming in every inch of color as you nodded at his response. “Why’s that?”

“You said it yourself, Rog. He could be the missing piece.”

Taglist: @Retromusicsalad @bohemiansweede @deaconsroger @queen-crue @ohtheseboysilove @Queeniesteiins @kemeryyyy @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ixchel-9275 @luvborhap @ziggymay @deakysmisfire @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives @briarrose26

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retrosounds · 5 years

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He’s Perfect For You, Darling (ch.1)

summary: you run into freddie mercury after a queen concert and you two become extremely close friends. he introduces you to the band and you find yourself falling for roger but are too scared to admit it because you don’t think he feels the same.

characters: Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor, Rami Malek!Freddie Mercury, Gwilym Lee!Brian May, Joe Mazzello!John Deacon

“Y/N!” Elio called from outside of your room, “You almost ready in there?”

“Yeah, come in!” You replied through the door as you slid on your final ring. You were experimenting with your style tonight, trying to take more risks and look a bit bolder. You eyed yourself in the mirror. You liked this new look, it suited you. I should experiment more often, you thought to yourself.

“Who are you trying to impress?” Elio quipped as he walked into your room. You hit him playfully as you stood up to grab your coat. He had been one of your closest friends since you moved to the UK at the begging of the semester. You connected over music, especially that of the band Queen, which was so fitting considering that you were going to their concert tonight.

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll find a boyfriend in the crowd.” You joked back.

“Or maybe one in the band,” Elio winked at you as you rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah right, like someone in the band is going to single me out in a crowd of thousands of screaming girls.” You shot back sarcastically.

“With all that jewelry on, they might be able to!” Elio jabbed.

You shot him an evil glare before both of you broke out laughing.

“You know I’m kidding, you look great,” Elio spoke sincerely.

“We should go before the crowds get crazy”

The show was absolutely breathtaking. Your move to England had taken all of your money, so you didn’t have a penny to your name several months ago when you discovered queen was coming to your town. You were determined to go, so you had gotten a seasonal job so you could scrape together some cash and buy tickets. And boy, was it worth it. You never wanted the show to end. The energy was so intoxicating, it was the most electric you had felt in a long time.

Even once the concert was over, you weren’t ready to go.

“Come on y/n, let's go home. It’s so late and we have class tomorrow.” Elio pleaded. Yet for some reason, you just couldn’t seem to convince yourself to leave. You were still living in the ‘concert high’ and you knew once you got on the train back to your apartment you would have to face the reality that the perfect evening was over.

“Oh come on, let’s stay here a little longer, maybe head down to a pub or something. Let’s have some fun!” You said excitedly in your best attempt to convince him.

“I’m taking the next train home. I hate to be a buzzkill, but it’s a school night.”

“And there will be many more school nights. But tonight is special, it’s the only one of it’s kind so let's make an exception.” You reached for his hand to drag him along with you, but he pulled away.

“I’m sorry y/n.” Elio spoke and he began walking in the other direction.

You huffed loudly. You weren’t going to let him ruin your perfect night. But you didn’t just want to go into a random pub alone this late at night.

“I’ll show you a good time darling,” A familiar voice spoke behind you.

Freddie.

You spun around quickly trying to confirm that the voice you were hearing was actually his.

Your eyes scanned his body in his extravagant outfit. His hair was messy and his skin was coated in sweat, yet he stood in his confident pose never the less.

“I was just about to go down to the nearby pub for some drinks when I noticed you. It looks like you could use some company. Care to join me?” He asked.

“Let’s go,” You nodded, Freddie’s face lighting up when you did so.

“Finally I’ve found somebody fun.” He chuckled, leading you to the pub.

“Fred,” You laughed, “You’re going the wrong way.”

“Can I be frank with you dear, I’ve never been here before.” He said hysterically, “I have absolutely no idea what direction I am going.”

You had learned your way around town by now and quickly guided him to the pub. The two of you talked all night. You had completely lost track of time. It was 5 am by the time you two left the bar. It was 5am and you were both shitface drunk.

“Oh y/n you’re certainly not attempting to leave me and go to your classes like this are you darling?” Freddie questioned as you stumbled into the empty streets. “Come, stay with me in my hotel room.”

“Of course, Freddie.” You spoke softly. You were exhausted and could care less about your classes at this point.

It was 1 in the afternoon when you awoke on Freddie's couch in his hotel room. Freddie was standing in front of a large mirror, dressed in a bathrobe looking fresh out of the shower as he combed his mustache.

“You clearly don’t get shitfaced often, darling.” Freddie joked.

“You clearly have forgotten that I’m a student, Fred. I can’t skip my classes every day. I would get sent back to America if I did that.”

“Well America is a fascinating place with fascinating people, I’ve toured there.”

You laughed as you made your way to the mirror where he was standing while you fixed your tangled hair.

“I quite like you, y/n.” Freddie spoke, looking at you in the mirror. “Come to the show tonight, it’s only a 4-hour drive. I’ll take you backstage to meet the guys after. It will be fun, they’ll love you.”

You imagined what it would feel like to go back to that same high you felt last night, this time meeting the band afterward too. It was impossible to say no.

“I’d love to Fred, but I need to change first.”

“Well, there is no time to bring you home, just look through my bag. Half of my clothes are woman's sizes anyways. Find something you like.” Freddie spoke.

When you had said you wanted to be more experimental with your style, you certainly had not expected to be sporting Freddie Mercury’s extravagant wardrobe the next day.

“And now you’re at their concert?” Elio clarified after you finished telling him about the evening you had on the payphone.

“Yes!” You cheered, “And Freddie says he’s going to get me backstage to meet the rest of the band!” You could hardly believe all of the words coming out of your mouth as you spoke to Elio, and you could tell he couldn’t believe it either.

“You better get an autograph for me, understand?” Elio spoke.

“Of course I will,” You spoke smiling widely. “I have to go, the show is about to start, talk to you later, okay?”

“Have fun, make out with one of the guys won’t you?” Elio joked.

“Goodbye Elio.” You said through your laughter before hanging up and hurrying into the auditorium.

And just like the night before, the concert was absolutely amazing. At one point, Freddie had even scanned the crowd until he found you, smiling widely and singing right at you. The people nearby completely lost it.

You had gone around to the back of the stage where Freddie had told you to meet him so he could lead you in.

“I simply cannot wait for them to meet you, you’ll be such a hit!” He reassured you as he guided you backstage.

Suddenly, you entered the room where the boys were packing up their instruments.

“I’d like everyone to meet my new friend, Y/N!” Freddie announced loudly to the group. Your face burned as the band members turned to face you.

“Nice to meet you, y/n.” John said, shaking your hand.

“Are those your clothes Fred?” Brian laughed, gesturing to your attire.

“Her clothes now,” Freddie added.

“She pulls them off better than you Fred!” A voice called from the back. You looked up, making eye contact with none other than Roger Taylor.

His quizzical eyes scanned your body before meeting yours once more, shooting you his signature smirk as he flipped his long blonde hair.

You absolutely melted.

all chapters next chapter >

#queen #bohemian rhapsody #queen movie #freddie mercury #brian may #roger taylor #john deacon #rami malek #ben hardy #gwilyn lee #joe mazzello #fanfic #x reader #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy x reader #freddie mercury x reader #rami malek x reader

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bandzrus · 5 years

Text

Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Chapter 5)

BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: The year is 1974, after the release of Queen II. You and your three friends have moved from Canada to England to study abroad. Your life takes a huge turn when you finally decide to take a break from school and visit the local club and you meet the boys of Queen. And most importantly Roger Meadows Taylor.

Note: okay sorry for the long wait on this chapter and that it’s not very long (holidays), it’s sort of a bridge chapter. I have at least three more chapters planned out, but after that I’m not sure where I want this story to go haha. PLEASE feel free to send me ideas!

Words: 2210

***

You wished you could feel sorry about what you did to Mark, because maybe then your friends would give you a break.

“So let me get this straight,” Sharon started, taking a bite of toast. “You’ve wanted to break up with Mark since we moved here, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.”

“I just... I was hoping he would get the hint when I stopped calling him.”

“But you did call him.”

“Yes, to break up with him finally! But he wouldn’t let me talk and next thing I know he’s flying here for my birthday and he thinks we’re finally going to… you know,” you explained exasperatedly, waving your hands at imaginary objects floating over the breakfast table.

“But why would you want to break up with him? You guys were so cute together!” Sharon cooed.

“I know everyone thinks that, but to be completely honest with you Shar, I was bored with Mark. I don’t want to… live my whole life as a house wife back in Vancouver. Why do you think I suggested we come out here for school? The world is so big! There’s so much to see! So many people to meet!”

“Like Roger Taylor?”

You sighed and accepted defeat.

“Yes,” you answered, putting your glass of milk to your lips.

“But did you really have to break up with him like that, Y/N? That was awful!” Sharon twirled a piece of red hair between her fingers.

“Like I’ve said to you guys already, I didn’t mean for it to happen like that! I was going to tell Mark before he went home that I wanted things to be over, but-“

“You couldn’t have waited until AFTER Mark had gone home and you guys were finished? You realize you cheated on him, right?” Sharon was taking her usual nagging to a whole new level with this.

“Stop trying to make me feel bad about this! I’ve said all I need to say to Mark, and it shouldn’t be your guys’ problem who I sleep with!” you snapped, slamming your glass down on the table a little harder than necessary.

“It’s kind of a big deal if that person is ROGER FUCKING TAYLOR!”

You threw your hands in the air and got up from the table.

“I am not talking to you anymore about this,” you vowed, leaving your friend and heading to your room to get dressed.

You were about to leave the apartment to go for coffee when the phone rang. Sharon was in the bathroom and Patricia and Heather were already gone, so you answered it.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

“Speaking.”

“It’s Roger.”

Shit.

“Hi,” you greeted lamely, unsure of what to say.

“We’re not leaving until tomorrow, care to join me and the boys for tea?” the drummer asked, voice crackly but still very appealing over the wire.

“I was just about to head out,” you told him.

“You can’t make even a little time in what I’m sure is a very busy schedule for me, doll?”

You laughed.

“No, I mean I’m about to head out for coffee so tea sounds greats,” you giggled into the receiver.

“Come by the hotel then, we can all go together.”

“Okay Rog,” you agreed.

“And wear somethin’ nice.”

“Oh? What kind of place are we going to for tea?”

“Nowhere special, I just like seeing you dressed up, especially if it’s for me.”

You thought about your outfit from the other night. You had worn that for Roger.

“Cheeky today I see.”

“You know me too well already,” Roger chuckled.

“I’ll see you at the hotel in half an hour then,” you told him before hanging up the phone. Going to your room, you began rummaging through your closet. Though you had already changed out of your satin pajamas, what you were currently wearing wasn’t exactly anything special. You hadn’t planned to be out much today. Flicking through a series of dressed, your eyes stopped on a black little number you had forgotten about. You changed into it and a white blouse, then headed out of the apartment to call a cab to Queen’s hotel.

The door swung open as soon as your first knock hit the wood.

“Y/N!” Roger greeted you, a cheesy smile on his lips. Mary waved from her spot on the couch next to Freddie, and Brian and John each said their hellos.

“Hi Roger,” you said, unable to resist returning his grin.

“My stylist is here!” the drummer announced to everyone, grabbing your hand and pulling you inside.

“Good thing too, you’re still in your pajamas, Roger,” John chuckled, waving a hand at the blond. Everyone laughed and Roger turned to you.

“Care to help me pick something out?” he asked. You nodded. “We’ll have to go back to my room then.” A cheeky grin sprang up from his lips and you felt yourself blush.

“Rog, would you please try to be polite to her?” Freddie begged. But it was too late, the blond was already pulling you back out the door and over to the next room. Closing the door behind you, Roger let go of your hand.

“So I was thinking we should match, which is why I’m still in my ‘jams,” started Roger. Agonizingly slow, he pulled his t-shirt up over his head and tossed it to the floor, leaving him in nothing but a worn pair of boxers and a single sock. Biting your lip, you tried not to let your eyes undress him any further. He caught you staring anyway and chuckled.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who likes what they see,” he remarked. You apologized and went over to his dresser and began rooting through the drawers, averting your eyes.

“Where’s that white vest you wore the other night?” you asked him, redirecting the conversation.

“This one?�� The drummer held up the white fringe vest that had been stuffed under the bed.

“Mhm,” you hummed. “What about the pants?”

“These?” Roger held them up before slipping them on.

“You’re going to need a shirt too,” you said, turning back to the dresser to find something.

“I thought you liked me without one.”

You gave Roger a pointed look before throwing a white button-up shirt at him.

“Roger it’s barely eleven o’ clock in the morning, we’re going for tea, I’m pretty sure they won’t serve you if you don’t have a shirt on,” you argued. Roger just smirked, but put the shirt on anyway. As he shrugged the white vest over his shoulders, you situated yourself right up close between his legs and began fixing his hair.

“Love it when you do that,” the drummer breathed quietly into your ear as you untangled a particularly large knot of baby blond hair.

“You should really learn how to do this yourself,” you remarked, brushing the soft hair away from his face, letting your fingers linger a little extra long on his skin.

“But you’re here.” He put his hands on your waist for a brief moment before you grabbed his hand and headed for the door.

“I’m sure everyone’s waiting for us,” you said. “Let’s go.”

The cab ride with Queen was so much fun it completely wiped the horribly awkward one with Mark out of your memory. You were basically sitting on Roger’s lap the entire drive because there was barely room for all of you inside. Brian’s hair was taking up valuable real-estate and Freddie was having a great laugh trying to use some of Mary’s hair pins to keep it away from him. Mary too was sitting precariously on Freddie’s lap as the cab twisted and turned down the streets of England. You were thankful Roger had his arm wrapped around your waist because you almost went flying through the front window when the cab driver slammed on the breaks at a light.

Of course your struggle was keeping the drummer’s other hand on a reasonably low part of your leg.

“Roger, we’re literally sardined in this cab, can you please not-“ you hissed in his ear, but he cut you off.

“-do this?” his fingers pushed their way up your dress, causing you to slap his hand. The smirk never left his face.

“Yes!”

“Why, are you ticklish?” he teased, dribbling his fingers on your thigh.

“Roger please, not here,” you whined, holding his hand still. The drummer opened his mouth to make what you knew was going to be a lude comment, but the cab came to a stop first. Everyone squeezed out the door and John dug in his pockets for cash for the driver.

“Here, mate,” the bassist said, passing the handful of money through the window. With a friendly toot of the horn, the cab left the six of you on the curb outside a quaint café. Hand in hand with Roger, you two were the last inside. Freddie insisted on sitting next to the windows, so you all squeezed into the booth that ran underneath it. Tucked away under the window with the sun beaming down onto your lap and Roger’s arm draped over your shoulder, you couldn’t think of another time in which you had felt so at home with people you had just met. You realized you were starting to think of Queen (and Mary of course) as some of your close friends. It had only been a handful of days, but watching them perform and spending the evenings with them had made you see that you had been missing out on a lot since moving from Canada.

“Whatcha ordering?” Roger asked you. You let out a contented hum.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you answered, smiling back at him. You found it so easy to get enamored by his blue eyes. Brushing a lock of baby blond hair from his forehead with light fingers, Brian’s cough interrupted your moment with Roger. You blushed as you realized everyone was looking at the two of you.

“Not Roger’s latest and greatest, huh?” Mary giggled.

“I-“ you started, but didn’t know what to say. You didn’t want to be one of Roger’s countless groupies, but it was so hard to ignore him. You didn’t want to ignore him either.

“Is that what we’re calling my girlfriends these days?” Roger asked the band, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’d hardly call them girlfriends, Rog,” muttered John, pretending to be busy with one of the menus.

“Oi!” the drummer protested, kicking John under the table.

“Do you even remember the names of the girls you brought over last week?”

Roger made a face.

“’Course I do,” he replied, sniffing. The look on the bassist’s face said he didn’t believe him. Your heart plummeted into your stomach when you realized what that meant. You were probably just another girl to Roger, some random girl he met outside a club who let him take her virginity and brought her friends over to their hotel room for a fun evening of boozing and shenanigans. Mary noticed your fallen face.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“ she started to apologize.

“No, it’s okay, I should have… I should have remembered what kind of guys – excuse me,” you mumbled, getting up from the booth and heading for the bathroom. You had almost made it when you felt a hand grab your wrist.

“Y/N.”

It was Roger. Turning to face him, you wiped a tear from your cheek, hoping you weren’t ruining your makeup too badly.

“I’m sorry,” he started.

“You don’t have to be sorry, you’re just being yourself, I should have known better.” You felt like an idiot. Roger could have any girl he wanted, you had seen girls throwing themselves at him first hand. You were sure you were just one of them, someone to fool around with while they were in town and soon as they left you’d be forgotten.

“Okay, yes, I… see a lot of girls. But not since we met,” tried Roger again.

“It’s been a few days, Roger.”

“I know it’s hardly been a week, but I do like hanging out with you,” the blond promised, holding both your hands in his.

“I like hanging out with you and Freddie and Brian and John too, but-“

“But what?”

“You guys are leaving, you’re not going to remember me, I don’t know why I ever-“

“Trust me, I am NOT going to forget the girl who broke up with her boyfriend on her birthday by shagging me behind some sleazy venue,” Roger assured you. “And it would be pretty hard to forget you if you’re along with us on tour.”

You wiped your nose.

“What?”

“Do you want to come on tour with us?”

“Are you serious?” you asked. The blond nodded his head.

“Dead.”

“Like tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow.”

You sniffled, smiled, and nodded your head.

“Buuuut you can only come if you let me call you my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend,” you tested it out, nodding again.

“That’s a yes?” he actually looked genuinely concerned that you wouldn’t say yes.

“Roger Taylor’s girlfriend, I think I can get used to that,” you said, giving him a big grin. Tugging on his vest, you stood on your tip toes to kiss him. “Want to help me pack?”

***

Tag List: @fastnfearless

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ficsforlarry · 7 years

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Fav Fics of All Time: top 20

Each and every fic on this list is absolutely fabulous and I love them all dearly and equally. I’m always so so impressed with how talented the writers in this fandom are and how much time and effort they pour into these works. This is by no means a comprehensive list, nor is it the only available list of top 20 fics in this fandom. This are just my particular faves.

(It’s not really in order at all I love them all equally)

1. The Finish Line (Is a good place for us to start) by LoadedGunn,

Louis Tomlinson, one-time Formula 1 World Champion, is looking forward to the 2013 season. He’s got Zayn in his garage and Liam in his ear, he’s got Cowell Racing backing him despite former indiscretions, he’s got experience and the best race car out there. Not to mention he’s the only racer they have, after Oliver dropped out late last year.

It hasn’t occurred to him that Oliver would have to be replaced by February. That is, until he finds himself at a party celebrating Harry Styles leaving Ferrari for Cowell. Harry hotshot Styles, who broke a record last year and is probably looking to make a big splash. Harry Styles, who is talented and somewhat intimidating. Harry Styles, who left Ferrari for reasons unknown and seems kind of lonely and harmless in person. Lonely, harmless, hot as fuck. Whatever.

The first thing Louis does is take him under his wing. From there it’s nine months of slow-burning romance, the past catching up to them, turning into the human puppy pile that is OT5 and a lot of feelings until, of course, reaching the finish line.

2. Perfect Storm by CherryStreet, 80k

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

3. Escapade by dolce_piccante, 146k

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He's rich. He's handsome. He's reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

4. Here In The Afterglow by FondLeeds, 88k

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

5. Love Is a Rebellious Bird by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews, 134k

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

6. Young & Beautiful by VelvetOscar, 227k

Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn't stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

7. Outwit, Outplay, Outlast by dancesongsoul, lookatyourchoices, 60k

“Tommo and Harry are gonna do it. I don’t know when, but they’re gonna do it. They’ve got the mattress, the pillows, everything’s in place, and they’re gonna do it. I really wish those two the best of luck.” –Taylor Swift, "Chapera"

Or a Survivor All-Stars AU in which Harry and Louis are just in this game to win the million dollars, but they end up with something better.

Featuring Harry's yellow swim shorts, Louis in snapbacks, and OT5 shenanigans.

8. Unbelievers by IsThatYouLarry, 136k

It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

9. California Sold by IsThatYouLarry, 123k

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

10. Shake me Down by AGreatPerhaps12, 208k

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

11. Atlas at Last by louisandthealien, 83k

He doesn’t know what he had been expecting out of the road trip itself besides burping contests and too much shitty gas station food with Oli and Stan, but in the brief moment before Harry ambles up his driveway, Louis idly wonders if this is about to become some sort of Gay Coming of Age story.

Maine to California in ten days. In which Zayn’s an open-shirt hippie they meet somewhere in Ohio, Liam’s the pastor’s son running away from home, and Niall’s the number they call on the bathroom wall.

It’s 1978. Harry and Louis are just trying to get to San Fran in time for the Queen concert.

12. Like an Endless Summer by objectlesson, 87k

“You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

13. And Then A Bit by InfinitelyMint, 158k

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

14. Pull Me Under by Zarah5, 140k

AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career, it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis' favourite teammate, Liam as Louis' agent, and Zayn as Liam's boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

15. Into The Blue by Zarah5, 117k

AU. In which Louis is Harry's scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can't be all that difficult to convince Harry that they're on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

16. Never Be by CherryStreet, 117k

Monica: You've got to see her again. Ross: And why do you care so much? Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy! Ross: You had fantasies about Emily? Monica: No! Y’know, the fantasy! Meet someone from a strange land, fall madly in love, and spend the rest of your lives together.

The one where Harry Styles moves to Connecticut from England for nine months as a part of a study abroad program, and he just so happens to move in with Louis Tomlinson and family.

17. Do Not Go Gentle by Afirethatcannotdie, 70k

“This is all a game to you, isn’t it? Well, it’s not for me. This is a real life or death situation,” Louis says, spitting the words at him. “And I just don’t think you’re cut out for it.”

For a moment, they stare at each other in complete silence. Harry can feel his blood thrumming between his ears, can see Louis glaring at him, feels red-hot anger. And then all he feels, oppressively and desperately, is lust.

Suddenly Louis is surging up to him to press his lips against Harry’s. Harry walks the two of them backwards, pressing Louis back against the door. Louis oomphs in surprise and brings his hands under Harry’s scrub top, scratching at his lower back.

“Lock — oh — lock the… fucking door,” Louis mutters.

When Harry Styles starts his first day as a surgical intern, he expects a lot of things: to treat patients, to observe a surgery, to feel a bit overwhelmed. What he definitely doesn't expect, however, is that the handsome guy he kicked out of his bed this morning is also an intern.

A Grey’s Anatomy AU where tensions are high, Harry and Louis are hooking up in secret, and no one has time for love. Or do they?

18. Got The Sunshine on My Shoulders by HattaLove, 124k

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn't have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he's rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he's forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who's spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)

19. Roots by CherryStreet, 40k

There aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. He’s spent the past couple of years on and off various stages, filled with screaming fans, all chanting his name, loud and adoring. He’s done countless interviews, some even on live, national television, never faltering over his words, answers meticulously planned out, smooth and steady. He’s signed countless autographs, taken just as many photos, and even when he sat in his label’s studio, waiting to see how high up on the charts his single made it, he didn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable. It’s all been unbelievably fun. No, there aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous.

Enter Louis Tomlinson.

20. Wear It Like A Crown by Zarah5, 141k

AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis' teenage fantasies.

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thestarsofthenight · 7 years

Text

August 15: Lemon Meringue Pie Day

As I’ve written some “Fun with Holidays” extras for Watchdog of the Queen (August 8/16), I wanted to write something for The Stars of the Night too! I am late as always though.

(If you are interested, check the link for the August 16 extra and participate with a terrible joke of your own!)

TSotN is a Ciel-Elizabeth (and, well, McMillan)-centric FF, but this extra is all about Angelina and Ciel (and cake and baking) because, well, in my timeline, it’s pretty hard to fit in August holidays.

I’ve actually started the “future segment.” But after a while of thinking over it, I’ve decided not to finish and post it for the time being.

The next thing I’ll post for TSotN is (hopefully) the next actual chapter. ^^’

The lemon meringue pie recipe I’ve used as reference can be found here.

“Cake for later, cake as a way of life.”

― Laini Taylor, Dreams of Gods & Monsters

London, England, United Kingdom – August 2015

She blinked it away, shoved her thoughts away – but when she was dreaming, when she was careless for even a second, she could feel the pain through her body, could remember the feeling of her heart being torn apart when her sister announced her engagement.

Her engagement to the man she loved.

So many years had passed, and Angelina Dalles’ still felt the pain in her bones, in her heart.

So much had come and gone – her sister, her brother-in-law, her husband, her unborn child… they had all gone away only a month apart.

Her nephew Ciel had gone too, but he had returned – had returned different, changed; had returned as a reminder of what she could never have, of what she had given up for others to be happy.

But no matter what, he was still the only family Angelina had left.

However, after returning after a month of darkness, Ciel had distanced himself from his family. Angelina visited him as often as she could, always watching over him as she was his legal guardian now. She protected him from the press eager to tear the story of the fire out of his traumatised, scarred hands. She distracted him from his Watchdog duties by taking him to amusement parks and supported him during his missions.

Angelina was always by his side – and still, Ciel didn’t allow her to get closer to him. She had seen him grow up – but watching someone growing up was easier than raising them by yourself. Especially, if said person was a Phantomhive.

Today, Ciel was at school even though it was Saturday and in the middle of the summer holidays.

“Crime is never on holidays,” Ciel had told her when she had asked him on the first day of the summer break why he was going to school – or, more accurately, to his detective agency’s HQ which could be found inside his school.

Last year, Angelina had proudly enrolled her nephew into Weston College, a prestigious British school every Phantomhive before Ciel had attended – and the place where Angelina had first met Ciel’s father, Vincent.

Ciel had been home-schooled for his last year in primary school, and when it had come to light that he would continue his education at Weston, the media had gone crazy. Angelina had feared that Ciel would never be able to make some genuine friends in this chaos. Not that her stubborn nephew had even tried to make friends. But then, the pet rabbit of one of Ciel’s classmates had been abducted and he had helped to find him – and this incident had helped Ciel to find a friend: A boy named McMillan who had sat next to him for quite a while had gathered his courage shortly afterwards to talk to Ciel, curious to find out more about Ciel’s deduction skills. And the months had passed and they had become friends and opened a detective agency at Weston – “McMillan & Phantomhive Detective Agency – Chocolate for Investigating.”

It had been hard for Ciel to adjust to his new life after the fire although he did his best to cover it up. That’s why Angelina had been extremely joyous when Ciel had told her about McMillan and the agency, was grateful to McMillan for wanting to be Ciel’s friend – but her joy had only lasted for a short while until sadness caught up to her and Angelina started to wonder how happy her sister, Rachel, would have been if she had found out that her little boy was doing so well despite everything.

Rachel had married the man Angelina loved but, deep down, buried in sadness and pain, Angelina had never stopped loving her sister.

And no day passed without missing her.

Angelina shook her head and added an egg to the mixture of butter, flour, and icing sugar. In a little bit more than two hours, Ciel and McMillan would come back, and until then, she wanted to finish the cake.

Two weeks ago, the Phantomhive townhouse had been partially damaged in a Watchdog affair, causing Ciel and his servants to move in with Angelina. At first, she had thoroughly enjoyed her house suddenly being so full of life and having her nephew so close by her side but with time, she became wearier and wearier. Ciel’s servants which he had collected and employed in the year after his sudden return were terribly clumsy and not very suitable for the jobs to which they had been assigned. His butler, Sebastian Michaelis, was a nuisance to Angelina’s own servants as he managed to single-handedly make them all jobless. Lastly, Ciel had taken custody over Angelina’s study, and he didn’t do anything else than meeting McMillan at the agency in the forenoon and working on Watchdog cases in the afternoon except when McMillan came over like today.

More than once, Angelina had wanted to kick them out but, every day, she came back home after a long work day and was met with new warmth and laughter, albeit there were screams too, and knew that she would miss this chaos as soon as they were gone and hoped that they would stay as long as the repairs took.

Angelina whizzed the mixture to which she had added a tablespoon of water too before rolling it into a ball.

As children, Angelina and Rachel had started to bake together. At first, they had almost set the kitchen on fire but with time, they had become more and more skilled and adept at creating wonderful confections. After the car incident which had taken away the lives of Angelina’s husband and unborn child, she hadn’t baked anything anymore – then, one day, Rachel had proposed to her to bake something together again on Ciel’s birthday. But it had never come about as the fire had torn everything apart – from the manor’s walls to lives and families and dreams. Dreams and wishes.

While rolling out the dough on the work surface, Angelina’s hands slightly shook. She hadn’t done this in so long that long vanished insecurity had returned to her fingers. She still wasn’t sure if she should be doing this, if she was already ready to bake something again, to pick up an activity again which she used to do with her late sister. But when Ciel had mentioned in a whisper yesterday that tomorrow was “Lemon Meringue Pie Day” Angelina had been determined to make him such a pie. Right before going to bed yesterday, Angelina had told Sebastian that she would be the one baking the pie – not he as the magnificent butler had also caught Ciel’s broad hint. After a short argument, Sebastian had nodded and retreated. And for half the night, Angelina had laid awake in her bed, her body filled with the excitement of standing in the kitchen again.

Angelina put the rolled-out dough into a flan tin, tucked in the corners, covered it in cling film, and put it into the refrigerator.

Just like his mother, Ciel was very versed when it came to cake and pie related little holidays. Lemon Meringue Pie Day used to be one of the days when the Dalles sisters came together and bake. Angelina couldn’t believe it that she had almost forgotten this special day, and she blinked away tears while mixing the lemon juice and zest with flour for the pie’s filling.

Two years. She had baked her last lemon meringue pie two years ago – it wasn’t so far back in the past, but felt like an eternity had passed since then.

Angelina was using the same recipe she had used back then.

With her sister.

With her…

“Annie, why are you continuing to stir the paste? It is already smooth enough.”

Angelina abruptly let go of her whisk and turned around – seeing Rachel chuckling at her before she blinked and the image was gone.

An echo of memory. It was nothing more but an old memory’s echo.

After all, that’s what Rachel told me two years ago when we stood together in this kitchen.

Together…

Angelina took a few deep breaths before finishing the lemon filling and taking the flan tin out of the refrigerator.

***

Angelina heard the opening of the front door the moment her egg timer rang. She had stared at the pie in the fifteen minutes it had to take its final round of baking so that she was sure not to accidentally burn it. Now, a sigh left her mouth as she took the cake out of the oven and it looked like one of those fancily prepared lemon meringue pies seen in cook books.

Hopefully, it tastes as well as it looks.

Angelina put the cake on the working place to cool down and hurried to the entrance hall.

“Welcome, Ciel, McMillan!” she exclaimed with a smile on her face before she went to hug Ciel. “How was the agency work?” Angelina asked while Ciel gasped for breath. “Air, Aunt Anne! Air!”

She let go of him, and he adjusted his clothes, scowling at her.

“Good afternoon, Doctor Dalles,” McMillan greeted her, showing his adorable tooth gap while smiling. He was cute but in a different way than Ciel. McMillan had messy brown hair, freckles, and big, shining eyes behind round glasses, and Ciel had big blue eyes and the endearing, soft face of his mother.

The face of his mother…, Angelina thought, and she slightly shook her head to push away the coldness filling her body at this thought.

I am seeing ghosts at every corner.

“Lost keys found in pockets,” Ciel suddenly said. “Arguments over stolen and eaten gummy bears. An exam counterfeiting ring. Nothing out of the usual, Aunt Anne.”

“Oh, I see,” she replied before turning to Sebastian and clearing her throat. “Could you lead them to the parlour?”

“Of course, Baroness,” Sebastian said, briefly bowing. “And should I prepare some tea to go with your pie?”

“That would be lovely,” said Angelina, and they both exchanged polite nods before they headed to different directions.

She liked Sebastian, was thankful for everything he did for Ciel. But just like she never dared to ask Ciel what happened on the day of the fire, where he was in that dreaded month, she never got herself to raise the question where Ciel had found a butler resembling Vincent so much – a circumstance which often left Angelina with goose bumps.

Of course, Angelina had never asked Ciel about anything from that time – years had passed, time had gone on but the wounds the incidents had left on them were still fresh and bleeding.

Ciel was still traumatised, was still confused, still bringing order into this mess. Asking him could make it worse. Asking him could trigger something in him. Asking him could upset him, could make him feel constrained.

That’s what Angelina had been telling herself for one year and a half now.

That not asking was for the best.

That it was better to wait for Ciel to be ready to tell the story when he felt the time was right.

But, perhaps – perhaps, Angelina was just afraid to face the truth.

***

Carefully, Angelina carried her pie to the drawing room. Sebastian had come and prepared the tea and returned to the drawing room – he was so fast, and she so incredibly slow and the cake hadn’t cooled as quickly as she had wanted it to be.

Sebastian opened the door for her, and she looked into the drawing room – and for a split second, it was August 2013 again, and she entered Phantomhive Manor’s beautiful, illuminated parlour with her sister and was greeted by the smiles of her loved ones. But when she stepped over the doorsill, the memory faded away and revealed the sparsely lit parlour with only Ciel and McMillan inside.

So much had come and gone because, with time, old things were replaced with new ones but that didn’t mean what was old was gone forever. Now, Angelina loved Ciel, her last relative, and all his servants, no matter how odd they were, no matter how annoying, and McMillan for making Ciel belong to more than to the Phantomhives, to the Watchdogs.

But that didn’t mean that she had forgotten, had stopped to love those she had lost in the flames. Those she had lost in all those terrible accidents, incidents.

With a faint smile on her face, Angelina approached the large table in the drawing room and put the cake on it. “Guess what, Ciel! I have a lemon meringue pie on Lemon Meringue Pie Day!”

Ciel stared at the cake – and those who remotely knew him would think when seeing him now, that he was only staring at it because he loved cake so much, but Angelina knew better.

He is thinking of two years ago. He is thinking of happier times when we were not so alone.

Angelina’s smile widened. “See? You always complain that I don’t listen to you but I’ve listened when you whispered that today was Pie Day.”

“You baked this, Doctor Dalles?” McMillan said, his eyes wide behind his glasses.

He didn’t ask “Did you bake this?” even though I could have ordered Sebastian or my own cook to bake it. He…

Angelina pushed the thought away and nodded, still smiling. “Of course, I did.”

“May I?” Sebastian said, suddenly appearing behind them, bringing plates and forks, a knife and a cake lifter with him. The teapot and cups he had carried into the parlour earlier had already been placed on the table.

Angelina sat down, and she, McMillan, and Ciel watched Sebastian skilfully distributing the plates and forks before elegantly cutting the lemon pie into even slices and lifting three on each of their plates.

“To go with Madame Red’s lemon meringue pie, together with my mentor, I have chosen Hōjicha, a Japanese green tea type,” Sebastian announced, pouring them all a cup of tea.

Angelina picked up her fork but didn’t let it sink into her slice. Instead, she looked up and watched Ciel putting a piece of cake into his mouth.

His face which had been slightly tense before relaxed. “It is… it is good,” Ciel said in a low voice before continuing to eat, and McMillan nodded at his friend’s statement. Angelina smiled weakly before she tasted the pie herself – and it was good. The filling was soft and creamy, the dough was crispy, and the sweet meringue perfectly balanced out the sourness of the lemon juice.

They ate in silence. McMillan was usually very talkative – and Angelina was glad that he had realised that today held a special place in Ciel’s and her heart, and ate and didn’t talk, letting them be, letting them dwell in memories with every bite. Letting them mourn while remembering all lost and all gained.

Ciel was the first to finish his slice. He put his fork down and said without thinking, “The cake was wonderful. Thanks, Mum.” McMillan looked up, his eyes widened in confusion and surprise. Only a second later, Ciel himself realised what he had said. He gazed at Angelina – and she stared at him.

Then, she burst out into laughter.

She saw Sebastian softly chuckling in his corner and McMillan suppressing a silly grin and giggle – and, most importantly, Angelina saw Ciel’s cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

From one moment to the other, the atmosphere in the parlour had completely changed – from silent and sad to loud and joyful.

And now, McMillan didn’t stifle his laughter anymore and joined Angelina. Even Ciel chuckled a bit.

It was such a wonderful, refreshing moment tearing through Angelina’s inner pain and sadness – it felt like the sunlight, the warmth from outside fighting its way through the curtains and lighting up the room in gold and comfort.

It made her forget her thoughts from before; it filled her with bliss; it kissed her with warmth and gave her hope for all the days and years to come.

Angelina stopped laughing and watched McMillan teasing Ciel over his blooper, heard Sebastian making a snarky remark about it to his master. Both of them received scowls in return – and Angelina noticed in this very moment that while Ciel was still hesitant and careful, was still keeping himself on distance, he had found a place where he could belong even if he didn’t know about it himself. A place among his household as the head, a place among his schoolmates as the agency’s detective and McMillan’s friend.

And Angelina – Angelina had tried and tried, had smiled and laughed: But where was her place to belong? She had forced herself for so long, she had forgotten to find a place just the way she was.

But why could I feel the warmth on my skin but not inside of me?

#the stars of the night #Angelina Dalles #madame red #kuroshitsuji #black butler #fanfiction #ff #ciel phantomhive #our!ciel #sebastian michaelis #mcmillan #rachel phantomhive #extras

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momentumgo · 5 years

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Angie Taylor

Motion Designer, Animator, Author, Educator www.behance.com/AngieTaylor Brighton, UK Age 54 She/Her

How did you get your start in motion design, animation, or whatever it is that you do?

I graduated with a degree in Sculpture, drawing and humanities from EDINBURGH College of art in 1996. When I left, I thought, “what the **** can I do with a sculpture degree? I’d have loved to just be an artist, but I needed to make money. I had nothing. My choices, in terms of making money quickly were; make gravestones. Or become a prop-maker, I chose the latter.

I moved to London and began my prop-making career in the TV and film industry in 1987. I started freelancing and then got a full-time job making food props for TV and film - anything from non-melting ice cream and chocolate to pigs on spits, lobsters and pizzas. We made props for all sorts of amazing productions including Aardman Animations and the BBC. It was fun figuring out how to make stuff look real but I soon got bored recreating reality. I preferred the idea of surreal.

In my spare time I was deejaying in London’s punk clubs and gay clubs. I met lots of creative people in these nightclubs including; Heaven, FF, Turnmills, The Fridge, The Bell. When I was deejaying I attended a music and technology course to learn about Sampling and sequencing. We used Cubase version 1.0 on Amiga computers. There was also a copy of Deluxe Paint on there and I started playing with it during breaks. I’d make little cycling color animations.

I wanted to do more but I couldn’t afford to buy a computer at the time. My Dad had a Sinclair Spectrum and had the Hobbit game on it. I borrowed that when I could. I loved the idea of sequencing images and storytelling, it really excited me.

One day, when I was dropping off props at the BBC, I saw somebody using a very early beta version of Photoshop1. I thought “I want to do that!”. I realised I needed to make big changes for this to happen. I gave up prop-making and became a full-time Deejay in order to save to buy a computer.

In 1993 I met my wife, Jo. When we got together we spoke about our life goals. We both agreed that we needed a change. So we left London and moved to EDINBURGH. Jo loves books took a job as manager of a big, family-run book shop. I couldn’t find any courses on computer graphics so I enrolled in a course in traditional graphic design and another in IT - just to get access to computers.

The Graphic design course was very traditional - there were no computers. We had to use Letteraset to lay out text. We would enlarge text in a Grant Projector. It was a great course, I loved it. The IT course was also good, I learned the beauty of spreadsheets (no, I’m not joking!)

I also wrote my first tutorial on that course - teaching other students how to copy and paste images into their documents and make screenshots. There was a copy of Corel Draw on the computers. I learned it inside out. But I wanted something more. When I finished the course I was a bit unsure about which direction to turn.

Then one day I went to a party at a neighbours house. He had an Apple Macintosh Classic. I knew these were the dream of every graphic designer so I asked him whether I should get a PC (which I’d learned on) or a Mac.

“Ooh! Get a Mac!” He replied. “I work for a company called Adobe. If you get a Mac, I’ll get you a copy of Photoshop to help you get started”. I wasn’t really aware of who Adobe were but I’d seen Photoshop and was so grateful to him for this offer. I really don’t know where my career would be today without that lucky break. (Thanks Rory!)

So I saved, and saved, the bought myself my first computer. It was an Apple Power Macintosh 8500. He brought me a lovely, new, cellophane-wrapped copy of Photoshop 3. I watched a free video tutorial that was on the installation CD by the amazing Russell Brown. I thought, “this is what I want to do!”

As a thank you to my friend, I made him a card. I took a picture of his new-born baby. I scanned it, added a Mohawk hairstyle, tattoos saying “Mum” and “Dad” on her knuckles, and a leather jacket. All done in Photoshop. He was blown away with what I’d done. He asked me to come and show people at Adobe how I’d done it. As a result of this, Adobe asked me to do some Photoshop demos at a trade show in Amsterdam called CGIX. That’s when I first saw After Effects. It was version 2.0, it was love at first sight! I’ve been in love ever since!

My friend, Rory, got me a copy of After Effects and I was obsessed! I got myself the Total AE by Total Training course and watched it back to back, at least twice. Brian Maffitt is still the best After Effects teacher IMHO. I practiced for about 6 months, 12 hours a day while my lovely partner earned a daily income. I also started doing more demo work for Adobe. Doing After Effects demos as well as Photoshop, Illustrator and Premiere. But that wasn’t earning me enough and I really wanted to get into motion graphics.

I sent letters to about 40 production companies telling them I had a home setup to create motion graphics with After Effects and could be employed on a freelance basis. This was 1996, in those days most people laughed if you suggested using AE for TV graphics or animation. Luckily one person gave me an opportunity. He was interested in new technology and ran a business called Atacama Films (www.atacamafilms.co.uk) making films for museums. So I got my first AE job doing graphics on a film for the Cook Museum in Middlesbrough. From there things slowly grew by osmosis.

I worked for about 20 years, freelancing for other companies and directors. In between jobs I was still doing demo work at trade shows and events for Adobe, Wacom and Apple. I was lucky enough to work with great some great directors, including Chris Cunningham and John Williams. I also worked on projects with great artists and musicians such as; The Slits, Beck, Joan Armatrading. I produced motion graphics for the BBC, Channel 4 and other TV and film companies.

However being a designer didn’t come naturally to me. I was trained as a fine artist so loved to experiment and hated having to constrain my ideas to please clients - I found this to be very restrictive. The stuff I liked was not really inline with the latest design trends which I found to be boring and formulaic. I have never enjoyed creating stuff that looks like everyone else’s. It’s like fashion, I’ve never understood why everyone would want to look the same as each other! This is possibly due to my ADHD and Autism Spectrum Condition. I was diagnosed with these at the age of 54.

During my career I wrote a few books on After Effects and motion graphic design and I began making video tutorials. I enjoyed this creative process more than the work itself. I love helping other people come up with ideas and helping them to solve problems. This was always the stage of design projects I was best at. I find it very hard to focus on the fine-tuning aspects of the job! I need challenges to keep me motivated.

Another thing that motivated me was my negative experiences at art school. I found that it really knocked my confidence and had a detrimental effect on my creativity. Before art school I drew constantly. But art school instilled in me a worry that I was not good enough. That feeling has never left me. Because of this I possibly avoid doing my own work. Teaching others is a great way of doing this!

So I gave up freelancing in 2013 to pursue a career in education. I now run my own business. A private art school called Creative Cabin on the south coast of England, near Brighton. I offer people bespoke, one-to-one tuition as an alternative to traditional art school education. People come to the Cabin and I help them with their creative projects. I hope to inspire them in the career they desire. It’s very rewarding. I also provide “Creative Escapes” - retreat vacations for creative people where they can learn drawing skills, make sculpture, forage and cook wild foods and relax in our beautiful, cliff-top woodlands. I also offer a mentorship service to clients.

Writing books was a struggle for me due to my dyslexia, whips is often comorbid with ADHD. So I started creating video tutorials with a company called Video2brain. They were bought by Lynda.com, who were, in turn, bought by LinkedIn. So my tutorials can now be seen on LinkedIn Learning.

I’ve also struggled throughout my life with anxiety and depression. These conditions are very common in those with undiagnosed ADHD and Autism Spectrum Condition. As a result have probably never achieved as much as I had hoped to. I also had to stop travelling for work due to physical issues associated with these conditions.

How do you balance your work with your personal life? How do the two influence each other?

I’ve always put home and family first so have turned down a few opportunities that could have taken me away from home. But all in all, I’m happy now to teach other people how to do the work that I love. To be honest, I find it more rewarding than actually doing the work myself. I was never satisfied with what I created anyway!

How have you learned to practice self-care? What do you do to take care of yourself?

My ADHD and Autism have pros and cons. I think my total obsession with After Effects, Illustrator and Cinema 4D are the pros. The cons are that I find it difficult to communicate with other people in a conventional way. I find it easier to get up on stage and do a demo for 500 people than I do having a two way conversation with a client. Funnily enough I’m fine when it comes to training on a 1-2-1 basis - that’s when I’m at my most happy. I have difficulty networking with people. I used to cope with alcohol and drugs. But now that I’m sober, I have to limit the stress in my life. So working from my home based studio, Creative Cabin, with my dog, Elsie, by my side, is where I’m happiest.

As I said,I’ve had a few lucky breaks along the way. Who knows what would have happened without them. My books on After Effects helped me get to the stage where I could get a mortgage and eventually buy our house with the Cabin next door, which I converted into a training studio.

I couldn’t have learned as much as I did without the friendship and help I received from the amazing After Effects community back in the 1990’s. I was part of the IMUG and subscribed to the wonderful Media Motion email user group. It’s was so open and everyone shared everything. There I met lifelong “industry friends’ like Trish and Chris Meyer, Brian Maffitt, Paul Tuersley, Steve Forde, Mark Coleran, Mark Harrison, Philip Hodgetts, Peder Norby, Pete Litwinowicz, Amacker Bullwinkle, Tim Clapham, Simon Harper and others too numerous to mention. We’d meet up at trade shows and seminars where we’d talk about nothing other than technology and animation - That’s the only thing I miss about my old life - the people.

But over the years I’ve learned how important it is to take care of yourself and those closest to you. I always found the traveling hard and stressful. To cope I would drink alcohol. I’d get home from a trip feeling exhausted, emotional and unhealthy. I put on weight and ended up with back and knee issues. Partly from too much sitting at a desk. I have a sit/stand desk so vary my working position as much as possible. I use a Salli swing, saddle chair which has really helped my back.

In terms of keeping well. I see a personal trainer and a psychotherapist once a week. I cycle everywhere and I swim as much as possible. My best friend is my dog, Elsie. A rescued Staffie-Patterdale (Stafferdale) cross who I walk every day. For my mental health I do mindfulness mediation and listen to inspiring podcasts from the Audio Dharma website.

How do you define success? What would success look like for you?

Success in life is being content and being around those you love. If you can leave something behind that inspires or changes the lives of others, that’s great. But if not, that’s fine too. Just being human is difficult enough. Be easy on yourself and enjoy the life you have.

What advice do you have for those just starting out?

To those who are starting out today I’d say, pick one thing and focus on it. Don’t be persuaded into becoming a multi-tasker like I did, it will only dilute your talents and prevent you from focussing. If you want to learn something don’t use Google or YouTube tutorials. Do a properly structured course that will teach you the fundamentals and principles as well as the cool techniques. And look after your body and mind. You don’t have to crumble before you learn that your health is the most important asset you possess.

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profound-boning · 7 years

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Huge GTKM Game

I’ve been tagged in several of these over the past several months I know I’m a mess I’m sorry and I’m finally going to answer some of them!

Tagged by @thecuriouscrusader @blissfulcastiel @glowingdean @casbakespie @adoringjensen

no I’m not tagging anyone else in this monstrosity lol

Relationship status: Taken, just celebrated five years!

Lipstick or Chapstick: I wore lipstick every day when I was in college but now that I’m living with Boyfriend it’d be a big ol waste of time and money and also messy

Last Song I Listened To: uhhh the Star Wars: The Force Awakens soundtrack because I watched that yesterday?

Last Movie I Watched: lol see above

Favorite Color: Pink

Top 3 Favorite Shows: Supernatural, SKAM, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine (I really need to get caught up on those last two damn)

If I had a cat what would I name it: Ooooh see that totally depends I’d have to meet them in person first

Height: 5 foot 3 and one half

Hogwarts House: SLYTHERIN HISS HISS MOTHERFUCKERS

Time right now: 17:09

Average hours of sleep: lmao like under 7 right now because I keep staying up late and then waking up early by force of habit??

Favorite number: 47

Last thing I Googled: ”where do psychiatrists work” for a fic

Fictional character you want as your younger sibling: I want this answer to be Charlie Bradbury except I’d want her to be my OLDER sibling... so let’s go with Rey (sw: tfa) or Isak Valtersen (SKAM)

Blankets I sleep with: Sheet and comforter

Favorite band/artists: Oh man lmao uh Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Adele, Ed Sheeran, twenty one pilots, the Arctic Monkeys, others?

Dream trip: GREECE I want to cruise around the islands and see all the history and art

What am I wearing right now: A Corgi crop top and my new THINX undies (all y’all menstruating folk I literally cannot recommend these highly enough)

When I made this blog: THIS blog was like September/October of 2015 I think? I’m too lazy to pull up my archive at the moment. But I’ve been on and off of tumblr since 2011.

How many blogs I follow: 330ish I believe? Again too lazy to open a new tab. It’s a mix of spn blogs and multifandom ones as well as a handful of lovely mutuals :)

What do I post about: On this blog, only supernatural, mostly destiel and brothers and my tears

Pick a word that starts with the first letter of your real name and ends with the first letter of your url: sap

Do I get asks on a daily basis: lmfao no

Why did I choose my tumblr url: I looove my url more than anything and tbh it happened because I came across a text post right when I got into spn (2015) about how dean and cas need to start profoundly boning and here we are :’)

My aesthetic: hot tea brewing in the kitchen, you can see the flowers on the balcony from where you’re standing at the counter, slouchy sweater brushing bare thighs, curls falling loose from your top knot. toes in the sand at the edge of the water, wide brimmed hat casting a shadow on your nose, smiling so big your eyes crinkle in the corners, licking ice cream from your fingertips. lipstick tacky on your bottom lip, eyelashes painted dark, skirt clinging to your ass, swaying your hips to the rhythm, the room is dark and smoky, never touching anyone but relishing that their eyes are on you.

Last show you watched: We don’t have cable so I don’t get to watch shows live on tv. Last time I watched any tv show I believe was Kitchen Nightmares on Hulu!

Last book you read: tbfh it’s been a long time, I’ve been reading mostly fanfiction for a while now. I just finished reading a two part series called “all the stars above and below” a finnpoe au by AndreaLyn on ao3 here

Last thing you ate: Applesauce

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?: This is strange question because I’m in my very nice bed and I don’t really want to be anywhere else at the moment but like in general Boyfriend and I are planning on moving to England so I’d like to be there? Kind of? Or like... sitting on a beach somewhere? Sitting next to my sister? I’m not really longing to be somewhere else so much as wanting some things to be a little different? But on the whole I’m extremely satisfied with where I’m at right now.

When would you time travel to?: lol fuck any time period before this one (modern medicine and some more rights are v nice) so I’ll say 3017 but that’s assuming tr*mp doesn’t get our entire goddamned planet fucking destroyed and also that people aren’t asshats to each other based on social constructions and institutions like gender and religion and identity and also ethnic backgrounds :’)

First thing you would do with lottery money: Pay for car repairs and for some of my sister’s university

Character you would hang out with for a day: Castiel or Poe Dameron

Pets: None because we move too much!

First Fandom I joined: Oh boy this is a good question. I was just talking to Boyfriend the other day about how Han/Leia was my first OTP before I really knew what that meant? Like watching the movies as a kid I felt in my heart like “yes they’re so good together please be happy together forever” I wasn’t on the Internet at all until 2008, and not on tumblr until 2011, and not on stan twitter until earlier this year lmao. When I started the tumblr, it was mostly disney and then avengers when it came out? This blog is my first like dedicated I’M IN A FANDOM venture.

Favorite book: I hate this question because I know someone out there will hate me for it *squints* but the honest truth is “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton it’s been my favorite since seventh fucking grade so fight me about it!!!1!

Worst thing you’ve ever eaten/tasted: Oh no this is horrible because I’m a fucking picky ass eater lmao uhhh I hate rice?? bad texture.

What class do you wish you paid more attention to in school? This is not the answer you’re looking for but I had some severe problems in my life when I was in high school so really I wish I had been able to pay more attention to everything in school. I would literally time travel back and redo it all if I could. I would have taken my government classes more seriously, gotten more into my history classes, and would have signed up for AP Art History because I fucking wanted to but I didn’t. If those problems hadn’t been there or hadn’t affected me so badly I would have gotten better grades and could have chosen something different for college. In college, I might have looked for something more like anthropology and focused more on language in a cultural and socio-historical context and not just language and teaching language. Similarly without those problems I would have been able to pay better attention in college and have gotten better grades, done more academic research, etc.

Just hypothetically, if you could get rid of one entire species and not have it screw up the ecosystem at all, what would it be? Humans :’) we’re the worst.

First foray into fanfic? How To Train Your Dragon on that fanfiction net website. I remember seeing the second film and feeling so, like, when are those two going to kiss and get married and live happily ever after? I needed that closure. Then I discovered AUs and ~lemons~ and then I was reading Frozen fic for a while(??) and finally Supernatural. Apple Pie Life by @heyacas was the first fic I read on ao3 after it was recced to me and I never looked back.

You can have unlimited anything from a magic cookie jar (item must fit in a standard sized cookie jar) with the caveat that you cannot monetarily profit from it. Like unlimited cash or things you would sell for cash. What’s in the jar? Firstly what the fuck is a standard sized cookie jar. Secondly this wording prompts me to say... cookies

What do you think about Bill Nye the Science Guy? President Nye 2020

That one book you will never read enough times? Other than the one I mentioned above I’ve read Princess Academy by Shannon Hale a million times and I love it so, so much

What’s something super popular that you just. don’t. get? This is the first thing that comes to mind because frankly there are several things that could go here but I’m answering Videos Of People Getting Hurt. Seriously. Why do I want to watch someone fall off of something or worse get pushed/tricked/otherwise manipulated into doing something I can see (or worse, hear) is painful for them? I can’t stand it.

What’s your super power? Not like telepathy (unless you really have telepathy…), but like. what’s the one thing that you’re known for? Uh... nothing probably? I’m not memorable

What’s that story you tell at parties or whatnot to impress people? I am literally the worst at parties? and impressing people? One story I like to tell is how Boyfriend and I met!

What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Home is an extremely fluid concept. Right now I am about 825 miles from the house that I lived in for about 17 years, Boyfriend is at his work around 16 miles away, 5000 miles from Spain... I could go on.

Hobbies: Writing and reading fanfiction

Favorite place: Favorite beach: Lagos, Portugal. Favorite city: Barcelona, Spain. Favorite museum: the Louvre. Favorite church: Saint Mary of the Angels in Winona, Minnesota. Favorite restaurant: This brunch place we found while wandering in Paris, France. Alternate answers: Boyfriend’s snuggles.

Movie you are most excited about for next year: I haven’t seen Spiderman: Homecoming yet but I’m excited to do so! Also STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI

Beanies or Scarves? Scarves

Last person you texted? Boyfriend

Favorite food? Pasta

Favorite season and why? Summer! Because winter is the FUCKING WORST!

Left Twix or Right? Did you mean: belongs in the trash?

Who would win in a fight: Captain America OR Captain Kirk? Okay like Captain America because? superserum? But James T. Kirk is my precious babe I don’t want them to fight :3

Avengers or X-Men? Avengers

Dream Concert: Go back to my Favorite Artists answer and put all of them together in one show :’)

What fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: Either Harry Potter’s or Rick Riordan’s (but only if I’m friends with The Squad)

Last video game played: Okay on the real it’s probably Dance Dance Revolution from, like, 2006

#wow this was so long forgive me #I love all you beans #tag game

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surveys-r-us · 5 years

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deleted half of this one

- TO TAKE THIS SURVEY, SIMPLY PUT YOUR MUSIC PLAYER ON SHUFFLE AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WITH THE TITLE OF THE SONG THAT COMES ON - [it’s better if you don’t cheat and don’t skip any songs.]

What is your name?: Butch - Saint Motel

How is your life going?: Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve (accurate)

What is your nickname?: Sail - AWOLNATION

What is your theme song?: Unbearably White - Vampire Weekend

What is your best friend’s theme song?: Footloose - Kenny Loggins

How is your life going to turn out?: Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin

Will you get married?: I’m Comin’ Over - Chris Young

Will you have kids?: Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

What will your job be?: Well, You Can Do It Without Me - Father John Misty

Did you/will you finish school?: I’m Your Wreck - Mt. Joy

Who is your best friend?: Alone Sometimes - The Mowgli’s

Who is or will be your significant other?: Enola Gay - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

Who do you like?: Where the Streets Have No Name - U2

How will you die?: Snap Out of It - Arctic Monkeys

How do you feel right now?: Almost Saturday Night - John Fogerty (not inaccurate tho)

What is your favorite song? Here In My Arms - Leon Bridges

How could you describe your parents?: Sweet Thing - Twin Peaks

Your best friend[s]?: You’re so Vain - Carly Simon (lol)

Your teachers?: I Gave You All - Mumford & Sons

Your significant other [or crush…]?: The Sounds of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel (far from true though)

Yourself?: Hurt - Johnny Cash (yep)

What is your best feature?: Hold On, We’re Going Home - Drake

What will you be/should you be, profession-wise?: Impossible - Anberlin

How could you describe this survey?: Australia - The Shins

What makes you angry?: First - Cold War Kids

What makes you sad?: Do You Love Someone - Grouplove

What makes you happy?: Happy Being Miserable - New Found Glory (LOL)

What makes you dance?: Strawberry Blonde - Vacationer

What is your favorite color?: Best Days - Graham Colton

How would you describe yourself?: Use Somebody - Kings of Leon

Who is your worst enemy?: Dead and Gone - State Champs

Who do you hate?: Unfaithful - Rihanna

Who do you love?: Awake My Soul - Mumford & Songs

Who do you lust after?: Part of the Night - Cold War Kids Finish the Sentence I wish: Never Be Like You - Flume (dayumm) I want to: Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson I want to kill:. Watch me Bleed - Tears for Fears I want to eat: On + Off - Maggie Rogers (i mean it works) My head: Mean - Taylor Swift I am: Shadowplay - Joy Division My best feature is: Grease - Frankie Valli

My eyes are: If You Leave - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark My hair is: Way Down We Go - KALEO My face is: I’ll Still Destroy You - The National You should: I’m Going Slightly Mad - Queen

Random Words of advice: The End - Kings of Leon How do others see me?: Every Single Night - Computer Games How do I see myself?: Don’t Bring Me Down - Electric Light Orchestra Now for a little fortune telling… 1. Who am I?: Spacin Out - The Mowgli’s

2. Why am I here?: Raging Fire - Phillip Phillips 3. What’s my theme song?: Someday We’ll Know - New Radicals 4. How’s tomorrow gonna be?: Sweet Creature - Harry Styles 5. What does ______ really think of me?: These Walls - Teddy Geiger 6. What’s this school year going to be about?: No Sleep Till Brooklyn - Beastie Boys 7. Is something bad going to happen in the near future?: Waste a Moment - Kings of Leon 8. What’s the government going to do next?: Forgive You - Leon Bridges 9. What’s my best friend doing right now?: Lust for Life - Lana Del Rey and the Weeknd 10. What does my iPod/MP3 think about me?: Lips of an Angel - Hinder Last section! These next questions are all about music 1. I absolutely LOVE this song!: Let It Ride - Bachman-Turner Overdrive Comments: Just a good vibe 2. I have no clue why this song is still on my music player: Light Years - The National Comments: It’s saved because it’s a new song by them but it’s not my favorite one. 3. This song has AMAZING lyrics: Paradise - George Ezra

Comments: It’s super positive.

4. The band that does this song is one of my favorites: Glad to be Unhappy - Chris Botti feat. John Mayer Comments: John’s my favorite singer. I only have this song saved because of him. 5. My dad loves this song: Bad Day - Daniel Powter Comments: That would be hilarious if he did. 6. My mom can’t stand this song: Give Me Novacaine / She’s a Rebel Comments: She listens to Green Day though 7. I have a sibling who enjoys listening to songs by this band: Love Me - the 1975 Comments: umm probably not. 8. One of my best friends hates the band that does this song: Monday Morning - Fleetwood Mac Comments: It’s impossible to hate Fleetwood Mac though. 9. I got this song off a mix CD: Tearing Me Up - Bob Moses Comments: definitely not 10. This song is on a movie soundtrack: Come Back to Bed - John Mayer Comments: probably not

11. Share a memory involving this song in comments: Nina - Ed Sheeran Comments: being in Ireland when I listened to him a ton. 12. I’ve played this song on repeat before: Roll Over Beethoven - Electric Light Orchestra Comments: I have multiple versions of this song saved so yes. 13. This song is on the band’s Greatest Hit’s CD: Cool Kids - Echosmith Comments: pretty sure this is their only hit song. I don’t even like this song. 14. I love dancing to this song!: The Space Between - Valencia Comments: More like headband to. 15. This song gets me every time I hear it: I Don’t Love You - My Chemical Romance Comments: eh not really 16. This song is great to listen to when you’re angry: Everyday is Like Sunday - Morrissey Comments: nah not at all unless you want to calm down 17. I love the music video for this song: Can’t Stop the Feelin - Justin Timberlake Comments: i don’t watch music videos. they all suck. 18. I’ve seen the band that performs this song live: Fader - The Temper Trap Comments: I haven’t. 19. Is this song better to listen to at night, in the morning, or in the afternoon?: Hard to Handle - The Black Crowes Comments: afternoon 20. I haven’t listened to this song in so long!: England’s Dreaming - Boston Manor Comments: you could say that

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nicolebradshawphotography · 6 years

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Books 25-36: A Book Review by a Photographic Bookworm

The final set of reviews for 2017! I made it, with a few days to spare. Well, let’s get to it:

25.) Tangled Hearts: An LDS Novel (Kansas Connections Book 1 by Roseanne Wilkins- I originally downloaded book 2 in this series because I am LDS, and it was offered for free at some point. BUT, free- at least in this case- does not mean terrible. I purchased this book because I’m one of those crazy people who hate to start reading a series in the middle, and before I knew it, I was whole-heartedly sucked into this novel. It was fast paced, inherently sweet, and very true to form.

26.) Hidden in the Heart: An LDS Novel (Kansas Connections Book 2 by Roseanne Wilkins- I happen to have been stuck in the back of my grandmother’s car on a road trip with not much to do except read, which is why I finished this book and it’s predecessor in succinct order. I was surprised to find that this novel did not have much of a connection to the first- only a brief mention of one of the characters from the first novel- but, it easily held it's own. This bittersweet follow up took a really hard topic, and showcased it in a very classy way.

27.) The Guardian by Beverly Lewis- I love reading anything this author publishes (for those who don’t know, Ms. Lewis is the daughter of C. S. Lewis of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe fame). This Amish tale was set in the rural countryside of Southeastern Pennsylvania, and is a sweet reminder of our Heavenly Father’s love- despite, or perhaps in spite of, our attitudes toward Him.

28.) Child of the Mist by Kathleen Morgan- Ms. Morgan is another Christian author that I’ve come to love. This historical romance features a young woman mistaken for a witch, who is forced to wed a neighboring Lord by her father. Sometimes comical, sometimes nerve wracking, but always compassionate, this book is possibly a new favorite.

29.) Wings of Morning by Kathleen Morgan- I know. I have a thing for book series, but when I find something good, I like to read all of it! This book is the continuation of Child of the Mist, and is a wonderful follow-up to it's predecessor.

30.) A Fire Within by Kathleen Morgan- The finale of this particular series, and just as sweet, but perhaps a bit predictable. I will definitely re-read it if I re-visit this series, but it wasn’t as poignantly written as the other two.

31.) The Digital Photography Book, Part 2 by Scott Kelby- One thing I did learn in college was where to find resources for the things that I want or need to learn about. This book definitely helped me learn a few new things about photography lighting that I’ve since been using in my sessions.

32.) Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee- This book is hard to describe. I’d read To Kill a Mocking Bird in grade school, but this novel touched my heart in a very different way than it did. I don’t know if the difference was my age, or my understanding, but I am glad I’ve read it.

33.) The Innocent by Bertrice Small- We all have our guilty pleasures, and this book is one of mine. Ms. Small is a romance novelist, and this novel does have parts that are ‘R’ rated, but that is not what makes this sweet tale one of my favorites. It is a love story set in Medieval England, and the lengths that the characters go to to return to one another is heartwarming.

34.) An Irish Country Christmas by Patrick Taylor- I couldn’t resist returning to the small Irish town of Balleybucklebo just before Christmas myself. Mr. Taylor did not disappoint in the hijinks the doctors get up to to provide one very hard working single mom with a nice Christmas.

35.) An Irish Country Girl by Patrick Taylor- This epistle takes us back to when Mrs. Maureen ‘Kinky’ Kincaid was a young woman, and helps to enlighten readers as to how Kinky knows things, and where she learned to cook like she does. It provides a sweet and loving insight into one of the souls who lives at No. 1 Main Street.

36.) An Irish Country Courtship by Patrick Taylor- This episode will finish with you almost yelling, ‘It’s about damn time!’ by the time you finish it. I’ll leave you to decipher which of the doctors becomes engaged in this book, but I will share that they do get up to some new cons to help those who deserve it, and perhaps chastise those who need it. This is perhaps my favorite of the series so far.

Well, I made it! 36 books in 12 months. It was a fun challenge, and one that has me thinking about what I want to read this year! So, leave a comment below with YOUR favorite book! I need new suggestions.

#Book Review #Get to Know Nicole #Personal #My Life

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todokori-kun · 7 years

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(remember how I kept mentioning that my computer has been weird?

It finally just broke down and I feel like I’ll have to wait a couple of days for it to be ok again…currently using dad’s computer that he never uses, but since the keyboard on this one is a bit wonky there may be more typos than I usually make. Sorry OTL)

It’s quite the heartwarming moment. Look at how happy Draco looks

She was PUNCHING her stomach??? Idk how I missed that when I was reading the chapter, gotta go reread it now…but why, Touka. Why would you do that.

I’d much prefer an Uta/Touka child tho. Kaneki's kid might not be able to escape being involved in a tragedy, but any child of Uta’s is destined to be the one writing that tragedy. At least they’d be safe(ish).

Ugh I’m imagining Eto passing on the title of OEK to the Touken kid as she’s dying like

“If I say goodbye, this world will learn to move on. Our legacy outlives me when I’m gone…”

Ok, but wait. What if. Uncle Hide meets Eto and the child at the airport and drives them to their new home, where a tall man with a serious face, white hair and a pink flower-patterned shirt is waiting for them…

“Who’s that, Auntie Eto?”

“That’s your grandfather, sweetheart.”

(No idea whether I should smile or sob over those Hide gifs)

My sister is the girl who claims that she’s the queen of Korea.

“Sweetheart, Korea already has a president.”

“Then I’m the queen of England.”

“You’re not from England though…”

“I can speak English!”

(five year old logic. This is an actual conversation we had once. She’s also read a bit of Black Butler’s more kid-friendly arcs with me (I’ve altered canon to make her believe that Sebastian is like Ciel’s fairy godfather or something lol)…and is convinced that whenever those pictures of Sebastian pulling off his glove with his teeth pop up he’s actually eating his glove.)

Well, as you can probably tell I’m still a masochist/sadist when it comes to characters and stories XD

And since I sent Naomi and Louisa, I hope you liked them! :) Louisa’s still in development so there might have been too little info, sorry about that ^^;;

Yeah, you’re right, it’s pretty op. However, I was actually trying to make her a bit op, if that makes sense? I thought it might be good to make her naturally a super powerful ghoul so that it would really show how much she’s holding herself back.

(You might have noticed that I ended up scrapping the kakuja anyway though ^^;; Naomi and Tatsuo are both old OCs I decided to remake and I couldn’t remember the backstory behind how she got her it. I didn’t really want to make a new explanation so yeah, no kakuja XD)

Honestly, my personal opinion on OCs is that being super powerful is fine as long as you can have it make sense (example: if you have an AoT OC making them a really strong soldier is fine, especially if they’re a new member of the MP or a Survey Corps veteran. However, you cannot make them as strong as/stronger than Levi and Mikasa unless they are a dead member of the Ackerman clan, and having them on the same level as the Titan trio is also pushing it unless they were also trained to be warriors/potential titan shifters). Angst is fine too as long as it fits (dead parents and a violent childhood spent alone on the streets is the average backstory for a ghoul in the TG universe, but not for a skater from YoI) and you know how to pull it off. I mean, Kaneki’s story is basically 99.9% tragedy but Ishida nailed it. I think it depends on the writer’s skill level and understanding of the character.

And I definitely did not have the required skill level/understanding when I created that Catwoman OC lol

It seems we’ve both improved a lot since those dark times though, so that’s great! :D (still, sometimes I’m not quite sure if I’m doing it right haha…but from what you’ve shown me you’re being a queen again. How do you do it. Please teach me your ways).

I can relate to that…I make OCs just because I like developing them. The only ones who ever actually get used are the characters for my original stories (like Louisa) ^^;;

Well, I did imagine some of his role in TG canon and I planned for him to die in Re…probably because of Naomi, because he has a very strong sense of self-preservation until his baby sister gets involved.

It is a perfect gif. And yes, that’s usually what happens when I try to explain my fandoms to my parents/acquaintances. (Aot is especially awkward because in the Korean version titans are just called ‘giants’, and whenever I talk about it with other people not in the fandom I can just FEEL that they’re imagining fully-dressed fairytale giants like the one in Jack and the Beanstalk lol)

You’ll probably have to use it again soon because I’m working on that Kaneki/reader Heathers AU ;)

Btw, Shuu/Kaneki song list that I just thought of (you probably know a lot of the songs on here too, but I just felt this weird need to show it to you. It’s mostly from Shuu’s POV):

Part 1

Blank Space- Taylor Swift

Irresistible- Fall Out Boy

Kiss with a Fist- Florence + The Machine

Fire meet Gasoline- Sia

Love the way you lie- Skylar Grey

I don’t wanna live forever- ZAYN & Taylor Swift

Part 2:

Dark Paradise- Lana Del Rey

Ultraviolence- Lana Del Rey

Jet pack blues- Fall Out Boy

Breath of Life- Florence + The Machine

Colors- Halsey

Before I say anything. THE NEW BLACK BUTLER CHAPTER IS OUT I AM DECEASED. IT HAPPENED HOLY SHIT IT HAPPENED I WANNA SCREAM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay enough yelling. But damn, I am McFricking emotional right now, because damn, it was expected but unexpected and holy shit I can not calm myself down because w h a t t h e h e l l Idk if you’ve read it (sorry if you didn’t, this probably doesn’t make any sense ^^;;) I just. Wow. woow. I wanna put the panels here, but if I do, it’s a spoiler and I don’t wanna spoil it for you. When you do read it, please come scream with me.

Aw, that’s a shame :/ Hopefully it gets fixed soon!

The joy on his face is unmistakeable. Just look at it

No, no, I’m not sure if she was punching it, I just said that it’d be bad if she did punch it, since she had punched her stomach in the anime when her friend delivered that food. Also, in the school’s bathroom stall.

Uta/Touka child would be the ultimate troll. Damn, now I’m wishing it’s their child as well :P

That would be sad, but completely honestly, Eto’s death wouldn’t phase me all that much.

And now you’ve melted my heart to the end. Congrats on not breaking it for once :)))

I like your sis hahah Give her the newest chapter of BB and we’ll see how she reacts *sadistic grinning* Bassy eating his gloves certainly is an interesting thought, though.

I like both of them ^^ I definitely want to hear more about Louisa, though

It seems we have different views on OCs here ^^;; Honestly, op characters haven’t been my favourite after I finished my phase of making them hahaha How I see it, having an all powerful characters erases a lot of great opportunities for character development and sometimes even makes the plot pointless, since they could solve it at any time, by themselves. Not to mention it can make them very unoriginal. This is especially present in my views of AoT OCs. Most of them are either Titan Shifters (which is also canonically impossible considering the recent chapters, unless you add a new titan type (also pushing it)) or as strong as/stronger than Levi, which makes them all bland and hard to distinguish between. Why not make a character strong in their own way? Instead of being an expert with blades (just like Levi), why not have them be someone extremely skilled with 3DMG, so they can serve as distraction for titans until others finish it off? Sure, that doesn’t mean the character will have a ton of solo kills (which is something OC creators seem to value a lot), but it still makes them important to the team. Also, one of my biggest problems with those OCs: they all join the Survey Corps (despite being in top 10 (also pretty much a requirement for OCs)) and are extremely brave and yadayadayada Let’s be honest, if we were in that world and managed to get top 10, chances are we’d join the MP. Or at least the Garrison.

As for angst, I’m fine with an angsty backstory, as long as it doesn’t go too far. Sure, kill the parents and have them wander on the streets, but for fucks sake, if you do that, there’s no reason for the character to be molested, experimented on by a cult, have a best friend who dies purely for the plot and then make the see the undead or something, so they are more Edgy™

Whoops, that turned out quite long ^^;;; This is just my personal opinion, though.

Well, when making my newer OCs, I try to focus on character flaws. What makes them human? What would break them? Why do they have powers, yet aren’t able to defeat everything with a single kick (ONE PUUUUNCH)? I guess making 'flawless’ characters in the past made me take the opposite approach today :p

Well, Titans do look ridiculous. I mean,

Not fairy tale material, but enough for the whole fandom to make fun of them.

Oh my, am I going to get my feelings destroyed again?

Actually, I don’t know a few of the songs ^^;;; I’ll go listen to them now ^^

#evans #submission

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