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hunters-hairnoodle · 1 year

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Hey

This is my first post ever and ig technically a rant post but idrc. None of you know who I am and that’s okay. I just occasionally have these days where my mind breaks. I survive each day and then it builds up until eventually there’s a night where I just burst. Tonight’s that night. I have no one to talk to this about. If I talk to my friends they won’t understand or won’t know what to do. My sister, maybe but unlikely. My mom is part of the issue and my dad would never understand. He’d just console me and act like that’s that, problem solved. Or he’d bring up fucking Jesus and make me pray over it, when I’m honestly fucking done with religion.

The days themselves are fine, they’re fine ig. I mean little issues here and there but overall it’s fine. But i get to these nights and realize that it’s not all fine and that there’s a lot of fucking problems, but I can’t do anything about it. I’m a teenager, I don’t have money or can legally drive. Besides running away or suicide my options are limited.

This is gonna sound so stupid to some people, and people will make fun of me for it cuz teenagers are demons who harvest on despair and anguish, but I’m just so worried that I can never be myself ever. At school it’s a facade. At home it’s a facade on who my mom wants me to be. I try to fit into it, but ik I’m fucking miserable. But whenever I am myself no one likes it. I become to weird or nerdy or annoying. And my mom hates it when I actually act like myself. I’ve broken free a little bit over the years, but overall I keep everything restrained. And she’s not a bad person, my mother, she’s just complicated. I can’t tell if she’s the issue or if I am. If I’m actually the bratty kid who’s complaining for no reason or if I have a legitimate reason to be upset. I can’t tell and I don’t know if I ever will be.

On nights like these I go unnoticed by my family so I can wallow in pity alone. For some reason I can’t explain whenever anyone sees me crying or upset or having a panic attack or needing to rant I stop immediately. I listen through the walls as I cry to hear any movement. As soon as I hear any and hear my mother open her bedroom door to go to the bathroom i immediately stop and quiet myself. Just tonight while I was crying and breathing heavily and having a hard time thinking straight and acting normally I heard my mom talking to my sister. I stopped immediately and hid my phone since i knew she wouldn’t want me up. Just as I thought she walked into my room to say goodnight. I hid the crying sound from my voice as well as I could. For once she actually seemed concerned and asked if something was wrong. I was so tempted to tell her to be able to rant and cry to her, but I couldn’t. Because the problems are either her or me being gay and non-binary or just people at school. And whenever I share I’m always bad at it and don’t know how to describe it and get frustrated with myself. Guess I’m better at typing it all out then saying it. Then she always ends up getting mad at me for extending her help and I hate myself more.

It’s not she’s a bad person she’s just hard. She yells curses in the car all the time at other drivers, which Ik isn’t a big deal but when you’ve been at school all day and just want some peace you’re hearing yelling. She’s also very judgemental of other people. She judged everyone by class and looks and their behavior. And it’s to an excessive degree. I think this may have caused me to feel the way I do about myself rn. She never says anything to me specially, but that’s when I act the right way. When I actually act like myself and wear what I want and look how I wish she judges me. Even if she doesn’t say anything directly I can tell by the way she looks and the way she responds with a tight voice. And the issue is whenever I vocalize any of these either what happens is above or she levels it down to me being a teenager and acting like a teen, therefore making my feelings not matter. That’s probably why I’m questioning if I have the right to be upset rn.

She’s also like a feminist which is a bad thing but it’s in a toxic way. Like every single man is bad boo. And then she’s hypocritical in the sense because she’ll hold men by the stereotypes but then changing her mind when it doesn’t benefit her. It’s hard to explain, but that’s the gist of it. For example we watched Hamilton together and she was complaining that there were no women in it (we hadn’t gotten to Schuyler sisters yet) she complained about how they have color blind casting and all that but why women couldn’t play these roles. I explained that it has to do with voice parts since usually AFAB and AMAB people have different sounding voices. She huffed and puffed at this. Throughout the thing she would make me stop so she could learn about the women involved in it and then would just kinda talk shit about the dudes the whole time and making it this whole thing when it’s just a fucking musical about a founding father. And I just have a complicated relationship with it since I’m AFAB and non-binary it’s just hard. Cuz I’m a feminist just not in my moms sense of it. And she’s hypocritical with it. Like when we watched the Oscar’s this lady won for this feminist movie and she did a whole feminism speech thing and my mom was all here for it. But later on when black Panther won something and the lady made a speech about black power she changes the channel! And Ik she would do the same shit if it was a speech about LGBTQ stuff.

With LGBTQ it’s so fucking hard being a gay non-binary teen. I live in the south and everyone here is fucking toxic christian who just say they don’t support it and move on. Or if they accept me they don’t really. Or they just tolerate it. Ig you would call it lesbian non-binary technically. That’s what I am. I have a they/them pin on my backpack and beanie. But no one calls me the right shit. I can’t correct them cuz then they’ll look at me and we’ll talk and they’ll just think it’s weird and not care enough. And being gay is the fucking worse. I’m the odd one out and yeah I can joke about it but it gets hard. I take a lot of shit letting people joke about it. Even with the f slur. But I can’t say anything. I’m still seen as weird for it, tho I am one of the more accepted ones for it probably cuz I don’t make a big deal about it. I haven’t really dated anyone. Ik if I did or actually talked about how I liked girl I’d be see as weird and looked at funny. Even with girls I’m friends with theyll just single me out for it. Like when we’re joking around and their being silly straight girls, and I’m not even trying to join in, they’ll be like “well not you cuz you’re gay and I don’t want you getting the wrong idea.” And then whenever I actually try to share my opinion on gay shit and how it makes me feel it doesn’t even matter. What’s worst of all is one of my best friends doesn’t fucking accept me cuz she’s super Christian. I want to talk to her about it but I can’t I fucking can’t cuz she doesn’t agree. I get asked weird questions or I get asked why im like this. I just wanna be myself for fucks sake. Why can’t anyone get that?

Im out to the whole grade and im really starting to regret it.

I forgot to mention that my parents are divorced. My dads basically a sex addict but pretends he’s not. He’s just weird with everything, I never know what to do around him. I don’t know exactly what happened to make me get where I am with him, but yeah. Oh and my parents hate each other and don’t hide it. I don’t mind it too much but I bet it has some affect on me.

Ik if ever told my mom I was gay it wouldn’t go great. There are several possibilities for it. She would either tell me I’m not, tell me I don’t know yet, or pretend to accept me but not really and judge me for it. And the non-binary thing she would hate. She’d wonder why I don’t want to be a woman. She’d say I’m just a masculine girl. But Ik I’m not. I’ve thought for fucking months about that shit and being called a girl and SHE sounds weird and wrong and not me. If I told her my new name too she’d flip. She’d wonder what was wrong with the name she chose and why I don’t like it anymore. She’d take it as a personal offense.

This just adds to the fact that I can never be myself. But I don’t even know if that’s a good thing. No one at school ever likes when I am. They talk down about the few times I was myself. But I don’t even know wtf that is. I think it’s a little bit of what I am now, but not fully. My mom doesn’t like when I act how I want to at all. And just so you know I’m not some rebellious teen trying to do drugs or something. I just want to vibe as myself fully and without bounds. Do the things I want to do and not hold back. Wear what I want, get my hair how I want. But I can’t. It’s not just them. I’m scared to. I’ve been told my whole life that this is what good successful people do and looking this way or that will get judged and people will think this about you (aka when my mom judges everyone on every little thing). And then if I can be myself maybe I’ll finally be happy. But Ik it won’t work cuz people at school will make fun of me behind my back. I don’t know why I have all these issues or if they’re even issues at all. Maybe I am just a bratty teen complaining about nothing. I feel as tho I should be happy cuz on the surface that’s what it should be. But I’m not. Cuz if this is what happiness is it’s shit. But I don’t even know what that feels like and idk if I ever will.

If you’ve come this far thanks for reading all this. You’ve indulged me for one of my annual “nights” where I break. Thanks. I hope you’re happy.

#i don’t even know why tf I did this #here you go ig thanks for listening to me #Ill see you some other time ig #i fucking hate myself and will probably regret this

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aphrorite · 2 years

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-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #8 !! 🥞💫🧸

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ june 14th 2022 🎻🍞🐻 ⊹ɞ

hewwo diary :3 today im din hav too ba day, or may bee im jus block out da bad parts >_< im slight vent buuuuut also a feel teensy 🤏 bit bwetter. <3

tw vent // vent regression

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

so where do im start diary? 😮😮 oh ya ! :3 2day im woke up likeee 10 mins before my bus came so im din hav much time 2 get ready BUT BUT BUT ,,, im did wear deordoorrant which is gud ! cos usually when i wakes up lil lwates dese days , im forget deodorant n it make me very embarrassed bcos im stress sweat easily … n dont wanna bother peoples w bad smellys ))): so am proud dat im din forget this time!!! ^ω^ am wore a maroon varsity jacket dat matches my school colours <3 denim jean shorts n a white tubbie top along w my signature pearl necklace :33 im was feeling very pretty today 🙈😊

sooo todays im got on bus in time 🚌 ^o^ im din get time eat breakfast doe so im was hungry ))))): gurgurugyrle. maths class was really borinf n i din really understand it >_< n den art class was vry rypical but im had funny moment where im went to refill the paper towel n just as i refill it there dis guy who looked down at the papertowel like :0 then at me like :0 and we had a good laugh <3 (:

im kinda sad doe because recently my friend has been acting weird :I she wa skinda passive aggressive to me when i explained to her tht i was hanging out w my close friend for stranger tings s4 n was like “i understand u wanted to hangout w him but likeee im here you know” which mad eme feel kinda sad and obliged when i dont owe her any of my time as a friend . bcos if we were gonna aply this logic to her than id passively aggressive remark her everytime she hang out w her friends. and she has lots. but i dont. im dont even b mad or express it. ya it kinda lonely and a lil sad bc i wish i had lot friend like her doe honestly she just kinda poopy friend rn ): n even when she hangout w other friend i understand cos everyone have ofher fg and she do too and she not obliged to hangout w me but when she do its like im not even dere. u inv me and rhen trweat me badly. is meanie. and den after that day i tried hanging out w her or a few day later n then she really left me out n i just walk behind everyone and felt so alone and she din even say goodbye to me when i walked into my class so i felt so alone and left out and unwanted ): i wanted 2 cry ))): after dat day things habent felt the same and seein what she posts on her story makes me feel like it a slap in the face becos she always talking abt how she so stressed abt schoolwork but i see her hanging out w her friends every single day and den she complains abt it, n then complains abt people msging her n doesnt reply and it makes her sound rlly ungrateful ): ik she jusy very stressed bur if she is then she should let people know to take it easy on her but she dont n it really… urhhggg it make me ): angy. sad. bothered. annoyed. and its ok to feel day way cos its emorions and i am allowed to. *sigh* im jusy wish dings were diff cos i thought she were my rock doe for now i just distance :I

im gor driveb work n it was :IIIII,,, OH OMGGGG im went into winners and i found dese rlly cute stuffies n a playmat!! a lady looked ar me weird but im kiddo so is ok if i look at toys n placemats ):< even if i not kiddomo it still ok hmph )):<< but YA they were so cute uhggg im wants buy them so bad it was $40 OG but was going for $30 so only 10% off T^T hmph. dey were feel like pillows doe when i touch the playmat so now i reallllyyy want a playmat or a pink rug :0 for my room !!!!

so den i ate lunch n it was yummy 😋:3 but when i try deunk me water it had soap in it becaos im not priplery clean waterborfl yesterday!!!!! ): but fortunatel y im make myself custom order at starbuck n manage to get a deal ! im wanted fhe deagonfruit lemonade refresher but for a grande 470 ml it was 5.85, so im did custom lemonade w 2 pump raspberry, scoop of strawberry, dragonfruit infusiob and light ice in a venti 780 ml and got that for 5.35 so i got a deal for the same taste :DD 😋😁 i happy it mobile ordee roo soo im not have to spend time trying to tell ordwer cos im get anxious sometime ))): esp w starbuck. i am ok w ordering boba sometime bcos im know what i want but starbuck mot so mych ))):

work kinda made me sad ): im was on stock and the only ding i get as a gift for working at it for 4 ish month is a 75$ gift card dat would b like… abt 1-2 paycheck (basically one biweekly for a month) but i did internship for free for 4 month. ): i just wish i learnee more or had a more enjoyable experience because honestly my boss is very toxic and she completely didnt even inv me to the employee photo for an outfit op which make me feel excluded and alone, hearing them all pose and laugh outside on the sales floor while i worked on stock alone in the back ):

my rl mom told me that alone i stand out feom the crowd as a star and dont need people like them who seek external validation which sort of made me feel better but i just wish id feel not so alone even when in crowds ): im always feel like an alien or an outsider )):

im got home, pet my furbaby, n then fell asleepy when im not supposed to ): so i feel bad abt taking nap. im sleep for 3 hr wake up n is 8:30 . im did homework which was personal finance n was kinda hard so i couldnt get alot done :I my rl mom gav me food doe before bed n brought it up which was nice bc i was only thinkin of homeworks n not of dindin. so im ate bacon egg and some 🍜 😊😋 yum yum.

am was hesitant but im called my clwose friend cos recently him n i gots in situation dat really made me sad ): we had a heart-to-heart conversation dwoe and now have a better understanding and i am so relieved dat i checked on him bc i miss his voice n his lil laughs n stutters ))’: and he missed me too which made my heart warm ( ^ω^ ) am glad that im din cry too cos if i did then itd b difficults to speak but im was super super strong today !!! im still strong when im cry but today???? nah im was strong strong ! hehe

so ya im talk w him for like hour n den now i in bed. im gon fill out habit tracker, manifestation n shut my eye, dat p much da update diary. i am very very sad indivudal and im trying to get theough it befor i relapse relapse n dings go sour. i am jusr hoping that my stress will b taken away soon and dat i can finally have my wants and needs come to fruition. i love u diary. muwah muwah.

and im also want dino hoodie but cant find any one i likes :S hmmmph ):< but am will find one one day ! <3

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx

#sfw agere #sfw agere blog #agere #aphrorite.diary #🌸

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yourmidnightlover · 3 years

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holding hands

never stop loving me part 2 :)

summary - after reader and spencer make it home safe and almost sound, spencer decides to show her just how much he loves her touch.

tw - smut, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (yea, ik i do this a lot), teasing?, fingering, oral (female receiving), soft dom!spencer, fluff

wc - 2,671

a/n - you could totally read this as a stand alone piece, just know that spencer is kinda in the doghouse rn bc he said mean things to reader abt her being all touchy and annoying (even tho she isn’t). happy reading 😌

masterlist

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spencer had said he was going to make it up to you.

did he know how yet? not really. would he figure out how? absolutely.

you had been rather distant after you had solved the case and on the plane ride back home. you still sat beside him, but you didn't make any move to touch him or lay your head on him as you normally would. maybe it was because you just didn't feel like it, but spencer knew better than to think that.

"do you want to order takeout tonight?" you turned towards him to ask the question.

"yea, of course we can," he agreed, his arm reaching around your body to pull you closer to him. he felt you stiffen under his touch. "are you alright?" it was his turn to look at you, you nodded up at him.

"i'm alright," you clarified, giving him a tight-lipped smile that wasn't very convincing. eventually, you settled into his arm, leaning your head on his shoulder and succumbing to the sleep you needed.

when you woke up, it was to spencer swatting away morgan's hand while shushing him.

"morgan, she needs her rest in order to heal properly!" he whisper-yelled while trying to move morgan's hand away but failing. "don't touch her, only i can!" he clarified, morgan threw his hands up in defense as he turned to sit back down.

"y'know you get more protective than i thought you would be," morgan shrugged with a chuckle.

"what's that mean?" spencer argued defensively.

"it means that princess there is well taken care of. you just don't seem like the possessive type of guy," he reiterated as he pulled out his headphones.

"i'm not being possessive," he defended himself. "i'm being a good boyfriend by not letting you wake her up just so you can ask her a ridiculous question," spencer looked down at you in your peaceful sleeping position.

you hadn't slept well in the hospital. spencer knew this because each time he went to sleep you were awake, and you would be awake when he woke back up. the night before you were in the hospital he heard you cry yourself to sleep and you woke up before him. so, in his mind, you needed as much rest as possible if you wanted to heal properly.

that, and he wanted to feel you cuddled against him as you slept for the first time in a week.

"i think it's more than that, genius," the bald man scoffed.

"what do you think it is?" spencer sassed.

"well, i think it has something to do with the fact that you and pretty girl there," he nodded towards you, "were in a fight and you missed her."

spencer sighed, "is it that obvious?" he used his free hand to move a piece of hair from your face, his hand lingering there for a second longer.

"look, kid, i may or may not have heard what happened thanks to a little someone. you should let her know how much she means to you, alright? she's probably feeling like you're doubting your relationship because of her, so make sure she knows that she's it for you," he advised his curly-headed friend.

"she's not 'it' for me, derek," spencer sighed once more. "she's my everything."

you stirred in your 'sleep' to alert them of your presence, slowly sitting up in an attempt to not hurt yourself.

"hey, princess," spencer whispered, moving that same annoying strand of hair from your face and tucked it behind your ear.

"mmm... hi," you stretched your arms over spencer so you wouldn't hit him. "how long until we land?"

"about half an hour," he informed you, whispering as the other team members slept. "if you'd like to go back to sleep i'll wake you up before we land."

"i'm alright, thank you," you smiled.

you could be mad at him while being a nice person. you just didn't know if you were ready to get over what he had said to you.

——————————

you had gone straight home after landing, permittable by hotch who saw how tired the two of you were.

both of you were laying together on the couch, you slightly on top of spencer because of your still bruised rib that slightly hurt, he angled his head down and started kissing your neck softly. your breathing got heavier, your breaths being few and far between as your hands reached back to grasp spencer's curls.

"spence?" you asked, more like whispered. he continued his actions, the only thing that signified he actually heard you being a small hum against your skin. "i-i... can we...?" you trailed off, not sure how to ask for what you wanted.

"can we what, princess?" he asked his hands reaching around to the front of your body, lightly ghosting over your bare legs.

"you know what, spencer," you huffed in annoyance as you rolled your eyes. he squeezed your thigh firm enough to know he had done it, but gentle enough to know it wouldn't leave any marks that were too bad.

"and you know better than to roll your eyes at me," he whispered in your ear, nipping gently at your lobe. "now... tell me exactly what you want."

"i want whatever you'll give me," you turned your face towards him, giving him your best puppy dog eyes before adding, "please?" you pursed your bottom lip into a pouty position.

that was apparently the magic word because as soon as they had left your mouth, you could have sworn you heard spencer growl in your ear before continuing to kiss and nip at your neck, leaving his marks all over your body. you felt his erection twitch in his pants as you whimpered from the touch of his lips on you which spurred you to grind your ass against his hips. he grabbed your hips to still their movement before sitting up with you, slowly as to make sure he didn't hurt your ribs.

"can you walk to the room by yourself?" he asked in his normal, sweet, non-dominating spencer voice, to which you nodded your head yes as you began to walk where he had asked.

you knelt by the door naked in wait for him, hoping he'd give you something to take your mind off of your injury. when he walked in, he could've sworn he felt his heart grow with even more love for you, something he thought was already impossible.

"princess, why're you on the floor?" he questioned, kneeling down to get eye level with you.

"why isn't your dick in my mouth?" you countered, a smirk growing on your face.

"i was gonna be nice tonight since you're not well so i wouldn't push it, doll," he gave you a stern look that told you to watch it. "i still have some making up to do, i believe?" your smile returned even brighter than before as he helped you back to your feet and into the bed.

once you were comfortable, he was practically worshipping your body with each kiss and hum against your body.

"i can't imagine never touching you again, y/n," he made his way down to your chest, his lips wrapping around your nipple. he gently tugged on it with his teeth before releasing it and doing the same to the other one.

"these tits," he sucked a hickey onto one of them before moving to the other.

"this stomach," he kissed all over your torso, being extremely careful of your bruises as your hands around through his locks once more.

"love the way it feels when i lay on it," he made his way down to your thighs, loving the way you squirmed underneath his touch. he hovered right over the place you wanted most and gently bit down on your thigh, your hips bucking upward subtly from the shock.

"god, these thighs," he huffed as he squeezed them once more. "love the feeling of them wrapping around my head when i'm between them."

"then how about you get between them, then?" you sighed sarcastically, your neediness getting the better of you

"so very impatient," he mocked before pressing one final kiss to your inner thigh. "but what the princess wants, the princess gets. for now, at least."

he licked a thick stripe up your slit, tantalizingly slow just to hear the whimpers that left your lips from the feeling. your hands flew to his hair, gripping it tight as he continued to lap at your pussy.

"so good, sir," you moaned out. "please don't stop. don't stop!" you cried as his lips wrapped around your clit. "uh- right there! yes!" you shouted as your thighs strained to remain still. "yes! oh fuck, yes!" you yelled as the high hit you like a train, his hands grasped your hips so they would stay in place, working you through that euphoria. "oh, thank you, thank you so much..." you trailed off, running your hands through his hair once more as he began making his way up your body, peppering kisses all around you.

"mmm, you did so good for me, y/n," he praised before connecting your lips to his in a passionate kiss. you whimpered into his mouth greedily. "someone's eager, yea princess?" he chuckled. you nodded your head as you bit your lip. "what do you want? i need you to tell me," he whispered, his hands trailing down your body once more and connecting with your sensitive center.

"pl-please," you whined, your hips bucking into his hand. "you, i want you," you informed him as if he hadn't already known.

"you have me now," he chuckled.

"no, no. i want you inside me," you pouted, your hands pulling the hair at the nape of his neck for punctuation.

"you want me inside you?" he asked as he pushed his fingers inside you, your mouth widening to form an 'o' from the surprise. "there, i'm inside you," he teased once more as he began thrusting his fingers in and out. you held onto his arm, a way to ground yourself so you could stil talk without sounding like a baby.

"your- i want your... shit... your dick. i want your dick inside me, please," you practically begged as his fingers began curling inside of you in that perfect spot.

"ohh, is that what you meant?" he asked like a smart ass, you couldn't find it in you to be a brat about it, so you just nodded your head as he worked you through your second orgasm of the night.

"yes! ohhh, fuck, yes," your hips rutted up against his hand from the pleasure. "please, please," you asked once more. "can you please just fuck me now? i want your cock..."

"aww, of course, princess," he said with a bright smile.

he got up from the bed only to remove himself of his remaining clothes before adjusting himself, lining his dick up with your center. he ran his dick through your already wet folds before slowly pushing himself inside of you, knowing you'd still need to adjust to his length.

"so beautiful, y/n," he grasped your hands, interlacing your fingers with his as he began to push himself inside you once more.

it might've been the feeling of being in submission for him, but you felt overcome with emotions. the intimacy of the moment you were sharing was more than just the sex you normally had. it was beautiful. the way he looked at you with awe each time he thrust himself back inside of you. the way you held onto his hands tightly in order to tell yourself that it was real... that he was real.

"god, i love you," he groaned as he kissed you fervently, his pace still set relatively slower than usual. "so much, y/n."

"i love- i love you," you moaned, removing your hands from his only so you could wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling his body closer to yours. "spence, spence i'm so close," you whined in his ear, which only egged him on.

"i've got you, y/n," he pulled back to look at you as you came on his dick. "let go. let go for me," he moved a piece of hair from your face once more as your mouth flew open in pure bliss. your nails dug into his back as your pussy clenched around him, bringing upon his own orgasm, spurts of his releasing covering your walls. "fuck, y/n," he groaned, burying his neck into your shoulder before you pulled it out, wanting to observe him in such a vulnerable state.

"i love you," you whispered, only him able to hear it.

"i love you," he whispered back, pressing your foreheads together as he caught his breath.

when he managed to pull out, he found a new pair of underwear and pulled them on before going to grab you a fresh pair of his clothes to wear to sleep - you liked that they smelled like him, it helped you sleep better.

"where're you goin'?" you whined from the bed, trying to sit up abruptly but only finding a shooting pain going through your abdomen.

"shhh," he whispered, rushing to the side of the bed to guide you back to laying down. his hands found your shoulders and right before he was going to release them, you grabbed his hands.

"are you leaving me again?" you asked pitifully, tears welling in your eyes.

"no, sweetheart," he furrowed his brows. "i'm never going to leave you," he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"i know... i know i can be annoying like you said and i'm working on it," you looked down at your hands, which were now in your lap. "just please be patient?"

"you don't need to work on anything," he wiped the tears from your cheeks. "i never should have said those things to you, whether or not i was upset. i'm so sorry i made you doubt yourself," you found yourself wiping his own tears away. "now let's get you into the bathroom, okay?" you nodded as he helped you get up, guiding you to the bathroom to relieve yourself.

while you were doing your business, he went and got you that change of clothes you needed and brought them to you once you were done. he used a damp, warm washcloth to clean up between your legs and made sure to wash your face for you. he helped you get changed, letting you use him as a balancing bar, and then directed you back to the bed. he rest his head on his pillow, looking over and seeing you still on your side of the bed, not curling up into him as you usually do.

"y/n," he whispered. "i know you're probably still mad at me, which is totally fine because just because we had sex doesn't mean i'm done making it up to you. but... it's kind of harder to sleep without you cuddling with me than i thought. so if you're alright with it can we just..." he trailed off.

"spence?" you asked with a giggle.

"hmm?"

"i'm not supposed to sleep on my stomach or side," you held back a laugh, knowing it would hurt. "i mean, i'm glad we're on the same page about you still making it up to me, but it's kinda doctor's orders that i don't sleep like that."

"oh..." he bit his lip, trying to keep himself from feeling too embarrassed. "right. can we hold hands while we sleep then?" he asked, acting as if he had found a loophole.

"now who's touchy?" you joked, hurting your stomach from the laughter but finding that it was worth it.

"ha-ha," he mocked. "very funny, y/n," he groaned.

"yes, darling," you joked once more. "of course we can hold hands while we sleep."

and you did.

and for the first night in a week, you slept peacefully.

taglist:

@averyhotchner

@greenprisca

@muffin-cup

@emilyprentisslittlewhore

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer x you #spencer x y/n #mgg fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg fic #y/n

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mental-health-advice · 2 years

Note

Hi,,

so I’m 16,, and for the past few months (since around June) I’ve been struggling with pocd. At first I got the thoughts and gronial responses/arousal and had no idea what they meant - this freaked me out and until I eventually found out what they were, before that I was unable to eat/sleep and practically half-starved myself 😭,, once I found out what pocd was I calmed down instantly and was happy again. Since then it makes the occasional return - and I find with each return it tends to get more difficult cause I know more about it thanks to research and my mind constantly jumps to other questions - like did you have these thoughts before,, how did you react to this before?? What are your actual morals?? Do you have any morals? what if this what if that,, what if this is sm you can’t decide on,, like being gay? I’m numbed to the thoughts at this point,, which makes me both pleased and depressed. Then I worry about the fact that I’ll feel suddenly sad when I don’t get the thoughts anymore - did I find these thoughts enjoyable unknowingly??!! Recently I’ve mainly been struggling with constant gronial responses/ arousal,, idk if this is just my hormones going nuts or wht,,, It’s annoying as hell and I don’t want to act on this for fear of the thoughts returning or even worse me potentially enjoying them. I hate that I don’t stress / feel instantly horrified when I get them anymore and worry if this means I’m now enjoying them. What if I was secretly always enjoying them and am just in denial. I constantly am in this mixed state of not knowing who I am/what my sexuality is/what I really want. I used to identify quite happily as bisexual- but this has set me back by so much. I hate that I can no longer feel aroused when I want to,, and then as soon as I don’t want to feel aroused I feel aroused. Plus it’s triggered so easily. Have my preferences just changed?? I feel confused and depressed constantly. I worry about not worrying,, then I worry that I’m faking this worry... idk what to do. I can eat now but I struggle with sleeping for fear of the thoughts popping up in my sleep. Rn my mind constantly tells me that I’d enjoy the thoughts if I just let them happen - but I don’t want them to happen I want this all to go away and I want to be normal again. Even as I’m writing this more questions r popping up,, Rn I feel guilty and depressed,, i feel very numb. I’m seeing a therapist in 2 weeks but that just feels so far away. Any tips??? Sorry abt how messy this is but I just have a lot to get off my chest. Ik that asking for reassurance/ talking to people abt this is another compulsion of mine,, as is research so it’s probably bad that I’m asking for help rn,,, 😭😭

Hey there,

It sounds as though you are feeling very overwhelmed right now with thoughts and quite a lot of questions! Hopefully I will be able to be of some help or at least just reassuring you that I am listening and that you don’t have to struggle through this alone!

In regards to your POCD, I am glad that you know more about it now but it must be difficult each time it pops up, being slightly worse than the time before. Some helpful tips for POCD that may be helpful for you to think about or maybe even give a try is the following:

Managing your stress levels and practicing good self-care – including getting adequate sleep each night

Managing your anxiety, so going through possible scenarios and how they may turn out including worst case scenario and thinking about possible better actions you could do

Practice relaxation and mindfulness techniques

Getting regular exercise to help with regulating your thoughts better and thinking more clearer

In terms of your sexuality, I know that it can be confusing but there is no time limit to when you have to decide as what you best identify as. And not only this, it is also OK to change what you identify with over time as well. So I guess what I am trying to say is that you don’t need to worry about this stuff right now. Try and take a big breath and remind yourself that you don’t have to figure all this stuff out yet! We do have a page though that may be helpful for you to check out! You can check it out by clicking here.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #POCD #sexuality

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doodlebloo · 3 years

Note

yoooooo!!! the c!clingyduo songs are I T rn omg!!!! im absolutely vibrating everyone has E x c e l l e n t taste!! not to be annoying cause ik theres a L o t but, a few more c!clingyduo staples i listen to a lot:

All I Want by Kodaline (“its alright. hey its okay, all good things must come to an end eventually.” but also like. exile. a h)

Burning House by Cam (particularly doomsday and disc war finale vibes imo)

Running Up That Hill by Meg Myers (i cannot express enough how “this is checkmate.” this song is)

Painkillers by Rainbow Kitten Suprise (cw unalive themes, but it Gives c!tubbo imo)

My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift (prison arc….. c!tommy……..)

Factories by Autoheart (gives me very big c!tommy vibes esp after exile? part of this is also how the song Sounds too to be fair absbdbd)

Anchor by Roland Faunte (okay okay but yknow the community house fight?? and the thing where c!tommy was like “ive become worse than everyone ive ever hated” cause this is T h a t)

Wait For Me Reprise from the Hadestown Soundtrack (“who am i without you?” “yourself”)

also this is all platonic! any romance themes in here are ignored, i completely forgot that thats a thing absbdbbd love comes in so many forms!!! im so sorry this is so many feel free to ignore them but i got excited!

hope youre doing well and having fun!

-manon

*Quackity voice* Thank you I am having fun because I'm sexy and awesome and super cool and sexy and awesome

Also ik none of y'all mean this in a romantic way lol I'm not in the business of assuming the worst of ppl. If you think it's only ok to say "I Love You" to your s/o and not to ANYONE else (family friends hell even your pets) you may want to. Reexamine a bit. Love is everywhere <3

(Tho there is obvi some romantic stuff in some of the songs, I've just been cutting it out and taking the /nr quotes I like kind of like web weaving :) )

Ahh yes the classic Missing You song.... The Dream SMP really did create these characters who were joined at the hip and would have done anything for each other and then purposefully separate them huh 😭

NOOO Please.... The Nightmares ueueueueu

"You don't want to hurt me" I'M SO O(-(..........

"Faith stays young till your heart gets broken" they have been thru SO MUCH...

AND IF IM DEAD TO YOU WHY ARE YOU AT THE WAKE.............

STOP bc we never talk abt how Tommy would sleepwalk into the ocean... Someone back in Dec made the hc that he was sleepwalking towards L'Manberg, idk if that even holds up in canon like direction-wise but I've always been in love w that idea

PLEASE ok the comparison of "I am the hero I am the villain of this fairytale" to Tommy telling Techno he doesn't want to be the hero to Tommy telling Tubbo he feels more like the sidekick... MAN.

And the Hadestown song would be pretty cool for an animatic I can kind of like picture it in my head yk?

Ty for your musical wisdom manon :)

#asks #manon

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physcoticfrog · 4 years

Note

heyo! i'm new to your blog but i've found your writings amazing! may i reguest the soulmate au "The voice inside your head is your soulmate's" with the sfw prompt "Look, I don't know you very well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone" for Itona Horibe? Thank you so much in advance 💝!

AHHH IM SO HAPPY TO GET A SOULMATE ASK

Ahh itona ✋😺 I love that man lemme just say that rn. (AND LISTEN IK I HAVE A FIC TO WORK ON BUT IM LAZY)

Pairing: Itona Horibe x reader

Prompts: Soulmate au where the voice inside your head is your soulmate's, "Look, I don't know you very well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone."

Warnings: Slight mentions of parental abuse

This week seemed like a very chaotic week. But then again, when were they not? You managed to gain a new classmate, and not only did he have a really fucked up life, he was hot. But did that really mean anything?

You thought of your mother and father. They already reprimanded you enough as it was for being in the E class. Not only that, but if you were ever late, you would get a long lecture. They weren't ever going to allow you to even have a boyfriend.

You were woken up by Terasaka. "Hey dumbass, wake up. Class is over." He deadpanned. You let out a harsh groan.

Next class was phys ed, and although you were good, it had never been your favorite. Especially when you're extremely tired.

You had also come to hate the fact that the voice in your head wasn't even your own. You always hated the idea of soulmates, but ignored it anyways.

"God damnit I hate this voice it's so annoying" you told Terasaka. It wasn't unusual for you to complain about it, and Terasaka was used to it.

He just rolled his eyes. "Come on, we gotta go." He said. You groaned again, but still reluctantly stood up.

When you got to phys ed, it was normal. But, Mr. Karasuma had decided to put you all in pairs. You got paired with Itona, the extremely hot and.. interesting one.

"Hey" you said.

"hi" he replied. Your eyes went wide. His voice. His is the ever so annoying one playing on loop inside of your head.

You had heard him talk before, but why are you just now noticing it? You didn't pay it much attention, and immediately just started going in for the attack as if it would make the class go by faster.

Unfortunately for you, Itona was incredibly fast. He dodged your attack with ease, not even flinching. He then grabbed your arm and had you pinned.

You huffed. "Fuck", you spoke, "how are you so fast?" You heaved out. You might've known had you been out the other night, but your parents had alarms on every window and door in the house.

He didn't even answer you, and let you go as Mr. Karasuma said that class was over. But, you were just glad to get a break.

After mulling it over, you decided to skip. Luckily for you, you had already picked out a place that is pretty much flat.

So, you walked away and climbed up the tree, and played down on one of it's unnaturally flat branches.

As you lay asleep, you realized that Itona had never, not even slightly, acknowledged the voices you two shared. After a while, you heard everyone leaving to go home. Had you really managed to miss 3 different class periods over a nap?

When you got home, you immediately felt your mother's gaze move to you. She seems livid. "Why are you home late?" Your mom spoke through her teeth. That cause you to look at the time. 3:07. Two minutes late.

"I- I'm sorry", you muttered and bowed, "I did not intend to be late home today." You stated, trying to lace sincerity into your voice.

Your mother crouched down in front of you, smilingly a sickly sweet kind of smile. "It's ok pumpkin, we are never going to do that again, right?" She said, almost too sweet.

"right." You answered. You knew there was no right answer to this. You held your breath.

"You're wrong.", she stated, angry and gripping your shoulder, "You have never once changed this behavior. I will not believe you until things change." She said, borderline yelling. Her grip tightened on your shoulder, causing her to hit a pressure point and you passed out.

When you woke up the next day, you immediately left for school. You brought your uniform but were still in your pajamas. You climbed up the mountain, entered the building and made your way towards the bathroom. Hazama looked at you weird.

"don't ask." You stated at her. She then threw her hands up and went into the classroom.

Once you got changed you looked into the mirror. You looked like shit. The bags under your eyes were more noticable than ever, and your eyelids felt so heavy like they could collapse any minute.

You eventually moved your pajamas into your bag and went to class.

As soon as you walked in, everyone took notice for your crappy state. "Y/n, are you doing ok?" Karma asked you. You were honestly surprised, it wasn't like him to ask anyone if they're alright.

But, you let it slide and smiled. "Yeah! I'm doing great, don't worry about me." You laughed as you scratched the back of your neck.

Class went by like a blur, and you didn't even notice. You honestly were zoned out the entire time and didn't even remember anything Koro-Sensei said.

You got up and walked out, but decided to go to your tree. You were definitely going to regret it when you got home, but that's a story for another day.

And Itona's voice? You didn't even know how to start going about that.

As you lay down, you started falling asleep. How long? You really didn't know. "Hey, Ritsu?"

"Yes?" She responded.

"Can you wake me up at 4:30?" You asked her.

"Yes I can!" She said sweetly. It was so kind, not a sickly or bitter kind of sweet like your mom. And there was no anger like your dad.

You were passed out. It was crazy how easily you slept on that tree. You, unfortunately, were startled awake.

You almost fell out of the tree, but someone grabbed onto you. "I'm sorry, I just heard your phone playing some sort of alarm sound, so I came to check it out." It was Itona.

You put up your casual and shy facade, "Oh! Thank you, I'm sorry." You laughed out.

He made a face of disbelief and concern. "Are you ok?" He questioned.

You smiled, "why wouldn't I be?"

He frowned at that, "Y/n, you came into school today in pajamas." He deadpanned. Your smile faded.

"Oh! That, yeah I was in a bit of a rush because I woke up late." You then became panicked. "Oh no. Oh no." You repeated. You chanted it like a prayer.

"I have to go. It was nice talking to you, Itona." You tried leaving, but he grabbed your arm. When you looked back at him, he had an expression of extreme seriousness.

"Look, I don't know you very well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone." He stated.

"I- Itona, thank you so much. And I get that we're soulmates and all, but I really need to get back home." And then you froze. You just told him you were soulmates. Yeah, he probably knew, but he hasn't said anything about it.

He also froze. "I- I'm sorry? We're what now?" He questioned.

You rolled your eyes. "Have you not noticed? Have you not realized that the voice in your head is mine?" You stated.

His eyes then widened. "Yeah. I seriously have to go now. Thanks for your concern." You told him. However, his grip on your arm didn't falter. " Itona, let me go."

"No. I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's going on." He told you. And although his face was unreadable, his voice was filled with worry.

You sighed. "If I tell you, will you please let go of me?"

He nodded. You decided to be as vague as you possibly could. "My home life isn't all that great, and I'm also super stressed out about the whole soulmates thing." That seemed pretty vague, right? "Now will you please let me go."

His grip loosened, and you moved away from him. "Um.. since we're soulmates and all. Do you.. maybe want to give this- us- a try?" You hesitated though. Your parents would be furious, but who are they to decide if you get to date your own soulmate?

You nodded. "Yeah.. let's give us a try." You jumped down the tree and then sprinted back home while trying to prepare yourself for what was to come.

---

A/n: Alright! Not my favorite thing I've ever done, and I'm sorry that this took me a while. But uhh yeah! I did my best 😅 I really hope you like it.

#ass class writer #assasination classroom #assassination classroom writer #ass class #ass class x reader #assassination classroom x reader #itona horibe #Itona x reader #itona horibe x reader

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hiimsociallyawkward · 3 years

Text

the wicked day

hey guys. i'm back with my random and annoying merlin thoughts. i should be studying for my bio quiz, but yk- i don't want to :,) love you @lady-ofmagic-andstars✨enjoy✨

literally every time i'm going watching i'm going to comment on john hurt that says young man instead of young boy

it's so subtle but wow. thanks i didn't need to be hurt so early on in the episode

i know i know i'm basically a child but this is so exciting

merlin is so cute

aw no not arthur being pouty abt his big birthday

I LOVE THE 'i heard that' thing so much. i love it i love it

off topic, but i love knife throwing. i've always thought that if i had to choose a weapon that's not a gun, i'd choose knifes. swords? maces? crossbows? sure. but knives?? that's where it's really at

i love arthur not wanting to overburden their citizens

ok uther? i hate him

but here? i love him

he's a good dad here. remembering arthur's birthday? that's so sweet. uther in season 4 is the only time i semi like him

AW ARTHUR AND UTHER AT DINNER

i love them

off topic but i like that arthur is wearing his 'every day' clothes, jacket and a tunic under his cape. that's it. the knights are all wearing his garb but arthur is just wearing his 'regular clothes'

hehe gwen being nervous about arthur being on the wheel is so sweet

idk why but i always get nervous at that last knife.

like of COURSe i know he's not going to get hit but it's scary.

the 'not wearing any trousers' thing omg. bbc really decided to do that

i wish we had more of this parental dynamic of arthur and uther

dam alright arthur. being out of it but still being in it enough to see the guy in the reflection? i stan

SKLFJASLDFJA uther fighting to protect arthur

literally me through his whole scene going 'oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez' on repeat.

so off topic but i kind of like the hairstyle they have for most of the guys in this show?? idk is that weird

oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez uther dying

like, i HATe him. i've been waiting for this since season 1 but this scene makes me sad

ok i don't remember the last episode of merlin so i forget what arthur says when he's dying in merlin's arms??

it's something like 'hold me' right? i feel like that has the same energy as 'stay with me' so while i can't exactly say this is sort of parallel, it's sort of parallel?

i mean, ok 1. dying in someone else's arms. 2. dying in the arms of someone you love? romantically, platonically, familial? doesn't matter. both uther and arthur died in the arms of someone they loved. 3. i'm just gonna say 'hold me' and 'stay with me' have the SAME energy, so if no one has called semi-parallels, i'm calling semi-parallels

bradley's single tear

stfu agarvaine. i'm serious. legit everytime he shows up i wanna pow pow pow him

legit. agaravaine needs to get away from morgana.

DO NOT GRAB HER ARM MISTER. LET GO OF HER

I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HER. LET GO OF HER RN

i've said it once and i'll say it again, i love gwen

not to romanticize death or anything but i like candle light vigils.

ok maybe slightly symbolic but probably not? ok actually i think it is, not to toot my own horn but this is also just really straightforward too.

arthur wearing 'street garb' and his 'knight stuff' sort of differentiates between 'arthur' and 'prince arthur'. the scene where merlin and arthur are looking over the vigil and merlin's talking about how there's nothing that can be done, and arthur mentions using magic, i may be off about this but i feel like he's speaking more from prince arthur rather than arthur, uther is my father.

like of course arthur's hurting, everyone knows he's hurting. but idk. i feel like he feels like he's not ready to be king. he needs more time, and he can't be king yet. so therefore, prince arthur is talking about needing to save their king.

gaius and merlin are both right here. idk what else to say.

wow merlin 'you can't stop me' love that

jeez 'maybe this is my chance to change that' little do you know what's happening soon merlin.

oh shoot.

arthur asking merlin if he would use magic to save his father? i'm just thinking back to merlin crying, but not crying over balinor because he couldn't tell arthur, and merlin having to mourn his father in secret. vs. arthur, asking merlin for advice. sharing all his worries and insecurities with gwen. begging gaius to do something more for his father. this just makes me so sad

arthur TRUSTING merlin. with everything. taking merlin's opinion on things and aw

this is dumb but tbh i really like merlin's outfit. like tbh i think i dress in the same sort of style, just ✨modern✨ sadly, no neckerchief for me but i do have a necklace that says 'heather' despite my name being 'ashley'. ily conan gray

ugh. arthur calling merlin a coward but also calling him brave?? you need to pick a side arthur

LMAO ARTHUR STOP THINKING ABOUT WATCHING MERLIN PEE

bruh arthur breaking the vase. it's so dumb but merlin referring to the vase over and over actually makes me chuckle

ok merlin going 'you have come to kill me?' reminds me of another show but i can't remember but i thought i'd put it out here anyways

oh shoot i just realized/remember that uther got stabbed on arthur's birthday. hell of a gift am i right 😭

hehe arthur 'sweeping' with the broom. silly goose

dragoon sounds so vulnerable asking for the right to use magic freely

i love you arthur. this scene, i'm like YES. arthur i love him

i love the saying 'my word'. like, i don't want people to promise me anything anymore. i want them to give me their word.

HAHA THIS IS SO DUMB. MERLIN SAYING 'QUESTIONS. SO MANY QUESTIONS'. I LITERALLY SAY IT WITH THE SHOW EVERY TIME. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME

aw arthur just sitting there with the cup and trying not to break it HAHA he's so sweet. slightly scared after that vase yk what i mean

ok i don't like morgana and everything but that necklace? that's a stroke of genius. yes girl. make up the plan as you go along

frick you agarvaine. do not scare gwen you PERV

jeez agarvainewas SO rude putting that necklace onto uther. like yes, ik you don't like him but STILL. that's just rude

i'm going to start calling people toads now

hehe arthur closing his door and merlin being right there. it's not necessarily a trope but it totally is and i love it

ah yes. merlin and the tavern. i feel like it's been referred to before but it's still funny.

ok ik arthur carrying merlin is there for kicks for the kids but i laughed anyways

apparently i have the humor of a 10 year old

this is really dumb but the scene with arthur and the two guards. i'm just thinking 'how tall are these guards'. ofc ik that the staging/perception could be doing something that might be making arthur look shorter, but my first reaction was 'bradley is 6' just how tall are these guards??'

merlin's speech about magic makes me sad

aw 'i hope, one day, that you'll see me in a different light'

dragoon has the same effect on arthur as merlin does

uther waking up 😭

AW. UTHER'S LITTLE SIGH AND THEN 'ARTHUR' BREAK MY HEART COVEY. BREAK IT A THOUSAND TIMES.

they're both so happy. this makes me so sad now. oh jeez. oh jeez. oh jeez

oh jeez oh jeez merlin's expression. AW merlin gave arthur his word. oh jeez this is very stressful and i'm only watching this

ok obviously. merlin doesn't want to see arthur in pain. but ALSO this was merlin's chance to change things once and for all. and now uther is dead. #no liam just payne

arthur's face post crying. skf;aldjfa;ldk AW

frick you agarvaine. literally die. i can't wait for merlin to kill you

i think this scene is pretty. the light on the left and the dark on the right? ok actually, i'm going to be making an off base comparison now because that's all i do.

i'm remembering this post i saw on here and it was like, arthur uther and morgana in the throne room. in order of the way they sit in the throne room, first it's arthur, uther, and then morgana

well. the really dumb and off base comparison here is the 'light' goodness of arthur and the 'dark' evil of morgana being mirrored in the picture above.

'light', bravery, doing what's right- being on the left. 'dark', evil, power on the right- and arthur in the middle of it, king

like i said, it's a dumb off base comparison, but at least the picture is pretty

oh jeez this scene

my heart breaks for both of them

merlin not being able to form a sentence at first.

😭😭😭😭 arthur please. you're breaking everyone's heart right now

you already knew i had to include this scene

arthur walking in there all alone

oh jeez he's all alone

dumb parallel number 2. arthur walking into the throne room with uther, father and son. merlin and gaius closing the door for arthur- pseudo father and pseudo son.

'he'll never know who i really am'

i want to do a DEH post soon but jeez. the line that hits hardest for me in DEH is 'i never let them see the worst of me. cause what if everyone saw? what if everyone knew? would they like what they saw? or would they hate it too? and jeez that's all i can think about when i think about merlin and his secrets

again. no liam, just payne

asldkfja;sldkfjas dlf merlin waiting for arthur

i have so many feelings

i love the show of affections for his father. you already know that uther wasn't affectionate when arthur was growing up, but still. forehead kiss? i love it

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FEEL THAT YOU WERE ALONE. i hate this and love this so much. i'm not saying merlin is completely selfless, because merlin wants magic to be leagalized and arthur is the way to do that. but omg merlin not wanting for arthur to feel like he's alone breaks me

first, merlin being physically alone while waiting for arthur. arthur was technically alone too, but he was with his father

but also, merlin being alone in the sense of his magic. no one knows except for gaius. lancelot knew and then they killed him. merlin is so alone when it comes to his magic, and morgana's enchantment only pushes merlin into his 'magic shell' more. arthur thinks magic is pure evil, and merlin is made of magic. what does that mean would think of arthur. this hurts me so much i'm so sad

friend 😭

arthur asking if he's hungry and them getting breakfast together

ok this sound track

pendragon red. i actually stan

gwen wearing a purple dress?? color symbolism?? nah i'm over thinking

ASIFA;SDLFJAD HE'S KING OF CAMELOT

IT'S LIKE I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE I'M SO PROUD RIGHT NOW.

oh jeez oh jeez.

and merlin saying 'long live the king' at the end of the episode?

chills

Anyways! I’ll be back next week to rant more about aithusa so I’ll see you then! thanks I love you bye

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kurooskorner · 4 years

Note

hihi angie i wanna take part in the minigameee🥺👉🏻👈🏻may i have a haikyuu/bnha pairing🥺👉🏻👈🏻 my parents are kind of chill, but more my dad? djjdjs they like to annoy me in their own ways, my dad would just randomly call me even if he doesn't need anything and my mom likes to smother me in kisses they like to pile up in my bed and cuddle me my dad is more lenient but that's because most of the authority belongs to my mom hehdkwk she's cool with me going out sometimes but not having sleepovers (ive never had one ☹️💔) they don't ask for good grades but they want me to at least pass for my own sake😞🤙🏻

here's a hughug for you🥺💛✨☀️ #KODZUKNNLUVSANGIE

ma'am your parents sound amazing, we love them!

hmmm this one is kinda tough but I think your pairing overall would be bokuto (omg angie gave a bokuto pairing? that's so rare. ik ik! hear me out) your parents seem like very affectionate and loving people, just by what you told me I think you'd definitely seek that (i may be wrong but I hope I'm not) so you'd be drawn to bokuto because he is naturally an affectionate significant other! we can all agree he is nerve wrecking nervous, like he will literally make YOU nervous and they're YOUR parents like why are you nervous lmaoooo anyways so yeah but once they meet, I can assure you they'll definitely let him into the family with open arms and smiles on their faces!

also literally come over we will have a sleepover rn

#ask angie🐰#mini games #angie loves kodzuknn

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angelofthequeers · 4 years

Text

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Basically just my way of covering episodes I didn’t want to write but also wanted to establish XD

Chapter 31 | Chapter 33 | AO3 link

[9:23 pm] Chat Noir has joined miraculass.

Chat Noir: heh

Chat Noir: nice chat name

Chat Noir: didn’t know you had it in you foxy

Rena Rouge: i’ll actually ban you

Chat Noir: :(

Chat Noir: say sike rn

Rena Rouge: don’t test me

[9:28 pm] Carapace has joined miraculass.

Rena Rouge: hey shellhead

Carapace: would’ve thought we’d be more mature

Carapace: yk since we’re superheroes n all

Rena Rouge: hey

Rena Rouge: if i didn’t do it

Rena Rouge: chat would’ve

Chat Noir: you wound me

**Chat Noir: **but you’re right

**Chat Noir: **just don’t tell lb or she’ll have my arse

Rena Rouge: you know she can just scroll up when she joins right

Chat Noir: FUCK

[9:52 pm] Ladybug_ _has joined miraculass.

Ladybug: very mature, whoever named the chat

Rena Rouge: skdhfsojsaljfs;dlsa;ldjwjkhdfladybug

Rena Rouge: sorry autocorrect

Carapace: a likely excuse

Rena Rouge: it was chat

Chat Noir: le what

**Chat Noir: **i've been framed

Chat Noir: scroll up lb

Ladybug: both Chat and Rena are banned

Rena Rouge: >:|

Chat Noir: noooooo

Carapace: is it too late to give back the miraculous?

**Rena Rouge: **hey

Chat Noir: :(

Ladybug: yes, it is

Ladybug: you can’t leave me with the furries

Chat Noir: i’m not a furry :|

Rena Rouge: i resemble that remark

Carapace: you kinda r dude

Carapace: you literally run around in a black leather catsuit

Chat Noir: you come into my house

[9:59 pm] Carapace set Chat Noir’s name to furry noir.

furry noir: >:|

Rena Rouge: PFFT

[10:00 pm] Carapace set Rena Rouge’s name to what does the fox say.

furry noir: PFFT

what does the fox say: JFC

what does the fox say: i will find you

**what does the fox say: **and i will shove my flute

Ladybug: PERFECT

**furry noir: **i think you mean

Ladybug: don’t you dare

furry noir: purrfect

Ladybug: >:|

furry noir: 0:)

what does the fox say: oh come on now i can’t even finish my threat

what does the fox say: just wait till i name you shellhead

[10:01 pm] Carapace set their name to mess w turt u get hurt.

what does the fox say: istg

furry noir: bro

furry noir: i think i love you

mess w turt u get hurt: ew no

mess w turt u get hurt: ladybug save me from the furry

Ladybug: I’ll tell on you

furry noir: lol

furry noir: you think you scare me

Ladybug: no

Ladybug: but you-know-who does

furry noir: D:

what does the fox say: !!!!!

what does the fox say: wHO

Ladybug: inside joke

Ladybug: nvm

what does the fox say: :(

furry noir: omg

furry noir: ladybug you’re bi right

Ladybug: uh, yeah

what does the fox say: we had that freebie convo remember

mess w turt u get hurt: wait what

[10:04 pm] furry noir set Ladybug’s name to ladyBIrd.

ladyBIrd: I swear to god

ladyBIrd: thanks, now my kwami won’t stop laughing

furry noir: :)

ladyBIrd: this is so unfair

ladyBIrd: she’s supposed to be on my side

furry noir: at least yours sides w you sometimes

what does the fox say: and i thought trixx could be a little shit

mess w turt u get hurt: man i’m glad wayzz is chill

furry noir: :(

ladyBIrd: nope, I can’t do this

ladyBIrd: I can’t handle that name popping up every time I get a notification

[10:07 pm] ladyBIrd set furry noir’s name to catitude.

catitude: :D

what does the fox say: k cool i’ll keep this ancient relic name

ladyBIrd: only from like 2013, it’s not that old

mess w turt u get hurt: man i feel old when i remember those days

what does the fox say: stfu

what does the fox say: you named me you don’t get to regret

chat noir: don’t regretti the spaghetti

[10:20 pm]

catitude: guys?

[10:32 pm]

catitude: i see how it is

[10:35 pm] direct messages

Ladybug: hey

Ladybug: you know we’re not actually mad at your joke, right?

Chat Noir: yeah ik

Chat Noir: i’ll get yelled at if you’re actually mad

Ladybug: :(

Ladybug: no, you won’t

Ladybug: just a stern talking-to

Ladybug: unless you sacrifice yourself for me or something

Chat Noir: oof

Chat Noir: you’re still mad bout zombizou?

Ladybug: and Dark Cupid

Ladybug: and Timebreaker

Ladybug: I mean, I know I’m the only one who can purify akumas

Ladybug: but jfc

Chat Noir: sorry

Chat Noir: i just

Chat Noir: it’s not like i’m trying to play the hero yk?

Chat Noir: it’s just like

Chat Noir: i don’t want to get zombified or dusted or whatevs

Chat Noir: and it’s not like chivalry or whatever protect the lady bullshit

Chat Noir: i just know that you’re the only one who can fix everything

Chat Noir: and you’ll bring me back

Ladybug: yeah but

Ladybug: it doesn’t make watching you get killed or brainwashed any easier

Ladybug: and I can’t exactly see a therapist or something

Ladybug: because secret identities and all that

Chat Noir: :(

Chat Noir: i wanna say i promise not to throw myself in front of you

Chat Noir: but i can’t promise that

Ladybug: I know

Ladybug: I just

Ladybug: I can’t talk to anyone about it

Ladybug: except for you

Ladybug: and one of these days, everything’s going to get to me

Ladybug: and I’m just going to explode

Ladybug: fuck, I’m only 15

Chat Noir: oof

Chat Noir: same

Chat Noir: about the age thing

Chat Noir: and about the can’t tell anyone else thing

Chat Noir: my father’s kind of a dick so

Ladybug: :(

Chat Noir: but all i want is his approval

Chat Noir: like fuck do i have to scrape out my soul and turn myself into a robot to make him happy

Chat Noir: sorry

Chat Noir: didn’t mean to explode

Ladybug: don’t apologise

Ladybug: seriously

Ladybug: we’re in this together

Chat Noir: <3

Ladybug: <3

Chat Noir: why milady are you flirting with me

Chat Noir: whatever would marinette say

Ladybug: buzz off

Chat Noir: wrong miraculous :)

Ladybug: I’ll ask Rena to ban you

Chat Noir: actually

Chat Noir: should we ask her to give us mod power instead of her

Chat Noir: yk cause we’re the ogs

Ladybug: well, I don’t think Rena would abuse her power

Ladybug: and she is the tech whiz out of us

Ladybug: maybe just get her to give us mod power too

Chat Noir: tru tru

Chat Noir: i should go to bed

Chat Noir: but like

Chat Noir: i get to talk to you

Chat Noir: whenever I want

Ladybug: <3

Ladybug: go to bed, kitty

Ladybug: you can talk to me whenever you want, so I’ll still be here when you wake up

Chat Noir: k

Chat Noir: night bugaboo <3

Ladybug: night, kitty <3

[9:02 am] miraculass

ladyBIrd: oh, by the way

ladyBIrd: rules

ladyBIrd: don’t say anything that could give identities away

catitude: duh

ladyBIrd: and don’t abuse pings

what does the fox say: omg thank god

what does the fox say: i legit left a chat cause someone kept @ing us

what does the fox say: all the time

mess w turt u get hurt: so like only for emerg?

ladyBIrd: yep

ladyBIrd: or if you really need to get our attention

catitude: btw rena

catitude: knight us

what does the fox say: wut

ladyBIrd: he means

ladyBIrd: please give me and Chat mod powers

what does the fox say: k

what does the fox say: can i still be mod

ladyBIrd: sure, you’re the one who knows how to work this

what does the fox say: fuck yeah

mess w turt u get hurt: hello darkness my old friend

what does the fox say: suck it shellhead >:)

mess w turt u get hurt: you wanna go furry?

ladyBIrd: thank god it’s Saturday

ladyBIrd: I’m still in bed

what does the fox say: lmfao

what does the fox say: sounds like my bff

what does the fox say: she’s always late

ladyBIrd: >:|

catitude: i know who you’re talking about

catitude: and may i just say

catitude: bitch

what does the fox say: <3

mess w turt u get hurt: cool

mess w turt u get hurt: not like i’m here or anythin

ladyBIrd: I hope you’re nicer to your best friend than Rena is to hers

what does the fox say: hey

mess w turt u get hurt: fuckin duh

catitude: :)

mess w turt u get hurt: :)?

catitude: ¯_(ツ)_/¯

what does the fox say: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ladyBIrd: Donkey!

what does the fox say: jkasdosdcpdskcsklandkjehfu

mess w turt u get hurt: omg

catitude: marry me milady

ladyBIrd: ew, no thanks

catitude: :(

catitude: how could this happen to me

catitude: i made my mistakes

what does the fox say: can i just say

what does the fox say: being in a gc with lb and cn

what does the fox say: is the only thing i’ve wanted from life

mess w turt u get hurt: i thought you said you had a bf

what does the fox say: eh

what does the fox say: he’ll get over it

mess w turt u get hurt: i mean

mess w turt u get hurt: tbf my gf would live thru me if she knew

what does the fox say: i love the sound of her

mess w turt u get hurt: !!!!!

mess w turt u get hurt: wait till i tell her what a superhero said

mess w turt u get hurt: rip to her

catitude: is this the sound of getting along i hear? :D

what does the fox say: hell no

mess w turt u get hurt: hell no

what does the fox say: scuse me mr copycat

catitude: that brings back memories

mess w turt u get hurt: uh obvs i was typing before you

what does the fox say: think you need to get your eyes checked shellhead

ladyBIrd: ANYWAY

ladyBIrd: you know you can’t tell her about this, right?

mess w turt u get hurt: :|

mess w turt u get hurt: ugh forgot

mess w turt u get hurt: anyway rena you’re annoying but you’re ok

what does the fox say: yea you’re mildly tolerable too

catitude: aww :D

what does the fox say: stfu

[10:35 am] miraculass

ladyBIrd: @everyone akuma

what does the fox say: no shit really

mess w turt u get hurt: guess max wasn’t lying bout markov having feelings :/

catitude: i’m just about to transform

catitude: cu on the flipside

ladyBIrd: same

what does the fox say: can we help

ladyBIrd: yes please

ladyBIrd: I’ve never seen a non-human akuma before

what does the fox say: i’m surprised chloe even tried to help

what does the fox say: like told ms m that she was being ridiculous

what does the fox say: then went after marinette to mr d’s office to help get markov back

mess w turt u get hurt: maybe she’s really changing

mess w turt u get hurt: ugh my gf keeps texting someone but she still noticed me trying to get away

what does the fox say: rip

what does the fox say: my bf is trying to ditch me

what does the fox say: i mean k i need to get away to transform

what does the fox say: but he’s being sus

what does the fox say: nvm i ducked into bathroom

what does the fox say: let him keep his secrets

mess w turt u get hurt: just got away from gf gonna turn now

what does the fox say: same with bf

ladyBIrd: just hurry and transform before Mendeleiev falls

ladyBIrd: also this is killing me

what does the fox say: ????

ladyBIrd: nvm

ladyBIrd: inside joke

what does the fox say: >:|

[12:03 pm] miraculass

ladyBIrd: good job, guys

mess w turt u get hurt: poor max

what does the fox say: i’m glad he turned markov back on

catitude: same

catitude: but uh

catitude: we’re gonna be late back to class if we don’t hurry

what does the fox say: SHIT

[6:48 pm] miraculass

ladyBIrd: so

ladyBIrd: interesting fact

what does the fox say: ?????

ladyBIrd: we talked to the guy who gave our Miraculouses

ladyBIrd: he said that HM wants them because the Ladybug and Black Cat combined lets you make a wish

catitude: like

catitude: any wish

catitude: whatev you want

mess w turt u get hurt: shit

what does the fox say: ugh so he’s after ultimate power

what does the fox say: typical

what does the fox say: can’t even be an interesting villain

mess w turt u get hurt: but like

mess w turt u get hurt: why don’t we use them and wish

ladyBIrd: yeah, I asked that

ladyBIrd: wishing has a price

what does the fox say: duh

mess w turt u get hurt: i’m gonna choose to ignore you bc serious business

catitude: yeah so if hawkass like wishes to bring someone back to life or something

catitude: someone else just as important gets dusted

ladyBIrd: equal exchange

ladyBIrd: and the universe shifts to accommodate that change

mess w turt u get hurt: oof

what does the fox say: shit

ladyBIrd: yeah

ladyBIrd: cause Chat and I are balance and all

ladyBIrd: hence why ours have that power

what does the fox say: but he’ll never get them

what does the fox say: cause like

what does the fox say: he’s not even a good bad guy

mess w turt u get hurt: rena has a point

mess w turt u get hurt: just same shit over again

what does the fox say: he never like makes an akuma to track miracs

what does the fox say: or make a stealth akuma to follow and see you turn back

mess w turt u get hurt: yeah he just makes weird akumas n prays they win

catitude: f for hawkmoth’s intelligence

ladyBIrd: let us be thankful he’s not that competent

[1:19 pm] miraculass

what does the fox say: oh btw

what does the fox say: happy 1 month anniv of this chat

catitude: you called?

what does the fox say: -_-

mess w turt u get hurt: shit has it been a month

ladyBIrd: and a month since you joined the team, Carapace!

mess w turt u get hurt: !!!!

mess w turt u get hurt: didn’t even realise

ladyBIrd: you and Rena were excellent choices

catitude: yeah you guys are pawsome heroes

what does the fox say: lasjddksfjsalkdsalfhjdksjsdladybugthankmarryme

what does the fox say: also stfu chat

catitude: :(

catitude: no one loves this poor cat

ladyBIrd: mhm

catitude: :(

mess w turt u get hurt: i’m here for u bro

catitude: bro

mess w turt u get hurt: bro

what does the fox say: welp

what does the fox say: f for shellhead’s gf

mess w turt u get hurt: hey you’d do lb so f for your bf

what does the fox say: i mean

catitude: called tf out lol

what does the fox say: banned

catitude: can’t

catitude: i’m irresistpawble

ladyBIrd: i’m telling on you

catitude: mmm whatcha say :(

what does the fox say: k srsly who is this person

ladyBIrd: nvm

what does the fox say: fine

what does the fox say: keep your secrets

[11:19 am] miraculass

ladyBIrd: SHITSHITSHITSHIT

ladyBIrd: ADRIEN NO

what does the fox say: chloe’s mum??? srsly???

ladyBIrd: @catitude where are you???

ladyBIrd: @catitude @catitude @catitude @catitude @catitude

ladyBIrd: I CAN’T TAKE ON STYLE QUEEN MYSELF

what does the fox say: lb

what does the fox say: hold on

[11:22 am] direct messages

Rena Rouge: hey

Rena Rouge: lb

Rena Rouge: maybe he’s not here yet

Ladybug: or maybe he got glittered!

Rena Rouge: well you don’t have to take on sq yourself

Rena Rouge: i’m here

Rena Rouge: so is carapace

Ladybug: nope

Ladybug: he got glittered too

Rena Rouge: oof

Rena Rouge: huh what are the chances of all 4 of us being here

Ladybug: i gotta transform

Ladybug: i thought chloe was doing better

Ladybug: she tried to help Marinette with Markov last week

Ladybug: but she’s sucking up to Style Queen

Rena Rouge: she could be playing sq

Rena Rouge: she’s got a boner for you remember

Ladybug: ew, no

Ladybug: just

Ladybug: transform

Rena Rouge: k

Rena Rouge: she’s gonna pay for hitting nino

Rena Rouge: and chat

Rena Rouge: and shellhead i guess

[12:04 pm] direct messages

Rena Rouge: WAS THAT CHAT’S KWAMI

Ladybug: yep

Ladybug: Plagg

Ladybug: don’t worry, first time meeting him for me too

Rena Rouge: i can’t believe he just

Rena Rouge: STAY AWAY FROM THE LADYBUG

Rena Rouge: that was adorable

Rena Rouge: and then i got glittered

Rena Rouge: still salty i missed the mass cataclysm

Ladybug: well, you were right about Chloe

Rena Rouge: yeah

Rena Rouge: getting glittered to save us from sq

Ladybug: I kind of feel sorry for her

Ladybug: realising that your mother won’t love you and doesn’t think you’re exceptional

Ladybug: it’s not an excuse but

Ladybug: I did talk to her a few months ago and she said it was like a switch being flipped

Rena Rouge: maybe u could talk to her again then

Rena Rouge: like

Rena Rouge: we don’t owe her anything

Rena Rouge: but if she stops being a bitch then our lives are better

Ladybug: true

Ladybug: she got Marinette to help her be better, you know

Rena Rouge: ew

Rena Rouge: why would mari do that after all the bullying

Ladybug: probably to make her life and everyone else’s lives easier

Rena Rouge: true

Ladybug: OH SHIT

Rena Rouge: um???

Rena Rouge: why does chloe have the bee??? and calling herself queen bee???

Ladybug: I DROPPED IT

Ladybug: I couldn’t think of anyone on such short notice but my Lucky Charm said so

Ladybug: I was gonna become Ladybee

Rena Rouge: wait you can use two???

Ladybug: yeah but it can be too much to handle

Ladybug: we needed to immobilise Style Queen

Ladybug: and I freaking DROPPED IT

Ladybug: I’m DEAD

Rena Rouge: well

**Rena Rouge: **that was a heck of a mental breakdown

Ladybug: I have to go after Chloe but my family won’t let me out of their sight :|

Rena Rouge: i’ll go

Rena Rouge: wait

Rena Rouge: where exactly are you??

Ladybug: secret identities >:|

Rena Rouge: right sorry

Rena Rouge: i just

Rena Rouge: force of habit

Rena Rouge: not that i ever would’ve exposed you

Ladybug: I know

Ladybug: I trust you

Rena Rouge: lsdkfpsdjcjsahfdsfjhnfdkjlkofkgimgay

Ladybug: Rena

Rena Rouge: right going

[1:37 pm] miraculass

mess w turt u get hurt: um

mess w turt u get hurt: so

mess w turt u get hurt: that happened

what does the fox say: fuckin chloe

ladyBIrd: I’m not judging her

ladyBIrd: like, her mother’s totally awful

ladyBIrd: but jfc I kind of wish I’d gotten another punch in

what does the fox say: still no excuse

catitude: yeah but the way her mum fucked her up on live tv

catitude: i kinda feel bad for her

ladyBIrd: at least she gave the Miraculous back

what does the fox say: fuckin hawkdick

what does the fox say: i could be helping my bff make a life changing choice

what does the fox say: but no i had to bust my arse on another akuma

mess w turt u get hurt: ugh why doesn’t hawkdick have a timer like us

ladyBIrd: because he’s an adult

ladyBIrd: apparently, adults don’t have the limits we do

mess w turt u get hurt: gdi

catitude: looks like no bee for now then

ladyBIrd: btw, Plagg told me details about all the anime you watch

catitude: FUCK

what does the fox say: EXPOSED

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #aotq fic #aotq: hold me #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #group chat #because i am weak #and love group chats #renapace rivalry #robostus #style queen #queen wasp

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korezlee · 4 years

Text

Does anybody like,,, get very embarrassed about stuff they like.

I mean IKKKKKK there are people out there and just about everyone has experienced being made fun of for what they like.

But for me it’s always just been self sabotaged. No one has ever outwardly been like “you’re annoying. Shut up. That’s annoying. That thing you like? Annoying.”

I’ve always been extremely self conscious about it, even when I would be anonymous online talking about things I like and I don’t know why.

I get stuck on things a lot longer and more intense than most people I think. I just feel like I can only focus on one thing primarily at a time, and I feel like I lose a lot of internet friends because of that.

I think it’s cool because my brain is stupid and is entertained easily when I do become obsessed with the THING but then I always feel too much and annoying to people that are more casual about it or may no longer like it as much.

So it’s good because I can concentrate a lot on one specific thing, but if I’m out of it, I can’t concentrate at all :|

I just feel kinda sad ig because I feel like I can never move on to the next thing that is entertaining that ik I would like. It just takes a long time to get into it, or I fall in love right away. It’s infuriating sometimes because I set myself up thinking that it’s bad that I get soooo into ONE thing.

And ig I mean by one thing rn is SuperMega, and it primarily has been for two years. But it also has been translated to drawing, but it feels different. Probably cause one thing is entertainment and the other is me trying to make a career out of it.

Like I havnt been heavily obsessed with one fandom/YouTuber for this long of a streak since I was 14-16 I think. (It was Steven universe lmaooo.)

This sounds like I’m trying to be like “boo hoo I’m so unique with hypervications” it just boggles my mind because I’ve never actually talked to someone irl about it and everyone ik is “normal” about liking things?!! Is that just me??

#RAMBLE #BIG TALK #no one will read this probably but that’s ok #just wanna put it out there anyways #lmao

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jjungmins-blog · 7 years

Text

husband beyond the world <pt 1>

(Ailee pov) my friends approached me as we went with our daily routine of going back to the dorm together like always. We were chatting about the amount of homework and the projects we had given by the teachers. or i would rather say– complaining.

“by the way, what are your topics for the individual project?” saerin, a friend of mine, questioned. “puppies!” “kitty cats,” my friends, jenie and saeron answered. “saeron-ah, i told you i’ll be doing kitty cats,” saerin said, glaring at saeron. “Well, i’ve already started on mine so you gotta find another topic then,” saerin sticked out her tongue at saeron while giggling. “aish! sometimes i wish we weren’t even related from the start,” saeron sighed and rolled her eyes, annoyed at saerin but she was too busy giggling to even notice.

“what about you, ailee?” jenie asked me. i turned towards her direction and smiled sheepishly. “yeah what about you? anything extra ordinary you wanna talk about this time?” saerin asked. “graves,” i replied. jenie and saerin started laughing. “graves? really?” saeron asked, in a mocking way. “what’s wrong i mean, its quite an interesting thing to talk about,” i said. “like what?” they questioned me. “i’ll say during the presentation,” i said and smirked. “ahhh~ ailee~ come on~,” the begged me. i just shook my head and let out a laughter. ~~~ (Jennie pov)

incoming call (ayelilee)

accept call decline call

“jen are you free rn,” “you can’t buy me i’m too expensive,” “ -.-# not that way i mean are you busy?” “not really, why?” “right, i’ll come over in 20,” “wait what?”

call ended

what the heck? at 11:47 pm? where is this girl bringing me to at almost midnight? why is she coming over to my room for? ugh, wherever she’s bringing me to better be somewhere comfortable. the last time she did that she brought me to a convienience shop because she was craving for the melon icecream they sold.

a knock on my door was soon heard. “yah where are–” my mouth was covered and my voice was muffled. ‘shh’ she signalled as she put her finger over her mouth, telling me to quiet down. i nodded and she released her hand from my mouth. she pulled my hand towards the door of the dorm that we’re in. we exited and hailed for a taxi. “xx cemetery please,” she said.

“yah what are you doing!? cemetery? at almost midnight? are you serious?” i questioned her. “i told you i wasn’t kidding,” she said. goosebumps on my body rose and i felt creeped out. “itsokay i’m here,” she reassured me. we paid the driver the amount needed and exited the taxi to be greeted with the eerie sounds of the cemetery and a gushed of wind went pass us. the guard in-charge was not on duty and can obviously be seen sleeping because his face was covered by his “on-duty” cap. ailee got to take a few snaps for her slides. we came across this particular grave that caught her eyes. “jen! look,” she whisper shouted to me. i looked over to her direction and went over to her. “he looks hot, right?” she said to me. i looked at her and nodded. “such a waste you passed away already, i would’ve been your bride if you hadn’t pass away. you know, my birthday is coming, just give me a carat diamond ring and a boquet of roses, maybe by then i’d be yours. 30th july, i’ll be waiting,” she said.

i hit her arm. “are you crazy?! the spirit world is nowhere to be messed with! you may get yourself in deep trouble!” i whisper-shouted to ailee. “its just a joke, i didn’t really mean it, its no big deal lmao chill the fuck down,” she said and laughed. she can still laugh? wow what is this. after a few more shots we went back to the dorm to go to sleep. i washed my feet and tried to sleep. i couldn’t, something is bothering me. i took out my phone and texted ailee.

a/n ; admin mins here ❣️ ayee first fanfiction posted 🙂 ik thr’s none of any connections or anything but it’ll come later on 👌🏼 pt 2 will come tmrw hopefully i gotta do my hw rn like forreal tho kk bye readers have a great morning/evening/night, wherever u are :)

#jungkookff jungkook fluff #jungkook #btsfanfiction #btsimagines #kpopimagines #igottadomyhwokbye

0 notes

thoughtsicantshare · 7 years

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3/15/17

I'm not really sure what I want to write rn, but I have this intense urge to write I guess I'll start w the fact that I'm on my "spring" break. The weather is anything it spring like. The last 2 days we've been snowed in. It sucks but I don't particularly mind bc I got tons of rest that I haven't had in so long. I also got to read. I finished one book yesterday in a couple of hours-- yes I'm very proud of myself for finishing it so quick. It was Just Friends by Billy Taylor. Many people are super obsessed with it, so I jumped on the bandwagon. It was really good; some parts were boring, but over all I really enjoyed it. The ending was awesome-- I cried so much (but tbh, I cry over just about anything). I'm also reading this other book. I forgot what it's called, but I don't really like it all that much anyway. I wanna try to finish that tomorrow or Friday so I can start this other book I've been dying to read. I've also jumped on the bandwagon and started Gilmore Girls. I watched it here and there when it was actually on TV, but I was younger and didn't actually follow it. It's a cute show, I'm not super obsessed w it, but it's definitely a good show to watch when you need something to watch before bed. In terms of school, I still love it. I have some homework that I really have to do tomorrow. I started some today, but I gotta get a lot more done. Continuing with the gym, I started working out over my Christmas break. I really like the gym. Gyms used to creep me out big time, but something about this place is nice. I'm in a tiny bit of a rut rn-- I'm not as motivated as I used to be, but I'm still going or at least doing little exercises at home if I can't get to the gym. On the topic of boys, I've still got nothing. Idk where on earth I stand w the guy I like, which completely sucks, but whatever. He seems to like me one day, but then the next it seems like he's just my friend. He'll be very flirty and forward with me, but the second I try to go a little deeper he pushes away. It's so confusing. Part of me also thinks he may be talking to someone else. Idk why or who or if it's true, but I just feel it. So much of me just wants him to confess his love for me but i know it's just not gunna happen. I'm still getting over him-- slowly, but surely. I can do it. I found out that multiple guys at school have asked about me. Sounds awesome right? WRONG. They think I'm dating this other kid I'm friends w. I'm extremely annoyed bc guys are actually asking about me but they think I'm in a relationship. I have nothing against the kid, like I said I'm friends w him, but i an EXTRA annoyed that people think we're dating. But even so, I've been watching love movies, reading love stories and seeing so many happy couples and I just want love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ik I don't need it, but I want it. I want someone who I can talk to, to connect with. I want a cute boy to hold my hand and give me forehead kisses. I want someone to want me. As much as I want them. Like I said, I'm always the friend. No guys ever seem to be interesting in me, chase me, or want anything other than friendship. I just want to be the pretty girl. I just want someone to like me. I just want to share my love w someone who will share it back. And now on to work. I am completely hating my job. Idk if I've mentioned it, but I work at this little boutique in a secluded mall by my house. Since the store is so tiny, so many people pass it by. On top of that, everyone hates the mall itself, so barely any people go shopping. It's always dead. No exaggeration, I've worked for 5 hours straight where only 1 person walked it. So yeah, I'm hating my job. A lot. I just feel like I'm always wasting my time there. I have school work I could be doing or I could be helping my mom babysit and making more money doing that. My pay is ohkay there but when I get my pay checks it doesn't even seem worth it. I don't want to not work-- I like working and making my own money. I just hate what I'm doing. Because I'm unhappy at work, I'm unhappy most of the time outside of work too. There's nothing more I hate than being in a shitty mood all the time. In high school I was alway negative and it didn't get me anywhere but alone and upset. Then I finally found happiness and I know what it's like so I can't stand being unhappy. Of course, I understand that the negative comes w the positive, and I have to take life as it comes. But this is in my control so I'm annoyed that I can't fix it. So yeah, overall I'm happy. But there are definitely a couple things-- love and work-- that I want to change.

#journal

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