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m00nlitknight · 4 years

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librarian helper

fandom: IT (2017) pairing: henry bowers / goody-two-shoes reader word count: 1,635 warnings: none to really point out? henry being henry?? summary: Oh, how one tires of stagnant days. extra: my favorite part of this is when richie said 'mullet-boy bowers' im iconic. i also finished this at like 3am pls b gentle i hope i wrote henry ok! feedback is highly appreciated, thank you for reading!

archive of our own link.

Monday mornings in Derry weren’t ideal, regardless of the context. Teens awoken far too early for their own good, forced to come to grips with the reality that it was the first day back from the weekend. Trudging through the crowded student body and longing for the day to be over just as soon as it was to begin. A variety of feelings made the air heavy and thick with a concoction so truthful to the high school experience; frustration, exhaustion, and the underlying scent of yearning.

Few an individual found themselves bragging of the weekend’s extracurricular activities, cackling with an unusual vigor and energy unlike the rest of their near-ghoulish peers. Others were sitting on the ground, rushing through their assignments with adrenaline only just granted to them; oh yes, the heart-stopping experience of forgetting that there was homework.

Fortunately, you’d hadn’t found yourself in that predicament this morning, having thoroughly done your homework on Friday night. Best to do it then push it off and forget it; your own philosophy. Not to say you hadn’t found yourself in the same situation in times past, nor were you above those whose memory’s had failed them.

Quietly you step up to your locker, opening it and glancing down to your left, where Richie Tozier was currently scribbling nonsense down on what you assumed to be Government. You hummed, putting your things away quickly and retrieving what looked to be the same assignment - some stupid worksheet the teacher assigned, no doubt some kind of busywork. Your class truly had no grasp on the concept of being ‘quiet,’ which annoyed you to no end.

You squatted down to his level, with his pencil not even ceasing as you set the paper in his peripheral. No teachers were at their morning posts yet, either that or the ones who were supposed to be there simply didn’t care to be there.

“Oh - uh, shit, how much?” His eyes shifted from you to the paper quickly as he fumbled to reach for something - likely his wallet.

“Nothing,” Your voice leaves you laced with amusement as you push the paper into his grasp. “Just don’t get caught with it, please.”

“Aw, c’mon! You can’t just hand it the fuck over for free, man, that’ll mean I owe you a solid.”

“Just consider it on the house, Tozier. It’ll be fine, you don’t owe me.”

“Okay, okay, but don’t come hollerin’ when you suddenly need a favor from ol’ Richie, alright?”

You hum in affirmation, turning back to your locker and beginning to sort through the things that would be needed for the day to come. Around you, energy began to rise, individuals of the student body reanimating through social interaction. The morning sun may not have been enough to revitalize them, but it appeared that the promise of teenage-to-teenage interaction was.

Richie finished his work with your worksheet quickly, shoving it back in your direction with a toothy grin. “Thanks, dude, you’re a fuckin’ lifesaver, I swear.”

“Like I said, it’s nothing! Do you need help with anything else? You know I have a basically free second period in the library.”

“Nah, thanks for the offer,” He seemed to finalize, standing up to go through his own locker. “I’ll make sure to send my dumbfuck friends your way if they happen to need any tutoring, though.”

You release a laugh through your nose, head shaking as you did so. Richie looked to you with a momentary smile, only to have it fall when he looked passed to the people around you.

“Alright, don’t panic,” naturally, you felt a little alarmed as a grimace crept onto his features. “ but I think you have a momentary peepin’ Tom right now.”

“Uh ... what ... do you mean?” You couldn’t help the faint caution and apprehension crawling into your voice.

“Mullet-boy Bowers is staring at you like ... really intensely,” he turned to you once again, putting an not-so-reassuring hand on your shoulder. “If I were you, I’d get the fuck outta dodge right now.”

With that, he stepped around you, maneuvering through the hallway - likely to class - and leaving you by your lonesome and, unfortunately, vulnerable. Quickly after his departure, the bell rang shrill overhead, signaling the beginning of class as students begrudgingly made their way to their first hour classes. You made yourself among their ranks, gathering your things to hopefully outrun ( or walk in this case ) any physical advancements the fellow student could’ve had on you.

The classroom’s door frame never felt more welcoming as you stepped foot into it, releasing a breath of comfort. Most of the class had yet to filter in, meaning there was more reign to choosing whatever seat you wanted. With a hum of appreciation, you step further in, choosing a seat not-too-close and not-too-far back for your liking, sitting down and preparing for class.

You keep your attention focused on your notebook for the beginning as classmates make their way in, sitting in various spots around the room and leaving you by yourself. Booted footfalls make their dreaded way over to you, finding themselves seated to your right. Sudden fear prickles your skin, suddenly making the room too warm and too cold at once while your shoulders tense. For the love of god, be anyone, anyone other than who you thought it was.

The seat creaks, likely with the weight of its occupant leaning into your vicinity. “Did’ja get the homework done, girlie?” You can almost hear the smirk in his whisper, as though he’s a wolf bearing his maw to a sheep. You tense further, shaking your head as you unconsciously lean further into the empty space you have right.

“S’funny...swear I saw you givin’ it to Trashmouth ‘fore class started,” The seats to your front and back were occupied by others, quite possibly remaining individuals who found an alliance with Henry. “Always thought’ch’re a good girl...be a shame if someone fucked that up for y’huh?”

Blackmail? That didn’t really seem like his style, then again it didn’t quite seem like you were being offered a choice of any kind - especially if he had the man power of his goons with him.

“So what’s it gonna be, huh? We ain’t got much time,” his voice transcribed his annoyance as your mulling was cut short, sliding the paper into his vision as he diligently scribbled the answers down. Across the room you caught the eye of Richie, quickly looking away in shame. You nearly miss the amused “s’what I thought,” murmured from Henry as he finishes the work quickly, shoving your desk with a bark of laughter.

The class continues on with its usually snail-like pace, much to your dismay as you keep your eyes locked on either the clock or your notebook. In front of you sat Belch Huggins, likely to his own humor since you were no longer able to see the board, and to your back sat Victor Criss who was able to sneak in an early nap. Through the paperballs being spat at or thrown at you from your right, you couldn’t help but feel that this was in some way better than having Patrick sit nearest to you - even if he was still creepily staring into your shoulder from behind Henry with what you could only guess was that irking grin. God forbid it was his expressionless face, that churned nervousness in your gut.

The bell rang once again overhead, signaling your freedom to the library as you scrambled to gather your things and rush passed before you had the chance to get cornered. Dumping what you had in your hands in your locker - you figured it would be for later you to organize - you did your best to scamper to the library unseen.

It seemed to have worked for the most part, aside from the bemused glances you garnered from teachers. Only momentary, they shrugged it off as you being a good kid in a hurry. As you entered the vicinity, you released another sigh of relief. If there was one thing you knew, it was that Henry Bowers wouldn’t be caught dead in a library. You didn’t really worry about his friends either, they were probably busy giving some unfortunate soul a swirlie, or whatever.

“Always on time, aren’t you?” The librarian, Ms. Andrews, rhetorical question was met with a beaming smile from you. “I’ve written things down for you to do, I’ll be in and out today helping the bookkeeper in the office.”

With a timid nod, you walked over to what she’d assigned you to do, looking through the short list with a thought of reaffirmation. Checking books back in, sorting back through them, and putting labels on new ones. You didn’t think you’d get through it all in the allotted time, though you were sure she’d been aware. Despite the world’s slow pace of going digital, Derry managed to lag behind - leaving you and your school with the unfortunate continuation of the paper system instead of being able to have the use of a computer.

“I’ll be back soon, dear, you know where where everything is,” she rounded the counter top before stepping out of the room, heels clicking loudly on the linoleum outside the carpeted room. A few moments later, the sound of boots made themselves apparent on the floor outside, going unnoticed by you as you began working on what had been assigned to you.

Looking up, your eyes met the smug gaze of Bowers himself - to which you tensed up once again. It stayed like what for an uncomfortable amount of time, the stuffy silence broken by the likes of you.

“Didn’t think you’d be a fan of the library,” you murmured, closing the book and setting it on the cart to be replaced.

“Wasn’t really, ‘till a lil’ birdy told me where my favorite bunny hangs out fer her second hour,” A sly smirk crawled onto his features as he watched you grimace over the use of the pet name.

He stepped forward, watching a physical flinch from you occur whilst he leaned his elbows onto the counter. It was stupid of him to get worked up over watching you squirm like that, but he had to admit there was definitely a feeling that came along with it. Leaning onto the counter, he gazed into your face. “What’ya say to us peelin’ outta here, goin’ and havin’ some actual fun?”

You fell silent at the question, blush darkening your features all the way to the ear. Unable to keep eye contact, you glanced to the pile of books that suddenly seemed way more interesting. “I’d say,” your voice came out so much more fragile then you’d meant it to as you looked back into his eyes. “Take me to dinner first.”

At your rebuttal, he found himself at a momentary loss for words, his own cheeks dusting with a faint pink. His smirk faltered, before returning at full force. “Can’t a man get a taste first, then?”

“ Uh, ” your mouth went dry, eyes suddenly widening. How could he be so forward?

“What’ll it be, doe-eyes?”

With a glance around the vacant library, you looked to him again. “Follow me.”

His smirk turned wolfish as you led him to the vague-privacy of the bookshelves. Once the doorway was out of sight, and the two of you were tucked away into a corner, you looked to him. “We’ll have to be quick...and quiet.”

He stepped to you, only partially caging you in with one hand. “I can do quick, but I can’t promise quiet, bunny.”

“W-we can’t do much,” you stammer, face flushing as he lowered himself to your neck. “I’m n-not that easy!” You squeak when you feel his lips press against your jugular, putting an embarrassed hand to your mouth.

“Thought we had to be quiet,” he chuckled.

You put your hands onto his face, dragging him backward to press a chaste kiss to his lips. Quickly, he swatted your hands away, coming to rest his own on your waist as you replaced your hands onto his shoulders. The kiss escalated to eyes being closed, lip nipping, and heads turning for a better angle.

You gently pulled away, in turn his hands beginning to roam your mid-section with curiosity as you caught your breath. When he brushed a certain spot, you couldn’t suppress a giggle, much to his amusement as he began to brush it intentionally.

“Henry!” You giggle, putting your hands on his chest to push him away.

“Y’know, I like the sound of my name on your lips, doe-eyes,” He pressed a kiss to your lips once again before pulling away completely. “Maybe you’ll be sayin’ it with more gusto tonight, huh?”

Your face flushes, eyes widening again. “Oh - oh! Uh, maybe..?”

“Meet me durin’ lunch, we’ll talk then,” and with a wink, he set out of the library.

#henry bowers x reader #henry bowers imagine #henry bowers #it 2017 fanfiction #it 2017 #anyway #reader insert

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1-800-seo · 4 years

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— 1-800-SEO'𝗌 𖧷 '𝖲𝗈𝗅𝗈 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗀𝖾' — \ 1 | 2 | /

— 𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝗃𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

— 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿/𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍

— 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌: 2655

— 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋: 2

— 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 90'𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖩𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗀𝗋𝗎𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗄𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗐.

Your joints crack as you sit up in bed, you stare at the poster covered wall as your eyes adjust to the morning light. Taehyung shifts on his mattress on the floor a few metres away. The sun streams into the room through the slats of the blinds, honey glow lighting up the room. Your back aches as you stretch out your worn muscles. Last night’s activities tired out both your brain and your body.

You pad over to the chunky computer over by the window and switch it on before searching the room for your leather jacket. It’s on the floor underneath Tae’s feet, likely because it was discarded in a hurry to get some sleep. You rummage through the pockets until you find a small folded piece of paper, an old receipt, with a phone number and email address written in neat handwriting.

Once the slow computer has booted up, you load up the internet. The familiar ear piercing dial up tone You scramble to turn the volume down but it’s too late. Taehyung had already stirred and you’d jumped out of your skin. It scared you so much you have goose bumps and almost fall off your chair in the process of finding the volume button on the monitor.

Taehyung slowly sits up on the mattress, cradling his pillow like his life depends on it. His hair is ruffled and eyes heavy.

“What are you doing?” He mumbles out, voice croaky and low with sleep. “Sorry TaeTae, I was trying to ring up the internet but forgot that we played games on it on Wednesday night and didn’t turn down the sound.”

Apologetically you squeeze his knee, hoping he’ll be able to go back to sleep. You don’t like an overtired best friend, especially when yours gets extra cranky like a toddler. Luckily he lies back down and pulls his blanket over his head, most likely blocking out the light. You turn back to the computer and boot up the email program.

You input the email written on the paper, hands shaking as you type. You weren’t used to this, the email read ‘[email protected]’, it made you hyper aware that this doesn’t happen every day.

You begin writing your email to him, as you did so thoughts of gratitude and sentiment welled up inside. You u had to thank him for his kindness, after all, he spared you from a concussion.

The email read: Dear Jeon Jungkook/JJK,

Thanks for everything last night, it’s greatly appreciated. Your show was radical, and I’m sorry I bummed so much of your time. Hope we can meet again soon.

Sincerely, a loyal fan of yours, ~ ________~

You finished typing up your message and read it and re-read it for any mistakes. You wanted it to be chatty and casual but not overly casual so as to look like you don’t care. You left it at that and hit send. The paper airplane emoticon bounced in the digital wind as your email was sent though code to Jungkook himself. You got back in bed and hoped for your heart to stop fluttering.

By the time you received an email in your inbox that wasn’t from a school friend or an advertisement, it was the following Wednesday. You were having your usual hang out with Taehyung when the computer pinged in the background of your chatter. You just ignored it since a ping on your computer is usually just your school friends gossiping about how they want you to set them up with Tae, and went back to your sewing session.

By sewing, you and Tae weren’t exactly doing cross stitch, you were sewing on patches to his back pack and your denim jacket. After you had finished that, that was when you checked your ivory coloured, cube shaped computer monitor and spotted the sender’s name: Jeon Jungkook/JJK.

Tae almost had a heart attack when he saw it with his own eyes. To double check he brushed his fringe out of them. He grabbed you by the shoulder, and shook you back and forth. “Don’t tell me that’s the JJK! Are you serious?!” He exclaimed as he rocked your brain in your skull.

“I mean I think so, I emailed him on Saturday morning.” You scanned your brain for any reason why it wouldn’t be the real him, maybe a scam?

“Open it quick!” Taehyung jumped on the computer, spamming the enter button repeatedly. The email took its time opening, the loading bar going up bit by bit. Too slow for Taehyung’s liking. A few “come on, come on!”’s later and it popped on the screen in all its anticipated glory.

It read: dear ______, im glad to hear that youre ok. dont worry about ‘wasting my time’, you made a normal day exciting, and i cant thank you enough for that, doll. hopefully we can meet up some time? id like to invite you and your friend to my next scheduled show, don’t stress about travel, ill sort it, it’d just be nice to see you again and catch a bite to eat before the show. i want to see your pretty face again, angel. let me know asap.

yours truly - jjk.

As soon as you read the email, you shook with excitement and screamed. Taehyung had wide eyes and his mouth agape. “No. Freaking. Way.” He gasped, completely in shock.

“How did this happen to me? This is a dream, right?” You shake your head as to clear a non existent sleepy fog that could be making you hallucinate.

You look back at the monitor; the email is still there. “This can’t be real?!” You exclaim, turning to Taehyung on your swizzle chair, wide eyed.

“It has to be? This is a real email, it has his email address right there!” He pokes the screen at the point of mention. “It all seems legitimate?” You ponder, searching the screen any tell tale signs of a scam.

“I hope it’s not too good to be true... I want to be your future children’s godfather.” Taehyung said with a giggle, covering his bashful smile.

“You have to be kidding me, as much as I’d like to have his children, we’ve only met once!” You blush, cheeks going warm.

After all the fangirling, you decide to sort out the arrangements of your next meet-up, and exchange more heart fluttering emails as you smooth out the plans. A few emails later and the plans end up being that you’ll start the evening with catching something to eat on the boardwalk and then you’ll go to the venue for his next concert, meet Taehyung there, chill out in the green room, and then watch the show from front row seats.

The whole plan was unreal to you, unrealistic at its simplest, but you were excited nonetheless. The day came around sooner than expected and soon enough you were picking out the perfect date outfit with your best friend, as well as wondering whether to do pre-game shots to steady your nerves.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this plan, TaeTae?” You ask hesitantly, staring into the mirror and meeting eyes with him across the room.

“Of course I am, I’m just happy I get to see my favourite artist again in concert; never mind be wingman for my favourite girl. It’s extra special when those two events align though.”

Boxy grin on his face, he looks at the ground. “You’re the best, honey bear.” You say and pull him into a befitting bear hug.

“I’ve not heard that name in a while.” He chuckles under his breath and places a firm kiss on the top of your head.

“I know your mum used to call you that when we were little so I thought it fit you; my big honey bear, intimidating to others but so sweet to me.”

You release him from the hug and share a look that holds the bond of a years long friendship. “Right, what’re you going to wear then?” “Shall we coordinate outfits?” Tae asked picking out a camouflage bandana. “You could wear your camo print pants, and I’ll wear this?” He wraps the bandana round his head and fluffs his long dark wavy hair. His change of conversation kickstarts you back into the present reality. After that, you pick out a black sleeveless crop top to go with his advised pants, layered necklaces/chokers, and boots and put them on after you’ve adorned your pants with metallic dangling chains. Once you’re in your grunge get up, you shove your across the shoulder bum bag with any essential item you might need, such as lipstick, tampons, money, etc. and sling it over your back like a quiver. If you need it you’ll have to turn it round but it’s for the aesthetic so you ignore the inconvenience it creates.

A few hours later and you’re driving down the Cali roads in Taehyung’s 60’s Triumph TR6 with the wind in your hair and nirvana blasting on tape. Miles and miles of beach zoom by until you reach the board walk and you don’t stop until you reach the high end sea restaurants built to feed tourists.

Taehyung pulls up by the entrance and lets you out. He looks stunning in the golden sunlight, dark hair glowing amber in the rays. “Don’t have too much fun.” He lifts up his sun glasses before sending you a wink, saluting you goodbye, and driving away.

“See you at 8pm!” You shout over the roaring exhaust. He never turns around but raises a hand in a wave of acknowledgement as he drives away.

You step in to the restaurant to be met with the smell of sea salt and braised steaks. You scan the tables for a familiar face until you see a hand waving over the sides of a booth in the corner.

“Didn’t expect to be seeing you here.” You say coyly, sliding into the booth opposite him.

“Well, you know, I was just waiting for a beautiful girl, but I think I’ve found one who’s more to die for than the desserts here.” He pushes a lock of hair out of his eyes, it has a slight curl to it, even more prominent now that it isn’t as sweaty as when it’s most commonly seen.

“Oh, and who might that be?” You fold your legs and place your hands underneath your chin, looking into his eyes with a smile.

“I believe it’s you, babycakes.” A flush forms on your cheeks and he winks at you.

“So what do you fancy eating tonight? I think I have my eye on something...” He fully takes in your outfit, but you’re not sure his eyes are only on your outfit, maybe this croptop was a good idea after all.

“I don’t know, can you recommend anything? I like things that are creamy.” You reply, batting your eyelashes, feigning innocence.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to whip up something delicious for you, darling.” A waiter comes and starts their opening spiel, this sends fits of giggles through you both.

A date full of getting to know each other, flirty comments, and general adoration for each other later, your cheeks were hurting because of how much smiling you had been doing. JK was so charismatic it hurt.

Soon dinner was over and it was time to make your way over to the venue. Hand in hand you stroll across the board walk to get there. The way the sunlight hits the waves is enchanting and you find yourself stopping to gaze into the bay.

“What’re you thinking about?” He asks whilst resting his hand on the boardwalk railings.

“Everything, nothing... I just keep thinking about how surreal this is, I feel like I’m in a dream. Partially because I’m in the presence of a super gorgeous singer and partially because said singer asked to spend time with me and now I’m on a date with them. If that doesn’t sound like a dream, I don’t know what does.”

You laugh and cover your face. Suddenly you feel two warm hands on yours, peeling them back from your face. When you open your eyes you are met with Jungkook’s emoting doe eyes looking back at you.

“I completely understand, I have felt the same before, like reality isn’t the same, or like I’m dreaming; but we’re here now, we’re present, you’re here with me and it’s real.”

He pulls you into a hug, his arms enveloping your body. Most people would feel uncomfortable, especially since you just met Jungkook, however here with him on the boardwalk, in the setting sun, you feel safe. You feel like you are where you’re supposed to be. You stand there hugging him on the boardwalk for what feels like a long time, and then you pull away and grab his hand, continuing the journey once more.

“Thank you Jungkook, that was so comforting, I can’t imagine you’ve been in a similar situation but I really am grateful for being here in your company. Can I ask, when have you felt like this?” You feel his thumb rub small circles into your skin, such a soothing notion.

“I don’t know, from time to time... I guess it’s just the perils of the job. Don’t get me wrong, I love this, it’s what I’ve always wanted to do, but their is just some days where I really do feel disconnected. Show after show, blurring face after face, I’m on a high when I’m on stage but when I come down, I come down, if you know what I mean?” You notice his gaze is on the cracked sun bleached wood of the boardwalk.

“I get that. It must be hard every night to go from having the time of your life, to go back to normalcy once your feet touch backstage. I get that you’re just a normal guy who feels like a normal guy, but when people treat you like a god, it can’t sit right, can it?”

“Yeah, it’s like when I’m up there I’m deified but when I’m at home I’m the farthest thing from likeable.” He’s looking up, eyes turned towards the sky now, you wonder whether he’s doing this to stave off the tears.

“Jungkook, I know I haven’t known you long, but I can guarantee that when the lights are off and you’re home in your pyjamas, you’re just as likeable as the guy with the heavenly voice on the stage. I’m not saying this as a fan, I’m saying this as someone who wants to get to know you better, to see you when you’re not on stage, when you think you’re unlikeable, and to be able to tell you all the reasons why you’re so so likeable and worth so much more than you realise. No one is worthy of being deified, but you are certainly worthy of feeling loved.” You squeeze his hand tight in your palm to reassure him.

“Would you be the one to love me?” He turns to you and looks you in your shocked eyes. His are softened and tear filled. “I am not adverse to that... however could I maybe get to know you a little better first?” you say back, as lovely as this boy is, and no matter how much you wanted to love him, you couldn’t really say that yet.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so stupid, sorry for that, why would I ask that on the first date? What the hell? But also yes yes that’d be amazing. I’m so sorry though.” His cheeks flush and you can tell a mile off that he’s flustered, he’s still cute though. You giggle in return, “You’re too cute.”

And so you continue along the board walk, hands clasped together, you both make your way to his next show.

𖣔 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀! 𖣔

𝖫𝖾𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽

𝖽𝗋𝗈𝗉 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀, 𝗂𝗍'𝗌 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽!

#bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts #bangtan #jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook oneshot #90’s jungkook #grunge jungkook #jeon jungkook #taehyung #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #bestfriend taehyung

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jihoonslattee · 6 years

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Angel! Jihoon AU

this isn’t a russian roulette update but ! i had a sudden idea for this kind of imagine! [credit to picture owner !!]

i was going to post chapter two for russian roulette and rip im sorry but i’ll post it hopefully on friday or saturday!! im sorry for the wait! i realized i needed smthing that was on another computer for rr ^.^

___

today was not one of your days.

literally

like you woke up on the wrong side of bed and there was nothing to eat for breakfast since you forgot to go out and get some food from the store

but ANYWAYS

you had decided to go outside and go for a walk since you wanted to cool off your mind

being honest you didn’t even know why you were so upset it just felt like it wasn’t going to be your day already since waking up at 11 am (yes 11 am not 8 am bc thats too early)

walking to your nearest store and buying some food to make at your place you had proceeded to walk across the street when you hear people yelling

looking up you noticed they were pointing to the side of you and looking in that direction you had noticed that a car was coming at full force in your direction

for some reason you weren’t able to move your body like you were paralyzed, you wanted to move though

so you closed your eyes and braced for impact for the oncoming car that was going to collide with your body

but it never happened ?

you just felt a light push on your body and opening your eyes you say a guy as you were falling that you made eye contact with, he gave you a small smile before you closed your eyes again preparing for impact with the ground.

once you felt your back hit the ground, you opened your eyes to see a bunch of people crowding around you and to your left, was the car that you thought was going to hit you but was a couple of feet away

“are you okay miss? we were trying to warn you about the car but it looks like it didn’t end hitting you”

although a bunch of people were trying to make sure you were okay you couldn’t get your mind off of the guy you had seen while falling

“what happened to the other guy on the street?”

they all looked at you confused before looking around the street

“honey there was no one else on the street before you almost getting hit”

an adult gave you a concerning gesture before helping you up

after arriving home you sat down on your couch and wondered about what happened

you were sure that you saw another person on the street who helped you not get hit by the car

i mean regardless you did end up falling on the ground

but who was this person?

a couple of days had passed and you were honestly about to let it go as just something you saw since you were panicking but while going out shopping for some food you noticed a familiar figure walking away from the direction you were looking in

walking towards the figure you tried to catch up with it,

the figure turned around and you both made eye contact, causing him to walk even faster away from your direction

“W-WAIT!”

yelling towards the person even though there were other people on the street caused them to give you some looks

you managed to catch him halfway through the crosswalk and held his wrist

“why are you walking away from me?”

the guy turned around and it turned out to be the exact person you saw for a moment when you almost got hit that day

he suddenly grabbed your hand and walked off the crosswalk, stopping by a cafe

“why are you following me?”

you gave the guy a look before pointing to yourself

“answer my question first, we literally made eye contact and you started walking faster, i have a few questions for you too”

the guy sighed and led you into the cafe

after the both of you got drinks and sat down at the table the guy took a sip out of his drink and put it down back on the table

“ask away.”

looking into his eyes you suddenly had flashbacks back to that day, it didn’t traumatize you but you certainly didn’t like having to randomly think back to that day as if you were living through it again

“i saw you, on the crosswalk with me. i was supposed to get hit, but i didn’t and i saw you before i completely fell on the ground, but you were gone after i opened my eyes again. where did you go?”

the guy chuckled before picking up his drink again

“i would think that you would ask my name first, which is jihoon by the way”

“nice to meet you jihoon i’m Y/N but answer my question, it’s been bothering me for days.”

jihoon sighed again and leaned in closer to you, which surprised you

“simple. i’m an angel from above.”

you scoffed as soon as those words left his mouth.

“you’ve got to be kidding me. i would’ve believed it if you said you ran fast but an angel? this isn’t a fantasy drama”

“but why do you think no one saw me? it was like i was there for a moment and simply vanished right?”

jihoon leaned back into his chair and drank out of his drink

“i’m telling the truth, i saved you from death. but i was invisible so no one saw me, but for some reason you were able to.”

you were slowly processing it, he was right in all levels, he was only there for a split second, the car which was coming in fast suddenly was stopped right before you and you were the only one to see him before other people came to help you up

“but the real question it, why are you still here and actually visible now? you looked completely different than when i saw you last time”

this question seemed to make jihoons’ face harden.

you almost regretted asking the question but you had to know, he saved you and you were curious

“well, to be honest, i was actually supposed to lead your soul into heaven. after you know, you got hit with the car. so when i saved you it was actually considered illegal-”

“you were supposed to let me die? aren’t angels supposed to be like saving graces? why would you let me die then?”

“you were supposed to die on that day, it was already marked in our books. everyone has a day they die from the moment they are born.”

he explained it so calmly that it felt surreal

“so why are you here now? shouldn’t you be gone?”

“i’m not an angel anymore Y/N. i wasn’t supposed to save you, so they revoked my right to be an angel and here i am, a human.”

it was an understatement to say you felt bad for jihoon

he legit risked his career of an angel (lmfao career)

and he decided to save you and risk his right of being an angel

“i’m sorry jihoon. you didn’t have to save me. i didn’t mean to hunt you down like this either.”

he laughed and low key it sounded like candy to your ears,

i mean he is an angel so you are guessing he has to be perfect?

“don’t be sorry Y/N. I did what I wanted to do, i didn’t want to let you die and I went through with what I wanted to do so don’t be apologetic. be happy. live the rest of your life out”

to be honest that made your heart beat a little too, handsome and nice to boot? a package

you shook those thoughts out of your head and looked at jihoon with a smile

“you’re making it sound like this is our last time to meet, we should be friends!”

“f-friends?”

“yeah! i mean you saved me and i feel bad so let me repay you back through small meals and other stuff!”

jihoon chuckled before pulling out a phone from his pocket

“okay well give me your kakao and I’ll message you!”

after exchanging kakao talk ids you both parted ways mostly since you had work the next day

but you met up often with jihoon after that day

you felt indebted to him but at the same time, you wanted to get to know him more!

and he even told you himself that he wanted to know you more as well so you both hit it off!

most of your hang outs some how started to really only consist of going around and finding the best places to eat food

like you would find a ramen restaurant one day and then jihoon would find a cafe another day

during your hangouts you two would talk about just random topics

like you asked him if he’s been to every country on the earth and he just gave you a really weird look which made you low key embarrassed and you ended up taking back the question

but other times he would just ask

“if my face is as good as you say it is then should i become a kpop idol?”

this made you low key choke on your drink but also laugh as the same time which made jihoon actually look offended and give you a glare so you stopped laughing and just gave him a small response

“i mean do you actually want to sing and dance though?”

“i can sure as hell sing and dance”

“GASP you cursed!”

“hell does not count as a bad word”

“that’s where the devil lives though”

honestly you’re not even sure how your conversations ended up like that with jihoon but somehow it did

but you enjoyed it though!

honestly you found yourself falling heads over heels for jihoon

and no it wasn’t because he so happened to save you

his personality just seemed to be so in sync with yours that you totally forgot that at some point he would have to go back

and that day was today

“Y/N!”

you turned around and saw jihoon running towards you with his arms fully open which made your arms open too which ended up in a full on hug

“I can go back now! I can be an angel again!”

you slowly let go of the hug in shock

“you’re, going back now?”

he nodded his head towards you and just put his hands on your shoulders

“i know i was low key a nuisance to you but i’ll always be watching over you with the best intentions.”

you both were in a semi secluded place so it was easy for him to just go back without being spotted

feeling your eyes tearing up you just gave jihoon a small pat on the back before stepping back

“i’m so glad for you jihoon, you’ll be able to be back with all your friends again! and you’ll be able to help people out again!”

“i know right! but i’ll miss you the most, you’re the closeest person to me and I won’t forget that, even if you won’t be able to see me.”

you nodded your head and jihoon left.

the person you happened to completely fall in love with was gone like the wind.

____

meeting up with your friend daehwi later that day you suddenly poured your heart out to him, causing him to just sit there and simply pat your back

“he’s gone daehwi, I can’t believe that I even ended up liking him so much. why am I even crying.”

daehwi chuckled which made you look at him confused

“you’re crying because you know you won’t see him again. you’re regretting that you didn’t get the chance to tell him how you felt before he went back to where he lived.”

i mean

he was right and you agreed to it in your head

it just felt hard to admit it.

later that day while you were moping around on your couch watching some shows until it started to irritate you

“why are all these shows ROMANCE this is irritating me I’m literally single!”

you turned off the TV and sunk down into your couch (thats not possible but yknow thts okay)

when you heard a ring at the door

walking up to it and looking who was on the other door

“OH MY GOD”

you heard chuckling on the other side of the door with the response

“you can’t say the gods name in vain while i’m here!”

opening the door in a rush you came face to face with jihoons

well yknow jihoons face

and before you even got to ask any questions he simply just pulled you in for a hug

“what are you doing here? it hasn’t even been a full day since you were able to be an angel again why can i see you right now?”

jihoon walked into your apt and simply sat down onto your couch

closing your door and going down to sit next to him he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and gave you a small smile

“I refused to go back”

you looked at him and shock

“I told you I would be watching over you and I just so happened to hear that you liked me and you regret not telling me so I came back”

you scoffed and folded your arms together

“well if you know that i like you already why do i need to tell you again?”

“because i want to hear you say it first so I can tell you after that I like you too~”

your cheeks instantly started to heat up and you took jihoons arm off your shoulder

“if you are going to be like this you might as well leave again”

jihoon laughed and leaned in closer to you

“aww Y/N please accept my love~~”

he started doing cute motions towards you and you started laughing before looking at jihoon again

“alright I guess I’ll accept your feelings but you better not do that cute act again.”

“I guess you can say my cuteness is deathly fatal?”

“why are you talking about death when you’re supposed to be an angel?”

thank you for reading!

#wanna one #wanna one fic #wanna one imagine #wanna one scenario #wanna one scenarios #wanna one imagines #wanna one fics #wanna one fluff #park jihoon #wanna one park jihoon #park jihoon imagine #park jihoon scenario #park jihoon scenarios #park jihoon imagines #park jihoon fic #park jihoon fics #park jihoon fluff

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tumblunni · 6 years

Text

Okay the BIG TODAY THING

It seems i might possibly be gone for six months

I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!

..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!

So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.

Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.

So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!

Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!

And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.

Yeah

In summary

I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA

And the BIGGEST PROBLEM

Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!

They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING

So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.

And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa

I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house

#bunni is gone #alas #mourn they #soon to be departed from the web

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cow3survivor · 3 years

Text

Ep. 4: “Trying To Cover Ur Murderous Tracks” - Jones

JENNET

nash isnt on my tribe but i cant help but feel bad for them :((( the last two days that we were together as old calumma i actually started to connect with them. they will be missed 💔

(a little later)

why am i obsessed with ethan ? *insert meme of that tiktoker just standing there*

(after building a bamboo bed)

super nervous for immunity, if we end up losing i think i might try to push for pennino bc he pissed me off the other night saying he wouldnt be available for the comp and literally SITTING THERE watching us do the comp... i really like sam and ethan (tbh more than i like lindsay and jabari) but thats only bc of how much we communicate with each other idk i do know lindsay wants to push for pennino too bc she was annoyed it too so maybe let her do all the pushing and if it backfires, just push for her to go😳

JESSICA

No song 4 today Last round we voted out Nash. That was not my ideal choice (I wanted Nicole to go) but Pete was paranoid Nicole may have an idol, that Nicole/Mikey/Nash were secretly working together, or just that something might go down. He also trusts Nicole for reasons unknown. I didn't love leaving Mikey in the dark (I think that really only helped Pete, not me) but I was nervous that if I pushed Nicole too hard as the vote, Pete would vote Mikey and then that was really the worst case scenario. If we lose this round, I am voting Nicole no question. She asked me what happened after the vote + if we could talk which I thought was great! I sent her an explanation that basically said I didn't trust Nash because they did not talk to me, I was worried OG Calumma was still a thing, and I didn't trust Nicole because she didn't start talking to me until after we lost + she left me on read a lot. And what does she do right after I sent that? Leave me on read again! I was excited to work with her when we first swapped but I don't see that happening at all now. The nice thing is because Pete lied to her, Mikey and Nicole voted each other, AND Lovelis was already initially down to vote Nicole, I'm hoping if we lose the vote is really easy. I also don't think Nicole has the idol because.... ...I found it! Okay, no I didn't. I did find a ruby though. I think that in each quadrant of the adventure, there is a gem and the four gemstones combined will make an idol. I already have 1, I have a good idea of where it could be in the north, and most importantly I am pretty sure Nicole has no advantages. I think if she had an idol, she might have played it last round, but my guess is that there is only one idol in the game and no one has it yet. However right now I'm not sharing this information with anyone. I hope that if we lose, Pete votes for Mikey out of paranoia (and that Nicole does as well) which means moving forward, Mikey really only has me and that's an alliance I can keep long term. I do also think that we are potentially swapping after this OR we will do a double tribal after this and swap then. I do not want us to lose twice because that's when things get tricky but if we do, I think I will be set up well enough that no one is coming for me.

PETE

so my og Brookesia alliance of jessica and lovelis (plus me) they want to vote out Nicole but i reeeeaaally don’t wanna do that. Nicole and I had this talk of moving on from our past so if I just vote her out first chance I get that’d just be a huge dick move. They for some reason believe Mikey which I honestly don’t, I think he may be a little weasel. Nash doesn’t talk to me at all, so i’m hoping maybe I can shift the vote onto Nash by scaring them with the thought of Nicole having and idol

(after dropping his rice into the sand)

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH IDIDIT I DID IT IDIDIT literally i have THE biggest fucking knot in my stomach i was SO fUcking NERVOUS this is so fuckignw crazy i cant skdjdbxsjkdb i’ve NEVER been in control of a vote before like everything i told someone to do they did like i’m not gonna get all like egotistical and all that but like sjkdsxkdbsjjdjxjdkdb ive never been in this position before it’s wild i’m usually like the mikey. like i’m just there, hoping people include me but kinda just scraping by until they decide it’s my turn to leave and NOW!!!! I JUST BLINDSIDED SOMEBODYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

JENNET

trying really hard to do this comp and my arthritis is making my hands spasm :(( powering thru and hopefully we dont go to tribal. if we do im afraid that im going to be voted out :((

JABARI

So i scored for the tribe which is great but then we tie and there is tower of hanoi. Lets just say ill never play that game again but I swear im not giving up no sir....they said they wouldnt boot me because of it but ima make sure of it.

JENNET

in love with ethan hes the best person in the world

(after staring at Ethan)

really sucks going to tribal council and i know i let my team down so now im trying to find a way- SOME WAY to remind them that old calumma wanted to go after pennino next and to hopefully keep ethan out of the fire. sam approached me about an alliance with him and ethan and tbf idc what anybody calls me or what they think but im honestly closer to the too of them than to anybody on the tribe- closer to ethan than i was to jake even😳

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/12YzvXBooOu3lndrE99YopPOcO4VEAYYB/view?usp=drivesdk lmk if this works also fun fact i just tried to open the camera on the computer im borrowing and the computer bluescreened lol i hate it here

SAM

https://youtu.be/M4E00bmBj0A

PETE

The way this game is going Id say that I’m probably closest with Jessica just because we’ve been talking since the start, she’s really nice & enthusiastic, and we’ve agreed so far on the things that need to happen so we share a lot of information with each other. Lovelis is a little bit of a wild card because he never really talks that much so I’m going to try to bond with him more so that he doesn’t feel like just another number.

LOVELIS

Who knew we’d pull out a win with flash games! Maybe we need to stop shitting on then and start praying for more of them to pop up here LMAO. So glad I can just have this day to speak to people a bit more and just relax a little - I feel like me Jess and Pete are in a comfortable position within this tribe so I’m praying for no more funny business with another premerge swap but I’m tryna stay on my toes!

ETHAN

Ok so tribal time: I am in a minority position right now and it is looking sketchy. I feel like I am going because of how Jabari and Jennet have not talked to me at all today and instead have ghosted me. I have something, but not sure if I want to play it. Do I trust people, or do I just full send and blow it up? Time shall tell

JESSICA

Yay we won immunity! I love getting my Dolphin Olympics redemption arc, it's been 6 years in the making.

PENNINO

Now, it's 4 hours before the first tribal as Furcifer, and I think that us from OG Calumma will go and do a Pagong to Ethan and Sam. Since Ethan was a beast in the comps, and we want to keep tribal lines, that puts Sam up for the chopping block. As for Nash leaving, no surprise. Honestly, I feel pretty safe and now i'm just waiting for another swap.

MADISON

I don't know how I've survived four rounds but here we are. I think I've legit gotten the lowest score in the past 2 challenges but everyone else is a beast so I get to stay safe for another round. The downside to being safe so long is that there isn't really a lot of gameplay happening over on Planet Brookesia and some of us might be a little bit too comfy so that when swap time comes or we lose the next challenge, it'll be scramble city to figure something out.

JAKE

https://youtu.be/Hz-Ix0ZeQ7E y'all when I tell you i'm manic just thinking about crazy fringe theories related to this game lmaoooooo

JONES

ok bet lets get strategic:tm: i feel like a lot of my confessionals are rlly like ,, , , ,me just talking ab "wow i rlly like this person, not this person so and so and whatnot" and i haven't rlly gotten to bare bones like ,, what i'm thinking ab game wise ? for starters - i think i'm in a rlly good spot surprisingly? LIKE don't get me wrong its fking dangerous being in a 4-2 but i think i'm set up super super well? i'm officially working with all of Daisy, Sammy, Shane, and Jake, and am in an alliance w everyone of those people besides Sammy. but sammy has vouched saying that he does want to work w me and has my back and i don't have like,, any reason to doubt that rn ? unfortunately the only way to rlly like ,, ,, have everyone prove their trust to me is by going to tribal aldksfjasdlfj but i dont rlly see a reason for them to like ,, , lie to me ? esp when we haven't gone to tribal? i don't see the point in marinating someone this isn't among us and ur trying to cover ur murderous tracks,,, but ya ? i'm in a good spot. i think based on my alliances and allies and whatnot, and i've stated this already so this isn't rlly a surprise, but madison would probs be the target if we'd have to go to tribal. and Jake has stated to me too that he hasn't rlly talked to madison that much either so it doesn't seem like an uncommon thought process. after the challenge tiebreaker yesterday , the newly formed ALLEANCHE! kind of came together as the 4 most active people on the tribe so it SEEMS like it would be madison AND sammy getting targetted and , ,, , sammy going for me isn't rlly cash money bc if sammy DOES have my back then that's me losing one of MY allies,, but i don't think we're going to enough tribals before another swap for that to actually be a thing ? so hopefully if we do go to tribal it'd be madison and not sammy, but i think i, if not i then maybe jake LOL, can make a good case for madison to go over sammy. speaking of jake i have a rlly bad gut feeling that i'm gonna have to think ab cutting him soon - or at least before merge. i've kinda been letting him take the reigns since preswap to make him kind of look like a leader ish ? so i'm rlly hoping that like ,, , hypothetically speaking. lets say i'm AGAIN put on another tribe w jake (bc lbr we're swapping again),, and lets say hypothetically they wanna split up the supposed "duo" of myself and jake,,, whos the smarter person to take out - the leader whos kinda been calling the shots and making the alliances since round 1, or the person whos proven themself to be reliable and to keep their team safe and be able to go to bat for their team ? idk IDK that's just me but i definitely think like ,, in terms of a building threat level i think jake is definitely the easier target asldkfjasd which is UNFORTUNATE like i LOVE JAKE but i feel like if it comes to me and jake and jake is putting me in DANGER then , ,, well,, :( i gotta do what i gotta DO i'm pawned as old reliable for a reason :katenails: but ya uhm,,, shane/daisy/jake/i were talking on call after the tiebreaker ab what could happen and we all basically agreed theres no way in hell that there ISN'T another swap on the horizon or at least like,, a twist or something. u can't just swap at 18 on a 20 person cast and just expect us to sit like lil ducks on sunday brunch, if anything we're probs gonna swap at like ,, , , , 15? OR hosts are cracked and swap us NEXT ROUND bc they're sadistic. but ya there's def another swap it rlly just depends on when and whos there to experience it - i.e whether or not i'm gonna have security from my allies or not ya feel? i feel. also there's definitely probs like ,, , ,a double tribal. or smth. or like, smth crazy and dumb and stupid that i don't have the brain capacity to rlly comprehend. but ya hope i win this was a good strategy talk #fruciferandcallumathrowchallenge

NICOLE

Hello!!! Nash went home and I'm sad so I am PROTESTING confessionals! You won't know anything that is happening with me! Nothing! (Just kidding nothing happened this round, everyone ignored me and then we won immunity so they had no need to)

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1TxoVh69i2GPA-agNAfyW0G-Bu07weXyZ?usp=sharing

SAMMY

so I had to write a paper and I'm rushing to get this in...blinks...whats new anyways I have been so off in like the idol hunting and I have felt so detached from this game since I have only been to tribal once? but I think the people in danger would be like Madison or Jake? they have both been brought up to me by daisy...and in all seriousness I would be fine with that? I honestly really am only prioritizing Jones and Daisy in this tribe. I feel fine with my position in this game and I even got a point from the flash games. Luckily Daisy won for us in the tiebreaker and we were able to barely escape tribal. I really do hope I can continue to avoid tribal so that I can get as far into this to make it to the more individual stage of this game.

DAISY

https://youtu.be/3kCYnxDIdQY

TRIBAL COUNCIL

youtube

#cowsurvivor #confessionals

0 notes

zoemurph · 6 years

Text

to have a friend, chapter seven: $146

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

surprise! update!! woo!!!! happy thanksgiving to any americans out there, happy thursday to everyone else~

btw this happens the DAY AFTER the last chapter. cool thanks

warnings: discussion of self harm. from "“Oh.” Evan picks at his nails" to "Evan finds himself drifting off in classes". some discussions of mental health

enjoy!!

Evan thinks Connor might be asleep when he walks up to his locker. Connor is sitting on the ground against the lockers with his legs pulled up to his chest, his bag on his knees, and his head on his bag.

Evan checks his phone. They still have about fifteen minutes until class starts. If Connor is asleep he should just let him sleep. Connor probably needs it.

Evan rocks back on his heels as he unlocks his locker. Today should be an easy day— the beginning of the week had been rough, so hopefully he won’t have too much work in class. Which will be nice. He needs time to think.

He’s honestly a little worried about Connor and Jared. And Connor individually — he spends a lot of time worrying about Connor if he’s honest — but there had been something off about the way they had looked at each other in the computer lab the day before.

Evan can’t put his finger on what it is and it’s stressing him out.

He unlocks his lock and swings his locker open, careful to not hit Connor. He loads and unloads books from his backpack as quietly as he can. As the textbooks move from the locker to his hands, he plans out his day and his moves, his paths to class, where he’ll sit at lunch, who he’ll talk to.

“Ev?” Connor mumbles, voice hoarse.

Evan closes his locker a bit to glance down at him. “Did I wake you?” Evan asks softly.

Connor squints at him. “Was I asleep?”

Evan laughs. “L-let’s say yes, then.” He offers Connor his hand, Connor reaches up with his right hand and then stops before he can take Evan’s. He tries to pull it back, but Evan grabs his wrist. Connor’s knuckles are wrapped in white athletic tape.

“What happened?” Evan asks, watching Connor’s face as he holds his hand, trying not to hurt him.

Connor looks at his hand. “Car door. Bad timing.”

Evan stares at the bandages. “Did it hurt?”

Connor gives him a flat look. “Seriously?”

“Okay, yeah. I don’t know why I asked that.” Evan holds out his other hand. Connor takes it with his good hand and pulls himself to his feet. Connor pulls away to brush his hair out of his eyes and Evan pretends not to notice how empty his hand feels without Connor’s in it.

—«·»—

Evan frowns at his phone when he checks it as he’s leaving the room for lunch. He hangs back by the doorway and responds to Connor’s texts.

From: Connor To: Evan meet me in the library during your lunch? please?

From: Evan To: Connor Dont you ha ve lit???

Connor responds quickly, which is a relief. Not waiting is good. It’s better, at least. Evan leans against the lockers.

From: Connor To: Evan yeah second lunch v your third i know but teach is out were in the library p lease?

Evan chews on his lip. It’s not like he has friends at this lunch, or any lunch. He was just going to sit by himself and eat bad cafeteria food. Today is bad pasta.

He decides he’s not that hungry.

From: Evan To: Connor Im on my way

—«·»—

The first person Evan sees when he gets to the library is Alana. Unlike her other classmates, one is sprawled out on a couch while two are squished in a single chair and another is laying on their stomach on the floor, she’s sitting at a table surrounded by books. She has a notebook in front of her filled with notes and has her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she highlights a passage in the book she’s reading.

“A-Alana?” he asks softly.

She straightens and spins around, eyes wide. “Evan!” She brightens and adjusts her glasses. “How are you?”

“Um…okay? I’m looking for Connor, actually?”

She nods. “I assumed.” Evan doesn’t know why but she’s talking again before he can ask. “He’s between the biographies and the classics.”

Evan blinks.

She smiles. “Back corner over there,” she gestures.

“Oh, thanks.”

“Of course.” Evan has only taken a few steps when she stops him. “Wait.”

Evan’s heart skips a beat as he turns back to her. “Y-yeah?”

Alana glances away for a second before she sets her jaw and meets his eyes. “Tell me if he’s okay?”

Evan nods slowly. “Y-yeah I can— yeah. I will.”

She sighs a little. “Thank you.”

Evan ducks his head and slips into the shelves.

Connor is sitting on the sill of a window. Whoever designed the library decided that not only should the large windows have benches under then, the windowsills should also be large enough to sit on. Evan remembers when him and Jared had a history class together freshman year and when him and Jared were supposed to be studying for a final, Jared had laid down on a windowsill and taken a nap.

Connor’s chin is on his knees and he’s staring out the window into the parking lot.

Evan clears his throat to make his presence known.

Connor looks to him and then pats the windowsill. Evan puts his bag down on the bench and then climbs up on the windowsill, crossing his legs.

“W-what’s up?” he asks after a moment, realizing Connor wasn’t willing to be the first one to say something.

Connor breathes slowly. “I lied to you.”

Evan’s chest is immediately being crushed. His lungs have stopped working and his heart is in his throat. “What— Connor, wh-what do you—?”

Connor holds up his hand. “It wasn’t a car.” The bandages look even whiter in the light from the window.

“What did yo— what happened?”

He looks out over the parking lot again. “I punched a wall.”

“What?!”

Connor locks eyes with Evan. “I…” He furrows his eyebrows and holds up his hand, staring at his knuckles. “I punched a wall. I just… I punched a wall.” He snorts. “I punched a wall.”

Evan watches with wide eyes as Connor buries his face in his knees and his shoulders shake as he tries to muffle his laughter. Evan can still barely breathe.

“C-Connor? Are you…?” he trails off. Connor’s not okay. That’s obvious. That’d be a silly question to ask. Evan can’t keep asking questions like that.

Connor stills after a few more moments. He inhales sharply and the exhales with a huff. He looks up at Evan with hair in his face. “I punched a wall, Ev,” he whispers.

Evan rubs the fabric of his shirt between his fingers. “Y-yeah you— I guess you…you did.”

“God.” Connor runs his good hand through his hair. “God what the fuck.”

“Y-you are— I mean, only you would kn-know that.” Evan ducks his head.

“It was like two this morning,” Connor says slowly. “And I was in the basement and I just. I don’t know. I punched the wall.”

“How didn’t you— you didn’t break anything?” Evan focuses on Connor’s boots in front of him.

“I know how to punch,” Connor says. Evan raises his eyebrows. “Mom put Zoe and I in martial arts when we were kids. Something about excess energy and learning to protect ourselves.”

“I didn’t know that,” Evan murmurs.

“Yeah, stopped when I was like ten. Guess someone thought the kid with anger problems maybe shouldn’t do something with so much kicking and hitting.”

Evan frowns. “W-wait that’s— shouldn’t that be? The other way around?”

Connor shrugs. “Larry made the choice. Less to pay for, I guess. Zoe stopped around the same time. But I know how to throw a punch.”

“Oh.” Evan picks at his nails. “When… This morning, when you,” he gestures to Connor’s hand, “were you trying to…” He can’t find the words.

“Hurt myself?” Connor asks softly.

Evan closes his eyes and nods.

He hears Connor sigh. “I don’t know. I can’t really…explain what was going through my head. Maybe a little. It wasn’t…the main… Fuck, I don’t know how to talk about this shit.” Evan opens his eyes to see Connor repeatedly dragging his hand through his hair. “I mean…I have.”

Evan swallows. “Y-you…”

Connor meets Evan’s gaze. He wraps his good hand around his right forearm. “Yeah. Not lately but, um… Yeah. Yeah.”

Evan takes a shaky breath. “Oh.” He squeezes his eyes shut tightly a few times. “I-I mean, I’ve— I’ve thought about it. A lot. Too much? Maybe? Be-because I can— there are r-razors. In my house. Or they’re— They aren’t hard to-to get. But then I… I start worrying? Because what if— what if I do it wrong? Or mess up? Or hurt myself more than I mean to? Or someone asks me about it or my mom comes home and sees me doing it or I fuck up or or—”

“Evan,” Connor interrupts gently. His hand is hovering over Evan’s. “Take a breathe with me, okay?”

Evan nods and takes a slow breath. Connor’s hand rests on Evan’s once he’s stopped fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“You okay?” Connor asks.

Evan nods. “I just…” He laughs weakly. “Shoutout to my anxiety for keeping me from hurting myself more, I-I guess it’s good for…for something.”

Connor smiles a little, eyebrows furrowed. “Sure.”

Evan looks down at Connor’s sleeve covered arms. “You would…” He glances up to Connor. “You would tell me if you…wanted to hurt yourself? Right?”

Connor searches Evan’s face. Panic flashes in Evan’s mind and he wonders if he’s gone too far. “I… Yeah. And you’ll tell me?”

“O-of course.”

—«·»—

Evan finds himself drifting off in classes. He tries to focus, but his heart isn’t into it today.

He’d sat with Connor for the rest of lunch, mostly in silence. Connor had promised that he’d cleaned his knuckles after admitting that he had broken skin when he punched the wall. When Evan asked if anyone in his family knew the truth, Connor laughed.

It made Evan’s chest hurt.

He wishes there were more times where Connor genuinely laughed. Where he didn’t force it. Where it wasn’t bitter.

Evan wishes that Connor were happier.

Evan finds it a little harder to breathe when he realizes that he wants to be Connor’s friend for real. He’s wanted to be for a while, but he doesn’t think about it because it’s painful. Because Connor just needs him for now. Evan is a temporary fixture in Connor’s life. And he hates that.

It’s so bullshit. That the first person that Evan’s felt a real connection with in years is just playing a game. And Evan is playing along. Because it’s what Connor wants. And it makes Connor’s life easier.

Evan doesn’t think that’s enough.

But this is all he gets. And this is all he can do. So he will settle.

—«·»—

Evan finds Alana in the library. It’s almost like she never left after literature. She doesn’t even look up when he sits down across from her.

“He’s okay,” Evan says.

Alana looks up and relief floods her face. “Good,” she says, immediately looking back down at her laptop. “I was… He can be hard to read.” Evan nods. “Yesterday I could tell which…I assume that meant something bad?” She gives Evan a questioning look.

“Um…” Evan looks away. “I-I…not great. No.”

Alana purses her lips and then closes her laptop. “Admittedly, I don’t actually have much to talk about today. We do need to find a teacher to advise us. Which could be interesting. They have to be trustworthy. And we need to know that they’ll be supportive of discussions of mental health, which is difficult because it’s not exactly discussed often in the classroom.”

Evan nods. “Wh-what about a name? You said something about one last time.”

“Yeah…” Alana taps a pen against the desk. “I can’t think of one. We’ll work on it?”

He shrugs. “S-sure. It’s your club.”

“And yours,” Alana adds immediately. “You’re a co-founder.”

“Uh…sure. We can…call me that. You can call me that.”

She gives him a small smile. “Seriously, Evan. Thank you for helping me.”

Evan ducks his head. “N-no problem. Um, what are you reading in lit right now? You seemed, uh, invested when I saw you today?”

Alana blinks, probably in surprise. They haven’t really talked about anything other than Student Council and the club before. “Oh. Beowulf.”

“Beowulf,” Evan repeats.

“Yes! It’s,” she grabs her bag off the chair next to her and unzips it, “an epic poem. It’s in Old English and it’s about this hero named Beowulf.” She pulls out her copy of the book and opens it up to show Evan. “The left pages are the original Old English and the right are the modern translations.”

Evan squints at the Old English. “I thought you said it was English.”

Alana laughs. She has a nice laugh, Evan hasn’t heard it before. To be fair, he’s never had a non serious conversation with her. “It is. But it took a while for English to become what it is today. This was written in…” She flips the book over. “Around 700? So there was this and then there was Middle English—”

“Like Shakespeare?” Evan asks. He knows Shakespeare. He can read Shakespeare. Sort of.

Alana shakes her head. “No, like Chaucer.” She grins at Evan’s blank expression. “He wrote the Canterbury Tales. I think Shakespeare is Early Modern English or something.”

“Right,” Evan says. “Right. I… Okay.”

Alana rests her chin in her hand. “You have no idea what I’m talking about do you?”

Evan gives her a weak smile. “I have a vague idea? How do you just…know this?”

“Mr. Adams told us about it when we started reading.” She flips through the pages of Beowulf. “It was pretty easy to remember because it was interesting. Etymology is fascinating.” She glances up to see Evan’s confusion. “The study of the origin of words.”

“Ah.” Evan watches her pause on a page and scrunch up her nose as she reads a passage. “You’re really smart.”

“Oh. Thank you.” Alana sits up a little straighter. “I guess— I’m pretty good at school, yes. English isn’t that hard. You just have to understand words and then make arguments.”

“I’m not good at either of those things,” Evan admits.

“It takes some practice,” Alana says. “I could help you if you ever need it. Or— Connor could?”

“He could?” Evan asks.

“When he pays attention, he’s really good at english,” she says. “He does really well on his papers, and he doesn’t participate a lot, but he has interesting things to say when he does.” She wrinkles her nose. “We talked about phallic symbolism for three days after finishing this,” she taps her knuckles on the cover of Beowulf, “and Connor had…a few things to say.”

Evan covers his mouth to muffle a laugh.

“It was an…interesting conversation,” Alana says slowly. “The vice principal wanted to observe one of the classes and Mr. Adams lied and said we were just going to be doing silent reading all class so she wouldn’t. And then he showed us an academic essay about the phallic symbolism in Beowulf.”

“Oh my god,” Evan says, voice muffled by his hands.

Alana smiles and puts Beowulf back in her bag. “It’s a strange class.”

“It sounds fun.” Evan drops his hands to his lap. “We’re reading short stories and it’s bad.”

“Short stories can be…odd,” she says after a moment. “Who do you have?”

“Parsons.”

Alana grimaces. “I’m so sorry.”

Evan shrugs. “It hasn’t been…the worst? She argued with a student for most of a class about using they as a singular pronouns in an essay and says some things mildly racist, but I’ve heard pretty bad stories, so we’re okay right now.”

“She was awful,” Alana says flatly. “I had her for the second semester of sophomore year and I almost walked out several times. She had us do Shakespeare in a circle and would complain when we didn’t actually act out the parts.”

“It’s english class?”

“Exactly.”

—«·»—

From: Connor To: Evan you free today? not dinner

From: Evan To: Connor Yeah I was j sut going to sit aroudn my room

From: Connor To: Evan wanna do that but in a different house?

From: Evan To: Connor Sure! Be over in a bit ??

“Evan!” Evan looks up from his phone to see Zoe waving at him. She’s standing by the band room with a bunch of other students, her saxophone still around her neck.

He stops as she walks over to him. “H-hi, are you done with rehearsal?”

She blows hair out of her face. “Not yet. We’re on break.”

“This isn’t jazz band,” Evan says slowly, looking at her alto.

Zoe laughs. “No, this is wind ensemble.”

“We have that?” Evan asks in surprise.

“This year.” She presses a few of the keys. “Do you know if Connor ate today?” she asks suddenly.

“W-we didn’t have lunch together,” Evan apologizes. Zoe’s eyebrows furrow. “But if you want to— Alana Beck? They have that class together so she might…know.”

“Okay. What about you?”

Evan frowns. “Wh-what about me?”

“Did you eat?” She narrows her eyes.

He clears his throat and looks away. “S-something, uh, came up.” Zoe looks unamused. “I’ll eat,” he promises. “Soon.”

“Okay.” Zoe glances over her shoulder. The other musicians are still mulling around the band room. “I should—”

“Wait,” Evan interrupts, voice cracking. Zoe freezes. “Do you… Did you see Connor’s hand?”

She huffs and shifts her weight from foot to foot. “Yeah. Slammed it in a car door. He was probably high or something. The least he could’ve done was tell me he was taking the car before he did.”

Evan feels like his throat is closing up. “Z-Zoe? Can you— can you keep a secret?”

She frowns. “A sec— what’s wrong?”

“Can you?” he repeats, meeting her eyes.

Zoe nods slowly. “Yeah, of course. Evan, you’re kind of scaring me.”

“He didn’t— Connor didn’t close a door on his hand.” Evan’s legs feel shaky. This is bad, maybe— this was a bad idea. But at the same time, he can’t be the only one who knows. He feels like he’s going to be sick.

Zoe’s eyes go wide. “What did he do?” she asks. She asks so softly that Evan almost doesn’t catch her words.

Evan pulls on the straps of his backpack. “A wall. The basement. He punched the wall in the—”

“He punched the wall?!” she hisses. “Those are— Evan, those are concrete! What was he thinking— he could’ve broken his hand, why didn’t he— What the fuck was he—”

“Zoe—”

“And then he lied about what he did? Was he just going to let us think that he wasn’t paying attention for the rest of time? Was he going to—”

“I-I don’t think this was a thing he thought through,” Evan interrupts.

She sags. “You’re right.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “I shouldn’t have— sorry.”

“You…you won’t tell your parents? Right?” Evan rocks back on his heels. If Zoe tells her parents and her parents talk to Connor— or even if just she talks to Connor…

Connor will hate him.

Zoe sighs. “No. No, I won’t. Because he told you and he…he trusted you enough to tell you the truth. I won’t— Thanks for telling me. I’ll keep an eye on him, though.”

Evan nods. “Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. And um…he said he didn’t break his hands because he did martial arts?”

She shakes her head. “I hate him.”

Someone calls Zoe’s name. She glances back at them and holds up a finger. “I have to go,” she says to Evan. “Are you… Everything good?”

Evan smiles weakly. “I-I’m…okay. But actually…” He glances down to his phone. “Any chance you could give me a ride to your house after rehearsal?”

Zoe raises an eyebrow. “You want to hang around for another forty five minutes?”

He shrugs. “W-why not.”

She snorts. “Okay. Sure, why not. I’ll meet you outside the band room then.”

—«·»—

Evan spends the next forty two minutes in the computer lab. He sits on his laptop and spins in slow circles as he types mindlessly. He’s not really working on a letter, he’s just sort of typing words.

He’ll probably forget about this document and find it later and not know what he was trying to say.

His mind keeps wandering back to Connor. He’d like to politely ask it to stop doing that.

When rehearsal ends, he meets Zoe outside the band room. She’s laughing and talking with her friends and Evan feels awkward and out of place, even when she smiles at him and tries to invite him into the conversation. He trails behind them as they leave the school and walk out to the parking lot. Slowly, people break off to head to their own cars.

Zoe unlocks her car and tosses her backpack into the back seat as Evan climbs into the passenger seat. She hooks up her phone to the aux cord and instrument music starts to play loudly from the speakers. She sees Evan wince when the notes blare and turns down the volume.

“Is this…Pirates of the Caribbean?” Evan asks slowly.

Zoe grins as she puts the car in reverse and backs out of the parking space. “Yup! I’m on a movie score ‘kick’ right now and Connor fucking hates it. But this score literally makes me feel like I could do anything, so fuck Connor’s opinion.”

Evan smiles and leans against the door.

Zoe sings along softly as she drives, sometimes wiggling her fingers in the air along with the notes. Sometimes the song will change and she’ll sit up a little straighter with a grin. Evan has no idea how she immediately knows what movies the songs are from, but she does.

He’s watching her nod along to what she says is some version of Robin Hood that he’s never heard of when he realizes something is…different. He still gets nervous and awkward around her, but in the same way he gets nervous and awkward around everyone. He doesn’t think about Zoe any more than he thinks about Alana. It’s nice when she smiles, but his hands don’t get sweaty and his stomach doesn’t twist.

“Here we are,” Zoe announces, pulling into the driveway. She grabs a clip from the sunglasses compartment and sweeps her hair up into a messy bun thing. “Have fun with Connor, but I’m stealing the TV.”

Evan nods as he unbuckles his seatbelt.

Zoe unlocks the door and yells. Evan is realizing that this is just part of the Murphys’ daily life. “I’m home! I brought Evan!”

“In my room!” Connor shouts back almost immediately. “Bring food.”

Zoe elbows Evan lightly. “Come on, let’s get snacks. And lunch.” She gives him a look that stops all protests in their tracks.

Zoe decides a kitchen tour is necessary as she makes Evan pasta in the microwave and grabs chips off a top shelf for Connor. She shows Evan where the silverware is, where the plates and glasses are, where the pantry is, where Larry hides candy— it’s weird how Zoe thinks that Evan is going to spend a lot of time here.

She grabs an apple and tosses it to Evan. “Here. Tell Connor he needs to pretend to be vaguely healthy.”

They climb upstairs — Evan with a bowl of pasta and vegetables and with the apple, Zoe with the chips and crackers for herself — and Zoe talks about something that happened at lunch. She throws the bag of chips at Connor, who bats them out of the way and lets them fall on the floor.

Zoe sticks her tongue out at him. “I’ll see you later, Evan,” she says, bumping their shoulders together. “Shout if Connor starts acting like a dick.”

“He’d lose his voice,” Connor says flatly. He’s sitting in his desk chair with his laptop on his lap.

Evan laughs.

Connor nods to the bed as he bends down to pick up the chip bag. “You can sit on my bed. I’m…” He looks to his laptop. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Evan makes himself comfortable on Connor’s comfortable and slowly eats his pasta as Connor spins in slow circles.

“Is my sister trying to mom you?” Connor asks, pointing at Evan’s bowl.

Evan shrugs. “She found out I didn’t eat lunch.”

“My bad.” Connor stuffs a few chips into his mouth.

“I’m fine,” Evan promises. “I’m eating now. It was more important.”

They eat in silence for a few minutes before Connor says, “I don’t actually have anything for us to do. Friends just…hang out. I guess? We can fucking…talk about…girls?”

Evan pokes a carrot with his fork. “Or boys.”

Connor stop spinning. “Boys,” he echoes.

Evan clears his throat. “Uh, yeah um. Boys? I like. Boys are. Boys…” He looks up to see Connor trying to hold back a smile. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I’m bi,” Evan says, giving up. “I’m bi, okay? I’m— boys are nice. Girls are nice. People are nice? I don’t know.”

Connor laughs. “Cool. I’m gay. I agree with you. ‘Boys’. Real deep, Ev.”

Evan groans. “Come on.”

“But this works,” Connor says. “We can talk about boys. And not girls, because no offense, I don’t want to hear you talk about,” he points to the room next to them.

Evan blinks. “What?”

“Are we still pretending that your really awkward crush on my sister doesn’t exist?” Connor asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh. Oh yeah. That. I don’t think that, um, that’s…a thing anymore?” Connor tilts his head and Evan puts his bowl down on the bed. “I-I mean, she’s great! She’s still nice and pretty and I like… I like talking to her but not…that way? I don’t think that I like her like that anymore.”

“Good, because I didn’t want to think about that,” Connor says.

Evan rolls his eyes.

“Sorry if I find it weird that my best friend,” Evan doesn’t miss the way Connor’s eyebrows raise on ‘best friend’, “had a crush on my sister.”

“Anyway,” Evan says, desperate to change the subject to literally anything else. He looks around the room and his eyes land on Connor’s overflowing bookshelves. “I, um, talked to Alana? She said you like english?”

Connor shrugs. “It’s okay.”

“What’s your favorite book?”

Connor’s eyes light up. “Just one? I mean, shit that would have to be Le Petit Prince.”

Evan nods slowly. “Okay… I don’t know that one.”

“It’s French,” Connor says. “The english title is the Little Prince. There’s a movie version on Netflix, we should watch it sometime.”

Evan’s chest feels a little funny. “Okay, yeah.”

“But I’ll find my copy,” Connor says, squinting at the bookshelves. “You should read it. You…might like it. It’s not that long, if that helps.”

“What’s it about?”

Connor leans back in his chair with a small smile on his face. “It’s about a kid who leaves his planet to travel the universe. It’s— there’s more than that. But you have to read it yourself.”

Evan nods. Because maybe this is how he learns more about Connor. And Evan would do anything to understand him better.

Evan walks over the the Murphys’ on Saturday. Connor offers a ride, but Evan doesn’t mind the walk. The air is bitterly cold and tastes like winter. It’s the tail end of October, but Evan thinks that Mother Nature may be cheating them out of a bit of fall.

Cynthia opens the door with a smile when he knocks. She takes his coat and hangs it up, asking if he wants anything to eat. Evan rejects her offer as always and heads upstairs to Connor’s room.

Connor is laying on the floor. He holds a book open above him, arms straight. Evan wonders if that’s a comfortable way to read.

Evan knocks on the doorframe.

Connor looks away from his book and smiles. “‘Sup.”

“Don’t you have an essay?” Evan asks. He pulls Connor’s chair away from his desk and sits down. “For Beowulf? Alana’s been working on it for days.”

“It’s Saturday,” Connor says dramatically. “Shabbat, Ev. I can’t work.”

Evan raises an eyebrow. “You’re defining work as ‘doing homework’?”

Connor puts his book down on his chest. “Yes.”

“Do you ever do homework?”

There’s a long pause before Connor props himself up on his elbows. “One, fuck off. Two…fuck you. It’ll be fine. Fuck the essay. Fuck my grades. Fuck school. And honestly? Fuck Beowulf. We get it manly man warrior man. You’re a man.”

“Manly man warrior man?” Evan asks. “You sound like you’re talking about the football players.”

Connor snorts and sits up all the way. “Nice, Ev. Remember when I thought you were a nice person?”

Evan pushes away from the desk and wheels toward the center of the room, closer to Connor. “No. I don’t remember you calling me nice. A pushover, maybe.”

Connor leans forward and shoves Evan’s chair back. “Shut up. I definitely told you you were nice at least once. I take it back.”

Evan holds onto the seat of the chair as the chair moves away from Connor. “That’s rude, Con.”

Connor stares at him for a moment. Then he looks away and pulls his hair up into a messy bun. “Do you mind if I paint while we talk about whatever shit we talk about today?”

“Nope.” Evan spins himself so he’s fully facing Connor again. He won’t say it, but he’s been interested in Connor’s art since he first mentioned it. There’s always paintbrushes and water cups lying around Connor’s room, but he’s never seen an actual painting from him. “Will it hurt your hand? Lana said she was taking notes for you in english.”

Connor makes a face. “I’ll be fine. Alana likes to worry. And work. It’ll be a little sore but I’ll be careful. Don’t worry about me, Ev.”

Evan chews on his bottom lip. Too late. Much too late.

“What do you want to talk about today?” Connor asks. He pulls a sketchbook out of his bookshelves and a thin white box. He grabs his water cups off the desk and sits on the floor.

“What do you do with your art?” Evan asks, tilting his head.

Connor reaches under his bed and pulls out a roll of paper towels. “What do you mean?”

“Uh… I mean, I know some people post their art on like…the internet? I was just— do you do that? Or is it just for yourself?”

Connor puffs out his cheeks as he opens up the white box— watercolors. One of the colors is completely gone and the others look used. “I’ve, uh, got a few embarrassing accounts from like…middle school? Fucking angst fest disasters those are. Haven’t done anything with any art recently,” he admits. “I kind of…gave up for a while.” He opens his sketchbook and Evan catches a page full of purples and greens before Connor turns to a page with a pencil sketch on it. “So I’m trying to figure out what the fuck is happening.” He dips a paintbrush in a water cup and looks up at Evan. “I have no clue what the fuck is happening.”

Evan laughs. “I never know what the fuck is happening.”

Connor points his paintbrush at Evan. “And that’s why we’re friends.”

Evan smiles and pretends it doesn’t hurt.

—«·»—

Connor almost falls out of bed when Cynthia shouts his name. Evan looks up from Connor’s laptop in surprise. They lock eyes as Connor rolls out of bed.

“Be right back,” he says. “Hopefully.”

Connor’s barely been gone for a minute when Zoe’s poking her head into Connor’s room.

“What’s up?” she asks. She has her hair pulled up into a top knot and some sort of green face mask covering her face.

Evan stares at her.

Zoe rolls her eyes. “I know. I look like a monster.”

“I wasn’t going to say that,” Evan says, sitting up in bed. “We’re just watching YouTube.”

“Lame.” She leans against the doorframe. “I still think your friendship with my brother is weird.”

Evan laughs and it feels a little breathless. “Yeah it’s… You aren’t the only one.”

“Jared?”

He nods.

Zoe looks over her shoulder. “Figures. I don’t know how you two became…a thing really,” Evan tries not to make a face, “but like… I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I think it’s good for both of you. Weird.”

“Weird,” Evan murmurs.

A thing. They aren’t a thing. Jared calls people ‘a thing’ when he’s talking about people who are dating. And Connor and Evan are just fake friends. That’s not a thing. It just…is.

He won’t let himself think about that. That’s…too much.

“Are you bothering Evan?” Connor asks, squeezing past Zoe when she refuses to move.

“We’re just having a talk.” Zoe winks at Evan.

Connor looks between them. “About…?”

“Nothing,” she singsongs before walking away.

Connor stares at Evan.

“It really was nothing,” Evan promises. “She just asked what we were doing.”

“Oh.” Connor flops down on the bed next to Evan. “Whatever. Want to go back to uh…” He squints at the screen. “Were we really just watching a guy make bread?”

Evan nods. “Yeah. How did you forget so quickly?”

“I think I zoned,” Connor admits. He grabs a pillow and wraps his arms around it. “Whatever. Let’s do this.”

“You say that like we’re about to do something life changing,” Evan murmurs as he presses play.

“Maybe we are,” Connor mumbles into his pillow.

—«·»—

Evan stares at his ceiling.

He can’t stop thinking. His brain almost never shuts up, but right now it’s worse. Because it’s not anxiety.

It’s Connor.

Everything about Connor. His smiles. His laugh. The way he runs his hand through his hair. How he leans over a little bit to talk to Evan.

Oh.

Oh no.

#evan hansen #connor murphy #tree bros #convan #deh fanfic #my fics #to have a friend

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designteatimeblog · 4 years

Photo

VISUALISATION EXERCISE: 10 years from now.

In my last post, i had left a link to a video recording of a lecturer instructing an exercise to students. At the beginning, you’re instructed to close your eyes and imagine your life according to the questions asked. Once you open your eyes, you take paper and pen and write down as much as you can remember from what you had imagined through those questions.

In ten years time; My parents will be old, My Husband 39 and I will be 36. Its crazy in my head really, but so thrilling and exciting at the same time! My brother who i never see as older than 17 will be 33! and an uncle to my children, hopefully old enough to be in school by this point. In this time, i’ve achieved ALOT! I’ve graduated uni, worked along side my father (an architect who inspired my to get where i am in ten years), I have a beautiful family, a gorgeous cat i always dreamed of owning, in the beautiful home i designed when we bought land. I started my own business in interior design, after working with my dad for 5 years and im enjoying the new role. In the morning, i start my day off as if it were ten years ago, with a coffee and some jazz/blues in the background, while i sit on my beautiful balcony in the home i designed and enjoy the sunrise. So what’s different here? I have children rushing to join me for cuddles when they get out of bed, and an amazing husband who gets them ready for school and himself for work, while i prepare myself. I put on a loud suit, or one of my gorgeous coats i have hanging in my huge WIR, finish every outfit with LV boots and i’m ready to head to my gorgeous studio in the city. My studio sits on the top floor of an 11 story building, looking over the city and ocean in the distances. WHAT A DREAM. My studio has been a progression of design style of 6 years after graduation, with elements that make my work day easier and so aesthetically pleasing as soon as you walk in the door. Entering my studio, i have colours of browns, oranges, creams, whites, with hints of gold and an exposed industrial looking ceiling, copper pipes blending with the colours below. I have gorgeous leather lounges to relax, a huge white table with chairs for meetings and conferences, my work benches and 3 computers. I have my partners work benches across from mine, with pictures hanging on the walls and bundles on the floors. Indoor plants bring life to my studio, i’m also maybe obsessed but i promise i haven’t gone overboard. I am a highly successful interior designer and i worked my butt off to get here. Creating beautiful and memorable work all across the world for clients and people i can now call friends. Having all the professionals i met along the way supporting me and my father being by my side since day one, my work is highly appreciated, loved and wanted. My clients, peers and friends can see this and talk about how desirable and unique my work is. How happy it makes people, how enjoyable it is to experience, word travels fast. Hard work, dedication and good repor has allowed me to become the successful designer i dreamed of back at uni 10 years ago. My office day finishes at 2:30pm, so i can pick my children up from school. I drive my dream car to and from work, i have my own car space (you need them in the city). You guessed it though, my actual day doesn’t finish there. I’m not complaining, Coming home at the end of the day to my family and the perfect dream home is all i could have wished for. It’s the best part of my day. It’s the real success for me. I cook delicious meals in my huge kitchen for everyone, we get settled for the night and i make sure i finish anything i needed to. I get to kiss my family goodnight, fall asleep next to my Husband, to be able to wake up and see the sunrise again. I really hope in 10 years, i can look back at this visualisation text and hope that my life went really similar and ends up as close to that as possible. Im going to work as hard as i can and do my best to get there.

0 notes

surveymeupmate · 7 years

Text

Survey w/ ella

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? e- no. not yet. no, dont put that

k- defo not

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? e- idk

k- in some ways

Do you like someone? e- yes

k- sadly

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? e- no, i luv em

k- no

Are you happier now or three months ago? e- probably now but only a tiny bit more

k- defo three months ago lmao

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? e- saw jack, it was good, it was nice

k- ...

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? e- never

k- dead

Are you waiting for something? e- probably yeh

k- exams to be finished

If you could change your eye color would you? e- nah i dont suit any others

k- the ones that are like two colours or a brighter green

What was the weather like today? e- shit

k- the usual

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? e- fuck knows

k- hopefully not

Does your ex still love/like you? e- no

k- hahahahahahahahahah

Are you stubborn? e- yes

k- depends

Do you tend to hold a grudge? e- depends, i can do

k- depends

Where were you at 9am this morning? e- in bed, not my bed but a bed

k- same but my bed

How has the week been? e- good? yeh, good. a bad start but finished off great

k- a rollercoaster

Did you go out or stay in last night? e- went out, well i stayed in but not in mine

k- both

Something you do a lot? e- complain

k- overthink

How many states have you lived in? e- 0

k- none

Can you commit to one person? e- yeh

k- not at the moment

Who was the last person to hold your hand? e- jack

k- tom :////

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? e- depends, like i dont have a specific 3 strikes and ur out

k- same

Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? e- i hope so

k- same

What do you miss most about your ex? e- nothing cos we’re besties

k- im not getting into this rn

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? e- yeh

k- nope

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? e- he loves oasis n he’s cute

k- hes a dick

Something you really want right now? e- *sexual thoughts*

k- emotional stability

e- yeah that would be nice as well

How long have you liked the person you like? e- a month but ive mega liked him for the past few weeks

k- proper liked him since the 6th of may

Does any part of your body hurt right now? e- my side a tiny bit but not rly... actually i have a headache now i think about it

k- my throat

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? e- yeh i think everyone saw me

k- no

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? e- yeh now

k- same

Are you happy with the way things are going? e- some of them

k- not at all i want to die™

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? e- maybe

k- hopefully not

What plans do you have for tomorrow? e- dying and also being dead

k- same

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? e- *shakes head*

k- idk man

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? e- urm no

k- not my all but a bit

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? e- yeh only a few times, many times

k- yeah

Do you and your last ex hate each other? e- no

k- no but we should

When was the last time you were sick? e- like a week ago

k- maybe soon

Are you one of those people who are always cold? e- no

k- yes

Do you tend to waste a lot of money?

e- probably

k- yes

Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

e- nooooo?

k- yes

When was the last time you got a haircut? e- a month or two ago

k- a while ago

Did you sing at all today? e- yeh

k- yeh

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? e- the weather cos i dont drive

k- same

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? e- noo?

k- i think i might ?

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? e- typing, but it has to be a laptop

k- texting

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? e- give it away

k- depends

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? e- fuck knows

k- emotions are not real, simply chemicals to help us survive

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? e- neither, im not arsed

k- idk man

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? e- skinny

k- same

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? e- i want to say break dancer because they are cooler but being a ballerina is peng so in conclusion neither

k- break dancer

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? e- in the stands

k- i rly dont give a shit about baseball tbh

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? e- Luigi, no mario, actually neither *goes on the name all the characters in the franchise*

k- idk man

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? e- probaly, yeh like on the beach

k- yeh

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? e- 4 and 1

k- 4

Yes or no: Techno music?

e- neither can it depends

k- idk

Yes or no: pigtails?

e- sometimes

k- sure

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? e- do they?

k- a lot of things

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? e- well yeh

k- yeh

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? e- no

k- i dont think so

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? e- i could but id get sick of the paparazzi

k- maybe idk

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? e- no

k- i dont think so

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? e- yeh loads

k- shes legit in front of me rn

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? e- funny

k- depends how im feeling but funny most of the time

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? e- yeh but i have them all the time

k- maybe idk

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? e- yeh

k- yeh

How old is your oldest cousin? e- i am the oldest cousin so 17

k- idk late 20s

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? e- id be like katie why are you holding ur own hand lol

k- i dont think she would tbh

Your last relationship, who dumped who? e- katie dumped me what a dickhead, wait we never actually broke up, katie im breaking up with u

k- it was mutual, kind of

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? e- 16

k- 14 i think.

Is your home town nice? e- no, not the town center anyways, its a mess

k- its better than some places i guess

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? e- it would be fun ;)

k- idk man, it would be chill

When/where did your last hug take place? e- in toms brothers bed this morning, more of a cuddle than a hug

k- in toms doorway last night

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? e- yeh

k-obvs

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? e- yeh, i know my mums entire life

k- a little bit

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? e- dunno katie but obvs not rn

k- ella probs

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? e- yeh

k- yeh

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? e- yes and yes

k- yes and no

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? e- idk what this phrase means

k- i would b like ella what about jack

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. e- no

k- no

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? e- no

k- asleep cos i love sleep but im happy chilling atm

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? e- can do

k- a lil bit

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? e- no

k- i think it was something to do w/ shit that is stressing me out but i cant remember that well

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amarimeta · 7 years

Text

100 questions

@writerinthedarkabyss tagged me to answer these 100 questions! if you feel like answering please do so and tag me in it!

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

not exactly,,, i always lowkey like people but it’s never an actual thing

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

yeah, it was a misunderstanding

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

my friend who loves cats

4: What’s something you really want right now?

motivation to do my homework

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

yep because im on the aro spectrum and it’s a mess for me

6: Do you like the beach?

yes!!! i used to go all the time when i was younger.

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

sure all the time at friends house

8: What’s the background on your cell?

a picture of lana :)

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

mine, i assume zoe’s, idk i don’t sit on many people’s beds as im realizing??

10: Do you like your phone?

yeah its a 6s

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

nope but i didnt plan too much

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

i think it was someone at an anime convention not sure tho

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

rottweiler

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

zoo

16: Are you tired?

always

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

going by alphabet so since 3rd grade

18: Are they a relative?

nope it’s an ex friend

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

yeah

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

statistically speaking it was kate so today

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

it’s kate of course i would

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

one it’s the ace colors and zoe got it for me

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

not really

25: What’s on your mind?

i haven’t started my homework and its 11 pm

26: Do you have any tattoos?

not yet

27: What is your favorite color?

cyan??

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

probably kate at some convention

29: Who are you texting?

zoe rn

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

i don’t think so ???

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

yeah

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

sure

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

maybe??? idk im a horrible judge of this

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

don’t recall

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

GOOD FOR YOU KATE!!!!! WHATS HER NAME TELL ME MORE

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

yes

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

yall kate is my best friedn i love her

38: What do your friends call you?

Ace, Carter, KIDDO

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

yep

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

yeah

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

my knee from bumping into stuff

42: What is it from?

oops

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

everyday at school

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my dad lol

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

my boots but theyre super old now

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

not that often

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

maybe?

48: Do you make supper for your family?

sometimes not often

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

yeah

50: Top 3 web-pages?

ao3, tumblr, netflix

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

yeah

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

MY LEGS RN ARE SO SORE FOR NO REASON

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

yeah

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

cream soda today

55: How is your hair?

normal/? idk lol its wet rn

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

check my phone

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

yes

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

yeah lol

59: Green or purple grapes?

green grapes unless theyre frozen then purple

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

lol whenever i see a friend in the hallway

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

yeah !!! always

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

im texting kate rn

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

in my bed asleep hopefully

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

waking up

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

yes i think we were dating at this point correct me if im wrong

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

lol actors and friends

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

of course i hugged my friends!!!

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

wow i should have gone to sleep earlier

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yep

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

three

71: How many fingers do you have?

okay so apparently thumbs arent fingers??? eight i guess

72: What is your ringtone?

regina’s true love theme from ouat

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

still 15 :(

74: Where is your Mum right now?

MY ONLY MUM IS @lost-your-memory

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

it’s wild and she follows me

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

probably with a friendo

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

some people yeah

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

yeah we dated lol

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

not off the top of my head

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

i cuddle with friends all the time

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

dont attack me like this

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

in like the changing room in pe?

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

maybe

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

idk i haven’t been drunk

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

yes

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

THESE KIDS WOULDNT SHUT UP IT WAS SO RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL I COULD RANT FOR AN HOUR ABOUT IT

87: Who was your last received call from?

zoe lol

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

fuck my heart and head say no but my hands say money

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

time, sleep, motivation, money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

92: Do you get along with girls?

yeah

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

i dont think so?

94: Does sex mean love?

hope not im ace

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

IT’S KATE we will probably marathon akb or something

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

yes

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yeah : )

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

my heart says yes but my mind says no

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promised?

i dont know lol

OKAY THAT WAS SUPER LONG BUT YAY I DID IT THANKS FOR TAGGING ME

#ace.txt #long post #this is so long yall #ask meme

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thebaytobroadway · 7 years

Text

Finding Balance

From auditions, dance classes and workshops with casting directors to meetings, compliance training and status reports, Im trying to find the right balance. The secret sauce, if you will. And let me tell you, it's HARD! Balancing the business world with the world of art (which, by the way is a business, and the product is me), and everything else in life is challenging. I'm feeling the strain lately as I go from taking Dougie out to exercising. I ride the train or bus an hour to an audition or coaching, I sing, I work on my lines, I prep for auditions and callbacks, and then finally end up at a cafe to boot up my computer and get work done, coordinate meetings and accomplish some things before calling it quits. Some days are long. Commuting takes longer in the snow or cold for some reason and winter here has been extremely unpredictable. I try to make time for friends, spend time working on myself through meditation, eating healthy, etc. I date...(side note, dating in 2017 sucks!). My life is incredibly full in all the best ways and I still can't help but wonder, am I doing enough in all the elements of my life? I'm single and hyper aware of that fact, am I social enough? I have gotten a few new opportunities for shows and I'm going out on auditions but is this effort going to pay off? My day job is incredible and I want to provide the highest quality of service as possible, am I giving them enough? John Mayer has a song "Why Georgia" with the lyric "am I living it right?" And I think that's where I'm at right now. Wondering if it's all just going to fall into place and reveal itself soon, or if I just keep going and only in hindsight will I truly see the progress, effort and payoffs. I miss my family and friends in the Bay so much sometimes it hurts. But still, I owe it to myself to stay true to this path and this dream and find the balance. So, when I start to question if I'm living it right, I try to think of the alternative. What would I be doing if I wasn't here? I'd probably be doing well at work, doing community and regional theatre on the side. Maybe I'd travel with girlfriends, maybe I'd have a man and hopefully I would be content with my life close to friends and family. But I wouldn't have had the experience of living in New York City. This place with a heart beat so strong you can't help but dance to the rhythm as you walk down the crowded streets. I wouldn't have learned to develop my body, my instrument in a way that is tremendously satisfying. My voice is so strong, my body is in good shape and I enjoy the constant challenge of getting better at my craft! If I stayed in Cali, I would never have traveled this country with Mamma Mia! I would have never seen places like Montana, South Dakota, Ohio, Vermont, Georgia. I wouldn't have experienced all the sunsets, rolling hills, vast plains, mountains or the beautiful people. I wouldn't have had to save, plan and rise to the challenge of having my own place in a city that never sleeps and rent prices are no exception. I would never have met incredible friends like LaShawn, Luke, and Ali. People who are genuine and kind and who understand what this challenge is like and they stay anyway. Dreamers. I would never have found "Sing for Hope" a non profit organization that sends volunteer artists into the community to uplift the sick, elderly, and youth of the five boroughs through art. I would never have experienced a new community here with the man at the grocery store who always says hello and asks me if I need help with anything. My neighbors who are good, honest people and they love Dougie and don't complain about my singing every day! The people at the coffee shop who recognize me as the girl who dances to the tunes they play and orders an almond milk latte when she's feeling fancy (which lately has been quite often)! New York is hard. Finding balance is hard. This career causes a lot of heartache, as do many of the pathways we choose. But in the end. It is worth every second, every tear, every bead of sweat and every ounce of energy. I'm forever grateful to those who have helped make this possible for me. My teachers, mentors, directors, bosses, parents, choreographers, friends, people I follow on Instagram for inspiration (and now Twitter!), and even the guy on the 3rd floor who always calls me a "movie star" (in a non-creepy-sounds-like-a-grandpa-or-old-uncle kinda way) when I'm headed out. These compliments happen a lot when I'm on my way to a date or to an audition, which can I tell you, is a MAJOR confidence boost! All these people are propelling me forward little by little, step by step. They're showing me the path and I'm faithful they're leading me in the right direction. So, even today at 3:30am when I was woken up because my bathroom ceiling was leaking, through the light fixture and I thought to myself, "this is NOT good." I realize these are just mini hurdles I'm well equipped to handle. Thank God (and Bryan) this building is 10 times better than my last one and within 30 minutes the super had answered his phone and gone upstairs to stop the water and start fixing whatever their problem was and ultimately will fix mine. By the way, having your ceiling leak is just one way short people can get a light bulb replaced when they can reach to change it, even with a stool! 😉 But seriously, overall I feel glad to be here even though there are significant ups and downs. Balance is hard. I'm sure we all feel the strain one way or another. But we've got to keep our eye one the prize. Savor the good times and learn from the challenges life throws our way. Living in the present, acknowledging when I'm sad and accepting what is, are my tactics to get over the hurdles. So far, after writing it all down, I think I'm living it right. What about you?

#spreadjoy17 #lovejustlove #balancedlife #nyc #actorslife

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survivor-rebelsvsroyals · 4 years

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EPISODE 6:Sorry hosts and viewers but we're keeping the inactivish girl. -Ryan M

My new tribe kinda slaps? It’s just nice playing with people who have the fight to win. We fucking S L A Y E D Jeopardy. Ken Jennings who? It felt so good helping my tribe win. For this reward comp I’m a little worried because we have a good system but if someone doesn’t show up, we’ll all hit 5 and be screwed. Also poor Glo, she’s just out here doing her best. She’s cute, but I don’t want that to carry her to the end like it did in Mongolia.

Finally have my computer back, so I can start writing confessionals as I think about the game. It sucks that Chloe was voted out. She was definitely my #1 ally in the game, so seeing her leave just sucks. And now I am on a tribe with 4 Royals who would be happy to vote me out the second we get to tribal council. I doubt my social game will let me leave here alive if we go to tribal. Instead, I just have to make sure we don't go to tribal. I need to put in all my effort in the next immunity challenge lest I want to be in the VL watching the rest of this season.

* a little later*

I've been socially active with Seamus and Amanda today. I hope I can grow a tight bond with them in order to keep myself safe for tribals to come. Especially if I manage to get to merge with a tight three. I'm praying that things work out because I need this for my own sanity.

It’s truly like babysitting this tribe lmao Like I know this is reward but how fucking hard is it to post on time. I worked a 9 hour shift today and still posted on time when I said I would. We have the lead, like why squander it. Also, I’m hoping we win out to til merge because I really don’t want to go into a tribal at swap in the minority. I feel like I might be making myself a target bc I’m being a little aggressive with this comp BUT I regret nothing.

I feel like I’ve been too MIA I’m kind of just ready for a tribal so I can get a little blood on my hands! Sorry I am the most boring player ever I’ll post something juicy tomorrow

I'm glad that we won the reward challenge. It must be a good omen for the next one, but I have to put in twice as much effort! I'm not planning on being the next one booted, so this tribe needs to pull its weight and get to winning!

Well I don;t know if I am coming or going or who is with me and who is not. I was lost on reward challenge and posted few times but they all offered to help me lol So how is my game ok I guess but I feel lost in a wilderness cause I think lots of these players know each other very well and I am lost

I feel so bad for Chloe. I stopped talking to her after Seamus told me she was debating between voting for me or Amanda. I feel like we all felt like we liked Chloe but we've spent so much time together. And also maybe a pagoning or w/e would be a little fun!!!! She's so sweet I wish she started off a royal.

Well I just BOMBED that challenge. I love to read but suddenly my mind went blank and I could only think of books with long titles! HAHA. I majored in art in college for a year and suddenly I forgot every color in existence! Hopefully the other tribes blanked so we'll be safe. 0:-) If not... maybe the royals will stay together but no lie, I've been talking to John and Lachie more than Pippa and Ryan.

I'm happy two tribes are going to tribal. Because I really want to see them vote ugly people out!!! But also if we go to tribal nbd Raffy goes. He's completely okay! But I love Seamus and Amanda and I think I can also get Anabel to trust me come merge time. xo

I am praying to god all-mighty that we win

WE LITERALLY COULD'VE WON IF ANABEL DID EVEN HALF THE CHALLENGE!!!!! I was so down to get rid of Raffy... still could... I like Anabel. But... I already feel bad about voting out Chloe and this time it's like... obvi Ana deserves to be voted out... ugh

I hope the 5 movies Glo could muster up in 60 seconds were all of the Twilight franchise movies

*Dan comes back ten minutes later*

Okay but real talk, 5 movies??? Glo you could only name 5 movies in 60 seconds? If she had done as well as Asya and gotten 28 we wouldn’t have gone to tribal. I really pray I can get Dane or Linus to team up with Asya and I. I mean if it comes down to it and I have to vote out Asya, I guess she better get those bags packed!

I am so pissed that we lost. We easily could have won this competition if Anabel had participated, but she's evidently bad at time management. If you knew you were going to be busy the next day, why wouldn't you do the challenge the night it was posted? I'm so over it! For once, I didn't want to have to go to tribal, but now I can't even have that. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure that I am the target since I am not a Royal which is utter bullshit. Hopefully my social game has paid off and I have bonded enough with these people, but I am not too sure about that. I'll just have to put it all my effort into saving myself, or my game is sunk. Pray for me.

* a little later*

I think I can get Seamus. He and I have talked a lot during the limited amount of time we've had together. I want to consider him an ally, but I'm not sure if he hasn't been doing this with everyone else. My target is going to be Anabel for three reasons: 1. She is a winner (literally won last season) which makes a threat going into merge 2. She singlehandedly lost us the challenge 3. I haven't personally talked to her a lot so she's the easiest to target for me I want to get everyone on board, but I need to not pester them. However, I cannot just let the vote casually go towards me either. I'm not going out without a fight

OK SO. glo sucks at challenges. like it’s real bad. which is good for me. cause linus is like he doesn’t have any allegiances or whatever to old arioi and just wants to succeed so like. let’s cut the dead weight. obviously dan is down and that’s all we need. i’d like to get dane on board too but it’s not necessary. like really, i just wanna keep my no vote streak. which means if dane and glo vote for a manahune, it’s dan and not me.

Seamus brought up Anabel's name to me which is a good sign. He also told me that I shouldn't worry about being the only Rebel, and he is open to keeping/working with me. I hope he's telling the truth. Apparently, he's only talked to me about the vote, so I am hoping that's a good sign. Now I need to approach Amanda and Ryan. If one just votes for Ryan, then I should be good.

*he talks a lot*

Amanda seems open, but reserved. She's acting noncommittal which is worrying for me. I have to speak with Ryan later and get him on board. Keeping this tribe together will help me going into a merge. I'm just hoping Amanda joins my side and not Anabel's, in the end. There is still time to save myself.

youtube

So tribal council is coming up soon and I legit have no idea what I'm doing. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get voted out tonight since I'm spreading myself too thin. I have a couple ideas going on through my head and I can't decipher which plan will be the best to project me moving forward. The first plan I have is to stay royal strong and vote out Asya. I have Glo and Linus as fellow Royals to make the majority. If I do successfully blindside Dan and Asya tonight then we have the majority going into the last pre-merge stage. However, Glo isn't the strongest in challenges and this could result in us going back to tribal council. If we do go back to tribal council then there is the chance that Dan can pull out an idol and take me out. If we don't even go to tribal then there's no chance of me rebuilding the burnt bridge with Dan prior to going to the merge, resulting in another person coming after me. Also continuing into merge, I imagine I'm at the bottom of the royals tribe. People can "like" me but that doesn't necessarily mean that they want to work with me. I'd be continuing this trend of saving people that don't want to work with me. The other plan in place is for Linus and I to team up with Dan and Asya to vote out Glo. If we are possibly merging after tonight then voting out Glo in my opinion is one of the smartest decisions. She is very well liked and she's a very loyal player, I don't think she will ever be targeted and it'll be an easy flow for her to get to the end of the game. Also, Linus was telling me that Anabel talks to Glo A LOT, and that lowkey just reinforces this idea that I created of an all-winners alliance existing. If we have another tribal stage I don't imagine that it will be a double trial again so getting rid of Glo (the weakest competitor on our tribe) might be the best decision for the tribe. Also with getting rid of Glo, this helps solidify some sort of allegiance with Dan + Asya. Going into the merge with Linus, Dan, Asya would open up so many doors. Dan and Asya are very close with the rest of the Rebels plus, Dan and Amanda are high school friends. I spoke to Dan and I think we'd possibly team up to take out Ryan M. Ryan M. always plays these games personally and votes out Dan, and now that him and I are not on great terms Ryan will target me. I explained that to Dan that neither of us would win with Ryan M. still in the game so we need to pull strength and get him out together. Plus we matched on Tinder one time so that'll help build some trust with Dan. Right now I think the benefits of voting out Glo outweighs voting out Asya so I think that's how we'll go. You can't predict the future but I can outweigh the pros and cons and keeping Dan + Asya on my side while pissing off the Royals majority might benefit me more than being a sheep led to slaughter

I lied to Raffy about not voting him... I mean he's not dumb he probably has a string inkling. I just feel bad . Like Anabel deserves to go home but I think she'll save me in the future. Plus she has beef with Lachie we can feed off of. I'm sorry Chloe and Im sorry Raffy. Sorry hosts and viewers but we're keeping the inactivish girl.

So Um the votes landed on Glo? Super easily? So I’m assuming I’m getting blindsided

I think I should be good for this tribal. Everyone has given me their word that they are voting Anabel, and Seamus seems trustworthy. I just hope my trust his well-placed.

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survivorelara · 6 years

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Episode #1: “So thank you Gods and Goddesses.” -Ci’ere

three people on this tribe are 100% pros they have mangastars as their pfp im scared

Okay, this is my second time typing this because I accidentally deleted the first attempt ASDF. Hello every1 out there 👽 I'm so thrilled to be playing Elara because I know that the hosts are going to make this an awesome experience! We began our journey about an hour & a half ago, but something tremendous has already occured... I happened to snatch the Zosma idol on my first guess! Something about the placement of the 39th star spoke to me & luck was definitely on my side, so thank you celestial gods and goddesses! I’m kind of wondering if the idol locations & the iconic phrase “18 people, 39 days, 1 Survivor” have any correlation. Hmm. :O Even though I have some power to fall back on now, I don’t wanna have to rely on the idol to save myself so I’m stepping up to the plate socially to hopefully solidify myself in this group. I was hyped before, but this hype train has went through the ceiling!

Not only am I in this game with like many other Facebook ORGers.... I'm the least popular of them all. Like I see Emma, Ci'ere, Andrea and Toby... like they have a good friend group and people generally like them. Me on the other hand, I get easily annoyed with certain people and groups within this community and I have been told that I am a rainy and dark cloud. I mean, LOVE the comparison... but when you're in a "scavenger hunt" and one of the things is to get 50 reactions on a post and I average about 5-6... it ain't looking good for this bitch. And ITS ONLY DAY 1.

Great question. I am trying to figure that out. I realize not knowing discord puts me at s disadvantage. Let’s hope we win till I can figure it out.

Well I like this tribe, I'm feeling good about things at the moment, I've talked to loris, Andreaa, and John who I had a prior relationship with. They all seem nice enough. I'm hoping to make more connections with people in the near future, because with only 6 people on the tribe I need to make ABSOLUTE sure I'm in the numbers.

I'm such a flop, I did almost all my voice recordings on my phone while I accidentally left voice chat on. My Computer Mic isn't great and it was only for a little while, nobody said anything, so I don't know if anybody caught anything I might have said for the challenge, but the worst thing that might have been caught was my statement about Dani

We're approaching the end of Day 1 and I don't think I've made much progress with anyone other than John... this tribe is very quiet, and I don't know if that's due to many different timezones, or inactivity, or what have you. Regardless I'm a little worried about this challenge, but hopefully a win can be pulled out.

Its so quiet dawg

ok i love selfie scavenger hunts so this challenge is great. as for my tribe mates, roxy and i are in F6 in atomic together, so thats a interesting. Drew H was in that season and like. i have no idea what our relationship is going to be like ydgfs. the only person who I haven't talked to at all is Odd. i should get on that

Oh these motherfuckers think they got me found. They think they know me. Expect drama.

My tribe is ducking stacked with people I like so this is hot hopefully we can get this scav hunt done and get max point WEW

Well. I’m doing another one. Do I have the time? Nope! Is this a good idea? No ma’am/sir. But I’m doing it anyway. This is an...interesting tribe for me to be on. I have my one true love, Sam Drachus, and a tribe of people that probably don’t know he’s my husband. Of course, a pregame relationship never equates to an ingame relationship necessarily, so I will not rest in my socialisation (especially given I will have ass for physical game for a while). Louise I’ve hosted twice, Ci’ere I’ve hosted and played with. Dani and Brian I don’t really know properly but they seem very inactive. I am quite sure we will lose this challenge, but hopefully I can be active and bond-build enough to be Victorious!!

i hate this challenge because im so lazy

hi!! so my social game is going pretty good so far, i'm v tight with andrea, emma and i said we don't want each other to go, john's an icon and i like talking to zach. kori doesn't talk a lot so he'll probably be an ez boot. also i think im gonna end up with the most points for our immunity so that'll probably let me be spared if we do end up losing :)))). ALSO,,,,,,,,, i found the legacy advantage bc i clicked on seamus' manga on the tumblr?? of course they hid it behind the ugly one... no one looks there.

So our first challenge is a cute scavenger hunt & one of the 10 point items is getting 50 likes on a FB post. When I initially made the post, only a few people reacted to it so I knew I was going to have to do something drastic in order to get more people’s attention. I stole Nicki Minaj’s brand & started running KWEENT (6 letters Jack :p) Radio! I put in a lot of work to get people to help me out, but I also wanted to have fun with it & in the end it paid off. I’mma bit worried however since only Louise, Sam & I have made contributions to the challenge thus far. We don’t have that much time left & there’s still three empty columns... I’ve been talking a lot to Dani who I find I probably relate to the most. They made it pretty far in the actual Survivor casting process & they have also been talking to Sam. Sam is so nice & has that straight male humor, YEET. Louise is obviously a kween & we’ve played together before so I think I could work something out with her? Toby’s timezone & schedule is tough to work through, but I think I might be able to charm him up hehe. Brian is the only person that hasn’t shown any sign of life so I’ve been pushing for him, but of course he shows up now ASDFG.

Did so many challenges but have trouble uploading to gdoc

Anxiety is a bitch. Like I already have alot of it due to work and school, but for us to be submitting things for the scavenger hunt last minute... that made my heart quicken a bit more than needed. ESPECIALLY if your video links for the video portion of the hunt DON'T WORK. Like wth ODD? Like if you're gonna submit late.. like at least check the damn links so you can actually win the points for the videos that you are submitting. OH AND IN OTHER WORDS. I didn't think Jack was gonna view my poem to him. And he watched it. I have no words. Like let me die of embarrassment because I am flummoxed with a straight man once again in my life. ALL FOR 6 MEASLY POINTS IN A GAME! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!?

That's so FETCH! Even with Odd's bumbling incapabilities, he can make us get a narrow win for reward! Maybe my frustrations were misplaced with him! But I am glad that I will not be the first boot and get to stay here for another 3 days or so! Pumped!

well just as i thought,,, TRASH this tribe has good people that i like but apart from ci'ere CHILEEEEEEE we sucked so bad we didn't deserve to win. I think it's brian that's going tbh he wasn't active till the last 4? hours of the comp and people have already said if we lose it's him so yikes guess that's what is happening.

we won the challenge which is actually surprising. Odd's links didn't work but if they did I would've had the lowest score. I was gonna do so much more but my phone won't charge !! and i went to a college fair ok. I love how i said i was good at comps during my live interview. i swear im not a liar hosts

Woo we won, I put a fair amount of work in, so I'm glad we got results... unfortunately it didn't REALLY matter because of how badly the losing tribe did.

I think I have a decent shot of making a 4-person alliance with John, Andrea, and Loris. Hopefully I can get that going through. Emma is LIKELY the weak link on the tribe, which is fine by me she has yet to talk to me really, so I'd have no qualms voting her out.

I have a funny story. I spent a half hour walking and looking for a license plate with ce on it. I had to use scooter plates. Half the cars only have one letter. When I finally found the plate parked in front of a restaurant . I got on one knee to take the pic. It was night so flash went out. A guy came out and demanded I delete the photo. Not kidding. He was not happy. I couldn’t explain what I was doing. I deleted it. He drove away. I was really bummed. So I got on my motorcycle and drove to the university where I knew there were hundreds of scooters. I slowly drove while looking on both sides of the parking lot. I must of looked at more than 500 plates. Finally I found one. Guess what? It was the same scooter from earlier. This time the guy not around. I was still really nervous like I was breaking the law. When the flash went off I was waiting for the guy to start running at me. He didn’t. Success.

Well, I'm a bit scared. Apparently, Sam has already found something? Or someone has... Item 39 purportedly received the "There was something there, but isn't anymore" treatment, which is Scary AF! Like, if someone has an idol THIS early in the game...if I got idol'd out THIS early in the game!!

But, I suspect that whatever was hidden in Position 39 was not, in fact, an idol, but was rather some clue or aspect to the idol system. 50 possibilities isn't enough of a competition space for an idol search, right? I mean, I bloody hope so because the alternative is that a Zosma idol is already flying around at the literal first tribal council and, man, I don't need that paranoia right now.

Winning this challenge was way easier than I expected, I figure some inactive is about to die on the other tribe so no worries there. I had a blast this thing is gonna be a fun time if the challenges continue to be similar to this.

Well it's day 2, John and Andreaa seem on board for an alliance, now all I need is to hear what Loris thinks and if he seems on board, I've got my 4-some right there. Which'll leave Emma and Big Z on the outs. Which is fine, we could even split the votes in case of an idol if we felt like it.

But I can't afford to get too comfortable, players can be real snakes and I can't let myself be too trusting. I just have to work on being super relateable and someone people feel comfortable talking to.

I just hope I didn't start "talking game" too early…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onr3BoPGJzA

I guess I cast assess now! Loris: he is a mood and playing hard but he likes me so for now we r gucci. He is super fun to talk to and we share idol guesses so hes aight! I dont want to work long term with him. Kori: Yikes. He's super inactive but he was like i like u lets form an alliance so ofc I'm like ok. He left me on read on the first day and randomly offered and im like k wyd i wasnt born yesterday Emma: Queen? I knew her before this we used to be married until she deactivated and I divorced her but like that literally not even the point. Shes kinda inactive and very on the bottom besides Kori so I'm hoping I can convince Loris to keep her if we go to tribal twice. Big Z: Ok I have never met him before now but OMG ive heard so much about him AND I LOVE HIM!!! I get the hype and then some. I wish we talked more. I 100% would not vote him or Emma out rn. John: he's cool! I havent talked to him too much but were in an alliance Basically im really happy we won LMAO. I am in an alliance I have no plans of following through with. life is interesting. I may just go off the rails. I am predicting Brian goes home because Zosma is a facebook clusterfuck right now.

I’m winning this org... I’m in a silly alliance with kori Andrea and John that I’m not gonna take seriously but kori probably will... me and Andrea are rlly good allies and I have the legacy??? give me my money

We lost the challenge by a landslide. https://tenor.com/view/davonne-rogers-pretends-to-be-gif-6175133

Zosma was 400+ points behind the other tribes so they really did snatch us huh. I’m happy to hear that they’re active though unlike some of my tribemates for the past two days l m a o. I scored more than half of our aggregate, so I think I should be set to survive this vote.

Toby wants to share idol info and I can’t decline that so I gave him fake receipts hehe. He also stated that I’m the person he’s connected to the most. Sam says that I’m easy to talk to as well, so I think my social game is going pretty well at the moment!

Sam wants to vote for anybody that isn’t him & he also said he loved me 😳 L i s t e n: love is a BIG word (to me at least) & you can’t just throw it out to anyone & their mother, Sam. Louise is in the same mindset as myself as she’s talked to Toby/Dani more than Brian so let’s just snipe Brian right? Well, Toby comes to me after scoring 0 & says he has a “gut feeling” that we should vote out Dani because Brian is preoccupied with Mount Olympus. Does that make any sense? We just lost the challenge by an extremely large margin & you want to keep the person that doesn’t prioritize this game? Go to sleep Toby, you’re drunk. I guess it’s hard to judge who will be more active since it’s only round uno. Dani was present, but only sent in one thing…& Brian had internet problems. I had a great conversation with Dani the first day, but it’s day three now. Should I stick my neck out for him? I told Toby what he wanted to hear because it was 3AM for him & he wanted to sleep, but there’s still a lot of time left & I want Brian dead.

I need to talk to people more often hn

I mean this vote is as simple as it gets, it's basically a battle of which inactive should we kick. Most votes seem to be going on brian, which I do feel bad about cuz I love him in mount Olympus and feel he could easily be a number to drag. but at the same time he's been so inactive to the point where he'll probs just die at a swap or something. I feel bad for toby since he already voted dani but im sure he'd understand with all the timezone differences, I would like dani to go but if brian stayed, we would probs lose again then he would just leave so rip

Hi!! It's me john coffey!!! So I love the theme of my tribe being like the emotional players and I love the vibe of all my tribemates. However I know that the emotional players are also sometimes the messiest players because I forsure fall into that category sometimes!! So far I have just been trying to chill tf out and get to know people, and use the scavenger hunt to show that I really want to be here. I may not have as much to offer in future tribe challenges so I like being able to use scavenger hunts to really go ham. I got the highest score on our tribe and I think the second highest behind Roxy so woo! Now let's move on to my fellow tribe mates. Kori - the only person I was familiar with going into this game. I played with him in my most recent game where he witnessed me win. We had a good bond the entire game but he also voted for me when he thought I was the majority vote, setting aside any connection I had made with him, so that is always kinda going to be on my mind in this game. But as of now he is the person I trust the most. Andrea - I LOVE her! We bonded quickly over being messes so that's always fun. I could see myself growing close with her in this game. Loris- I really like him, I always like British guys LOL it's been kinda difficult getting to talk to him at a time that works for both of us but I really like him so far Emma- she hosted me a few years ago though I didn't know it was her at first, I like her but haven talked to her as much as the others Big z - I like him though we haven't talked too much but I immediately see him as my biggest threat at this point. Just something about him idk.

As far as other tribe members go - drew Heuser is one of my favorite people to have played orgs with. He was the reason I was first boot in my first Tumblr game but has remained a dear friend of mine ever since. I met him in person and he's the besssst. If I have a chance to play with him I'm excited to see what the outcome will be.