#im coming for you mf

[marbles-for-dinner]

If you weren't gay, who would you be?

A corpse ‼️‼️⁉️

Women are literally my oxygen dude‼️‼️‼️

#i know exactly who asked this #yeah YOU #im coming for you mf

[tiredyke]

every time queer discourse surges on this site everyone is so quick to jump to “it was actually the evil lesbians who divided us” because y’all heard the term “political lesbian” and never bothered to figure out what that meant

#‘political lesbians’ were and are predominantly STRAIGHT WOMEN #and a good chunk are bi #what don’t you understand about these women thinking lesbianism is a CHOICE? that it’s only used by women as a reaction to the patriarchy? #like lesbians can’t possibly like women and not men for any reason that isn’t some deep-seated hatred for men? #they all think lesbianism is dirty and impure and here you people are saying that this is PROGRESSIVE #and that they actually think that lesbianism is some golden standard for its purity???? you guys are so fucking stupid oh my god #you go on and on about learning your queer history until it comes to lesbians and then you’re perfectly happy rewriting our culture #and narrative #wtf is wrong with you people #and y’all braindead mfs use this to act like men are actually oppressed by the meanie dykes #i hate y’all #but none of y’all actually give a shit about lesbians so i guess im yelling into a void #lesbophobia #top posts #neon talks #LOL at the fucking idiot who reblogged this and tagged it ‘misandry’ not sure how you got that from my post but i hope your day sucks <3

[jade-len]

you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."

gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling

and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!

but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever

i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.

i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3

#okay i havent read mdzs yet but i'll probably feel the same way #god i just wanna be in between shen qingqiu and binghe or hua cheng and xie lian please please #im sad im queer and im ready for a gay poly relationship with these mfs #i love them all #i remember seeing some post where it was like 'hua cheng x fem reader headcanons' #and i was like 'huh thats interesting. not fem but i'll check it out bc ive never rlly seen anything like that' #and then it was like 'he'd leave you for xie lian' and it was fucking hilarious actually #but then i saw the comments on that post and they were all like 'omg i was about to unfollow and block you' 'thank god' etc #and i was just like #'damn?? do people really not like this type of stuff when it comes to danmei novels or smth?' #i don't know if it was just bc it said fem reader or bc yk it's danmei and hua cheng and xie lian are very much in love and happy #but it lowkey kinda got me self conscious lmao and i was hella feeling bad #also no hate to that poster or those commenters im just a lonely queer man #'he would leave you for xie lian' was fucking brutal though i laughed my ass off at thag KAHSNZJ #please i swear i wont stand out too much i can fit in i have long luxurious hair too let me show you my hair care routine guys </3 #svsss #mxtx svsss #luo binghe #bingqiu #tgcf #heavens official blessing #mxtx tgcf #mxtx novels #mxtx characters #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #shen qingqiu #the scum villain's self saving system

[idyllcy]

oops... i got married || TO SOME STRANGER!??!?!?

word count: 1.4k || Fic 5 of oops... i got married

summary: I'm gonna be fr with you. Your new malewife is a little sus

You get married as a joke.

Yes, there are limits to how much you can drink. Yes, there are limits to how insane you can get while drunk— but apparently getting married is not within that limit. You get married to some random guy— SERIOUSLY. SOME RANDOM DUDE. You wake up to a legally signed marriage document and them in your kitchen, and you blink at the confirmation email on your phone and then at your new lover at the door.

"You're going to be late for class."

"What the fuck?!" 

You pause at the sight of your new husband, some random man, white hair and red eyes, and you pause. Did you get transmigrated? Are you in an isekai fic? Is this your main character moment? Seriously, how the hell did you manage to bag some random ass man!???!!? WHAT. WHY IS HE HOT.

"Wait." You pause. "How do you know I have class?"

"The backpack." He points. "Now, hurry on up now."

That does NOT explain how the hell you met your husband. Yet, you don't have time, grabbing breakfast from his hand as he waves goodbye to you at the door. Great day to pay expensive ass rent but live right next to campus. You wonder if your husband lives someone. You feel kind of bad that he had to take you home after you got plastered yesterday. But. That does not excuse the fact that he looked suspicious as fuck while staring at you sleep. Also, how the hell did he agree to marrying you? WHY.

You huff as you walk back to class, pausing and blinking when a piece of the ceiling breaks off and slams into where you were sitting, somehow missing all of your belongings by a hair. You blink, stupefied, grabbing your stuff from under the ceiling as you evacuate the lecture with the rest of the students. Someone hates you... or something. You don't know. You're surprised you didn't just die while drunk. Sometimes pianos fall out of the air and try to bomb you. Also, you have a husband to go home to now! He'd be sad if you suddenly died... right?

Wait. What even is his name?

"Casper." Your husband rolls his eyes as you pout. "You forgot your own husband's name?"

"Uh huh." You blink. "Are you just going to be my househusband now?"

"I don't see why not. Anything interesting happen today?"

"Oh!" You grin. "A piece of the ceiling slammed into my seat, but luckily for me I was in the bathroom. My stomach problems saved me for once."

Your husband gives you a smile half between concern and amusement. (he would have to try harder next time— what. that was not him. who said that.) 

"I'm glad you're safe."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." He pauses. "Do you get acid reflux in the morning?"

"If I eat and sleep immediately after." You mumble. "Why?"

"Hotpot." He hums. "Spicy hotpot. Eat up."

Your eyes light up, brightening as he hands you a bowl of rice, watching as you dig in, humming happily as you watch him put his own bowl down.

"Is it good?"

"Mhm!" You beam. "Where'd you learn to cook?"

"I live alone." He hums. "Someone has to do the housework around my place."

"How about currently?"

"I live a little... far away." He pauses. "It would be hard for me to see you every day if I don't live at your place. Besides, my job is in the area."

"Will you move here? Or..."

"No. My management provides housing for free." He smiles. "Oh, the food's going to get cold."

You pause. "Can I apply?"

"No. We don't take applications."

"WHAT." You groan. "Ugh. I knew it was too good to be true. You probably sold your soul for it or something."

Casper doesn't speak up, placing a slice of lotus root in your bowl. "Eat up."

You raise a brow but don't pry further. It's not your problem if your husband sold his soul. At least he's hot.

Maybe he's secretly trying to eat your soul... demons... that checks out honestly. You did have a bad stroke of luck when it came to unfortunate situations, and you had an even more comedic one when it came to avoiding them. Always nearby, never you. You wonder if that would curse your husband. Though, from the looks of it, your husband would probably steal someone's soul before that curse could even lay a hand on him.

"What are you looking at?"

"You're very hot." You grin.

You laugh when you notice your husband turn red.

The vast majority of your days pass relatively calmly, and you grow into a comfortable pattern with your husband... that is until your husband shows up with a black card and tells you that he can cover rent for the rest of your life— that raises some questions. What does your husband even do for work? What is he doing with his life? How the hell does he have a better credit score than you? Where is his money even coming from?!

You force him into the corner of your house one afternoon with a broom in hand.

"Sunshine, I really think—"

"Spit it out." You stare him down. "What do you do for work. I refuse to believe I'm in a kdrama, so spit out something you can back up."

Casper presses his back against the wall, eyes darting to the wall as you shake the broom at him, and he grimaces.

"I'll get fired if I tell you—"

"NO ONE HAS A CAMERA IN MY HOUSE SO SPIT IT OUT"

"I'm a grim reaper."

You pause, blinking at your husband, words processing in your brain.

"I'm a grim—"

"They hire people for that?!" You blurt, pausing. "Wait. No. You're spouting nonsense at me."

"I am not."

"You are."

"Am not."

"Are!"

"Not!" Casper turns around to face you, shaking as your grip tightens around the broom. "Please... go through my closet?"

"So your job is literally... murder?" You pause. "My stay at home househusband is secretly some insane man who goes around killing people?!"

"It's not—"

"Then what is it?!" You raise a brow at him, unconvinced.

"We get a list." He sighs. "And we get everyone's name."

"Wait." You pause. "Why the hell did you agree to marry me then!?"

"That's not—"

You shake the broom at him.

"You were supposed to die years ago but kept avoiding death so I've just decided to marry you to see WHY you're not DYING." Casper braces himself for the broom's impact, but you're too stupefied to give him a proper answer.

"I'm supposed to be dead?"

"Well..." He grimaces. "You can't really... die." 

"I'm immortal?"

"Your... soul." He pauses, turning his head to the side. "Your soul is endless, and you constantly give life to those around you... including me."

You pause. "So you married me because I'm a natural healer? Wait. No. You married me to kill me?! This isn't some josei manga, you know?!"

"Yes, but." Casper sighs, shoulders relaxing as you drop the broom. "You are so lovely."

"You're just saying that."

"I am not." He mumbles. "I would have just taken your soul if you were not."

"Oh, so this is pretty privilege?"

"It's not—"

"Wow, Caspie. I thought you actually loved me." You pretend to sigh. 

"I do—"

"You didn't kill me because you think I'm lovely? If that doesn't—"

Casper grabs your wrists, holding them in place as he blinks at you, grumbling. "Would you shut up and listen to me for just a second? Goodness, sunshine, I love you. I'd go mad if I did not have you as my beloved."

You tilt your head at him, and he sighs.

"I love you. I'm not going to try killing you anymore."

You sigh, shaking your wrists loose as you press your lips to his, humming. Casper doesn't argue with it, humming as his lips slot against yours, hands moving down to your waist. 

"So we aren't getting a divorce?" You mumble.

"No." He grumbles. "What do you want for dinner?"

A smirk spreads on your face as he sighs.

Still. He loves you.

#surprise mf you thought I was never gonna touch that event again did ya #the quality of these fics r like wattpad crackfics to me. send help #☾.fics #☾.events #grim reaper x reader #casper x reader #a date with death x reader #'martha honey I'm coming home— IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN!?!??!' -> me rn

[800db-cloud]

i think he used to be a jock.

#pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #the noise #peppinoise #<- KIND OF. A LITTLE BIT. IF YOU SQUINT #era.png #mf did football AND martial arts. COME ON. IM JUST SAYING‼️ #the bright eyed young man to depressed middle aged loser pipeline #idk if this is obvious but yeah this is meant to be my interp of what pep was like when he was younger #he was a jock. source: just TRUST me on this

[attyattlaw]

to that guy who left a long ramble of tags in my old OPxLoL art, you got me thinking so here's more

#one piece #op nami #nami #sanji #black leg sanji #league of legends #rakan #miss fortune #nami as xayah would imply she was straight and i mean come on. she fits MF so well. #anyway as the angry support main im here to rant abt my jungler who made me pick my 60% winrate rakan into a bad matchup and we lost #and now im at 59.9% and im still mad abt it. he's not on meta rn so its a risk to get it back up. ill never forgive you draze #anyway still busy with comms but ill be back painting soon

[descendantofthesparrow]

HI YES ILL BE TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE NEXT 100000000 YEARS

A DISCORD FRIEND FROM THE DESCENDANTS DISCORD HAS JUST-THE YUMMIEST ART SO I ASKED/COMMISSIONED HIM TO DRAW UP DEMI GOD REWRITE MAL AND OMFG DID HE DELIVER BEYOND EXPECTATIONS.

#art #art commision #D3 rewrite Mal #demi god mal #my mal #LOOK AT HER #LOOOK #MY DARLING FERAL MF COME TO LIFE #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #IVE BEEN SCREAMING SINCE THIS MORNING #IM SO DAMN HAPPY WITH IT I CANT EVENNNNN #HIS ART IS SO FUCKING YUMMY YALL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW #he dont have a tumblr but by god yall should see his art its so good #he's drawn hades in a maids outfit twice now #one was a meme edit BUT STILL TOP TIER

[sarumint]

you never change

#I had to do this really fast since im going to the plane today with my mom & sister #hence im probably gonna post much less for a few weeks #sarumi #misaki yata #saruhiko fushimi #k project #fanart #okok this is based off of that one k short story where saruhiko texted misaki he was sick so he couldn’t come drink with him #and misaki was like ok I’ll take it to you #and saruhiko was js like what is this mf talking about #and the next thing he knows he’s at his window knocking with the brightest smile on his face #like he climbed up the scepter 4 building to saruhikos window im pretty sure #to take care of him #I love misaki sm omg

[luzisahomosexual]

WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

The “family Luke, you promised” line hurts SO much more after reading Luke’s Diary😭😭

“you’re part of our family now. And I promise I’m not going to fail you like our families did us. Deal?”

“Deal.”

RICK. THIS ISNT OKAY. I WILL BE HAVING WORDS

#RICKY WHEN I CATCH YOU RICKY #ISTG RICK YOU BETTER COUNT YOUR MF DAYS #SIR THIS ISNT OKAY #NO #THIS SHOULD BE ILLIGAL #I AM NOT OKAY #NUH UH #NO THANKS #NOT OKAY #RICK RIORDAN YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK ISTG #IM COMING FOR YOU #PAINNNNN #percy jackson #rick riordan #riordanverse #family luke you promised #annabeth chase #luke castellan #annabeth and luke #thalia grace #family #books

[justablah56]

Gerry Keay <33333 babygirl <33333333

just got to his first mention in my relisten <333 I love him sm , also realized that this is the first time I've drawn him so . anyways . Gerry <3 babygirl <3

#my art #this is what relistening to old hyperfixations does to a mf #gonna just slowly draw every character as they show up in my relisten tbh #tma i miss you so much #hope im able to finish this relisten by the time tmp starts coming out abndnsms #tma #gerry keay #gerry kaey #the magnus archives

[nbnaruto]

Memes that only make sense if you live in my brain, Danny Grayson edition

Edit: no amount of begging or growling will get me to write. There is no fic. Feel free to write anything based on my brain worms tho

#Im sorry Orion (dc) but you are officially dead to me #it would be so fucking funny if Constantine is the only mf who knows Dick is the ghost king's younger brother #hes haunted by it. its punishment for his sins #dp x dc #danny phantom #i am not writing a fic but i CAN make memes so enjoy this lol #older grayson bro au #COMING BACK HERE AFTER 600 YEARS TO SAY I ACC PREFER ANTARES AS VALS SOLO VIGILANTE NAME

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

only hot girls get emotional about the relationship between jesus and judas every night

#my roman empire actually #very apt talking about the romans lmaoo #no but fr #me picking which bible story to never leave my mind: #the entire book of job? the amount of slaves that god just allowed to die whilst moses was growing up? abraham and issac? no #(i mean yes but) #these two mfs and their complex intricate realtionship that makes me want to set myself on fire #im not a christain anymore but thats only in the last couple of years #i was raised by very religious parents and partook in everything until i was about 18 and started deconstructing everything #but lemme tell you #a lifetime of religious teachings stays in your head #and theres smin special about these two okay #(and the fact i identified most with judas over everyone else in the bible should really have been something i paid better attention to tbh) #i dont know how to tag this #i dont want angry christains coming after me #are there angry christians on tumblr because honestly thats hilarious #jesus x judas #judas iscariot my guy #anyway gonna go add to my judas pinterest board goodbye #queued post

[cowboy-robooty]

no guys you dont get it itager isnt sweet and tender in the domestic gay lovey dovey way theyre sweet and tender in the BRO way

#im a crazy bitch okay i will be like yes theyre lovey to eachother yes thats true #yes i only get gay and shit for itager bc theyre true love and then see something sappy and gay of them and go THAT AINT RIGHT #im a freak okay im such an asshole about itager bc i think theyre lovey to eachother in a very specific way and all other ways are cringe #me when the only itager i consume is the official goddamn hetalia manga #and them doujins made by corolla that mf was the only person ever who understood them (even if they were misguided and believed in gerita) #i like to think in my heart of hearts corolla knew the truth it was just the wrong time. #like how i know bill and ted wouldve loved touhou koishi song its just they were born in the wrong era #but yeah like germany and italy are gay in that BRO way like. its hard to describe but its not gay its more like.... friendship adjacent #like when you deeply care about your bro and act gay with them in that way they arent about that silently looks at the moonlight shit #they look at the moonlight and italy goes 'germany is right now a good time to tell you i fucked your car again' and germany goes 'What.' #ITS A BETTER AND MORE AWEZOME FORM OF LOVE IN MY HUMBLEST OF OPINIONS.... I PERSONALLY PREFER IT #its domestic in the way of having your average daily life of dicking around with your bros and throwing grenades in cars n shit #instead of domestic settling down and being all serious and sappy all the time #its lovey dovey in the way of being like AHAHA IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!! yeah bro... i really like you too *hug* im glad youre in my life #i just think thats so much more swag because settling down just does not sit right for me #i think settling down sucks tf you mean theres no more adventures and always sunny shit? #i think fruk can get into that settling down domestic shit but im a firm believer itager cant #because their entire dynamic hinges upon italy coming in and making germanys boring ass lonely life fun by ruining it everyday #its not itager if they arent grabbing eachothers balls and acting like bros #ive said this to wiener but its the itager itapan juxisposition #itapan (japans onesided crush ofc) is great because they act gay but are just bros #and itager is great because they act like bros but are gay #idk its hard to explain the nuances of it all but just trust me when i say canon content and corollas sfw doujins are the only true itager #content #robooty asshole moment sorry guys somethings wrong with me #robooty kun

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

illustrations for the insanely beautiful (or beatufully insane? idk) fic by @mwwktn !!! GO AND READ IT

some scenes may not literally correspond to the text btw once again, thank you so much for writing & sharing this fic, im eating it so hard😭🙏 link to the fic

#READ IT RIGHT NOOOOOOOW #yea i know it's super sketchy but it's better than nothing! imo #not normal bout color too. like. it's about deep viscous desire yknow #also im sorry gotham fans but this is WAKE UP FUCKING ALONE SITUATIONNNNNN #He's fierce in my dreams seizes my guts #HE FLOODS ME WITH DREAD??? IM SORRY??? #Soaked in soul he swims in my eyes by the bed #Pour myself over him moon spilling in #My blood running cold !I stand before him! #It's all I can do to assure him #When he comes to me I drip for him tonight #👏AND👏I👏WAKE👏UP👏ALONE👏 #like. “the bed suddenly felt empty” do you get it? #mafia 2 #carlo falcone #eddie scarpa #lauretta ghiraldini #insane about them. look. look at these toxic mf. theyre insane. just like me . oh dear #I also don't know the rules of English text layout and I didn't correct it in any way soo yeah #Avart