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#im having fun messing around with this style
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style experimentation stuffffff
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liquidstar · 1 month
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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stoatsaturday · 10 months
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Art Fight attack on @the-mossy-green-witch !
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year
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hiiiiii lovely!!!!! sorry i missed the ask you sent me, idk how i never got a notification for it but i just wanted to let you know i just saw your latest seb art and im OBSESSED (also i need to read the fic is based on). Anyways, as per usual, LOVELY LOVELY WORK!!!! i love your coloring so much!!!!!! <3
No worries at all!! Just thought you may like it :D Very good fic, I highly recommend!!l(as well as the other parts of the series ofc) ALSO TYYYYYY YOURE TOO KIND 🫠 <3
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quirkle2 · 1 year
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OBSESSED with how you draw sans,,, he's so lovely and shaped!!!! and the expressions are beautiful, and that art has the Quirkle Thing where it's all soft and warm and like a visual hug. and the details are beautiful, you've converted me to the "sans has reading glasses" agenda and I'm stoked about it. anyway I love you, I love your art, I hope 2023 is gentle to you!
CRIES???? oh mgygod thank you,,, it's rly fun seein what aspects of sans meld w my style and which ones dont. the more cartoony facial structure lets me play around w it a lil bit and i can mess w clothing hanging off thin bones instead of muscles n skin ! so so glad u like it im always worried abt people not likin non-lu art of mine GVEYIAV
#qktalks#anon#CAN I JUST . im so sorry i never shut up but like#i now see the fun in trying new things in my art instead of cornering myself in a box being afraid of branching out#when i was younger all i did was draw wolves and dogs. never humans. if i had never branched out i wouldn't be here !#and for a while i refused to use color in my art cuz it would ''ruin'' it. now i can't seem to post smth colorless at all#when i started drawing ledge and wars and Nobody else i was afraid to try the other boys#and before that initial sans post from the other day i was afraid to try n draw sans again in case i messed it up and it sucked#but it ended up being one of my fav pieces of this year#and also sans' face in the sketch of that piece ?? it's Completely different from the final product#i messed around for quite a while until i found out what worked w my style and what didn't#when i was younger i wouldve gotten discouraged and quit by the second attempt#but i guess i've learned to have patience and trust the process ??#sorry im talkin sm abt Myself that's gross but like . im just giddy abt Getting Better yaknow#the improvement is there!!!! i can see it!!! that'sso fucking wild#if only 14-year-old me could know . she gave up drawing for a whole year#if she knew what she could do in a couple of years she never woulda quit#anyway enough of that SANS WITH READING GLASSES WOOOOOOOOO#adore the idea of it#his glasses don't have the temples on them bc there's . no ear to rest them on#they just stay there with a lil sprinkle of magic#i hope 2023 is gentle to u as well anon!!! tysm ur so so sweet
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moonshell25 · 2 years
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Eat to your heart's content
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be-good-to-bugs · 2 years
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Local artist unable to draw anything but Hatsune Miku. More at 8.
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gelatinorifice · 2 years
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Facial reconstruction of God
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chalkeater · 2 years
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idk what a wing eye liner thing is but i did it girls
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fair-lead · 3 months
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i just need to sit down. download a bunch of base human meshes and study their topology. and then make my own.
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boygirlctommy · 10 months
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need flipaclip to be fixed so i can start isle bcus i am making myself crazy with these sketches
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droolypupboy · 2 months
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tips for solo puppy play!!
pup play doesn’t have to be a partnered activity and solo play can be EXTREMELY fulfilling. you deserve to explore your headspace 🫶🫶 i have another post for more general tips for feeling more puppy, you can check that out here, a lot of things on there are ALSO applicable for solo pups.
warning, this is not for puppy regressors!! this is an nsfw post and probably not safe for u if you regress while online. stay safe, sfw puppies.
i would recommend checking out the above post if you want more details on the following: playing fetch alone, puppy snacks, & oral fixation!! all those things can help a LOT for solo pups but since i already went into so much detail previously, this post will have its own unique set of tips. i’m a puppy & i own a puppy sub so im super smart and you should listen 2 me!!!!
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🐾 eating from a dog bowl can help a lot!! but even if that is inaccessible or not to your taste, you can just sit/lay on your tummy on the ground and eat small snacks from a plate. be careful of choking if you choose to lay!!
🐾 make little pup noises!! if you feel yourself going nonverbal and you’re in a place where you’re safe and comfy and have the time, lean into it. make little “hmph” noises when you’re confused, little squeaks when you’re excited, whine and pant, do all the things!! these can be used both sexually and nonsexually. it should come naturally if it’s gonna happen but there’s nothing wrong with doing it on purpose to get the ball rolling.
🐾 you can either invest in a large dog bed OR you can make a little nest of pillows and blankets.
🐾 being on all fours, sitting on the floor, & laying on your tummy are wonderful. inaccessible?? that’s okay!! these are enhancers, not necessities.
🐾 ALL you need for this is a bedroom and some random items. find some things (bad options are things like keys, lighters, phones, anything you use super frequently) to hide and go find again. the more space you have the better but even in smaller spaces, it can be VERY fun to lean into.
🐾 tilt your head in confusion, nudge and “paw” at things, nip and bite at things (safely, clean things, nothing that could hurt you or that you could choke on).
🐾 if you can afford it, invest in a knot style toy. it can help a lot in feeling like you’re small getting used by a bigger dog if that’s your thing. toys with suction cups are amazing too, the less you have to work, the better!!
🐾 do NOT be afraid to use pup centered asmr. it’s available on many many places but most accessibly, youtube & soundgasm through the site flaru. its not cringe, its not silly, it can be rlly good for the headspace. if you’re not sure if you’ll like it, give it a go!! why not??
🐾 invest in dog toys if you can!! make sure to clean them thoroughly before putting them in your mouth, stored r nasty, don’t use any that an actual dog has used only use fresh ones. if you can’t do that, chewelry, largely available on etsy and marketed for sensory issues (which yes, it does work for as well) is a really nice & discreet option.
🐾 go to town if you have a PRIVATE back yard!! run around!! have the zoomies!! chase toys (do not put them in your mouth if you’re playing outside)!! just have a good time.
🐾 press your nose against the window and watch the birds & squirrels & any other animals outside!!
🐾 overstimulation!! it’s rlly good, lose yourself, don’t stop until you can’t take it anymore. silly pups need to get fucked stupid.
🐾 slobber on toys (of the sfw AND nsfw variety), suck your fingers, get messy eating a popsicle or something similar. spit can be VERY puppy if you can handle the mess
that’s all for now, silly pups!! have fun, play safe, be kind to yourself, and remember that all of us puppies are different and unique. what makes one person feel puppy might not make the next person feel puppy. figure out what works for YOU. being puppy is an independent journey 🐕🦴🐾🎾
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gillionspookstrider · 2 years
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my art style should b sillier. as a treat
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braxlrose · 10 months
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things i imagine 2023 bf bill does
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cw: oral (f! and m!recieving), fingering, etc
• if you've been together since the 2000s, he's so so so happy that you never judged him for how he looked and that even though his style changed you still stuck with him. he knows that's the bare minimum but he's experienced first hand how some people treat him because of how he looks and he loves that you're not like that
• obviously, yall still go shopping together like in the 2000s and it's tons of fun. he loves it when you two try on studded jackets together and when you pick out cute platform boots for him
• you two once had the greatest birthday sex in the history of birthday sex because you got him the "greatest platforms in the world!!". His words.
• and I mean it ^^, it went on for like 2 hours and by the time you guys were done you were ready to pass out. but he also had some other gifts to open 🤩
• his aftercare was literally amazing in the 2000s, but it's gotten even better with time. if it was super intense sex, he will not let go of you. even if you were subbing, with intense sex both doms and subs need aftercare.
• MATCHING HALLOWEEN COSTUMES 🗣🗣🗣 also you better hype of bill for whatever costume he does. like that year he did Ariel. If you didn't hype him up 😒 what are you even doing?
• going out and buying costumes with him for concerts
• he said in a tiktok live once that he does out to restaurants for every meal. breakfast, lunch and dinner. so you two do that basically everyday and you guys always order too much food and end up having left overs
• ‼️BAKING WITH HIM‼️
• you guys know how he loves his cheesecakes so you two make him all the time. and he teaches you how to bake some of his family recipes. but it always ends up with you guys a total mess because you were fooling around.
• also the mf is still a massive tease 💀 like bruh back off for two goddamn seconds
• like while you're kneeding dough he'd come up behind you and press his crotch into your ass and act like he was just grabbing a measuring cup. and the mf would just be smirking his ass off if your face got red
• tiktok lives all the time and you two bake together on those two. and sometimes tom comes in and helps you guys.
• cockwarming on tiktok lives 😍😍😍 (someone has gotta write that because oh em geeeeee I'm squirming and squeezing my thighs just thinking about it)
• he bites in bed. like when he's fingering you he'll bite your boob or literally any squishy part of you. and will get horny the next day if he sees you have bite marks on your body.
• he loves going to the beach with you. and you guys go with Tom and Heidi all the time too.
• now im very pale you guys. i hate tanning, I never want to be tan. It's just not for me, so if you're like that too bill will literally lather you in sonnencreme and bring an umbrella for you to stay under
• now if you're not like me and you like to tan then bill will buy you tanning oil and that mirror thing (I hope yall know what I'm talking about bc idk what its called)
• he gives you head scratches all the time because he always has long nails and it feels so good
• ON THAT NOTE, bill rarely fingers you because of his nails, but on the days he doesn't have any acrylic nails, he'll finger you like no tomorrow. but other than that he sticks to eating you out
• bakes you a cake all by himself for your birthday 🎂 he makes sure to get whatever flavor you like the best. strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, red velvet, whatever you want he'll do it. he decorates it himself and is very proud
• talks about you all the time in interviews and is smiling his ass off every time
• doing skincare together is a must!! you two have so much skin care stuff it's insane. serums, face masks (peel off, paper, clay, etc), lotions, moisturizers, oils, lip masks. literally everything.
• HE LOVES DOING YOUR MAKEUP and he gets so happy when you let him do it
• date nights with him are so much fun because you get to get all dressed up in a sexy outfit and go out to a fancy restaurant. plus the night usually ends in sex
• he loves it when you play with his rings on his fingers
• living room dance parties and karaoke happens all the time and you always end up on the floor laughing your asses off
• he buys Polaroid cameras and takes pictures of you guys all the time. at the mall shopping, on the beach, making sandcastles, you eating, baking together, him dicking you down with his cum all over your chest (who said that⁉️)
• showering together and doing hair masks
• loves pre and post concert head from you 😉
• binge watching TV shows together is something you two do a bunch. he gets all pouty if he found out you watched an episode without him.
• you guys manicures and pedicures all the time and you're always giggling and laughing with eachother the entire time
taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7
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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year
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So.... Hello! I'm not Very good at english since it's not my language but here we Go. I wanna to say i really love your art (from fanarts to your write style) and i Hope you have a good day today. Anyway i don't know If your ask are ope but How the Monsters trio Will react with they being your First in everthing! (Like First Kiss, First love, First s*x, etc) you can do nsfw-ish If you wanted
aww thank u!:) I am not going to go into grave detail because I am already doing a “First time” series with them but i like this request💓imma do it moreso where you’re THEIRS if thats alright
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Being the Monster Trio’s First (NSFW-ish)
Black Fem Reader in Mind
CW: Mentions of sex
I am half sleep and typing this all in one go so mb for my spelling errors im just making up for lost time not posting consistently because school and coms☹️
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Being Luffy’s First:
Crush: Being his crush is no different from being his best friend, he isn’t a very romantic guy if he likes you he will just tell you, “Y/N I think about you a lot, and I also think you may have a Lust DF power because when I think of you i get hard.” Bless him he is very blunt. BUT he does mean what he says so..be nice?
Kiss: Probably the most anticlimactic thing ever. Luffy already licks your face, hugs, and touches you a lot so when he starts running at you after a fight to see if you’re okay BAM. His lips smack into yours like a bowling ball and honestly. It’s cute. Completely uncoordinated, damn near sucked your bottom lip off, but…there was just something so addictive and attractive to his kiss that made you want more
Love: Very odd in his case. He just thought he liked you a lot. The signs were evident though, when you tell him he doesn’t deny it persay he moreso brushes it off because being in love is so new to him. However being his first love is something you can’t forget. He reminds you everyday why you’re important. Why he loves you. And why he fell in love with you.
Sexual Encounter: It was fun! You both were inexperienced. He didn’t know what hole to enter, you were shocked by how long he can stretch his dick. You both even spent the night laughing more than actually having sex, but once it came down to business it was a learning experience for you both. He was so attentive to make sure you were okay you felt yourself crying a little afterwards at how gentle he was with you.
Being Zoro’s First:
crush: He’s actually more of an asshole to you Not even on purpose he just doesn’t want to admit his feelings towards you. You’re beautiful, sweet, and charming and dammit he hates that he has feelings and how you always mess them up when you’re around him! He feels so powerless so please be gentle with him…or put him on blast. It maybe attractive to the mf.
Kiss: Awkward, awkward, awkward. He isn’t the rizzmaster okay. Yes he is pretty and he knows it but he is crap to flirting. absolutely crap. He was so hot in the face when you did the first move and kissed him he was a stuttering mess and pulled you back in for another kiss to prevent you from laughing at him. His kisses wasn’t BAD but …just practice with him. Yeah it was awkward but seeing your face so close and personal, smelling your scent. He couldn’t get enough.
Love: DENIAL IS A RIVER IN EGYPT Absolutely ridiculous how in denial he was. Everytime someone even said the word love he’d get so mad because that word applied to you in so many ways. He fell for you and he couldn’t do anything about it. You were the one opponent he could not beat and honestly, he didn’t want to. He fell for you and he fell so hard that it actually makes him nervous to be around you. He doesn’t know whether he loves you or hates you now for being so irresistible to him. Eventually he comes to terms with it and once it does and you feel the same way. Good luck getting rid of him.
Sexual Encounter: You taught him everything. He didn’t know his way from the clit to your ass. It took a lot of trial and error, sex wasn’t really NEW to him. He has seen porn but it’s completely different from films and pictures so sometimes he would back down when making out got too far, eventually he needed that release one late night while cuddling you and even though he could have went to the bathroom you stopped him and …helped him out. Let’s just say Zoro is so grateful he didn’t pussy out this go round!
Being Sanji’s First:
Crush: Sanji is an interesting guy because any woman that knows Sanji knows he is a mixture of a flirt and just having amazing manners for women. You however was just above the usual women he served to. Being his crush was an experience because you seen a side to Sanji most women don’t get to see. You seen him stand up straighter, sly comments that made your heart melt, and even kept his cool…too cool in fact. He really was Mr. Prince for you.
Kiss: The first kiss he planned it out. He knew his feelings about you and that you felt the same so he needed to plan it just right not just for him, but for you as well. The kiss was so soft and delicate you almost didn’t feel it. And that was because he shy’ed away for a moment, scared his sudden bold move would have you smack him, Luckily, he didn’t have to worry feeling your hands cup his cheek to kiss him back. He still touches his lips when he thinks about that time you kissed him.
Love: I mean man…you really are a blessed woman because out of all of the others he has seen and been with he chose you and only you. it’s insane really. He tries in his entire will to not mess this opportunity to find true love up. You being his first love he watches his mouth and actions around you more, He tries his hardest not to ruin the view you have of him and it shows. If you can just reassure him you love him for him and not who he thinks he needs to be. Sanji needs the confirmation that you love him almost as much as he loves you.
Sexual Encounter: LORD—- okay. okay. Just like Zoro trial and error HOWEVER. Much longer and worse. He really is still a pervert no matter how much in love he is with you so you have to take it very slow. Once you both are okay to be naked in front of each other he is back to being a shy boy so you constantly kiss and praise him, telling him how good he is for you, how well he is doing for his first time. You were so kind and patient with him, it never fails to leave a chill down his spine (in a good way) when he remembers that night of love making with you, and now that he has more experience he does nothing but reciprocate the same feelings back to you in bed.
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xxzlushiez · 11 months
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Can you do tom x f!reader who's in the band and they were always like bestfriends no feelings for eachother or anything but as they get older like around 2007/08 he starts to realize he's totally in love w/ reader and tries to get rid of his feelings by sleeping w/ a bunch of girls but nothing helps because he can only think of reader? And they end up going to a party together and having fun and shii and then they end up on a balcony outside just drinking out of solo cups totally plastered and tom confesses to reader and kisses her but reader is super shocked and surprised and doesn't really know what to say so she doesn't kiss him back and just stares at him, and he doesn't take it very well he's just like "...oh.." and then gets up and reader tries to stop him and he's like "no, no I'm just gonna go back to the party" and stumbles out w/ a broken heart but in reality reader liked him back too but didn't know she did until he confesses so over the next few weeks she realizes how much she's in love with him and she goes to his room to tell him all romantic and shit and they end up having soft sex (or not wtv you're comfortable with) ty sm!! I love your writing btw!
EEEHHHH THIS IS SO CUTE IM SO EXCITED TO DO THIS (and tysm for the compliment❤️)
Miscommunication
T! Kaulitz x F! Reader
Synopsis: you and Tom have always been good friends, but he realizes he wants to be more..what’ll happen when those feelings don’t falter?
Notes: 18+, Name is in the band, flashbacks to ‘Devilish’, drinking, getting drunk, concerts, parties, jealousy, talks of unrequited feelings, Tom being a attention whore💀, insecurities, platonic! Bill x reader, oral, soft sex, underlying sub! Tom (I hate using that word but idk how else to describe it???)
A/N:tysm Anon for requesting and I hope this lives up to your expectations, I decided to right this in normal style instead of bullet points, I hope you don’t mind. This is was frustrated I wanted to get it out on the 3rd😭 bro this is a few days later and it took so long because i just hate the way it turned out im so pissed at myself rn
“I act like I don’t care, that’s cause I don’t care”
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For as long as you’ve lived you and Tom have stuck together like glue, you lived a few streets away but being one of the only kids their age in the neighborhood it was hard for you to not gravitate towards them.
You guys weren’t exactly alike, but more like you complimented each other, he was all brash and broody like almost every other boy going through puberty and you were kind and sweet always helping whenever it was needed.
Soon you were invited into a band that consisted of two other troublemaking kids you hadn’t met yet, you traveled around to small talent shows and state fairs to perform music. It was a rough start; you weren’t popular by any means and were made fun of for what you liked to do.
It didn’t get to you like it got to Tom yet you let him rant and yell about it to you because you knew, along with everyone else, that it was just a matter of time before you five would be praised for your talents instead of bullied.
And you were, your band became a hit, Devilish became Tokio Hotel, garage performances became studio practices, and backyard shows slowly became country-wide concerts. Tom also changed, from a little boy who would yell at anyone who messed with his friends to a teen that couldn’t even bother with people hating.
It was different, you were all different, but it was a good difference. Bill became confident, Tom became more open, Gustav wasn’t shy, and Georg was well…Georg was amazing to begin with, it just doubled. The few fans that consisted of you guy’s parents and a few old neighbors became thousands, girls and boys alike paid to come and watch the five of you perform live.
When 2009 rolled around you were known across all of Germany and a few other countries. You couldn’t have been more successful, as the years progressed Tom morphed into someone completely different. Everyone knew of his reputation, a boy who had a new girl in his car every day.
You guys didn’t drift per se, but you didn’t talk about all the things like you used to. That was okay, some things are better left unsaid, but it was weird. You both used to talk to each other about everything and it just changed so suddenly it left you confused for a while.
But you learned to accept the fact that he wasn’t the same and took advantage of that time to get closer to the rest of the band, especially Bill. He became your number 1, always there with you whether it be shopping to helping you get ready. This was one of those instances where you ended up in your shared hotel room with him and Tom.
“This is going to look really good on your Name I promise!”
You let Bill practice his makeup skills on you, a little hesitant at first because of the particular style but when you saw how his face lit up when you agreed you couldn’t say no. Bill also said the style suited you perfectly.
Tonight, was particularly special compared to other nights. It was a large party hosted by a company in celebration of Tokio Hotel’s rise to fame. Bill made it a goal to doll you up in fancy lipstick and glittery eyeshadow before leaving, which Tom wasn’t too keen on.
“Bill hurry up the party starts in like 20 minutes.”
You looked over a Tom from the corner of your eye. He was sprawled out on your bed flicking through the channels on the hotel’s tv. He was already ready and had been ready for at least an hour now.
“Be patient Tommy not everyone can just wear whatever they find on the floor.”
Bill let out a laugh when he saw how offended his brother got at your insult before turning back and applying pretty shade to your lips.
“Tom wah wah hurry up the party starts in 20 minutes blah blah blah!”
He mocked his brother in a high-pitched voice before pulling his brother from the bed and onto the hard floor with a thump! grabbing your hand and running out of the room leaving him behind as you laugh.
“What the fuck you two! Get back here, I’m literally your ride to the party!”
———
The party was boring if you were being honest. But that was probably just you. There was no one you knew except the band and some celebrities and they were all doing their own thing so you were stuck lying on one of the many plush sofas the company had lying around.
Your eyes trailed over to Tom as he walked towards you, handing you a vibrant red solo cup while he settled himself next to you on the couch, moving your legs to lay comfortably over his lap while you stared at the contents of the cup.
“What’re you doing just sitting here? You’re always in the mood to party.”
He was right, you loved to party. It was one of the only times you could let loose when on tour. Today you just weren’t feeling it like you usually were.
“I don’t know, I think it’s the fact that I ordered a Pina Colada and got vodka. But who knows.”
He hummed as he absentmindedly observed the area. Tom had an unusual habit of wanting to be around you but never talking, preferring silence, it never bothered you so you let your head lay against the armchair swirling the drink around in your hand as you observed him.
He was never really good at taking your compliments, always avoiding them in some way with a “What’re you talking about?” Or the “Name just shut the fuck up”. You figured it had to do with the whole ‘I’m too cool for compliments’ thing he had going on, but it never stopped you from slipping up and saying something every once in a while.
“You're so beautiful Tom” and he was, honestly. His eyes reflected the neon lights that flashed above giving him that euphoric effect, the curves and dips of his face were perfectly sculpted to him. His true smile was so unbelievably cute, one that only you and the band had the pleasure of seeing, and his laugh…oh my god his laugh. You were definitely drunk. Whatever.
He gave you a quick side eye at the sudden praise before getting up and grabbing the cup out of your hand successfully spooking you.
“Let’s go smoke.”
‘Let’s go smoke’ was usually his way of saying “you're being annoying, let's get high” but you nodded and took his waiting hand as he led you through the busy crowd and out some double doors.
When out on the fairly sized balcony he grabbed a joint from out of one of the side pockets on his pants, while you flicked open your lighter that you had found stuffed under some gum and candy wrappers in your handbag.
He always enjoyed it when you smoked together, the delicate flame illuminated your face just enough to see the features that he’d always admired. Maybe that’s why he hated it when you complimented him, because he always wanted to do the same but couldn’t. 
Nervousness wasn’t something he felt. There was no reason for him to be nervous. Nerves were for insecurity, anxiousness, that was bullshit to him, well until it came to you, and that oh so familiar feeling bubbled up in his stomach when you looked at him under the dim light.
He concluded that he had a thing for you pretty early on, when he was about 16. One time you pulled a fan on stage that you told the band you found particularly attractive. Bill teased you and Georg and Gustav laughed as you all made your way to the bus, but he stayed back. Deciding that the pit in his stomach wasn’t jealousy like he thought it might be and just that natural protective feeling for a friend.
He didn’t want to think about the possibility that he liked you. You’d always been best friends and that was how it was supposed to say. He remembers how Bill would always tell him “Being best friends with someone like Name isn’t a good idea” because he wouldn’t wanna be just friends. Bill was right and that scared him.
After that realization he took notice of who he gravitated towards in hookups, they all looked in some way, like you. He thought it was weird. It wasn’t like he selectively picked out the ones with similar features as you…right?
“-Tom, are you listening? Pass the joint you hog”
You plucked the blunt from his hand and he stared as you inhaled some of it, releasing the air into his face, looking at him with a weird expression. You watched him stride forward and suddenly his lips were pressed against yours.
You pulled away after a few antagonizing seconds and hesitantly looked at him. You saw the way his face dropped, probably realizing what he just did. Shit.
“Tom I... you're drunk. It’s fine, okay? You won’t remember this in the morning let’s just...let’s just go home, okay?”
That nerve quickly turned into frustration as he rolled his eyes turning towards the entrance and muttering something under his breath before pushing through the doors back into the party, leaving you alone on the cold balcony with a burnt out joint and heart.
———
It had been a few weeks since the incident on the balcony, and you concluded that he did remember it the day after as he wouldn’t talk or even be around you alone. It was fine at first, but by the time the second week rolled around it was starting to affect everyone else. 
His performance was slower than normal, and he brought more girls to the hotel who unsurprisingly leaked where he was were staying and crowded around the hotel to catch a glimpse of the five of you.
He was being so unprofessional; he didn't give you time to voice your feelings about what happened and just up and left you in the dark. Like how do you even bring that up?
“Hey Tom, yeah I know that I didn’t kiss you back even though you totally unexpectedly pounced on me and it looked like I rejected you because I thought you were full-on plastered but like I’m in love with you so could you stop ignoring me?”
Yeah, that’s a no. So, you just endured it for a while until he decided to lay off. That point happened around the 3-week mark when the band was on a small break from tour.
He made it his goal to stay inside his room the whole time, sulking as Bill told you. You were at ends meet, if he couldn’t just talk to you about it like adults then you would have to do it yourself.
This leads up to the moment where you’re standing in front of his door contemplating all your life choices.
Crrrrrreeeakkk
Are you serious, the one time you were hesitant about your decision he just had to open the door and make it for you?
“Name?”
“Hey, Tom uhh..can we talk about the party?” This is so awkward. What the fuuck.
He stood there hesitant for a second before opening up the door for you to come in. You ducked under his arm and situated yourself at the edge of his bed as he stared at you from the doorway.
“Okay um..so I’ve been thinking a lot about that moment and I just wanted to ask you something.”
He gave you a small nod of acknowledgment and you continued. 
“Do you like me? Like I don’t know if the reason you kissed me was just heat of the moment and you just got upset because you were drunk and your feelings were all mixed or something but I really want us to go back to normal…I miss you a lot and it's weird not seeing you at our practices”
You watched him closely for any signs of discomfort but his face was unwavering except for a light smile at your words easing your nerves only a little.
“I like you; I’ve liked you for years And Scheiße I miss you too but don’t wanna be just your friend anymore and if that changes things between us just forget about this whole thing”
You smiled softly walking towards him and cupping his face with your hands, bringing your lips to his feeling him relax into you. 
His breath caught in his throat when you grazed your fingers against the front of his pants, slightly palming him through the jeans when he abruptly pulled your hand away.
“Name I wanna do this with you…but I don’t wanna have sex like I normally do. I want it to mean something because you really mean something, I just don’t know how”
“Let me show you, Tom.”
——
Tom groaned when your lips pressed against his pelvis, muscles flexing underneath you at the feeling. You hummed in contentment before coming back up to him and giving him a quick kiss and taking off his boxers.
He’d never had someone take their time on him, it was foreign, different, you looked so pretty as you toyed with his cock. Seeing what made him shiver and what gave him goosebumps. 
Laying your tongue flat you licked a thick strip up the underside of his dick watching the way his eyes roll back in pleasure.
“Mhm…just- just like that Name please mhm…keep going.”
Voice slightly weak, he begged you to continue, not like you’ve ever heard and it encouraged you to continue, hands slick with his precum you stroked him at a controlled pace, squeezing slightly at the head hearing his soft curses get louder.
“Let’s empty that brain of yours ‘mkay?”
While you made yourself comfortable on top of him you felt his hips shift under you, his hands finding place on your hips. You align yourself with his cock, sliding down and listening to the way he mutters your name like a prayer as his cock disappears inside you.
“Shit this is much better than I ever imagined… s’much better...” his eyes raked your body seeing his hips met your thighs. You push down on his legs to keep him steady and use them as leverage to grind against him. Not even minutes later did his quiet concealed groans turn into gasps and random obscenities.
Seeing your pace begin to slow he flips himself over taking you with him, letting your legs rest flush against his shoulders next to his ears. He experimentally rocks his hips finding a comfortable rhythm, laying his hand flat on your stomach feeling at the bulge.
Now it was your turn to be a noisy mess, covering your face with a pillow in an attempt to muffle yourself but it was quickly discarded somewhere on the floor by Tom.
“Don’t- don’t do that- you look so pretty writhing under me like that, I could stare at you all day…shit shit shit.. if you keep tightening around me, I won’t last long...”
You smiled as you looked up at him. His eyes were closed tight and his jaw was clenched tight, focused on how you squeezed around him. You let your hand travel to his face tracing his features. His eyes opened at the touch and he sucked in his breath, feeling his high approaching.
 You were glowing, your hair fanned out on the bed, your eyes slightly glassy from his pace, sweat collecting on your hairline, suddenly every part of him felt so sensitive and his lips connected with yours before his hips stuttered letting out a guttural moan making sure you had ridden through your orgasm.
You cried out in his neck holding him against you as he continued for a little longer before coming to a halt, collapsing on top of you. Holding you against him in a vice grip. 
“I love you Name, a lot”
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