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lains-reality · 10 months

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hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

#lainsmail

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deadghosy · 2 months

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If I was in Hazbin hotel:

Author insert x Hazbin Hotel

Prompt: an author is bored as they decided to jump into their favorite fandom at this very moment.

Honestly I’m bored asf rn lmao.

Will, the blogger in tumblr known as Deadghosy was bored in his room as he listens to jay aka kub scoutz 😍 playing lil guardsman. Being even more bored they opened their palm as a digital portal opens-

OKAY STOP…at first I was gonna do that story ass shit but let me be real. I died by not getting enough sleep and I popped into hell for not liking those Jesus posts😭

I’d honestly be in the sloth ring for being lazy asf and being tired most of the time. But also be in the gluttony ring as well. A BIG BITCH GOTTA EATTTT😭

But I would probably still be able to go into the pride ring because of my pride in not needing help from people. 😭 I hate asking for damn help irl.

I actually have very sharp canine teeth and bottom rows, I might as well be mistaken for a humanoid demon lol/j

But if did have a demon form, it’s a bear since I eat and sleep all day lmao.

Alastor wouldn’t “hate hate” me but find me annoying. I would try to get on his good side and never do deals with him obviously cause I like my soul 😍. But dead ass I’m showing him lingo of gen z ☝🏾💀 cause ain’t no way ima hear this deer man yap in a way I can’t understand. This is not no new broadcast from the old times dude. “Salutations!-” HAVIN ASS😕

Friendship level: 5/10

Sir Pentious, I’m teaching this bitch how to do the whip and nae nae 😄. I love him personally cause he so silly sometimes. I would just pop up as he works on weapons but not help him lol. I think personally our friendship would be the kind to talk to each other for a little and stop and repeat😕

Friendship level: 4.5/10

Charlie would like me because of my hyperactive personality sometimes. Like if I’m fixating on something, she would listen and probably tell her father. But mostly i wouldn’t do the trust exercises, she’ll have to drag my black ass to do them 💀

Friendship level: 6/10

Lucifer and I would be so chill dead ass. He’s probably adopt me if I’m gonna be honest cause I also have a duck toy in my room as we speak 😭LITERALLY I MIGHT AS WELL BE A MINI HIM WITH HIM HAVING HYPER FIXATIONS.

Friendship level: 10/10

Vaggie and me, idk she’s chill but short tempered. But I don’t think she would hate me but only he suspicious at first, but then just be chill with me. I would try to help her around but procrastinate lmao

Friendship level: 5.5//10

Husk would probably be chill but not have an opinion on me honestly. It will depend on me just going to talk to him or being nervous to talk to him. I hate being awkward so I would just wave or sit by his bar and chill with him as I draw.

Friendship level: it’s probably between 3/10 and 5/10

Angel and me, idk I feel like I would be a small friend of his to help. He wouldn’t trauma dump that much on me cause I’m just a kid so it would be like “oh my work is shit but my boss is even more shit.” So I would just nod acting like I don’t know what’s going on. Plus, I would probably try to make him something with the help of Lucifer

Friendship level: ima be honest…it’s probably a 4/10 cause I’m a minor and he has problems he need it overcome. He doesn’t need a minor to yap his ear off 😕

The Vee’s…😕ain’t no way ima talk to them front to front if I’m actually gonna be their friends dead ass. I would probably mostly be friends with Velvette to hook me up on outfits😍

Friendship level: -1000/10

Valentino…HAH YOU WOULD HAVE TO CATCH MY BLACK ASS ACTUALLY DEAD IF IM GONNA CHILL WITH THIS BASTARD 😂 I’m burning his whole studio down in a cool ass pyro tf2 mask. Fuck that bitch, all my homies hate Valentino 🤭

ENEMY LEVEL: 10000000/10🖕🏾

Vox, I’m begging him to try to advance my phone so I can prank call heaven and hell at the same time. I’m using so much evil ass shit🦆 like dead ass ima say “I heard your high school bully is in heaven” to an angel so they would go crazy trying to find their bully lmao. But Vox would hate my ass cause..I’m me? Idk lol

Enemy level: 8.5/10

Velvette, eh I feel like we would be mutuals but not too friendly. More like a hook up just so i can get free outfits and she can get a quick teen model and I can leave with the fit fr 😍 no money, free outfit‼️

Friendship level: 4.5/10

Adam and me..we throwin hands. Full on fist to fist. He probably would try to cheat but nahhh, you gettin kicked in the manhood bitch 😄‼️ but yeah me and him, enemies for life. He’s funny I’ll admit, but be honest having him beside you irl💀

Enemy level: he better keep one eye open.

Sera…yeah she not letting me in heaven lmao 😭 that’s all ima say LMAOO

Friendship level: -0/10

Lute will 100% percent kill me for my mouth 😭. I’d probably say GYATT to her for funnies only to get stab. But I would just be quiet and try to be on her good side lmao

Friendship level: 2/10

Emily would like me but would be the type of person to keep me in check with my mouth and vulgar language as I just chill eating all the food in heaven. She def givin me good tours.

Friendship level: a good 7.5/10

That’s all I have lmao

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n0bluev · 5 months

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THEM THEM YJEM THEM TEMM my session is almost over, just gotta do a last little (VERY VERY BIG FAST STRESFULL-) push and then schools done ^^!!!! AND SO HERES SOME SATOSUGU SKETCHES FROM A COUPLE DAYS AGO (i hadnt planned what i was going for in the drawing cuz it was just supposed to be a little brain empty sketch (cough, to procrastinate, cough, sorry teach TT), so ive got a bunch of different gojo attempts with different vibes lol (i couldnt just,,, not give geto his other half,, TT) -- none of them passed, i prolly wont finish this drawing -- ILL MAKE OTHERS INSTEAD DURING WINTER BREAK !!!! >:DDD) ---> im posting this now to give my official hello to JJK TUMBLR, HI! MY BRAIN HAS BEEN GOING VERY VERY FAST WHENEVER ITS ABOUT JJK (esp satosugu) FOR A WHILE NOW AND I JUST HAVE TO CONSUME CREATE EXIST IN 'BE' JJK SO UH.. yep

#kfc ship o7 THEYRE TRAGIC YOUR HONOUR WHY DOES TRAGEDY HAVE TO BE SO GOOD I LOPVE IT I HATE IT ILIVE FOR IT ID DIE TO SEE THEIR SMILE AGAIN #THE WAYS IN WHICH YOU TALK TO ME suguru.. HAD ME WISHING I WAS GONE sa to ru (chuckles YEAH THATS THE VOICE THAT CAN MAKE A GOD FOLD ALRIGH #satosugu #satosugu fanart #THEM #jjk #jjk fanart #GEGE AKUTAMI IM COMING FOR YOU (nicely?;... hashtag affectionately.. but hurtly!? TT)#you know what it is that gets me (and i will never shut up about that ever) THEMATIC PARALLELS #THEMATIC PARALLELS #THEMATIC PARALLSLLS #TEMATIC PARABLELS #IM JUST SAYIN #geto #geto suguru gojo satoru gojo geto suguru satoru AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHghhhh #呪術廻戦

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amaranthdahlia · 3 months

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i hnstly thought id make a solo post dt to each one of these, but i dont think ill ever come around to do that so fuck it heres every ofa au i came up on a whim on twitter (though im pretty sure one of these alrdy exists but whatever)

middle/high school au

gone bad au

paranormal twins au

(infodump ab everything below hahdjs)

anyways soo first one is just . like. a middle school au. or highschool. im not sure which one is better lol. basically its just a roles thing: afo is the student council president (that pretty much has his school wrapped around his finger), yoichi is just some student (that gets into fights with bullies) and kudou is a deliquent (that became one just cus of afo) i wanted to expand this more but im procrastinating so nvm

2nd one is well, again, an au i made out of the whim. i just entertained tbe idea of (forced) villain yoichi and rolled with it and only drew it just so i can design yoichi ahsjskg ... and kudoichi there is well . ig a hero/villain pair? and you could say theyre just unfortunate people forced to play a role (also ignore the quality in that part i rushss to draw it haha)

now last one, self explanatory? mama shigaraki lives, afo and yoichi shared their nutrients and their quirk ( where it functions as afo cant give away the quirks he attain, only yoichi could((and only yoichi can receive the quirks his brother takes)) he also cant take the quirks from the user without consent. yoichi is the same but vice versa, but he himself also couldnt give away quirks unless the user consents 👐) everything is semi-normal for the most part. also. first pic is kinda outdated.some of it anyways....... also also i tried my best to make sure afo and yoichi rlly do look like twins despite the hair difference

now i wasnt able to attach the ofa bad end au and the "theyre happy" ending au bc image limit but the 1st is smth i actually wanna work on (but not fuly expand and actively post about, its just smth i gave more thought than the others here haha) and the 2nd one is just ab designs and basically everyone lives nbd dies au (maybe afo only tho)

so yeah. thats all the ofa aus i came up? yall already saw the other aus liek demon/angel au, the childhood friend au.... does the fankids i made count as an au.....? the mlp one......? holders grow old one????

fuck theres so much aus i need to relax hahdhsjf

anyways yeah thnx for reading allthat . entertaining questions wouldve been fun if i actually put enough thought into these aus💔 the hfx just went behind the wheel for these

#sorry ab the typos im sleepy rn hahdkef #btw if i ever do actual post dt to one of these xpect a reupload #that is all 4 now ig #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #shigaraki yoichi #yoichi shigaraki #mha afo #mha all for one #all for one #mha kudou #second one for all user #second ofa user #2nd ofa user #bnha #mha #i dunno if im gonna tag kudoichi in this since its not shippy enough???#dahlia.art

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epiphlyte · 1 year

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aaugh i never thought i would procrastinate so hard on posting here but whaddaya know this has been sitting in my drafts for days.. mostly because school has started up again for me and im too tired in the evenings to write out my thoughts on things SJKKHJ

anyways, ive been feeling extremely nostalgic recently, so as a bit of a warmup-gone-out-of-control here are the fake (well, backup) prophecy dragonets! remember this reveal absolutely shocking me reading the books as a kid. their dynamic is wacky.

an in depth explanation of their designs under the cut!

something i initially didnt like, but now think is a striking visual, is the fact that their designs really don’t go together - especially compared to the actual prophecy dragonets. was puzzling over this for ages, trying to figure out how to make them more cohesive, but eventually just decided to leave it. i think it fits since they really dont get along lol.

the problem with making starflight (check previous posts/tags) purplish is that now fatespeaker has to be a more saturated purple to distinguish the two - she additionally has faint teardrop scales by her eyes to add some spice to her design. i think canon should give nightwings more unique silver scale patterns as well, like fatespeaker's "bracelets" (sadly not included here)!

i want to eventually revisit flames scar, it didnt really come out how i wanted it to. other than that, i like his colours and his pose! you might notice that as i recall how to draw dragons again ive slowly been working on my poses and expressions, making them more dynamic.

seawings are one of my favourite tribes to draw so i really liked designing squid, although he hasn’t really made that much of an impression on me. i should eventually make a palette tracker of all the colours for the tribes, to make them more unified? or alternatively, focus more on the shapes and attributes of each one. i like making seawings squishy and frilly, like some sea animals!

viper is probably my favourite design out of this batch! i really like her colours, although they border more on the palette id use for ocs - eg. is she recognizable as a canon character? i do like her pose though!

and finally ochre - i seriously can’t remember any of this guys dialogue. with this though i did manage to nail down my mudwing designs, varying horns and tusks. maybe i’ll draw clay’s sibs next?? no one knows, not even i.. but i am currently in a character designing mood!

#wof #wings of fire #the false dragonets #fatespeaker #flame #squid #viper #ochre #my designs #long time no see!#can't promise that i'll post more frequently but here's to trying

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broken-glass-puppet · 2 years

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Ok ok what if, poly Wukong and Macaque with a monkey!reader?? Like the reader knew both Wukong and Macaque before JTTW and well after JTTW the reader kinda disappeared due well everything that happened and not wanting to confront what was going on but now the three are reunited and the reader is helping Wukong and Macaque work through their drama without realizing both Wukong and Macaque are trying to court them- (this might not make any sense and im sorry but like im tired lol-) anyways! Have a good day!

Angsty gay little stinky monkies live free rent on my brain, not complaining though

They are so happy, you are with them but that means they have to share

To be honest, they know damn well they both have fellings for each other but won't admitted anything

But you are like them so they both expect to know they they both are trying to seduce you

You don't have a clue, they are trying so hard but you are just so :D

So let's say you got it and started a relationship with both of this dudes

Time for some trauma work, OWWW YEAH BOY!!

No but seriously, you and sun worked with macaque, you two knows that he is well hurted, by a lot of things but hey hes super nice having you both

Teasing, by the two of them

And cuddles, these two, THESE FUCKERS ARE THE MOST CLINGY AND TOUCH STARVED MFS!!

he will lay in the bed, wrapping their tails around your hips, hugging and kissing you, talking really sweets things while you tried to sleep

And sun little monkie friends are so cute with you, they love you so much, that much that makes sun and macaque so jelaous

They are super clingy but they also loves to spend time with you, but my man's don't understand the term of "personal space"

Basically they are fighting for your attention like it's some kind of competition

"oooooh nooo it's MY turn hugging reader" "oh no you little shit"

Power couple

I am so sorry I posted this so late but school is killing me, some problems with friends and procrastinating, hope you like it

#trans #nonbinary #gay #viral #we love him #male reader #lmk red boy #lmk mk #lmk mk x reader #lmk red son #lmk x reader #lmk fanart #lmk macaque #lmk monkey king #lmk wukong #shadowpeach #shadowpeach x reader #lmk au #lmk shadowpeach

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ccasey0 · 1 month

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who wants a map of all the sectors in "america"? btw, people dont actually call it america. they just refer to paces as the sectors they are in.

okay, im sure some of these you can guess. but imma name them anyway.

WS(the one with washington in it)= Washington Sector.

NS(with north dakota)= Nebraskan sector.

LS= Lake sector.

TS(with texas)= Texas Sector.

NS(with california)= Needle Sector(named after a city in california).

AS= Albuquerque Sector.

HS= Hawaiian/The Hot Sector

AWS(alaska)= American Winter Sector

FS= Flower Sector

FKS= Flooded Kentucky Sector

NYS= New York Sector

NYS and FKS are the two that i'm actually going to be focusing on. yes, both of them. although im only just now getting to FKS, so you won't see any stuff from it when i start posting the actual story(which might be a while since im the president of procrastination).

honestly, the only reason i'm doing this is because i have something im working on for a certain calico shark * Cough cough * @sharkfinn

Anyways, hope this made even a little bit of sense. btw FKS is super flooded. they put up a wall to be a border for the other sectors, but then it flooded due to excessive rain for a very long time and lots of water towers and other stuff breaking. if you've ever watched water world, the it's kinda like that there. after it started to overflow from so much water a bunch of magicky people and sciency people came together and set up pillars around the wall. these pillars, when turned on, create a dome forcefield thing that keeps all the water in while also allowing people and stuff t get in. although id recommend not entering without diving gear and plenty of oxygen stored up because the water level goes quite far above the wall. the buildings inside are all submerged and people try to go down as far as possible to gather stuff. although very few have actually been able to make it to the bottom without gills or extra help. unfortunately, the corrupted there have adapted and all live underwater in the deepest parts. also, spore-producing plants have adapted as well, and they are now Underwater-spore-producing plants. so if you are diving and see a cloud of glowing yellow sparks, steer clear cuz they are spores and it is likely there is going to be corrupted there. the most dangerous corrupted to run into there is the Leviathan(yes i know im so original). he is basically a giant monster that im definitely going to draw soon that lives in the deepest pits of the Atlantis(which is what the people of the sector call the underwater city). everyone knows it means death to go near it's home. it'll even eat fellow corrupteds. on occasions, it'll come up to the surface to get more food and everyone is constantly looking for signs that he is surfacing. the main "island"(aka a bunch of rafts tied together on top of a few extra tall buildings that are somehow a good three stories above the water. dont ask me what buildings they are, because they probably dont exist in real life. they were built outside of the real world, purely existing in dimension 29) has a large cage next to it where they store dead bodies and corrupted to feed to leviathan in order to avoid him eating any of the rafts and people instead. dont worry though, he is only big enough to eat half the main island with one bite! as for the normal corrupted, think of the minecraft drowneds but make them 30 times more horrifying and tall enough to to touch the ceiling of a ten foot tall room. also give them 4 rows of extra sharp tiny little teeth. as well as fins and extra agility when they are underwater. there you go! Sea Corrupteds, aka "trenchers". yes, the people of FKS have all seen aquaman and all refer to sea corrupted as that to make a reference to the movie lol. there are normal fish too btw. most of them hang around in schools inside reef-turned buildings.

okay, so that's the gist of FKS! Casey, Jupiter, and Keigo have been to this sector once because they were trying to find materials and they found the border on accident. Casey almost drowned and they decided that once was enough.

hope you guys liked this! definitely didnt take a few hours to come up with all this haha why would you think that?

and nooo dont ask me what the leviathan looks like nooo then ill have an excuse to draw it and we dont want that haha noooo!

#haha #this was fun #sorry for not posting anything about the actual story of this yet #im a big procrastinator #and i need to get other things done #well #i dont actually NEED to get them done #i just like doing them more than trying to organize posts #lol #anyway go watch waterworld #it's a good movie #took heavy inspo from it #HBT #hbt au #my world #oc?#:)

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femmesandhoney · 1 month

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Hey I hope this isn't too annoying of an ask, but literally how are you so happy at college? You're like the student I want to be, you're always posting on here about your classes and you're so engaged and seem so into it. Every semester for me is just another couple months of the time passing and panicking. I'm either completely paralyzed in bed or I'm crying in bed. Like, how do you seem so good at this?

it's not all sunshine and rainbows believe me. even my best friend has told me i come off as someone who "has it all figured out", but i often do not feel the same lol, i miss assignments, i stress out and procrastinate until the last minute, i get drained from all the work mentally and physically. all the regular college shit. outside of that tho, i legitimately love learning and interacting with others who are interested in what i like and who i can learn from. that's usually what keeps me happy! i love the people i meet in my classes, i like group discussions, i like being introduced to new things, i love my profs and take all the classes i can with them. generally, im just friendly w people in my classes and that makes me enjoy going to them, and i take classes i enjoy, and if they're reqs i don't care for, i always try to take something out of the experience.

some people do not find learning for the sake of learning fun, but i do, which makes even the roughest days okay, but that doesn't mean the tedious and demanding aspects of college curricula do not wear me down too. i decided to wait to go to grad school bc im exhausted! i am tired and need a break from always having another damn assignment to do and another article to read 😭 those things are taxing, and i already have bad self discipline habits, so you can imagine i often make stuff harder for myself than they need to be. the only reason i get good grades is bc im smart and have a relatively easy time understanding the subjects i study. if i take anything outside my favorite academic areas, like say the natural resources class i took a few years ago, that shit had me crying every damn day lmao.

so yeah, i just enjoy learning for learning sake, but also i like academia and going thru the motions of a classroom experience is fun to me for all the reasons i listed, including the fact i want to be a college professor and just enjoy that atmosphere a lot. i would wager if you're constantly frustrated by your college experience, maybe analyze a bit deeper on what you most dislike? is it specific profs, the people in ur classes, the subject material itself? if theres anything you can try and control to make it more agreeable for you, always take the opportunity, tho ik its not always possible. im lucky that all my areas of study have naturally wonderful people drawn to them (especially the international studies students!), but ik some majors can draw less nice people sometimes :( which can make ur experience harder than it should be. or some people legitimately do not enjoy the institutions that are schools and what they traditionally demand from a person, which is completely understandable. my best friend didn't go to college bc she barely graduated high school bc she hated attending and never turned in her hw. some people just do not thrive in such strict school environments for many reasons. but whatever your case is, i hope you have easier semesters in the future if you continue, no one should ever be so stressed from a class that they cry over it. i think thats a failure of a class and a professor when that occurs, and a sign of a bad class/prof rather than a bad student.

#im writing this at 2am i hope its not typo ridden

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comeontaylorspeaknow · 1 year

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So guys I'm thinking about going on a hiatus from April 17th to late May. Since it's the end of the year I want to make sure I stay focused on school and don't get distracted cause I know I will and I'm trying to stay be more responsible! The same goes for Twitter too cause I'll get distracted on there too lol! Which means I'll be deleting the apps for now cause I know myself very well, I know ill take a peak and then ill get distracted and it wont be good. I have some edits I'll schedule for today and tomorrow I do need to dial down on the time I'm on here cause I'm active almost all day during the weekend and still quite a few hours during the weekdays what I'm trying to say is I do kinda need a break to be healthy! But I promise I'll be back don't worry! To be honest I've been needing to do this for a while. I think when I come back I'm going to limit my time on here to be more healthy and productive! I also reblog and make edits way too much so I'm going to dial that down as well. No one rely has said oh you need to stop posting so much I just something I think is best! Something else is im also a big procrastinator so sadly social media doesn't really help with that fact. So I just keep putting stuff off which I shouldn't do now it's not completely social media either it's me not being responsible, but I think it's important and good that I know what I'm doing is wrong and trying to be better! As I've said a million times before thank you all, you all have been so kind and sweet, and honestly I'm really glad I joined tumblr. Now the only reasons I'll be active during this hiatus is if speak now tv is released and because of the pride event. I'll be active for the next two days but Monday starts the hiatus! I'm gonna miss you all so much! 💗

Tagging some friends!

@misschanadlerbong @garden-of-the-soul @sparklezfallsinlovewithbooks @hydesjackiespuddinpop @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @taylorswifff @corax-blackwolf @snownonthebeach @honeyed-sunflowers @jackys-stuff-blog @chiara-swiftiedreamer13 @kimspeaksssnow @swiftiepride

I'm sorry if I missed anyone! 💗

#text #mae speaks now #hiatus #wonderful mutuals 💖

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puppiesandnightlock · 9 months

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Masterpost ig!

BASIC INFO ABT ME:

i cant believe i forgot: My name is harley my friends call me har ^^

Fandoms: Sonic, TMNT, Sing, basically anthing i'm into at the moment, DC (i have feelings on this many many feelings)

Ships: Look, I'll ship anything as long as its well written and looks good to be. i will not ship it if its incest, a huge age gap, doesnt make sense, or is mostly gross.

Me: Fangirl, genderfluid, Pansexual, I am in the USA :P, freshman in high school.

Requests of any kind: Beware im kinda a procrastinator but i'll get it done eventually lmao, i'm learning so my art is shit but my writing's much better. *PLS SEND ANY REQESTS TO MY ASK BOX* Dont put them in my comments and pls be *specific* if its an oc request i will pm u

Fanfic reviews: Send me the link to a fanfic you want to have reviewed (Yes it can b ur own, i encourage it!!!! ig it could b one of mine too lmao) and have it one fanfic per message so i can answer them one at a time. yes, you can put multiple. ii promise my grammer is much better when i review then this post XD)

Fics i will NOT review: incest. please do NOT send me incest. huge age gaps, and like super super dark fics where like its using smut as a weapon or a method of control. or fics that you know are stupid and make no sense.

My Fics: I have accs on Ao3, FF.N nd here obvs. they are all Puppies and Nightlock lol

OCs you will c on this blog: Roxanne Prower ( My sonic/Sing?literally everything oc), Periwinkle Hope(my first oc ever, she is now a sing OC), Harley Rox (MY everythng Oc, also used for the choas family on yt), and last but not least Sirani(my TMNT OC, she's been sitting inmy notebook for the last year, so ig i should post her. remind me.)

anyways this is my insane blog, welcome, please dont die ^^

and yes i like talking to people so send me asks and shit, i like making friends too.

#about me #puppies and nightlock #masterpost #READ THIS

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trouffle · 4 months

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blah blah life update cus i’m sick and it’s a void moon today & im procrastinating breakfast

in 2023 i started and lost 2 jobs (both location closures) & the second one was the closest i ever got to financial “stability” ut it was also a server job in lower manhattan so. need i say more. now i’m a bartender at a movie theater working 15-20 hours a week (which i did at my last job making 500-800 base cus rich ppl are insane and autograt is a blessing) when i was guaranteed upwards of 30-35 during the hiring process and i truly have no clue what miserable hell i’m about to launch myself into finding a job that pays me more than $50 a shift post-tax. it is so stressful and makes me feel so ashamed even tho i have familial support bc it feels like i should just be… doing “better” aka making more money. side note, one of the customers at my old job accidentally dropped a $100 bill, i brought it to her instead of pocketing it to let her know, she most definitely didn’t realize nor cared she literally looked at it like it was a single and they still left $0 in tip…. lol america

but then i step back and realize what i’ve been doing in the name of passion all last year. after planning since summer 2022, my first ever drag performance was in feb 2023. my first ever produced show was april 2023 and it was longform, experimental narrative drag derived from my own astrology practice. i’ve co produced 2 shows (would’ve been 3 but we cancelled and it was a bad move..)

and now going into 2024 i’m producing my first ever rave and debuting as a dj this monday. i’m booked for an experimental drag-noise show at one of my fav venues, just bought a camcorder and got my point n shoot fixed (i didn’t know how to take out.. the film 😔), have my first live model figure drawing, & am on the track to keep producing shows and beginning to take over dj mom’s collective. after i lost my second job i turned towards drag / my freelancing work i marketed via drag to pay my bills and all it did was excessively burn me out, brought me to the edge of despising drag & wanting to quit it all. the instance i chose money over passion the entire ENTIRE process was ruined. i took a step back, started djing, and if i thought drag saved my life BEFORE it def was all leading up to this as i’m ushering in a new dimension of creativity and musicianship into my desperately burnt out soul from graduate school & a decade of classical music training

i am fucking terrified of what 2024 will bring bc in 2023 i lost 2 jobs AND 2 of my best friends via conflict and have just felt so unbearably ashamed and confused bc idk i have credit card debt and rent to pay?????? it’s so fucking confusing being alive but i truly don’t think i would be here if it wasn’t for pursuing drag in the last year or so give or take. i am so so so immensely grateful for it and find myself in constant shock & awe that this is where i am

its scaryyyyy to be as publicly and openly vulnerable as you have to be a public artist holy shit esp when ppl are so gleefully cruel nowadays bht i wouldn’t trade it for the world, esp cus irs brought me to actual community & a sense of home i’ve never felt in any institutions or with my family. i’m scared bht i’m grateful. i’m tired but there’s so much to look forward to. rn i’m just sick as fuck with a respiratory infection but my show is in 2 days :3

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omgpoindexter · 7 months

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hi there, adhd anon again-

i wanted to address some things in your previous reply, but only if its still welcome!!

basically everything you said resonates with a real experience of mine AND my adhd familys, because i havent gone to college yet but when my mum did the first time, she immediately had a terrible time with assignments and procrastination and actually dropped out (even though she was a model student in high school), and she ended up being diagnosed in her 40s. i was also essentially doing the last minute scraping from the second i started high school (+ the still doing pretty ok but feeling you could do better and being mad at yourself for just. NOT starting it. every single time) and the sitting still on my phone doing leisure activities completely unable to enjoy it because of the guilt and mystification at why im just sitting there.

anyway, i wanted to say that the reason i continued this conversation is because if you feel that its not a big enough deal to be worth the hassle of diagnosis, then i understand completely, but if its affecting your life and, crucially, your self esteem and confidence, then i can say from personal experience that meds really do have an effect! it just becomes so easy to just CHOOSE to do something and then you actually DO IT too! so if you feel like its worth it i would recommend it.

anyway omg this got so long im just really impassioned about people feeling bad abt smth they cant control wjdkarjsjs

of course, it’s super welcome, you’re so sweet to reach out like this!! <3

tbf i relate to a lot of that, and especially feeling you could do better if you could just start it, but not starting it and being mad at yourself. i spent so much of my university years feeling guilty but not telling anyone about it, and because a lot of my uni experience happened during covid nobody was checking up on us much and i could get away with just not doing anything for ages. omg AND we got an essay extension because of covid and i could have used that time so well if i just started things but i just… didn’t. and i never knew why

to be honest i’d be nervous to even approach it. i have no idea where i’d go or who i’d talk to, or if they’d even take me seriously. atm i feel like it’s not affecting me much but i know that the next time i have something like the thing i just finished (miracle) and end up procrastinating i’ll feel guilty again. and isn’t that such an odd feeling - just knowing that i’ll make the same mistake again and still making it?

anyway thank you so much for taking the time to message me. you’re so kind and i really appreciate it! you’ve given me something to think about and it’s lovely to hear it from people with experience, rather than self diagnosing from a random tumblr post and getting nervous! lol <3

#💗💗💗#answers #anon #brain tag

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sometipsygnostalgic · 1 year

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hi! in re to your post about your diagnosis, do you mind saying a tiny bit abt the process? im asking bc i have thought RLLY hard over the past few months on the possibility that i may be autistic- like, a lot of things ive wondered about myself would make more sense if i was and the idea of that has brought some peace to me. but i have NO idea how to go abt the process of talking with a mental health professional abt it and/or getting a diagnosis. i totally understand if you don’t want to share abt your process at all and i don’t want to make you uncomfortable with this question, so please feel free to ignore it. but if you are willing to share like the first step that you took in the process, i would rlly appreciate it! im just confused rn. anyway, i hope you’re having a good day/week/month lol :^)

hi anon!

I live in the United Kingdom, there are two options here, you can ask for a referral from the NHS, or you can self-refer privately which will cost £2000 for an assessment...

so what I did for my autism assessment is go to my doctors surgery, and explain to a doctor that I suspected I was autistic. I gave my reasons why - difficulty at school, difficulty with crowds, I talk really bluntly, sometimes i can become very anxious very fast - and the doctor recognised there were enough symptoms for a referral.

the autism referral centre eventually sent me a series of questionnaires, some were for me, some were for my father or for some other person who has known me since i was a child (i dont know what you're supposed to do if you have nobody).

i didnt' like the questionnaires because they were confusing, you have to give relative answers for what you think your own behaviour is, some things i would have problems with relative to friends but not relative to people with severe learning difficulties (like my cousin who is also autistic and is 8 but cannot speak more than a few words), so i wasnt sure what exactly i was meant to answer with there.

i procrastinated for like 5 months on submitting those forms (it was hell). then they decided i sounded autistic enough for a proper assessment and put me on a waiting list.

when it came time for the actual assessment which took place 15 months later, I was referred by the NHS to a third party because of the backlog, so it was all done remotely rather than me going to a centre.

my father and i were given more questionnaires (which were bugged, make sure that any online forms you're sent don't delete your answers in one column when you're filling in another column). my dad's questionnaire was MASSIVE and went really into my early childhood, asking whether i had brain injuries or stuff like that. the idea is they want to rule out the possibility of misdiagnosis, whether my autistic traits are a result of something else.

i was given a questionnaire too and i found it somewhat confusing, they asked me how i would feel if i got a positive/negative result on the diagnosis. i thought this was to catch me out. it's probably to make sure people aren't going to kill themselves if they're told they're autistic or not autistic, but i think the questions were weird anyway. i answered as much of the other questions as i could in relation to autism.

when it came to an actual assessment, i was asked questions for an hour and a half over camera, largely about my own emotional responses to things. i was also asked to help narrate a visual storybook, and to tell stories with inanimate objects. it was part of the adult assessment, and again it was to rule out other conditions, rather than to indicate whether i was autistic, because lets just say that i am very good at making stories up on the spot.

my dad meanwhile was interviewed for 3 hours about my childhood. when i was done with my assessment i joined him for that questioning and filled in the blanks, because my dad wasn't actually around for a large part of my childhood.

a few hours later we had the diagnostic call and they told me i was autistic and that they will send a report (still waiting) with information on this and also on post-diagnostic support services in my area, which i think is going to be very useful.

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