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tobebugjewce · 3 years

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THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.??

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK.

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link; “https://youtu”

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files;

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote;

Technical Support 1978

then,

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless:

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well.

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

#the walten files #twf #notes #horror

12 notes · View notes

clumsyclifford · 4 years

Note

“i just lost the Celebrity X Lookalike Contest (I AM Celebrity X) and threw a tantrum about it, you’re the security guard who escorted me out and doesn’t believe me” au OR “i was scratching my nose, not bidding on the charity auction, but i won a date with you anyway and i don’t have the money but i’m not giving it up” au take your pick

ffghfgjdgsgldja sorry it took me FIVE HUNDRED YEARS and that you actually wrote the entire beginning of this but anyway here is it....three thousand words later. im gonna exhaust my supply of fics to dedicate to you today and then i won’t have any saved for the future when i want to win your favor but alas. such is life (i did the second one since i already did hthe first one i’m too lazy to link it but it exists....u read it....yeah)

“It’s six,” Calum feels the need to remind Luke, for the tenth time. “In the morning.”

“Oh my God, shut up,” Luke says. “It’s literally an opportunity to meet Green Day. If you were awake enough to process that, you’d be the one dragging me out of the house to get it. Anyway, it’s for a good cause.”

“That made no sense,” Calum says, probably because he’s tired and sluggish and it is six. “You know it’s six in the morning, right?”

Luke mutters something irritated and points to two seats next to each other. “We’re here,” he says. “Just sit down and shut up.”

“If all you wanted was for me to sit down and shut up, why the fuck did you make me come?”

“Because,” Luke says, looking like he’s about to whine. He better fucking not. If anyone’s going to whine, it will be Calum, because it is six in the morning. He scans the room, which looks roughly like he’d imagine an auction room to look like. Unsurprisingly, this quickly becomes boring, and when Luke sits down, Calum leans on Luke’s shoulder, yawning.

“So how do you win?” he asks. He’s a good friend, and Luke’s clearly excited. Calum can pretend to be excited, too, for twenty seconds.

“You don’t win,” Luke says. “The auction guy calls out a number, and people raise their hands, and then he keeps calling out numbers until only one person’s got their hand up.”

“Hm,” Calum says, because he doesn’t care. “How much are you spending on this, again?”

“Enough,” Luke says. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You drag me out of bed at six in the morning and now you won’t even tell me how much of a bad life decision you’re making,” Calum grumbles. “I don’t know why I’m friends with you.”

Luke doesn’t dignify this with an answer, just pats his hair and opens up Twitter on his phone.

Calum zones out for awhile after that. He registers the auction starting (mostly because Luke’s put his phone away), and from the angle his head is at, he can just see the front, where they’re displaying each item as it’s auctioned off. Time passes. Calum tries not to flat-out fall asleep, because it would be rude, but he’s really tired and has only gotten about four hours of sleep, and his head hurts. He tries to train his eyes solely on the front, to laser focus on whatever item’s being auctioned. Somebody’s socks, maybe? Some concert tickets? They put up a photo of someone, and Calum squints. He doesn’t recognize the guy, but he must be famous, because his picture’s up there. It’s a shame; the guy in the photo is hot, hot enough that it breaks through Calum’s sleep-deprived haze.

He rubs his hand against his forehead, trying to massage away some of the ache that’s building up. Fuck Luke for dragging him out to this, honestly. As he rakes a hand through his unkempt hair, he vaguely registers somebody going, “SOLD to the gentlemen in the Rolling Stones shirt!”

I’m wearing a Rolling Stones shirt, Calum thinks distantly, and then Luke’s shaking him. “Calum, what the fuck?”

“What?” Calum whispers.

“You — you just bid $2000 on a date with Michael Clifford.”

Calum blinks, a lot, and picks his head up off Luke’s shoulder. “Who the fuck is Michael Clifford?”

Luke points, and Calum looks up at the podium, and of course Michael Clifford is the super hot guy in the photo.

“I can’t have won that,” Calum says. “I don’t have two thousand dollars.”

“Well, you did,” Luke says, sounding like he’s moments from tearing his hair out because of Calum. “So you’ll just have to back out after the auction.”

“Jesus Christ, I don’t have two thousand dollars,” Calum says, beginning to panic. “Luke, what the fuck? I don’t even have two hundred dollars.”

“Okay, relax,” Luke says. “You’ll just tell the auctioneer after. You can forfeit the item to the next highest bidder.”

Calum is tempted to ask how the fuck do you know so much about auctions, but instead he says, “This is your fault for fucking dragging me here.”

Luke shushes him. Apparently the Green Day thing he’d come for is next up. Luke’s a terrible friend and an absolute menace to society.

The auction continues, and Calum keeps his hands tensely folded in his lap, terrified to even move in case this poor excuse for an auctioneer randomly decides to make his life hell again. He spends about an hour trying to work up the nerve to tell the man that he hadn’t intended to bid, he hadn’t even wanted to come to this, and he hasn’t got two thousand dollars anyway, so thanks but no thanks, you can give this particular victory to someone else.

But every time he does, his eyes land on the photo of the alleged Michael Clifford. Calum’s not, like, a shallow guy, but there is something to be said for a man that attractive. Namely that if you get a chance to go on a date with him, even if it costs two thousand dollars, you’d have to be not only stupid but fucking blind to turn it down.

You don’t have two thousand dollars, he firmly reminds himself. And you don’t know this Michael chump at all. He might be a total asshole.

(If someone that hot is an asshole, Calum will lose all faith in humanity, but whatever. It’s fine.)

He manages to steel his resolve enough to turn down the date, but when the auction ends everything is all hustle and bustle. Apparently Luke’s won his thing, which is cool for him. Calum goes up to the line with the auction winners and prepares to tell the lady (assistant?) that there’s been a mistake, but the lady just hands him a piece of paper and says, “Next.”

“No, sorry, there’s —” Calum says, trying to return the paper, and the lady gives him a chilling stare.

“Next,” she repeats. Luke looks desperately between Calum and the lady and then takes what she’s handing him and hurries them off.

“Luke,” Calum hisses.

“Okay, I know, but did you see her face? It’s fine. You can just email the auction company.”

“Just because you’re afraid of social confrontation,” Calum gripes, but it’s far too late. They’re already outside the building. “I hope you’re happy.”

“I am,” Luke says. “Calm down, Cal. Literally just send them an email. They’ll figure out you don’t have two thousand dollars soon enough anyway.”

Calum stares down at the paper in his hand, which has all the details on how to contact this Michael Clifford figure. It’s fine. He can email the auction company, and everything will be fine.

Everything is not fine. Calum typed michael clifford into his browser three hours ago, and now he’s fucked. Utterly, irreparably fucked.

He shouldn’t have checked. He shouldn’t have even bothered. If he’d operated under the assumption that Michael Clifford was a jackass who wasn’t worth a second of Calum’s time, much less a cent of his money, everything would have worked out wonderfully. Calum could have sent the email to the auctioneers, subject line: GRAVE MISTAKE, and sorted it out.

Instead he’s an hour deep into Michael Clifford interviews on YouTube, and he’s listened to the man’s entire discography (two albums and an EP). Calum has gone over everything with a fine-toothed comb, but there’s no two ways about it: Michael Clifford is dead sexy and that’s not even the best thing about him. How can someone be this witty and charming and beautiful and sort of awkward and gorgeous all at once and not, like, spontaneously combust?

It doesn’t help that he’s been steadily drinking tequila for the last two hours, also.

(He will easily blame the tequila for what he does next.)

He’d have to be an idiot to let this chance slip through his fingers. A total and complete fucking dumbass. Calum’s a lot of things, but he knows when God is giving him a chance. This is a miracle. An opportunity, Luke had called it. Calum’s not stupid, okay? He’s not.

TO: [email protected]

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT: I won something with your guy

Hello,

I’m the winner of the charity auction date thing? With Michael Clifford? So that’s exciting. Write back with the details, I guess.

Calum Hood

Calum doesn’t tell Luke when he wakes up, mostly because for a couple hours he himself can’t believe he’s done it, and Luke will just voice every terrible thing Calum is thinking, beginning and ending with you don’t have, have never had, and will probably never have $2000. And Calum already knows that. He knows, okay?

But when he gets a response email, he can’t help but be excited, a little bit. If he’s going to go down (and he definitely is, for this), he may as well go down on a date with a man who looks like a fierce cuddler and a sex god rolled in one.

TO: [email protected]

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Re: I won something with your guy

Hello,

Michael will be in Sydney this weekend. Attached is his availability. Please reply at earliest convenience regarding which time suits you best.

Congratulations,

Michael Clifford's Management (Hi Or Hey Records)

Calum has no plans, ever, and would also easily cancel anything to speak with the absolute treasure that is Michael Clifford, so he replies that any time works for him. He hopes Michael himself isn't as stiff and formal as his management's emails, but Calum's coming off an interview binge, so he wouldn't believe that anyway. He's aware of the disparity between what the public sees of a celebrity and who the celebrity actually is, but a public persona has to be based on something.

Plus, Michael plays Fifa, so he can't be that bad.

He resolutely does not text Luke, and instead spends the day under his duvet, watching more interviews of Michael Clifford and listening to his music on repeat. It's kind of like studying, except the test is a date with a really hot famous bloke. But fuck if Calum's not going to ace it.

They decide on Friday night, because that's the universally accepted prime date night, or something, so on Friday night at 7pm, Calum is shifting nervously on his feet and waiting by his door. A car will pick him up, apparently. He just has to sit and wait.

(He's still deliberately not thinking about how this will cost him two thousand dollars. Which he doesn't have.)

Calum's phone buzzes with an email. It's from Michael Clifford's management, but all it says is, I'm outside :D. Tonally, Calum is pretty sure that one wasn't sent by the management.

He takes a deep breath and leaves his house.

The car out front is not a limo, like Calum would have expected. It's a nice Tesla, though, still clearly too expensive for Calum's street and gleaming in the little remaining daylight. Calum makes for it, feeling nervous and excited and mostly just terrified that this is the worst idea he's ever had.

He pulls open the passenger door and slides into the car.

"Hi," says Michael Clifford. Calum fights not to lose his breath. He's prettier in person, so much so that Calum can't actually believe the injustice that pictures and videos do to him. "Calum?"

Oh, that's Calum's name. "Hi, yeah," Calum says. "I'm Calum." He holds out the paper given to him at the auction, just like the management email had instructed him to do.

Michael takes it, looking sheepish. "Cool," he says. Calum can't feel any of his limbs. "Um, get in, I suppose? I know we didn't really decide where we're going, but I figured I'd let you choose."

Calum thinks about everything he's learned about Michael over the past two and a half days of intense studying. Then he checks it against his own appetite. "Pizza?"

Michael's face splits with relief. "Oh, thank fucking God. I've been craving pizza for like a week."

Calum grins in what he hopes is a charming and not-at-all-creepy way. And then he feels creepy anyway.

“So, uh,” Michael continues. “Tell me about yourself.”

Calum drums his fingers against his thigh. “About myself? Okay. Sure. My name’s Calum Hood, I’m on a football scholarship at uni — when I’m at school — and I like long walks on the beach.”

“Oh, we won’t get along,” Michael says. “I hate long walks on the beach. Bad start, Calum.”

“What? How can you hate walking on the beach?”

“The sand,” Michael says defensively. “It gets everywhere, it’s horrible.”

“Alright,” Calum says. “Anakin.”

“I know you did not just call me Anakin.”

“The sand,” Calum mimics. “It’s horrible.”

“I’ll stop this car.”

“I think you’re contractually not allowed to,” Calum says. “Tell me about you, now.”

Michael looks pleased. Calum tries not to stare. “Alright,” Michael says, smiling crookedly. “Name’s Michael, and I like video games, and I like watching films in the darkness and I hate the beach.”

“Wow,” Calum says. He suddenly thinks that watching films in the darkness wouldn’t be too bad, with the right company. “You’re a right charmer, you are.”

“I’m an introvert,” Michael protests. “Don’t judge me.”

“You’re an introvert? Who auctioned off a date?”

“It wasn’t up to me,” Michael says. He sounds like he’s trying not to be bitter about it, and failing. “It was, like, my management and the auction company conspired against me. But it’s for charity, anyway.” He shoots a look at Calum. “Actually, I think it could’ve gone much worse.”

Calum feels terribly, all of a sudden. He’s lying to Michael, sitting here pretending like he actively chose to come on this auction-mandated date.

“So, not to be, like, self-obsessed, but I have to ask,” Michael says. “Do you like the new record?”

“Yes,” Calum says immediately, which is true, at least. “Yes, I love it. I’ve listened to it a million times.” In the last three days.

Michael grins happily. “Really?”

Calum nods. “Uh. Yeah. Really.” He wavers, mouth dry. Michael looks delighted, and Calum would be an asshole to let him sit there feeling oblivious about Calum’s whole situation. He sighs. "Um, for the record, I feel like you should know that — well. This is a misunderstanding, kind of."

Michael briefly shoots him a puzzled look before bringing his eyes back to the road. "What is?"

"Well, ah, me, being here." Calum rubs the back of his neck. "I won this by accident. I don't have two thousand dollars — yet, I mean, I promise I'll pay, I just...I honestly didn't know who you were until about three days ago."

Michael snorts, clearly amused. He laughs "That's great," he says. "Did you look me up?"

"Yes," Calum says. "A bit." He pauses, embarrassed. "Okay, a lot. There's a lot of information about you on the internet, if you were wondering. And I'm sure most of it isn't true, but I didn't want to, like, offend you? But I meant it about the album, it’s really really good, exactly the kind of music I love, and — yeah. So."

Michael still looks amused when Calum finishes word-vomiting all over him. Small mercies. "I'm glad," he says, looking sidelong at Calum for a moment. "Well, I'm sorry you ended up on a date you can't afford with a guy you don't care about."

"No, no," Calum says. "I could have forfeited it, I think? But, well." Whatever, Michael probably gets this all the time, and after all this is a date, so what the fuck does he have to lose? "I thought you were hot, and I was pretty drunk, so I figured, fuck it."

Michael snorts another laugh. "Really," he says. "Well, that's pretty lucky for me."

Calum frowns. "Lucky?"

"Yeah, I mean." Michael gestures. "Sorry if this is forward, but you're pretty good-looking yourself."

Calum has absolutely no idea what to say to that. "Um, thank you? That's — is this, like, scripted? Are there things you have to say to me in some contract? Because I promise not to be offended if you just don't say them."

"There's no contract," Michael says, with an easy smile. "I just think you're kinda hot. Is that allowed?"

"Allowed?" Calum repeats, incredulous. "No, it's not allowed. You need to be checked for delusion. You can't call me hot when I'm in a car with you."

"Well, I am," Michael says. "It's done. Deal with it."

"I want the record to reflect that that compliment was nonconsensual," Calum says. You're kinda hot you're kinda hot you're kinda hot you're kinda hot, his mind sings.

"Should I take it back?" Michael asks, arching a brow. He looks like a fucking sculpture. Calum finally understands why museums exist.

"No," he says. "I took a voice note of you saying it, and I'm going to sell it on eBay. For two thousand dollars. Which I will then use to pay for this date."

Michael shakes his head and pulls into a parking lot. "How about this: you pay for the pizza, and I'll pay the two thousand dollars?"

Calum's heart stops, maybe. He's pretty sure he's supposed to have a heartbeat, but he can't locate it in his body. "What? No."

"Why not?" Michael turns to him in the passenger seat. "I'm having a good time, and a gentleman ought to pay for his date's meal, or some bullshit like that, right? So if you buy me pizza, I'll pay off the auction, and then I can ask you on a real date, and I'll buy you pizza, and we'll be even."

Calum stares, unable to process any of that. "I don't think that math checks out," he says. "What do you mean, a real date?"

Michael chuckles, and sounds a little shy. "One where neither of us is financially obliged to attend. You know. Like a normal one."

"Oh," is what Calum eloquently comes up with. "Uh, you want to do that with me?"

Michael shrugs. "Yes? You kept me smiling for the whole drive, and you called me hot. I'm very insecure, so that's important. Plus, as previously mentioned, you're also hot, so I think we'd make a very attractive pair."

"Maybe I'll say no," Calum says, blood roaring in his ears because there is literally no way this is happening, this is not his real life. This is a dream and he's very witty in his dreams. "Don't push your luck, Clifford."

Michael laughs. "Touché."

"That was a joke," Calum says. "Just like yours was a joke."

"I wasn't joking," Michael says. "But you can say no. We're both still on this date, we may as well enjoy it."

"Pizza," Calum helpfully remembers.

Michael nods in agreement. "Pizza."

"Ask me again at the end of our auction-mandated charity date," Calum says. "If you're charming enough, I might just let you take me out again."

"Challenge accepted." Michael gets out of the car, and so does Calum, and he gives himself another this isn't real life, for good luck, before coming around the car. Michael holds out an arm, and Calum takes it.

Calum's never had better pizza, or a better date. (Michael asks him again at the end, and Calum says yes, because he's no fucking idiot.)

#malum #malum fic #5sos fic #michael clifford #calum hood #uhhhhh sorry it's so late im. i have NO excuse #thank god its finished tho #you deserve so many fics bro this is the least i can do kfjglkjjggd #fic #my fic #:) ily.........enjoy it bruv #calumcest #ask #answered #5sos

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mikeshanlon · 4 years

Text

the last time i sent a message so long that i had to SUBMIT it, the year was 2013.. anyway.. i have yet to come to you and tell you how much i love ribs but since you delivered today after working so hard for so long, i figured i’d send you this and finally tell you.. oh my fucking god i love ribs. my friend and i have a book club and by “club” i mean the two of us read a book and then cry over it together and you should know we wholeheartedly treat ribs like one of those great books. in fact, we cry more over ribs than any other ones. we found it the day you posted the november chapter and have been waiting (not so patiently) for december. i mean every single day we texted each other and were like haha.. so, ribs? and anytime you even so much as referenced it in your tags, we sent the post to one another and had breakdowns. and we re read it SO many times that i swear to god when i was watching You on netflix today and one of the characters said “por que no los dos”.. i lost my fucking mind. had to pause and calm down. october chapter stans rise, ig. i wish i took screenshots back when we first read it because it was an absolutely wild time in our lives but i got a few from today when you posted and here are some highlights i think you should see.

by the way how magical was it that i was GROCERY SHOPPING at that moment… just like in that clown movie fanfiction…

we proceeded to listen to that song on repeat to torture ourselves. but like it really does fit perfectly to the end of december, was that your inspiration or did the song get made specifically for the ribs soundtrack? because oh my god. another song which every time we listen to it we cry thinking about ribs.. it fits so perfectly.. is Yours by greyson chance. his whole album is fantastic but if you ever feel like having a good cry, you should give that one a listen. very ribs reddie.

which reminds me she also said if richie and eddie end up not going to college together that she’d kill herself which.. i’m not sure where you’re going with it but if you DO choose to go in that direction… you SHOULD split them up to spite her!

and there are so many quotes in this chapter that i could send that made me have to scream but the way you pieced together the Eddie plummeted over the edge of the precipice, and now he’s unraveling. bro what the fuck, it’s been hours and i still can’t get over this. and that fucking song richie was playing in the car that i KNOW is the one he hums and thats why eddie knows it.. please be quiet i am breaking down.

(and thank you for writing ribs. your writing never fails to amaze us. it makes us feel it all.)

---

(hello this is emma aka mikeshanlon i didnt want to trust tumblr’s tags working so i am adding my response onto your submission).

oh my god im likeeltnelrknlgnklergnlrgn i actually cried reading this and had to go make myself some tea to calm down and Process this bc wow. insane????? i can’t believe y’all enjoy my writing enough to talk about it together and get so excited for updates, and reread.. i’m sorry y’all had to wait forever LRRNGLRNGK. also that you enjoy ribs enough send me this lovely message. like THANK you so so much for sending me these omg. i loved reading your reactions so much y’all are hella funny and reading you screaming abt shit like eddie wanting to kiss him sent me LNLKRGRGr.

also wow those songs.... y’alls minds. i hadn’t heard either but adding those to the playlist... especially waking up slow now Y’ALL got me torturing myself RLGNRG. like hold awn... it’s not supposed to come back and hurt me too LRGKNNGR jk.

speaking of songs, i totally blanked and forgot to mention in the notes of ao3 (so i’ll fix that in a second), but the song richie sang in the car was lover’s spit by broken social scene! so.............. do with that what you will if you listen to ribs by lorde...... like..... you’re right,,,, LKNGRKLRGRG.

seriously im so overwhelmed and full with love and so many feelings from this message, thank you so much for reading and you’re kind words and support, it’s so AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (me writing thousands of words but not being able to articulate my emotions scream). when i read that last line of u quoting back bill’s thing to me please i screeched at my phone........please feel free to send any of your other reactions or songs or whatever bc i am so curious and grateful for this omg.... ah okay thank you so much i hope you have a great rest of your week. <3 <3 <3

#submission #ribs #save #the grocery store kismet of it all....#like i literally was crying out here LKNRGLKNRG #keeryjoseph #im like.... ooh okay gOD WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS INSANEEEEE

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pristinification-blog · 7 years

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Today’s topic is different from my other posts. I want to introducce you to The 12 Universal Laws and show you how they are applied to improve your life. You may have already heard of the Law of Attraction and the miracles it has caused. So get a chair, sit down and try not to fall off it in awe as you now find out that there are 11 more miracuous Laws to help you manifest your dream life!

1: The Law of Divine Oneness

Everything in this universe is made of atoms, which, again, are composed of protons, neutrons and electrons, depending on whether they are positively or negatively charged or neutral. Of course, we could go deeper into the science of it (im a sucker for physics, hit me up if you want to know more) but in the end you can say everything is based on energy. This energy is what connects us all, each and everyone of us is a perfect compound of life source. We all carry the same source energy, the same potential to create wonderful things or cause harm and sadness. On an energetic level, we are all one and the same. So if you’re ever sad about being physically seperate from your beloved, remember that we all stem from the same universal consciousness and we are one, divinely tied together by source energy, the universe, god, etc. - you name it!

2: The Law of Vibration

Maybe you have heard it already from gurus, guides or simply read it somewhere online in spiritual forums: “You need to raise your vibration!” Now if we go back to our atoms and cause a simple molecule to vibrate, it totally changes and takes on a whole new form. Something similar happens when you change the vibration of your soul. Raising your vibration means adjusting your actions and attitude to the original vibration you carry. Your energetic blueprint: your soul song. You raise your vibration simply by doing things that make you and those around you feel good, for example by listening to your body and taking a day off if you need to or by simply swallowing your pride and calling that old friend first even though you were the one to do that last time, too.

3: The Law of Action

This one can be very tricky, because it makes you think you need to work hard and go through tough times to manifest your desire. No, it does not. When you have a dream, you need to adjust your actions towards it. Do not think that you have to go overboard and force yourself to do the impossible. Taking action means changing your attitude, thinking twice about how to phrase your thoughts, how to express your emotions and aligning them to your wishes and desires. You do not have to step out of your comfort zone, since putting so much pressure on yourself would also lower your vibration.

4: The Law of Correspondence

“As above, so below” - each and every principle of physical laws has its corresponding principle in the spiritual world. This means that the four bodies of existence, (the physical, thought, emotion and spirit or the so called Higher Self) always connect to one another. Changing one affects all four. “As within, so without”

5: The Law of Cause and Effect

Nothing happens by Coincidence, in fact everything can be explained by the 12 Universal Laws. Some refer to this Law as the Law of Divine Timing since it descibes how taking the right action causes the hoped for effect. As you align to your desire, raise your vibration and take action to make room for your desire in your life, you cause it to manifest. Sometimes unfortunate events hit you out of nowhere, but they are never happening for no reason. Be it a lesson the universe wants you to learn or simply the Free Will of another indiviual to harm you. Be the winner - use these situations to re-evaluate your attitude towards your desire and then react according to it. You probably already know about the Butterfly Effect - it’s another way to explain it.

6: The Law of Compensation

Our efforts to raise our vibration and make space for our manifestation in our lives are rewarded. Depending on how hard we have worked to cause positive things, the more we receive abundance from the divine. These universalf gifts can manifest in many ways: money, love, friendships, blessings. In the end, our manifested dream is only the tiny cherry on top of your creamy, tasty cupcake.

7: The Law of Attraction

The most famous one of all! You are responsible for the things you manifest and how you manifest them. Each thought you think, each word you say, each action you may or may not take affect what you receive. This is why it is so important to raise your vibration and align your attitude towards your desire. You can find thousands of success stories of the LOA on the internet, I suggest you to not check them out too often. Instead, start small and manifest your favorite place to sit in your favorite cafe or a seat on the bus. Your own small success can be more uplifting than watcjoing other people’s success and noticing the lack of your manifestations. When applying the LOA, remember to just “consider it done” and never underestimate your abilities as Manifestation King or Queen! :)

8: The Law of Perpetual Transmutation Of Energy

Sometimes we mess up. Sometimes we even mess up really bad but thats okay because the Universe always gives us another chance to improve. All we need to do is change our energy, adjust our vibration and apply the previous mentioned Laws to cause good things. This Law means it is never too late. You can postpone your manifestation, you can chose to give up or you can apply this Law, press the reset button and start over. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy also promises that the more energy you spend on improving yoourself and manifesting your desires, the faster or stronger it manifests. It is all in your hands. you are an ever evolving´being, full of source energy with the highest potential to live the best life possible. Use that energy.

9: The Law of Relativity

We all go through tough life lessons, taylored by the divine according to our light within. They help us strengthen our soul and preparing us for things that are about to enter our life at a later moment that we arent capable of knowing yet. A lesson that may be hard and painful for me could be easy and fun for you. Everyone has their own lessons in life and everyone will meet people who have “worse” or “better” cards. It’s a matter of perspective - it could be worse.

10: The Law of Polarity

Everything has its own opposite component - a side with the total opposite energy and intention. There is always the choice to focus on the positive when you get stuck up in negativity. Take charge and use it to your advantage. Once you intend to chose the positive perspective, you will automatically take the right actions to manifest your dream.

11: The Law of Rhythm

Since this Universe consists of vibrations, they all can be combined to melodies, symphonies and - in the physical world - events and situations. If your soul vibration is needed to make a situation “perfect” but you havent raised your vibration, you “play the wrong notes” and it wont happen in the highest potential. Do not think that you are forced to be perfect - in the physical realm there is no such thing as true perfection since we are all allowed to make mistakes. Just take the best version of who you could be, use it as your role model and play that harmonious song for the world and most importantly for yourself - you deserve it!

12: The Law of Gender

Just like everything in this universe has its polar opposite, it has a fitting opposite, too. The easiest example for this are the feminine and the masculine that are needed in the physical world to create life. Yes, with new technologies it is possible to create life in alternative ways but there are still two parties with the same intention involved. So no matter what you do, there will always be somebody whose intention will suit yours

#12universallaws #twin flames #twin flame #twinflames #lawofattraction #loa #manifest #manifestation #abundance #life choices #self help #spiritual #spirituality #love #soul love #soul mates #mindfulness #success

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throwingideasatthewall · 3 years

Text

Clone Wars Grievous Intrigue

(Season 2 Episode 9)

Greivous episode?

Hey wasn’t that supposed to be a grievous episode?

...

Too late

To Complain About It Now-

“For everything you gain you lose something else,” Oof Sour grapes..

Any way

Whelp

Crud

Republic Win

Okay maybe they’ve earned that..

Un-able

Wait...

What?

Outer Rim

That’s like being unable to stop people in the desert..

Greivous!

Elusive

He’s Back!

(Don’t know where he was but still grateful..)

Opponents

Dude you don’t have to hype him up that much

(I’m still down)

Thousand

Jedi

Never

Pre-pare

Glow-up

Good for him - Next Until Now

How? Who is this guy?

[Did they track his ship?]

Grievous

Oh, he’s attacking Also, he sounds so fucking bored

- Yeah, Grievous is bor -d- er Ing

Like did dude just let himself get boarded

To see Grievous

Aight

Again troopers continue to shoot at the walking tanks with blasters instead of some kind of explosive

Whelp

Too many

There’s like five...

Walking Tanks..

Escape

Commando Droids

That does not matter captain

yeah he can beat them either way

(You guys just get the shit weapons.” )

Aight,

Right,

That’s a light saber

(I don’t think,)

Shit

Never-mind

Grievous Has Got A Glow-up

Dramatic s

And Con- fid -ence

Damn Better Watch Out..

Yeet

Legs

Al-right

Meet -ing The Robotic Boo

“Jedi,”

Or Not?

Ha-ha

Dude’s Having Fun

Also; Maybe don’t drag the storm clone- troopers On Top - After one just got hit by the door ..

See?!

One dude survived . Neat. Yeat.

How?

Whelp, Damn

Well at least he only got za-pped

Greivous is just on the side watching the show..

There.. he..is! !

Formal

Damn

For-mation

Letting Him.. .

Get Into Line.

Meeting You

-Tinder (Date)

Ha-ha

Show isn’t over. .

Also, dude just started having a coughing fit

Ruin ed His Spe- Ch-

Coward

Murder -er

Damn, Intense,

Damn

Seat Up..

To Go Higher

Set-up

Off

Ouch.

Well

Walking- Cage- Fight

*Likes To Keep It Intense)*

And Inter- -sting

Fun

Dude’s Hold- ing His Own-

- Aight- Okay- Ri-ght- - Okay-

Nice - Up- Close - Flail -ing

Around-

Whelp -Ok

Fl- ail- Ing-

Ar- ound

Right- Damn- Intense

(Might be - cheating as they were only using their light sabers- - Oof

Well

Ch- ea t- Ing- - Double- - Ha- Ha Ha- - Off - Well - dude got shot -by a droid

So...

Hey, Senate!

Whelp

No(b)pe -

Way

One of you guys decided to fight me alone again.

(Thought he could handle all this)

Anyway...

Whelp. .

Politics . .

The .. guys...

you are sending me are too weak. .

Die.

Imagine getting sham - ed before the entire council ! Also, who brought children here?

Or abominations

(Beyond the other two)

Urgh

...

Seriously who’s Padawan’s are these?

No not really Master cough was kind of a dick-

Also Grievous sweetie you need to put more emotion in your voice..

That Came.. Out Path- E- Tic- -

Exit

Everyone was called for this fecking sass

‘Ok, everyone, agreed no one goes into the outer rim - alone,”

Agree -ed

‘Master Cough Was An-

[End]

All Jedi deaths went down 5° (As -someone finally used the brain cell,”

Aight...

Youn’glings

[Who invited them in the first place?]

[Yeah listening to an insane maniac talk m,

that’s a good idea-

[This plan was Advised by General Skywalker.. ]

Luminara wouldn’t break the rules to argue

And no one knows where those two came from,

Maybe the toe guy.. ..

[Also I thought the limit was 13, Which Ahsoka was because she’s so “gifted”,”

Bull- shit

But,

How old, are these guys supposed to be,?

Right,

Nope

So all of you go to the outer edge and beat him up...

...

Agreed

‘Murder, Yoda advocates,’

[Ok, he didn’t actually say that but what is his plan?]

[don’t send them one by one... don’t send them one by one...

]

Clone appears in the hologram?

[ why wouldn’t he just signal him?

Like ‘dude you have an im-port-ant message?’

Instead of inter-cepting, Since these guys were OK with the clones being made..

Se-

Master cough-

You just saw him-

[I know he means in the galaxy- but Did Dude not have comes on?

Didn’t give an estimate?

Didn’t check the obvious edge of society?

[Just Say’in?]

Wolf

No one‘s gonna have a problem with the clone featured equal to the Jedi?

Also, found?

He looked At your messages...

Play...

It’s Just.. .

Whelp-

Smart-

Skills-

Ai-ght

Oh, it’s not even galactic sign, language-

-Okay-

Right-

Greivous-

Intel Lies?

Yes, but So.. . Of- ten- In- ac cura te-

Wait, the gossip channel can be wrong? ?

Well- At least- They’re sending two..

You’d think they’d want to third-

Given two light sabers- And I-

And random Jedi master #3

Good for Her?

[Seriously I’m glad to know more..

But..

[Recites Names?] How many are we going to get to know?

The... entire generation.

Okay?

Ships-

Aight-

Okay-

Right-

Now-

There we go-

Clones!

Oy, Obi-Wan’s The Only One - In direct sun-light...

I-

Oof

Ne-ver- Mind-

Right- Neat- In-tim- i-dat -ing-

Ready-

Makes- Sense-

. ... ..

A’ight

... .

Neat..

Also, Wait,

We’re back down to two . . .

Don’t- you wanna-

Right

No-

Greivous-

Gen-er -al

Him beating you at battleship several times over.

Sorry, but this doesn’t really seem like the meeting of minds..

Obi- won more coquettish (Lazy) Strategy (To get out of doing the job right,)

Even The Score..

Dude you can’t even spare up the energy to care?

What makes you think he will?

(Last time he just threw you around like a chew toy

You couldn’t lift a droid

And...ran away from him..

Forgetting your .job.

(I know there seems to be a reboot of their relationship.)

aka Obi-won totally didn’t get his ass kicked last time.

But I can’t honestly take it seriously with that imagery.

Mean-while-

-Alive

Thought he said specifically that he’d keep them alive just to screw with you.

Mission ... Cough

Seriously, mate..

I know that’s your thing.

But if it’s someone’s Time to die almost nothing in the world can save them.

“Capture,”

Right, and friendship bullets. .

Okay. .

Yo what are the Padawan’s doing?

(Yeah I know it’s weird that I want to know what the ab-ominations are up to- But it -could’ve- been nice

*Shrug*

Not much lost,*

Whelp- Neat- - -

[Wait why is Rex getting dragged along?

That isn’t your command!]

Yeet

Good Droid..

Right...

Neat

And that robot doctor can do nothing.. ...

Why does he need to be escorted?

Also great two Jedi one general grievous..

Master Cough*

Grievous

Speaking pretty fluently for a recent shock victim (Bordering on death!)

Justice

Again he kept you alive...

Like Geneva conventions sure

But There’s not much...

At least we all live to fight another day..

hm, Ai-ght

. .

Okay, Right, Aw- kward

End- (Ing)

I think that was a pretty all right episode

Pretty much establishing the Grievous episodes tend to be of a higher quality

Pretty average for your standard save the person plot

[I did like what they did with Master-]

Did they actually ever say her name?

[or was she just- “that chick” the entire episode..?]

I usually...

[Anyway I like what, they did with making her the re-place ment better age appropriate Ahsoka, With account- ability-

0 notes

sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog · 6 years

Text

Can my husband be on his parents car insurance?

"Can my husband be on his parents car insurance?

Can my husband be on his parents insurance with his car and be on my own insurance with my car? Because right now he is on his parents and I just got a car and I dont want to have both cars on my insurance plan.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I was rear ended recently and the other drivers insurance co sent out their adjuster. I was told that my car was a total loss. I had a 94 Buick Park Avenue with 148K miles. I got a call from the person who appraised the value of my car and was told that my car was worth $2,200.00 and another $300.00 for what it would have cost me for a rental, totaling $2561. and some change. I did some looking around and found in the auto trader that I can get the same car selling for $2,995 with 154,605 miles. The question I have is do I have to except their offer of $2,200? Also, if I except this offer is this separate from the medical side of my claim? Thank You in advanced.""

How much would this car be on insurance?

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/1003554423.html lol I would really like to know!! asap if possible!! =p I would just be getting liability on it...nothing like full coverage XD thanks all

Car Insurance rate increased when I moved????

I recently moved WITHIN the same county and my car insurance rates increased because of the move. Should it increase even though I am in the same county???? It's seriously like 5 miles from my old house....

LA area car insurance?

My friend is letting me use her car for about a year and she wants to make sure I'm under her car insurance, too. (and I pay for my portion of car insurance for borrowing her car) She took my driver's license to have her car insurance company list me under her name. AND IT'S TAKING MORE THAN TWO WEEKS she told me that the insurance company have to contact her and let her know what's up.. but in my common sense, it only takes like ten minutes to list a person under someone's policy. Is this true because I'm not a related family member of hers or is she up to something suspicious?""

Car insurance costs help?

I'm getting a car. Is there some website that will tell me or help me figure out how much my car insurance will be every month?

Can my husband be on his parents car insurance?

Why my car insurance is so high and how can I lower it?

Recently I moved my house and my insurance went off the roof. For a 03 reg ford-ka its 2300 whereas the car cost only 1400. I also have passed pass-plus, but in vain. Checked on gocompares and other sites, but of no use. I am 28yrs old. I don't know what to do, I love to drive and want that car so bad? Do you guys have any idea? Should I go and check out with my bank for insurance and stuff? please help?""

Can you insure two people separately on the same car?

My girlfriend is doing her lessons and driving to work and having her own car would cost more than it does to get the bus with price of parking, and I don't want to put her on my insurance so would she be able to insure her self on my car as well on a different policy?""

How much is motorbike insurance for a 125cc bike roughly?

Im 17 at the moment but will be 18 on the 2nd of June. Not sure what bike I want yet but where I live you can get to anywhere that doesn't need transport. The nearest shop is 4 miles away. I have no public transport around here either. I would like a rough guess at what a 125cc bike would cost to insure on a year or 3 month basis? Thanks :)

Best renters insurance in california?

Motorcycle insurance?

I live in Southern California, what insurance compnay can I contact that will provide really cheap motorcycle insurance. Some of the rates out there are unbelieveable""

Motorcycle Insurance?

I am currently trying to get a motorcycle license and I'm wondering if there's any insurance company that would insure me. I'm 18, in California and I don't have a drivers license yet. I have passed the written test for a drivers license but haven't been able to schedule a behind the wheel test yet because my family's lack of cars (mom/dad uses them to get to work until ~8). So while I'm waiting for that to happen then I'm might as well try to get a motorcycle permit because we have my dad's old (but not so old) one. But question is, is there an insurance company that would insure somebody like me? Price isn't too much of an issue because I have a job with no added financial duties so to say.""

""Please tell me the difference between insure , assure , and ensure . Thank you""

Please tell me the difference between insure , assure , and ensure . Thank you""

How much do you insure for the Bodily Injury Limits?

What is Bodily Injury Limits on your car insurance? What is the limit should I have and why?

About how much does car insurance for a BMW cost??

i dont know if the car model matters but just in case lets say a 2004 BMW 325i for a guy under 30

Aviva 15 weeks free car insurance?

does 15 weeks free car insurance mean i pay nothing for 15 weeks,.. or just pay the deposit then free 15 weeks,.. also what does total charge for credit mean and when does it get paid? thanks""

What would be a ridiculous insurance to get?

Insurance insurance. If something happens to your insurance, you're covered. Ridiculous insurance. If you're ridiculous, you're covered. Cereal theft insurance. If someone steals your cereal, you're covered. [Look out Lucky Charms man.] Cereal recovery insurance. If you steal cereal, but they have cereal theft insurance, you're covered.""

How much is State Farm Car Insurance per month?

Health insurance .?

hello...i am 33 year old and going to school full-time. anyone out there know any cheap health insurance that i can apply for? i am mostly healthy but just in case. plus does the government support full-time students with at least health insurance? i am from memphis tn are. thank you!!!

How to get cheaper insurance for better car?

K, here is the deal, i have waiting for me a Porsche 944, but i am 17 so obviously i well be screwed by the system. So i was wondering if there are any ways to get cheaper insurance for the car-the car is an 86 if that info is useful.""

How much is auto insurance for a minor?

I'm about to get my license, how much is it to add me (16) to my parents car insurance? Don't give me anything like, It's different for everyone. I know. Just tell me what you are paying, or what you used to pay.""

What are the types of automobile insurance in USA ?

I'm doing a research for my course , comparing this service in my country to which in the USA ...and more specifically about the private and commercial cars... a claim saying that USA's provisions are strictly applied ..i.e the son driving his father private car is not entitled to any compensation in case an accident is occurred .....because it's not the son car..(which at the same time is not going the same way here ...as long as the car is insured so anyone drive it is insured ..regardless of the owner of the car...and just there it is the debate point...what do you think about it ? so ,I'll appreciate if you could feed me with any thoughts any idea any information any links concerning that or even automobile insurance in general...""

What is the cheapest car to insure for a 17 year old girl?

My daughter has started driving lessons and will soon be looking to take her driving test, we are looking to buy a car for her, but want to start with what are the cheapest cars to insure""

Adding additional people to my car insurance?

I was wondering why it is recommened that I add my boyfriend to my car insurance policy, just because he lives with me? I've talked with my insurance company and I know that my car is still covered in an accident if someone else is driving it, so why would it matter that my boyfriend be listed on the policy?""

How much is motorcycle insurance for a 24 yr old in NJ? How does it compare to car insurance?

I can get quotes but just want to get a quick rough estimate answer. And does nj provide refund for motorcycle courses to take to pass the licence? for ex. I know illinois do

Looking for a good health insurance?

I am 23 and my husband is 25, we are in great health, and are looking for health insurance. I want an affordable plan, but also one which is widely accepted. I know insurance isn't exactly affordable, but I hope you all can go along with what I am saying. Thanks""

What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

what is the absolute most shitty dirt cheap motorcycle insurance you can buy in the state of california?

How much insurance would i most likely pay? help please!?

I'm 17 years old and this is going to be my first car, my mom has a car under state farm insurance my grades are pretty top notch (3.7) I also took the defensive driving course car that i'm getting is a -------2001 mitsubishi eclipse sypder -------- what's the minimum amount i would have to pay you think?""

Cost to insure 2008 Kawasaki Ninja 250R?

I'm 18 years old, female, live in Virginia... not sure what else you need to know for an insurance quote, but about how much would it cost to insure? Let me know if you need more info. By the way- I've heard many, many times this bike is great for beginners- is this true? What are your recommendations?""

""Can we hit it out?(16 yr old, 20yr old guy)?""

and before you go saying I have no right being with someone that age and that I'll make a huge mistake; Im virgin. Im saving myself for marriage and I even got a purity ring. I know some of the tricks in the book(like the one where the older guy tricks the younger girl into thinking shes inlove to get in her pants and ect.) so Im no fool, my mom taught me better than that. But Im gonna flirt with him, he's really cool(he's a sk8er boi) and he's so short and his face looks so young that if you didnt know any better you'd swear he's like 17 or something. now once again, Im not stupid enough to have sex with him; I respect myself and body to much to let myself go like that, the only guy getting is this is the one on one knee with a diamond ring. Additional Details oh and ps. he does like me. he said once that my boyfriend better watch out, he's got a cute girlfriend. Someone might take her. and when he washes his car when Im outside he purposley takes off his shirt as if Im not watching him.""

Can anybody give a good estimate on how much my insurance would be for me driving a 2002 ford mustang?

Im 16 years old and i'm a girl if that matters. My mom will not let me get one but I really want that to be my first car. Also can you give me some ideas to convince her to let me get it. I really need the actual price of how much the insurance would be.

Can my husband be on his parents car insurance?

What is the best dental insurance company to get for a low income individual?

I'm getting by on a min wage, part time job....However, we really need dental care. Does anybody know of a good company to look into?""

What insurance can i get ? need advise?

i am 17 years old and i got a truck and im going to get my license in a few days how can i get insurance for my truck and what will be the cheapest price ? i need advise on what i should do and how i should get insurance like should i get it under my dads insurance or how ?

When does a car insurance policy pull your driving record?

If you have a car insurance policy that renews on a specific date, when does the insurance company actually pull your driving record? I heard they pull it once annually. Does it make sense to delay a speeding ticket court date until after the insurance renewal date? The insurance company in question is Amica.""

Car Insurance for 18 Year Old Girl? :P?

I am wondering how much my insurance will be once I have gotten my full license. I would be getting it for 6 months only and on my mother's car. I live in Ireland and am 18 years old. Any help would be great :) Thanks :D

Motocycle insurance??

i want to buy a motocycle (sports bike) buti would like to know an estimate of how much it will cost for insurance. Are sports bike more expensive than a car? I'm paying around 200 for my monthly with a car right now.

Best rate auto insurance?

i live in North york, On, CANADA i need best rate for auto insurance where i live""

Car insurance prices 4 ex------?

ex-fenders does any one know a good car insurance for my boyfriend he had a fight 4 years ago and he did not disclose this last year and had hius car taken of him , he did the form to fast on line and did not see the questionon, so ppl in the same boat can u comment and not a busy body who thinks they know it all

""I need cheap car insurance, I'm in college?""

I'm 19, a college kid and need car insurance. I now it's going to be crazy high, but if anyone has any insight or tips to make it cheaper, it would me much appreciated.""

Who are the best and worst car insurance companies?

I'm looking for a new car insurance company and would like to hear other peoples experiences to help me choose. Thanks!

Best Term Insurance plan ? Should I take Term Insurance Plans ? I am of age 28 years ?

What are term insurance plans.. what do they cover, do they cover any accidental disability, or medical disability, or natural death or do they cover only sudden death like death from accident or murder or calamity death etc? Please elaborate. Also tell which are best term insurance plans in india ?""

I need help on a car insurance question....?

so i got in a car crash and got the guys information; aside from his house address.... so my question is there any way that i can get a copy of that information or something with his name and adress included??

Car insurance In connecticut?

Im 18 and i just got my license about a month ago. I was talking to my dad about getting a car. and he said he was gonna give me my moms car which has new york plates on it for me to drive ( we use to live in ny and the plates are from there) and hes getting my mom a new car. i was talking to him about insurance and he said that i would be driving on his name. Hes not adding me to the insurance though cause he says its to much money. He told me that all i have to do is drive careful and not get into a accident.im still worried though cause an accident can happen regardless if Im careful or not. is this Legal ? to not be added to my dads insurance?

Would a 2002 Mustang Coupe have high insurance?

I understand most sports cars cause a spike in insurance money for young drivers. Would a 6 cylinder 2002 Mustang for a young driver under your parents policy be much more expensive? If so, how much?""

How much will gas and insurance cost for me?

I will be driving at least 30 miles per day on week days and about 12 miles per day on the weekend. I am 18 and in college. I haven't gotten my driver's license but plan to take the test in a month or two. I don't know what the MPG of my car will be as I have not purchase it yet but I can almost guarantee it will be fairly old so that may help determine it somewhat. An estimate on a cheap car would be nice too.

Should i get home insurance as a home owner or a rental ?

i own a house and i rent out part of it . i pay about 925 per year. i am moving out of state should i switch to rental property rather then owner occupied insurance ? which one is better or cheaper

How to find a dead relative's life insurance company without papers? Read details please?

Here is my situation My mother just died and I don't have the money to pay for a funeral right now. My mother has life insurance but I don't know where the papers with the information is. I don't know what the company's name is and I don't know how to contact them to report the death. Is there a way for me, her child, to get that information without the documents?""

Is it required to buy insurance if you rent a car ?

Well, I'm going to tell my mom to rent a car next Thursday and I'm not sure if she HAVE to buy insurance for it. She already have car insurance from Triple A, can she use the car insurance she have for the rental car? Is that okay? When I reserved the car for Avis last weekend, it said that you can purchase a protection for the car for an extra 18 dollars, im not sure if that's insurance or not. It said its recommended, but not required. Also, no where on the site said that you have to buy insurance for the rental car. Is there already insurance for those rental cars? I'm so confused. pleease help!!""

Does home owners insurance covers water leaking ac ?

my central unit ac is leaking ,i have insurace but not sure if it will cover it . please help!""

Cheap health insurance in Pennsylvania?

Which companies have good coverage in Philadelphia, and have affordable plans (~60-70 bucks). I'm looking at moderate deductible plans with copays for doctor office visits. Also, ...show more""

Car insurance loopholes?

Are there any loopholes or 'tricks' I can employ to lower my car insurance? I'm 19, and the quotes I am getting are between 4000-5000. It's obscene, especially when my motorbike does 0-60 in 3 seconds and has a top speed of 160mph yet it costs me 350 a year to insure. Apparently I might not be able to 'handle the power of a Vauxhall Corsa'. Car insurers won't even take my 3 years motorcycle NCB into account. Is there anything I can do?""

How much car insurance will cost?

i m 28 year female. i bought a used car for $3000. i have new G2 driving licence which i got last month.i have driver trainning certificate too. can someone please tell me how much my car insurance will be? i tried quote online, but i m not getting correct amount. please some one give me a average monthly payment that would cost?""

When getting your car inspected do they call your auto insurance company?

I was just wondering if in Pennsylvania when getting your car inspected do they call your insurance company to make sure you have insurance on the vehicle or do they just look at your insurance card.

How much would insurance be for a 18 year old girl for a 2006 mustang?

I live in NY. I'm looking into buying a 2006 mustang (not gt). I've had my license for about two years. I will be on my parents insurance (state farm) but the car will be in my name and I will need full coverage. I have a good job but, I'm just looking for estimates on what it will cost me monthly or yearly.Thank you!""

""Auto, Home, Renters, Life Insurance?""

Okay I am working on a budget project for a class, and one of the requirements is to find the costs of insurance. So my question is what would the average rate for auto, home, renters and life insurance for a married individual in early to mid 20's?""

I'm gonna be late on my State Farm car Insurance?

I have to pay the 6 month one and I'm late on it, I was supposed to pay for it today and it was my fault because I won't be having my paycheck til next week, on Friday. Do you think they will let me have an extension for the payment and if so, Do you think they will let me have the extension for 9 days? Please lmk, thanks.""

Can my husband be on his parents car insurance?

Thinking of buying an Audi TT next year..Insurance quotes ect.?

im quite young..but ive researched this and if i keep my job down id be able to afford this. would be my 2nd car. Any advice? obviously wouldnt buy a new one.. what sort of price would i expect for a good quality one? also.. car insurance.. what websites are the best to find out approx. figures? ive been on ones before where they ask for your details and call you back..obviously dont want this just yet..just an average quote online where nothings written in stone so to speak// thankyou SO much for any help xx

Health Insurance ????????????

I'm going to live in china for a year and would like to have insurance. I'm just living over there and wont have a job so i wont have health insurance. When i quit my job to move to china I wont have insurance so i need to get some for a whole year. Can someone point me in the right direction to get health insurance. Does anybody know what a basic health insurance plan for a year would cost. Any help would be appreciated. thanks

How much would insurance cost on a 125cc Skyjet?

Looking to buy a 125cc and want to know how much it would be to tax it, MOT it and insure it. Almost 17 and just want a brief idea about how to do it and what to expect.""

""Insurance Rates For '05-'09 Mustang GT, '02 WS6 Trans Am Ram Air And '02 Cadillac Eldorado?""

(thank you sooooo much for all answers to my previous question! It's a shame I couldn't shout thank you for pushing the vote button by mistake. I was a total noob here) As everyone recommended me to purchase a 4th gen Trans Am (hopefully the ram air of the final edition), with one person also picking the 05-09 Mustang GT out of my wishlist and my friend telling me to get a 92-02 Cadillac Eldorado, how much is the average of the insurance rates for each car? I'm 24, male, just graduated from college in Japan and have no driving history in America. I'm moving outta here in a year. My nationality is Japanese as well, which means I won't be trusted for a while. Sure my Japanese licence won't be valid in the US so I'll have to retake it over there hence no history... right? :/ Does anyone have a clue? Thanks a lot for reading :)""

Motorcycle insurance question?

Hey, I dropped my motorcycle on the right side yesterday during a turn. It's a 2009 Kawasaki Ninja 250r. Two pieces of fairing were damaged pretty badly (right side and front piece). I just got insurance the day of the drop (before dropping it). Will insurance cover the damage? Also is it even worth getting them involved? I already have very very high insurance ($400 a month for a Honda Odyssey) due to previous car accident. I don't want to get any more things on my record. Will my insurance go up if I call them? The replacement fairings will cost me $560 out my pocket. I have a $250 deductible on the bike. So I would save about $300. Is it worth it?""

""How can forcing us to buy health insurance, be the same as mandatory car insurance?""

I don't own a car, so I don't pay car insurance. Nobody is forcing me to buy it. But under the Obama individual mandate, we will all have to buy insurance or get fined. This is based on the assumption that you will get sick and not be able to afford your own care, and so will choose to be a burden. Those are a lot of assumptions. Can we force somebody to buy something that they don't want, based on assumptions that may or may not be true??""

Why do NEW drivers complain about how much it costs to insure there cars.?

Numbers DO NOT tell lies! my Sister works at a car insurance brokers and she told me The number of new drivers who are involved in accidents is UNREAL You CANT actually drive a car correctly when you have just passed your test (I know you think you can but you cant) So therefore you are a liability to other road users and therefore have to pay more to insure your car.

How much would full coverage insurance cost on a 1965 Silver Cloud 3 Rolls-Royce?

Male driver, clean driving history.""

Negative impacts on making all drivers have insurance?

also what are some positive impacts of making all drivers have insurance how would it help stop boy racers?

How long do I have once I cancel my auto insurance in Florida?

Okay so I just got a quote from Geico that is half of what I'm paying my current insurance company. My insurance payment is due the 23rd though. Now they told me that the whole process of signing up would take from a few days to 30. I wont be driving my car these holidays so would it be possible for me to cancel my coverage with the other company and sign up with Geico. If I cancel will my license get suspended? I just don't wanna have to send the tag back because it cost me 400 dollars to take out.

Would financing your first car make your insurance go up?

would financing your first car make your insurance go up? As in, a payment plan for a used car.""

Will my car insurance premium increase for passing a red light in NY?

This is my first moving violation, it originally was failure to stop for a school bus but it got reduced to passing a red light and is now only 3 points. I have a clean record otherwise and my auto insurance is under my mothers name, I am just a secondary driver under her quote. Will my insurance premium go up and if so will it be much? Is there anything that I can do to lower it if it does go up?""

Does Anybody Know How Much Motorcycle Insurance Will Be In Alabama----Allstate?

I am 15

""Could $5,000 provide healthcare for a family?""

If this credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market the ...show more""

Do you have to report a DUI to the car insurance company?

My friend got a DUI not too long ago. This is the state of Florida, and she has Allstate. I understand that her getting a DUI is now public records because she spent the night in jail. Because the fact that it's public records now, is she required to inform her Allstate insurance company about her DUI? Also, what will happen either way whether she reports it to insurance company or not? Will they remove her from her insurance or jack up the rates? It is her FIRST DUI and other than that she has a good driving record. Thanks.""

How much would storage insurance cost?

Im 16 year old guy, i have a 94 camaro z28 and i want to know what the insurance would be a month for storage, i have state farm insurance and currently pay $150 a month""

Does affordable car insurance exist for a 19 year old?

I'm a 19 year college student. Currently I'm a closing manager at McDonald's and a certified Cisco Network Associate. I'm in the process of buying a vehicle and was optimistic about it until I started to look for insurance. The cheapest policy I've found is $338 a month. There isn't any way I can afford that and the car payment. It's not that I'm lazy and don't work, I work 40 hour weeks plus overtime from closing. I live in a rural area (North Georgia Mountains) so taking the bus isn't a option for a 20 mile commute. My closest neighbor is 7 miles away so car pooling isn't realistic. I feel somewhat hopeless. I would join my parent's policy or something similar but I live on my own and have little to no contact with them. I've been borrowing my Mother's car to get to work but she's given me 3 weeks to get a vehicle or walk. I have found it to be almost impossible to transition into the real world and become an adult and live on my own. What's a guy to do in my situation? I can't work without transportation, and without work I can't pay bills. That American Dream I grew up hearing about seems to only exist for people who have established wealth and good parents. What's left for the others? Are people in my situation just ******?""

Question about first insurance quote for a young driver?

Last week I used autotrader to search for numerous quotes and found one for around 1450. Today I passed my driving test, and went back to the quote but it had to be renewed since last week which is fair enough. The lowest value today was 1576 which I am alright with. I refreshed the page a while later to find that quote had disappeared and the cheapest was 1620, with the company for that quote (elephant) at the bottom with an unable to find a quote detail. I thought it would come back soon, so I refreshed the page and then suddenly the price increased to 2950 minimum and many of the cheaper companies were now listed as unable to find a quote. Strange, but perhaps the websites are too busy to send data. An hour on though and the price is still 2950. Did anyone else have this problem? If so when was it fixed, the same day or next day? Thanks""

Im pregnant and dont have insurance?

im pregnant and the father picked up and left any way what do i do????? i really need insurance i need to make sure im okay please help thanks

How does paying for car insurance monthly work?

im thinking of taking out a policy with co-operative insurance. The cost is 2300 per year , but they want 700 up front and the rest to be payed in ten monthly installments. When would i start paying the monthly installments , would it be straight away?""

Does anyone know any really cheap car insurance companies for old cars?

I have an R Reg Corsa 1 Litre, and 6 years no claims, but it seems to be the age of the car that's bumping up my insurance policy? HELP!""

How much is car insurance for a 17 year old girl?

I'm trying to find out how much insurance will be when I buy my car, but websites like go compare wont let you check until your 17 :) No idea what you need to find out so heres some details :) Vauxhall Corsa Specification 1.0 12V GLS Transmission Manual Engine Size: 973 cc Fuel Type: Petrol Thank you :) x""

I knocked someones car but he claimed for a lot more and now my insurance has gone from 400 to 900 - help!!?

Back in June I knocked into a stationary vehicle in a car park. I waited for the guy to come back and apologised straight away. (when its your fault in life own up) He was initially annoyed (fair enough) but went on to tell me that someone else had knocked into his car recently and caused 600 worth of damage (the other driver had sped off and hed already had a quote for the work). I cant remember the exact wording of the next bit - but it was understood that I would pay whatever it cost on top of that to fix the area (bumper / side corner area) We exchanged details. I told my insurance company what had happened and the previous damage. There were also photos taken at the time that I forwarded on (not sure if they were actually any help) Next I hear his insurance company has approached mine with a bill for 700. The total amount for fixing his car. I brought up the matter of the previous damage - couple of conversations between insurance companies - his asking him directly if there was any previous damage and him saying no. I told my insurance company that there was a friend with me (we were walking our dogs in the park) who had heard the whole conversation - in fact she was the one that took the pictures. She is a responsible, respectable person who was happy to make a statement. I was told by the insurance company that as it was someone who knew me - they couldnt be seen as an impartial person and they ended up paying the whole amount to his insurance company. I have just received my new insurance quote. Last year it was 437 and now that I have lost my 3 years no claims bonus (I have been driving for much longer but have only owned a small van for 3 years (practicality for my dogs muddy feet) and insurance starts again for vans) but I also have this 700 fault against my name this year. My insurance quote is now 960. Is there anything I can do. Does anyone have advice for any further action I can take? I believe in taking responsibility for your actions - but I am being cheated here out of a lot of money and I dont know what to do. If 100 was down to me then I could have just paid that amount directly and not lost my no claims bonus. But as it stands it will cost me around 500 this year and more again on the consequent years of insurance. Sorry for this being a long one but I really am lost. My insurance is due on 7th Jan.""

Has cost of car insurance for girls been raised to match that of boys?

By girls and boys I mean, 17-25 who are given the most expensive insurance rates. Boys have had to pay more for insurance than girls, but I thought the companies were forced to make them equal recently? Has that been put in place or not yet? This is in the UK by the way.""

Will my insurance go up?

Yesterday somebody reversed into my parked car, she was completely at fault, if we decide to go through her insurance will my car insurance also go up? I'm 19 years old and just concerned due to the already ridiculous price of insurance.""

Can my husband be on his parents car insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/has-anyone-heard-company-affordable-health-benefits-llc-bruce-martin"

0 notes

chipsanddespair · 7 years

Photo

Clinton Naik

Argh, Im so angry today.

I dont know where this anger came from, but Ive just been cranky all day. I woke up and I just felt bored, and angry because of it, and so complacent and dissatisfied. My whole life, those who are in my life, my body, my bank account, where I stay…just, e v e r y t h i n g made/makes me unhappy. I want it to be better than it is right now. I just wanted some fun activity to wake up and do this Saturday. I wanted a partner to get up with me and motivate me. I wanted a house to myself to wake up and dawdle around in whilst I still woke up. I dont want a dog but I cant let him go. I do everything I can to make sure he is well taken care of still, but at the expense of my own happiness. He is a handful. He is too active and eats anything for any reason. Hes a bulldog but looks like a pitbull, so people judge him by his breed and I can tell they look at us like we are a part of a gang or something and it really pisses me off. It hadnt even reached midday yet and the downward spiral was beginning. I dont have that much money in the bank thanks to my obsessive need to pay back things and not be in debt. Even though Ive set it aside, as in most of what I earned this payday, I still feel snowed under and I will have to use my credit card and thus in turn, pay that back in the future. Earlier I was shown a bit of attitude from Beau about sending him some money to pay back for the times hed paid on my behalf. I thought I sent enough, I cant be sure because I didnt keep track of all the times and what that added up to in the end. Just know this, I have spent well enough on behalf of him too and havent seen compensation for that - it just set me right off to notice this ungrateful trait. I gave what I had left to him. He is the one that quit his job to pursue his passions and cannot control his impulsive preference for fresh cooked food (i.e. take out). This is a personal rant that probably wont make sense. Im not writing it to make sense to anyone. Im just letting whatever needs to come out, come out. Im still pissed off. I dont feel like this relationship works anymore. I dont want to take care of anyone else except myself, maybe I should re home the dog for my well-being. I try my best with him but its just getting too much. It does not help that we live in a small place unsuitable for dogs and we make do with the space we have but its just, no backyard equals poop stops out on the roadside. Anyone reading this would probably judge me, people tend to do that, and I totally get it. I kind of walk the same line as well sometimes. But argh, I just need to complain, pettiness and all. Because Im feeling better as I do it. I had a long phone call today with my Dad. I hadnt spoken to him in ages and it was nice to catch up. I got mad though, he has a knack for not listening. Or you say something and hell say something different as if he wasnt listening. Or hell retell a story hes told a thousand times. I need to be easier on the people who retell me stuff, I just have a big ego and that ego doesnt want to be seen as stupid. Im still mad, but better. I just want to get out of here, I want to drive a thousand miles in one direction and not have to worry about anyone else or any responsibilities. I caught my reflection in the mirror, I exhaled and relaxed my stomach and it spilled out. I look like Im pregnant and my back hurts because of all this weight. Does anyone ever get caught in that pit of despair where they just cant talk. I dont want to cry for help because Im angry at every single person I think Id meet, but I most definitely need some kind of help, or something, I dont know. Conflict is the worst. I need to hold on to hope, and cut this rage in half. Sit down with it for a bit and let it tell me what it needs to. Im not mad at anyone, I truly am not. Im disappointed, maybe, that people cant read my mind, or they arent empaths so they cant understand what I feel and give me what I need. So in turn, I need myself. This is just a slump. A rough patch on the windy road to happiness. They say happiness is a choice, and okay, I choose to be happy now. I have identified my anger, I have identified my dissatisfaction with my current relationship. I have identified that what I am doing now makes me feel somewhat better. I go back and forth still, angry and okay, angry and okay. An annoying song always played on the radio echoes in my head and it only serves to irk me. Is it wrong of me to want the hurricane to come down here and devastate. If it were only me, I would be all for it. No one else would have to get hurt. Im weird like that. I feel like I have such a mundane life that anything like fire drills, floods, tremors, anything that will rip me out of everyday life, those things will liberate me and I will have something else to live for. My basic needs will be more important than my need to go to work and pay bills and expenses. That I will have to survive and experience the thrill of survival rather than crawl through this oppressive corporate world. When I had a freak out like this, mid-January some time, or February. I remember just collapsing in on myself. I couldnt speak, I couldnt feel anything good. I lay down, I wasnt even sleepy, I cried and cried and every emotion was just desolate and I couldnt get up or eat. Beau was there however he could be, but its never quite what I think I need? I appreciate what he does, in all his limited knowledge, but theres something thats missing, compared to someone who has had years in this world and lived an involved and rich life, does that make sense? I need someone, who knows what its like to suffer and have come to terms with their torment, not someone who has known anxiety all his life and not fully reflected upon it. Its not his fault though. Nothing that happens to me is anyones fault, I must remember that. I choose who is in my life, and because of how I have chosen to go about things, I have no one close to me anymore. They are overseas, and available by message but I cant bear to be askedHow are you? How are things? Because I have so little going on right now and I am just not in a mentally healthy space to hear about all the great things others are doing. Does that make me horrible? If it does, Im quite used to being horrible.

POSITIVE. Got to remain positive. Things that are getting me down is: EVERYTHING. BUT, what can I do to fix it?

I am okay for funds. I need to buy me food for the week but I can try and make that a total cost of $50. In that case, I will only have to repay the credit card $100 and that is doable for when the time comes. I will have to pay for gas soon, $60, $160. That is okay. Im taking Beaus rainy day fund for a ticket he racked up using my car and I will also use that for board and pay it back slowly because Im still mad he even dared call my contributionlittle given our circumstances. I will check out the gym tomorrow, have a look around, and when I have the funds, I shall join asap and proceed to go to group fitness classes after work. By the looks of it, the best classes start from Wednesday through to Sunday. Four days of seven is okay! Monday and Tuesday can be swims or dog walks. I need to get my Fitbit charged so I can monitor my calories burned. That being said, before even going food shopping, I need me a caloric diet plan and I will stick to that like no other. Its funny, my biggest personal growths are always from moments between Beau and I that further separate us. I dont know if thats actually good or not but personally I feel motivated to get myself sorted the more he makes me regret wanting to be associated together. That does actually sound really toxic, well see how we are by the years end. I should do a weight loss progress report after this. I need my weight and measurements, do some calculations for calories and then think about what I like eating and fit that into my caloric diet. What I learnt when I was having fun with this last year was that even though 1700 calories is pretty hard to stay at or under, if you go and burn a few 100 at the gym, youre all sorted! You can eat more, you dont feel like youre starving and you get to ride the wave of endorphins because of the exercise - win win!

I feel like theres something missing.

I could tidy the room a bit. I need to buy more tights - they are usually $6 a pair. I think I could get three. $178.

Oh my gosh. I owe a friend a banner designed on photoshop, and because I take a long time to do things, especially creative things since Im not bursting with ideas, that is low key stressing me out because I dont want to let him down. Oh wow, maybe thats why I have such salty feelings :o

I have to set aside some time to do that tomorrow.

On an consistency achievement note, I have been diligently salt water soaking my piercing that was giving me trouble and it looks like its settling down :)

I already feel better. You know what would make it even better, a nice hot shower. Oh yes, I feel way better. Oh hey, and why not stop there, Im going to make me a perfectly tempered hot cup of tea and tune in to a Netflix movie before I say goodnight to my subscription. I feel like rewarding my eyes and brain with the talents of Heath Ledger and his amazing portrayal of the Joker.

So, tonight:

caloric diet to be made

weight and measurements to be taken

tidy room a bit

shower

watch The Dark Knight after cup of tea is made

Tomorrow:

design banner for friend

scope out gym (maybe sign up if they offer something beneficial for me in my circumstance)

check out this yoga/pilates place near house

laundry! clothes, sheets and blankets

give $200 board to landlord

Next three days:

pay off $150 ticket

cancel Netflix

pay car rego $13

Letting out the bad unfiltered helps to clear way for the good. And planning how to get the good gets your mind thinking of how to be productive.

Thank you, blog <3

#chips #despair

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