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#in my defense I'm burnt out
aloraaki3 · 2 months
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Damian and Djinn: *covered in animal fur because pets* Billy: *fuckin dies*
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radioves · 1 year
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its quite shrimple actually
#[Intro: Docm77] Listen Grian Nobody touches my bush You're done [Verse 1: Docm77] It all started when Grian touched my redstone He played#himself like a xylophone set on automatic Doc Monster is a savage‚ with technical skills And crazy vocal acrobatics I’m a legend of NHO‚#with Etho‚ Beef and Double O DocMC is coming for you sevenfold Got Rendog and other firemen To douse the flames that you shoot at this#To douse the flames that you shoot at this leviathan Iskall can try again [Verse 2: Wels & Xisuma] Yo You think i’m hiding‚ I’m just biding#my time Putting pen to paper‚ coming up with rhymes We’re the star-studded group that got together just to crush you Once we start something#you know we're gonna see it through I'm the knight‚ the soldier who brings the fight at first light Y'all had to incite‚ so now I gotta#indict You're guilty of getting murdered with words Y'all are out-gunned‚ go home nerds Wohoo [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang Hermit Gang Hermit#Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang Hermit#Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 3: False & Xisuma] If you think you can stop the symmetry‚ that's false G Team is dialing for help‚#but I'm ignoring their calls And when their bodies dissolve‚ you’ll know that False’s on a killing spree Try to stop my pvp and perish#painfully I'm the queen of hearts‚ heads and body parts Your diamond armor can’t compare to my martial arts I'll send a poison dart‚ to make#you breathe your final breath G Team's name will be the only thing left Yeah [Verse 4: Impulse] Caffeinated‚ animated‚ redstone innovator My#behavior's crazy‚ can’t phase me‚ impulse is never lazy (Uh) Tango‚ why would you betray me‚ now my scope is aiming (What) Without a sound‚#without no hesitation‚ my creations are amazing Better watch your step or the G Team will end up blazing Who's the better team? There is no#controversy But before it's said and done you'll be begging us for mercy (All-right) [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚#Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 5: Xisuma] X gone give it to ya‚ I'm gone give it to ya X gone give it to ya‚ WHAT Lyrical boxing‚ dropping#blows on all my foes And the G Team they're looking unclean needing some sunscreen Getting burnt by words to hurt this herd of nerds It’s#absurd how my rhymes got them injured Danger‚ danger I got lasers to cut 'em up like razors It's flexin' season and I got flavor Their#Their weak defenses like trenches and fences That these dense heads are presenting [Bridge: Xisuma & Docm77] They're presenting them alright#they're not very good I could walk over that‚ I could jump over that I could use an ender pearl I could use my elytra Come on G Team‚ jeeze#Yo‚ I don't know what to say Um‚ let me think [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Verse 6:#Rendog] Now I'm back‚ got some things I wanna say (Yeah) Whats the letter that starts the alphabet‚ Ay Ladies gotta get in line‚ the#diggity's be on the way (Cliff) Cleo dont know who she freaking with (Ooh) All the signs say to notify her next of kin This diggity dog be#dropping bombs‚ nothing but hits (Ay) Spit that rhyme again (brrr)‚ 'cause the message is I can mumble rap and still be the best there is#(Woo-ah) [Chorus: All] Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang#Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang Hermit Gang‚ Hermit Gang [Outro: Mumbo] Oh you wanted me to do a verse? I’ll#I'll have to check with G Team- I mean uh‚ I'd have to‚ I'll have to check with my schedule And see if I can...see if I'm able to do that#sort of thing I'm a busy guy‚ got lots of ....things to do Yeah‚ I mean‚ I just don't know if its a good idea for me to be part of this song
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rosalesbeausderholle · 7 months
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I hate my life and my mind and everything. I don't know how I even managed to ever get good grades. It's 12 hours until my M.A Thesis defense. I haven't even made the damned PowerPoint yet. I've tried. I've spent the entirety of the last week trying that. Yet, basically all I've done is stare at my computer, draft, delete, draft, delete, on and on and on. I can't even focus enough to read my whole thesis again. I CANNOT do this. I try and focus and I just can't. There's absolutely no way I can do this. I have twelve hours. Fuck.
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very-lost-hobbit · 3 months
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Time for some malicious compliance for the "parental ""rights""" Bullshit some of the provinces are pushing, at least until a court somewhere overthrows them as the illegal human rights violations they are. "Hello Mrs. Anderson I'm just calling to ask if it's alright for your son to go by Brandon A, as there are 3 other Brandons in his class. 😊 Is this alright with you? 😊 We need these consent forms to be signed, please. 😊 Oh he also likes going by A-man and his nickname this week is pudding because of that incident, you know how kids are.😊 I'm afraid I'll need consent forms for those as well (and lets not forget he'll piss and moan about you being a buzzkill if you don't)😊 If you find this fucking annoying and a waste of your time and mine when I should be teaching your kid long division, take it up with Premiers Higgs, Moe, or Smith. Or all three at once. 😊 Yes I WILL be contacting you again if he decides he wants the nickname "Super Awesome Cool Dude" 😊
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I know we’re all ‘eat the rich’ and ‘fuck the police’ here...
But does anyone else get this feeling of resentment that you feel isn’t healthy, even if you feel you’re completely justified in it?
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phynali · 2 years
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Boss/mentor made me outline all the tasks, meetings, planned projects etc I'm on for the next several weeks (before teaching starts up again) to help me organize my time and set realistic goals
Turns out I'm trying to fit 240+ hours of work into 190 hours of time to actually do that work
So that's fun
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autistickaitovocaloid · 8 months
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I know I shouldn't feel bad about admitting this but I've spent more time playing London Life than I've spent playing the actual game it's from...
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nivq87 · 11 months
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wait. hang on wait a sec. I need a moment
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hells-wasabii · 3 months
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Hey!! I had an Adam request for Hazbin Hotel. If possible, could it be a mixture of headcanon and drabble? If not, just drabble, please!!
So imagine if Adam had escaped before being killed by Nifty, and is still incredibly hurt. The angels had left, thinking he had died, leaving him behind. Then demon reader finds him bleeding out, and despite knowing who he is and what he's done to their kind, they still help him and let him stay at their apartment to heal properly, and hopefully tries to change his mind on Hell and other demons.
Gn reader would be great, if you could please! - 🍋
Howdy hey! I'm really glad you asked for a half and half, I don't think i'd be able to delve into this request proper. Also, adam is seriously growing on me. I got to work on my requests today later than i would've liked though, so I'll try to make up for lost time
Character: Adam
Type: Headcanons+Drabble (injured!Adam x sinner!reader, Angst, Fluff)
Adam, despite what you might think, fully understands the severity of the situation. He knows that he's royally fucked, especially if he happens across the wrong demon. He also knows that heaven’s not coming for him. The fact that what was left of his army had retreated was testament enough that they believed him to be dead.
Yeah, he might’ve escaped with his life but he wasn’t out of the woods yet. Could you imagine what could happen if he ran into somebody with a grudge against him specifically? It wasn't like he was subtle about his identity at the moment, covered in golden blood, oh, and of course, the wings were a dead giveaway. 
So when the very first man collapsed in some dirty alley way he thought he was done for. That was where he met you. You were an anomaly to Adam. Why would you, a sinner, help him of all people? He figured that you just didn’t know who he was as you took him back to your home to help him heal. That assumption didn’t last long, though, you called him by his name so you definitely knew who he was.
When you’re helping him heal, offering up your apartment as a place for him to recuperate, he’s gonna be bitching about it the whole time. You knew who he was, so now there was no way he’d let you forget he was the first man and how absurd it was that he was left like this. He’d complain about any little thing too, he’s used to a life of comfort, used to getting what he wants when he wants it. And you’d best believe you’re going to hear about how he hasn’t gotten laid since getting stuck down in hell.
Adam couldn’t believe it as he stared at the calendar hung on the wall of your dingy apartment. Despite all the slack he’s given you, the first man had long since decided that maybe you weren’t so bad for some loser sinner. The last of his wounds were healed now, something he had you to thank for. Bones were set properly, and he’d even been able to stave off infections under your care.
The angel was grateful. He really was. And as uncommon as it was, he wanted to show you just how grateful he was. You had gone off somewhere, work you said, but he wasn’t sure what you did for work now that he thought about it. You had probably mentioned it early on in his stay, but at that point, he didn’t really listen to much of what you said.
So, he decided to make you something to eat, you should be back in an hour anyway.
Simple enough, right? There was some pasta in the cupboards, he’d start with that.
Oh, you were gonna be so impressed! After all, you were going to eat a meal prepared by the first man here! This surprise totally-not-a-date-even-though-he-maybe-wanted-it-to-be dinner was going to rock!
...
In his defense, he had been left alone. You were pretty lucky to have gotten home when you did, or you were sure your kitchen would've been burnt down. You sighed, turning to the angel who was making a rather convincing impression of a kicked puppy. Instead of scolding him, you offer a small smile. "Why don't we just get takeout?"
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nsharks · 5 months
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bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part thirteen —other parts
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pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader words: 3k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival.
"Twix."
Blue says your name in a single exhale of relief. You didn't expect her to be awake. She sits with her legs outstretched by a barely-there fire as you enter the cabin, the busted door groaning shut behind you. Fatigue sinks you to the floor beside her. You're about to curl your numb hands within the long sleeves of your new jacket, but the burn on your fingers makes you wince from the friction.
“You're filthy." She reaches for your hand, gently inspecting the burn. "And someone hurt you."
"Well, technically, I hurt them."
Blue shakes her head, the tone of her voice hardening the moment she drops your hand. "You shouldn't have gone."
"It was important—"
"It was stupid. You saw how those guys tried to kill us!" She huffs out a breath before snapping her gaze back to the flames. "You... you didn't tell me you were leaving. You didn't even say goodbye. I just woke up and you were gone.”
"I didn't want to wake you this morning because you needed rest,” you reason.
"That's a shitty excuse," she grumbles back, gesturing to the pink bracelet on her wrist. "I may not have a lot of friends, but I do know they're supposed to tell each other things like this."
Your eyes trail down from the burnt skin on your fingers, red and bubbly, to the cheap, plastic beads encompassing your wrist.
"You're right," you speak softly. "I should have told you."
A few minutes lapse in thick silence. In the midst of it, you swallow a few chalky pills to help with all the pain. You've been conservative in using them so far, but with your additional score of medicine, you figure you can afford some relief. There's no way you'll be able to sleep with your bitten wrist throbbing incessantly.
You're about to lean against the wall and let your eyes flutter shut when Blue speaks again, this time her voice so quiet you wonder if you're imagining it. 
"You know, I was excited to go on this trip," she whispers, still looking at the fire. "I even secretly hoped we'd run into other people, just because—" she pauses to swallow, "—because I never get to meet any. And the ones we have met, my dad always kills. Except for you."
She drags her sleeve over her face and it’s now you notice she is crying. A knot forms in your throat and, after the day you've had, you struggle to find the right words. 
"He kills them for a reason," you settle on, voice equally hushed. "A lot of people are—"
"A threat, I know." Blue repeats the words like a bitter mantra, then looks at her bandaged leg. "What does it feel like?" she asks after a moment, sliding her glossy eyes to yours. “Killing a person. Ghost told me it feels just like killing an animal or a Grey."
You inhale, then fix your stare to the dark ceiling. "No— I don't think it feels the same. It's much worse. I still get sick from it,” you admit.
"How many have you killed?"
"I don't remember anymore, but not that many." Certainly not as many as Ghost has. "It was always in self-defense. Always because I had to."
"I wish nobody ever had to," she says.
"I know. Me, too.”
With a sigh, she carefully scoots closer to you. "I'm sorry for getting mad. I just want to go home.”
"Don't be sorry. I’m the one who is sorry." You shake your head and offer her a shoulder until both of you have your backs against the wall. Her hair tickles your cheek. A small hand slips around your waist in a tender embrace, her fingers latching onto the fabric of the jacket. The sore muscles of your core flex instinctively from the touch before you finally force yourself to relax. It’s just Blue.
"Your dad says we're going back tomorrow,” you whisper, jaw grazing the crown of her head. “Sleep. It'll be a long day again."
"A long day for you maybe," she murmurs against your shoulder. "I get to ride on his back."
"Lucky you." You drape the heavy blanket over your bodies. Together you are warmer, if only by a little. 
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Deft wind whooshes through the trees, kissing your wet skin. Splotches of wriggling orange and red follow the water's current, along with a trail of brown muck as you scrub your breasts, hair, and cheeks. The sight of fish makes your stomach grumble. It's been far too long since you've had anything but squirrel and deer and berries, but this is not the time or place to ponder a way to catch one. The blue wash of early morning lightens with each second that passes. You wring out your hair, rewrap your wrist, and put your clothes back on before carefully climbing up the slope, satisfied enough with your icy bath.
"Ready," you announce, blowing a white breath into your hands and rubbing them together. Ghost crouches down so Blue can teeter onto his back. The backpack full of ammo hugs his front. He appears exceptionally bulky with all the baggage, and yet, he makes it look effortless.
Together, you head towards the infamous bridge, if one could call it that. Silvery fog makes it hard to see more than ten meters ahead of you, but Ghost seems to have the area memorized. Your hands ball up in your pockets, feeling empty and useless. With no bow, you have to rely on Ghost to get you back. It's a weird thing. Though, you suppose if there's anyone you'd want to be stuck out here with, it would be him. His presence alone offers more safety than the measly knife around your ankle.
"Ghost, we should go behind her," Blue says when you reach the beam.
He steps aside to allow you on first. "Try not to go for a swim this time."
A flush of pink bites your cheeks, though you blame it on the cold. It's hard to believe just four days ago you slipped off this thing. With his hands preoccupied, Ghost can't hold onto your shoulders like before, but he lingers close behind and repeatedly orders you to keep your eyes on the bank. 
Once you're all across, a calm quiet settles, a vast contrast to how talkative Blue was the first time around. It makes you absentmindedly pick the skin around your nails. By the time you reach the road, you've looked behind your shoulder at least ten times, half-expecting to spot a burnt face hiding among the trees. Squirrels prattle by. A starling calls above your head. But no people. You force your eyes onward and take a deep breath.
"So, uh, would you rather get mauled by a bear," you break the silence, stepping over a stray tire, "—or be struck by lightning?"
It takes a second for Blue to respond. "Oh. That's a good one. Do I have a gun while the bear attacks me?"
"No. No weapons. Just you and the bear."
"Then lightning." She pats Ghost's shoulder. "Could you take a bear?"
"On a good day, maybe," he answers.
"What about you, Twix?"
"No," you instantly scoff, kicking at a rock. "A bear would rip me apart. I would choose lightning because it'd be quick."
"Okay, I have one," Blue quips. "Would you rather be ripped in half, or fall off a tall building?"
"Ripped in half by what?" Ghost asks, tilting his head back.
"It doesn't matter." You can hear the roll of her eyes.
"It does matter. Might change my answer."
"Fall off a building," you interject. "The way down would suck, but I bet you don't feel a thing once you hit the ground."
"But you'd look like a dead bug," says Blue.
"I don't care what I look like. I'll be dead."
Ghost clears his throat. "My turn, then."
"No! You have to pick one," she exclaims. 
"Building," he drawls. A shadow of movement passes to the right of you. You naturally flinch closer to them, but it's just a doe hunkering down tall weeds that reach out of the concrete. A chuff of breath leaves your lips as you look away, only to find Ghost staring at you. For a few seconds, his eyes flicker between you and the deer before he goes back to focusing straight ahead. 
"Would you rather," he begins, "—chop off all your fingers, or take out your own eyes?"
"What do I use to take out my eyes?" Blue asks.
"Knife."
"I guess my eyes," she winces. "I mean, I'd rather get rid of two things than ten."
They both glance at you expectantly. A frigid gust of northern air takes hold of your hair, so you tuck the unruly strands behind your ears. "Uh, fingers," you decide after a moment. "I could probably live without them."
In the village, the air stinks enough for Ghost to come to a halt. Before, he was able to pass right through. This time, a group of fourteen or fifteen Greys seems to be trapped on the main street between a crumbled wall and a fallen telephone pole. He has to decide between expending ammo or time. It's not long before he nods to a small building and the three of you scale the rusted fire escape. From the safe distance of the roof, he takes out the Greys one by one with an accuracy that barely leaves a dent in the ample stockpile of cartridges. With the route cleared, he's saved at least an hour or two of precious daylight. 
The fog lifts. The ambery sun tries to peek through the clouds, but the sky is bent on staying grey. By the time you are back, your blisters have blisters. Blue has fallen asleep, cheek smushed against the back of Ghost's neck. Relief, thick and palpable, tastes sweet on your tongue. The fence, the rabbit hutch, the much-cozier cabin; none of it is home to you, but still, it calls your name in a welcoming coo. 
You have to aim Ghost's flashlight so he can unlock the gate. Blue stirs, but her eyes remain closed even when he pushes inside the cabin. It's shrouded in darkness. You prop the flashlight on the table as his boots scuffle against the floor.
He puts her to bed. As he does, you feel around for the sofa and nearly choke when your worn fingertips graze shabby fabric. Not icy water or solid wood or muddy ground, but something soft. You're about to sink into it, your bones desperate for the springy cushions, when he returns to the threshold of the hallway with an ugly, flannel sheet in his hands. 
"Here."
It's hard to be certain if you thank him or not; your brain conjures up the words, but your voice doesn't seem to function quite right. One thing is certain: you accept the sheet, tuck it on with urgency, and then lay down, burying your face in the crook of the pillow and arm. You kick off your boots and let the darkness take you, swift and heavy. It could be a coma or death disguised as sleep, and you figure you'd still slip into it without fuss. 
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Those first days back are quiet. Blissfully uneventful. You sleep and sleep. In fact, you don't move from the couch except to relieve yourself and eat a little. Ghost and Blue don't seem to do much, either. Or maybe you just don't notice.
At one point, you wake up to a small stack of shirts beside the couch. All black. One long sleeve, the rest short. You change into one and continue sleeping. 
At another point, Blue hovers above you with a whisper that draws out a groan from you. "Hey. Ghost is making me skin some rabbits. Apparently, it's the only chore I can't get out of. Do you want to help me?"
"I think I'm good." You stuff the pillow over your face to make your point. 
"You've been sleeping for three days, you know."
"I could go for another three."
She takes the hint and staggers away. Walking now. You hear her right leg drag a little.
The sleep is good until it's not.
On the fifth night, you're no longer fatigued enough to keep the dreams squandered. They start as whispers. Hoarse and gritty. Then they get louder and louder, shouting your name until they are so loud it feels like someone is screaming in your ear. Different voices blend into an indecipherable cacophony. One screams in pain; another in anger. You feel someone's cold fingers take hold of your neck and are finally pried awake, flying up against the couch with fiery pants burning through your lungs. But all that's there is a dark room.
Sweat clings to every inch of you. It feels like everything is on fire, and all you want to do is cool down. You haven't bathed since the river. Catching your breath, you swing your legs down and quietly pad to the bathroom where you hope a little water is left. Luckily, in the glint of moonlight, you find a bucket used for washing hands and scoop some to your face. Then, you comb it through your sweat-laced hair. 
You unwrap your wrist and brush your fingers over the bite. You dab some water on it. You can't see well, but you feel the constellation of congealed scabs beneath your fingertips. Scars. Wounds. Your nostrils flare as a you wonder if one day you'll be so covered in them you won't even look like yourself. It's a good thing there is not enough light to spot the reflection of your face in the mirror, because you're not thrilled to greet the one now on your brow.
On your way out of the bathroom, something solid and immobile blocks your path. You startle backward, sucking in air as you peer up at a masked face. Ghost. It's Ghost. You haven't spoken to him since getting back, and in this moment, you long for the ability to push past him, but his wide shoulders consume the narrow hall. 
It's silly to think you can avoid him when you sleep in the same space now. The thing is— you have no idea what to think of him. Before, it was easy to settle on fear of how easily he could snap your neck, and annoyance for how he treated you. And then, when forced to, you could engage in a pragmatic conversation about how to keep yourselves alive.
But now, you don't know what you are supposed to feel around him, and you have spent zero time reflecting on it so far.
"Sorry. I was just, uh, washing my face."
"In the middle of the night?" he rasps, tilting his gaze down.
You teeter back a step, keeping a healthy bubble of space between your bodies. You're not sure why he hasn't just moved out of the way, or what he would be up and about for at this hour, but briefly, you wonder if he is suspicious of you. If after everything you went through, he still thinks you're trying to do something and might send you back to the shed. The three of you relieve yourself outside the cabin since the plumbing doesn't work, so it certainly does seem odd that you'd be in the bathroom during the night. 
"I was sweating a lot." Inwardly, you curse at yourself. "I mean, I haven't bathed since we got back, and I..." You trail off in a whisper.
"And you what?"
"I don't know." You fiddle with the hem of the oversized shirt he gave you. "I'm not trying to kill you or your daughter in your sleep, though, if that's what you're thinking."
He simply stares at you. It feels like he can see right through you, and your eyes drop to your wool socks. Then, he murmurs, “I wasn't thinking that."
"Okay," you reply carefully. "Could you... please move, then?"
Finally, he steps out of the way, but you feel the burn of his eyes on your skin as you brush past him. 
"Twix."
You pause, looking back. "Yes?"
A shake of his head. And then: "Take a proper bath tomorrow. You could use it.”
You bite the inside of your cheek. "Will do." 
With that, you crawl back onto the couch.
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aoioozora · 3 months
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Simon.
Part 1
Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9
Character: Simon Riley / Ghost Content: Biker! Ghost x Fem! Reader, strangers to lovers, fluff, civilian au Photo credit: quinci Note: Had 'Meddle About' by Chase Atlantic on repeat as I wrote this in one sitting. My first COD fanfiction. Enjoy!
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Their hands squeezed against your arms and wrists. You tried to pull and yank away in resistance to their unwanted advances.
“Hey, c'mon, you're cute! You should come with us.” one of them said in a voice that was meant to sound silky and inviting, but came off as sleazy.
Words failed you, all of them stuck in your throat, a large lump of fear blocking them from escaping your lips, tightening within your neck like a balloon about to burst. The memory of self-defense vanished from your muscles as you pitifully tried to fight off three men who were  taller and bigger than you with your pathetic grunts and pleas to be released.
Upon the dark and empty streets, a distant hum of an engine, accompanied by a singular bright light which seemed like a firefly's glow, appeared to he approaching. You took no notice.
The hum of the distant engine grew about as loud as a cat's threatening growl, and the light as that of a strong flashlight. It still didn't catch your notice. 
The growl turned into a loud, deafening roar, seemingly at will, vibrating the still air like an earthquake. It caught all of your attention as it drew near at an alarming speed towards the four of you. 
The three men shrieked with fright, automatically letting your hands go in the process, and covered their faces with their arms. The growling, glowing thing screeched to a halt inches in front of them, sending the sharp smell of burnt rubber up their noses.
When the four of you looked, there stood a shiny, jet black sports motorcycle, upon which sat a rider. He was helmeted, also dressed in ripped black jeans that hugged his tree trunk-like thighs, a black leather jacket that tightened against his muscular arms and broad shoulders. The flickering white light of the street lamp cast a ghastly, ominous glow over him, making him look like some sort of ghost from an urban legend.
The three men recovered from their shock and opened their mouths to berate this biker for interrupting them, but before they even did, the biker flicked up the dark visor of his helmet and revealed his equally dark, glaring eyes. 
“What are you doing with my girlfriend?” asked the biker, enunciating every word, slowly, like he was holding back a dam's amount of rage. His gruff, gravelly, British accented voice was muffled slightly by the balaclava he wore under the helmet, yet every word was heard loud and clear as if they were spoken through a megaphone, and the three men immediately stepped back from you, knowing that messing with another man's girl would have dire consequences. 
You didn't know you had a boyfriend. Yet you played along. 
“Simon!” You cried as you ran to him, going behind the motorcycle and hiding behind his large body. You decided to name him whatever came to mind first.
He sat up straight on his motorcycle to keep you hidden from them as he balanced on the sleek vehicle which rumbled like a distant thunder between his legs. He glared at the three men. “Well?” he asked with a growl that very well sounded the same as the roar of his vehicle's engine. 
They simply backed off without a word, knowing they wouldn't win. The mysterious motorcyclist who you named ‘Simon’, stayed until the three men were out of sight while you still stood behind him, watching them leave. 
“You okay?” he finally asked you when the coast was clear, now turning his dark eyes over his shoulder, where you were standing. 
You let out an exhale you didn't know you were holding. “I'm fine,” You replied with some effort, massaging your aching wrists. 
He paused before replying; he could clearly see that you were rattled by the experience, considering how your eyes still looked apprehensive like that of a hunted rabbit’s. His eyes flickered to your wrists, and he looked back at you. “Did they hurt you?” he asked softly. 
“They just held me tight. I mean, my arms.” You exhaled again, the ache in your wrists easing slightly. Words still seemed to fail you, but they now flowed out a little easier. 
He seemed slightly taken aback by how nonchalantly you said this, like it was a common thing. “Bastards.” he growled in his very distinct accent, clearly not the posh British accent you knew. “This place isn't safe. What were you loitering around here for?” he asked, now holding the handles of his motorcycle as he leaned back and moved his legs, moving the motorcycle backwards so that it was now back on the street. 
You moved away to give him space, and then replied, “A friend of mine lives here. There was a party at her place.” 
His eyes narrowed slightly, and he now leaned forward to cross his arms on the tank of his vehicle. “Do you want to get out of here safely without getting hounded by blokes like those?” he asked. 
“Yes!” you answered immediately. Somehow, you felt like you could trust this man somewhat, especially after he saved you and enquired about your wellbeing after that ordeal. 
He leaned back slightly and patted the pillion behind him. “Get on. I'll be your taxi tonight.”
You blinked. “Are you sure? I don't want to bother you too much.” 
“Look here, lass,” he started, leaning forward again, “I don't know if you know, but besides those cunts, there are muggers here too. And they all wake up at night. If you want to get out of here safely and not be a news report tomorrow, then get on." He pointed a thumb over his shoulder, "I'll take you wherever you need to go.”
You were surprised by his straightforwardness, yet it somehow seemed apt for a man with a gruff voice and a fearless attitude. Not another word more, you climbed up on the pillion of his motorcycle with some stumbling, but the man was patient, and leaned his motorcycle to the side to lower it slightly, so you could get on easier. As you were doing this, you couldn't help but notice the musky, earthy smell of his perfume, which reminded you of wet soil, rain, and dark chocolate; a positively divine scent.
“What's your name?” You asked as soon as you were comfortably settled on the seat. 
There was a moment's pause before he answered, “Simon,” with an almost careful tone, as if he wanted to see your reaction. 
As he expected, your eyes were wide with surprise. It melted away slightly as you thought he was just playing around with you. "Come on, that's the name I called you by earlier. What's your actual name?"
"It's Simon." he insisted.
You blinked yet again. "What a coincidence," You said laughingly, "I could've never imagined getting your name right on accident."
“I confess, you surprised me there.” His voice trailed off at the end, as if he wanted to say something cheesy, but he stopped himself, remembering that you were a stranger and not his friend. He leaned back again, yet again moving his motorcycle backwards. 
You instinctively took hold of his shoulder to keep yourself steady as he moved. You tried to ignore it, but you noted how broad and rugged his shoulders were. 
“So, where d'you wanna go?” he asked, taking hold of the handles and twisting the accelerator, making the motorcycle growl. 
You told him your destination. 
“Not too far. Two minutes if I go at 150.” he said, as if 150 kmph was slow for him. But he looked at you over his shoulder, “You okay going fast?” 
“I've never gone fast before.” 
He figured. "Wanna get a feel of it?"
"Sure, I've not nothing to lose... except my life, if you don't drive safely."
He chuckled, and it sounded oddly cute, unlike his gruff voice. "Just trust me, lass. I'm not gonna turn you into a news report."
"Well, you saved my life just there, I expect you to preserve it." You said with a chuckle. It felt strange that you already seemed comfortable enough with him to joke around.
"Nothing to worry about," he assured as he turned forward and revved the engines again. “You'll fly off, so hold on to me tight.” He said with emphasis. 
“Gotcha.”
He got the wheels running, and started slow. The breeze kissed your face and your hair, and in the cool night, it felt freeing. He twisted the accelerator, going a notch faster. The breeze blew against you like a blow dryer, and you squinted your eyes slightly in order to see the quickly passing landscape of buildings, 24 hour convenience stores, and lighted street lamps. 
He gradually increased the speed so you would not freak out, an oddly considerate thing he did for a complete stranger, something he would not usually ever do. 
As the dial of the speedometer passed the 80s and crossed to the 100s, the breeze, now a gust, started to mercilessly slap your face, not allowing you to open your watering eyes. By this time, you had your arms around his waist and your face stuffed in and hidden behind his large back, holding on to him for dear life, while the smell of his perfume consoled your fears. 
He rode on, completely unfazed by this speed, but a little stiff at the fact that a person, a woman, particularly, was holding on to him. It was out of necessity, of course, yet he couldn't help but feel a little strange about it.
As predicted, in two minutes, he reached your destination, which was thankfully a busy area with people still bustling around the open shops like it was daytime. He halted to a stop where you asked, and you took hold of his shoulder again as you mounted off the high pillion seat.
“Thanks a lot, Simon,” You smiled at him. You took notice of the logo on his helmet that carried the Italian flag in a semi-circle; it seemed to stand out over the glossy black shell of the headgear.
He pushed up his dark visor, and the flag was obscured. He nodded in response as his eyes studied your face, taking in the contours of your features all in a brief moment. "How did the speed feel?" he asked.
"Exhilarating," You replied, feeling your heart thumping wildly.
"In a good way?"
"I guess. It was kind of scary, but I liked it."
He nodded, and in his eyes, you could see that he looked a little pleased by your answer.
“I know it's not much but…” You paused, putting your hand in the pocket of your jacket, causing the contents to ruffle against each other. You pulled out a small, hard red candy wrapped in clear plastic and handed it to him. “... This is a little something for you for helping me out.” 
He stared at the little candy on the palm of your hand, almost ready to refuse it out of modesty. But it was just a little candy. Who could it hurt? His fair hand reached out and took the candy, and both of you noted how tiny the sweet treat looked on his palm. He could crush it with his bare hands if he wanted to. Yet, he held it gently and stashed it in the pocket of his leather jacket, murmuring a word of gratitude that was barely audible under the two layers of his balaclava and his helmet. 
“Well, you take care. And don't hang around in sketchy places like that next time,” he said, as if you were his friend of many years. 
You were warmed by his concern for you, and you smiled, nodding. “After that, I don't think I'll hang around there at this time anymore. I'm sure as hell gonna stay over at my friend's place if I'm there till late.” 
“Excellent choice,” he remarked. “I'll be off now.” 
“Take care.” You smiled at him again, and his eye lingered on you a moment longer before he turned his head away. 
He silently revved the engine of his vehicle again and sped off. You stood by the side of the road, watching his figure recede as the distance grew. 
A sense of longing washed over you for this stranger named Simon, and you wondered if you would ever see him again. It was a strange coincidence that you unknowingly guessed his name so correctly, like unknowingly marking the right choice in a multiple choice exam. 
It all came back to you now. The feeling of his rugged shoulder and back under the smooth leather of his jacket; the coarse, gravelly growl of his British accented voice that felt like rubbing coffee powder between your fingers, rough yet pleasing; the scent of his perfume like that of a dark, wet, rainforest; and his eyes… oh, his dark eyes were brooding and mysterious. Under the shade of his helmet, they seemed like swirling little black holes, the gravity around them dense enough to draw you in like a helpless star. 
A shiver passed down your spine as you thought of him, making your cheeks flush with warmth as a distant look reflected in your pining eyes. 
You started your walk back home, thoughts filled to the brim, flooding like a tidal wave with this biker. You were left knowing nothing about him, except for his name:
Simon.
End.
Part 2
Comment if you want to be added to my taglist :)
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notroosterbradshaw · 1 year
Note
Oh thank you for the compliment :) i'm sure you could do it justice but maybe we could get some generic hangman fluff maybe with them at the beach and he looks out for her by putting sunblock on her and making sure she's eats lunch and stays hydrated and he's teasing her and being very playful with her? Thanks

Okie doke, you get your Hangman on the beach, nonny. I hope you enjoy! Hangman fluff awaits. Dagger Squad future fic.
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You liked this new tradition you were able to share with Jake. Each year, around the same time depending on deployments, family commitments, you know the normal life stuff, Dagger Squad came from far and wide to try and get back to the beach for their annual defensive football game and bonfire. Mid-afternoon, the egos start running their mouths about which team will win, and what the stakes are (and the winners and partners always enjoyed the 200 push-ups for the losers and Fanboy's sigh at wishing he never mentioned it).
"Right here, baby?" Jake asked quietly, saying a quiet hello to Bob's partner and burgeoning baby belly and Penny. His warm palm skimming the skin between your ripped jeans shorts and his old Foreigner tee you'd knotted in the back to make work. He nuzzled your neck as he dropped the cooler and whipped off his shirt. He hadn't buttoned it so what difference did it mean as he slid out of his flip flops and put all his gear into a pile and into the beach bag.
Some regiments he just couldn't shake, and neatness was one of them. So was the gym. You would love him endlessly anyway, but he was proud of his body and worked hard on maintaining it as he got older. You were proud he was proud he took such good care of himself and you reaped the benefits.
Ha gave you some space as he unfolded the blanket and flicked it out onto the warm sand as Harvard and Yale approached him and within seconds, they were talking about recent deployments, new kit, and manoeuvres. You were as supportive as you could be with things you'd rather be kept in the dark over. Jake respected that. He knew what he did terrifed you but the boys just understood it better than you ever could. You were absolutely not offended.
You tossed some bits and pieces on the blanket, camera, snacks, and sunscreen. "Ooh," Jake smirked, popping to pick up the sunscreen. "May I?" he asked eagerly.
"May I?" you repeated, biting back your grin. "Aren't you proper today?"
"I would hate for you to be burnt. It's a skin trauma, baby," he protested as you took your sunnies off and glared at him. "And I wanna feel you up. Sue me," he shrugged, his true personality shining through.
"Well, aren't you sweet?" you roughly patted his cheek and the masochist in him loved the lack of caress in your touch. He adjusted his jaw appreciatively. "Okay, Jake. Just to avoid the trauma."
"Your skin is your biggest organ," he reminded you, watching you lift the shirt over your shoulders, licking his lips at the additional skin you'd been keeping under wraps. "Not mine..." he muttered cheekily.
"Jake, knock it off," you laughed as he grinned wide, turning you away from him. You wouldn't complain about the extra touch and affection that lasted a good five minutes, you we melting under his light touch. He kissed the nape of your neck in finality. "I'm good?" you asked quietly.
"You're very, very good," he growled playfully swatting your butt.
You gave him space and sat on the beach blanket, sunnies back on, and Jake plopped your hat on your head. "Thank you."
"Here ya go, sweetheart," Jake handed you your water bottle. "Gettin' hot out here," he grinned. He thrived in hot weather. You smiled against his lips as he laid a gentle kiss on you. "You wanna play?" he could hear the catcalling and jeering for Jake to toss the ball around.
"Would rather put knitting needles in my eyes. Only here to watch the bodies," you joked... kind of.
"You just mean mine, right?" he asked, a mix of unsurity and arrogance as you laughed.
"Yes, Jake. Only yours. Go have fun," you reassured him, taking a seat and a cool slug from your water bottle as he stood over you and squatted to give you another sweet kiss.
"I'm glad you're here, sweetheart. I'm happy as this group gets bigger that you're here with me and you get to meet the people I trust more than my own family."
You cupped his jaw. "They are your family. They are our family, baby. You big softie."
Warm in the sun, but you noticed his ears flush and duck his eyes. "Don't tell anyone or my reputation will be shattered," he teased as you both laughed loudly, and his heart swelled to bring that smile to your beautiful face. "Gimme some lovin' before I go and kick these preppy asses," he smiled against your lips and kissed you deeply. "Another," he demanded. "You're so sweet, I can't handle it," his nose nuzzled against yours.
You knew his friends were mocking him behind his back but you were very confident he didn't change his behaviour around his friends and was comfortable enough to lay some love on you and you were very aware of Penny's stare... and jaw-dropping.
"Jake, Jesus!" you hear Coyote holler.
"Your bestie is pissed," you told Jake as he looked back over his shoulder and gave the team a selective one-finger salute. "Go, before they think it's me keeping you here. And not your that's horribly whipped."
"I'm whipped," he admitted and stretched, this incredible body flexing in all the right places, the golden sun making the beads of sweat his flawless skin glisten. Jesus, he was just so sexy. "I freely admit it."
"Go," you scooted him as his persona changed and Hangman arrived.
"All right, all right, all right, who is ready for some football?" he boomed, drifting over to his friends. It got rough and competitive, sweaty and slippery pretty quickly and you got closer a while later to take some polaroids as the sun set for shits and giggles later tonight to hand out. You had a pleasant afternoon as more friends and family joined you and kept you busy.
As the game was called and losers paid their penance in the form of push-ups, you watched Jake and Rooster put together the bonfire, the part you were most excited for. Yes, Jake Seresin was hotter, if possible, in most light, but the way the flames flickered over his face as you chatted with Natasha and he kept his arm around your shoulder, under the pretence of keeping you warmed before the roaring fire.
"You hungry, babydoll?" he murmured in your ear, the barbecue well and truly cranked and the smells driving your tummy into overdrive. "Beer?"
"Yes to both, please?" you asked and he nodded, kissing you tenderly before leaving you with Natasha. She shook her head in disbelief.
"Who is that guy and what did he do with Bagman?" she asked, astonished. You grinned. "That is a man in love."
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oneatlatime · 4 months
Text
Lake Laogai
This Lake had better have Appa in it. With little water wings on.
Skipping the commentary as usual.
The Previously On section suggests that a whole lot of plot threads are about to crash into each other. Strap in folks.
Lefty Sokka!
Beat up Sokka quota fulfilled by his sister's critique of his art skills. It's not like he had paper to practice with at the South Pole.
Sometimes I forget that Aang is 12, then he does something like attempt to rescue his pet from a nefarious city-wide conspiracy of silence with lost cat posters.
"Good tea is its own reward." That means no, he isn't paid enough.
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Remember what I said in my last post about Iroh bringing too much attention to himself?
"senior executive assistant manager" someone on the writing team has worked retail I see. Nothing like meaningless promotions with no raise attached! It's right up there with employee pizza party.
I have to pause here and point something out. This whole scene with Iroh? This is an adult fantasy. I don't mean dirty, I mean this whole scene was put in specifically to appeal to the adults who got roped in to watching this kids' show by their children. A rich man walks through the door of your shitty retail job, immediately spots your natural greatness, and offers you a much better paying job with unlimited creative freedom and a better house to go with it? Find me a burnt out retail worker who hasn't conjured up this fantasy five times a shift.
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And so the plots come crashing back together. This won't end badly.
"patience really pays off" I checked. He waited literally three seconds.
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Shout out to Toph in the background playing catch with a ball she can't see. Casual flex of epic proportions.
Remind me never to go to Lake Laogai. Sounds like it's lousy with Ju Dees.
So the Ju Dees don't know about each other? Because she seems honestly confused. Does Ju Dee think she's the only Ju Dee? What happens if two Ju Dees run into each other in the street?
Posters are illegal but I haven't heard a peep about recarving a bunch of fields into a zoo.
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This is maybe the second time Aang's blown up over Appa. Frankly he deserves more blow ups about the whole situation.
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I don't think knocking down walls will help find Appa, but I applaud Toph's spirit.
They took out a whole wall and then exit by the door anyways. That's funny.
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I really hate this guy, but I have to admit that he may be the first truly competent villain of the series.
'The Jasmine Dragon' also lets anyone with half a brain know that you're Fire Nation. Try the Jasmine Badgermole instead.
Zuko really can't catch a break, huh? He wasn't happy being a tea server, but at least he was resting. But every time he gets five minutes to himself, the main plot reappears to drag him back into the action, whether he wants to or not. Although he hasn't figured out that he doesn't want to be dragged back yet.
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Every line of dialogue in this scene is a good point. Zuko's right, Iroh's right. The Zuko's right again, then Iroh's right again.
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YES YES YES GET HIS ASS
That was satisfying!
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I'm not understanding why Sokka is the voice of reason here. Is he incapable of holding a grudge? He's the one that had all the animosity with Jet to begin with. Shouldn't it be Aang who wants to hear him out?
Toph is a living lie detector now? I can't think of an example off the top of my head, but I'm sure that could have come in handy previously. Any other incredibly useful skills we should know about?
Jet is oddly defensive for someone who claims to know he did wrong.
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Ever get so excited that your spine malfunctions?
Sokka just has a metre long map in his pocket. Good friend to have in a pinch.
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Avatar first! Katara is rude to an old person!
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I'm going to have fun with Toph's new ability.
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Toph, you have never been more right. It is the worst city ever. You are really shining this episode.
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I know this is a serious scene, but I need to point out that Jet's guyliner is on point.
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This shot is jarringly out of place. I think it's because it both black and white, and live action. Those have to be real clouds.
So the Blue Spirit can talk after all. Careful, your Zuko is showing.
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Wow Zuko is good at sewing. And fast too.
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Sokka is having far too much fun with this whole 'prompt Jet's memory' thing. Maybe he does have a bit of a grudge after all.
Katara can reverse brainwashing now too? Everyone's levelling up this episode.
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This scene with the planks is a very cool and disorienting visual.
Didn't have 'the gaang breaks into a brainwashing facility' on my ATLA bingo card.
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Pretty.
OMIGOD IT'S AP- did Zuko just break the fourth wall?
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Everyone always forgets to look up.
So this fight is going to be Toph v. all of the Dai Li while everyone else tries not to get in Toph's way.
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That's a boat.
Toph could probably take all these guys out faster if she wasn't having to constantly break off to save everyone else from them.
The Dai Li prancing up walls is a really cool visual. It's very Ty Lee of them.
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I love watching her work.
Why don't you let Long Feng escape? He's no longer threatening you, and you're down there to rescue Appa. Just let him go.
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The security on Lake Laogai is a joke.
Big words from someone who also had no plan whatsoever at the North Pole.
Zuko knows that Iroh's right. He knows, and that's important. I don't think Iroh is saying anything that Zuko hasn't thought and then hurriedly pretended to have never thought about before. It's why he says 'stop it' rather than being completely confused as to what Iroh is referring to.
Poor Appa's like 'can you have a crisis of self after you free me please?'
'You've chosen your own demise." No. You chose it for him. That's some top tier deflection/victim blaming right there.
Longshot can talk!
That's one hell of a set up and pay off re: Toph's lie detecting abilities.
Poor Jet. A double tragedy: to be likeable only when you're brainwashed, and to dedicate your life to wiping out the Fire Nation yet being killed by the Earth Kingdom.
Hi Appa. It's about time buddy.
Shockingly in character for Appa's first actions to be to single handedly save the Gaang from a threat.
You skip that bastard like a stone.
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Everyone go and listen to the sound Appa makes when he spits out Long Feng's shoe. It's delightful.
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I am framing this.
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And this too.
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I can tell there's some shmymbolism here, but it's gone right over my head.
Final Thoughts
Appa is back. The Gaang has Appa back. I have Appa back. Ok. I can relax now. With any luck, this means we can leave Ba Sing Se.
This episode felt like City of Walls and Secrets, Part 2. I think it was a good decision to have a couple of episodes between the two, but I think there would be some tonal whiplash if you binged this section of season 2. Which wouldn't have been a problem for a show designed to air once a week, so it's a moot point.
So Zuko freed Appa from his chains, and presumably pointed him in the direction of a door or something. Or maybe not; Appa has a ridiculously hard head, he could have busted his way out. Either way, Zuko broke the chains. Thanks Zuko!
In season 1, Zuko finds the Avatar the world had lost. In season 2, Zuko finds the Sky Bison the Avatar had lost. So in season 3, Zuko will find something Appa has lost. I wonder what that will be?
Jet being killed by the Earth Kingdom is so deliciously ironic, and tragic, yet very in character for the Earth Kingdom's approach to this war. It's also literally this:
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Smellerbee and Longshot have really gotten the short end of the stick over and over this season. They were the only ones to decide to stick with Jet. Presumably they were the only ones who believed that he had had a legitimate change of heart. And they were kind of wrong. They get to Ba Sing Se only for Jet to immediately backslide way past even where he was at his worst in Season 1. He completely discounts and dismisses their legitimate concerns for his methods and his overall health. Then Jet gets arrested and disappears for two (?) weeks. So what do they do now? Get jobs? Steal so they don't starve? Then suddenly Jet's back but he doesn't even remember them. Then suddenly Jet's dead. The whole point of coming to Ba Sing Se just died, in a way that shows very clearly that their desire to help with the war is not welcome at all in the city. So what now? Do they leave and try to fight in the war from outside the walls? Do they settle down and try to forget about the war? Things did spiral completely out of Jet's control once the Dai Li got involved, but you have to admit that he's left his only remaining friends up a creek.
Sokka had some good jokes but was oddly ok with this episode's events. Toph had some great lines and got to shine with a new skill that any writer with half a brain will bring back in future episodes. She felt like the audience substitute this episode, which is usually Sokka's role. Toph was episode MVP for sure. Poor Aang took a bit of a back seat this episode. Zuko finally hit the crisis point, and may well have made his first indisputably correct decision of the series. But, as previous episodes have gone out of their way to show me that Zuko being good always goes badly for Zuko, I'm sure freeing Appa will somehow come back to bite him.
Iroh's question of "who are you? And what do you want?" was Zuko's entire character arc this season. He took a shot at answering the "who are you?" portion in Zuko Alone, and sort of halfway got there before messing up at the end of the episode. As for the "what do you want?" Zuko will tell you (often and repeatedly) that he wants his honour back. But I think he just wants to go home. The thing is, I strongly suspect that the home Zuko wants to return to hasn't existed since his mother left, if it ever existed at all. Which means that while "who are you?" has an answer Zuko can work towards, "what do you want?" has an answer that is kind of impossible. So Zuko is going to have to learn to want something new.
RIP Jet. Your life was fucked to Hell long before you were old enough to try and salvage it. You'll probably be missed by more people than you strictly deserve. War sucks, amirite?
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Text
Good Omens incorrect quotes:
Aziraphale: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Crowley, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
~
Aziraphale: Violence isn't the answer.
Crowley: You’re right.
Aziraphale: *sighs in relief*
Crowley: Violence is the question.
Aziraphale: What?
Crowley, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Aziraphale, running after them: NO-
~
Aziraphale: Do you take constructive criticism?
Crowley: I only take cash or credit.
~
Aziraphale: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Crowley: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
~
Aziraphale: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Crowley: What did you do?
Aziraphale: Nobody died.
Crowley: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
~
Aziraphale: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Crowley: Killed without hesitation.
Aziraphale: No.
~
*how season 3 should start*
Aziraphale: Top 30 reasons why Aziraphale is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!
Crowley: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!
~
Crowley: You're right.
Aziraphale: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
~
Beelzebub: I’m going to take you out
Gabriel: great, it’s a date!
Beelzebub: I meant that as a threat.
Gabriel: See you at five!
~
Crowley: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Gabriel: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.
~
Beelzebub: I made tea.
Crowley: I don’t want tea.
Beelzebub: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Crowley: Then why are you telling me?
Beelzebub: It is a conversation starter.
Crowley: That’s a lousy conversation starter.
Beelzebub: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
~
Aziraphale: This is bothering me.
Crowley: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Aziraphale: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.
~
Aziraphale: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Gabriel, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Aziraphale:
Aziraphale: fsh
~
Crowley: God, give me patience.
Gabriel: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Crowley: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
~
Aziraphale: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Crowley: That's why I carry two swords.
~
Gabriel: So what’s for dinner?
Beelzebub, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.
~
Muriel: Why are you on the floor?
Crowley: I'm depressed.
Crowley: Also I was stabbed, can you get Aziraphale, please.
~
Store Worker: Would a Mr. Fell please come to the front desk?
Aziraphale, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Crowley and Muriel
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Crowley and Muriel, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Aziraphale: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
~
Muriel: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Crowley: The cow???
Muriel: What?
Aziraphale: Crowley, W H Y?
~
Aziraphale: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Crowley?
Crowley: … No.
Muriel: I do!
Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.
Muriel: I’m sad!
Aziraphale: I know, Muriel.
~
Muriel: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Crowley: The car takes a screenshot.
Aziraphale: For the last time, get the fuck out.
~
Crowley: Aziraphale and I don’t use pet names.
Nina: I see. Hey, what are those things with the halos called again??
Crowley: Angel?
Aziraphale: Yes, dear?
Crowley:
Nina: Don't ever lie to my face again.
~
Muriel: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Crowley: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Aziraphale isn’t
~
Aziraphale: We need a distraction.
Crowley: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Muriel, whispering: My time has come
~
Aziraphale: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Muriel: Okay, but in my defense, Mr. Crowley bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Aziraphale: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!
~
Aziraphale: Crowley, keep an eye on Gabriel today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Crowley: Sure, I’d love to see Gabriel get punched.
Aziraphale: Try again.
Crowley, sighing: I will stop Gabriel from getting punched.
~
Maggie: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Crowley: I'm a knife.
Aziraphale, from across the room: They're the little spoon.
~
Aziraphale, driving Crowley and Muriel: So how was your day?
Muriel: We almost got surprise adopted!
Aziraphale: What?
Crowley: We almost got kidnapped.
Aziraphale: Oh, okay.
Aziraphale: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?
~
Aziraphale: You have to apologize to Gabriel
Crowley: Fine.
Crowley: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.
~
Crowley: Hey angel,
Aziraphale: Yes?
Crowley: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Aziraphale:
Aziraphale: Where’s Gabriel?
~
Aziraphale: WHY. why did you give Muriel a KNIFE?!
Crowley: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.
Aziraphale: Now I feel unsafe!
Crowley: I’m sorry.
Crowley: ... would you like a knife?
~
Muriel: Hey, Mr. Crowley? Can I get some dating advice?
Crowley: Just because I’m with Aziraphale doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
~
Aziraphale: Crowley and I are having a baby.
Muriel: That's gre-
Aziraphale, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
~
Muriel: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Crowley: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Aziraphale: In that case, we're definitely lost
~
Muriel: What do you think Mr. Crowley will do for a distraction?
Aziraphale: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Aziraphale: ... or they could do that.
~
Aziraphale: I trust Crowley.
Muriel: You think they know what they're doing?
Aziraphale: I wouldn't go that far.
~
Aziraphale: While I’m gone, Muriel, you’re in charge.
Muriel: Yes!!!
Aziraphale, whispering: Crowley, you’re secretly in charge.
Crowley: Obviously.
~
Aziraphale: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?
Crowley: *turning to Gabriel* How tall are you?
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bugs1nmybrain · 8 months
Note
shigaraki fucking you in front of some of the LOV members (im about to climax)
This is SO funny because I've thought of this prompt so many times. I've been scared that it would be out of pocket but I consider Shigaraki my safe place to get crazy with my nsfw work. If I'm honest the only LoV member I'm down to write watching Shiggy and the reader fucking is Dabi, because Spinner and Twice don't seem like the type to get much into that. I hope you Dabi bitches like this.
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Minors do NOT interact!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Warnings: NSFW, fem-reader, exhibitionism, voyeurism, Dabi doesn't even touch the reader but he watches Shigaraki fuck you silly, rough sex, blowjob, overstimulation, dub-con, humiliation, reader is shy and doesn't talk much, masturbation (Dabi), possessive Shiggy, blue-haired Shigaraki (season 3ish era), Shigaraki and Dabi call the reader a slut/whore, not proofread (I also wrote this while listening to nsfw Shigaraki audios so it could be jumbled), Dabi flirts with reader, reader has long enough hair for a ponytail, Shigaraki calls reader babygirl, praise kink, slight aftercare, unprotected sex
"I can't believe you pulled one, Shigaraki. Not your disgusting ass."
"What? Jealous?" Shigaraki cackles.
"Yea okay. I'm just saying you're ugly as fuck and an incel at best. How you managed to get a girlfriend is beyond me."
~
You've been hanging around the league for a couple of months, via your relationship with Shigaraki. Honestly, you didn't even talk to them much. You were just there to keep Tomura company. Shigaraki, in his own twisted way, surely loved you. However, you felt as if he was making you his trophy at times.
Shigaraki never had a girlfriend until you. He hadn't even had sex. Sure, he watched a criminal amount of porn and somehow managed to get a few blowjobs from sex workers when he conned Kurogiri into giving him money for "online gaming packages." Aside from that, he had no experience. Especially no romantic experience.
So, yeah. He felt a bit of pride when you came into his life. As much as what Dabi was saying was pissing him off, Shigaraki found himself asking the same questions. Look at him. Dry, itchy, chapped lips, bony, a brat, and above all else, his quirk. But you chose him, and you were so beautiful that he had a hard time not popping a boner around you frequently. You were just so cute, how could he control it?
"You act like you're any better. Burnt flesh? Staples? Who'd want to fuck you?"
"At least I'm not annoying. Or pathetic."
That got Shigaraki, you could tell. You could see the rage in his eyes and you saw a fist forming. Shigaraki has gotten to a point where he wouldn't threaten life against his comrades, but that didn't mean he wouldn't beat their ass if they gave him lip. It's happened before. You reach out and grasp his wrist, gesturing him to calm down.
Shigaraki turns his face at you with a scowl. You give him a look that screams, "chill the fuck out." He digresses, slumping behind on the couch with a pout.
"I bet he's awful in bed, huh?" Dabi scoffs at you. If Shigaraki wasn't pissed before he sure was now. He doesn't get physical, though, just mouthy.
"Listen, patchwork. You better mind your business before I piss in your cheerios tomorrow morning!"
"All I'm saying is that a good-looking chick like her deserves to be with someone more competent. You seem like the type to get in and go haywire. I bet, I know, you have no technique. You're an incel."
"You're a broken record. Who are you to assume anything? Also, you better lay the fuck off! If you try anything with her I'll kick your ass out with no hesitation!"
"No need to get defensive. You wouldn't be getting so pissed if I was wrong, would you?"
If you're honest, if Dabi had brought this up a couple of months ago, he'd be right. Shigaraki had no clue how to fuck a woman when you first had sex. He knew where your clit was but didn't know how to use his fingers meticulously. When he penetrated you, like Dabi said, he let loose and just used you like a pocket pussy. Surprisingly enough, Tomura took your constructive criticism well. He was bratty and defensive but ultimately he did want to make you cum, quake, whimper, and scream for him. So he learned and he learned well.
"I'll have you know I made her cum a total of eleven times this week!"
"You count?"
This was awkward, them talking like you weren't even there.
Tomura growls in frustration. It was apparent that he wanted to take out his frustrations and he begins itching his neck.
"You better watch your fucking mouth. I don't need some rude dickhead like you judging my sex li-.."
Shigaraki stops talking, and the anger he is expressing turns into a sinister smirk on his face. Like he snapped in the complete opposite mood. Shigaraki leans against your side and slips an arm around your waist, pulling you to become smothered in his embrace.
His lips hover beside your ear and his raspy voice slips a seductive comment out, "would you say I'm bad at fucking you, Y/N?"
Your heart paces unexpectedly. Tomura always got you with those sly murmurs in your ear. Some people would consider his voice annoying, maybe cringy, but to you it was hot.
"Um...no.." you blush and your form closes in on itself. You couldn't help but feel very shy in this scenario.
"Right, don't I know how to make my babygirl feel good?"
Dabi cocks an eyebrow in curiosity, picking up on your timid demeanor. You can feel a quick pool of arousal forming in your panties, completely proving him wrong.
"Is that true? How good is he?"
You couldn't manage to really say much. This was a confusing situation. You felt a tad objectified. As they sat here and talked about if Shigaraki made you cum or feel good you felt in limbo. Yea, he did, but why was it Dabi's business?
"I mean.."
"We could show him, couldn't we?" Shigaraki begins stroking your hair affectionately, doing all the things he knows to make you melt. Dabi perks up, certainly intrigued by Shiggy's proposition.
"I don't know, Tomura.."
"Shhh it's okay. I'll treat you good, just let him watch. Let me show him how pretty you are, yea?"
Your face was flushed and your eye contact glued to your thighs, to which Shiggy began stroking the insides. He firmly seperates your right thigh to the side, leaving your pussy on display (which was covered by your panties, of course). You were wearing the prettiest black skirt and tank top, which showed off your beautiful cleavage. Tomura actually had some complaints about it, not wanting anyone but him to see how pretty you are. This situation you were in certainly contradicted that.
With your panties on display, Dabi could see the wet spot formed in between your thighs.
"Heh..she's already wet.."
"Really?" Shigaraki hadn't even noticed, being sitting beside you. He reaches his fingers down to glaze your panties, looking for the evidence. Surely enough, you were wet. "Heh.."
Shiggy runs his middle finger up and down your pussy over your panties, making sure to rub your clit upwards when he reached it. You whimper uncontrollably. He hardly did anything to you yet, but being in front of Dabi with Shigaraki showing you off like this? Your body was having instinctual responses you couldn't help.
Shigaraki begins circling your clit before crumbling away your panties, giving him full access to your heat, and displaying it to Dabi. You tense up, nervous and feeling exposed. He continues stimulating you, whispering sweet, empty nothings in your ear, "relax.."
Tomura pleasures your clit perfectly, not missing a beat in his attack on it. You begin moaning at the pleasure, which sends a shock of arousal to Dabi's cock.
"You wanna show him how much you love my cock?"
Your eyes shot wide open and without much warning Shigaraki pulls your tanktop below your tits, exposing both of your intimate areas. Your pussy grows more wet, and your clit twitches in excitement. Dabi notices how flushed your pussy is and continues to watch smugly, "Damn, I'm a little jealous, boss."
"You should be. She's gorgeous, right? Don't get any bright ideas, though. This is a privilege for you."
Shigaraki stands up and unzips his pants before encouraging you to kneel in front of him. You comply, getting on your knees and taking responsibility yourself. You grope his cock from the outside of his pants before pulling them down, revealing his cock.
"You've got a short dick," Dabi slys.
Shigaraki turns and shouts at him, "You have a real hard time with shutting the fuck up don't you?"
You turn your head the other way and chuckle a little. Their banter was funny, if you were honest.
"Hey chuckles..how about you use that pretty little mouth the right way?" Shiggy tilts your face towards his cock and presses it against your lips. Dabi wasn't wrong. Shigaraki didn't have the biggest dick. Maybe a little under 5 inches, but he had a decent girth that more than made up for it. You loved him just as he was, though. It wasn't a bother that he was a bit small.
You open wide and Tomura pushes his dick to the back of your throat slowly. You gag immediately, eliciting a laugh from him.
"What did you say, Dabi? Short dick?"
"That doesn't count, you know it."
Shigaraki scowls and grunts, but you distract him by wrapping your fingers around his base and dragging your mouth along his dick. You bob your head beautifully and pull up to lick around his tip. Shiggy groans with his raspy tone and forms your hair into a ponytail while you suck his cock.
You were able to catch a glance at Dabi and you saw him sitting there with his cock out, fumbling with his glans while he watched you suck Tomura's cock. You yelp on Shigaraki's cock, to which he thrusts in deeper.
"Mmm...you adore my cock, don't you?"
Yes, you did. It was hard to feel totally into this, though. While being watched and objectified. You knew that Shigaraki loved you, but he was clearly using his love for you to his advantage. He knew that because his love was somewhat sincere he could win you over to do pretty much anything. You never said no, though.
"Stop."
You look up, confused.
"It's your turn, Y/N. Up."
We were going all the way then, huh? You supposed it couldn't be helped and you stood up. Shigaraki pulled you into a sloppy kiss, while he glanced at Dabi with a competitive spirit on his face. Shigaraki turned you around and rested his hand on your back (but making sure to avoid a finger for obvious reasons). He pushes you down and presses his cock against your ass and you felt utterly exposed and vulnerable. You refused to look at Dabi, but you felt his burning gaze on you regardless.
Shigaraki ran his cock up and down your folds, teasing his cockhead along your clit. You whine in pleasure and embarrassment. Shigaraki coos at you, "shhh..."
He probably knows you're embarrassed, but he can't get enough of one-upping Dabi like this. He slowly guides his cock inside of you, savoring the warmth of your wet pussy. You moan in response and quickly enough, Shigaraki begins plunging his cock in and out of you at a musical rhythm.
"You're so pretty, Y/N. Such a good girl, taking my cock in front of him like this. Maybe I'll buy you that cute pink headset you've been wanting as a reward," Tomura chuckles.
"Good girl? Try slut. Out on display like a little whore," Dabi comments.
"Fuck off. She's only my slut. An obedient one, at that. Isn't that right, babygirl?"
"Mhm~!" There we go. That praise from Tomura was just what you needed to get you nice and comfortable. He knew it too, he wasn't stupid. He takes one of your hands and holds it backwards while he fucks you fast. Your tits dangle and bounce in front of Dabi and your pussy is dripping in arousal, running down your legs and dripping on the floor.
"Aah! Tomura!"
"That's it. You're going so well. Doesn't she look so sexy?"
"Mhm...can I have sloppy seconds when you're done?"
"Go fuck yourself. You wish."
At least Tomura had enough decency to know that you wouldn't like that at all. You only wanted him. Though, he may have only said that out of his own possessive nature, not for your comfort.
You continue to pant and cry out in embarrassment and arousal. Shiggy keeps smacking his hips against your ass and filling you with his cock. His dick certainly wasn't too short, as he rubbed up against your g-spot nicely, and he angled it the exact way you liked it.
Some sick part of you was beginning to feel a creeping orgasm approaching. Typically, you needed clit stimulation to cum, but the way Tomura was fucking you and how exposed you were was causing a newfound pleasure you hadn't experienced before. Your breath becomes heavy and you begin speaking gibberish.
"Tomura..Mm! I-, I'm, I'm gonna-"
"That's it..cum all over my cock. Show him how good I fuck you!"
Dabi strokes his pierced cock fastly and clenches his teeth, amused at your submission to Shigaraki. He fucks you even rougher and hits your G-spot in repeated rhythms. Your clit begins to spasm as you feel an internal wave of overwhelming pleasure surge throughout your whole body. You cum heavy on Tomura's cock, and the twitching walls of your pussy almost send him to a high as well, but he fights back for a bit.
Shigaraki fucks you silly even after your orgasm. Your sensitive cunt trembles as his cock continues it's assault. The sensations are overwhelming and almost hurt.
"Tomura..it's too much.."
"Just a little longer, baby. I gotta get my serving, too."
Your pussy keeps being pounded by Shigaraki as he has no restraint now that he's made you cum. Still, he hits your spot perfectly. His thrusts are desperate and yearning. He eyes Dabi with a cocky grin, "Told you. I told you I fuck her good. You oughta think before running your mouth."
"Mmff..you may be right. My apologies.."Dabi chuckles with a heavy sigh. As Shigaraki keeps fucking you unapologetically, Dabi cums all over himself watching you as you're being used as a trophy for Shigaraki to show off. It's not long after before Shigaraki also releases his load deep in your pussy with a heavy growl. He grips your hips as he holds you down on his cock, not missing a drop of his cum.
Your body is shaking from the intensity and you fall to your knees. Shigaraki bends down to pull you in his lap and strokes your hair.
"You did a good job..."
You had no words and could only bury your face into Shigaraki's neck for comfort. Tomura looks at Dabi with a look of victory on his face.
"Who's awful in bed, again?"
"Hey, I accept defeat. I guess you aren't as pathetic as I thought, boss." Dabi puts his cock back in his pants. "You got yourself a pretty one, you better treat her good."
"I plan on it."
Dabi gets up and goes to his room, closing the door. Tomura looks at you and messages your neck with as many fingers as he can.
"You're sticky. Come on, let's get in the shower."
"Okay.."
"Hey."
"Hm?"
"You know I love you, right? Even though I fucked you in front of that punk, you're my babygirl, and only mine."
"I know, Tomura. I love you too," you smile at him, feeling more content now that it's only you and him.
"Good. Let's get clean. You stink of cum."
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Text
Everlark (Mockingjay, Ch. 25-27)
peeta also being in the burn unit bc he was in the city circle
what i personally believe is that he's the one who tried to put out the fire that overwhelmed katniss, hence his own burnt hands and forehead
her using peeta's coping mechanism of pain to stay grounded in reality
when katniss talks about all the people she trusts being said, she highlights that there is peeta but he wouldn't know any more than her about 13's plans.
"we are both fire mutts now" - still a (broken) team
"those same blues" mentioned again
haymitch understanding katniss. the dad that stepped up. i love that he says "i'm with the mockingjay" instead of "yes"
katniss being our fave feral girl by literally biting into peeta's hand as he stops her from taking her nightlock
the fact that when she says "let me go", our baker boy with the beautiful words and the charm can only say "i can't"
just another instance where these can't let each other go. has anyone made a counter for these instances?
peeta is well and truly back. to do that. to know he can't let her go. that even when she bites him so hard he bleeds, he just looks into her eyes and lets her know he can't let her die
the fact that after the way katniss was used in the games and then in the rebellion, afterwards when she's damaged and broken and bruised and they have no more use for her, she's just sent off to 12
"there's no obstacle now to taking my life. but i seem to be waiting for something" - the same way peeta kept his hand open with the nightlock pill waiting for katniss to curl over his hand for him, katniss waits for peeta's permission to die
i love that she doesn't even mention peeta by name when she sees he's returned. we just know instinctively that he's the "him" that's back.
peeta says dr aurelius wouldn't let him leave the capitol til the day before which makes me think peeta had really been trying to be discharged to get back to katniss.
"his eyes have lost that clouded, tortured look"
katniss who understandably has fallen into physical disrepair over the last two chapters now feels "defensive" as peeta looks at her, frowning, and tries to push her hair out of her eyes somewhat. her relationship is SO different to the one she has with everyone else. and that's because it's really the only one where she's concerned with romance and her looks etc
peeta digging up and bringing her primrose. the boy with the bread is still here bringing gifts that can't have a price put on them. he is the sweetest most beautiful fictional boy
katniss is relieved that gale is in 2, far away. that era of her life is over, that friendship is over.
although she's still confusing right to end. why are you thinking about gale's lips kissing other lips. i think it's just like her finding closure but still.
katniss falling asleep on the sofa but waking up in her bed. we can guess who got her there
it's only after peeta comes back that katniss starts to hunt, find closure, grieve with others.
peeta bringing her a warm loaf of bread again.
them taking the family plant book and creating a new book to honour and remember the dead. her, peeta and haymitch creating their own makeshift family book. so tragic so beautiful
"peeta and i grow back together" - like it was inevitable.
But his arms are there to comfort me. And eventually his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that. So after, when he whispers, “You love me. Real or not real?” I tell him, “Real.”
i love how simple and matter of fact this whole passage is. she doesn't need to go into flowery descriptions or explanations. she's already done that for three books.
i just love this whole passage so much. so much hope. so much love. after all that's happened, katniss learns to live again, to hope again, to love again, to see goodness again. and peeta is a key to her achieving that. and it's so beautiful
as an adult, i now know that this scene is alluding to their first time having sex. the mentions of his arms that build to his lips that build to her hunger from the beach that night. "so after" is after that night, that moment in their relationship where things become elevated in a new way.
him whispering that is not him asking her to declare it or say it. he's asking her to confirm what he feels, has felt. that she loves him. and she knows now her answer forever. real.
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