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#incorrect percy jackson
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nico: *hangs a warning near a forest*
warning: no trespassing. we're tired of hiding the bodies.
ghost bianca: hold up- we?
thalia: *appears out of nowhere* yes, bianca, we.
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sunpirate · a day ago
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Lester: As some of you may know, I took a bit of a sabbatical last year.
Meg: Do you mean when you shacked up with a slutty hairdresser but then she dumped you?
Dionysus: Child, please
Dionysus: Raise your hand if you want to ask a question
Meg: *raises hand*
Lester: Okay, I think we should all just move on
Dionysus: The hairdresser certainly did
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confusedfroglover · 21 hours ago
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will: knock knock
nico: who's there?
will: where when
nico: where when who?
will: my place, tomorrow, me and you ;)
nico:...
nico: you smooth little fucker
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dorimei · 4 months ago
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do you ever think about how all of percy’s demigod cousins absolutely do not exist on paper other than thalia and jason? like. hazel and nico are from the past, thalia was a tree, and jason was raised by wolves. that’s not even counting the fact that percy was wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism. how do they go anywhere. 
but imagine if they got arrested 
it would probably go somewhat like this 
officer: so you actually don't have any paperwork so i'm just wondering if i can get in contact with one of your parents? 
nico: literally fuck off 
officer: it says here that you were wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism, and then you were released from those charges, could you tell me how you got released from them? 
percy: yes i murdered the judge 
officer: you what 
officer: so we took your prints and they match perfectly to one of the missing children that beryl grace had 
thalia: i burnt off my fingerprints please tell me how you got my prints 
officer: no you didn't i have your prints right here 
thalia: those aren't my fingerprints 
officer: what
the fucking cops finding out that two of the people they have in custody don't exist, two of them are missing children of a dead movie star, and one of them was wanted for murder and terrorism and was a nationwide criminal
the dude would really go to his superior like “ok so we have 5 kids here… and the least confusing one was wanted for murder and terrorism but somehow got released from those charges…? anyways 2 don’t exist. we ran their prints, there is literally no evidence of them existing, no school papers, government ID, dental… absolutely nothing. the other 2 we think are the two missing children of a movie star, we have records for the girl as late as age 7 and the boy nothing past age 3….”
the dude interrogating them would get so tired so fast 
officer: is it possible that i could get in contact with one of your parents? 
percy: no 
officer, tired of questioning these kids: okay.
jason’s probably trying to do damage control and he is. failing to say the least
percy and hazel cussing out the cop: you motherfucker come back here so we can beat your fucking ass- 
jason: guys please. please stop. why.
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officer: I need an actual number if you want a lawyer  
nico: fuck off 
jason: nico please stop swearing at the cops 
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thalia: no you can’t prove those are mine, they could be fake 
jason: thalia, please stop trying to convince the cop that you don’t have fingerprints 
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jason: percy, percy please. please stop telling the cop about the judge you killed. you didn’t kill any judges 
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hazel: wanna know where you can shove your damn notepad? right up your a- 
jason: hazel you were suppose to help me not join them please hazel
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officer: what happened to your first stepfather? because it says here that he just disappeared-  
percy, popping bubblegum: i killed him 
officer: what 
percy: you heard me
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hades would send ms dodds to play lawyer again and then her and percy would really have an interaction like this
ms. dodds: i've murdered a judge before what's stopping me from killing this one 
percy: haha same 
ms. dodds: what 
nico: don't look at him. don't kill the judge, my dad doesn't want to deal with the paperwork
and that’s not even counting what they have to tell the gods 
zeus: sorry, you what? 
thalia: okay so basically, nico kept telling the officer to fuck off and he asked for a lawyer multiple times but when the officer called the number nico gave him it wasn't a lawyer, it was a line that conner and travis set up that goes, "haha i fucked your mom" and needless to say the cop did not like that. and then percy convinced the cop that to get out of the murder and terrorism charges he murdered a judge and honestly i'm not sure if he's telling the truth or not but the cop also did not like that. 
zeus, massaging his temples: okay. and what did you do? 
thalia: i convinced the cop that i had burnt my fingerprints off and we had a 30 minute argument about whether those prints on the paper were mine or not.
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sunpirate · 18 hours ago
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Some guy: Are you or are you NOT an enemy of the people?!
Lester:
Meg:
Lester: That’s such an open ended question, if you think about it
Meg: It really depends on the people
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simpingforpjo · 7 months ago
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Annabeth: In the name of the father, son, and holy ghost-
Thalia: Head, shoulders, knees, and toes-
Grover: Turn up your nose and strike that pose-
Percy: HEEEEEEY MACARENA
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biracialpercy · 5 months ago
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Annabeth: Percy, you'll be working with Jason and Nico
Percy: Alright! My fantasy threesome!
Everyone else: *blank stares*
Percy: ...Of people on a team.
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