jesper’s self-loathing kills me because not once in his life has he thought that he’s good enough. not once. he appears confident & charming in an attempt to hide how much he hates himself for being the way that he is. i love that in crooked kingdom, kaz learns to trust & respect him. i love that their relationship grows into something strong & beautiful. jesper’s relationship with his father absolutely shatters my soul. colm fahey is the greatest and i love that he learns to accept his son and love him the same despite everything. i love jesper’s relationship with wylan my beloved and i love that wylan always encourages him to embrace who he is, to embrace the powers that he has. wylan makes him feel wanted & loved and is the loveliest romantic partner to him. jesper’s relationship with inej is everything to me. they trust & love each other more than they could imagine. i love that jesper finds comfort in inej, that he feels okay to run to her whenever things go terribly wrong. and i love how inej always recognizes the way jesper feels and connects with him on levels beyond my understanding! i love that by the end of crooked kingdom, jesper finds the sense of belonging that he had once yearned for. i love that he feels secure & accepted & included & loved. JESPER!!! i want to give him a big hug!
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Both Kaz and Jesper try not to show emotion when saying goodbye to Inej, but the way is completely different. Kaz is detached, we see him nod, and he looks younger asking her to stay. At the same time, he won't let himself feel, even if he is alone. He stands tall, hold his head high, pretends he isn't affected, even if anyone can see through. Jesper is the opposite, he breaks and cries, he is supportive, he doesn't ask for her to stay, doesn't offer going with her. That scene is such a nice parallel with the "I won't tell you what you should do with your chance of freedom" but also it adds so much to the dynamic. In the show! universe, for the longest time it was the three of them, the "original" crows. Now, Inej is leaving and nothing will be the same.
(I still have strong opinions about the way season 2 missed the point with so many decisions and deleting this scene is a crime truly)
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The Proposal! (i literally couldn't pick one on my own bc i love them all so i used a random number generator xD)
Yeeeee! My friend! ❤️❤️❤️
She only barely resisted turning around to look at her friend, as if to make sure the hands combing through her hair didn’t belong to some type of imposter.
“You? You turned down a swanky gala to stay in and practise your fabrikating?”
Jes tugged a lock of her hair under the guise of sectioning off a braid. “I’m not entirely incapable of quiet contemplation, y’know.”
“More shocked by resisting temptation. An excuse to get dressed up, dance Wylan around, shock a merch or two—“
“Yeah, it’s all good fun! I suppose.” He took a sip of his wine, and Inej could hear the shrug in his voice. “It’s hardly a night at The Blue Paradise, though. Or The Silver Six! Have you been to see it yet?”
He knew she hadn’t, of course. There was still a tangle of sea salty tresses under his brush, and she’d showed up at his door in the late evening with wind-bitten cheeks. Inej smelled like the harbour. No, she hadn’t gone to see Kaz or his latest venture yet. The idea left a strange heat in her chest, a tingle in her fingers and toes. Coming home was different this time, though she couldn’t quite place how—
“Don’t change the subject, Jesper Fahey.”
“I’m not! I’d never— just saying that those stuffy Geldstraat parties aren’t always the temptation you think they are. Wy had no choice, and Marya wanted to try her hand at a little social interaction. Who am I to keep that woman from some fun? She deserves it.”
She must be settling in well, Inej’s mind supplied, and she found herself smiling. She sighed into her wine glass as Jes brushed the last knot out of her hair. The touch of his fingers was a soothing memory, his blunt nails scratching lightly at her scalp as he started to properly weave the braid.
She missed this. She missed Jesper. The sea had softened her, like sand between her toes. But, she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d been gone a bit too long this time— she wasn’t the only one who’d changed.
It wasn’t as if Jesper had stayed every stitch the same as he’d been since leaving The Barrel. On the contrary, it seemed like every time Inej made port in Ketterdam, he was warmer, brighter, healthier. Love looked good on him— Wylan looked good on him.
Ketterdam felt different this time, though. Jesper felt different.
“Jes, are you… are you happy?”
Jes tied off the braid at her nape, and then again when he reached the ends. Just as she’d found the strength to ask the question, he’d been sipping his wine. If the choked off sputtering was any indication, she caught him off guard.
“What?”
“You’re just not acting like yourself, that’s all. I—“
“‘Nej, I’ve never felt this good. I really haven’t! I, um… Well…”
Hardly a ringing endorsement. And neither was his trailing off to silence. “Jesper?”
He came around to drop heavily into the seat beside her, fixing his grey gaze on her, wide eyed and earnest. It should have been reassuring, perhaps. But, Jesper Fahey? Earnest? It wasn’t as if he was entirely allergic to sincerity, but he hadn’t made a single quip.
“What’s the matter?”
Fiddling with one of his many rings, Jesper’s skinny shoulders deflated on a sigh. “Nothing. It’s good, I promise! At least, I think it is— it will be! If…” For a split second, he just chewed his cheek and gazed down at his hands like he could divine the future there.
And then, he shot up to standing and was holding out a hand to her. “Cmon then. It’ll be easier to just show you.”
Thanks for playing ❤️❤️❤️
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