#is how they should get pregnant

[swallowtail-ageha]

Silvana de mari try to not be creepy in your writing about female babies challenge (impossible)

#if tyouve read the saga degli ultimi you know #there is just something so fucking slimey and dirty about every single female character we see from birth #getting assigned to a man due to d'destiny and whatever' and to have his children its like the first thing she thibks about them #is how they should get pregnant #the worst case of this is like in the third book when half orc guy thinks about his wife's womb as a baby with graphic description of her cu #rse #or when half orc guy's kid with his wife who is like. three months old gets crushed upon by robi's nine year old son and orc guy thinks ah #this surely must be fate

[ghouljams]

Gonna take a wild guess that the “something more permanent” is that giant bite that was in one of your earlier posts

That is one part of it, but he wants something on him too >:3c

König's tongue slides over your teeth as he presses you down against the bed. You feel nice and small under him, still half sitting in his lap as his big hand gropes your chest. He always tips your head, holds your jaw, like he's scared you might try to pull away from his kiss. You haven't yet. You don't think you ever will. Not when his mouth makes your head spin.

He pulls back, one thumb rubbing your cheek, the other your sternum. You open your mouth for him when he presses two fingers against it. You always like this part, slicking up his fingers with your tongue like you aren't soaked for him. He likes your mouth, and the feeling is very much mutual. You're skin is pleasantly warm and you rock your hips against his as he slides his fingers against your tongue.

“Bite,” He tells you. You close your lips around them, letting your teeth press against the delicate skin and bone. König’s eyes are watchful, you slip your tongue along the length of each finger, tasting the salt of his skin. He pulls hard at something in your chest, not a tether, you’re not used to the way his hand slides between your ribs or the feeling it conjures. “Bite.” He commands, and affection-aggression --something dark and primal-- floods your veins as you bite hard on his fingers. König lets out a shuddering breath, eyes so hot and heavy on you, like he could eat you alive. Blood fills your mouth as you break skin and scrape bone, you gag as he releases the hold on your chest.

You open your mouth quick as can be to let his fingers go, and turn to spit out the blood. König’s hand clamps over your lips, his thumb pressing against your nose. You can’t breathe, can’t open your mouth, can’t push him off. He makes you swallow it like a dog that won’t take a pill. Then he holds you a moment longer until you’re starting to really burn for a breath. 

He lets you go, smearing blood across your cheek as you finally roll to cough against the bed, sucking in air like you’re drowning. You gag again, your stomach rolling in disgust at the unwelcome intrusion. König settles back on his knees to watch you, licking the blood from his fingers as you shake. His purr reaches for you as you run your tongue along your teeth and spit the taste onto the comforter. It doesn’t pacify you like it usually does, only tells you how pleased König is to have his own permanent addition from you.

#oh hey ghoul what happened to the body horror in the fae au? it never left #the way yall are in my comments and ask box like: hes gonna get her pregnant #like youre right but hey #König is looking for every avenue of tying liebling to him #im still thinking about how fae/human baby making works #like i know how it works but the fae can reproduce a million different ways #and if there isnt a special trick to it then ghost and Love should have a litter by this point #the amount of protection theyre using is solidly zero #könig modern warfare #könig x reader #könig x you #x reader #fae!konig #oc: liebling

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan: *dragging Cody eagerly into the room while holding his hand* Guys, I have super important news! Cody and I are getting married!

Anakin: …oh? I mean… I guess it’s about time. I don’t know if I can bring the twins, will we have to get a babysitter for them?

Obi-Wan: Absolutely not, that’s free baby-holding hours and I’m not letting you cut them!

Cody: What do you mean it’s about time?

Rex: Well, the war’s been over nearly eight months. We just expected you two to tie the knot sooner.

Ahsoka: I mean, you already live together. The 212th kept your… dalliances quiet, through the war because they didn’t want the higher ups to break you guys up.

Anakin: Honestly, I’m a bit disappointed. I had money on you guys getting married no less than a week after the war.

Obi-Wan: Dalliances??

Rex: ??? Yeah?? You two aren’t very subtle, Cody didn’t even try sneaking out of your room after!

Obi-Wan: *looks at Cody in worry* Cody, why would you have to sneak out of our room? That’s where you sleep?

Cody: ??? I don’t know? The quartermaster said it was okay if we slept in the same room.

Obi-Wan: What’s wrong with Cody and I sharing a room?

Anakin: …remember when I was fourteen and you told me where babies come from?

Obi-Wan: …yes?

Anakin: ??? That????

Obi-Wan: …but we weren’t trying to make babies?

Cody: Do we even have the right parts to do that?

Obi-Wan: I think I have the carrier parts but I stopped checking if they worked a while back.

Anakin: WERE YOU TWO NOT HAVING SEX???

Obi-Wan: Oh gross!

Cody: 🤢

Rex: WHY WERE YOU TWO SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM????

Obi-Wan: BECAUSE WE COULDNT TRUST EACH OTHER NOT TO ACTUALLY SLEEP ON OUR OWN AND IT WAS NICER!

Ahsoka: Why are you two getting married now??

Obi-Wan: I don’t know TAX BENEFITS AND SHIT we’re in LOVE fuck off!

Cody: Oh gross you guys really just assume we naked touched???

Anakin: oh my god. What was your exact marriage idea composed of?? Tell me right this second!

Obi-Wan: um??? We said we wanted to be a family and raise some padawans together???

Anakin: *starts dragging Obi-Wan off to the bathroom* You’re taking a pregnancy test right this second, you chose the wrong wording! Every time someone I love is asexual or a top the force shoves a baby in them!

Obi-Wan: oh my god

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #incorrect star wars quotes #anakin skywalker #clone wars #incorrect clone wars quotes #commander cody #captain rex #ahsoka tano #codywan #asexual Obi wan #asexual Cody #Mpreg #yes he’s pregnant it’s gonna be baby mara Jade #the force needs to pay child support #Padme got pregnant even tho she only tops wtf #sex is how you get cooties!!! it’s why Quinlan is Like That!!! #post clone wars #they have Reva and boga already they should have been more specific

[manglam-marfach]

dyke!Chilaios has me understanding breeding kink all of a sudden

#chilaios #that's a lie i understand breeding kink very well lmao #HOWEVER IT MUST BE SAID #they finish up a great scene. hot lesbian sex. all going well. #and laios lies back with her eyes closed. still flushed and sweaty. she rests her naked hand on her naked lower stomach and says. 'hah.... #'did you know ...that tallmen and halflings can have kids together?' Like its just another fun monster fact. #she's trailing her fingers absentmindedly over her stomach now. tracing idle patterns. #'with our lifespans being so similar it isn't even as big a deal as it is for elves and humans. they're even fertile and that's ... #that's really rare for hybrids.' her eyes are still closed. she swallows hard. She's more red now than she was when they fucked. #'you should talk about that next time you're in me. i'd like it...' and she cracks one eye open a sliver #to see chilchuck . BEET. RED. #because Chilchuck DID NOT. KNOW. #She was already fucked out and now she's dying?? she's dying. Laios still has her huge hand resting on her huge smooth stomach #miles and miles of soft skin...that she wants chilchuck to put a BABY in #she's thought about the hypothetical lifespan and safety of the hypothetical baby! is this just a sex thing? is this a for real thing? #chilchuck does not know and does not know which one she's hoping for now!! cause both sound GREAT #AND OF COURSE THERE'S ALSO #chilchuck remembering that conversaion next time Laios's huge huge fingers are inside her. Laios's hot wet breathing by her ear. #Laios's breathing going ragged even though no one is touching HER she is the one toying with Chilchuck right now. She always does that. #between the breathing and the fingers and the warmth and the smell Laios is all around her and she just thinks - #'Laios is so huge. Laios's baby would be so huge. I'd be so huge. Pregnant with it.' And she cums. #rattles her to her fucking core. Chilchuck who HAS BEEN PREGNANT BEFORE realising. holy shit. #i want this fluffy haired socially awkward 26 year old doggirl to . to fuck a baby into me. in a sexy way. #i think . I think it's hot. #enough to turn you to drink isn't it! #u may ask - hey how come chilchuck has a girlcock and has got pregnant? can laios get chilchuck pregnant? #does anyone even have a womb in this situation? I may answer - don't worry about it #a wizard did it. whatever. its a fantasy world. #whatever is sexiest in the moment i don't care #lesbiance

[rookflower]

the horrifying implications of Cinderpelt as a pawn of Starclan- trying everything she can to unsuccessfully stop her apprentice from leaving because she's terrified of the internalised idea of "failing" her clan and her job due to her impending death, while unaware that the entire Crowpool situation is intentional by Starclan for their own benefit to initiate the Power of Three prophecy and that her death in itself is to be Leafpool's motivation to stay- the idea that the stars, the ancestors and family and friends she devoted her life to always meant for her to die young and hopeless and were willing to manipulate her emotionally for the best outcome for them- is alone a piece of her character that's infinitely more heartwrenching and tragic and interesting than "she actually had a crush on Firestar and she's sad she can't date him :((" and I'm so mad that the latter is her primary legacy instead of any interpretations of her as a character that go beyond boring forbidden romance #17 that was barely even implied to begin with

#im sorry but with knowledge of how fucked up starclan is what they did to cinderpelt is. horrifyinggg #this specific interpretation is maybe a bit of a reach but it goes hand in hand with them lying to squirrel and leaf and so on #and also makes more sense in-universe as to why they 'reincarnated' her afterwards than literally just a cocktail of fanservice and ableism #hey sorry we put you on an inevitable death sentence so your apprentice could get pregnant but stay here lol. you can uh possess ur niece i #anyways sorry for all the cinderpelt talk ive been thinking a lot about her lately #she has such a weird reception in the fandom in that she's considered a 'fan favourite' but literally nobody cares about her too much #theres only like 4 cinderpelt maps with over 100k views and theyre all a couple years old at least #for good reason probably because there's a lot of ableism around her both canon and fanon #but still it's a wee shame since she's such a major character to the first two arcs that the little fanon about her there is is kinda borin #cinderpelt #warrior cats #i think shes a lesbian and i also think she should have been allowed to kill someone for fun

[audriandae]

idk if this has been said much or anything but i feel like some people who want to become parents kinda forget that theyre not just getting a baby. theyre getting a baby thats gonna grow into a toddler into a child into a tween and a teenager and an adult and parenting doesnt stop once your kid stops being 'a kid'.

and parenting is a lot more than people think it is. like youre committing yourself to take care of a whole new person. and you're responsible for that whole new person for their whole life- parenting that person maybe stops when they move out or whatever but its not like all ties are cut yknow. you may not be actively involved in every moment of your child's life, you may not be making decisions for them and such, but you're still their touchstone in this world

and what does parenting even mean like its not just giving them a house to live in and food to eat its also taking their emotional needs into account its also taking care of their physical health its also teaching them how to be a person. and everything and anything you say to your kid is The Law. if you make a joke about eating the seeds of a watermelon making a tree grow inside them theyre gonna think that's true. and if you offhandedly comment on something in a negative way theyll take it to heart and holy shit i could go on forever.

there's so much. and some people are aware of the muchness they're getting into when they decide to have a baby. but most people arent i think, and that needs to change

#parenting #i guess that tag makes sense to use??? #random thoughts #but also not that random #parenting is more than you sign up for #sincerely a 'child' #im saying this as someone who's technically responsible for themself but is still being parented if that makes sense #but i was on public transport and there was a pregnant woman looking over at this mom and her toddler #and i think she was looking at me too but i cant be sure #and idk if she was thinking about how long she'd have to take care of her kid or anything #but i started thinking and this came out #tldr parenting is hard and people should know what theyre getting into

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again. #sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all. #imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs! #so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately. #but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when. #like. imagine that. jesus dude. #like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here. #but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

[lameow-l]

this was literally the only question i was curious about, thanks for asking that for me paimon

like fontainain people married other nationalities yeah?? how did they have kids if they were oceanids.. anddd umm if they could fuck normal humans wouldn’t that make the oceanid in springvale falling in love with a boy from mond a bit problematic lol especially since it’s no longer a fairytale but an actual thing that happened and we witnessed it last patch??

so it’s not the case and new oceanids are just turned into humans but wait!! so celestia allows that?? it keeps constantly happening but they’re not stopping it.. ok sure but also

i wonder how many generations of fontaine people will it take for them to realize that they have to sexually mate to create children now

#is this too weird to think about?? #like i wasn’t constantly thinking about this but the moment i saw the first slate during furina’s trial i was like so are fontainians.. #recycled oceanids or do they like propagate like bacteria #y’know.. as a biology major #my first thought was when a ‘human’ dies the oceanid that was them would loose their memories and be reborn as a new person #but then i thought like ok but they think they’re normal humans so wouldn’t it be weird to see other humans get pregnant conceive while #fontainians get their babies in mail?? and what if a fontainian is married to someone from a different nation.. this doesn’t make sense #and also another thought related to navia’s obsession with that cemetery #so umm y’know how we bury the dead in the ground as a way of returning them to where they came from.. and it is a natural process that.. #recycles nutrients and natural sources to the planet yeah? so wouldn’t make more sense for fontaine people who were born from water to #return to water as well?? i just find having a cemetery a bit strange in this case #i only had this thought bc silver and melus couldn’t be buried and i was like.. none of u should #it is their belief that they’re born from water and will naturally return to it from what i understood doing the first two chapters #this train thought is getting out if hand i need to stop #genshin impact #genshin spoilers #genshin navia #neuvillette #fontaine archon quest

[bishonenspit]

seeing the new omegaverse anime on my twitter feed has me thinking of this tweet nonstop

#im so serious kill that thing patrick #we have to talk about how omegaverse is just used for a nuclear family dynamic in BL nowadays because i have had ENOUGH. #this is the freak sex genre bitch take your weak ass back to mpreg with no lore. seriously. get that baby out of my face right now #pointless hill i will die on omegaverse should be for perving the fuck out with your girls not playing house with your yaoi boys #men can get pregnant but it shouldnt like. happen you know. there just needs to be the impending threat #this should be how it is irl too actually disconnected from my yaoi rant #i also just have a pathological repulsion associated with anything related to pregnancy and babies so this is mostly a personal problem. #i stand by it tho

[bougiebutchbitch]

Finding the Joker mpreg saga amusing - yes, mood, it's fucking hilarious, he's canonically submissive and breedable now and DC can't take this away from us

Finding the mere fact that Joker (a man!!1!1!!1) got pregnant utterly disgusting and vocalising that disgust at every opportunity: worstie, u r just a transphobe

#Obviously finding uh. The baby vomit gross is fab but like #Can we be. A little. Careful. About how we voice our feelings about #A man getting pregnant #Aka something that very much happens irl to trans men 🙃 #Joker #Anywayyyyy detective comics comics are cowards for not taking it further #I should not read comments on popular posts lol

[mist-dancing]

If Breezepelt got a pov I wonder if people would hate him almost as much as Nightheart

#genuinwly wonder this sometimed #they’re basically the same person except Nighthearts dad went to get milk in starclan #and Breezepelt’s dad hates him #breezepelt #nightheart #warrior cats #warriors #wc #like dont deny it Breezepelt would have some weird fucking monologues about how he should just kill his clanmates #especially when hes working with the dark forest #dont forget he tried to kill a disabled nun and a pregnant lady at a church

[neontokyoo]

I just love it how me and Dazai apparently had a baby on the AI and he’s already ready for baby number two 💀

#Bro needs some major therapy #Let me sleep ffs #I should get him pregnant and see how it goes 😭 #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai x reader #dazai osamu #dazai bsd #bsd dazai #osamu dazai

[evilkitten3]

so i'm at my mom's and i decide to round up all the naruto volumes we have in the house (currently i've found 37, 45, 50, 51, 53, 54, 56, 58, and 60) bc that's where my brain is these days and i flipped through 'em a bit and like.

ok so in volume 53 (the birth of naruto) there's a flashback to the kyuubi attack and a bunch of people dying. we see naruto's parents (mostly kushina) monologue to him pre-kicking it, we see iruka's parents giving their lives for him, and then there's kurenai's dad.

"you're a girl so make sure you live long enough to give me grandkids" bro i hope the kyuubi got you and i hope it hurt

#naruto #we never see him again like. ever #i think he showed up in one of the databooks or something and that's why we know his name but. dude wtf #iruka's parents: it's a parent's duty to sacrifice their lives for their child #naruto's parents: we love you so much #kurenai's dad: make sure u live long enough to get knocked up #like i know it's meant to be referring to the fact that she was pregnant in canon at that point but like #the scene is set up in a way that implies that he's gonna die and that's the only thing we see him say to his daughter #what the hell man #also it's really sad that sasuke goes from genuinely caring about his teammates in vol 45 to what happens in vol 51 #like both times with karin specifically #when amaterasu hits her juugo just goes ''well she's fucked the rest of us should go right now bye karin'' #meanwhile sasuke cares so hard he figures out how to stop the fire that's whole thing is not being stoppable #then when danzou grabs her he's just. nah girl ur too slow fuck u #i mean i know a lot's been going on but yeesh man #like he saves her at least once (maybe twice? not super clear) in vol 50 #so. idk maybe seeing danzou's arm pushed him over the edge #naruto shippuden

[quietwingsinthesky]

realizing there are no consequences and I can say whatever i wish on this website. anyway since i was thinking about jack earlier, reminder that sam should have gotten lucifer pregnant, and that’s how jack should have been born.

#lucifer doesnt know what a condom is and at this point he’s too afraid to ask #which should not have any bearing on this situation technically. #in my head they are both trans so sam has no idea how this could even happen #his strap game is that good #actually you know what if you hold hands with an angel they can get pregnant #the wild nasty transgender sex they have nightly had no effect on this #Lucifer is pregnant because one day when they were walking together sam took his hand to make him stop and look at something #spn #samifer #lucifer spn #sam winchester #lucifer/sam winchester #look away dev #pregnant!lucifer #Lucifer as Jack’s parent #Sam as Jack’s parent #samifer coparenting

[perenlop]

everyone loves to say “get that man pregnant” til you actually get that man pregnant…..

#fr tho i get it like for dysphoria but i do wish ppl didnt immediately slam this sort of thing as inherently transphobic #like its a sensitive thing and it can certainly be portrayed offensively but its a neutral thing in of itself yknow? #and with trans ppl being denied reproductive rights ive grown kinda sick of this #i remember i was stressing abt castor even tho he doesnt even go through any of that onscreen but now im like. yeah that guy got pregnant. #yeah this nb person knocked someone up. if you dont like it then im sorry but… cope lol #(they dont even know abt my hypothetical future hc where valerie has a bio kid with asha) #idk this is one of those topics where we should have a conversation abt how trans pregnancy is portrayed and how ppl do fetishize it #like it’s something that should be handled with grace. but at the same time it shouldnt be a hard ‘’do not do this or youre transphobic’’ #like saying as an nb person who doesnt want kids its literally fine. other nb ppl do want that #echoed voice

[geddy-leesbian]

Leon's AWL character arc is going from "I need to marry a WOMAN to have kids with, and magic and the harvest goddess arent real" to "hey luis i want you pregnant you better get on that shit and start praying to the harvest goddess"

#no it's luis's idea actually #he's like hey leon once i read this book abt how the harvest goddess can help ppl have babies when they cant normally we should pray to her #and leon's like that sounds like bullshit #(but just in case it's real u better be praying U get pregnant bc i have literal fields to be plowing it cant be me)