#oc: liebling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ethereal-night-fairy · 9 months

Text

Forgotten sorrows

Chapter 3

Fae!Soap X Female Reader

We see things from Soap's perspective as he navigates through his growing feelings.

Warnings: MDNI, suggestive language, dark themes, manipulation, mention of abuse and trauma, MDNI, sorry if I missed any.

I was going to make this alot angstier but I decided to pace myself and do that for the next chapter. This chapter isn't that dark but it still touches up on sensitive topics. The witch best friend makes a brief appearance at the end but I'll definitely be writing alot more of her in the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy the chapter. This Fae au belongs to @ghouljams I feature alot of their Oc characters in my writing.

Forgotten Sorrows Masterlist

Masterlist

Words: 6.3k

Soap's Pov

"So what are you in the mood for?", Gaz says leaning against someone's car. "A painter?, actor?, writer?, there's a whole buffet layed out for you here, ya lucky bastard", he says keeping his eyes peeled for some sad naive soul to sink his teeth into.

"Ah'm not too fussed ah just wannae eat"

Soap looks around the festival searching for an easy meal after his latest strings of failed…encounters to put it nicely. Artists these days were so difficult to exploit, it was like beating a dead horse for crumbs. His appetite wasn't what it used to be, even with completed artwork the hunger would return soon after. He needed someone naive and ready to churn out art like their life depended on it. Just so he could feel satiated for a while before finding his next victim.

"I don't think I'll find much here, but the costumes are funny to rate on their accuracy", Gaz sighs

Soap hums as he locks eyes on a pretty little comical fairy walking in with a theater group. He could hear her voice from here. He watched as she easily got roped into a raffle scam at the entrance as her group walked to the stage. He laughs as she buys several tickets. Probably thinking luck was on her side. This was as good a sign as any to make his entrance.

Gaz took the hint to go off to do his own thing while Soap went to hunt. Ensnaring her was one of the easiest things he's ever done. A few compliments here, a few longing touches there had her in the palm of his hands in seconds. Her naivety was honestly concerning how unguarded she was in regards to everything. Almost as if she knew she'd be taken care of in the end. But Soap didn't mind, he just wanted to feed. She was all too eager to share her binder of plays and her dreams of them reaching Broadway. She had potential, he'd give her that. She was also very much willing to work herself to the ground to achieve her goals. As well as using any available resources near her. Which was exactly what he was looking for.

He got his hooks into her before she had to leave to meet her sister and quite a few for that matter. He had more hooks in her than the minutes he spent talking to her. But that just meant he could consume her in a shorter period of time. He kept an eye on her to make sure no other Fae tried to take what was his. It was then that he saw you working your little stall with all sorts of art pieces cluttering your display. You had a pleasant air about you, something very comforting. He saw you fret over your sister's naivety and try to school her in basic knowledge. You had a glint in your beautiful eyes. One that he rarely saw anymore. He could feel the love and intent behind each one of your pieces as if you made them with specific people in mind. People who needed love, people who needed care. The pieces attracted those who lacked in those aspects and you sold them with gratitude. He was so occupied with you he didn't realise his little pink fairy had left. But he couldn't stop himself from watching you from afar. There was just something off about you. Like you were cloaked in an imaginary veil. Like your true self was hidden. Gaz had brought Ghost for a chat after meeting him while exploring, with Love, Liebling and Konig trailing behind with food in their hands. Liebling kept her distance with Konig shielding her from Soap's view and vice versa. The whole time talking to them he couldn't keep his sights away from you for more than a couple seconds. Everyone seemed to have noticed. Gaz made a passing remark about him burning through his artists like cigarettes.

Love had a mischievous look in her eyes and wanted to investigate whether to tease Soap at a later date or just to mess up his chances with his new artist, so she dragged Ghost with Konig and Liebling trailing behind to go look at the stall and get more information. Soap watched from afar to see what she was up to, not trusting her unpredictable behaviour. He often wondered how Ghost dealt with her, but was also jealous he found a life partner before him. It was actually unbelievable if he thought about it. Ghost had been alone for years refusing any interaction with humans unless it had to do with him feeding. It took Soap a really long time to get Ghost to consider him an acquaintance let alone a friend. But he decided not to dwell on his relationships right now, he was more concerned with what Love was about to do with you. He already had your sister in his grasp; so he wasn't planning on pursuing you as of yet. Maybe not ever. He just found you intriguing, he tried to convince himself.

He saw you tense up the second they were in a miles radius from you. Like a switch had flipped sending you into fight, flight or freeze mode. You definitely froze at the first glimpse you got of Ghost like a deer in headlights. You recovered quickly and put back on a professional smile while trying to keep calm. It was entertaining seeing you tremble as you painted Love's portrait as Ghost kept his eyes on you. It was even funnier when that seer approached your stand with her giant of a boyfriend trailing behind her like a love sick puppy after Ghost had showed off the portrait you painted. You looked like you wanted to run and hide or possibly faint but kept up appearances. You were smart and never thanked them, it seemed like you had some knowledge in regards to interacting with Fae. You held yourself with grace even in difficult situations, it was admirable for a human. Most would have ran away. Getting hooks in you would prove to be difficult, he thought. So your sister will have to do, to satiate his growing hunger.

He found his little pink fairy at the food stall and offered to buy her snacks while he continued to chat her up. A little longer goes by and he feels that same pleasant air he felt watching you, this time much closer. He sees you looking around and finally setting your eyes on your sister who was eating up every last word he was saying to her. You approach out of breath panting. And your sister introduces him to you while she continues to chat to him but he wasn't paying attention. He couldn't take his eyes off you, even though he tried. He thought you were pretty from afar but seeing you close up was a whole different story. All kinds of unholy thoughts were running through his dirty mind. He couldn't help himself picturing you beneath him in your current state with a flushed expression and out of breath. Moaning and begging him for his touch, his lips, his tongue. He caught your not so subtle stare at his lips which he smirked at seeing you get even more embarrassed.

He saw you hurriedly introduce yourself before your sister could give out your name. Faoi Rún? translating to confidential in Irish, he smirks at your antics. Just Rún had many translations but he assumed you meant a 'secret', when you told him to address you as such. Weren't you a pretty little smart ass he thought. Maybe you needed a lesson in manners. One he'd be more than happy to provide. Picturing you bent over his lap squirming trying to escape as he paints your ass different shades of colours, while you whimper and cry for him to stop. He could feel blood rushing to his cock, he needed to quickly navigate his thinking elsewhere. So he settled on asking you some questions.

You were quick and concise with anything you answered not giving any room for follow ups. The complete opposite of your sister who liked sharing every detail under the sun about herself and her work. It only took him a couple of minutes at the start before he had gotten her full name. He saw you chew your lips as you were deep in thought, probably thinking of a way to get rid of him. He could see the weariness in your eyes and the fear. Like you already knew what he was about to attempt to do. It didn't matter though once he successfully isolated his victims away from friends and family it was an easy game to play. You'd get fed up eventually and stop trying to keep in contact, leaving your sister to be consumed by him. And he might just be able to get some hooks in you when you're grieving her loss. Humans don't really think rationally when in pain or distress. A lot of great artwork is fuelled by sadness and grief so he might be in for a treat.

He left with your sister on that day, he thought about seducing her further but honestly he didn't even need to. She was one of the most gullible people he's ever met. She would believe anything he said and just feed off the compliments he gave her. Isolating her from her friends was fairly easy; they stopped trying to get in touch about two weeks in. He'd make her spend the majority of her time with him and ignore everyone else. You on the other hand didn't give up so easily. Which he wasn't too concerned about as long as you kept your distance. He'd pour his inspiration into your sister causing her to have manic episodes of hours or even days of just writing. She had already fed him 5 short plays, 3 skits and was working on a screenplay, this was 4 weeks in. He was satisfied with the way things were going until you showed up at her door.

He was honestly vexed when he first saw you come in. It was a bad look for him considering your sister had just collapsed from exhaustion. And he was coincidentally there when her whole house was a mess. He couldn't really talk his way out of his involvement in the matter so he stayed silent after your initial outburst. Not really hiding his anger. You would have seen past it anyway, with being on high alert and all. Charming you would be even harder with your knowledge regarding Fae. So he stood by and watched you seethe in anger at him for the first few minutes. You were really protective of your sister, much to his annoyance. You eventually focused on cleaning away her apartment as quietly as possible not wanting to disturb her. He could see the worry and love radiating off you. He found you furrowing your brows and biting your lips quite often mumbling your frustration to yourself. He wanted to brush his fingers over your lower lip to relieve the pain you were causing yourself. He watched your body mesmerized by its movement wanting to pin you against the wall and make you tremble with his touch. Make you forget everything but him, causing pretty tears to stream down your face as the pleasure overwhelms you. Conjuring your warm body in his mind, pinned and tied to the bed, begging him in a soft voice to stop teasing you. Trailing his rough fingers across your sensitive skin, kissing and biting your neck leaving hickies and bruises in his wake. He didn't even bother hiding the fact he wanted to devour you. Maybe it would scare you off or even better if it would cause a rift in your relationship with your sister. If she viewed it as you trying to seduce him. He could definitely use his tenthers to sway her emotions to his side and convince her that you wanted to have him for yourself. He would catch you looking back at him wearily from time to time. He wanted to know so badly what those pretty eyes were hiding. But he needed to get a hold of himself. He needed to get you out of his head if he wanted to finish what he started. Maybe a brain be gone would help keep you away for a while until he finished up with her or he could go the more complicated route to create conflict between you two. The idea didn't seem so bad. He wanted to watch you break so badly, then finally put you back together piece by piece.

He enjoyed watching you in a domestic setting, you milling around trying to get things in order. It was almost endearing if it wasn't for the fact you were interrupting his meal. As much as he wanted you, he wasn't in the mood to complicate what he had started. Your sisters was a sure meal, you on the other hand needed more time and finessing to obtain. He was tired of difficult prey especially after not receiving sustenance even after putting so much work into them. Nothing was fulfilling enough anymore, the hunger never leaves him. He wondered what his soul was yearning for if not art?

He watches you enter your sister's room as you go to gently arouse her from her sleep. You come back into the kitchen a little while later to set up the table. He fully expected you to tell him to leave since he wasn't welcome or needed here but to his surprise you set the table for three without saying a word. Your movements had care and intent behind them almost everything you do did. You set up a nice array of food and set it out on the table after heating it. Your sister had just entered then taking his attention away from you. He had to put up an act again, to present himself as the ever caring love interest not that there was any love involved. But he fawned over her making her believe he cared for her wellbeing which served to annoy you further. As your sister tried to convince you that it wasn't his fault she wasn't taking care of herself. You had offered the meal freely to him, though a bit reluctantly. Causing something warm to bloom in his stomach. He watched you take care of your sister to make sure she was well fed and hydrated while glancing at him from time to time. He found your care refreshing, he could tell you wanted to make sure he too was enjoying the meal you had provided even though you tried to act nonchalantly. He almost felt bad about his plan to ruin your sister and possibly your own life….almost.

He had left soon after the dinner, sensing your glare. He ignored the Fae working at the front desk considering they were weak and harmless. They may have cowered slightly as he left the building. He smoked patiently on the side waiting for you to come out. He watched on as you finally did, blowing hot air into the chilly night. You were on edge for some reason and quickly made your way to your car. He realised why as you were pressed up against the car door by a boggart. Pesky creatures they were if you allowed yourself to feel fear that is. But you seemed determined to escape, maybe this would scare you enough from leaving your house for a while which would solve his own problem without him getting involved. But then he saw that thing trying to grab and undress you and everything turned red. Like a blood moon rising. His rage manifested around him like smoke and cobwebs. He was at the scene before he could stop himself. All he could think about was ripping that thing a new one. You had managed to throw it to the ground and stomp on its groin as he came into view. Your trembling, your scared face, your disgust at the creature fuelled him further to step on its neck as you watched in horror. But he didn't want to give it an easy death, no that would be unfair, that thing needed to learn a lesson. A lesson on not touching things that belonged to him. He leaned down to manifest the most blood curdling nightmarish vision he could conjure to plant in its mind. Its mouth opened in a silent scream from the pain and horror, as Soap snapped its neck before it could make any noise.

He watched as your mind descended into hell as you watched him approach after killing that monster. He saw you close your eyes in fear thinking he'd hurt you next. But how could he? Especially when you were trembling like a little wounded animal. Your breathing becoming labored and erratic. He cupped your face. His anger was still present but it wasn't directed at you; no it was directed at him for not being able to keep his emotions in check. For wanting to hold and comfort you while you trembled in his arms. But he needed to assert his dominance to make you fear him. That's exactly what he tried to do after getting you to open your eyes and made sure you weren't seriously hurt. He didn't want you thinking he cared for you in any sense. It backfired though because all fear seemed to evaporate from your body when he mentioned your sister. Your face grew stern and your backbone straightened. You looked like you were about to claw at his face so he decided to tap your mind away before you could try. He grabbed you as you passed out bringing you back to your condo. Surprisingly he was let in even with the Rowan branch hanging from your door, maybe because he wished you no harm in that moment he just wanted you to mind your own business and stop interfering with his food source.

He placed you gently on the bed and was about to leave when he came across your work room. He couldn't help but enter. You had many unfinished projects lying around but the ones that were finished almost felt like they were brimming with life and emotions. He traced his fingers on your recent paintings, they all conveyed a similar emotion, the pursuit of knowledge, a need to discover and unearth, a desire to learn and grow. He felt it in each brushstroke, your emotions were so embedded within it was hard to look away. But he managed to come to his senses and left to go back home, not before glancing at your sleeping form one last time. He needed to come up with a backup plan if you decided to remain a thorn in his side.

And a thorn you remained. He had received a text in the afternoon from Love when you had entered that seer's shop with your sister who had many of his recognizable hooks in her. In comparison to you who had absolutely no hooks at all. It was odd the first time he had noticed. He had chalked it up to you being a sink (as in a person with no magic so tethers just slipped off you) but that wasn't accurate since he did feel some magic from you just not alot. Maybe you were just an odd little human who didn't like being tethered.

Love said something along the lines of his food being taken away by an odd fae with magic that was a little all over the place. He wondered what Fae had the gall to try to take what was his. The description matched you. Which seemed ridiculous, he had just met you yesterday you had absolutely no trace of fae magic on you. Love may have just texted to annoy him. But his brain be gone didn't work if you were with your sister. Thinking back on it now you were wearing your Rowan choker so that may have been the reason why it didn't work. He was foolish to ignore that but again he wasn't thinking straight that night. You had a way with consuming his thoughts. He needed to see for himself what the situation was. You were becoming more and more difficult to deal with. He might have to resort to more hostile methods to get you to leave. So he texted your sister to meet so he could get the situation under control again.

He sees you from afar as he walks into the park. There's definitely magic in the air around you. Your magic was indeed all over the place; most likely governed by your emotions it seemed. Even Fae children were taught to control their magic better than you. After you started setting up the picnic blanket in a relatively secluded area, the air around you seemed to calm down. You probably felt safer away from people's watchful eyes. Soap didn't understand though, how you were able to go from hiding your magic completely to having zero control over it now. The only explanation would be if you had purposely hid your identity and now whatever magic you used wasn't working anymore. At least your appearance was mostly human so no one would be alarmed if they saw you in Fae form. He watched you with curiosity as you didn't seem to notice him approaching. You were too occupied with the arrangement of the food and your sister ignoring your questions to feel eyes roaming your body. Only when you heard his voice did you turn around to glare at him as your sister went to hug him. All the warmth and love you had held a second ago vanished. The magic in the air spiked as your emotional state because somewhat unstable.

"Ye put in quite th' effort 'ere", he says dodging your sister smoothly once he sees the iron ring on her finger a gift from you most likely. You just glare up at him as he smirked seeing your discomfort at his arrival. Your sister goes on about getting to know each other better which you ignore as your continued glaring. You clearly weren't happy to see him as you look at your sister for answers.

"This was supposed to be a picnic for the two of us", you whisper to your sister. She just shrugs saying the more people the better, and that she wanted you to get to know her boyfriend better. Though he didn't remember ever saying that they were official, but didn't bother to correct her since it served to annoy you further. For the next few minutes you didn't say anything while you continued to unpack the picnic as your sister swooned over Soaps every last word. You were trying desperately to keep your magic in check not wanting to draw more unwanted attention. The bitter taste of betrayal was sitting on your tongue but you didn't want to say anything to ruin this picnic with your sister so you stayed quiet.

Once everything was layed out your sister eagerly offered Soap some sandwiches and juice saying she put a lot of effort in making them. He caught the lie immediately but feigned ignorance. There was no trace of her care in the sandwiches or snacks. He could only feel yours as you continued to look busy getting your sketchbook out. He didn't want to get accidentally hooked to you by eating the food you made so said he wasn't all that hungry and he just wanted to spend time with your sister. Which caught your attention.

"We don't put a price or repayment on food, eat freely, my sister would feel upset if you denied her hospitality", you say devoid of emotions very deep in thought.

"Please eat something, I worked so hard to prepare all this", she says, scooting closer to him trying to graze his arm with the hand that had the iron ring on it. He moved away swiftly avoiding contact.

"Sorry lass, ah have ae nasty iron allergy, can't have ye touchin' me with that ring on".

She didn't even question what he said before she was slipping that ring off. "Oh! My bad! Let me take it off right now", you look at your sister with shock as you subconsciously rub the fingers you had used to put on the iron ring her. How could she just believe everything he said so easily!? Soap smirks at your reaction. You watch as your sister goes to offer him food again as she moves even closer to him. Not knowing what else to do you place your yellow primroses at the center of the picnic blanket where everyone could smell the sweet scent. The smell reached Soaps nose and he felt a headache coming on but he kept his composure as everyone ate and enjoyed the picnic. The smell paired with your sister's non stop talking was chipping away at his composure. He was finding it difficult to maintain his loving persona. He glanced at you while maintaining a tedious conversation with your sister who just wanted to talk about her prospects in becoming famous from her writing, also expressing interest in writing movies scripts. He smiled and nodded as you caught his gaze on you. You seemed on edge with your magic swirling around you as good as an indicator. You looked at him wearily waiting for something to happen or maybe for him to drop his mask. You glanced around the park gauging the danger he could possibly pose in public, probably thinking he wouldn't do much with so many people around. Which you were right about, he wasn't going to cause a scene in public. You were still on edge about your last encounter with him.

"I'm going to go over there for a bit to sketch", you tell your sister who was practically burrowing herself into Soap's side. She just nods as she continues to talk to Soap. You make your way towards a bunch of wild flowers as Soap watches your figure leave. He couldn't stand her talking anymore and that smell of the primroses was getting nauseating. He needed to get away for a bit to gain some sanity back. So he buttered up your sister with compliments and inspiration and told her to write down a couple of scenes she wanted to include in the screenplay she was writing. She immediately went into a daze getting out her notebook to write whatever was coming into her mind. Soap slipped away a little bit later when she was too occupied to notice his absence.

He scanned the area wondering where you wandered off to. He saw you crouched down to the level of a small group of children who were probably asking you to draw something for them. You had a gentle smile on your face as you drew whatever the kids asked for, as soap watched. He slowly approached, not wanting to disturb your little moment. You had your guard down smiling to yourself as you drew. The air around was light and your magic seemed to swirl around you and the children affectionately. He has never seen you smile so gently, definitely not at him anyway. He was right behind you as you handed the last drawing to a little child who just happened to be a Fae. The child smiled at you and handed you a stone with a hole in it. You tried saying you didn't require a gift in exchange for the drawing but the child insisted and ran off to go play with their friends before you could protest. Soap watched you turn the rock in your hand inspecting it. Your magic was still swirling around you, it had an almost childlike innocence to it. Soap couldn't help but reach out and feel it run through his fingers. You jolted when you felt him touch your magic and stood up abruptly turning around to face him. Your gentle smile was gone and you were on high alert again. You eyed his wearily wondering why he had followed you.

"It's ae hagstone", he says pointing to the rock in your hand. You look at it and lift it up to your eye and see if you can see anything different from the hole. You watch the children in the distance but nothing changes. You can only gather fleeting glimpses of peculiarity nothing different from your eyesight now. Soaps eyes you with curiosity wondering why you'd bother looking through the stone when all Fae have the sight to see the otherworld. Though you didn't come across as any other typical Fae. You didn't have hooks. Not even small ones. You gave things too freely for it to be considered normal. Even if you had lived mostly as a human for god knows how long. Most human he knew as least let tethers hook into them when they do someone a favour or give someone a gift. You wouldn't even allow that. Not every tether was meant to be repaid or cashed in. They often just served as a bond of trust between two people. Something you lacked. Your scent and magic operated slightly differently as well from normal Fae. It was very much dominant on your emotional state. Your scent had changed the second Soap had touched your magic. It went from a light sweet scent, like freshly baked goods to something a lot more dense, something a lot darker but the sweetness didn't completely leave. There was something intoxicating about the smell of your arousal and fear mixed together which had him leaning into the air around you, while you were distracted by the rock. You turned to look at Soap again when you felt his breath on your neck. A shiver ran down your spine bringing back the naughty thoughts you had when you first met him. You refuse to meet his eyes not wanting to fall into a rabbit hole of hedonistic thoughts.

"Fae don't need that tae see….something wrong with yer eyes?".

You don't respond as you put the rock in one of your pockets and make your way towards the wild flowers again. He follows you waiting for you to respond which you weren't going to do. You were still on edge but it was controlled now. Soap could see you trying to keep your composure as he watched you sketch the wildflowers, stopping to inspect them sometimes. You crouched down beside them as you take a closer look at the flower petals trying to understand their texture. Soap watches you with intrigue as he sees you imbed your emotions into every line on the paper.

"Say, why don't we make an exchange?". You look at him confused as he crouches down beside you.

"Ah will give ye some valuable info in exchange fur a drawing?"

"Valuable to whom?", you fire back.

"Ye'll find out once ye know", he gives you his best boyish smirk.

"I'll pass", you say standing up to move away from him. But he grabs your arm pulling you back towards him. You collide with his chest as he holds you close by your arms. He looks into your eyes deeply feeling your breath on his face as you look up at him shocked. All he could think about in that moment was smashing his lips onto your. Consuming the breath within your lungs as he pulled you against his body. But he knew you'd never give in so easily to him, so he controlled his urges. You two stay like that for a bit until he grabs you a little tighter when you try to escape his hold.

"Don't do that Bonnie", he says rubbing your arms up and down making you shiver from the unfamiliar touch. "Ah just haven't had a decent meal in a while, nae tae say yer sandwiches weren't lovely, they're just nae what ah typically feed aff", he says almost seeming innocent.

"Think o' it as feeding the ducks" he smiles genuinely down at you.

You gently pull away from him contemplating what he said. You could never refuse feeding someone when it was well within your means. You'd betray yourself if you did. You turn to a new page in your sketchbook thinking of what to draw. When a funny idea popped into your head. You draw a duck with a surprising likeness to him. You draw him with his signature mohawk feeding on a baguette. As you're finishing up the drawing you can't help but laugh to yourself at the absurdity of the drawing you were about to give him. Soap watches hold in a laugh as you draw, your walls not so high anymore. It was nice seeing you in this state. He wanted to see what you'd give him without him having to pour inspiration into you. He watches you move your pencil with intent and purpose creating something solely for him. You gingerly hand him the drawing when you were done trying to hide a mischievous smile on your face as you look at his reaction.

He takes the drawing not feeling any hooks imbed into him. You really were an anomaly. A hearty chuckle leaves his mouth as he finally looks at what you've given him. It was him in duck form chomping away at a baguette. You took his comment literally it seems. It's definitely the first time someone had drawn him in duck form, usually they prefer to draw his handsome face or toned body. He liked your mischievous side, it just gave him more incentive to want to 'punish' you. You smiled at his reaction thinking you did a good job at catching him off guard. Something warm settled in his stomach the longer he looked at the comical drawing. And seeing you smiled just made everything so much better.

"It's no Van Gogh but ah will gratefully accept it", he smiles to himself enjoying the moment.

The air suddenly shifts and your mood takes a sudden dip. Soap feels the change as he looks up from the paper. Your eyes are trained on your sister who is writing feverishly, you turn back towards him with hurt written on your face. Which you quickly mask with anger. The moment you two were sharing was quickly ruined.

"Let her go, I've already fed you", you say, keeping your voice eerily calm. But your magic was ready to attack him any second. You felt stupid for letting your guard down, especially knowing what kind of Fae he was. The air had shifted back to being that of anger and mistrust. Soap felt a sense of loss at the warmth he was just feeling a moment ago. He retreated back into his other persona, one that usually was very effective at putting fear in people. He put on a nonchalant air about himself as he simply nodded.

"Ah suppose ye'r right, ah will let her go today since ye wur so kind tae feed me", he says while withdrawing his magic from your sister.

You don't say anything else as you make your way towards her, she stops writing when you approach her and ask her if she's ok. She nods and says she just had a burst of inspiration she had to use to write down things for her screenplay. Soap not wanting to cause further tension decided to leave without saying goodbye to either of you. He tucked in the precious piece of paper he held into his jacket as he walked off. You watch him leave as your sister comes out of her daze. She immediately asks where he went and you tell her he had a personal emergency and had to leave. And that he had probably said goodbye to her but she might have not noticed it when she was in her 'writing zone'. She simply nods as you pack up the picnic and walk her back to her apartment. You ended up giving her the primroses telling her you forgot you didn't have any balcony room to keep more plants so it would be better if she kept them at her place. She was happy to receive the sweet smelling flower as you left to go back to your place.

You get home and unpack all your groceries as you decide what to bake for your best friend when you go visit her in an hour or two. You settle on blueberry muffins and go about your kitchen gathering ingredients. The baking served to calm you after your long stressful day. It took your mind off everything else as you focused solely on what you were doing. With the muffins in the oven you move toward the little gift you had bought your best friend, she would never let you pay for the tea or other things she would give you so you'd just leave her little gifts whenever you'd go to visit. This time you had found high quality saffron at the local spice shop. You thought it would come in handy in her spells if not she could use it in her cooking. You go to get some wrapping paper and ribbon to make the container look pretty and presentable. Once everything is done you pack the muffins away as you make your way to your car.

The drive over was relatively short since she didn't live too far away. But for some reason you felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt and sadness take over you. You stood at the front gate frozen for a few seconds not sure what to do anymore. The day was extremely taxing, especially trying to keep your magic in check. It was around four pm and the sun was still shining and the autumn leaves were swaying on the ground. You entered through the iron gate closing it behind you brushing off the slight sting. The wards engulfed you in an instant, like a warm hug from a loved one. Tears began streaming down your face uncontrollably. You finally felt safe again, not realising you were in flight or fight mode all this time. A warm feeling settled in your chest letting you know everything was going to be ok. You walk towards her front door on shaky legs. You knock twice waiting for her to open the door. You hear movement around the cottage and finally hear the door unlatch. She stares at you shocked, not expecting you to show up with red teary eyes. You stand a bit awkwardly trying to calm your tears as you hold up the container with muffins in it.

"I brought you muffins", you say shyly wiping your tears away. She just stares for a second trying to comprehend the situation that was unfolding in front of her.

"Your seal broke", she says finally ushering you in.

126 notes · View notes

creativepromptsforwriting · 1 year

Note

Hello, Jana! I have an idea for a fan fiction I plan to write, but I need tips on how to best write a self-insert story. I have many of the fears that many people have of writing self-insert fiction, namely making myself sound like a Mary Sue and making the story sound juvenile. How do I best write a self-insert story without making myself sound like a Mary Sue and alleviate my fears?

Hi my friend :)

That is a question I haven't got before, so I'll give you my advice with a longer "how to write" post.

How to write a self-insert fic

A self-insert fic refers to a piece of (fan)fiction that includes the author as an original character. The self-inserted OC is most likely the main character in the story or at least a key character.

A variation of this are Y/N fics that lets the reader put themself into the story. But those follow a few different rules.

Who is Mary Sue?

Mary Sue is originally a parody trope and refers to a character that is perfect and superior to the other characters. They often have more knowledge, more power, and are witty and good-looking. For self-inserted characters that means that the Mary Sue is the ideal version of the author themself.

The term Mary Sue can be used genderneutral, but there are also the names Gary Stu and Marty Sue for male characters.

How to write a good self-insert?

If you want to write for an audience then you can't just write down all your dream scenarios with yourself as the main character and ultimate love interest that has no flaws and still expect the reader to be invested and interested. Because interesting characters are just not perfect.

Here are some general tips for your story:

write your self-inserted character with flaws

give your character problems that can't easily be solved

don't write your character with omnipotence/omniscience (if you're not writing about gods in general)

write longer stories, that way the reader has time to get acquainted with your self-insert and gets invested like they already are with the other characters

write original story lines that will help to insert your character more naturally than taking a pre-existing plot and putting yourself in there

if you're writing yourself as a love interest, don't just make the fictional character instantly fall head over heels for you, work on their relationship, build a whole story around it

A few last words:

Writing yourself into stories was seen as juvenile and a bit cringy for a long time. But I do think that the sentiment is changing. You just have to create it as a serious story for your readers to take it serious. They are not just stories about young girls going to their favourite musician's concert and get immediately noticed and swept of their feet by the superstar. And even if they are than that is still a story worth writing for that author.

If you want other people to enjoy your self-insert fic then I think that my tips above will help you to create something that let's you be part of the story and still have an interesting story that garners attention and has an audience that will love it.

Good luck with your story, mein Liebling :)

- Jana

#rosegrl18 #ask #how to write #how to write a self-insert fic #self-insert #fanfiction #writing #writing advice #writing tips #writing help #writeblr #writing community #writers of tumblr

332 notes · View notes

thewritingofspencerrose · 7 months

Text

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

Vettel!OC x '23 grid, Vettel!OC x Mick Schumacher

the.eva.vettel

liked by mickschumacher, sebastianvettel, scuderiaferrari and 302,067 more

the.eva.vettel Papa, ich verspreche, deine Geschichte zu erzählen ❤️

Papa, I promise to tell your story❤️

sebastianvettel could not have wished for a better replacement after announcing my retirement ❤️

sebastianvettel so incredibly proud of you mein kind (my kid) ❤️

the.eva.vettel i'd be nowhere without your support papa ❤️

unknownfan1 does her mom not mind her only thanking her father??

unknownfan2 you must be new here. her mother left them when she was 6 months old.

charles_leclerc honored to race alongside yet another Vettel

maxverstappen1 seb already loves you, no reason to suck up now

ginaschumacher the entire family, including Dad, could not be more proud of you schwester (sister)

unknownfan3 SCHWSTER?? THAT MEANS SISTER?

unknownfan4 dude chill. the vettel's and schumachers have been close for years

liked by mercedesamgf1, sebastianvettel, the.eve.vettel and 578,112 more

mickschumacher i simply do not have the words to tell you how proud i am of you meine liebe (my love) 🤍

the.eve.vettel you have my whole heart liebling 🤍

sebastianvettel it brings me so much joy that michael's and my careers brought you two together as children

mickschumacher you have no idea how greatful i am for your daughter, seb

georgerussell63 lewishamilton look! the kid's being sappy again!

the.eve.vettel both of you knock it off, he's simply loving me

mickschumacher and how could i not?

danielricciardo oh this man is getting FANTASTIC sex tonight

sebastianvettel daniel ricciardo.

danielricciardo apologies seb, please don't scold me.

#the writing of spencer rose #original character #formula 1 fanfiction #f1 #sebastian vettel daughter #vettel!oc #mick schumacher x oc

49 notes · View notes

icouldntfindthedoor · 1 year

Text

On A Rooftop: König x Reader

So I’ll be honest, I had a very shitty Christmas and I wrote this to comfort myself. It was originally gonna be my oc and König but I decided to make it reader insert instead, just to see how I do.

Reader’s gender is never mentioned.

I also want to mention @itsagrimm for writing really helpful advice for German dialogue. I hope I got his accent correct. If not feel free to let me know so I can improve on it.

If you have any suggestions for fics, let me know. I’ll only be writing gender neutral/nonbinary, cis male or transgender reader fics because there’s already tons for cis female readers.

The cigarette hangs loosely between your fingers. It’s been a long time since you felt compelled to smoke, but after the night you had, you needed to feel the burn. You needed to feel anything else other than the dull ache that rippled throughout your body, the emptiness that ate at you. You tap the cigarette, dropping ash onto the concrete below. Here on the rooftop, the wind whips at your back and you tug your coat a little closer. The sky above is an inky black and seems to stretch on forever. You stare up at the empty sky, arms draped over the railing, your boot tapping against the ground, a nervous tick you never grew out of. Below you see the other soldiers going about their routines in the barracks, and you know you should hurry up and stub your cigarette out so you can carry on with yours, but you can’t find the will to move.

“Liebling?” A familiar voice sounds behind you.

You take a deep drag of your cigarette and exhale slowly, almost deflating before you speak. “Yeah?”

König hesitates before slowly approaching, his boot steps surprisingly soft against the concrete despite his towering height. You see him lingering in the corner of your eye, his black mask fluttering with the wind. If it weren’t for his helmet, it probably would’ve flown off by now. He lifts a hand, looking as though he’s about to touch you, before it drops.

“Geht es dir gut?” He asks.

You tap the cigarette again, and this time the ash lands on your boot. You shake it off. “Yeah,” you say, “Just tired.”

König’s head tilts to one side. His hands clench and unclench by his sides before he speaks again, “You’re not.”

You turn to look at him. Your boyfriend meets your eyes, and in the darkness they’re almost black, staring at you with an intensity you’ve never seen from another person before. But König is like that all the time, he’s a man constantly drawn tight like a bow string about to snap, his body rigid and always geared up for a fight. He charges into battle with a ferocity that’s almost terrifying, leaving you wondering if it’s going to be the last time you see him. Even when you’re alone together, like this, and hands wander and lips linger, he’s still so stiff, like he’s unable to relax completely, even with you. And you can’t deny that that stings, but it’s not what’s upset you tonight.

Your tongue runs over your teeth, debating on what to say. Your head dips, the cigarette spills more ash onto the ground. It’s almost a nub now.

“Do you have more of those?” König says, nodding at the cigarette.

You reach into your pocket and pull out the packet, along with your lighter. König takes one and pulls his mask off along with his helmet, setting them aside on some battered crates left out on the roof. He pops the cigarette into his mouth, holds the lighter close while covering it with his other hand to protect it against the wind, and flicks it on.

The light illuminates his features. High cheekbones, a slightly crooked nose, a square, stubbled jaw and a long, silvery scar that curls over his cheek and ends at his chin. His lashes are thick and dark and look stunning against the brief orange glow from the lighter. He’s a breathtaking man, your König, and as the flame goes out and he takes a deep, slow drag of the cigarette, you’re reminded of just how lucky you are.

You only wish your family could see that.

He breathes out the smoke, tickling your face with it. “You get annoyed when I say the same to you,” he says, “When I tell you I’m fine when I’m not.”

You drop your cigarette and stomp it out, just so you have something else to focus on. “I know,” you say.

He leans against the railing. The pose seems relaxed enough, but you can tell even in the dark that he’s tense, his arms folded over his chest, jaw clenching as he mulls over his words. “You came back from leave and didn’t seek me out,” he says.

You bite your lip, ducking your head again.

“When I called to ask how your family was, you dodged the question,” he continues, then looks over at you, brows furrowed, “I take it… There is not good news?”

You let out a shuddery sigh, your hands shaking against the railing. Your stomach churns as you think about what happened earlier that week.

“We… I’m not exactly on the best of terms with them right now,” you say tactfully. You watch as Soap strides across the courtyard, his bag slung over his shoulders and a huge grin splitting across his face when he spots Ghost lingering nearby. He’d been waiting for Soap for over two hours, but you doubt he’s going to tell Soap that. Still, watching Soap yank the taller man into a tight hug is a welcome distraction from your troubles. You wish your own family had welcomed you as warmly.

“I’m sorry to hear that, mein Schatz,” König says, his hand reaching to squeeze your shoulder. Even through his leather glove you feel the heat of him and it makes you shiver.

“I don’t want to go into it,” you say, because going into it means explaining that your family thinks König is a waste of time. That he’s not good enough for you, and more importantly, not good enough for them. Their blatant disregard for König as a person, despite everything he’s done for you, makes your blood boil and your stomach twist in knots.

“That’s fine,” König says, “You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

Your stomach turns again. You don’t know if you’ll ever be ready to tell König what happened. You clasp your hand over his own and hold him, taking a deep breath. “I love you,” you say.

He regards you curiously, one eyebrow lifts slightly. “Ich liebe dich auch. But you know that.”

“Yeah,” you say, giving him another squeeze, “It’s just nice to say it out loud sometimes.”

His expression softens. He moves closer, tossing his own cigarette aside so he can wrap his arms around you. His lips find yours, and you taste the smoke on his breath and the energy drink he’d downed earlier. It’s not exactly what you read about in love stories, but the taste is so distinctly König that it makes your head spin. You smell his minty shampoo and the gunpowder that clings to his uniform, feel his heat against your body as your lips roll gently over each other, nice and easy. His fingers cradle your face, his stubble scratching your skin. When he finally pulls away he leaves you feeling breathless, your entire body warm and floaty.

“Stay in my room tonight,” he says huskily, “Not to liebe machen, but so I can hold you.”

“You want to snuggle?” You say, a smile tugging on your lips.

“I want to snuggle.”

You kiss him again, your hands sliding over his waist. “Yeah. Let me grab a few things and I’ll meet you in your room.”

“Don’t be long, liebling,” König says with a smirk, taking a step back, “You know how I love your arms around me.”

He grabs his mask and helmet and throws them on before heading back inside. You exhale slowly, your heartbeat fluttering. It doesn’t matter what your family thinks, you decide, you know König is the right man for you. And someday, maybe, you’ll be a family of your own. You smile, warmth spreading through your chest.

Yeah. You’d like that a lot.

#könig #cod könig #konig x reader #fanfic #reader insert #gender neutral reader #my writing #writing #konig #cod fanfic #call of duty #call of duty reader insert #cod fandom

295 notes · View notes

riveramorylunar · 1 month

Text

Pairings: Viktoria Alaric (German OC) x Reader

Warnings: Forbidden Love, Professor x Student Relationship, Vampire Queen x Human Relationship, Blood Drinking, Alcohol Consumption, Age Difference (Reader is 19), Height Difference, Parties, Slight Sexual Content, Mind Reading, Possessiveness, Jealousy (From Viktoria), Obsession, Marking, Underage Drinking, Speaking In German & More

Pet Names/Nicknames: Liebling(Darling), Kleine Maus(Little Mouse), Herzblatt(Sweetheart), Schatz(Jewel), Angel & Vik

You can read it here. ↓

Started: 4/2/2024

Finished: ---

#lesbian romance #Lesbian #fantasy romance #fanfiction #Fantasy #Vampires #wlw #wlg #glg #OC #river's ocs #wattpad story #Wattpad Book #Professor x Student #teacher x student #vampire x reader #vampire x human #original character #The Art Professor

12 notes · View notes

ghouljams · 2 months

Note

King König: marry me pls

Gardener Leibling: no

It's a constant refrain. Sometimes you think he asks just to hear you say no to him. No one else tells the king "No", no one dares to even utter the word. You're free to sit in his bed, soft linen sheets pooling around your hips as you pick over the recent requests for different flowers in the garden. The papers brought precisely to the king's suite, and not your little hovel. You should be more annoyed that your papers are being sent to König's rooms and not to your home, but it is rather convenient.

König drags his fingers up and down your spine, the rough calloused skin against your own much softer figure makes you want to squirm away. You hold you ground, as you always do. You don't have to pay him any more attention than you want, but you still find him consuming your awareness. You know he's still laying against the pillows, know that he has an arm under his head, know that he watches you like a hunter watches their prey. You know too that his chest is covered in scratches, hidden under dark hair, and that if you decided to abandon your work for another round of pleasure he would not deny you.

"You'll have a secretary to do that if we marry," König offers. You huff, dip your quill in the ink pot precariously balanced on the bed beside you, and make a quick note in the margins of the request letter to look into seed vendors.

"I enjoy my work," You remind him, "and I don't want to marry you."

"I'm not asking Liebling," He tries, his hand splaying wide on the small of your back.

"And I don't care," You tell him as firmly as you think necessary, "I'm not interested."

His hand leaves you with a sigh, you almost miss it, he's trying to make you miss it. "You're so cruel to me," König hums. You hear the rustle of fabric as he sits up. Your hand darts to keep the ink pot from tipping over, raising it off the duvet you twist and settle it on the bedside table. König's turns you back towards him, his fingers holding your chin tight. He tips his head, studying you. "Marry me," he implores. You give him a bored look.

"No."

"Tyrant," He smiles, leaning in to kiss you, you turn so he catches the corner of your mouth, and feel his teeth as his smile widens, "You'd make a perfect queen."

"I'd be bored to death," You reason.

"Oh Liebling," König coos, "I'm sure something else would kill you first."

#cod x reader #x reader #x oc #cod x oc #könig x reader #König x oc #könig cod #könig mw2 #könig call of duty #konig x reader #f!reader #oc: liebling #medieval au

619 notes · View notes

fandomxo00 · 1 month

Text

X-Men First Class: Part 1 - Erik Lehnsherr, Magento

word count: 1.2k

pairings: Erik Lehnsherr x Nadine!OC

warnings: smut, 18+, unedited.

You watched Erik who was busy focusing on spinning a quarter between his fingers. He is staring intently at the wall that had pictures of those Erik was hunting down, along with a map of where they were in the world. You leant against the bathroom door in only your towel as you watched the cogs in Erik's brain work as he planned. You watched his anger rise; you didn't have to read his mind to know. The quarter weaved through his fingers quickly before he flicked his finger towards the wall and the quarter hit Klaus Schmidt's picture.

"How are you feeling my love?" You questioned.

"Splendid, Liebling, just a tad bit vengeful." Erik replied. You bit at your lip as Erik sighed before pushing himself off the bed and walking over to you. His arm reached for you as your eyes connected with his. Erik catches your bottom lip with his thumb.

"You know how I feel when you do that." You murmured, offering him a soft smile before leaning forward to nip at his thumb.

A smirk breaks out on Erik's face as his hand moves up to cup your cheek before softly kissing you. Erik backs you up against the wall, his tongue slipping past your lips while he cradled your face. Then he spun you around, squishing your front side to the wall while his lips connected with your neck. His hands snaked up your body before letting the towel start to fall as he cupped your breasts. You arch your back as he grinds his hips into your ass. You close your eyes as you take in his want for you. Erik attacked your neck with his lips and squeezed your body to his.

"Nadine, you always feel so good against me." He whispered into your ear, making a whine fall from your lips. A dark chuckle tumbled out from Erik making a shiver run down your spine. He continued to grind against you, the outline of his cock felt on your back. He was focused on the way you were making him feel as leant back further. "Lay back, Liebling." You moved back against him and his hand bunches up the towel that was hanging by a thread. You slowly spread your thighs, his large veiny hand trailing up your thighs. Erik lightly cupped your sex before his two fingers found your clit. Erik knew he could play you like an instrument, knew what strings to pull, where exactly to kiss. An airy moan fell from your mouth as you naturally relaxed against him. "There you go."

Erik didn't know what it was about you, but you lit something alive in him. You calmed his intense anger and always supported him even when he did something wrong. You didn't blindly follow him, but you trusted him and all he wanted to do was bury himself in you. Erik completely absorbed you, taking your attention, your body, your love, and taking it all as his own. His lips sealed over your pulse point, making your heartbeat louder. You felt his erection throb against you as he dipped a finger into you.

"Feel so tight round my fingers." Erik croaked as he started to roughly fuck you with his fingers. Your legs started to feel like jelly before he slipped out of you. You breathed out shakily, turning to look at him expectantly, as he backed away from you.

"Erik." You start, walking towards him, your crazied towel falling to the floor and making you flush.

"I like that better." He commented, sitting down on the bed, widening his legs and leaning back. Erik lifted an eyebrow, an intriguing smile on his face. He lifted a finger and waggled it at you. You felt your flush move to your chest, trying to keep your heat under control. You moved towards Erik, giving him a shy look as you stepped between his legs.

This wasn't the first time that Erik had seen you naked, but he had barely touched you and you were a mess for him. His hands find your hips, pulling you closer, his baby blue eyes on yours. Erik's hands move up the flesh and curve of your stomach to your breasts. His large hands moving up to cup your breasts, the flesh spilling out of his hands. Your nipples hardened against his grip and he groaned at the feeling.

Erik's hand moves to your neck, you jutt your chin baring your neck to him as he lovingly caresses your cheek. "So beautiful." You blushed deeper, as he moved to kiss you. Your arms move around his shoulder as you balance yourself on his thighs. You lower yourself on his lip and swallow his moans as you come in contact with his hard cock. Erik flips you on your back in a swift movement before he stands up straight to undo the tie of his robe and let it fall free to show him in his entirety. You glanced up at him, sitting up and reaching out of this member. He was concentrated your movements and when you came in contact with his member, he shivered.

You breathed out shakily leaning forward to spit on the tip of his jock, he jerked in your hands as you rubbed your saliva down his length. HIs concentration started to wan as he leant back his head and enjoyed your ministrations. Your head moved forward, needy for him as you wrapped your lips around him. Erik lets out a deep breath collecting himself before looking down at you with dilated cerulean eyes. His hand meets your damp and tucks it behind your ear. "Such a good girl, show me how much you want it." Your moans vibrate around him, making him groan lowly as you began to take him further. "Greedy little thing." he commented as you start to gag on him. His hand moved from delicately holding your hair and wrapping his hand around your hair into a makeshift ponytail, before shoving his cock down further. Your thighs squeeze together as you look up at your blurry lover, his eyes burning into you as tears brimmed to your eyes. He pulls you off of him letting you catch your breath.

"I'm not done." You stated.

"You are when I say so, now spread those pretty legs." You couldn't help but burn up a bit at his words before leaning back on your elbows and spreading your legs for Erik. His hand comes up to your throat squeezing both sides as his other hand went to his cock. He began to play with your folds, feeling the wetness on the tip of his cock. Then he was harsh as he forced you against the bed. "So wet...You want this so bad don't you?"

"Y-yes Erik."

Erik stared down into your eyes as he slid into your wetness, finally connecting the two of you. You grabbed at his shoulders, your nails making little intents in his skin as he bottomed out in you. His arms moved to either side of your head as his cock left you before filling you up again. You moaned out softly, he moved down to his elbows as he connected your lips in a passionate kiss.

#erik lehnsherr #erik lensherr x reader #micheal fassbender #eriklehnsherr #erik lehnsherr x reader #magneto #xmen

17 notes · View notes

youlikefanficdontyousquidward · 9 months

Text

Little less than super, soldier

Part 3

First / Previous / Next

Summary: The group are off to Riga but Sam is growing concerned with you.

Zemo X OC (but written an reader insert in-case you wanna play in the space. backstory linked in part one ✌)

Warnings:

beruhige dich - calm down

liebling - darling

Back on the jet you kept your eyes closed. Bucky was tense, Sam on the phone but you knew it was coming soon. Arguments were bound to kick off any moment. Whether it was towards you or Zemo now was your only question.

Still you weren't going to force it sooner than it had to come and stayed sat slumped low, pretending to sleep. Thankfully Sam seemed more concerned about other things at the moment and hadn't noticed.

He talked in hushed sharp tones to Bucky and it seemed like they were arguing with one another instead. Zemo returned from where ever he was hiding away. You felt his steps approaching and stopping by you. He placed something on the chair in front of you before continuing down to Sam and Bucky. Sam seemed to have gotten a location from his friend over the phone and you used the distraction to peak out.

A meal was served on the chair ahead of you. It smelt pretty amazing for food made in a foot wide kitchen so you decided you'd wake. Stretching you groaned. Healed eyes opening slowly to look around, Zemo shot you a short smile before returning to Sam.

You ate as you watched Sam's expression shift, eyes darting to Bucky at Zemo's veiled threat to Karli. You gritted your teeth as the tension that concerned you only seemed to rise.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He'd been especially shocked to see your broken body when he'd dragged you from the crate and worse still when you gritted your teeth as he pulled the glass. So you could still feel pain. This was distressing news to him. Sam and Bucky couldn't possibly be okay with you doing this right? Unless they had been unaware of the pain you'd endure for them.

He'd admit to himself he'd grown rather fond of you and he'd wager you were growing fond of him too. Of all his companions on this adventure you were still the best shot at an ally. Especially considering the look of disdain you'd given the scientist's corpse. Still you and Sam seemed closest. He'd have to drive that wedge to separate the two of you.

Zemo had snuck off to read the file he'd uncovered while preparing food on the plane later. Now if he was going to get you from them he'd need more to go off of than he had. Things about you cleared up rather quickly, despite the scant information. Though he couldn't help the way his heart sank.

10, you'd been 10 when HYDRA had Barnes take you. Years of experimentation, the serum, more torture, a disappearance, then Sokovia. You seemed to have been last seen there until the Avengers found you again. So you had been there when...he shook the thought. He already knew his answer. Still it put into focus what James had said, an invested interest indeed.

Then during the blip you'd reappeared and outed your abilities to them. You'd given yourself up to Natasha Romanov and started walking into dangerous areas to preform tasks for them. Seemed they'd really taken use of that before you left. Now the government seemed to have some interest in finding you again. It was a huge risk you were taking coming here for Sam just to play meat shield for him.

Zemo's jaw ticked and his eye flitted around the HYDRA profile again. You were younger here and wore the feared expression one he'd recognized from before. Now he'd realized it was aimed more directly than he'd considered. You thought he'd hate you for what HYDRA did to you. He supposed he might have if it weren't for your disposition.

There was a note to staff at the bottom, listing a subject number instead of a name. He wondered briefly if Y/n was your original name before continuing, it didn't matter anyway. You went by y/n so that was your name as far as he was concerned.

"Advised caution, subject is violent, lashes out when touched, do not engage in personal contact with subject..." Zemo's lip curled. You had seemed rather adverse to contact before Madripoor. He'd seen the way you shifted and moved to avoid even bumping the others. Still you'd bared it for the sake of the mission.

Although you had seemed to move closer to him of your own accord. Even when it hadn't been necessary. Perhaps touch starved? You'd certainly calmed under his hand in front of Selby. A theory for another time he supposed.

Zemo abandoned the file with Oeznik, giving him an appreciative nod before heading back into the cabin. You were slumped, resting as he placed your meal on his chair. He let his eyes linger on your face, even at rest you seemed troubled.

He shifted down to join Sam and Bucky, the smell must have roused you as you shifted up, stretching. He was briefly glad you'd returned back into your own clothing. Though he scolded himself for eyeing you. He caught your eyes and Zemo forced a smile to you. Couldn't let on what he knew just yet.

Zemo enjoyed the walk to his apartment once they'd arrived in Riga even if the city had changed. He noted your tense form relaxing as you stumbled after the group. Your eyes glued to the buildings or cobble streets as you took in the scenery with dazzled eyes.

It was a good time to poke the bears, bringing up Sokovia to Sam and Bucky. They'd be in a small space soon and there was no doubt they were pissed with him. He'd shot that scientist after all and there was no way that agreed with Sam's moral sensibilities. Better to start engaging them now on his terms and maybe build some justification.

"I don't suppose any of you bothered visiting the memorial?" He paused but neither Sam nor Bucky spoke.

"It was beautiful..." You murmured from the back. Zemo glanced back to you but your eyes were still on the buildings. He hadn't meant you but he noted the misty look in your eyes. It hit like a punch to the gut.

Zemo led you and Sam into his building. Again spying the way you shot a frown at Barnes when he broke off from the group. If his plan was working you were suspicious of James now and growing closer to himself. It'd be risky to engage his plan too soon, he needed to be sure it'd drive a wedge at the right time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You'd found yourself on edge again. Bucky had wandered off alone, Zemo had gone to the bathroom and you were alone with Sam. Normally you'd not have minded that so much but the way he looked at you made you twitch.

Was there judgement in his eyes? Was he angry at you for following Zemo at the shipyard? Did he not trust you anymore? Was he going to give you over? Flight or fight kicking in your lip began to curl. Anger rising in you until you snapped and slammed your hands on the table.

"What Sam!? What?" You snapped rising to stalk across the room at him.

"It's just..." he began, sighing before crossing the room slowly to stand closer to you. Sam always had this ability to see you when you were trying so hard to hide. He could read you so well and he knew to be calm and let you cool off.

"I'm just concerned with how much you've had to take on already." He started in a low tone and you felt the anger wash away in an instant. Of course, of course he wasn't mad at you, disappointed maybe but not angry, not Sam. His hand raised, fighting an urge to console you perhaps? He knew better even though you ached for it.

"I'm not fragile." You bit, meeting his gaze with resolve.

"I know..." He started pausing as two doors opened. "Just be careful with him okay?" Sam whispered before greeting Bucky.

Be careful with Bucky? He had been acting off since Madripoor. You considered this as you sat back on the sofa, toying with the jewellery you'd kept from then. Maybe he wasn't really sorted, maybe this brought too much back to him as well.

You turned to watch Zemo exit the bathroom, wet hair pushed back and in a robe. You couldn't help but ogle him a little, though you caught yourself and turned to stare into space. Still you watched him in your peripherals. He passed Sam as Bucky told all of you about the Wakandans arrival. Zemo poured two crystal glasses before placing one on the table by you. He didn't look to you, just kept walking and talking.

You stared at the drink a moment before taking the glass and having a sip. You'd tried drowning sorrows before but this stuff tasted too nice for that. Instead you gave another sip as you watched tensions rise again and tried to ignore the way it sent a pressure through your skull.

"Hey, you shut it. No one's defending you. You killed Negal" Sam snapped. He wasn't wrong, though you couldn't find it in yourself to care an awful lot about that man. Karli concerned you more. She was just a kid, trying to do the right thing but was caught in this mess regardless. You prayed Sam could reach her but if she kept this up, how could this end?

Though that compassion soured at Bucky's words, you took your glass and stood coming over to read his phone. Karli bombed a building with people inside and was threatening more. You tried to remain passive but your hand came to your mouth to cover the gasp at the sight.

"I have the will to complete this mission, do the three of you." Zemo said, eyes landing on you last. Your throat bobbed. Surely Sam was right, she was so young, there had to be more to this right?

Zemo spouted off about super soldiers, trying to convince him. Your mind still reeling at the burning building you'd seen. Three people dead.

"It's that warped aspiration that led to Nazis, to Ultron, to the Avengers, even to your sweet Y/n's childhood." he ended. Sam's voice rising to silence him.

"Hey you leave them out of this!" He got between you and Zemo. Not that he needed to, you were frozen in place. Bucky stared at you, the guilt washing over him as your breath quickened. How did he know?

"You think Karli wouldn't force the serum on some young ones, make her own child army? HYDRA tried it, why not her?" Zemo continued. Your breath shaking as he continued.

"Stop." You whispered behind Sam as your grip tightened on the glass.

"Or are you just okay with that? After all you let your y/n take on all your pain for you." He continued level voice.

"Stop." You tried to force your voice out but it remained strangled in your throat. The glass cracking in your fingers as your eyes shot around from Zemo to Bucky and Sam.

"She doesn't even feel pain," Bucky tried to interject but you saw Zemo's bemused face turn to him.

"Is that what she told you." He began.

"Stop!" You screeched as the crystal finally broke in your grip and you winced. All eyes turned to your tear stricken face. You hadn't even noticed them start to fall but they wouldn't stop now. Not with the pain still searing through your palm. Bucky looked pained to you as he desperately searched your features for a lie.

"Y/n..." Sam began as he stepped towards you. The pity laden voice only driving a fury through you.

"Like any of you would care if it did!" You raged throwing your hands back. The shards dug deeper than you'd expected and a splatter of blood hitting the tile shocked you. You turned to face the window and tried to hide your pained expression. Your breathing wouldn't settle and you couldn't quell the anger that surged in you.

It wasn't Sam's fault, he was concerned and that was okay. You tried to remind yourself but it didn't help much. You'd started that lie yourself as a way of trying to ease everyone around you into letting you help. It wasn't his fault he believed you.

Still you could only imagine the fresh anguish Bucky must feel now. He'd only seemed to lighten around you after he'd thought he hadn't done as much harm as he had.

You settled somewhat when Zemo switched back to Karli, still set in his motivation to kill her. Though you couldn't help the thundering in your chest. You ignored the rest of their conversation instead remaining frozen staring at the intricate tile instead.

Sam remained by you though Bucky seemed to shift to the other side of the room. You listened back in again they'd search for Donya's funeral. Bucky followed Zemo into one of the other rooms, leaving you alone with Sam.

"Why didn't you tell me." He asked. He looked pained and you couldn't find it in yourself to lie about it.

"Because you'd make that face." You sighed. You leaned back in the wall, screwing your eyes shut. Still the pitied look seemed burned into your retina and you hated him for it.

"Look we're gonna head out shortly, try find some leads." Sam began as you made to raise. "Maybe you'd better just stay here."

"What? No, I'm here to help." You protested, standing away from the wall.

"You are helping y/n" He spoke and you frowned. "Just rest up, I'll call if we get something okay?"

You stewed in their absence, mind reeling over the conversations. Your heart felt too heavy in your chest. Your sure Sam didn't mean to hurt you but Zemo on the other hand was another thing. How had he found out? You suppose it was technically all out there, an intelligence operative wouldn't have too hard a time finding it.

You dealt with your hand and the blood then showered as you tried to push it from your mind. You padded alone in the flat slipping into a silky t-shirt you'd found in one of the bedrooms. It was warm here, so you stayed in your shorts, wandering around the space restlessly.

You liked spending time with him and he was being kind to you but you weren't sure if you should align yourself with him. Surly when push came to shove he'd throw you to the wolves? He'd already told the others your secrets. Though would he have known they were secrets? Was he just trying to hit a nerve for them?

You couldn't tell who was friend or foe anymore if anyone was either.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zemo and the others tried not to startle you as they came in. He could tell by the way Bucky stomped up the stairs and started speaking loudly to Sam that that was a concern.

He entered the apartment loudly with them and headed towards the kitchen. He'd always loved staying here before. The light had a way of hitting the stained glass in the evening that sent colours dancing around the room. He hoped you'd be around when that happened.

Though it was very likely his wedge move had backfired tremendously. Sure he knew it'd be risky and it certainly drove you from Sam but now it might have driven you from him too. You'd certainly been upset with him and he'd greatly disliked how that had made him feel. He'd need to make amends somehow.

You stood in the kitchen, knuckles white on the counter but your hand unfurled as they spoke softly about the mission. It was hard for him to keep an ear out for the conversation between Sam and Bucky. His attention was glued to his sleep shirt hanging from your frame.

"That's mine." He smirked, delighted at the slight pink dusting on your cheeks. You looked down and tugged the garment. He could see some anguish still washing around under your forced passive facade. But it was the redness in your eyes that pushed him over the edge.

"I'm sorry about before." He apologized. "I was angry about their resolve, I shouldn't have brought you into it. Is your hand alright?"

He watched intently as you pulled a pink lip between your teeth, deliberating, before you nodded and showed him your palm. He remembered what he still had in his pocket, producing a couple wrapped turkish delights.

"Here, proper ones from Sokovia. I hope you can forgive me." He pushed and placed a few in your up turned palm. He was right and your eyes seemed to light up just a little at his offering.

"I haven't had any since..." You finally met his gaze with a slight smile. It was still pained but it was a start.

"Tea?" He offered trying to ignore your warm body by him as you unwrapped and ate your treat. Your hair was still wet and you smelled like his soap. It was not helping with his focus on the situation.

"Sure, thanks Zemo. Do you want this back?" You nodded, pulling at the garment.

"No, no. You keep it, suits you better." He smiled to you as you smoothed it back down. "And please, it's Helmut." He added.

"Thank you Helmut." You reiterated looking up at him. God he liked the way it sounded coming out your lips. He was almost glad when your attention returned to Sam and Bucky. Helmut watched you head over to them, padding silently on the tile. Even Bucky hadn't seemed to notice your approach until you passed into his field of vision.

His heart panged again at the realization. Between the way you moved and your performance in Madripoor, HYRDA had trained you. He didn't like the image it conjured, a kid not much older than his son had been going through that. Still there was work to be done and knowing you, you'd want that serum gone sooner rather than later too.

He approached the group, Bucky forcing his hand to reveal his leverage. He knew where the funeral was going to be held. To his continued pleasure you didn't react much to his withholding the information.

Barnes approached, smashing his tea cup against the wall.

"You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?" He snarled. Zemo remained composed, allowing Sam to come in and calm the man. It worked and James backed off with Sam. Zemo turned catching you now standing behind him wide eyed. You gave him a nod before resetting and picking up your teacup, your eyes following Barnes.

When had you rose? Where you going to intervene on his behalf? He smirked to himself, taking another teacup and sitting by your side. The wedge had been perfectly placed, even better than anticipated. He not only had driven a wall between you and them but gained your allyship. Still Barnes was unpredictable, he pondered whether he'd have to deal with him too after this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was decided you were leaving with them to go to the funeral. Sam and Bucky seemed to hesitate not liking the idea but relented. You didn't like what this trip seemed to be doing for your relationship to them. Still you came to help and you wouldn't be left behind again.

You eyed Bucky as you left. He seemed more or less normal now but the flash of anger before concerned you. Between that and the revelation about your pain you worried greatly about him.

You'd barely crossed the street when a voice shouted to the group. That new Captain guy? What the hell was he doing here. You slunk back behind Helmut, hoping against hope he'd not recognize you.

"You can start by telling us why you broke him out of prison." The guy demanded before his eyes caught sight of you too. "And you found Y/n! SWORD wants them back in the US now!" He continued screaming. Shit.

"He did that himself, technically and they're...." Bucky started.

"This better be an unbelievable explanation." He continued forward making a bee line for yourself and Helmut. In a flash of panic you grabbed his hand as Sam held the guy back from you both. Helmut's thumb stroked yours for just a moment and you fought back the heat rising in your cheeks.

"I know where Karli is" Helmut stated, hand shifting from yours to your arm, half hidden behind Sam. You calmed looking down at his fingers still grounding you, before Helmut started walking straight past new Cap with you in tow. You shot Sam a confused look, hastily stumbling to keep pace. Guess you were all working together now?

The whole way John grumbled to his partner Lamar. The cooler headed man talked him into trying it Sam's way. He kept cursing shooting glares to you and Helmut. He'd taken his hand from you but he remained close. You couldn't help but take some comfort in it. Things definitely weren't over with John and you'd have to escape quick when this was done.

You'd barely entered the building when John grabbed Helmut, pressing him against the large oven door. Helmut joked to the man and rolled his eyes.

"I don't think that's...." You could barely react before Lamar took your arm too. You tried to fight back, struggling against his grip but then John was on you too, shoving you back against the metal door roughly.

"Hey wait!" You panicked out, afraid to draw attention to the group. You could hear Helmut say something to John in a harsh whisper but the sudden rushing in your ears was drowning it out. It didn't subside even when John's body was no longer crushing against your own, a pressure building behind your eyes.

"Hey you don't need to do that." You heard Sam hiss. No no no no! You pulled and the cuff clinked against the metal bar uselessly as your panic built. You looked desperately to Sam, as he approached John.

"They're a fugitive Sam. You forget that working with these criminals?" John waved an arm towards Helmut.

"Sam! Please I can't be like this please, I'll stay just don't..." You'd already began tearing up, breath heavy.

"I'm sorry." Sam looked hurt before turning to negotiate time with John. 10 minutes was all he got and he was gone. You cursed, hurling threats now at John, anger flaring in you. How could he just leave you here? You looked wide eyed to Bucky. He grimaced but didn't move to help. You didn't scream though the frustration was building as you continued to tug on the cuff, skin scarping off in layers.

"beruhige dich" Helmut whispered, his voice quiet but cutting through to you. You looked over to him as he stood calmly with his own wrist dangling cuffed. You tried to settle yourself by breathing in low deliberate breaths as you turned a glare to John.

He unsettled you again when he began pacing around, muttering to himself. His path veered too close and you flinched away. The metal clanking drew everyone's eyes. Bucky tried to calm him but he charged passed him and cursing Bucky and Lamar followed.

You couldn't calm yourself again. Adrenaline coursing, breathing becoming rapid as you tugged your hand firmly. You needed to get out to escape. Again and again you pulled, the raw red dripping doing nothing to stop your frantic movements. You'd gnaw it off if you had to.

"Hey, hey!" Cool gloved hands cupped your cheeks, stilling you in a moment, one moved to your hand. Helmut smiled at you, cool gloved thumb rubbing tears from your cheek. "Your not trapped leibling"

The cuff opened and you pulled your bloodied hand to your chest. It stung as you swiped the tears with you other hand. You didn't want to cry in front of him, your heart felt too raw around him.

"Another second and you'd break your thumb." he quipped but his smile looked strained. You tried to smile back regardless as he tilted his head back, standing straight. "Head back, I'm going after them."

He moved to leave but you found your hand gripping his coat sleeve again.

"Not alone." You moved following him. Helmut said nothing just nodding as you jogged into the building by his side. You didn't know what his plan here was but you didn't want him or any of the others there without you. Not with all those serum fueled people around.

Helmut rushed ahead, rounding a pipe and shooting. You heard a girl yell ahead, pausing at the sight ahead. Helmut had his gun raised, pointed at the crumpled form of a young girl. Fuck how old was Karli?

Your mind reeled watching Zemo stalk after her, you followed behind. He shot again and again, Karli ducking behind a table. Each shot you flinched, until your eyes were caught by the blue vials on the ground.

"Is this what I think it is?" Zemo asked. You were sure it was, the same blue fluid you had nightmares filled with. In a moment Helmut began shattering the vials, Karli forgotten.

She met your eye from her hiding spot, you flicked your chin and watched as she scrambled away. Your eyes shot back to Helmut as Captain America's shield bashed into his head.

"Helmut!" You shrieked, coming forward before you met John's eyes. He stalked forward, a predatory quality that sent you stumbling back over your feet. He watched you on the floor before he assessed the broken vials. He stepped away from you and you scrambled over to Helmut.

His body was limp and crumpled to the floor. You took his head in your hands letting it rest on your thigh as you check for his pulse. It thumped gently under your fingers and you breathed a sigh of relief. Before you could help you looked up again only for red, white and blue to fill your vision.

Then you awoke in the flat, beautiful warm lights dancing across the tiles. You groaned sitting up, headache clearing fast and your neck stiff.

"Christ y/n." Sam appeared by your side, hands hovering around you as you stood. He let himself grip your elbow when you wobbled a little. "He almost took your head clean off with that thing." He spoke softly.

"Yup my neck was definitely broken" you groaned. Though you knew it'd likely been worse to knock you out for so long, severed spinal cord maybe? You looked around the room. The setting sun cast light in beautiful patches of colour around the space. "Wow this place is pretty." you breathed out. You heard a light chuckled from the other seat.

"Yes probably knocked a few screws loose." Helmut smirked up at you from behind a towel on his head. You frowned at his prone body, cup of whisky being nursed on his chest. Sam left you to return to the computer and you headed towards Helmut.

You stood over him a moment, until he peaked again from under his cold press. You took a brief inhale before letting your shaking hand raise. Helmut stilled, frozen bellow you as your fingers brushed hair from his forehead.

You felt the pain shifting in your own head as his eyes widened at you. Whatever injury sustained shifted from him to you in those moments. Your finger tips seemed to buzz where they touched him.

"...sorry, I should have..." You whispered before escaping over to the kitchen. It felt safer there, the breakfast bar between you and everyone else. This trip was really taking real toll. It was more proximity, more intimacy than you'd had in years and you needed some kind of wall. Something to hold everyone back.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Helmut rubbed his head. The pain was gone entirely and you'd left rubbing your own head. He could hardly help the desire to follow after you but had resisted. You'd retreated and he'd respect that. He'd like to have thanked you for that or at least voiced some appreciation for you coming to assist him.

Zemo felt his eyes snap to you again as Walker barged in. The rush of fear evident as he powered forward, shield in hand. Helmut could empathize at least, that thing hurt. Still he wasn't surprised when your body shifted around into the room, edging towards the group. Pain be damned you'd protect your own.

Sam had stepped forward to reason with Walker and Lamar, James approaching to back him up. You moved slow, barely perceptibly in his peripherals until you were just in front of him. He could've sung, Walker had his shield but now Zemo had his own.

Still he'd been glad not to actually see Walker break your neck the first time round. Though carrying your broken body back had been an awful experience. Each step he was sure you'd wake and the longer it took the more it he grew concerned you wouldn't. He'd give the man hell for that.

You flinched back against him before he heard it, the spear crashing into the column between Sam and Walker. Seemed the odds were quickly turning against you both.

The Dora Milaje were here and even with your healing this was a fight no one here could win. Still it was amusing to watch them beat the crap out of Walker. Some vengeance at least but when Bucky joined he saw his out. The whole group was descending into a fight and thoroughly distracted.

He'd backed to the open bathroom doors before touching your hand. You turned to him slow, eyes darting behind then back to meet his own. It was a little risk, you could alert them but he wanted you to leave with him. You'd need an out too and Walker seemed set on your capture too.

You tipped your chin to the door, gesturing him to leave. Helmut paused, frowning before his eyes pleaded with you for a moment longer. You smiled and took his fingers for a second.

"I can't leave Sam here." your whispered, voice barley audible as you more mouthed the words. You let go and with that Zemo back in closing the doors slowly. You gave him a last sad smile before turning back to the violence still ongoing and Zemo left.

#helmut zemo #zemo x reader #little less than super soldier #my fics #the falcon and the winter soldier

27 notes · View notes