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statementlou · 10 months

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hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?

ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever

#I did start to try to deep dive before I realized it was too much #but I was reminded that when Louis was doing txf as a judge while fizzy was struggling #many people thought he had been pressured somehow into it; later when we knew what had been going on people were like #oh maybe he just wanted to be close to home to deal with fizzy stuff or somethng #but also: keeping fizzy stuff quiet would potentially be the info we didn't have at that time that could answer that q too of what they use #given the DW🤝simon jones🤝simon cowell cursed connections #(for the newbies: simon jones aka DWs bestie is Louis' publicist for no apparent reason even now long after he has gotten free of the rest #of the modest/syco/simon cowell shitshow)#anyway another example of story trading in our fandom is zayn's baby sister's teen pregnancy #which was known to the fandom early on but kept super quiet by respectful fans- during this time Z did some unprecedented actual interviews #for no obvious reason #and then iirc pretty much the day she turned 17 a very lowkey article reported on her marrying her bf and mentioning a pregnancy #but as if it was recent not like 7 months along #and even when she gave birth soon after it was all kind of... glossed over and around and not reported until a little later #blah blah blah #I felt like it was weird to talk about this for some reason but when I thought about it #I don't know if it matters. Like maybe talking about him not being a dad and being gay or whatever at all is bad #but assuming we're doing that anyway. why not talk about the struggles around that #and the creeps holding it over his head #dan wootton

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charizardstolemynickname · 5 months

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Jimmy Solidarity just gave me a heartattack by mentioning tumblr

Please sir, never again, pretend we aren't here

#he was so casual about it like “Oh i am not on tumblr but apparently tumblr exploded”#LIKE SHUSH?? WHO SNITCHED??#we were in fact not normal about the canary curse break BUT YOU SHOULDN'T KNOW THAT #chr post #jimmy solidarity #aka my worst enemy. basically my nemesis #secret life #just adding it there because it was a stream talking about secret life #and my tags do spoil secret life #secret life spoilers #BUT GUYS!!!#CANARY CURSE!! HE BROKE IT!!!! WOOOOOO #PARTYYYYYY!#canary curse #i have only watched 20 odd minutes of the stream so far but so much has happened #SKIZZ AND TANGO MENTION?! PLATEUP SOON?! SOMEONE ACCUSING JIM OF BEING A FURRY??#i am loving life here (except when he mentioned us. don't do that again)

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cluescorner · 3 days

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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".

*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.

*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-

Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-

Arlecchino: Ok.

Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?

Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.

*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*

Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????

Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.

#arlecchino #genshin impact #pierro #WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty #I'm so fucking confused #Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP #She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking #care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to #prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different #she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm #IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS #That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you #shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around #so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines #kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it #she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to #the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff

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egginfroggin · 3 months

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Crowned.

This was supposed to be significantly simpler, but then backgrounds and crowns happened.

Frankly, I rather like how it came out, excessive effort aside.

Anyway, I hope you all have a very good, blessed night. <3

(Program: Krita; time taken: about 2 hr 45 minutes)

#subway boss ingo #submas #iced tracks #eggin creatin'#so can you tell it's a frozen au #I did this in one sitting how #also *points* I hated doing that snowflake but at least it looks decent #hol up I just realized that this is about the right dimensions for a lock screen or something #huh #*slaps ingo* this king can fit so many curses and suppressed emotions in him #gold-speckled eye what gold eye foreshadowing we don't know her no not at all haha #and look! he has an exaggerated collar! :D #anyway uhhhhh here you go

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epickiya722 · 9 days

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Anybody talks about Yuji being amazing in the last couple of chapters.

"Yuta is still stronger."

CAN HE NOT HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT?! LIKE, DAMN! LIKE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK?! LIKE YUJI FANS REALLY CAN'T SAY "Yuji's doing so great" WITHOUT SOMEONE BRINGING YUTA UP?!

#yuta dipped out 5 chapters ago #rocking yuji's mom's haircut...#i love him but damn some of his fans be annoying as hell #yuji fans don't even be bringing up other characters like that to glaze him #like we know yuta is strong he's related to damn gojo!!#BUT YUJI OUT HERE FIGHTING THE DAMN KING OF CURSES WITH BLACK FLASHES LEFT AND RIGHT LOCKED IN AND THAT'S HIS FUCKING UNCLE!!#LIKE AT LEAST YUTA AIN'T GOT A FAMILY MEMBER WHO HATES HIM!! AND AIN'T FROM A FUCKED UP FAMILY DAMN!! GOT A WHOLE LITTLE SISTER!!#Don't know about his parents though #HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO EAT HIS FAMILY MEMBERS!!#just kiya's thoughts #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #itadori yuji #yuji itadori #yuuji itadori #itadori yuuji

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alumirp · 5 months

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Flying Low

A magical AU where Law is a raven shapeshifter, but has had his wings torn off, so he is always using a cane to balance himself and he lives in seclusion in the forest. He absolutely doesn't trust, well, anyone. Whether humans or other shapeshifters or any other race, he doesn't approach anyone and does everything he can to not let them approach his home either. But that changes when one day a guy just falls from the sky. It literally falls from the sky. Right in the middle of Law's herb garden and although he really wants to get rid of this invader, he can't get rid of his curiosity because Law's house is in the middle of the forest, far from peaks or mountains, so where the hell is this guy came from and, even better, how did he survive the fall? Curiosity (and his sense of duty as a healer) causes Law to drag the guy inside and nurse him back to health. 'The guy' soon wakes up and gets a name, Luffy, who reveals himself to be a priest of the Sun God's temple, which makes sense to Law, since Luffy's magic seems totally opposite to his, a raven whose species is constantly attributed to the Goddess of Darkness, Nika's enemy. All this, however, does not explain how Luffy fell out of nowhere from the sky and it only gets worse when not even Luffy knows how it happens. Unfortunately for Law, meeting Luffy is a path of no return and in the blink of an eye his isolated and peaceful life is disturbed by the priest who, after returning to full health, becomes a noisy guest in Law's small cabin. Things get weird when Law's wings start to grow back, white instead of black, at the same time that Luffy also starts to change. For worse. His health simply declines and his magic grows and becomes out of control, becoming a danger to everything around him, excluding, in some way, Law. Desperate to understand and help Luffy, Law begins his journey out of seclusion toward the capital's temple, where Luffy is said to serve as a priest. But dragging a time bomb in the shape of a man all the way to the capital is not simple when you are alone and Law has no option but to accept the growing number of people who seem to be drawn into Luffy's orbit and who decide to accompany them on the journey

#one piece #lawlu #lulaw #Law said 'I want to live in peace alone in a forest' and Luffy took it as a personal challenge #is just one piece but magical shapped #also luffy is about to explode #Other than that it's basically magic op #law said 'I want to take Luffy to the temple as quickly and as peacefully as possible' and EVERYONE took this as a personal challenge #nakamaship is what it is #Luffy is Nika but I think we already knew that.#he simply sealed himself in a human form or something and ended up awakening the seal when he began unconsciously healing Law's wings.#law said 'I don't want friends' and as always people felt challenged #People need to leave this guy alone he's going to have an aneurysm #This was supposed to be a winged au but I forgot what I was going to write lol #There is Zoro a half-blood tiger #Sanji a fugitive prince #Ussop a cursed wooden doll whose magic is highly fabricated based on his lies #Nami a witch who doesn't seem to know she has witch blood #Robin a mysterious shapeshifter who refuses to show her animal form (shes a godamn octopus)#Franky a robot who #similar to ussop #was cursed with sapience #Brook an undead whose bones were the only thing left #And Jimbe a fishman who was far from home at sea #they simply meet on the way #they look at Luffy (a strange and very friendly guy who attracts them) and Law (a grumpy guy who doesn't want them around)#they think 'hmm I should join the party'#much to law's despair lmao

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mattodore · 7 months

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hello good morning happy thumb in his mouth tuesday (a day i just made up for matthias's slutty little whims)

#river dipping #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #echthroi #a burning house to live in #ts4 #blender #now i just have to make a pose where theo's thumb is in matthias's mouth so everything goes full circle #you already know matthias is gonna be on his knees for it 😌#but anyway i finished making that first pose last night while recording a little video showing nene how i make poses #and then when i woke up i jumped back into blender to make another version of the pose but like. hornier.#i love making poses rn like i'm in blender so often these days... honestly i'm in blender more than i'm in the sims lmao #there's one i started working on like two days ago that is so... i wish i could share it on here but cock and balls are out in it </3 #placing so many curses on tumblr hq #...........i did make a pillowfort account tho so :)#i'll post the wip of it onto there when i get further along bc the pose is kind of messy atm. still trying to figure out the anatomy 😁🔫#i actually made a pillowfort yesterday just to post an old screenshot from the casual oc save that i found again and had a good laugh at #i've been messing around on there and i really like how you can set posts to being just for logged in users / followers / mutuals #and there's an 18+ label you can slap onto your posts too #like it's great!!! tumblr sucks so bad why don't we have those options on here... seriously #ALSO you can turn off reblogs on pillowfort any time you want and you can set it so that it DELETES ANYONE ELSE'S REBLOGS OF THE POST!!!#WHY is that not an option on this website like i hate it hereeeeeeeeee #but anyway pillowfort also seems to not have that many people on it so like. that's literally perfect for me and my avpd #i'll probably end up posting on there a lot #...... oh and #nsft #?? just in case i mean matthias does in fact have a handful in that second pose there so. for the blacklists ☝️

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volcanicsleep · 11 months

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we watched all* turtle media! here's our ranking list!

*we would watch shows from the beginning until we lost interest, then we'd jump ahead in the series and repeat until we had a good overall impression of the show (we mostly cared about characterization and relationship dynamics).

the rankings are not indicative of objective or subjective quality. it's just based on how much we enjoyed them

the rise movie

rottmnt

tmnt (1990) + tmnt II: secret of the ooze [watch together. its a complete experience]

TMNT (2007)

tmnt (1987)

turtles forever

tmnt (2003)

tmnt batman movie

first bay movie

tmnt flash forward

tmnt III [nigh unwatchable]

tmnt (2012) [had to drop it after 4th episode for mental health safety]

honorable mention: turtle odyssey

#rottmnt #tmnt #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 1990 #tmnt 1987 #tmnt bayverse #honestly we thought that the complaints about mikey being abused might have just been like. fandom exaggeration. for like angst stuff #turns out they're all abused and the fandom only knows how to identify the most overt of it #...this doesn't mean they don't love eachother. they do #thats kind of the problem lmao #speaking from personal experience here. but the 2012 family (at least in early episodes) was my family years ago. its abuse guys #therapist identified abuse #this does not mean that if you enjoy 12 you are pro-abuse or anything like that #the media you consume or get happiness from does not determine your moral stances or qualities #also themes like that could easily fly over your head if you've never encountered real life abuse- or you grew up with it being normal #...anyway 2007 isn't as cursed as some of you were complaining #leo just kinda looks like a lizard and everything looks wet BUT OTHER THAN THAT its one of my favorites actually #fights scenes good :3 #except the last one. the movie kinda shits the bed at the end lmao #also: released in 2007: predicts the fucking 2008 housing crash. hilarious. apollo and dodgeballs lol #essays to come about each movie/show or something if me and ahs feel like it lmao #if anyone has good 2012 episodes without splinter we'd like to watch them :)

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transingthoseformers · 11 months

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That would be fragging hilarious though if there was a situation where Scourge was a post war Megop kid but Optimus was the carrier because there's just this little shit that hates his ass and nobody knows why, and it's just like:

Optimus: "Scourge is being difficult today, again."

Starscream: "Whatever did you do to make that one hate you so much?"

Optimus: "I pushed him out of my valve and that was apparently a mortal sin in his optics."

#maccadam #transformers #Optimus prime #Starscream #Scourge #there's something funny about the fact that the one kid who has the nigh identical shapes to him is the one who's fave parent is. not him #Megatron every now and then makes jokes about how at least they know /his/ pussy isn't cursed #and Optimus just. glares at him because i wholeheartedly think scourge would be a difficult birth #that kid fought him from the moment emergence began #oh this scenario 100% relies on megatron carrying the first few sparklings and optimus finally giving it a try... just to get scourge #he loves scourge—honest— that kid simply has a least favorite parent for no goddamn reason #reminds me of this one tfa fic where baby sunstorm was super religious and Star just went '' yeah we don't know why he's like this ''

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nayruwu · 8 months

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i must say, i fully trust kagami to reveal the reason shinya wasn't revived by the experiment and it to be "because he has a black demon and someone with a black demon is too demon to be considered human".

wanna know why? it's because kagami often does what feels like reverse writing, which we've noticed many times before. instead of making his characters write the plot by making individual choices, they are bent to make the story happen. so the process is X thing needs to happen -> character A has to make Y choice, and not character A makes Y choice -> X thing happens as a result. (i'm not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, that's just how writing goes, but in ons' case it leads to many inconsistencies because it wasn't planned ahead properly.)

so i can imagine that it's not shinya isn't fully human -> the experiment cannot revive him -> he will not be affected by the curse and can find out about his own death without ceasing to exist but instead shinya must be able to find out about his own death without dying because his reaction is important -> the experiment is not what revives him but it's ferid instead -> the experiment can only revive humans -> humans with a black demon do not count as fully human.

of course we can't know this yet, and i really hope i'm wrong and there is actual interesting reasoning behind it. please let me be wrong.

#they could have already revealed it if it was really just him having a black demon right?#then again if guren knew why shinya wasn't revived he would probably also be able to guess that the curse won't affect him #what am i saying we don't even know if the curse will affect him or not i'm just speculating about literally everything💀💀💀#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #shinya hiiragi #i gotta say i think it's a little funny that kureto knows that the experiment that ended the world was the resurrection of humans #and he somehow still hasn't caught onto what guren did #with all the info he has???#well.

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hangmanssunnies · 1 year

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Maybe 8 and 14?🥺👉🏻👈🏻

8. mumbling unintelligibly into the embrace & 14. cuddles after being touch-starved

Hangman could only remember three things while Marlee drove him home from the bar. She peeled them off the ground and bet Coyote a whole piece of chocolate fudge that he couldn't get in the car by himself. Hangman only giggled a little bit when Coyote jumped up so fast he nearly fell face-first into Marlee's lap through her open window to kiss her. Coyote would have kept trying to kiss his wife, too, if Jake hadn't helped pull him from half hanging out of the car. Then, Marlee made Javy sit in the back so he wouldn't get handsy with Seresin in the vehicle. A statement that made Hangman roar with laughter, and he almost forgot his list. Loosening his watch band a notch, Jake repeats his list.

Lock the doors.

Three doors, six locks. The front: one deadbolt that turns to the left, but a handle walk that locks to the right. Hangman shakes the reminder he needs to switch the locks to match away from his head. He knows if he doesn't finish the list, he will lose it in the wild and random whims of his brain. The garage door had a handle lock that locked to the left and a chain that slides into place but has to be pushed down to notch into place. Then finally, the back door, it was easy a deadbolt that locked towards the right and a bar behind the door.

2. Drink one bottle; take a bottle.

His tired and true hangover prevention method. When Hangman layered in water and then did a DOTO routine, he would wake up feeling better than ever. A hack that had gifted him the last six years hangover free. (Paired with generally drinking less) The nights he would remember to take his lemon mint-infused water, Jake would sometimes wake up the next morning and actually run an extra mile. There was something about the high a good night out and social interaction would fill his battery to 100%. It was an easy high to chase, one Seresin would often find himself chasing before he understood how to balance out. Too many nights of people, fun, and drinks were bad for his health; On the flip staying at home and not doing anything but reading the Stormlight Archives and work burned Jake out too. With age, Jake had gotten better at finding and living in the middle ground, doing his best to moderate the highs and lows. Nowadays, it was easier than ever, hardly more than the occasional consideration because Jake had you. And you had changed everything for him.

3. do NOT kiss Sugar goodnight.

Jake repeated that one six times more than the others. He was the most worried about forgetting it. It was his personal mantra for the night. Jake had even accidentally blurted it out to Javy and Marlee instead of actually saying goodnight. Coyote removed his lips from Marlee's neck and stared at Jake for 30 straight seconds before doubling over with laughter, disappearing in the back seat once more out of eyesight. Marlee had smiled wolfishly before wishing him "good luck with his sugar." Jake didn't know why he could possibly need good luck to complete his list.

The first two tasks were simple. Once Jake was in the dim light of the house, he locked the doors in left, right, left, slide, down, notch, right, kick. Then Jake got his water and made it all the way up the stairs. Unfortunately, the stairs are where his plan falls apart. Jake wryly thinks it seems that they often are for him. Maybe he should be more conscious of the puzzle curses he lets in his home.

You left your door open, and he could see you half awake, half asleep. You have something playing, and Jake is drawn to your doorway. All you have to give him is a half smile and a wave. It's always easy for you to activate the homing signal in his chest, then pull on the magnet there right to your side. Right where Jake knows he belongs.

'Do NOT kiss her goodnight,' Jake reminds himself again. However, his mouth does sometimes seem to have a mind of its own. His lips graze your pulse point of the hand you stretched out for him. Just that small touch is enough to set him on fire. If he ever allows himself more, Jake isn't confident he would be able to stop himself from not trying to fuse himself to you. He was content to be some barnacle to your life. Jake somehow finds the strength to pull away, but then you shock him by pulling him close.

There is no option but to melt into your embrace as you hold him. You are half-mumbling questions about how his night went. None of them really make sense, but Jake doesn't mind. The longer he is there, the more Jake's own eyes start to drift closed. Before he is too consumed, Jake nudges you into a more comfortable position.

He runs through his list again, checking them off in his head. Then he gets to the last one, and half whispers it to himself.

"Kiss goodnight," Jake says, nodding his head slowly.

Then he hears you hum in acknowledgment. You tilt your face from where you've pressed it into his shoulder, and Jake does the same to get a better look at you. Your lips brush his, once, then twice. It's a movement that's more sleep thanconscious. It's not even a thought to follow your mouth for one more small lingering touch.

Jake doesn't process what's happened until he is already past the precipice of sleep. And at that point, he can't tell if it was a dream. Or if that third item on his to-do list really was to get some sugar from his sugar.

#we all love touch starved Jake #Are all of these going to be in Jake's POV #yeah Prob #I'm just on something about it tonight #I love him so much #he is soft #Thank you for the ask <3 #Do i want to talk about niche puzzle curses forever?#yes yes I do #but also I know other people don't need to know about curses #bc anxiety #I'm actually low key obsessed with this #hope you like the drabble #I know it's .... different #jake seresin x reader #House We Share

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imminent-danger-came · 7 months

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Me thinks I am one of the few who really likes lmk's pacing

#personally I think it's god pacing #They can do a lot in 10 minutes and do it well #Like. Let's look at 4x02 #It gives us a SWK & Macaque flashback #It gets Tang Sandy and Pigsy trapped in the scroll #It introduces Azure as a characters (and hints at peng and yellowtusk)#It explains the curse the scroll and gives us a hint of the 10 kings of the underworld #It establishes Azure's relationship with monkey king #AND it get's MK and Mei into the scroll #all in 10 minutes #They blow me outta da water every time #Like. I don't know what we could possible cut out to make time for other things.#Like. *maybe* 3x03. Maybe.#Aughg but I don't want to I'm just so satisfied with what we have #Like RELATIVELY. To the total time the show actually has. I just feel like everything gets a decent amount of focus #Which is my opinion #But I guess this topic as a whole is pretty subjective #anyways #rant end *sheaths my blade*#lmk #lego monkie kid #imp tag

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trensu · 1 year

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How about a Magic is Real au with a dash of cursed item dubcon thrown in? I feel like there should be more of this type of au in the fandom. Y'know, for funsies.

Okay yeah, Steve probably shouldn't have touched the cursed object. Like, it's practically in the name, right? And Steve might not be genius-smart like nearly everyone in his friend group but he's not an idiot. He's got common sense. He's the one that grabs Dustin by the collar or steps in front of Nancy when they get into their heads to run some genius plan without taking into account that, like him, they're frail mortal humans.

Which is why he touched the cursed object himself--a handwritten poem on some thick paper that's yellowed with age--because if he hadn't, they both would have gone for it. He saw them start to reach out because they're both too stubbornly curious for their own good. He figured if the object was actually cursed, it's better that he carry the curse and have the genius-level smart people on the job of figuring out how to break it rather than them being cursed and benched for it. It's sensible! Of course none of them listen to him. But he's feeling fine so really, what does it matter?

"Okay, hand it over," Dustin says after Steve didn't display any negative effects.

"Nope! Not happening, Henderson," he responds cheerfully. Dustin tries to protest but Nancy cuts him off.

"No one else is touching the thing until it's been put in the neutralization circle. Just because Steve hasn't had a visible reaction to it doesn't mean something didn't happen."

"Look at the bright side," Robin tells the still grumbling Dustin. "We get to visit your favorite dragon master!"

"Dungeon," Dustin says exasperatedly. "Eddie's a dungeon master."

Steve and Robin roll their eyes simultaneously. "Whatever."

So they trek over to Eddie's place. Nancy and Dustin trade off questioning Steve the whole time.

"What does it say?" Dustin asks.

"I don't know, it's just some poem? No name on it. Looks kinda...sappy," Steve shrugs. "Do you want me to read it to you?"

"Better not," Nancy shakes her head. "It might be a spell that activates by voice. How does it feel?"

"...like paper. It feels like old paper."

"No weird sensations? Is it lighter or heavier than you'd expect? Does it look odd when you read from it?"

"No, Nance, it literally just feels and looks like some old-timey English homework."

"And you're still not feeling weird?" Robin asks, because she's his platonic soulmate who cares about him doesn't get wrapped up in every new puzzle that shows up like Dustin and Nancy.

"Still feeling fine. Seriously, I'm starting to think the rumors were just, y'know, rumors." He tucks the supposedly cursed paper into his jacket pocket, ignoring Nancy and Dustin's indignant protests.

They finally arrive at Eddie's place. Eddie opens the door with his usual mischievous grin.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company today, my lords and ladies?" he asks with a lazy half-bow.

"Eddie! We need to use your neutralization circle," Dustin starts to explain.

Steve should probably try to pay attention but he can't because Eddie is here. Eddie is here and taking up all his focus, and if Steve doesn't kiss him right now he might die. Steve moves without a second thought, shoving Dustin to the side to get right into Eddie's space. Eddie's bambi eyes widen (fuck he's beautiful, how is he so beautiful) and tries to take a half step back and hey, that's not allowed.

"Whoa there, big boy, what--"

Steve doesn't know what he was about to ask because he's pulled Eddie close and nipped at his lips. Eddie yelps in surprise, and Steve takes advantage to deepen the kiss The shocked whimper that escapes Eddie's throat thrills Steve. Eddie starts to relax into his arms and all Steve can think is yes, yes, this is what he wants. Distantly he hears someone squawk in shock, followed by other similar exclamations from other people that really really don't matter right now because Eddie is in his arms and Eddie wants him and he needs Eddie to take him to bed right now.

Eddie tears his mouth away from Steve and wait no, why's he doing that, oh, hang on Steve can work with this. Steve presses wet kisses along Eddie's jawline.

"S-Steve," Eddie gasps, and doesn't that just sound delicious? But it would be even better if Eddie would just scrape his teeth against Steve's neck. Huh. That's a...what do you call it? Dilemma? Yeah, a dilemma. How can he get Eddie to cover him in love bites and talk to him in that voice at the same time. He pulls back for just a moment to ask Eddie what he would rather do, because Steve is down for whatever Eddie wants, and in that moment the worst possible thing happens.

Someone else's hands grab the back of his shirt and yank him back while Eddie takes the chance to also shove him away?? Why is he shoving Steve away?

"What the fuck," Eddie says, sounding slightly hysterical. "What the fuck just happened?"

Did Steve upset him? Oh god, what did Steve do wrong? He knows Eddie wants him so he must've screwed up big time if Eddie's pushing him away now. Steve has to fix it, he has to.

He tries to get back to Eddie but the hands on him tighten their grip and Steve nearly growls in frustration.

"Steve what are you doing?!" Nancy asks, voice high pitched and grating and Steve feels a flare of annoyance because wasn't it obvious?

"I was kissing Eddie," Steve bites out.

"Why?!" Dustin screeches.

"Because I'm good at it and I want him to fuck me," Steve snaps. Because, again, this should be obvious and they are getting in his way.

Dustin slams his hands over his ears, screeching again. "NOPE, NO, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS."

Underneath the screeching, Steve hears Eddie giggle. When he looks over to where Eddie's plastered himself on the opposite wall (and damn, why hasn't Eddie shoved him up against the wall yet? He can't think of anything better than having Eddie manhandle him), he sees that while Eddie is giggling, he doesn't look exactly happy about it. He looks skittish, which is the opposite of what he's supposed to look like. He's supposed to look like he wants to eat Steve up with a spoon. Steve tries to smile at him anyway because he loves Eddie's laugh and he hates seeing Eddie distressed. For some reason, Steve's smile makes Eddie look more distressed.

"Uh," Robin clears her throat. "So, um, is this something new? Because, I'm kind of insulted you didn't tell me you were dating, Steve. We're supposed to tell each other these things!"

"We're not, we're so not. I have no idea what's happening right now" Eddie interjects and Steve feels his heart splinter a bit. Alright, Eddie might technically be right in that they haven't actually done or said anything about dating or making out or doing dirty dirty things to each other before but that doesn't matter because he knows Eddie wants him and he needs Eddie.

"Eddie," Steve says, "Eddie it's fine, I just want...why are you so far away?" Steve takes a lurching step towards him.

Suddenly, Nancy's hands move from where they'd been gripped into his shirt and puts him in a chokehold. "Nance," Steve rasps. "What? Let go."

"I think we've found the curse, Steve, so no, I'm not letting go," Nancy says firmly.

"Curse?" Eddie asks, looking straight at Nancy and not sparing Steve even a glance, what the fuck. Steve struggles against Nancy's hold but she doesn't budge an inch.

"We were following up a rumor about a cursed object and we found a handwritten poem--"

"--that the dingus of course just had to grab--"

Well that was rude. Steve's gotta find himself a better platonic soulmate. But that's a problem for later, right now he has to figure out how to coax Eddie back.

"He said he was fine though," Dustin whines. "He was acting completely normal!!"

"We were coming over to use your neutralization circle so we could investigate the item safely. And yes, Steve was behaving normally before we got here," Nancy continues to explain. God, why did these people have to talk so much? Can't they see they're wasting their time?

"I am fine, I don't know why you all are acting like this," Steve complains and tries to wriggle out of Nancy's grip again.

"Why we're acting like this?" Dustin splutters.

"We're not the ones acting weird, idiot," Robin says.

"You're keeping me from Eddie," Steve says as an explanation. "Nancy let me go!"

"Yeah, that's not--this is not normal behavior for you, Steve-o," Eddie says, and he might as well have stabbed Steve in the heart. How could Eddie not know how much Steve needed him?

"Eddie," Steve whimpers. He needs to fix this immediately. "Don't say that, Eddie. I'm sorry, whatever I did, I'm sorry okay? Tell Nance to let me go and I'll make it up to you. Just give me a chance. I'll make you feel really good, Eddie, I promise. You want me on my knees don't you? I can do that! You can even pull on my hair."

Eddie makes a strangled sound. Nancy on the other hand makes a disgusted noise that was almost inaudible under another of Dustin's screeches. Robin starts to babble something about getting the paper into the circle yesterday.

Steve really doesn't understand why everyone is freaking out.

(one additional bit to the au)