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#it doesn’t have a tag so idk man

turtleblogatlast · 2 months

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[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]

Something that kills me is that there’s no way in hell that Raph’s debilitating separation anxiety isn’t infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.

Not to mention his worries of getting “weird” would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when he’s brought “back” it’s to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)

The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rise raph #trauma /#mind control /#separation anxiety /#autophobia /#codependency mention in tags /#after the invasion he checks up on the others multiple times and guiltily hopes one of them asks to stay with him for the night #he’s the big brother so it feels - wrong. to ask them to stay with him.#but his plushies don’t have heartbeats. and neither did the krang #and guiltily - guiltily - Raph is relieved when someones doing bad enough to stay with him each night #he doesn’t know it but the others see he needs it so they offer #man idk I just want Raph to be safe and happy #me having Raph feels at 3 am #I raise you: codependent Raph and Leo post invasion #they both dealt with losing the other #going from fighting and high tensions pre invasion to being scared to leave each others’ side post invasion #god wait this concept is so sad wait #but it works #may address this in a later post/fic ngl

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fogwitchoftheevermore · 25 days

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(context for watcher/listener!sausage can be found in the “videos” tag on my blog if you want it, but this ficlet can be read without said context)

- - -

“Y’know, of all the Hermits I was expecting to be pulling me into a dark corner tonight, I did not expect you to be first, Grian! I love the initiative!”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Grian says in a voice near a hiss. He’s got Sausage by the wrist, leading him into a small area of the upper floor of the tavern in Sanctaury that does look like it was built for the exact purpose Sausage is implying. Grian decides to ignore that as well.

“What are you doing here?” Grian’s straight to the point. He always has to be, with these Things, if he doesn’t want to get trapped in a loop of slant rhyming pleasantries.

“What do you mean?” Sausage asks, shaking his wrist out of Grian’s tight grip and leaning comfortably against the wall. “This is where I live. It’s my home. If anything, I should be asking you mysterious strangers what you’re doing here, but I’m sure you’ve heard that question enough for one day.”

“You know exactly what I mean.” Grian crosses his arms and tries his best not to look petulant, but he sure feels like it. “I thought They’d given up on trying to snatch me back, so why would They send you of all people? What’s your game?”

Sausage laughs, honest to god laughs, like he can’t believe Grian’s even asking him such a question. Grian thinks it’s a reasonable question, in this scenario, but what he thinks and what’s reasonable rarely seems to matter with these things.

“They didn’t send me,” Sausage looks him up and down in that way that makes Grian have to physically stop himself from curling inwards. This is why he never talks to Them. “Nobody sends me anywhere, they don’t tell me what to do and I like it that way! I just do my own thing. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

“No you’re not! You’re not- you can’t be! That’s not how this works!” Grian begins to notice that he’s no longer whisper-shouting and starting to just-normal-shout and takes a deep breath, trying not to draw the attention of his friends enjoying themselves on the floor below. And, realistically, in the other dark corners Sausage seems to have built into this place.

“That’s exactly how this works. You didn’t think you were the only person who’d left, did you?”

Grian opens his mouth, closes it, and thinks. In hindsight… yeah, he had kind of assumed he’d been the only person who’d left. Not for lack of trying, probably- but They’d tried for so long to get him back, kept him closely surveilled even when They’d accepted he was gone- surely some people had caved to that pressure eventually. When there was no sign They’d ever let up, ever let you go… he could understand eventually letting it overtake you.

“Did- did you leave, too?” Grian doesn’t remember the last time he saw Sausage’s face. He didn’t know him back then, of course. He probably would’ve connected the man with the person Pearl so often spoke about sooner. But he knows it’s been a long time, maybe even longer than the last time Grian had gone There. He doesn’t think Sausage had been There, that day. This might explain why.

“Eh, not quite?”

“What-“ Grian flails, both mentally and with his arms a bit. “What do you mean not quite?”

“Exactly what I said! I was never- it’s complicated, y’know?”

“Explain. Now.”

“Well, uh,” Sausage seems to flounder for the first time since this conversation started, which Grian is choosing to take as a victory. “Look, I wasn’t- they didn’t pick me. For this, or for anything, ever. Sometimes things just happen and you get yourself into a place you shouldn’t have and then… they can’t get rid of me, I can’t get rid of them, it is what it is.”

Grian stares at him for a long moment. Really stares at him, in the same way Sausage had looked him over earlier, in the same way that makes you feel like you’re under a microscope. Judging by the sudden nerves in his eyes, Grian can assume he feels it too. Grian remembers his face. That had been the first thing he’d noticed, when the Hermits had arrived. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other, but Grian knew his face. And now that Grian was studying him, really trying to remember… he’s not sure he quite likes what memories he’s dredging up.

“What are you?”

“Grian!” Sausage’s voice drips with mock offense as he puts his hand up to partially cover his mouth. “We only just met, do you think that’s polite?”

“Answer the question,” Grian sighs. How Pearl deals with this man on the regular, he doesn’t know.

“Well, if you insist.” Sausage sighs, somehow even more exaggerated than his previous movements. “It’s just… if you’ll believe it, it’s somehow even harder to answer the first question.”

“It shouldn’t be,” Grian says. “They’re two very different People, you know.”

“But they’re the same species, when it all comes down to it. Like, you might be very different than a chicken, but you’re both birds in the long run.”

Grian pauses, fanning his wings out a bit behind him as he considers. “I don’t think that metaphor’s quite landing the way you want it to.”

“No, me neither. Anyways, let me continue.

When they don’t pick you, things go a little differently! You don’t get sorted onto one side or the other since, well, you’re not really supposed to be there? So I’m… whatever I want to be, really. I think I’m feeling like more of a Listener, today, but we’ll see how the mood shifts.”

Grian flinches at the Name, on instinct. He doesn’t know how to feel about that, so he files it away to be dealt with at a later date. As for the rest of what Sausage said-

“What?”

“You heard me.” Sausage shrugs. He’s so nonchalant, Grian thinks he might strangle him, if not for the worry that that’s exactly what he wants out of this, somehow.

“Did I? Did I hear you?” Grian wants to pace, but that requires leaving the security of the corner, so he forces his feet to root themselves to the floor. “I thought- I thought you had to- if you wanted to change sides, I thought you had to-“

Grian closes one eye and takes his thumb to it, twisting the finger into his eyelid. The gesture seems to get the point across.

“Well, that’s the funny thing about this, actually.” From the way he’s been talking, Grian assumed Sausage thought this whole thing was funny. He restrains himself from saying that out loud if only so Sausage will finish his explanation.

Sausage reaches up to his left eye, pulls his eye lid back a bit, and unceremoniously pops out his prosthetic eye.

“All these processes and rituals actually have a lot of loopholes.”

Grian doesn’t know what face he’s making, but it’s enough to make Sausage giggle while he pops the eye back in. Because of course he does. Because this how his day is going, apparently. Walk through a weird portal in his basement and wake up in a world filled with his friends who don’t recognize him and also a guy he only ever saw There, who he was never supposed to see again. Sure. Of course he’s laughing about it. Grian thinks if he was a slightly different person, he’d be laughing too. It is, undeniably, absurd.

“Well, I think we’re done here then!” Grian would probably object if he weren’t so shocked about the loopholes. As it is, he just stands there a bit stupidly.

Sausage turns away to return to the party before turn around again for just a moment, reaching over, and ruffling Grian’s hair. That shocks him enough to shake him out of his stupor and swat Sausage’s hand away, though not before his hair is suitably messed up.

“What was that for?!”

Sausage smiles as he reaches up to rough up his own hair as well. “I assumed you didn’t want your friends asking questions about why you were dragging me into a dark corner, you know?” Sausage even goes far enough to pull his shirt a bit out of where it’s tucked into his pants, because of course he does. Grian tries not to cringe, but Sausage is right about this one thing. It is the easiest way to dodge any questions about where he’d gone off to- at the expense of the many knowing looks and teasing remarks he’ll be getting from the other Hermits instead.

“Have a good night, Grian!” Sausage calls over his shoulder as he turns to leave for real this time. “And remember, drinks are on me for all you guests tonight! You look like you need it.”

#empires smp #hermitcraft #grian #mythicalsausage #hermitfic #empiresfic #long post #my writing #….do i need to tag shipping on this #they’re not actually DOING anything. and i would say i’m not really going much further than sausage usually does #but like. idk man. if i wake up in the morning and decide i need to tag shipping i will #anyways. fics for an audience of like two people total #but that’s ok cause i like this SO MUCH #the first few sentences have been rotting in my tumblr drafts for like at least two months #and i finally kicked myself into gear to just finish it #and i had fun! i liked the way i used capitalization here to really wedge the difference between how these two think of the watchers #(and listeners)#grian doesn’t necessarily respect them but he does still see them as Other. and he’s maybe a little afraid #so all the important stuff gets capitalized #sausage doesn’t. he doesn’t respect them and he doesn’t fear them and they’re just a weird bureaucracy to him #so no capitalization!#also ten seconds after posting this i got a post on my dash #of sausage posting a screenshot of e’s tumblr post about him checking tumblr in their twitter replies #terrifying. hey king if you see this keep the bit up. i think it’s funny

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avalencias · 2 years

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Beauyasha Week, day 1: angst/champion

Well…I’ve fully never been able to get this out of my head so. Have at it folks. A wordless comic I drafted up weeks ago, I like to think it still holds up. I will freely say I meant to refine this more but as ever, work did not allow that do here’s what y’all get.

#blood cw #critical role #critical role art #beauyashaweek2022 #beauyasha #cracklepop #my things #oh man i haven’t been in the practice of tagging things….#ok I think that’s it #anyway I’ve been very 😭 about this for weeks…possibly months? idk how long ago I drew this tbh!!#SURE hope tumblr doesn’t eat up the quality #but anyway yeah it’s eternal angst for me #the chantry lives rent free in my head….#also posting this early bc I have court later and will be defeated after it so

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milimeters-morales · 9 months

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(NOT ATSV) my ideal miguel and miles friendship (bordering on enemies) dynamic is where Miles is sort of a Mean Girls figure where he’ll say the worst things to Miguel, who actually has no problems dishing that shit right back out, is usually too fed up or somewhere else mentally to reply. They fight a lot, more physically than verbally, usually in a slapstick comedy type of way. Miles is banned from Nueva York once a month and got a restraining order against Miguel in his own dimension. His parents fucking hate him and Miguel hates them right back. Rio has tried and failed to poison him via food and Jeff is considering hiring a hitman. Gabriel is beloved by them. Miles takes Miguel’s money at least twice a week to go spend it just because he can. Miguel has tried (and succeeded once) to get Miles sick with a future illness because he figured out the lesbian bar Miguel liked to perform at in drag. Miles has cried at least once in every room of Miguel’s apartment and Miguel has been confused on what to do each time besides an awkward hug and pat on the back. People are rightfully worried for Miles’s safety at least 80% of the time but when they aren’t they’re shaking their heads at the two’s antics. They need to be separated until they have a healthy “this is a grown ass man / this is stupid little girl i don’t like at work” relationship and it’ll take an act of god for either of them to realize their current one isn’t healthy at all and has extremely negative impacts on their mental state.

#i wanna write this so badly bc like . this type of relationship with adults as a kid when you can’t 100% trsut them and place your safety +#in their hands is sooo interesting to write esp considering Miguel’s past and what Miles is used to #which is dangerous fights from adults (his villains) but also the loving ones like his parents his neighbors ripeter and peter b etc #and this miguel (imo) wouldn’t hurt miles on purpose because he knows the pain BUT he also doesn’t realize some shit is pain-causing both+#mentally and physically bc yknow some abused kids grow into adults who subconsciously do similar shit #and for Miles and Miguel to finally realize beating the shit out of each other almost constantly and the negative back and forth (if miguel #feels like talking that day) is just. not a good thing #it’s sort of like the way i write pavitr and miles’s relationship regarding their fighting because it’s genuinely helpful but #can seem borderline awful and physically abusive to each other #peter b is so fucking worried sometimes bc he sees Miguel in a completely different way than other people. like he’s off in lala land #like. he’ll see this 15 year old stickbug of a kid fighting his buddy Miguel who has been known to kill #he’ll say some fights tou just can’t win Miles… and Miles is setting Miguel’s apartment on fire #like they have good moments. okay. trust me. but a toxic friendship like the kind you see that people take too seriously from a show like.#idk bluey. or some kids show like that.#spiderverse fans DNI ‼️‼️‼️🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🤦🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾‼️‼️‼️‼️#not ship never ship don’t even tag is as such bc i’ll just delete the post #miles morales #spiderman #spider man #gabriel o’hara #rio morales #jefferson morales #miguel o’hara #m&m posts

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tadpoled-ranger · 4 months

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Halsin’s quote about “resentment will spring up regardless like mushrooms” (or something along those lines) lives in my head anytime something happens. It’s the first thing that comes to mind whenever I find myself resenting someone else or when someone is acting negatively about me.

And the quotes:

“No matter how long I live, I will always strive to remain a keen pupil. Only a hook would think he could drink in all knowledge until none is left”

“You sound like a student, reciting words for a test without considering their meaning.”

“Sometimes I think conventional wisdom is too narrow about what someone can or can’t be.”

“Natures tapestry is infinitely complex”

So on and so forth, I could create an entire list of quotes but that’s for another time. Like the writer of Halsin absolutely slaughtered, dare I say decimated. As a writer it’s so amazing to see just what people can write. It may be mundane, but the idea that someone wrote that, spent time writing that, is amazing. I don’t see glory in the mundane, because what you call mundane is glorious, and isn’t that what we call poetry? (okay so yeah I took that out a poem I wrote while sick and added more words to chunk it up, but my post my rules I can ramble all I want).

And the voice actor? Absolutely pulls it all together. The delivery of the lines absolutely amazing and I think that’s part of why they stick with me so much. The way someone talks can be a make or break of whether or not you actually pay attention and take weight as to what they’re saying. I think everyone has had that one really boring history teacher who all you remember is how boring they were and the way they spoke, so kinda like that. You probably get the concepts, but nothing else. But when someone talks good you pay more attention and are more likely to y’know take weight to what they say. The way the voice actor did Halsin is just so top tier.

#this was way longer than I planned. anyways time to go off again in the tags #on another note I feel so much kinship towards that man #my trans ass doesn’t want to be an anime twink. I want to be Halsin #the guy of all time to me #daddy Halsin #<- that’s the Halsin tag on this blog btw idk why I chose that but I did #bg3 #baulder’s gate 3 #the note that he wood whittles sent me over the moon. like me and the cool wise Druid have simmiliar interests?????? YESSSS #which like isn’t too surprising because I always get voted ranger ir druid in my friend groups #sorry I see the beauty and glory in trees and the ever beloved sanctity of life #not sorry for rambling though. my post on my blog I get to go off in the tags #my dog just did a weird sneeze cough on my leg and his mouth flipped out #bird dogs are good dogs on their own. but a bird dog mixed with a collie? he’s the best #my only complaint about him is the moment you leave where ever you’re sleeping or sitting he’ll take that spot #he doesn’t want A pillow he wants YOUR pillow #I am going to stop now

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burning--heart · 4 months

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[video id: semi-close shot of grinpayne from the grinning man getting up off of the floor at the beginning of “the smiling song.” he starts face up on the ground, stretches and arches his back. he then rolls over, then extends his limbs in all different directions while twisting his spine. the camera changes to a wider view of the stage and he can be seen for a moment swiftly standing up before the video cuts off. /end id]

idk why but this one bit of movement from the bristol show is so satisfying to me. the tension of it. the limbs at odd angles. big stretch

#this doesn’t even count as a thought so i’m not tagging it as such #the grinning man #grinpayne #sorry he’s shirtless #or you’re welcome? for the shirtless?#idk almost everyone i have watched this with has had something to say about his back but i am unaffected by it personally #video #whatever you call this style of dance/movement… it’s one of my favorite things in general #so tense and yet so free #scratches my brain in almost the same way that richly textured abstract paintings do #hope you all have a peaceful new year :)

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