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#but anyway yeah it’s eternal angst for me
j3llyd0nut · 1 day
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Playground Love
ೀ older!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader
Tags: hurt/comfort, age gap (unspecified but reader is an adult), a lot of self doubt, talks about mommy and daddy issues, pet names (angel, princess, sweetheart).
W/C: 1.0k
A/N: studying? who is that? Anyways, this was supposed to be a cute ‘sitting on his lap would fix me’ but I got hit by existential crisis at 2am so angst.
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"Wow, dating an older guy? That's so sophisticated!"
“Are you sure about this? Don’t you think there’s a reason why no one his age is dating him?”
"You get to date someone older? That's not fair! All I get are immature guys my age."
"Darling, I know you're an adult now, but dating someone significantly older... it just worries me. Are you sure you're on the same page?"
I love him.
At every reaction, you find yourself repeating the same phrase in your mind. It was a simple truth that anchored you amidst the swirl of opinions and doubts. Every concern, every envy—you faced them all with the same unwavering declaration.
But do you really love him?
The question lingered like a shadow, casting doubt on the certainty you had clung to so desperately. You couldn't shake the nagging feeling that perhaps you were merely caught up in the allure of dating someone older, mistaking infatuation for love. Or was it that you longed for attention from an older guy who could fill the void your absent father left?
You craved the paternal presence you had been denied, and in him, you found echoes of the guidance and affection you had longed for. 
"Dating someone older? Isn't that a bit... strange?"
"Why? Age is just a number, right?"
"Yeah, but... do you really think you're at the same stage in life?"
Oh, how naively optimistic you were. 
Perhaps you have been too quick to dismiss your loved one’s concerns, too eager to embrace the illusion of love in the arms of someone—his arms—who offered the fleeting promise of stability and security. 
“But he makes me feel loved and safe,”
“Does he?”
Was your love truly built to withstand the test of time, or was it merely a fleeting illusion, destined to crumble beneath the weight of your differences?
“Darling, can we talk for a moment?”
“Sure, Ma. What’s on your mind?”
"Well, I couldn't help but notice... you seem quite taken with this new guy you're seeing."
"Oh, you mean Leon? Yeah, we've been spending some time together."
"He's... older, isn't he?"
"Um, yeah, he is."
"I see... darling, I just want to make sure you're being careful. Dating someone older can bring its own set of challenges."
"I know, Ma. But he's different. He understands me in a way no one else does."
"I'm sure he does, dear…but promise me you'll take things slow and really get to know him before things get too serious."
"I promise, Mama.”
You've broken many promises with your mama, but why did this one hurt? Is it because you partially blame her for shaping you the way you are? Is it because she married your father? Maybe she would have lived a happier life if it weren't for him, if only.
But you thanked her, both her and him, for the lesson learned, for the wisdom imparted, for the love that had always been there, and for helping you recognise the kind of partner to avoid. 
You stood before the polished wooden door of Leon’s home office, your hand hovering in uncertainty over the ornate doorknob. Each second felt like an eternity as you battled with the torrent of doubts and fears that raged within you. 
You needed him, wanted him to hold you, and tell you that everything would be fine.
But what if he couldn’t understand your doubts? What if your confession shattered the fragile illusion of your love?
With a steady breath, you pushed aside your apprehensions and grasped the doorknob, steeling yourself for the conversation that lay ahead.
“What’s up, sweetheart?” His voice, gruff yet soft and reassuring, always managed to send shivers down your spine, freezing you in place. You couldn’t find the words to speak, and your throat suddenly dried.
Sensing your hesitation, he beckoned you closer with a gentle smile. You could see the experiences he went through, the complexities of adulthood etched into the lines that creased his weathered face.
“Come here, angel. Sit on my lap while I work.”
You obeyed, crossing the threshold into his office, your feet padding on the wooden floor as you made your way to him. Settling onto his lap, your linen dress pooled around you, the fabric soft against your skin. His arms encircled your waist, pulling you close, his rough touch sent warmth flooding through your veins.
You inhaled his scent, a mixture of citrus and wood, with a hint of something familiar: whisky. You thought he quit. Ready to question him, you opened your mouth, but he stopped you before you could question him.
“Don’t worry your pretty head, princess. I only drank a glass, I promised. I’m just a bit stressed.” 
“Mm, okay,” you replied, pushing aside your concerns for the moment as you melted into the warmth of his embrace.
You found solace in the familiar embrace of Leon's arms, the weight of your doubts momentarily forgotten as you leaned into his chest, burying your face against him. A few of his buttons were undone, allowing the soft hairs on his chest to brush against your face. 
"Is everything alright, angel?" Leon's voice, soft and concerned, pulled you back to the present moment.
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just want to stay like this, with you," you murmured, the words slipping out before you could second-guess yourself.
His arms tightened around you, drawing you closer, as if he could sense the hesitation in your voice. "Me too, princess. Me too," his stubble pricked your forehead as he murmured against them.
Oh, how weak you were. His voice and touch alone melted you into a puddle, and all your problems seemed to vanish in his embrace. Your mama wouldn’t be happy with how you turned out; she wished that you would never let a man make you weak like she was.
Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to sink deeper into his embrace, letting go of the weight of your doubts and worries. In this moment, all that mattered was the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against yours.
Perhaps one day, when the time was right, you would find the courage to open up to him about your inner struggles. Until then, you cherished this moment, clawing in the warmth of his love.
Pressing a tender kiss to your forehead, Leon whispered softly, "I love you, angel.”
“I love you, too, Leon, always,” you replied. The words were a vow of unwavering devotion and love…was it really?
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.       
- Oscar Wilde
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avalencias · 2 years
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Beauyasha Week, day 1: angst/champion
Well…I’ve fully never been able to get this out of my head so. Have at it folks. A wordless comic I drafted up weeks ago, I like to think it still holds up. I will freely say I meant to refine this more but as ever, work did not allow that do here’s what y’all get.
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baddiewiththebook · 7 months
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ONE OF THE BOYS
-> While you pine hopelessly over your best friend, Eddie Munson. You hear the sentiment 'one of the boys' one too many times and you've decided to change that. All in the name of the one boy who won't even look at you, or so you think.
-> eddie munson x you (she/her)
-> friends to lovers, slow burn, angst
-> warnings - strong language and suggestive themes [no smut]
-> a/n originally a one-shot, but I couldn’t help myself and wrote some more!
Part 1 [Part 2]
-> <-
Your heart sinks into the deepest pits of your chest. The tiny inconspicuous hole where no one would ever look. Your spirit lies under the earth, while Eddie lies bricks instead of dirt across your corpse. A quite violent death you have taken on.
“Are you still with us?” Gareth waves a hand in front of your face. Grease slips between his fingers from his two day old burger that your school pretends was freshly slapped on a grill that morning.
You squirm. “Sorry, what was that?”
“Eddie says you could come to practice,” he throws his hand up. “You’re one of the boys!”
Right.
Like someone had thrown water across your face, you slide theatrically to the floor in a puddle of you. Theatrically speaking - of course.
The lunchroom chatter dies in the back of your head like you just did a moment ago. You excuse yourself from the group, while claiming that you have forgotten your exam in the next class period and you should really put in at least a few moments of study time.
Your few moments are actually spent stowing yourself away in the ladies room.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe he asked you out!” A girl squeals. “What are you going to wear? Tell me everything!”
You had stopped your self doubting and your eternally ill fading romantic imaginations you came up with while you stare at the dull gaze in your eye behind the dirty spotted bathroom mirror. You should focus on your studies anyway. Failing your senior year of high school, again, was not on your list of to-do's.
Then again, the two girls gossiping were very pretty. You took notes. Hair full and down to her chest in length. The kind of hair Texas wishes they had. Cheeks were plump, and dusted pink with some powder of sorts. Full lips covered in sweet strawberry gloss. You can smell their gloss from just a sink away. That, or perhaps that was their perfume. Sweet and feminine.
“I'm sorry,” one of them notices you staring, while she applies a thick coat of her lip-gloss. 'Strawberry Dream' is what the little label on the tube reads. “Are we being loud?”
“No, no,” you shake your head.
“Okay,” she sings awkwardly, before continuing the conversation her friend had started. “Anyway, Josie, I think we should go shopping for a new outfit. Oh! I - so - need a new gloss. Something sexy!”
“Sexy?” You accidentally slip the words, before you could stop yourself.
The girl cocks her head. “Do you usually eavesdrop?”
Not that they weren’t talking in front of her.
“My bad,” you tug at the ends of your t-shirt. “Erm- you’re trying to impress this boy?”
“Yes,” she says simply. “Do you have some sort of advice?”
Looking you up and down, she spots the stains from your lunch at your chest. Trying not to snort and jeer at your expense, she waits for you to respond. Her cocky tight lipped smile says enough.
“Actually,” you reply. “I- Why don’t you try being yourself? He clearly likes you to ask you out, so maybe you could tone it down?”
“Tone it down?” She frowns. “Like you? Tell me er- girl of some sort- how many dates have you gotten with that fresh out of bed look you wear every single day. You look like a shy boy. Yeah, I see you around. You’re small like a shrimp. You need to be shark in these waters or your going to get your head bitten off. Put on a bra. A low cut top. And, maybe some blush to hide that dead corpse face you wear-,”
“It’s my skin-,”
“When you get a date, then you get an opinion. Got it?”
“Got it,” you zip your lips. What a bitch.
-> <-
Practice, as the group of men slamming poorly synchronized chords together, is held at Gareth’s garage promptly after school. You did not participate in the noise, but rather you sit in a lawn chair onlooking. Fanning yourself with your hands, sweat glistens across your skin like armor.
Your friends finish their set. Eyes on you, you cheer for their noise that will surely draw eyes from the neighborhood. Someone will be by soon to tell the boys to quiet their racket, and to perhaps indulge themselves in a new activity like reading a book. The Book, perhaps.
“You’re getting better,” you propose promisingly.
Eddie nudges your shoulder with a fist on his way to the cooler to grab a cold soda. You pretend like your heart didn’t just stop inside of your chest.
“I told you, guys,” Eddie has been raving to his band mates (and occasional D&D players) that you, his B.F.F., wasn’t going to ruin practice. That just because you might have a new rack and hips hidden underneath this t-shirt wasn’t going to change any dynamic within the group.
They all agreed about this while staring at your ever growing chest and hips. You cover your chest again, before speaking out of turn.
“Are you ever going to preform these songs?” You ask the group.
Eddie’s plush lips touch the bottle his soda came in. Condensation from the glass dripped across his chin and down his neck to the exposed flesh of his chest.
And, they were so worried about you “developing.” Here you are, eyeballing your best friend like you haven’t ever seen him before. Suddenly, you woke up one morning and you were obsessed with him!
It isn’t like that at all. You didn’t know when you began having feelings for your best friend. Somewhere between living next to each other in the trailer park. Sneaking out after your curfew to splash in Lovers Lake (Eddie’s favorite way to wash off his worries). And, the times you tripped over your own clumsiness when Eddie was the first to rescue you. You might have just fallen into his eyes you stared at them so long. Maybe- maybe that’s when something changed.
No more boys and girls - there are men and women. High school changes us - all of us. There’s science behind it all, you suppose. You took health courses, but no scientific explanation could bring you to figure out how you were completely enamored by your best friend.
Your best friend, who is sweating underneath the heat of the garage. Finding himself without options, he strips his shirt.
“Hold this for me,” he says like there’s no issue. Because there was no issue for him, you’re alone in your feelings. Classic.
“Sure,” you fold his shirt up in your lap, while resisting the urge to inhale his scent like a trained dog trying to find a missing person. Or, like an addict getting their fix for the first time in days.
“And, yes,” Eddie announces, before slamming down a new chord. “Come watch us at the Hideout!”
“Really?!”
“Sure,” Gareth speaks for his friend. “If you want.”
“I’ll come,” you ask, “What time?”
“We’ll start setting up around six in the evening, but we’re not set to play until seven,” Eddie explains to you. “Friday.”
You nod. “I’ll be there!”
“Oh, Eddie!” Gareth grabs his attention. “You gonna bring Roxie?”
Roxie Martin? Now, she’s a hot pair of tits in a mini skirt. Full scarlet lips, Rockin’ Roxie, as some people called her, was a She Devil in human skin. Sinking her teeth into her pray, she poisons them with feminine venom. She doesn’t even have to sing them a tune, for men will follow her into the depths of the vast blue ocean without question.
Some just thought she was a slut in heels, though.
Whatever story floats.
Eddie strums a sour note.
“Dude, I’m just teasing,” his friend snickers.
Eddie scolds his friend, then the group of boys begin to slam on their instruments some more.
You sat there for hours watching Eddie slobber over his guitar. Sweat glistened down across his skin. His fingers striking each chord by heart as he did every night. Touching the strings expertly with the tips of his cherry red fingers. He begun feeling sore towards the end of the night, and the guys agree that it would probably be a good opportunity to turn in for the night.
Practice would resume tomorrow.
And you were forever and eternally frustrated.
-> <-
“Robin,” you slouched over the clear candy bowl labeled ‘Free.’ “I need to be a girl.”
Robin jabs away at the keypad of the store computer that is clearly frozen. While she might be renting out videos to people, Robin’s shit with technology.
That gave her more time to ignore her responsibilities, however, and acknowledges to your moping. With an arched brow, she sucks in her lips and she lets them go with a loud pop.
“You are a girl,” she states the obvious, while appearing to look down at your chest. “Or- so I think.”
“That’s not what I meant,” you stuff more candy into your mouth like a starved squirrel just coming out from hibernation. Squirrels hibernate, don’t they? Whatever.
“What ever could you possibly mean?” She props herself up onto her elbows.
There was a time when you were a child that a mean boy kicked dirt on you at the playground. Swooping in like your knight in shining armor, Eddie came to you to brush the dirt from your clothes and to wipe the tears from your cheeks. Feeling outcasted, Eddie surrounded himself in the weaker kids. The kids that enjoy recess sitting on the brick wall of their school, or close by the door to wait for your teachers to let you back inside.
You read books with him during quiet reading because he didn’t know how to keep the letters from mixing together. Eddie would apologize for his hair being frizzy, and all over the place. You thought he was funny looking like that.
Sometimes you wish you could go back to the good old days where your heart didn’t sing in your chest whenever your childhood best friend was near. You wish the aching in your bones would sooth itself instead of feeling fuzzy every time Eddie greeted you at a whisper from behind. That his strong hand touching you like a doll would become friendly again, and less like you want to shove him against the lockers to kiss his pretty face.
You knew better.
Yet, here you are.
Say it had something to do with what happened yesterday. Roxie’s sexy. You want her sexy. Not her. But, just the sexy. And, whoever was in the bathroom was right. You’re much more than a baggy t-shirt and a pair of denim on your legs. You grew up during the summer, and so what if you want to show off a bit. You earned your assets.
“I can’t tell you,” you put out there for Robin to read. “You’ll blab to Steve, and Steve will tell- doesn’t matter.”
You wait for her to speak, but Robin never does. She blinks at you.
“There’s this boy-,”
“A boy?!” Her voice echoes against the furthest most walls.
You wave your hands. “Robin!”
“Go on!”
“I just - I want to grow up a little.”
The jangle of the front door opening broke their conversation apart. There was nothing elegant about Eddie Munson. He slammed his jacket into the stand of desperately rentable tapes. The display wobbled. Swiveled. And, slammed into the floor. The video tapes splattered.
“Dude!” Robin huffs. “I just put those up!”
Eddie scrambles to rescue the mess. “My bad, Robs. You know? You might not want to put these right in front of the walkway. ‘Could get knocked over - see?”
Robin knew Eddie from class. Smart mouth guy with a lot to say about literature. He held a lot in his head, but once he got to a piece of paper, he could just go.
“The usual, Eddie?”
Oh, and he also rented out the same tape once a week for the past three weeks. It was a Rated R film that had a single one minute scene of a nude woman on top of a man she was suffocating. Not with her boobs- with his belt.
Robin snaps back into reality.
“Eh, looking for something new,” he fixed the display, before joining the girls at the register. “Suggestions?”
Robin slams her palm against the monitor. “Stupid thing is still frozen. Oh! Did you hear your little pal has a crush on a boy?”
“Robin!” You cringe. Turning into the wallpaper sounds really nice right about now. Hell, you’ll fix that computer if it gets Robin off the topic of you.
Anyone, she can blab to anyone, but Eddie. Where was Steve when you needed him? Oh, you are so screwed!
“What? It’s just Eddie!”
Just Eddie - yeah, Robin, that’s the problem.
“A crush? On who?” Eddie scoffs out loud.
Your jaw goes agape. “Are you saying I can’t have a crush on someone?”
“No, I just- you’re one of the guys!”
“She can’t be one of the guys forever,” Robin defends you. Perhaps she saw you twitch. “She’s a girl underneath those stains.”
You brush your dirty t-shirt.
“Robin-,”
“What? Whoever this boy is, he’s shit out of luck if he doesn’t see what we all see,” your friend continues.
Eddie teeters his balance back and forth on each foot.
“I’m going to go look for a movie,” he says.
Robin ignores him shuffling into the isles. “I’m just saying if he doesn’t like you back that is his loss. Right?”
You peak around for any sight of Eddie. His frizzy mane is locked onto a movie in the farthest isle.
“Oh my god,” Robin follows your gaze. “Oh my god! This is big- no, huge- I can’t believe before my eyes your friends to lovers trope-,”
“Robin! Hush!” You whisper at a much louder volume than you anticipate.
Yet, here comes Eddie back to the counter without a film in hand. Robin shoots you a glance that screams that she’s about to burst like a toddler who has to pee, but they can’t get their overalls off.
“Can’t find anything?” Robin intertwined her fingers in front of her.
“Maybe tomorrow,” Eddie sighs.
The sound that came from Robin’s lips could have been the earth splitting in two, and trying to suck her in or the angels above calling her back to heaven. She’s a bit eccentric.
Oh, God, you think she’s plotting.
“Actually,” she settles. “I have a film back here that we haven’t set out on shelves yet.”
“Is it a romance?” He guesses purely based on the actors gazing longingly on the front cover. “Robin, I don’t do romance.”
“Obviously,” she says as a matter-of-fact. “Anyway, this is a mystery. Hm? You know? Like clues and shit.”
“Clues and shit?”
“Maybe,” you signal ‘no’ to Robin, but she blatantly ignores you, “you two can watch it together. Hm? Solve the mystery, before the show ends? Let me know what you think!”
“Robin-,” Eddie begins, but Robin is already scanning the tape to rent out.
“It’ll be fun!”
You pinch the bridge of your nose.
“I’ll see you around six for a movie night like old times?”
You mask your embarrassment. Nodding in a set agreement, Eddie left with the film still eyeing the cover like it had just insulted him.
“How could you do that?” You shame her.
Robin shrugs her shoulders, while dancing behind the counter like a relationship fairy.
“Oh! You’ll need something to wear by then!” She shouts to her coworker. “Steve! I’m not feeling well! Will you be okay for the rest of the day?!”
“Ah ha,” Steve appears like he’s been waiting for permission to enter the conversation. “You’re not leaving me here by myself!”
“What was that? I can’t hear you,” she points to her ear, as she’s setting her jacket over her shoulders. “Ear ache.”
“Robin!”
“Huh? Oh, thank you!” She shuffles herself and you out the front door.
Warm air meets you outside. Although you wished to take off another layer, you felt practically naked as is. Cotton blend shirts were thick in these spring days. The same could be said for your denim jeans.
“Won’t he be mad?” You ask.
Robin snorts. “Steve? No.”
No explanation given - no explanation necessary. Robin and Steve were like a pair of siblings at most times. Although, knowing Steve had a thing for Robin at some point made the analogy much creepier than it should have been.
You drive yourself and Robin back to your home where your family was not. They’re out of town for the whole week doing an anniversary trip. Figuring your of the age to take care of yourself, they’ve left you by yourself with only the responsibility of keeping the home clean.
“What are we looking for?” You sit on your made bed hugging one of your pillows to your chest, while Robin riffles through your closet.
Robin shoves another dress across the hanger to the disapproved pile. Her grunts and sighs are discouraging as is, but rather her blatant disregard that you like some of those clothes is hurting even more. Or, maybe you like those clothes. You haven’t gone shopping in a while.
“Do you own anything that isn’t from Forever 40?” She jokes heartily.
You tilt your head to one side. “I like my clothes.”
“Well, we don’t have time for shopping,” she scans around your room for something. Jostling your clean laundry, your papers across your desk and the drawers under them - she finally lets out an, “Ah, ha!”
You groan. “Are you going to clean your mess?”
Clearly ignoring you, Robin holds up a sharpened pair of scissors like a magic wand. Holding one of your plain shirts in the air, she begins slicing away at every angle.
“Hey!” You protest.
She pauses. “Right, put it on.”
“Rob, that’s my favorite shirt!”
“I’ll buy you another one,” she shoves your head through the hole, and continues sniping at the edges. Fondling your chest, she measures where the top of your breast lies. “Hey! Your the first woman to let me touch their boobs. Congrats!”
You laugh at this. “Robin, as your friend, you can touch my boobs any time you need a fix.”
“Don’t tease me with a good time,” she jokes back. With one more snip, she steps away from you. “You have any skirts? No, of course you don’t. Jeans will have to do.”
You couldn’t hear Robin’s tangent. In the standing mirror hung on your wall, you saw someone new. Surely, she moves when you move. Her chest bounces while she breathes. That tan from the summer on the beach is touching her skin in a most devilish manor. You hold your chin a bit higher seeing what a few snips from craft scissors will do.
“Makeup!” Robin insists.
Pink rouge presses into your cheekbones. Those cheekbones you earned from your grandmother. That’s always the compliment your mother spoke. And, mascara coated thickly across your eyelashes. Your lashes are rather short, but with that black mascara you were seeing yourself glow with confidence.
Lip gloss that tasted like honey-
“In case you’re kissing any boys tonight,” she clicks the tube together with the wand. “My dear, you’re ready.”
You take a spin in the mirror.
“I hardly recognize myself,” you touch your hair.
Robin slaps your hand away. “Don’t mess that up, before Eddie gets here. Oh! And, look at the time, I should go.”
You’re left by yourself for another hour. Twiddling your thumbs, and checking your makeup by the minute. Eventually, you pop popcorn in the microwave and place the bowl in the center of the coffee table in the living room. You twist the bowl around, so you can’t see the chip on the side from when you dropped the bowl a few years ago.
Tapping your foot against the plush carpet beneath your feet, you travel between worlds where you feel ridiculous for dressing up like this, but you also feel hot.
Denim cuts at your waist, and you begin to doubt wearing jeans instead of pajamas. You never wore jeans after you got home. Eddie will surely know what’s up.
You have no time to change your mind because the doorbell rings through the quiet house. Stillness - as if moving would threaten your life somehow. Then, again, the doorbell sings.
You drag the sweat from your hands onto the back of your jeans. Jeans that you should have changed to shorts. He’ll see right through your ruse!
You settle your nerves with one more glance over in the mirror in your little entryway. When you open the front door, Eddie’s tickling the lavender your mom set out on the front porch last week.
“What? Your shirt go through a lawnmower?” Was the first thing he says.
You knew it.
“Erm-,”
“I brought the movie, and beer,” he held up the movie and a six pack he snaked off of his uncle. “Come on, I’m freezing out here.”
Eddie doesn’t ask where anything is. He’s been here so many times before, birthdays, holidays and any time your mother has just come back from the supermarket with “the good snacks.”
You knew each other for some time, which is probably why he’s never going to see you as someone other than his best friend. Why would you think about that? You had a shot, right?
“I popped popcorn,” you pointed in the living room.
“Sick,” he drops down into your couch. “We can go ahead and start the movie - the guys will be here soon.”
“The guys?” You blurt.
“Well, yeah,” Eddie says. “Like old times?”
“Right,” the light in your eye fades, and you just hope Eddie can’t sense the hesitance in your tone.
In the next hour, your quiet date night that had been set up by your overly optimistic friend, swirls in the direction that it is always meant to be. You squish into the couch arm rest, while Gareth battles Eddie over the movie choice. Although, this time the boys came to an agreement that this was not an action movie like Robin promised Eddie earlier.
“Where’s the gore?!” Gareth flings popcorn at the television screen. “Throw her off the ledge!”
“You want to see an innocent woman flung to her death?” You snap at him.
A piece of popcorn drops from Gareth’s mouth, and into his awaiting lap. You didn’t come to raising your tone with the boys unless something truly bothers you. Clearly, by the tightness in your chest, some of the anger spills over the edge. Quite like the woman dangling the man’s waist.
“Never mind,” you stand. “I’m going to make more popcorn.”
Taking the bowl from Eddie, you stow away in the comfort of your kitchen. Before your mother left for her trip, a folded note stacked on the island told you to not bring anyone over. But, if you are going to have boys over, she asks that you use protection. She has a wild imagination if she thinks her daughter has a sex life.
She must have passed this onto you. You toss yourself at someone, who obviously holds no similar feelings as you do. This whole night was a bust. Your eyes itch from the mascara. Your lips bled from when you chewed on them like they’re your last meal. At least the color matches with your lip gloss that you reapplied many times in the bathroom when you need a break from the crowd in your living room. And, you can’t feel your waist anymore. Tingling below the belt - and for all the wrong reasons.
“You okay?” Gareth’s voice startles you.
You spin around, and he’s there standing where the carpet meets the linoleum.
A yell from the living room suggests something mortifying must have happened in the film like the boy finally kissing the girl, or perhaps saying something romantic.
“Yeah,” you blink. “Just- making more popcorn.”
Gareth doesn’t say anything about the popcorn bags sitting on the counter next to him, but the room reads itself. You scamper over to the bag, before ripping the plastic and the bag apart by accident sending kernels across the floor. Gareth meets you at the floor below.
“Shit,” you sniff. “I’ll get the broom.”
“Hey,” he grabs your arm, before you can run off again. “What’s going on?”
You sit next to the mess on the floor letting out a gust of air from your lungs that you’ve been holding onto for dear life.
“It’s stupid,” you tell him.
Gareth moves a piece of your hair from in front of your face. “What?”
You look at him for the first time. Between you two, you didn’t have to say a word he didn’t already know. Because while you’re chasing Eddie, Gareth’s warm heart is following after you. You’re blind to him before.
“Eddie’s not going to like me back, is he?” You whisper at an almost inaudible volume. Dabbing at your eye, you wipe the single tear threatening to break the damn.
Gareth sits next to you with his arms wrapped around his knees.
“I don’t know,” he says honestly. “I think he just hasn’t woken up yet. He does talk about you a lot when your not around.”
“Really?”
“You scare him,” Gareth lets out a breathy laugh. “In a good way. He- he’s never had someone to rely on in his life besides his uncle. And, if what Eddie says is true, you’ll never truly change to please anyone. You’re loyal, and your funny. You’re beyond beautiful. The Goddesses shrivel in your light-.”
Your cheeks heat up.
“Okay, I might have added that last part,” he admits. “But, you never know if you don’t try.”
You reach out for his hand. “Thank you, Gareth.”
He squeezes your hand. “Anytime.”
You say. “And I- I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Erm- you know.”
“I guess I do,” he looks away. “I’ll be fine.”
You toss a popcorn kernel Gareth’s direction hoping to lighten the mood. Gareth snorts and tosses one back.
“We should clean up,” you tell him.
Gareth agrees. “Oh, and - when I said you don’t change, I meant it.”
You pull at your half shirt. “Yeah, I don’t think this is me. Everyone just kept telling me to stop dressing like a boy.”
“Trust me,” Gareth suggests. “You do not look like a boy.”
“Oh, shut up,” you gather yourself on your own two feet. “I don’t know - I kind of like the look, but maybe tone it down a bit?”
“I’ll get the broom,” Gareth says leaving your question unanswered. "Oh, and I promise to keep myself and the guys out of your way the next time Eddie suggests we all have a 'movie night'" at your house."
"You caught onto that?"
"It's a classic move," he sweeps. "I can't say I wasn't going to try it on you some day."
"Well, I'm sorry that it won’t work out between us," you assure him.
"I'll survive," he won’t really look at you now, only at the task at hand. "Besides, I know how great of a guy Eddie is. If you do go out with him, there’s no hard feelings."
Gareth sweeps every last kernel from the floor, then uses the dust pan to scoop them up and finally tosses them into the bin. By the time he's done scoping out every inch of your floor, you're done popping a new bag of popcorn.
The movie night continues without a hitch (aside from the merciless damning of the film coming from each of the boys in your home). Your eye on the one man, who could never look at you the way you do him. But, you don't know that for sure.
Because, as soon as you look away, Eddie's full attention is on you.
2K notes · View notes
leclsrc · 1 year
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wait and see ✴︎ cl16
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genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, angst barely, other drivers appear
word count: 2.5k
The grid recounts the evolution, nature, and many ups and downs of your and Charles' vague relationship.
auds here... req'd, this was p fun to write i hope u guys like it! :) short bec if it was any longer it wouldnt have been as nice to read i think? anyway... i love u guys. title from this.
Lando takes a seat. “Is this the thingy for…? Yeah? Okay. What am I supposed to do again?”
“Just describe the two of them.”
“Easy. She was always pissing him off.” He rubs his chin, lost in thought. “But… in a good way?”
“I told you a hundred times I didn’t want this to be the soundbite you published.” Charles chases after you, his footsteps quickening like a lost puppy as you wrestle your way into the media pen. “A hundred times, and you said okay, and you still published it. Che succede?”
You turn, crossing your arms over your torso. “Look. I said yes, but when I looked it over, nothing else you said was really worth it. It was all just repetitions of the same PR bullshit that makes you look good on camera.”
He rakes a hand through his hair, exhaling with frustration, watching his biting comment on Iñaki rack up hundreds of thousands of views. “This was not a good idea!” He repeats, the same sentiment he’s been telling you in the half-hour he’s known of this video’s publicity.
“But it happened.” You adjust your mic and gesture to Lando, who’s awkwardly waiting for the cameras to roll so you can start the post-FP2 interview and he can talk about his shit car. “I’m busy, so deal with it. Your fans will appreciate you not riding Ferrari’s dick all the time.”
Charles opens his mouth to argue, but shuts it, shoving his way back outside and into the motorhome so he can cooperate in damage control. He doesn’t admit it—to you, to Carlos, to anyone—but the PR that comes of it is more good than it is bad in the end. He doesn’t admit it because it means admitting you’re right, and God if that’s the last thing he’ll ever do.
“They were always butting heads,” George says, laughing as he soaks in the memories of it. “Always fighting over something. Anything. Whatever there was that could be disagreed on—they’d be disagreeing.”
It started harmlessly enough. Seb walked in with two swatches of color—a blue and a purple—and addressed the room with a light tone, asking what color would best suit the tablecloths at his wedding. And then, as it always did with you and Charles, chaos ensued.
“Blue suits green better.” You wave the blue in his face. “You’re busy thinking of red all the time so you don’t understand color theory.”
“It’s not about coordination! It’s about creating a highlight!” He gestures with his hands, aggressively gesticulating to try and get his point across. “Highlight!”
“Oh, bullshit! Blue!”
“Purple!”
“Are you crazy?!”
Across the room, Seb and George watch in mild horror at the two figures caught in a needlessly intense argument over colors at a wedding that isn’t even theirs.
An AlphaTauri engineer comes in to refill his coffee for the third time, finds the two of you still fighting and is genuinely stupefied. He turns to the two onlookers, asks, “Bridezilla, huh? Happened to me once, too. I swear the grooms always try to weasel their way in to seem more involved but their choices never make sense.”
“Oh, no. They, uh, they’re not together.” George clarifies quickly.
“They’re not?!” The engineer and Seb ask at the same time.
They all watch the argument, bemused, but secretly they all wonder just how correct George is.
“We have a saying in Spanish. Del amor al odio hay un paso. Neither of them will understand it—it’s in Spanish, obviously—but I think that applies to them. One minute you think they hate each other, and the next…” Carlos lets himself taper into silence, smiling softly.
Being around Charles feels like karmic retribution, a constant eternal push and pull. But it makes the both of you better, even if neither of you admit it in the end. You can’t really grasp why, or how it started—it might take ages if you do so much as try—but you’re content with letting things happen the way they do.
Or maybe you’re not. “You ruined my fucking broadcast, dickhead!”
You toss your earpiece at his chest, body welling up with annoyance. Your segment was being casted live until Charles insisted he take up your airtime to do whatever-the-fuck, you honestly don’t care. And yeah, sure, he’s way more relevant, but the less airtime you get, the less easily you get the exposure you need.
“It happened one time.” He sounds amused, and it patronizes you, sets you on fire. He clutches your earpiece to his chest and hands it back to you.
“Fuck you.” You tug it toward yourself, and suddenly you’re closer, noses almost touching. You step back, but it’s not enough. “You have no idea how much that mattered to me.”
His eyes flit toward your lips, your bodies melting together. “If it really did…” he says, inhaling, “you would’ve just ignored me.” And damn, he’s right.
Charles does not like you. He just knows you well. But then one might argue—isn’t that the same thing?
“They have trouble not calling the shots, is the thing,” Lewis offers. “So put them in a team, in a room together, and boom.”
“…We didn’t agree on this script.” You underline the problematic lines and toss it onto Charles’ lap from where you stand in front of the sofa. “You want your fans to hate you?”
“The questions were clumsy. I asked you to reword them, but you didn’t.”
“You didn’t ask, to be clear. You demanded.” You click your tongue.
Lewis is in the middle of posting on Roscoe’s Instagram account and manually making typos, but he looks up, interest piqued by the increasingly heated conversation.
“I asked,” Charles insists stubbornly. “Plus, this is a Ferrari segment. You get hired to write on Ferrari, you follow Ferrari.” He points to the yellow logo on his shirt. Ferrari, he mouths. Lewis stifles a chuckle at the sarcastic exchange.
“Jesus.” You reread the script. “Fine. I’ll reword this and this.”
“And that.” He points, tapping the paper.
“Only if you edit this and this. Oh, God, and this.”
“Fine. Wait, that?”
“Are you serious? It’s the corniest statement ever. Edit that or I edit nothing.”
“Okay, bossy.”
Lewis exits Instagram in favor of texting Seb to ask if you two are dating. The response he receives is equally unhelpful: Nobody knows mate.
“You know, for all the disagreeing they did, they actually agreed on so much of the same stuff. If they stopped fighting for two seconds they would agree on most things.” Alex muses. “But they never did, so. Or maybe a few times.”
Media is a tricky thing. It’s either on your side, or it isn’t.
And this weekend, Charles has drawn the short straw, subjected to bouts of backhanded journalists and tweets for his strategy during quali. You know this especially well—you’re media, for Christ’s sake—and you’ve seen your colleagues hound Charles for how he chose to tackle the session.
Alex is in the middle of a FaceTime call with Lily when he hears it. “Wait—I think they’re talking,” he says to his girlfriend when he hears you approach him, carefully maneuvering himself into optimal eavesdropping position.
“Is this the right thing to do?” Lily’s voice comes through like static.
“I know it’s wrong,” Alex confesses. “But—”
“No, I meant I can’t hear properly. Move the phone closer, you dick.”
So he does, and the two of them listen intently to your talk. You go first, a few shuffling footsteps and an adjustment of your media pass, then. “Will’s been all over you today.”
“Yeah,” comes Charles’ voice, tired if anything. “I, uh… I just hope I can understand where I went wrong and, uh. Well, uh.”
“No, I…” There’s heavy silence. “I think you did the right thing. You didn’t get pole, but it was a good strategy. Better than what was being proposed, anyway. I think that would’ve landed you at the back of the grid, to be honest.”
You both laugh. “Thanks,” he croaks.
“You did great. Don’t, um… don’t let them tell you otherwise. I’m proud of you.”
Alex never tells anybody what he heard. But it inspires many long-winded conversations with Lily about the nature of your relationship. Each time, though, they never arrive to a solid answer.
“Hey, listen. I always knew something was there with those two. They had the kind of dynamic you only find once in, like, a million instances.” Daniel says firmly. “But I also kept thinking… poor Charlotte.”
You’re half-sure Pierre was the one who bought you all shots. Or a quarter-sure. Okay, you’re not sure at all. Your mind’s cloudy, your inhibitions lowered, tongue loose and laugh contagious. Around the table everyone is laughing, some others have gotten up to dance, but you, Daniel, Lewis, and Charles are all conversing about work, albeit while drunk.
“Is… tequila… plant-based?” Lewis grimaces as he throws another shot back and you all laugh mindlessly.
“Danny,” you say, tapping his shoulder. “Any plans once you’re out of the paddock next season?”
“Ah,” he hums. “Self-discovery and a shit ton of shrooms.”
You all cheers to the epiphany, shots once again entering your system. “And a party again tomorrow!” Daniel adds half-jokingly, much to your delight. Charles, right beside you, throws an arm over your shoulder as he laughs. You’re unfazed.
Daniel’s gaze lingers on his arm a little too long, especially because your own hand reaches upward to wrap around his wrist, to make sure he doesn’t pull away. But you’re both drunk, he reasons. And plus, you can’t usually stand each other’s guts.
“I’ll pass, mate, if it happens,” Charles says, his tone clearly inebriated.
“You’re no fun,” you say lightly, laughing and turning to him. Your eyes are on the other’s, dark, lips almost touching as if you’ve forgotten Daniel and Lewis are even around (though the latter is as good as dead, honestly.)
“Invite Charlotte instead,” Daniel says with a smile, to try and test your reactions. “How long, now? Three months?”
You clear your throat, looking away with a faux smile.
“Oh. We’re not doing so well, to be honest.” Charles smiles, tight-lipped. He hopes Daniel doesn’t ask why. He can’t think of a lie quickly enough to cover how Charlotte told him I love you, Charles, but this is over. I hope you end up with her someday.
Seb takes some time to think about it. “Those two always fought. Everyone said that, didn’t they? All the time, disagreeing.” He hums. “I could tell very early, though, that they were also the only two who could truly understand the other. Figuratively, obviously—but as a result, also literally.”
“Elaborate?”
“When you understand someone that well, inside and out, you end up understanding everything they say.” Seb smiles. “That was them, I think.”
“It’s impossible to transcribe your interviews,” Will says to Charles. It’s that hour on the paddock where everyone’s waiting for the pre-race bustle to start, so small talk is what’s keeping them busy.
You’re reviewing a few clips from practice on your phone and Seb is chipping into the conversation, which has moved from Mick’s future to F1 into Sky Sports into this.
“What do you mean?” Charles asks.
“You’re always sliding in and out of your three languages!” The Englishman laughs. “I have to consult a native speaker of both Italian and French each time. And you’re always going I, I, I, or we, we, we… but hey, the fans dig it, innit?”
“I think I sound perfectly understandable.” Charles smiles. You’re still busy, unfocused on the conversation at present.
“Like, okay. Look at this.” Will retrieves his phone, opens his voice memos app, and plays one of the audio recordings there. It’s a scratchy one of Charles describing his quali session, and sure enough, even if he’s speaking straight English, the adrenaline and exhaustion have him sounding totally indecipherable.
We—we had gasjdhfhs and I, I, I… I think we need to rejshdhs and thijsjsh about the hsfhdh, yeah? And, and, uh, we ajhshajs. And
Will closes it. “Sebastian, can you tell me that said?”
He shrugs, amused. “Sorry, Charles. I genuinely can’t.”
“See?!” Will makes a voila motion. “Nobody understands this.”
“He said we had good traction and I think we need to recalibrate and think about the boxing strategy, yeah? And we need that mindset.” You’re still going over your phone, busy and not 100% invested. “You two just aren’t listening.”
Charles doesn’t take his eyes off you, or the smile off his face, the whole hour.
Pierre comes last, clearing his throat. He’s ready. He knows exactly what to say, so he says it. “Those two are fucking soulmates.”
It’s three-thirty when somebody knocks on your hotel room.
But your body still feels like it’s five in the evening, your brain’s stuck at two in the afternoon, and your sleep schedule thinks it’s nine in the morning, so you’re not asleep but instead rewriting notes from the weekend prior.
You’re horribly disoriented when you grab your pepper spray and unlatch the door, and even more disoriented when you see Charles on the other side of it.
“Am I crazy?” He asks, breathless, like he’s been waiting for you all his life. Maybe he has.
“You’re at my hotel room at three a.m., so… a bit.” You rub sleepiness and jetlag out of your eyes. “Charles, what’s going on?”
“I love you.” There it is. “It sounds so stupid. But I love you. And it’s almost—I can’t bear it. I woke up this morning? You, on my mind. Lights go off after a race? You. I go to sleep? You. It’s always you. And I know, I know it’s—I know, with Charlotte, and—but it’s true. I, I, I—I think about you every minute. And usually this happens accidentally. Nous sommes tous des idiots quand il s’agit d’amour... moi y compris.
“But this was… I knew I was falling in love and I let it happen. And so I thought, why keep waiting? Why let it drag on and on and fight over and over when I can just come and tell you how much I—and maybe, hopefully, see if you feel the same?”
He pants, tired from his clearly rambled and unplanned confession.
“I love you, too,” you say, struck. Oh God.
“Can I kiss you, then?”
“It’s may,” you breathe. “May I kiss you.”
“You may,” he whispers.
“Right now?”
“Anytime.”
“So now.”
“It’s now or next Tuesday,” he jokes.
“Now is… the best. Now would do.”
“Now would do.” So you cross the threshold and let him scoop you into his arms so he can well and truly kiss you.
“Is that all?” The interviewer asks Pierre. “Just… those words? We need a bit more for the article on this event.”
“Oh, yeah.” He gets up, straightens his tie. “Don’t worry. You’ll hear the rest during my best man speech.”
Del amor al odio hay un paso – From love to hate, there is one step.
Nous sommes tous des idiots quand il s'agit d'amour... moi y compris – We are all fools in love... me included.
3K notes · View notes
ivystoryweaver · 11 months
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With You (part 1)
next part  ||  Fic Masterlist  ||  My Masterlist
Hi, everyone! This is not my first fic, but it is my first MK fic! I have been on Tumblr for ages, but never actually posted a fic here. (I know this account is newer. My much older one is my more personal blog). 
Anyway, I hope you enjoy. 
Pairings: Marc Spector x reader, Steven Grant x reader. No references to reader’s gender. No use of Y/N. Reader is engaged to Marc and Steven.
Word Count: 2890
Warnings: Angst, drinking, alcoholism, ummm cursing? Some kissing and stuff? No actual smut. Let me know if I missed a warning. Probably inaccurate DID, based on the show.
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Marc was a little quiet lately. Strangely quiet, even for him. 
After finishing your shift at the hospital and stumbling home exhausted, you were eager to see your fiancé, maybe even talk to him to see what was going on. 
After a brief eternity riding up in the old lift in your building, you finally turned the key in the deadbolt and let yourself into your shared flat. As usual, one of the boys had left on a small lamp in the entry way, its incandescent glow the only illumination in the flat except for the florescent light of Steven’s fish tank.
Depositing your belongings on the entry table and kicking off your shoes, you quietly made your way toward the bedroom. But as you passed the darkened kitchen you heard a whispered, “Shit,” followed by the sound of a glass bottle landing on the countertop.
Marc.
He was drinking. Even with only the moon’s glow through the kitchen window, you could make out his preferred brand of whiskey.
In the span of a heartbeat, you took in the sight before you. Marc was facing away from you, as if he had been staring out the window, perhaps cursing the moon. Sweatpants hung low on his hips as if he’d made little effort to tie the drawstring. He hadn’t bothered with a shirt and the muscles of his back expanded with a labored breath.
Broad shoulders sagged as his fingers gripped the counter’s edge, his head bowed in what was likely shame. His curls tumbled forward, and you were certain that his long fingers had raked through them relentlessly in your absence, to be able to pull them from Marc’s preferred style.
God, he was beautiful like this, in the moonlight. You couldn’t breathe for a moment, and you wondered how he was able to bring this reaction out in you after four years as a couple. Still...you were worried.
“Marc?” You softly called, giving him a moment to hear your voice and acknowledge you before you attempted to touch him. Despite your loving and very physical relationship, he didn’t like to be caught off guard by anything - most especially not by touch.
He sighed so softly you almost didn’t hear it.
“Marc--”
“I know,” he bit out, though his voice was soft, sounding insistent rather than angry. 
You paused, confused. “What?”
His hand reached for the whiskey bottle, which he lifted and quickly set back down on the counter, shoving it away from him. The liquid sloshed but didn’t spill - he had already taken care of too much of it himself. 
“I know,” he repeated, still refusing look at you, or even lift his head from its bowed position. 
Fairly certain you knew what he meant, you clarified, “You mean you know you’re drinking?” 
Huffing out a sigh, he pushed his fingers through his curls, shifting uncomfortably. He didn’t want to face you like this. You had been through this - his drinking. It was bad at one point - drinking every night, passing out, getting into fights, but he worked hard and got sober. He worked so hard...
As far as you knew, this was his first drink in two years. 
You were devastated on his behalf, but more than anything you wondered what could have caused him to pick up a bottle.
Finally, he turned his head to the side, granting you the view of his profile. “Yeah, I am. So let’s hear it.”
He was waiting for something from you. A lecture? Disbelief, anger, something. 
Pausing to calm your racing thoughts, you tried to figure out how to keep from running to him, grabbing him, overwhelming him, smothering him with love and concern. 
Impatient, he turned all the way around, leaning against the countertop to glare at you. You could barely see his face in the darkness, but you could imagine the grumpy glower he wore. 
“Well?” He asked, sounding more defeated than annoyed.
Squeezing your fists together, you exhaled quietly. Whatever anger or disappointment he was expecting from you tonight, it just wasn’t there. All you felt was overwhelming compassion and deep concern. What had hurt your Marc so deeply? Who were you going to have to tear apart? 
Easing toward him, you moved carefully, slowly, angling your body toward his side, ending up beside him. Placing one hand gently on his forearm, you felt it flex in nervous anticipation. He stopped breathing as your eyes flicked up to his. 
“Are you hurt, Marc?” You softly inquired, not even daring to squeeze or rub his warm flesh. 
Exhaling shakily, he quickly shook his head.
You rubbed your thumb across his arm, feather soft, that small point of contact searing your skin with yearning for him. “Is this okay, sweetheart?”
His chest rose with a pained breath. With a slight nod, his chin dropped down to his chest, unable to look at you anymore.
You dared to rub and down his arm then. Small strokes of your fingertips dancing on his flesh, soothing, not demanding. “Missed you today,” you said sweetly, momentarily ignoring what was clearly agitating him the most - what you would think of him breaking his two-year sobriety. 
Truthfully, your concern was growing with every passing moment. But you knew Marc as well as you knew yourself. You could get nowhere with him if he didn’t feel safe. And was so safe with you. You would burn worlds down for this man you were about to marry. 
“What are you doing?” he harshly whispered, recoiling only a fraction from your touch. “I almost finished the bottle.” A confession of sorts. 
Gently giving his arm a final squeeze, you let go, after laying a soft kiss to his bare shoulder. Reaching for the bottle, you shocked the hell out of your fiancé by taking a swig, wincing as the strong liquid burned your throat. 
“Damn,” you gasped, immediately taking another drink. “You didn’t save much for me.” Tipping the bottle again, you never got to your third swig before Marc ripped it from your grasp.
“What the hell are you doing? Don’t drink that shit.” He flung the bottle into the sink, where it crashed and broke. It definitely sounded more dramatic than it looked - he hadn’t tossed it very hard, but you still involuntarily flinched, which, of course, worried and upset Marc. 
“Shit, baby...I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to...I didn’t mean to--”
“It’s okay, Marc, I’m okay,” you quickly assured him, moving fully into his personal space for the first time all evening. You decided to move and speak with confidence from here on out. He needed to know where you stood. Placing your palms soothingly on his broad, bare chest, you felt his thundering heart. 
“Hey,” you whispered, gazing lovingly up into his frantic eyes. Repeating his name, you waited for him to look down at you, into your eyes, which he finally, reluctantly did. 
“I’m sorry,” you softly soothed, reaching up to trace his jaw line with your fingertips. “I didn’t mean to upset you by having a drink.”
“Why?” he harshly whispered. “I don’t want you drinking that.”
You made a face, “Baby, you were drinking that.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” He jerked away from your touch. “So just say what you’re going to say. Just fucking say it.”
So he was waiting on a lecture. Or a fight maybe. 
“Is there any more?” you asked as he began to pace the kitchen floor. He looked a bit like a caged animal - contained but alert. 
He paused for a moment, almost snarling at you, but seeing your innocent, truly curious expression, he quickly decided that maybe you were really curious and not mocking him. 
“Steven’s bookshelf,” he answered candidly. “The one by the closet - you know, the ones he never reads.”
You nodded slowly, pushing off the counter to walk that way. “Clever,” you replied. Marc was hot on your heels but said nothing else until you retrieved a second bottle of whiskey - same brand - and walked it back to the kitchen.
He assumed you would open the cap and pour it down the drain. He actually wanted you to. But all you did after twisting off the cap was take another long, burning swig. 
Before he could begin to react, you asked, “Are you going to have anymore to drink tonight?”
Shaking his head in disbelief, he grabbed the bottle from your hand and finished what he thought you had started. The amber liquid tumbled from the bottle, splashing in the sink and filling the air with its stale tang. 
“What is wrong with you? Shouldn’t you be the one doing this?” He huffed, dropping the empty bottle to join the first, broken one. 
“No, I absolutely should not be the one doing this, Marc,” you evenly responded. “I should not be pouring out the alcohol that you brought into our home. That is not my job.”
“Ah, there it is,” he snapped, his fists clenching as he leaned toward you, ready for a (verbal) fight. “Let’s hear it, then. Tell me how much I fucked up.”
“No.” Your voice was calm and you took a confident but small step backward. It was not a step of fear, but simply a way to diffuse the fight he was apparently expecting. 
“Marc, you’re a grown man. I’m not going to scold you, or lecture you, or tell you what to do. And despite what you may have been expecting, I’m not going to fight with you. If you want to drink, you’re going to drink. There is nothing I can do or say to change that.”
He looked stricken. Were you giving up on him? Tears stung the corners of his eyes before he could stop them. He’d had a lot to drink and his head was starting to pound. If you weren’t even putting up a fight, he must have really screwed everything up.
“A-are you...are you going to leave?” He whispered, physically withdrawing, turning to brace himself on the countertop once more.
“No, baby,” you answered him evenly, confidently. “I will never leave you. Not unless you made it impossible for me to live here with you. But you wouldn’t do that. Ever.” Easing over to him, you gently laid your cheek against his bare back. “I’m your partner. Not your boss, or a god or a parent. We’re a team. If you’re hurt, I’m there with you. I’m here, Marc. I’m here.”
“But I fucked up,” he shook his head sadly, his voice breaking. “All that work, all that fucking work to stay sober and I...”
“Exactly,” you agreed, carefully sliding your arms around him from behind, watching for any sign of physical discomfort from him. “You made a choice tonight and you hate the choice you made. That’s all that matters. You’re the person that you answer to. What you say goes. If you want to do better for someone, it has to be you. Not me, not Steven. You. Nothing I do will ever change that. Nothing I ever say will keep someone from doing what they decide to do.” 
You squeezed him gently. “So no fights from me. No lectures. But I’m not going to baby you either. If we’re going to drink, that’s the way it’s going to be. You and I can accept that reality or a different one. A reality with no drinking. That’s why I took the drink tonight. It’s just a drink. It’s not evil. It doesn’t have a motive. It’s just liquid in a bottle. It’s what you feel right before you drink -that’s what you have to ask yourself, Marc. What happened right then?”
His body seemed to crumple in on itself and he slowly sank down to the cool tile of the kitchen floor, his back pushing up against the cabinets as he shook his head sorrowfully.
“I can’t,” he gasped, tears trailing down his beautiful, moonlit cheeks. Shaking his head despondently, he turned his broken gaze to yours as you joined him on the floor. “I can’t...everything will change now, I just can’t.”
How could he do this to you...to Steven? He was trying so hard to hide everything he’d learned from Steven - that they were not alone in this body. That there was another. And Khonshu. Stupid, fucking Khonshu still had them enslaved. How could he ever tell the two of you? He had only known for two days and it was killing him inside.
“Come here, baby,” you soothed, reaching to pull him into your arms. Something had happened to set him off. You were certain of it now, more than before, and despite your calm demeanor, you were scared.
Your worries both eased and doubled when his body softened in your embrace and a British accent greeted your ears.
“Darling...what’s all this, then?” Steven asked you, nodding to his state of undress and your positions on the hard kitchen floor. 
“Steven,” you breathed, pulling him in for a hug. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he sweetly replied, granting you a soft kiss. “You alright, love?” 
Before you could answer, he shook his head slightly, “Bollocks, got a bit of a headache. Has Marc been drinking?”
The look on your face told him everything. 
“Bloody hell,” he sighed, rubbing his temples. “Two years sober right down the drain.”
Honestly, the sobriety thing, although crushing for him, was not the highest priority right now. Something was wrong with Marc. 
“Steven, let’s go to bed,” you decided, standing up and offering him your hands. 
Several minutes later, you and your fiancé slid under the covers, freshly washed up and ready for bed. 
“Steven,” you softly repeated his name, running your fingertips over his jaw line, the way you had done with Marc earlier. “I love you.”
“I quite love you too, darling,” he sweetly replied, kissing you softly. “Now tell me what’s the matter.”
“Do you...are you aware of anything going on with Marc?” you asked as Steven’s arms slid securely around you. “I think something’s wrong - like big picture wrong. We didn’t have a fight, like - I don’t think the problem is with us. Did something happen?”
Rubbing your back soothingly, Steven answered the best he could. “Not that I know of. Marc has honestly been a bit closed off with me lately. He is somewhat of a quiet bloke from time to time, but...yeah, I’m pretty certain he’s not been exactly an open book these last few days.”
“Okay,” you breathed, trying to think of what could have happened. “I’m sorry for putting you in the middle, my love. I try not to do that, but he was so upset tonight, and the drinking...”
“He..he didn’t upset you, darling? Or...hurt you? Did he?” His warm brown eyes darkened in concern.
“What, Steven, of course not,” you insisted, sitting up in bed. “You two would never hurt me, I know that.”
“Of course, love, but it’s just...” Steven hesitated, sitting up to join you. “Marc isn’t always at his best when he’s been drinking and...when I was holding you, just then, you--you’re trembling.”
It was true. You hadn’t realized it, but you were more upset than you’d realized. 
Letting out a sigh of defeat, you reached for your fiancé, whispering his name pleadingly as you climbed across his lap. Strong arms wrapped around your back, gripping you firmly as he pulled you into his chest. 
“I’ve got you,” he breathed against your lips. “It’s alright, love.”
Feeling so safe in his arms, against his strong body, you pressed your lips against his, your fingers caressing up his neck, into his curls. Your body melted into his embrace as you slid your tongue over his. Admittedly, you were feeling a little desperate and Steven was most likely intoxicated, but it was heavenly to feel him pulling you into him as your tongues tangled, hands grasping to get somehow closer.
You went on like that for a short while, rubbing your body against his, sucking on his tongue the way he loved, fingers threaded through his curls, which made him almost feral. Lurching forward, he tumbled on top of you, ignoring the pounding in his head and running his hands up your bare thighs. 
Despite how wonderful you felt, he paused, touching his forehead to yours for a moment of reprieve. 
“Steven, are you okay?” You managed to whisper between kisses, looping your arms around his neck. “Your head still hurting?” You asked because you could tell he was holding back a little. You had been kissing for a while and his hands had yet to travel underneath your underwear or (Marc’s) oversized white t-shirt. 
Easing his forehead down to your collarbone, Steven pressed a kiss to the soft skin of your chest. “Too much bloody whiskey,” he murmured. “Sorry, darling.”
“It’s okay. Feels good,” you breathed on his ear, which made him shiver.
“Didn’t mean to get too distracted, love,” he conceded, rolling off of you and rubbing his temples. “I know you’re worried about Marc. I am too, if I’m honest.”
There were no answers for you that night. Steven realized quickly that he needed some sleep and the two of you hoped that Marc might be there the next morning to give you some answers.
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hannieehaee · 5 months
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omg first of all i want to say that i love your writing, you’re amazing 😫
secondly, i saw that you opened your request for 1k followers, so i was wondering if you could do and angst-to-fluff reaction including hip hop unit? the specific one i had in my mind was about finding out that you’re pregnant and some initial anger/shock/disbelief coming from the boys, but i totally understand if you won’t do it, because i know not everyone may be comfortable with this topic. if so, feel free to ignore it or do whatever else you want 🫶🏼
lots of love, anon 🥰
finding out you're pregnant - hhu
hhu, vu, pu
content: mentions of pregnancy, mentions of marriage, established relationship, initial negative reactions, fluffy outcome for all of them.
wc: 635
a/n: thank u so much for ur kind words anon T-T and tysm for requesting!! sorry i took so long ;-; it was a lil hard for me to gauge a negative reaction out of them tbh i like to assume theyd be supportive straight away but i hope u liked what i came up with anyway <3
masterlist
seungcheol -
he had always wanted to be a dad. it was one of his biggest dreams ever since he could remember. the moment he met you, he was sure he wanted to be the father of your children, often even daydreaming about it whenever he'd see you play family with him and kkuma. he was unsure as to why his first reaction upon you skeptically telling him you might be pregnant was to ice you out. he felt like a total asshole, not knowing how else to react to such life-changing news. he knew it was just the initial shock of it. he did want kids. he was ecstatic. he was just too shocked to react properly, hurting your feelings in the process.
it would take him a lot of apologizing to get you to forgive him for bis stupidity, having grown terrified that he mightve been mad at the news. he'd reassure you that he was happier than ever, almost crying at the thought of a daughter to raise with the love of his life. would eternally feel guilty he had made you doubt how much he'd love a family with you even for a second.
wonwoo -
this was all he had ever wanted ever since the two of you got together. he had immediately envisioned a family with you, a house, a long future together. he would've unfortunately reacted a bit too shocked at the news when you had first broke them to him. it was just .. you hadn't planned it. yes, he wanted it, but he didn't think it'd come this soon in your relationship. he would be initially too shocked to show any genuine happiness at it. in no way would he express disappointment or any negative feeling, but his lack of enthusiasm would have you rethinking things.
it wouldn't be until later in the day when he'd snap at himself, realizing how good these news were. would uncharacteristically begin getting emotional from how happy he was at the prospect of starting a family with you, apologizing for not showing his true emotions to you immediately after hearing the news.
mingyu -
he'd enter a state of shock, which was very out of character for the usually excitable man. his immediate lack of reaction would have you retracting, feeling like you'd somehow done something wrong. he'd immediately feel terrible about it, lightheartedly reassuring you that he was happy about it and that he'd support you no matter what.
i feel like he'd be the type to ponder over it for a few days, probably even coming to the conclusion of proposing to you if he knew you decided to have the baby. at that point he'd be happier than ever to know he was now starting a family with you.
vernon -
he was still so young. yeah, he wanted to be a dad, specially to your children, but he was at the height of his career, meaning that the time he was home was already limited as it was. he had always assumed he'd get to have a few years off after being an idol for as long as he was, allowing him to lock himself away and start a family with you. this was not how he planned it, something he had stupidly let you know when you told him the news, completely forgetting to tell you how incredibly happy the news of starting a family with you made him.
he'd feel devastated at the dejection in your demeanor after his stupid reaction, immediately backtracking and telling you how happy he was, how badly he wanted to start a family with you. there would be a lot of hurdles considering his life, but he would be willing to go through all of them if it meant building a family with you.
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amica-aenigmata-naboo · 5 months
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Eternal
Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1.2K WC
Masterlist
Warnings: yelling, Astarion being a dick, arguing, angst, hurt/comfort, #sadgirlhours @ me bitches (it’s me, I’m bitches), ends fluffy because I can't stay mad at my baby
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Astarion had been in a bad mood the whole day. You noticed it this morning when you woke up without him. You found him down by the stream, he had ignored you a bit. You left him be, thinking he was just not in the mood to talk that early. However, he seemed to be avoiding you and whenever you were in his general vicinity he seemed… irritated? You were beyond confused, everything had been going well for months, you had little bickering spats but nothing serious. Your worst fears broke into your mind; did he want to break up? No, of course not. That’s silly. You willed your feet to walk to him at the campfire. He ignored your presence until you sat next to him. Close enough to bump shoulders. Astarion shuddered away from you. That hurt, yet you persisted. You were jovial and elated, talking and laughing with the others around the fire. You turned to kiss Astarion’s cheek and hold his hand. 
He scoffed before untangling himself from you, “Gods Y/N stop! Stop being so clingy its fucking infuriating.” he said loudly. 
Camp was silent, the others looking at Astarion before looking at you. You were petrified, your breathing had stopped. You felt your eyes welling up with tears. You slowly stood up from the log and started walking to your tent.
“Y/N…” Karlach whispered. Shadowheart gently held your arm before you patted her hand, giving her the most broken smile. You kept walking until you were able to curl up in a ball, in private and let your sobs out into your pillow. 
--------------------------
“What the fuck?” Shadowheart snapped at Astarion as soon as you were inside your tent. 
“What? Lovers can’t quarrel?” Astarion huffed out looking away from everyone. The ball of shame inside him started to consume him. 
“Quarrel? Yes. Yell and demean? No. You hurt them Astarion, lovers don’t do that.” Gale chimed in.
“Always tell the truth is my motto, they needed to hear it.” Astarion waved everyone off, trying his best to sound his regular posh self. 
“Yeah, well, here's a truth for you - you're an asshole.” Karlach said, glaring before her and Shadowheart sauntered off to your tent to comfort you. 
Wyll walked away shaking his head in disapproval. Gale walked to his tent but stopped in front of Astarion, softly clapping his hand onto his shoulder. “They worry you know? About everything when it comes to you two. Their thoughts about it are so loud I hear them nonstop. It's quite deafening actually. Do you want to know what I hear now?” 
Astarion’s eyes turned soft, he was almost afraid to know but nodded anyway.
“Fear. Of losing you. Of overstepping your physical boundaries. Of being kicked out of camp. Of existing… I know you feel deeply for Y/N but they do not deserve to feel this way. If you are going to treat them like this, end it. I do not like to see my friends in anguish, and right now, they are suffering. Thanks to you.” Astarion had never seen Gale so stoic, so protective. And worst of all, Gale was right. 
Astarion hung his head, he rubbed his hands over his face in frustration before pushing past Gale. Astarion quietly made his way to your tent. The sight inside broke him down completely. There you were, crying into Karlach’s chest as Shadowheart held your hand and whispered honeyed words to you. Astarion gathered some courage before taking in a sharp breath and walking in. The women immediately glared at him. If looks could kill, he’d be back in that coffin, 6 feet under. He put his hands up, showing he meant no harm. You sat up, finally looking at Astarion. You wiped your face of tears. You nodded at the women, letting them know you could hold your own in this moment. They left the tent, both of them “accidentally” shoving Astarion’s shoulder. 
Your lip was quivering and you felt a lump in your throat, you swallowed it down before saying “Say your piece.”
Scared! Run! Hide! Astarion’s tadpole wriggled and screamed at him. You really were scared of him, the thought itself killed him. 
“Little love…” he whispered, trying to take your hand. You yanked it away and scooted further away from him. Hurt flashed across his eyes and he had nobody to blame but himself. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’m sorry…” he spoke quickly, unfamiliar still with trying to communicate his feelings. 
“Did I do something wrong?” you whispered, the lump forming again quickly. 
Astarion wanted so badly to hold you. Truth was you weren’t clingy. You were perfect. A fucking saint actually. He was incredibly lucky to have such a kind soul love him. He loved you more than anyone, anything. All the malice in his body melted away in that moment. “No, my sweet. I… Truth be told, I have been in a sour mood for a while.” he did his best to explain.
Your face dropped even further, “Do you want to break up?” your voice wavered heavily. You didn’t want to keep him trapped if that is how he felt. It would break you but not all broken things are lost. You would mend, eventually. He would be a jagged scar across your heart and soul. 
Astarion’s head snapped up, “No!” he said frantically, crawling a bit closer to you. You backed up a bit before stilling, he looked… guilty? “I… I am sorry… It’s still hard to talk about how I feel… and I am… anxious.” he forced out. 
“About?” you asked softly, straightening your back so you and Astarion were about an arms length away.
“I… worry. About us… after all this is over… about what life looks like. I’m… I’m afraid that if I cannot walk in the sun you will…” he stuttered out his response, fear was now his to host inside. 
“Leave?” you said with a look of surprise on your face. 
Astarion nodded, eyes flitting between yours. He looked vulnerable and subdued. 
“I will follow you anywhere. I would burn the world for you. I would slay the sun and bathe the world in darkness for you. Nothing can separate my soul from yours. I love you.” You said with confidence, and yet there was gentleness in it. 
Astarion’s eyes glossed over a bit. “I love you… it’s why I’m so scared… I don’t want to be alone again… I’m so sorry. ” he let out a sniffle. 
That was enough for you. You pulled him into a tight hug, “And you never will be, not if I have any say in the matter.”  
He hugged you back just as tight. “I love you. I love your touch. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you.” he mumbled into the crook of your neck. 
You shushed him and kissed his cheek, pulling back to look at him. “I am yours. You are mine. From this day until my last day. The sun has no bearing on the matter.” you whispered on his lips. He nipped your lip before kissing you hungrily.
“Good…” he said in between kisses, “selfless as I am, I’m not ready to let you go.”
You giggled as he kissed over your face, his hands wandering as far as you’d allow. You drank him in, both of your worries devoured by your equal, undying love for one another.
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Naboo's Note:
Hello!!! Another little fic that popped into my head today. Work is exhausting and its only Monday :') ughhhhhhh...... might have to wait a bit to get another fic out but I hope you guy's like this one! As always - thank you for all the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests! Stay safe out there ya'll - ILYSM <3 xoxoxoxoxo
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hischierswhore · 17 days
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eternal pining | jack hughes
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pairing: childhood bff!reader x jack hughes
warnings: major angst // unrequited pining // slight cursing // probably other stuff that i missed
author’s note: this might be the longest fic i’ve ever written??? anyways i’m backkkk and hopefully i’ll start being consistent soon. i have so much planned and this has been in the works for quite a while now.
You were sitting on the couch at the Hughes lake house as you discussed your plans for the day. Well, more like you were listening to Ellen & Jim as they told you that they would be leaving on a trip for a few days and Jack was just there. He was on his phone, typing aggressively like the world would end if he didn’t finish whatever he was typing.
A sigh left Ellen’s lips when she realized that her middle child wasn’t even paying attention to what she was saying. You looked at Luke & Quinn, who both also saw that he was just not focusing. Quinn extended his arm to hit Jack’s knee in attempt to get his attention.
You said bye to Ellen & Jim, wishing them a safe trip before helping them carry their bags to their car. As you made your way back inside, you plopped right back into the same spot you were in before.
Moments passed and you turned your phone off, sparking conversation with Quinn & Luke about what the groups plans were for today.
“What do you guys wanna do?” You asked, hoping someone would come up with something fun.
“Boat day?” Luke suggested and you nodded in agreement.
“Are you gonna join us, Jack?” you questioned as you turned around to look at your best friend. His eyes didn’t shift from the device in his hands, causing you to roll your eyes.
You were annoyed, so you moved off the couch and walked to your room to change into your swimsuit.
"Where are you guys going?" Jack asked as you, Quinn & Luke walked towards the deck, his phone now off and on the couch.
"Boat day. We were talking about it but you were too indulged in your phone to even contribute to the conversation" Quinn stated as Jack's mouth formed an 'o' shape.
"Are you joining us or not?" Luke asked, waiting for his brother to respond so he could finally get some sun.
“Oh uh yeah. I'll join y'all. Just give me a few to change" He hopped up from his spot on the couch and went to his room to change while you made your way outside, the other Hughes brothers following.
10 minutes passed and Jack had not yet come outside. You were all getting rather impatient and annoyed with the boy.
"Can we just go without him?" Luke sighed, beyond frustrated with his brother. Just as he said that, the boy trotted out of the house and down the dock to where you all sat. You all immediately noticed his lack of swim trunks and rather a button-down shirt & some jeans.
"Hey guys. Sorry to bail on you all but I've got a date in like-" He looks down at his phone for a moment to check the time. "20 minutes so I've gotta get going. See you all later" Jack waved as he hugged everyone goodbye.
Your heart shattered the moment you heard "a date". You had been hopelessly in love with your best friend since you were kids. You'd known the Hughes brothers since you were 6, and you'd all been inseparable since day 1.
The ever-growing crush you had on Jack was evident to everyone around you except for him. Quinn and Luke would relentlessly tease you when you three were together. Hell, even Trevor and Nico would join in on the teasing whenever you saw them.
You faked a smile at his words, hoping he couldn’t see the tears welling in your eyes. You looked around at Quinn and Luke, who had already been looking in your direction, knowing damn well what you were thinking.
"Have fun, J. See you later" You said as you looked down, seeing as your mood had now been more ruined than it was before and you didn't want to deal with all your emotions, or rather the cause of these emotions, right now. You knew that if you made eye-contact with the boy, you would have a breakdown.
Jack jogs back up to the house and shuts the patio door, leaving you and the two other Hughes brothers on the boat for the day.
2 pairs of eyes immediately found your figure as you curled into a ball on the couch and let it all out. Both boys immediately came to your side for comfort, knowing how difficult this must be for you.
Luke rubbed your back as you sobbed while Quinn held you in his arms, holding you ever so carefully.
Hours passed before you all decided to head inside.
“I’m gonna head up to my room. If he asks, I'm out. I don't want to talk to him right now" You told the remaining brothers before going into your room and locking yourself away.
— later —
Jack arrived back at the lake house.
“Hey, where’s Y/n?” He asked as he wandered into the living room, noticing his brothers sitting on the couch watching a movie but you were nowhere in sight.
“She went out” Quinn simply said, not feeling the need to give his younger brother details.
"Out? What do you mean she went out?"
"She's not here, Jack. She wanted to go out so she did" Luke shrugged, trying to focus his attention back on the movie.
"And you both let her go by herself?!" Jack was practically shouting.
"She's 22 years old, Jack. She can make her own decisions" Quinn paused the movie to turn his attention to his brother. Jack let out a huff and sat next to his brothers to watch whatever movie they had put on, still ever so slightly upset that you had gone out without him.
20 minutes had passed since that initial exchange when Luke's phone got a notification. He glanced down at it and immediately got up and excused himself to the kitchen with a simple "I'll be back".
“What’s up with him?” Jack whispered to Quinn, who shrugged and paid no mind to his brother's curiosity. Moments later, Luke emerged from the kitchen and raced upstairs quickly.
You had texted Luke asking him to bring you some medication for the growing migraine you had from crying nonstop. He quietly knocked on the door to avoid attracting Jack's attention. You slowly unlocked the door and let the boy in as he handed you the pills and a bottle of water.
"You good?" He asked as you had a hand on your forehead and your eyes were red & puffy.
"I'll be fi-" The words got lost in your throat as you heard footsteps ascending the stairs and you saw the one person you did not want to see: Jack.
You muttered "shit" as you tried to hide behind Luke's tall frame, which was to no avail.
"Y/n? What're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be out?" Jack asked as he made his way to your doorway.
"I uhh, came back early. Didn't feel too great" You lied through your teeth.
"How'd you come in? And when did you even come in?" Jack questioned you as he leaned against the door frame.
"Came in through the back door. Didn't wanna make too much noise to interrupt the movie" You slowly tried to push your door closed, but Jack was blocking the way.
Luke was stood there, watching the encounter unfold.
"Oh what's that Quinn? We need more popcorn? I'll grab some" He shouted down the stairs to remove himself from the extremely tense conversation he was witnessing.
“What’s wrong?” Jack's voice was low as he slowly pushed the door open and grabbed your hand.
“I’m fine, Jack. I just don’t feel good” You were on the verge of tears as you pulled yourself out of his hold.
“You look like you've been crying, Y/n/n... did someone say something to you?" Jack's anger slowly increasing at the thought of someone hurting your feelings.
"Nobody said anything. More so what you did. But I'll be fine, I'll get over it" Thankfully, he had back up enough to give you space to close the door, and his reflexes weren't fast enough to grab the door handle before you shut and locked it, leaving him on the other side of the door.
Your words left Jack extremely confused. More so what you did. What in the hell did he even do?
Once you had locked the door, you slid down the back of it as more tears spilled freely onto your cheeks. Why did you have to fall for your best friend?
Jack stomped down the stairs, confusion & frustration written all over his face as he threw himself onto the couch.
“What the hell did I even do?” He screamed into one of the cushions. Quinn & Luke exchange a look before ultimately deciding to tell him bits of the truth.
“You went on that date” Luke said quietly, praying that Jack has heard him the first time so he wouldn’t have to repeat himself. Fortunately for Luke, Jack lifted his head up as soon as the words left his mouth.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Jack was more confused than before. He didn’t understand what was going on.
“How is it that we all see it except for you, dude? She’s in love with you. She’s been in love with you for years now, and you’ve never once noticed or acknowledged her feelings. It’s evident to everyone in our lives except for you. You leaving on that date today made her feel like shit” Quinn spoke.
“Well, it made her feel more like shit than she already did before. You neglected her all morning because you were on your phone and then when we all agreed to go on the boat, you bailed on us and she felt more forgotten than ever before” Luke added onto Quinn’s speech.
Jack sat there in shock. There’s no way that you, his best friend of 16 years, were in love with him. He couldn’t fathom the thought, but slowly the realization sank in and now he felt horrible for his behavior. He didn’t mean to hurt you. He never knew.
He didn’t say anything before he raced up the stairs and knocked on your door but received no response.
“Y/n please let me in. I want to talk to you. Please hear me out” Jack pleaded as he rested his ear against the door, listening closely in hopes of hearing movement on the other side.
Silence. All that could be heard was the sound of the fan circulating air throughout the room.
Quinn & Luke had followed him up the stairs and watched as Jack slowly fell to his knees infront of your door. They’d never seen him like this before.
“J, she needs some space right now. Let her get some rest and talk to her in the morning. It’s the least she deserves” Luke suggested as he placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder.
— the next morning —
You woke up to a massive migraine, probably from all the crying you did last night. You felt uneasy as you stood from your bed and made your way to the connected bathroom.
You knew you’d have to see him again. You couldn’t avoid him, hell it was his house.
You braced yourself for the day as you washed your face and changed into something more comfortable before heading downstairs for breakfast.
You overheard a conversation taking place as you silently made your way down the stairs, in hopes of not alerting anyone of your presence quite yet.
Just as you turned the corner and entered the kitchen, silence filled the room. You chose to not acknowledge it, just as Jack had not acknowledged your feelings for him.
You felt multiple pairs of eyes on you as you grabbed yourself a bowl to pour some cereal. You slowly carried your bowl to the dining room, where everyone was seated.
It was only then that you had noticed the extra eyes staring at you. Seated at the table included Quinn, Luke, Jack, Trevor, Cole & Nico. The latter 3 must’ve flown in early in the morning because they weren’t here last night when everything happened.
You softly wave at the 3 boys before placing your bowl on the table.
“Morning” you quietly said as you sat on the bench between Quinn & Luke, which was ironically as far away from Jack as possible.
Small talk is made and you barely speak unless you’re spoken to. You quietly converse with everyone except for the middle Hughes brother. He hasn’t said a single thing to you this morning except for stare at you occasionally when he thought you didn’t notice. Of course you did, you always noticed.
Breakfast finished & you kindly collected everyone’s dishes and headed towards the kitchen to clean them.
You stood infront of the sink on your own for about 5 minutes when you felt a presence behind you.
“Can we talk?” You knew that notice all too well. You placed the plate in the sink as you turned around slowly, resting the plane of your hands on the edge of the counter.
You took in his appearance for the first time since he left for his date yesterday afternoon. His eyes were swollen, much like yours, and his hands were fidgeting at the back of his neck.
“Sure” You simply spoke, not wanting to be the one to bring up the elephant in the room. Jack cleared his throat before he spoke.
“Could we maybe go outside? I’ll get Luke to do the dishes or something so we can talk in private” He suggested as you nodded your head.
Jack led the way to the backyard before holding the door open with a simple “After you”.
You sat on the couch next to the fire pit, leaving Jack to sit next to you.
You sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the calming breeze the morning had brought. That peace was interrupted when Jack cleared his throat and turned to face you.
“I want to start with an apology. I genuinely had no idea that you even felt neglected yesterday. I was a shit friend and I shouldn’t have ditched you for someone else. I know I messed up. And I’m sorry that it’s taken me til now to realize how you feel towards me. All this time I thought it was just you being friendly, I never knew you liked me. I was so confused by what you meant yesterday that the realization didn’t click until Luke & Quinn said it. I couldn’t believe the fact that I had been the one to hurt you and I will forever be sorry for that”
Jack looked into your eyes, and he swears he could see your heart shatter into a million pieces at every word. God, how he wishes he wasn’t the reason behind it.
“I’ve been in love with you since we were 6, Jack. I’ve spent years pining after you, only to watch you pine after every other girl on this planet. This summer was different though. You paid no mind to other girls and you treated me like I was yours, and I stupidly believed that things would change between us. That was until yesterday. You act all lovey with me one second and then suddenly I’m nonexistent the next” You watched the frown grow on his face as you spoke.
“I’ve never been in a relationship because I’ve been holding out hope for you, Jack. Hope for you to finally come to your senses and see that I’ve been here waiting for you this whole time, stupidly thinking that my chance will come” Jack stayed quiet as you let it all out.
“I’m in love with you, Jack. I have been for the longest time and I really shouldn’t be” You cried into the hands as he stared at you in silence.
“Y/n/n…” Jack was at a loss for words. He didn’t know you felt that strongly about him, or that you watched everything unfold from the sidelines of his life.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/n/n”
“It’s okay, Jack. I’ll be fine, I’ll get over it. I just don’t know if I handle anymore heartbreak” You sobbed as Jack brought you into his embrace, holding you in his arms.
Despite you feeling this hurricane of emotions, his arms still felt like home to you. He felt like home.
“I hope I’m not too late” He whispered softly, causing you to remove yourself from is hold, a look of confusion spread across your face.
“Huh?” You sniffled as you wiped your nose.
“I’ve been in love with you from the moment I met you. Not even, the second I saw you holding that little bear of yours as you walked into your new house, I knew you were someone special. Someone who would be the only consistent person in my life besides my family. I always thought you saw me as a friend and never anything more, hence all the failed relationships. I’ve tried to get over you so much since I thought you’d never return the feeling. I looked for you in other girls, but none of them were you, so they never lasted. You have been the only person I have truly wanted since we were 6, Y/n/n. I now know that you’ve felt the same this entire time, and I have somehow misread everything for 16 years. The timing of this is horrible and I’m afraid I may be too late, but please know I do love you, Y/n/n. I always have & I always will” Jack confessed as he held your hand in his.
You searched his eyes for some sign of this being a sick and twisted joke, a prank that would forever haunt you and ultimately be the end of your friendship with the boy.
But you found none of that. You found love & hope & sadness. He hoped that the love he had for you was enough to fill the hole of sadness that he had accidentally burned into your heart. He hoped that you would forgive him and give him a chance to redeem himself.
A shy smile appeared on your face before you removed your hands from his to wipe the tears on your face, and the tears that were slowly trickling down his.
“I love you too, J. You’ll always have a chance” A goofy smile took over your face as the boy brought you into a tight hug, holding you there for what felt like an eternity.
After who know how long, he finally pulled away and let you breathe.
“I’m so happy right now that I could kiss you, but I won’t solely because we just made up and I’m not trying to ruin my chances & lose you again”
“Oh shut up” You placed both hands on the sides of his face & pulled him for a kiss.
The world felt like it had stopped but like it was also spinning simultaneously. The butterflies you got in your stomach when his lips touched yours felt heavenly.
Jack, who was a little taken aback by the kiss, immediately kissed you back once he realized what was happening. One of his hands found its way to your face and the other at your hip.
You wish you could live in this moment forever, and you genuinely believed you could, that is until you heard cheering coming from behind you. You both pulled apart to see Quinn, Luke, Cole, Trevor & Nico all cheering from the patio.
“THEY FINALLY DID IT!!!” Trevor shouted as he jumped up and down.
“Hurt her again, Hughes & you’re gonna regret it” Nico said before making his way back inside the house. You looked back to Jack to see him gently caressing the back of your hand.
“Wouldn’t even think about it” he smiled as he pressed a kiss to your temples, holding you closer than ever before.
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saiidahyunie · 5 months
Text
daydreaming
minatozaki sana x soccerplayer!reader (pt.1)
synopsis: you seem to have a really bad habit of spacing out. it’s even worse when you’re spacing out while staring at your best friend sana, but that shouldn’t be the case when you and her are flirting with each other already anyway. 
wc: 6k 
warnings: mostly fluff ; a sprinkle of angst ; slightly suggestive (?) ; mentions of food 
a/n: hi hi hiii, new blog, new account, and first post? feel free to leave any comments, asks, or even feedback, i hope you guys will like this! 
had this idea brewing in my head for a while now after playing fifa myplayer career mode. so this is my own little twist to the prompt inspired by @spidergirlanon with jihyo, but swap her out with sana instead for mine! i do intend to make this into a mini series so the next parts will be on the way eventually (if college doesn’t kill me by then) so please enjoy and also show some love to her as well!!! :))
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pt.2 pt.3 pt.4
you knew it was gonna be a good day with a hit on the crossbar at the end of morning practice.
sure, you would’ve wished to hit it on the first try and be done with it, but going overboard and hitting five out of five attempts left you with some scattered cheers from your teammates watching as they cleaned up the surrounding area of cones and soccer balls. 
you also chipped in a small contribution by putting the remaining balls in the last two bags near the goalpost. making your way towards the bench with four sets of bleachers behind it, you set your eyes on one person sitting on the first row of seats. 
now sana didn’t really mind coming along with you to your practice sessions no matter if it was early, late, rain, or shine; heck, she even offered to drive you at times just to change things up despite her questionable driving skills that made you wonder if her passing the drivers test was entirely a fluke. but instead of sleeping in on saturday mornings, she decided to spend them with you. 
you walk up to the set of bleachers without her knowing as she was hunched over watching one of her numerous netflix shows that she changes every other week because she could never fully commit to watching one series entirely. waving your set of shin pads over her phone causes her to look up with a scrunched look on her face in a slight annoyance.
“you seem pretty invested with that new show now.” you said, smiling at your antic as sana paused her show, slapping your thigh lightly. “I already told you that I'll try sticking to one a week yesterday.” sana playfully said, getting up with her small handbag on her shoulder. “you finished?” 
you simply nodded, “yeah, I also bring good news.” sana tilts her head in with a quizzical look on her face on top of her lips set in a slight pout.
“no training next week.” you said. “coach rain said that he’ll be out of town running some trials for a second division team out of state.” sana’s eyes shot slightly wider than usual, raising her eyebrow after your little announcement. “are you sure you’re not pranking me? you said that last time!” sana asks, checking her phone after for a quick second before giving back her attention to you. 
“it’s not a prank this time.” you respond giggling as you turn to grab your bag from the bench, quickly fishing through for your car keys. you turn back soon after to see sana fixing her hair tying it in a messy bun. you sort of pause any movement for a small second. 
a second for everything that’s happening around you, but an eternity in your head when you laid eyes on sana again.
the appearance of sana was always breathtaking to look at regardless of what she was doing. her sense of style didn’t go to disarray as she perfectly pulled off your oversized gray hoodie that you let her borrow along with her flared yoga pants that would one-up the models wearing it on the website when buying in addition to the small white prada handbag that you picked for her when you went designer brand shopping two weeks ago. her fair skin that seemed to illuminate in the sunlight close to being angelic. her light brown hair which looked seemingly perfect even if she put it up or down. the way her face contoured in angles you didn’t even think it was possible for one to have. in your opinion, she had the ideal side profile in addition to her nose being flawless. there was no denying the fact that she was pretty, (wait not pretty- beautiful) and you were left in wonder sometimes how you managed to have someone like her as your best friend. 
“is something wrong y/n?” sana asks, breaking your trance as you shook your head in response.
 “yea- no, i’m good, i thought i forgot-” 
“looks like y/n’s daydreaming again.” 
“you know you’re unbelievable sometimes y/n?” 
keeping your eyes on sana she smiled at you after hearing the pair of voices’ remarks. you mirrored her lovely smile as you turned around to see the duo of maki and mia watching you two from a short distance.
“don’t you two have cleaning responsibilities?” you quickly ask the pair, pointing to the last pile of ball bags placed to the left of them. “you don’t want coach to get mad at you guys let alone run laps again do ya?” 
maki scoffed, “yeah, but you’re not denying the fact that you were daydreaming right in front of us weren’t ya?” mia quietly snickered behind you, noticing a faint hint of red spread out on your face. you shoulder your bag over your right side, lightly raising your fist in response to their little inside joke against you. 
“i could give both of you guys red ass right now if i wanted to.” you declared, eyeing a ball set next to the bench. maki picked up on your sentence and was quick to put hands behind his butt; reminiscing the flashbacks of what unfolded last time he pulled a quick joke about you and sana. “Han was lucky he was sick that time, but i’m sure that he would love to see it happen-”
“okay okay, you win this time captain.”mia replied quickly to admit his defeat as he and Han both turned around heading towards the last pile of ball bags placed next to the goal. after internalizing your small victory, you then turned back to sana with a subtle smirk on her face.
“what?” 
“oh nothing. i know it’s just regular banter between the three of you. im still shocked that you’re the youngest between them. crazy to think about, but cute nonetheless.” 
“so you’re saying that my age is apparently more important than my contrasting appearance? don’t even get me started about my first impression of your dad.” 
sana taps your shoulder, “hey! you should be glad my mom convinced him that you weren’t the cliche jock type you see in high school movies.” you place your hand over your shoulder that sana hit, raising both your hands as you gave in to her argument. “alright, you made your point. now lets go before the morning rush starts at chae’s,” you said as you both began walking towards the parking lot. 
meeting sana could’ve gone differently looking back at it now.  the last thing you expected to happen was an attempted knuckleball skyrocketing over your small goal followed by a broken window and an ear piercing screech at your neighbor's house from your front yard. what made it even worse was the fact that sana and her family had moved in just next door at the time. after getting an earful from her dad while also getting another tangent from your dad, it eventually led to both your parents meeting sana’s parents properly. at first, you were reluctant about coming along to meet, especially following what you did, but your mom convinced you that it’ll be fine and how there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. 
“just think of it as getting off on the wrong foot! besides, you already apologized to mr and mrs. minatozaki!” your mom said to you, rubbing your shoulders to ease the nervousness from your body.
“mom, how do you expect me to be fine after blasting a ball into our new neighbor’s window?” you look up while asking, putting both of your hands in the pockets of your stained sweatpants. 
“i already told you, there’s nothing to worry about sweetie, your dad already said that he’ll fix the window.” your mom glanced over at you, placing her hand on your cheek.
you sighed as the three of you stood in front of the minatozakis’ new home. a few quick rings of the doorbell followed by the door opening, you see the quick exchanges of “hellos” and handshakes as you made your way inside the house. your mom taps your shoulder, pointing to her feet to signify taking off your shoes. simply nodding at your mother’s request, you sat yourself down on the steps of the two story house, untying your shoes while adjusting your socks in the process. 
while you were doing that, you overheard a third voice near the dining room as well as your mother’s remark whenever she sees something nice and cute like a pet. thinking nothing of it, you continue to fix up the worn socks you had as you hear the rush of steps on the wooden floor. your eyes catch something moving on your right side and as you turn your head to the left, a girl who looked to be about your age was sitting next to you. 
“sorry, did i scare you?” the girl questions, setting herself on the stairs placing her gaze towards you.
“n-no, it’s just that i didn’t know that you were here in this house too.” you responded, covering your startled state by fake coughing while turning away from her stare. 
“so you actually thought that screech was from my mom?” the girl asks, straightening her legs on the stair steps; putting more of her undivided attention to you.
“well…yeah, but i couldn’t really tell exactly whose scream it was.” you mumble sitting upright slightly turning your body towards the girl next to you.
the dark haired girl makes eye contact with you, also slightly turning inward to face you; mirroring your seated posture as well. you slightly suck in a quick breath through your parted lips, never breaking the innocent gaze you and her were sharing together. your mind ran a quick analysis of her features: her dark brown eyes, the subtle chubbiness of her cheeks almost mimicking a hamster, the way her lips were flatlined with both corners angling up to give a derpy smile. you couldn’t understand it back then, but this girl had an aura early on, almost entrancing you entirely at any given moment. 
“you’re not as shy as you look.” the girl says. “anyway, your face was so funny when my dad was talking to you yesterday about our window.” 
you furrowed your brows together following her statement. “wha- wait you saw?” 
she hummed, nodding her head in response.
“my dad isn’t the type of person to get mad, but you looked so scared.” she answered. “i was at the top of the stairs when the whole thing happened.” 
“i- i guess i was too caught up getting a lesson from your da-”
she lightly laughs at your explanation. “it’s ok. he knows that it was an accident so there’s no need for you to get scared.” 
“i wasn’t scared!” you counter, trying to come up with a good reason why you looked liked that. the girl leans a little bit closer trying to hear your poorly constructed alibi, but your mind couldn’t come up with anything to pass. 
you sigh, slouching your body forward in defeat as the girl beside you simply smiled at your distressed state. you return eye contact with her soon after. 
“i’m sana by the way.” she says.
“i’m y/n.” you reply back as you quickly look down at your mismatched socks. 
“y/n? that’s a cute name.” she notes, her voice beaming with a bright tone.
you scoff at her observation. “my name isn’t all that, but i’ll take your compliment.” you say cracking a quick exchange of soft smiles.
“kids! dinner is ready!” your mom yells from the dining room behind the stairs.
“coming!” you and sana both say in unison as you and her made a break to the kitchen.
what followed after that fateful dinner would become a six year friendship between you and sana. to say that you two were inseparable would be one hell of an understatement. you and her were basically attached at the hip all throughout the school years.   
there was never a dull moment between you and sana, the days were always filled with random antics, laughs, impulsive decisions to procrastinate on homework by getting something to eat, or even doing anything and everything in her house or yours. aside from your parents in addition to Dex, who was practically your day one since kindergarten, sana was always there for you no matter if it was about school, soccer, or whatever crazy adventure life decided to throw at you. she was there with you through it all.
sana knew everything about you. from the ideal snacks you’d like to eat, what your skincare routine items consisted of, the music you would listen to on the way to tournaments, your favorite player’s top 10 essentials, study habits, the inconsistent sleep schedule; she’s seen it all. you also have the same case when it came to learning more and more of sana’s habits and lifestyle. what she prefers on a rainy day, the fact that she likes to take pictures of things that were cute or intriguing; her go-to order of coffee she would usually get when cramming school work together, and even the way she celebrates even the smallest accomplishments jumping up and down in elation. 
what first started as differences between you and her turned into common interests, the bond that was shared grew even stronger. those post game meals, watching a show together through one pair of earbuds, walking and eventually driving to school - even sleeping over at each other’s houses just to keep company. the priceless moments you spent with her didn’t have to be special, it was already enough that you were willing to do anything with her and sana definitely felt the same way with you. 
you and sana always appeared to have a bubble encapsulating you two at school. most classmates and friends would usually give space to ensure that they weren’t interrupting something. not that you or her cared anyway, but from an outsiders’ perspective, it's a different story - and it gets the people going in conversation: 
“sana and y/n would make a good couple.” 
“they’re always together...” 
“y/n is so lucky to have sana!” 
“what a perfect match.”
blah blah blah blah you’ve heard the lot of it. 
so let’s set the record straight, you and sana never actually dated each other during high school. despite that shocking revelation, the situation itself seems too good to be true. you’ve spent a significant amount of time together, know every detail about each other’s lives, and no secrets are harbored between you two; but this is midway through your last fall break in high school, and surely something must’ve clicked by now right? wrong. 
most of the guys and girls at school would kill to be in your position with sana. it was already accepted that she was leagues above anyone else and it wasn’t even a close race with the other popular girls at school as well. you a similar set of criteria with sana: top of the class, you were the best player and captain of the soccer team, well known with the various teachers, good with other students, and just the ideal model that most people should aspire to be on and off the soccer pitch. too bad much can’t be said about your love life since it’s virtually nonexistent. 
however, that all changed when you started to see sana a little bit differently. the realization didn’t come to you right away - eventually, you start to see small signals going off in your mind in both the physical and internal aspects of sana’s being. 
you didn’t notice it at first glance because of how natural it was to see sana being clingy or touchy with momo and nayeon; come to think of it, now even dahyun from econ class was now the latest addition to her list of victims in physical affection. she had that effect on others that made them feel like they have known sana for ages. none of them come close to you though. your classmates have only seen the superficial version of sana, the version that everyone was naturally accustomed to seeing on a daily basis during class. despite that, it was a much different story at home. 
the real sana, your sana, you’ve seen the emotions she held in behind closed doors and its just you two. even for a girl like her who’s always seen as an overpowering ray of sunshine, she too has her moments of despair. that was apparent during the time when she lost her cousin to a tragic drunk driver accident roughly about two years ago. you were nearly forced to drag her to the service, but she eventually came around. the loss was already tough on her as it is since she got sick soon after that. since her mom was busy with nursing and her dad usually working the graveyard shift, she was always home alone if you were also backed up with soccer practice or school work.
but in that week when she got really sick, you thought it’d be a good idea for you to stay over at her house to keep her company; not that your parents really minded nevertheless; for her sake and wellbeing, you dedicated yourself to care for your longtime friend. 
the first night was probably the roughest part of that week. you immediately bolted to her house after practice when you received a text from her mom to see how she was doing. when you arrived at her house and stepped into her room since the funeral, it was difficult to see her in that bedridden state; she was a wreck, slightly malnourished, almost pale. it pained you to see her like this - despite that, she still had that little sense of bubbliness to her that made the situation a little more bearable to handle as she flashed a faint smile, 
“i guess this is what i get for not eating and sleeping?” sana mumbles, her voice coarse that was almost ineligible to hear.
“everyone handles their grief differently, so in a way yes.” you sigh as you set the tray of warm soup on her nightstand. 
you got a closer look at her face when you sat next to her on the bed, adjusting yourself as sana propped herself up after turning on the lamp. your heart ached at the sight your mind was registering. her eyes that were once beaming with light were no longer there; instead, they were half-lidded, almost lifeless. the eyebags right under were very apparent with her hair clearly disheveled from being in bed. 
“thank you for the soup y/n.” sana says with a faint glee in her expression.  
“don’t, sana,” you quickly say, patting her head, “it already hurts me to see you like this.”
sana pouts at your statement. 
“the least that i can do is just be here for you.” you utter, “i won’t ask for anything in return.” you flash a smirk only for her to return the same look. 
“well, i should probably get going.” you say in a lowered tone. “i still have to finish up my project with Jackson and i-” 
as you got up from sana’s bed, you felt a hand grasp your wrist. looking back, you see sana facing down with a sense of loss translated through her body. your heart rate spiked for an instant as you tried to conjure up any sort of thoughts possible to help determine what was unfolding in front of you. 
a very small sniffle could be heard, breaking the tension and silence that was filling up the room.
“stay…” sana murmurs softly, “please.” 
your mind freezes at her sudden request. this was the first time you’ve seen sana in this state before, and there was one thing that was certain your heart was telling you: this was really bad. you were one choice away from either making her overall condition worse - but this potential choice was also an unforeseen opportunity for something that you had never thought of doing with the girl living next door to you. 
in a prolonged second, the next set of actions that transpired would eventually be the set of seeds planted for your true intentions down the line. 
you shift sana’s hand from your wrist to your hand as you sat back down on the bed, facing her again, meeting with her eyes as they were on the verge of tears once more. 
“okay.” you whisper softly as you grasp her hand slightly tighter, “i’ll stay.” you say, leaning forward so that your forehead could meet hers. 
sana let out a small breath of relief through her nose, delighted at the words you said which eased the pain a whole lot more than she initially thought. after placing her forehead against yours, she lightly closed her eyes as a single tear fell down from the left side of her face. her face became warm all of a sudden when you put your hand on her left cheek, wiping the tear away, melting at your loving touch for a slight second. 
“thank you…” sana whispers to you. 
soon after she said that, you wrap your arms around her, hugging her tightly. sana pauses at your action for a brief millisecond, thrown off with what you were doing; instead of pondering about it, she fully gives into your embrace as she slotted herself into your chest. her arms coating your clothed back with her hands placed perfectly on the crook of your neck, allowing herself to be fully comfortable with showing these emotions to you for the first time.
intimacy was something that sana had no shame in showing, she had that knack for being affectionate to her loved ones in any way possible. even when hanging out with friends, it would always end up with her being all over someone for the most part; and even when watching from afar, she would give small glances to you as if she’s trying to make you jealous. but in the end, you would tilt your head and give a small smirk back at her, acknowledging the fact that what she’s doing is indeed working, except you won’t yield to her that easily. 
you were a different case for sana. the understanding that you two had was way past the verbal aspect to a point where you or her could say so much just by looking in each other’s eyes. sana just felt right at home with you, a perfect compliment to her energy and vibes. the yin to her yang. you had no problem with reciprocating the things that she does whenever its just you two. from hand-holding, her grip on your arm, your arm wrapped around her waist, and pressing both of your faces together when taking pictures just to name a few. 
all of those sweet moments were special to you, and surely sana thought the same. they could be called dates, they could be called hangouts, it didn’t matter at all because you’d be spending them with the person who’s had your heart for the longest time now. 
“you’re staring off into space again.” 
a voice breaks your daze into the distance as you’re brought back to reality, sitting along a set of tables outside of chaeyoung’s family owned cafe. you blink and look over to your right side of you, seeing sana sitting next to you staring, her head on her fist with a puzzled expression on her face. 
“that matcha latte isn’t gonna finish itself ya know.” she says. you look down and smile, realizing you embarrassed yourself for the third time today. 
“sorry.” you say as you finish the last of your latte in one swig. sana mirrors your action, drinking her cinnamon scented macchiato. both of you gulp down the last of your tasty beverages and place your cups on the table. 
“you do have something on your mind don’t you? sana asks playfully. you shake your head in response to her question, “well not exactly.” 
“yes you do.”
“no i don’t.” 
“y/n, we both know how this goes.” sana declares, knowing that it was pointless to hide something especially if you’re keeping it from sana of all people.
you sigh in defeat, looking at the rows of cherry blossom trees set outside of chaeyoung’s cafe before focusing on sana again.
“it’s about the youth academy, and the exit trial…” you started off, “even though it’s been two weeks already, i’m not sure how well i-” 
“stop y/n.” sana demands, shaking her head, “that wasn’t how you felt when you came back from the facility; i know you did great so act like it.”  
“i know, i know. ” you sigh softly, placing your hands on the table. clasping your fingers together to stop them from shaking. “but you gotta remember sana, this trial is for a potential contract; on an actual team. i’m within touching distance of my lifelong dream, but what if it doesn’t work out?” 
sana shakes her head in disagreement, grabbing your hands with her own. you shift your left hand and place it over hers, gently rubbing the top of her thumb as she did the same for your right hand. 
“you supported my dream of becoming a cosmetologist, now let me do the same for you.” sana declares, “all of those practices and games will finally be worth it in the end. the best and only thing that we can do is just wait.” sana has seen the highs and lows of your soccer journey and while she didn’t fully grasp the sport until a year after she met you all those years ago, she knew how much this meant for you to go pro.
“i want to be there for you every step of the way.” 
“you’ll always be my first fan….” 
those words echoed in the back of sana’s mind as she kept her eyes fixated on you, while you were still rubbing your thumb on her hand. you chuckled softly as you grabbed her left hand, setting a kiss atop of her middle knuckle. she blushes at your sudden action of affection as you look back at her and smiled. 
“you’re the best sometimes you know that?”
sana lets out a cute giggle, one that was reserved for you and only you, “i know i am. what else is new?” 
“nothing much really if i were to be honest with you.” you reply, still lightly grasping her hand as you stare at sana’s face once more. 
sana leans her head over to the right side, hand still latched onto yours. “your overwhelming sincerity never ceases to amaze me.” she says, gazing into your eyes before trailing off into the dazzling features of your face for a few seconds. 
you pull your hand away from her as you cross your arms together, not convinced with her genuine complement. sana dips her head down laughing at your amusing action as she tries to pull your arm off. before she could even break your crossed arms, you pull away slightly while also diverting your attention away from her intentionally, making her slightly annoyed. 
“are you saying that my lovely appeal doesn’t work on you anymore?” you ask looking back at her with a moped face. 
“i never said that it didn’t.” sana responds instantly. “i should ask the same about you?”  
“we both know that you’d beat me in a flirting competition anyway.” 
“you wanna try again pretty?” sana teases. 
“i think everyone knows that i’m the only one that can withstand your tempting charms.” you argue as you place your elbow on the table with your head on your fist, smirking at sana who was slightly baffled at your statement as you felt a faint blush tap your cheeks. 
“that i can confirm.” sana replies, surrendering to your reasons. the moment between you two is interrupted as you see your phone vibrate on the table. you look over to see the notification of a missed call, it was your mom. it followed up with a text that you looked at closely to read, your eyes widened at the message. 
“mom just called, she said to come home right now.” you said to sana who nodded at what was happening. the both of you stood up as you grabbed sana’s hand after you set the chairs back with the table exiting the cafe together. 
—-
sana knew that you always had a gentle side to you. behind that sturdy, hardened exterior was someone that defined the epitome of sweet and so much more, all bundled up into one person. she was aware of how ambitious you were about your studies and athletics, and a little bit of that mentality of yours rubbed off on her as you both leaned on each other for support when times got tough. the way you spoke to her, how you acted, even the actions that you did was everything that she ever dreamed about having was with you. she wanted more and even that wasn’t enough for her. 
you both were already mindful of the idea of crushing on each other. even if you two didn’t admit that there was something, nothing ever came to fruition because of how platonic everything was between you two so far. 
the car ride home was always a smooth breeze. aside from the fact that sana is your passenger princess, it was always a good time in your matte black tesla. sana would always take off her shoes or sandals, placing both feet on the dashboard and setting the seat all the way back only for her to forget to reset it every time she leaves the car. you didn’t think much of it however since you took every opportunity to place your hand with hers or even on her thigh, and she didn’t mind either. sana found you attractive with playing soccer already, but with everyday activities such as driving, sometimes she couldn’t function properly. 
you end up backing into the driveway of your house not long after seven minutes. sana gets out first and waits for you at the fence that connects her house to yours while you grab your soccer bag from the hood, humming out loud while looking at the sky. you get something from the driver's seat real quick before you walk over to sana again who was on her phone.
“texting your long distance pen-pal again? wasn’t the username kim somet-” 
“it’s kimchouzaki.” sana answers. “she just sent me a care package from japan so it should be coming in a little bit.” 
“i wish i had a pen-pal who did that for me, but with soccer related stuff.” 
“aw don’t be sad, its ok.” sana purses her lips together at your remark. “you should go inside, i don’t want to keep your mom waiting.” 
“i’m sure it’s nothing bad, but i’ll-”
“let you know if something happens?” sana asks finishing your sentence. “you know me so well.” you gleam as the both of you laugh together. another long pause of tension consumes you and her for the twentieth time today.
neither of you were complaining however as you stared into each other's eyes, conversing in silence to the point where it could be the ending moment of a k-drama episode. 
“so…see you later?” sana asks as you inhale sharply, looking down at your feet before returning back to her face. “yeah. i’ll talk to you later sana.” you say as she begins to take a step away from you, fleeting moments of opportunity sleeping away right in front of you. before your heart takes another ache, you take another quick breath of air.
“wait…” you started off saying, sana stopping in her tracks as she faced you again, tilting her head in question. “before you go,” you grab her wrist and pull her in for a quick hug, arms wrapping around her back as her arms find themselves on your waist. 
“thank you for listening earlier.” your voice getting quieter. “i really needed that reassurance from you.” you finish off saying as you place your head on top of hers. you hear sana’s breath shudder against your chest, relieving the little stress you two had combined together. few seconds pass as you unwrap your hands from sana and give her a couple small inches of space between you two. 
“i do care about you y/n…it’d be crazy of me to say that i didn’t…” sana muttered in a small millisecond of sadness. “this is as scary for me as it is for you.” she said looking up at you, her face just inches away from yours. you pout your lips into a small smile, “i’m sure everything will work out, so don’t worry too much okay?” you softly ask as you place both hands on her shoulders, massaging them to ease the anxiety away from sana’s body. 
“alright i’ll leave you now, i’ll text you if something comes up.” you say as you adjust the soccer bag on your back. 
“sounds good!” sana beams returning to her normal state of bubbliness as she tiptoes to plant a kiss on your cheek. you cutely smile at her sudden action, “if what’s inside is what i think it is about, that kiss was for good luck!.” she yells as she makes her way towards her house.
you kept your eyes on sana, waving at her as she got further and further away, eventually going past the door to her house and closing it. soon after, you look down in content, smiling at what just took place a few moments ago. 
“that girl really is something.” you say to yourself as you make your way up the steps to the front door. a quick movement of opening the door and heading inside, you take off your shoes and place your bag down on the floor and walk towards the kitchen.
“ma! i'm home!.” you yell out as you turn to the dining table to see both of your parents and your best friend dex, who also was your personal agent managing the business and logistical end with the soccer teams. sitting across from them was a woman in a well-fitted dress layered with a blazer, holding a small card in her hand. you eyed the card the woman was holding a little more closely as it resembled a club badge facing towards you. it didn’t take that long for you to put two and two together and the first words you heard from dex all but confirmed everything that you assumed. 
“hey y/n, i have some really good news for you.” dex began saying. your eyes shot open at the thought that was processing in your mind at an instant. 
you couldn’t wait to tell sana about this after. 
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frenchkisstheabyss · 10 months
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。・゚゚・synestia・゚゚・。
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♡ Coming at you babes with another anon ask. I can't say enough how much I appreciate that you guys trust me to tell emotional stories for, ya'll. Enjoy! ♡
♡Pairing: idol!bang chan! x curvy!fem!reader
♡Summary: You're faced with a tough decision when a slip-up by your best friend complicates your friends-with-benefits relationship
♡Genre: angst/smut/fluff
♡Word Count: 1.5kish
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Warnings: unprotected sex, strong language, & that's basically it babes
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Beneath the lush flesh of your belly that Chan sculpts to fill the palms of his intricately veined hands, your stomach muscles contract at the forward motion of your hips. Synestia. It’s the molten ring that forms when two planets collide. The human mind can’t begin to fathom heat of that magnitude but the warmth emanating through your body from having his cock this deep inside of you must come close.
You’ve been on top of him for an eternity it seems, making slow, deliberate circles with your hips as he pulses within your silken walls. An eternity, he thinks, staring up at your divinely curved figure, will never be enough. Your head’s thrown back, parted lips infusing the air with moans so angelic it’s sinful. Chan runs his hands up your chest, rounding your breasts, thumbs grazing the rigid peaks of your nipples before meeting at the base of your throat.
With his other fingers laced around the back of your neck, he tilts your head forward. Chan breathes in as if he’s seeing you for the first time, mesmerized by your beauty. So mesmerized, in fact, that the sight of you coming undone as he thrusts into you makes him say the absolute dumbest shit you’ve ever heard your best friend say.
“Fuck, y/n” he whispers, “I love you…”
And everything stops. 
Only it doesn’t. You’re still in the throes of ecstasy, coming hard around him, drenching the hotel sheets in your juices. He didn’t say that. He couldn’t have. You roll off of him, quivering limbs retreating to the corner of the bed. The color drains from his face, the gravity of his words stealing the earth from beneath him. “I…I didn’t mean that” he stutters, this sudden feeling of vulnerability making him pull the sheets over his naked body. “I was just…I…” “Caught up in the moment” you add, eager to rush this conversation along. 
“Yeah, that! I didn’t mean…I wouldn’t say. I mean, I do love you but not like that. Like I love Felix or Han…” “Do you fuck Felix and Han?” You could kick yourself for how bitter that came out. You aren’t angry that he’s taking back what he said. Chan’s your best friend, of course, you love each other but romantically? This wasn’t romantic. This was just sex.
Mindblowing, earth-shattering, soul-bending sex but just sex nonetheless. Summoning what little strength you have in your body, you stumble to your feet and throw your clothes back on. Your sweatpants are probably backward. You’re only wearing one sock but you slip your sneakers on anyway. 
“I should go…” 
“Should we talk?” he asks, getting up to help you gather your things. 
“No. I’m good. It’s cool” you lie, grabbing your keys from the nightstand. 
Chan knows you’re lying but there’s no time to question you about it. You’re out of the door, yelling back at him that you’ll see him tomorrow, faster than he can process your absence.
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“You fucking idiot!” you scream, wringing your hands around the steering wheel. With the windows up and the radio blasting, the other drivers can’t hear you but they can see you and you’re kind of losing your shit. Thankfully, the light turns green and you turn onto a street where you can curse the gods in peace. How could he do this? The two of you agreed from the start that things would never get to this point.
You promised each other that you’d never let your sexual feelings make you say something as silly as “I love you.” Chan should’ve never come back to visit. Your friendship should’ve been limited to FaceTime while he was in the studio or quick texts between TV appearances. The moment he started taking time out of his schedule exclusively to visit you was the moment things went too far. 
“You fucking idiot!” you scream, unsure if this time it’s meant for you or Chan. A humming in your lap draws your attention down to your phone. A quick glance at it reveals a picture of the two of you at Disneyland last year, the contact name Channie hanging above it, sprinkled with heart and sparkle emojis that make you feel nauseous now. You ignore it, silently praying for the vibrations to stop.
To the left of you, there’s a convenience store glowing softly against the night. The neon sign in the window says “Open 24 Hours” and your eyes are drawn to the fully stocked freezer of ice cream in the back. It’s probably against your better judgment to stuff your face with ice cream at 2am. At the last minute, you whip into the parking lot, tires screeching. You clearly haven’t been using your better judgment up to this point. Why start now?
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The elevator dings letting you off on your floor. “You still didn’t answer my question,” your friend says, her voice dancing sleepily from the phone pinched between your shoulder and ear. You dig a plastic spoon into the half-eaten pint of ice cream in your hand. A plastic bag overflowing with an assortment of other snacks dangles on your wrist, catching on your keys. “What question?” you ask through a mouthful of ice cream.
“If he meant it…” she repeats with emphasis on every word, “How would you have felt?” You laugh, chalking her insane question up to the fact that you woke her up to have this conversation, to begin with. “Well, he didn’t.” “But if he did…” “If he did then…well…” You hadn’t for a second considered the possibility that Chan could actually feel that way about you. But now that you have there’s this tingle in your chest and a warmth in your cheeks. 
“Well?”
“Well…” 
Turning the corner to your apartment you notice someone lingering by your door. The closer you get the clearer it becomes that it’s him. “I’m gonna have to call you back” you whisper, hanging up without even caring to say goodbye. It’s a pattern at this point. “Need some help?” he offers, plucking the keys from your hand. Chan pushes the door open, moving out of the way to let you through first. “It took you long enough to get here” he teases, scanning the bag around your wrist, “And I see why.”
“Look, ugh, what are you even doing here?” you huff, flopping down on the couch. You toss the snacks onto your coffee table, throwing your feet up beside them to unlace your sneakers. Chan follows behind you, immediately going to work unlacing your shoes. “You didn’t answer my calls.” “I was driving and I can do this myself,” you say but he already has you barefoot. Nearly barefoot aside from that one sock. Sitting down beside you on the couch, he places his hand on your knee, nervously picking at the material of your pants.
You’d brush his hand away but something tells you not to. Chan’s shoulders drop, a tinge of guilt seeping from his very being. “I fucked up didn’t I?” he asks and you can tell by the timbre of his voice that he’s tearing up a bit. There are words you want to say, words that need to be said but when you open your mouth only a faint croak comes out. The disconnect between your brain and your mouth is monumental, leaving you with little more to do than stare at the face of the best friend you might just lo… 
Chan nods his head, your silence confirming his suspicions, “Yeah, I fucked up…” He’s looking at you now with glossy brown eyes that make you come undone in a much different way than before. “But you’re my best friend so I shouldn’t lie to you, yeah?” You nod in agreement, subconsciously moving closer to him. He is the first person you go to when you need comfort after all. It’s muscle memory to go to him.
Nothing about tonight has changed that. “I do love you, y/n. Not like I love Felix or Han or Changbin. I love you like…like any man would a woman he stops the world to come see and I’m sorry if that means you hate me.” “I love you too…” you blurt out. There they are. The words you couldn’t get out. Your brain and your mouth are in sync again. Network connection strong. “You don’t have to say that…” You place your hand on his, stroking the soft skin, “I know but it’s true. I do. I…love you too.”
A silence louder than you’ve ever experienced lingers in the aftermath of your profession. Chan smiles, his cheeks going as rosy as you’ve ever seen them. You can’t stop yourself from kissing him and he doesn’t stop you either, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you on top of him. Having his lips against yours, nothing held back, gives you more of a rush than any orgasm ever has.
“So” he pants, only willing to break from the kiss for a millisecond before his tongue’s lapping at yours again, “does this mean you still wanna see me?” “Duh,” you giggle, sliding your hands under his black hoodie to caress his defined stomach. Chan grabs you by the wrists firmly enough to get your attention, “Only me?” You slip free of his grip, bringing your hands up to cradle his face, “Only you.” 
Synestia, the molten ring that forms when two planets collide, only lives for a short time before the scattered pieces come together, forming one magnificent, harmonious planet where chaos once existed.
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drinix · 2 months
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A Vow for Eternity
03 - Do I wanna know?
General Kirigan X reader
Part 02
Warnings: None at all. This series encompass mainly romance, fluff, angst.
Summary: A Princess embroiled in an arranged betrothal to the most feared General Aleksander Kirigan, the leader of the Second Army in Ravka. Would this be a mere political alliance or something more than it meets the eye?
Happy Reading!!
Bonus:
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“It’s better than being engaged to a Prince in Fjearda, a Duke in Shu-Han or a politician in Ketterdam” You sighed as Genya styled your hair into loose curls. “At least I get to stay in Ravka, in the premises of the Grand Palace”
Genya smiled as she ran her fingers through your hair making sure not to make it messy. You had been requested to attend a dinner party hosted by the Queen and coincidentally the General was invited too. Almost a week had elapsed since your taxing first encounter at the Winter Fete and not once did he visit you since then, except sending Genya to attend to your needs and keeping two of his soldiers at your door.
Your father had left for Ketterdam again due to certain commitments related to diplomatic affairs so you were left in the Grand Palace with no one to talk to except Genya as your cousins were mostly tied down by horse races in Caryeva or engrossed in building ships and purchasing state of the art weapons to fight the many wars that the country was enmeshed in. The absence of their company led to you and Genya becoming friends in no time.
“Don’t stress too much about the dinner, princess.” Genya said, as she added final touches to your face. “Will the King take part in it too?”
“Most probably, yes. He is the one who set this up after all. I have no idea how long this dinner will go on” You heard Genya sighing as you said it. You weren’t sure whether it was a sigh of despair or relief. It sounded more like the latter.
“Is everything all right, Genya?” You turned towards her, reaching out for her hand. “You can tell me anything, you know” Genya looked at you in the corner of her eyes. “Nothing y/n. I’m more than fine” Yeah you could see that. Genya has been acting weirdly whenever you mentioned the King.
“You are most gorgeous today, y/n” Genya diverted the topic. “General Kirigan won’t be able to take his eyes off you” She giggled before mimicking General Kirigan’s deep voice. “You look lovely my y/n”
You scoffed at how she poised exactly like him, commanding the attention of the entire world to him. “He will be taunted at the thought of sitting next to me, so will I. Besides, I assume he has more significant concerns that need his attention than me” Everyone was buzzing about how the Sun Summoner trailed behind everywhere General Kirigan went. Clearly Alina was not fond of your betrothal to the General. You tried to shrug off the thought of Alina being General’s significant other. No need for you to worry about it anyway.
As you made your way towards the dining hall, a familiar figure in the black kefta was standing in the hallway turning his back to you.
“Princess, I have been waiting for you.” His voice resounded through the passageway as he turned back to face you. His attention in the blink of an eye turned to your dress.
You felt as if your throat throbbed with a hard swallow as his unfaltering gaze trailed down from your face over to where your black silky dress embraced your hips, the scrutiny was almost obscene and erotic like the physical touch of a lover who wouldn’t step back without mapping every inch of your body with his attention.
You wished you had worn something else instead of the black dress Genya chose for you. Something simple enough not to intrigue his attention taking in every detail of you. All your life, you were the one who saw through the people who often left unnoticed. For once, you wanted to be noticed by someone, immersing in every intricate trifle about you. And he noticed you. He looked at you in the way every woman wanted to be looked at.
“I thought you’d be busy with work to attend the dinner” You already knew about his hectic work schedule and how duty conscious he is.
“This is a part of my work too moya tsarevna” He muttered, whilst shooting a glance towards the dining hall.
“Isn’t it tiresome to work day and night and not having a moment for yourself ? Or is it a luxury that you cannot afford?”
“If I had chosen to indulge in luxuries of life then the Grisha won’t be recognized as they are today without having to run away from being persecuted” That glare of him could pierce through the thin ice that you were in. “Are you always so keen to be annoying ?”
“Sorry I didn’t mean to” You had ruffled his black wispy feathers and secretly enjoyed every moment of it. “I’m famished. Shall we?” Continuing to bicker with each other was not the best of ideas, specially when you were in a place where everyone kept an eagle eye on your every move.
You said, gesturing towards to the hall. He nodded, offering you his arm. You looked up at him with a doubtful expression.
“Hold my hand princess, otherwise they would get the wrong impression.” He said, stepping closer to you.
“Which is?” You entwined your hand with his.
“That we have become two nemeses who are always at each other’s throats” You were so close to each other that the tufts of your tousled hair were touching his face as it billowed in the wind, while you two walked into the hall. He didn’t seem to mind it.
“Isn’t it the truth though? You just made it obvious that you can’t stand me” You whispered under breath as you saw the King and the Queen at the table.
“Did I?” His deep yet softened words tingled in your ear, sending a spike of chill down your spine.
“We thought of making this rather an intimate dinner” The queen interrupted your conversation. “It’s been some time since all of us sat together for dinner. Now that we have a new member in the family, this is the perfect time”
A table lied in the hall filled with sumptuous food with just the King, Queen, Vasily, Nikolai, you and of course your Black General. Vasily was the Commander of the First Army sitting at the same table as the General Kirigan, the Leader of the Second Army. The tension was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Vasily’s disparaging stances of Grisha were no secret to anyone in the palace.
“I agreed to this dinner because of you, y/n. Not that I’d enjoy this dinner specially in the presence of our esteemed General Kirigan.” He gestured the butler to pour wine to his glass.
“Likewise, moi tsarevich” General Kirigan seethed, casually gulping his Kvas. “We both have a common reason for being here” He laced his fingers in yours delicately which left you surprised with incredulity.
“Ah….I almost forgot to send my congratulations your way, y/n, on your rather quaint betrothal.” Vasily sneered at you without batting an eye to the stern glance of his father. He heaved a deep sigh before opening his mouth to speak what he was going to say next. “Or should I say my condolences?”
You felt the General’s harsh squeeze on your hand as his darkly obsidian eyes were locked on Vasily with seething rage which could tear him into pieces. His clenched jaw and throbbing veins in his neck denoted how enraged he was at the preposterous remark of your cousin.
As his dark wisps of shadows engulfed the room, you put your hand over his, gently stroking his fingers while casting a soft glance in his eyes. As his eyes met with yours, his boiling rage subsided as the darkness that encompassed the room gradually disappeared.
It was an impulsive gesture which left you in a dilemma as to why you were compelled to do it in the first place. Maybe you wanted to evade a brawl between the two of them.
“We are quite happy to be in this union, Vasily” You lied downright.
“Indeed” General Kirigan affirmed, smiling gently at you. “Sometimes when I look at her I wonder, how I got so lucky” You were not certain whether he actually meant that or it was another sarcasm of his to get under your skin.
“Congratulations to you, on behalf of all of us” The King finally opened his mouth. The mastermind behind the tumult of a betrothal that you were enmeshed in.
“Public announcements have been already made and what is left for us to do is planning the wedding” The Queen beamed with excitement. Of course, she was so thrilled about your wedding as throwing banquets, tea parties, and many celebrations for the most trivial reasons were one of her best forte.
Your lips twitched in surprise as you didn’t expect the table to turn this way.
“Right now?” You muttered. “Isn’t it too early for such celebrations?”
“I don’t think it would be a sensible idea to rush into things as of yet, moya tsaritsa” General Kirigan cut in. “I’m rather occupied with my duties at the Little Palace, with the arrival of the Sun Summoner.” The latter part of his response made your eyes roll. His subdued yet authoritative tone made the Queen drew back her propositions. “Perhaps, Princess y/n may need some time getting used to her life in the palace”. You nodded in agreement. There was nothing new for you to get used to except General Kirigan, yet you nodded your head so hard that made Nikolai almost cackle.
“In your own pace then, General Kirigan” She said, diffidently.
You summoned a smile, casting a sideway glance at the General, quite elated that he played along with you.
“Please enjoy the food, otherwise it will get cold” The last thing the King wanted to see was the alliance he set up so tactically to fall apart because his eldest couldn’t keep his mouth shut or his wife couldn’t stop meddling with it. Nikolai was notably silent. You knew he was never fond of being in the presence of Vasily. No one was actually.
After that awkwardly intolerable dinner which engendered almost a brawl between Vasily and General Kirigan, the General offered to walk you to your room.
“That dinner was the worst dinner I’ve ever had in my life” He didn’t look so fussy about it though.
“Now we’re talking” You teased, looking at him.
“It was terrible, even I agree”
It was a respite that you two at least had something to agree upon.
“We make a really good team, considering all the drama at the dinner today” He looked back at you.
“You have such exceptional acting skills, General. I’ll give you that” You chuckled.
“I just stated the truth, Princess. I didn’t pretend to have something that does not exist ”
“I lied about us”
“I didn’t” He said. As he stressed those words, a wave of confusion wafted over you.
You paused walking for a while at the arched long windows of the corridor. The moon glistened in the sky, with sparkling constellations surrounding it. You stared at the sky in awe of its beauty. You never really got the chance watch the stars which was one of the hobbies that you loved, since you came back to the palace.
“Do you like watching the stars, princess” He asked as he leaned against the window, next to you.
“Yes. They are so beautiful” A radiant smiled adorned your lips as your eyes were riveted in the stars.
“Captivating” He whispered, facing you.
You flicked your gaze back to him. “The stars, you mean?”
“No, I mean you” There he was, looking at you like there was something worth looking at. His expression was serious. But you liked how it softened slightly when he looked at you. His lips never moved yet his eyes communicated and spoke louder than any of his actions.
You felt your cheeks flushing as you looked down averting his gaze. It was the first time that someone ever said something like that to you; someone that you wanted to be complimented by.
“Thank you, I guess” You blurted out. “I know this betrothal is difficult for you as much as it’s to me. But I don’t want you to hate me or pretend to like me. It’ll only make things more aggravating”
“Does this look like I’m pretending to like you, princess?” Maybe, yes. Given your aristocratic status, you were often in the company of people with plastered smiles on the faces, insipid conversations and a plethora of deceptive pretenses of how delighted they were to be in your presence. Given how he treated you at the Winter Fete, maybe a hard yes.
“I cannot deny that you can be a little irksome sometimes. But we can work it out” He smirked.
“You are exasperating, General. In case, if you haven’t noticed.” A cheeky smile settled on your face. “Parading in your fur cloaks as if you are some prima donna”
His chestnut eyes traced down from your eyes, to your nose tip to every inch of your lips. “I do know how to look the part”
Indeed he knew, in every sense of the word.
There were men. Generally handsome men. Then there was General Kirigan.
“Princess” It made you come back to reality from your distraction in a flash. “If you wouldn’t mind, would you like to go horseback riding with me, tomorrow morning? I got to know that you’re so fond of horse riding” You felt his hand tangled in your hand as his fingers lightly brushed against your skin, sending an electrifying sensation through your core.
How the heck did he come to know that?
“Since when have you started to care about things I like?” You replied with another question without moving your hand back this time.
“I’m not your enemy” He said. “There are certain things that I want us to come to terms and this is one of them.”
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mvlders222 · 6 months
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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰
based off of the pixies song with the same name
pairing ; natalie scatorccio x fem!reader
wordcount ; 1.3k
summary ; while the yellowjackets team has plans to set up their own homecoming party, "doomcoming" if you will, natalie sneaks off only to find you. left alone with your thoughts and a bottle of alcohol, you have no choice but to confront each other about what was left unhandled before the crash.
warnings ; travis slander!!! alcohol, underage drinking, mention of nausea, angst, fluffy at the end. centered around episode s1xe9 "doomcoming." lowercase intended
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"what are you doin' out here?" you looked up to see natalie pushing her way through bushes to get to you. you were sitting on the dirt close to the large tree that stood behind you. the roots were too uncomfortable to sit on properly.
you had previously held your head to your knees and away from the others, the world, and anyone who may've been watching. natalie glimpsed at your tear-stained cheeks in disdain, a sour taste left in her mouth as she tried to swallow it down.
you looked up to meet her gaze, quickly wiping the tears away. you didn't want her to see you like this. vulnerable. nothing seemed to have come from your efforts, however. lighter tears still emitting from your eyes. "nothing," you responded.
that clearly didn't work, as now she'd made her way closer. "doesn't seem like nothin'," her thick accent pushing through. it was one of the many features you had always loved about her. she sat down next to you, avoiding the tough roots that had grown their way underneath the ground and rock.
"i don't wanna talk to you right now," you sniffled a bit.
"you're not the first. i feel like everyone hates me right now." she looked down at the ground before her. her tone made it seem like she didn't care, but she had been hurt by your words.
you and natalie had had a past. it was full of hidden love for one another. skipping class to go makeout in the janitor's closets, having girl's nights whenever your parents were out of town. nothing had ever been official, and while you had feelings for her, you still believed that she had just been using you. but if this was the closest you two would ever get, you'd take that over ruining your friendship.
she was like a drug, though. you loved being around her, and the risk of getting caught was thrilling. but when you were apart, you were left alone with your thoughts and that was more horrifying than any boogeyman hiding under a child's bed.
everything changed after the crash, she had been going on longer hunts with travis and it had been hard to hide your dates. you started seeing her less and less and hated that she left you for a boy.
"what about travis?" you glanced at her slightly, secretly hopeful for her answer, although the thought of them made you want to vomit. "i thought you two were, um, together..?"
"i thought so too. actually, i thought i had feelings for him. he just thinks i'm a slut because i don't fit his perfect image," she laughed at this. "seriously, i don't know what i was thinking."
"he's a dick." that was all you could come out with. natalie laughed at the lone sentence. "he's more than a dick," she responded.
"do you remeber us? when we were happy?" you stared at her with those sad eyes. god, those eyes. she could never lie to you.
"yeah," she said without thinking. "i'm... sorry... about all of this."
it was silent after that. an eternity of awkward silence and you didn't exactly know how to break it. "just go back to the party, okay? i'm not ready yet."
"it was getting boring anyway." she pulled your attention to the bottle of what looked like cheap bourbon. "you want some?" she uncapped it and held it out to you.
without a word, you grabbed the bottle and took a swig. after a couple gulps, you handed it back to the girl and wiped your chin of any drink that dribbled down.
"jesus, do you have nothing to live for?" she teased while grabbing the bottle. her smile slightly dropped when she saw the look on your face. it was one of hopelessness, and your eyes, empty.
"not anymore." you rubbed your nose and sniffled. you turned to face her fully now. "i was gonna go to college, you know. i don't wanna be a housewife who hates my husband, dropping my kids off at soccer practice." tears started to well up in your eyes again at the very thought of this.
"you're overthinking. trust me, that's not gonna happen." natalie brought the bottle away from her lips and looked at you again.
after a couple of sips from the both of you, the bottle was now nearly empty. while that conversation was long forgotten by natalie, it still remained in the back of your mind, taunting you.
"how do you know?" it wasn't meant to be mean, it was a genuine question.
natalie had no idea what you were talking about. as her laughing died down from some stupid joke she made, confusion quickly took over. "huh?"
"how do you know what's gonna happen? after all this?" natalie looked deeply into your eyes and reached out to grab your hand.
"'cause giving yourself away to a man doesn't give you purpose. you're throwing your life away!" she was talking like you were out of your mind. and maybe you were, or maybe it was just the alcohol. because the next thing you did you would've never been able to have the courage to do.
you wrapped your hand around the back of her neck and pulled her close to you. your lips landed on hers and she kissed back without hesitation. in that moment, time stopped. the earth stopped spinning and you were the only two people on the planet.
after a while, you pulled back, much to her dismay, and rested your forehead against hers. she was left speechless at how forward it was. "i, um, wow..."
"tell me, how that one kiss was different than the thousands we've shared?" you teased her, filled with confidence knowing that you're the one that had left her flustered.
"it's been... a while," she finally pulled her head away from yours and stared at you earnestly. "you never know what you have until you've lost it, yeah?"
you smiled at her words. it may have not been the best thing to say in that moment, it may have been sort of dopey, but in that moment it had made your heart full again.
"i regret ever leaving you." natalie shook her head and she seemed ut of breath. "even if we never had anything before now. it hurts to think about."
"i love you," you startled yourself with your own words. now it was your turn to be flustered. "sorry," you laughed awkwardly.
natalie giggled, now feeling happier than ever. she kissed you deeply once more. she didn't have to say it back for you to understand that she really did love you back.
you didn't know what was going to happen next, or if you were going to remember this in the morning, but it didn't matter because she was all yours and you were hers.
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svnflower-writes · 1 month
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i could never give you peace
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description: James reached his hand out, gently cupping Regulus’ cheek and moving some hair out of his eyes. “Hey, little star.” Regulus leaned slightly into the touch, but didn’t speak. “Let’s get you to your room, yeah?”
or
in which James comforts Regulus after a particularly bad fight with his parents.
relationship: bodyguard!james potter x regulus black
warnings: mentions of child abuse, secret/forbidden relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, james may be slightly out of character but idk maybe he's just sad 😭
requested: yes!! @allyeardepression requested this about 4 months ago and i am SO sorry for taking so long writer's block has been kicking my ass omg i started writing as soon as you requested it but it sat there unfinished for far too long. anyway i hope you like it!!!
note: uh ok hi. this is the first thing i've posted in MONTHS and i wrote most of it in class so it's not great but fuck it i had to post something. also... sorry. the first thing i write in five months and it's heartwrenching angst, which is very typical of me. also based off a taylor swift song which is also very typical of me
ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54453148
marauders taglist: (lmk if you want to be added or removed) @lovefolder @gu1lty-as-sin @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @a-beautiful-fool @optimizedchaos @qwerty-keysmash @lost-in-reveriie @tulips-best @nqds
James had to pretend that it didn’t affect him, seeing Orion and Walburga treat their children like they did. After all, he was there to work for all of them. But Merlin, he felt bad. The looks that flashed across the younger brother’s face were subtle enough that anyone else would have missed it, but James didn’t miss any small details—especially when they were to do with the little star.
This was one of these moments, James was positioned outside the closed door as he heard the screaming match going on directly behind him. He heard snippets of conversation, words such as ‘useless’ and ‘pathetic’ making their way to his ears and crushing a little bit of his heart. He supposed he was lucky not to be in the room while it was happening, but all he wanted was to rush in and protect Regulus from the harsh words and actions of his parents.
James allowed his head to rest against the wall, exhaling slowly as his eyes trailed over the dark tiles on the ceilings. The decor on the house was not to James’ personal taste, a combination of dark brown, green, cream, and black. He glanced down to the floor, the extravagant geometric tiles making him feel claustrophobic and sick to the stomach. Harsh black wallpaper covered the wall, the dull gold picture frames making a pathetic attempt to soften the unharmonious glare. The paintings in the frames were judging him, the upturned noses and narrowed eyes made that obvious enough.
James and Regulus had been quick to subtly remove the paintings in the hallway outside Reg’s room—Orion and Walburga didn’t tend to go up there, so no one noticed. Sirius had given them a knowing smirk when he’d caught them sneaking down a hall with a covered portrait of one of Regulus’ great aunts, but he had said nothing. Sirius held an undeniable feeling of respect for James, he could see how much he cared for his little brother, and for that he was eternally grateful.
A sharp, high pitched shout broke James out of his trance, and he glanced at the door with a grimace.
Walburga Black was his least favourite person in the whole world. He couldn’t clearly hear what followed the shout, but he had a few ideas of what it could be. He had been in the room when this had happened a few times before, and Sirius had always seemed indifferent to his parents actions—James knew he wasn’t, of course.
It was all just an act in the Black family, everyone simply pretending to be okay and pushing their feelings to the back of their minds. Regulus was less numb to the pain, and while Sirius just sat there sprawled out on the couch, ignoring his parents, Regulus always looked unnaturally stiff. He was trying to copy Sirius, that much was obvious. But it was clear that the words got to Regulus, the way his brows furrowed and he blinked quickly or looked away with fiddling hands.
Then again, maybe there was a reason that James noticed these things—not that he could take much notice of whatever underlying feelings there were anyway, since Regulus might as well be his employer. He knew Regulus felt the same, of course. There were signs, there had been since a mere two months after James started the job. Fleeting glances, brief touching of fingers as James passed him something to eat, waiting for him in the halls— the list could go on and on.
Regulus knew that James liked him too, as James wasn’t exactly subtle. He tended to forget himself when they were around others, such as Sirius or Pandora—which made for a lot of teasing from the two. Barty and Evan couldn’t say much, as they were in much the same situation.
So the two had kept up the secret whispers and hidden gazes, neither boy making any more to further the relationship, even behind closed doors. There was only so much they could get away with, and they were not embarrassed to admit that they were terrified. They were terrified of the nature of their world, the judgements and the prejudice that came with merely trying to exist. They would prefer to be open with each other about their relationship, but they would take whatever they could get at this point.
The door next to him flew open and Walburga stormed out, not even sparing James the slightest glance as she walked past him. Orion followed close behind, the harsh glare painting his face giving James an idea of the severity of the fight. After the brother’s exchanged short hushed whispers, Sirius walked through the door, offering James a small, polite smile. He walked past and James stopped him quietly. Sirius’ eyes narrowed slightly.
“Is there anything I can do?” At James’ words, Sirius’ expression softened.
“Talk to him. I’ve done as much as I can, but I think we both know that you’re better at this stuff.” Sirius pulled James into a quick hug, “and thank you. It means a lot that you try, seriously. It’s not exactly part of your job description.” Sirius being Sirius, he laughed, but it was obvious that he wasn’t actually amused. James had known Sirius for three years, and if there was one thing he had learnt about him, it was his use of humour as a coping mechanism.
“You go sneak out to Remus, I’ll take care of him.”
Sirius grinned slightly, reaching out to ruffle James’ hair, “aw, you know me too well.”
James groaned at his now messy hair—as if his hair wasn’t always a mess—pushing Sirius away and waving him towards the door, “go find your lover, Pads.”
Sirius was out the door without another word.
James glanced down the hallway to ensure it was empty and walked into the room the fight had just taken place in. Regulus was sitting on the ground and had his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them, and head leaning against the cushion of the couch. He didn’t look up when James entered, nor when the older boy crouched down in front of him. His face wasn’t betraying what emotions he was feeling, but James knew.
James always knew.
James reached his hand out, gently cupping Regulus’ cheek and moving some hair out of his eyes. “Hey, little star.” Regulus leaned slightly into the touch, but didn’t speak. “Let’s get you to your room, yeah?”
Regulus nodded, mumbling something incoherent under his breath before looking up. “Good idea.” he took James’ outstretched hand to help him up off the ground. Even well after he had stood up, he kept his hand in James’, determined not to let go.
Regulus clearly had something he wanted to say, but his brain was not connected to the rest of his body, still in autopilot from the fight. His eyes were empty and his hands were clasped together in front of him as James gently rested his palm on his lower back to guide him up the stairs. Regulus subtly leaned into the touch, his heartbeat slowly calming and the goosebumps littering his skin beginning to fade.
Merely being near James brought him an unparalleled sense of peace.
James let his hand rub up and down his lower back comfortingly, and for a brief second he considered taking Regulus’ hand in his own but he decided against it. His brain was plagued with guilt, wishing he could rescue Regulus from the cruel reality that was his family. But no matter what James wanted, it wasn’t that simple. It never was.
James could never give Regulus peace.
Regulus stopped walking and James looked up from where his gaze had been fixed on the floor in confusion. He soon noticed that they were in fact directly outside the door to Regulus’ room. Regulus seemed to take notice of the fact that James was lost in his head and he squeezed his hand reassuringly.
After checking if the hallway was clear, James quickly opened the door. He wasn’t really supposed to enter any of the private rooms in the house, but Regulus had insisted many times that it was alright. No matter how safe Regulus felt around him, he couldn’t risk Orion and Walburga spotting him. He really was Regulus’ only source of comfort.
Regulus sat down on his bed with a blank expression on his face. James sat down next to him and pulled a bottle of water out of his bag. He handed it to Regulus with no words spoken, because the pair didn’t need words. This routine was very familiar to the two of them now, it was almost a second nature.
James quickly checked for any injuries—he hadn’t heard anything to make him suspect that there could’ve been a physical nature to the fight, but he had seen enough bruises on the Black siblings to make double checking an automatic part of the procedure. There was one on the side of Regulus’ cheek, and James pulled out the healing ointment from his bag and carefully put a little bit on the bruise.
James pushed the guilt at being unable to protect Regulus from his parents aside, knowing that this was not about him.
Once Regulus had finished, he slowly leaned into James’ side, letting out a sigh as he closed his eyes. The crook of James’ neck was like a puzzle piece that was made perfectly for Regulus’ head, and as the two slowly relaxed into each other's presence, James let his hands drift up to Regulus’ hair. His fingers slowly entangled themselves into the dark curls as he comfortingly stroked Regulus’ forehead.
It was clear to James that the support Regulus needed right now was not someone to tend to his wounds, but someone to hold him. So hold him he did. James’ right hand moved slowly up and down the small of Regulus’ back soothingly, showing an undeniable caution not to startle the younger boy with any quick movements.
He cared more about the little star than was possible to admit, and he prioritised his safety over everything else. The two lay in each other’s arms for what felt like (and probably was) hours. Suddenly, Regulus shifted in his arms, mumbling something under his breath.
James tilted his head like a confused puppy, gesturing for Regulus to repeat himself. Regulus cleared his throat and glanced away.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For…” Regulus trailed off, and James was about to let it go—he wasn’t going to push for him to open up more than he was willing to do.
“...for keeping me safe.”
The dark haired boy’s voice was merely a whisper, head buried into James’ shoulder as he refused to meet his eyes. He was embarrassed, James realised. He didn’t know what to say, so he stayed silent.
James thought that the two were about to fall back into their silence, when Regulus spoke. “It’s peaceful.”
Giving him an inquisitive look, James turned to face Regulus.
“Being here with you. You’re peaceful.”
James stiffened slightly before slowly nodding, “yeah, I know what you mean. You’re peaceful too, little star.”
You deserve more peace than I can give you.
Regulus smiled up at him, entwining their fingers reassuringly. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more at peace than I am when I lie here with you.”
Merlin, it’s like he can hear my thoughts.
Finally, James responded. “You mean more to me than anyone else ever has, little star.”
There was a raw honesty in his tone. He may not love their situation, but he loved the boy in front of him with his whole heart.
No matter where this road was leading, James knew it was where he wanted to go. Whatever the roadworks along the way, he was in this for good.
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feyre-darling92 · 1 year
Text
Task Force 141
You die during a mission
A/N: I may not update very often but when I do it’s full of angst. Yeah, I think I should worry... Anyways, enjoy this little sad story and please don’t hate me :)
T/W: I think that the word ‘Die’ is enough to explain what’s happening in here so read at your own risks, also bad writing
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You and Simon had been together for a year. To others it might have sounded a short time period but to him it looked like an eternity. One year and you had managed to bring the light back to his life. One year and he felt like you were with him a whole lifetime
At the span of a year he had become unrecognisable. The once broody and scary Lt. Riley was a whole different person when you were on his side
But life plays cruel games, doesn’t it?
You were on a mission, it was supposed to be easy, get in, get the intel and get out. You had even joked that you would be done so soon he would have to take you out for a drink afterwards
And he was planning to. Until these bastards showed up out of nowhere.
“Get out now!” Price shouted through thr com and after exchanging a look with Simon you started making your way out, killing every man standing on your way.
In the beginning he was terrified that you wouldn’t make it out alive, but once you reached the exit door he managed to push away this thought.
Both running to the extract helicopter you didn’t realize the sniper on the roof.
Well, you did, that’s why you pushed Simon inside and took his place, took the bullet for him.
He hadn’t realized it, he thought that you were worried about getting in fast. Until he saw you falling from the corner of his eye.
The exact moment you took the bullet was the moment Simon stopped breathing. 
Picking you up bridal style, not being able to process what had hapenned he took you inside.
“No” he breathed out, “Please” he begged, bringing his hand to your cheek, gently shaking you. He didn’t want to believe it but you knew, you had no chance.
Bringing your hand to his face you gently lifting his mask so you could see him one last time and whispered, “I’m sorry” , tears running down your face and breaths uneven, “I’m so sorry”
“No, no, I’m sorry. I should’ve protected you, I-I should’ve been the one to take the bullet I-” 
“It’s ok, Simon, it’s ok. But promise me that you won’t stop your life because of me ok?” You were fully crying now, sobs shaking your body.
“No, you can’t do this to me” tears also stained his handsome face, “I can’t live without you”
“Try for me ok?” you took his hand from your cheek and kissed it, “I- love you” you left your final breath.
Simon refused to leave your body. He thought that if he let you he’d have to face the fact that you were not there anymore. And he couldn’t do that.
Because when you stopped breathing he stopped breathing too. When you died, he stopped living too. How could he live when the only thing that kept him alive was dead?
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“You own me a drink after this shit is done, McTavish” you chuckled as you walked through the empty corridor, Johnyy behind you.
“If I knew that a shitty mission was all it took to get you to go out with me for drinks I would’ve arranged it sooner, lass” 
You and John were... friends. But you wanted something more. And today was they day you’d tell him! Having waited long enough you had decided that it was now or never.
“Are you coming or not?” his voice interrupted your thoughts.
“Of course” you smiled and stepped into the room only to find it empty. “Shit!”
““What happened?” Ghost’s voice was sounded through the coms.
“Room’s empty” Johnny said, “They must have left”
“Are you sure?” Price was now heard.
You examined the room, not that it was big or something and found nothing. There was only another door you decided to open to see what was on the other side.
Only that this was not a simple door. Soap should’ve seen it but he didn’t, so when you opened it the whole thing exploded, sending you both on the ground.
Johnny was the first one to wake. He didn’t know how this had happened, how long he was unconcious but he knew one thing. It was his fault.
It was his fault that you were on the ground, bleeding and fighting to breathe.
“No” he tried to speak but his throat was sore. He tried to get up but he couldn’t. So weak he was that he couldn’t get up for you. So he crawled. 
“Y/N” he took you in his arms, panicking when he saw your state. “Y/N, I- I should’ve known, I-”
“I love you” you cut him of, the sobs escaping your body putting you in worse pain, “I-I” you gasped for oxygen, “I wanted to te-tell you”
“Shh, I love you too” he kissed the top of your head, silent tears falling. “I love you so much, but don’t do this to me” he tried not to cry for you but he couldn’t hold it. 
He was losing you, the only thing that mattered. And when you left your last breath he couldn’t help but cry. Gripping you tightly, not wanting to let you go, he cried.
When the others finally came and saw him in his knees crying while holding you they knew it was too late. They knew that he would never be the same.
And he wasn’t. There wasn’t a day that he wouldn’t think about you, what you could be, how things would be different if he had realized that there was a bomb sooner. But he hadn’t and that’s why he blamed himself for the rest of his life.
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“What are you most afraid of, Gaz?” you had asked him once, when you had first met.
“I don’t know, maybe” he thought about it for a second “losing someone I love” Losing you he wanted to say but he didn’t. “What about you?”
“Hmm. Maybe, dying alone” you said after a few seconds. “Yeah, that would definitely be my greatest fear”
Back then you had just forgotten it, but this time both happened.
You were on another mission, this time separated when he heard the words he hated, “Soldier down. I repeat, soldier down” 
“Who is it?” he asked Price through the com. 
Dead silence. 
“Captain who is it?” he asked again, his heart skipping a few beats.
“It’s Y/N”
The time stopped. The exact moment he heard your name, his heart stopped. And he did the first thing that came to his mind, he ran. He ran to you before it was too late.
“Where is-” he stopped when he saw you lying on the ground, Ghost’s hands and yours applying pressure to your wound, unsuccesfully trying to stop the bleeding.
No, he thought, this can’t be happening.
“I am sorry” you cried when you saw him, “I am so sorry” you sobbed, only getting worse.
He exchanged position with Ghost, taking you in his arms, “No, no, you can’t do this to me” he rested his forehead against yours, “You can’t do this to me”
“I’m sorry” you said again, voice trembling and hands shaking, already to weak to say something more. “I- I don’t” you tried to breathe, “I don’t want to- to die alone” you sobbed again.
“Shh, I’m here. You’re not alone” He kissed you, “I won’t let you die alone” he held you tighter, “You’re not alone”
And when you died you indeed didn’t die alone. He didn’t let your worst fear come true. But his happened.
He had lost you.
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“John?” you asked through the com.
“Yes, love?”
“Will you marry me? After this is done?” you couldn’t help the smile on your lips.
“Wait, did you just-” Soap spoke but Ghost cut him off, “Shut up”
You waited and after receiving no response you spoke again, “John?”
“I was planning to ask you tomorrow” he chuckled.
“Is that a yes?”
“Absolutely”
“Yes!” You cheered and walked where the man you were looking for was supposed to be. 
Weird, he was not there. Aiming at the door you opened it only to be met with an empty room. “What the-”
Before you could finish your sentence a hand grabbed you from behind and started choking you. Setting yourself free was impossible, but a million thoughts crosed your mind.
The most important one, John.
You tried to talk, alert them that they were here, but you couldn’t. Stepping on his foot with all your strength lossened his grip enough for you to set youself free but before you could grab your gun he aimed his at you.
“C’mon, pretty one. Won’t you tell your team that we’re here?” he laughed at you.
However, the team had heard it all and they were right on their way to find you. Not many minutes later the team appeared, guns aiming at the man.
“It’s very simple. You let her go, we let you live” Price spoke trying to hide his worry and panic.
“How about you let me go and I don’t kill her?” He said, the gun still pointed at you.
“Hell no” You said and you wish you hadn’t. 
“Alright” 
Simon had shot him fast enough but not before he could pull the trigger.
“Y/N!” John run to your side, “No, no, no” he panicked as he took you in his arms, one hand pressing on the wound and the other to your face.
“John” you whispered, “John look at me” you made him look at you. “It’s not your fault”
“I wanted to marry you” he cried kissing your hand. “I wanted to spent my life with you”
“Oh, John” you sobbed, “I wanted that too” you closed your eyes, trying to stop the tears.
“I wanted to grow old with you” he kissed you again, “To live with you”
“I know. I know” you held his hand, “I will see you again, ok? And then I’ll marry you”
He just nodded, and you continued, “We will have all the time in the world”
“Yes, we will” he whispered. “See you then” he said and you closed your eyes, finally resting. You would see him again, he had promised.
And you did see him again. While he was bleeding out on the ground, alone after a mission went wrong, he saw you.
You were so beautiful, wearing white and your best smile. “It’s good to see you again, love”
“I missed you” was all he said as he hugged you again, after so long.
“I missed you too, John” you hugged him back and whispered in his ear, “Now we have all the time”
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wisteria-beach · 9 months
Text
Back to December | C.F
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Pairing: Conrad Fisher x Reader
Summary: Last December you broke Conrad’s heart, now it’s April and seeing him again for the first time he wants to know why (inspired by back to December by Taylor Swift) angst with a happy ending
A/N: initially posted 06/07/23
You’d never really been one for small talk, it all seemed too formal and stiff to you. Standing there and asking the most basic level questions where the answers would barely change the response seemed so menial, so trivial. What did it matter talking about the weather? You wanted to know things about people, their deepest secrets, the things that made their hearts beat and their souls tick.
The first time that you met Conrad Fisher you were 11 almost 12 years old and he was 12 and a half. He was slightly shy at the prospect of meeting a stranger, a stranger his mother wanted him to meet no less and he shuffled over to you on the porch with his arms crossed stiffly behind his back. “I’m Conrad” he said and you nodded “y/n.”
There was a beat of silence then the awkward sound of mosquitos buzzing in the air and your mother and Susannah’s laughter drifting from the kitchen as you stood there. “It’s hot isn’t it?” Conrad finally asked you after a moment and you nodded “yeah.”
He cleared his throat, eyes darting around nervously “erm…so do you like the weather in Cousins?” He asked and you sighed internally, hating the prospect of dreaded small talk. You turned towards him and looked him dead in the eye, seeing the way he gulped but didn’t drop your gaze.
“When was the last time you cried because you were happy and why?” You asked him and he blinked.
“What?”
You looked at him with all the stoicism a tiny eleven year old could muster and repeated “I said when was the last time you cried because you were happy? I don’t care about the weather, tell me something real.”
He thought about it for a second and then almost hesitantly as if he wasn’t sure he should be telling you this he replied “when I won my first football game and dad told me he was proud of me…he’d never said that before.”
You smiled at him and the tension started to roll from his body. In the following years you’d come to cringe when you thought about this interaction, at your brazenness and choice of question, but it was your instant openness that had shocked him and drawn Conrad to you in the first place. Just like that the ice was broken and the two of you were friends, the rest was history.
In the present day that felt like a lifetime ago and in many ways it was. Almost a decade had passed, you were older and time had brought you closer and closer until it snapped and now you might as well have been strangers.
You sat at the table stirring your tea for what felt like the millionth time, the sound of the spoon scraping against the cup jarringly loud against the silence. He was too far away, his body angled away from yours even across the table and you ached with the desire to reach out and touch his hand.
“How’s work?” He asked after what felt like an eternity of silence. You paused the incessant stirring of your tea and looked up at him. His eyes were focused on a sugar packet on the table refusing to let you look too closely.
“I quit” you said and for a second his eyes flashed up, shock evident in his features.
“Oh” he replied “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay” you said instantly “it was a shit job anyway, I think I’m gonna go to college.”
“Really?” You could see that he was remembering how you’d given up your dream college, how you’d moved back home and let the fear of change keep you behind. He was remembering all of the fights that you’d had about not giving up, all the times he’d tried to convince you to follow your heart. It was ironic that it had taken losing him for you to see that he was right, that your stubbornness had only led to regret.
He swallowed “that’s…good” he said “I’m happy for you.”
You were dying inside, the boy you knew would have picked you up and spun you around, he would have laughed, he would have said ‘I told you so’ or teased at the very least. Sitting here, making idle conversation was like sitting with a stranger. It was a performance, an act between two people who knew enough about each other to fill in every single gap but were too shattered to exist together anymore. Two broken puzzle pieces and you only had yourself to blame.
“The weather is miserable” you finally said after another stretch of silence you needed to say something, anything because breathing the still air was starting to feel like inhaling glass “I’ve never seen Cousins like this.”
Conrad turned to face the window, the raindrops beating on the glass were fierce, the wind belligerent and howling. He picked up his cup and sipped slowly his eyes far away as he watched the storm. “It’s like this a lot in the winter, completely different to the summer.”
Your eyes closed automatically, you’d never seen cousins in the winter before except for once. Last December, when it all went wrong, when you tore everything apart.
It hadn’t been raining then, it had been snowing. Powder white snow that crunched under foot covering the little town with a fine mist. Your breath had fogged up the windowpane as you’d driven into town and Conrad had squeezed your hand tight. Everything had started so perfectly, your relationship at that time was so beautiful but so fragile just waiting for the hairpin cracks to fracture.
You could tell that he was thinking about it, about last December with the way that his face was twisted. There was a wrinkle between his furrowed eyebrows he only got when he thought hard, one you’d often teased him for, pressing your thumb over it to smooth out the soft skin. You were too far away to do that now and not just physically, you no longer had the right to tease him, to touch him so casually.
“How’s your mom?” You asked and he looked up from the napkin he was twisting between his fingers and caught your eye for the first time.
“She’s good” he murmured and his voice was tender and full of love. No matter what happened between the two of you you’d always have a shared love for Susannah. No one else in the world apart from Jeremiah understood how wonderful she was like you. “She got the all clear last month…she’s getting better every day.”
You’d heard it from your own mom but hearing it from Conrad directly was still a wave of relief. The bridge between you two narrowed ever so slightly as you shared a look of desperate relief.
Looking into his eyes directly was hell. These were the eyes you’d once called home, the soft blue your paradise and your dreamland. Now there was a wall behind them, the easy openness gone and you couldn’t blame him for that. His guard was up and you knew why.
December flashed across your mind again and you saw Cousins painted in snow once more, picturesque, beautiful and blissfully unaware that in her cold lay the end of it all. You saw Conrad and the bouquet of crimson red roses, so bright and vibrant against the pale grey sky. “I love you” he’d said “I’ve always loved you” the words were so sweet but they tasted bitter when you breathed them in. Everything was happening at once, Conrad was in college and you were working at home so far away from each other. Life had been padding along all this time and suddenly it had decided to sprint and everything was changing. Susanna was sick again, you’d given up your dream, Conrad was changing so afraid to lose his mom. The future which had always been something to look forward to was suddenly a terrifying thought, vast and open and bleak in front of you with no clear direction.
He held out the roses to you, told you that he loved you and asked you to move out to be closer to him and you fled. You abandoned your plans of spending a pre Christmas weekend in Cousins and ran all the way back home. You’d lost everything, most importantly your sense of self and you didn’t feel like you deserved Conrad’s love. You left without turning back, leaving the roses on the kitchen island.
Bizarrely in the coming days, weeks, months as you mulled over your decision the roses would be what you came to focus on. Did he throw them away as soon as you left? Did they wither and crumple at the bottom of the trash can buried under cans of beer and pizza boxes? Or maybe he threw them straight onto the fire, watched them be consumed by flames turning to ash and curling into smoke burning out as fast as the two of you. Or maybe he did what you suspected he did, what the most Conrad thing to do would be. Maybe he put them in his mothers big pink vase on the kitchen window sill…watched them slowly die day by day, petals falling and crumpling to the ground as he waited for you to come back and claim them, unaware that you never would. Did each crumb of hope wither away with every hour that the roses died? You thought that maybe as the scent of their decay filled Susannah’s lovely bright kitchen, cloy and thick in the air, that he finally gave up on you and left December behind.
You couldn’t look at him anymore and you broke away from his eyes shamefully. You looked at the house, the kitchen island, the old white chairs, the fireplace and the white washed walls. It was all so familiar but so different, once again you were seeing it in a new season for the first time and with Spring some of its life had washed away. In every crack in the plaster, every scuff on the hardwood floors there was a memory.
Every summer since you were 11 years old, had taken place in this house. All those beautiful, vibrant days coloured every room in shades of grey, the present failing to compare to the memories of the past.
You saw Conrad sitting next to you at the table, squeezing your hand when Jeremiah teased you. You saw yourself drinking Susannah’s sweet tea on the porch, playing chicken in the pool, laughing till your lungs ached in the living room. The summer everything became new flashed through your mind, Conrad kissing you for the first time on the porch, Conrad with sand in his hair laying beside you. Your hands tangled together, your laughter echoing in the car, sneaking down to the beach at midnight, playing games in the surf. A mirage of happy memories contrasting with the dreary April that you lived in now.
You were silent and sedentary, trying to stop the tears falling from your eyes as you thought about all you’d lost, the memories that made it hard to sleep at night. Conrad was the one to break the silence, his voice cutting over the ringing in your ears and bringing you out of the sunshine filled memories into the grey. “Why are you here?” He asked finally and his voice was defeated, tired and worn.
You swallowed hard, that was the question of the day, the question of the hour. You’d asked him to meet you in Cousins, asked him to drive down in the middle of his college break and he’d done it, despite everything he’d made time to see you and now he needed to know why.
“I-“ your voice caught and you clenched your fist under the table keeping ahold of your emotion “I needed to see you.”
His voice was thick, his gaze steadfast down at the table as he refused to look at you “why? after you left I thought you never wanted to see me again so I need to know why.”
“I made a mistake” you whispered “Conrad I made the biggest mistake of my life when I left you and from the minute I walked out of here I knew it was wrong…I - god” the tears that had been threatening to spill finally flooded out and you couldn’t speak, crying hard, pressing your palms into your eyes desperately trying to stop the flow.
You didn’t hear him stand up, didn’t hear him close the distance between the two of you. You jolted with surprise when you felt his hand on your shoulder, so warm in contrast with the freezing room. He said nothing, looked only at a fixed point above your shoulder but he stepped closer and closer until his chest was level with your head, his other arm stiffly coming to stroke through your hair. Even after everything he was still comforting you and the thought made you cry harder, tears soaking the thin fabric of his Henley.
It reminded you of another night Conrad had comforted you, the first time he’d ever seen you cry. The glum September after your beloved pet died. You were 14 and Susannah brought the boys over for a weekend in an attempt to cheer you up. It resulted in you hiding in your room crying your eyes out when Conrad had tiptoed in. He’d said nothing even then but he’d held you in his arms letting you cry until your breath was rattly and your voice was hoarse. “It’s okay” he finally whispered to you, “I’m here.”
The force of that memory was what made you finally be able to stop the tears, you pulled away and looked up at Conrad, wiping away the tears on the back of your hand. He started to say something but you cut him off “please, please just let me say this” you begged him and he paused before nodding and reluctantly taking the seat opposite you once more.
“I’ve made so many mistakes in my life” you began “so so many but none as big as when I let you go…I never explained it to you I didn’t know how to but you deserve that…I asked you here because you deserve that. I don’t expect you to take me back, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything.” Your voice wavered “I hope we can be friends again one day because well…because I miss you but I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again after this.”
You took a deep breath and he went to speak again but you cut him off. “I left you because I was afraid, I loved you too much and I was so scared that you’d realise I was messed up and leave that I left you myself.”
He made a sound of surprise, indignation, shock you couldn’t tell which but you carried on “you were in college, you’d met all these people and I just felt like I didn’t fit in your life anymore…you were driving for hours almost every weekend coming to see me when you should have been having fun moving forwards but instead I was making you stay stuck with me…”
You finally looked at him “I tried to set you free Conrad, I thought it was for the best but every second of ‘freedom’ has been nothing but missing you, wishing I’d realised that you were right and you were everything to me. From the minute I left this room I’ve lived here, I go back to December all the time wishing I could change my own mind and see what was real, what was my future, because it wasn’t my insecurity or my fears…it was always you.”
Conrad’s eyes were glossy with his own unshed tears and he reached across the table taking your hand in his, squeezing your fingers hard like he couldn’t believe you were there in front of him “I thought you outgrew me” he confessed “I thought I was overcrowding your life, coming around all the time when I was unwanted.”
You shook your head “that couldn’t be further from the -“ and he interrupted you, his words hurried and rushed like he needed to expel them.
“I lied to you” he said “I told you college was good, that I was having fun but the truth was I hated it. I really hated it. I missed my mom, my brother…I missed you. I didn’t care about any of the parties, no one understood about my mom or even understood me…I thought if I hid that from you and made you think I was having fun you wouldn’t see how much of a loser I’d become…that you wouldn’t move onto someone better.”
You stood up abruptly, your chair scraping loudly against the hardwood floor. “Conrad Fisher” you rushed to his side, squeezing his hand tightly “you were never a loser…not to me I had no idea I thought -“
“I should have told you, we should have talked to each other. I could tell you felt scared of the future but all I did was push you when I should have asked what was wrong, don’t take all the blame.”
You sniffled, wiping away a tear “how did we become such a mess?” You asked and he stood up, looking down at your face as he cupped your cheek.
“Life’s a mess” he whispered “but you were always the best part of it.”
You pressed your own fingers over his, closing your eyes briefly “I love you” you whispered “I’ve always loved you.”
You felt his breath fan across your cheek as he exhaled “I love you too, so goddamn much…do you think we could ever be what we used to be?”
You shook your head “no” you replied instantly “because If we loved again I swear I’d love you right, no more roses left to die…all in.”
Conrad blinked “I’d like that” he said “on one condition.”
Your breathing stopped “anything.”
“Let me love you too” he leaned in until your lips were inches apart, blue eyes warm as they stared into yours “please.”
You bridged the gap and kissed him, the cold frost of winter melted away in seconds, December already fading into an old memory. Spring was in bloom and you had a really good feeling that everything would be okay.
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pieroulette · 11 months
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𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐬: 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 | Teaser One
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2023 | 18+ | Series | ENHYPEN OT6 × READER | MASTERLIST
SUMMARY with the absolute order from the highest celestials, six high ranking angels were sent to capture and condemn you—an exceedingly sinful and overpowering succubus to the holy tower for eternity. Capturing you might not be so difficult with them outnumbering you, but the question is; would they be able to keep ignoring your irresistible charms while staying firm to their principles, abiding by the rules, and reciting their prayers forever?
GENRE angels and demons au, romance, reverse harem, angst, fluff, smut
WORD COUNT 1.7k
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"Aaah~ aren't you a pretty little dumb thing?" You sang a song as you approached the cowering human, pressing your heels on his back which caused him to whimper in downright fear.
Your eyes fell upon an unconscious lady against the wall, her lips hanging apart with bubbles dripping from the corners of her lips. And then at the half unzipped pants of the middle-aged men beneath your heel.
What a cute sight, you thought. You only came to the red district to have some little fun with your favourite humans, to feed on their energy and so on. Your eyebrow raises at the thought of meddling with the humans committing sins, you shouldn't have to stop the man from forcing the lady against her will, yeah? The amount of pitch dark energies it would give you would be tremendously high and sufficient for your cultivation as a succubus, so why did you even bother?
At the back of your mind, a tiny voice called out in a moderate volume among any others. Maybe you could save her just for today, she ain't that strong enough to survive but maybe you could let her live one more day free of pain.
"Hm, why, why. Aren't you a big brave baby boy, why don't you show me how hungry you are?" Your finger swayed in a circular motion, casting a dark crimson spell within the man's orb which turn him into madness; his nails grew longer and sharp, screeching against the wet ground. His back arching to the point his lower spine grew out.
Your eyes mesmerised by your creation, you hushed the monster inside the club. "Go ahead, and have your feast."
Pitch darkness engulfed the sky, the city bustling with all sorts of noises and the road heavy with passing vehicles, crowds roaming around the street and alleys.
Walking down the street with your succubus' aura oozing too much with the hot crimson dress hugging your figure had all eyes regardless of gender thirsting over you, even though you didn't try that hard. You smirked at that, you never fail to make them fall for you anyways; asking you for a date that you very well know what it leads to, you politely declined them as your appetite has gone to the drain for no reason.
Pushing the glass door opened, the chill air inside the shop enveloped your bare arms—blending with the red dust particles around your body, replacing the crimson dress hugging you hips into a plain blue shirt with a full covered cardigan and a black skirt.
"(Name)! What are you doing so late outside, don't you have no idea how dangerous it is?!" The old lady with the round glasses on top of her nose, smacked your shoulders with a long sigh.
"Gosh, aunt. Nothing to worry about, I took the cab."
"Still! That's no excuse, didn't you hear that a pervert is roaming around the neighbourhood and a few female students have gone missing?!"
You shook your head in amusement, letting her rant on and on. Oblivious she was to your real identity, as you had kept it as a secret for a couple of years already, moulding your human skin to that of a simple human girl. You tied up your hair to a messy bun, putting your apron on as you went to your daily routine.
Arranging the costumes.
This place belongs to the aunt who had scolded you a moment ago, it's a shop that stood upon the business of embroidering all sorts of costumes or cosplays. It stood firm before the busy street, customers spilling in and out from the entrance every single day as soon as the sun rises. You surely weren't the only worker here, as there are other three that weren't currently present. None of them knew your real form.
It has been nearly a thousand years after you've been banished from heaven, looking back to the night sky—you snickered at memory flashing through your mind; of your fragile form weeping on the heaven's holy entrance. Not that it's important anymore, but surely it's chaos above there isn't? A lot more chaos, you wish rather than pray, for what is there use to pray when the gods above loathed your very existence.
You loathe them too, tremendously even, for what did have they done but threw you out? They didn’t even bother to hear any words from your lips, only sealing it with their powers that you’ve come to hated so much.
The bell rang slightly, unnoticed by you since you were in your thoughts, and your hands weaving the threads altogether. A couple of light taps on the counter had your attention, turning your head to the customer. “Oh- welcome to-”
A bright, prince charming of an image stood before you, taking your breath away instantly as you stuttered along each word you uttered. “What can I help you with, sir?” suppressing the inner smirk threatening to raise the corners of your lips, he sure is damn dashing as hell enough for you to feed on later.
“Um, hi.” He paused, his eyes looking away every couple of seconds. You obviously can see how struck he was at you, by your charms and so on. You wish you could grab a popcorn as you watch his eyelashes fluttering and the roses dusted on his cheeks. “I-ah, cosplay? I had a halloween party this weekend, so I would like to have some customised angel costumes for me and my friends.”
Angel. How cute. He wants to cosplay as an angel? You snickered at that particular word, sure he does look dashing enough to resemble an angel but you sure hope that he atleast doesn’t possess the filthy traits that one particular god had.
“Sure, is there anything you would like to add on your costumes?”
You guided him through the boxes filled with dozens varieties of materials, and you watched him as he took his time in each one of them with the notes flipped open on your hand and a pen on your other, you didn’t need it all, to be honest. Names, words, places and every word you heard are fully ingrained in your mind, never to be forgotten once uttered. That’s why, you had so much trouble with the downside of this ability despite the wonders of it. But the veil of deception you lifted upon you are to be carefully and meticulously tweaked to utter perfection, what is there to complain anyways?
You caught him stealing a few glances at you, a bit amused at his childish actions—you approached him as you wore the seductive smile on your lips. “Is there anything you want help with, sir?” Oh, how bad you want to take him right now. But darkness hasn’t enveloped the sky, and it would be inappropriate to the owner of this shop. Huh? You held the need to laugh at the word, “inappropriate” as if there's anything “appropriate” left in you though?
“See, I’m only asking this since.. Never mind.” he voiced out.
“Go ahead, sir. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“Would you like to be my partner to the party?”
Sure, why not? You happily agreed to his request without any hesitation, what is there hit around the bush for nothing? That ain’t your style; first come, first serve—the golden rules remain the same no matter how many a thousand years had passed.
Yet..
"M-mister, I haven't done nothing, have I? P-please don't hurt me! I'm only a weak girl! There's nothing I could have done to anger you, did I?!" Your arm accidentally slid on the edge of the table, causing you to drop to your knees. Letting out a yelp in the process, your eyes begun tearing up. Lips trembling, you shook your head. "Who are you two?!"
The bustling noises of Halloween party oddly turn into a piercing silence of nothing, all the sounds of life had flee away from the space and only you remain. An ability that you recognise from someone in particular, someone that belongs to a particular kind of creature.
"Quit your act, we know who you are." Sunghoon approached you, the man who is supposedly your customer that asked you to be his partner a week ago. "Lady Succubus, isn't?"
An excruciating silence engulfed a couple of seconds after he uttered those words.
"Ugh, what a bummer. Let me act for a little awhile, yeah?" Your weeping face was replaced with amusement, a low disinterested tone enveloping your voice as you wiped off the tears from the corners of your eyes, getting up on your feet you did as you lazily look at their way. "Angels? It's been awhile since I saw one. I thought they had given up on tying me down. But.." pausing in getting a better look at the two.
They remained silent, not uttering anything yet highly alerted at your presence which has you a tad bit annoyed but after awhile—curiosity arises inside you which had you wondered how many did the angels did the gods sent to you this time? What kind of rules do they had amongst each other or who had the upper hand or who was the weakest?
"—didn't know the gods had such adorable baby angels with them?" You shrugged. "Couldn't they send a much bigger one with muscles or something.. but I'm not complaining."
“B-baby angels?!” Sunoo scoffed in return, “Please, for your information, we’re almost a thousand year old.”
“A thousand years?” Tapping your tongue inside your cheek, you winked at them. "Dom, or sub?"
Taken aback at your bold flirty gesture, Sunoo shook his head along with Sunghoon, tilting his head downwards in attempts to cover the light blush on his cheeks, whispering. "Ugh, she's so-"
‘Why are you even blushing?! Take control of yourself, you’re a high ranking angel!’
‘I know, I know!’ Sunoo screamed telepathically at Jay who interrupted him.
"We're here to capture you, I believe there's nothing to say anymore." said Sunghoon.
"Aw, baby boys like you are gonna do what? Capture me? Might as well tie me down with some rope or something?"
“That’s what we intended to do, actually.” Sunghoon lifted his index finger, taking one last look at Sunoo. "Bound her to the holy tower."
A neon blue light engraved in the speed of light on the ground, patterns of whom you recognised forms into chains and flew out from the ground before your very eyes, entangling your wrist and your neck in a thick metal collar which tightens almost immediately at your resistance.
"Tsk, this is not the rope I was asking for though. But how cute, you think this could do anything to me?" you snapped your thumb against your index finger, particles of crimson dust emerging from the tips—forming into a giant dust creatures that flew around their form, the horrendous long fingers of those creatures tightened around their neck which causes their spell to lose it’s activation on your form.
Something flashes across your line of vision, before you could react—a man in a white shirt and pants, black slicked hair and a tall frame hovering yours—raises his hand up the air, slapping your right cheek that it caused your line of vision pointing towards the ground.
Wiping the blood on the corner of your lip, you scoffed as your eyes fell on the man, seemingly unfazed. "You hit like a bitch, try harder."
Your words alone had his eyebrows twitching in utter annoyance, “I could hit you harder, brat. Sluts like you–”
“Oh, I didn’t know the recent generations of angels got such a feisty tongue. And how so? I’d prefer it... in another way tho.” Your words dusted off cherry hues on the boy's fair cheeks. "Aw, are you blushing?"
“Blushing for a slut like you? The goddesses above are more worthy than you who use such words in order to gain the favour of men.”
"Taking such tremendous pride in your status as an angel, what an awful thing to do."
"Unlike you, who are ungrateful. Drenching yourself in filth despite being given the opportunity by the gods to cultivate yourself to the highest rank of angels, that's what I call an idiot would only do." Jay raised his eyebrow.
You licked your tongues against your fangs, amusement laced in your voice. "A feisty angel indeed, what kind of training did they put you on to be this harsh? Why don't you come to me and see that I can do better?"
"You're nothing but filth, I would never lay my hand on you. Look at yourself."
"Ouch, am I supposed to get offended?" You raised your eyebrow at the boy whose piercing gaze never ceases. "Try harder."
"Quit reasoning with her, Jay." Jungwon appeared behind him, placing his palms on Jay's back. "She's a powerful succubus, remember. Stick with the mission."
"Fine." never breaking his glare at your soul, “No one’s going to save you anyways.”
Forming their hands into patterns were ultimately interrupted with a smoke emerging right before their eyes, your silhouette appearing out of it causing Jay's eyes to widened and his lips hanging apart by the close proximity between you and him; your nose almost brushing against his.
"Cinderella's dead, everybody." You muttered with a bored look on your face, clapping your palms together as you gaze deep into his soul. “Bold of you to assume that she’s still alive.”
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