#it doesn't matter how good she gets or how many people respect or fear her

[junebugtwin]

when you have nothing to live for, its easy to find something to die for.

#worm #parahumans #taylor hebert #skitter #feeling :( about taylor at this moment #my girl... #Taylors problem is mainly being Taylor #unfortunately a problem that cannot be solved with ten million deadly brown recluses #it doesn't matter how good she gets or how many people respect or fear her #(or LOVE her :((( ) #because shes the one who has to live in her own body after everything is said and done #when theres no more dicks to be rotted off or bad guys to maim then shes just stuck with herself in the silence #sigh #my art

[mxtantrights]

where you go, I go

a/n: okay so while I'm writing this whole series for azriel just know that I had this other recurring dream about a plot like this. I couldn't really make it a fully fleshed out story with a happy ending so I decided to type it all out and make it a one-shot with angst and not a lot of comfort (this is your warning, this doesn't end happily) anyways with all of that said, if you decide to read this please enjoy and tell me what you think! <333 also happy valentines day <333

azriel x assassin!fem!reader

5.1k words

The day court was home to many things. Vibrant colors, warm waters, ancient books and of course the very ancient and magical day blade. It's your job to know where that this is at all times.

You can't possibly understand why the shadow singer would try to steal it. Try being the operative word here. While you did sense him enter your court and break into the room where the blade was, it wouldn't have mattered.

Seeing as it is your job to protect the blade at all costs, it never leaves your sight. But that didn't mean you couldn't have fun with those who wanted so badly to get it.

In your pocket you feel a piece of paper appearing suddenly. You reach inside and unfold it. It's Helion. He's requesting your presence. You smile to yourself, this would be fun.

You leave your hiding place, the palace had many hidden rooms and hallways, and walk over to Helion's day room. As you approach from the hallway you can hear multiple conversations being had.

The door is closed so you open it slightly.

"There she is! Come in and greet my guests!" he says happily.

You make sure you face is kept neutral. You had an image to upkeep in this court.

The people respect you and fear you in the same breath. You don't go around killing people but you do often get justice in ways that aren't in the parameters of the law. Whether that be stringing up robbers and looters from their pants, or burning down the houses of dirty criminals.

You keep your eyes straight, not looking any of his guests in the eye. You walk until you are standing behind Helion who sits in his usual seat.

"I was just telling Feyre that I enjoy the new company. This is the inner circle." he says to you.

You nod once.

"She doesn't talk?" Nesta asks.

You know all of them. It's your duty to know The Who's who of the courts. The inner circle of the night court. High Lord Rhysand and High Lady Feyre-Curse breaker. Her sisters Elaine and Nesta. Rhysand's brothers Cassian and Azriel. Morrigan, past fiancee of Eris Vanserra. Amren, a mythical creature of serious power.

Helion laughs at Nesta's question. He knows you talk. He knows you very well, seeing as he practically raised you. But that information isn't public knowledge.

"She does, but not when theres something wrong." Helion answers.

You look at all of them now. How the girl closest to the shadow singer, Elaine, looks worried. And it's quick, you almost don't catch it, but you're so good at your job at this point.

"Trouble in the day court?" Rhysand says.

You lean over and whisper into Helion's ear about the blade. How the shadow singer came here to steal it, on a mission from his high lord. How he thinks he got away with it.

The room goes quiet as you pull back and Helion sits back in his chair. He loves the dramatics you pull off every single time someone tries to take the blade. The last person you caught was really delighted to be drowned in glitter, confetti and manure.

"Is there something you're forgetting?" Helion asks.

Rhysand looks at his inner circle with an incredulous smile. Then he looks to you, no doubt trying to read your mind. You can't imagine this will go over well either.

You can't feel it. The daemati powers that certain fae have don't work on you. You're not really sure why. Might have something to do with your unknown lineage. Or your overall hardheadedness-so Helion says.

Rhysand cocks his head to the side at your unmoving posture. He's still looking at you. You however are taking in the shadow singer. He's sitting there, not bothering to look at anyone. He must really think he got the blade.

"What would that be?" Feyre asks this time.

"Well, when you want something that another has you usually ask." Helion says.

At that everyone at the table grows grim. Caught red handed is what it seems like. You still manage to hide you smile though.

"Helion..." Rhysand starts.

"If you were anyone else I would have you locked up already. But lucky for me my security system is top notch." Helion smiles and grabs his glass for another sip of what could only be wine.

At his words the shadow singer now looks at the high lord. Your high lord. His face bares no emotion, like he can't afford to give a way a secret or smile.

You've heard about his reputation. But at this point that's all it is. He couldn't even steal from you correctly. This has to be the most interesting thing that's happened this year. You don't get around to much outsider business, you tend to stay out of it.

"I don't think it is." the shadow singer says.

Helion stifles a laugh. But you can hear it. And you know if you can hear it they all can. The room is big but not big enough that guests at a table can't hear things.

"Care to relieve them of their misery?" he looks up to you and asks.

You didn't really want to. But then again you'd have to play nice with them. Helion seems to like this group. Or most likely, his son is friends with this group and he wants to be friends with his son.

You sigh, "Take out the blade."

You watch in amusement as everyone at the table looks at each other. As if they all don't know what they really came here for. The shadow singer though, he's different. He's looking right at you.

His shadows materialize the blade right on the table for everyone to see. Cassian, gives him a look. But Azriel doesn't seem to see it or care.

"That's not the blade." Helion quips.

You call the blade to you with your powers. Being gifted with the ability to control sun made objects is fun most of the time. Most living things are sun made in a sense. So really you could control all things, to a certain extent.

The blade comes flying into your hand. As soon as it makes contact with your skin it transforms. The metal of the blade turns into a vibrant green stem. And the helm turns into the face of a sunflower.

Azriel seems to go through a range of emotions. First confusion. Then understanding. And then the last one, well you can't actually pin down the last one. You've gotten good at reading people but he's harder than others.

"The blade is safe in the day court, where it will remain until you ask for it." Helion says.

Rhysand lets of a breath, "I am sorry about lying, but we're short on time."

"And I thought our alliance was stronger than that. I am sorry too." Helion replies.

Helion stands from his seat, causing the others to match his actions. The sound of chairs on marble floors reaches your ears. You take a step back and cross your hands behind your back.

"We need the blade for a mission." Feyre speaks.

"It could be a simple mission or the end of the world. The fact that you have no respect to ask me tells me everything I need to know." Helion says casually.

You know that he is hurt by their lying. It's not deep, but it's there. He thought he could trust them. He thought because they had good relations with him before that they were better than the actions they are displaying right now.

Of course you know of the good bond between them. Which is why you don't understand why they didn't just ask. Unless there is a well justified reason. Why not ask the high lord for the blade unless he was implicated somehow.

How could Helion be implicated in a mission from the night court. He doesn't know anything, or he would have offered them the blade himself. No this is something he's not at the center of. But it still concerns him.

Lucien. You look at the guests around the room. He is no where to be found. True he's not part of the inner circle. He's an emissary. But if it was something the inner circle could simply ask Helion for, why not butter him up with his son?

Lucien may or may not know what going on.

"Where's Lucien?" you ask.

At you question all of the heads move to you. Right, you hadn't spoken to them this whole time. Well you weren't going to give them a smile and greet them kindly.

"What business do you have with him?" Nesta asks.

"He's in Spring. Managing relations." Rhysand answers.

You nod your head. Spring. If that answer can even be trusted. Let's say you do trust it for the moment.

The inner circle needs the day blade. They didn't want to ask for it. They didn't let Lucien come.

"Were you planning on returning it?" you ask again.

Nesta, rolls her eyes at your question. You can't help the giddiness you feel of getting under her skin. You hardly did anything to warrant it. But it felt kind of good.

"As soon as we were done." Azriel answers this time.

You don't ignore the stress he puts not he word soon. You also don't ignore the way his eyes seem to never leave yours.

"That blade is our most powerful weapon. We don't just give it out to anyone." Helion chimes in.

He maneuvers around his chair and stands behind you. When he grips both of your shoulders with his hands, you can tell he's smiling even if you can't see him.

"But I will let you use it," Helion continues, "on one condition."

"Go ahead." Rhysand says.

"Wherever the blade goes, she goes." Helion says.

"That won't be necessary." Nesta says.

At the same time Cassian says, "That's odd."

Helion shrugs his shoulders and lets go of you. He leans into your ear to whisper his next words very carefully. When you understand him and what he wants, you nod your head only once.

He grabs the sunflower from your hands as you uncross them from behind you. Helion stands next to you now. You watch as Helion brings the flower up to his nose and gives it a sniff.

"We agree to those terms." Azriel speaks up.

"Woah hold on-" Rhysand tries to cut in.

"Great. I think this will be beneficial to both courts." your high lord agrees.

You turn to face him now, your back towards the guests. Helion was looking at you with a very faint smile. You heard every word he whispered to you. And you understand the reason why: Family.

What you don't get it is why he won't just speak to Lucien himself. Why play nice with a high lord that knows his son when he can just reach out to him? Invite him to the day court or send him a letter.

Everyone in this room knows Lucien is Helion's son, except Lucien. And now your mission is to tell him so that he might finally have a true place to call home.

Helion wouldn't so easily agree to lending out the blade like this if it weren't for Lucien. And the night court wouldn't try to steal it if Lucien did know, because he could just ask on their behalf.

Your shoulders sag at the thought. You had no interactions with Lucien. You only ever heard of him from Helion and he only started referring to him as his son a couple of months ago.

It'll be you. You'll be the one to see him, come eye to eye to him, and tell him the truth.

You can see it in his eyes. The sadness. You'd do anything for him. He's a father figure to you. And you'll see this through, for his sake and Lucien's too.

"Promise me you'll smile a little bit during your trip." Helion says.

"The Sun Wraith doesn't smile." you answer.

"You're the Sun Wraith?" Cassian's voice asks.

You turn around and face the general. It's all over his face. The look of shock. It wasn't hard to become something of a legend in this court and the ones surrounding it.

"Even people in the night court are scared of you." Nesta says.

On her face seems to be another emotion. Not fear. Not shock. Something lighter amongst the surface. Admiration maybe? You aren't too sure.

"I'll grab my things." you say to no one in particular.

"And the blade." Azriel's voice sounds.

"I never go anywhere without it." you say, reaching behind you.

Grabbing the flaps of your yellow vest you flip it over and your hand wraps around the hilt of the blade. You pull it out for all of them to see.

"Best security in all of the courts." Helion jokes.

-

THREE WEEKS LATER

The mission has barely begun and you hate it here. You hate it in the night court. The days are shorter and you feel pale without even looking into a mirror most days. Nothing beats the sun of the day court on your skin.

Amren had told you it would get better. After your first meeting she had taken a liking to you. You were told by several members in the inner court that it was no easy feat. She talked to you the most out of everyone.

Second to her, came Nesta who was just curious about the things you allegedly did or did not do. You held off on telling her anything too juicy. It was funny toying with her with the details. She also likes your fighting style. Morrigan too.

Azriel talks to you. Sometimes. He's friendly to a point. Cassian is more friendlier than him but you're starting to understand it's just in his nature. Feyre and Rhysand are cordial. Elaine is, well you've been told that she's nice but you haven't really seen it. She greets you but that's it.

The inner circle didn't get on your nerves. But you also had your own mission. Deliver the news to Lucien that Beron isn't his father, Helion is.

Which is why though this whirlwind of a mission you're laying down on path of grass outside of the House of Wind. Weird. What was even weirder was the fact that Velaris, a secret city inside of the night court, has existed for so long with no one none the wiser.

You squeeze your eyes shut. Trying to turn your brain off. It wasn't working. The sun wasn't the same, it does't feel the same. You can't call off this mission either.

"Is this what you do in the day court?"

You'd know that voice anywhere. Which is weird to say as you've known the male for a couple of weeks now. But it's true. Azriel's voice was distinguishable from others. A bit low, but still soft. Clear.

"Yes." you answer.

"Is that all the explanation you can give me?"

"Yes."

You think he'll go away. He plays nice because you have the blade. He needs the blade, which means he needs you. Once he no loner needs the blade he won't need you.

When you hear the sound of him getting closer you want so badly to open your eyes. But you don't. You keep them closed. As much as you want to open them and see what he's doing.

The sound of him laying down beside you on the grass is one you weren't expecting. Also the feeling of soft cold tendrils nipping at your arm.

"It feels...nice. A bit cold." he speaks.

Of course he'd complain about he cold. Nesta had told you that Illyrians were whiny babies. You'd seen it personally when Cassian couldn't get a certain dish because there were no more potatoes for the day.

And now here his brother is. Complaining.

You hold up your left hand, the one close to him.

"Give me your hand." you command.

You half expect him to decline. To maybe even get up and leave. Or maybe say that he doesn't mind the cold. The other half of you expects him to just listen you-to see where it goes.

He takes your hand. You focus on letting the additional warmth you normally feel from the sun flow from your hand and into his.

Out of all the things you half expect and do expect, his laugh is something you don't plan for. It's deep. It comes from his core. It's gentle too. Which you wouldn't get just from looking at him.

"It's warm." he says.

"That's how the sun feels in the day court." you answer.

"I think you just spoke more than three words to me."

You scoff, "Don't get used to it."

"That was four words."

"Shut up."

"Two. We're regressing."

"Azriel."

"I'll be quiet now."

This is how you spend your time. If you are not training with Morrigan, Amren and Nesta. Or not eating with Cassian in the kitchen. You are laying out on the grass with Azriel in the sun.

It happens more times than you care to admit as the mission goes on.

-

ONE MONTH LATER

This place, Velaris, was starting to grow on you. You didn't want to admit that out loud, or in your letters to Helion. Or how well you were gettign on with Azriel. The trips into the city, the lingering glances and words with hidden layers.

You letters should only have on subject, Lucien.

He has been back from the spring court for two weeks now. You've taken that time to get to know him. You couldn't fathom unleashing the truth on him as a stranger. You don't need to be his friend. But he needs to at least trust the words coming out of your mouth when you say them.

Family dinner they called it. Even though only three of them were related to each other. But you guess that what makes their family unique. They choose each other, every day.

This meal was special. Seeing as you had finished the mission that Helion sent you on to protect the blade. There was a fae that needed to be tracked down and would only come out of hiding if he could see the sun blade.

Of course you didn't let him, but you did convince him that the fake blade you passed onto him was the real thing. When he found it wasn't after he revealed his intentions with it he got angry.

Angry enough to rain hellfire down on both you and Azriel. If it weren't for your fast thinking and powers you both wouldn't have made it out in one piece.

Now you're sat with the inner circle to celebrate your feat.

Someone clears their throat. This drags your gaze from the redheaded male to the dark haired one. The both of them were sitting in front of you.

How the mother is cruel and precious at the same time. One male is your mission which you planned for. The other male you didn't plan for, and yet...

"Az was asking if you miss home." Morrigan says from your side.

"Dearly. But its not bad here." You speak, not quite realizing what you just did.

You watch as Azriel's smile grows and grows on is lips. It hits you then.

"Wipe that smile off your face before I take it back." you say to him.

"No I don't think I will." he jokes.

You shake your head with a light laugh. You can pick up on his laugh too from across the table.

"Well if it means anything, you fit in well here." Amren speaks up.

Everyone at the table quiets down at that. You look over at her, peering around Morrigan. You nod once at the sentiment.

"You need to tell him." Elaine says suddenly.

You look to her sharply. She's gotten better about speaking to you. More than a greeting but still less than a conversation. It does weird you out some times but you let it go for the most part.

"Oh?" you ask rhetorically.

"Elaine I don't think we should discuss this here." Feyre starts.

"He needs to know." Elaine says again.

It upsets you. She is his mate. She is the one connected to him. She has known this secret longer than you. But you'll be the one to tell him? She doesn't want to get her hands dirty. None of them do.

"What do I need to know?" Lucien asks all of a sudden.

You look to him. Hoping nothin is being given away by your face. When no one answers him he scoffs lightly to himself and looks around at the table.

This is happening now.

"It's obviously about me, none of you can look me in the eye except for her." Lucien continues.

"I can tell you, in private." you offer.

He nods his head and gets up from his seat. You follow his lead and get up too. The two of you walk out of the dining room and onto the balcony. You pull the door close behind you.

"Before you say anything, do they all know about this?" he asks.

He can't be asking about Elaine. She's the whole reason you're having this conversation right now. No, he's talking about Feyre. His friend. Or who he thought was his friend.

What can be left of a friendship after a lie like this?

"Yes." you answer simply.

Lucien shakes his head, "Okay, you can tell me now."

You take him in. The tense shoulders. The bowed head. His hair is perfectly combed behind his back. In this light, he looks like Helion. Not too much, but just enough.

How do you up end someone's life?

"Lucien do you ever think about what it felt like growing up with Beron as your father?" you ask.

Lucien looks at you sharply, "It was unspeakable. I wouldn't wish that life on anyone."

"And it shouldn't have been yours either." you reply.

His brows furrow. Right in the middle like they want to meet so badly. You wonder if he's felt like an outsider before. If he's ever felt it amongst his brothers. The black sheep.

"When my mission is over here, do you think you could come back with me to the day court?" you ask softly.

His face goes from confusion to somewhat understanding. But you haven't told him enough for him to completely get what you're saying, what you're asking of him.

"A couple of times Eris tried to make me visit the day court." Lucien admits.

You nod your head at that. Of course. Ever the perfect actor. You knew him for a little slice of time in your life. A period in which you won't ever forget. He was your first kiss. You were young and kids, trying to figure out your own way in life.

Kissing Eris, the treacherous fox of the autumn court, was every bit exciting at your age. You gossiped, and word got around. But he didn't deny it. For all the lies and manipulation he pulled you thought he might say you were delusional, that you had made it all up. But he backed you claim.

Eris knew Lucien wasn't Beron's son. Eris probably protected him as best he could. In his own, Eris way. Whatever that means.

"You can invite him too." you say.

Lucien looks past you. No doubt at the inner circle lingering inside. If you were in his position you wouldn't even go back in there. You'd never talk to any of them again.

"I'll take my leave now, but thank you. For being honest." he says.

You give him a small smile, "To be clear I was to tell you the news in a gentle manner. What just happened was out of my hands."

"I get it. I'll see you around." he says.

You bid him goodbye. Then he's walking past you. You hear the door open and how voices inside seem to call his name. You don't hear him respond to any of them. You hear the front door slam.

With a breath you turn around and head back inside too. When you do everyone is looking right at you. It unnerves you. You hate it.

"I've done your dirty work now. I think I'll call it a night." you speak.

"He didn't deserve to find out like that." Feyre says.

"You're right, he deserved honesty from his friends." you retort.

"You were sent here to tell him the truth. Am I wrong?" Rhysand asks.

You turn to face him clearly. You can't believe he just said that. You cannot believe he formed the words with his mouth to say that to you.

Without saying another word you walk right out of the dinning room. You ignore Nesta and Amren calling out to you. And you ignore the shadow that walks with you right out of the room and into he hallway.

As soon as you get inside of your guest room the shadow disappears.

SUNRISE, THE NEXT DAY

You're skip training and packing for home instead. You wish you could pack faster but that isn’t possible. You don’t want to be here for another second. Not in this court, not among the inner circle.

When you throw in your last few shirts into the luggage a knock raps on the door. You don’t know who it is, but if it is Rhysand or Elaine you won’t open the door.

“Who is it?” You ask.

“It's me, can you open up?”

You go over to the door and open it. Standing there on the threshold is Azriel.

“I’ll be leaving soon.” You say.

His eyes seem to widen at that. You watch as he peers over you and takes in the bareness of the room, and the packed luggage. He straightens himself out.

“Why so soon? It feels like you just got here.” He replies. 

Based on his words alone he doesn’t want you to leave. You can feel it too. How it’s only been a month or so but the two of you are comfortable around each other. 

You sigh, “The mission is over.”

“And we’re back to this? Four word sentences?” He asks.

“Azriel.”

He looks down both sides of the hallway. His head turning left then right. Then he’s turning back to you. He looks nervous. Antsy. He doesn’t normally look that way. He’s usually so composed. 

He takes you by surprise. He side steps into the room and closes the door behind him. At that you know your eyes go wide. He holds up his hands in defense.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for that but I just—are you mad at me?” He asks.

You scoff, “Yes I am.”

“Okay I knew that, but I was also confused because on that mission you saved my life.”

“Hardly.” You answer simply.

He groans at your one word answer, “You made sure those arrows didn’t plant themselves in my wings. You made sure I was safe.”

“It was nothing.” 

“No it was something.” 

You’re catching on now to how tense he is. Tense or nervous you can’t tell. His eyes are frantic. His breathing is also uneven. And his shadows are fully out on display now.

You do the one thing you can think of. You reach out for his hand. He doesn’t even seem to notice it. When you make contact he looks you in the eye. “Please calm down.” You whisper.

He bows his head, his hair covering his face now. All of a sudden he sinks to his knees. The action catches you completely off guard. 

“I’m sorry.” He says again.

You focus on sending him warmth from your hand. In a second you can see his shoulders begin to shake. From this angle you can’t tell just yet if it’s what you think it is. 

So you bring your free hand to the side of his face. You feel it. In the palm of your hand you feel his wet cheek. He’s crying. Azriel the shadow singer is crying, on his knees in front of you.

“I could have died and for the first time in a very long time I felt this deep regret in the bottom of my belly.” He chokes out.

What would he have to regret? 

Slowly you drag you hand down his cheek. You place your pointer finger under his chin. Titling his head up, you meet his eyes. From this close you hadn’t realize how many shades of brown they hold.

“Azriel, you’re okay. I promise you you’re okay.” You whisper.

He shuts his eyes, more tears flowing down his face now. 

“I don’t think I will be.” He admits.

“Why?” You ask.

He opens his eyes again. 

“Because you hate us now, you’ll never come back here.” He answers.

In a sense he was right. Not totally. You didn’t hate the inner circle. You just couldn’t stand what they did last night. How they acted, how none of them would fess up. Even though some of them had known Lucien for a long time.

But you didn’t hate them. You didn’t hate him.

“I don’t hate you.” You reply.

“I could see it on your face last night. And now, you’re leaving so quickly. You want nothing to do with us.” He adds on.

There’s silence between the two of you. The emotions Azriel is feeling right now feel heavy. Way too heavy for someone he’s only spent about two months with. 

You had heard many rumors about him. But him being like this, wearing his heart on his sleeve like this? You don’t think you could have ever imagined it.

Remembering that he’s waiting for you to answer, you remember to speak.

“Yes I’m upset and I want to go home. But that doesn’t mean I never want to see you again. Azriel I really enjoyed my time with you.” You speak.

You don’t realize it but your hand is stroking his now. 

He gives you a look you can’t figure out, “Why does it feel like that time is over already? Like I’ll never see you again?” 

He reaches up and places your hand on his cheek again. You don’t emit the warmth from there but he nuzzles into your hand like you are. His thumb rubs back and forth on the back of your hand there.

“You talk like everything is set in stone. Like there is only one path.” You say.

“I can just, sense it.” He explains barely.

You shake you head, “Azriel I was always going to leave.”

“Not like this. Last night changed everything.” He says, but it comes out more like a whisper.

“Get up.” 

He looks at you, a bit of shock. You watch as he follows your command and gets back on his feet. He keeps your hand pressed to his face the whole time. Your other hand falls to your side.

“You can come visit me.” You say.

He’s silent. Silent but he nods his head at your words. You’re not sure if he believes you fully. But it’s enough. He wipes the tears from his face. His wings perk up, off the floor now.

You wrap your arms around his body before you can think against it. Instantly you feel his arms around you. Pulling you closer. He rests his head on top of yours. It feels right. It feels natural. No, it feels like something else too.

It feels the exact same way the sunlight in the day court feels on your skin. Like it is meant to be.

part two here!

#azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel fic #azriel one shot #acotar x reader #acotar imagine #acotar fic #acotar one shot

[sinisteryanderescribe]

Hii i rlly like ur writing so could u write this?

Hanma and kazutora (seperate) with a gf that's also a valhalla member, but she's more to collecting info and pickpocketing certain things (a policemans walkie talkie to know if there are police near or something)

And she also attends meetings but keeps to herself most of the time. Also the other members are too scared to talk to her bc she always has a resting btch face, and most likely bc shes also the gf of their captains. But in reality if anyone were to talk to her she'd be the funniest and unhinged

A Soft touch in Valhalla

Charecters: Hanma Shuji / Kazutora hanemiya

Female reader

Genre: SFW, fluff, romance,

Warnings: slight possessive behaviour, mentions of trauma on kazutora’s side, slight explicit behaviour

Note : thank you so much dear! I hope this came out okey!

…………………………………………………………………………….

Hanma Shuji

Being in a dangerous gang for an average girl is very interesting indeed. Most would call you crazy for being involved in gang related activities but who knew you would find yourself dating the leader of one of the biggest and violent gangs in Tokyo Japan.

It was your boyfriend’s idea really, with his constant nagging for you to join him and be by his side, helping him with “collecting” some information or using your “gym stealth” to good use.

But really it was mostly an excuse to have you sit on his lap every meeting with a hand on your thigh to keep you from getting up no matter how much you complain to him about it. This man loves to tease and squeeze the flesh of your plump thighs.

ESPECIALLY if it’s in front of the members of his gang, it’s more of a sign of possession, warning them if they try anything funny, there will be consequences…..

It also may be another reason to show you off to kisaki, a mocking way of telling him how he “can’t get any bitches” but anyways he managed to convince kisaki to let you join. Much to his dismay Kisaki was pretty impressed by your performances.

You have a strong sense of humour, but you tend to show it in subtle ways. Hanma appreciates that you can understand him without words and has found it really easy to communicate with you. You two share a special connection, but also a quiet intensity that few others understand.

When it comes to your relationship with the other gang members, you keep most of them at arm's length. But that doesn't mean you aren't aware of their comings and goings. They definitely know they should be careful around you.

Seeing what happened to the last guy that disrespected you…..definitely taught them a lesson not to mess with anything that belongs to their leader. Yet again you still gave him some home made cookies and muffins after he apologised.

The members have a lot of respect for you. They may find your stoic exterior intimidating, but your strong and confident nature commanded respect. They know you're not someone to be crossed, but they also know that you're a valuable member of Valhalla. It sometimes upsets you how they see you as someone to fear (hanna might have something to do with it) but you try your best to use your baking as a way to make them less tense.

Hanma even reassured you of that.

"The rest of the gang members always know to watch their backs doll. You're skillful and the information you gather helps the gang stay a step ahead of their rivals ;your ability to steal important items has saved us many times. No need to worry doll face"

…………………………………………………………………………….

Kazutora Hanemiyu

It’s was quite a surprise to see Kazutora in a relationship due to his…past actions. Let alone have a girl be interested in him but some people would say they were glad. Since you would be able to control or calm him down whenever he’s on edge.

Despite the heavy demeanour you carry, you’re always open to have a nice conversation with the others, though it sometimes tends to be a challenge. (Your boyfriend’s piercing glares and menacing smiles whenever someone thinks to even come close to you doesn’t help either)

As Kazutora's girlfriend, you have developed a unique role within Valhalla. You are his trusted confidant and adviser; He shares private details about his plans and strategies with you.

He values your input. Your performances has made you a key member of the gang, and he relies on you for your advice and insights. While your responsibilities sometimes require you to keep a distance from him, you know that he will always be there when you need him.

You have developed a strong bond with both Kazutora. While you may often be overlooked, your place within Valhalla is irreplaceable.

Though life as a gang member may often be unpredictable and chaotic, one thing remains constant: your relationship with Kazutora. You have stood by each other's side through good times and bad, and have supported one another.

You have a deep and lasting bond with him knowing how his past often haunts him and gives him certain unpleasant episodes. So you always let him pull you closer whenever your around him.

Let him nuzzle your hair and neck, no matter how embarrassing it seems your sent and perfume relaxes his nerves. Also he always places small kisses on the flesh of your neck before meetings, (or rather if he’s feeling territorial he’ll bite down hard enough to leave a mark)

Kazutora's role and status within Valhalla have always made you an object of caution among the gang members. Whenever you attend meetings and gatherings, they tend to keep their distance from you. Some may even avoid eye contact with you completely, out of fear that you might lash out or react violently, given how your face is always stone cold.

Despite this cold and stoic look, you have always been friendly and welcoming whenever they approach you, and over time have built up a reputation for yourself as a welcoming and approachable figure within the gang.

However, while most of the members may be intimidated by your relationship with Kazutora, some might not. There might be those who try to form alliances with you and use your connection to Kazutora to their advantage.

Some members may not even notice you and think you're not there. Others might want to talk to you but are afraid to approach you. Overall, your relationship is a mixed bag of reactions within the gang. But regardless of the reactions, everyone knows not to mess with you, as you're someone who belongs to Kazutora.

Some cakes and snacks might change their perspective though so easing their minds with some heartwarming bakes and food would do the trick!

Look out for a jealous little kitty though…he might not like the attention you give to other men.

ESPECIALLY if it’s Hanma…

…………………………………………………………………………….

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers hanma #tokyo revengers kazutora #tokyo revengers x female reader #tokyo revengers x reader #hanma x reader #kazutora x reader #x reade #x fem reader #hanma shuji #kazutora hanemiya #tokyo rev #hanma Shuji x fem reader #kazutora hanemiya x fem reader #tokyorev kazutora #tokyorev hanma

[nrdmssgs]

can you write something with reader and gromsko and how gromsko would treat her if she was his wife? i’ve heard some seriously questionable things about polish people from my boyfriend, he could be biased but from what i know they are super misogynistic and gromsko gives off traditional vibes yknow.

Masterlist

Wow, that is a very interesting request, actually!

First of all, I am very sorry, that your boyfriend had bad experience with Polish people and I really hope, that things get better. My very first work was in a Polish company, and I've met the sweetest, nicest people there. There was literally one issue - I was young, tiny and underweight, and they all felt sorry about that and constantly tried to feed me.)) So the reason I'm telling this here is to highlight, that there are so many different people in every country.

I don't have anything against authors, who chose to depict him as very traditional (in a negative way) person. It is always important to not forget, such people exist. But I want to offer you a slightly different approach to him. Let's just call it an experiment and see, if it works both for you and me, ok? We will keep this guy traditional more or less, but shift him to a non-toxic side.

Husband Gromsko HCs

Long before the marriage, he takes you with him on a trip across Poland to meet his relatives. Won't stop until you meet everyone. Grannies, aunties, nieces - everyone. You are about to become part of his family and it's important to him, that you are truly integrated in the family and shown love from every single part of it.

He asks his parents to bless your marriage, and definitely asks your parents to let him make a proposal to you. It is not that he is dependent - he was raised in a culture, where respect to elderly is everything.

Regardless of how devout he and you are (even if you are an atheist), Gromskо will persuade you to a traditional wedding ceremony.

If you do not belong to any church or are simply a representative of another faith, he will not rest until he persuades the priest of his native church to allow you two to marry.

Yes, this guy will start to fight for your marriage long before it even starts. He doesn't try to force you into faith though. If needed - he is ready to pray for you both. Because you are his love and Sobieslaw has enough faith to keep you in Gods good books.

Once you are his, truly and finally his - Sobieslaws mind is all concentrated on two objectives: domesticating you and welcoming children in your family.

His biggest fear is to fail you. And in his mind, keeping you on your work equals failing you. If you worry about money - it means to Gromsko, that he doesn't provide well enough.

It will take a lot of talking to change his mind. But eventually he will understand. No matter, what he is taught to believe - you, his wife, love of his life, come first. Always. If you are 100% sure, this is the way, you want to live - he will support your choice to keep your work.

He wants children. Not a single child - children. It will break his heart, if you are not in the same boat with him on that one. He won't push you too hard, won't give ultimatums - but he will constantly try to bring the similar wish into your mind.

He is a 'look how adorable these little ones', 'look how tiny this baby beanie is' type of guy. Watches his friends kids on the playground, while embracing you lovingly and whispering 'they are sweet, but our little treasure would be the sweetest'.

If you are as enthusiastic as he is, and you get pregnant - prepare to meet doctor Gromsko. He won't leave your side, not for a day, even if it affects his career. Who gives a f**k about work stuff, when the most important person out there prepares to gift him the second most important person in his life?

He will monitor you constantly, take you to every single check up, make sure you get all the essential vitamins, have enough of fresh air daily and NO stress.

Will welcome his child with tears, will cover your face with frantic, desperate kisses afterwards. "Dziękuję kochanie... dziękuję, dziękuję,dziękuję*!"

Gromsko loves it, when everybody knows, that you are his and he is yours. So please, if you take off your wedding ring for any reason - wear it on a chain as a necklace. Otherwise, he will be terrified, that it is a sign, you don't want him by your side anymore.

He is constantly worried, you might get sick, so he makes sure, you are always warm, you eat well (no matter what your body type is, his granny will still call you too thin, so Sobieslaw will worry about that), you get health checkups every now and then (even if you are feeling perfect!!!).

The most supporting guy, if you decide for any reason, that you don't want to work actively and choose to stay at home.

Gromsko won't just settle with 'ok, good, now I finally have a stay at home wifey'. He will make sure, you like every part of your home, have enough time and space for your hobbies, feel safe and loved.

By the way, the guy looks like the 'I'll build our house on my own' type. Who, if not him, knows better, what makes an ideal home for you and him? Of course, you can choose all the decorations, materials and so on. But he is the one, doing the building.

Dziękuję kochanie… dziękuję, dziękuję,dziękuję - Thank you, love... thank you, thank you, thank you.

#cod mw2 #cod #cod modern warfare #call of duty #cod x reader #call of duty mw2 #gromsko #modern warfare 2 #mw2 #modern warfare ii #gromsko mw2 #gromsko x reader #mw2 x reader #specgru cod #gromsko cod #sobiesław kościuszko #sobiesław kościuszko x reader #call of duty x reader

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART FIVE

we won't survive this if we don't stand together.

it is through conflict that we strengthen our bonds.

the next resolution may not end in her favor.

it's a question that burns in my belly day and night.

have you been looking at my differently?

i was too hasty to judge you.

i thought you witless, gutless, and unimpressively bland.

i thought you cruel, stubborn, and judgmental.

you have stoked fires i didn't know i possessed.

you've gained my respect.

you know how to set my heart racing.

we'll kiss and make up in our own time.

someone prodding at a newly opened wound doesn't help matters.

admirable conviction.

how can you go through all this trouble and not understand why?

secrecy is ingrained in me.

i like night orchids and can't swim.

i can't remember much of myself.

i hope that's the end of this silly quarrel.

killing's never my first choice, but they were too dangerous to leave alive.

i've come to sate you, and be sated.

time for pleasure has passed.

there's something i want to talk to you about, something important.

i owe you my life.

i may not have survived that night without you.

i'm trying to say that you've earned my trust in a way very few ever have.

i'm not usually one to elaborate if i can avoid it.

most fear the dark, because in darkness they see their fears reflected.

in darkness we do not hide, we act.

you pray with such conviction.

the presence of your goddess must fill your whole being.

perhaps we need not speak farewells.

i never pictured myself as a hero.

never thought i'd be the one they toast for saving so many lives.

i hate it, this is awful.

i would've liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.

all i want is a little fun.

it's not you, it's me. i have standards.

you have no idea how good it feels to see these people smiling.

don't waste a night like this talking to me.

i thought you might care to have a drink with me.

i rarely imbibe, the stuff goes right to my head.

before you know it, i'd be breaking into song or declaring love to the first person i laid eyes on.

you strike me as extremely resourceful.

there are many grateful people here who want to spend time with you.

i must not keep you all to myself, as enjoyable as that may be.

this might be the wine talking, but i'm feeling inspired.

look at them all, guzzling poison l ike we've the right to be happy.

i need to dance.. nope, i need to lie down.

the others will kill me if i keep you all to myself.

spontaneous thank-yous make me suspicious.

this is a night for celebration, not suspicion.

amid all this merriment, i wasn't sure we'd have a chance to speak this evening.

were our bond a little stronger, i might even have shared a moment of magic with you.

our fledgling acquaintanceship has not yet taken flight.

such intimacy will have to wait.

they could not match your nerve today.

it was enough to drive me to madness.

i won't be nursing their pounding heads and sicks stomachs in the morning.

everyone seems to be in high spirits.

you know who i never thought i'd find myself caring for.

i think you'll find i've been showing ample concern for myself since the moment we met.

share a bottle with me?

i'll find you after everyone's turned in for the night.

i think a toast is in order. any suggestions?

sounds like you just need a little more liquid inspiration.

you're beautiful.

i know [i'm beautiful], but you're sweet to notice.

i'll trust your judgement.

i do not truly care if you approve.

that night meant a lot to me.

i'm not sure what kind of sourtship we'll be afforded, given all that we're facing.

if you want to see where this goes, i do as well.

we share something special.

my people are nothing if not resourceful.

thought i'd shaken you for good.

that'll teach me to underestimate you.

she's trying to trick us, don't believe her lies.

when i saw an opportunity to get away, i took it.

you're asking me to trust a devil.

i don't want this to end badly for either of us.

you know monsters, right? better than anyone?

thought i was going to have to take your head.

there have been enough threats today.

how would you feel about helping me kill some evil bastards?

turns out i've got a knack for killing demons.

she looks like she could throw me over her shoulders and carry me to safety.

i'd hug you if it wouldn't scorch your skin off.

she's got the brawn of a warrior and the wiles of a survivor.

she speaks her mind, plainly and fully.

in other circumstances, i would have done the same.

best to not dwell on nights past.

you've been naughty.

you know what happens when you're naughty.

aren't you a luscious thing.

if i had a warm heart, i'm sure it would be skipping.

i've taken more pleasant shits than you.

that's no kind of talk for a lady.

you better not lay a damned finger on [name].

a promise broken, a price paid.

been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that.

he's a good man, maybe the best of us.

the sex gets better the more experience you have with someone.

#bg3 meme #text meme #rp sentence meme #sentence prompts #rp sentences #sentence meme #sentence starters #starter sentences #starter meme #rp sentence prompts #rp starters

[baki-tiene-un-simp]

Hiii, could you please make some hc for guevara, mumon, musashi and retsu with an s/o that is basically an abnormality, for example she has like 4 arms because she was suposed to have a twin but she like ate her in the process and is like albino bit still has some color in her hair like blond and ginger and is like deaf due to the amount of abnormalities that she has and has like spots on her body due to vitiligo and things like that, like a really really weird s/o that is like extremely unic.

I would like to see musashi's reaction like thinking she is like a ghoul or an goddess or even an angel or something.

Sorry if it's too long or it doesn't appeal to you.

Have an amazing day and hope everything is ok with you 💕💕💕

Situation: S/O with some bodily peculiarity / S/O con alguna particularidad corporal.

Characters: Jun Guevara, Mumon Katsuragi, Musashi Miyamoto and Retsu Kaioh.

Jun Guevara.

He cannot believe what he sees, they must be a deity that came down from the heavens to delight humanity with their presences, so majestic and merciful.

No one should doubt his love for his S/O, there is simply no more way for Jun to show how much he loves his S/O in case anyone has any doubts, no matter how they look.

As if this man could find anything wrong with his partner, really, he is an idiot in love with the sea and his S/O. There's nothing else on that head other than his S/O. I'll even leave it at this point, it's just obvious.

Mumon Katsuragi.

Mumon can be curious, but he is extremely laid back, he won't dig too deep if the S/O's are reluctant to talk about their aspects.

He may be a little silly, but he is not an idiot and he knows how to read people, so he will be in charge of making his S/O feel at ease when they are with him.

Sporadic and sincere praise, smiles and good wishes. He is sweet.

If they ever seek to be heard, Mumon will be there, he will listen to their insecurities and make them feel loved. He can understand if they feel too left out in some places and will comfort them for that.

He can make his S/O happy, no matter what they look like, he loves them.

Musashi Miyamoto.

To be honest, I think he would see the S/O as some kind of supernatural deity or spirit.

His mind is greatly influenced by traditional beliefs where he respected and feared supernatural creatures because they brought fortune or destruction.

I think he would kneel in front of the S/O after watching them uncomfortably for a while, asking for wisdom and strength to continue getting stronger.

A little reluctant to stop believing that they are deities, even if someone else or the S/O themselves explains that this is not the case. He'll stop mentioning it out loud, but I'm sure he still believes it.

Their relationship is a little strange at first for this very reason; Many people ask for kisses/blessings from their partners for good luck as motivation, while Musashi will firmly believe that his S/O does grant him luck.

He is the most faithful and devoted admirer of his S/O, he is also the most dangerous, he does not accept insults towards his S/O. They are warned.

Retsu Kaioh.

MY man is really understanding, he wouldn't be able to single out anyone for any particularity, because that's not honorable.

For this man, the sentimental and spiritual connection is painfully important, it is at a level far above the physical appearance.

The S/O will not need to worry about awkward questions when talking to Retsu, he would never point out the S/O's particularities unless they themselves are willing to talk about it. He understands that some people don't like to talk about these issues, so he won't touch it.

If they dare to talk about their aspects, they can trust that Retsu will listen, perhaps the question of “Does this affect your health?”, will leave Retsu's lips listening to them. That's all he cares about.

I'm not trying to say he's the best option yes that's exactly what I mean, I just want to clarify.

Versión en español

Jun Guevara.

Él no puede creer lo que ve, debes ser una deidad que bajo de los cielos para deleitar a la humanidad con su presencia, tan majestuosa y misericordiosa.

Nadie debería dudar sobre su amor por su S/O, simplemente ya no hay más forma en que Jun pueda demuestre cuanto ama a su S/O por si a alguien le queda dudas, se vea como se vea.

Como si este hombre pudiera encontrar algo malo en su pareja, de verdad, es un idiota enamorado del mar y de su S/O. No hay nada más en esa cabeza aparte de su S/O. Incluso lo dejaré hasta aquí, simplemente es evidente.

Mumon Katsuragi.

Mumon puede ser curioso, pero es extremadamente relajado, no indagará demasiado si el S/O se muestra reacio a hablar sobre su aspecto.

Puede ser un poco tonto, pero no es idiota y sabe como leer a las personas, por lo que se encargara de hacer sentir a gusto a su S/O cuando estén con él.

Elogios esporádicos y sinceros, sonrisas y buenos deseos. Es dulce.

Si alguna vez buscan ser escuchados, Mumon estará ahí, escuchará sus inseguridades y los hará sentir queridos. Puede entender si se sienten demasiado excluidos en algunos lugares y los consolará por eso.

Él puede hacer feliz a su S/O, sin importar como se vean, él les ama.

Musashi Miyamoto.

Para ser honesta, creo que él vería al S/O como una especie de deidad o espíritu sobrenatural.

Su mente está sumamente influenciada por las creencias tradicionales en donde se respetaba y temía a las criaturas sobrenaturales porque daban fortuna o destrucción.

Pienso que se arrodillaría frente al S/O después de obsérvales incómodamente por un rato, pidiéndole sabiduría y fortaleza para seguir haciéndose fuerte.

Un poco reacio a dejar de creer que son deidades, aunque alguien más o el propio S/O le explique que no es el caso. Dejará de mencionarlo en voz alta, pero seguro que lo sigue creyendo.

Su relación es un poco extraña al principio por esto mismo; muchas personas piden besos/bendiciones de sus parejas para la buena suerte como motivación, mientras que Musashi creerá firmemente que su S/O sí le otorga suerte.

Es el más fiel y devoto admirador de su S/O, también es el más peligroso, no acepta insultos hacia su S/O. Advertidos están.

Retsu Kaioh.

MI hombre es realmente comprensivo, él no sería capaz de señalar a nadie por ninguna particularidad, porque eso no es honorable.

Para este hombre es dolorosamente importante la conexión sentimental y espiritual, está a un nivel muy por encima del aspecto físico. Muy por encima.

El S/O no necesitará preocuparse por preguntas incómodas al hablar con Retsu, él jamás señalaría las particularidades del S/O a menos que este mismo este dispuesto a hablar de ello. Entiende que a algunas personas no le gusta hablar de estos temas, así que, no lo tocara.

Si se animan a hablar de su aspecto, pueden confiar en que Retsu escuchara, quizá la pregunta de “¿Esto afecta a tu salud?”, salga de los labios de Retsu después de escucharlos. Es todo lo que le preocupa.

No estoy tratando de decir que es la mejor opción sí, es exactamente lo que quiero decir, solo quiero aclararlo.

#jun guevara #jun guevara baki #jun guevara x reader #jun guevara x lector #mumon katsuragi #mumon katsuragi baki gaiden yuuenchi #mumon katsuragi x reader #mumon katsuragi x lector #miyamoto musashi #musashi miyamoto baki #musashi miyamoto x reader #musashi miyamoto x lector #retsu kaioh #retsu baki #retsu kaioh x reader #retsu kaioh x lector #baki the grappler #baki son of ogre #baki dou #baki headcanons

[ravelights]

head canon/ theories for who Hisashi is and role he'll play in the story

With DFO resting in the grave, I thought I'd give a few of my other theories I have come up with for Hisashi over the years.

He's the person the Deku narrating everything too. IDK why but for Some reason I always liked this theory. Although there no evidence that Deku is telling the story to anyone, I can't help but think it's neat.

He studies quirks, like that his job. Considering 80% of the world has a quirk I think it's fair to say there would be people studying them for many different reasons. I think he be this strange mash up of a doctor, scientist and academic. His job would make him travel around the world and study bizarre, amazing and dangerous quirks. It also be a great tie in stories wise to the quirk doomsday theory, if it turns out he was really away studying to see if that theory is actually true. (I also think that where Deku pick up his hobby for studying quirks as well) his job would make him have to be away from home for long period's of time and not easy to contact sometimes. Despite how interesting his job sounds, it actually involves a lot of paperwork and reviewing and research.

When he's home he's usually home for a good six months or more, and typically the three would do things together when he's home. Inko doesn't mind Hisashi job because he was doing it long before he met her and didn't want him to quit doing it just because they got together. And like most Japanese housewives she controls the finances he just makes the money that give them all comfortable lives.

I think he's a quite, charming guy who keeps to himself, unlike Izuku and Inko he's much more calm and never cries. He very much like's his life, he has no dreams or goal to become a hero or be out on some battle field. He's a passive guy who isn't big on violence, and see's the value in a ordinary life. I wouldn't think of him as a pushover, but like Izuku he's nice to everyone he meets. Also like Izuku he is the person you do not fuck with, he seems like a guy that vaguely feels like he's been through some stuff, it take a lot to get him mad but when he is, you run for the hills.

Izuku doesn't think of him much because he knows his dad doing just fine and is used to him going away on long trips. But also because as much as he hate to admit it, Izuku does not want to end up like his dad when he grows up. As much as he loves and respects Hisashi and think he's a good man with a stable job, he feared that if he grew up to be his dad then it's an admission to giving up on his hero dream, and just being content with ' an ordinary life'. Something he does not what to think about now that he had a real shot at being a hero. That being said, If Hisashi where to come home at anytime Izuku would absolutely be happy he's home and they go do something together.

Hisashi is the person who introduced heroes and heroics to Izuku, and arguably shaped how Izuku viewed them, and how Izuku would believe a hero would act. Hisashi like Izuku is an All Might fan, just not to Izuku level. Izuku only vaguely remembers, but Hisashi was the one installed a lot of values that is ingrained in to Izuku being, of being a good person. One of them being to never give up on saving a person and that everyone deserve a seconded chance. (I think he'll show up at some point in the flash backs that are happening)

His is neither supportive of Izuku hero dream nor is he dismissive, ultimately he just believes that Izuku life is his own and Izuku can do what he wants. Hisashi just there to provide Izuku with every possible pathway he can get, no matter how impossible they may seem.

He's AFO son, because can you imagine how hilarious that would be.

#I joked about it in a another post but if Hori ever dos do a sequel comic to mha I want Hisashi to be the main character #and for it to be a prequel story that just follows the crazy shit Hisashi got into in his youth and what a world look like pre-All Might #Telling Izuku about some major stuff that went down with AFO and heroes and the likes. #Basically acknowledging that if Hisashi had been in MHA it would have been a lot shorter story and they would have known things a lot soone #bnha #midoriya izuku #bnha spoiler #boku no hero academia #midoriya hisashi #hisashi midoriya #dad for one

[utilitycaster]

You have such a way of articulating things I’ve been vaguely feeling into intelligent coherent statements. Would you care to elaborate on the way that how Laudna+Imogen “went canon” was a curse?

Hey anon,

Thank you! So this is the thing: obviously I tend towards a fairly critical and snarky demeanor, but like, the best way to put it is in the context of the impending Nein show. I, and most of the people I chat with who are also not feeling Imogen and Laudna's relationship, are not of the "if that PURPLE FLOATY HOMEWRECKER SKANK SHOWS UP I will EXPLODE and SCREAM and DIE" or "fjorester divorce" or pretending Yasha doesn't exist persuasion re: this relationship (or for that matter the WELL if Percy dies after 70 years of marriage to Vex and then she's with Keyleth for the rest of her life WE WIN type of person either). Like, honestly, there was a post advocating for a breakup, but I think it included within it an argument that they reunite after some time apart, and that's kind of the mood. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. There's no ship war to be had. I don't dislike the ship because of competition or some fundamental dislike of the characters, and I honestly would like to be able to like it, and the path for it to not suck would have been immensely simple. That path even still exists, though with every week it grows narrow and less smooth and far more awkward, but I think it will require a pretty serious out of game conversation that as far as I know hasn't happen, and I am not holding my breath given the lack of movement.

That's why it's a curse: the generic form of this curse would be "may your ship become canon prematurely, with with only one person really invested, and that person not actually prepared for it or expecting it, and may it have virtually no moments and exist in a very plot-heavy work where it is almost certainly going to be largely out of focus, after the groundwork when things were quieter was never laid, and may it be so close to being good but consistently miss the opportunities for that to happen."

Just to recap the issues, stripping away all the past snark:

It's never really felt like these were two people who had been best friends for two years. They've always felt like friends of circumstance - like people you meet the first week of college and kind of go around with so as not to be alone, or the only other person your age on your street. Because they were both extremely lonely they clung to each other...but they really don't actually connect with each other much in conversation other than just kind of blandly repeating how much they mean to each other and never showing it. They have no real boundaries or limits with each other, likely because of that fear of being alone, but they aren't exploring that in a Heavenly Creatures or Thoroughbreds kind of way either. There's virtually no sense of history - no inside jokes, no shared experiences prior to Zhudanna except for one throwaway line that, like many of their interactions, fell flat. Like...I don't actually think that it's bad to aim for a platonic female friendship and end up with an F/F ship but like. Beau and Jester had a great platonic female friendship that happened to also include Beau's brief crush. Imogen and Laudna didn't even sell me on them being friends, let alone lovers. They have always felt like oddly clingy roommates. Their respective interactions with quite literally every other PC - few of which I find romantic and many of which I find explicitly not romantic - all feel like they have more depth. Orym is explicitly not attracted to either of them and they've both had more meaningful and honest moments with him. Pun unintended but they both felt infinitely more alive during the party split when they couldn't just go to their dull gray comfort zone of each others' meaningless repetitive affirmations.

Zooming into that lack of boundaries and conflict, there's no arc. Once characters get together often the conflict resolves, but there needs to be a build to that point, and we simply don't have that. The two points where this could have happened were: the gnarlrock fight, had it actually played out, could have led to a deepening of the relationship and some honestly and character development but due to what I am again interpreting as fear of losing the other to the point of never addressing any of these points of friction, it just resumed the status quo. Similarly, as I mentioned, Laura flat out said she went in expecting to be rejected. I think that story would have won me over. I think that if Laudna had rejected her, and Imogen had to grapple with that (and, by extension, Laudna's justified anger and trauma from the Team Issylra didn't disappear into thin air) and they spend some time actually figuring out who they are as individuals and Laudna lets herself be more than a validation machine who pushes her emotions down, and then eventually they come back around to each other? I'd be unbelievably on board. And you can go back, to my posts and others, in which we were pretty harsh on the fanon cottage cheese (yes, I am going to try to make this happen) version but said "I trust Laura and Marisha to do this in a way that is interesting" and then they straight-up didn't.

Obviously this has the potential to change - I even think the next episode is finally a case of maybe bringing all the Delilah stuff to a much needed head which in turn might introduce something into the relationship - but man it's been a whole lot of nothing since they kissed. I think Laura's initiated every single conversation, as mentioned Laudna can't even reciprocate 5 minutes of dancing on a ghost pirate ship without wandering off, and they didn't even bother to take watch together.

Something I keep going back to, and which ties into the above, is Brennan Lee Mulligan's whole discussion of how important character creation is to story. The thing is, these characters were created as close friends. Why does this feel so lacking? Like...why do Kima and Allura, two NPCs, feel like they have more weight? Why did the platonic relationship of Molly and Yasha, for which Ashley wasn't even present, feel like it actually was a friendship of 8 months? Sam and Liam came up with an entire system of grifts! Why is literally the only detail we have from the time between leaving Gelvaan and the time arriving in Jrusar is that at some point Imogen and Laudna saw someone with nipple tassles, and that came up once, like 60 episodes ago? Why are people so frequently sold on say, Loquatius/Laerryn, which had less than 24 hours of gameplay over a single night in-game? Why does every single Circle of Needle and Thread member relationship feel more real? Why were Aabria and Travis able to convincingly play ex-lovers in a handful of episodes despite Aabria deliberately surprising him? Like...I am not saying preparation wasn't done, because it very well might have been, but it's not coming through at all and plenty of other people have managed to get across an existing friendship or relationship in a fraction of the time, within the same campaign, so it's not that the plot is moving too fast for it. And again, if prep wasn't done, or if it's not coming across, that's really fixable, but it hasn't been fixed. I think of the 4SD episode where, five or six episodes later, Marisha and Laura still hadn't talked about the relationship and it's like...yeah. We can tell. Literally a two hour trip to a cafe would fix this but god I don't think there's been one.

Anyway, obviously this was an incredibly popular ship, but it's honestly slowed down noticeably since going canon because...it's not that great, and there's not much content in canon. I think a big appeal of the ship was the anticipation and the fanon and now that it's canon...I suspect a lot of people are quietly realizing that actually yeah this is kind of all it is, at least for now, and something is going to have to happen to bring about a change.

And I hope so too - I joke about being a hater, and I am very much a critic...but this really is the realization of that post about being more of a dismayer than a hater. Laura's past two ships are probably my favorites, and Beauyasha is high up there, and even as Vaxleth isn't really up my alley it's sweet and it makes sense and has a lot of great moments. It really would not take a lot of work to make this ship good or at least okay and not...nothingness, but it does take some, and I haven't seen it.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag #long post

[vaspider]

Hi,

I’ve sent asks before talking about how much it means to me to see someone be so visibly queer.

I want to say that I also really appreciate your posts about being fat. Especially the ones you’ve made recently about doctors & fat phobia.

I think I fall into the realm of small fat, because people can’t really tell my weight just by looking at me. But I have had years of doctors telling me I’m obese, and suggest losing weight/healthy eating/exercise to help with my blood pressure and cholesterol. The blood pressure is definitely a combination of genetics and white coat syndrome, and I suspect the cholesterol is genetic too.

Basically, I am currently dealing with so many internalized biases because of the treatment from doctors, combined with the way people talk about weight and health. But I really appreciate seeing someone say that it’s not right to treat fat people like that just because you view their health as a moral failing on their part, even if their health problems stem from something they can control. And it just gives me a bit of hope that, even if all my health problems were directly my fault, it still wouldn’t mean I deserve to be treated bad for it

You don't deserve to be treated as unworthy of care by a doctor. Ever.

It doesn't matter how you got to where you are. What matters is that you are a person, and because you are a person, you are worthy of care and respect, especially from people who go into a caregiving profession! That's totally the job!

I've been having some really really long and deep conversations with one of my cousins recently - she's a cardiothoracic surgeon & her insight into why doctors can behave the way they do has truly opened my eyes. She doesn't try to justify any of it, to be clear, but understanding that people can shut off in defense or retreat to a defensive authoritative position when they don't know an answer has been helpful.

And hearing her way of addressing patient fears and talking them through the way that other doctors have treated them helps affirm to me that it is both possible and necessary to treat patients as though they deserve good, non-judgmental care. No matter what.

You deserve good care. It doesn't matter if you think it's "your fault" or even if it is 100% "your fault," you deserve good care, if for no other reason than a stressed-out patient doesn't heal as well! Doctors should turn down the judgment if only so they get better outcomes. Heh.

[vickyvicarious]

Then, for the first time in my life, I saw Van Helsing break down. He raised his hands over his head in a sort of mute despair, and then beat his palms together in a helpless way; finally he sat down on a chair, and putting his hands before his face, began to sob, with loud, dry sobs that seemed to come from the very racking of his heart. Then he raised his arms again, as though appealing to the whole universe. "God! God! God!" he said. "What have we done, what has this poor thing done, that we are so sore beset? Is there fate amongst us still, sent down from the pagan world of old, that such things must be, and in such way? This poor mother, all unknowing, and all for the best as she think, does such thing as lose her daughter body and soul; and we must not tell her, we must not even warn her, or she die, and then both die. Oh, how we are beset! How are all the powers of the devils against us!" Suddenly he jumped to his feet. "Come," he said, "come, we must see and act. Devils or no devils, or all the devils at once, it matters not; we fight him all the same."

I feel like today's entry, and specifically this scene, is a key characterization for van Helsing in much the same way Mina going across town to rescue Lucy was for her.

He has been running himself ragged trying to solve everything himself. While he's not willing to tell the truth to people, I do think it's out of a protective instinct most of all. He also treats Lucy like a child. This is depriving her of respect as a fellow adult, and excluding her from key information about her own life and death. That's definitely no good either, but once again it seems clear to me that he means it well, and is trying to comfort and protect her. He's trying not to burden other people with knowledge that will only hurt them. It's a serious flaw, but not one unique to him by any means, and not maliciously meant.

In a way, his anguish over being unable to warn Mrs. Westenra about the danger of what she did without killing her (and thus possibly Lucy) sums up his feelings about telling the others about vampires. It's just, the danger they will face isn't physical. But he'll destroy their worldview if they believe him, he'll cause them deep anguish and fear. And if they don't believe him, he might destroy his own relationship with them, and he might lose his ability to try and save Lucy. At the same time, nothing he's trying is succeeding in saving Lucy anyway. It feels like every single time he makes any progress or thinks he finds some kind of solution, he returns to find her dying again. No wonder he talks about fate; it's like nothing he can do is able to help. How can this even happen, without the power of all the devils surrounding them and actively working against them?

But then we come to the defining moment. Because van Helsing refuses to give up. Even if it's a fight he's destined to lose, he's going to fight it all the way to the end, because Lucy doesn't deserve this. He lets himself break down, can't help it - but he ensures that he doesn't show any of it to Mrs. Westenra or Lucy. He tries to be gentle and smiling with both of them. And he gives himself only a minute before getting back up and heading in to resume the fight again. He donates blood himself, this time, and then volunteers to stay up with her for multiple nights to come, even though he sent both younger men home after their own transfusions, and was just talking about how much exhaustion has built up for him.

He hates everything about this. But above all, he wants to protect people. Whether that be their emotions/innocence (in many ways misguidedly), their health, or their soul. He will give all he has, will push himself to keep going until the very end to protect them as best he can.

#dracula daily #van helsing #not excusing him not telling them btw. but i understand how he gets there #it's very consistent to his character

[mbti-notes]

I'm an INTJ having a crush on an INFJ. Do you have any tips how to use my dominant Ni sharing on how to know her more/ at least be friends w her? She has a reputation amongst ppl that It's hard to know how she feels truly & what she says/ expresses doesn't necessarily express how she actually feels. Tbh, we've been "friends" for many years, but I don't even know If she actually sees me as her friend bc I heard that she struggles at trusting ppl. Thank you.

When you want to get to know someone, a tried-and-true method is to look for commonalities to bond over. It is especially important to FJs(Fe) to feel as though the both of you are on the same page emotionally and in agreement regarding important (moral) beliefs and values.

One good thing about FJs to keep in mind is they tend to be very forgiving as long as you can provide them a genuine, authentic, and humble explanation of yourself. If you help them see the situation accurately from your point of view, they'll be more willing to overlook any faults and flaws. This means you always have to be transparent and expressive enough to let them know what's really going on with you. If you leave them to guess too much, they're likely to jump to unfavorable conclusions in the absence of facts. There is a limit as to whether they can accept repeated mistakes though, because they tend to view those as lack of care and effort. I mention this point because INTJs tend to falter in relationships due to being too inexpressive or uncommunicative.

The best way to discover commonalities is through communication, so create opportunities to have substantive talks. INFJs will generally see you as a friend once they enjoy talking to you and look forward to talking to you, otherwise, you are just a person who exists like everyone else. As you probably know, Ni doms don't tend to enjoy small talk, so it's best to get to the main point and dig in to the meat of things as soon as is socially acceptable. INFJs are usually looking for meaningful conversation about topics of existential/societal/future importance. They usually like to hear new ideas that spark their creativity or broaden their perspective. They usually want someone to take an interest in what they are thinking, what they believe, and what they value... but on their terms, i.e., in ways that are respectful of personal boundaries. It might help to keep conversations abstract (non-personal) at the start because it gives you a chance to gauge their interest level and it gives them a way to gradually ease into deeper territory.

INFJs with trust issues might not be very forthcoming, so don't push them too hard when they block your advances, or else they might clam up completely. It's very important to be nonjudgmental and empathetic in order to create a safe space for them to express themselves authentically (since they fear rejection and betrayal). Be clear about your purpose/intention or else they might start to get suspicious of you. If you ever get the feeling that they are using a fake persona around you, it means they don't trust you and you have to do more to reassure them that your intentions are pure and you are a safe person to interact with. If at any point they feel as though you just can't understand them or you have been dismissive/judgmental of them, they'll start to believe talking to you isn't worthwhile and your chances of success will quickly drop to nil.

No matter the type, trust issues are a big relationship barrier. It is best to approach guarded people slowly, sensitively, patiently, and confidently. E.g.: You have to be the one to take the lead and initiate contact because they are too afraid to. You have to be the one to open up and ask more questions to keep conversations going because they are too self-involved to participate fully. You have to be the accommodating and understanding one because they cannot open up to you otherwise. You have to be the one to apologize first for relationship missteps because their social skills are too poor to handle conflict reasonably.

It doesn't sound very fun, does it? But it can be a very worthwhile and fulfilling process to help someone open up to love. That said, don't always put yourself in an unequal position of giving much more than you're getting in return. Give people plenty of chances to open up, but they have to eventually meet you halfway. When there's no willingness to meet you halfway, you might have to admit defeat and treat it as a lost cause. Remember, relationships can get very messy very quickly, so it's best to accept the fact and try to go with the flow. Venture out there, see what happens, and learn as you go. As long as you always try to act with integrity, you'll have nothing to regret.

#intj #intj relationships #infj #infj relationships #crush #communication #ask

[petite-ursus]

Ok, so now I am of course relistening to the Protector of the Small series. Alanna thoughts.

Thinking about Alanna's fingers "itching to heal" even Wyldon's arm.

It's who she is.

Thinking about how badly she wanted to help Kel, just as a regular mentor. She probably pictured they'd have a game of chess in the evening like she did with Sir Myles, discussing life and what Kel was going through... with the addition of a wave of her hand, easing away the odd black eye. Of course she would know how rough and tumble being a page is, and healing Kel after a rough day would have been a matter of course for her. Seamlessly fitted into this image of mentoring the next girl page. She could heal Kel, and so she would and she wouldn't even think about it. (If Sir Myles had been gifted, he'd have done the same for Alanna.)

So there's Alanna's frustration at not being able to help as a mentor. Understanding what it is like to bear the isolation of being the only girl (even if her friends didn't know it.) And then there's not being able to help as a healer. Which is a huge part of her character and how she "repays." Especially as a woman who knows what it's like to be a beaten on page., and how it feels to believe you just have to "take it" and figure it out on your own.

And despite that mentality and the thing that set her apart, she had friends (plural) as a page, right from the start. Because only she knew she was different. Yes she had a bully, but he was singular, not systemic. Even without her peers and Sir Myles, she had Coram. She had people constantly offering help. Her journey was learning to accept the help that was always there.

In contrast, she knows Kel is very much alone (with few exceptions.) More bullies than friends. Even the teachers target her. It takes weeks for anyone besides Neal to even speak to Kel. She's alone. It's Page!Alanna's biggest fear: everyone knows how Kel is different, and YEAH they actually don't like her for it. Alanna didn't want Kel to be alone, on any level. She wanted it to be better for her not (in so many ways) worse.

So there's all of that and she knows Kel is in extra unnecessary pain every day.

Despite being blocked from helping directly, we know she has So Many Eyes on that girl. General consensus from the servants and Sir Myles must have been "she's plucky for sure; she doesn't show how much it hurts, but the boys are essentially beating on her every day. If it's not from being rough in training, or making her slip on oil/literal urine, she's being literally hit in fights. She's bruised somewhere different every day."

She knows how it is, to be afraid that showing that any of it is getting to you will mean everyone loses all respect for you. She knows how lonely that is, even with friends.

So. Her fingers itching to heal. To help. The bruise balm. Absolutely packed with magical strength. As much power as she could possible force into the concoction. So much frustrated Care that it makes Neal yelp. Her first something to say "someone cares; I know what you're dealing with, and it doesn't need to hurt this bad. I don't want it to hurt this bad."

Edit: and I know she gave a knife first but that's Different to me. More broad "good luck" and less specific care.

#personal #keladry of mindelan #thoughts #alanna the lioness #tamora pierce #aaaaaaaah #Nothing groundbreaking #just rambling honestly

[iwillgotoheaven]

You know a lot of movies approach the audience with the idea that love conquers all. And I think people genuinely want to believe that. Like, what is the point of human connection if it can’t overcome the systems of racism, homophobia, sexism that have been put in place by our forefathers? So we believe in the idea that we can love it all away just so we can be with the person who makes us laugh and smile even though they could be holding the knife that kills us.

Killers of the flower moon contradicts that idea.

By exploring Ernest’s relationship with Mollie we are shown that his love can not conquer his greed. In the start of the movie, their relationship is framed through almost cliche romance movie story beats. We see Mollie get into the car and almost immediately sparks are there (the Osage are characterized as silent people so getting her to laugh is a big feat), a steamy secret makeout session in a car and personal proposal and a traditional wedding. At least that’s what it’s like from Mollie’s perspective, it’s almost the kind of romance that every woman dreams of. However, the viewer knows about Ernest's plot to take her money but at this point we don’t really see how far he’ll go, so part of us are inclined to believe that maybe he won’t go along with the more violent schemes that his uncle concocting (the viewer can’t help but fall for leo’s charm too). What we do see alongside the more ‘romantic’ scenes in Killers are the scenes of Ernest robbing the natives and wrecking their graves for jewelry. And is it really for the money? We’re shown that once he gets the jewelry he gambles it all away like it means nothing to him. For a guy like Ernest, it's not only his right to take but his right to lose it like it doesn't matter. He doesn’t want the money, he wants power over people he believes to be lesser than him.

I think part of me was rooting for him to be better, that maybe if he can find connection with Mollie then he can find connection with all of the Osage people, but did he really even find connection with Mollie? I think about the scene when it’s raining , Ernest is closing the windows, Mollie tells him to keep the window open and be quiet, Ernest can’t follow, he can’t keep quiet. It’s really such a simple thing he can't even try to respect on a surface level. The thing is though, even with all that, I do believe Ernest loved Mollie as much as he could. I think it would be easy to say that it was his uncle that got in the way, but he still chose to follow alongside him even when he was secure enough not to. So while he did love Mollie, his whiteness, and needed to fit in with them, had more power over him than what he felt for Mollie.

Mollie’s character represents a fear that I think many women of color have. They’ll marry a white guy and be ripped away from their family, and have the only person left comfort them be so disconnected from their culture, so the comfort their white spouse provides is nowhere near close to good enough. Mollie’s story is especially tragic though. The Osage had some level of power compared to other minorities at the time. They were blessed with oil money that gave them a level of protection from violent actions of the white people around them. It might not have protected them from gold diggers but it's still not the level of violence that they would typically be subjected to. But Mollie actively chose Ernest not just for his good looks or charming demeanor but to also avoid getting her family's money stolen knowing that his Uncle was as well off as them. She was unsuspecting of how large their greed was , and that even with what they had they still wanted more. She ended up putting herself in the line of fire by trying to be cautious. But that's not an indictment on her, of course anyone in her shoes could never suspect the person closest to you could harm you or your family. That’s why she ended up keeping Ernest so close in the thick of the murders, to her he was the only person she could trust because he was her lover, he didn't need her money, he should have no reason to be the one involved in those crimes. So he became her only safe place. And it's really fucked up, because what kind of comfort did he provide in the worst of her days? Even when she was sick in bed Ernest was off trying to find ways to secure his bag over caring for her. The sickness itself was made worse by her husband slowly killing her, and really there wasn't much she could have done about it. She married what should be her safest option and yet still was subjugated to violence and heartache. Her wealth couldn’t ever protect her, because to the white people around her it shouldn't have been hers in the first place, so to them what was happening to her was deserved.

Their love for each other wasn't enough to escape all of the ills of society. Ernest is still a white man who didn’t care about righting his wrongs until his own child was harmed, like his fiance's family didn't matter. Mollie loved him as much as she could but ultimately she couldn't change the systems that were already built for Ernest to win and take. The ending is what’s really stuck in my head, the fact that her story was used again for the profit of white people, and that her faith might just be a tool to get money horrifies me that even in death that she and people like her will have to go through that kind of exploitation again and again. I hope that this movie doesn’t end up that way, as another way to find entertainment from her life. And that people actually can take the lesson of not letting societal powers make you harm the one you claim to love.

#killers of the flower moon #martin scorsese #film #film analysis #media analysis

[heartgold]

Thinking about how Sayo was looked down on as worthless and internalized it as she grew up, her being dismissed, bullied and ignored leading her to using witch pranks as a way to earn herself some respect even if indirectly, and the way this is blatantly contrasted with Lion being the direct opposite, having been raised as the heir from birth and thus never belittled as incompetent, and the story making a point to mention that Lion has many talents and skills in things such as sports and is a model student, with their only big weak point being, ironically, foreign languages.

Something about them being two alternate futures with the same baby as the origin point and growing into uniquely different individuals thanks to vastly different upbringings and environments. One of the biggest points that WTC consistently makes (and something that truly shines through in Ryukishi07's writing) is that people are products of their environment, circumstances, and life experiences, with almost nothing being truly inherent, fated, or set in stone, no matter how immutable things may seem. Another point that is made is how looking at different variations of the same event from a higher viewpoint can give an observer deeper insight about the circumstances that caused those differences by pointing out what stays consistent and what doesn't.

Sayo grew up being labeled as good for nothing because she was literally a maid from age 6 (9), the other servants who bullied her for being clumsy and who she was compared to were much older than her, and much of their treatment of her came from a place of jealousy because Sayo received different treatment for mysterious reasons while being unable to pull her weight. She also mentioned being very sickly as a child (it's not hard to connect that this is a result of narrowly surviving death from the cliff and recovering from the surgery + its effects, and her forgetfulness/tendency to misplace things could be brainfog related to it too), so you can tell that doing physical labor from such an early age (AND having to focus on school at the same time!) was always an unrealistic and cruel expectation that she was set up to fail! This becomes even more heartbreaking when you think about how she initially created Shannon as an idealization of the perfect servant she thought she personally failed to be, one who executes all tasks correctly, gets along with everyone without being bullied and who is unconditionally kind and supportive to her, and Gaap's original iteration as Beatrice is literally her way to process and try to understand/find an explanation for why she's the only servant who makes so many mistakes ("there Must be something inherently wrong with me" -> "a witch is haunting me and pulling malicious pranks on me to make me upset"). When she discovers magic (which was essentially... pulling those same pranks she envisioned being pulled on her and experiencing the satisfaction of feeling vindicated, having just a little taste of what playing the witch's role feels like), it's understandable that she lets go of "being a servant" as a goal and ideal (something that made her feel useless and powerless in all senses) and embraces the idea of becoming the prankster witch herself instead, indulging in fantasy and using the illusion of Beatrice as a way to be heard and earn respect through fear and finally feel like she has some worth. She can finally have Something over her bullies by dishing out the same feeling of helplessness she was made to feel, hiding in the gap between truth and lie to play around with their fear of something incomprehensible undeniably happening to them and having no logical explanation for how it could have happened. And this is the basis of all magic in Umineko, but it's tragic how it first came to be: a little girl trying to comprehend why it seemed like something was wrong with her on an intrinsic level and finding comfort in a supernatural explanation to cope with circumstances that were always unfair and impossible for her to thrive.

Lion's universe isn't shown in detail but it's easy to imagine how differently their childhood went: they did great as a student because they weren't expected to have a physical labor job on the side. Their excellent results at school and interest in hobbies such as badminton were praised and encouraged. They weren't constantly degraded and made to feel like an inherent fuckup for not meeting unrealistic expectations for a child. They didn't even need to meet high requirements to be a successor because Kinzo doted on them and guaranteed their unconditional succession from birth. The world of difference in self worth and opportunities for happiness that comes from a massive class difference and having a family to rely on. Many things like this.

And in direct contrast to Sayo, Lion isn't shown to have an interest in imaginative/creative hobbies, with their preferences being more grounded in reality, sports in particular putting an emphasis on being physically present (whereas Sayo's interest in magic and fiction are about escapism, removing herself from the picture). The very specific thing about Lion's weak point amidst many talents being foreign languages stands out to me because it, again, foils Sayo. There's the obvious comment to be made about Beatrice's magic being specifically classified as Western so Lion not being good at English is a reference to them having never grown to become Beatrice, but we can go further: magic and witches are heavily associated with storytelling and the creation of narratives, with Sayo's heart in the story itself being coded by the lens of her magic system and her language of mystery and fantasy, the alternate means of communication she developed because direct communication never worked in her favor.

Simply put, Lion gets to be a human and participate in the world of reality because their upbringing was supportive, they were never pushed away from it to find alternate ways to exist or be heard. Sayo lives and engages with the world through layers of fiction because reality was constantly unfair and cruel to her and she only found happiness and fulfillment by removing herself from it. Their diametrically opposed states of "talented model student heir beloved by all" and "servant who fell through the cracks and turned to fictionalizing her life and reality to cope" aren't inherent qualities but direct results of their environment and life experiences. And all of this serves to make it even more obvious just how harshly Sayo was wronged by basically everyone in her life in a way that piled up over time and felt like an inescapable dead-end of fate. It never had to be that way and there was never anything inherently wrong with her that made a happy future impossible. The tragedy lies in how she was made to firmly believe that. Lion's presence in the story serves as closure and living proof to let both you and Sayo know this in an episode dedicated to her memory

#umineko spoilers #◇ #this ended up too rambly ahhhh sorry. i think i forgot the point i was trying to make like twice #i think about sayo and lion Especially in relation to one another and die a bit

[yantalia545]

Yandere America, Russia, England, Japan, and Austria ((and if possible China)) all find out that there darling is in head over hills in love with Prussia not caring if he's not a country anymore she loves him because he's awesome and makes her smile whenever he's around and one day hopes to merry him even ((oh and the darling is also a country too))

Since you asked so nicely, I wanted to get this out for you as soon as I could. I hope it's to your liking :) I'm a little stuck on China though and didn't want this post to be too long, so unfortunately I think I'm going to leave China out of this one.

Austria:

Honestly, Austria couldn't see how you can find Prussia to be more charming than him. Prussia was loud, unorderly, and just plain annoying. There were times when Austria was sure that Prussia was only with you in the first place to spite him. After all, the feeling of losing to Prussia was more than enough to create a strong sense of humiliation in him.

Austria however, won't let Prussia get away with this little prank of his this time. You may be fooled by Prussia's ways for now, but Austria is determined to make you see that he is a much better option for a woman like you.

He'll try to show you that he is much more mature and well-mannered through his works of art and music. People will begin to notice that Austria had placed a major hold on his duties in place of working diligently on creating the perfect piece just for you. He works tirelessly to string together just exactly how he feels about you into a perfect synchronized melody.

This will definitely create friction, not only between the three of you, but for anyone else affiliated with you three as well. There will be a division between who is cheering on who. On one hand, other countries feel for Austria and the hopeless romantic feelings he harbors for you. On the other, they were moved by your dedication to someone regardless of status. The remanence of that day when you proclaimed your love for Prussia against his own fears of not being good enough for you was truly heart wrenching.

Germany especially will be pulled into the middle of this dispute since he is their stronger, older brother, and both would want his support if things went south.

Not to mention, that Hungary is standing off to the side boiling with rage and jealousy. She feels as if you came in and took the man she loved so deeply. After all, she was married to Austria at some point and looked after him for many years. They may have only been married for political reasons, but she still held hope in her heart that one day Austria would wake up and find his feelings for her. Let's not forget that you decided to run off with Prussia of all people. Someone else who Hungary held deeply. She feels enraged thinking that you came in and stole her place in both of their hearts and is determined to make you pay.

All in all, this will definitely be one tricky and tense situation for anyone involved. There won't be threats of war since it's not really Austria's thing and Prussia doesn't have that sort of power, but fighting and heartbreaks between personifications are sure things to happen here.

What Austria is especially good at though is negotiations and political marriages. It wouldn't really surprise anyone, (but maybe Hungary), that he would try to solve this issue through marriage and would try time and time again to get you to sign a marriage contract with him. All in an effort to tie you to him and take Prussia out of the picture once and for all.

Japan:

Japan would be very conflicted over the matter and wouldn't know exactly what to do. Prussia is known to be a close friend of Japan and is even someone who he respects. Even so, he can't help but feel envious for Prussia winning your heart.

Japan hides his feelings for you well in an effort to congratulate his dear friend. However, he can't help the stinging in his heart whenever he listens to Prussia's blabbering about your relationship. Since the two of them are so close, Japan is very familiar with the struggles that Prussia went through before the two of you got together. He wanted to be happy for his friend, but why did Prussia have to be in love with you of all people? It felt like fate was against him here.

While Japan understands that the two of you are not very close and that you may not even realize that Japan has feelings for you in the first place, he can't help the irritation bubbling inside him at the fact the you love Prussia over him. He wants a close relationship with you so badly, but every time he's tried to approach you, he freezes up and becomes too flustered to hold any real conversations with you.

How can one help it when you just seem so beautiful and perfect in his eyes?

Japan just really wants to make sure to leave a good impression on you and gets too scared that he's going to mess it up. He was isolated from other countries for a few hundred years, so it's only natural that he's not the most in touch with socializing. He had hoped that you would have seen through this little barrier of his, but it seemed that you didn't and were swept away by Prussia instead.

He'd try to bury and contain his feelings for you in any way he could. But even so, it was like you had somehow pledge his mind. There will be many nights where he'd be alone and taken over by his bottled feelings for you and have a strong need to relieve these feelings. Japan will have a collection of various arts dedicated to you such as painting, secret manga series, and even wood carvings and dolls. It's a dirty secret of his that he makes sure is secured under lock and key.

Although, as the fate of all things kept secret, his feelings for you will one day slip.

Maybe he was tried after pulling another all nighter of making his latest masterpiece of you and was being visited by Prussia. He would just be going on about their relationship when Japan suddenly says something impolite and out of character for him. When he realizes what he had just said, everything pretty much starts to go downhill from here.

Japan may try to remask his feelings for you but it won't hold for long. Once the lid to his bottled emotions was loosened, there's no stopping the trickling of his true feelings. Once he realizes he's been found out about, (possibly finding his hidden collection), Japan will snap completely and play sorta dirty over you.

He knows that Prussia is in no position to protect you from any real danger and you're military is no where near his abilities. So Japan may just skip any actual economical scheming or threats of war and just up and kidnap you.

If the two of you are smart, then you'll know that fighting him would be near suicide. If not, and you choose to try to fight back or Prussia tries to receive help from his brothers, then Japan is always capable of threatening (and or) going through with his threats of destroying your country and your people. After all, if you're dwindled down to the same status as Prussia, then you really won't be able to do a thing against him.

England:

You choosing Prussia would annoying him like no other. He already saw Prussia as unwitted, prude, and just down right obnoxious. Like Austria, England wouldn't be able to wrap his head around how you could ever fall for someone like Prussia over him.

England was well educated, treated you very gentlemanly, and even spent mass amounts of effort to include your smaller country in high-end business meetings and trades that benefitted your country tremendously. Even so, you choose this glorified nobody over him.

Okay, maybe the way he treated you was a bit more glamorous in his mind than in reality, but he really is trying here. He'd try to compliment or help you, but he didn't want to seem too desperate or clingy and would insult you on accident instead. Those who were close to him understood his actual feelings but unfortunately, you were not.

As a result, It drove him obsoletely crazy when you confessed your feelings for Prussia in front of everyone.

At first, England could only sulk and throw insults your way. He'd go on and on about how you've sunk so low, or that you don't actually love Prussia and that the only reason you're with him in the first place is because you know you can't do any better than a nobody like him. When he said that last bit, he may have received a well-deserved bitch-slap... :)

As time goes on, England will only be seething with more rage and jealousy. Others close to him have tried and tried again to coax him into letting you go, but he's just too damn stubborn. Interference with your relationship from England in bound to happen eventually.

One day, England will get the most delicious idea he's ever had and he can hardly contain his excitement when he finally puts it all together. If you won't come to him yourself, then he'll just have to make you.

As a member of the great nations, he has a vast amount of wealth and power. Definitely more than you or Prussia combined. He can use this to his advantage and sabotage your reputation.

Do you get most of your resources from international trade? Well now he's overbought important recourses you buy so the prices are inflated or just unavailable. Are you a country of vast agriculture? Somehow there's been a deadly fungus taking over your crops and making it difficult to feed your people. The list of England's torment reaches no end.

You're not a wealthy country, so these handicaps he's created have made what little resources you could obtain from difficult to just downright impossible for you to possess. You'll become weaker and poor. Drained from the mass amount of pressures that England has created for you.

However, it's not enough for England to just be with you anymore. He passed that point a long time ago and is a man with a touchy ego. What he desires most now is for you to completely give in to him both country and self. So that you could never obtain the power to do something so vile against him ever again.

Russia:

These were truly grueling times for a lot of people. Russia was currently at his peak for power and seems to be occupying more countries with each passing day. Due to Russia's rise in power, it would only spelt disaster for you and Prussia.

The two of you had banded together during these difficult times so that life forced in Russia's house wasn't as bad. At least together, you and Prussia could find comfort in eachother during the small moments the two of you would to have together.

Russia was already all over you, as you were his favorite for seemingly unknown reasons. He'd call on you for just about anything; Bring his food, fix him his drinks at the end of a long day. Even just ordering you to keep him company on the days he has a lot of paperwork to do.

On the fateful day he finds out about your secret relationship with Prussia, all hell breaks loose.

There is no hesitation in Russia's actions as he quickly pulls the two of you apart. Not a single word is uttered from Russia as he starts wailing on Prussia with his metal pipe that he's seemed to pull from out of thin air.

Prussia will forever be haunted by the dead look in Russia's eyes. It was as if what little light Russia had left in his heart was sapped from his body. Leaving nothing behind but an hallow shell of a man. All you can do is cry as you helplessly beg Russia to stop. He was much bigger and stronger than you, so there wasn't much you could do to stop him.

When Russia finally notices you, his whole figure shift as if a fire had been lit inside him. He'll forget about Prussia in the moment and focus on how to punish you.

You did break his heart after all. You must pay.

Without a second thought, (or maybe without thought at all), he'll throw you over his shoulder and drag Prussia's batted form down to the cellar.

That was the last time you saw Prussia. You know he's still locked in the basement but you're unable to see him. Russia now has you glued to his side 24/7. You're forced to follow him in every activity he does no matter how mundane or secretive it is.

You're not in a position to deny him.

Even when Russia's power was slowly diminished and the others were freed, you seemed to be the only one that Russia could not stand to let go. Not even America could get him to budge.

Prussia would be forced to watch you sadly from the other side. Powerless and unable to help you escape from the loving prison Russia seems to have encased you in.

America:

Despite the fact the Prussia and America have a great bond with eachother, they're both still very competitive people. You're just the biggest thing they've competed over and neither of them are willing to lose this time.

It was well known by everyone that they both shared feelings for you. After all, neither of them are very secretive about their feelings and practically threw themselves at you whenever you're around. They'd actively try to outdo the other in an attempt to impress you. When the day comes that you openly choose Prussia over America, things become very awkward and tense.

America doesn't acknowledge, or rather, respect, the fact that you're in a relationship with Prussia. He won't only not back down from trying to show off to you at any chance he gets, he's now trying to tie the two of you together through contracts and alliances in hopes that he can persuade you into leaving Prussia for him. You've tried to tell him off many times and Prussia has even started fist fights in an act to get America to back off, but even that doesn't seem to shake his determination he has for you.

Like all the other nations in this post, America is well aware of the fact that Prussia is powerless in comparison to them and is going to use that fact to his utmost advantage; Regardless of how dirty and cruel it may seem. What America also recognizes is the fact that personifications are not like normal people and are forced to bend to the will of their people; Especially their bosses.

There comes a time where America realizes that if you won't give in to him and his wonderous ideas, then he can always go over you head and straight to the main head of your country. Your boss would be thrilled to make connections with America. Anyone would be really if they were only looking surface level.

America is the most powerful country there is with it's mass wealth, technology, and culture. It seems almost like a no brainer to your boss and signs you away without even a second opinion from you.

He sometimes will feel some sort or remorse over how your boss practically threw you under the bus in order to deepen his own pocket and makes sure the man pays some sort of penalty for it in the future. America also gives you a bit more freedom in this situation than he would in any other scenario with you.

America would treat you extra well and shower you in anything your heart desires. He even allows you to still attend meetings and retain any connections you had previously with other countries. Besides maybe a select few such as Prussia (obviously), Russia since he's not on good terms with him, and most likely Germany in fear that he may sympathize with you or his brother and meddle with all that America has done.

Life with him will be luxurious, yet stiffening as America slowly sinks his teeth further into your politics and international affairs to match his ideologies and goals.

#hetalia #yandere hetalia #yandere england #hetalia japan #yandere america #yandere russia #yandere austria

[mdhwrites]

A Beautiful Understanding: Envision a Rose Forthcoming

There are many things that Honkai Star Rail has surprised me with, especially within its sidequests. Ones with silly twists, neat ideas and just simply good execution. With my issues with Penacony's main story though, there was certainly one element that I hadn't been prepared to see amongst it all. Spoilers ahead for the sidequest: Envision a Rose Forthcoming

I was tempted to screen grab essentially this entire final conversation but I only grabbed two. This first one probably resonates with many of you though. It is something anyone with depression has had to face, especially in their darkest hours. During those times when it is so loud that it feels all consuming. Like there is only it.

Worse yet, Cocona talks of compromises she's made with the voice. Parts of herself she corrupted or cut off in order to appease it. To try and mold herself into what could be happy and to lose that which causes her pain. To appease others but especially to appease this voice that will not stop.

Until the voice was all there was.

I characterize in my own works the idea that when someone goes to that darkest place, there isn't really thought. Nothing can penetrate the void that's consuming you as the misery is all that faces you back. Personifying it as a voice that cuts all else out, that has you entirely in its grip, is a great other way to put it though. When your thoughts tell you that yes, cutting the nose to spite the face is exactly what will help, even if both are a part of you.

But.

It is not wholly cold, nor is your intervention a miracle that cures her. To get this, you have to stay with her. Refuse to let her disappear, even as she asks you to allow it. Make sure she knows SOMEONE cares. Someone is refuting the voice that seems to be her entire reality. You are there for her and that's what matters. Admittedly, you do it by grabbing her hand and not letting go and I'd prefer it to be that it's that you simply won't leave but that's really my only complaint with the sequence.

Otherwise, I think it's just an incredible depiction of someone at the brink. The rest of the quest does a good job depicting her depression as well. You literally have to fight and destroy her ego as she wants to stop having desires and caring about her dreams so that it's easier to forget the pain but things only get worse for it. You see her outside of her mindscape struggling to even pretend to be happy and people talk about how despite the fact that she has a good job is well respected, she is still miserable for no reason. The fact that a doctor who just wants to literally cleanse her of the emotion of sadness says this makes me want to punch them in the face and it frankly sold me on The Family being corrupt and crooked more than literally anything in the main plot since this is what they believe to be a good 'doctor'. You can see the struggle though and do you know what happens when you give Cocona the medicine?

She refuses to take it. She performatively does but she has her memories and emotions back and doesn't want the numb. Doesn't want something that only makes the pain tolerable. As someone who has to look at his own medication, after so many failed and even now still trying even old ones to see if they'll do something now... A common fear for many is that the meds will make them lose who they are. That they deaden life and I'm happy that the game didn't depict that as a positive. That cutting those things off isn't how you get better.

It's just a shockingly respectful depiction of depression, even to the point of wishing for it to end, and that's kind of the last thing I actually expected to see in Star Rail. Even larger games that are trying to be deep and contemplative with their main stories on these subjects can end up shooting themselves in the foot. Try to act like there is just a cure or that it can be fixed all too easily. To treat it like a disease that just needs the right medication.

And admittedly, to give this sidequest a happy ending, they have her find joy in life again through a passion she'd been forced to put down. As someone who is happiest when they're able to write though... Embracing the bright side of yourself, and finding those clouds parted enough to allow you to do so, can genuinely do wonders for someone. As far as ways to wrap this up, in a SIDEQUEST, it's very good and well setup as the way she may escape her dark days, at least in a way we can believe will stick.

It's a good reminder for me of why I still want to stick with this game. I don't consider a good portion of Penacony's main story content to be sincere. Its sincere elements are to some extent twisted for insincere uses and it sours my favorite parts of the content. That isn't how Star Rail always is though. When it just wants to tell a good story with good, heartfelt characters, it knocks it out of the park with shocking regularity.

It's why Belobog will continue to be my favorite world and I'll keep waiting for the next time they believe such a simple tale can be strong enough to lead us somewhere new. That it can be hold the audience at the brink, without feeling the need to let them go just for the shock of it.

Not when it itself knows better than to glorify such a fall.

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#hsr #Penacony #honkai star rail #honkai spoilers